A cloud of smoke lifted above Brian's head as he exhaled the breath filled with nicotine. He stood at the large windows, staring at the busy street below.

Cars blared their honks, acceleration toward their destination.

People hurried, walking with purpose, heading to excited places.

Brian inhaled from his cigarette. He had no purpose anymore, which it explained why he was at home on a Saturday night.

Another day has gone

I'm still all alone

How could this be

You're not here with me

You never said goodbye

Someone tell me why

Did you have to go

And leave my world so cold

He looked at the dark clouds, gathering over the city, announcing a storm.

Brian had never liked thunderstorms, but Justin had taught him better ways to spend those rainy days. Justin had showed him thunderstorms were beautiful and not something to be feared. Justin had taught him there was always sunshine coming after dark clouds.

With Justin gone, Brian's days were filled with dark storm clouds and when it rained, it poured.

Everyday I sit and ask myself

How did love slip away

Something whispers in my ear and says

That you are not alone

I am here with you

Though you're far away

I am here to stay

Even from miles away, Justin could lift his mood.

They often didn't find the time to talk much during the week, but it was as if he could sense when Brian needed a mood lifter. At the most random moments, he'd sent Brian text messages saying the silliest things, or he'd send him lengthily emails talking about his day, asking about Brian's day, making plans for the next time they'd see each other.

It had been a long month with Justin gone touring in Europe to show his talent to the other side of the world. He'd only sent Brian a few photos and a few words.

Brian refused to think of himself as weak and depending on someone, but he'd never missed anyone as much as he missed Justin at the moment.

But you are not alone

I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

But you are not alone

They had rarely left a day pass without any sign from one or the other, but Justin's trip had messed with their schedule.

Feeling like a teenager in love, abandoned by his boyfriend, which was completely uncharacteristic for Brian, he stubbed the cigarette on the ashtray sitting on his desk. He picked his phone, scrolling through the few messages and photos Justin had sent him from Europe.

The first text message was from the moment Justin had landed in London almost a month ago.

London should be rainy, but guess what? It's SUNNY. Boiling HOT. And I'm ready to crash after the long ass flight. Later xoxo

Several days had followed with no word from Justin, despite the few messages Brian had sent him, asking about his shows and if the gingers were hotter there.

The second message from London was a photo of Justin. It was clearly a selfie since his face was too close to the camera and most of his left side of the face wasn't in the photo. It showed that it actually rained in London and Justin's blond hair plastered to his forehead was proof of that, but it also showed that his Sunshine smile could make even the bad weather bearable. There was a tall building in the background, but Brian didn't pay attention to the details. Everything that had mattered when he'd received that photo was Justin's smile, the droplets of water running down his cheeks and nose, his dark blue eyes sparkling of happiness.

The third message, accompanied by a photo, had come almost a week later. Justin was in Rome, sitting on the edge of Fontana di Trevi. He was wearing thin white linen pants and shirt, a beige linen hat, large, dark sunglasses were covering his beautiful eyes, but the big smile Brian loved so much was present. Under the photo, Justin had written: I made a little wish ;)

The forth photo had come a couple days later from Paris. It seemed to be taken from a top of Eiffel Tower. There were no words accompanying it, only an emoticon of a broken heart.

Just had stayed several days in Paris, and sent Brian a few words about his shows and how wonderful everyone was in the capital of France.

Next on his tour followed cities like Munich, Frankfurt, Salzburg, Zurich. The only proof that Justin was touring via car were the pictures of mountains, lakes, cows, small stylish houses, and old churches.

The last cities on his map were Lisbon, Madrid, and Barcelona.

Justin had sent him an influx of pictures from the last Spanish city, saying he understood why Brian loved the country so much.

His tour ended back in London. That had been a week ago.

Brian pulled up the last text message from Justin.

I'll be back soon. I decided to visit important sights in England… to relax.

After that message nothing had followed, not even a photo from what Justin was visiting. All Brian's fears were coming out, eating at his gut.

They had never promised each other anything, because somehow, they always found their way back into each other's arms.

Just the other night

I thought I heard you cry

Asking me to come

And hold you in my arms

I can hear your prayers

Your burdens I will bear

But first I need your hand

Then forever can begin

Brian nearly dropped his phone when it vibrated in his hand.

Greetings from Dublin!

The message was followed by a picture of Justin drenched but grinning, standing in front of a building. It took Brian a moment to read the words: Irish Whiskey Museum. Then Brian noticed a bottle of whiskey in Justin's hand, raised in a salute.

He smiled, despite himself.

I hope that bottle is for me. He answered, not thinking of how prompt he was. He usually allowed a few hours to pass before he answered any of Justin's messages, not to look too eager.

You're awake!

Don't evade my question, twat! You're bringing that bottle safely home.

His sentence was laced with the heavy truth of how much he missed Justin and that Justin would always have a home at the loft where Brian was.

I must not tell lies. =)

Justin's message was followed by an awkward selfie of him holding the capped bottle tipped to his mouth as if he was drinking from it.

Brian smiled fondly at his silly partner.

You are not alone

I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

You are not alone

Any idea when you're coming back? Brian hesitated a whole minute before sending his message.

There was no reply, but Brian had grown used for Justin to abruptly cut their conversations short. If something distracted him, it could take him hours to answer back as if he hadn't missed a beat of their conversation. Brian used to be upset when that happened in the beginning, but he'd grown to love how distracted and scatterbrained could Justin get.

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'

And girl you know that I'll be there

I'll be there

Brian went about his nightly routine, feeling slightly better than he had since Justin's message about visiting England. At least, he knew he was safe and found the time of day to write Brian about his whereabouts.

After showering, Brian stepped into a pair of boxers.

He was debating whether to read some more from the book he'd started, or roll a joint and relax, when there was a knock on the door.

Every fiber in him screamed to be silent and hope for whoever was trying to intrude in his serene night would go away, but part of him nudged him to open the door.

Brian unlocked then pulled at the metal door, ready to scold Michael for interrupting his night.

His words got stuck in his throat and his mouth remained open, moving soundlessly, as his eyes took in the sight before him.

Justin.

A tanned, smiling, too thin Justin standing on his doorstep. There was a backpack on his shoulders and two large luggage behind him, showing Brian he'd come home straight from Dublin.

“Surprise!” Justin broke the silence, opening his arms.

Brian moved forward, falling into his lover's embrace, returning the fierce hug, burrowing his face into Justin's hair.

“Sunshine,” he whispered, squeezing him tightly, still not quite believing he was touching him.

The last time they had seen each other had been on Christmas; half a year had passed since then.

“I have amazing news!” Justin pulled away a tiny bit to look into Brian's eyes. “After this tour and all these shows, after the years spent in New York, I've finally reached that point in my life when I'm confident enough that I've made a name for myself. I can create art from anywhere, but it's never as good as it is when I'm around you. So I decided, that after five years of putting us through hell and back, I'm coming home. Actually, I'm already here. I'm not going anywhere.”

Brian cupped his cheek, stroking his soft skin. “About time, Sunshine.”

Justin smiled bashfully, averting his eyes. He pulled something from his backpack thrusting it toward Brian. “Can we start celebrating with this?”

It was the bottle from the picture Justin had sent earlier.

Brian accepted it, eyeing it appreciatively. “Thanks for the booze.” He made a show of taking a few steps back into the loft and almost closing the door.

“I've also got this.” Justin stopping Brian's jest with a hand on the door. He showed Brian a box of condoms.

“Now, how can I refuse such an invitation?”

“You can't.” Justin winked. “Help me with the bags.”

.

.

.

I Just Want To Lay Next To You

For Awhile

You Look So Beautiful Tonight

Your Eyes Are So Lovely

Your Mouth Is So Sweet

A Lot Of People

Misunderstand Me

That's Because They Don't

Know Me At All

I Just Want To Touch You

And Hold You

I Need You

God I Need You

I Love You So Much

Hours later found the two of them entwined in bed, skin sliding against skin, hands touching, remembering the other's body, keeping eye-contact.

For the first time, both of them knew that what they had wasn't going away, if anything their relationship was stronger than ever.

If Brian had ever doubted the durability of their trust and love, he was sure of what they had.

As he held Justin close, he wanted it all with him – he wanted everything he used to fear. Brian was ready to embrace a new stage of his life filled with loving Justin openly, committing himself to Justin completely, giving him anything he wanted, not matter how crazy he used to think it sounded.

Justin brushed the back of his fingers over Brian's cheek, smiling brightly. “I love you, Brian.”

Brian swallowed, leaning to steal a kiss, tasting Justin's slightly salty lips from crying happy tears over their reunion. “As I love you.”

You Know How I Feel

This Thing Can't Go Wrong

I'm So Proud To Say

I Love You

Your Love's Got Me High

I Long To Get By

This Time Is Forever

Love Is The Answer

I Just Can't Stop Loving You