Date: Sep 20, 2016 3:04 am Title: Chapter 5: AS WE LAY: Justin
I found this story and am very glad that I have. It has so much emotion and made me feel for both Brian and Justin. My anger for Michael and Lindsay probably will never change though. I don't think anyone could write that moron in a good light, it wouldn't be believable lol.
Its nice to see that Brian and Justin both seem to know that they each screwed up and that they miss eachother.I hope Justin ends it with the fiddler soon. You just want to give them a good shake to wake them up so they can communicate their feelings.
Justin said to himself that the fiddler wasn't enough for him and he wasn't happy with him and he said that Brian wasn't enough for him. What is enough? He wanted Brian to validate his place in Brian's life even if he didn't say that he loves him. He could of said that he wanted him to stay, which is what he did tell Brian in the other chapter. And Justin wanted him to stop tricking. Will they have "the talk" about all those things? Will it take a lot Longer? Will Mikey and good old Lindsay get their just Desserts?
Do you know how many chapters this story will be?
Author's Response:
Hello Toni! Thank you for reading and commenting on this!
I agree with you about your assessment for Michael.... I could never write a completely 'Michael-friendly' fic. In fact I think most of the patrons of my work would actually start checking for the Headless Horsemen of the Apocalypse if I did, LOL That said, there is a sure-fire reason why this isn't tagged A-M or A-L but it's going to take awhile to be revealed.
Yes, Brian and Justin know that they were wrong and each had a major part in their break-up. It's going to take asking some very specific questions and facing some very hard truths about themselves before they can be put back to rights. In the meantime though, they are going to be thrown together more and more often- both in bed and out of it- so it will definitely make for some interesting reading.
I'm not sure at this time how long the story will be. It has grown exponentially from the 'one-shot' I originally had in mind to another multi-chapter journey with corners, forks in the road, some one-way streets, some lonely highways and stopping places along the way. I hope you continue to enjoy the ride!!
happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 19, 2016 5:05 pm Title: Chapter 5: AS WE LAY: Justin
Wow........what a weekend for reading.
This story is so emotional. If feel for both of our boys. different emotions at different times. I can empathize with each of them. I get Justin's anger. At Brian, at Michael and Lindsey...at himeself. I get Brian's frustration, his anger and his volitile emotions. Justin has the ability to make him feel so much and he both loves and hates it. His main sourse of venting those emotions is though sex. Preferably with Justin. ;)
Hopefully Ethan will only be a blip and a very short one at that. His clingyness in just this past chapter is already annoying. How far will he go to hold onto, or least try to hold onto Justin?
these last 3 chapters were such a mix of emotions. The sex was hot, but yet....I felt a sense of melancholy within myself, knowing that nothing has been fixed between them yet. Brian's comment, "just go...you always do" broke my heart. I could hear his despondant voice clearly.
I'm curious if he will do anything about Michael and Lindsey? Will there be any immediate repercussions due to Justin's tirade? I have to say, after that big reveal, I can't blame him for feeling the way he did. Brian not standing up to those 2 and standing up for Justin must have hurt Justin terribly. It would only reinforce his own misgivings. while I don't agree with the way he went about it with Ethan, I can understand the need for some emotional empathy from him. It's obvious the lack of communication is a major flaw in their relationship. I can only hope that they are able to get around this. Perhaps Justin's tirade will help to start it off.
OMGoodness. I know you just gave us 3 beautiful chapters, but I can hardly wait for the next one...and the next one...etc. :)
Thank you soooo much!
Cheers,
Elaine
Hey Elaine! There is still a ways to go with this fic. You are right that Brian and Justin solved nothing. They will eventually get some more insight about why they fell apart but it will take time. In the meantime we know what Justin has decided but Brian is a different matter- at least in terms of their non-relationship. But there is another situation that Justin has to deal with- Michael. The fact is that Justin may not want Brian's help but he's getting it anyway...LOL In terms of Ethan: Hmm....can I just roll my eyes and suck my teeth at him now? I guess not....smh Anyway, just to give you an idea of how Ethan really is in terms of Justin I have to ask...have you ever imagined what Michael would have been like if he had actually gotten the hoped-for-relationship with Brian? Yeah, I too am making myself SICK with this scenario! I'll have to put a stop to it soon....but not too soon, LOL More Coming very soon!! Happy Reading and HUGS, ~Nichelle
Author's Response:
Date: Sep 19, 2016 12:53 am Title: Chapter 5: AS WE LAY: Justin
Thank you for getting back to me. I agree and understand everything that you said. Just one thing about the show. Yes Brian would never hurt Justin on purpose and that he would always do what he thinks is best for him with out ever consulting him or asking him, hence the Kinney Cliff. Yes he did ask Mel and Lindsay if they had see Justin at the rage party because he was looking for him for a fuck or for whatever reason. You said that it's so that Justin would look for him and find him tricking which Justin was having a problem with. I don't understand how that could of been a setup from Brian. Brian didn't know when Justin would be talking to Mel and Lindsay because the girls weren't told to go and find Justin. So how would Brian know when Justin would go to the back to find him tricking. Brian was already tricking when Justin caught him, but he could of been finished by the time Justin came. He couldn't of known what time Justin would make it to the back or what time the girls would have given the message to him. It was dumb luck. Not planned. Just Brian being Brian. What do you think on that ? Brian saw that Justin was upset, when Brian left the back room and and found Justin and took off his mask he felt bad and gave Justin a tiny smile because he knew that Justin was going to choose there and then. Brian wanted him to choose Brian but was prepared to let him go and not fight so he could be happy. But he was upset and hurt when he actually chose China Rather. What are your thoughts on that.
So that line about Justin never having the balls to correct his knowledge about not giving up on us was about him not telling Brian his feelings of what he told michael?
I forgot to tell you that please don't forget that story Lion and the Stud. I never read stories that are WIP. I usually wait for the completion and yet with your stories, I can't seem to put them down. As an added bonus you rock with anti Michael anti Lindsay. Lol
LOL! First, thank you for the compliment of my work. It's appreciated more than I can ever say! Secondly, you're going to have to read the story to find out what I (or more importantly what this version of Brian and Justin) think in terms of the entire Rage arc. Much of that entire story line was open to interpretation and all I can say is that we all may or may not view the events leading up to Justin leaving with Ethan the same exact way. It doesn't make us all wrong in our assessment but subject to speculation and innuendo. For someone like me- a writer with entirely too much imagination- it makes it easy for me to spin different scenarios and tailor-make a plot to support my theories. It's why I LOVE writing in this fandom! Happy Reading and HUGS, ~Nichelle
Author's Response:
[Report This]Date: Sep 18, 2016 11:48 pm Title: Chapter 5: AS WE LAY: Justin
'After last night, all I know is that I can't do without him' . . . Very telling! So is the fact that Justin didn't return Eyeore's I Love You! More please. TAG
Author's Response:
LOL!!! See Brian even has you calling him Eeoyre!! LMAO!
Definitely MORE coming soon!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Chelle
[Report This]Date: Sep 18, 2016 9:04 pm Title: Chapter 4: SOMEBODY ELSE'S GUY: Brian
Ah, that feels so much better. LOL! TAG
Author's Response:
LOL! And so begins the seven-year itch...Well maybe? It might be longer!
More Soon!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Chelle
[Report This]Date: Sep 18, 2016 8:45 pm Title: Chapter 3: CRY ME A RIVER: Justin
Well, that's one way to win an argument. TAG
Author's Response:
LOL! Is there really any other way?! HA! Not in my world!!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Chelle
Date: Sep 18, 2016 8:41 pm Title: Chapter 5: AS WE LAY: Justin
Girl I got chills reading these last few chapters. Ethan doesn't even have a clue that his relationship with Justin is basically over.
Author's Response:
So happy that i was able to thrill you, Tamara!! These two are FIRE!! Ethan is definitely clueless but then again that's what he gets for only seeing what he wants and never looking at the bigger picture.
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Chelle
Date: Sep 18, 2016 7:59 pm Title: Chapter 3: CRY ME A RIVER: Justin
J'adore quand Justin dit ses quatre véritas à Brian. Et j'aime encore plus quand Brian n'a plus qu'une soluion pour le faire taire.
Justin et Brian toujours pousser chaque autres boutons dans juste la bonne manière ! Je pense que Justin entendu Brian haut et fort cette fois... ~Nichelle
Author's Response:
Bonne lecture et les embrassades,
Date: Sep 18, 2016 3:07 pm Title: Chapter 5: AS WE LAY: Justin
I really need more. Can't wait to see thier randez-vous. hehee
Author's Response:
Hey my Rody!!! Thanks so much for joining me on this one too!! Brian and Justin are in for one helluva ride!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
[Report This]Date: Sep 18, 2016 2:38 pm Title: Chapter 5: AS WE LAY: Justin
Two chapters. Wowza. Now what decision will Jurstin make? Whiney Ethan, yuck.
Author's Response:
Good morning, Phyllis!!! Yep, got caught up in ADLS last night and couldn't stop until it was done! Justin is in the process of redefining himself and his life so all of his decisions will be based on that. Whiny Eeyore...I mean ETHAN...Fuck Brian even has me saying it! LOL He is like Michael would be if Brian was so inclined to make Michael's childhood fantasy come true. In a word... YIKES!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
[Report This]Date: Sep 18, 2016 2:29 pm Title: Chapter 4: SOMEBODY ELSE'S GUY: Brian
Did he have to be so rough. Of course he did, he's Brian Kinney. But what will the reprocuptions be. He's marked Justin. Will Justin still refuse to take the money? What will Brian end up doing about Mikey and Linz?
Author's Response:
Hey Phyllis!! LOL@ 'rough.' Yeah, even though Justin may have forgotten how to read Brian, Brian still remembers everything about Justin.
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
[Report This]Date: Sep 18, 2016 2:29 pm Title: PROLOGUE... AT THE END...
This has great potential...just the type of story I need to read. =)
Date: Sep 18, 2016 1:20 pm Title: Chapter 4: SOMEBODY ELSE'S GUY: Brian
"I fucking hate him right now but I love what he does to me" Perfect! God that was so hot! Again again, do it again! lol
Justin cried....oh God!
Author's Response:
Shine,
Trust me when I tell you, these two will be doing a whole lot of THAT again!! Brian is in this place where he may not be completely honest with others but he definitely is with himself.
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 18, 2016 12:56 pm Title: Chapter 3: CRY ME A RIVER: Justin
Omg I love all the passion! Go Justin! Go Brian! Get it boys! So happy there was 3 chapters in a row! Yay! Your writing is the best!
Author's Response:
SHINE!!!! Thank you so very much! I always loved the passion between them. They are just pure fire when they get together.
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 18, 2016 9:55 am Title: Chapter 4: SOMEBODY ELSE'S GUY: Brian
PS. I really enjoyed your Time Volumes 1 and 2. Will you be posting more on 2?
Author's Response:
Thanks for the comment Stacy. I'll try to address a few things without giving away too much. I ask that you bear with me and remember that this is 'Alternate Canon,' and 'Alternate Universe' and a splash of 'Canon.' That said, it won't follow canon-based guidelines to the letter but hopefully will be engaging enough that you could see all of this happening.
The reason Justin said, 'The hardest part of loving someone is letting them go and be happy,' is because he also realizes that with one look, one touch and one word, he and Brian could have gone on living the way they were....Sex and Silence. So his turning and leaving was admitting that he was tired and couldn't fight the situtation anymore. He knew that he got pushed off Mt. Kinney and just didn't have the strength anymore to climb back up just then. Plus consider all of Michael's 'That's not Brian' speeches and it will explain just what Justin felt in those final moments of my version of the 'Rage' party.
You're right that Brian wouldn't intentionally hurt Justin but he will ALWAYS do what he thinks is best for Justin. Hence the reason for the Mt. Kinney push toward 'Ian.' He actually did 'ask' Lindsay and Melanie if they had seen Justin (that part is in the show) so that when Justin went to look for him, he would find Brian doing what Brian does which at the time Justin wasn't happy with the tricking. Brian wasn't aware of all that was said from Justin's point-of-view to Michael. He was ONLY given the bit about Justin cheating and not WHY which was most important. But again, remember this story jumps in and out of canon events so this is partially the way I saw things and chose to address. I actually think things may have been better if let's say Michael saw it but also someone else like Ben or Emmett, Vic or Deb- someone without something to gain from the breakup and have only the best interests of Brian and Justin at the forefront- had seen it too. Perhaps then things wouldn't have seemed so harsh and cold in the end. I'll be addressing this again in the SOWK series which is also Alternate Canon.
As for your question about Vol. II, I am definitely continuing but it's taking awhile. The last chapter in and of itself is very involved and will be just about novel length. The same is happening with Mr. and Mr. Taylor-Kinney. There is a lot of loose ends to tie up in Volume II so hold on to your seat with that one!
Thanks again for reading and reviewing this story!! I'll update this and all my other WIPs again very soon. These characters are always cooking up chaos and I have to go with their leading to make sure their 'stories' get told the way 'they' want. It takes time but I hope that it is all well worth the wait!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 18, 2016 9:40 am Title: Chapter 4: SOMEBODY ELSE'S GUY: Brian
I read a few chapters and I really like this story. I had to reread the first chapter, it's full of emotion. I understand that Brian didn't give Justin what he needed which was validation of the importance in Brian's life. They both of course had a major problem with communication. If Brian had given him that then Ethan probably wouldn't of happened. But Justin was also at fault. I didn't get about Justin saying that that the hardest part is freeing him and making him Happy? How did he think Brian wasn't happy. Justin is the one that cheated. He and Brian had only to talk to each other. Such a simple thing to avoid all of what happen. But of course that would be to easy. At least Brian knows that it was his fault to. That they could of avoided all this crap. That Justin said in the other chapter why Brian just didn't tell him that he wanted him to stay when he told him it was his choice to make, back at the loft. That 8s so true!
In the show Brian told Justin at Babylon when they made the rules that the bat was the reason that he asked him to move in but that wasn't why he wanted him to stay, and Brian told Jennifer after the bat that he cares about Justin so why couldn't he tell Justin that he cares if he leaves, when Justin asked would you care if I wasn't here,when they were at the loft having that conversation.
The other thing about the show, at the rage party when Brian told the girls to tell Justin I was looking for him. I never thought that Brian was setting him up so he could find him fucking Rage. That was Brian being Brian. I don't think that he was intentionally hurting Justin realizing that he would re:his bashing or trying to get him mad. There was no way that Brian could time when Justin would be talking to the girls and go to the back room to find him, Brian wasn't waiting for Justin to start fucking rage. He didn't send the girls looking for him. So I think that Brian was being his self and getting his needs met. Maybe Justin wasn't around when he looked for him and being that he was drinking and only thought of himself and not thinking about the bashing ect. He fucked rage. What do you think?
Also the show When Brian took the mask off he showed hurt in his eyes and a slight smile he wore as to tell Justin that he cared. That was the moment that Brian knew that Justin has to make his choice then. Him letting Justin go was him not fighting for him or telling him if he's not happy that he can go.
At least in your story Brian and Justin knows what they should of done, and could of done so that wouldn't of happened. That they should of talked. And Justin knows that what's on the other side isn't always better, and what he had before with Brian was more. Brian knows the parts that his so called friends played. And that Brian andJustin knows they made a mistake. Justin is unhappy with Ethan and now that he wants to be away from him,time till himself ,I hope that he takes that as a realization that he should get rid of Him? To bad Vic and Jennifer doesn't help get these two back on track. Brian already admitted to him self that he made a mistake and that he wants Justin, that he is his so I hope he doesn't waste a lot of time.
In chapter 4 where it says "And Justin never having the fucking balls to correct my knowledge, about him giving up on me, us,yes I can admit that there was an us, only to my self, and he should of known" Does that mean that Brian feels that Justin should of told Brian that he wasn't giving up on them and that Brian thinks that he should of known that he cares and are in a relationship with out having Brian to say it?
I loved that line "Maybe I can exorcise the demon of constant want and climb out the pit of loneliness our fucking stupidity and silence threw us into. Fuck!" It sums it all up that they made stupid choices. Sorry for the rant, but I had things that should of been addressed in the show that I think that you might in the story. Lol I couldn't sleep and couldn't put your story down. Waiting for more.
Date: Sep 18, 2016 9:06 am Title: Chapter 5: AS WE LAY: Justin
What a treat: 3 chapters to read this morning!!! Thank you, thank you!
Justin's introspection is really interesting and he finally takes THE decision; I hope Brian won't fight against it, even if I doubt that he will. How, when and where will the real reunification take place?
Sorry to read that Justin's nightmares are back; it can't help him feel good, but so happy he fights Ian's honey words (baby, partner, I love you) which must seem pale in comparison of the silent "words" of Brian from last night.
Author's Response:
Hey Claire!! Good morning Darling!!
It gripped me good last night and I couldn't stop writing!
Justin has a pretty heavy decision, especially since he's now seeing the value of an open relationship vs. what he was taught to believe. He's in the process of redefining what he wants in all areas of his life and that is extending to what he had vs. what he has now. Ethan is....whew! Ever have that disgusting vision of what Brian and Michael would be like in a relationship? Yep, Justin and Ethan relationship is EXACTLY that! And extremely hard to write without cringing, LOL!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 18, 2016 6:44 am Title: Chapter 4: SOMEBODY ELSE'S GUY: Brian
Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!! Burning HOT!!!!!
Brian needed to make a statement the only way he knew with Justin. It was as the first time, but with the desperation behind and the knowledge of their bodies, needs.
I love how Brian doesn't want to crash Justin's trust and wants to mark his body and his soul.
I hope he succeeded and that things will move forward quickly.
I was so happy to see a new chapter after leaving a comment on the previous one. Thank you for the quick update.
Author's Response:
Hey again Claire! Brian definitely needed to make THAT particular statement! They will each have some heavy decisions to make when it's all over.
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 18, 2016 6:03 am Title: Chapter 3: CRY ME A RIVER: Justin
Amazing chapter. So many unsaid truths are now out and the tension is so high... We can feel it through your powerful words.
I really can't wait for the next one!!!
Brian is reacting to the "fuck you", but I also want to know what he will say about Rage. Well, once they have filled the void built during the last months...
Author's Response:
Thanks so MUCH Claire!! I'm so happy everyone is enjoying this story! Once Brian and Justin clears the air between them, it will be time for them to make some decisions going forward.
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
[Report This]Date: Sep 18, 2016 5:57 am Title: Chapter 3: CRY ME A RIVER: Justin
Well I for one am glad that Justin finally came out and told Brian about Mikey. I'm even glader that Brian isn't going to let him get out of going to school. Somehow I think that Justin is going to be putty in a short while.
Author's Response:
LOL! Yeah, Brian has the necessary 'tool' to make Justin... flexible to his will, LMAO!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 15, 2016 1:57 am Title: Chapter 2: WHEN I WAS YOUR MAN: Brian
Mikey’s in trouble, I love it. It was something else that always puzzles me, why was Michael in charge of the comic? Maybe I'll think of a reason. Can't wait for more.
Author's Response:
Hey Star!!! I'm so happy that you are enjoying my insanity while taking a small break from your own. Justin initially let Michael have charge of the comic because of two reasons: 1. It was Michael's dream and 2. Justin was working and going to school full-time. The problem with that is he trusted Michael to do the right thing by him knowing that he had expenses of his own. To Michael's mind, Justin has Brian so there's no need for him to have anything beyond what Michael chooses to give him. I think Michael tends to forget just how intelligent Justin really is despite his age. That lapse in memory will be a very costly mistake.
Happy Reading and Writing (Girl, I LOVING TSOOL so MUCH!!),
~Nichelle
Date: Sep 14, 2016 7:54 pm Title: Chapter 2: WHEN I WAS YOUR MAN: Brian
Oh my ever loving Jesu H. F-ing christmas!!!!!!! #rd paragraph in and I want to have a smack down with Michael. You always portray him just right for me. LOL.
Now...that chat with Lindsey?! WTF?! Seriously?! So glad Mel is getting filled in properly and that she'll be on the right side of things, at least on a legal perspective. I always felt that she'd get along with Brian quite well if it weren't for Lidnsey's intereference and manipulations. She and Michael are in a WORLD of shit! good to know that both Brian and Mell will be driving forces in the fall out. Did either of them really think that Justin would just let them screw him over. If nothing else Brian and Ted would let the gang know what the hell was going on.
Michael is so not concerned about Brian and his absences. He's concerned about himself and his place with Brian. He's concerned about his own financial situation...He's concerned about himself. full stop. typical selfish little shit. We all know he's not going to pay attention to Brian's warning of staying out of his business. He's going to try to raise more and more shit. Ben may soon be at the end of his rope. Sadly, I'm really not sure Michael will really give a shit, except how it affects him financially.
Am so thankful that you continue to share these great stories with us. I know your brain is working on the next installments to the other ones. Happy to have yet another story to keep us entertained while you set your devious plans in motion for the other ones. :)
cheers,
Elaine
Author's Response:
LOL! You have Michael and Lindsay nailed to a tee. Their 'concern' for Brian always came with a heavy dose of egocentricism. The way both of them see it is that now that Justin is out of the picture, Brian can and will start doing for them again no matter what they ask. But what they aren't prepared for is that not only is Brian, Mel and Ted onto them but Justin is too! And that little Blond Brainiac is dangerous when he's angry. They seriously betta watch their backs...LOL
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Chelle
Date: Sep 14, 2016 4:11 pm Title: Chapter 2: WHEN I WAS YOUR MAN: Brian
Love Brian still looking out for Justin even after the Fiddler. TAG
Author's Response:
Me too!! That always touched me about their dynamic. The confrontation between B&J is up next. Things should get really interesting from there....LOL
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Chelle
Date: Sep 14, 2016 1:06 pm Title: Chapter 2: WHEN I WAS YOUR MAN: Brian
Really enjoying this story. Love a strong Justin and a more reasonable and protective Brian. Justin owning his own vehicle, having a PO Box, setting up a website for Rage. This level of independence is refreshing. Good to see Brian learns of Michael and Lindsay's machinations! And Lindsay replacing Justin as the artist for Rage? Ha! great plot twist but seriously don't think she has the talent.
So glad that you are enjoying this Koalared!! I've always thought that Justin was a strong man. He would have had to be to survive Brian Kinney and all the other emotional upheaval that had come his way in canon. Not only that but he had a way of humanizing Brian that I absolutely loved. so I write him that way. He has a major independent streak even with Brian, which I think many of the people around them missed (demonstrated with the whole Sap arc). In any event, I think of him and Michael as polar opposites so when writing I would say 'What would Michael do?' and then do the complete opposite which makes Justin easy to write for me, LOL As for Lindsay.... SMH... There is no getting around the fact that she wants to 'BE' Justin in every way possible, which includes but is not limited to having Justin's talent. She and Michael will learn that the creation of Rage is MUCH harder than they thought when they don't have Brian and Justin to lean on. Happy Reading and HUGS, ~Nichelle
Author's Response:
Date: Sep 14, 2016 11:32 am Title: Chapter 2: WHEN I WAS YOUR MAN: Brian
Oh wow! I can't believe that Lindsay and Michael would stoop so low.
Author's Response:
LOL! Neither could I but then again, these two know all about living vicariously, don't they? If Brian didn't feed their addiction, Justin did, constantly imagining themselves in his place at Brian's side. However, at the same time there was major jealousy of Justin from both of them and now that Brian is also pulling away from them... well let's just say that desperation makes strange bedfellows!
Happy Reading and HUGS,
~Chelle