“Sunshine!”

You don’t need me telling you that Sunshine found himself in a bone crushing Debbie hug. When he tapped on her back to let her know that he was two seconds away of asphyxiation, she released him and started checking him up.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in New York? Well after not having you around for a week, fuck New York and fuck Andy Warhol! Did you call your mother?”

“Pardon me Debbie, but you don’t know what you’re talking about!  Your skills aren’t really in the arts domain one might say. I’ll be surprised if you knew the difference between Andy Warhol and Andy Griffin.”

Lindsay was apparently begging for a real slap. Had she been one of boys, she would be holding her bruised cheek now.

“Well fucking excuse me if I don’t know enough about fucking dead painters miss Mona Lisa!”

“Euh Lindz, it’s actually Griffith”, Justin piped in with a smile.

“What?”

“It’s Andy Griffith not Griffin! Unless you’re talking about some mentor of yours us common mortals haven’t heard of. Excuse me.”

Justin slipped by an infuriated Lindsay and a still indignant looking Deb.

“So what are you doing here boy wonder?”

Deb couldn’t slap Lindsay but she definitely could slap her idiotic son. So she did.

“Ouch maaa, that hurt!”

“Good!”

Justin sat next to Brian and gave a giggling Gus a kiss. Gus loved it when grandma Debbie hit uncle Michael. He deserved it for being mean and pouty. Momma had explained to Gussie that he shouldn’t pout but explain why he was cross and listen carefully to what the adults tell him. He was allowed to still be crossed deep down and then tell momma about it, but he shouldn’t pout. Uncle Michael was an adult, he should have learned not to pout a long time ago. Momma also said that Gussie was cute when he pouted. Uncle Michael looked like a dead fish. Gus was thankful Jenny didn’t look like her daddy. His sister was going to be a beautiful girl not a mean pouty one.

“Sonny boy I need you to clap your hands and say that you have good news to tell the family.”

Gus clapped his hands and stood on Daddy’s lap.

“Daddy says I have to tell you the good news!”

“What good news lambskin?”

Melanie shot her wife a quick evil glance. Lindsay was irritating her lately every time she spoke.

“Daddy and Jussin got married in California. Now Jussin is my other daddy. Daddy said Jussin is my papa.”

Debbie charged ahead, pushing Michael who had just stood up to whiningly object to the news back into his seat, and enveloped a still seating Brian and Justin in a huge hug. Gus who was still standing on daddy’s lap got caught in the hug too.

“Congratulations kiddo! I am so happy for both of you. Fuck New York if I may say so! Did you tell your mother?”

Now that innocent little question was one hell of a tricky one.

“We actually had lunch with my mother and our lawyer. Joshua was nice enough to bring all the financial and business documents we needed to sign. Debs, mom wanted to call you. I had to wrestle the phone out of her hand and Brian made her promise she would let us tell you.”

“You could have come earlier to tell me. And listen here you little asshole.”

Brian jokingly hid behind Gus from the flying finger.

“You are going to have a party. I want to celebrate you getting fucking married. Now you can be a good boy and throw a sleek black and white party or I can throw a fucking rainbow party which you will fucking attend.”

“Yes ma. Emmett will be planning it for us. Sunshine here will get the party he wants.”

Now that Debbie had made sure a party was going to be held she took a seat and let the other members of the family congratulate the happy couple. Carl, Ted, Emmett and Mel kissed their friends and wished them a happy marriage. Mel tickled Gussie jokingly asking him when he started keeping secrets from his momma. Gus squirmed to get away from the tickle monster and gave his momma a big kiss. Ben offered his best wishes from the couch. It goes without saying that neither Lindsay nor Michael were good at remembering their good manners when confronted to news they didn’t approve of.

“We got everybody gifts! Momma we bought a lot of toys and matching pajamas for me and Jenny but daddy said it’s better to send them directly to our house. Uncle Ted gave daddy the key and all the gifts are now waiting for us. Oh and we got Jenny a lot of pink dresses with ruffles. Just like the princesses. I picked them. She's going to look like a baby princess.” 

If Melanie had a problem with the pink dresses she hid it well. Yeah, the pink dresses were already giving her nightmares but she wasn’t about to ruin Gussie’s excitement.

“Brian, Justin thank you!”

“Daddy can we give them the gifts now?”