Title: How to Lose a Guy in Ten Weeks…
Type: AU
Word Count: 2371
Warnings: Angst, Love, and Passion…
Beta Queen: bigj52

Summary: Justin reflects on all his mistakes since coming home from Hollywood…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…


How to Lose a Guy in Ten Weeks…


Justin’s POV


I’m an idiot. Looking back, I couldn’t have destroyed my relationship with Brian more if I tried. It’s like a bad B movie plot from the fifties; ditzy blond tries to trap gorgeous man into giving up his playboy lifestyle and marry them, and they live happily ever after.


Okay, and I might have even achieved that, except I said, “Thanks for asking, but the answer is no.”


What the hell is wrong with me?


I guess I need to back it up…


After years of chasing him, negotiating with him, cheating on him, arguing with him, leaving him, (more times than I care to admit) being forgiven by him, and making up with him, I finally broke him, and then I crushed him.

One thing for sure, it wasn’t ever boring. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but somehow we seemed to weather the storm. We were finally in a good place, we trusted each other and we were happy. He even asked me to move back in with him, but I just couldn’t help myself. As soon as he was ready to really give our relationship a try, I left him for Hollywood.


Sure, he encouraged me to go. He told me it was a great opportunity, and that I’d be a fool not to take it. But his eyes betrayed him. I knew I was hurting him, leaving him once again for glory and fame, while in the process, throwing away what I had spent years chasing. Just a few days later, I was gone and I have to wonder why I was so willing to throw away everything that I had wanted since the day we met.


We said it was just a temporary separation, and we’d talk every day. He’d visit, that we were going to be fine. But it was just a matter of weeks before the daily phone calls became weekly. I told myself that the time change made it hard for us to connect with each other. When we talked he seemed distant, preoccupied, and neither of us acknowledged it. Then the movie ran behind, more than once. The longer I was in California, the more he was convinced that I wasn’t coming back. I could feel him pulling away, but I refused to admit it, or do anything to reassure him.


I was dazzled by Tinsel Town, dating movie stars, basking in the sun, and being praised by the movie executives. Life seemed to be an endless beach party with pretty boys and nights of dancing until dawn. Then it all came to a screeching halt: ‘God was in and gay was out!’ It happened so fast I felt like I had whiplash. The good friends I had the week before, no longer accepted my calls. And to make matters worse I had to be out of Bret’s pool house in less than a week.





It was a blow to my ego, and the idea of returning home with nothing to show for the months I had been away, made me feel like a failure. Walking into the loft, I was hit full force with the reality that things were not as I had left them. Brian may have been encouraging, even pushing me to follow my dreams. But he was now no longer the man I left behind, the one who was ready to admit his feelings for me, or wanted the same things I did. It was a reset, years of pushing and pulling dissolved into thin air. I was being punished for ever letting myself believe that we could have it all.





Seeing him fucking someone else in our bed crushed me. But I learned long ago from the master to never let it show. I slipped my mask firmly in place, and smiled. I was determined to show him I had grown up and he couldn’t hurt me anymore. And he wasn’t the only one who had changed. Michael seemed to have done a 180 since I left. He and Ben bought a house in gay suburbia, and they no longer frequented Woody’s and Babylon.


At first I was shocked by all the changes, so seeing Brian revert back to his old pain management mode made perfect sense. But it didn’t take long before I found myself being pulled into the eye of the storm. Michael was now the social butterfly, giving dinner parties and decorating playrooms for his daughter. He fought Mel and Lindsay for joint custody, and made no secret that he thought he was a better parent than Brian. He knew just how to push all of Brian’s buttons, rubbing it in his face. He no longer worshiped Brian, following him around like a lovesick puppy. He now condemned him, treated Brian like a slut, forever damaging his past relationship with him.


Michael was determined to marry off Rage and JT, insisting on pushing the gay marriage agenda to make a social statement. But it soon warped into Brian thinking I wanted to follow Ben and Michael into the land of Stepford zombies. The worst part was that the more I was around them, the more I longed for the Brian I left behind when I went to LA. We were back to pushing and pulling, neither one of us giving an inch. Brian resented me for hoping that he’d give me what Ben and Michael had, although I couldn’t see it at the time.


I whined when Brian wanted to go out, then I refused to go with him. I’d sit alone by myself, and let my mind wander to a place where I thought I had to have it all or nothing. And that’s what I got, nothing. I should have known better than to back Brian into a corner, making him feel like a caged animal, knowing all along what the outcome would be. Yet I couldn’t stop myself. Neither of us would back down, and even though I could see the pain in his eyes, knowing he wanted to ask me to stay, he couldn’t say the words. So I walked away from the only man I have ever loved.





None of this stopped me from feeling like a self-righteous bastard, and acting like a spoiled child. I marched with Debbie, Michael and Ben for prop 14, knocked on doors, and worked the phone banks. I’m sure it was a slap in the face for Brian who has always rallied against marriage, and domestic bliss. He was always honest about his feelings that you should be together because it was what you wanted, not because you were legally obligated.


Over the next few weeks I often saw him while walking down the street, or hanging posters for the benefit. I couldn’t help seeing the pain in his eyes, and the love he still felt for me. I felt it too, but I was too bullheaded, and caught up in the political hoopla that was tearing us apart. He volunteered his club for a cause that he didn’t believe in, still being the selfless person he always has been, but no one acknowledged it. I kept hoping that he’d change his mind, that he’d come after me, declaring his love for me. But that wasn’t him, so he booked a flight for Australia to get as far away as possible from everything he detested.


Then it happened… Babylon was bombed and he was there almost as fast as the ambulances, and police cars. He came for me, he loved me. I was disoriented, stumbling around in the dust and debris. I heard him calling for me, sensing the fear and panic in his voice. He pulled me into his arms, and I saw the tears in his eyes. He held me tight, letting me know that I was still the one. That I would always be the only one he needed.





It hit us all hard, we were in shock. So in my mind that’s how I justified his behavior that night, and him saying those three little words I so longed to hear. Now I stand here in my decrepit studio, painting furiously, wondering what just happened, why I am so angry. He asked me to marry him. Brian Kinney asked me to marry him! Then I accused him of overreacting to the bombing. I told him he didn’t really feel that way. Here he was talking about his feelings, and I shut him down, totally discounting what was probably the hardest thing he’s ever said to me. Yeah, I’m an idiot.


Everyone thinks he’s a cold-hearted bastard, but I seem to have taken up that role recently. I accused him of changing. Of course he was changed by the bombing, and we all were. How could we not be? I seriously think I need my head examined. Why does my head keep contradicting what my heart wants? But he seems to have taken my rejection in stride. He just showed up at my door and he’s insisting that he has something I have to see.





We’ve been driving for a while, and I keep playing with the stations on the radio. He just keeps glancing over at me, with a huge smile on his face. I’m nervous as hell, and that’s new for me. Brian evokes so many emotions in me. Love, passion, need, desire, and excitement as well as dread, sorrow, regret and heartache, but never, never nervousness. I went after him unabashedly, chased him for years, so sure of myself and our love for one another. But lately I’ve pushed him away, and rejected him so much that I now I find myself scared it all might really come to an end.


He slows down and turns into a long driveway. There’s a huge mansion in the distance with perfectly manicured gardens. I can’t help thinking maybe he’s going to have me committed. Lord knows I’ve been acting crazy. Isn’t this what most mental hospitals look like? Beautiful on the outside, hiding what’s really going on inside. He’s still smirking, and I can’t help wondering if he’s on medication. Maybe we’re both going to be admitted to the institution?


I take a deep breath, because I somehow know whatever awaits us inside is sure to change our lives forever.


“Brian. What are we doing here?”


“I told you, I wanted to show you something.”


“Don’t you think we should talk about this first?”


Brian just raises his eyebrows in a way that always gets to me.


“Listen. I know I gave you my Power of Attorney when I came to live with you after the bashing. But… I think I should have a say in this.”


He’s back to smirking… Asshole!


“Why don’t we go inside and see how things go. I promise it’s totally up to you what you want to do.”


God! We’re back to, ‘It’s up to me, where I want to be.’ He really needs some new material.


“Okay, but only because it’s freezing out here.”


He takes out a key and opens the ornate door, gesturing for me to enter. That’s weird. I wonder why he has a key to the sanitarium.


I look around and the place is beautiful, with rich mahogany woodwork and a grand staircase. The entry is bigger than my studio, and my curiosity is piqued. I wander down a long aisle of windows and come to the entrance of the main sitting room. There’s a fire burning in the huge fireplace, and the ceilings are so tall I feel like I’m in a grand hotel. I glance around the room, noticing all the elaborate details of the old wood paneled walls. It feels welcoming, and I can’t help feeling like I’m home.


“Brian. Why are we here? Who owns this place?”


“We do.”


“You bought this place?”


“A palace for my prince.”


I’m stunned, as I stare at him, and it all starts to sink in.


“But I said I wouldn’t marry you.”


“Have you ever known me to give up when I decide I want something?”





“So you’re serious?”


“I’ve never been more serious in my life.”


He starts to go down on one knee, and my hearts starts beating out of control. Of course he doesn’t say the words, he just holds out a velvet box. I smile down at him, taking the box and looking at the beautiful platinum rings.


“Say it!”


“Say what?”


“You have to ask me?”


“I already did!”


“Do it again!”


Smirking, Brian says, “Justin, will you marry me? Will you put up with my moodiness and temper tantrums? Will you stand by my side, and lie next to me every night? Will you promise not to fucking leave me when you don’t get your own way? Will you be my partner for as long as we both shall live?”


“Yes!”


“Yes, what? You have to say it!”


Now I’m the one smirking. “Yes. Yes, I will marry you. Yes, I will put up with your stubborn attitude and snarky behavior. Yes, I promise not to leave when things get difficult. Yes, I’ll always support you and your decisions, and yes, I’ll ride off with you into the sunset and love you until the end of time.”


“Good boy!”


Brian reaches up and pulls Justin down into his arms, kissing him madly. Both their hearts are beating rapidly, as they pull at each other’s clothes, until they’re naked on the plush Oriental rug in front of the fireplace.


“Wait! Wait. I want us to put our rings on first.”


“You don’t want to wait until the ceremony?”


“I thought that was the ceremony?”


“I thought you’d want the big wedding, with all the family present?”


“Hell No! There’s no way I want Michael to be able to object when the priest asks if anyone knows any reason why we shouldn’t be wed. They can all come to our huge, over the top reception and shower us with expensive gifts!”


“You’re becoming more and more like me every day.”


“I learned from the master.”


So in the end, I got my Prince Charming, proving that fairytales really do come true.


The End