SIX MONTHS LATER

LEE

I’m relatively sure Justin might kick my ass for this one but I couldn’t continue to watch him going through the motions. I wasn’t a fan of Brian, only because Justin would come back after spending time with him and instead of being thrilled, he would be more frustrated. I couldn’t take it anymore and asked what the fuck was so special about a guy who treated you like a mistress. Justin didn’t answer, but I felt like a total shithead for bringing it up. It took a week for Justin to do more than greet me.

“You told me you were over him, yet you get pissed if I say anything that sounds like he was a bastard for the way he treated you.” I tell him.

“I’m trying to make myself believe it’s over, but when you say shit, I remember there were a lot of good times too. Like when we danced around the apartment to slow songs all night, or when he tried to make dinner to celebrate that we’d been together for a year. It wasn’t what you thought. He didn’t control me. I wanted to be with him, so nothing else mattered when he called me.” I tell him.

“Then why are you still living with your cousin?” I ask him.

“Quinn and I get along.” He tells me.

“Or living off the grid makes it so no one can find you, like Brian.” I tell him.

“I don’t live off the grid.” He argues.

“Then why register everything under Cole Taylor and not Justin. You hate that name, but it would keep anyone from finding you.” I tell him.

“It’s really none of your business.” He tells me.

“Whatever you say Cole.” I tell him, deciding to meet the man who has Justin hiding from him.

“Don’t call me that.” He snaps, walking to his office.

BRIAN

I was living my life, or as Lindsay constantly complains, only waking up, working, and being with Gus. I came back to Pittsburgh no longer giving a shit about anything. I started drinking again and tricking to forget.

Michael was following me around like the old days and I couldn’t even take it out on him because I didn’t want him saying I only needed him and Deb to be happy, because I would have torn his head off. He’s thrilled that I no longer volunteer to go out of town on business and is constantly showing up at the loft, trying to stay the night. I'd been passing out drunk instead of worrying that Michael seemed to live here with me. I woke up every morning hating that he was still there.

Emmett showed up one morning and dragged Michael to the diner. Then came back later asking why Michael was constantly staying with me lately, while doing the things he started doing when I came back from New York after finding Justin gone. It's like he had a checklist; pick up Michael, dump bottles down the drain, and drag my ass into a cold shower, repeat, as I went on bender after bender. They would have just ignored it, but when Ted found me passed out on my sofa in my office, I was drunk and talking in my sleep. I woke up to Emmett and Ted looking worried which means once again I talked in my sleep.

“Brian, what's going on with you? Your drinking is out of control, you're barely sleeping, and exploding over things you normally ignore.” Ted asks.

“What's new? I'm the asshole you know.” I tell him, getting up to clean my drunk ass up.

“Don’t get pissed, but you were screaming for someone to come home. I came in because I was worried about you.” Ted tells me.

I remembered dreaming of Justin and trying to convince him it would be different, only the smiling man I know became stone faced and disappeared every time I found him. He was building walls around him, walls that blocked me from reaching him.

“Teddy and I think you need to get away for a while, we'll handle things.” Emmett tells me.

“I did that two years ago, and got berated by all of you for daring to leave Michael.” I sneered at Emmett.

“We were wrong Brian. What happened that night would have happened anyway, Michael would have found a way to go with you even if you were sober. We knew it, we stupidity blamed you, because you didn't have a scratch on you. I know I hurt our friendship because I played into blaming you. Michael is healed and still using it to keep you from having your own life. Which apparently you'd been trying to do, when Michael got better.” Emmett tells me.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, the life I wanted disappeared.” I whispered. “I need to get to work, go babysit my jailer.” I tell them, slamming the bathroom door.

TED

Mel told me we needed to find a way to keep Michael from using Brian’s guilt to control him. I know there isn’t a single one of us who can say we weren’t guilty ourselves of helping Michael and Deb in blaming Brian. Mel told me watching what Michael did caused her to pay attention to the situation and hoped I was a better person then to keep punishing Brian. Because at one time, I wanted what Michael was using the accident to get from Brian. It wasn't fun to face my part in the crucifixion of Brian Kinney. It was even worse when Lindsay reminded me of how Brian helped me when I lost my job. I was still pissed at the way Brian had been treating everyone at the office, and told Mel and Lindsay he causes everyone to not give a shit about him, for being a massive shithead over nothing.

“How would you react if you lost Blake because Michael couldn’t take a shit without expecting you to hand him the toilet paper?” Mel asks.

“Michael isn’t at the office.” I answered, avoiding saying that I'd be ready to murder anyone who tried to make me put my life aside for his.

“I'm trusting you with something I know about Brian. If you value our friendship, you'll find a way to give Brian room to deal with losing someone he loves.” Mel tells me.

“I doubt Ted cares.” Lindsay says angrily, picking up Gus and leaving the house.

“Why is she upset?” I ask Mel.

“She knows that she's just as much to blame, when she didn’t stick by Brian. I need you to tell me that our friendship means enough that this doesn't become gossip.” She tells me.

“Mel, I've always kept to myself anything you've asked me to.” I tell her.

“This isn't about me, but about Brian. I don’t need you to use it as a way to feel superior to him.” She tells me.

I was ashamed when she told me everything she'd been witnessing after the accident and as Michael healed.

“There are so many things that Brian should've hated us all for, but he let it go because he's a fucking martyr. He never once left Michael’s side, yet we acted like him sleeping proved he was a selfish bastard. Brian spent three years of his life getting Michael on his feet and paying for everything, but still we, and that includes me, let him believe he couldn’t have a life outside of Michael. It pisses me off when I think about the things I said when Brian told us he needed to be away from everything. He hired a nurse to wait on Michael hand and foot, but wasn’t even allowed to take a vacation from the pressures we put on him. He would have done what he could if we needed the same thing, not hearing any appreciation from us. I want you to think about that first, because it changed the way I saw everything.” She tells me.

I nodded, because hearing what we did, made it hard for me to talk. Mel gave me a second before hitting me with the next revelation.

“Brian was seeing someone named Justin, it's why he didn't mind being away. Something happened though, when he got called back to deal with Michael. When Brian went back to make it up to Justin, Justin was gone. For Brian to even tell me, should show you how badly he was dealing with losing Justin. Brian needs us to give him space and time to heal from losing a man that meant a lot to him. He can’t get that, because Michael and Deb won’t stop harassing him. I've tried, but Lindsay and I can't be the only ones paying attention to the bullshit Michael’s doing to keep the noose around Brian’s neck.” She tells me.

“What do you mean Michael’s bullshit?” I ask, trying to ignore what even Blake told me, when he watched Michael and Brian out with us.

“I'm talking about how Michael never limps unless Brian can see him, or to get Deb’s ‘Brian owes Michael’ badgering to go in high gear. Start paying attention when Brian wants to do anything that doesn't include Michael, and you'll see what I'm talking about. Brian isn't drinking and tricking because he's being the asshole we accuse him of, but because he's bleeding inside for the man he lost.” She tells me.

“When did you start championing Brian?” I ask, because she's always disliked him for Lindsay depending on him.

“It's hard to hate someone when you see the love he's capable of. I was against Brian being Gus’s father only because it gave Lindsay and him a tighter bond in Gus. Only, he never made me feel like I wasn't Gus’s mother, which if he was an asshole, he could've done. Instead he makes sure Gus knows he got two wonderful mothers to give him everything. He doesn't even have to be asked to watch Gus or help with things we need. Lindsay wanted to be with Gus until he starts school, Brian just added money to our account without telling us, so we wouldn’t have to use the money from my grandfather. He destroyed the asshole I made him by loving my son and believing in my ability to raise Gus. I just wonder how long it's going to take you to see beyond the role you stuck Brian in, because Michael wanted Brian and not you. He gave you a job, and never once made you thank him for it. Think about where you would be if Brian was really the devil we run around treating him like. I’m only telling you this because you’re one of the people who could help him by answering the constant calls Michael and Deb make when Brian isn’t kissing Michael’s ass.” She tells me.

I left after Mel held up a mirror with her words, and I didn’t like the person I was seeing. When I brought it up to Blake, he told me the truth isn’t always what we want to believe, and turning away to avoid it didn’t change it.

Brian is never someone who sees what he does for people. Instead he pretends you're doing him the favor, and berates you with sarcasm for thanking him. Instead of thanking him, we all treat him as if he didn’t do anything to make our lives better. It really makes me wonder if we do expect him to act like an asshole because it make us feel like better people.

He scared the shit out of me when I showed up early to get work cleared away so I could spend the weekend with Blake. There I was, bitching under my breath that I would have to stay later before I could get my weekend away, and Brian is screaming like a man dying slowly because he couldn't keep the man he'd been dreaming about. I called Emmett, who'd been trying to find a way to apologize for not seeing what we all did to Brian. I did the one thing Brian wouldn’t thank me for and told Emmett what I learned from Mel after Brian showed back up from disappearing on us. Emmett didn’t run out to tell, but started trying in small ways to right what he felt was his part in keeping Brian paying for an accident that was just that, an accident.

“What do we do?” Emmett asks, saddened at the words we’d heard Brian whispering.

“About what?” Michael comes charging in. “Have you seen Brian? I looked for him all night. He left when I needed a ride because my leg hurt.” Michael tells us, starting to limp, after he practically ran in here.

“I saw him at the gym. He said he was going to work out longer and then go shop around town.” Emmett tells him, lying his ass off.

It was time to start doing what Mel asked and what was right. “He has meeting with a new client. I think they're planning on lunch on the way to the airport and if the client signs then Brian needs to be in… Wyoming to see the operation.” I tell him, figuring out that I wasn’t cut out to be a liar.

“I wanted him to come with me and help me at the Comic convention, in case my legs spasm. Ted, call him and tell him he has to send someone else. I planned on making it a day out with Gus for us. Brian can’t run off when I wanted to do something fun for us and Gussy.” Michael tells me.

“I’m free to help you.” Emmett tells me.

“Gus expects his father to be with us.” Michael tells us, which was a bit of a stretch when Gus isn’t really talking, much less giving a shit about comics.

“Can I help you?” I hear Cynthia saying to someone outside the office.

“Nope. I heard enough to know coming here was a mistake.” A guy answers.

I went out to see if maybe I could help the guy, and Emmett dragged Michael out behind me so Brian wouldn’t appear from his bathroom and out the lies Emmett and I were telling. Michael didn’t resist leaving, most likely thinking he would catch Brian before he could dare to leave town without telling Michael.

The guy was as tall as Brian, and really could give Brian a run for the money in the looks department. Where Brian was dark this guy was light, with ginger hair and gray eyes. He turned and walked towards the door saying he wasn’t going to let Justin be the mistress. I chased the man, because for once I want to be the one who takes care of the man who does it for everyone. Emmett followed when he heard the name we didn’t repeat to anyone.

“Hey, is that a MacTaylor?” I asked, when I caught up to the guy getting in a MacTaylor sports car.

The cars were made only after the people who wanted them got on a list. I’d never seen more than pictures because you had to have major money to get one, so I was distracted from what I originally wanted to ask.

“Yes. And no, I wasn’t here to talk business.” He tells me. MacTaylor was a firm that didn’t need advertising because the cars were in high demand and hard to get approved for.

“You own it?” I ask, seeing an accountant’s dream account slipping through my fingers.

“I design the engines, my partner designs the rest.” He tells me.

“Why come to Kinnetik if you don’t need the advertising?” I ask, hoping the Justin he muttered under his breath might be the one Brian needs.

“Stupidly thinking there was an explanation for a friend. Now I know it’s just a waste of time.” He looks at Michael and tells me, getting in and tearing out of the parking lot.

“I need to go. Brian should’ve told me he would be away.” Michael pouts leaving.

I waited until we got Michael in a cab, seeing another way Michael was manipulating Brian. “Strange that he didn’t need one of us to hold his hand because of his fear of cars.” I tell Emmett.

“I don’t need another thing that makes me question Michael’s motives.” Emmett tells me.

“We need to find out if the Justin he was muttering about connects to Brian.” I tell Emmett.

“How, we don’t even know who that guy was.” I tell him.

“Not personally, but MacTaylor is the account Brian would give his soul for. I think it’s time to tell Brian he couldn’t convince MacTaylor, that they need advertising.” I tell Emmett.

“Why would you do that?” Emmett asks.

“To have Brian showing me how wrong I am. And maybe finding what he lost.” I tell Emmett.