BLAKE

Why the fuck am I still here? It’s more than obvious where Ted wants to be, and with whom. Meanwhile Diane keeps calling me and I still can’t go to see him. I was going to ask Ted to go with me but instead he blew our vacation- time we set aside to go visit my family- to go on that fucking escapade Michael suggested. He knew I couldn’t go there by myself; he knew it was much too painful for me to face them on my own and yet… It doesn’t even matter anymore.

The funny thing is I can understand Ted’s attachment to Kinnetik. A busy mind stays off getting high is a motto he lives by. I can respect that, but what about me? Sure, I work long hours too but I always at least try to make time to spend with him. He used to, but doesn’t anymore. Like I said, work isn’t the problem per se, it’s that all his free time is also filled with everyone else… meaning the latest crisis in the Michael Novotny Tragedy of Never Ending Dramas. I mean, where does Ben fit into Michael’s life if he’s always running Teddy, Em, and Brian down? I have a feeling that if Teddy and Em didn’t show up, Brian wouldn’t either. It’s like the three of them have become a crutch for each other just to deal with Michael’s addiction to Brian Kinney. He can say what he wants. Addiction takes on many forms, and Michael Novotny has been an addict since he was fourteen. I don’t know how Justin has put up with it for as long as he has. But maybe that’s about to change too.

God, I really hope not but I’ve seen the looks of discontent Justin has been wearing lately. It’s the same look I sport in the mirror after I’ve planned something with Ted but he’s called away again. Sometimes I wish I could just take Ted’s phone and chuck it, get the numbers changed and never tell anyone. That’s how bad it’s gotten. Last week while our partners were away, I’d gotten to know the guys pretty well, especially Drew. What’s funny-but not funny- is that we are all going through the same problem, including Ben. The rest of us, I can kind of understand, but Drew can have any man he wants. And he wants Emmett. I remember trying to call Ted to have Emmett call Drew but who else but Michael answered the phone, saying that it was partner-free week for a reason and that Ted’s phone won’t be available to him for the duration so I should stop calling. Then he hung up the phone while I fumed on the other end. I swear, if I knew where they were staying, I would have driven there just to kick the little twerp’s ass. But I did hear the music reminiscent of Babylon in the background so I guess he was having a grand old time with his best friends.

Don’t get me wrong… I love everything about Teddy, from the way he irons his boxers to the way he plays opera while crunching numbers. I simply love him. But I don’t like him right now. I still can’t believe he told me to leave Michael alone but has yet to address him for speaking to me as he did. Double standard much? Well I’m sick of it! I don’t have to live like this anymore. I have to find time to go see Gramps. That’s the first thing I have to do. Maybe one of the guys can go with me, so that I can see Gramps and get the hell out of dodge before any of the family realizes that I’m in town. He and Diane are the only ones I still speak to. It’s a shame that I can’t depend on my partner because he’s too busy being leaned on by an insignificant idiot, but that’s the way of things.

I pick up the phone to call Drew just as Ted walks in. He tries to say something to me but I just frown and look away.

“Hey, it’s me. Can you come and pick me up? I need to ask you for a favor too. Can you take a few days off? Good. I’ll see you in a bit.” I hang up.

“Who was that and where are you going?” Ted asks me, accusation clear in his voice. Ordinarily I would do anything I could to reassure him but right now, I simply don’t care what he thinks.

“None of your business Ted. I’m sure you have plenty of other things to keep you occupied while I’m gone.”

“Where are you going?”

“Apparently, you tuned out the answer I just gave you. Now if there’s nothing else, I have to pack.”

“Blake…”

“No Ted, just no. Don’t ‘Blake’ me, especially not now. I’m leaving; I don’t know when I’ll be back. I would say that I would call you but I’m sure your warden won’t give you the phone if I do so…”

“You’re still pissed about that? Blake, Michael didn’t mean anything by it.”

Silence.

“Blake?”

I roll my eyes and resume my packing. As far as I’m concerned, this conversation is over for now but the urge to get high and forget is really fucking with me to the point that I’m near tears. Thankfully, my phone rings to get me out of the thought before I make another stupid decision. The first one seems to be getting involved with Ted again.

“Yeah. I’ll be right down. No more than a week I guess. Are you sure? Okay and thanks again.”

“So you’re going to be gone for a week?” Ted asks me.

“What’s it to you? You were gone for a week.”

“Blake…”

“Goodbye Ted,” I utter as I move passed him with my luggage in tow. “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.” I slam the door behind me. Normally I would feel some remorse. But right now all I feel is anger one minute, hurting for a hit the next second, and then empty after that. What the fuck am I going to do?

I get downstairs and find that Drew called a car service for us. “I figured that neither of us were in the mood to drive tonight. Plus airport parking can be a bitch. So you’re finally going to see him?”

“Yeah, I have to. I just don’t want to see the rest of them beyond Diane. If I can get in and out of there without them knowing, I’ll be incredibly happy.”

“Maybe there’s a way but let’s see what greets us when we get there okay, my friend?”

I feel the tears well up in my eyes as he embraces me. I have longed for just a hug for what seems like forever. I’m glad that Drew and I have become such good friends. “I have to call Justin before we get on the plane.”

“You should. He’ll probably want to make some arrangements before we arrive there. Don’t worry Squirt, I have your back. They’re not going to be able to touch you with me around.”

I laugh at the nickname Drew and Ben have taken to calling me. It feels good to have actual friends. I feel a bit sorry for Ben in all of this but he has some decisions of his own to make regarding Michael. None of us can tell him what to do because we are all biased when it comes to Ben. He’s a good man and a lot of fun when Michael isn’t around and he isn’t feeling threatened. I hope he makes the right decision for himself in the end.

We pull up to the gate and after checking in enter the lounge area for first class. I pull out the phone and call Justin to let him know that we’re going. He tells me that he’s at the William Penn waiting for Alex and Brian. “Why that hotel?” I ask, knowing that he knows why I’m asking.

“I want to know the same thing. But in the meantime, you keep in touch with me and tell me what you need. When you get there, have the limo take you to the Four Seasons. I’ll book you in the suite Kinnetik uses all the time. It’s an added benefit of being part owner of the company. It’s a two bedroom so there’s plenty of room for both you and Drew.”

“Thanks Justin,” Drew tells him. “You keep in touch with us too, okay? I don’t like the idea of you sitting at the bar by yourself in that hotel. If there was any way I could be there with you…”

“It’s okay Drew, I know. But at least the bar is fully stocked with a bunch of liquid courage. I have a feeling I’m going to need it. Call me when you get there. I’ll text Ben to let him know and don’t worry Blake, I won’t spill unless I’m asked where you are directly, and neither will Ben. I doubt either of us will be where any of them can ask us anything. I’m staying out at the house and Brian is staying at the loft so you don’t have to worry about me telling him.”

“Are you two splitting up?” I ask in shock that they will be staying in separate places. I can’t remember a time they did unless one of them were out of town or when Justin was with Ethan. But that was years ago.

“Not yet, but I just can’t live with him right now. I don’t want to.” Justin’s voice broke then and I could feel his agony over the airwaves. Based on Drew’s reaction, he could too.

“Don’t worry about it Sunshine. Things will work out as they’re supposed to. I think we all have to believe that in the end, don’t we?” Drew tells him. “Now in the meantime, have a few of those Maker’s Marks for me.”

“How did you know I was drinking that?” Justin asks, amazement clear in his voice.

“You’re pretty predictable where drinking is concerned. Partying- depending on your mood- it’s either tequila, margaritas or Beam, in a mellow mood you’re drinking JW Black, but when you’re pissed, depressed, or nervous, you’re guzzling Mark. I’d imagine sitting there you’re all three of the latter.”

“Yeah I am. But enough about me. You guys have a safe flight and keep me posted. Also Drew, my security team will be in place once you arrive in Palm Beach.”

“Will do,” he says, just as the phone disconnects.  

They call for our flight and I know that whatever awaits me in Florida will still be easier than what I will come back to.