Brian and Gus walked in Debbie’s living room at six fifteen. The whole family was already there. Deb had requested Ben’s presence and the good professor, who was now sitting in Vic’s chair, had managed to avoid his mother-in-law’s grilling. Emmett was on the war path when it came to Ben’s obsession with Brian screwing up his marriage and Michael’s life. He could understand Ben’s willful blindness to all of Michael’s screw ups and flaws but he had no patience for the “Brian is leading Michael on” song. You can lead someone on for a year or two, not for 17 fucking years! Yeah Brian would kiss Michael on the mouth every now and then but it meant nothing! Some people offer pity fucks, Brian gives pity kisses. Anyway, Emmett was sitting as far away as he could from Ben and giving his whole attention to Jenny. Now Jenny was another bone of contention he had with Michael. The little asshole’s lack of acknowledgement of his daughter spoke volume about the man’s values and maturity or lack thereof!
“Momma!”
Gus’ excited scream got everyone’s attention and as the little boy ran to his momma who had her arms open, mommy and daddy of the year leapt on their feet and got in Brian’s face.
“Where have you been Briaaaaaaaan? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for a week. Your bitches at Kinnetik wouldn’t tell me where you were or your hotel name and fucking Ted told me it’s none of my business. Why did you change the locks? I need a key. I’m moving in with you. Ben and I are over.”
“Brian I can’t believe you haven’t told me that you’re investing in real estate! I would love to help you in this new endeavor. You know how I’ve always had an eye for beautiful things. It really hurt me that you never said a word. I am the mother of your child and I should be kept in the loop. This would affect Gus’ future.”
“Michael, thank you for clarifying that I apparently own a whorehouse and not an advertising agency. Lindsay, unless Sonny boy is also investing in real estate and I’m poaching on his turf, I don’t see why you need to defend his rights.”
Brian finished his little welcoming slap down giving each of his gob smacked fishwives a bright smile and moved away. He took Jenny out of booster seat and sat next to Ted and pointedly gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“Ted, Emmett, Carl, it’s nice to see you. Melanie I would say it’s nice to see you too but I don’t think you’re aware of anyone who isn’t Sonny boy. Ma, your lost boy has graced your house with his presence!”
Deb bustled to the living room to give Brian an embarrassing bone crushing hug but he was on the other side of the room and had Jenny on his lap.
“Kiddo you look fucking stunning. That fucking California weather suits you! You look ten years younger and I’m sure you’d fuck yourself at this point!” She cackled at her own child and toddler friendly joke! “Listen to me now!” He cringed as the finger made its appearance! “You’d better tell the little shit he’s not moving in with you!”
“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it’s none of your business!”
“Don’t open a mouth to me you little asshole!”
“Don’t worry ma, he’s definitely not moving in with me!”
“Good. Keep your mouth shut Michael I can hear your whine from the kitchen. Dinner isn’t going to cook it fucking self!”
Ladies and gentlemen, you might want to give Carl a gift and an award! The man is truly a miracle worker.
Meanwhile, Gus and his momma were still hugging, kissing and telling each other how much they loved each other. After squeezing Mel one more time, Gus decided it was time to say hello to Jenny. He loved Jenny a lot, but momma was his favorite person in the world. Just like Daddy!
“Momma, I want to cuddle Jenny!”
When Gus saw daddy holding Jenny he started screeching happily! Contrary to his poker faced daddy and “prim and proper” mommy, the little boy wore his emotions on his sleeve.
“Come here Sonny boy.”
Ted moved over a seat and Gus happily sat next to his daddy. Brian carefully put Jenny in her excited brother’s arms and it was time for the second love fest of the night. Gus peppered his giggling baby sister’s face with kisses and told her about all the toys daddy bought. The little girl was definitely not understanding a word, but fuck me Brian thought, she really seemed focused on what her brother was telling her, intently looking at him and giggling at all the right moments.
“Well lambskin, you don’t seem eager to come hug your mommy. I guess you didn’t miss me as much as you missed momma and Jenny.”
“Your mother is right Gus, you should come and kiss her!”
Brian cuddled his Sonny boy to his side but stayed silent even though he was dying to say something. He wanted to see how Mel would react to her bitchy wife and father of the year’s parental attempt.
“But…”
“Michael! How many times do I have to tell you that you’re not supposed to address my son unless I give you permission? You don’t get to give my boy orders! He’s not your son and I don’t appreciate at all your attempts at playing doting uncle! Linds let him enjoy a moment with his sister! It’s not like he’s been here for an hour or is ignoring you on purpose!”
Mel didn’t disappoint Brian who was actually enjoying her inner ball breaking bitchiness directed to someone else. He even had to admit that she was never this angry at him. Well, her speech could use a couple fuck bombs but she was probably avoiding the word around the kids.
“Mel, I don’t think you’re being fair to Michael. He’s been a fatherly figure in Gus’ life since he was born.”
Ted was on his feet dragging Emmet outside in a flash. People tend to see Emmett as a flamboyant queen forgetting that this queen had flamboyantly survived in the Bible belt. Tonight was not the right moment to remind the professor of this tiny detail.
Mel looked over at Gus. He was now softly singing to his sleepy sister and not aware of the bitch fest.
“Ben, my son has a father thank you very much. He doesn’t need a fatherly figure, not that anyone would consider your wayward husband a fatherly figure.”
“Then why did you pick him to be your daughter’s father?”
Point.
“I won’t be the first woman to have a one-night-stand with an idiot. I’d rather keep it at this and trust me, you don’t want to push me on this issue.”
Ouch!
Jenny was now fast asleep. Mel took her off Gus, gave him a kiss on his head and took her upstairs. Instead of putting her in the bedroom Michael was using again, she made a point of putting her in Deb’s. She turned the baby monitor on and went back down. Gus was now on daddy’s lap and the whole family was silently fixing the living room’s entrance where Justin, Ted and Emmet were standing encumbered with shopping bags.