Saturday, April 23, 2016

One of my favorite musicians, the one and only Prince, died on Thursday. Having grown up listening to his music, I almost felt as if I knew him and was taking his death pretty hard, just as I had with Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston.

I often did my best work when I was upset about something, so I had been spending much of the past few days in my studio painting. The words "purple" and "Prince" were practically synonyms, so I was naturally working on an abstract piece that had lots of purple in it. I had felt compelled by my grief of this legendary musical genius to make something big. 36" by 48" had felt about right and I luckily had a canvas that size in my storage area ready to go.

I was randomly brushing various shades of purple along with some black, white, and gray on the canvas while listening to my favorite local Top 40 radio station. They had been playing Prince's songs with their regular programming since the news of his death was announced. Many of his classics had been played that day: "Purple Rain", "Diamonds and Pearls", "Little Red Corvette", "Raspberry Beret", "Kiss", "1999", "Let's Go Crazy", and "When Doves Cry". I had MP3s of his entire musical catalogue along with several of his CDs, but I actually enjoyed listening to the actual radio, which not many people did anymore.

I couldn't help but let out a small cheer when Prince's "7" came on. That had been my song back in the early 90s when it was first released.

"All seven and we'll watch them fall. They stand in the way of love and we will smoke them all. With an intellect and a savoir-faire, no one in the whole universe will ever compare..."

That last bit was certainly true of my sinfully beautiful fiance, Brian Kinney. There was no one else like him.

I had heard a few different explanations about what "7" was about. Many of Prince's songs had religious connotations and the "seven" mentioned in that song could have been referring to the Seven Deadly Sins; at least that's what I believed whenever I listened to it.

The Seven Deadly Sins: Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth.

"Sounds like the recipe for one Brian Kinney," I said out loud before continuing to sing.

Depending on who you asked, my fiance could certainly be called a sinner. His not-so-dear old mother had called him one enough times throughout his life.

Pride.

Brian had plenty of that to go around. He was the proudest gay man I had ever met. He wasn't an obviously gay man, unlike our dear old friend Emmett, but no one could doubt that Brian was unashamed of his homosexuality. Back in the bad old days before I moved back home from Manhattan and we had decided to be monogamous, Brian had been the biggest whore on Liberty Avenue and fucked just about anything with a dick. Now Brian only fucked me, but his pride in being a fearless gay man had not faltered.

He was also a proud man, period. That pride had often done him more harm than good. He had been too proud to ask me to stay after I had started my affair with the violin player whose name shall never be spoken again. He had been too proud to take what he saw as charity after spending all of his money on his anti-Stockwell commercial, at first. He had been too proud to tell me that he had testicular cancer, in an unfounded fear that I would pity and leave him for being less of a man with only one ball. He had been too proud to tell me he loved me before the Babylon bombing, not wanting to surrender any power over to me. Finally, he had been too proud of me to ask me to stay in Manhattan when the opportunity to make it big in the New York art world came around shortly before our commitment ceremony.

Luckily Brian had gotten much better over the years at setting aside his pride for the greater good when the occasion called for it.

Envy.

This was not something that Brian himself dealt with. He had a wonderful life, mostly because he had me in his bed every night and would be able to call me his husband in a few months. He was gorgeous, had an amazing body, and had a shitload of money. However, Brian was envied by many and he fucking loved it. Ted was Brian's biggest fan, never afraid to admit that he wished he had Brian's confidence, brilliance, and cock, among other attributes. You could tell by the way other men looked at Brian that not only did they want him, they wanted to be him. Who the fuck could blame them?

Gluttony.

Brian had always been calorie-conscious in fear of putting on weight, so he was not an overeater. Gluttony could also be considered wanting more than you need of anything, not just food. Sex, drugs, alcohol, partying... It was no secret that Brian was the poster child for excess. He had given up the drugs and partying and had cut back on his alcohol consumption quite a bit. The one vice he would never give up was sex. It was a damned good thing I was just as ravenous as he was, sometimes even more so.

Lust.

Just as "purple" and "Prince" could be synonyms, "lust" and "Brian" could also be. Brian was the sexiest man I had ever laid my eyes on and many people would agree with me. The man was sex on legs. I had caught more than one obviously straight man look at Brian with a gleam of lust in his eye over the years, along with a few lesbians. Again, who the fuck could blame them? The only man that Brian lusted over these days was me... and Chris Hemsworth, his one celebrity free pass. Mine was Ryan Reynolds.

Anger.

Yeah, Brian had quite a bit of that. I would never forget how he had yelled at me to get the fuck out, both after his loft had been robbed and after Michael told him we knew he had cancer. I forgave him for those incidents because I knew he often tended to act before he thought when he was angry. He had a lot more respect for me now and rarely ever raised his voice at me. When he did, he would get it right back.

Brian still had trouble controlling his temper at the office from time to time. He was very passionate about his work and had little tolerance for shoddy efforts from others.  A few Kinnetik employees had quit over the years because of Brian flipping out on them, resulting in two unsuccessful lawsuits against him. It turns out that you can't sue your boss over him being a loud asshole, fortunately.  

Greed.

Brian was a very greedy son of a bitch. He loved money and was proud of it, mostly as a result of growing up in a poor household. He enjoyed surrounding himself in expensive things, including designer clothing, beautiful furniture, rare artwork, and luxury vehicles. He had spent thousands of dollars on his wine collection, and most of the bottles would never be opened. There was also the Gulfstream jet that he bought for "business purposes" for $10 million a couple of years ago. It was a very good thing that Brian did an excellent job at making lots of money, with Kinnetik being an extremely profitable business. Babylon turned a nice little profit each quarter, but he mostly kept it for nostalgia.

Sloth.

Most people probably would never call Brian "lazy," but I often do... at least when it comes to housework. Brian hates taking out the trash, cooking, laundry, and basic cleaning. Yeah, we have a housekeeper that comes in three times a week, but that does not give us a free pass to live like pigs otherwise. Since my mother stayed at home with Molly and me when we were kids, we never had a reason to have a housekeeper. As such, Mom insisted on us picking up after ourselves and keeping our rooms clean.

I wasn't exactly a clean freak, but I liked to live in an organized house. Brian was great at not putting things back where they belonged, even if he didn't take the item out of the room. He left his toiletries out on the bathroom counter all the time, no matter how much I bitched at him to put everything back in the cabinet. He'd leave empty food containers and cups on the table or his desk. If what he was throwing away didn't land in the trash can the first time, he would not pick it up. It drove me bonkers.

"I am yours now and you are mine and together we'll love through all space and time, so don't cry. One day all seven will die."

I was his. He was mine. Together our love would get us through anything.

"Thanks for the music, Prince," I said as I brushed more purple paint onto the canvas.