Date: Jun 25, 2019 11:15 am Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Okay, seriously... WHY didn't you just have Daphne tell that 'blind-as-a-bat' Phoebe to get out?! Daphne and Justin SHOULD NOT be talking about stuff like that in front of her!! I can almost bet money she will let something slip to Ethan. She probably Has said stuff to him in the past that Daphne and Justin have said. And best friend or not... You can STILL tell when someone is full of bullshit, which Ethan IS!! Nobody can be THAT blind!!!
I could literally kiss Emmett (well, of course I would love to) for opening Debbie's eyes. I hope she stays wide awake too. 200k! He wouldn't need to buy a house WITH Ben, I know he could have bought one himself with that amount of money. And for Christ sakes aloud! WHy would anyoneneed a COMIC SHOP to look THAT regal and uscale??? That's almost like a slap in the face to Deb. It's like he's trying to be better than what he grew up in. AGAIN... COMIC SHOP!!! But, well.. hehe ... I don't think he will have to worry about affording a house to live with Ben. I don't think Ben will be sticking around when he learns Michael stole 200k from Justin. Oh! It didn't escape my notice that Michael did not say he bought 'collectibles' with some of the money, too.
If Lindsay wants to know what is in the contract so badly, why not just ask Michael if she can see it? You know, play it off as "I just want to help you understand"... type of thing. Kudos goes to Melanie. I don't care if she would have stuck her tongue out at Lindsay, Lindsay and Michael are still more immature. Is it wrong for me to wish that Lindsay would have at least attempted to draw one panel? And aw yes... Lindsay DOES NOT have the talent even close to what Justin has.
HUGS ~Cathy
[Report This]Date: Nov 04, 2016 10:42 pm Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Okay I understand Justin needing some space to become his own man. But please tell me he can do it without the greasy fiddle-fuck... ~ Kathleen
Date: Sep 28, 2016 8:36 pm Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
As I wait patiently for the next update! But seriously I am really liking this. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.
Author's Response:
My pleasure Peggy! Thank you for reading it!!
HUGS,
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 26, 2016 4:27 am Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
I may just try it one day, thanks. As for Michael , I would be crueler then you. I would write him at a carnival on a descending Rollercoaster and have the security bar malfunction and have him fly out but since I don't like death fics he would survive probably still pinning for Brian lol. Yeah, I know that's mean. Lol
Date: Sep 25, 2016 6:19 pm Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Hello Chelle!
I am not a registered user, but I think you'll know who I am just fine. LOL.
I can't tell you how much I am enjoying this story. This is one of most engaging variations I have read in a long time. I don't have time to read like I would prefer, but the first chapter had me ensnared. I can't wait to see how this continues to progress. And... anything that humiliates the chin rat, Michael, and or Lindsay - count me IN. I am there!!
I am anxious to see how their 'Dirty Little Secret' progresses. I can envision such hot intense moments, especially from Brian with him never certain in these circumstances how much time they have together, or how long Justin will want to continue the arrangement. Since as he said, 'this was not like, Justin'. In time, I can see where Brian would insist Justin make a choice. Whether Brian admits it or not, he DOES do jealousy. And it's so fun when he does. Another of my personal loves in a B/J story.
Please carry on, my friend. I can't wait to read more.
Hugs,
Janet
Author's Response:
OMG!!! Thank you so much Janet! I'm so glad that you are enjoying this one. When Tag put it up on the PB link, I had to write it. As always I love to smackdown the Pain-in-the-Ass (PITA) Association every chance I get and this was the perfect opportunity, LOL
There will definitely be some intense moments as Brian finds himself cast in the role of the 'Other Man.' Next chapter will see that and POVs from the other players in this drama. Now that Brian and Justin decided to travel this particular road, it's going to be interesting to see how they end up.
Thank you again so much for reading and reviewing this!! Your support...well let's just say it means the world for me to count you among my friends!
Happy Reading and HUGS always,
~Chelle
Date: Sep 25, 2016 8:08 am Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Thank you for that great explanation. I was thinking that you were going to delete my very looking review lol. I understand Justin now. Yeah! Here is a shorter review. I really want to just push Michael off a very high bridge for knocking our Justin down and being a big part of his broken self confidence and self assurance and self esteem. I wonder why only now Emmett steps up and tells Brian about Michael. I wish they were better friends to Brian and Justin before the mess.
I was wondering about what you said about PTSD as a cause of how Justin is. What about his being almost raped by the Sap and his friends. He never told Brian and even though he fought his way out while being drugged could that be attributed to his feelings now. The fact that he put himself in that situation, he may question because he was trying to be independent and made a bad decision, that makes him feel like he can't do anything right or that he can't make good decisions. And why he didn't listen to Brian. The fact that he took some of the drugs willingly can make him blame himself. And the fact that he was almost raped must of left him with trust and loss of control and other issues. The show just ignored that whole arc and I wish they didn't. Will Brian find out about that in your story? Will that be talked about at some point?
Author's Response:
Justin and Sap's party is being addressed in another story I'm doing so I won't address it in this one. It doesn't fit the overall premise of this plot. This story is mainly dealing with Brian and Justin in regards to interference from the 'family.' It will be addressed in the other story too but not like it is here. This is Alternate Canon so I chose to move the story line up to the present. Whereas the other story is also Alternate Canon, it's timeframe is set within the scope of the show and is to be considered the 'Hiatus' period.
That's the beauty of doing rewrites! Since there is no break in time, an author can treat the lapse in storylines as gap-fillers and create a whole subplot from it. You should try your hand at writing. If there is something you wanted to see hapen in the show you can base a whole arc off of it even if it's considered a complete Alternate Universe story. KD authors are amazing and will beta your work if need asked. You should definitely give it a try!!
BTW... I completely agree with you about Michael. If we were on a cruise ship, I would be the one to probably throw him overboard and then wait until the last possible second to offer him a life raft. Cruel? Absolutely but definitely TRUE! LOL
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 25, 2016 1:05 am Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
And the 'Dirty Little Secret' part starts. lol. TAG
Author's Response:
LOL! *Evil grinning and rubbing hands*
Glad you're still enjoying this!!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Chelle
[Report This]Date: Sep 24, 2016 10:21 pm Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Love this story
Can't wait to read more
Date: Sep 24, 2016 4:47 pm Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Love this. By agreement they can use each other to get what they need because they know that they are there for each other.
~Lorie
[Report This]Date: Sep 24, 2016 1:06 pm Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Hopefully the new verson of 'us' will lead to better things. Can't get over Mikey and Deb thinking Brian will drop money for Mikey to screw over Sunshine?
Author's Response:
Good Morning Phyllis!
I've always marveled that Brian was always called the narcissist or Peter Pan instead of Michael who is egocentric to the extreme. He willing to put himself into positions and simply expects that everyone around him will bail him out. Sadly, Deb expects the same thing, especially from Brian. Anything that makes Lil' Mikey unhappy must be destroyed but Heaven forbid that Michael actually has to stand up and take some responsibility for his own deceitful machinations. Michael's going to learn that he picked the wrong man to satisfy the ID portion of his brain and Deb isn't going to be able to force anyone to fix it for him.
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 24, 2016 12:37 pm Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Oh my oh my oh my...this is going to be very interesting...
Michael is an imbecile...that's all
Author's Response:
Good Morning SHINE!!!!
Yes! There is going to be some interesting happenings going on. *evil grinning and rubbing hands* Now that Justin and Brian have decided this particular road, the real 'FUN' is about to begin!!
Michael is, as always, Captain Pain-in-the-Ass.
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Chelle
Date: Sep 24, 2016 10:01 am Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
In the other chapter I felt that BrIan was being honest with him self and believing what his so called best friend was and did by manipulating his relationship with Justin and that Michael and Lindsay were the cause of the majority of their problems and probably help feed the rest. Brian realizes how it must of looked and how it made Justin feel with some of his actions. And when he finds out that Justin only got half of explanations from him or Michael and that Michael with held how Justin felt from Brian, he understands now. Brian also realizes that Justin was unhappy and ignored that, instead of asking him what was wrong, he just basically gave him to chin rat. He also came to terms that he never defended Justin with his friends and never put a stop to Michael's mantra about how Brian was "that's not Brian" ect He should of told Justin that with him its different. So now that Brian is realizing all of these revelations, he tells him self that he has to think about his feelings and doesn't have the time now to analyze them. Will he man up and face his boy and tell him that he knows that he has hurt him and talk?
In this last chapter with Justin, I can't help but think that Justin is being selfish now . Brian was selfish at times but now he is. Justin knows that he isn't happy with chin rat and loves Brian. He gets irritated with him and has his night terrors but yet he is not leaving chin rat. That I don't understand? And he wants to use Brian for sex until he gets him out of his system. It was cold to tell Brian that he wanted to use him until he gets him out of his system. Brian should of made sure that he got to finish his sentences about Justin not being treated like a whore and that he never thought of him as such. Justin knows that Brian never treated him like that, if he honestly thinks about it. He knows that Brian was different with him then others. Only they know how they were with eachother.
I know that Justin wants to feel like he is independent and self reliant and not a kept man. Which Michael reinforced those feelings in him. But he always worked and probably gave money towards the bills when he was with Brian and he took a loan for school not a hand out so why does he feel that he wasn't self Reliant? Just because he was living at the loft. He is only 19 right, what does he think that he should have a career by the time he is 20. Justin needed reassurance and validation from Brian which he didn't get, because Brian was selfish and didn't communicate when he saw Justin pulling away. They both needed help on having a relationship lol. I just don't get what Justin is thinking on how he can be any more independent, self reliant ect then he was at Brian's. He has a car, post office box but that is not going to make him feel different. He probably needs to realize that the answer is in what made him feel that way in the first place. Going back to his time with Brian and to the root of the "cause and effect" of the specific instances and then talk to eachother. How does he think that Keeping the chin rat and Brian on the side is going you help him find himself or help his "under reconstruction ". Why not just get rid of chin Rat? I guess I don't understand Justin.
And the below part I don't think I get, maybe its just me. What same Things did he mean? If your in a relationship, it is eachother that helps one another and supports eachother, it's not a job but it's what you do for eachother and usually one completes eachother. They are eachothers half?
"But most of all, I want to know me again. And the fact of the matter is that I can't have all I want from Brian, if I don't obtain those same things within myself. I can't even bring myself to ask for them, since this isn't fucking Jerry McGuire and I can't ask Brian to complete me. This is real life and that's not his job; it belongs to me and me alone. Yes two halves make one whole... except where relationships are concerned."
Maybe I put to much thought into this, sorry lol. I forgot it's fan fiction.
Author's Response:
Good Morning Toni,
First thank you for the well-thoughout review. Yes, this is fanfiction but it is also my goal to get my readers to run the emotional gamut in anything I create. This review shows that you are doing that. I write because I can't NOT write- it's a part of me. But the fact that you are all willing to take and enjoy the journey with me is such a wonderful thing. Now for the review:
I think we all tend to forget- at least those who sometimes write fanfiction- that Justin is a MAN and as such some things are just abhorrent to him. It's why I always portray him as strong, independent-minded and one with certain goals/ideals for himself. To me, my characters are human, living and breathing inside my head and therefore have motives, emotions and feelings just as we in real life would. That said, everyone is an individual and not everyone perceives or processes situations the same way. Of course I'm not going to give away the core of the plot but there are a few things going on with Justin in this story that you, as the reader, should be made aware of:
1. Justin and Brian both were exhibiting signs of PTSD during this timeframe. Justin's bashing was a shared experience even if neither one has really acknowledged that fact. In Justin's case, it changed everything from his perception of himself pre-bashing, to his ability to read people and situations of those around him post-bashing. As a result, Justin is no longer bubbly, high-strung, confident young man we had come to know. In a sense he is darker and examining himself and in his mind coming up short. It's a battle between who he was, who he is and who he wants to be. PTSD also changes certain other abilities like judgment which played a huge part in why he got involved with Ethan in the first place.
2. Piggybacking off of my perception and judgment theories, there are a few old adages that come into play. The first one being that if someone tells you something enough, you begin to believe it as fact. In this story, Michael made constant note of what Brian has done for Justin. From living with Brian to taking on Justin's tuition, Michael had plenty of ammunition to shoot Justin down emotionally and aid in destroying Justin's own self-worth. Combine that with what was going on with Brian and Justin behind closed doors and you begin to understand WHY Justin feels the way he does about being independent. Add Lindsay's passive-aggressive insults and you have Justin trying to prove them wrong. The reason that he is with Ethan- for now at least- is he needed to feel appreciated at the time. Michael's 'friendship' was contigent solely on what Justin was able to do for him- much like it is with Brian. Age had nothing to do with life goals, especially in this day and age. Do you know that there is a child as young as 12 that is a millionaire thanks to an internet-based business? Wanting to establish himself at near-20 is just another facet of Justin's character that I'm looking forward to exploring. He's an intelligent man and it will be put to good use. Is Justin being selfish? HELL YES! But not without good reasons.
3. This adage is in reference to the role Brian plays in this... The second old adage which rings true in any given situation is that you have to catch the fish before you clean them. By agreeing to Justin's terms for this reestablishment of their physical relationship, Brian will have Justin in a position (no pun intended LOL) to get some answers for himself and redefine his own ideals and idea of what he wants with Justin. It will take time but Brian is just as determined as Justin is to get what he wants...and what he wants- will ALWAYS want- is Justin. He can't do that if Justin isn't around.
4. The definition of Helpmeet is Companion, not father-figure and not puzzle piece. I'm of the opinion that if you constantly look for someone to fill the empty places inside yourself, you will always be searching for fulfillment. Justin is in that same state of mind now. In order for him to reconstruct his life, he needs to be a whole person- mind, body and spirit. It's one thing for a person to ask someone to help them; it's another thing to look for a person to save them. In a lot of ways Brian continuously rescued Justin (1) from being homeless (2) from having to give up his wants and desires by going to Dartmouth in order to save his parents from divorce and (3) from being dead and in a host of other ways that will take too long to mention here. Justin is in the place emotionally where he wants to learn how to save himself. The steps he will take to do that, might not be agreeable to everyone, but they are his choices. He has to learn to trust himself again and that is where his 'reconstructive' journey is leading him in all facets of his life.
I hope this commentary on your review helps to bring you some clarity to why Brian and Justin are the way they are in this fic. Now that they are agreeing to meet in secret, the real 'FUN' will begin. Peeping and Hiding will not be so easy in this day of modern technology but it will be awesome to watch how they get through it!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 24, 2016 8:21 am Title: Chapter 7: DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Another dense and intense chapter! Thank you Nichelle!
There are so many things to highlight that it could seem unfair to list just some, but here it is:
- even as the sunlight has disappeared behind a six-foot-two, impeccably dressed, auburn haired and hazel-eyed cloud
- If I am to retain some sense or semblance of autonomy in this moment, I can't be that close to him.
- Whatever function I served in your world had to be according to your rules, your need for self-preservation. Looking back I can respect that, but Brian, in my world, you were my safety net, my safe haven, the only person I thought I could turn to when everything around me was going to hell in a handbasket. I've since learned that you can't be that for me.
- I reach out and draw Justin to me, running my fingers through his hair. Somehow the anger I feel in speaking to Michael right now, and inadvertently listening to Debbie's rantings in the background drain away the second I touch him.
So much left unsaid loudly or said loudly through something said to someone else.
Brian is stating that Justin is not history and that Brian is and will be defending him from now on, against anybody who comes with malevolent intentions.
Justin lets Brian know that only he knows what to do with his body and that he only trusts Brian.
I was crashed when I read "I've since learned that you can't be that for me". I hope Brian got the message and will try to change that.
Author's Response:
Good Morning Claire!
You're right in that Brian is seeing where he went wrong and is realizing that communication wasn't the only issue between them. Whereas Justin knows from experience that Brian wouldn't hurt him physically, emotionally and mentally Brian did hurt Justin. Now that is not to say that there wasn't hurt and broken trust on both sides but Brian sees that he has to restore Justin's faith in him. Standing beside Justin as he goes against Brian's best friends will go along way in making that happen!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle