First of all, so sorry to hear about your Mum. Hope that she gets home and is improving daily. Will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. As for this chapter, it is amazing. Finally Michael is taking blame for his part in this, but is it too late. As much as I loved Brian's character, there were times when he hurt Justin that I wanted to smack him. I love happy endings and hope that there is a chance they can repair the damage that has been done, but only time and your wonderful thoughts will tell. With so much in your RL, just take care and we will wait patiently for new chapters.
Another punch in the guts, but for once, Michael was not out of limits and got to hear part of what Brian is feeling. Maybe their relationship could be restored, in a long long time. There still is a connection.
What a hard chapter to read; though I guess it's something that could happen when someone has such a history.
I just feel so all over the place cause I want Justin to get better, but how can he when he can't heal.
So far no one is healing it is just a lot of going through the motions without any really healing, cause every time a wound is open it's another ten steps back.
Brian and Justin are trapped in this cycle that so far has no end cause they are avoiding issues that they just face.
Michael may have grown some insight into himself but he is still in a way looking for a way to save Brian for himself.
Perhaps Brian and Justin need some place away from everyone to deal with all this pain that is never-ending right now??
Glad you're back ;)
You and Your Family Stay Strong and You're in my Prayers :)
Oh my God...so much pain...everyone is in so much pain...when I first started reading this I hoped that it wouldn't all be about Michael but it had to be said. So much more has to be said from Michael's POV. Your writing Kerri is so poignant, so moving, so completely mournful at times, so tragically heart-rending...you have the ability to touch so many people with your words and your gift. I am in awe of you!
I hope your mom gets better soon hun! You & your family will all be in my thoughts & prayers...much love!
It's good to have you back! This chapter had Michael looking at himself and not liking what he saw, but even after all that when he finally saw Brian he once again said something that hurt Brian to the quick. The same way when he told Brian, in the series when Justin went to stay with him and Ben.
Well Michael did something right in listening to Brian and making Brian see more of his fault and actions that has contributed to Justin’s current state of mind. However I am concerned dropping this bombshell on Brian and then leaving him alone when he knows Brian’s penchant to maybe kill himself is risky
OK, I don't know what to say. I've missed this story and I'm glad your back, but this chapter was fucked up. This started out as Michael semi taking some blame for what he did to Justin and Brian, even though it still seemed as more for Brian's benefit than Justin's. Then the next thing you know, it's Michael talking as if he knows Justin better than Brian. Then talking about Brian or Justin having a daddy kink and than acting as if he is superior to Brian because of how he treated Justin. I'm sorry but I still think someone wishing you were dead, is worse than any thing Brian or anyone else did. Your story always makes me cry, but this time I think it was more from frustration at how it ended then anything else. Can't wait for the next chapter.
P.S. I'm glad your back and that your Mom is doing better.
Hi. just want to send you some encouragement cos you haven't posted for a while. I really love this story and want to see more!
Waiting with bated breath for an update.
Thanks, Deb. I'm just waiting on my beta to get back to me with the latest chapter.
Damnit, now I am back to wanting to cuddle Justin and tell him that he WILL get through this and that he IS okay. So much of what Brian has said to him over the years has damaged him so badly, it's definitely made me think how careful you have to be when you say things.
I really hope they get back to a session again soon. They seemed to do so well last time, but then this happened.
Well done on your reader award, babes. SO DESERVED!
There will be other sessions, but we need to get through this first. He has a lot of self-doubt and hatred towards himself now - that is now more damaging than anything Brian ever said to him.
Well, I am now a big ball of tears, omg. I am so happy that they're talking, finally. They both needed this. They both needed to be forced to ask and answer the questions that were eating each other up inside.
You, my lady, are an actual genius x
Lol, that's debatable, hon, believe me, lol. Ask my daughter - she loves coming to me for English related stuff, but she just sadly shakes her head when it comes to math and goes to her daddy, all the while murmuring that it's okay that I suck at math - she loves me anyway! But thank you.
Justin, Justin, Justin. I want to cuddle you so hard until all your pain goes away, but I also want to shake you and say, LOOK AT HOW MUCH BRIAN IS TRYING. What will it take for him to see how much he wants to be with him and not just because he's a good fuck?
I hope Alex suggesting Brian change the way he asks Justin out hasn't messed things up.
AHH, you kill me with this story, but I love you for it... unless it ends badly and then I will TAKE YOU TO COURT ;)
LOL!! I'ma gonna go hide under the bed so you can't find me! *Pokes tongue out*
Justin will open his eyes soon - he won't have a choice. ;)
Congrats on winning this month’s KD Facebook poll. I totally agree! TAG
TOMMY IS GARDNER'S SON????????? I didn't see that coming, but I bloody love that that little twist you threw in there.
I worry about how little Justin is trusting Brian. Like I get it, but my heart is worried he will never trust him again :(
LOl, I got that reaction a lot. But as I have said before, if you go back over certain chapters, there are hints or seeds as I call them, planted in every chapter as to what is to come. In this case, it was in the chapter that introduces Tommy, and also in the chapter where Emmett offers to find Tommy for Justin - Justin gives you his full name - Tommy Vance. ;)
Justin will eventually trust Brian, and it will because of Tommy and Gardner - think about what era the fic is in, and why Tommy and Gardner are so important. ;)
I wish Justin could see how much Brian has changed, how he wants him for more than just his ass, but he is so damaged from EVERYTHING that it's gonna take time. I just hope Justin allows Brian to show him he's changed, and to see he's being genuine. This story makes my heart hurt LOL
Gonne hurt more soon hon. But Justin will eventually open his eyes.
So many feels, the end of this chapter just gave me such warm fuzzies. Brian is so patient with him and I love that he is willing to do anything to prove to Justin just how much he's changed and what he'd do to get him to see that they're friends.
I loved that Jennifer came in and saw how well Brian was taking care of Justin, but also how well he was responding to him. She needed to see that herself I think, to know that Brian may have been a complete dick at one time, his heart and brain are now in the right place.
They are in the right place, hon. But does Justin know that?
I know I am in love with a story when I can read an entire chapter where Brian or Justin isn't in it... or where it's about two completely original characters. I honestly usually don't like to invest too much of my time into reading about OC, which makes me sound bad, but I find I never warm up to them that much... but these boys, It's like I needed to know what happened and whether or not that guy was winding Tommy up etc <3
Lol, I'm glad you like my o/c's. They are important, as you now know, to the fic as a whole. ;)
That picture was so worth it. now I know who I am picturing in my mind, and what is scary is, I was pretty damn close to how I saw them.
I knew the moment Jennifer mentioned Craig that something like this would happen. Justin isn't ready to even think about his father. Ethan was right in getting Alex to call Brian. He knows how to look after his boy, it may have taken him long enough, but he knows what Justin needs now.
It's great that because of all of this, Brian has found a friend in Emmett and Ted. That he's changed too. He had to.
Change is good and in this case, good. And I'm glad you like the pictures. ;)
Wow, another powerful chapter. It is so easy to feel Justin's pain in your writing. Great job.
Thanks, hon. x
Don't know how to stop the tears all this pain Justin is feeling is consuming him to the point that he can't breathe and every time he tries to find some good clean air it gets tainted by pains of the past.
Craig will Never Apologize but maybe Justin getting his anger out will help?
Brian and Jennifer have so much to apologise for cause they took Justin's trust and threw it back in his face every chance they got.
No one wanted to see that Justin needed help they just wanted things to go back to the way it was before Chris Hobbs swung that bat.
Michael's apology even an attempt won't be able to heal the pain he enjoyed inflicting because Brian didn't choose him, but maybe Justin confronting him and getting the pain out could help Justin.
The weight of all this pain Justin is carrying needs to be unburden and until he talks, yells, screams and cries it all out he will never move past it.
Brian also has to unburden himself the same way or else he will never feel clean and free to say the words Justin needs to hear and believe, plus he will never break the cycle Jack and Joan cursed him with.
Thanks for the Update :)
I'm going to start off by saying, I love your story. Me and my Mother have some of the most heated debates after each chapter. I'm more sympathetic towards Brian and my Mother is a total Justin girl. While I believe this story leans towards being a bashing Brian story. I understand he is to blame for a lot of Justin's problems, but when is everyone else Justin included going to start taking some of the blame. I feel the way this chapter ended that Alex was maybe headed to confront someone, probably Brian. If that's the case then Alex needs to stop being Brian's therapist, because I feel that would unethical. He probably doesn't need to be both of their therapist anyway. I also think Brian is in a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation. If he stays around he is going to be emotionally trashed for everything wrong in Justin's world. But if he goes and leaves Justin alone, it will just prove everything Justin said is true, Brian never cared about him. Once again don't think I dislike your story, because I don't, I love it. It makes me think and I love stories that do that. I looking forward to your next chapter.
Believe me, this isn't headed towards a Brian bashing. What happened between Brian and Justin was ugly, but the "blame" lays elsewhere. Justin isn't without fault in this, and at this point, he is still blind to what is happening around him. His eyes will be opened sooner than you think. ;) And I'm glad this fic makes you think - that's all I have ever wanted when I write a story, is that it makes people feel and think, so if you are doing that when you read, then I am doing what I set out to do. And the fact that you and your Mum are debating this makes me grin. So thanks, hon, I appreciate your honesty. xx
Holy shit....one step forward, three steps back. Those damn voices in our heads sometimes, so completely tragic....Justin is so self-destructive. Alex was so thoughtful and compassionate, more than just a therapist. He's a wonderful therapist but he was really being Justin's friend too.
I can understand Alex approaching Jennifer & Brian in regards to apologizing to Justin but Craig never will, which is another tragedy in itself. I can also understand his anger. Christ, I'm angry and these are fictional characters! You are one of the BEST writers out there Kerri! Love your work....
Michael needs to be punished for what he's caused.
Yes, he does.
Thanks, hon. x