I do not like Lindsey, never did
did read it again
Darn Lindsey, never liked her
I just read this for the second time and I love the story but I hate that it ends there! Is a sequel to this on your list of things to write? Because yes, it ends where the show begins but it’s so different. How does Brian tell him that he already knows him as Jesse? How do all the Taylors, who already know Brian in this universe, react? Since Brian is already basically in love with him do they get to happy coupledom easier than in the show? Does Justin/Jesse ever remember anything? Do they address the fact that HIS EYES CHANGED COLOR??? I’m dying to know!!!
Thanks! This story was the most difficult one to finish that I've ever tried to write. I struggled with it so much. So I'm extra glad to hear that someone liked it. Thanks for reading! TAG
darn Lindsey hate that bitch
Agree 100%! TAG
TAG. You beautiful writer, you always do such an incredible job!!
i had a feeling of where this was going!! And some of the plot lines started me going in my own mind on stories I could write. I’d never do any of it justice.
Again, you continue to blow my mind!
oooh, I can’t wait to see where this goessss
The gluing to the toilet! Brings back all those happy memories from the judge. Hahaha. Great usage here.
This is super intriguing. I can’t wait to see what you do from here.
I've always been a fan of supernatural stories.
The idea of Justin being Brian's guardian angel as well as Jesse's was very moving.
To, in the end, see Jesse come back with Justin's spirit there had me in tears. To finally see Brian reunited with his "angel" was deeply moving.
Tags, you wrote a lot of stories. Some filled with humor, some filled with angst. As you know Smoldering has always been my favorite story written by you but this one has replaced it. To me this one is an absolute masterpiece.
Love, love, love this one.
Awww! Thank you so much. This story was so difficult to write, but I always knew how I wanted it to be - it was just so heartbreaking to write that it took me forever. I’m gratified to hear the end result turned out so well. Thank you for your kind review. TAG
First, I'm very glad that I was able to read this over the course of a few days instead of 4 years, because it was hard to put it down!
I think you crafted the Brian we know in canon beautifully, and filled in the holes well. Yes, there is a lot of angst, and a lot of pain, but I believe this to be true for the character as well.
I'd been suspecting for awhile that Jesse was going to be involved in bringing Justin back to life for Brian...glad that it was able to finally happen. And in this chapter, I really liked at the end, how you added in that element of fear of not knowing what Justin's response would be, to the scene in the series where it's all assumed to be bravado and showing off for Justin.
So, beautiful story. I really enjoyed it. Thanks! <3
You’ve done your job, and you’ve done it well. You’ve built in-canon Brian from the ground up. I just want to go give him a big hug that he probably doesn’t want. ;)
“A shy glance filled with longing and loneliness was aimed towards Justin’s angelic face. Brian looked around him and noted that nobody was paying him any attention at the moment - he’d long ago scared off all the tricks who’d dared to approach. It didn't look like he'd be celebrating his big news in any other asses tonight. He was all alone except for his old buddy Jim Beam and his childhood imaginary friend.”
This section was so dead on. Apparently I’m the sort of masochist who loves a story that makes you hurt for a character, and that’s happening here.
Oh man...the Sap. Wow. This chapter was intense but so good. I’m not sure why you kept apologizing for the angst and drama. It’s necessary to build this character. He has a dark past. And it’s sad, but it’s what made him who he is. Still loving this story.
“So far, none of the emotionless sexual encounters Brian had engaged in had changed his opinion of sex at all - just like that first time with the Coach in the locker room shower, the sex didn’t really mean anything. It was just a means to get off. Brian couldn’t figure out why everyone seemed to make such a big deal about it.”
Yep. Nailed it. It didn’t mean anything until he ended up with Justin. And I think it took a long time for him to admit to himself that it did at that point.
I feel like without drama there is no story. I think you have just the right amount of drama here. This is why this character is the way he is. I really feel like this story could be canon. Well done.
That’s exactly what I was going for. In my head, this is sort of pre-canon. TAG
No complaints from me about angst...I feel like you took this story out of my brain, so far.
“He liked having his very own booster squad and he definitely wasn’t getting any support at home, so of course he gravitated towards the only place he’d ever felt wanted.”
Oh my gosh...you're making me hurt for him and making me want to cry. But that's the kind of story I like to read. You've got me, hook, line, and sinker.
If you like sad & angsty, this is definitely the story for you! Enjoy! TAG
I love this story!!!! I only just discovered it and it's magical and fabulous!!! You are one of my favorite authors. Inlovenall your stories!!!
One of the most heartbreaking, sad and beautiful story I read in a while. I had no idea how could you make them together again, and reading the last chapter I thought probably as 2 spirits. I'm glad it didn't end that way, I'm also glad it finished in the most hopeful way this story could have taken.
Beautiful well written story, thank you so much for writing this. For me a good story is one I'm thinking about even when not reading it, and this one kept me sad, worry and thinking even after. One of the best QSF story, thanks again, Michal
Thank you so much. This was probably the most difficult story I've ever written - probably why it took me three years to complete it. Glad you liked my tricky ending. Thanks for reading. TAG
Excellent as always and glad you finished it well worth the wait.
Loved this story -a very different but satisfying read.
Thank you. I was going for different, so I'm glad to hear I succeeded. Thanks for reading. TAG
All I can say is WOW! I have never cried and ached for our boys so much...from the prologue til the last sentences.
I can totally understand how writing this was difficult. Angst and plot twists in abundance. You really have given Brian a back story that explains so much of his personality, his rules, his faults, his drive...most of all you gave us insight into his heart. Seeing what motivated the making of Brian"Fucking" Kinney was amazing. The show gave us just enough to lead us in certain directions where Brian as a character is concerned. You, however, gave us so much more.
Justin as a guiding spirit was a wonderful storyline. At times I ached for all he missed out on by his life being cut short. But to see the Taylor family from a different perspective was genius.
Thank you for this wonderful gift of a story. I am left with a couple of questions in your Kindred universe...Does Justin ever figure out he is his own Uncle Justin now/and Jesse was the placeholder he felt like? How does Brian explain to the Taylors (especially Winnie) why he's suddenly with Jesse?
Great writing as always, can't wait to see what's next for you!
Thank you! This was certainly an emotional one, right? I'm glad you saw what I was going for - filling in Brian's backstory as best as I could to depict how he got to be the character we saw at the start of the series. I've always felt like he had a much harder childhood than was even hinted at in the show. There's no other way to explain his twisted, complex personality. I hope that my explanation fills in those missing years and explains things more in depth. I added Justin in here, in his spirit guise, because, even though I'm sure Brian's childhood was a horror, he couldn't have come out nearly as whole as he was if he didn't have some moderating force in his life. I posit that it was Justin in this fic. Who knows, right? Glad you liked the story.
As for your remaining questions: I DON'T think that the Justin in the series ever knows about his own past with Brian. He doesn't have those memories. They died with Jesse. But Brian remembers, and that, in part, colors a lot of his subsequent actions. Like, why Brian, who was a perpetualy loner, was instantly attracted to Justin. Why Brian was protective of Justin from day one. Also, why he was ambivalent about Justin's place in his life and always wanted to give Justin the chance to choose someone else other than him, because he would feel that he was somehow influencing the boy who didn't remember their past with his own desires. Of course this is all just my own headcanon, but I think it fits. As for Winnie . . . well, the Brian in the series actively avoids any contact with Justin's family after they meet, so maybe he just cut himself off from Winnie too and tried his best not to interact with them so that his prior link to Justin/Jesse wasn't obvious. That's what I see in my mind at least.
Hope this answers some of your questions.
Now off to my big Summer Collaboration story and a nice, fluffy, angst-free family fic with Lorie!
I liked this story it's a very good work TAG ! These chapters on Brian's childhood and adolescence are very angsty but explain a lot about his adult behavior. I would have liked Justin to do more things to help him and why not drop Jack or smash something on his head so he does not remember anything and does not blame Brian! I am surprised by the end, I thought that like "the sleeping beauty" that to make love would have "resurrected" Justin I struggle with the interaction of Jesse but I liked it anyway! Thanks thanks thanks!!! Waiting for your summer story !
Thank you! So happy to hear you liked this story. I really tried to tell all of Brian's backstory in a way that somehow fit in with the series. Thanks for reading and taking the time to tell me you liked it! TAG