Far away....

And every minute you're gone, I'm missing you so

I can't believe that you're far away

Can't get you out of mind, boy you're out of my life

I can't believe that you're far away

And it would be different, if you could hear me baby

Now that you're so far away

Didn't want you to go baby

                         -Far away by Marsha Ambrosius

It's been said that a person should be careful about what they say to another out of anger, because it might be something you'll regret....or worse yet turn out to be the last thing you will ever say to them.

Debbie contemplated this thought as she sat at Vic's grave site, lovingly manicuring her brother's final resting place. She placed a fresh bouquet of roses at his headstone, and lightly ran her palm across the cold marble that displayed stinted details of her sibling's life.

Her mind kept drifting back to what would be the last conversation they would ever have. Debbie had been upset that Vic and his new partner Rodney had failed to include her in their impromptu housewarming party. At least they had said it was such anyway. It was hard enough for her that Vic would be leaving but when he had assured her that she would be the first official guest in their new home, she was over the moon with excitement.

"You hear that boys...I'm going to be their first official guest," she happily exclaimed to the bustling dinner crowd at the diner.

So how did it come to pass that a brother and sister who were almost inseparable, become so distant so quickly? Debbie could only chalk it up to pure jealousy. In retrospect she knew her being jealous of Vic and Rodney's relationship was the driving force behind her anger. She'd told him during a heated argument that she never wanted to see his fucking face again and walked out of his and Rodney's home without saying goodbye.....now she would never have the chance to do so.

Debbie let her tears flow unheeded as she searched for the right words to ask forgiveness. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath before starting to speak in a low somber voice.

"Hey kiddo....I hope you can hear me wherever you are. I just want to say that I am so sorry for the way I treated you and for how things ended between us." She composed herself slightly willing herself to continue her penance.

"W-when I said I never wanted to see you again, I didn't mean it. I guess I was just angry and hurt because I thought Rodney was taking you away from me. I felt like I was losing you and I didn't know how to deal with that," she said almost pleadingly

"You were trying to tell me otherwise, but I was just too damn stubborn to hear it. It wasn't easy for me to let go you know...." She wiped the tears from her cheeks a small smile forming on her lips.

"It's always been you and me and Michael, and after Michael left, you were all I had. Sure Michael and the rest of the gang would always be there, but it's not the same....would never be the same," she whispered softly. Debbie stopped talking long enough to get a tissue from her pocket to blow her nose and dab away the tears still welling in her eyes.

"I-I just need to know that you forgive me for my cruelty...my idiotic, misplaced, unjustifiable cruelty. I know I don't deserve it, but my heart and soul won't rest unless I somehow have the knowledge that you've forgiven me." She said hanging her head in shame. Debbie knew she needed to speak her final peace, at least for today as she was due for her shift at the diner in less than an hour. Breathing deeply once again she prepared to officially say her final goodbye.

"Well baby brother....it's time for me to go but before I do, I just wanted to let you know how much I love you. I miss you so much it hurts and the pain just seem to get worse as the days go by, but I'll get better...I promise." Debbie stood brushing away stray blades of grass and dust and transferred an errant kiss from her hand to Vic's headstone.

"Goodbye Vic, save a place for me in heaven," she whispered, and having finally said her peace she left her brother's side to begin healing.