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Reviewer: BritinManor Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Mar 15, 2024 8:15 pm Title: Chapter 36

Oh, Kerri! I just reread this story. I'm so saddened it has came to a halt, but I definitely understand real life can interfere. But I'll still be waiting if it is ever updated.

<3 ~Cathy

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jan 28, 2022 7:35 am Title: Chapter 36

As I wrote in the first review, a friend of mine warmly recommended this story to me. And while I've vowed to never get involved in unfinished stories again, I'm so glad I did in your case. It was so worth it! Your story is just so incredibly good, fantastic! You are so talented! This story is just perfect. You only changed mainly two small details: Ethan was just a good friend and Michael said those vile words directly to Justin and not to Brian. But with these changes you have shown convincingly how all of Justin's experiences in S1 and S2 could have developed. I don't want to be misunderstood, I love Brian, but he was often cruel to Justin and in their "relationship" or whatever it was, there were just so many things that were unsettled. It's actually a miracle that Justin survived all this in the series so almost unscathed. Your story is so much more realistic and convincing. You touched on so many events or behaviors that I feel have been neglected on the show or treated even carelessly. And at the end Brian dances in Babylon as if Justin didn't exist. Pathetic. In your last chapter (for the time being) they dance together - an ending that I would have wished for in the series. Not married but together, content, happy. The closeness you describe here is so wonderful. It's almost like a final chapter to a first season. That's why I'm not sitting there now being sad that this story isn't finished, because for now you leave us readers with a happy smile on our faces. And yet, of course, I sincerely hope that you will come back someday! Of course one want to know so many things. What happened to Tommy and Roman? What happens in your story with Stockwell? Because this time it's not just Justin who will be vehemently opposed to supporting this man. I can't imagine Brian and even Gardener being in favor of taking him on as a client. And of course - what's next for Brian and Justin. What I've missed a bit in the last few chapters is Alex, who found out three weeks ago how this "You stink. Go for a shower" experience affected Justin's psyche. Since then he surely has had therapy sessions with both Brian and Justin. I can't imagine that this topic hasn't been addressed. I really hope that you will continue to write at some point! But for now, thank you so much for this wonderful story and all the best for you!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 28, 2022 5:48 am Title: Chapter 35

Even if I get the feeling that Lindsay means it honestly and also regrets her behavior, I'm sorry, I just can't stand her. I honestly think it's cheeky that she took Gus to the playground when it was agreed that Mel would take him. And then she sits there and watches them both the whole time. It's like going to the zoo. No idea. In my opinion she kind of ruined the carefree time Justin wanted to spend with Gus. If I were Justin, that would have removed me further from her, but with this short greeting he shows that he seems to have more strength of character than I have... ;-)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jan 28, 2022 5:40 am Title: Chapter 34

This story is just amazing. Unbelievable good! Every chapter, every sentence, every word... "mine" That suits them so much better and also fits Brian's character. And no one else will know what is meant when Brian says that one word to Justin. This is so ridiculously romantic! I love it! You made me smile so hard! And I love that careful, slow process of how they get closer and closer and the mutual trust is built more and more. And while Justin still has his doubts, like I said, they're on the right path.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 28, 2022 5:28 am Title: Chapter 33

Ah, beautiful! I'm so happy for them. The continue on the path they have taken. And all the positive experiences will give Justin strength and help him to rebuild confidence in himself. It's in his kiss! "Can I take you out for dinner?" - So happy for them!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 27, 2022 8:49 am Title: Chapter 32

Ah, what a wonderful liberating chapter! A real turning point for Justin! At first I was scared, because you portray his conflict so wonderfully. The conflict to keep believing in the positive things, to believe in yourself or to let yourself fall back into the negative depressive thoughts. And one thing has also become clear, he can only do this himself. Of course, seeing how others saw things that happened can also help him. Hearing that other way of looking at things. But he himself must have the will to get out of it, to find himself again. And it seems he has that will now! love this story so much and thanks for sharing it with us!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 27, 2022 7:25 am Title: Chapter 31

What a beautiful chapter! Finally they talk to each other, listen to each other, understand each other, accept each other. And after all these events, the only way for them is in my opinion to get to know each other again. And I love that thought that "I love you" isn't enough to describe Brian's feelings for Justin. I agree, but even that Justin needs to know first to understand it. ;-) "He'd caused that smile. He'd caused the laughter he could see dancing in Justin's eyes." - Beautiful! I wish them lots of such moments together! But... somehow I felt like Justin downplayed his experience with this trick. He has a really serious problem here and I think at some point he has to deal with it, it will come up. and after all, Brian still doesn't know the full extent....

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jan 27, 2022 6:21 am Title: Chapter 30

At first it seemed like Michael had finally learned his lesson and he was on the right track. Why he then runs straight to Brian with this "new" information...no idea. I think it would have made more sense to go to Alex and tell him... But at least he's finally respecting Brian's privacy and using the doorbell instead of the key. I never understood that. I don't want people just walking into my apartment, even if they're my best friends. While I don't like the way Michael behaves here, as if he knows Justin, I do agree on one point about: "You don't use tricking as a form of punishment against them. You don't use their feelings against them". And I've written this many times, Brian has often used sex as punishment or to show Justin his place - and that is in my opinion an absolute no go. I'm curious how Brian will react when he finds out what this experience has done to Justin.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 27, 2022 6:02 am Title: Chapter 29

Oh Justin! This was one of the absolutely saddest chapters so far. I really hope he doesn't have any internal injuries, but since you didn't mention that again, hopefully he'll be okay about that. This reminds me so much of one of my other favorite Conzieu fanfictions in which Justin also experiences mental rape at the hands of Brian. Brian still doesn't know what damage he's done. And the saddest thing is, of course, he wanted to hurt Justin, but I don't think he realized what he was doing with such careless, disrespectful and cruel treatment. Here in your story Brian's reaction is even more baseless, but even on the show I find it so disrespectful, so cruel. Because even if Justin cheated on Brian, it doesn't give him the right to treat another human being like that after he's treated Justin himself so many times disrespectfully and cruelly and carelessly. Now he will also reach the bottom.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 26, 2022 9:21 pm Title: Chapter 28

Wow, another amazing and intense chapter! Another small step, another approximation. The things Brian said at the end of the chapter were so important, their tears were so important, that was a start. I like this picture: "I didn't have strings attached to my body that you controlled, Puppet Master" - because that's how it often was. Justin didn't let it all out enough in my opinion and Brian still had a long way to go, but it's realistic that this all can not happen in one therapy session. After reading the next chapter immediately after this one, I got a better understanding of my feeling - he didn't get all the damage and his true share of it. I was wondering how Brian could be so astonished by Justin's doubts that he cares. Justin mentioned only a few moments here, there were lots of others where Justin was deeply disappointed, hurt in private or public or just plain hurtful rejected by Brian (the hustler for the birthday, the picnic...). So yeah, I can totally understand Justin not telling Brian about Sap's party. And damn it, can he still not say it? Why did he say he cares instead of simply "I love you"...

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jan 26, 2022 7:11 am Title: Chapter 27

Everytime Alex says "Justin" or "Oh Justin" my heart breaks a little. And this chapter shows that it's absolutely necessary that they talk!!!! Brian means well, but everything he is doing, his actions, are interpreted differently or incorrectly by Justin because as I wrote before, how could he believe otherwise after everything. And also Brian still hasn't grasped the full extent of the damage...

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 26, 2022 6:58 am Title: Chapter 26

"he knew him well enough to trust him with what Gardner considered to be his most beloved creation" - At that moment it was clear, that Gardener is Tommy's father, but the name Vance hadn't caught my eye before. Ah, that was a wonderful idea of ??yours! And what a great father he is... Jeez, how sad somehow allthough I'm happy for Tommy. But comparing Tommy to Justin, he has everything that one would wish also for Justin. A loving accepting father, a loving and sincere friend in Justin and maybe even a "normal", kind and hot boyfriend with a "normal" best friend!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jan 26, 2022 6:47 am Title: Chapter 25

The scene you describe with Mel is absolutely beautful! All those little positive encounters will hopefully help Justin to have trust again, in himself and in his friends.

While reading this chapter I got the impression that Brian and Justin again heading in the wrong direction, because they are heading in different directions. Brian told Justin that he wanted to be his friend. Sure, we all know that he loves Justin madly and is working on himself to finally allow these feelings, fighting hos own demons and he has already taken some steps in the right direction. But like I said... How is Justin supposed to know that or how is he supposed to believe that. It's even worse at the moment because he thinks Brian "just" wants to be his friend since he doesn't believe in Brian's love or in love itself anymore. They have to finally talk. Sure, maybe actions speak louder than words, but Justin needs words now because he hasn't had them before and Brian's actions weren't exactly glorious either until a few weeks ago. There were a few positive actions but there were also so much more hurtful actions - any normal person has to get depressed and start doubting themselves or break. They need to talk! And I hope Justin agrees to a therapy session with Brian and Alex soon.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 26, 2022 6:32 am Title: Chapter 24

Hi! And, another great chapter! Okay, we don't know from QAF how Craig was during Justin's childhood. It always seems as if he were a great Dad, but to be honest, how could a Dad or a parent change from one moment to another so much just because the son is gay? I will never understand... So, yeah, somehow it makes sense that Craig was they way you describe him here... Sad, but true...

"Where else would I be" Oh, Brian, that's not enough. Justin can't read minds and how should he understand or believe after everything that happened. "Im keeping the monsters away" - Beautiful!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 25, 2022 10:34 am Title: Chapter 23

Thanks for another little break, some light-hearted stuff. I'm happy for Tommy and I'm glad that it was the second thought I had about Roman ("of course it would be great if there was just someone normal who just had feelings for Tommy..."). Ah, so cute, those messages between Roman and Lucas. Reading this, comparing it to his Highschool time I feel so sorry for Justin. I mean, of course, I will always want Brian and Justin being together, but... I feel sad for him that he didn't experienced something like a Highschool crush...

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jan 25, 2022 10:24 am Title: Chapter 22

OMG, one step forward, two backwards. But I really didn't expect that. I was really hoping that things would slowly, slowly go uphill. Jeez! Jennifer. How could she? She should have spoken to Alex first. He would have known if Justin was ready to hear this or how to proceed. How stupid!

Ethan really is such a great friend! After talking to Brian, he knows that he really loves Justin and hopes that Brian can help Justin.

"you can't fix him.  Justin has to be the one who fixes himself" - totally agree. I don't have a lot of experience with depression, but it's not so unsimilar to addictions. You can't help a person addicted to alcohol, they have to take the step on their own and live with the disease for life.

"you showed me..." ahhh, my heart breaks... Justin also showed Brian so much more...

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jan 25, 2022 8:16 am Title: Chapter 21

And again a perfect, painful but also beautiful chapter. I love your portrayal of Sam and Ethan so much and thankfully Justin has made such loyal loving friends. This talk, especially between Ethan and Brian, was important for mutual understanding. And I don't know why some sentences touch me more than others. So, as I said, almost every chapter is written so powerfully, so intensely, sadly, devastatingly and almost every sentence, every word moves me, but this sentence brought even more tears to my eyes "I took him to this little deli near your loft and he has his last one Money spent on food and wine."

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jan 25, 2022 8:00 am Title: Chapter 20

Your story is so perfectly written and so painful to read. Who wouldn't break down at that age after all these experiences. Craig, Chris Hobbs and the bashing and the effects, Sap's party, the gossip and other people's disrespectful remarks, Brian's public and private humiliation, Michael's vile words, his "friends/family's" behavior after the Rage party and and and. And then being nearly on public display without being asked - luckily Brian was able to prevent this. "I'm his partner" - if only he had said that more often before... Oh wow, and a tiny little approximation - so beautifully written!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 25, 2022 6:04 am Title: Chapter 19

*breathing* For me, this chapter felt like a little respite, a little break. ;-) A few positive things are happening. Michael finally seems serious about it and starting therapy (though I imagine Ben had a hand in it, but who knows). And it's wonderful how Emmett manages to build a tiny bit of trust in Justin. An important step in the right direction. Emmett is just a good soul and I always felt that he could be the closest thing to be a real friend to Justin. He is honest and the most authentic in my opinion. Beautiful chapter!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jan 25, 2022 5:50 am Title: Chapter 18

Thank whomever, that Michael's not there - there should be just people involded who really care about Justin! And when Ethan starts to tell... it's so heartbreaking. Oh what am I writing, it's all so heartbreaking...

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 24, 2022 11:13 am Title: Chapter 17

Wow! What an indescribably fantastic, painful, heartbreaking, shattering but also liberating chapter. "Rock bottom. Once you hit it, the only way you could go was up." Justin shows so much strength here, it's indescribable! "I was so used to hurting" - This whole chapter is heartbreaking but this sentence... I don't want to write anymore because my review couldn't do your chapter justice. This chapter is just perfect! Thanks so much for writing and sharing this unique story with us!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 24, 2022 8:57 am Title: Chapter 16

Ah, I like this new addition to Justin's little new family. Tommy seems to be a very kind and lovely guy. I have a bad feeling about this Roman and I hope history doesn't repeat itself here in any form. Of course it would be great if there was just someone normal who just had feelings for Tommy...

Oh, Debbie, my goodness, she just can't let it go either. But well, it's probably hard to break long and old habits...

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 24, 2022 8:31 am Title: Chapter 15

Another small step in the right direction...

"He'd gotten 723 in Verbal/Writing when he had taken his SATs, and Brian damn well knew that - he'd laid Justin out and made him tell him all the different ways you could say fuck, sex, and cock while you had a vibrating plug in your ass and was having your cock sucked." - haha And although this is a very painful, intense and challenging story, you also manage to make me laugh/smile at times. It's so Brian Justin-ish

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jan 24, 2022 8:22 am Title: Chapter 14

Interesting to get a little insight into Brian's thoughts and it's another small step in the right direction that Justin is contacting Brian. They talked too little to each other on the show and kept too many things from each other. As I've written before, a lot of the so interesting storylines weren't finished in my opinion, were left open and you always wondered if the other person found out or not. But it was a TV show and it wasn't just about Brian and Justin...

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jan 24, 2022 7:54 am Title: Chapter 13

OMG how intense, how heartbreaking, how painful! What an amazing chapter! How fortunate that Brian was with Alex right now. He knows Justin and knows so well what he needs in those moments.

"You think you stalked me? I'll show you fucking stalking." - haha, yeah Brian, fight for your man!

That moment when they looked eyes for the first time. So beautiful. And even if it was just a short moment, it will maybe give Brian strength to fight and hold on, because the old Justin's still somewhere inside there. And even if it wasn't much, it was a start. They communicated for the first time. Regarding the daily nightly visits of Brian at the hospital - I really don't understand why Jennifer never told Justin. And I totally understand that this information doesn't help Justin at the moment an even makes him more angry. But this was a start and it's good that Justin at least agreed to talk to Alex again!

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