Date: Dec 07, 2019 9:46 am Title: Chapter 15: Finding the Horizon
Hi again! One step a time... and a few backwards... There were so many beautiful and happy moments in the last few chapters that I almost forgot how sick Justin really is. I think every one of us knows these days, when you don't want to get out of bed or you wanted to do so much more than you did at the end of the day. And in the evening you are dissatisfied with yourself. But hey, that's only one day. I find the idea really terrible that it could go like this every day. And Brian is so sweet, so patient. I mean, yes, he's worried so much, but he has no expectations of Justin, he doesn't push, no pressure, he just loves him, he just tries to be there for him. "I am pretty sick of this caricature of me as Big Bad Brian waiting for the smallest excuse to ditch poor little Sunshine" - I love this, shows how much Brian has grown up! And how heartbreaking, when Justin reveals the truth about the guestroom. And I totally agree with Brian... without therapy, it'll probably get worse. So, I think, it's a good thing that Justin's going to therapy again and maybe a little pressure from Brian isn't so bad at all...
"trying to understand how someone like Justin Taylor is even of this world and how by some absolute mistake in this universe, he's chosen me" - Oh my goodness, I love your way of showing through those sentences how much and deeply Brian loves Justin. And that's really cute or crazy ... They both love each other so much and yet they both doubt and wonder why they deserve the other...
So OCD... To be scared all the time must be horrible. I feel so sorry for Justin. Hopefully this therapist is able to help him. I've little experience with depression and/or OCD. Does the depression results from the OCD or vice versa? Or are they two diseases, and he was misdiagnosed? Warmest regards!
Author's Response:
Gosh you know getting to read that you see Brian growing up but staying character as the best feedback I could receive. He loves Justin so much and I think we see that in the show when we're looking for it. But I like getting into his POV and all the thoughts he has about how to try to help Justin.
OCD is a tricky beast and usually misunderstood. The types of thoughts Justin was having are often overlooked even by trained professionals and diagnosed as suicidal or homocidal so unfortunately a lot of people are misdiagnosed. But anyone with moderate to severe OCD is going to be a bit depressed. OCD can really feel like a trap that makes our lives smaller because of all the restrictions intrusive thoughts place on our behaviors (Justin being scared to sleep in the same room as Brian) so depression is a reaction to that. This is the point that I should mention I work in mental health and OCD is one of my areas of specialty so it that was an inspiration for writing this fic.
Date: Dec 29, 2018 1:46 am Title: Chapter 15: Finding the Horizon
Wow, powerful chapter. Poor Justin. Hope this is happiness somewhere down the line. Love that Brian is so patient with him. Great writing.
Author's Response:
Thank you! I'm glad that Justin and Brian's relationship is shining through - I think of their relationship as its own character.
Date: Dec 27, 2018 2:38 pm Title: Chapter 15: Finding the Horizon
Hopefully, Justin has turned a corner... TAG
Author's Response:
Yes - getting the correct diagnosis will go a long way in getting him the best treatment.
Date: Dec 26, 2018 10:39 pm Title: Chapter 15: Finding the Horizon
The end of the tunnel is far away! What a nightmare to live like this. I hope Justin will trust Brian and the therapist.
Author's Response:
It will be hard going but this definitely means there is more hope :)
[Report This]Date: Dec 26, 2018 5:16 am Title: Chapter 15: Finding the Horizon
That's got to be an improvement, right?
Author's Response:
Yes! It is so important to have the correct diagnosis. This will go a long way in helping him.