Brian. All of our worlds revolve around Brian Kinney. When I was in high school, oh so many years ago, he was what we called one of "the chosen". Everyone wanted to be his friend and if you were in his good graces, you walked on cloud nine. "Cloud nine", I wonder where that phrase came from? But I digress. Brian Kinney is the center of our little universe and we're all here to support each other in keeping that universe intact. I look around the waiting room, all of us anxious for a positive word, but all of us for different reasons.

Michael, his childhood friend. He's known Michael since they were fourteen and if you talk to Michael, you would think that he knows Brian better than anyone. After all they're "best friends". How can you identify a "best friend" when there is a waiting room full of people who all call you their friend? Michael was definitely a friend to Brian when he was growing up; he and Debbie took him in, offered him shelter and gave him love, something he sorely lacked at his own home. I don't know what happened during Brian's childhood, but I would say it wasn't much better than mine. At least I had Aunt Lula and she was my refuge. Michael's always secretly wanted Brian to fuck him, but Brian always says he won't fuck his friends. An interesting concept, as I would say that Sunshine is his best friend and he fucks him regularly, but I guess your partner is supposed to be your friend, and then it's different.

Anyway, Michael will defend Brian and his actions to anyone who will listen, regardless of the situation. Brian can do no wrong in his eyes, even though they have had their spells where they were mad at each other. I still don't know the whole story behind the time that Brian gave Michael a right hook, but they seemed to settle it and make up. Michael loves Brian, and I imagine they will always be friends. I guess that is an unconditional love of a good friend; at least that is what I see in their relationship. Michael is definitely Brian's friend, and Brian is his.

Now I'll move on to Ben. Ben is Michael's husband. Wait, you say. If Michael wants Brian to fuck him and he loves him, why is he married? Brian realized that Michael wasn't the man for him, long before Michael did. I'm not really sure that Michael doesn't have thoughts of Sunshine leaving the picture and of him winning the Kinney prize, but that's not important. Michael met Ben and Ben won him over. Good for Ben, as Michael is a sweet man and they appear good together. Ben is here because Brian is Michael's friend, and he's offering his support to his husband. Ben doesn't dislike anyone, and he doesn't hold Michael's feelings about Brian against his husband. He just accepts that Michael has certain areas in his brain that do not make sense. They are good together and they do love each other. It's a strange combination, but it works for them. If something happened to Brian... well I won't even go there.

Sitting next to Michael is Teddy. Teddy is Brian's accountant, but their friendship goes way beyond that of employee. I guess it started back when Teddy had his website and was arrested for hiring an underage kid. Oh me, that was a terrible time. Teddy was put in jail and I thought for sure that Stockwell was going to have him rot there. But then Brian used his influence as Stockwell's campaign manager to get Teddy out.

Then poor Teddy experienced a downward spiral and started using drugs. I'll never forget Brian taking me aside in Babylon and telling me to forget Teddy, that he was all but dead. I was so mad at Brian at that moment, but then I realized that he was right. If I didn't leave Teddy, I would be pulled down into his drug-filled work as well.

Brian isn't fickle though. He knew Teddy could be great and when he got clean and Brian needed an accountant for his new business, he went straight to my Teddy. Teddy shined there and he got his confidence up. Then the cancer showed up. Oh that was a bad time for Brian, but Teddy helped him out. He kept his secret for a long time; Brian eventually told everyone so really, Teddy kept his secret the whole time. Teddy practically ran Brian's business. Since then, they have been really close. Brian helped Teddy in his time of need and Teddy helped Brian. I guess that is what good friends are for. Teddy will help his friend in any way he can.

Mel is sitting next to Teddy. They met in college and have been friends ever since. Teddy advises her about her money and they occasionally do social things together. Mel, however, is not Brian's friend. At least not like the rest of us. Mel tolerates him since he is the biological father of Gus, the son she and Lindsay are raising. She makes snide remarks about Brian every chance she can get. I really wonder how Lindsay got her to agree to use Brian's sperm for their child. Anyway, Mel is here for Lindsay, not Brian. If something happened to Brian, I'm sure she would console Lindsay, but secretly be really happy that Brian was out of her life. But since Lindsay is another member of Brian's little family, she is waiting with the rest of us.

Lindsay and Brian met while in college. I think they dated for a little bit. Seems strange to me since from the way Brian tells it, he's been fucking men since he was fourteen. Oh well, the mysterious Mr. Kinney has secrets that only a few select people really know. I think that Lindsay secretly has a fantasy like Michael; that one day, Sunshine will be out of the picture and she, Gus and Brian will be the happy little family. That's never going to happen. I may not know Brian like Michael or Lindsay do, but I do know that Brian Kinney is not going to make Lindsay's wish come true.

Brian is Gus' father and Lindsay is his mother. That ties the two of them together forever. I find it really interesting that Brian agreed to be a sperm donor for Lindsay's baby, but I do not have the guts to ask him why he did it. You just do not ask Brian his motivations to do anything. Lindsay is very close to Brian, asks him for advice and talks to him regularly. She often brings Gus, his son, with her. I think Gus' presence feeds into her little fantasy world of the happy couple. She is friends with Brian, but I secretly think she wouldn't turn down a chance to be his lover. She would be lost without Brian.

Across from Mel and Linds is Debbie. While Debbie is actually Michael's mother, she is the surrogate mother of all of us boyz on Liberty Avenue. She's a waitress at Liberty Diner and tells all of us her opinion about everything, whether or not we ask for it. She's a second mother to Brian, having opened her home to him when he was a teenager. She and Brian have an interesting relationship; one minute she blames him for everything bad that happens, and the next she praises his generosity. Brian is her son almost as much as Michael is, and I would say they were friends with a very special and unique relationship.

Jennifer is sitting in the seat next to Debbie. Jennifer is Sunshine's mom. I don't think she liked Brian very much in the beginning, blaming him for taking Sunshine's innocence, but believe you me, he was never innocent. That boy knew it all way before he ever stepped foot on Liberty avenue. After all, Sunshine was just seventeen when he started seeing Brian. But let me tell you, Sunshine was never a kid. From the first time I met him, that night when Brian picked him up on Liberty Avenue, he knew what he wanted and he wanted Brian. But I digress, I'm talking about Jennifer. Jennifer blamed him for the bashing too. That was a nasty time for everyone, and Brian sort of blamed himself for the bashing too. But then, she turned about face and asked Brian to take Sunshine back. All of us were shocked, but of course, Brian took him back as she asked. Nowadays she praises Brian, never misses an opportunity to meet him for lunch or share drink with him. I've seen them around Liberty avenue, even though I would never dare stop and say hi when they were out by themselves. She's as worried as the rest of us about the doctor coming through that door. She is his friend and they have become as close as in-laws can be.

Me, you ask. Where do I fit into this circle of Brian Kinney? I have a unique relationship with Brian. Brian was one of the first people I met on Liberty Avenue. For some unknown reason he bought me a drink at Babylon the first night I was there. I say unknown, since as I've gotten to know the "Stud of Liberty Avenue", he would normally not look once at the likes of me nor would have ever acknowledged my presence. But he did and we shared a drink, and the next time I saw him we made short eye contact and he nodded at me.

Soon I met Michael and Teddy, and since they were friends with Brian, I became part of his circle. He's helped me many times, least of which was when he saved Teddy from jail, but then you already know about that incident. I never told anyone about what he did when George died. Shortly after George died, I was very sad and wouldn't come out of the house. Teddy came over many times but I wouldn't budge. One day Brian showed up, shocked the hell out of me, let me tell you. He shows up and starts talking to me about Georgie. Little stuff like asking what his favorite food was and what he liked to do best (garden). He just let me talk about Georgie, not offering any advice or telling me to get over him. He stayed about an hour and then left. Everybody else wanted me to just move on and forget Georgie, but Brian wanted me to remember. That was really special, just like Brian.

Last, but not least is Sunshine. Of course Sunshine is Brian's friend and his lover. Sunshine has had a rocky relationship with Brian, although he has always said he loved him. Sunshine and I have talked about Brian--shh don't tell anyone, Brian would kill both of us. Even when Sunshine was not with Brian--leaving him for the fiddler--he still cared for Brian. He just couldn't handle being with someone who wouldn't admit his true feelings. Eventually Sunshine and Brian figured it out and they were going to get married, but they changed their minds and then Sunshine went to New York. That was short-lived. Thank goodness. When Sunshine left Brian was very cranky, worse than normal, but when Sunshine returned a few months later, he became tolerable again. I'm not here to tell you that their relationship is perfect, but they both seem happier when they're together.

Sunshine is sitting sort of off by himself, his eyes still wet from the tears that he's shed. All of our little family has tried to sit with him, but he just gets up and walks away, pacing the floor of the waiting room and almost willing the doors to open and the doctor to come through. I go over there, trying to comfort him.

"Sunshine, it will be alright. Brian is too stubborn to let anything happen to him."

Justin lets out a half-laugh. "He is stubborn, Em. But... He's everything to me. Nothing can happen to him. I mean..."

I give him a hug, thinking that if Brian were here he would gently remove my arms from around Sunshine and glare at me. I never felt that I would cherish that glare more than I do at this moment. Justin allows my hug and then releases himself.

"Thanks, Em." Turning to the swinging doors, he spots the doctor from earlier and rushes over to him. "Doctor?" he asks in a voice that just breaks my heart.

The doctor motions to the side of the door and talks softly to Sunshine. My heart is in my throat until I see a small smile reach Sunshine's mouth and I let out a sign of relief. Our family is going to be okay for a little while longer. Sunshine walks over and gets our attention so that he only has to speak once.

"Brian is going to be okay. He collapsed from exhaustion. He needs to rest and take it easy. Why don't you all go home and you can talk to him later in the week."

"But Justin, I know he'd want to see me. I'm his best friend."

"No, Michael. No visitors. He needs his rest. I'll be sure to tell him that all of you say ‘hi'. Now, why don't you go so that I can see my partner."

They all left except me. I needed to see that Brian was really okay. I didn't want to spy, but let's just say that sometimes Sunshine can be a little protective. I watched as Sunshine entered the room and I stood outside for a few minutes.

"Hey," Sunshine said. I'm glad that his voice carried a little and that the walls echoed.

"Hey."

"You had me worried."

"No need to worry. I'm still here. Can I go back to work now? I've got a shitload to do before the presentation tomorrow."

"Nope. I'm taking you home."

"Justin!! I can't go home."

"The doctors tell me you that collapsed due to exhaustion. Now you don't have to come home, but if you don't you get to be a guest of Allegheny General for a few days."

"Shit."

"Shit is right. Your scared the shit out of me, collapsing right in front of the diner. I thought..."

I could hear soft crying and I knew it had to be Sunshine.

"Shh. It's okay. I'm okay."

"No you're not, but you will be. Now get yourself dressed and I'm taking you home. I told everyone not to come by or call for several days, so you should have peace and quiet."

Brian laughed really loud at this point. "You think telling them not to come by will make a difference? The family can't stay away for more than 24 hours at a time."

"I'll unplug the phone, disconnect the buzzer and turn off the cells. We won't know they're there."

"Sounds like an idea. Maybe I should keep you around for awhile. Without interruptions, I might get to pound your ass into the mattress without interruption."

Justin laughed a hearty laugh at Brian's suggestion. "Right now I'll settle for a taking a nice nap with you by my side. We'll talk about the sex later."

I heard rustling and I assumed Brian was getting out of bed to get dressed. I smiled, knowing that all was right in our little world again. Brian was still head of our family, and news of his demise was greatly exaggerated. I walked out of the hospital and went home.

The sun would come out tomorrow--just like it always did when Sunshine and Brian were together.

The end