CHAPTER 16 - IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, BREAKFAST, LATE LUNCH AND DINNER

MEL

“Brian, stop fiddling with…with your wedding ring on the end of that suddenly acquired chain.” They exchange looks before he starts to pull it out. “Please don’t. I’m so glad you did it. Who else knows?”

“The boys, Lula and Ems.” Justin replies. “If…” Before he can finish, the Lindsay looney toon sinks our hearts. “You going to answer?”

“Yes. Hi, Lindz, look I can’t stop, have to pass in the…I’m happy that you two are…what’s Michael asking? No, absolutely not, I don’t know what time I’ll be…if you let me finish speaking you’ll find out why I can’t grab some things from the grocers!” I scream. Brian scowls and a livid Justin actually sits on his hands. “I have to pass for my meds, then I’ve got a conference call with Daphne to discuss her T&Cs. What does Loretta have to do with our conversation? She's not going to be her assistant, so she’s got no reason to be on the call with us. Lindsay, I have to go to the pharma…no I’m not in the office, I had a…well Loretta's assistant was obviously sneakily reading the wrong diary, I have to go!” 

“What’s it gonna be?!” We turn to an almost sulphurous Lula. “You gonna go grey with her or go grey because of her?! Jesus, if my wife heard that I was in pain and focused on the wants and needs of her mithering muckraking ballsack of a dear friend and a jealous busy bodying boulder dyke, then she would not be my wife!”

“It’s bulldyke.” I wobble, taking the tissues from her as she sits.

“No it ain’t.” She smirks. “Now whatever is cooking in your head, Justin, use it as a distraction.”

“Must work on poker face with you.” He kisses her cheek. “Go to our doctor.”

“For what?” I sigh as I finally succumb to our relationship reality.

“Your endometriosis, get it sorted out now.” Brian asserts. “Since the boulder dyke’s bloodhound is sniffing around, let’s keep it between us. And when we come to the announcement then there’s one less delaying tactic they can use.”

“They?” Justin frowns.

“You think Mikey won’t interfere or want to play goddaddy?” He grimaces. “Or even worse, offer to be dad for you instead? Letting Lindsay have their dream of me and my wallet.”

“Do you have engagement rings?” Lula tops up my glass. “If not, get them, then announce it at dinner…”

“I wondered what they were whispering about.” I grouse.

“Yep, they want to have us over for dinner…” Brian’s kiss is so tender that it breaks my heart that our level of intimacy is long gone. “…and that will give you a chance to twist that artist knife of yours twice.”

“Artist knife? Wait a second, you said you knew where he was.” I look between them. “Did you go see him, were you ever going to get him?!”

“Yes and yes; but I came to claim him first.” Justin brushes his cheek. “And you’ve got another place to go to, no matter what happens.”

“Oh where?!” I demand.

“Our other house, it’s behind this one.” I look at Lula who smiles fondly at them . “I will give you a key.”

“I’ll put it on the ring for the park.” I decide, Justin looks puzzled. “Brian has given me the key to Hazure Park, a place I can go to escape.”

“Hazure Park? Where’s that?”

“Ah yes, gotta give you all the keys to that. Remember when we had our first picnic?” 

“That derelict overgrown dust bowl with a swamp for a pond? Yeah, the sight and smell alone sometimes haunts my dreams.” His grimace makes me smile. It turns to amazement after Brian hands him his phone. “This is beautiful, this can’t be the same place?”

“I fixed it up so that you would always have an outside…ummmf!” As Justin plasters himself to his mouth and body, we make a quiet exit.

LULA

“Come on, gonna set you a bath.” She takes my hand. “Honey, even Atilla the Hun rested, whilst you’re soaking I’ll do your room.” I nod. “And he rested quietly, give me your phone!”

EMMETT’S HOUSE - EARLY EVENING

LOUNGE

BEN

“You need help?” I look up at Emmett; he’s standing on the table. He takes another quick glance then clambers down. “Should imagine this place has a few.”

“Then you will have to come around more often and save me from the mus domus.”

“You know Latin?”

“Yes, and...are you cold?” He frowns. “Or are you leaving?”

“Just stepping out for a second. Why don’t you open the wine?” I nudge him towards the kitchen. I wait for the door to close before heading towards the garden. I giggle quietly at the wriggling that the mouse, which caused the screaming and leaping, is doing. As I open the door, I’m surprised at how dark it’s gotten. I can’t let it out in this.

“Benjamin Bruckner, can you be any more wonderful? May I see properly?” I open my hands, the mouse uncurls and looks up. “He’s cute in a vermin kinda way.”

I look around the small porch and spot it. “Hand me that box…” He takes his time lining it with paper. “...I know you want a cat, so we can put it out in the morning.”

“We?” He blinks. “This implies that either you are taking him or me home with you. Let’s put the mouse in the house.” 

“Ah, Friends, that’s one of my favourite episodes.” We watch it get settled. “I will get some water, do you have dried fruit?” 

“Indeed, follow me.” Ten minutes later, I’m back in the lounge, pouring the wine, he’s bringing in nibbles. “So Friends then?” I frown. “Are we going to watch it, have the entire boxset.”

“Oh, please!” I grin. Once he sets up, he drapes my arm over his shoulder and covers us with the afghan blanket. “This is so nice, where’s it from?”

“I made it. Am a funny, smart, cute, nelly bottom who is good with his hands.” I adjust us so that we're lying down, he rests his chin on his hand. “May I kiss you?”

“I insist.” I pray that only the head attached to my neck comes to this game. I feel his sigh when our lips meet, then can’t help but stir when he puts my hand on his tush. As it deepens, I realise how much I’ve wanted to kiss him, and honestly, if I hadn’t wanted to piss Justin off by getting with MichaeI, then I could’ve had this instead! I push him gently, he looks confused. “I didn’t realise how much I fancied you till now.”

“Oh well, isn’t that lovely; fancy means a whole lot more than like!” He beams, resting on his hands. “Continue.”

“Not before my ego gets stroked thank you!”

“I’ll stroke a lot more than that if you let me.” He sits up slightly. “After breakfast, we need to spoon first, oh the TV in my room is set to National Geographic. I know that’s boring but it helps me…woah! Benjamin! What are you doing?!” 

“Taking you to spoon! Grab the wine, that’s my favourite channel.” 

OUTSIDE THE DINER - FOLLOWING AFTERNOON

BRANDON

Thinking back to our first night and the lunch we’ve just had makes me smile. The sex was great, especially topping each other.  The next day,  he called to ask me about Michael and Brian’s relationship. I was puzzled as I thought the best person would’ve been Ben, but he wanted the viewpoint of someone who knows both Ben and Brian intimately…I regretted my honesty at that one. 

Happily we talked for ages about everything but that; I was bewildered by the gift bag containing a mouth guard and recommendation for Percocet. Turns out that I grind my teeth very loudly in my sleep. He told me to make sure that both were packed for the weekend, we’ve got a breast vs thigh cook off on the Saturday; the winner gets a massage at Sewickley Spa on the Sunday. I’ve got to sort out what we're doing on Monday, as that’s a public holiday. As I watch him walk back to his office, it strikes me that I’m totally fine with that!

“You’re not paid to rubberneck on Liberty Avenue!” Michael’s snotty tone kills my joy. My retort is stopped when Braydon snakes an arm around his waist. “Hi, Bray, on time as always. Do you want to go in?” He squeezes his arm and strokes his cheek, whilst looking down his nose at me. 

“This guy bothering you?”

“Not me, my best friend. He’s some kind of flunky or gofer in his company who keeps slacking on his duties. Said he shouldn't have hired him.”

“You can only tell a person so much. We’ve got to plan our first date.”

“Yes we should. I know you’re going to tell Ben about this, but it’s really none of his business or yours. Bray, Ben is the jealous ex I told you about.”

“Tell him to leave him alone, understand?” Braydon drawls.

“Hang on…” I lean against a car. “...hey, Kinney. I would be working but I got held up by your supposed bestie and his new squeeze; they were most insistent that I give Ben a message. So when he wakes up, can you tell him to stop calling? You will? Great.” I hold Michael’s gaze, his gurning shows what he can’t voice, oh how I’m enjoying that! “There. Happy?”

“Very. Seems he’s moved on like you have, Michael, so hopefully he’ll find the happiness he couldn't find with you.” 

“I’m sure he will. Michael knows how happy Brian makes a guy.” I smirk. “Gotta go earn my crust, such a hard, very hard taskmaster he is.”

As I head down the street, I chuckle at two things, the four times that Braydon tried to get Michael’s attention and the text he sent in the interim; ‘you gonna tell him about us or can I? Enjoy your date - one of us has to’

MEL AND LINDSAY’S - EVENING

KITCHEN

MICHAEL

I’ve yet to have a chance to speak to Brian about earlier. He’s been on the phone since the end of dinner. “Trouble at work?” I ask Justin, who looks puzzled. “Brian seems tense, has Brandon been neglecting his duties?”

“Not a work problem.” He replies, continuing to stack the dishwasher. “Where’s the soap, please?”

“Where else would it be?” I snipe. “In the cupboard under the sink obviously.” 

“Why would it be obvious? It could be anywhere. You live here, know where it is, but I’ve never seen you stack it.” Mel bristles, shoving me along. “There you go, Justin. Michael, add that to the shopping list.” Although I’m pissed at her snottiness, I do as she asks. “You’ve been a grouch all day, what's wrong with you?”

“I’ve not been a grouch. I’m trying to navigate my enforced singledom; what with Ben and Brandon being difficult it’s a tough time for me. Besides, if anyone’s being a grouch, it’s been you since you got in. You never told us where you were.”

“Want to navigate your singledom from a hotel?” She growls. I grit my teeth at Justin’s smirking. “Well, do you?”

“We were worried when you didn’t come home!” I explain.

“She was perfectly safe with us.” Brian drawls, pausing to rub Justin’s fat ass “Haven’t you finished playing Stewie Homemaker yet, Sunshine?”

“Yeah.” He leans against him. “All sorted?”

“Yep. Where’s Lindsay?”

“Here, sorry everyone, Sidney was talking my ear off. Let’s go and sit down. Mel, can you bring the wine?”

“Michael can. I doubt he lifted a finger today. I had to order the takeaway, set the table and clear it because he was either in the bathroom, fake making a call or trying to start a fight.” As they file out, she leans against the counter. “Tray’s not going to load itself.” 

As I take out the wine, she curses. “Now what? You wanted wine, it’s wine.”

“Justin brought champagne, so we're having that. Get the flutes and make sure you polish them first.”

LOUNGE - TEN MINUTES LATER

LINDSAY 

Justin has been on a call since we sat down. I’d put the documents I need him to sign in front of Brian, but he’s ignoring me and them. He just leers Justin, who is smiling wider and wider. His nickname should be Schlubber not Sunshine! 

Michael looks annoyed as he and Mel enter, she has all three bottles of champagne. When we saw them, Michael and I vowed that we would have one for ourselves, relishing the idea of celebrating us being back in Brian’s life with it.

“It’s quite late, I don’t think we’ll drink all that, let me put one back.” I smile at her.

“None of us are working tomorrow.” Justin declares. “We’re celebrating, let’s get them opened!” In minutes, all three corks have been popped and glasses filled. “So, to new beginnings. I can’t wait to start working with Sidney and Leda.”

“You’re kidding?!” Mel squeals, launching herself at him. “She never said a word!”

“She wanted me to tell you.” Justin laughs. “So shopping, Brian?”

“What’s Leda doing?” Michael frowns.

“Something you should be…” Mel sneers. “...working.”

“Excuse me Justin, I don’t follow; why are you, Leda and Sidney meeting?” I demand.

“To see if he can host a couple of the artists I manage. Remember, Ben mentioned that at my second welcome back dinner?” I smile and nod at the arrogance of the pompous parvenu. “The hardest one to sell may be Sam Auerbach…” I put my glass down “...he’s a bit of an enfant terrible!”

“A bit!” I gasp. “So when do we start?”

“We? Well I guess Sidney will let you know. I don’t get involved in that side of…” He’s looking at my present above the mantle. “...where did you get that?!”

“Brian gave it to me for my birthday.” I raise my glass to him, he returns the gesture.

“You got this?” He stares at him. 

“He paid ten thousand for it, very generous.”

“You say generous, I say worn down.” Mel mutters.

“Ten thousand? When? And why did you want it?” 

“A couple of years back.” I’m enjoying his jealousy. “As to why, because I loved the lines and passion of it all. What’s your um, artistic opinion?”

“It’s not worth ten grand. Why did you pay that?”

“Jesus, so rude! What Brian spends on Lindsay is none of your business, his money, his best friend!” Michael snipes. “Maybe you should switch to water?”

“I’m not being rude, Michael. Given our history, I wouldn't have thought you’d want a piece of my work, Lindsay. You seriously overpaid, that was priced at $8,500.”

“P-pardon?” I stammer, ignoring Mel’s smirking…for now. “It says Quereau Lockwood.” 

“My second middle and godmother’s maiden names.” He tops up their glasses. “I’m giving you the $1500 back.”

“No you’re not.” Brian asserts. “I paid what I wanted to pay for it, and…”

“Brian…” I temper my tone. “…did you know that this was one of his pieces?” 

“No. Does it matter now?”

“No, no of course not.” I declare. “So…”

“I would change the frame. Artistically speaking, it jars, personally speaking it’s ugly. Whoever chose that must have been ripped, drunk or both!”

“Lindsay likes it!” Michael’s red faced. 

“She tends to like things you do.” He returns. “What do you think of it, Mel?”

“I agree, the one I chose is still in my office - but they wanted that one.”

“Who’s they and can I see it?” 

“Lindsay, Michael and Dusty, and one second!” 

I’m humiliated, how didn't I recognise this as one of his pieces?! How he must have enjoyed the praise I heaped unknowingly on him! As Brian tosses the folder in the magazine rack to the side of the sofa, I just want to scratch his eyes out!

“Well what do you think?” Mel holds the frame up.

“What were you thinking, Lindz? Let’s get it swapped!” Brian orders. Ten minutes later, it’s rehung without our help. “What are you going to do with that, Michael?”

“Take it to his room and make a collage out of his comics!” Mel giggles.

“I won’t.” He huffs, then looks at Justin. “Speaking of comics, now that we're all friends again, let's talk about Rage. Who do I need to speak to get the order? You or Ted?”

“Blake. And go there with your distribution proposal. The last guy that pitched up without one lasted three seconds. He’s a very tough and protective negotiator.”

“I’d rather deal with you.” Michael keeps smiling, though it’s slipping.

I really feel for him. We’ll be in the same boat come Monday; I will be trying to persuade Sidney to let me join them. Once I do, I will spike his enormous ego, whilst shining a light on my qualities. And, for Dusty, I will keep an eye on Leda, see who she’s slutting about with. 

“You don’t always get…why are you still down there?” He laughs at Brian who is looking at Michael’s frame. “Does it get prettier up close?”

“No. However, since, like Michael said, we're all friends again, will you marry me, Justin?”

“What?!” Mel gapes.

Michael and I are poleaxed as he takes out a Tiffany box. 

“No.” Justin stops looking like a guppy.

“No? What do you mean no?!” Mel shrieks.

“To Tiffany.” He sniffs. “He said if he ever got married, that he would design it.”

“Christ, you remembered that?” He gets off his knees, their kiss turns my stomach. “I know, Lindz, you got some paper? I do the engagement, and you do the wedding?”

“Perfect.” He gurns up at him. “Just perfect.”