JUSTIN

I looked down as Brian fucked Rage, and it wasn't something I didn't expect. I really couldn't be angry, because he wasn't cheating the way I did. In a way, everything was my fault. I wanted him to be someone he told wasn’t who he is, only I wouldn’t listen. So seeing him be him, told me it was time to find me.

When I was leaving, Ethan showed up, and offered me what I wanted from Brian, to be more than the guy Brian fucked more than once. I had a decision to make and this time in front of Brian, who was watching. I left with Ethan, but not to stay with him, but as a way for Brian to let me go. The gang will never get how I see it that way, but he gave me choices, since Michael told him about Ethan. I could stay and he'd let me, but neither of us were happy anymore. Brian wanted the relationship to stay the same, only giving me enough to know he cares but not more because he doesn't think he can. I know Ethan only happened because he told me things Brian never will. In fairness to Brian, I'm giving him back the life that makes him happy, without a cheating… It hurts that he even makes me question what I was in his life, but it didn't mean he deserved what I did to him.

Ethan stood outside in the cold while I ran through the last two years trying to figure out who I was.

“I should have left you alone.” Ethan tells me, sadly.

“If it wasn’t you, eventually something would have made me leave him. It just it feels like I used you to get what I wanted from him. You deserve better and I hope you find it.” I tell him.

“He'd take you back, even I could see he was giving you the choice.” He tells me, walking away.

But did Brian ever have the choice? Other than the first night, everything he did was to keep me safe, letting me move in when he didn’t want anyone in his space, or the responsibilities that my life forced on him. It’s what had me hurrying to Brian’s loft and get my things, by the time I was done the loft barely showed signs that I stayed there. I wanted to give Brian what he wanted for once, which was never a teenager trying to force him to love me. I put the key on his counter, which I didn't want to let go of, but had to if I was going to give him up. It was time to take the internship that would take me out of Brian’s orbit. I had the feeling I was right when he almost left for New York, that once I was no longer there he wouldn’t remember me as anything but the kid who wouldn't leave him alone. It's just, I wasn’t going to find someone else to love because loving someone other than Brian just wasn't me. I didn’t leave upset, but remembering the man I knew behind the mask.

BRIAN

Pain was a friend who never let me down, so Justin finally seeing it was time to leave me behind, brought my real best friend home. He needed to get away from me. Why lie, I needed him to go. I couldn’t keep staring into his eyes feeling the blame he wouldn’t let me have. It was hard to not be selfish and keep him. He brought sun in my world by not letting me dwell in the only world that I understood.

When I left Babylon hours and tricks later, it was to the darkness of my loft. He took everything that made it more than my showplace, in essence making it a home. I let myself believe he did us both a favor, and returned to the life I made everyone believe was me. I knew he was a chance at making a life that I didn’t want, right, lying to yourself never worked. I didn’t believe I could give him things I stopped believing in.  

My life was everything it was before Justin, almost to the point Mikey lost Ben. It proved to me I was a selfish asshole, when I almost didn't care if Mikey lost someone who would give him what Mikey always wanted. But Mikey finally grew some balls and chose Ben over watching me trying to erase the memory of Justin.

It's when I found out Justin was erasing everything that connected us to each other. He stopped by to see Lindsay and Mel, asking them to let him take Gus out, which he did often. So neither saw it as anything but normal, despite that we weren’t together anymore. Lindsay tried to get me to talk to Justin, saying the three words I never have to Justin. Of course in true Kinney fashion I denied loving him, but then admitted it didn’t matter because he made his choice. A choice to have a normal boyfriend who didn’t have problems telling Justin that he was loved.

A week went by, and Justin not being at the diner or really anywhere helped me to keep up appearances. Two weeks and I was worried, because no one had heard from Justin. Deb said he quit by calling the owner, but hadn't called her. It pissed me off, the hurt in Deb's eyes. Leaving me was one thing, but Deb loved him and he at least should have made sure she didn’t feel the yawning black hole he left behind.

Mikey was a whole different story, he no longer hid how he really felt about Justin. Somehow thinking it was helping me, by saying the crap instead of pretending he liked Justin. I watched as Emmett would just act like he didn’t hear it. It was Ted who seemed bothered, but since Ted and I really didn’t talk to each other, I couldn't see asking him why he wasn't doing what Emmett did and ignoring Mikey’s rants about Justin. As strange as it was, I started taking Ted out with me, since he seemed silent on the whole subject of Justin.

I went to the girls garden party, bringing a couple, not tricks, just wanting to see Justin. I couldn’t ask why he wasn’t there, because it would just start conversations I planned to avoid. I even stayed after with the gang to help the girls clean up, thinking Lindsay would at least mention Justin, in her passive aggressive way, to try to get me to talk about him. It ended up being Mikey who asked because of Rage.

“He came to see Gus and that's the last time we saw him. I've been worried because he always makes time for Gus.” Lindsay tells us, staring at me.

“Who cares, all he ever did was use Brian and then cheat on him. It makes me wonder why you bothered to save him.” Mikey says, not noticing the looks everyone had. Emmett seemed to notice mine and stopped me from kicking his ass out.

“Get out of my house!” Lindsay screamed, crying.

“How the fuck could you say something like that?” Mel asks, vibrating with anger.

“Because he shit all over everything Brian gave him. Even my mother, so I'm not going to pretend he was more than Brian’s noose.” He tells us.

“Or wanting to believe he's the only reason Brian can't love you.” Ted said quietly, before walking out.

“Brian, he finally saw you didn’t want him around, it's the first thing he got right, by leaving us alone.” Michael yells, as I went after Ted.

“I guess it's my turn to follow in Justin’s footsteps.” Ben say, sadly.

I didn’t hear the rest of what was said, because it took running to catch up to Ted before he sped off.

“Where is he?” I ask.

“Not in Pittsburgh, and really, you should be happy. He gave you what you wanted.” Ted tells me.

“I never wanted him gone.” I tell him.

“Nothing you did made him see you wanted him here either. Do him a favor and let him see a life that isn't the one you showed him.” Ted tells me, all I could do was nod. It seemed Justin figured out I was pulling him down.

It took barely a week before everyone acted like Michael losing Ben was worse than what he said about Justin. I loved how none of them told Deb what was said about Sunshine, but then it was the norm not to say anything that had Mikey being the bad guy. It took me longer to even speak to Michael again, but I only did because I didn’t need anyone seeing what Justin’s leaving did to me.

After that, the next contact Justin had with anyone was sending Michael the rights to Rage, a month later. There was no letter just a contract giving Michael all the rights to Rage. I fumed that Justin gave up everything while Michael sat around telling everyone he never needed Justin. It became obvious he did when the next issue didn’t sell half what the first one did and the next didn’t really even sell enough to pay the cost of producing it. I broke one last rule in the many rules of my life, and turned up on Jen’s doorstep. My relationship with Jen had it’s ups and downs, but we managed to find a middle ground in wanting the best for Justin.

“I only want to know he’s okay, it doesn’t matter what happened, I'll always care about him.” I tell her.

“Fair enough, he’s been good and only wants to get on with his life.” She tells me.

“Thanks.” I tell her, walking away.

“Brian, he wanted you to have what you want in life, and just felt it was better this way.” She tells me.

“Tell him I hope he gets everything he wanted. Even if it means without me.” I tell her, getting in the car.

My life went on, no one ever getting the position only Justin had in my life. I became the father I never thought I could be, because Gus needed me to help fill the void Justin left. It wasn’t until I opened my own company and hired Ted that I heard Justin’s name again. He was arguing with Emmett as they walked in, and Ted said Justin and then stopped talking when he saw me.

TED

Justin Taylor, twink, stalker, and generally someone I really didn’t pay a lot of attention to. It wasn’t like we had a lot in common, he was Brian’s toy. So when he came to see me after the whole Rage night, I was surprised. He told me he just wanted to say he was sorry we never really got to know each other and to make sure no one thought it was all Brian’s fault, when Brian had never promised Justin anything but a good time. It wasn’t like we became friends from that one conversation, but he seemed determined to turn into a friend when I needed someone. I never understood how it happened. I was in the middle of a crystal haze, hating Emmett for making his business successful. I don’t even remember how he found me. I went to the White Party in Palm Springs after stealing from Gus, no longer giving a shit that I had broken everyone’s trust in me. I must have taken so much shit that I blacked out. I woke up to Justin sitting next to me at the hospital. I really believed I was still tripping, since he’d been gone for close to six months without one word.

“I’d ask what your doing here, but I’m sure I’m still tripping.” I joke.

“You scared the shit out of me, so I’m sure I’m real. What the fuck happened to you?” Justin asks, angry at me.

“I’m just enjoying my failure of a life.” I tell him.

“I never saw ODing as a way to enjoy living, but to each his own. By the way your new ‘friends’, apparently left you to die in the bathroom of my cousin’s club. I really thought it was joke when Wes told me your name. Then we came to see you being loaded up into the ambulance. I only came because I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He tells me.

“Things are different than before you ran off. I lost everything. and most likely Emmett.” I tell him.

“Somehow I never saw that one coming, Mikey and Brian possibly, you and Emmett, not so much.” He tells me.

“Did you and Ethan move here?” I ask.

“We parted ways the night I left Brian. I couldn’t give Ethan what Brian owned.” He tells me.

“He's asked about you.” I tell him.

“While partying, tricking, and in general being Brian Kinney. It’s how his life should have been.” Justin tells me, actually seeming happy about it.

“Are you ever going to see him again?” I ask Justin.

“I do, every night in my dreams, but right now I’m worried about you. I barely recognized you, you’ve lost weight and truthfully look like the walking dead. I want to help you, but unless you want it, I’m not going to waste my time.” He tells me.

“I’m doing great.” I lie.

“Okay, I left you my phone number, call me when you figure out you aren’t.” He tells me, going to the door.

“Sometimes, you can tell he misses you.” I tell Justin.

“I’m sure you can always tell Emmett misses the Teddy he loved.” He says, without commenting on what I said.

I got out of the hospital and found out my new friends left me after stealing every dime from the money I stole. The hotel told me I could have my stuff back when I paid for the mess my group made. It was a moment where I found out there was more to Justin than his butt. He brought his cousin Wes, who paid the bill and told me I would be staying with him and Justin until we worked out how I was paying him back. Then the asshole offered a lockdown rehab or the street. I chose rehab because I didn’t need to see what Justin would say as to why I couldn’t call home. Stealing from Gus wasn’t something I could see Justin thinking I was worth the help they were offering me. I finished rehab and worked for Wes as his accountant to pay back not only him but Mel, Lindsay, and Emmett. Before I left Justin he asked me to not to tell anyone where he was, and I didn’t want to betray the trust of my friend. Over time, Emmett, Mel, and Lindsay found ways to forgive what I did. Brian, on the other hand, didn’t really act like he noticed I was missing, but offered me a job in the new company he was starting.

I would call and tell Justin my news, being careful not to cross the lines of our friendship by telling him about Brian’s life. I managed that for over five years, until Emmett answered my phone and realize who he was talking to.

“Why didn’t you say you knew where Justin was?” Emmett asks me, as we walk into Kinnetik.

“You never asked about him after he left, and he didn’t really want anyone to know.” I tell him.

“I didn’t want to listen to Michael talk about him anymore.” Emmett tells me.

“Justin…” Fuck, I know that look on Brian’s face, it’s when he wants an account.

“So how is the twat?” Brian asks.

“Learning to be Justin.” I tell him, walking away.

JUSTIN

When I decided to come to California it was really just because my cousin lived here and the internship was to work at a studio under people who created all the art that gave movies life. It’s not that I didn’t want to be a painter, but I also wanted to expand my art to include more. Wes didn’t see the reason for me to rent a roach motel when he had a house that he lived in alone. It was fun to be around Wes, because he didn’t care what anyone thought of him. He left the country club life and made his own way. His clubs weren’t designed with labels of straight or gay but only as places to dance and have fun. It wasn’t like Babylon, where you only came because you were gay. The only thing Wes hated was anyone doing drugs in his clubs. What they did before they entered was their business.

It’s how I ended up coming with him to find out why the police and an ambulance were called at one of his clubs. Wes had been on my ass when he found out about what I’d been doing when I was with Brian. He told me he didn’t blame Brian, because it was my job to act like an adult when I took off thinking I was one. I hung out with the bouncers when Wes went to find out what happened. When he said some guy named Ted Schmidt OD’d in the bathroom, I really didn’t believe it could be the guy I met through Brian. When they were wheeling him out, the police told Wes, the people with Ted didn’t stick around. I didn’t even think but got in the ambulance because no one deserved to be alone. Wes followed, wanting to know why I cared when I admitted really not knowing Ted that well.

“I couldn’t let him be alone when he could at least have someone there. It’s the one thing Brian did, stayed until I woke up. Nothing about Ted ever told me I’d meet him again like this.” I tell Wes.

“Justin, the guy in that room didn’t JUST start doing crystal. That’s what you look like after you’ve been fucking up your body with that shit for a while.” He tells me.

“If he wants help, I’m going to be there for him.” I tell him.

“Good luck, hopefully OD’ing will get him to wake up.” He tells me.

“Let’s hope the second time's a charm.” I tell him, wincing when he rolled his eyes at me.

Did I expect Ted to take me up on my offer for help, not really, but the person I was learning was me, cared about people. Only, unlike Brian, I don’t mind people knowing that about me. I could hear Brian calling me a twat in my head for helping someone who caused the bullshit in their lives. Instead of taking as Brian insulting me, I realized that for him it was a compliment for not compromising my principles based on what he thought.

When Ted agreed to rehab I decided to be there for him. I wanted him really straighten out his life and see that what he was doing wasn’t making him anything, it was just ruining his life. Why that was important to me, because Brian saw something that made him keep Ted around when he acted like he didn’t like Ted. I didn’t want Brian to lose the people in his life. Which sounds funny coming from me, since I left. It was just, I didn’t know if I was me with Brian, or the person I thought Brian wanted me to be. I’m sure everyone thought it was the tricking that was the problem, but it really wasn’t, because I understood they meant nothing to Brian. He offered me a place that no one ever had, to be the person he came home to. I left because I broke promises to a man who never broke one to me. I didn’t feel he deserved someone who didn’t give him the same things he gave me. I was also unsure of who I was anymore, I lied when he wouldn’t have said anything if I told him I was fucking another guy. It was someone I never wanted to be.

Maybe part of it was not wanting everyone to somehow blame him for what I did. By leaving I hoped they would put the real blame where it belonged, on the one who cheated. I let Ted fill in some of what happened, but asked him to refrain from trying to show me Brian cared more than anyone believed. I didn’t need him to tell me, I knew, even when Brian tried to act like I was a pain in his ass. Ted and I formed a bond that I doubt we could have in Pittsburgh. We were friends without worrying about how anyone would see it. He told me what Michael said about me and it really wasn’t like I didn’t expect it from the man who pretty much saw me as the one who took away his best friend. It wasn’t like Michael ever had a reason to see me as more than the brat who got everything that Michael felt belonged to him. It’s why I called the owner to quit and not Deb. I hoped it would give Michael back the mother he decided I took while I was taking everything else from him.

When I came here, my only thought was to finish college. I’d been teetering on quitting even before knowing that without Brian I couldn’t afford it. Wes made me a deal like I had with Brian, that he’d pay for it and my expenses until I graduated. I worked so he would only have to pay for college, I didn’t need another person paying for everything the way Brian did.

It really upset me when I found out Michael screwed up Rage. He killed of JT in the second issue, leaving Rage to fight battles that didn’t really make sense. It was funny to me when Brett Keller came to talk to one of the art directors about the movie he was making and walked by me when I was looking at the second issue of Rage.

“I liked Rage, until the second issue. You a fan?” He asks.

“I was the illustrator for the first issue.” I told him.

“What happened in the second issue? The illustrations looked almost like a child drew it.” He tells me.

“Artistic differences, the writer didn’t feel I should be the one drawing it.” I tell him.

“His mistake, you're good.” He tells me, leaving.

After that I pretty much thought he forgot talking to me. I found out I was wrong when after graduating college, he offered me a job working as an assistant to the art director doing his movie. It wasn’t like we became friends or I was hanging out with him, it was him offering me a job because he liked my work for Rage and what I’d been doing the whole time I interned at the studio. It was great, because I was making friends with people and didn’t feel like it was because of Brian. I had more than Daphne.

Daphne, she was one of the hardest ones, I couldn’t leave her behind because she was my best friend. She thought I was an idiot for running away and not facing what I did. As my friend she didn’t spare me from the blame that belonged to me. She also asked me if I ever thought that the bashing was why Brian closed himself off from what she was convinced he felt that night. Thinking about it, I knew Brian blamed himself, but you know in my head the fucker holding the bat was where it all belonged. Not that the judge agreed, as far as he was concerned it was my fault for flaunting myself and confusing the poor boy, how he managed to explain a bat at prom will forever be a mystery. It’s why Brian and I stopped talking about it, he couldn’t believe making my night by showing up outweighed the reason the judge believed Chris tried to kill me.

I made my first mistake in five years of trying to find myself. I didn’t hang up when Emmett answered Ted’s phone. It was just nice to hear Emmett, who was always the happiest gay man on the planet. We were sort of friends when Michael wasn’t around, but Emmett was loyal to his friends and the new kid Brian was fucking didn’t mean he went out of his way to alienate the friendship he and Michael had had for years. So when he realized it was me I didn’t hang up but let him know my life was really good. Ted called and told me Brian knew he had contact with me, and I told Ted it was fine, I wasn’t hiding, but wanting to see what life was like without Brian trying to protect me. I waited, because even if Brian didn’t care the way he once did, he still was Brian, and would demand answers before telling me I was a twat for wanting to find my own way. It’s why after close to six years I still love Brian, because he taught me to never let someone else think for you. I thought about it, my job could be done from anywhere, maybe it was time to at least give Brian the explanations that he deserved, instead of the silence my teenage mind thought was better.

BRIAN

I gave Ted a couple of days to think once again that I never gave a shit about Justin. There were a lot of things I didn’t give a shit about, but Justin was never going to be one of them. I might have never talked about him, but he was there. It wasn’t as the twink who wouldn’t leave, but as the kid who stayed even when what I did was fucked up.

It's not a friendship I ever saw, Justin and Ted. I kept going through all their interactions, not seeing it. Ted was well, Ted, I couldn't see a conversation on accounting being something the twat wouldn’t fall asleep listening to. So I decided to find out how this friendship got off the ground and the reason Ted never mentioned it.

“Why you?” I ask.

“He didn’t want me to be alone when I ended up in the hospital. So unlike you, he sat and waited for me. Then offered me a chance to fix everything. Who knows, maybe he just couldn’t watch me treat everything in my life as if nothing mattered.” He tells me.

None of it made sense, Justin wasn’t even around when Ted OD’d. It really wasn't any way to give me a clue, and I respected Justin by not having an investigator find him, but he's leaving his own trail through Ted.

I was at Woody’s with the guys, Michael was upset that apparently Ben had met someone, and they were adopting a kid. He was still blaming Justin for their break up. For the first time since Justin left, Emmett defended Justin.

“It’s amazing how Justin is still responsible for the things you do. Ben should have said he was leaving because he couldn't find the man he thought he was dating in someone who could talk about anyone the way you did Justin.” He tells Michael.

“He probably didn't see being friends with this group when a week later all was forgiven.” I said without thinking.

“It was the truth, he never deserved everything Brian did for him.” Mikey says waiting for me to agree.

“At least he wasn’t surprised about it coming out of Michael’s mouth.” Ted said, under his breath.

“What?” Emmett asks, looking worried that Justin might know that Michael was let off the hook.

“He said it was something he would expect from Michael.” Ted tells him, not caring that Michael would question how Ted knew anything.

“How do you know?” Michael asks.

Ted seem to debate how to answer. “Fuck it. He told me he didn’t mind if I said anything. Remember when I disappeared? When I stole Gus’s money and took off to a White Party. I ended up in a bathroom at a club, taking more shit on top of the stuff I already did. I got left to die in the bathroom and woke up to Justin pissed at me for ruining my life. He offered to help me, even though we barely knew each other. He got my ass in rehab and stayed with me until I cleaned up the mess I left here in Pittsburgh. I wanted to show Justin I could be the friend he was to me, so I told him about things that went on after he left. Especially the one I never forgave Michael for.” Ted tells us.

“I’m sure he really just wanted to hear about Brian. I hope his little heart wasn’t broken when he found out him leaving didn’t change much.” Michael tells us, smirking.

“Actually no, he was happy that Brian got the life he wanted. Very little of our conversations after than one were more than just the two of us catching up on what was going on in our lives. Other than wanting to know about Gus, he tends to forget he knew you, Michael.” Ted tells him, smirking bigger.

My phone rang and I didn’t recognize the number. “Where was the White Party?” I asked, before answering.

“Palm Springs, wasn’t it Teddy?” Emmett asks.

“Brian, you let him go, why bother now?” Michael whines, loud enough for people walking by on the street to hear.

“Sounds like Mikey still can’t say anything without busting your eardrum.” Justin said over the phone.

“Give me a minute, DO NOT fucking hang up.” I tell him, walking away from everyone. “So Sunshine, decided that I finally ranked a phone call?” I sneered.

“I figured with Emmett talking to me, it wasn’t like anyone wouldn’t eventually know and pester Ted to death. Calling you means I can ask about Gus.” He tells me.

“See, I don’t see a reason you deserve to know about my son. I don’t really share important things with strangers.” I tell him.

“That’s fine, I’ll call Lindsay or Mel. I’ll let you go, since you really didn’t want to hear from me.” He tells me, hanging up.

I dialed him back. “You really think you get out of dealing with me? You fucking leave, dropping out of college, my son’s life, and our life together. YOU don’t get to hang up when you don’t like what you’re hearing. Why am I surprised, it’s what you do, avoid it when you don’t hear what you want.” I tell him.

“I did, but then there wasn’t really a whole lot of talking going on.” He laughs.

“There will be when I get there.” I tell him.

“How about I make it easier?” Justin asks me, stepping up to me on the sidewalk, still smiling.

God damn it, six years and the only thing that came up was my little head. I grabbed his hand and dragged him to my car. He really needed to get that smile off his face, so I grabbed it and swallowed it in a kiss, one that took six years too long to have again.

“This doesn’t mean you don’t have explaining to do.” I tell him, staring into the pools of blue as I leaned down to kiss him again.

BRIAN

Justin walked in behind me, neither of us saying a word. He looked around at the place that really hadn’t changed in six years. I didn’t waste time, it had been long enough with mediocre sex. I tore off my shirt and pants and didn’t give the twat time to think as I took care of his clothes. Justin had been passive in the car, but that ended when he pushed me down on the cushions and took me in his mouth. He looked up at me as he ran his tongue down my cock, it always showed in his eyes when I wanted to see the truth. One of Justin's truths was that he gets off on being in control of his partner in sex. He knows the guy giving head determines every sensation, and when you cum. In essence, it's the one time I gave up control. He stroked me as he took each ball into his mouth and rolled them around his tongue, then licked the droplets off as they leaked out of my cock, before swallowing until he had all of me down his throat. It was then he worked my cock with his mouth faster while massaging my balls to get what he was working for. I came like a fountain as he swallowed everything, continuing until there wasn't anything left.

I flipped him onto his stomach and spread his ass open before diving in and using my tongue to open him up. He gasped as I breached him with my tongue, but I wasn’t going to give him more until I tortured him for making me wait six years. Pulling back, I pulled the lube out from under the cushions and used my fingers to open him, finding his prostate and tapping it to make him hard as hell. Then, when he was whimpering, I finally grabbed a condom and slammed home. Justin screamed as I jackhammered him, making sure to rub all the right places that had him grabbing himself in time with my thrusts. When he came his walls squeezed like a vice around my cock and four more thrusts and I came again, collapsing on top of him.

We eventually made it to the shower, where Justin turned me to the wall eating me out before putting on a condom and entering me. He gave me as much time as I gave him, before gripping my hips and pumping his dick in quick thrusts. After he came, he continued until I did. He washed us both off before exiting the shower and leaving the bathroom. I stayed, letting the hot water soothe the soreness I hadn’t felt since Justin. Grabbing a towel, I went to see what Justin was doing. I found him getting dressed.

“Where are you going?” I ask.

“Just getting ready, since if nothing’s changed, the next part is pretty predictable.” He tells me.

“I meant it when I said we were going to talk.” I tell him.

“I'm sure you did, but with you there's a given.” He smirks when my door starts rolling open.

“Where the fuck did you go?” Michael asks, not even looking at Justin, who walked by him and out the door, before stopping. “Talk later. Hey Michael.” He says, running down the stairs.

“Brian…” 3,2,1. “What the fuck is he doing here?” Michael goes off like clockwork. Score one for Justin.

“I guess I'll find out after you leave. Is there some reason you came?” I ask, turning to go get dressed.

“You need to make sure he understands he doesn't get to just waltz back into our lives. I mean it Brian, you don’t need his bullshit again, when you finally got rid of him.” Mikey tells me, following me into my bedroom.

“What I do or don't do is my decision. In case you need me to clarify, STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT. Don't go running to Justin with some speech about what he can expect from me. I let you do that before because until Justin, it didn’t matter. Now it will.” I tell him, throwing on a shirt.

“He cheated on you, remember. Why would you want him around? You can get anyone you want, but not him.” He tells me, crossing his arms and scowling.

“It's something you won’t get, because it was about things in Justin’s and my life. Cheating is more than sex Michael, ask Ben, he probably felt cheated in his relationship with you.” I tell him, pulling him to the door. “Can I see your key, I need to lock up.” I tell him.

He hands them to me, standing there waiting. I took his key off the ring, locked up and pocketed it. Handing them back, Michael didn’t even notice as he got ready to launch into more ‘Justin is the twink who should burn in hell’. He followed me out, I was looking to see if Justin was still out here, but the twat left. Michael started going off, and really I had a twat to find and talk to, so I left him there, hopped in my car, and took off as he chased me down the street.

I could spend all night trying to figure out where Justin went or call the one person he talked to.

“Did Michael find you?” Ted asks, when he answered.

“He showed up at the loft. I need you to give me a clue, where is my twat?” I ask.

“Is this some lesbian joke?” He asks.

“Thanks.” I hang up, knowing where Justin had probably headed.

JUSTIN

When I left I went to get my rental. I wanted to see more than pictures of Gus. Ted sent pictures, but it just wasn't the same as being here. I missed Gus and wanted to see the baby I named. It was late, but hopefully Lindsay and Mel wouldn’t get pissed at me. Lindsay stood at the open door, staring at me as if she didn’t believe it was me, before grabbing my arm and dragging me in. Mel was coming down the stairs scowling, until she saw me and ran to hug me.

“I was hoping you weren’t too angry at me.” I whisper, hugging her.

“Only that you didn’t call.” Lindsay tells me,smiling.

“I wanted to, but I needed time.” I tell them.

“Does Brian know?” Lindsay asks.

“Who cares, let's just be happy Justin’s here.” Mel tells her.

“Before we talk, can I go see Gus? I won't wake him up.” I tell them.

They both nodded as I ran up the stairs. Gus was spread out on his bed, blankets on the floor, his leather bear next to him. He looked so much like Brian, it made me giggle at the headaches he'd give Mel and Lindsay as he became a teenager. I grabbed the blankets and covered him up, pulling out my Gus bear and leaving it.

Lindsay was making coffee and pulled out snacks. Mel pulled out a chair and pointed at it to sit my ass down.

“Where have you been?” Mel asks.

“Palm Springs with a cousin. I got an internship and finished college.” I tell her.

“What happened with Ethan?” Lindsay asks.

“Nothing. It wasn't what either of us wanted.” I tell her.

“Are you here for long?” Mel asks.

“I'm not sure how long I plan to stay. I missed everyone so I came. How are you guys doing?” I ask them.

“We're good. We're thinking about having another baby.” Lindsay tells me.

“Only we can't agree how to do it, Lindsay wants Brian.” Mel says, not looking to thrilled.

“It would make sense, the baby would be related to Gus.” Lindsay argues.

“It would also mean Brian here more.” Mel tells her.

“He's spending time with Gus, I'm glad.” I tell her.

“It's why I haven't said no, he's actually a good father.” Mel tells me.

“Did that hurt to say.” I joke.

“You don’t know how much.” Mel laughs.

“So tell us what you've been doing since you left?” Lindsay asks.

“It would be nice to know.” Brian says from the doorway.

“Mostly getting my degree, working on a movie, and helping my cousin with his club.” I tell them.

“So busy that picking up a phone and telling the people who cared about you that you weren’t dead was more than they could expect?” Brian sneered.

“Brian.” Lindsay tries to stop him.

“No, I could’ve, he’s right. I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone, when I did things that disappointed them.” I tell him.

“Justin, you didn’t disappoint us.” Mel tells me.

“I wasn’t happy with what I did, nothing Brian did meant it was okay that I cheated on him.” I tell them.

“Sometimes we all do stupid things.” Mel tells me.

“Like taking off, instead of staying.” Brian tells me.

“I planned to explain everything to you. It’s just not something I wanted to do with Michael around.” I tell him.

“But Lindsay and Mel are okay? Why, because they’ll protect you from me?” He asks.

“I came to see Gus, and to at least see if Mel and Lindsay were jumping on what I’m sure is Michael's campaign to kick my ass out of town. I guess I should tell you now, I have no problem telling you exactly what I think of the ‘Brian and Mikey show’, since I’m no longer worried about how you’ll jump to his defence, over mine.” I tell him.

Mel and Lindsay both didn’t say anything, but you could see it on their faces, they knew what I was talking about.

“Since I don’t plan to argue with you in the house where Gus is sleeping, it might be better to do this later.” I tell him.

Brian got up, and I thought it was to leave, but instead he went up the stairs.

“He checks on Gus anytime he comes over.” Lindsay says quietly.

“If he agrees to be the father, it’s something you should think about. I always knew he’d be a good one.” I tell Mel.

“But not a good partner.” She tells me.

“He never made promises unless he planned to keep them. I made them and broke them, so I don’t agree.” I tell her.

“Where are you staying tonight?” Lindsay asks.

“He’s coming with me.” Brian tells her.

I didn’t argue, because he was the reason I came. One thing I figured out when I was away, was that I didn’t like Michael. When I was here I didn’t rock the boat, because Brian acted like a dick if anyone upset Michael. I didn’t want the anger he turned on others on me, but now it’s different. I could live without Brian, not that I liked living without Brian, but I could survive if he no longer wanted anything to do with me. I also think it’s time for the rest of the family to see that Brian shouldn’t be the person to bear the blame for what Michael did.

“You and Michael weren’t competing for the places in my life that you each had.” He tells me.

“I got tired of feeling that in order to hold second place, I had to be nice to a guy who made sure to only tell you anything that made you push me away. Him telling you about Ethan was the only time I could really take the blame for you wanting me out of your life.” I tell him.

“I never told you to go, that was what you wanted.” He tells me.

“So did you, I went, but not with Ethan. I wanted to know that if we broke up… stopped what we were doing, I would be able to go on.” I tell him, changing it when he scowled.

“What did you figure out that it took six years?” He asks sarcastically.

“That my world didn’t have to center around yours. That I could have friends that weren’t really yours. That I didn’t like some of the things you and I were doing together, but did them because it made you happy.” I tell him.

“I never made you trick.” He tells me.

“I did everything on my own. My cousin, Wes, pounded into my head, that if I wanted to be an adult than I needed to take the responsibility of one. I was talking about the drugs we were doing together. I took them because you were offering, not because I wanted them. It didn’t make it your fault. I was trying to be everything you were, not realizing that I was Justin, not Brian.” I tell him.

“Twat.” He tells me, shaking his head.

“Thanks.” I tell him confusing him. “Where are we?” I ask, when he pulls up to one of the old bathhouses.

“What I was doing while you were off finding yourself. Welcome to Kinnetik, my ad agency.” I tell him.

“Ted didn’t tell me you put it in one of our old haunts. Only you would think Ad Agency and bath house were a good fit.” I tell him.

“I did some of my best work here.” He tells me.

“Twat.” I tell him.

BRIAN

Ted explained why he and Justin were friends, but it still didn't make sense. Justin sat on the stool in my kitchen firing off texts, not really saying much. For all his ‘wanting to explain’ he seemed busy with other things.

“Sorry, Brett is having an aneurysm about one of the sets. I forgot to get the file to my boss. I wanted to ask a question first. How did Michael manage, in one issue, to screw up Rage?” He asks.

“It could have something to do with you handing it over like you didn’t remember everything about the first issue was your life. With you gone, the material Michael had to work with became limited to what he would have done without you.” I tell him, sarcastically.

“I guess blaming me for Michael losing his dream makes sense to you. It couldn't be Michael, because then you'd have to say he screwed up. It’s just not how I see it.” He tells me.

“Another life lesson you learned?” I sneered, not understanding why I couldn’t control my anger at him now that he was back.

“It’s a life lesson I thought growing up should have had us all learning, but then Michael couldn’t really ever grow up, because you and Deb circled the wagons when poor Mikey called. It really made me think less of my place when you left work to comfort Michael when Ben got sick. It showed me a lot in terms of the order of importance of the things in your life. He could have called everyone to help, but as usual he knew you’d drop everything to be there for him. I’m not saying it because you did anything wrong in supporting Michael, but to show you I understood that nothing got in the way of you and Michael. It really showed me a lot about where I ranked in your life. Really in everyone’s. They all showed up, rearranging their lives to help Michael. Hell, even I was helping, because it's what I learned was expected when it came to Michael. When I left, it sounded like life went on, and it helped when I wanted to call, because I just had to remember where your priorities really were. I was just the kid you felt responsible for.” He tells me, making me realize that that’s how that would seem, when none of us spent time with Justin when he was relearning everything.

“They came to see you in the hospital.” I said, feeling like I was just trying to make excuses.

“I’m not saying Mel, Lindsay, and Deb didn’t, it’s just it was nothing like what Michael got from all of you, when Ben was in the hospital. All of you expected me to help too, when Michael and I were barely friends. It’s why I was everywhere but around, because I didn’t get why everyone sat around Michael’s apartment instead of going to the hospital and sitting with Ben. Who might have liked knowing that he was a little more important than Michael’s wringing hands. By that point I was already tired of hearing you and Michael acting like a couple worried over your child, and I did something stupid by wanting to feel like I was worth the devotion you gave Michael. Ethan was there for things like my art being shown at the school exhibit, and for once I didn’t feel like I had to be careful of what I said. It was my mistake for taking it further, because in the end, cheating wasn’t something anyone deserves. I should have left when I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I was still waiting for something you couldn’t… wouldn’t give me. I watched you fuck Rage, and blamed myself, because it was you showing me that once again I was waiting for something that you weren’t ever going to give me. Ethan and I got outside the club and he knew there wasn’t going to be a relationship, and I could keep living my life waiting for something you never wanted. I took the internship that I didn’t tell you about, and wanted to see who I was without you. I spent so much time believing that without you I couldn’t be happy, which opened me up to meeting people and seeing that being me was more important than being who I thought was the only way to keep you.” He tells me.

“So instead of growing some balls and demanding what you wanted, you take off, leaving everyone worried and somehow making friends with Ted. He was barely someone you paid attention to!” I yelled, losing control of the jealousy that friendship made me feel.

“He needed someone, when apparently the rest of you were too busy to see what he was doing to himself. What did you all do, ignore that he was one step away from being a walking corpse? How could Michael, who supposedly cares so fucking much, not drag Ted’s ass to get him some help? Well, unlike Michael I don’t just spout how caring I am, but do something when I can for people. I don’t sit around getting you and Emmett to do the heavy lifting. I had to convince my cousin that Ted was the person I really thought he was, to get him to agree to help Ted. Wes and I didn’t let Ted off the hook, but made him work to get his life in order before coming back. In that time I got to know Ted, and found out he was more than the guy everyone made fun of. I wanted him to get his low self-esteem, that years around the group gave him, out of the gutter. In a way he was the anti-Michael, he didn’t whine and expect everyone to make him the center of attention. Although he probably knew what I did, no one got to take anything away from Michael unless they wanted you in their face. Ted and I were able to spend time getting to know each other without the usual mockery you and Michael would have done. I found out Ted was intelligent and could talk about more than Brian’s ‘latest and greatest tricks’, something that Michael used to constantly show me how you’d never give me anything I wanted in life. It’s the one thing Michael repeated any time he wanted me to know I wasn’t going to get what he couldn’t from you.” He tells me.

“So somehow it’s Michael’s fault that you couldn’t face me and tell me it was over?” I ask.

“Not at all. I just finally listened, when everything you did was what Michael was ramming into my head. I left because we were talking even less than we already did and I didn’t want to hate you. If I stuck around here, you’d be making it so I saw how little you cared that I was gone, and I’d be trying to act like it didn’t hurt when it would tear up my soul to watch. I also didn’t want the group to act like what I did was what you deserved. I figured by leaving they’d put the blame on me, not you.” He tells me.

“Other than Lindsay telling me to talk to you, that was all that was mentioned.” I tell him.

“Really? Lying was never something you did before.” He tells me, showing he knew me better than most people.

“What he said isn’t worth the time it took him to get it out of his mouth. He ended up losing Ben over it.” I tell him.

“If you're expecting me to be sympathetic that Ben left Michael, it won’t happen. I don’t like Michael and there’s really nothing about Michael that makes me want to overlook the bullshit, when he felt the same way about me.” He tells me.

“He tried to include you, but you didn’t make it easy on him either.” I tell him.

“Believe it if you want, I guess nothing’s changed for you either.” He tells me, getting up to leave.

“Where are you going now?” I ask.

“I'm staying with a friend, I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone.” He tells me.

“I wouldn’t have kicked you out.” I tell him, not being able to grow the balls to ask him to stay.

“It's something you never felt you could do, you felt responsible for the things that other people did. It's one thing Michael and I agreed on. I wouldn't have still been around if that bat hadn’t connected. Before you try to deny it, when I asked, your silence spoke for you.” He tells me, once again walking out without expecting an answer from me.

TED

It sounded like someone was trying to kick my door in. When I opened it, Brian was there, smelling like he drank all the bottles in Babylon. I wasn’t sure what to do, because I wasn't his go-to guy when he got like this. He came in without an invitation and barely made it to the couch. I started coffee, because sleep wasn’t looking possible, it seemed Justin returning didn’t leave Brian unaffected as he wanted us to believe.

“He believes everything came before him. You want to know what bothers me more? It’s the way he wasn't even angry when he said it.” He tells me.

“It's how he was able to not live in the past. He didn’t try to change the truth, so he could convince himself he meant more to you than Michael did.” I tell him.

“I let Justin move in with me, made him promises that no one ever got, how does he not see he was different?” He asks, as if it showed Justin something.

“It showed him that you took him in when his mother begged you to, but slammed the door in his face when he came to find out why you stopped talking to him.” I tell him.

“She asked me to leave him alone. She saw what Justin couldn’t, that what I did got him hurt.” He tells me.

I wanted to use one of Brian's saying that self-pity makes my dick soft, but Brian believed what he was saying. “What that shithead did would have happened even if you weren't there. He didn’t just find something, he brought the bat with him. As Mel would say, intent was there, you being there kept everyone from attending a funeral instead of the farce the courtroom became. You not only saved Justin’s life but mine, because he was able to be there to kick my ass and get me to straighten my life out. For once you're going to listen and accept my thanks for keeping him alive.” I tell him.

“He thinks us helping Michael when Ben got sick, showed how much Michael meant to all of us. He even implied were too busy comforting Michael to worry about Ben.” He tells me.

“He’s seeing how little time any of us spent checking on him. I can’t even say I visited, but I was like Emmett, neither of us saw Justin as more than your toy no longer being fun for you to play with. It doesn't make it right, but if Michael had been hurt, you would have slept at the hospital. The one thing Justin only really mentioned about it was you at least stayed until you heard he was okay. For him that mattered more than your absence. He jumped in the ambulance with me because he didn’t want a guy who barely gave him the time of day to die alone. Then stayed because he told me Daphne being there all the time helped him to not give up.” I tell him, hoping not to make Brian feel worse.

“I didn’t need him to know I was there every night, it would have caused him to see me as someone I wasn’t.” He whispers before passing out.

I looked over at Justin, who was staying in my extra room. I think were were both trying to figure out if Brian really said that. Justin went and got a blanket and pillow, taking off Brian’s shoes and rearranging him to a more comfortable position. I watch as Justin took care of Brian. It wasn’t something any of us would have seen but with as much as Brian partied in the past it was probably something Justin did often. It really was one of the big differences between Michael and Justin, Michael would have sat telling everyone in the diner how he took care of his best friend. Justin did things but never said a word, just found praise in that the people in his life were happy. I wonder how Brian would react to the whole Kip thing if he ever found out what Justin did, but unless Justin wanted Brian to know I’ll respect Justin’s decision to leave it alone. I left when Justin laid on the couch with Brian, wondering how many times Justin protected Brian in his sleep, when Brian wrapped his arms around Justin as if it was instinct to do it.

JUSTIN

I left before Brian woke up, I needed to talk to my mother. It wasn’t like the nurses didn’t tell her everything that went on when she wasn’t around. I knew she blamed Brian for what happened, but like Ted and I both agree on, you blame the person who did the crap, not the guy who had no idea that the school let a lunatic around people. I stopped to grab some stuff from a bakery, because Mom and I were going to have a conversation that comfort food helps. I saw Emmett standing in line but didn’t make any attempt to talk to him. I’m sure he’s heard the twink was back and sat around comforting Michael all night. I didn’t need Emmett to think he had to defend Michael to me. I tried not to look at him, but Emmett stopped right in front of me.

“Can we talk?” He asks.

“I was on my way to talk to my mother, maybe later.” I tell him, going to put in an order.

“I just spent the night having Michael waking up Deb’s whole house and really need a conversation that doesn’t sound like you're everything that’s wrong in Michael’s world. I know we weren’t extremely close, but I did miss the spot of color you brought in my world.” He tells me.

“Let me get some coffee, my mom has no idea I was coming anyway.” I tell him, giving in when he practically begged me to stay.

I sat down, and for a minute neither of us seemed to have anything to say to the other.

“I’m trying to figure out why my mom didn’t tell me something. I get she was upset at the time and couldn’t see anything but that I was hurt, but it was something that might have changed how I saw something at the time.” I tell him, to end the silence.

“Maybe she thought it wouldn’t help you to know.” He tells me.

“I guess, but a lot of that time was confusing for me. I was having anger issues and ready to give up. If she had told me Brian had been there every night, maybe I wouldn’t have felt the way I did before I left. Then again, I worked harder because I wanted to see Brian, so maybe they were both right to keep it from me.” I tell him.

“You’re talking about the bashing?” He asks.

“More about what happened at the hospital, but that time period.” I tell him.

“I’m such an asshole. There I was spouting to Michael and Ted that Brian was too busy to deal with a defective toy… Oh God, please understand, I didn’t see you that way, it was just Michael was questioning why Brian kept disappearing and no one knew why or where he went. So as usual I answered, not really thinking how that sounded. I want you to know, I didn’t visit because in a way I felt like we all sort of made you go to that prom.” He tells me, looking miserable.

“Why? I decided to go. All you did was dress me up when I asked. As for what you said, it wasn’t like we were really friends, all you saw was the guy Brian hung out with. Which, with his past, meant there wasn’t any reason to see that I’d be around in the future.” I tell him.

“Ted said you know what Michael said, and that we all just let it go.” He tells me.

“And what are you waiting for me to say? That I hated you for it. Sorry, but you have a right to do what you think is right for your life. When you think about it, the only person who he really said anything about was me, not you. So there’s nothing for you to forgive him for, it just shows that nothing Michael did, like trying say he and I were friends, was how Michael really felt about me. Michael and I couldn’t be friends. I got something from Brian that Michael was still left waiting for.” I tell him.

“Ben must have just gotten tired of waiting for the ‘Brian and Mikey show’ to end. Because after Michael said that, he walked. He doesn’t even talk to any of us if he see us.” He tells me.

“Like me, we only knew all of you through our relationships. Ben probably saw the way you were all talking to Michael and telling him that Ben was the worst candidate for relationship that anyone could have. Which probably caused Michael want to break it off, it wouldn’t have had him wanting to be around people who only saw the disease, and not a man who was really better than Michael should have gotten. Sorry I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sure there is something you all see about Michael that I never did.” I tell him.

“He has good points too, not that you would have ever seen them. He gave me a place to stay when I didn’t know where I’d be.” He tells me.

“Then you have every right to defend Michael, because he does treat you well. It’s not something I can say, and I won’t pretend he wanted anything but for me to disappear from Brian’s life. Which I did, and will again if coming back causes all of you to have to pick sides. I came back because I needed to see that Brian was happy, it’s something I wouldn’t let Ted tell me. I also wanted to see everyone.” I tell him.

“Deb knows you're here.” He warns me.

“I figured he couldn’t wait to start rallying the troops, but then he never manages to do anything original.” I tell him, leaving when they call me for my order.

I was out the door when Emmett ran out. “Can we go out some time while you're here?” He asks.

“I was planning on seeing the club, so if you're there, I’ll save you a dance.” I tell him.

BRIAN

I woke up when I fell off the couch, Ted was sitting at his kitchen table on his computer and got up, brought me coffee and wheat toast. Then sat back down, typing away.

“Thanks. You’re going to make a great housewife one day.” I tell him, sarcastically.

“Hopefully, but until then enjoy the rewards of a future housewife in training.” He laughs.

“How did I end up here?” I ask.

“After making me worry that you might have run Babylon dry of alcohol, I couldn’t tell you.” He tells me.

I sniff at myself and decided that Ted wasn’t too far from the truth. I was pissed that Justin didn’t seem to want to believe that he gave me things that Michael didn’t. So I used drinking and everything else that worked when Justin tended to make me want to care, not really sure why I showed up here. I sniffed and then picked up the pillow and sniffed it.

“So the twat was here?” I ask.

“Daphne’s away at college, she transferred when it came time to go to med school. Justin didn’t see any reason to stay with his mom when I told him he could use my extra room. He knows he’s always welcome in my house.” Ted tells me.

“I need a shower, I stink.” I tell him, ignoring the itch to kick his ass for… Justin picking his place over mine.

“Justin seemed to think he needed a shower after laying there with you.” He tells me.

“Where did he go, or are you going to keep me guessing?” I ask.

“He went to find out why his mother didn’t tell him you were at the hospital every night.” Ted tells me.

Can you say fuck over and over. It’s a reason I never drank this heavily, because the filter from my brain to my mouth tends to lessen, the drunker I get. Justin didn’t need a reason to be pissed at Jen, she did what she thought was best for her son. Really if Justin was paying attention to the Dr Dick episode, he knows that I never say no to women I respect, which caused the whole birthday fiasco for Michael. What Jen asked only hurt me, and I could live with that for Justin’s sake.

“He isn’t angry, just wondering why she never brought it up. Jen just didn’t feel the need when you and Justin were no longer together.” Ted tells me.

“So you're on Mother Taylor’s friend list too?” I snark.

“We talk and have lunch together when we run into each other. Justin asked her to make sure I kept my head on straight. You know Jen, anything her kids want, she does.” He tells me.

I refrained from saying I didn’t know her the way Ted seems to. “We can head to the diner after I take a shower.” I tell him.

“I have things to do before I go to Kinnetik, so I’ll just see you at work.” He tells me.

“Why don’t you want to go to the diner?” I ask.

“Are you kidding? After Michael found out about Justin being here, I’ll be public enemy number one for daring to defend Justin. Deb will be crawling all over my ass about why I didn’t tell her I knew where Sunshine’s been all this time. I’ll let Justin deal with Deb.” He tells me.

“Throwing him to the slaughter, what kind of friend does that?” I joke, even though it pissed me off a little that Ted would do that.

“He doesn’t need me to fight for him. He’s always been good at fighting for what he wants.” He tells me.

“How do you get that, when he ran from everything?” I sneered.

“Knowing the battle wasn’t going to win anything for anyone is not the same as running away. He was surprised that Emmett and I got together, but said if it was you and Michael it wouldn’t have surprised him. I even had to agree with him, because you told Michael everything, and Justin only found out when Michael opened his mouth, barely getting you to blink when Michael said things you didn’t want people to know. Sorry, but the whole not saying you love Justin, but having to make him hear you tell Michael, really was more than anyone would have stuck around for. Justin came here because he thinks that there is some reason you haven’t finally given Michael what he wants. I think, and it’s only me who thinks this, he needs you to finally give him a reason to move on from you. It’s in your court, all you have to do is give Michael what he’s wanted since he was fourteen and Justin will walk for good this time.” He tells me.

“What makes him think I ever wanted Michael as more than a friend? If I wanted that, Justin would have stayed a memory, not a constant in my life.” I tell him.

“You and I discussed it, I told you to let Michael go, and you told me you would when I did. It didn’t sound like friendship was all you thought.” He tells me.

I didn’t answer, but went to take a shower. Ted threw the truth at me, in the way I did to him years ago. Did I think I loved Michael at one time? It was there, but any time Michael tried to act on it, I pulled away. It was like the unfinished hand job, nothing made me want to finish it when Michael and I could have. Michael didn’t have me wanting to break my rules for a life with him, but Justin… well he got through, like Deb said one time.

JUSTIN

One of the things Wes talked a lot about was the way I treated my mom. He wanted me to look at it from her side, and asked me if once in all that time did I not see that she did the best she could when I was throwing so many changes at her. He said I should give her credit for being torn in two because it wasn't just about me but Molly too. Wes cuts through bullshit and leaves you no longer able to only see your side. He'd always liked my mom and told me that instead of treating her like she should have pushed Molly aside for me, I should try to understand she was the one who stood by me. It's why I'm not upset or angry that she didn’t tell me, because the one thing I always remember is that she made sure I knew she loved me.

When she answered the door, she drowned me in a hug. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here?” She asked, pulling me in the door and straight to the kitchen.

“I brought breakfast.” I tell her putting the bag on the counter.

“How long are you staying?” She asks.

“Long enough to see everyone, after that I’m not really sure. Another director wants me to work on his film, since my boss told him he wanted me as his assistant for it. I'm getting the chance to go to Australia if it comes together. I was going to see if you wanted to visit.” I tell her.

“I'm happy for you, but I'm hoping by coming here you're planning to start visiting.” She tells me.

“I think it will be easier after this visit. I saw Brian and we talked.” I tell her.

“Maybe it's time for you to hear something that I never told you.” She tells me.

“Like that he visited the hospital every night?” I ask. “He sort of told me without realizing it.” I tell her.

“There was more. Just understand I wasn’t in a place where I could see anything but that you were hurt. He only stopped coming over because I asked him to. It didn’t matter that he told me he cared about you, I just wanted him away from you. Even when Deb tried to tell me that Brian was most likely the only person you'd let help you.” She tells me.

“Both you and Brian did what you could, but at the time there was a lot I couldn’t say to help either of you. I guess I was just curious why no one told me.” I tell her.

“I got the feeling Brian didn’t want you to know, it made it easy for me not to tell you.” She tells me.

“I think it kept me from giving up, so it's not something I needed to know then.” I tell her.

“Does it change anything about why you left?” She asks.

“It was a way for me to know that life didn’t end because Brian wasn’t part of my life. It didn’t change that I still love him, but it also taught me what I want in relationship. Which Brian and I didn’t have in ours... “

“Justin? “ She asks, when I stopped talking.

“I just realized Brian implied we broke up.” I tell her.

“Okay, and what does that mean, you left with ended your relationship with him.” She tells me.

“It's something he never would admit it was.” I tell her.

“Justin you lived together, went out together and did things I don't ever need to know about, TOGETHER. Brian could deny it all he wanted but, that's a relationship.” She tells me.

“DUH, but it seems Brian finally figured it out.” I tell her, laughing.

“Smartass.” She tells me, kissing my head.

“I was always more self aware than Brian wanted me to be.” I tell her.

“Are you going to tell him about leaving for work?” She asks me.

“I’m not really sure there’s any reason. We aren’t back together.” I tell her.

“If you are even thinking about it, you need to tell him.” She tells me.

“Which reminds me, I need to go see Deb.” I tell her, changing the subject.

“She missed you, and understood when I told her why you couldn't come when Vic died.” She tells me.

“It's the only time I did. I just didn’t tell anyone. Vic deserved the respect he gave me.” I tell her.

“Why didn't you call me, I would have gone with you.” She tells me.

“I waited until that night to go to Vic’s grave and then left town. I wanted to do it on my own.” I tell her.

“At least tell Deb, she'd be happy to know.” She tells me.

“Do you still talk to her?” I ask.

“When we have time, she and I usually see each other at PFLAG meetings and get a drink.” She tells me.

I stayed and had breakfast with her, waiting until Deb would be home to go over. Like Vic, my relationship with Deb was ours and not about anyone else.

BRIAN

When I walked into the Diner Michael was in his usual booth with Emmett. Emmett seemed preoccupied as Deb and Michael argued with each other. I got there in time for the usual slap in the head before Deb stomped off.

“What did you say to Deb?” I ask Michael, sitting next to Emmett.

“Fucking Justin appears and she tells me I better not treat him like shit.” Michael complains.

“Where’s Teddy?” Emmett asks, ignoring Michael.

“He didn’t want to face the Spanish Inquisition for knowing where Justin was all this time.” I tell Emmett as Deb puts coffee down in front of me.

“At least Ted cared enough to take care of Sunshine.” Deb glares at me and Michael.

“Why should I care, he fucked over both Brian and me when he left.” Michael tells her, causing Deb to lose any patience she had with him.

“He didn’t do anything but give you the rights to the comic. You fucked it up yourself by thinking it was funny what you did to JT. It wasn’t enough that Justin almost got killed by that piece of garbage, you had to kill him in a fucking comic. You want to know to why it failed? Because no one wanted to read that piece of crap. Vic and I agreed, you deserved to have no one want to read it. If you want food ask Kiki, because I’m too mad to feed you right now.” She tells him and me walking off.

“She always takes his side.” Michael whines.

“Why wouldn’t she? Justin never made Deb feel like she wasn’t good enough for him.” Emmett tells him. “But then as usual, we all let it go that you insulted your mother in front of everyone. Maybe it’s why she defends Justin, because he took care of her when you were too busy being an asshole.” Emmett tells him.

“What’s with you? You’ve barely said two words about him and when you do your crawling all over my ass like Ma.” Michael tells him.

“Since you woke us all up bitching all night, you’ll have to excuse me for wanting to bitch at you.” Emmett tells him.

Deb shows up, slamming my plate I didn’t order on the table and handing Emmett’s food nicely to him, leaving Michael with water. “Carl wasn’t happy when he couldn’t get any sleep after working a double yesterday, either.” Deb tells Michael. “YOU tell Sunshine I expect him at dinner tonight, which Michael isn’t invited to unless he can keep his mouth shut.” She tells me, leaving, just expecting her command to be obeyed.

“Screw it, we can just go out.” Michael tells us, trying to wave down Kiki.

I drank my coffee, no longer wondering why Michael never made it past friend. I got up, leaving Deb a big tip. Emmett got up somehow thinking I needed someone to walk me to my car.

“I saw Justin this morning. He actually wasn’t pissed about what Michael said about him, and wasn’t even upset that everyone let it go.” Emmett tells me.

“Why would you even bring it up, Ted already told you that.” I tell him, as he gets in my car, without an invitation.

“I don’t know, he brought up the hospital thing and I started running my mouth saying how I once called him a defective toy… Shit Brian, why did you slam on the breaks?” He asked, as I glared at him.

“Is there some reason that ever came out of your mouth?” I grit, ready to kick him out.

“I guess I didn’t want him to hear it from Michael. It bothered me when Justin said he never saw anything to like about Michael and all I could come up with was that Michael let me live with him when my place burned down. I could see Michael saying it to him and I at least wanted Justin to know I didn't mean it the way it sounds.” Emmett tells me.

“I'm starting to see why he's friends with Ted.” I grumble.

“Why does that bother you? It's not like Teddy and Justin are together. Not that that should bother you either, I mean, other than the girls party, you barely acted like you remembered Justin existed.” Emmett tells me.

I didn’t answer but got out of the car and went into Kinnetik, leaving Emmett to do what he wanted. Cynthia handed me my messages but ignored my foul mood. He's back for one day and all hell breaks loose, how could I not miss the twat.

LINDSAY

Gus came down for breakfast, holding a teddy bear I've never seen. Even he seemed to be confused about it.

“Did Dad leave this?” He asks.

“No, he was here but I didn’t see it with him.” I tell him.

“It had a note saying it's name was Gus too.” He tells me.

Mel picked it up noticing it wasn’t new, then smiled at me. “Remember when we first met Jen?” She asks.

“You don’t think Justin left it do you?” I ask.

“Dad’s Justin?” Gus asks.

“How do you know about your Dad and Justin?” Mel asks.

“I was looking through his box, it had pictures of Justin. Dad told me that Justin named me and used to spend a lot of time with me. He said Justin had to go because he wanted things Dad wouldn’t give him. Only, Dad says he would've, but Justin didn’t know.” Gus tells us, eating his cereal.

“Apparently your Dad could get a chance if he plays this right.” Mel tells us.

DEB

Carl kissed me at the door, when he could tell my mood wasn’t any better. I was angry that Michael still couldn't figure out how much Sunshine brought to our lives. Don't get me wrong,  I wasn’t happy Sunshine didn’t keep in touch, but understood he hadn't been happy when he left. Vic told me Justin needed to get away from everything and we just needed to be happy we knew he was okay. I just missed the smiling face who cheered me up when Michael upset me.

I went straight to the kitchen to cook because I didn’t need to take my mood out on Carl. Carl got up to answer the door, I started making pasta, the one Sunshine loved.

“Deb can you come here, I think this will make you feel better.” He tells me.

I put down the pan thinking about doubling the amount to make for dinner, because Justin was going to get fed. When I got to the living room, I probably squeezed the life out of Sunshine. “You took long enough to come home.” I tell him.

“I wanted to come back when I was ready.” He tells me.

“I'm Carl by the way.” Carl says with his arm around me when I wouldn’t let Justin go.

CARL

It was like seeing a different side to Red when she and Justin talked to each other. She treated Justin like an adult. Not telling him what he should do, but excited that he didn’t give up on his dreams and was making his own way in the world. It's not how she is when she deals with Michael. With Michael it's like she has to still be the mother she was to a small child. With Emmett, it's more of a best friend relationship, in which they share their love of the same things. Ted’s relationship with her has, in my opinion, never been close, he doesn't depend on Deb for anything but he still shows her respect. I once had to ask Deb about her strange relationship with Brian, because it almost seemed like, depending on the day, Brian was either a patsy for Michael’s issues or the savior. It truly was confusing, especially when you add Justin in the mix.

They sat in the kitchen, able to agree or disagree, but not having Deb trying to argue Justin into agreeing with her. The only time in the whole conversation Deb tried that was on the subject of when he left Brian.

“Sunshine, he didn’t do anything other than hurt you.” She tells him.

“Neither of us was committed to making it work. If I had been, I wouldn’t have been lying to him. He was constantly having everyone telling him I deserved things, but never once taking into consideration, that maybe he didn’t know what he wanted. Being able to get away made me see that he never once promised me more than we already had. There might have been something he couldn’t pursue because he was too busy taking care of me.” He tells her.

“If there was, you wouldn’t know it. You left and it was back to trying to be the Stud. There was also something everyone kept from me, because after the girls party, Brian took over a week to even talk to Michael, and even then it wasn't the way they used to be with each other. All I know is, Ben broke up with Michael, and the rest of them stopped being angry with each other.” She tells him.

Now years of being a detective meant seeing Justin’s tell. He started playing with the cuffs of his shirt and blew off the subject, which meant he knew what caused the fuss all of them pretend didn’t happen. Which only says Michael opened his mouth, and it was about Justin.

“Everyone has things they disagree on, but they always get over it.” Justin tells her.

“I just wish whatever caused Ben to break up with Michael hadn’t happened. I wasn’t cheering them on at first, but I really liked Ben. He was what Michael needed to stop living in the past.” She tells him.

“I think I'll wash up and help you set the table.” Justin tells her, leaving the kitchen.

“I guess I should get dinner ready, although if Michael comes and starts shit with Justin, I'm going to have words with my son.” She tells me.

It wasn’t what I was used to, Red not giving in to Michael’s tantrums. I had to wonder if she would really bother, or just ignore what Michael does, which is really what happens around here. I watch all of them at dinners, and if the topic isn’t Michael’s woes, then everyone’s eating. Ted and Emmett showed up first, Ted went straight to the kitchen to talk to Justin, while Emmett sat on the couch watching, as if he didn’t feel included into the two. Justin said something to Ted that had Ted laughing and carrying on, almost as if their friendship was outside of everyone. Emmett wasn’t his usual sparkling self as he watched them whispering about something.

“You okay?” I ask Emmett.

“Ted has this whole life he shares with Justin, something he never talks about, but seeing them together means there are parts of my best friend's life he didn’t trust me with.” He tells me.

“There are always things that you'll never know. Each friendship is different, it doesn't make one better than the other, just different.” I tell him.

“I guess, but I'm still not sure where I stand with Justin. He doesn’t seem angry about things he knows happened after he left. Ted told him about Michael saying Brian would have been better off if Justin hadn’t survived the bashing, and Justin wasn’t really upset, just said it wasn’t a surprise it came out of Michael’s mouth.” He tells me.

Which explained why Justin blew it off when Red was talking about it. It also made me understand Justin, because knowing her son could say something like that, would turn this evening into mess. Justin was being a man, something Michael hasn't managed to become.

“I get the feeling that the drama was something Justin grew out of.” I tell Emmett.

Brian walked in with the girls and Gus, and Justin stopped talking, staring at Gus. It was also the first time I saw Gus being shy in the house. He whispered something to Brian, then made his way over to Justin.

“Thank you for the teddy bear.” Gus tells him.

“I thought you could take care of him for me. I felt bad that he lived in my mom's attic.” Justin tells him.

“Mama said it's why you picked Gus when I was born.” Gus tells him.

“It's the name of one of my best friends as a child. Which is something I wanted us to become one day.” Justin tells him.

“Was that why you spent time with me when I was a baby?” Gus asks.

“I spent time with you because everyday I knew you, it meant loving you even more. I missed you the most when I left.” Justin tells him.

“We could go do stuff while you're here.” Gus offers.

“It's a date, I'd love to see the things you like.” Justin tells him.

Michael walked in, and immediately started in on Emmett and Brian, Justin took Ted and Gus outside with him, while Michael complained.

“I thought we were going to skip this. Let Ma entertain him, it's not like there's any reason we want to listen to what Justin abandoned everyone to do.” He says loudly, probably to make sure Justin heard it.

“If that's what you want to do son, go ahead, and if anyone agrees with Michael, follow him.” Deb tells us.

Michael watched as they all went into the kitchen to help set the table, apparently not seeing Michael’s side.

BRIAN

I watched out the back window as Gus ran around talking to Justin and Ted. Ted was like a different person around Justin, more confident. Deb yelled to come in and Gus ran ahead of them, followed by Ted. Justin was answering his phone. I walked out when he stopped, and turned around to answer.

“I got the job?” He asks, excited. “When do we have to be there… I should be back by then… possibly a couple of weeks, but I finished everything Brett needed, so unless something needs to be changed that he needs me there for, I'm done… I've always wanted to travel, so it's my opportunity to see Australia… I'll get my passport done while I'm here… it's different in some ways, but like we talked about, I needed to see him happy… it doesn't matter, my feelings weren’t important… just because I love him doesn’t mean he has to feel the same, sometimes they just don't… let it go… later.” Justin tells him, hanging up.

I went in before he saw me. So, nowhere in this was a plan to stick around once again. I looked at Michael standing in the living room, pissed that everyone planned to stay, and really had to agree there wasn’t anything left to stay for. Justin came in smiling, pissing me off. He shows up as if he really gave a fuck, only it was obvious he was just here to pass the time before moving on. I almost left, but maybe he needs to see what he didn’t stick around for.

“I just got the call, I'm going to be working in Australia for a month.” He tells us.

“I guess you'll need to get back to your life, it was nice you bothered with us.” I sneered.

“He should have just stayed where he was, no one really noticed he was gone. Why not do everyone a favor and disappear?” Michael joins in.

“Not a problem, if that's what you want. Deb thanks, but I have something I should do.” Justin tells her.

“It's sitting down and eating at the dinner that I made for you. If Brian and Michael have a problem, then they can leave.” Deb tells us.

“I’ll come back later, I'm sure Gus came to have dinner with the family he knows, which it seems Brian and Michael don't want me here for.” Justin tells her, kissing her cheek and walking out without letting anything stop him.

“I'm done. You'll have my resignation on your desk in the morning. I can't work with someone I just lost all respect for, good job, both of you.” Ted tells me and Michael, before storming out.

Gus runs past us out of the house, screaming for Justin. Mel looked at me like I was shit on the bottom of her shoe. I went to get Gus, stopping Michael when he tried to follow me. Justin was kneeling on the sidewalk talking to Gus.

“I'll still come see you. I don't want everyone upset at dinner, so it's better for you if I leave.” Justin tells him.

“I don’t understand why everyone got mad.” Gus tells Justin.

“I left without letting anyone know I was okay, which wasn't the right thing to do. It had nothing to do with you. I was hoping that when I'm away this time we could keep in contact, and if your moms and dad let you, you could come see a movie being made. Hopefully they'll agree, but be good and help me get them to agree. I'll come over tomorrow and we can go do something, okay?” Justin asks.

“Okay, but promise me.” Gus tells him.

“I promise.” Justin tells him, hugging him.

Gus ran past me, glaring. “Gus, be good, remember?” Justin asks.

“I didn’t say Dad was mean, that's all he and Michael get from me.” Gus tells me, walking past.

“Ted stay, I'm fine.” Justin tells him.

“Why bother, when to when I'll be taking Wes up on his offer to work for him. Wes at least doesn't jump to conclusions before asking.” Ted tells me.

“Brian doesn’t owe me anything. If he wants me gone, then he doesn't need to throw me off a cliff. But then, I'm used to it.” Justin shrugged, then walked to his car.

I started towards Justin, but Ted blocked my way. “Go back in, you just proved to Justin nothing’s changed. Mikey’s waiting.” He tells me, leaving.

Fuck it, Justin is going to face me. I got in my car and followed him. Only he didn’t go to a place I expected him to go. When he stopped in the graveyard, he pulled out white roses then went straight to Vic’s grave. That fucking twat, he was the one who had them placed there every month. Deb mentioned in passing that she kept finding white roses at Vic’s grave, thinking Rodney must be putting them there. None of us ever thought about it, but mystery solved. I got out and followed him. He cleared away debris and put them in the vase on the headstone.

“We had to stop Deb from erecting a monument. “ I tell him.

“He deserved one.” He tells me.

“Justin…”

“Can we not do this here, it's not the place for anything but remembering Vic.” He tells me.

“Your whole life feels like a place I'm not allowed to know about.” I tell him.

“Not here, if you want to do this, then anywhere but here.” He tells me.

I nodded as Justin kissed his fingers and laid them on Vic’s headstone. “I'll meet you at the loft.” I tell him.

I got there ahead of him and waited until he pulled up. We both walked in and waited until the door was closed and locked.

“Here's the only chance you get, say what you need to, because I'm done after this.” Justin tells me.

“Why come back?” I ask.

“Because I needed to either close this chapter with you, or figure out if there was anything to fight for. I want to one day have a family and a relationship where my partner wants to have those things with me. Our relationship was always with one of us leaving the door open. My door can’t be that way anymore. If you see your future without me, then stop hiding from what you want and tell me it wasn't me.” He tells me.

“Your future doesn’t seem to include me.” I tell him.

“Maybe because you want one with someone else. It wasn’t like I didn’t see it, I stopped not seeing it.” He tells me.

Ted said it, and it was in everything Justin just said, but it didn't make them right. The banging on my door, had Justin turning to leave. “Answer it and we're done.” I tell him.

“I'm sure he'll just use his key, nothing keeps Mikey from you.” He tells me.

“You always could, you just never asked.” I tell him.

JUSTIN

It was hard to think when the banging continued at the door. I wasn’t sure what kept Michael from just barging in like usual. Brian shook his keyring at me and separated two keys, both to the loft.

“I took away his way of just opening the door.” He tells me.

“Why?” I ask.

“You keep saying everything was predictable, I decided to show you things could and would change.” He tells me.

“Which would be more believable if he didn’t still manage to get into the building so he can still bang on the door. You don’t want me to answer the door, but really, how do you expect to get rid of him?” I ask him, as Michael added yelling to the banging.

“Will you trust me to deal with it?” He asks.

“He isn’t going to be happy I’m here, and I won’t stay quiet if he pulls the shit he did tonight. He didn’t have a reason to say anything, but still did.” I tell him.

I went over to the couch and turned on the TV. I wasn’t going to hide in the bathroom or anywhere else because Michael didn’t want me around. My phone went off and it was Wes asking about why Ted called him for a job. I told him to call, because I didn’t want to even listen to what Michael was talking about.

“Ted was pissed about something that happened tonight.” I tell Wes, ignoring Michael when he walked in.

“If the situation is still the same, you're wasting your time. I know you love Brian, but there is just a point where you need to think about yourself and know he’s never going to want the same things.” He tells me.

“Why were you acting like you didn’t know what happened?” I ask, realizing Ted filled him in on what happened at Deb’s. “I’m going to take this outside.” I tell Brian, who nodded.

“I wanted you to assure me you weren’t going to fall into the same situation with Brian. It happens to the best of us, but the trick is to remember why it wasn’t something you wanted the first time around. If Brian is still acting like Michael is more important, than the relationship you have stays the same.” He tells me, as Michael starts getting louder.

“Brian actually told me if I let Michael into the loft tonight we were through.” I tell him.

“Then why do I hear the guy in the background?” He asks.

“How do you know?” I ask.

“Every time Ted called I would hear the guy bitching and moaning in a nasally voice, so I asked Ted who the fuck it was.” He tells me.

“Michael followed us here. When he couldn’t get in he just kept banging on the door. Brian knows, just like I do, that he would keep going until he got an answer.” I tell him.

“How is that different than before, other than he could just let himself in?” He asks me.

“Brian took the key that Michael had. It’s different because I told Brian what I wanted and he didn’t immediately act like it wasn’t possible. Which, when we were together, he would have started telling me it wasn’t something he’d ever want. I think it helps that I wasn’t saying it had to be him.” I tell him.

“Ted mentioned that it bothers Brian you aren’t upset about the past anymore.” He tells me.

“I couldn’t see coming here if I was still the kid that left. Adding hysterics would have been showing everyone nothing had changed with me.” I tell him.

“As long as you do what’s right for you, I’ll support you. Tell Ted if he wants the job, it’s his.” Wes tells me hanging up.

I stayed outside, because to me the real proof that anything has changed is if Brian doesn’t take off, after Michael tries to use the same things that worked to set Brian off about me in the past. I could deal with Michael, but not Brian out to prove that no one tied him down.

BRIAN

I was getting a front row seat to what Justin had been dealing with, because unlike before, I no longer saw a future like Justin described as only for straight people. I had a son who I was helping to raise, spending time with him just like any father, gay or straight would. I even purchased the loft below me, because Gus needed his own room when he visits for the night. I didn’t want my son growing up to believe that love was a myth, but a fact that he sees everyday with his mothers and me. Justin was showing me that there was truth to it by still loving me, when anyone else would have left and never looked back. I have to believe there was something more to my relationship with Justin than the guy who slept in my bed. It was the void left when he was no longer there, it stayed until he showed up again.

“He should have just left for good, he’s still trying to cause trouble around here.” Michael tells me.

“How, by breathing? He has a right to come here, everyone he loves is here.” I tell him.

“Then he should be with them, not here trying to mess with your head. You already gave up things you wanted because you had to take care of him. When he left, you no longer had to feel responsible for him. Yet when I needed you, you acted like you couldn’t be bothered. I lost more than Justin ever did, but even now you’re saying it’s my fault Ben left me.” He tells me.

“Your comparing losing a relationship that was lucky to last as long as it did, to Justin almost dying, what the fuck is wrong with you? You want to know why Ben really left? He got tired of watching the man he loved prove over and over that he would never be enough for you. I doubt what you said about Justin was why he left.” I tell him.

“Like you would know anything about a relationship.” He tells me.

“Neither do you, or you wouldn’t constantly fail at them. David had a kid who needed him, but you were upset because he didn’t ignore his responsibility to his son for you. Ben spent the whole relationship wondering what he meant to you. Neither of them realized you still thought there was a chance that if you waited, we’d be together. It’s something that keeps coming up lately, and I really had time to think about it, and no, it’s not going to happen. I never wanted you in the way that I want Justin. When you left it was nothing like what I felt when Justin did.” I tell him.

“Of course you didn’t, because I didn’t leave you behind like you didn’t matter to me. Shit Brian, look who he stayed in touch with, Ted. It’s not like Ted ever gave two shits about Justin, but that’s who Justin kept in his life. Maybe you should be asking why Ted was more important than you were to your precious Justin. I mean, he says he was staying with a cousin, but where was the guy when Justin was hurt, maybe the guy is just someone who paid for Justin the way you did. Maybe he just likes having older men with money. He had you footing the bill for college and apparently so was this other guy.” Michael tells me.

The doubts started, but one thing Michael never knew was the only way Justin would allow me to pay for his college. Michael never seems to remember all the jobs Justin had in addition to school, but then it would mean Justin wasn’t using me. “Go home Michael, find a way to fill the void in your life, mine came home.” I tell him.

“Brian…”

“It was only ever going to be Justin.” I tell him.

Michael walked out, shoulders slumped. I followed him down, not allowing  Michael to say something to Justin. Justin was standing next to the building, texting on his phone when we came down.

“Go home Michael, he doesn’t really care what you think. Justin and I need to talk about how we see our relationship working when he’s in Australia.” I tell Michael, when he glared at Justin.

“It’s called planes, Brian.” Justin smiles at me.

EMMETT

I went to talk to Teddy, because he's been pissed before, but never to the point he quit on Brian. I wanted to give him time to calm down, and decided to try to get Brian to help me. Deb and Carl both told me it really sounded like the last straw, not only for Teddy, but for Justin. Which had me texting Justin to see if we could talk and maybe keep Brian from having to find a new accountant. He let me know he was at Brian’s loft, but apparently Michael was there, pissed that Deb read him the riot act for involving himself in Justin and Brian’s life.

I got there in time to see Justin pretty much tell Brian there was a place in his life for Brian. Michael was standing across the street, once again watching Brian giving Justin the things Michael couldn’t get from Brian. I walked over to Michael, thinking maybe it was time to give Brian the chance to show Justin he was ready for the things Justin wanted, which wouldn’t happen with Michael being around.

“It won’t matter what you try, nothing will change that the two of them can’t seem to be without each other.” I tell Michael.

“I don’t get why Brian doesn’t care what Justin did before he left.” Michael tells me.

“It’s the same reason Justin doesn’t care what Brian did the whole time they knew each other. They both know they made mistakes, and are willing to leave them in the past and start anew. It’s one of the things you can’t seem to stop doing, and why the men in your life walk away. Would you rather live the rest of your life waiting for Brian, or looking for someone who can give you the things that you want in life.” I tell him.

“He acted like he didn’t care about Justin anymore. Things were going back to what it used to be like for Brian and me, until HE came along.” Michael says, walking away.

“If it wasn’t Justin, it still wasn’t going to be you.” I tell him.

Michael stiffened, then kept walking away. Justin and Brian came over when Michael was out of sight, and once again Brian proved he really likes Teddy.

“Since you're here, help me convince my CFO that he loves the company he helped me start.” Brian tells me.

BRIAN

I was learning something about Ted that surprised me. He finally figured out he was in a position of power, because he had something I wanted. Ted put the condition that he could work for not only me but Wes too. Ted wasn’t going to do both the job of CFO and account exec for me when I had others who I should be expecting more from. Justin and Emmett took off, saying they were going to get something to eat, but I really think they both knew Ted and I needed to do this on our own.

“Why does it bother you now, but didn’t when we started?” I ask.

“I want a life that doesn’t have you calling me in the middle of the night to fly out and talk to accounts about campaigns. If it was about the budget or possible renegotiations because of cost issues, then I could understand why I would need to go, but lately it’s to deal with changes they want to campaigns, which is why you hired the other execs, but tend to rely on me for them. Cynthia would be better than sending me.” Ted tells me.

“Why do you want to work for Wes too?” I ask.

“Wes also helped me get my life in order, not just Justin. I happen to like and respect the man who helped me see that who I am. He showed me part of what got me into the whole crystal scene. It wasn’t Emmett being successful, but me letting my self-esteem get in my way, like I always do. He left the offer to work for him open, so that if when I got back, the people I hurt couldn’t forgive me for what I did, I would have something. When you offered me the job at Kinnetik, it showed that even after what I did, you still trusted me. It also gave me a chance to know there was more to you than the reputation that we all believed was the only thing important to you. Until you pulled that shit tonight with Justin, I liked the Brian Kinney I was getting to know.” He tells me.

“Where was Wes when Justin got hurt?” I ask, because for the way Ted makes him sound, he would have been here.

“Being ignored by his family, the way they ignored Justin.” He tells me.

“Jen didn’t ignore Justin.” I tell him.

“Brian, Wes is Justin’s cousin through Craig, not Jen. Although he wishes it was the opposite, because he shares your feeling about Craig and the rest of the assholes in his family. Wes didn’t find out what happened to Justin until he showed up in Palm Springs.” Ted tells me.

“Why didn’t Justin ever mention him?” I ask.

“For what purpose? It wasn’t like you and Justin were sharing anything personal with each other. Hell Brian, the only reason Justin ever met anyone beyond us was by accident. So why mention a cousin that he really only knew before Wes moved away from his family. Jen looked up Wes when Justin told her he was offered an internship near where Wes lives, she wanted to make sure there was someone Justin knew in California.” He tells me.

“How did Justin afford it? When he left I was paying for him to go to college.” I ask.

“Is there a reason you're asking me and not Justin?” He asks.

“When Justin’s around, my mind tends to be on how to get him naked.” I smirk.

“Wes paid for him to go, even offered to pay for everything so Justin could focus on college.” He tells me.

“Which Justin most likely said no to, unless he could pay it back.” I tell him.

“Yes, and the job he’s being offered in Australia will pay back a huge portion of what he still owes Wes. Justin’s been working nonstop for the last six years, to not only pay Wes back, but you as well.” He tells me.

“I never wanted him to pay it back.” I tell him.

“Then you shouldn’t have fallen in love with Justin, if you didn’t want someone who was your equal in independence.” He tells me.

“If you want to work for both of us, then we need to sit down and decide how exactly to King Solomon you.” I tell him.

“I let Wes know you want to meet him, but really, he's curious about you anyway.” He tells me.

“I’m sure he’s dying to meet me.” I tell him.

“Only because he doesn't get what keeps Justin from forgetting you.” Ted tells me.

JUSTIN

We got to the diner and I went to say hi to the people who still worked here from when I did, and put in Emmett and my order, before sitting down with Emmett.

“I’m sort of jealous of your and Teddy’s friendship.” Emmett tells me.

“Why?” I ask.

“We normally tell each other everything, but he has this whole part of his life I never knew about.” He tells me.

“I asked him not to tell everyone where I was, which is most likely why he didn’t talk about it.” I tell him.

“When he came back I was still so angry at the way he left that I told him I didn’t want to know anything about the vacation he took on our relationship.” He tells me.

“Nothing about the rehab he did was a vacation, but he also knew he had to earn each of your friendships back. It’s what we talked about when he wanted to leave the rehab, that he was doing it so he could prove to you that he wanted to be the person you loved.” I tell him.

“Why did you help Teddy?” He asks.

“At first it was for Brian. He might have acted like he could care less about Ted, but he let Ted stay around him. Which made Brian someone Ted respected. After Ted and I got to know each other it was because I like the man Ted is, but could see he felt like he was on the outside of the group, the same way I did. It's why I told him I was leaving, because he understood what it was like to not know your place in Brian’s life. When I saw him being wheeled into an ambulance, I didn’t want him to be alone. I stayed so he would at least wake up to someone he knew. Not that he looked anything like the guy I knew. When he woke up and tried to act like he hadn’t hit rock bottom, it was because I cared that he was throwing away everything that mattered to him. I also knew he’d give up on rehab, unless there was someone to remind him why he needed to do it.” I tell him.

“I didn’t know how to get him to stop.” He tells me, when we got up to leave.

“Wes and I didn’t give him a choice if he wanted us to help him.” I tell him.

“It still makes you sound like a better friend than I was, but it also shows me the friend I missed out on in you.” He tells me, hugging me.

I felt Emmett’s hands be taken off of me and was being pulled back into Brian’s arms. “Why does he always hug you?” Brian growls.

MICHAEL

Walking around Liberty Avenue seeing groups of friends wandering around reminded me of when my friends and I did this. Brian always had his arm on my shoulder, never leaving anyone in doubt that I was the one he cared about. Brian could deny the truth, but his actions were there for everyone to see. Justin even saw it when I was around and Brian would ignore him in favor of me. I didn’t expect him to settle down with me now, but eventually, doing what we always talked about, growing old together. He never broke a promise, and everyone knew that. Then Justin turns Brian’s world upside-down and it's like Brian loses what makes him Brian.

The whole time Brian was spouting shit about my relationships - which really was hilarious, since he never once admitted Justin was more than an occasional fuck - I wanted to tell him that he forgot he's been in a relationship with me most of his life. We had an emotional bond that he isn't seeing is better than anything Justin ever had to offer. I never cheated on Brian, but found people to fill the parts that Brian wasn’t ready to give me.

I stopped when I saw Ted and Emmett coming out of the diner and thought of all the times it was usually me and Brian following them, with Brian hanging all over me before he'd peck my lips and we'd be off to the club or on our way home. I know he stopped it when Ben and I started dating, but only because he was knew it wasn't fair to Ben to have to witness our bond with each other.

Brian came out, followed by Justin, and I watched as he turned Justin against the building and was all over him. Then my nightmare happened.

“I've never said it before, but I love you.” Brian announced, without sounding sarcastic.

I ran, because it changed everything, those were the words he only ever told me. It made everything he did with me in the past look superficial in comparison. I ran faster, thinking of all the times Ben said it to me, looking at me the way Brian was looking at Justin. It was then that I realized I threw away Ben on a future Brian owed me for loving him all my life. What did Justin give Brian that had him willing to give me up? That thought kept circling my head as ran, and wasn’t paying attention when I knocked a kid over.

“Michael are you okay?” Ben asks as his boyfriend, Gavin helped the kid up.

“Is he okay?” The kid asks.

“Can you guys go ahead while I make sure?” Ben asks.

“We’ll see you at home, don't be too late. We have to take Hunter to school.” Gavin kisses Ben before walking away with the kid.

“Why were you running like hell hounds were chasing you?” He asks.

“Why didn’t we work?” I ask, wanting to hear it was about Justin.

“It's been years now, why ask now when you didn’t bother to then?” He asks.

“I need to know.” I tell him.

“I didn’t want to live in the place that was reserved for Brian. Our relationship centered around Brian, as if I was there to give you what Brian wasn’t. It's why I almost left you when you practically glued yourself to Brian’s side when Justin left, as if nothing was important but showing Brian you gave him things that made you better than Justin. I thought we were getting back on track, but then there was the second issue of Rage. Justin didn’t stop you from continuing and your thanks for that was to kill off JT. When you said Brian should have left him to die, there was the proof you really meant that about the person who never did anything but help you, and I no longer saw you as someone I wanted to be with.” He tells me.

“How I felt about Justin had nothing to do with us.” I tell him.

“It did when it also showed me you were still in love with Brian. I wanted a relationship where I came first to the man I loved. Which you couldn’t give me, because you were still waiting for Brian.” He tells me.

“Why can’t Brian see Justin for what he is, a cheating asshole who had Brian paying for everything?” I ask.

“Why would it matter, Justin’s been gone for years?” He asks me.

“He came back.” I tell him.

“We could talk all night, but I have a family to get home to.” Ben tells me, walking off.

“What aren’t you saying?” I ask.

“It’s not something you ever wanted anyone to tell you.” He tells me.

“What?”

“If Brian loved you the way you wanted, Justin coming back wouldn’t change that.” He tells me, as he follows his family.

JUSTIN

I spent all night not being able to sleep, Brian actually said it out loud, in public, without caring who heard it. It was the first time I couldn’t say it back, because I couldn't speak. When we got home, he wanted to show me the loft below his.

“I bought it a month ago, to expand and give Gus a bedroom. It's the same size as upstairs only the previous owner gutted the storage area to create more rooms. ” He tells me.

“When do you plan to remodel it?” I asked.

“When we decide how this relationship works with you living in California.” He tells me.

“What are you really asking?”

“I’m asking you to make Pittsburgh your home base. If the things you told me you wanted are going to be possible, it means having a place that we call home.” He tells me.

“Do you really want what I do? Because it was never something you believed in.” I tell him.

“Why would I, when there wasn’t someone I wanted it with? When we were together before you left, no I didn’t want what you described. In the time you were gone, everything changed for me. I wanted Gus to know he could depend on me, which meant revising my views on life. He needed to hear and see that love was a fact, not bullshit. When you left, I tried to return to the life before you, but I realized there really wasn’t one before you.” He tells me.

“When we tried living together before, it drove you insane. I’m still unorganized and leave things everywhere, and I expect there to be food when I open the refrigerator. I don’t want tricks in my house or around my kids if I ever have them. It’s asking you for a lot more than just making a home with me.” I tell him.

“No tricks?” He asks.

“If you still want tricks, then that’s completely your decision. I just don’t want them in my face and I don’t want to find them here in the bed we share. Tricking wasn’t a problem, it was when it felt like you were using it to put me in my place and tell me to stop expecting more.Then having to listen to Michael use it as proof of what he was always telling me.” I tell him.

“Why were you listening to Michael?” He asks.

“If Michael wanted you to do something, you didn’t come up with excuses, but did what he wanted. We ended up at that boring ass slideshow because Michael wanted you there. Everything he wanted, you did. Anything I wanted was dependent on your mood, which normally meant no.” I tell him.

“I wanted to go with you to Vermont, I know you don’t believe me when I didn’t go.” I tell him.

“It was hard to believe, because instead of giving me a reason, you just walked out saying it was business.” I tell him.

“Vance threatened my job, which I needed to pay for everything including your tuition.” He tells me.

“Why not just tell me that? I would have understood.” I tell him.

“I didn’t want you to worry about it, when I could fix it. Only I got home wanting to celebrate with you and found out you went without me. You missed hearing something that I was ready to tell you.” He tells me.

“That you made partner?” I ask.

“I think it was something along the lines of “Your partner just made partner.” He tells me.

“I need to ask you something, it’s about my prom. Why did you come?” I ask.

“Because you asked, and I wanted to give you the night you wanted.” He tells me.

“When I asked you blew me off, I remember that. It’s why it still confuses me that you came.” I tell him.

“When we left the dance, you knew your place in my life. It’s forever buried in the memories you lost that night. When you walked away from the jeep, you knew the words I never said out loud were true. That I loved you. After what happened, I couldn’t say them to you.” He tells me.

“But you could tonight?” I ask.

“When Ted said that your independence was why I loved you, I didn’t see the reason you shouldn’t know what everyone else did. I didn’t fool anyone, acting like nothing changed when you left, not even me. There was an empty space in my life that only you could fill.” He tells me.

“I know the feeling.” I tell him, walking into his arms.

“Then help me fill this space with your mess and my son.” He tells me.

“After I take Gus out tomorrow, do you have time to come with me and help me pack?” I tell him.

“I’ll even bring helpers, Emmett needs to see the parts of Ted’s life he missed out on.” He tells me.

“Wes always wanted to meet Emmett.” I tell him.

“I sort of want to meet Wes, he apparently developed followers in you and Ted.” He says, sounding jealous.

“He wants to meet you, because I couldn’t stop loving you.” I tell him, kissing the smirk he gave me.

GUS

I waited in the living room with my back pack, ready with all the things my Mom thinks you need to go to the zoo. She wanted to come with us, but I wanted to it to be just me and Justin, I had questions to ask so I knew if he was good enough for my Dad, and Mom would be too busy talking his ear off for him to answer. I told her to arrange her own day with Justin, because today was for me to make sure he loves my dad the way my dad loves him.

When Justin pulled up I ran out the door, hoping we could just go, but Mom of course had to follow me and ask if Justin wanted to come to dinner at our house tomorrow. I wasn’t happy to hear him tell her that he was going back to California, and I was about to ask why he came back if he was going to leave my dad again. I didn’t have to though, because he told her that we could do dinner after he and my dad came back. He managed to get us in the car and headed to the zoo when I told him I wanted to go there. I waited until we were walking around to ask him anything.

“Did you ever miss my dad?”

“All the time. I missed everyone, but he was the one I wanted to come back here for.” He tells me.

“They talked about you a lot every time we had family dinners. Not my dad, but my moms and Grandma Deb. Dad only talked about you when it was just me and him. He told me he didn’t like the way everyone talked about him and you.” I tell him.

“They were used to saying things as if it was a joke, not understanding that sometimes it wasn’t what we wanted to hear.” He tells me

“Like how Michael calls you names? They wouldn’t say anything, but I could tell no one thought it was funny. I don’t get why my dad didn’t tell him he didn’t like it, because he normally would tell Michael to shut up if it upset Grandma Deb or my moms, which it did. ” I tell him.

I found a bench and we sat in front of the monkey cage. “Were you ever jealous because someone got something you wanted?” He asks.

“Yeah.” I told him.

“It’s the way Michael feels about me. He didn’t want your Dad with me. It made it hard for either of us to like each other.” He tells me.

“Why would he be jealous, they could have still been friends? It’s not like Dad talked about him the way he did about you. When I ask about you, he tells me things like when you cooked him dinner and showed him he wanted to be the best dad I could have.” I tell him.

“He didn’t need me to convince him, he showed me that the night you were born. It was like the only person in the room was you when he held you for the first time.” He tells me.

“Do you love my dad?” I ask, as we were leaving the zoo.

“Since the moment we met.” He tells me.

“Then why did you leave?” I asked, because if he loved Dad, why leave?

“I thought your dad was giving up the things he wanted in order to take care of me. I needed to see if I could take care of myself, instead of your dad always taking care of me. The only thing I should've done was at least tell your dad that I left. It was thoughtless and selfish to think it was okay to leave the way I did.” He tells me.

“He said I noticed you weren’t around. I guess you were spending a lot of time with me.” I tell him, wanting to know if he really spent that much time with me.

“It's one of the things that made me happy, spending the day with you.” I tell him.

“If you moved back here, I could make you happy all the time.” I tell him.

“It’s why your dad and I are going to California, so I can pack and move back. You're the first to know.” He tells me, which meant my dad would be happy too. So Justin could stay.

BRIAN

Ted came charging in, wanting to know why he needed to be on a flight in the morning. I purposely left out where we were going, because it stung he out negotiated me on his job.

“Brian, I wasn’t kidding. I will not go as your secretary to take notes on changes a client wants to the campaign.” He tells me, slapping the note I left on his desk that he needed to clear his calendar for a trip.

“You're the one who wanted me to share you with Wes. I figured while Justin was packing to move here, you, Wes, and I could talk about how this will work.” I tell him.

Ted fell in the chair, losing the indignation he walked in with. “Justin really agreed to move back here?” He asks.

“Yes, and I need you to help me with some changes that I need. The loft below mine, I want to get the remodeling started so Justin can have a place to work, because when he’s not going to locations, he needs a place to where he can work.” I tell him.

“He’s going to stay in the loft below you?” He asks.

“No we are going to join the two lofts, and live together. I want it so Justin has an office with what he needs so he doesn’t have to live in California. I’m going to go ahead and tell you that while Justin is in Australia, you and Cynthia are going to be in charge here, so I can visit him as often as possible. ” I tell him.

“Why not just give Justin an office here? We have everything he would need to do his job.” He tells me.

“If he’s good with that idea, then we’ll do it. Do me a favor and tell Emmett he’s coming with us. I need a few helpers so we can get Justin packed and moved faster.” I tell him.

“So we’re really only invited so you don’t have to do more than order us around.” He jokes.

“I’ll even give you the rest of the day off, so you can get your beauty rest for Wes.” I tell him.

“If only he was interested, but alas we were fated to be friends, like all the God’s of gay men.” Ted laughs, leaving.

BRIAN

When we landed Justin was rushing off the plane to find Wes. I got my first look at the man who helped Justin become the man he is. For the first time I could say Ted’s description fit the person. Wes was taller than me, blond hair, ice blue eyes, but there was warmth in the way he looked at Justin and Ted. When Justin introduced Emmett and I, it stayed there, as if he didn’t have any problem with me. It was a first with the Taylor men for me. We picked up our bags with Wes helping Emmett, who apparently thought we were staying for a month.

When we got to Wes’s house, Ted and Justin helped Emmett to his room and left me and Wes alone.

“Justin told me he’s moving back to Pittsburgh.” He tells me.

“Do you have a problem with that?” I ask.

“Not at all. He’s an adult and can decide his life. I want to know that he’s not walking back into what he left behind.” He tells me.

“It wasn’t a life I wanted when I met Justin.” I tell him.

“I wasn’t talking about the open relationship, that’s something you both decided together. He needs to know the things he thought when he came here are wrong. If you’ve talked about it, then I’ll stay out of it.” He tells me.

“Justin knows that Michael wasn’t ever going to get the position in my life that he had from the night we met.” I tell him.

“How did you convince Ted to stay?” He asked, changing the subject.

“He likes being surrounded by the God’s of Gay men.” I smirk.

“I’ve always wanted to try to be a God, not sure yet whether it’s to men or women.” He smirked back.

“Justin said you owned a few clubs here?” I asked, figuring it was something we had in common.

“I started out as a bartender, then when my inheritance came through, I bought my first club. I expanded as I had the money to invest in the next. It irritated the family that I ran clubs that didn’t have ‘country’ in the name, so it's a plus in my book.” He tells me.

“Not a big fan of Craig either?” I asked.

“He lost any good feeling I had when Justin told me what he did to both him and Aunt Jen. I might not have kept in contact, but Jen was always someone I liked, in a family I barely tolerated.” He tells me.

“Jen and I weren't close, but respected her for sticking by Justin.” I tell him.

“I wish she'd called me, I would have come back. What happened in that courtroom wasn’t a surprise. The elite stick together, and with Craig withdrawing support from Justin, it just made what they did easier.” He tells me.

“At least the judge got a little payback.” I smiled, remembering.

“Not enough, but it made Justin laugh when he told me what happened. Thank you, even though no one knows how it happened.” He tells me.

“It's a mystery.” I tell him, repeating Justin’s words from long ago.

“One of many.” He tells me.

I thought about that when Ted, Emmett, and Justin came back saying they wanted to go to the beach.

MICHAEL

I went to a bar that David once took me to, when he wanted me to meet his friends. I remembered they sat around talking about their vacations and upcoming social events, which bored me to tears. I wanted to prove to myself that it was David who made our relationship not work. I was staring into my glass when someone bumped me, it was one of David's friends.

“Don’t we know each other?” He asks.

“I dated David Cameron for a while.” I tell him, when I couldn’t remember his name.

He was one of David's better looking friends, who didn’t treat me like I was invisible all night.

“Byron William, in case you forgot.” He smiled at me, shaking my hand, not letting go.

“Michael Novotny.” I tell him.

“If you want you can join me and my friends for a drink. Catch up, get to know each other.” He offers.

“Sure, it's not like I'm waiting on anyone.” I tell him.

We got to the table and there were four others sitting there. Byron introduced me to Rick, Toby, Ian and Jeff. They said hi but continued the conversation they were having.

“Ignore them, they get on a topic and nothing stops them.” He tells me.

“You're usually the one who starts us all by giving us something to argue about.” Jeff says, putting an arm around Byron.

“I can’t help that none of you have an original thought.” He jokes, leaning into me and making Jeff’s arm fall.

“Maybe Michael’s got something interesting to say.” Jeff says, sounding unhappy.

“I really just came back over to say I had plans, so we'll see you later.” Byron tells them, taking me with him.

I didn’t understand why he wanted to leave with me, but I followed him. We got outside and he offered me a ride. When he took me to his place, he didn’t waste time showing me what he wanted. The next morning I woke up to Jeff scowling at me.

“You need to leave, I'm sure you can find the door.” He tells me.

“Where's Byron?” I ask.

“At work, which I'm going to be late for, but decided to deal with you for him. In case you’ve got any happily ever after idea in your head, it won’t happen. So get out and leave my best friend alone.” He tells me.

“I don’t think it's your decision if he wants me.” I tell him.

“Your funeral, because if he has to choose one of us, I doubt it's the trick that didn’t leave when he should've.” He tells me. “I was nice enough to order you a cab, so why not test me and leave. He's never going to want more from you.” He tells me.

I dressed and left, wanting to tell him he could threaten all he wants, but if Byron calls I'll show him.

JUSTIN

Brian kept trying to keep an umbrella over me, which had Emmett laughing at him. When that didn’t work he brought out the sunblock and told me he likes my skin it's original color.

“Coming from Mr Tanning Bed, that's hysterical.” Ted tells him.

“At least he won't be screaming in pain like you will.” Brian tells him.

Ted fell in love with Aloe Vera that night, while Brian showed me the advantages of not being sunburnt. After dinner that Emmett help Wes with, we all decided to get some sleep, since Brian wanted to get started on moving me out of California. We got to my room and Brian looked around while I took a shower. I came out to him looking at the pictures on my dresser.

“Where did you get all of these?” He asks.

“Ted sent them and I developed them. I got to see Gus growing up that way.” I tell him.

He turned and took my towel off, before taking off his clothes. Then backed us up to the bed and laid down next to me. When I tried to go down on him, he pushed me back and went down on me. He kept his eyes on mine as he swallowed every inch of me. Then pulled back swirling his tongue over my slit as it leaked. I felt his fingers running around my rim before breaching my entrance one at a time. He used his other hand to play with my nipples. When I was close he withdrew his fingers from my ass and grabbed a condom, pulling me up on his lap. He teased with shallow thrusts, and I responded by thrusting down so he was all the way in, instead of playing. I pushed him back and rode him hard, slowing down when he was close only to quicken when I felt the need to cum. He stroked me and I came on his chest. Which was when I landed on my back with Brian over me kissing me as he reached his peak.

I laughed when I heard Emmett say, “Dear Judy, You're slacking, there has to be a man who could make me scream like that. Could you check into that.”

MICHAEL

I saw Byron the next day and he smiled, but was talking to some other guy. He left with him, which had Jeff sitting next to me, smirking.

“He's had you, go find someone else.” He tells me.

I left to find Byron, because the things we did aren’t something you do with a trick. He answered his door, confused at why I was there.

“Did you forget something the other day?” He asks.

“I thought…”

“What, that we were together?” He asks.

“You seemed to like me the other night.” I tell him.

“It was fun, but I'm not really looking for permanent. If you want to join me and… shit what was your name?” He asks the other guy standing in the hall.

“Mark, but he's really not my type.” The guy says.

“Naked with a hard on, does it really matter?” Byron tells him.

Mark picked up his jacket and left, which had Byron telling me if I wanted him, get naked and show him. Once again I woke up and Jeff was standing over me, but this time throwing my clothes at me and telling me I know the drill and it was time to stop chasing Byron like a stalker.

“He’s the one who invited me in.” I tell him.

“I'm the one who has to deal with all you dumb asses thinking he loves you. Get a clue. He loves fucking, not the person he fucks. You’re wasting your time if you think you're special to him.” He tells me, opening the front door.

“He's never going to want you either.” I tell him.

“What I have with Byron is more than you ever will.” He tells me, slamming the door.

TED

Wes sat with me, when the others went out to look at the shops.

“I think they’ll work this time.” I tell Wes.

“What’s different? Justin mentioned that Brian didn’t blow off what Justin wanted.” He tells me.

“When Justin showed up, if we’d been dealing with the old Brian, he would have ignored Justin and pushed him away. He didn’t. In fact he’s doing everything to show Justin he wants him around.” I tell him.

“I want them to work, it means there’s a chance that anyone could work.” He tells me.

“Did you ever love someone like that?” I ask.

“I think we all do, it’s just shitty timing for some of us.” He tells me.

“Sort of like with Blake and Emmett for me.” I tell him.

“Why didn’t you ever try to find Blake?” He asks.

“When he took off, it just didn’t encourage me that he wanted us.” I tell him.

“Ted, sometimes they take off because they don’t feel like they have anything to offer. I know you and Emmett tried, but nothing about you two says there is more than friendship in that relationship. When you talk about Blake it’s different.” He tells me.

“What about you, why not find who you want and see if anything changed?” I ask.

“It wouldn’t matter, he’s married and says he’s happy with not defying convention. It’s not a closet I want to visit again.” He tells me.

“I never asked because you were with both women and men.” I tell him.

“I lean towards men, but women can get my attention too. It was the reason I left home. Because I wanted to live my life the way I wanted it and I wasn’t willing to settle for a woman when I wasn’t sure who I really wanted. It’s really not an issue for me right now, because I like the way my life is, I’m in the same boat Brian was in when he met Justin, only I haven’t met someone who makes me want to change yet. When I do, nothing will stop me from making the life I want with the person I want. It’s why I think you need to look up Blake again, because you both left it unsaid.” He tells me.

On the flight home I thought about what Wes said, and decided it couldn’t hurt to see if Blake ever let go of Crystal. Emmett sat next to me, smiling and happy at getting away from everyone.

JUSTIN

Brian and I went to Babylon, because I wanted to see it. Emmett and Ted agreed to meet us. Brian and I danced until they arrived, it was different than before, because anytime someone tried to break in, they got the Kinney ‘fuck off’.  After the fifth one, I suggested we get a drink, because it seem to be pissing him off, even when it was him they were trying for. Brian told me to order while he talked to the manager. Emmett came over when Ted followed Brian up the stairs. We were looking around at the guys, not really ready to dance yet.

“You're here five minutes and already have guys eyeing you.” Emmett tells me, nodding at a guy across the dance floor.

“Not anyone I want.” I tell him.

“Are you and Brian still open?” He asks.

“It's not something we’ve said was closed. I like variety sometimes, but not right now. “ I tell him.

“Do you think Brian is ready for it to be just you and him?” He asks.

“It's his decision. My only stipulations are not in my face or our bed.” I tell him.

“How does it not bother you?” He asks.

“I know they mean nothing to him. If he wants to stop he will, but it's something he has to decide that he wants.” I tell him.

“It might be decided sooner than you think.” Emmett tells me, looking up.

I look up to see Brian standing on the catwalk with Ted, scowling at the guy staring at me. I laughed when a hot number tried to get Brian’s attention, which had him looking annoyed that I didn’t run up there. Brian looked at the one who rubbed himself against him, trying to run his hands down Brian's chest. Brian shook his head and pushed the guy at another guy standing behind him, then glared at the one staring in my direction.

“This guy must be part of the new crowd. It's the first time I've seen anyone challenge Brian’s glare.” Emmett tells me.

The guy walks straight to me, not caring when his friends were shaking their heads to get him to stop. He had preppy playboy written all over him as he eyed me up and down.

“Want to dance?” He leered.

“I'm sure he does, but not with you.” Brian tells him, grabbing my hand and taking me out to dance again.

“Is there something bothering you?” I ask, kissing his chin.

“How hard is it for these assholes to see you came with me?” He asks.

“It's no different than when we used to come here.” I remind him.

“It's different now, Justin.” He stares at me.

“Why?” I ask.

“I never wanted to kill the fuckers who think you're available.” He growls.

“I'm not.” I tell him, making him smile.

“Neither am I.” He tells me.

“What are you saying?” I ask.

“Unless we agree we want to play together, it's only us.” He tells me.

“If it happens when we're not together then we tell each other, no harm or foul. I would love to be monogamous, but it was never a requirement.” I tell him.

“For now just assume it's what we are, because I'm not sharing you.” He tells me, glaring at someone behind me.

“Are you jealous? Because no one will ever be you, for me.” I tell him.

“Here's a secret, with you, I do jealousy.” He whispers in my ear.

“Here's a better secret, I only love you.” I whisper, kissing him.

EMMETT

“I think Justin needs to re-evaluate the Kinney Operating Manual.” I tell Teddy.

“Apparently there are new amendment he needs Justin to insert in the old one.” Teddy tells me.

“I think they were there, but Justin didn’t know.” I tell him.

“Hey guys, I heard you were packing up Boy Wonder.” Michael says, standing next to us.

“Michael, leave Justin alone.” Teddy warns him.

“What?” Michael asks, distractedly looking across to the other bar.

“Do everyone a favor and let Brian decide his life without your opinion.” I tell him.

“What the fuck is he doing?” Michael asks, and I realized he wasn't even looking at Justin or Brian. They were walking towards us, lost in their own world.

Michael took off into the crowd, and all of us watched as he argued with the guy who hit on Justin. Which apparently Michael didn’t see.

“What’s wrong with Michael?” Justin asks, when Michael and the guy started arguing louder.

“Not sure, but we don't need a fight, and the guy to the left looks like he's waiting for a reason to start one.” Sean, the bartender said, handing Brian and Justin drinks.

“Who is that?” I ask.

“Byron William, he comes in occasionally to trick, but in the last week Michael’s been following him around.” Sean tells us.

“If they start a fight, call it in.” Brian tells Sean. “Justin’s stomach is going off, time to feed him.” Brian tells us.

We followed them out, seeing new pages that seem to leave Michael to handle his own problems. At the diner, Deb pointed to a booth, while running like a crazy woman. Justin kissed Brian and went to help her, and told us he’d place our orders. Brian watched as Justin started serving everyone, almost getting up when a guy tried to grab Justin.

“He learned the art of evade when he worked here.” Teddy tells Brian.

“They need to learn to stop thinking he's part of the menu.” Brian tells us, not taking his eyes off Justin.

Deb sits down next to Brian, laughing at him when we all heard the growl when a guy tried to slip a number in Justin’s pocket. “Brian, let it go, they can't help it when they see Sunshine.” Deb tells him. “Any of you talk to Michael lately?” She asks us.

“We all just got back, so we haven't seen him. Which now that I think about it, is odd.” I tell her.

“He's been a bit busy, finding out that maybe what Justin was dealing with wasn’t a cakewalk.” She tells us.

Brian moved Deb to go get Justin when someone got a little to frisky with the blond.

“What's up? I need a little gossip.” I tell her.

“He thinks some guy he's been chasing is the one. Only I don't think the guy is interested in more than a good time. Michael brought this guy Byron in with him the other night, fawning all over him, then chased the guy out the door when he left with another guy. All I know is, he hasn’t asked about Brian for days.” She tells us.

“That would make it easier on Justin and Brian. Since it seems Mr Kinney doesn’t plan to play the field now that Justin’s back.” I tell her.

“I guess he figured out he loved Justin.” Teddy tells us.

“He's known for quite a while, he just couldn't say when he had the chance the first time.” Deb tells us.

“Why do you say that?” I ask.

“When I told him one night that he loved Justin, he didn’t deny it.” She tells me, getting up to get the order for another table.

“He isn’t denying it now.” I smiled when Brian kissed Justin in front of everyone.

Michael came in looking upset, but passed Brian and Justin, not even noticing them, and sat down pouting. Teddy looked at me, silently asking if we really want to know. I shrugged because we will sooner or later, Michael doesn’t suffer alone. Michael looked at Brian and Justin, rolling his eyes at Brian following Justin around. Brian got Justin’s food while Justin was bringing ours, shoving Michael over and sitting down, before pulling Justin in.

“Do I want to know?” Brian asks him.

“I'm tired of ‘Mr Best Friend’ telling me I'm just a trick when I know it's more.” Michael tells him, causing Justin to choke on his drink.

Brian ignored Michael, checking on Justin before asking what Michael was talking about.

“I went to the place David used to take me to meet up with his friends, and bumped into Byron William, an old friend of David's. We’ve been sort of seeing each other, but his friend Jeff seems to think he has a say in everything Byron does. He keeps warning me off and telling me Byron isn’t interested in me, like he owns Byron. Byron treats me like crap when Jeff makes comments about me always being around. What’s worse is Byron takes off anytime Jeff calls, like it’s some emergency. ” Michael complains.

“Sounds familiar.” Justin whispered, then got up. “I need to get stuff done. Later.” Justin tells us, getting up to leave, with Brian trying to follow.

“Brian, help me out. This is bullshit but then all his friends are siding with that asshole Jeff.” Michael tells him, grabbing his arm, Justin snorted and walked out, leaving Brian to decide where he wanted to be.

It really wasn’t much of choice for Brian, listening to Michael or being with Justin. “Later Mikey, Justin and I had plans.” Brian tells him, pulling Michael’s hand off him and stopping long enough to grab the bag Deb held out for him. “Thanks, Ma.” Brian kissed her cheek when he looked in the bag.

Ted and I got up, deciding Michael could learn something about what it was like to be Justin. We already had front row seats to the original of that show, and Michael just couldn’t do the part of Justin any justice.

“Where is everyone going?” Michael asks.

I didn’t have time to answer, because Ted took off after looking out the window. I followed him to see where he was going. I got out in time to see Ted catch up to a guy and let myself feel a moment of jealousy, but overall happiness, when Blake looked just as happy to see Ted standing in front of him. I looked up to the sky and said a little prayer to Judy that it would work for Teddy this time, adding could she maybe see her way clear to helping her fairy godson out too.

BRIAN

I got back to the loft to find Justin putting things up in the bedroom before a box fell off the shelf he was putting some things on. I wanted to snatch the box, but didn’t because Justin needed to see he wasn’t a forgotten memory in my world. He pulled out the scarf, holding it on his lap, then looked through pictures he didn’t know I kept of us. He held my ticket to Vermont in his hand, staring into the box.

“I think back sometimes on things that could have changed the things I did. Weirdly enough, it wasn’t Vermont that upset me the most. It was the picnic you dismissed, but I never really connected that it was also when Ben got sick. I kept seeing it as more proof that Michael had parts of you I didn’t. I believed you cared, never doubt that, but Michael had a bigger hold on your heart.” He tells me.

“What do you think now?” I ask.

“That you were having to juggle a fourteen year friendship against a kid you barely knew.” He tells me.

“You didn’t need me the way Michael did, you were always one step ahead of me. It’s wasn’t easy thinking one day you were going to figure out I wasn’t the man everyone thought I was. I never wanted to see you look at me and be puzzled by why you ever wanted me in the first place. There were so many things I did that should have had you walking away, but you didn’t. The night you finally did, it wasn’t a mistake that you saw me. I wanted you to go and get the relationship you wanted.” I tell him.

“You’ve been the one person I always saw being with for the rest of my life.” He tells me, as he reached up, kissing me.

“Then, be my Partner, in everything.” I tell him.

JUSTIN

“Where are you going?” I asked, when Brian was up at three in the morning getting dressed.

“I wanted to get everything cleared away for this weekend.” He tells me.

“What’s going on this weekend?” I asked.

“I wanted us to spend time together, since you’re going to be leaving soon.” He tells me.

“I can turn it down.” I tell him.

Brian stopped everything and sat on the bed next to me. “I don’t want you giving up things for me. It’s one of the things I worried about when we were together. You were just beginning your life. Staying with me, would mean giving up opportunities because my life was here in Pittsburgh. You didn’t go to any of the colleges you talked about, but instead stayed here when there were other, better schools you could have picked.” He tells me.  

“I wanted to go to art school and PIFA wasn’t bottom of the barrel.” I tell him.

“Can you honestly say it was a school you wanted to go to, if you took me out of the equation?” He asks.

“Why bring it up when it’s no longer relevant?” I ask him, avoiding saying no.

“To make sure we don’t repeat the same mistakes. If you didn’t take the job, it should be because you didn’t want the job, not because we’re starting over. It’s not going to be like the past, both of us are in different places now and what we have is important to me. I’m willing to do what it takes for us to work, which wasn’t something I wanted in the beginning.” He tells me, leaning over me kissing me.

“There are so many things we could do instead of you going to work.” I tell him, pulling off his tie.

Brian pinned my hands to the bed, kissing me one last time before grabbing his tie and keys. “When we go away this weekend, there will be all the time in the world for…” He trailed off when I started stroking my cock.

Brian didn’t bother to fight what he wanted, and undressed, throwing his clothes everywhere. He pushed my hand out of his way and took me in his mouth, while running his fingers over my rim.

“One hour won’t hurt.” He tells me, grabbing a condom.

BRIAN

I finished everything by noon and was going to call and see if Justin wanted to eat lunch, but Deb came in and sat down, making sure I understood we were going to talk.

“To what do I owe the torture of your visit?” I ask.

“I wanted to know what your intentions towards my Sunshine are.” She tells me.

“Wouldn’t that be Jen’s job?” I ask.

“I'm sure she'll ask, but until then I’m the one waiting for an answer.” She tells me.

“I'm planning to make a life with him, give him everything he wants.” I tell her.

“I really expected you to give him a hard time for walking away.” She tells me.

“If I wanted him, then I had to show him we weren’t living in the past. I respect him for making the first move by facing me, and for not blaming how we screwed up solely on me.” I tell her.

“Even though it took him six years?” She asks.

“We both needed to grow up, which you should understand, since you wanted that when Michael was with David. The boy that left came back a man. A man who knows who he is and what he wants in life. I figured out my life wasn’t the same without him, and I don't want to play games when we're both on the same page.” I tell her.

“Think I could send Michael to Justin’s cousin?”

“Until Michael sees that his problems are because of him, there’s nothing Wes could do for him.” I tell her.

“You like Wes?” She asks.

“He gave Justin a place to figure out everything. He doesn't interfere or tell Justin how to run his life.” I tell her.

“Which I do with everyone?” She asks.

“We know it's because you love us, but there are some things we need to solve without answering to you.” I tell her.

“Vic would be jumping for joy that you two are back together.” She tells me, sadly.

“Justin showed up when Vic died.” I tell her, because it hurt her that Justin didn’t show up.

“Where was he?” She asks.

“He waited until we were all gone. Then made sure Vic knew he didn’t forget him. Justin was the white roses you kept finding.” I tell her.

“That little shit. Do you know all the strange theories Emmett and I were coming up with? It’s just like Justin to do things for people but never let anyone know he did them. It was fun to have a mystery in life, but I’m not upset that it’s finally solved. Kiss him for me, and tell him Vic thought about him often.” She tells me kissing me.

“Why not just tell him yourself?” I ask.

“He’s like you, he doesn’t want us to praise him for doing what he does for everyone, he just does things to make us happy.” She tells me, leaving.

I went to Ted’s office after Deb left, thinking about when Justin and I were dancing and he distracted me after saying it was a mystery why Kip backed off. It never made any sense, but Justin didn’t question it the way he usually questioned everything. I was just relieved it was over and never really questioned it.

“Hey Brian, I was going to bring you the financials but Deb was in there and I didn’t want to bother you.” He tells me.

“We were talking about mysteries in life. I told her about the flowers that managed to be on Vic’s grave.” I tell him.

“And?” He asks, pretending to be busy.

“I solved it when I caught up to Justin at the cemetery. Only he wasn’t here but that one time, so how did you managed to do it without anyone figuring it out?” I ask him.

“I couldn’t see him paying for them to be delivered when I could do it for him.” He tells me, looking relieved that I knew it was Justin.

“He seems to tell you all his secrets.” I tell him.

“We’re friends, and he knew I wouldn’t tell everyone, when it wasn’t about anyone but Vic.” He tells me.

“Did he ever tell you how we celebrated his eighteenth birthday? I  found out Kip wasn’t going to fuck over my career and offered to celebrate any way Justin wanted to. I guess he got a present for two things, getting Kip off my ass and his birthday.” I tell Ted, waiting to see if he spilled what I was starting to think was the truth.

“He didn’t see any reason to celebrate what that asshole was trying to do to you. He wasn’t thrilled the guy thought taking you down was the way to get ahead in life.” He tells me, making me want to spank the twat.

“How did he keep anyone from figuring it out?” I ask.

“Kip was more afraid of going to jail, and probably figured it was better to keep his mouth shut.” Justin says from behind me.

“Shit, he didn’t know.” Ted says, groaning.

“He was fishing and knew exactly how to get you to tell him what he wanted to know.” Justin tells Ted, laughing.

“I should spank your ass.” I tell him.

“Maybe, but there are so many things you could do instead, and did do that night.” Justin tells me, brushing off my threat.

“I could show you what I would have done if I knew.” I tell him, pulling him to me.

“Sounds like fun Mr Kinney.” Justin tells me, kissing me as his stomach goes off.

“Once again the beast has spoken, Ted let's go get Justin fed.” I tell them.

“Brian, before you go, we have a problem with Leo.” Cynthia tells me, looking at Justin.

“What’s the problem?” I ask her.

“He wants us to help him convince Drew Boyd to work on the new campaign. Apparently he figured out he looks like a homophobe because it’s the reason everyone believes he kicked Drew off the campaign. He wanted you to approach Drew and feel him out about it, and if Drew doesn’t want to do it then he wants you to find him someone else to help him show he’s gay friendly.” She tells him.

“It might be better to go with someone else. Drew wasn’t exactly happy with him or Kinnetik for tossing him aside.” I tell her.

“I don’t know how Emmett would take seeing him again either.” Ted tells us looking worried.

“It’s not about how Emmett would feel, it never was.” I tell Ted.

“Why would it bother Emmett?” Justin asks.

“Emmett was the reason Drew came out. But he broke up with Drew when Drew wanted to play the field.” Ted tells him.

“If nothing’s changed then Emmett should move on.” Justin tells him.

“It’s not easy to just move on.” I tell Justin.

“No it’s not, and I’m lucky I didn’t have to.” Justin tells me kissing me.

“Get Drew’s agent on the phone, I need to get this solved so Justin and I can try snowboarding.” I tell Cynthia.

“Brian, if you need to be here and work, it’s fine.” Justin tells me.

“Nothing is more important than this trip. It waited too long already. You weren’t the only one who learned something in the last six years.” I tell him.

JUSTIN

Brian asked me to take Emmett out while he and Ted talked to Drew. They both felt it was better to feel Drew out about the campaign and about Emmett, before possibly upsetting Emmett. I thought it would be better to at least tell Emmett, because he wasn’t a child. But they both asked me to let them make sure there was anything to tell Emmett first. Ted finally told me it was because he didn’t want Emmett hurt if Drew was with someone else. Which I could understand, because it was one of my fears when I left Brian, that he would find someone he loved enough to do everything for that he said he didn’t want.

When I called Emmett he said he wanted to go to this bar uptown. I didn’t figure it out until we were there and Michael came in, looking for someone. At first I was ambivalent about the whole thing, but now it was kind of funny to watch, because I was seeing things that didn’t resemble what Brian and I were doing.

Michael went to the bar and sat next to Byron, who was talking up another guy and completely ignoring Michael. It’s something Brian didn’t do to me, if I was there, he included me. Another thing was that Brian would never let me pay for anything, but Byron had Michael paying, not only for his drinks but for the trick of the night. It was bad when I started feeling sorry for Michael.

“Baby, think about it, it’s like watching everything Brian could have done if he really didn’t want you around. You would think Michael would have learned something watching you and Brian. Like the fact that Brian always paid attention to where you were and what you were doing. This Byron guy only seems to notice Michael if there isn’t anyone else to take home.” He tells me.

“Brian thinks he did things that should have had me walking away from him. I didn’t enjoy the tricks when I could tell he was only doing it to drive home the point we weren’t in a relationship, but it was really only in the beginning when he did that. It hurt when he did it, but he always ended up coming to find me and making sure I made it home.” I tell Emmett, shaking my head when Michael handed money to the bartender for a large round of drinks for Byron’s group.

“How else could he see it, you left him.” He tells me.

“It wasn’t because he was tricking that night. It was because everything I was doing wasn’t showing him I was worth everything he was doing for me. Brian blames himself for things that really never bothered me. We both agreed to an open relationship, but he agreed to the rules I asked of him. I started to feel like he was compromising everything, because he took me in and took care of me. I wanted to let him have a choice, but how could he when I was being pushed on him and he felt like it was his fault that Hobb’s did what he did.” I tell him, rolling my eyes when Michael tried to put his arm around Byron and Byron threw it off him. “He needs to figure out that if he wants Byron’s attention, he needs to ignore him.” I tell Emmett.

“Was that what you did?” He asks me.

“When Brian was busy, I found other people to play with, which had Brian showing up. Which worked because my nights ended with Brian tossing the trick aside. The only time it didn’t work was if Michael got upset about anything.” I tell him.

“Michael obviously should have paid attention to the Justin Operating Manual, because it’s really not sexy to sit there pouting while you pay for everyone’s night.” Emmett tells me as we watch Michael fold his arms and look pissy, but yet pay for another round, including for the trick Byron was practically fucking at the table.

“It worked for him when he was around all of us. He’s used to being the center of attention and most likely thinks if it worked once, it should work again.” I tell Emmett.

Michael spotted Emmett and I and came over, even though there has never been any reason he would think I would care what he does. Emmett looked at me as if apologizing that Michael was about to sit with us. I just prayed that Byron wouldn’t see me and think it would be a good thing to come over and hit on me. It really wasn’t a compliment to me that he was interested in Michael.

“I can’t believe he’s acting like I’m not here.” Michael tells us, sitting down.”Why are you two here?” He ask.

“Brian and Ted had a business thing.” Emmett tells him.

Byron leans over whispering in the other guy’s ear and Michael started to get up. There was a part of me that just wanted to see Byron treat Michael like he was an annoying asshole, but I was here to keep Emmett occupied. “I’m ready to get something to eat before we meet Brian at Babylon.” I tell Emmett, and like always, Michael just has to hear ‘Brian will be around’ and he forgets everything else.

“We might as well go to the diner, it will get Ma off my back about being nice to you.” Michael tells me.

“Just what I wanted, to make your life easier.” I muttered, wanting to kick my own ass for saving Michael from embarrassing himself.

We got up, and damnit, Byron looked over at us and left the table and the trick to catch us. I wrapped my arm around Emmett and kissed him, making him look at me like I’d lost my mind, or maybe it was the fear that Brian would kill him. Which maybe he would, but I would handle Brian later if we didn’t lose Byron. Michael looked thrilled as Byron told him he would love to come with us to get dinner.

“We’d love for you to come and pay for dinner.” I added, just because the guy rubbed me the wrong way, in a way Michael hadn’t accomplished.

BRIAN

When Cynthia called Drew’s agent, he called back telling her that Drew was in town and would meet us for dinner to discuss what Leo wanted. We got to the restaurant Drew kept us waiting for thirty minutes before showing up and looking disappointed that it was just Ted and me.

“Leo didn’t come, I guess he didn’t want me as badly as it sounds.” Drew tells us, but all I was seeing was it wasn’t Leo not being here that bothered Drew.

“I told Leo if it seemed like you were still pissed about what happened then we could look for someone with a better reputation than you. It would just be better to use you to show there were no hard feelings about you causing us to dump you for not disclosing that there was a possible PR nightmare about to happen.” I tell him.

“It wouldn’t have happened if Emmett had been a woman.” He tells me.

“With Leo’s family oriented values, your cheating on your fiancee would have been a problem for him, whether it was with a man or a woman.” I tell him.

“Brian Kinney protecting a homophobe, not something I ever thought anyone would live to see.” Drew tells me.

“Actually it was protecting the reputation of the company I was paid to sell. Leo knew I was gay and didn’t have a problem with it. You on the other hand hid it, cheated on the woman you were in a high profile relationship with, while she was planning your wedding and inviting the press in to see the how much in love you two were. Leo wanted someone who people could look up to representing his campaign, unfortunately you proved even queers couldn’t look up to you, since you couldn’t even admit that fucking men meant you were gay. It would really be a contest to figure out which one of you was the homophobe. But that’s the past. Now you need to decide if the money he’s willing to pay to promote a gay man can overcome your anger that we decided not to join in your tabloid covered coming out. This is business, which was never as personal as you took it. It’s something Emmett figured out when you left him to finish your education.” I tell him.

“How is Emmett?” He asked, casually.

“Good. His business survived being your wedding planner.” I tell him.

“I get it Brian, I was wrong about everything.” He tells me.

“Good. So are you considering this campaign, or were you just here to waste my time in hopes of seeing Emmett?” I ask.

“Does he know you're talking to me?” He asks, which means until we talk Emmett, everything else doesn’t matter.

“No. We didn’t want Emmett to be hurt if you had moved on.” Ted tells him.

“I don’t think you move on from Emmett. For me, no one compares to him.” Drew tells us.

“If you believe that why didn’t you ever call him again?” Ted asks.

“I figured by now he'd have found someone who wanted what he did, I didn’t want to see it.” He tells us.

“He hasn’t, but then he really hasn’t mentioned you either.” I tell him, making Drew look like I shot him. It’s really not my thing, this emotional drivel. Well Justin’s different, but overall I still don’t deal with this shit.

“Which really means more than you think. Emmett talks about everything, unless it’s something that hurts him. In that case it takes a lot of cosmos and man done wrong, then it’s all about you.” Ted hopefully is joking.

“Now that we’ve established that Emmett possibly thinks you're the one for him, can we talk about you representing the campaign?” I ask.

“I’ll say yes if you arrange for Emmett and I to see each other. Nothing more, just the chance to tell him he was wrong. I didn’t need to experiment when I already had him.” He tells me.

“I’ll text Justin to bring Emmett to Babylon.” I tell him, as I take out my phone.

He texted back, saying they were on their way after they ate. Figured he was eating again.

“He’ll be at Babylon tonight.” I tell Drew.

“Then get the contracts, the only thing my agent requires is a twenty percent increase in my payment and a penalty if Brown drops me again, unless it’s a morality issue.” He tells me.

“Leo was willing to go forty, and we’ll stick him with that, for being a homophobe.” I tell him, smirking.

Drew followed us into Babylon. I took us up to the catwalk to find Justin and Emmett in the sea of bodies. I heard Drew curse and looked at what he was looking at. Honeycutt is going to die. I glared at the guy who grabbed my arm, he rolled his eyes at me.

“Remember me, the guy at the King of Babylon contest? I left with Justin? Sean? Whatever. Justin told me to tell you he just didn’t want to cause a fight tonight so he and Emmett are just keeping that from happening.” He tells me.

“Did Justin also explain why he and Emmett would be kissing and generally doing things I don’t like, together?” I ask him.

“Um, well it’s that whiny guy you hang out with, apparently his friend keeps hitting on Justin and Justin said whiny blames…”

I walk down through the bodies and once again took Emmett’s hands off Justin’s ass. “Shoulders won’t make me kill you.” I tell Emmett.

“Look, the guy didn’t get it when Justin told him he’d rather have an acid bath then let him near said ass. I just like the way it pissed him off that I could touch it.” Emmett jokes.

“Most people would love what you touched, but it really seems to upset Drew.” I tell Emmett, tilting my head at the quarterback glaring at Justin.

Emmett looked up, then kissed Justin on the lips before walking out of Babylon. Drew watched, then ran when he realized the man he wanted had just walked out the door.

“I’m going to spank your ass.” I tell him.

“Gosh, please don’t Mr. Kinney. I’ll be very, very good.” Justin tells me, rubbing my hard on.

“Come on. I know you want to see what’s happening, then we are going home.” I tell him, holding onto his ass and making sure to pass the asshole, who needs to understand Mikey’s the best he could hope for.

“Brian, come meet Byron.” Mikey yells. But really why would I care, any more than I did with the last two Mikey couldn’t make work with. Especially when this one is too busy staring at Justin and any other ass he thinks is available.

EMMETT

It had to be shock that caused me to run away instead of talking to Drew. I always had this fantasy that we'd meet again. But nowhere in there was him looking pissed at me, or that I'd still be single. I let him go, and decided to get on with my life. I wasn’t going to wait forever, because I believed if you love someone you stayed and found a way to make it work. It's why what Justin did never made any sense to me. He loved Brian, but couldn’t stay and fight for them, but in the end what I did wasn’t fighting for Drew either.

“Emmett stop, I just wanted to talk.” Drew tells me, running to catch me.

“Really, why?” I ask, once I stopped and turned around.

“I need to tell you, I should have seen you were everything I wanted.” He tells me.

“You were new to the whole scene, you were doing what we always do at first.” I tell him.

“You weren’t my first Emmett. You were just the first one I didn’t want to hide, in a life where all I did was hide everything.” He tells me.

“Why are you here now?” I ask.

“I guess I was hoping that you hadn’t managed to find what you wanted.” He tells me.

“It’s different after understanding what love really was. Love means too much to give it away to just anyone.” I tell him.

“We both learned the same thing, because no one was you.” He tells me.

“If you figured that out why didn’t you come find me?” I ask, still skittish about Drew.

“The same reason you never answered anytime I tried to contact you after we parted ways. We were both afraid of hearing we were really over.” He tells me.

I stood there trying to figure out why I wasn’t jumping in his arms, when he never talked like this before. I looked over at Justin standing in front of Brian, watching me and Drew. I realized that sometimes it’s being in the same place in your life at the same time. I held out my hand, giving him the opportunity to take it.

“This just means I’m willing to get to know you again.” I tell him.

“I’ll take what you give me, and show you we can be more.” He tells me, grabbing it and pulling me to him.

BRIAN

Justin didn’t waste time once we got to the loft, he was naked and in the shower before I got to the bedroom. I looked at him under the spray, and remembered the first morning when I walked in and saw him. I couldn’t get enough of him, and would have continued all day if life hadn’t interfered. I walked in, pulling him to me, wanting us as close as I could get him. He turned his head and I leaned down sealing our lips together, as I ran my hands down his chest before finding him hard and ready. I rubbed my cock up and down teasing him as I played with his ass. His hands were gripping my hips as he moved with me. He started begging me to fuck him and I reached for a condom, letting my soapy fingers open him up. When he was ready, he pushed back, taking me to the root. He used my hand to stroke him as he thrusted for us. I felt him tighten knowing he was about to cum, and when he did, I grabbed his hands, holding them to the wall and thrusted faster, until I came.

Justin was practically asleep when I dried him off, saying he needed to call Daphne soon, or she’d kick his ass for not telling her we were trying again. He curled his hand under the pillow and turned to his side. I didn’t do what I normally did and sleep on my side of the bed, but curled around Justin, reaching my arm around him, falling asleep thinking this was one of the things I never liked unless it was Justin.

I left Justin in bed the next morning and went to get him breakfast. Deb was there as usual, and told me I obviously forgot I was feeding Justin, when I ordered to go. She came back with two bags.

“He’ll snack on the other stuff, you really need to start keeping more food in the loft.” She tells me.

“He’ll eventually shop, because I never buy ‘the good shit’, according to him.” I tell her.

“I heard there was some excitement at Babylon last night.” She tells me.

“Drew apparently still wants Emmett.” I tell her.

“While Emmett was kissing and groping Sunshine.” She laughs, when I might have growled.

I left to get this to Justin before he woke up, so he wouldn’t be grouchy at eating healthy shit. I got back to see Gus sitting in the kitchen eating with Lindsay and Justin. I was disappointed because I wanted to surprise Justin by bringing him breakfast, but happy to see Gus and Justin were getting along.

“I came over to see Justin, but also to let you know that Mel and I were going to let Gus visit Justin while he’s gone.” Lindsay tells me.

“He can come with me. I planned to spend the last two weeks he has to work with him. Then we could come home together.” I tell her.

“Mel and I were hoping to visit too.” She tells us.

“As long as it isn’t the first two weeks, that’s the busiest time for me. We could all play tourist together.” Justin tells her.

“I wanted to see what you do. I always thought you would lean more towards painting.” Lindsay tells him.

“I still paint, it’s just what I’m doing now was something I was interested in too.” He tells her.

“I’d love to see your paintings.” Lindsay tells him.

“Wes is sending them, so Brian can show you when they get here.” Justin tells her.

“We’ll get out of your hair. Gus just wanted to see Justin and tell him.” She tells us, helping to clean up.

I handed Justin the food I’d picked up, which had Justin happy. I wanted to ask why he told Lindsay the paintings were still on their way when he had them in my storage room, but waited, because he most likely had a reason for it.

“I wanted you to see them before anyone else did.” Justin tells me, as soon as they left.

“You know you're good, you always have been.” I tell him.

“I’m better, bordering on great. It’s just, I wanted to show you first, not have someone else do it for me.” He tells me.

“I wanted to feed you, but apparently someone else did.” I tell him.

“Lindsay brings what I call snacks.” He tells me, grabbing a fork.

I went to the storage closet and looked through the canvases, seeing the changes to his style. Justin came in as I looked through them, most were abstracts that were gallery quality, then there were a couple where the subject matter seem to be me.

“You were always my favorite.” He tells me.

“I could use you to teach my artists. There are days I question how they got through art school.” I tell him.

“They probably question why you think you know anything about real art.” He tells me.

“Twat.”

JUSTIN

Brian handed me a pile of paperwork, saying it was just things we needed to tie up.

“When you get back, this is our home, and the deed should reflect that.” He tells me.

“It makes sense, and I'd be happy to share a deed with you.” I tell him.

“And?” He asks.

“We should also set up a joint account for paying the bills. If we do this, I help pay for things. Which also includes paying you back for the part of the loan I did use for college.” I tell him.

“You know I never cared about it. I wanted it so you could go to college.” He tells me.

“Which I appreciated, but also wanted to be able to do it on my own.” I tell him.

“If you want to pay it back, put it in the account I had Ted set up for my personal bills. We can add your name to it.” He tells me, shrugging.

“I also want to help with the renovations for the loft. If we're doing this together we share the costs.” I tell him.

“Ted suggested giving you an office at Kinnetik. You can work from there, since we most likely have everything you could use.” He tells me.

“I really don't need one, my jobs are done at the sets.” I tell him.

“What do you do if your not making a movie?” He asks.

“Having a job was dependent on if a movie was being made. I saved the money I was making. In between jobs, I worked in Wes’s clubs, bartending for my daily expenses.” I tell him.

“Then work at Kinnetik between your jobs.” He tells me.

“Which wouldn't require me to have an office. I'm sure there are desks in your art department.” I tell him.

“I'm sure there are, but the last thing I need is the art department thinking I'm not a complete asshole. It keeps them from showing up with boards Gus could draw better.” He tells me.

“You’re full of shit, you wouldn't have kept anyone if they weren’t the best at what they do.” I tell him.

“You’re one of the best artists I know, so why would you think I'd pass up the opportunity to have you at Kinnetik?” He asks me.

“I have no problem with working for you, but setting me up in an office would only make sense to me if all your artists have their own offices. Otherwise they would see me as getting things they haven't, when I just started. It would also cause problems when they have to work with me. I don't want to start out with the people who've been there worrying that I'm there to spy on them.” I tell him.

“You sitting at a desk in the art department isn't going to change their minds.” He tells me.

“I think we should keep our relationship out of the office. If people figure it out then hopefully it will be after working with me and seeing that you don’t treat me differently because we’re together.” I tell him.

“You really think they aren’t going to figure out we're together? The art department gossips like Emmett. You've been to Kinnetik, and trust me, they are probably trying to find out who you are, since you were there with me and Ted.” He tells me.

I started flipping through the paperwork, not having an argument for that. “What's this?” I ask, sliding it to him.

“My POA, it didn’t make sense to keep Michael if we're together. If something happens, then you won’t be told you’re shut out, they way they did with Mel.” He tells me.

“I should do the same, not that my mom would do that to you again.” He tells me.

“We should have her over one night.” He tells me.

“For dinner?” I ask.

“It would give her and I a chance to know each other. After you left, we didn’t stay in touch. I want her to feel welcome in our lives. When you and I decide to have kids, she's going to want to be involved in our lives.” He tells me.

“We can do that when we get back. I haven't spent much time with her, or Deb. It might be nice to have them both over. Are you considering donating to Mel and Lindsay again?” I ask.

“Not now. When they first brought it up, I thought about it, but if we have kids, we'd have to divide our time with Gus already.” He tells me.

“I want to adopt.” I tell him.

“Why?” He asks.

“We aren’t going to have a child that's biology ours, and like with Gus, I don't care if they’re biologically mine. If you want us to have one the way you had Gus, then we can, it's just either way it doesn't change that they'll be ours.” I tell him.

“We can decide it when we're ready.” He tells me.

“Why not make the decision now?” I ask.

“I like the idea of seeing you in one of our children.” He tells me.

“I just don’t want to have a child with someone we know. Watching what you went through isn’t something I want us to have to go through.” I tell him.

“There are other ways, and we'll look into them, along with adoption.” He tells me.

“We don’t have to do anything right now, it's something I eventually want.” I tell him.

“It's something we should do sooner.” He tells me.

“Brian, I'm here and not going anywhere. We have time to get used to us before we start adding a family.” I tell him.

Brian nodded, but seemed like something was bothering him. “What's really bothering you about this?” I ask.

“It's knowing what I want. I've never been patient when it comes to getting what I want.” He tells me.

“I told you what I wanted, tell me what you want.” I tell him.

“I did, but maybe you were distracted.” He smirks.

“Partners in everything?” I ask.

“I picked Vermont for more than just a missed vacation.” He tells me.

JUSTIN

Instead of flying to Vermont, he wanted us to drive. Which gave me time to talk to him about some of the things Emmett and I had been talking about.

“I don’t get why you think the things you were doing should have had me leaving you. I agreed to an open relationship and didn’t feel slighted by the tricking when we both agreed to it. I'm not saying I wouldn’t have wanted it just to be us, but I agreed to the relationship you offered.” I tell him.

“Yet it became the reason you left.” He tells me.

“I told you why I left.” I tell him.

“In the time you were gone, I thought a lot about what it would have been like if our situations were reversed. Would I have been happy to be with you if you were offering me what I was offering you? The truth is, no. I wouldn’t have stayed with someone who kept telling me we weren’t together or wouldn’t admit that I was more than a guy who shared his bed. Having my best friend whispering in your ear constantly that I'd never change for you and that you needed to accept that what we had was the best you were going to get from me… it couldn't have made seeing me trick on a night that should have been about you, as a reason to stay.” He tells me.

“I left because you never had a choice when it came to me. I felt like you were having to compromise your life, your beliefs, in order to accommodate mine. When I left, it was so I could grow up and learn how to take care of myself, not have you and my mother do it.” I tell him.

“If I hadn’t wanted you around, you wouldn't have been. I made the choice to keep you around, when I could have walked away anytime. You got things from me that no one did, not even Michael.” He tells me.

“Being away gave me a chance to figure things out.” I tell him.

“Then why did you think I wanted Michael?” He asks.

“Because Michael was the one person you told everything to; he treats you like shit and ten minutes later everything is forgiven. All I could think was that you really loved Michael, letting him get away with the way he treated you sometimes.” I tell him.

“Then explain to me why you tell everyone that you don’t care what Michael said about you? You basically let him off. Don’t give me the ‘life lesson’ Justin answer you give everyone else, I won’t buy it.” He tells me.

“It would have upset Deb, and I didn’t want to spend my life letting anything he said affect my life. He isn’t important enough for me to let what he said matter to me.” I tell him.

“But Deb is really why you’ve kept your silence, you don’t want to hurt her.” He tells me.

“And it’s also why you let Michael get away with everything.” I tell him.

“She can be a pain in the ass, but she loves us. There is something I want to ask you. Why, after telling me you wanted our door closed, were you saying I could trick?” He asks me.

“Monogamy is what I want. When I told you, you didn’t say it was what you wanted.” I tell him.

“Everything means EVERYTHING.” He tells me.

TED

Blake and I spent the day doing normal things that we hadn’t done in the past. We wandered around shops, grabbed groceries, and tonight he wanted us to cook dinner together. He’d really cleaned up his life and was sad to hear that I went down that road later. But said he was happy I had real friends to help me get my life back together.  

“At the time, Justin and I weren’t more than acquaintances. Emmett had a hard time with my friendship with Justin at first.” I tell him.

“Why? You and Emmett still are as close as you were when I knew you before.” He tells me.

“I never once mentioned Justin in the six years after Justin and I became friends. In fact, the only reason Emmett found out was because he answered my phone.” I tell him.

“Is there a reason you hid that you and Justin were friends? I mean I know Michael didn’t really like Justin, or really me either, but that couldn’t be it, because you didn’t hide that we were together when all your friends didn’t like it.” He tells me.

“Justin asked me not to tell anyone where he was. I respected his wishes, liking that we were friends, even though we weren’t when he lived here.” I tell him.

“Why weren’t you, I mean he was around you and your friends all the time.” He asks.

“Brian monopolized Justin’s time, and I never thought Justin and I had anything in common. We never really talked to each other, except when he was leaving. Justin showed up at my door and asked me to make sure no one blamed Brian for him leaving. It's just, Brian blames himself too.” I tell him.

“It's most likely somewhere in the middle. They both did things and hid things, which is where all relationships get in trouble.” He tells me.

“Is that why you left rehab?” I ask.

“No. It was because as much as I was starting to love you, I loved crystal more. I wasn’t ready when I agreed, and left because I didn’t want to believe I had a problem. It was months later when I finally couldn’t hide it from myself anymore. I didn’t want to be another dead hustler who overdosed.” He tells me.

“For me, it was realizing what I did to my two best friends, who had given me their trust. There were days that if I could have I would have walked out, and continued to screw up my life.” I tell him.

“What stopped you?” He asks.

“A persistent twink and his cousin, and the opportunity to redeem myself, and feel like I was worth everything they were doing to help me. Wes didn’t even know me, but stood by Justin’s belief I was a good person. I came back here after cleaning my ass up and found out my best friends were still my best friends, even after everything I did. It made it easy for me to want to stay clean.” I tell him.

“Why didn’t you try to get back with Emmett?” He asks.

“We made a mistake, thinking that loving friends could be more. It's something watching Michael and Brian cleared up in my head. I love Emmett, but I wasn’t in love with him, any more than he was in love with me. We were trying to force a relationship, when we were never meant to be more than friends. Wes even said it, that I talked differently about you than about Emmett, which showed that what I feel for you wasn’t what I felt for Emmett.” I tell him.

“What was different?” He asks.

“I wanted you from the first night.” I tell him.

DEB

There's just a sense of absurdity to Michael. Something that even as his mother, who can be blind to Michael causing his own problems, even I couldn't overlook. Carl kept his laughter contained through dinner, but barely. Emmett and Drew were just being entertained, since like Emmett and I discussed, Michael didn’t see the correlation.

“You won't believe how Jeff makes it sound like no one wants me around. He's always making comments about me not knowing when I'm not wanted. Then seems to announce how he's Byron’s best friend, and I'm just the trick who wouldn't leave.” Michael complains.

“It's must be hard to have that thrown in your face. I mean to have to constantly hear that he knows Byron better than anyone, that must suck for you.” I tell him.

“Jeff is always talking about how nothing comes between him and Byron. Which is bullshit, because I'm the one who goes home with Byron. Then, like Jeff thinks it's his job to get rid of me, like I wasn't invited by Byron to be there.” He tells us.

“Jeff seems to think he owns Byron.” I tell him, rolling my eyes at my idiot son.

“And making Byron treat me like crap, because of Jeff. I told Jeff it was obvious that Byron never wanted him. I mean, if he did then why isn't Byron taking HIM home?” Michael tells us.

“And still tricking with other people, are you sure Jeff isn’t right, that maybe you're just the guy Byron tricks the most with?” Emmett asks.

“He wants me, he just gets off on making me think he doesn't.” Michael protests.

“Normally it would just tell you he really doesn’t.” Drew adds.

“He let's me spend the night, which he doesn't with the other guys. I'm just tired of him needing other people.” Michael tells us.

“Already… I mean you've only just started seeing him.” Emmett tells him.

“But I shouldn't have to feel like I'm not enough for him, which Jeff tells me all the time.” He tells us.

“I can’t imagine what it must be like to have someone constantly butting in and acting like the authority on all things Brian.” Emmett tells him.

“Byron, not Brian.” Michael tells Emmett, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry. It's just, well it reminds me of what you did to Justin. Well, Drew and I wanted to go dancing, so, later.” Emmett tells us, yanking Drew out of his seat and out the door before the confusion lifted in Michael’s eyes.

“Telling Justin what Brian wanted me to tell him was different.” Michael tells us.

“I'm sure it is to you. I'm off to work, it's been educational.” Carl tells me, kissing me and trying not to laugh.

“Well Michael, you're right, it is different, Brian loved Sunshine. I just can't say the same for you and Byron.” I tell him.

“Brian doesn’t love anyone.” He tells me.

“As his best friend, you would know.” I tell him.

“It still doesn't make what Jeff is doing right.” He tells me, and really, it wasn't a surprise that he didn’t get it.

BRIAN

I fell back in bed, with Justin landing on top of me. We were both out of breath, Justin barely let us get to our room before tearing off our clothes after the ceremony. At first he questioned why get married when Pittsburgh wouldn’t recognize it. I told him we were doing it for us and no one else. As far as Pittsburgh was concerned we were bound through paperwork, and I wanted us to be able to remember that we were more than slashing our names across documents.

It wasn’t a lavish ceremony, just us, the Justice of the Peace, and two people to witness the marriage. For us, it was what we wanted. He remembered Lindsay and Mel’s wedding and told me he didn’t need the headache. We said I do and got the license. Then spent the next few hours trying to out do the number of times we had sex in one day in the past.

The room looked like a hurricane hit it, since we ended up on the floor, against the wall, in the shower, and on the sink in front of the mirror, before reaching the bed. When we reached the bed, Justin flipped me on my hands and knees and rimmed me until I told him to stop fucking around. His answer to that was thrusting home, to my delight. He didn’t cum until I did, which took longer, due to the last four rounds. But I was still ready when he came, and threw him on his back and tortured him slowly for the next hour.

We were both exhausted by the time the sun rose and slept the morning away before we ended up trying to out do the night before.

Justin’s stomach rumbled and I learned a long time ago to feed it. He wanted to call in an order, but I told him if he wanted to eat, we needed to get out of the room. We were eating in the dining room of the lodge when Ted called.

“Sorry boss, I know you said no interruptions, but I need to know what you want me to do.” Ted tells me.

“It would help if you told me why you called.” I tell him.

“Michael and the best friend ended up fighting at Babylon, inside and out. I got a call from the bartender, Sean, when Michael and Jeff started arguing loudly with each other, saying he thought there might be a problem, and there was. The bouncers separated them and threw them out, thinking it was over. Only then, apparently Byron came out with the trick of the night. Which had Jeff taunting Michael, and Michael and Jeff started up again, then getting in a fight with the trick Byron was going to leave with. The trick is a guy who’s never caused problems before, but he was really defending himself, because Michael and Jeff were fighting with him between them. We have them all separated and would normally leave it in the cops hands. Carl said to tell you if you wanted them all arrested he would do it.” He tells me.

“Send them home and let them know they are no longer members, that includes Michael. If you feel the trick wasn’t really to blame let him know we’re sorry he was subjected to two children fighting in my club and we’ll comp his drinks the next time he comes.” I tell him.

“Will do, just turn off your phone because I’m sure Michael is going to call you, when he can’t find you.” He tells me, hanging up.

“What?” Justin asks.

“Michael apparently couldn’t ignore the best friend the way you did with Michael. They fought in Babylon and then in front of Babylon when they were kicked out.” I tell him.

“I never got Michael, he gets in relationships only to screw up, mostly because he wanted you. With Byron, it's like he’s forgotten he wants you.” Justin tells me.

“You don’t see them as you and me of the past?” I ask.

“Brian, you never did the things Byron does. Michael pays for everything. Byron gets his friend to show up and kick Michael out. And Byron doesn’t seem to care about Michael. There's nothing anyone with half a brain wouldn’t see as not worth the time.” He tells me.

“Michael’s always wanted what he couldn’t have.” I tell him.

“Maybe he thinks because we’re together it's not impossible?” He asks.

“He knew from the beginning, it's why he wanted you gone.” I tell him.

TED

Blake was having a hard time not laughing with Emmett, since Emmett and Drew were at the club when the fight started. Of course Emmett had to tell Blake everything. Carl stood there waiting, because he knew Emmett was dying to tell.

“It was like watching preschoolers fight. They were slapping and kicking each other, and chasing one another around the dance floor. Then it was screaming in high whiny voices when they pulled each other's hair. When they got outside they went at it again, only Michael and Jeff didn’t count on the trick having a black belt. The bruises and black eyes were when trick didn’t take too kindly to Michael pulling his long mane, and Jeff accidentally hitting him instead of Michael.” He tells us.

“How did Byron end up with a broken nose?” I ask.

“Michael got upset when Byron tried to protect Jeff and the trick. Michael managed to figure out slapping got him nowhere, so he punched Bryon. Surprisingly broke his nose, and I say surprisingly because Michael stood there almost dumbfounded that he did it.” Emmett giggles.

“What does Brian want you to do?” Carl asks.

“Send them home, and revoke their memberships.” I tell him.

“Do you want to do the honors? Since they're not going to jail, my guys are going to leave.” Carl tells me.

“Michael isn’t going to take not being allowed to come here well.” Emmett told us.

“He should have thought twice about it before he tore up the bar. Brian has to replace the glasses and liquor he destroyed when he threw his shoe at Jeff. Michael thought Jeff would stand still when he had to sit down to get his shoe off.” Emmett tells us, then burst out laughing.

I left Blake and Emmett as they were still giggling at the whole night. I was relieved that Emmett didn’t have a problem with Blake being back in my life. I worried a little, because Emmett liked Justin, but was jealous that Justin and I were friends, and that he didn’t know about it. I knew he never approved of Blake, but it seemed he was giving Blake a chance this time.                          

The manager had everyone separated because Michael and Jeff were still hissing at each other. I went up to the guy we were calling the trick first. “Mr Kinney wants to apologize for your night and let you know that you’re welcome back and we’ll comp your drinks the next time you come here. Just give your name to the manager and you’re free to stay and enjoy the rest of your night on us.” I tell him.

“Thanks for understanding, I was just defending myself.” He tells me. “Byron, lose my number, I don’t play games.” He tells Byron before leaving.

“He hit me, and your offering him a free night at Babylon?” Michael asks, outraged.

“Only after you and Jeff fought like you own me.” Byron tells him.

“I’m tired of Jeff acting like he owns you.” Michael tells him.

“I’m tired of having to tell you to face the fact that Byron isn’t ever going to want you as more than a bed warmer. He doesn’t even bother with you unless there’s no one else to fuck.” Jeff tells him.

The bouncers had to again stop them from going after each other. Then I watched Byron, and he was practically preening that the two of them were fighting over him. I’d had enough.

“Tonight cost Babylon to lose revenue when we had to close down the club, and will have to replace the things that were broken. Which would normally have both of you in the back of a squad car. Instead, Brian decided to save the police the time and send you home.” I tell them.

“Which is only because my BEST FRIEND cares about me.” Michael tells Jeff.

“Your best friend also told me to revoke each of your memberships. After you leave, you don’t come back here.” I tell him.

“You mean Jeff, not me.” Michael tells me.

“No, I mean all three of you.” I tell them.

“I didn’t do anything.” Byron tells me.

“I want to talk to Brian. Byron and I shouldn’t be kicked out because Jeff acts like jealous boyfriend, which isn’t our fault.” Michael tells me.

“We don’t need to come here. There are better clubs, without having to have Michael showing up like a stalker.” Jeff tells Byron.

“I don’t really care if he revokes their memberships, they caused the problems tonight. I just don’t feel I should be punished because they want me.” Byron tells me.

“I don’t think it matters to Brian what you think, but you can schedule an appointment to talk to him. Until then, out you go.” I tell him.

“You tell Brian I plan to call him, and he needs to remember our friendship.” Michael tells me, following Byron and Jeff out the door.

“He was already warned.” I tell him.

BRIAN

Ted was waiting for me in my office Monday. After his call, my phone was turned off and Justin and I spent the next day snowboarding and the night forgetting there was anyone in the world outside of us. We planned to talk to Gus at dinner with Lindsay and Mel. I wanted to also let the girls know that my answer was no to donating again.

I joined Ted at the couch and picked up the financials he had laid out for me. I waited while he finished talking to Wes, to find out what happened with Michael at Babylon.

“Sorry, I needed to get Wes an estimate on a club he’s been thinking about purchasing.” Ted tells me.

“Anything I need to know about this past weekend?” I ask.

“Byron wants to see you about revoking his membership. He thinks he shouldn’t be held responsible for Michael and Jeff. Michael thinks the minute he can talk to you, you’ll override your decision. The other guy, Jeff, left Babylon, not really saying much after Byron pretty much told Michael and Jeff he really didn’t care what happened to them. Dinner at Deb’s, according to Emmett, was Michael saying Justin probably convinced you to kick him out of Babylon. Because according to Michael, Justin is jealous of him.” He tells me.

“What would Justin have to be jealous of Michael for?” I ask.

“When Michael got to the ‘Justin, the root of evil’ portion of his rant, Deb jumped in and told him that Justin didn’t go to Babylon and cause a fight. She also told Michael he should be thankful that all that happened was being kicked out. She wasn’t happy about Michael embarrassing Carl in front of his officers by acting like a two year old. She’s been cooking up a storm and taking it to the station to apologize for them having to deal with Michael. How was snowboarding?” He asks, changing the subject.

“Justin asked for our first anniversary to go some place warm. Apparently snow isn’t his thing, after years in California.” I tell Ted, as he chokes on his water.

“Did… did you… I think I heard... first anniversary?” He asks.

“That’s usually what it’s called I think, you know, one year after getting married.” I smirk.

“Is it time for me to teach you how to be a housewife?” Ted smirks.

“Why would you think Brian needs to be a housewife?” Michael asks, coming in with Cynthia behind him, waiting to see what I want.

“It’s fine, I need to talk to Michael.” I tell Cynthia.

“She always acts like I’m bothering you.” Michael tells me, as Cynthia leaves.

“What can I do for you?” I ask Michael.

“Why is Ted talking about being a housewife?” Michael asks.

“Why were you fighting in my club?” I ask, not answering.

“It was Jeff who started it, if you’d been home, or at least answering your phone, you would have heard my side of the story.” He tells me.

“I heard it from Ted, who is in charge when I’m not here. I didn’t need to hear your side, because you caused problems in one of my businesses. From what I heard, you think Justin is the reason you were kicked out. He wasn’t even aware of the situation, until after Ted and I finished our conversation. In fact, the only thing Justin cared about this weekend was spending time with me. I made that decision all by my self, because you disrespected my business when you and Jeff fought in it.” I tell him.

“Then ban Jeff, I think it will help me with Byron.” He tells me.

“Why would I care about helping Byron with anything?” I ask.

“You would if it didn’t bother you that Byron wants me.” He tells me.

“If he does, then he can want you from Meathook, or Boytoy. I really couldn’t care less. What pisses me off is that it interrupted my weekend and Ted’s life.” I tell Michael.

“Sorry to interrupt your tricking with Boy Wonder, and Ted once again screwing up his life by seeing Blake. Unlike you two, I would rather be with someone worth my time.” Michael spouts.

I shook my head at Ted when I could tell Ted had a few words to say. “Then be with him anywhere but my club. Just don’t go broke because you have to pay for Byron and his friends everywhere but at Babylon. Which, even if I let you guys back in, which I’m not going to do, you would no longer have a free bar tab.” I tell him.

“Once again, Boy Wonder makes you do things you would never do.” He tells me.

“Michael, the only person making Brian do anything is you. He didn’t have you arrested or ask you to pay for the repairs. See that as generous on his part, because he could have done both.” Ted tells him.

“If he had been at the club instead of with Justin, it wouldn’t have happened. Brian, Jeff is the one who caused all of it.” Michael tells us.

“How would Brian being there have changed anything?” Ted asks, then shakes his head for asking.

“Jeff would have seen what a real best friend does. When Brian had him kicked out for saying shit to me.” Michael tells him, smirking.

“I was hoping that like Justin, you would be an adult, and ignore the bullshit the best friend THINKS he knows about his best friend and what his best friend wanted.” I tell him.

“What does Justin have to do with this?” Michael asks.

“You mean other than dealing with you doing to him the same thing Jeff is doing to you?” Ted asks.

“All I ever told Justin was truth.” He tells us.

“The truth according to Michael Novotny, best friend extraordinaire.” Ted tells him.

“Michael, my decision stands. When you leave, understand it was my decision, and let your boyfriend and his buddy know I don't plan on changing it. Bryon hitting on Justin, tends to make my husband and Emmett do things I don’t like.” I tell him, tired of Justin being blamed and Michael blameless.

“Why the hell would you call him your husband?” Michael asks.

“I figured I try it out, since I married Justin.” I tell him.

Michael waited, as if it was some joke, but when Ted nodded to confirm it, he left my office without another word.

“Wes wanted to know if you were interested in promoting the club he's planning to buy?” Ted asks, getting back to business.

JUSTIN

Brian and I were going over to the girls house to see Gus and tell him ourselves. Apparently Brian told Michael, and of course that had him running to everyone. Lindsay called, asking Brian if what Michael said was true. Then telling us we needed to tell Gus before he found out from someone else.

Lindsay answered the door, hugging both of us. “Congratulations.” She tells us.

“Yeah, but really could you have warned me? I almost had a heart attack when Michael stormed in and announced it to the entire diner.” Mel tells us.

“I don’t know, it was sort of fun when he didn’t get the reaction he wanted from Deb and Emmett.” Lindsay giggles.

“How about Michael asking me if I was thinking of Gus, and what would happen if Brian was crazy and didn’t make sure Justin signed a prenup? He didn’t like when I told him Gus wasn’t worried about his inheritance.” Mel tells us.

“How about we talk after Gus is told?” Brian asks.

Lindsay called Gus to come down to the living room and asked us if we wanted her and Mel there or to talk to Gus alone.

“I think he should see us together supporting each other.” Mel tells us.

“Justin, did you have fun with Dad?” Gus asks, smiling.

“We did and we wanted to tell you about what we did.” Justin tells him.

We sat down with Gus sitting on Brian's lap. “Sonny Boy, Justin and I decided that we want to spend our life together. In order to do that we wanted to show we were committed to each other.” Brian tells him.

“How?” He asks.

“We went to Vermont and got married.” He tells Gus.

“Mommy and Mama did that too. Why didn't you have a wedding like theirs?” He asks.

“One day we will if Pennsylvania let's us, but it was because Justin and I wanted more than we could have here.” Brian tells him.

“You didn’t want everyone to see you marry Justin?” He asks.

“Justin and I wanted to get married the way we wanted to. With Justin having to leave for work soon we didn't have time to plan the kind of wedding your moms had. We were planning to tell you first.” Brian tells him.

“Okay.” Gus shrugged.

“Are we okay?” Brian asks.

“Yep, cause Justin’s ours right?” He asks.

“Gus, I've always been yours.” I tell him.

We ate dinner and Gus told us his teacher thought Gus could do a show and tell at school about his trip. Brian took Gus to bed and I waited with Lindsay and Mel for him to come back. Brian came back after Gus fell asleep, and Lindsay asked if she could say something first.

“We were surprised, but very happy for you. I wanted you to hear it from us. I'm sure Michael will be busy trying to convince Brian he's making a mistake, so from us, know we're happy about this.” Lindsay tells us.

“Thanks.” I tell her.

“There's one other thing I need to tell you both. I'm not planning to say yes to you about the baby you want.” Brian tells them.

“Can we ask why?” Lindsay asks.

“If I have any more children it will be with Justin. Neither of us want a child we have to share other than Gus.” Brian tells her.

“We understand, since there were problems in the beginning with Gus. I feel the same way, I want a child with Lindsay that in essence is ours and no one else's. Gus gets to be lucky enough to have all four of us.” Mel tells him.

“Just know that if you need us for anything, we'd be happy to help when you decide to have a baby.” Lindsay tells us.

“Only promise me one thing. When you two do have kids, I get to tell Michael.” Mel tells us, laughing.

JUSTIN

I ran out of Woody’s when Daphne called, wanting to tell her everything. One thing that never changed about Daphne was her unwavering support in my life. She didn't always agree with me, but was there for me even when I behaved like an ass. I got outside and she was standing at the bottom of the steps smiling up at me.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming.” I tell her, wrapping my arms around her.

“Brian thought you might want to tell me something.” She tells me.

“I don’t even know where to start. I came back, it was just wanting to know if he was happy and getting all the things he wanted. I didn’t expect us to get back together, just hopefully become friends.” I tell her.

“What do you think now?” She asks.

“There were a lot of things Brian and I could be, but just friends, well that isn’t possible.” I tell her.

“He loved you then, even if he didn’t admit it. Even though I didn’t agree with you taking off the way you did, I think you both needed time to figure out what you wanted.” She tells me.

“We both want the same things. Everything.” I tell her.

BRIAN

Justin and I were playing pool at Woody’s with Emmett and Drew. Ted was picking up a surprise for Justin. Wes got Daphne to agree to come this weekend for the party that Deb and Jen were arranging for Justin and me. I wanted the this party to include people in Justin’s life, not just mine.

Ted let me know they were outside and Daphne called like I asked her to. Justin was beaming when he saw whose name was on the caller ID, but I made sure the bar got louder so he would have to go outside to hear her. He walked right past Wes without seeing him, trying to get outside to talk to Daphne. It only took a couple seconds until we heard them, and left them to talk while Wes was introduced to Drew and Blake.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ted talks about you all the time.” Blake tells him.

“Emmett talks about so many people and your name came up once, or a couple hundred of times.” Drew jokes.

“How about I buy us a round and we can all get to know each other. I feel like I know almost everyone from listening to Justin and Ted talk about all of you. I’m sure Justin will figure out I’m here sooner or later.” Wes laughs.

We were all talking when Justin and Daphne came in and she wrapped her arms around me.

“If only he had listened to me, you two would be celebrating years.” She tells me.

“He did what he thought he needed. When he was ready, he came home. That’s all that matters to me.” I tell her.

Justin came over and pulled her off me, kissing me. Emmett laughed, telling everyone how I once did the same thing to Emmett, when he did the same thing to Justin outside Babylon. Justin suggested we go to the diner, since the bar was getting crowded and because he promised Deb to bring Wes to meet her.

Deb was standing at the counter talking to Michael when we came in and waved us to a booth. He turned and looked at all of us as if we had done something wrong. Justin, Daphne, and Wes passed him, not even noticing he was there. He followed everyone and tried to get me to sit next to him when I went to sit with Justin. He grabbed a chair and sat at the end of the booth, when no one would make room for him.

“I need to talk to you, Byron isn’t happy that you won’t see him.” He tells me.

“I don’t plan on changing my mind, so it’s pointless to talk to him.” I tell him.

“He didn’t fight in the club, it was Jeff acting like a jealous boyfriend.” Michael tells me.

“Wait, sorry, but are you actually chasing someone other than Brian?” Daphne asks, looking confused.

“I never chased Brian, that would be your best friend.” Michael tells her.

“And caught him.” Daphne whispers to me.

“Think whatever makes you happy, the rest of us know better.” Ted tells Michael, before he could say anything to Daphne.

“Who are you?” Michael asks Wes.

“Justin’s cousin, not his sugar daddy. Wasn’t that what you implied about me?” Wes asks.

“Speaking of, I hoped you made sure you protected yourself.” Michael tells me, ignoring Wes.

“I always use protection.” I tell Michael, not willing to let him imply anything about why Justin married me.

“Don’t go there, it’s not your business.” Ted tells Michael.

“Since Justin’s been back, apparently nothing is mine anymore.” Michael gets up, walking out.

“Give me a minute.” Wes tells us, getting up and following Michael.

“Wes, he won’t listen.” Ted tells him.

WES

Michael only walked to the side of the building, stopping as if waiting for someone to come after him. I only followed Michael because I was sure he expected Brian to do it. After Ted told me about Michael running all over town acting like an ass about Brian marrying Justin, I thought maybe it was time for someone Michael couldn’t fool to talk to him. I looked at him standing there with his arms crossed, glaring at the road the way a child does when they're angry, not getting why anyone puts up with him.

“Sorry for disappointing you, but I wanted to give Brian a break from solving your problems for you.” I tell him.

“I’m sure that’s what Justin told you, that I was a problem because I didn’t think Brian should put up with what Justin did to him.” He tells me.

“He didn’t blame you for telling Brian what he did. He knew if it was Daphne he would have told her. Can I ask you something?” I ask.

“What?” He asked.

“What did Justin ever do to you that would lead you to constantly blame him for your failures? He gave you the comic, not making you buy him out, and left in a way that gave you back everything you complained to Ted about him taking from you. What did he need to do that would have gotten you to stop blaming him for daring to breathe in your presence?” I ask.

“He could have just stayed away, but no, he shows up and everyone forgives him, because he's Justin.” He tells me.

“But it's okay when they do the same for you? I have to tell you, when Ted told Justin what you said, you almost met me sooner and in a whole lot nastier way. Justin stopped me from coming because he didn't want your mother to ever hear what you said. He protected your ass, while you blame him for everything you never accomplished. Him not meeting Brian wouldn’t have changed that Brian didn't want more from you.” I tell him.

“No one wants more from me.” He pouts.

“You have to give someone a reason to think you're worth their time. It's hard to want someone when all you see and hear is a child, every time they open their mouth. I hate giving advice, but instead of letting the guy off when he does something you don't like, make him work for you.” I tell him.

“Is that what you do?” He asks.

“No, I don't play the game. If you want me, you show me, before you misinterpret that I'm not interested in you.” I tell him, when he stared at me.

JUSTIN

Ted invited Daphne and Wes to stay at his place. Brian told me to go ahead and hang out with Daphne, while he took care of some work he needed to finish. I left when they wanted to sleep, calling Brian to let him know I was on my way.

I opened the loft door and decided Brian was a closet romantic. He had the lights dimmed and jazz playing in the background. He’d moved all the furniture out of the way and was standing there with his hand out for me. I walked over to him and took his hand as he pulled me to him. The music changed to the song we danced to at prom.

“You might not remember, but I can show you.” Brian tells me, moving us around the room.

“We’ve done this before, I remember.” I tell him.

“I want you to remember how it ended before you walked off.” He tells me, dipping me and making me laugh.

When the music ended, he kissed me. “It’s ridiculously romantic.” He tells me, sparking something with the look in his eyes.

“I love you.” I tell him, understanding what he was trying to give me back.

“Even when I didn’t know it, I loved you too.” He tells me.

“Why did you do this? I mean, I love it, but why?” I ask.

“So you will know where you stood in my life, even then.” He tells me.

BRIAN

Deb invited practically half of Liberty Avenue to the party for Justin and me. Justin’s mom sat in the corner of the backyard talking to Ted, Wes, and Daphne. It was hard to see that she and Ted were close to each other, and not feel a little jealous of him. She and I had our moments, but in the end we both only wanted Justin to be happy. I respected her for facing me when she knew Justin needed help that she couldn't give him. I left her alone because with Justin gone, I figured she wanted to be away from everything that reminded her of the reason he left.

“Jen didn’t understand you and Justin. All she saw was her son leaving her behind.” Deb tells me.

“She saw that I wasn’t giving him what he wanted.” I tell her.

“She also saw that when nothing helped Justin, you didn’t turn her away. She can’t get to know you if you keep this distance from her. Do her a favor and show her the Brian I know and love.” She tells me, kissing my cheek.

I rolled my eyes when Emmett came over, likely trying to give me pep talk, ordered by Deb. Justin was busy with Gus, feeding his face, it figured they bonded over food.

“So, Deb said we needed to help get you and Jen to talk to each other. It must suck to have to see Ted has a relationship with your mother-in-law. Okay, so that isn’t helping. You know I was jealous of Justin’s relationship with Ted, but then I realized that Carl was right; that every relationship is different and it doesn’t make Jen and Ted hanging out and going on lunch dates… What I’m trying to say is that if you want to get to know her, standing here watching her and Ted talk isn’t going to change anything.” He tells me, grimacing at his non pep speech.

An hour later I was sitting with Gus and Mel, talking about them meeting me in California before we went to see Justin, when Jen made the first move.

“Can we talk?” She asks.

We walked into the house and Deb pushed everyone out to the backyard, to give us some privacy. For the first time in my life, I didn’t know what to say to someone.

“I wanted to tell you I’m happy for both of you. The last time we talked, you might have believed I was happy with Justin leaving you. I honestly thought Justin needed time to grow up and figure out what he wanted in life. I also know I asked you to leave him alone, then turned around and expected you to help me after I pushed you out of his life. I want you to know I respected you for not turning me away, when I was blaming you for what happened to Justin.” She tells me.

“You weren’t the only one who blamed me, it’s hard not to go back to that night and not try to figure out a way that Justin would have been safe.” I tell her, looking out the window in the kitchen at Justin sitting with Lindsay.

“Brian, it would have happened even if you weren’t there, Chris wanted to hurt Justin. If I had made a bigger fuss at the school about what was happening to Justin, maybe it would have changed what happened, but at the time I was too focused on other things. You know you have a champion in Ted, don’t you. He and I talked a lot while Justin was gone, and he made me see that blaming you for Justin getting hurt, meant not acknowledging that you saved my son that night. I want you to think about that night, and tell me what would have happened if you hadn’t been there. There was only you, Justin, and Chris in that garage, because everyone else was at the prom. Justin could have laid there for hours before anyone would have found him. I didn’t lose my son, and it was because you were there. I gained a new son, so all I see is the man I love for loving Justin” She tells me, hugging me.

“Thank you for being a mother I could respect, and the grandmother I want for my children.” I whisper to her.

“Thank you for letting him go, when he needed to grow. He spent a lot of time away trying to figure out everything, but always told me he still loved you. I plan on being a pain in the ass when you and Justin give me more grandchildren, and it’s time for me to get to know the one you already gave me.” She tells me, kissing my cheek.

I went out front to get away from everyone, because I needed a minute to get myself together. When Justin came back, there was a part of me that wanted to push him away, because he is the only person who could shatter me. Deb said it, he got in even when I didn’t want him to, and stayed no matter how many miles he put between us.

“Am I interrupting?” Ted asked, sitting down next to me.

“I think I’m pepped talked out.” I tell him.

“Like you need me to tell you anything. It’s the one thing about you that I envied, you didn’t need advice to know what you needed to do.” He tells me.

“Do you know how many times I wanted to find him, but didn’t?” I ask him.

“Probably as many times as Justin wanted to come home.” He tells me.

“He didn’t even want to talk about me.” I tell him, wishing I’d kept my mouth shut.

“He didn’t talk about anyone here. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to know, but likely that it would hurt him less if he found out you were with someone else. If we talked about Emmett it would have led to you. It was the same reason he never asked about Deb or Michael, because it leads back to you. It’s something he only talked to Wes about, because Wes didn’t know any of you. One thing he always admitted though, was that what he felt for you didn’t go away. He didn’t want it to. You were it for him.” Ted tells me.

“Are we done?” I ask.

Ted laughed and got up to go back in, I should have gone with him. I could have avoided Michael and Byron. I looked at the two of them, trying to figure out why Michael was still letting the guy fuck with his head. Justin was right, this was not us of the past. Justin and I might have had our problems, but he was never the back-up plan if I didn’t score.

“I’ll go in while you talk to Brian.” Michael tells him, leaning up to kiss him, only to have Byron turn his head. Michael frowned, but then acted like the guy didn’t just rebuff him. “Brian, at least hear him out, it could help me.” Michael whispered in my ear before going in.

“Just so you know, nothing you say is going to change my mind.” I tell him, leaning back on the steps watching him look me up and down.

“I thought maybe you and I could talk privately, it’s fine if you want to include Justin.” He tells me, licking his lips.

“There was a time when Justin and I would have been all for that, but you wouldn’t have been on the menu. We both have more refined taste in men.” I tell him, smirking when he lost the bravado. “Why are you fucking with Michael’s head?” I ask.

“He’s the one who keeps coming back for more, so I let him.” He tells me.

“See, you don’t know Mikey like I do, he equates sex with love. It’s something I never managed to get him to see, that sometimes it’s just fucking. I’m sure he told you about my past, but he got one thing wrong.” I tell him.

“That you were never going to love him the way he wants.” He tells me.

“He knew it, just didn’t want to believe it. What he got wrong was that when I tricked, it didn’t mean anything to me. Michael believes that it showed that nothing changed in my life, even when Justin entered it. He doesn’t see the difference between you and me, because he thinks you love him because you still take him home some nights.” I tell him.

“Like you took Justin home some nights.” He smirked.

“Justin didn’t need me to take him home, since he knew where he lived. We might not have been living together the whole time, but he knew if given the choice, the trick was out.” I tell him.

“Good God, you actually fell in love. How very ordinary of you.” He tells me.

“I’m sure you think that, but then you don’t get it yet. What Justin gives me makes everything else look shallow in comparison. I thinks it’s extraordinary that he loves me, and has since I found him standing under a streetlight. As for Michael, keep fucking with his head and you’ll be dealing with Mama Bear. She might be sitting on the sidelines now, but eventually she’ll slap some sense into his head.” I tell him.

“You mean I’m not going to have you at my throat for hurting your precious Mikey?” He says rolling his eyes.

“In the past, yeah I would have, but after watching Justin handle his own problems, I see where Mikey needs to face up to his own. So have fun when Deb gets involved, because she isn’t someone even I’m willing to take on. One last thing, my answer is still no to you getting back in Babylon, because for Justin, you will have me at your throat. Not because he wants anything to do with you, but because he thinks you’re a sorry piece of shit. It says a lot that he could feel sorry for Michael because of you, since he doesn’t like Michael either.” I tell him, getting up and leaving him on the sidewalk.

CARL

Deb shook her head when Michael walked in the house, I kissed her, telling her to go outside. She’d been good about staying out of Michael’s mess and I wanted to keep it that way. He tried to pass me to go outside, but I stopped him because he had the look he gets when he’s going to cause trouble.

“I just wanted to tell Justin how happy I am for him.” He tells me, sarcastically.

“I don’t think he cares what you think, I know I wouldn’t if you’d said the shit you did about him, about me. Justin didn’t do anything to you for you to say Brian should have left him that night.” I tell him.

“I didn’t mean he should have died. I was just angry at everyone still acting like he didn’t shit on all of us.” He tells me, as we hear a gasp behind us.

I stopped Deb when she tried to reach Michael. I could see the hurt in her eyes. “Justin didn’t want you to know.” I tell her.

“Why would you say that?” Deb asks Michael, with tears in her eyes.

“He fucking cheated on Brian and all of you acted like Brian was at fault. I was angry for my best friend.” He tells her.

“What happened between Justin and I didn’t have anything to do with you. Like I told you, cheating is more than sex.” Brian tells him, coming into the house.

“He’s right, what you did to Ben wasn’t fair to him.” Deb tells him, walking out of the house.

We watched as Deb went to Justin and hugged him, whispering to him. Justin said something to her and held on to her as she listened to him. We might not have heard what he was saying but it was obvious he was calming her down. I really wanted to let her go at Michael, but in the end it was something Justin didn’t want. Why, was only something Justin knew, and looking at Michael I could tell he still didn’t get what kind of person Justin was, that he didn’t walk in here and beat the shit out of Michael.

“You see what he did for you? He could have let you deal with your shit, but he doesn’t want you and Deb to face the shit he did when he lost his family. He was here helping Deb and Vic when you asked. He was there when Deb needed someone because you embarrassed her. Yet you act like nothing he did was enough for you. You need to understand that Justin didn’t take anything from you that you belonged to you. I wasn’t going to one day see you as more than my best friend, and I want that to be enough for you.” Brian tells him, going outside.

“He’s willing to throw away years of friendship for Justin.” Michael tells me.

“You weren’t hearing him. He was telling you what you can have with him, which is friendship. He loves Justin and won’t let a best friend eclipse what Justin is to him.” I tell him.

“Why does Justin get what he wants, when I can’t?” He asks me.

“You really want that guy Byron?” I ask, because I couldn’t see any reason why.

“I don’t know, at first I thought it would help me figure out why Justin stuck around no matter what Brian did.” He tells me.

“What do you think now?” Justin asks, coming in.

I walked out because this was something the two of them needed to do. One thing about Justin I liked was that even though he didn’t like Michael, he didn’t like seeing anyone hurt either.

JUSTIN

Deb came up and swallowed me in a hug, in tears. I didn’t want her to ever know what Michael said, because I knew it would hurt her.

“Why didn’t you tell me what he said?” She whispers.

“It wasn’t something I wanted repeated, and I didn’t want you upset when it wasn’t something that surprised me.” I tell her.

“What made him even say it?” She asks.

“It was right after I left. I don’t really know what made him say it. I left it alone, because truthfully, you and Vic were more important to me. If you want to be angry than I can’t stop you, but we’re celebrating the future, not the past, be angry later.” I tell her, hugging her.

“It would have broken Vic’s heart if he heard it. He loved you and never doubted that you still loved us.” She tells me.

“You’re the mother of my heart, just be happy today.” I whisper to her.

Deb nodded, understanding that I didn’t want today to be about anything but Brian and me. Brian came out and told Deb they needed a drink, since he had to deal with Byron today. I told him I needed to use the bathroom, but he could tell it wasn’t why I was going inside. He kissed me, then took Deb, trusting me to do what I needed to do. Carl was asking Michael about Byron and Michael’s answer wasn’t what I expected. I guess I expected him to declare his love or something like that, instead it was like he was still trying to figure out how Brian and I worked.

“I get why you left.” He tells me.

“I didn’t leave because he was tricking. It was something we agreed to, whether you believe it or not.” I tell him.

“You left with Ethan when you saw him fucking Rage.” He argues.

“I left because it was time to end it with Ethan. I couldn’t love Ethan the way he deserved, because I loved Brian more than anything in my life. I left because I didn’t like who I was anymore. I needed to know if I could take care of myself, which even you know, Brian tends to think he needs to do for us.” I tell him.

“What was it like when you left?” He asked, really wanting to know.

“At first it was hard, I missed Brian and Gus, but knew I needed time to figure out what I wanted. I kept feeling like everyone expected me to do what they wanted, and that what I wanted didn’t matter anymore.” I tell him.

“You felt like that with Brian?” He asks.

“No, in Brian’s case, it was different. He wanted me to have all the things I wanted. He didn’t push me to leave him, but I think he was willing to let me go if it’s what would make me happy. You need to see that Byron doesn’t do that for you.” I tell him.

“Why do you care? I would think that you would be happy to see me miserable.” He tells me.

“Michael, we will never be friends. It’s just not in me to forgive you. I wish I could for Brian’s sake, but other than Rage, you and I had nothing in common. I care because even when you disappoint Brian, he still sees the friend who was there when he needed him. What Byron is doing to you is miles apart from what Brian and I were doing. You’ve always hated sharing anything, so why are you sharing?” I ask.

“It was nice to feel wanted.” He tells me.

“How do you see wanted, when he skips out on you, and got pissed because he got kicked out of Babylon, but didn’t care what happened to you? If you and I had been fighting, Brian would have stepped in to defuse it, not enjoyed that you and Jeff were jealous of each other.” I tell him.

“Was I like Jeff?” He asks.

“You weren’t a picnic, but I could handle you. I understood your jealousy, because I love Brian too.” I tell him.

“Everyone thinks I’m jealous because Brian loves you, but I’m not, because I know it wasn’t going to be me.” He tells me.

“When did you come to that revelation?” I ask.

“When you came back, for him it was like you never left. It’s like he spent years waiting for you to come back. No one got him to break his one time only rule the entire time you were gone. When I came back, it was like everything moved on and no one noticed that I was gone. With you, it’s like time stood still until you returned.” He tells me.

“Michael, do yourself a favor, figure out what you want and don’t compromise yourself for it.” I tell him.

“Wes sort of told me the same thing. I still don’t get why he bothered with me, since I can tell he doesn’t like me.” He tells me.

“He doesn’t like to see people screw up their lives. He can’t help wanting to help people.” I tell him.

“He sounds like Brian.” He tells me.

“Sometimes he does, but he didn’t have a childhood like Brian’s. His parents weren’t assholes until he wouldn’t live the life they expected him to. I think Wes is what Brian would have been if he hadn’t had the parents he did.” I tell him.

“He’s interesting.” Michael tells me.

“He’s not interested, so don’t try to go down that road with him.” I tell him.

“How do you know?” He asks, crossing his arms.

“Because he never makes it a secret of it when he wants something. Michael, there’s a difference when you really love someone, it makes settling for less seem empty.” I tell him.

“You don’t see us ever being friends?” He asks.

“I can be nice to you, but no I don’t see friends as something I could be with you. I don’t want Brian to have to feel like he has to chose between us, because even after all your crap, he still wants you in his life. I want Brian to have everything he wants, just like he always wanted for me.” I tell him.

“Even if it’s a best friend who doesn’t respect boundaries?” He asks.

“Even if, because I know who he comes home to.” I tell Brian, who was standing in the doorway.

“Twat.” He tells me, and yeah I kissed him, because he’s right, I am a twat, but I’m his.

BRIAN

Watching Justin walk away through the gate wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Only because this time I knew where he was going and that he wasn’t leaving forever. We talked about children last night and after I explained why I wanted him to be the father, he agreed to surrogacy.

“I want to have what you have with Gus, to see you in our child.” I told him.

After hearing that, he agreed to at least one biological child with me. It’s not that I would love a child less if it wasn’t biologically one of ours. I just wanted one of our children to have the eyes that changed my life.

I’m sure Ted would tell you that the first few days he was gone weren’t the easiest days with me. Justin was busy and would call before he fell asleep. It was strange not having him in bed with me and it didn’t make me easy to deal with. Wes showed up when I was yelling at the idiots who couldn’t follow simple instructions.

“Brian, seriously, you lived six years without him. It’s only two weeks.” Wes tells me, handing a tissue to the artist who was standing there in tears. “Sweetheart, go clean up while I handle the scary man.” Wes tells her, pouring on the charm.

I rolled my eyes as she fell under his charm and left. “She’s going to be dreaming of you as her prince.” I tell him.

“Better that than the nightmare of a boss.” He jokes, as I flip him off. “Let’s go get lunch so the rest of your staff doesn’t quit.” He tells me.

We went to the diner and found Michael sitting there by himself. Wes shrugged and sat down.

“No Byron?” He asks.

“He told me he didn’t want to see me anymore. He said he wasn’t into clingy.” Michael tells him.

“He wasn’t the one, Mikey.” I tell him.

“I know. It’s just that everyone has someone except for me. I’m the one who wanted all the things that you used to make fun of, yet you get it.” He tells me.

“You could have what you want, but it would mean not throwing yourself at someone just because they were interested for five minutes. From what Ted told me, in every relationship you have, you seem to become the other person. Which means they don’t get to know you, but the persona you take on for them.” Wes tells him.

“I didn’t do that with Ben.” He tells him.

“He didn’t. But then he didn’t give Ben a reason to stay either. Michael, when I told you cheating was more than sex, it is. Ben felt like he was second in your life and left to find someone who would put him first. He didn’t leave you for any other reason. If you’d put the time into your relationship with Ben that you put in chasing me around, you’d still be with Ben.” I tell him.

“You needed me when Justin took off.” He tells me.

“So did Ben, but I guess Brian was right, that you weren’t as in love with him as you wanted everyone to believe.” Deb tells him.

“Sometimes I felt like a kid around him.” Michael tells us.

“Then he wasn’t right for you. The person who is right for you, doesn’t want to change you.” Wes tells him.

“What about you. Why aren’t you in a relationship if you know so much?” Michael asks.

“Because I won’t settle for ‘right now’. When I find the right person, I’ll do what Brian did and make it work.” Wes tells him.

“Why Justin?” Michael asks me.

“He makes me want things that I never wanted. He’s just the one I fell in love with. It’s not something I can explain to you, he’s just the one for me.” I tell him.

“For once don’t rush into something, make sure when you meet someone that you let them see the real you.” Wes tell him.

“I need to get to the shop.” Michael tells us, leaving.

“I wish he would meet someone.” Deb tells us, walking away.

“Be careful around Mikey, he might start looking at you.” I joke.

“Justin tells me that I have to stop trying to solve everyone’s problems. I hate when people are hurting, and it has to be hard on him to watch you and Justin together. He might be saying all the right things about knowing it wasn’t going to be him with you, but it would still hurt when he sees all of you guys happy and he’s still alone.” Wes tells me.

“If Justin didn’t come back, I’d be in the same boat.” I tell him.

“He really thought maybe you wanted Michael. When he decided to come back, he only planned to give Gus the teddy bear.” He tells me.

“He told me one night when Michael and I were fighting that he wanted someone to love him as much as I loved Michael. It’s just, if I wanted Michael, it shouldn’t have taken fourteen years for me to do anything about it. I gave Justin things I never gave Michael.” Then I asked him, “Why did he want to give Gus his teddy bear?”

.

“It was something Justin wanted to give to his child.” He tells me.

“He made me into the father I became. When Justin left, Gus seemed to know someone was missing. I remember showing up at the girl’s house one day and he was looking around me, like he was looking for Justin. I started showing up more because Gus needed me.” I tell him.

“Justin always thought you’d be a great father. He told me about you signing over your rights and said he’d never seen you that upset.” He tells me.

“It wasn’t the easiest decision, but for Gus, it was what he needed from me.” I tell him.

“Justin leaving you wasn’t the easiest decision for him either, but he thought you needed that from him.” He tells me.

“Why are you telling me this?” I ask.

“Because I don’t get why you're here when you want to be with him. Ted and Cynthia can handle everything, and would probably be thrilled to get you away from the poor artists.” He tells me, smirking.

“He told me that he was working around the clock right now. It’s not like he has time to entertain me.” I tell him.

“Then come with me and we’ll find things to do.” He tells me, laying the tickets on the table. “All you have to do is pack a bag.”

“Gus and the girls were going to meet me in California.” I tell him, trying to figure out why I’m arguing, when all I want is to be with Justin.

“I can fly back and get them. Are we done with any other excuses you have?” He asks.

“I guess it’s better to be there in person for his birthday, which was my plan. He probably thinks I forgot it.” I tell him, smirking.

“You already planned to go?” He asks.

“I wasn’t going to tell him. I wanted to show him that he is important to me.” I tell him.

“I can wait and come after if you want.” He tells me.

“Or you can help me convince the girls that Gus should come now.” I tell him.

“I can do that, apparently people like me.” He jokes.

BRIAN

Wes stayed behind when I left, saying he and Gus could follow after Justin and I had a couple days to ourselves. Wes called Justin’s boss, Allen, so he could arrange for me to surprise Justin. I got off the plane and was met by a driver who let me know he was instructed to take me to the set. 

Justin was talking to a group of people while they were waiting around, as the director was talking to the actors. It was the first time I got to see that Justin had made friends outside of the people we knew. It’s something he mentioned, but other than the occasional text, was still something I hadn’t seen. I wondered if he knew that the guy hanging on every word he said, wanted him. I wanted to tell the kid he was wasting his time, because there was only one man Justin wanted. It didn’t take long for the kid to realize it though when one of the girls pointed at me. Justin turned and ran to me, it felt good to have him where he belongs, in my arms.

“What are you doing here?” He asks.

“Keeping the artist from revolting.” I tell him, kissing him so the kid gets it.

“You want to get some lunch? We were all just about to take a break anyway. Brett is about to blow and we all leave when that’s going to happen.” Justin tell me.

I followed Justin and the others as they went to the lunch truck. We were sitting down when Allen nodded at me. Everyone started singing Happy Birthday to Justin, who turned red when he realized they all knew it was his birthday. The cake was my nightmare, but I shared his with him. 

“You remembered.” He tells me, kissing me.

“I never forgot.” I tell him, pulling out his present.

Justin opened the box, which had a photo of us when we were at the GLC. Daphne got it to me, saying it was one of her favorite pictures. Underneath it was tickets to Ibiza. I wanted to go there with Justin.

“We’ll go after you finish here. We didn’t really have a honeymoon.” I tell him.

WES

I swear this diner should be raking in the bucks with the amount of people that pass through here. When Ted suggests lunch, apparently the only place they go is the diner. Michael was sitting in the booth in the back, so we headed to where he was. Deb came over and dropped off drinks without asking us what we wanted.

“She has the memory of an elephant. We don’t even have to order, unless we want something else.” Ted tells me.

“Fuck.” Michael whispers.

We turned to see what had Michael bothered, when a guy came in, looking directly at Michael. Ted rolled his eyes and told me it was Jeff. I didn’t get why the guy came here, unless it was to fuck with Michael’s head some more. Brian was worried about Michael sticking to his guns where Byron was concerned, but this wasn’t Byron. I told him I’d look out for Michael, since Michael isn’t that great at looking out for himself.

“I can’t figure out why he keeps showing up everywhere I go.” Michael tells us.

“Has he said anything?” Ted asks.

“Not really, but he even came into the shop. It was busy for a change so I was able to ignore him.” Michael tells us.

“Can I talk to you alone?” Jeff asks Michael.

“Why would I want to talk to you?” Michael asks, at least sounding disinterested.

“So I can apologize for acting like an asshole. It wasn’t even really about Byron.” He tells Michael.

“You didn’t like me from the minute he brought me to the table. How can you say it wasn’t about Byron?” Michael asks him.

“I didn’t like you the minute David stopped calling me and brought you around. When you showed up with Byron, I got pissed because once again you were taking someone else in my life.” He tells Michael.

“I didn’t take anyone from you. I can't help that they wanted me.” Michael tells him. 

“It's uncanny.” Ted whispers to me.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, I'm taking the advice of my friends. Byron isn’t worth the bullshit that comes with him.” Michael tells him. Jeff left as if he heard what he needed from Michael. 

“Michael, I'm proud of you.” I tell him. 

“Why?” He and Ted ask, confused.

“Because you didn't say anything to hurt him, when you had the chance.” I tell him. 

“Justin did his best not to hurt me when the situation was reversed.” He tells me. 

I reached over and kissed him, not for any reason but because for once he seem to get what he did. “I'm still not interested.” I tell him. 

“I didn’t say anything.” Michael tells me, smiling like a kid at Christmas.

Ted and I were eating when I saw him. He looked behind him as if he thought I was looking at someone else. Everything about the way he shied away from people looking at him brought out my need to protect him. He ignored me and went to talk to Deb. Deb looked over at me, which meant he was asking, so I gave her my best help me face. She winked then continued to talk to him.

“Any clue who that is?” I ask Ted.

“I don’t really know, just that he shows up sometimes and talks to Deb.” Ted tells me.

“It's Eric.” Michael tells me.

“And?” I ask. 

“What? It's not like I sit around asking Ma about the strays… I mean the kids she knows.” He tells me when I glared at him. Emmett and Drew came in and sat with us.

“What's up?” Emmett asks.

“Do you know who that is?” I ask, tilting my head at Eric.

“Eric.” He says, like that helps.

“Michael knew that much, but is he single, dating, or even gay?” I ask. 

“Wow, you and Justin have the same taste. Weird.” Emmett says, looking over at Eric who smiles when Emmett waves.

“What?” I ask. 

“Justin sort of pulled a Brian on Eric several years ago. He left here crying and Justin felt like shit, but he didn't want to encourage him. He showed up after Justin was gone and Deb could tell he needed someone to talk to, and she made him promise to come by if he needed her. I've talked to him a little and trust me, if you want him, it's not going to be easy. After what happened with Justin, Eric has a hard time letting anyone close to him.” Emmett tells me. 

“To be fair to Justin, the kid misunderstood.” Michael tells us. 

“Did you just defend Justin?” Ted asks.

“Yeah?” Michael says, confused.

“Hey boys, mind if this one sits with you?” Deb asks, practically shoving Eric in my lap.

“Deb, I need… to…” He stutters.

“Honey, you know I'm not happy unless I feed all my boys. So sit down and eat. Wes will make sure you stay until I'm happy.” Deb tells him and me.

“If you want we could sit at another table, instead of you in my lap. Although I don't have a problem with you staying where you are.” I whisper in his ear.

“I really should go.” He tells me, even though he’s not moving.

“Why?” I ask. 

“I'm not into this whole thing.” He tells me. 

“Getting to know me?” I ask. 

“Hooking up. It's not what I want.” He tells me. 

“It's not my thing either, and to be honest, I don't live here. I'm visiting my family right now, but there's something about you that makes me want to at least get to know you.” I tell him. 

“Where do you live?” He asks, as the guys all start moving to another table, dragging Michael with them.

“California.” I tell him. 

“I've always wanted to go there.” He says wistfully. 

“You should, maybe see the sites with someone who knows the area.” I tell him. 

“Maybe I will someday. Look, there's really no point in getting to know me when you don't even live here. Thanks for the interest, but if I get involved with anyone, they at least have to stick around for longer than one night.” He tells me, making me want to wring my cousin's neck.

“He was in love with someone. It wasn’t your fault, what he did to you.” Emmett tells him, from the next booth.

“Now that you know I'm a loser, can I go?” He asks, looking at the table.

“Eat with me. Give me a chance to make up for what my cousin did to you. Emmett’s telling you the truth, for Justin it was only ever going to be Brian. I know Justin would hate it that you were still hurt by him.” I tell him. 

“He told me the truth, but I thought… shit, I thought he had to at least feel something. He was nice until I showed up here.” He tells me. 

“Are you going to spend your life letting one bad experience keep you from possibly finding someone? Trust me, it's not the end of the world. At least give Wes a chance to show you not everyone is going to shit on you.” Michael tells him.

“Guys, I can handle this.” I tell my helpers.

“If you're serious then we can have dinner this weekend.” Eric offers, looking hopeful.

“Shit, I'm going to Australia for a week, but I can come back after if the offer is still open.” I tell him. 

“I guess I'll believe you if you call.” He tells me, writing his number down and running out.

It was a start, and that's all I needed. Michael sat with me after Eric took off.

“What?” I ask. 

“Are you really going to take off to see Justin and Brian when it's obvious you'd rather be here?” He asks. 

“I promised to get Gus there.” I tell him, suddenly thinking I sounded like Brian making an excuse.

“Which I can do for you. All you have to do is watch my store for me.” He tells me. 

“Is there some reason you want to go there?” I ask. 

“Because even if Justin hates my guts, you made me see it wasn’t his fault that Brian wanted him. I want to do it as a way to thank you, and because I owe Justin something.” He tells me. 

“Don’t make me regret saying yes.” I tell him, hoping Eric will answer when I call.

BRIAN 

Justin grumbled about getting out of bed before the sun rose. I ignored him, and got him in the car I had arranged to take us around. The driver told me about a private cove, and had a picnic made for us, letting me know he could pick us up when I called. I'd made the arrangements while Justin was sleeping, wanting us to be alone.

I honestly don't know how he'll feel about Michael coming here. I wasn't very happy when Wes told me about the change of plans, until he told me about this guy Eric. I figured if Michael didn't behave, then he would find his ass back on a plane, very quickly. 

Justin looked around, not really interested in the scenery. When we were dropped off, he grabbed the basket, saying it was about time we ate. We were sitting on the blanket, eating and enjoying the sun coming up.

“I need to tell you something. Michael is bringing Gus here tomorrow.” I tell him. 

“Is there some reason Wes isn’t?” He asks, not upset.

“He met someone and wants to get to know him.” I tell him. 

“It's about time, he needs someone to share his life with. Do you know who it is?” He asks. 

“I've never met the guy, but you have. His name is Eric.” I tell him, 

“Why do you think I know the guy?” He asks, as he seems to be trying to figure out who I was talking about.

I remember worrying about Justin after the Eric night, but it was obvious I shouldn't have. Since he didn't remember the guy. “He was the guy from the party you went to with Daphne.” I tell him. 

“His name was Eric?” He asks. 

“Yes, and apparently you left him a bit gun shy.” I tell him. 

“Not one of my best moments. It was also hard to do, because in a way, I saw me in him.” He tells me. 

“It wasn’t easy for me either. You kissed the guy.” I tell him. 

“I wasn’t going to, but I wanted him to have the same first time you gave me. You made sure my first time was something worth remembering.” He tells me. 

“Which didn’t make it any easier for me not to worry that one day you'd want someone younger.” I tell him. 

“You know Ethan’s age had nothing to do with it. It was just me wanting someone who could say they loved me. There were times when you'd look at me, and I knew you did, but hearing it would have made a difference. It's just, even hearing Ethan say it wasn't enough, because it wasn’t you.” He tells me. 

“I cared, no matter how I acted. When I told you there weren’t locks on our doors, it wasn’t to make you leave, but hoping you'd stay.” I tell him. 

“I wish I had, but I needed the time to see if I could take care of myself.” He tells me. 

“Which you did.” I tell him, proud of him for not caving, but doing what he needed to do.

“I wanted to come back all the time. Only I didn’t want you to still see me as a kid. Our relationship is different now. I know the things I want and don't feel like you will ignore it. I see your friendships differently than I did then. It wasn’t that Michael was more important than me, but that you like people needing you, it's something you and Wes have in common. You both protect the people you love.” He tells me.

“It comes from no one protecting me. Deb helped, but there was only so much I would let her do.” I tell him. 

“Rage was my way of trying to understand you. I let Rage be all the things you weren’t ready to be. I still regret handing it over to Michael, and seeing what he did to it.” He tells me.

“Why did you give it up?” I ask. 

“I thought Michael would give me clues about you in the comic. That way I could at least know something about your life.” He tells me. 

“It was based on us, you left and so did anything Michael could think up. Why not just let Ted tell you?” I ask. 

“My reason was selfish. When Ted and I became friends, I never wanted him to think it was just so I could hear about you. I wanted Ted to know that he and I were friends because he is this really great person. When he told me you hired him, I was proud of you for seeing Ted for the guy he is.” He tells me, making me feel ten feet tall.

“He lacked confidence in his abilities, it wasn’t easy to get him to see that being an accountant wasn't the end of the world.” I tell him. 

“I wasn’t happy when I heard how he financed his trip to Palm Springs. It's why Wes and I found a lockdown rehab. He wasn’t going to get an easy way out when he had hurt Gus. I was surprised you didn't kick his ass for that.” He tells me. 

“I might have, but I thought the girls were smarter than to give money to a drug addict. They were just as much to blame for trusting him. You were right, we weren’t blind to what he was doing, but we also didn’t really help him when we should have.” I tell him. 

“At least when he got back, everyone was willing to give him a chance. It made it easier for me to decide to come back. I want you to know I really didn't expect you to forgive me as easily as you did.” He tells me. 

“I realized I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life without you, so there was no point in making it harder to be together.” I tell him, as the sun rose over us.

WES

I swear to God, Michael has turned into mother hen. He kept pestering me to call Eric all the way to the airport. Gus didn’t care that it was Michael taking him, just got impatient when Michael wouldn’t quit trying to give me dating tips.

“Uncle Mikey, you aren't exactly the one anyone needs to listen to about dating.” Gus tells him,  grabbing his arm and pulling him through the security gate.

“It's why he should listen, so he knows what not to do.” Michael tells Gus.

“My Dad didn’t listen to you and guess what, he's married to the person that you didn’t want to share him with.” He tells Michael, smirking.

“I'm happy about it, I really am. Wes do what Brian did, get the twink.” Michael yells, loud enough for the whole airport to hear.

“For once Michael’s advice makes sense.” Ted whispers.

“I didn’t need it, when I want something, I get it.” I tell him, as we wave them off.

“Hopefully you won't get pissed but Deb invited Eric to Sunday dinner.” Ted tells me. 

“Why would that piss me off?” I ask. 

“Because like Michael, it's Deb’s way of interfering. She really likes Eric and thinks you're perfect for him.” He tells me, as we get to the car.

“I've never felt like this about someone. It doesn't make sense, because I don't even know him.” I tell him. 

“You could find out he's not what you want, but sometimes you find the person for you without even realizing it because it happens when you’re not looking. I know the night Brian meet Justin under the streetlight, he didn’t expect to find the person he wanted for life.” He tells me. 

“I don’t want him to be uncomfortable around me. It bothers me that he let what Justin did affect him like this.” I tell him. 

“Are you worried that it's the part of you that wants to charge in and save him?” He asks. 

“I'd only be worried about that if I hadn’t reacted as strongly as I did just touching him. I don't want to save him. If that was all it was, I'd be on the plane with Gus.” I tell him. 

“Then do him a favor and don't make your first date Deb's house. It takes time for anyone to be ready for Deb's dinner table.” He tells me.

I dropped Ted off at Kinnetik and sat in my car, wondering why I hadn't called Eric yet. I dialed the number I stored in my phone and he answered.

“How about lunch, anywhere you want.” I tell him. 

“Wes? Aren't you supposed to be on a trip?” He asks.

“Why go to Australia when I'd rather get to know you?” I ask him. 

“It doesn’t bother you that I was sort of hung up on your cousin at one time?” He asks. 

“Are you still?” I ask. 

“I'm not that pathetic. It's just, after him I figured out he was right, life doesn't always go the way you expected it to.” He tells me. 

“He wasn’t your only bad experience?” I ask. 

“No. Just first in a long line of them. I didn’t pine away for him, but it seems like every guy I date doesn’t want what I do.” He tells me. 

“What do you want?” I ask. 

“Just for once, I want to be enough for someone.” He tells me. 

“I can't promise more than that we're on the same page. If you give me a chance, we’ll see if this is more than me thinking you're gorgeous.” I tell him. 

“I think you've got that backwards, you're the one that had half the guys at the diner eyeing you.” He tells me. 

“You're the only one I wanted to eye me.” I tell him. 

“I like Sushi.” He tells me. 

“Tell me where and I'll be there.” I tell him, ready to do anything he wants.

BRIAN 

Seeing Gus run off the plane, lit Justin up like a Christmas tree. Michael slowly followed Gus, wary of his reception. Justin took a deep breath before greeting Michael. I knew they would never be close, but Justin’s maturity showed by not snubbing Michael. 

Justin arranged for us to see the set of the Lord of the Rings. Which had Michael practically bouncing in the car. Gus was just happy he had something interesting to take pictures of to show his class. While Gus was busy asking questions to the person giving us a VIP tour, Michael wanted to talk to me. 

“I really fucked up with Justin. He told me he didn’t see us being friends, but that he could deal with me.” He tells me. 

“It's the best you're going to get from him. I'm respecting his decisions this time. He isn't demanding that I cut you out of my life, and I'm not demanding he treats you any better than you did him.” I tell him. 

“I came because I wanted him give him back the rights to Rage. He can fix what I destroyed.” He tells me. 

“He won't want to work with you again. What you did in that second issue was just reaffirming what you said. It's why I never opened it when you brought it to me. I didn’t want to believe my best friend, the person who sat with me while I waited to hear if the man I love survived, could publish my nightmares.” I tell him.

“I was fucking jealous of how he showed up and got, almost from the beginning, what I waited years for you to want with me.” He tells me. 

“Michael, you seem to have a different idea of what it was like for Justin. You seemed to ignore anything I did, but zeroed in on everything Justin did that you saw as wrong. Do you want the unvarnished truth about what being with me would have been like for you? It wasn’t the romantic getaways of Dr Dave, or long walks in the park with Ben. It would have been you watching me fuck other men, while I made damn sure you knew I wouldn't say I love you, or even call what we were doing a relationship. It was me encouraging my partner to fuck someone else, and act like an ass when he wanted to have a picnic. I wasn’t including him in my problems, instead I was telling my best friend. Watching him trying not to be disappointed every time he wanted us to do something and I skipped out on him. You kept saying Justin didn’t deserve me, but be honest, did I deserve his love after treating him the way I did?” I ask. 

“It doesn’t matter what I think, because in the end he loved you, faults and all.” He tells me. 

“I hope one day you find what Justin and I have, but you can't be him. I didn’t interfere while you were chasing Byron, because it was time for you to take responsibility for your own life. Now that you screwed your head back on, did it help you figure anything out?” I ask. 

“Wes sort of helped me figure out why my relationships crash and burn. I'm never me, I’m just what I think the other person wants. It's the same thing I did with you. If you wanted to party all night, I didn’t care that I had to be at work. When the truth was I'd rather watch a movie or sit around with other comic geeks talking about the plot twists. Thinking about my past, I can’t figure out why I ignored Ted, who was better for me.” He tells me. 

“You ignored Ted because you couldn’t give him what he wanted. You can’t love someone unless you do. Emmett and Ted figured that out. It wouldn’t have worked with you any better than it did with Emmett for Ted. It's different when you really love someone.” I tell him.

“I hope one day I love someone as much as you love him.” He says quietly.

“He once said that to me about you.” I tell him, kissing his head.

MICHAEL 

Watching Justin work really changes the way I once thought of him. He wasn’t taking orders but giving them. When we came back, Gus wanted to see what Justin was doing. I was surrounded by some of the biggest names in the acting field, but was unable to stop watching Justin. The people around him respected him and practically tripped over themselves to do what he wanted. Yet when Brett Keller walked over, they deferred to Justin and his boss, treating Brett as if he was a bit player, not the guy who signed their paychecks.

Justin was getting irritated at Brett and looked at me, smiling a smile I've never seen. He said something to Brett that had him looking at me. Brett frowned when Justin shooed him towards me and Brian, but walked over to me. Gus took off to go see Justin saying something I couldn’t hear to Brett.

“If I didn't like that kid, he'd have been fired every time we work together.” He tells Brian.

“It's what you get for hiring him.” Brian tells him.

“So you're the idiot who screwed up Rage?” He asks me.

“Yes I am.” I admit.

“Thanks for doing that.” He tells me. 

“I'm not sure that was a compliment.” I tell him.

“It was the reason I took an interest in the original illustrator. His work in that issue kept me from ignoring the intern like I would normally do. It made me keep up with his work at the studio and introduce him to the art director of all of my movies. One day, he's going to be fought over by other directors, because he's surpassing what even his boss does. So yeah, thanks, because he's always going to leave his door open for me.” He tells me. 

“Only in business.” Brian tells him. 

“He's made that clear to everyone on the set.” He tells Brian, who gets smug.

Suddenly, giving him the rights to Rage seems like nothing, when Brett was pretty much saying Justin was headed to bigger and better things. I still wanted to offer it to him as a way for him to see I understood he was the better person, not just for Rage, but for my best friend. 

At dinner, I handed Justin the envelope with the transfer of ownership. He looked at it, then handed it back to me.

“I don’t need Rage anymore.” He tells me, looking at Brian.

I went for a walk, since Brian said Gus wanted to watch movies. Justin was in the lobby talking to a couple of people he worked with when I walked past. He broke off from them and offered to walk around with me.

“Brian said he and Gus are staying in.” I tell him. 

“He told me.” He says, walking with me.

“Aren't you going to join them?” I ask. 

“Later. You look kind of lost.” He tells me. 

“Why do you always have to be a nice guy?” I ask, thinking this was just one more thing that makes him better than me.

“It balances my relationship with Brian. He gets to be the big bad, me nice.” He jokes.

“Why didn’t you want Rage?” I ask.

“Because it symbolized my unrealistic expectations, and in a lot of respects, my immaturity. I'm not saying liking comics is immature, just that my reasons for doing the comic were. I wanted Rage to be everything Brian wouldn’t be.” He tells me. 

“Like the way I try to live through comics.” I tell him. 

“Michael, it's understanding that there isn't a hero, charging in on a white horse to save you. It’s learning to be the hero. We can't have powers, but we can learn that being a hero is doing what we can to help people. While I was gone, one of the things I learned was that Brian was right, in the end you only have you. He was also wrong, in that it isn't weak to show you care. It's something he figured out while I was gone. I do care about you, it's just hard to want to be involved with you, when you’re really the selfish shit you once told me Brian was. I came back and instead of growing up, you're still stuck at first base.” He tells me.

“It's hard to follow in your footsteps. Everything you do, you do well.” I tell him. 

“Are you serious? I've made hundreds of bad decisions. I acted like a child, running away from the shit I did. I'm not perfect or even close. If that's why you've spent the entire time we've known each other treating me like shit, you're not seeing me.” He tells me, leaving me to go back to the hotel.

I kept walking, thinking about how Justin must have felt when Brian would talk to me, but treat Justin like he wouldn’t understand. I needed to talk to someone who wouldn’t blow smoke up my ass.

“Michael, you do realize how expensive this call is?” Emmett asks. 

“Why did you stay friends with me, after some of the bullshit I did?” I ask. 

“Being friends means not giving up on someone. Why are you asking?” He asks. 

“Because it bothers me that I could be the kind of person who said the things I did about Justin after he left. Ma was right, I took Justin’s generosity and shit on him.” I tell him. 

“I don’t think he dwells on it, why are you?” He asks. 

“Because I care about him.” I tell him. 

“Then give him a reason to believe you can be a better person.” He tells me. 

“How?” I ask.

“For once, do what he did.” He tells me. 

“I'm not doing the whole Byron thing again.” I joke.

“It was entertaining at least. But I'm talking about learning to be Michael.” He says, hanging up.

BRIAN