Date: Dec 10, 2019 4:32 pm Title: Chapter 19: How to Survive
Hi! So, the first part of this chapter made me smile a lot. I just love Brian's sarcasm and humor. But what a shock for Brian and a realization for me... So, the OCD changed from violent thoughts into the fear to have been infected and therefore fearing to infect Brian... And it started in San Francisco and was triggered through the talk with Daphne. Poor Justin.
What's so crazy about it is, the way Brian describes their last six months, it sounds as if they were really good, really happy. To imagine that Justin was still constantly concerned about being infected and he was in fear the whole time ... and Brian didn't notice. Is it often the case that people can hide their obsessions and fears so well?
By the way... "Exiting Babylon each night, my eyes would be drawn to the lamppost" - I love this sentence!
"Mikey having to sign off as Justin's supervisor gave me endless joy." - Oh, I can imagine Brian's joy, makes me also laugh!
Brian's anger, his reaction is very severely, hurtful and at some point bordering on disrespect, but actually it shows only his own insecurity and his scary fear of losing Justin. I love the way you turn this argument into a good conversation. A few years earlier, either Brian would have run away, doing some pain-management, or Justin would have fled. But they are both matured, each for themselves and also with each other. Amazing! And it's very good that Justin talks about everything and tells Brian what happened almost at that time. And then, oh my goodness, can it really get worse? :-) Can't Justin get some good news?
"Buy Justin something pretty." - :-) Oh, that's so cute. I'm so in love with your Brian! "I figured you would want the underdog, er, undercat." - :-) And as I wrote before, nevertheless yo let him stay totally in character. But hopefully Justin won't develop cat allergy if he doesn't already have it! :-) And thanks again for sharing this fantastic, so well written story in spite of your anxiety! It's amazing!
Author's Response:
Reading that you like my Brian is the hugest compliment! He's the hardest character to write but also my favorite.
People can get away with hiding their OCD symptoms but Justin also didn't realize what was going on was OCD, until Brian confronted him, he thought he was just trying to be responsible. He was happy too, all those emotions can co-exist. Also, Brian and Justin have pretty independent lives so it would have been easy for Justin to get tested without Brian noticing (which is also why the testing stopped while they were back in Pitts because they were together all the time being on vacation rather than just daily life).
There are so many secrets on the show (Brian visiting Justin, Sapp's party, etc) so I always like to see how those get revealed in fics.
Brian's reaction - worry often gets masked as anger especially for folks who are uncomfortable with emotions (ahem Brian). But his growth means he sticks with the conversation and doesn't go trick and get drunk and use drugs to avoid it.
Don't worry - I wouldn't give Justin a cat just to take it away. I love some hurt/comfort but I'm not about having to surrender a rescued cat! That's too cruel.
Date: Dec 09, 2019 4:30 am Title: Chapter 19: How to Survive
Hi again! After reading this chapter everything became clear! Wow! And my mood ... Is actually quite easy to explain, I think. That was from written Justin's point of view and that this varies between happy and sad, is no wonder. A longer review will follow. But again in between: Thanks so much for this amazing story, so well written, you're really talented! Warmest regards!
Author's Response:
Thank you for the kind comments on my writing! So incredibly sweet and wonderful to read! I'll go check out your longer review.
Date: Apr 13, 2019 1:54 pm Title: Chapter 19: How to Survive
Justin's OCD is tough. Tough on him, tough on them. Maybe Ru will help. I'm not sure leaving Justin alone when Brian has to travel is going to work out, but we'll see. I don't know who will be more anxious of two.
Hamburger Mary's sounds like the place where they would fit right in. Teasing Justin about Michael and his parents was hysterical.
We have gay bingo here in Philly. Same as drag bingo. Used to go at least once a year. Should get back to it.
Author's Response:
So true - not sure who will be more anxious of the two.
Hamburger Mary's is such a fun time - very campy! definitely go back to gay bingo!
Date: Apr 06, 2019 11:07 am Title: Chapter 19: How to Survive
Yay! Drag Bingo & Brian getting a cat? What a combo! Lol! TAG
Brian will do anything for his Sunshine...just don’t tell him that.
Author's Response:
[Report This]Date: Apr 01, 2019 2:51 am Title: Chapter 19: How to Survive
Great chapter. The bad times weren't too bad and the good times, well Brian got Justin a cat!!!
Author's Response:
I'm glad you liked the cat! Brian wanted to do something for Justin and just acted without thinking too hard about it - which is always best for Brian.
Date: Apr 01, 2019 2:23 am Title: Chapter 19: How to Survive
Another great chapter. I had never thought that the testing was part of the OCD, but it makes really good sense. A cat? Brian and Justin don't seem like animal people to me, but I guess a cat would be better for Brian as it sort of stays out of hte way.
Author's Response:
Haha yeah the cat is a bit OOC for Brian but I often think of Brian as doing things that he thinks will make Justin happy without examining his own actions too hard (like his decision to show up at prom).
Fear of illness is a type of OCD with HIV/AID infection a subtype. It's not very well-known but it's also not uncommon. Not everyone with it compulsively gets tested but it's not unheard of and it works better for the story :)
Date: Mar 31, 2019 6:04 pm Title: Chapter 19: How to Survive
Another great chapter! I'm worried a cat won't be enough to keep Justin from freaking out when Brian will be out.
A few parts I really loved:
Getting the domestic partnership had all the romance of a trip to the DMV.
Despite having apparently never being introduced to a hanger or a dresser drawer, Justin is incredibly organized when it comes to paperwork.
“I mean both Mikey’s parents are drag queens so you automatically assume he’ll love a place with drag queens?” A flush crept up his neck and cheeks. As much as the world has stolen his innocence, and I count myself among the world, his earnestness persists. “I mean you don’t think of Emmett as an Elvis fan just because he’s from Mississippi.”
Author's Response:
Thank you so much!
Having gotten a domestic partnership in CA in 2009, I can definitely say that line comes from experience. It didn't bother Brian at all but it did bother me and my (now) wife!
And yes, I like that our mess is never something that makes sense. Someone's house can be a disaster but they can be incredibly organized in other ways. Or vice versa! Humans are complicated.
And I'm so so so glad the humor in that last part came through. It wasn't easy coming up with a parallel for the joke and I'm glad I'm not the only one who chuckled.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
[Report This]Date: Mar 31, 2019 5:26 pm Title: Chapter 19: How to Survive
Forgot to do my rating.
Author's Response:
Eeee! Thanks ever so much!
Date: Mar 31, 2019 5:25 pm Title: Chapter 19: How to Survive
Congratulations on 100,000 words. That is fantastic. And, you have nothing to worry about with your writing. It is a great story, well written and I love it. Keep writing and I will keep reading. Great job.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I love writing it and some of the topics are very close to my heart and experience. Never easy to put it out there but this is such a supportive community and I'm so grateful to readers like you.