Sound of Silence
Julesmonster



Part One



Justin wiped the sweat from his brow and sat down at the counter to count his share of the tips from his first day on the job. He wasn’t waiting tables himself, but the waitresses each gave him a percentage of their tips for clearing their tables and running their food.  It wasn’t much, but combined with the small salary that the diner paid him, it would help Justin make ends meet. And since it was under the table, unreported income, it wouldn’t affect his state assistance or financial aid.



It was hard for him to believe that it had been almost a year since his Mom had died. So much had changed in that time. Justin’s world was nothing like it had been before Jennifer had been killed while crossing the road by a drunk driver. They hadn’t had much, but they got by. Without Jennifer, however, life was a lot tougher. Justin was in school, going to PIFA to get his degree with a double major in graphic design and fine art. He was five semesters into his education when Jennifer was killed. He’d been forced to take a semester off while he worked with his social worker and the school’s financial aid office to get his finances taken care of. Even after all that, however, he found that he came up just a little short each month. Hence the job at the diner. He could only work a few hours a week, but those extra hours would be a lifesaver for him.



A shadow fell over him and Justin looked up to see Debbie standing in front of him. “Go home, Sunshine. You look exhausted.” Justin nodded his agreement but didn’t get up quite yet. “You’ll be here on Thursday?” He nodded again and smiled. “Now there’s my Sunshine. I’ll see you then.”



Justin tucked his money away and rose from the counter, only to run right into a firm body. A very tall firm body. He looked up and saw the most beautiful face he had ever seen in his life. It was the kind of face that had inspired Michelangelo’s David. It was the kind of face that was meant to be captured in paint or marble for people to marvel over for centuries. And that face was currently frowning at him.



“Watch where you’re going kid.” He put his hands Justin’s upper arms and moved him physically aside and out of his way. Justin couldn’t tear his eyes away from the beautiful man. He talked with Debbie. She handed him a bag of lemon bars, he gave her a five and then he was turning to go. “See something you like?”



Justin nodded and the man smirked. That smirk turned to a frown as someone said something to him. Maybe Debbie. Justin didn’t bother to turn and see. He was too busy memorizing that face so he could sketch it later. And then the man smirked at him one last time before turning to leave.



Justin chased after him before he knew what he was doing. Once on the sidewalk out in front of the diner, Justin tugged on the man’s sleeve.



He turned to see who had stopped him. “You again. What’s up kid?”



Justin wasn’t thinking straight and began signing rapidly to the man. “Christ. Slow the fuck down. I didn’t catch any of that.  It’s been too many years since I took sign language in college. All I remember is the alphabet and a few simple signs like thank you and some dirty words. The professor was gagging to get laid and I was going for the easy A.”



Justin followed his speech and nodded. He began spelling out what he wanted to say.



“I-W-A-N-T-T-O I want to… What get fucked? I can do that,” the man said with a leer. “You’re kind of young, but you really are hot. I noticed you have a great ass.” Justin shook his head and continued spelling. “P-A-I-N-T-Y-O-U. You want to paint me?”



Justin nodded emphatically.



“I’m hoping that you’re an artist and not a house painter,” he said with a teasing smile. Justin huffed a silent laugh. He nodded again. The man looked him over and thought about it for a minute. “Yeah alright. I’m Brian.”



Justin grinned and began spelling out his name. “Justin. Well, nice to meet you Justin. So, when and where do you want me?”



Justin had to think hard about his work and school schedule. Brian grabbed a pen from the inside of his suit jacket and a business card. He handed both to Justin. “Write it down. Any evening this week after seven, except tomorrow. I have a meeting.”



Justin nodded and wrote: Wednesday, Thursday and Friday?



“Three nights?” Brian chuckled. “Yeah sure. Seven is good?” Justin nodded and wrote out his address. “See you then Sunshine.”



Justin grinned and watched Brian climb into a jeep and drive away. Then he looked at his watch and swore. He was going to miss his bus if he didn’t hurry.



BJBJBJBJBJ



Brian drove to the address on the back of his card and frowned. This was a shitty neighborhood. It wasn’t particularly unsafe—there were certainly worse neighborhoods—but it was building after building of poorly maintained rent controlled and state assisted housing. He wondered just how bad off this kid was. When he’d asked Debbie for more information about the kid, she had said he was an art student at PIFA. Even if he was poor, he should have been able to qualify for loans and scholarships to cover campus housing.



Brian parked the jeep and prayed that it wouldn’t get stolen. Then he entered the building. There was no security system in the building. Anyone could walk in or out. Brian shook his head and made his way up to the third floor where Justin’s apartment was located. The top floor of a three story walk-up had some advantages, one of which being that there were no neighbors walking around above you.



Brian knocked on the door and wondered how the kid was going to know he was there. Then he noticed the mat under his feet. It reminded him of the mats that used to be used for automatic doors. That must be how he could tell.



Sure enough, Justin opened the door moments later, but he wasn’t alone as Brian had expected. He was holding a baby in his arms and feeding him a bottle. From the looks of it, the kid was almost asleep. Brian followed Justin into the living area and sat on the sofa while Justin went through a doorway that Brian assumed led to the bedroom. The only other door in the small apartment he could see led to the bathroom.



The place was small and grungy, but it was pretty clear that Justin kept it as clean as possible. There were no luxuries: no television, no DVD player or game system. The only electronic equipment was the computer in the corner near Justin’s easel. There were few toys around the room, not even half as many as Brian remembered Gus having at that age. There was no swing or bouncy chair. There was no play mat or light-up activity center. There was a small blanket on the floor near the sofa with a couple plush toys and a teething ring. There was a cheap fold-up stroller near the door and a highchair beside the table. Other than that, there was no indication that a child lived there. And Brian had no doubt that the baby was Justin’s. If the blond curls on the baby’s head and his blue eyes weren’t enough of a clue, the way Justin looked at him would give it away.



Justin emerged a few minutes later and closed the door behind him. He checked some sort of monitor and fiddled with his watch and then came over to Brian.



“Cute kid,” Brian said. Justin smiled and spelled out a name. “Daniel? That’s his name?” Justin nodded. “How old is he?”



Justin held up all ten fingers. “Ten months. I have a son. He lives with his mothers.” Justin looked quizzical and held up two fingers. “Yeah, they’re dykes. Gus just turned four a couple weeks ago. He’s the best thing I’ve ever done with my life.”



Justin nodded in understanding. He went to the fridge and got two bottles of water and brought one for Brian and handed it to him.



“So, you ready then?” Justin nodded and gestured for Brian to take off his clothes. Brian smirked. “All of them?” Justin blushed and shrugged. He’d leave that up to Brian. “I’m not shy.” Soon, Brian was standing completely naked in front of Justin and the blonde had a difficult time concentrating on getting his paints and brushes ready. “Where do you want me?”



Anywhere, Justin thought and blushed again. He pointed to the sofa and Brian lay out across it and got comfortable. The leg closest to the sofa back was raised and Brian’s whole body was tilted slightly on his side. One hand was above his head and the other rested on his stomach, just above his flaccid cock. Justin had to put that cock out of his mind as he began blocking in the general shapes of Brian, the sofa and the grungy wall behind him. Soon, it was easy to ignore anything but the paint and shapes.



After a while, Brian began to fidget and Justin hit the side of his easel to get his attention. Brian looked up to see Justin sign S-T-A-Y S-T-I-L-L.



“This is fucking boring,” Brian said.



Justin smirked at him and used the sign for talk. Apparently Brian remembered that one.



“Talk?” Brian huffed. “What am I supposed to talk about?” Justin shrugged. “Alright. I guess I’ll tell you a little about myself. Did you ask Debbie about me?” Justin shook his head no and then went back to painting. Brian wasn’t sure if he should be insulted by that or not. “Okay. Well, I’m pretty fucking successful. I own my own advertising agency. I’m very good at my job. I could sell sand to a man in the desert.”



Brian was quiet for a moment. Justin couldn’t be reading his lips and painting at the same time. It was sort of freeing to be able to say anything out loud to another person and know that it wouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass.



“If you listen to the stories around Liberty Ave, you’ll find out I’m pretty successful with men too.” Brian huffed out a dry laugh. “I’m not just successful, I’m a fucking legend. Guys line up to suck my cock. But I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m getting kind of tired of keeping the title as the Stud of Liberty Ave. It takes a lot of work. Hair care, skin care, the right clothes, I would do all that anyway. Working out at the gym, yeah, I’d do that too. But I work between fifty and sixty hours a week, and then I have to pick up and fuck a minimum of two guys a night, four nights a week. Otherwise the young stallions will think that they can take over, like Chad or Chet or whatever the fuck his name was. I beat him down, but I’m not sure I should have now.



“I mean, really. How old is too old to keep playing the games?” Brian wondered. “Mikey, he’s my best friend; he seems to think that I should keep going like the energizer bunny until I die. And that’s another thing. I always thought I’d be dead by now. I never thought I’d want to live long enough to get old. I mean, I still don’t want to get old, but I don’t want to die either.  I want to watch my boy grow up. I want to see how he turns out, if he’s a better man than his Pops.



“I’m a better man than my Pops was,” Brian said quietly. “At least I hope I am. I’ll never hit Gus. He’ll never have to be afraid of me. He’ll never have to pay off my gambling debts or drag my ass home because I get too drunk to walk. I’d kill myself before I let that happen. And I know that Lindsey is a much better mom than my crazy bitch of a mother. She actually loves her son.”



Brian was quiet for a while, lost in his thoughts, so he didn’t notice Justin brush a tear from his eye. Brian obviously thought Justin couldn’t follow his ramblings and paint at the same time. He wondered if he should tell him, but decided that if Brian knew, he might not come back. So Justin continued to paint and tried to keep his face neutral.



“Anyway, I’m guess I’m just getting tired,” Brian said. “It’s like a gunslinger in the old west. There’s always someone out to take your place. Eventually, you’re going to lose. Maybe I should just pass the torch and retire a champion. Don’t get me wrong. I still love sex. I still love the high that you can only get from a really good orgasm. I just sometimes wonder if I should give up my no repeats policy. Take you for example. I’m not sure that one time with you would ever be enough. I mean, Christ, that ass of yours, it was made for fucking! I’m betting that you are fucking amazing in bed. Or out of bed.



“I wonder about you though,” Brian continued. “You are a real puzzle. You are obviously smart and talented, but you live in a shithole. You’re obviously gay, but you have a kid.” Brian shook his head. “Then again, I’m gay and I have a kid. I guess I’ll just have to ask you about all that.”



He was quiet again for a while and when he started talking again, it was less personal. He told Justin about his company and some of the problems they were having with one of their clients. And he talked about his friends.



“I really didn’t mean to make him piss himself,” Brian told Justin. “But we’d just had all that soda and shit from the Senior Days fair and then he was fucking teasing me about the gym teacher and I started tickling him. Oh Christ, it only took a few minutes and he pissed himself right there on the sidewalk on the way home. He didn’t talk to me until graduation. That was… shit, at least two weeks.” Brian chuckled. “He’d stop speaking to me again if he knew I had told anyone about that.”



Justin couldn’t help himself. He let a breathy laugh escape and Brian looked up to see the blonde trying to control his face, but he was obviously amused.



“You little shit!” Brian accused, but he wasn’t nearly as mad as he thought he would be. “How much of all that did you catch?”



Justin bit his lips and raised his eyebrows innocently.



“All of it,” Brian sighed as he sat up. He suddenly felt very naked. “Fuck.”



Justin sat down his paint brush and moved to sit beside Brian on the sofa. He spelled out C-A-N-T T-E-L-L.



“You can’t tell anyone,” Brian said with a rueful laugh. “Right.”



Justin touched Brian’s face and the brunet looked at him. Justin leaned forward and kissed him softly. Then he sat back and smirked. I L-I-K-E Y-O-U-R A-S-S T-O-O.



Brian couldn’t help but laugh at that.

Part Two



The next night, Brian was a bit more cautious about what he said as he talked to keep himself entertained and Justin was not surprised after the first night. He could tell that Brian didn’t normally talk about stuff like that with anyone. But despite his discomfort, the night had ended on a fairly positive note and Brian returned for the second sitting.



Brian had surprised him by signing hello and a few other simple phrases when he arrived. He’d obviously been brushing up on whatever he had learned in college. The fact that he thought Justin was worth that effort made the blonde feel warm all over. He had been completely isolated since his mother died. There were very few deaf people at PIFA to converse with. There was no one in his building. It had been a very long time since anyone had bothered to try and communicate with him beyond the very basics.



At the end of the third evening, when Justin was cleaning his brushes and Brian was getting dressed, Daniel began to cry. Brian offered to get him and Justin smiled and nodded. He was usually very cautious about who he let near his son, bur Brian had broken past his barriers with a single unintentional confession. He finished cleaning his brushes and went to check on Brian and Daniel. He found Brian swaying with Daniel in his arms. The only light was from the doorway, and Justin couldn’t see what Brian was saying, but he could tell he was talking to the baby. For a brief instant, a wave of jealousy flashed through Justin. Brian was able to share something with his son that he would never be able to share. But just as quickly as it had come it was gone.



Justin went back to the living room and straightened up and then he went to the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came back out to find that Brian was back and looking at some of his graphic art. When he heard Justin come in the room he turned around.



Brian’s breath caught in his throat as he saw the blonde emerge from the bathroom. He was completely naked and he was completely perfect. He walked slowly over to Brian, who seemed to be frozen in place. When he reached the other man he took his hand and placed something in it. Brian looked down and saw a condom and lube. He grinned and met Justin’s eye.



“You’re sure about this?” Brian needed to know. He’d never asked such a question before, but this time it was important for some reason. Justin nodded and smiled. “Have you done thins before?” Justin actually chuckled and held up two fingers. “Twice?” Justin shook his head. “Two boyfriends?” That was right. “How long?” Justin pointed to the bedroom. Daniel. “Since before Daniel was born?” Justin nodded again. “Fuck that’s a long time.”



Justin grinned and nodded. Then he mouthed “Fuck me.”



Brian didn’t have to know how to read lips to know what he said.



Brian pulled Justin into his arms and kissed him long and hard. It was the sort of kiss that could serve as foreplay all on its own, but Brian was determined that after months of celibacy, that Justin was going to really enjoy this. And so he removed his clothes and moved them over to the sofa where he slowly began to explore every inch of Justin’s body with his hands his lips and his tongue. There were no moans or groans, but Brian could hear breathy gasps and gauge Justin’s pleasure from the speed of his breathing. He heard his breathing hitch when Brian licked the head of his cock, and stutter when he sucked one of his balls into his mouth, and stop altogether when Brian’s tongue reached Justin’s puckered hole for the first time.



Brian sat up and met Justin’s eyes. “Breathe, Justin. If you stop breathing, I’ll stop what I’m doing.” Justin nodded and pushed Brian’s head back down. The brunet chuckled and went back to devouring Justin from the inside out. He listened and Justin’s breathing paused a few times, but he could tell the blonde was trying not to hold his breath. Brian had never paid so much attention to his partner’s breathing patterns before and he wondered if it was just Justin, or if other men held their breath when feeling intense pleasure.



Then Justin was taping him on the shoulder. He had found where Brian had set the condom and lube and was shoving them at Brian. “Please.” He mouthed.



Brian looked Justin over. He looked so wanton and willing and wild with desire. His blond hair was splayed over the throw pillow beneath his head like a halo. His perfectly creamy skin gleamed with a sheen of sweat. He had one leg hooked over the back of the sofa and one foot planted on the floor, leaving him totally open and ready for Brian. Brian couldn’t have held back then if he had wanted to. He ripped open the condom wrapped and soon had himself sheathed. He lubed his cock and then used two fingers to make sure that Justin’s hole was relaxed and slippery. When Brian’s fingers brushed against Justin’s prostate, the younger man’s eyes rolled back, his body arched and his breathing came out in a series of little gasps. Yes, he was ready.



Brian aligned his cock and slowly pushed inside and felt something he had never felt before. Physically, nothing was different than a thousand other fucks in his life. But there was something else, something intangible that made Brian think that he had finally found something precious, something unique, and he would be a fool to ever let that go. It was like coming home, but not to any home he had ever known.



Then he was rocking in and out of that tight heat and fanciful thoughts were replaced by sheer need. Justin began thrusting back at him, one leg wrapped tightly around Brian’s back. The blond had one hand on Brian’s neck and one on his own cock. They moved with and against each other for only a moment and for more than a lifetime all at once as the passage of time lost its linear nature. And the whole time, their eyes were locked on each other. Brian began muttering words and endearments that he wasn’t even aware of saying. “Fuck Justin… so sweet… so tight… Baby… my Justin… Fuck… Angel… so perfect… Fuck Justin…”



Justin pulled Brian’s head down to capture his lips and then everything seemed to escalate in this cycle of want and need and desire that spiraled ever higher until there really was nowhere left to go and then they balanced on the precipice for an eternity before they were falling as wave after wave of purest bliss shot through their souls and out their cocks.



BJBJBJBJBJ



Brian held Justin tightly as they lay together on the sofa. He had never felt anything like that with any of the tricks he’d had over the years. He wondered if it had seemed as special and unique to Justin. Justin seemed to think it was time to communicate, because he shifted so that they were laying chest to chest and he was supporting his head with one hand, leaving his other hand free to spell.



N-E-V-E-R L-I-K-E T-H-A-T.



Brian huffed a laugh. That certainly answered his question. “No, it’s never been like that for me either.”



Justin nodded and smiled. D-O-E-S T-H-A-T M-E-A-N Y-O-U W-I-L-L B-E B-A-C-K?



Brian laughed and kissed Justin softly. “It does. But we’re going to have to do something about this couch. Either that or kick Danny out of the bedroom.”



I-M Q-U-I-E-T



Brian laughed at that. “So you’re saying that if I can be quiet we won’t have to kick him out?” Justin shrugged. “I’m not sure that’s the best idea. We might scar the kid for life. Can you imagine his shrink sessions? What about a screen or a curtain? Or better yet, you could come to my place.”



Justin shrugged again and laid his head back down feeling slightly discouraged. Dating with a kid sure was a lot harder than it had been before Danny came along. He didn’t even have any friends he could ask to baby-sit. His childcare only covered when he was in school or studying. He was already pushing the boundaries by using childcare while working at the diner. But there would only be a year and a half and then he’d graduate and be able to get a job that supported the two of them.



Justin got up carefully and held a hand out to Brian. He pointed to the bedroom in a silent question. Would Brian choose to spend the night or would he go home? Brian smirked at him and led the way.



BJBJBJBJBJ



Brian took Justin and Danny out for breakfast the next morning. The brunet had been appalled when he saw what passed for food in Justin’s kitchen, though he hadn’t told the younger man that. There was plenty of baby food and formula for Danny, but it seemed like Justin was existing on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Raman noodles and generic macaroni and cheese. So they headed for the diner.



“Well hello there!” Debbie gushed as soon as she saw the cherubic baby in the highchair. Then she looked up and Brian and Justin. “Whose kid?”



“Justin’s,” Brian said. “His name is Danny.”



Debbie shoved Brian aside and sat down so that she was facing Justin. “You little shit! You never told me you have a kid!” Justin shrugged. “Right, you don’t talk. Well, you could have shown me a picture at least.” Justin smiled and pulled out his wallet. Inside were a dozen small photos of Danny. “See that! Wow, he is a cutie. Just like his daddy. So, where’s his mom?”



Brian shoved Debbie and she turned to him. “What? It’s a legitimate question.”



Justin pulled out the notebook he had thought to bring with him that morning and wrote: She gave him to me when he was born and then left town. There was a lot more to that story, but Justin wasn’t ready to share that with everyone. He might if Brian asked, though.



“See, Justin was offended,” Debbie told Brian and then turned back to Justin. “That’s too bad. But it looks like you take good care of him. He’s a little angel.”



Justin laughed silently and wrote: Not when he’s crawling around getting into everything.



“Just wait until he’s walking,” Debbie advised. “Then you’ll see some trouble.”



“Can we order now?” Brian snarked.



“Yes your highness,” Debbie snarked right back as she got to her feet.



Once she had taken their orders and left to help some other customers, Brian turned to Justin. “There’s more to that story.”



Justin nodded and hesitated before writing: She was very unstable. She drugged me at a party, or else Danny here never would have existed. I pressed charges to make her get help. They sent her to an institution. When they let her out a few months ago, she disappeared.



“There’s no way she can come back and claim him, is there?” Brian asked.



Justin shook his head and wrote: The judge gave him to me legally. And I don’t think she will ever be sane enough to attempt to gain custody.



Brian nodded. “I had wondered.”



You have other questions? Ask.



Brian smirked but then frowned. “Were you born deaf? Or did something happen?”



I was born this way. My brain doesn’t interpret sound, incoming or outgoing.



“That’s why you don’t talk either?” Brian asked. Justin nodded. While Justin was writing, Debbie came back with their plates. Justin handed Brian the notebook and began feeding Danny little bites of scrambled egg while Brian read.



My ears work fine, but my brain doesn’t connect right. My voice box, on the other hand, doesn’t work at all. The part of the brain that controls speech controls the voice box. Since that part of my brain doesn’t work, my voice box doesn’t work. Most mutes can at least make some noise, even if it’s just a grunt, but I can’t.



Brian looked up at Justin calmly feeding his son and wondered at this kid who could so easily accept something that would be devastating to him. Then again, Justin had never known any other way. He knew that others could hear and that he was different, but he had never heard sound or spoke himself.



Brian ate and watched Justin alternate between feeding himself and feeding Danny. It was no wonder the kid was so skinny; Danny had to have eaten at least half of Justin’s food. Brian called over to Debbie to put in another order for Justin. He needed to eat more.



Justin looked puzzled when the second plate came.



“You need to eat,” Brian told him. “Next time, order Danny his own breakfast. I can afford it.”



Justin nodded slowly. It wasn’t that he was trying to be skimpy. That’s just always how it was. Danny came first in all things. Even when Justin put school first, it was because his future was Danny’s future. If Justin graduated and got a good job, Danny would have a better life. But Brian was right, Justin was still hungry, so he ate the food with a small smile while Brian kept Danny entertained.

Part Three



“So Debbie, how’d you like to baby-sit Danny tonight?” Brian asked, startling both Debbie and Justin. They were just getting ready to go and Debbie had come back to say goodbye. “I want to take Justin to Babylon. He never gets to go anywhere but school, home and here.”



“Sunshine?” Debbie asked Justin.



Justin thought it over. On the one hand, he hardly knew Debbie. He’d only worked with her twice. On the other hand, he really liked her. She had always been very kind to him. She seemed like she was good with Danny. And most important of all, Brian trusted her. He nodded his agreement.



“Well, alright then,” Debbie said. “If you’re going to Babylon, I should probably keep him overnight. You don’t want to wake him up at three in the morning to go home.”



Justin was a little slow to agree this time. He bit his lip indecisively but Brian took his hand and said, “I’ll have my phone on the whole night. If there’s any problem, Debbie can reach us. Okay?”



Justin gave him a small smile and nodded.



“We’ll drop him off around eight,” Brian told her.



“I’ll be waiting,” Debbie said. Then she leaned over to Danny and cooed at him. “Ooh I can’t wait. You and I are going to have fun tonight!”



Danny babbled at her and patted her face, leaving sticky fingerprints behind. Brian laughed and Justin’s grin grew wide. This might just work out.
BJBJBJBJBJ



Brian dropped Justin and Danny off and then headed for the loft. Justin needed to get some school work finished and Brian had brought home the Allegheny Springs Bottled Water campaign to work on. It was a wreck and he had no idea how to fix it. The copy was good, but with out the proper visuals, James Anderson wouldn’t even consider their bid. And if they lost this campaign, there was no way they would be given a shot at the rest of the Anderson Beverages brands. He’d had his art department redo the work four times and he still hated it. It was flat and lifeless.



He worked on it for four hours before giving up and heading for the gym to work out his frustrations. He surprised himself as well as a few hot prospects by avoiding the steam room and turning down all advances. He told himself it was because he was tired after his workout, but that had never stopped him before. He went home deliberately not thinking about it.



Brian pulled up at Justin’s place at 7:30 and headed up. Danny was crawling around the living area chasing a ball but Justin was wearing nothing but his underwear and looked frantic when Brian got up there. “What’s wrong?” Brian watched as Justin’s hands went a mile a minute in a flurry of signs he couldn’t interpret. Brian grabbed his hands and gave him a kiss and then asked his question again.



Justin stared at Brian for a moment and then huffed. He went to the kitchen counter and grabbed some scrap paper and wrote: What do I pack? What will Danny need? How do I dress? Does the restaurant have dress code?



“That’s a lot of questions,” Brian said. “Okay first of all, Danny’s going to need two changes of clothes plus pajamas, food for tonight and tomorrow morning, diapers and wipes, and a few toys. Debbie has a portable crib and a highchair from when Gus used to stay over as a baby. We can choose some place for dinner without a dress code, so don’t worry about that. As for how you should dress, I’ll go look in your closet while you get Danny’s bag packed. Okay?”



Justin nodded and let out a long breath.



When he went to the bedroom a few minutes later, he found Brian holding up two shirts and comparing them. He put one back and laid the other on the bed with the rest of the clothes Brian had chosen. Justin looked at what was there and frowned. The jeans were ones he hadn’t worn in a year because they were too small around his ass and rode too low on his hips. The shirt, likewise, was one he never wore. In fact it still had the tags on it. It was one his ex had bought. It was a button down shirt, but it was made of stretchy blue fine mesh. It covered absolutely nothing.



Brian saw his frown and tilted Justin’s face up to his. “Trust me.”



Justin blinked twice and nodded.



Ten minutes later, after a good struggle with the jeans, Justin emerged from the bedroom looking absolutely edible. The mesh shirt clung to his chest and rode up his abs just enough to show off his trim waist and the tops of his hipbones. The low riding jeans hugged his hips and ass, but were loose in the legs and fell to just the right length over his well worn brown leather boots. Justin had even put on the completely unnecessary brown belt that Brian had added to the pile. The distressed leather and oversized buckle’s sole purpose was to draw the eyes to Justin’s waist.



“Fuck, you look hot,” Brian murmured. Justin flushed but felt slightly less uncomfortable. “Here. You’ll need a jacket until we get to the club.” He handed Justin a brown and blue motorcycle jacket in distressed leather. “Don’t worry, I never wear it anymore. No one will realize I gave it to you. I saw the jacket you were wearing today and thought you could use it.”



Justin put the jacket on and sighed. It was heavy and warm. The sleeves were a little long, but the shoulders fit perfectly and the tailored style emphasized Justin’s body perfectly. Brian nodded in satisfaction. He was wearing black jeans, a black t-shirt and a black leather sport jacket. They would look good together.



Brian gathered up the bag that Justin had prepared as well as Danny’s car seat and left Justin to lock up and carry Danny down to the jeep. Soon they were zipping across town towards Debbie’s. They were a few minutes late, but the redhead never once mentioned it. Instead she patiently went over the long list of instructions that Justin had prepared.



Finally, when Justin started to go through the list for the third time, Debbie touched his cheek and smiled at him. “He’s going to sleep most of the time, Sunshine. He’s going to be perfectly fine. I promise.” Justin looked at her for a long minute before nodding. “Alright then. You need to go and have a good time. Brian looks like he’s getting anxious to go.”



Justin gave Danny a final kiss goodnight and waved as they went out the front door. Once the door was closed he paused on the steps and Brian came back to give him a kiss.



“You’ve never left him with anyone but the daycare, have you?” Justin shook his head. “Debbie would give her life to protect a child. She won’t let anything happen to him.” Justin nodded and allowed Brian to tug him towards the jeep.



He drove them to a nice, but casual, Indian restaurant and helped Justin select something from the unfamiliar foods. Once they had ordered, Brian sat back and asked, “Why are you so alone?”



Justin swallowed hard and wrote in his notebook: It was always just mom and me. My dad left us when he realized that I wasn’t perfect. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And other kids… weren’t very accepting of a deaf kid. We lived in Erie until I started at PIFA. Mom moved with me. She worked to support us both.



“What happened to her?” Brian asked carefully. He knew that it had to be bad. A mother that devoted wouldn’t just desert her child and grandchild.



Justin’s eyes were filled with tears that he had to keep swiping away in order to write. She was on her way home from work last November. A drunk driver ran her down and just kept going.



“Christ, I’m so sorry.” Brian watched Justin pull himself together.



She was looking forward to having Danny live with us but she died right before he was born. The first couple months are a blur now. I’m not sure how I planned the funeral or anything. She had just enough life insurance to pay for the service and burial.



I had to take the spring semester off to work with the state social worker and the financial aid office to make sure I could keep going to school. We get help with food and rent and childcare from the state. I was on a scholarship before that only covered my tuition. Now the school has worked out so that I get a bunch of need based grants to cover books and art supplies and a meal plan that lets me eat one meal on campus a day. It was supposed to be enough, but it isn’t really. There’s nothing in there for clothes or toys. That’s why I took the job at the diner. They don’t report my wages and I don’t lose my assistance.



“That’s a shitty way to have to survive,” Brian said.



It’s only for another year and a half. Just until I graduate and can get a job.



“Not many good jobs for a painter, are there?” Brian asked. “Or do you plan to teach?”



Justin smiled at that. I’m double major. One is fine arts, and I suppose I could teach with that, but my second major is where I’ll be able to make some money. I’m also majoring in graphic arts with a specialty in computer animation.



Brian chuckled. “I saw some of your graphic work at the apartment, but I didn’t realize… I should have though. You are very talented.”



Justin signed, Thank you.



Brian signed back, You’re welcome.



BJBJBJBJBJ



They hit Babylon just as it was really starting to get crowded. Brian showed Justin where they could check their coats and they were soon on their way into the mass of heat and sweat and bodies. Justin felt the pounding rhythm vibrate through his body and could feel the urge to move, but Brian took his hand and led him to the bar instead of the dance floor.



Brian stopped in front of his friends and pulled Justin up beside him. “Hey. This is Justin.” He turned Justin’s face to his and said, “Justin this is Emmett, Ted, Michael and Ben. Michael is Debbie’s son.”



Justin smiled and nodded to each of them in turn.



Michael looked back and forth between Brian and Justin and looked confused. He asked Brian: “Isn’t he the deaf kid from the diner? Why would you bring a deaf person to a club? He can’t hear the music.”



Brian wanted to smack his friend, but Justin stepped up to him and took Michael’s hand in his. He laid both their hands on Michael’s chest and tapped out the rhythm of the song that was playing.



Ben told his husband, “He can feel the vibrations from the bass in his body and pick up the rhythm that way. He doesn’t need to hear to dance.”



“Nicely put, Professor,” Brian smirked and took Justin’s hand back in his. Justin looked up at him. “Let’s dance.” Justin nodded and they made their way out onto the dance floor. The others all just watched them go.



That’s when the gossip began. Michael and Ted were the worst, while Emmett and Ted tried to rein in their unruly mouths. Little did they know but Justin still had a clear view of them and could read their lips quite clearly. They were quite shocked that Brian had brought Justin to the club; Brian took tricks home, but he never brought them. Then talk turned to some of his wilder exploits before Justin turned away and refused to pay them any more attention.



What they had said made him wonder about a few things, though. Brian had already admitted that he was promiscuous, and he had said he had considered trying keeping the same man around for a while, but he hadn’t said anything about monogamy. Was he still planning on tricking while they dated? If it was just him, he thought he might be able to handle that sort of casual affair—maybe—but he had a son to think about. If he let Brian become part of Danny’s life, it automatically became something more than casual. He couldn’t expose his son to that sort of heartbreak without some sort of reassurance. Maybe not of monogamy, but at least that Brian was more serious about this than his friends seemed to think he could be.



Justin determined to bring this topic up with Brian before he allowed their affair to progress too much further, and then he put the subject out of his mind for the night. Babylon was not the place for that discussion, and he really wanted to just get lost in the rhythms and motion. Many people were surprised to learn how much he loved to dance; like Michael, they thought that because he couldn’t hear a tune, he couldn’t appreciate music. But the pounding bass that reverberated through every body in the club and connected them in a pulsing wave of euphoria was just as potent to him as it was to the hearing.



Brian and Justin moved in perfect synchronicity, like they had danced together this way all their lives, like they were two halves of the same body. As one song flowed into another and one beat replaced the last, they surged in and through each other’s personal space and enveloped each other in intimacy that shielded them from the other dancers. Out there, like in the bedroom, they didn’t need words to communicate; they let their bodies talk for them instead. Only when they were both sated and spent did they retreat to the bar for water and a second wind.



“Wow, honey, you can move,” Emmett told Justin while Brian flagged down the bartender. “So how do you like Brian’s personal playground?” Justin looked quizzical. Emmett shook his head with fond exasperation. “He didn’t tell you? Babylon is his. The last owner went bankrupt because of back taxes and they were going to shut the place down. Brian brought it back from the ashes and revitalized the place. Babylon is his home as much as the loft.”



Justin looked thoughtful and then nodded. He could see that. Brian was a sensual person, which was one of the reasons Justin had wanted to paint him so badly. There was no place that Justin had ever been that held more appeal to the senses than this club. It was life and rhythm and sex and passion… It was Brian Kinney. Justin nodded again and grinned.



“You are a smart boy, aren’t you,” Emmett said slyly. “I can tell you have all these little secrets locked up in that pretty head of yours just waiting for the right man to find them. If there is ever a man who can tame Brian it will be you.”



Justin shook his head. He didn’t want to tame Brian. He just wanted… he wanted all that untamed passion focused on him and him alone.



“You can’t do it or you don’t want to?” Emmett asked and then smiled. “Yeah. I like you, Baby.”



Justin chuckled his breathy laugh just as Brian returned with water and bourbon for each of them. “What’s so funny?”



“We were just discussing the domestication of wild animals,” Emmett said. “Whether it was possible and if it is possible, whether it would be desirable.”



“Why the hell would anyone want a fucking wild animal for a pet?” Brian asked. “And why the fuck is that a topic for discussion on a Saturday night at Babylon? Go away Honeycutt!”



Justin laughed again, but waved to the southern belle as he swished away.



“Don’t let the nelly queen scare you off,” Brian said. “Not all my friends are that weird.”



I L-I-K-E H-I-M



“Then you’re weird too,” Brian said. “Drink up. I want to get back out there and dance.”

Part Four



Justin was impressed by the loft, though a part of him had expected something grander. Here was this man who owned his own advertising agency and nightclub and he lived in a nice but small loft. It suited what he knew of Brian though. The bed and bedroom seemed to be the focus of the entire space, but the easily overlooked work area in the back was obviously used often.  Every piece of furniture in the sparsely furnished space was obviously very expensive and well cared for. The entire apartment was immaculately kept. It should have been a cold and unwelcoming space, but there was an unexpected warmth that made it welcoming and comfortable.  That definitely described Brian as well—at least in Justin’s opinion.



While Justin was having his look around, Brian had been busy.  He had locked up, turned on the alarm, grabbed two bottles of water and was waiting for Justin on the steps to the bedroom.  When Justin noticed him waiting for him he smiled and followed Brian. He took the offered water and swallowed much of it down while he watched Brian disrobe.  It was a sight he ought to be used to by now, after having seen Brian strip each time he had posed for him, but somehow Justin got the feeling he would never become desensitized to this sight.  It was like seeing the Mona Lisa over and over again; you never got tired of a masterpiece.



When Brian was naked and propped up on his side on the bed he gave Justin a grin.  Justin grinned back and set his water down on the side table.  He removed the leather jacket slowly and let it fall to the floor.  In his mind, he could still feel the sensual rhythms from the club reverberating through his body and allowed himself to move to that silent rhythm.  Brian’s eyes never left him, roaming over his body as though imagining what was hiding beneath the clothes.  Justin’s hips rocked and swayed as he toed off his boots and socks before pushing them towards the end of the bed and out of the way. He reached for the belt buckle and easily undid it before unhurriedly sliding the leather out of the belt loops.  When it was free in his hands, Justin gave the belt a lingering look as he folded it in half and let the leather crack.



Brian’s hand had drifted to his cock and he was slowly stroking himself.  Justin danced and watched Brian watching him. He began to unbutton the buttons on his shirt and with each button Justin took a moment to explore the newly-exposed skin.  When the last button fell free, he used both hands to explore his abdomen, his chest and nipples, all just barely visible through the mash fabric.  Brian licked his lips and Justin finally shrugged the shirt from his shoulders and allowed it to fall to the floor.



Justin’s hips continued the slow groove that was playing in his head, dipping and swaying as he reached for the button fly of his jeans.  He saw Brian swallow and tighten his grip on his cock. One button, then two and then three; when the tip of Justin’s cock was peeking through the fly, he turned around to give Brian a different view.  Once the buttons were all undone, Justin began the slow slide of denim over his hips, teasing and tempting with each rotation of his hips.  And then he pushed the jeans the rest of the way down and stepped out of them, still moving to the rhythm in his head.



When Justin turned to face Brian again, the brunet was no longer just lying and watching.  Brian was right there and his patience had obviously run out because he grabbed Justin around the waist and pulled him down onto the bed.  In seconds, Brian was covering his body and devouring him with kisses.  Their cocks aligned and Brian thrust until Justin was he was going to come.  But Brian had other plans for them and urged Justin onto his hands and knees.  In seconds Brian was sheathed in a condom and Justin was lubed up.  Then Brian was entering Justin in one long hard thrust that made Brian cry out and Justin lose his breath.



It was a fast and animalistic fuck, fueled by hours of torment on the dance floor followed by Justin’s teasing.  Brian pushed down on Justin’s back until he dropped his head to the mattress, changing the angle of Brian’s thrusts so that the brunet was jabbing at Justin’s prostate with every inward thrust and caressing it with each retreat.  Justin tore at the sheets and felt like he was going to shatter into a thousand pieces.  He didn’t even think to stroke his cock as Brian’s pace increased, his fingers bruising Justin’s hips where he pulled the younger man back onto his cock with increasing force.



And then Justin fell.  It was totally unexpected. His orgasm seemed to come out of nowhere and was almost painful in its intensity.  He shook and shuddered through the prolonged moments of bliss.  He felt Brian tensing and jerking through his own orgasm, but his mind was just a haze of unformed thoughts and images.  When Brian’s weight settled over him, it should have been crushing, but it just felt right.



They lay like that for longs minutes, still connected in the most intimate way possible until their brains began to function again.  Brian couldn’t seem to stop kissing and biting at Justin’s neck and shoulders as they lay there.  Justin gave a silent chuckle and squeezed the muscles in his ass around Brian’s cock.  He felt Brian stiffen and his cock, which hadn’t completely deflated, swelled once more.  Lying flat on his stomach, Justin’s cock was trapped between him and the mattress, which provided a pleasant friction against his own reawakening erection.  Brian urged Justin to spread his legs a bit further as he leaned a bit of his weight onto his arms so that he could get a bit of leverage.



This time was slower and more leisurely.  Brian rocked his hips, allowing his cock to brush over Justin’s prostate.  Justin lifted his hips to meet the unhurried thrusts.  Before they could get lost in their mutual arousal, Brian grew frustrated from not being able to kiss Justin and pulled out.  Justin looked back at Brian and realized what he wanted.  While he repositioned himself, Brian disposed of the used condom and replaced it with a fresh one.  And then, as though there hadn’t been an interruption, he was sliding back home and both men reveled in the feeling for a long moment before moving again.  This time, Brian made love to Justin’s mouth as he restarted the unhurried rhythm.



Eventually, the arousal reached a state that demanded more than what they had given so far, but even as Brian increased the pace and force of his thrusts, even as Justin lifted his hips to meet Brian’s thrusts, there was an intimacy n the act that spoke of more than just physical release.  And when their orgasms finally hit them, one after the other, their lips were still connected as they gasped in each other’s breath.



Afterwards, Brian gathered Justin into his arms and stroked his blond hair until the younger man drifted to sleep.  Brian had never been one to cuddle with anyone—then again, who would cuddle with a trick?—but he loved feeling Justin in his arms.  He kissed Justin’s head, tucked comfortable in the crook between his neck and shoulder, and let sleep take him.



BJBJBJBJBJ



Justin woke Brian just as the sun was rising with his mouth on the brunet’s cock.  After mutually satisfying blowjobs, they slept for a couple more hours before finally waking.  Brian joined Justin in th shower and pressed him against the shower wall for a wet and wild fuck before allowing him to actually clean up.  By the time they actually were dressed and ready to leave the loft, it was almost noon.  When Justin realized how long it had been since he had thought about Danny, he started to feel guilty.



“Hey,” Brian scolded when they pulled up to Debbie’s and he noticed Justin’s furrowed brow.  “No feeling guilty for having a good time.  You need a life.  It’s healthier for both of you.”



Justin gave him and uncertain smile and nodded.  He’d reserve his guilt until after he saw how Danny had fared.



Brian didn’t bother to knock, he just let them in and Justin followed.  What he saw dispelled any guilt he might have felt.  Debbie had Danny in a high chair in her kitchen and was feeding the baby.  Or she was attempting to feed him.  Every bite of baby food she gave him he spit out, often landing on Debbie.  Rather than scolding the baby, she laughed and asked him, “Well, sweetie, we’ve tried everything.  You’re going to have to eat something or your Daddy’s gonna think I starved you!” Then she looked up and saw the two men in her living room.  “Oh!  You’re back!  Justin, I’m so sorry.  He was fine for breakfast, but he just refuses to eat lunch!”



Justin chuckled and walked over to the table where Debbie’s lunch was sitting half eaten and picked up a French fry.  He handed it to Danny and the baby began eating it with relish.



“That’s what he wanted?” Debbie asked with a sigh.  “If I’d have known that I would have given him the damned fries twenty minutes ago.”



Brian bit his lips to keep from laughing, “How’d it go, Deb?”



“Danny’s a little angel unless he decides he doesn’t want his baby food,” Debbie said as she handed the baby another fry and grabbed a washcloth to clean off her shirt.  “He went down almost as soon as you left last night and slept until about seven this morning.  Then we had breakfast and played on the floor for a bit.”



Justin had his notebook and handed it to Debbie to read:  He always wants what I eat.  Don’t feel bad.  I try to feed him first and then eat unless I plan on sharing.



Debbie eyed the blond and said, “Well you might have put that on your list.”



This time Brian couldn’t hold back his laugh.  “Thank you Debbie.”



“Anytime,” Debbie said.  She looked at Justin.  “And I mean that. If you need ot study, or just a night out, I’m happy to take him.  You shouldn’t have to do everything by yourself.  You have friends now.”



Justin’s smile was a little watery when he nodded and then kissed Debbie’s cheek.



BJBJBJBJBJ



Brian drove Justin back to his place and parked the jeep before helping him get all of Danny’s stuff back up to the apartment.  He carried his briefcase up as well.  He had thought to spend a couple hours at the office, but Justin had invited him to stick around and he couldn’t really bring himself to say no.  Justin had work to do as well, so it would probably be just the two of them hanging out and nothing more than that, but to Brian, the fact that he wanted to just hang out with Justin meant a lot.



Soon, Danny was settled in the bedroom for his nap and Justin was working at his computer while Brian sat with his laptop on the sofa and tried to figure out what the hell he was going to do about the Allegheny Springs campaign.  The problem hadn’t changed since the day before and he was still stumped.  That was why he found his mind and eyes drifting to Justin across the room.  As he watched the young man manipulate a collage of photographs and added animation which made the photos morph into a single entity.



And that’s when it hit him.  He went over to Justin and tapped his shoulder.  The blonde looked up at him with a smile.



“If I gave you some pictures from a campaign we’re working on, could you do that morphing animation on them?”



Justin frowned but nodded.



“I told you about the Allegheny Springs campaign we’re having so much trouble with?” Justin nodded while Brian got the USB drive and brought it over to Justin who put it into his computer and pulled up the files.  “Look at these graphics.  Waterfalls, mountain streams… a hundred pretty pictures of water.  There’s no appeal in any of them.  But what if we laid one on top of the other in layers and then combined them into one collage figure?  And then animate that figure and morph it into this last video clip of the runner with the water bottle?”



Justin looked at the files and thought about what Brian wanted to do and slowly nodded.  It wouldn’t be that difficult to do if he reused the parameters he had already set for his class assignment.  And the morphing wasn’t that hard.  He’d just use the motion from the final video as the template for the animation and…



Brian watched as Justin got lost in making the clip that Brian had described.  Brian was amazed at how quickly Justin had picked up on exactly what he wanted.  He usually had to explain to his staff a half-dozen times before they even came close.  And the way he was just…doing it.  There was no hesitation or second thoughts.  He was so confident and that confidence translated into a nearly perfect product the first time out.  He had not only followed Brian’s directives, but he had added a few touches that made the whole thing even better, like shifting the color values to reflect the blue of the water in the final shot and using a fluid morph that replicated the way water shifts and flows. He even added the slogan to the end in liquid letters that played to the whole theme.  It was perfect and Justin had solved all their problems in less than two hours.



“Wow,” Brian said as he watched the whole thing play out on Justin’s computer monitor.  Even without music or the final voice-over, Brian thought this was one of the best ads the Kinnetik had ever done.  And it was Justin who had done it.  “This is fucking perfect.”



Justin shrugged.  He turned back to the computer and typed: It’s no big deal. It wasn’t that difficult.



“Justin, it is a big deal,” Brian said.  “My team of supposed professionals have had a month to get this together and you saw what they gave me.  In one afternoon, you did something they couldn’t.  You saved this account.”



Justin shrugged again and went back to his homework while Brian went back to the sofa to consider what he had just discovered.  He pulled up the information on the intern program that Kinnetik participated in.  He knew that they had already selected the intern for the current year, but he didn’t really care about that.  He was more interested in how much they paid beyond the tuition assistance.  Students got credit from the school and the agency got talented workers for at least a year after they graduated while the school got guaranteed placement for their students after graduation.



But Justin had more to consider than just his tuition.  If he was working for Kinnetik, even as an intern, then he would no longer qualify for state assistance.  So Brian had to be sure that they could pay Justin enough to leave him better off than he was right now.  Within an hour, Brian had a decent budget put together that would give Justin enough for all the basic necessities—including rent, food, diapers, and childcare—as well as a few extras—like clothes and toys and the occasional night out.



Brian made sure Justin was still absorbed in his work and then he called Ted.

Part Five



What is this?  Justin held up his notebook in front of Brian’s face.  He had brushed past Cynthia and stormed right into Brian’s office on Monday afternoon.



Brian smiled at his lover.  “I’m glad you’re here.  I had something to give you and you saved me a trip.”  He handed Justin an envelope filled with $100 bills—50 of them.



Justin’s eyes widened and he tried to shove the money back at Brian.



“No, that’s yours,” Brian insisted.  “That’s the standard fee we pay per project to freelance artists who do work for us.  You earned that money.  It’s cash so you don’t have to report it if you choose not to accept the internship.  But it’s yours either way.”



That brought Justin’s attention back to his original reason for storming in here.  He had been stopped by the dean of students to discuss the offer of an internship that had come from Kinnetik that morning.  He gushed about how it would set him up for a successful career after graduation, how it was such a privilege since they usually only took seniors, but they wanted Justin right away.  Justin had read over the details of the internship and was shocked.



Why? Justin wrote.



“Because you are a very talented graphic designer and I want you on my team,” Brian said.  “This has absolutely nothing to do with our personal association.”



It’s too much, Justin argued.



“It’s a standard internship contract,” Brian told him.  “The only difference is that we made accommodations for childcare reimbursement. Most of our interns aren’t parents, so that had to be added for you, but otherwise, it’s exactly the same contract that our current intern signed.  And believe me when I tell you she isn’t half as talented as you are.”



Justin frowned. Everything that Brian said rang true, and it matched with what the dean had told him, yet this still seemed too good to be true.  There had to be a catch somewhere.



Brian walked around his desk and pulled Justin into his arms.  “I promise.  The only catch is that you and I won’t be able to do this at work if you sign that contract, at least not where others can see us.  Nothing else will change.  I swear it.”  And then he kissed Justin.



When Justin could think again, Brian was looking down and smiling.  “So?”



Justin smiled and nodded.



BJBJBJBJBJ



Justin never got around to asking Brian what his intentions were, as he had decided to do on the dance floor at Babylon.  Within days of signing the contract, he was starting his new internship. Between getting settled into the new routine, settling everything with his social worker, and keeping up with his midterms, Justin didn’t have time to think about his concerns. Meanwhile, Brian kept coming around two or three evenings a week, usually bringing some form of takeout food with him.  He played with Danny and let Justin work until Danny went to bed and then the two would inevitably end up naked and sweaty.  Sometimes Brian spent the night and sometimes he went home…it usually depended upon how early he had to be at the office in the morning.



The weekends had taken on a new routine as well.  They always spent Friday night at Brian’s loft with Danny sleeping in a portable crib he had gotten from Lindsey.  They would spend all day Saturday together, doing things just the three of them.  And then they would drop Danny off at Debbie’s and then they would spend the night at Babylon and fucking.  After they picked up Danny, Sundays were usually at Justin’s if he had schoolwork to do, or Brian’s if he was caught up.



They had never discussed their relationship.  They hadn’t defined what they were or where they were going or even if they had a future at all.  But when Brian brought Justin and Danny to meet Gus for the first time, he felt like maybe Brian was as serious about them as he was.  It was the fourth Saturday that they had spent together and it was the first time Justin had met Lindsey and Melanie as well.



I’m so glad to finally meet you, Lindsey told Justin as she pulled him into the living room.  Brian had already disappeared up the stairs, presumably to get Gus.  Brian talks about you and Danny all the time.



He talks about Gus too, Justin signed.  One nice thing about visiting Lindsey was that she actually knew sign language.  In fact she had been helping Brian relearn and the brunet was doing much better with communicating now.  And you.  He doesn’t usually say much about Melanie.



I suppose that’s better than bitching about her, Lindsey signed ruefully.  He tells me you are a great artist.  I would love to see some of your work sometime.



I have a portrait of Brian that is going to be shown at the end of semester show in December, Justin told her. You should come.



It’s a great representation of my cock, Brian signed as he returned with Gus running at his feet.



“Why are you and Mommy doing that stuff with your hands?” Gus asked his daddy.



“Well, some people can’t hear like we can and this is how they talk to each other,” Brian said and signed.  It not only helped Justin know what was being said, it helped Brian practice his signing. “This is my friend Justin and his son Danny.  Justin can’t hear, so we talk with our hands so he can understand us.”



Gus looked at the blond man smiling at him and asked, “How do I say hello?”  Brian showed him how to wave his hand and he laughed when Justin and Danny both waved back at him.  “Danny knows sign language too!”



“A little bit,” Brian agreed.  In fact, in the last couple weeks, Danny had begun signing Daddy when he wanted Justin, eat when he was hungry and up when he wanted picked up.  He also recognized about a dozen signs when Justin used them, like yes, no and stop. He had also gotten a few dada’s verbally.  Brian felt rather happy that he was around to see these steps.



“You ready to go to the zoo with Daddy and Justin?” Lindsey asked, signing as she spoke.



“Yes!” Gus shouted and Danny looked a little startled before he giggled and tried to crawl over to the boy.



It was a promising start to the day.



BJBJBJBJBJ



Brian and Justin brought Danny over to Mel and Lindsey’s on Halloween and the two boys went trick-or-treating together with three adults as chaperones while Melanie stayed back to pass out candy. She was now seven months pregnant and didn’t want to walk around the neighborhood all evening. Gus was adorable in pirate costume and Danny was dressed as a lion complete with a big mane and tail. Gus had picked out both costumes when Brian had taken him shopping the week before.



Once back at the house, Danny and Gus played together on the floor while the adults drank hot cider.  When bedtime came around, Danny fell asleep in Justin’s arms and he put him down on a blanket in the living room while Brian took Gus up to read him a bedtime story.



“It’s hard to believe that’s the same Brian,” Melanie groused after Brian was out of earshot.



Why?  Justin asked and Lindsey interpreted for Melanie.



“Brian hasn’t always been the most involved father,” Lindsey said diplomatically.



He gave Gus to you, Justin signed.  Maybe he felt he wouldn’t be welcome if he tried to be more involved. Brian told me that Gus was the best thing in his life the first time he met Danny.



“Brian wouldn’t let that kind of shit stop him,” Melanie said.



Justin disagreed, but there was nothing he could say to argue the point without breaking Brian’s confidence.  It was sad that these two women couldn’t see what he saw, though.



“How is school going?” Lindsey asked to change the subject and Justin let her. When Brian came back down, there was no indication that he had ever been the subject of their conversation.



BJBJBJBJBJ



November seemed to fly by for Brian.  He was in the midst of the pre-Christmas media blitz.  All the preparations had been in place since September for most clients, but he had to make sure that the television, print and internet and social networking ads all hit on time and in the manner that they were intended.  Inevitably there were crises that came up every year.  This year, the Blakely Toys ads got bumped from their primetime national spots and he had to raise hell with the networks and smooth things over with Blakely.  Then two-thirds of their ads on Facebook got misdirected by a hacker and they had to get their IT people working with Facebook to fix the issue as quickly as possible.



He was so caught up with his work that he didn’t realize that something was up with Justin until the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.  He called up to the art department one afternoon and they told him that he had call in sick.  Brian frowned and decided that he needed to stop by and see his Justin after work.



When Brian let himself into the apartment that evening, he found Justin sitting on the sofa crying, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs while Danny patted his Daddy’s face and tried to comfort him.  Justin had felt the matt alarm go off on his special watch, so he wasn’t surprised when Brian sat beside him and drew Justin into his arms.  Danny climbed into Brian’s lap and continued to pat Justin’s head as the blond cried his heart out.  It was then that Brian remembered; Jennifer Taylor had died a year ago today.



When the tears began to slow, Justin sat up a little and kissed Danny.



Daddy hurt, Danny told Brian.



“Daddy’s okay, Danny,” Brian said and signed.



Danny signed, Okay?



Yes, Justin signed and kissed Danny again.  His tears had stopped completely and he was able to give the baby a smile.  Danny climbed down and crawled across the floor to the blanket where Justin kept his toys.  I didn’t think it would hit me this hard.  I knew the anniversary was coming, but… I’ve been a mess all day.



Why didn’t you call me?  Brian asked.  I would have come over.



Justin wasn’t really sure how to tell Brian that he hadn’t known that.  Not really.  Their relationship was still so new and undefined.  Instead of answering, he laid his head back on Brian’s chest and absorbed the comfort he offered.  The worst part of that day was just how alone he had felt.  It had been a reminder that he no longer had the one person who had always been with him.  But as Brian stroked his hair and let him curl up against him, he thought maybe he didn’t have to be alone.



BJBJBJBJBJ

Brian brought Justin and Danny to Debbie’s for Thanksgiving. It was normally overcrowded, but Mel and Lindsey had taken Gus to visit Melanie’s family this year, Ted and Blake had reconnected and decided to go away for the long weekend, and Hunter was at his girlfriend’s house.  That just left, Mikey, the Professor, Emmett, Debbie and Carl and the three late arrivals.



“Late as usual,” Mikey taunted.



“Don’t blame me,” Brian said and signed.  “Danny decided to dump his juice on my sweater and Justin insisted I had to go home and change to look presentable.”



Don’t blame Danny, Justin signed.  You are the one who gave him the juice box and then tickled him. And I told you that you could hardly see the stain.



“What did he say?” Debbie asked.



“He apologized profusely for making us late,” Brian said and signed and then sucked his lips between his teeth.  Justin hit him in the arm.



“Somehow I get the feeling that wasn’t what he said,” Ben chuckled.  “Good to see you again, Justin.  And this must be Danny.”



Danny watched all the new people a little warily.  And when Justin moved to sit him down so he could take off his coat, the boy was immediately tugging on Brian’s pants and signing up. Then he also made a B and held it by his forehead before wiggling his fingers.



“I get up,” Debbie said, “but what was that second sign.”  She was learning some the simple signs that Danny used often.



Brian looked at Justin with raised eyebrows.  Danny had never made that sign to him before and he didn’t recognize it.



Justin smiled at Brian.  He made a made a B and held it by his heart, his sign for Brian.  Then he made the sign for Daddy, an open hand with all five fingers spread and the thumb touching his forehead and fingers wiggling.  Brian frowned and repeated the signs that Justin made and then looked at Danny in his arms.  He made a D and moved it from his forehead to his heart, the sign for Danny and then pointed to Danny.  Danny giggled and repeated the sign and pointed to himself.  Brian pointed to himself and Danny giggled again.  He liked this game.  He put the B to his forehead again and waggled his fingers.



“What?”  Debbie demanded.  The hearing people had all been watching this interchange eagerly.  “What does it mean?”



Brian shook his head, still feeling slightly bemused.  “He’s calling me Daddy Brian.”



“Da da da,” Danny chanted and giggled.



Justin came over and gave Brian a kiss on the cheek.  He came up with that on his own.  I’ve been trying to teach him Grandma Debbie, but this he did himself.



Everyone smiled and awed when Danny made the sign a third time.  Everyone except Michael.  Brian noticed, but he waited until Justin and Danny were showing Emmett and Ben how he could take a couple steps on his own now in the living room and Debbie and Carl were busy in the kitchen before pulling his friend aside.  They went out to the backyard and Brian lit up a joint.



“I thought you gave up this shit after the cancer,” Michael said, but he took a hit when Brian offered.



“I gave up everything else,” Brian shrugged.  “I have to keep one vice.”  He took another hit and turned to his friend.  “What was with that frown earlier?  You have a problem with Danny calling me Daddy?”



Michael sucked in a lungful of the acrid smoke and held it while he formulated his reply.  It was a short reprieve.  “I just think it’s irresponsible to let the kid get that attached to you if you aren’t going to be around for the long haul.  You didn’t even want to be responsible for Gus and he’s your kid, why would you want to take on another man’s child?”



Brian took his joint from his friend and hit it twice before he answered.  “First of all, I love Gus and if something ever happened to Melanie and Lindsey, I’d be the first one there to take care of him.  But as it stands, I have to walk a very fine line between what I want and what they want and what Gus needs.”



He took another hit and offered the joint to Michael, who waved him off.  “Second, who says I don’t plan on being around for the long haul with Justin and Danny?  Danny’s a great kid.  I love spending time with him. And Justin… is special.  Gus loves them both.  Why wouldn’t I be there for them?”



Michael looked incredulous. “Because you’re Brian Fucking Kinney.  You don’t do relationships or love.  How many times have you told me that over the years?”



“Things change,” Brian said quietly.  “You and the professor have moved to Stepford-fag heaven.  Teddy has his formerly tweaked-out twink.  Even your mom is fucking living in sin with Carl.  Why can’t I change too?”



Michael was speechless.  He stared at Brian realized he was completely serious.  “How… when… Christ Brian. I don’t know what the fuck to say to that.”



“Say congratulations and wish me luck,” Brian said wryly.



“Congratulations,” Michael said.  “I hope he can make you happy.  You deserve that.”



“So does he,” Brian said.

Part Six



Brian went completely overboard for Danny’s first birthday.  Instead a quiet little cake-and-presents celebration, Brian had rented out the back room of a restaurant and invited everyone they knew, including the kids from both Danny and Gus’ daycares.  Then he had hired an entertainer who told stories, played games and did magic tricks.  The whole thing was done in a zoo theme and each of the children got a plush animal mask to take home with them.  Gus made sure that he got the lion, because he said that and Danny could both be lions now.



Isn’t this a little over the top? Justin asked Lindsey.  Have you seen how many presents Brian bought?



Lindsey laughed.  “You should see him at Gus’ birthdays.  He always spends way too much.  Melanie hates it, but I know it’s just because he didn’t have that kind of stuff when he was a kid.”



“Just wait until Christmas,” Debbie said with a snort.  “Brian always claims to hate the holiday, but he always picks out the perfect gift for each person and doesn’t give a damn what dollar limit we set that year.  He’s even worse with Gus and he’ll be just as bad with Danny.  Neither of those boys will ever want for anything.”



Justin nodded and Debbie wandered away.  He had noticed that little things kept showing up at the apartment for Danny since Justin gave Brian a key.  First it was just toys.  Then the stroller was replaced. That was followed by the car seat and then the highchair.  Then there were the clothes.  As Danny outgrew or ruined something, it was always replaced by something new in the right size and definitely more expensive than Justin would have ever thought to buy.  He’d been on a tight budget his entire life; even with the extra money he had since the internship, he still had to be frugal.



Brian hadn’t limited his purchases to things for Danny, either.  He snuck clothes into Justin’s closet on a regular basis and bought Justin a cell phone with unlimited texting so that they could keep in touch.  Of course Brian refused to ever acknowledge any of it.  Justin couldn’t be sure if it was because he was afraid Justin would refuse the gifts or because he truly didn’t want to admit to being that generous.



The truth was, Justin didn’t think he could ever turn down something for Danny.  He wanted his boy to have every advantage, and it didn’t really matter if it came from him or Brian or from someplace else entirely.  As for the gifts for him, Justin chose to think of it as Brian’s way of expressing his emotions.



I don’t really mind, but I don’t want him to think that he has to do that for Danny to love him, Justin told Lindsey.  Danny would love him even if he was a pauper.  He just loves that Brian spends time with him and plays with him and picks him up and comforts him when he falls.  Justin noticed the look on Lindsey’s face as she watched Brian, Danny and Gus all wresting together.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to imply anything about his relationship with Gus.



No, you didn’t say anything to offend me, Lindsey signed. The first time you came over you said something about Brian not wanting to overstep boundaries that Melanie and I put up and I think we both scoffed at the time, but… It’s always been obvious how much Brian loves Gus, but I realize now that we’ve limited the ways we let him express that love.  And that’s not fair to Brian and it certainly isn’t fair to Gus.  I think Mel and I need to talk about some things.



Justin nodded.  He hoped that they loosened up and let Brian have a more active role in Gus’ life.  One Saturday a month and inviting himself over for an evening or two a week at their house wasn’t much of relationship.  Justin couldn’t imagine only seeing Danny on those terms.



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Why can’t we go back to your loft? Justin asked for the third time, hoping that Brian might finally answer him.



Brian smirked at Justin and signed, Because I’m still having work done. We can go there next week.



Justin huffed followed Brian out to the Jeep.  This was the third weekend in a row that Brian had told him that they couldn’t stay at the loft.  One of his favorite parts of their weekends together was staying at the loft.  It had a great kitchen and Brian always had tons of food that his housekeeper kept stocked.  Justin had discovered that he loved to cook, but the only time he got to do so was at Brian’s.  Brian also had the best bathroom ever created.  His bed was luxurious, with sheets so soft that Justin never wanted to get out of bed.  Brian also had a television and Justin was getting hooked on watching old movies on it on lazy Sunday afternoons.



They had left Babylon at 2 and so it was about half an hour later when they finally made it back to Justin’s apartment.  When they arrived, however, there were police cars everywhere with their lights flashing.  Brian parked and they went to one of the officers who were standing outside Justin’s building.



“Excuse me, officer,” Brian said.  “Can I ask what’s going on?”



“Double homicide,” the cop said.  “Looks like a drug deal gone bad. If you are trying to get in here, it will be a few hours before you can access the other apartments.”



“Thanks,” Brian said with a frown and pulled Justin away with him.  Did you catch what he said?  Justin nodded.  You and Danny are not living here anymore. We’re moving you out tomorrow.



Where? Justin asked.  It takes time to find a place.  That’s why we haven’t moved yet.



Brian didn’t answer.  He was too busy stewing over the fact that Justin and Danny could have been there with all that madness. They could have been caught in the crossfire and he would have lost them.  There was no way in hell they were staying there another night.



Where are we going?



The loft.



I thought you were having work done?



Brian didn’t answer, he just started the jeep and started to drive.  By the time they reached the loft, Brian had calmed a bit, but he was still adamant that Justin and Danny weren’t spending another night at that apartment.



Brian opened the door to the loft and Justin looked around to see what sort of work was being done.  He’d thought maybe Brian was having the floors refinished or the walls painted.  At first he didn’t see any change, then he noticed a wide arched doorway on the far side of the kitchen.



What is this?



Brian gestured fro Justin to check it out.  Justin did.  The archway led to a room Justin had never known was there.  It had lots of windows, some overlooking the alley and some looking out at the parking area behind the building.  Overhead he could see that part of the work that was being done was the addition of two skylights in the room—they still had tarps over the open spaces.  To the left, there were two doors behind the kitchen area.  The closest to the interior brick wall was a new bathroom that was not quite finished.  It had a bath/shower combination, a single sink and a toilet. Everything was installed, but the tiles weren’t yet laid.



The next door was to a bedroom.  It had furniture already, though everything was covered in plastic. The walls were in the process of being painted with a very cute mural.  Each wall had a different scene—woods, a lake, a farm and a city—and they had all the things a little boy might find fascinating.  A frog sat on a lily pad in the lake, a deer peeked around a tree in the woods, cars and trains in the city, and a tractor and cow on the farm.  There was also a walk-in closet that ran the width of the bathroom. Under the plastic, Justin could see one of those really elaborate bunk-beds.  Justin peeked beneath the plastic and found that there were two dressers, a desk, shelves, a changing table and a crib.



Justin’s eyes filled with tears.  You did this for Danny?



 I thought he and Gus could share now that the munchers are gonna let him stay overnight sometimes, Brian signed.  And I thought you could use the other room for a studio. It has a lot of natural light. What do you think?


I think it’s the most wonderful thing anyone has ever done for me, Justin signed.  He went to Brian and pulled him into a deep kiss.



When they parted Brian signed, It was supposed to be a Christmas surprise.  I wanted everything finished before you saw it but there is no way I want either of you going back there.  Please say you’ll move in here.



Justin laughed through his happy tears.  Yes.  We will move in.  There’s no place I would rather be.  Even if we had to put Danny’s bed in the kitchen and my easel in an alcove, I would still say yes.



You like the loft that much? Brian asked with tongue in cheek.



I like you that much, Justin signed.  The loft is just a bonus.



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Debbie was happy to keep Danny on Sunday while Brian roped all the other people they knew into helping them move Justin and Danny out of their apartment. So, with only a couple hours of sleep they were all getting their first look at the shithole Justin had called home for a year.



“Leave the furniture,” Brian told Ben and Hunter, who were loading the filled boxes onto the rental truck.  “None of that is coming.  I’ll call the Goodwill next week. Just pack their personal things.”



“I got more boxes,” Emmett announced to everyone before taking one of those boxes and heading to the bathroom.  Justin was busy packing up his art supplies.



Ted and Blake were in the bedroom packing Justin’s clothes when Brian came to check on them.  “Hey Brian, aren’t these your suits?  I’ve never seen Justin in a suit.”



Brian rolled his eyes.  “Yes, they are my suits.  Did you think I never stayed over here?”



“It’s just hard to imagine you slumming like that,” Ted said.



“Watch it Schmidt,” Brian said warningly.



It was Ted’s turn to roll his eyes. “I didn’t mean Justin.  I mean…these sheets?  No more than 300 thread count.  And the closet?  It’s miniscule.  That’s not to mention the bad plumbing.  This must have been really roughing it.  I can see why you’re moving Justin into the loft.”



“I’m not that big of a queen Theodore,” Brian said.  “I’ve even been camping once or twice! Blake, keep him working and out of the nightstands.  I’ll pack those later.”



“You’ve got it,” Blake laughed.



Brian smirked.  There was nothing in the nightstands but a few condoms, some lube and the puzzle books Justin liked to do at night—Justin had already packed anything more interesting before the others arrived—but not being allowed to look would drive Ted mad.  And when he did look, he wouldn’t be able to ask why he wasn’t allowed to see condoms.



When Brian emerged, it was to find Justin arguing with Emmett about the mostly empty bottles of shampoo that Emmett was trying to throw away.



“But sweetie, there’s not enough left to make it worth moving,” Emmett tried.



Brian shooed the queen away and held Justin in his arms for a minute while the blonde calmed down.  Then he stood back and signed, You don’t have to scrimp and save every penny anymore, Justin.  Emmett is right, those bottles aren’t worth moving.  Let him throw them out.  We have plenty of shampoo at the loft.



It’s not really about the shampoo, Justin signed and then sighed.  It’s just all happening so fast.  I mean, it’s only been eight hours since you asked me to move in.  I know there’s a reason to move now, but…this was my home.  As shitty as it is, it’s the only place Danny has ever lived, and it’s the first place that was truly mine and not my mother’s.



I know.  It’s fast for me too.  I haven’t lived with anyone since I left college. Now, not only am I getting a roommate, I’m getting a whole family invading. Brian smiled to soften his words. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you both there.  It just means that we’re both going to need time to adjust.  In the meantime, try not to scare away the help? Otherwise we’ll be stuck doing this ourselves.



I’ll try.  Justin smiled at Brian and then leaned up to kiss him.  I really want to live with you too.



“Enough kissy face,” Hunter told them as he and Ben returned. “We’re running out of filled boxes.”



Brian and Justin both rolled their eyes, but they went back to work.

Part Seven



The end of semester art show was the week after Justin and Danny had moved into the loft, the week before Christmas, and they were still trying to get everything settled.  Danny loved his room, but refused to actually sleep there yet.  Brian had ordered furniture from Justin’s studio, but it hadn’t arrived yet, so his computer was sitting on the floor and his boxes of art supplies were scattered about half opened as Justin needed to get at one thing or another.  Justin and Brian were still negotiating closet and dresser space, and Justin had a feeling he’d have his own dresser before much longer, whether there was room in the bedroom for it or not.  And they hadn’t decorated for Christmas at all yet.



Now, it was an hour before Justin was supposed to be at the school’s gallery and he couldn’t find a single dress shirt that actually belonged to him, not to mention his one and only suit.  Brian was in the other room with Danny.  He’d been ready to go for a while now.  Then again, he hadn’t spent half an hour getting Danny clean and dressed.  Frustrated beyond reason, Justin waved his arms to get Brian’s attention.  When that didn’t work, he stamped his bare foot and clapped his hands.  Brian finally looked up.



What?  Why aren’t you dressed?  We’re going to be late if you don’t hurry.



Where the fuck are my clothes?   Justin was frustrated beyond all belief.



Such language, Brian smirked.  He set Danny to play with his ball on the floor—Brian had spent a small fortune on toys for the child and he still liked his ball the best—and went to calm his partner.  Did you look in the closet?



My clothes aren’t there, Justin insisted.



Brian smirked and opened the closet.  He pulled out a suit that Justin had never seen before and laid it on the bed.  It was midnight blue with a slight shimmer to the fabric.  It was obviously very expensive and obviously too small for Brian.  Then Brian pulled out a black shirt and a blue tie a half shade lighter than the suit.  There were new shoes and socks as well.



These look like they’re your size, Brian told him.



Justin closed his eyes trying to decide whether to be pissed or pleased.  He kissed Brian and then shoved him away.  I love them, but don’t pull shit like this when I’m already stressed, please?



Brian chuckled.  Yes sir.  He went down to roll the ball with Danny while they waited for Justin to dress.



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Justin knew that Lindsey was going to stop by the show, but he had been surprised when Mel and Gus came with her.  And then Michael and Ben showed up.  Carl brought Debbie.  And finally Emmett, Ted and Blake came together.  He hadn’t been expecting everyone to come out for his little show.  It was just a school show, but the acted like it was a huge gallery opening.



And that made him feel really good, like he was part of their strange little family.



“These are absolutely amazing,” Lindsey gushed as she signed.  “Justin!  The colors, the technique, the mood, the play of light and shadow… I can’t tell you how much I love these.”



“And it doesn’t hurt that you made Brian’s cock looks so…” Ted trailed off as he stared at a very specific part of the painting.



“Move along Theodore,” Brian said.  He turned to Justin and signed.  Give Danny to Debbie; there’s a critic over there that wants to talk to you.  I told him I’d act as interpreter. Justin’s eyes went wide and Brian had to take Danny and hand him off.  He leaned down and kissed Justin. You are going to be fine.  Just answer his questions honestly.  And if you give an idiotic response, I’ll lie and say you signed something intelligent and witty.



His words had the desired effect and Justin laughed before taking Brian’s hand and following him over to where the art critic was waiting.



The man’s questions were actually very interesting and insightful and it was easy to fall into a comfortable discussion of not only his art, but his views on the nature of art.  Brian put in his own remarks occasionally but mostly he let Justin shine.  He didn’t need Brian’s help to be intelligent and witty.



That critic left and another came up to them. After that, there was a gallery representative.  By the time they were able to go back to their friends, Lindsey and Mel were on their way out with a very sleepy Gus, and Ben and Michael were leaving as well. Then Emmett Ted and Blake followed. They all offered their congratulations before they went and eventually, only Debbie and Carl were left.



“They’re really good pictures,” Carl said.  “Not sure I’d hang Brian’s picture over the sofa, but the picture of Danny and Gus is something really special.”



“I love that one,” Debbie said.  “And I love the picture of the Diner.”



Justin smiled at them.  He knew that they were responding as much to the familiarity of the subject as they were to the art, but he appreciated the support anyway. Thank you.



“Hey, I know that one!” Debbie said with excitement.  “You’re welcome, Sunshine.”  She kissed his cheek and handed a very sleepy Danny back over to his Daddy. “You did good, kiddo.”



Carl and Debbie left after that and the show was soon wrapping up.



Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and Danny and looked over the five pictures on display.  The picture of Danny and Gus was Brian’s favorite, but the one of him on the sofa held a very special place in his heart because it was how he and Justin had gotten together. Then there were the paintings of the Diner and Babylon.



The last painting, the one none of their friends had commented upon was of Justin and his mom; Brian knew the photograph that Justin had used as a model.  The little boy could just as easily have been Danny, but the blonde woman in the painting had a haunting beauty, as though it was destined that she would be taken from this world too soon.  That painting, even more than the one of the boys, evoked the strongest emotions.  It was a happy scene of a mother pushing her son on the swing and yet it was unbelievably sad at the same time.  The fact that it could so thoroughly occupy two disparate spaces at once was the genius of the piece. All of the pieces had layers of mood and emotion, but they weren’t as evocative as the mother and son.



We should pack up, Justin signed careful not to wake Danny with his movements.



“You are fucking amazing, you know that, right?” Brian said.  Justin smiled at Brian and leaned up for the kiss Brian offered him.



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The reviews from the show were great.  Justin was featured prominently in both of the major newspapers.  In fact, the portrait of him and his mom took up half of the front page of the arts section in the bigger of the two papers.  They talked a little about each of the artists, but Justin got a paragraph for each of his paintings.  Brian said it was because his work was the best at the show.  Justin would argue but it appeared the art critics both agreed.



Christmas came faster than Justin expected.  Luckily, Brian seemed to be more on the ball than his lover.  When it became obvious that they weren’t going to get around to decorating, he hired a decorator to do it for them.  She left the tree for them to decorate on Christmas Eve, but it had been strung with lights and had little red bows tied all over.  When Brian and Justin got home from Kinnetik that evening, Justin carried Danny around the loft to see all the changes.



“Ta!” Danny said and pointed to the tasteful Santa figurine that had been placed on the coffee table.



Justin smiled and reminded Danny of the sign for Santa.  Soon Danny was making an imaginary beard with both hands and saying “Ta” over and over again.



It’s beautiful Brian, Justin told him.  I’ve never…



I never had Christmas like this either, Brian admitted.  But I think Danny and Gus deserve to have the things we never did.  Lindsey and Melanie are bringing Gus over on Christmas Eve and we’ll all decorate the tree together.  Then Christmas morning will be here and dinner at Debbie’s.



Sounds Perfect. And it did sound perfect to Justin.  But as long as he was with Brian and Danny he thought anything would be perfect.



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Gus insisted on going home with Brian Justin after dinner at Debbie’s on Christmas. Once they were all home, Justin and Brian found out that getting Danny to sleep in his bedroom was simple: put Gus in there with him.  Danny toddled behind Gus as he made his way to the bedroom and climbed into the lower bunk.  The two boys giggled and Gus told Danny some convoluted story about Santa and a lost dreidel.  He used signs when he knew the word and Danny would show sign back at him.  Gus had insisted that Lindsey teach him how to talk with his hands and he now had a vocabulary that was about twice that of Danny’s



Justin and Brian stood in the doorway just watching them until Gus tucked them both in and motioned to the two dads that they were both ready for their goodnight kisses.  Justin was a little nervous about letting Danny sleep in the bed, but it did have safety rails on the one side and Gus was on his other side.  And if it got the baby to sleep in the new room, it was worth it.



Goodnight Daddy Justin, Gus signed.  Justin smiled and kissed the boy’s head.  That was the first time Gus had called him Daddy Justin.



Goodnight Gus.



Brian and Justin went back out to the main room and Brian answered the phone.  Justin watched his face for a minute to make sure that it wasn’t bad news and then went to sit in the living area to watch the lights blinking on the tree.  Brian came over with two glasses of bourbon a few minutes later and sat with him



That was Lindsey.  Mel went into labor.  Lindsey asked if we’ll keep Gus until New Years.  I told her we’d love to have him stay.



Pretty soon our boys will have a little sister, Justin signed.



Brian kissed Justin’s forehead and turned so that he was facing Justin instead of holding him.  I want to tell you something.  Justin looked a bit nervous so Brian leaned forward and kissed him again.  Nothing bad.  I just wanted to say thank you.



For what?



Brian smiled.  You remember that first night I posed for you? Justin nodded.  Do you remember what I said that night?



Every word. It was true.  Justin could remember everything that Brian had said that night.  His words had helped Justin form a lasting connection with the brunet.



“Figures,” Brian said wryly. That night I told you how shitty my family was and I told you how I wanted to be a better man than my father.  I didn’t know if I could claim that then, but I can now.  And that’s thanks to you.  I’m a better father, better lover and better man because of you.  You make me want to be a better person than even I thought I could be because you believe I can be that person without doubt or hesitation.



Brian…



Brian held Justin’s hands still before releasing them to sign, Justin, I love you. I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about you and I will never feel this way about another man.  You are my heart and soul. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  I want to watch our boys grow up together and I want grow old with you.  I don’t believe in weddings and all that romantic hetero bullshit, but if that’s what you want to show that I’m committed to this, then we’ll have the biggest fucking wedding this town has ever seen.  Just say that you’ll be here by my side.



Justin had tears in his eyes as he replied, I don’t need flowers or a big wedding to know that you are committed to me, to us.  If I had any real doubt about your commitment, I never would have let Danny get so attached to you.  Brian, you give me strength to face this life on my terms. You showed me that deafness doesn’t have to be a sentence to a lifetime of isolation and loneliness.  You gave me the world. I love you Brian and there is no place I want to be more than by your side for the rest of our lives.



Words became unnecessary after that as they once again allowed their bodies to communicate in ways that language could never equal.  The silence that had plagued both men had finally been filled with friendship and family and love. Justin knew he would never be alone again and Brian knew that he was loved completely and unconditionally.



The End