Justin sat across from the fellow student he had met only a week before, and tried not to show how nervous he was.  This was their second meeting outside of the school grounds.  The first time followed an invitation for Justin to visit Ethan at his apartment, supposedly just to discuss a sketch Ethan wanted of himself for a CD cover.  Justin was intrigued by the idea of having his work professionally utilized.  It would be his first venture into a profitable artistic future.  The apartment was a small single room with a tiny bathroom, along with a compact kitchenette in one corner.  The only thing prominent in the room was a large king-sized mattress on the floor.  It was set up with a short loveseat on one side, and a folding table with two chairs on the other.  Nothing looked new or particularly valuable.  Justin felt certain that Ethan was living on a shoestring budget.

The meeting at Ethan’s apartment was successful in one way.  The two young men agreed on a reasonable price for a sketch of Ethan, then Justin was prepared to leave.  That’s when things got a little sticky.  What had started out as a strong suspicion that Ethan was flirting with him, turned into full-blown knowledge that this was exactly what the violinist was doing.  As Justin was turning to depart, Ethan took hold of his arm, stopping him from leaving.  Justin turned back, a puzzled look on his face.

“What’s up?  Did we forget something?” he asked.

“No.  I think we’ve covered everything… everything involving business, that is.  I thought you might like to stay for dinner.  I make a mean spaghetti and meatballs, if I do say so myself.”

There was something in the way Ethan spoke that told Justin more than what was being said.  He suspected that Ethan would like nothing more than to make Justin his after-dinner dessert.  Once again, Justin felt a brief moment of satisfaction at being wanted by someone, as he had when first meeting Ethan.  But as before, Justin also became aware of feeling like this was somehow a betrayal of Brian.  He mentally kicked himself.  It was his own choice to step out of Brian’s life completely.  He didn’t have the right anymore to feel anything concerning Brian, let alone betrayal, for the man who didn’t even ‘know’ him.  But the feeling was there, nonetheless.  He simply wasn’t ready for any connection to another man yet.  He didn’t know if he ever would be.

“I… uh, well, I wish I could.  I mean, it sounds inviting, but I promised to have dinner with some friends,” he lied.  “Maybe another time,” he added, seeing the disappointment on Ethan’s face.

Before Justin left they agreed on the second meeting, in order for Justin to begin his sketch.  And now here he was, alone again in Ethan’s apartment.  He sat at the small table with his sketch pad and pencil in hand.  Ethan sat on the second chair with his violin propped against his chin, bow in hand and fingers placed strategically on the strings.  The pose began bothering Justin.  Ethan looked more like a lifeless statue than the passionate music maker he had witnessed at their first meeting. There was simply no inspiration to create with what Justin saw in front of him.

“Ethan, I can’t capture the true you, if you just sit there like a lump on a log.  I need for you to play for me… you know, like you were doing the day we met.”

“Do you want me to play the same song I did then?”

“Yes!  That would be perfect.  You are a different person when you are playing that piece,” Justin answered.

Ethan winked at Justin, got up from his seat and stepped up onto his mattress.  He closed his eyes tightly and began playing his personal composition again.  Within seconds, Justin could see a joy flooding Ethan’s body.  His movements had magic in them as the music flowed from his fingers.  Justin began sketching.  This was the musical artist that had first captured Justin’s attention.  Justin’s fingers moved rapidly as he sketched each line of the face and figure he saw before him.  He was nearly finished, when he looked up once more towards Ethan’s face to check on the features one last time.  He was startled to see that Ethan’s eyes were wide open and staring straight at him.  The music was still flowing, but it felt as if Ethan was also talking to him with his eyes.  The feeling caused Justin to feel uneasy all over again.

Justin quickly looked back down at his sketch.  Yes, he decided, he had all he needed.  The only thing left to do was take it back home and work on perfecting the rough draft.   He flipped the cover over his sketchpad, and started to slide it into the case he used for carrying his art supplies.

“I think I have what I need to complete your drawing,” he informed Ethan, still not looking the violinist in the eye.

“Are you sure?  I could stand here and play for as long as it takes”

“No, really, I’m finished.  I’ll take the sketch back home and give it the finishing touches needed.”  Justin stood up, preparing to leave.

“Do you really have to hurry off?  I’m still prepared to fix that spaghetti dinner I promised you.  It would be my way of thanking you for taking on this job for me.”

Justin hesitated.  He didn’t really need to hurry off.  He had nowhere special that he needed to be.  Yet there was still that nagging feeling that he would be somehow disloyal to Brian if he accepted the invitation to spend personal time with Ethan.  He knew it sounded ridiculous.  Even the Brian he knew and loved before the bashing would probably not object to Justin spending time with another man.  After all, he had told Justin often enough that he didn’t do boyfriends, and they were both free to have sex with anyone else, if they wanted to.  Justin mentally shook his head at the thought.  What was wrong with him?  It isn’t as if Ethan had invited him to fuck.  It was only dinner.  But, that didn’t seem to matter.  Justin simply wasn’t ready for any kind of involvement with another man.  Not yet.  He quickly made his apologies, promised to have the completed drawing ready ASAP, and left.

Outside Ethan’s closed door, Justin leaned against the wall and tried to steady his nerves.  He couldn’t go on like this… feeling like shit just because someone was obviously attracted to him, and that someone wasn’t Brian.  Thinking of Brian brought the now familiar feeling of loss he kept feeling so often since the day Brian came out of his coma.  And with that, came the even stronger urge to see Brian again… if only for a minute.  But no, he couldn’t give in to that.  He owed it to Brian to leave him alone.  He must never forget all the pain he brought the man he loved… never!

****************************************

Brian had first thought about paying a visit to Justin Taylor at his mother’s house.  But after some consideration, he changed his mind.  He was aware that he was supposed to be quite familiar with Jennifer Taylor, but he could only remember seeing her that one time at the courthouse.  They hadn’t spoken at all.  The thought of ‘meeting’ both her and Justin at the same time was a little too much for Brian to feel comfortable with.  He felt that meeting Justin ‘for the first time’ should be on a more neutral ground… a place such as Justin’s school.  Debbie already gave him Justin’s class schedule, which she obtained from Jennifer.  He would wait for Justin to come out from his last class of the day.  Hopefully, the young man would agree to go for coffee somewhere they could talk.  And if nothing else, Brian knew he could always make a fast retreat if their meeting didn’t go over very well.

It was for this reason that Brian was now sitting on a bench, not far from the front doors to the building that Justin’s last class was in.  He tried not to be too fidgety, but he couldn’t help himself.  Once again, he felt confused by his own reaction while waiting for Justin to come out.  The thought crossed his mind that he was acting like a stupid schoolboy, waiting for a secret crush to appear.  That was so out of character for him that it could only be described as ludicrous.  Then again, the feeling made Brian even more curious about the young man.  What was this strange hold that Justin seemed to have over his emotions?  Brian knew he was finally ready to find out, so he could move on.  He just wanted his old life back… the one where he didn’t give a shit about anything or anyone, except for a very select few he’d known for years who were just like family.  Besides that, he was getting tired of having his dreams invaded far too often.  It was always in a disturbing way that he couldn’t grasp once awake.  Intuition told him that Justin had something to do with that too.

As he sat, trying to imagine how his meeting with Justin would work out, he watched students of all ages entering and leaving the building.  Not one had the face he was looking for.  Brian was about to give up and leave his spot on the bench when the door opened again, and he finally spotted Justin stepping out of the building.  He stood up and started to move forward to intercept the young man before he got away.  That’s when he realized that Justin was not alone.  He was walking beside another young man, who had his arm flung around Justin’s shoulder as they walked with their heads close together.  They were looking down at something Justin was holding in his hands.  Once outside, they came to an abrupt halt.  The other man released his hold on Justin, and the two faced each other.  The other man kept pointing to the thing in Justin’s hand as the two talked animatedly about something.  Brian was too far away to hear what was being said.

Suddenly the other young man slapped Justin on his arm, while letting out a loud laugh.  Brian saw Justin return the laugh with a big smile.  Whatever they had been talking about obviously pleased them both.  It happened again.  Brian felt the odd sensation that he could not remember ever feeling before his bashing.  If he hadn’t known better, he would call it a moment of jealousy.  What was wrong with him?  Why should he care if Justin gave such a bright smile to someone who, for all Brian knew, just might be an old friend he had known for years?  Whatever was causing this troublesome feeling in him, Brian no longer felt prepared for a confrontation with Justin.  He was about to turn away towards the parking lot on the side of the building when he heard his name called.  He turned back around.  Justin stood a little distance away with a look of utter surprise on his face.  For a moment the two men just stood there, staring each other down.  Justin was the first to move.  He hurried over to where Brian stood, leaving a bewildered Ethan behind.

“Brian!” Justin breathed.  “What… I mean, why are you here?  I thought at first that I was just imagining it was you.  But here you are.”

“Yes, here I am.  Look, I’m sorry.  I know I’m supposed to know you quite well, but… well, I know who you are, of course.  I did see you at the trial for that asshole, Chris Hobbs, but I… I just can’t remember anything about you.”

“Don’t apologize.”  Justin sounded distressed.  “It’s not your fault.  If anything, it’s my fault.  If you hadn’t attended the dance after I invited you, this terrible thing that stole your memories would never have happened to you.  I would never have asked you to come if I had known that Hobbs’ hatred for me would end up hurting you.”

“Look, kid… I mean, Justin, the only one to blame for what happened to me was that bastard, Hobbs.  I’ve heard enough stories to know that he is simply one sick puppy, who should be put down.  The fact that he wasn’t by that idiot judge doesn’t change the facts.  But look, I didn’t come here to talk about blame or stupid shit like that.  I came so that maybe I could get to know you a little.  Apparently, everyone who cares about me thinks you were important to me and I’d like to find out why.”

Brian stopped, seeing the look of surprise, followed by something akin to relief, in Justin’s face.  Before Justin could say anything, Brian continued.

“But it looks like I may have interrupted something,” Brian pointed over at Ethan, who looked none too happy at losing Justin’s attention.

“Oh, that’s just a fellow student.  I was hired by him to sketch his portrait for the cover of a CD he’s making.  We were just talking about the project.  We can do that anytime.  Would you like to go somewhere that we can talk?” Justin asked, not bothering to hide his excitement.

“Sounds like a plan, if your friend doesn’t mind my taking you away from him.  He looks a little pissed right now.”

Justin looked over at Ethan.  Brian was right.  Ethan certainly did look irritated, but it didn’t matter.  Brian obviously still didn’t know who he was, but for Justin, just the fact that he wanted to get to know him was enough.  Nothing was going to stop him from trying to reconnect in some way with Brian, knowing now that Brian wanted it too.  He’d make short work of re-scheduling a time to meet with Ethan about their project, because Justin had something much more important to do now.

To be continued………….