For me, being alone is easy. For others, they need people around them, unable to do anything unless they have others to witness it. Maybe it was easier for me because I’ve been alone for most of my life. My parents checked out the day I was born. At least it’s how I choose to see it. I don’t pretend a life that forced them to give me up. There’s no reason to fool myself, or anyone else. Of course, there would need to be someone in my life to fool, maybe it’s the reason I never tried to make up some story in order to justify why my parent or parents left me at the hospital the night I was born. I did fine on my own, at least until I saw him. He interested me, something no one else ever did. Likely because I saw in him the loneliness I tried never to acknowledge in my own life. He dealt with it differently, letting the world believe he was anything but alone. He was what I could have become if I had let people in. So I studied him the way I studied anything that didn’t make sense to me.

It’s like tonight, I sat watching him, the way most men do. I didn’t wish for a night that I was the one who got his attention. I just liked watching the way he casually strolls, every eye on him, yet no one really touches him. He never lets anyone close to him, and none of them realize it. The masses that swirl around him, only saw something elusive and wild they sought to tame. I saw that he stood alone in a crowd. They watched him, not seeing it, not seeing that no one was allowed to see the real person behind the man they all wanted to own.

Even the friends, who either wish they could be him, or could be the one with him, didn't see it. They interested me because they were still trying, no matter how hard he pushed them away from himself. That was what held my interest about him. Because he’s me, only with a crowd, no matter how many eyes watch him. They get the body, wishing for more, but never getting the part he hides from them all. My voyeurism ends when he picks a guy and they go to the backroom. I didn’t want to see how little each guy really meant afterwards, which I witness the next time they approach him again the next time they see him. It made sense, and I wanted him to not make sense, because it gave me a reason to keep seeking him out.

It was time to go home, time to go back to my life. The one where my thoughts didn't stray to how I could have been. The one without Brian Kinney and my way of living through him for the small moments, in order to sleep. Unlike him, people don’t see me as mysterious. Instead, they see me as if looking at a zoo animal, before walking the other way when I only stare at them, not knowing what to say to them. I don’t know what to say or how to answer, since my life was spent with the people who were only interested in how my mind works. I wasn’t Justin Taylor; just a genius. Only useful for what my mind could do. So I spent my life on the outside looking in, only I couldn’t understand what I was seeing. Until the night I looked up at his window my life was as normal as it had ever been. In public, he was everything people in the clubs gossiped about, as if it was all he was. In private, he was on the outside looking in like me. It’s why I continued to watch him, because I never understood letting people close when it was just an illusion. In my mind he allowed it, because the illusion was better than being alone. Which really was simple, but for me didn’t make sense, since I dealt in reality.

I walked out into the night, ignoring anyone who looked at me with interest or curiosity. Instead of going home, I needed to go somewhere without noise, or people who might expect me to talk to them. It was running through my head, the thought of what it would be like if for once Brian looked up and saw me. Which didn’t make sense because I didn’t want anyone around me. Sitting in my car I didn’t drive off, but  looked out into the night. When there were no answers I started the car, planning to go to the park next to the water, where I went when I needed quiet that wasn’t my house. Hoping to clear the thoughts I’ve been having out of my mind. My passenger door opened before I could leave and he got in, not asking, just getting in, assuming it was alright to do.

“Wherever your going is fine.” Brian said, not caring that I only stared back at him.

I looked to see his friends all standing looking at my car, as if in shock at being left behind, with him not caring that he was leaving them to go with a stranger. Maybe it was what he does after I leave, but it was something I never stuck around to find out about. I could see the friends being upset over him getting in my car, only they walked away as if it was required of them.

“Can you drive?” Brian asked.

So I did, not saying anything about where we were going. He didn’t seem to mind that I hadn’t said a word, just looked out the window as the world went by us. It was strange that he didn’t try to fill in the silence in the car, since most people get uncomfortable when they aren’t creating noise just to avoid the silence.

Then I stopped and got out, leaving him to either sit in the car or leave. I made my way to the bench where I sat  most nights. He got out and followed me. For me, looking out to the black  water made my mind stop. I could close my eyes and let the sounds overtake the noise in my head. With my eyes closed my world became centered in the place that I could once again handle being alone. Yes, being alone was easy, but sometimes I craved more. It’s how I found Brian. 

I remember walking the streets like I did when I didn’t want to sit in my house, no purpose in mind. Every once in a while I would look at people’s windows, wondering what went on behind the curtains. One night I felt the need to look up to a window, and I saw him, staring into the night. He interested me only because I’d spent nights doing the same thing, only going out when the walls were closing in around me. My window was my way of noticing the world was still moving around me. He wasn’t looking at anything that night other than the sky. I ended up sitting on the bench across the street for over an hour, watching him as he watched the sky. It was the first night I went home and slept for longer than a couple of hours. A few weeks later I tried it again when I saw him standing at the window, and again was able to sleep. Sleep was something my mind didn’t like, and nothing worked, until him. 

The first time I followed him was by chance. I happened to be in the diner I passed by most nights, getting something to drink, and he walked in, not noticing me. I watched as the lonely man in the window became someone new. Instead of just leaving, I watched him as his friends sat around him joking, waiting for him to approve of their conversations. Each one needed whatever he would say, as if his approval was important. Eventually he got up and all of them followed him, as if only what he wanted mattered to them. I followed to see what he did when he wasn’t standing at his window. Once again, everything I was seeing wasn’t the person I decided he was. It was just that after leaving him I could sleep again, so I started showing up every night he was here, I could blend in better. Each night I watched him until he went into the backroom, not understanding what it was about him that allowed my mind to rest.

Closing my eyes, I felt his eyes on me as if he was waiting for something. He didn’t talk, instead he just sat next to me. I could hear him breathing and I kept my eyes closed, the sound was one I once dreamed about. In the dream, it felt natural that he would be next to me, breathing. I couldn’t explain it to myself, so I didn’t try. The sound of people walking by, talking, made me open my eyes.

“Why have you been watching me?” Brian asks, turning my head to look at him.

“No reason. Are you ready to go?” I asks, not wanting him to become like other people when they tried to talk to me.

“You just got here, and now you want to leave?” He asks.

“Yes.” I say, not explaining that the water wasn’t working when he was close to me.

“Where do you want to go?” He asks.

“To take you back to your world.” I tell him.

“Is this yours?” Brian asks, looking around. 

I didn’t answer. He didn’t need to know what my world was like. He lived it, only with a crowd surrounding him. I didn’t want the noise that came from his world, even when there were nights I craved it.

“I’m Brian.” He says, waiting for me to say something.

At first I thought about lying to him, but in the end realized why would it matter if he knew my name.

It took me a second to give him my name, and I realized how little I used my voice. “Justin.” I say.

BRIAN

I couldn’t figure him out. At first I didn’t think much about him. I’d seen him walking down the street at night, never stopping, until the night I stood at the window waiting for him to walk by. He didn’t do what I expected him to, he stopped, sat down, and looked at me. I didn’t look directly at him, even when I knew he was watching me. He didn’t make a secret of it, just sat and watched me. Only it was different, he wasn’t looking at me as if he wanted me, just as if I was a piece of art on a wall that he was trying to figure out the meaning of.

I debated going down to ask him what he was doing, but in the end I didn’t. For weeks I stood at my window and waited to see what he would do if I was standing there, and eventually he came and would sit watching me until I left the window. I would have considered it stalking, only he never came near me, never talked to me or to anyone who passed by him, just watched and then left. It was strange, but not, at the same time. I let it go, not feeling alone for once in my life. I never mentioned it to anyone. Because what would I say about a guy I didn’t even know or understand.

I remember walking into the diner one night, at first not seeing him sitting at the counter. Only, Deb tilted her head at me, as if she was worried about him. Michael, Emmett, and Ted never noticed unless Deb said something out loud, but the tilt of her head was something she used with me. I didn’t approach him, just walked to the booth. Letting the guys talk endlessly about things I really didn’t care about, only nodding or adding a comment so they would keep talking, while I waited to see what he would do. He sat watching us, but never made eye contact with me. It felt like we had a secret that was just ours, and by meeting it wouldn’t be just us anymore. 

When he followed us to Babylon, I watched him as he went up the stairs, ignoring the men who licked their lips as he walked by. I wanted to follow him, but instead used the crowd to watch him. I wanted to bother him the way he bothered me, and picked the first guy offering. Only when I came out, he was gone. The next night he was there waiting when we got to Babylon, and the guy from the night before came up to me,  hoping for a repeat. I did what I always do when guys thought it was more than it was, and sent him away. When I looked up he walked down the stairs as if what I did upset him, only to come back again the next night and watch me. 

It wasn’t until tonight that I couldn’t keep doing this game we were playing. I needed something. What it was I didn’t know, but it was something only he could give me. I knew the only way to get him alone was to play my part in the game we’d established. I didn’t even go with the guy to the backroom, just agreed so that my watcher would leave the club. I waited for him to go out the door and followed him. I thought I’d lost him when he got in the car, but he didn’t leave immediately, which allowed me time to get to his car. I got in as he started the car and when I told him to drive, he did, only looking past me at my friends. He didn’t ask about anything, just drove us to wherever he was going. I liked that he didn’t need noise to be comfortable, something everyone in my life needed. He didn’t even say anything when he got of the car, just walked towards the benches and sat down. It was as if he’d forgotten I was there. I followed for some reason, needing to hear his voice, like it would explain why he kept my attention when he did nothing to get it. Only, it was as if by speaking something changed and he wanted me gone. I wanted more for the first time. I wanted to know everything about him. It didn’t make sense, we didn’t know each other and there was no reason we should, but I felt as if I would lose something if he disappeared because I’d crossed some line. Only it was crossed, and I refused to let him go without at least knowing his name. When I said mine, it was as if he had to think to talk, and a part of me wondered if anyone ever talked to him. I wanted to run because I didn’t need someone else to worry about, my life was full of them. Only I sat there, waiting for him to finally give me a name. For a second I could see in his beautiful blue eyes the lie that he almost let out, only to simply say his name. Justin. 

He parked in front of my loft, waiting for me to leave but I couldn’t. I wanted to spend time with him, to find out all the things I didn’t know about him, and maybe it would stop me from dreaming of him. Dreaming of a life that was something I never dreamed I could have.

“Do you want to come up? You’ve seen the window, but the rest is still a mystery.” I tell him.

Justin looked up, as if going to my loft was wrong. But my need to know was greater than the fear I saw in his eyes at what going up there could mean to the thing we’d been doing.

“I want to know what is going on behind your eyes.” I say, reaching out to touch any part of him. 

Justin was shaking when I laid my hands on his face, but he let me touch him. At that moment, I felt his pain, I knew he didn’t get touched by anyone. He stood apart, the way he did at the club, letting the world surround him, but not touch him. It was something we shared, and it made him special in a way no one else had ever been. I refused to let him go, because in my soul I knew if I did this would be the end for us. An us that didn’t really exist, but I wanted it to, for reasons I couldn’t figure out.

“Don’t you want to see what you stare at every night?” I ask, running my hands down his cheeks to his neck, until I reached his hand, shaking on the steering wheel.

I took the hand into mine, as if it would keep him from leaving me. Then it was me shaking, because for the first time in my life I didn’t want someone to go. Justin pulled his hand from mine, but didn’t start the car. He got out and walked to the door of the building, waiting for me to let him in. We walked up the stairs together in silence, something that in a way was us. For the first time I worried about how someone would look at my loft. Would he see the way it was designed as interesting, or what it was, a showplace. I didn’t know why it was important to me that he saw past the facade I created because I didn’t want anyone to know the real me.

Justin stood in the doorway, taking in the whole loft, not saying anything. He slowly walked around touching everything, then looking at me as if to ask if I minded. 

“I need to take a shower, go ahead and look around.” I tell him.

In the bathroom, I wanted to get the stink of the club off me. I didn’t expect that Justin would be there when I got out, but I didn’t want to watch him leave if he did. I stood under the water, trying to understand how for some reason he was important to me. I’d spent my life believing I’d be alone one day. Not wanting anyone to get close because eventually I wouldn’t be the man they all wanted. My life was built to be alone, but something about Justin made me crave the wish that someone would really see me, and still want the damaged man I really was.

I came out to find him looking at my closet, and he smiled a small smile before leaving me to get dressed. I took my time, watching as he opened and closed all the cabinets before opening the refrigerator. There was no judgement over the drugs, just at the emptiness of food. Which made more sense when his stomach growled. 

“I’d offer you something to eat, but as you can see there’s not much in there.” I say, starting to wonder why I didn’t put food in my home.

“Eggs, milk, and bread.” He says, as if it made my bare kitchen less bare.

He didn’t ask, just started making food with what I had. I needed to fill in the silence, but not with meaningless chatter. 

“Why me?” I ask, almost wincing at how needy it sounded.

Justin didn’t answer right away but took his time, as if the answer was important to him. I wanted him to look at me when he answered, and turned his head to look at me.

“You give me peace. Something I’ve never really had.” He says, turning his head back to the stove.

“Why don’t you?” I ask.

“I can’t shut off the ideas that need to get out, and… just watching you does that for me. I don’t need more from you, just what we do.” Justin tells me.

“What if I want more?” I ask, wondering where it came from.

“You won’t. No one does.” He says, not sounding as if there was anything wrong with it.

“How do you know?” I ask, really interested.

“It’s how people react to me. I don’t know what to say when they ask things, and eventually they stop asking.” Justin tells me.

“So you stop trying?” I ask.

“Being alone is easier, always has been.” He says, handing me a plate.

I looked at the french toast, deciding to break my no carbs rule, because he made it for me without asking. I started looking through my cabinets trying to find syrup, only to have him open one and get the syrup I didn’t know I had.

“I guess Lindsay must have bought it.” I tell him, as if he knew my friends.

“Lindsay?” He asks.

“She’s a friend I’ve had since college, she tends to buy things so I have them for when my son comes over.” I tell him, watching him look confused. “She wanted a baby and I eventually agreed to help her and her partner have one. I wasn’t supposed to be more than a sperm donor but he’s the best part of me.” I say, willing to tell him anything he needed to know about me.

Justin ate in silence as I told him about Gus and my life, while not offering anything about his. I started to run out of things to say, and eventually I ask him about himself.

“Are you out or not?” I ask.

“Neither, you’re really the first person who seemed to want to know.” Justin tells me.

“Have you ever been close to anyone?” I ask.

“As in a relationship?” He asks, instead of answering.

“As in having people who care about you.” I answer.

“No. I need to go.” Justin says, getting up to leave.

“Before you go, let me give you my number.” I tell him, scrambling to find paper.

“Why?” Justin asks.

“Because for some reason I want you to know there might be someone who cares.” I tell him.

Justin looked at the phone number and then left it on the desk as he was leaving. I picked it up to hand it to him.

“Numbers I know. It’s people who disappoint you.” He says, walking out.

I went to the window to watch him leave, only he walked to the bench and sat watching me. I didn’t look away from him, needing him to know I saw him, the way he saw me.

JUSTIN

Everything felt wrong, like by letting him in, nothing would be the same. I didn’t follow my routine and hope for sleep, instead I sat the chair by my window and watched the world outside of it. He made me feel something I never thought I would feel. Wanting to know what being with him would feel like. I didn’t want hear that he could care if I existed, all it did was make the craving for someone hit me with full force. I needed to find a way to stay away from him, even if it meant barely sleeping again. He doesn’t understand what knowing me would be like, and I didn’t want to him to eventually see me the way the rest of the world does. I should have driven away. I shouldn’t have followed him. I shouldn’t have looked up that night. But I did all of those things. I also managed to talk to him, when talking wasn’t something that came easy for me. 

I sat in the chair for days, nodding off occasionally, only to awaken at dreams of Brian. No one came to check on me, since they were used to me disappearing when I was working. I knew eventually Ben would show up, only because of Julian. My boss would send him to make sure I was still available to solve anything he asked of me. Ben tried once to talk to me, but like I told Brian, people gave up when I didn’t answer. Instead he would bring food, and check to see if I needed anything before leaving me alone again. 

When my front door opened, Ben actually looked concerned when he found me. I likely reeked from not moving. And when I got up to walk past him, he had to grab me before I fell over. He let me go when I managed to find my bearings, but followed me until I reached the bathroom.

“I’m going to make a lot of food, which you’re going to eat. Call me if you need help in there.” Ben said, as if I was fragile.

I didn’t have the strength to stand, so I sat under the spray fully clothed. Everything was quiet again by the time I got out. Ben was setting a plate piled with food on the table. Only he sat down, not leaving when he was done doing his duty.

“What is going on? You’ve never been like this.” Ben asked.

“Tell Julian I’m still breathing.” I murmured, uncomfortable that Ben wouldn’t leave.

“That’s not why I’m here.” Ben lied.

Nothing new in Ben lying to me, since he lied about why Julian hired him to be my keeper. I think they hoped Ben would pique my interest, and through Ben, Julian could have someone in my house to make sure I did only what Julian wanted. Only Ben was easy to read and he had no interest in me, beyond his job. And I had no interest in him, so I lived with the fact he was going to be around, and ignored him. 

“It’s time to get back to work.” He tells me.

“What happened?” I sighed.

“Someone broke through the firewalls. They want to know who, and what they were looking for.” Ben tells me.

Talking about work I could do, it was the one place I never felt uncomfortable. “I’ll have it done from here, off you go.” I tell him.

“There’s also another question I need you to answer. What were you doing the other night?” He asks, not even mentioning what other night.

“Nothing that anyone should worry about. And if Julian wants me to do what he asks, then leave it alone.” I tell him.

“It’s important.” Ben told me, referring to the job, when I wouldn’t answer to him or anyone else.

“It always is.” I tell him, wanting to sit in my chair and forget the world.

I found what they needed me to find, and sent the message about to ruin someone’s life for daring to mess with one of the biggest corporations in the world. As usual, the minute the report was sent, Julian sent back an invitation to come have dinner with him. He couldn’t leave me alone, and I got it. Julian was used to people wanting his attention. He also didn’t like my lack of attention, and kept trying, as if I was special to him for some reason. I was only special in what I could do for him, and anyone that would owe him a favor for letting me help them. Otherwise he left me alone, unless he needed me. For a minute I almost said yes, in hopes to get Brian and the other night out of my mind. I typed ‘no’, because I just wanted to avoid people. I wanted to get back to myself again.

I got up and got dressed, not intending to go see Brian. Only it was like I needed to see him. At the club, there was only the friends standing at the bar, Brian wasn’t any place I looked for him. It only took looking at the dark haired friend to know Brian wasn’t there. He was lost, while the other two tried to cheer him up. I left, parking a couple streets away from the loft, getting out to walk by it and check to see if he was there. I planned to avoid staying and watching him, but needed to know where he was. I stopped, seeing Brian sitting on the steps of his loft. He looked worried until he saw me.

“You live.” He said when I walked up to him.

“I don’t understand you.” I tell him.

“You probably understand me better than anyone.” He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me down next to him. “I don’t like that you disappeared.” He admitted.

“Why?” I ask.

“You know where to find me, but when you leave, it could be the last time I see you.” He tells me.

“I… I don’t know how to be… around people. Your life is surrounded by them.” I said, tripping over my words.

“No one has to be around if you don’t want them to be. Whatever it is we’re doing can just be about us.” He tells me.

“I don’t understand why you want this.” I tell him.

“Because you make my life feel less lonely.” He tells me, honestly.

I nodded, understanding because that was the thing he did for me, without even having to know anything about him. 

“Do you want to go up?” He asks, only to scowl when loud voices called his name.

I got up to leave as his friends came looking for him. Brian grabbed my hand before I could walk off. And for the first time I got what he was asking without hearing the words, and recited my address before walking into the night. I was puzzled at how I understood what he wanted, when I never get people. His friends reached him, as if ready to follow him where he led, something I was understanding because he was leading me toward something too.

Julian was waiting at my car, looking unhappy at being there. I wasn’t happy he was there either, and found anger made it easier for me to say what I felt about his intrusion into my time.

“Go away. This isn’t part of my life you get to know about.” I tell him.

“The minute you came to work for me, everything in your life became something I get to know about. You knew that when you signed on.” He tells me, getting in my car as his drives away.

“There’s nothing about him that you need to worry about.” I tell him.

“You really believe that don’t you? Only you don’t understand why I worry. I worry because you’re obsessed with him. And don’t try to deny it, because you know I have you watched. I worry because until the night you followed him up to that loft, you never let anyone keep your attention. You were the like a beautiful doll encased in glass, nothing touched you, but he does somehow.” Julian told me.

I didn’t understand at first why Julian was upset, until I saw the look of hunger on his face. In all our interactions Julian keep this part of why he couldn’t leave me alone hidden from me. I never saw Julian wanting more than what I did to keep his company safe. I didn’t fit into Julian’s world any more than I did into Brian’s. It was that thought that made me want to go back to my shell. Only the part that wanted to know Brian also knew it wasn’t going to be possible to give him up. 

BRIAN

The entire time Justin didn’t show up, I thought back to what happened before his departure the night in the loft. Trying to figure out why he was staying away. It was crazy to be this obsessive about Justin. Only it wasn’t just sexual for me, it was about finding out what made him the way he was. It was about knowing that Justin saw me the way I was, something Mikey never managed to see in all the years we’d stayed friends.

The relief at seeing Justin walk towards me was something new and unusual for me. I didn’t kid myself, it was knowing that I hadn’t blown it with Justin that eased the tension I’d felt for the last few days. Only this time Justin wasn’t going to leave without telling me a way to find him. It wasn’t sane to be this attached to someone who was basically a stranger, but the vulnerability that Justin displayed was hard for me to resist. It was honest, in a world where people hide anything that could hurt them behind smiles and laughs. The loneliness that surrounded Justin was the same thing I’ve felt most of my life. Only I thought that for Justin, he was really alone in life. While I had people around me, I could ignore that no one ever really knew anything but what I let them see. Only Justin could see inside, just from looking at me. I read people easily, and normally do what they want in order to get what I want, and I could read that something about knowing me scared Justin. It was in the shaking he couldn’t control when he stayed still while I touched him. The way he watched me for weeks and never tried to do anything more. He didn’t realize that in a way we were slowly moving towards each other. Something that we were headed for when I realized he could see me.

Justin disappeared when Mikey, Emmett, and Ted came walking up to the loft. I let him go because I didn’t want to force him into dealing with my friends. I had a feeling Emmett would be too much, Ted too little, and Mikey both, around Justin. The truth is I didn’t want Mikey to act like a jealous boyfriend, and figured for once Mikey would have to deal with the asshole everyone called me, all because of a man I barely know. I stood up in hopes they missed Justin’s departure, but Mikey never missed anyone who dared to come near me.

“Was that the reason you couldn’t come tonight?” Mikey said, looking upset.

“He was asking for directions. Is there some reason you guys showed up when I said I was busy?” I let Mikey see that I wasn’t happy that he wouldn’t leave me alone.

“The club was boring and we stopped by to see if you wanted to grab a bite with us.” Emmett said, getting that I didn’t want them here.

“Michael was just concerned about you, we all are. For the last couple of days you’ve been… distant.” Ted added.

“Bullshit. He’s been acting like hanging out with us is a waste of his time. We are your friends and you can’t keep ignoring m… us. I for one would like to know what is more important, the friends who you can count on, or whatever you’ve been preoccupied with.” Mikey says, folding his arms. “In fact why don’t I go see what’s so interesting that you haven’t bothered with us.” Mikey says, starting to walk in the direction Justin went.

“It’s none of your business, and unless it becomes your business, leave it alone.” I warn Mikey.

EMMETT

Holy shit, there’s a part of Brian’s life Michael isn’t allowed in. Which also meant the man we saw leave when we were walking up means something to Brian. Which also means Michael’s world will implode, because Brian’s attention is no longer on him. I saw Brian grab the guy’s hand and the look on his face. Even from the distance I could see it wasn’t just a trick. I’ve seen enough of the way Brian works to understand what I was seeing was that this guy was anything but a trick to Brian. I saw it in the way Brian would watch the guy standing on the platform, as if they were watching each other, and keeping a distance from each other was the only way they wouldn’t give in to each other. Curiosity got the better of me, and I tried to see if anyone knew who the guy was. Only imagine my surprise when all I got were shrugs and questions to see if I knew anything about him. I kept quiet about it because Michael would have marched up and demanded to know why the guy stared at Brian. Something Brian was letting the guy do, and from the reaction just a minute ago would have ripped Michael’s head off for giving ‘the speech’ to the guy. 

The thing is, I could see that the guy didn’t want attention, so I distracted Michael to save his life. Only now I want to grab him by the hair and tell him to get over his wish for Brian to want him. And to stop doing everything he can to keep Brian from finding someone he could love one day. Maybe it’s the part of me that believes if Brian could love someone, then all of us have the chance to find love too. In our world it’s about sex and how to get it, no love or lasting relationships. It’s the world Brian reveled in. Only something changed when this guy appeared, it was so small I missed it at first. Games were normal, and Brian tricking was normal. What wasn’t normal was Brian looking at the platform each time he walked back out of the backroom, and the way he almost looked disappointed at not seeing who he wanted to be there.

The lightbulb in my head burst the other night, since I was watching the guy after Brian walked off, and saw Brian leave the trick to follow him out the door. Ted and I followed Michael, who seems to have a radar on Brian’s ass, and it would go off whenever Brian did something out of the ordinary, like running after a guy who wasn’t offering to suck his dick. After they left, Ted and I consoled Michael, who bitched about Brian forgetting about us, which was code for forgetting Michael. The next morning we sat at the diner, and Brian gave us nothing to indicate there was anything special about what he did the night before.

Michael seemed happier when it seemed like everything was back to normal, not even saying anything when a guy offered Brian his number. Brian blew him off, and Michael forgot he was pissed at Brian. Only now Brian was blowing off everything, including Michael’s unending demands for Brian’s time. This was the Michael I didn’t like, the one who looked in the direction the guy went, trying to think of a way to make Brian feel guilty about wanting anything that didn’t include Michael. While I enjoy Brian being around, I also know he doesn’t owe me his whole life. I would never tell him that I respect him for the way he takes care of everyone. But I could show him my appreciation by doing what he does for us.

“It’s time to go home, let Brian have what he asked for and leave it alone.” I tell Michael, when he stood there as if Brian would back down.

“He owes me…”

“He doesn’t owe us shit. If we want a night without him, you don’t see him questioning it. For once stop acting like Brian wants what you want, and get on with your life.” I finally said the one thing none of us said out loud but all of us knew.

“Emmett.” Ted said, trying to stop me from exposing the elephant we all pretended wasn’t in the room.

“Brian knows it would hurt you if he told you the truth, and keeps quiet for your sake, but it’s time you see the truth. He doesn’t love you the way you want him to.” I said, as kindly as I could.

“Brian?” Michael asks, in hopes to hear what he’d spent his life ruining relationships for.

“I’m not what you want me to be, I don’t think I ever can be.” Brian tells him, turning and going in the loft building, letting me be the one who takes care of Michael.

“I’ve been an idiot, all this time.” Michael said, crying when there was no way not to face the truth.

“We all are, when we want something we can’t have.” Teddy said, as if he saw the truth about his wishes. “I for one want something I can have, how about food?” He jokes, which got Michael moving with us.

In my head I thought, ‘I want someone to hold my hand the way Brian did with the guy’, as if letting go hurt. 

BRIAN

A few days passed without Justin showing up. I didn’t go find him, not because I didn’t want to, but because Lindsay and Mel showed up handing over Gus, when Mel’s favorite aunt died. Mel’s family tolerated Lindsay, and Mel refused to let them dismiss Gus. It was one thing none of us would allow. It’s why Lindsay stopped taking Gus when she saw her parents, and why we all agreed my mother would never know he existed. Lindsay whispered, telling me that we could talk when she got back, likely hearing what happened with Mikey and worried about me. Deb came by my office and made sure I understood that it didn’t change that I was part of her family. 

I spent the next day telling Gus about Justin. Gus was one person that I trusted with my secrets. Of course it helped that he couldn't talk yet beyond Mom, Dada, and Mama. It felt good to talk to someone about Justin, even if Spongebob was all Gus really cared about. When Gus went to sleep I stood at the window each night, waiting, but Justin never showed up. I'd never been happy to send Gus home, but I needed to go see why Justin hadn’t showed up. When they got back Lindsay tried to stick around to talk, but left when I told her I needed to go.

Justin’s house was easy to find, only the person who answered the door wasn’t Justin.  He stared me up and down, then opened the door to let me in.

“He's being impossible. I'm Ben by the way.” He tells me, leading me to another door. “Hopefully he'll listen to you.” He said, walking off.

I walked into the room, looking at Justin sitting at a desk, his hands flying over a keyboard. The only real thing I saw was the bags under his eyes. Eyes that he had a hard time keeping open. He skin was almost gray, and he never looked up; as if he didn’t hear or see anything but what he was doing. It pissed me off that whoever this Ben was, he didn’t do anything when it was obvious Justin was running on fumes. I went to find Ben, to demand to know how he could let Justin get to this point. 

“What the hell is going on with him?” I ask.

“I don’t know what to do. Hell, I never know what to do when he gets like this.” Ben sighs.

“You get him out of that chair and make him stop. It’s simple, but it’s obvious you don’t give a shit about him.” I tell him.

“My job is to provide what he needs, something I was hired to do. So you're right, I don’t give a shit about anything else that doesn’t have to do with my job. It’s not like anyone can deal with him, or that he gives anyone a reason to want to deal with him.” Ben tells me, shaking his head when I glared at him. “I’ve tried, but the way he looks through people, barely speaking, it just works better to leave him alone.” 

“Did you ever even try to figure out why he might be like that?” I ask, not liking that Justin had people around him like Ben.

“No, why would I? He’s strange.” Ben said, looking uncomfortable.

“Strange? Or maybe it’s just hard for him to talk to people? Or could it be that he can tell what you really think of him and didn’t want to put himself out there when you judged him without knowing anything about why he would be the way he is.” I sneered.

“What do you know, other than that he watches you? Judge me all you want, but tell me what makes him the way he is. You don’t have a clue who he is, or why I don’t honestly even want to know anything about it.” Ben tells me.

“How do you know he watched me?” I ask.

“Look, I have things I need to do other than stand here waiting for Justin to finally fall over in his chair. Stay around him long enough and you’ll figure out you have better things to do too.” Ben said, avoiding my questions, while grabbing his things.

Ben slammed out the door, leaving me in the kitchen. I looked around for something to feed Justin before I made him go to sleep. I made him some food and walked back to the room he was still working in. I put the plate on his desk and went around to the side of his chair. Justin never looked at me, didn’t even seem to know I was next to him. I reached for his hands and put mine over them to stop him. He stilled, looking at my hands over his, almost as if he was confused at why he couldn’t move. I kept one hand over his and turned his face to mine, trying not to look worried at the glazed look in his eyes. 

“Brian?” He asked, like he wasn’t sure I was really here.

“It’s time to stop.” I tell him.

“I want it to stop, but it won’t.” Justin slurred.

“How can I help it stop?” I ask.

“You make it stop. Only… Jul… the noise.” Justin barely managed to get out.

He didn’t resist when I pulled him out of the chair, and I doubt he could, when I had to hold him up to just to get him to the couch in front of his desk. I helped him sit down, planning on getting the plate to make him eat, but even sitting up was to hard for him. Sleep seemed to be more important, so I sat down and made him lay down with his head towards me. He wouldn’t close his eyes, just kept looking at me. 

“I’ll stay, but you need to sleep right now.” I tell him.

It was all he seemed to need to close his eyes. I ran my hands across his cheek, wanting him to know I was still there. When his body relaxed I pulled a pillow over and put it under his head, then went to find a blanket because he was shivering, likely because his body wasn’t regulating his temperature, too exhausted to do what it should. Once the shivering subsided, I put the sandwich in the refrigerator, thinking Justin needed more than a cold sandwich. Even though I didn’t want to do it, I needed help. So I called Emmett.

“I need you to come to me and help me with something.” I tell him.

“Sure.” Emmett said, not even asking what.

Justin slept through Emmett’s arrival. And when I explained to him about Justin likely not eating in days, he went to the kitchen and started cooking. I went back to check on Justin. I didn’t even try to figure out what Justin was doing on the computer, none of it made sense to me. I looked around his house, just seeing basic things, no pictures, nothing that said anything about Justin. 

“Is he okay?” Emmett asked, looking worried when the noise in the kitchen would wake up a normal person.

“I don’t know. When I got here it he was working, although he was barely awake. I had to make him lay down.” I tell him.

“I know you hate explaining anything but…” Emmett left it up to me if I wanted to explain anything.

“I barely know him.” I tell him.

“But you’re here anyway.” Emmett points out.

“I don’t think he has anyone in his life, and for some reason I want to be someone he has.” I tell him.

“Brian, take this as me trying to be a friend, and listen to me. You do this, you see people who need a hero and try to help them. Only it causes problems, because people… Michael, misinterpret it to mean more than it is. It sounds like Justin might too.” Emmett tells me.

“Only he’d have been happy to keep doing what we were doing before we met.” I tell him.

“Which is? I know... none of my business.” Emmett says, willing to let it go.

“At first I didn’t know what he was doing. Just that he would sit across the street from the loft and watch me, but eventually he followed me to Babylon, just watching me. For a while I left it alone, but something about him made me want to know why he was doing it.” I tell him.

“Did you find out?” Emmett asked.

“Yes. But it’s something only for him and me to know.” I tell him.

“Do you want me to stay and help you with him?” Emmett asks.

“He doesn’t have an easy time talking to people.” I tell him.

“Can he talk to you?” Emmett asks.

“More or less, but we get each other.” I tell him.

“Call if you need me. And yes, I know, I wasn’t here and I know absolutely nothing.” Emmett tells me, heading for the door.

I ended up back on the couch when Justin got restless in his sleep. Eventually I moved him around so I could lay down, with him curled up on my chest. It wasn’t the most comfortable position for me, since I didn’t like people touching me when I slept, but it kept Justin asleep. Eventually I slept too.

JUSTIN

I thought I was dreaming, because it was the one where I heard Brian breathing with me. Only my bed was normally less lumpy, and I wasn’t exhausted like I always am. I opened my eyes, recognizing my couch but not the body underneath me. When I realized it was Brian, I rolled off the couch and hit the floor. Where the hell did Brian come from? I don’t even remember anything past Julian handing me a folder and telling me it was time to stop fucking around.

I looked around and I was in my office, but it didn’t explain how Brian was here. My stomach growled the way it does when I forget everything, and Brian leaned over, looking at me.

“I had dinner for you but you seemed to need sleep more.” Brian says, as if it was normal for him to be in my house.

“How…?” I barely got out.

“How long did you sleep?” Brian asks, looking at his watch. “Twelve hours. How about I help you up and you can ask questions after you eat.” He said when I looked confused.

I was confused. Twelve hours wasn’t something I’d ever managed, even when I was child. He continued to talk as if he knew what I wanted to ask.

“I might have pissed that guy Ben off when I showed up, wanting to know why he let you get this exhausted. If he’s the one taking care of you, it’s time to fire him.” Brian said, helping me to a chair in the kitchen. “Since I’m not a cook at all, dinner it is.” Brian said putting a plate in the microwave.

“I… I don’t… don’t remember.” I said, hating the way I couldn’t just say what I wanted.

“How could you? You worked yourself to exhaustion. I’ve done the same thing, and it takes days to get over it.” He says, getting the food out and putting it in front of me. I hated the worry in his eyes. 

“Why didn’t you sleep?” He asks.

“I’ve never been good at it.” I said, looking at the table.

“Didn’t it drive your parents crazy?” He asks.

“No.” I answered, since they would have had to be there for it to drive them crazy.

“Justin, nothing you say to me will change that I want to know you. If it will help, I’ll tell you about my life.” He tells me.

“Why?” I ask, when I didn’t know if I could do the same.

“Because I have a feeling knowing about it wouldn’t change how you see me.” He tells me.

I listened as he told me about his parents and what they were like. And about how he made the decision that the only person he could depend on was himself. That he believed for most of his life, just like I did, that being alone was all he could expect, and he let himself believe it was what he wanted.

“Only it changed the night you sat across the street watching me. Knowing you were there made it seem like there was someone there willing to share what he could with me, so we could both be less alone in this world.” He tells me.

“I don’t have parents. At least none that I know about.” I tell him, waiting for him to ask what I expected by telling anyone.

“And I had shitty parents. So either way, we were both pretty much parentless.” He said, instead of asking what happened to me.

I wanted to tell him, only because he didn’t ask. “I only stayed in foster care until they tested me and found out I wasn’t behind, but at a level that most children don’t reach until they graduate high school. They thought I was slow because I didn’t talk or answer. Until a student teacher was sitting next to me doing his homework, giving up on me when I wouldn’t answer his questions. I watched him get frustrated when he couldn’t solve the statistics problem he was working on, and took his pencil and wrote it out for him. Then they wanted me to show them what I could do. They didn’t bother to ask anymore, just put problem after problem in front of me. I could see the numbers in my head, and they made sense when nothing else did.” I said, looking at Brian to see his reaction to it.

“They wanted you to perform for them.” Brian figured out.

“They wanted me to perform and speak, which didn’t work for me. It was just, what I could say didn’t make sense to most people, and I hated feeling like I was doing something wrong because I didn’t know how to relate to people the way I could with numbers.” I tell him.

“So you gave them what it took to make them leave you alone.” Brian tells me, as if it’s what he did too.

“Yes.” 

“You decided being alone was easier. Being alone was what you were supposed to be.” He tells me.

“Yes.” 

“But being alone isn’t easy, no matter what we tried to tell ourselves. It’s why I watched you walk by every night. It’s why I stayed at the window when you looked up. Because I couldn’t lie anymore and tell myself that I wanted to be alone.” Brian tells me.

“I don’t know how not to be.” I told him.

“By letting me help you. We can do this together.” He tells me.

“There are people that watch me.” I tell him, since he needed to know.

“Why?” He asks.

“To keep me from doing anything but what they want from me.” I tell him.

“Then we let them try to stop you. Which apparently is a hard thing to do when you really want to do something.” Brian says, worried even when he smiled.

“If it becomes too much, I’ll understand.” I tell him.

“Is there something we need to worry about?” Brian asked.

“No.” I lied.

Brian didn’t say anything, but I needed to him to leave it alone until I figured out what Julian would do when I didn’t dance to his tune anymore. He liked playing with other people’s lives and I’m the one who gave him the toys he uses to play with. To keep Brian safe, I’d turn his life into a toy and spin Julian’s life out of control. Only right now Julian was safe. Until he made me show him what I could really do for someone who meant something to me.

JULIAN

I looked at Ben, disappointed in him. He only had one job to do- keep Justin in line. Instead he’s here, telling me he left Brian Kinney to deal with Justin. I wasn’t sure how I felt about Justin’s interest in the man. Maybe it was knowing that nothing about me caught Justin’s interest, but some Ad hack did. The reports that started flooding my desk about Justin’s nocturnal activities were alarming, when for years the reports on what he did when he wasn’t working were barely a paragraph. 

I didn’t think much of the reports of Justin’s walks, or even the ones about him sitting for an hour or two by himself. Since normally when people came near Justin, he would leave. I found that out when I tried to sit with him at the water. He opened his eyes, stared through me, and left as if he didn’t want me around. I could live with his lack of interest, since no one seemed to register to Justin. I can’t even say I had any real feelings about Justin, he really wasn’t my type. Only I was fucking jealous at the idea that it wasn’t that he was oblivious, just that I wasn’t interesting enough for him. People got down on their knees for my attention. Which made me think Brian and I had that in common. What we didn’t have in common was that Justin didn’t ignore Brian the way he does me and anyone else around him. I looked at Ben, knowing most men stopped when he passed by, and wondering why I thought Ben could get Justin’s attention. Ben was intelligent, well read, and put people at ease when they met him, only it didn’t work with Justin. 

“Care to explain why you couldn’t do your job? Not that I’ve been happy with anything you’ve done involving Justin.” I said, letting Ben squirm under my stare.

“What was I supposed to do? What Brian suggested, yank him away from his work? You want Justin working, so I didn’t bother to stop him. Truthfully I think leaving the guy to see what Justin’s like will get him go away on his own.” Ben tells me.

“Justin really bothers you doesn’t he? You’ve spent your life feeling like the top of the food chain in intelligence, and finding out that compared to Justin, your scraping the bottom of the barrel. You shouldn’t have felt so inadequate, but instead been amazed by the fact that you were allowed to witness someone so extraordinary.” I tell him.

“I’m not jealous of him. There's nothing to admire about Justin. If you asked half the people that have met him, they’d laugh at the idea that there was anything extraordinary about him. He can’t even make eye contact, and mumbles things no one understands. You couldn’t take him anywhere for fear he’d have people questioning you for bringing him.” Ben says, like it made him better than Justin.

And I saw it, the way Justin saw it in me; Ben hated that Justin was important to me. He hated the idea that Justin held my attention. It was my mistake for letting Ben in my bed in order to get him to watch over Justin for me. Only now I was on the other side, with an opponent who wasn’t going to slink silently away, because Justin interested him.

“I need you to give me a reason not to send you back to your dreary existence.” I tell him, wanting to roll my eyes when lust filled his eyes. “I need to know about Brian Kinney. What motivates him, and how to get him to leave Justin alone.” I tell him.

“What do you expect me to be able to find out that your people couldn’t?” Ben asks.

“My people can tell me what he does, what he eats or won’t eat, but they can’t tell me exactly who I’m dealing with. Find a way into Brian Kinney’s world. Then find something I can use to get rid of him.” I tell Ben.

“How?” Ben asks.

“Unlike Justin, Brian has people in his life. Find a way through them. If I have to tell you how to do it, then maybe you’re as useless as I’m beginning to believe you are.” I snap.

BRIAN 

I didn’t want to leave, worried that if I did, I’d come back to find him the way I found him yesterday. He kept saying what he was doing was almost finished, and I made him promise to call me if he needed me. It wasn’t until I got home that I really thought about Justin saying people watched him. I knew he lied when he told me there was nothing to worry about, and could tell pushing for the answer wouldn’t get one. It was just, what does Justin do that would require people to watch him? 

Thinking about what Emmett said, I knew part of it was wanting Justin to know he had someone if he needed me. But it wasn’t the same as it was with Mikey. I had to pretty much force my way into Justin’s life, when he seemed to only want to be outside of it. It wasn’t the same, because I wanted Justin to know he would be the one I went to when I needed someone. It’s why I told him about my family, because for once I knew he wouldn’t see it as a sob story, it was just what made me who I was. I had no plan to be his hero, but just be there to do what he did for me, let me know someone was there when it felt like no one understood me.

I got up, deciding it was time to show my face after Mikey had time to deal with knowing we’d only ever be friends. When I got to the diner everything was normal. The guys were sitting at a booth with Deb talking their ears off. Emmett looked at me, as if asking how it went and I nodded to him, then returned his attention to the conversation at the table. I sat next to Mikey, while Deb ran to get me coffee.

“Michael met someone.” Deb tells me, handing me my coffee.

“He was just talking to us.” Mikey blows off.

“He might have started talking to us, but he spent the whole night wanting to know about you.” Emmett tells us, as Mikey blushes.

“I would have wanted to do more than talk to the guy. The man was built in all the right places, wasn’t he Michael?” Ted teases.

“It doesn’t matter, he left without even asking to see me again.” Mikey tells me.

“Where did you meet him?” I ask, since this was the most interest Mikey’s ever shown in a guy.

“At Woody’s. He invited us to play a game of pool, then spent the rest of the night with Michael.” Emmett tells me, when Mikey fiddled with his glass.

“I think he was just looking for someone to talk to, I think he’s new around here.” Mikey dismisses.

“Michael, he listened to your entire life story. I think it was more than hoping for the insider scoop of Liberty Avenue.” Emmett tells him.

“I guess. Maybe you could come out with us and tell me what you think.” Mikey suggests.

“We can go tonight, unless something comes up.” I tell him, knowing if Justin called Mikey would have to wing it alone tonight.

Mikey looked like he wanted to argue, but instead started making plans for the night. I got up to get some work done, before we met up. Emmet left behind me, following me to my car. I didn’t stop him, because he was now someone I could tell about Justin.

“Did he eat?” Emmett asks.

“Yes, and I’m sure he’d want to thank you, but I didn’t tell him you were there.” I tell him.

“Would that have been a problem?” Emmett asks.

“Justin is just... shy, for lack of a better word. Painfully shy if you want the truth. From what little he told me, he grew up feeling isolated. It’s why I don’t want to bring to many people around him unless he wants them to be there.” I tell him.

“You want me to understand and not overwhelm him with all that’s me.” Emmett jokes.

“I need someone I can call to check on him, if I can’t be there. What I didn’t tell you was finding him not just hungry, but exhausted. He gets lost in what he does and needs to be pulled away from it. Only right now, he might not respond to you, but you’ll be able to tell me if I need to get to him.” I tell him.

“You’re that worried about him, but you just met him?” Emmett asks.

“It doesn’t seem to matter that we just met. I feel different when I’m with him.” I tell Emmett.

“Are you interested in him?” Emmett asks.

I parked the car and got out without answering. Of course I was, it was in everything I’d been doing from the moment we shared a night watching each other. Only Justin wasn’t ready for me to be more than a friend. Emmett followed me up to the loft, then sat around while I worked on ideas for a campaign. It took everything in me to keep my mind on work, and not to call Justin. I typed up my ideas and sent them to Cynthia, realizing even I lost track of time. Emmett was in the bathroom getting ready and I realized he’d left and came back while I was working. My phone stayed silent, and not wanting to crowd Justin, I got dressed to check out Mikey’s new interest.

Ted and Mikey were sitting at a table in the back of Woody’s when I got there. I looked around, not really interested in the men eyeing me. I got the idea that Justin wouldn’t really care if I did trick, but tonight I really didn’t want to. Emmett and Ted were joking around while Mikey would try to pretend he wasn’t watching the door. By nine, none of us wanted to stay waiting around with Mikey. Mikey told us he would catch up with us later, so we left. I wanted to tell him to make the guy work for his attention. I trailed behind Emmett and Ted, giving in to the need to hear from Justin. The phone rang with no answer, I texted him, hoping he’d see it and text me back. 

“Michael really seems interested.” Emmett commented.

“Ben would interest most guys.” Ted says looking at me.

“Ben?” I ask.

“That’s the name he told us, why?” Emmett asks.

“Just a name that I’ve heard before. I need to go.” I tell them.

“Call if you need me.” Emmett tells me, yanking Ted off with him.

I went back to Woody’s, hoping I was wrong. But not knowing if it meant anything if this Ben was the Ben from Justin’s house. Mikey was still sitting in the same place, looking miserable by himself. I didn’t go over to see him, instead wanting to see Justin right now.

JUSTIN

I got up from my desk, looking to see what time it was. I’d been doing the work Julian demanded, to keep him from showing up. He’d emailed me, saying he’d be at my door if I didn’t get what he needed done. I stood in the shower, planning to go sit by the water instead of looking for Brian. Only I was never really alone when I went there. I didn’t want to sit at my window. I just wanted a place I could go since I slept so much that I knew it would be hard to even try again. I didn’t want to deal with Julian right now by going near Brian. 

Brian was about to knock when I opened my front door. He studied my face, before saying anything.

“Were you going somewhere?” He asks.

It was an easy question, something I’m sure most people could answer without a problem. Only what I needed was to be able to clear my head. I didn’t want to talk right now.

“I can go.” Brian offered.

“I… it’s just… I need a place where I can just… not have to do anything.” I said, worried.

“Like the place by the water?” He asks.

“It just has to be… without a lot of people around. ” I tell him.

“Including me?” He asks.

“No. But talking… it’s too much.” I tell him, looking at my shoes.

Brian lifted my head to look at him. Something that would have irritated me if anyone else did it.

“You said people watch you, do they when you go there?” Brian asks.

“They’re somewhere… I ignore it.” I tell him.

“I have somewhere they can’t go.” Brian tells me.

“You don’t have to…”

“I want to. Even if we just sit, not saying anything to each other. I need to ask you something, but it can wait if you don’t want to talk right now.” Brian tells me.

“I don’t.” I tell him, since he seemed okay with it.

We got in Brian’s car, and he drove us through the busiest parts of Pittsburgh, places I avoided.  Only stopping at a store and running in before coming out with a couple bags. He didn’t give me a clue what he was doing. The next stop was his place, I wasn’t sure why he thought this would work. Brian’s loft to me wasn’t what I needed. It made my mind go crazy, seeing it didn’t represent the Brian I knew. 

“Trust me.” Brian said opening his door. 

He handed me the bags from the store and grabbed blankets and pillows, before pulling me out of the loft, and locking his door. I followed him up the stairs that led to the roof, and stood like an idiot while he arranged the blankets. It was dark, up away from all the lights, and I closed my eyes, letting him do what he was doing.

“Lay down with me.” Brian said, breaking the silence around us.

At first I was on the edge of the blankets, sitting stiffly. Brian didn’t say anything, just held out a hand. I stared at it as if I didn’t know what it was, but slowly reached for him. He didn’t pull me, but let me move on my own. I started on my back looking up into the night, not closing my eyes because seeing the endless sky was enough for me. Brian was on his side, and when I looked over at him, he had his eyes closed. It made it easier for me to turn towards him. He didn’t open his eyes when I put my head on his pillow, or when I leaned my forehead to touch his. I studied what little I could see of his face. And did something I never thought I would. I touched my lips to his, just to know what it felt like to kiss someone. 

BRIAN 

It was such a nothing thing when he pressed his lips to mine. He didn’t explore, just touched his lips to mine before turning on his back and looking back at the stars over our heads. I didn’t ask him why he did it. I didn’t want him to think he did something wrong. I didn’t open my eyes, not wanting him to worry about my reaction to what he did. We laid there for another hour before he said anything. After the silence, it made his raspy voice sound louder, even though he whispered.

“I was asked once what it was like in my head; why I got lost in the things I do. I didn’t answer because I didn’t know how to describe it.” He tells me.

“You don’t have to, I don’t need to know.” I tell him.

“It’s the only real... personal thing I can tell you. Everything I see is like a maze; my mind has to follow every part of it, go down the wrong way and then it reboots to the start, rerunning everything, looking for a pattern that leads to the right way. I can see where someone would go and how to catch them before they get to what they were looking for. Because no matter how good you are, you bump into the wrong places on your way to the right one. My eyes stop seeing anything because my mind shows me the things my eyes can’t see. When people talk to me or ask a question, I have a hard time answering, because in my head I’m running through a maze to give the right answer.” He said, as if he thought of the answer years ago but I was the first person he told.

“By the time you come up with the answer, they walk away.” I tell him.

“Or I say something that makes them want to get away from me.” He tells me.

“You can say whatever you want, I promise to stay.” I tell him.

“He wants me to stay away from you.” He tells me.

“Who?” I ask.

“My boss, Julian.” He tells me.

“Why would your boss care if we spend time together?” I ask.

“I don’t know. Before, he never really cared what I was doing. It’s not like I didn’t walk around… I just never… stopped before.” He tells me.

“If he had people watching you, he didn’t need to bother, unless you did something different from before.” I tell him.

“I watched people, not the way I did with you, just seeing what… families were like.” He tells me, looking out into the night.

“But you didn’t interact with them, I’m assuming?” I asked.

Justin took a minute before answering, “They didn’t do anything to interest me.” He tells me.

“What did I do other than stand there?” I asked.

“You did the same thing I do sometimes, stare out at the world... just to see if there is something more. After I left, because it was the first time I slept, it made me come back again, to see if I could sleep again.” He tells me.

“Even though you said there was nothing we should worry about, I’m good at reading people.” I tell him, not wanting him to sense how it felt for me to hear what he just said.

“I don’t know why Julian would care about you… He never acted like there was anything other than a work relationship between us… It’s not even like anything I do for him isn’t something he could get someone else to do for him… Until the night I left you with your friends, other than invitations to dine with him, nothing… But the way he looked at me that night, it reminded me of the way one of your friends looked at you… It confused me, because I always felt like Julian barely knew I existed.” He tells me.

“Which one, which friend?” I ask.

“The younger brunet.” He tells me.

“Mikey wanted me for more than a friend. Justin, even if you don’t understand, there are people looking at you, I’ve seen it when you come to Babylon. They notice you, only to have you walk by like they aren’t even in the same room with you. What changed was that for once you didn’t ignore someone. Me. If he’d been waiting for you to in essence wake up and show him you wanted more, it wouldn’t have made him happy that it wasn’t him.” I tell him.

“It’s not like you… I… we’re not...” He stumbled along, going silent to avoid saying what he was thinking.

“I need to ask you about Ben.” I tell him, since I didn’t have an answer to what we were yet.

“What about him? I really don’t know him that well. Julian hired him to show up and do the things I forget about.” He tells me, relieved to get off the subject.

“I don’t know for sure, but my friends met a Ben last night. From what it sounds like, he spent the whole night talking up one of them. If it’s not the same Ben then it could mean nothing, but if it is…”

“Why is he around your friends?” He says, finishing my thought.

BEN

Sitting in my car talking to my real boss saved me from having to explain why I was getting cozy with Brian’s friends. I was waiting to see if Michael showed up, and stopped long enough to explain what Julian wanted me to do. When I hung up Brian was walking in with Emmett, and so I didn’t go in. At first I was going to leave, but Julian wouldn’t be patient, so I waited and saw Brian leave before going in to find Michael. Michael was still sitting in the bar long after his friends left him there. After talking to the three of them the night before, I knew Michael was the one to use, because what he said without me having to ask was about Brian. Every other sentence included Brian, only none of it was what Julian wanted, and I was relieved. I didn’t want to help the bastard, I wanted to see him behind bars. Julian managed to find a way out of anything he did. He didn’t murder people, but he turned them into his tools to do his dirty work. If they were caught, they were hung out to dry, never willing to take Julian down with them. I was tired of seeing people let their lives be ruined because whatever Julian had on them scared them more than what we would do. 

Everything pointed to Justin Taylor, because Julian guarded him like a prize possession. Julian was right to see Justin that way, because so did many others once they figured out what they missed by dismissing the boy who couldn’t talk. Justin had no clue how many people really watched him, trying to figure out a way to use him. I wasn’t any better, because I was trying to find something to use against Julian, only Justin closed himself off the day we met. In everything I read about Justin, I didn’t read that even though it seemed like he had problems with understanding people, he could see more than he probably realized. He saw straight through the charm I threw at him, and slid walls down to block anything I tried. 

My bosses were thrilled when Julian took the bait and allowed me in, and they were dancing when Julian hired me to be Justin’s assistant. Only they didn’t count on the fact that Justin didn’t leave things lying around; no folder with information, no notes on the inner working of Julian’s empire. They also didn’t get that Justin wasn’t some desperate, lonely man, who would respond just because someone was offering. It’s still a mystery to all of us what caused Brian to register with Justin. They had nothing in common. Brian’s life was about being seen and living large. I’d seen Brian many times before Justin found him, and everything about him was the opposite of Justin. Julian might want Brian out of the picture, but the rest of us wanted him in. He had gotten past the fortress and into the castle. Julian couldn’t see that Brian’s threat was more than Justin’s growing interest, it was that Brian fights with everything he has to hold on to the people who mean something to him. 

I spent a lot of time trying to explain why we weren’t any closer to any of our goals. Justin didn’t need to write anything down, everything was there inside his head. He didn’t see any reason to share something with me, because he saw me as a nuisance to ignore. I went out of my way to act like everyone else did when it came to Justin, but the truth was I was in awe of the way Justin’s mind worked. But because of it, we had no way to find anything on Julian. Even the work he sent Justin wasn’t anything illegal, and Julian had every right to know what the people were doing in his systems. If we could get the people to talk to us, Justin wouldn’t need to be involved. Which was a lie, because my bosses wanted Justin more than they cared about Julian. They recognized what Justin could do and what it would mean to our country. Justin could not only find what someone did, but how to catch them before they tried again. Julian had what the FBI, NSA, CIA, really any agency in the world, needed. And they would kill to have him on their team, only Julian found him first. No one even registered that Justin was capable of more, because he isn't showing off what he can do the way most people as brilliant as he is would. He just plodded along, trying to be left alone. It’s still unknown how Julian got Justin to work for him.

I knew Julian used it to get favors, or to get someone else to do his dirty work. Which really wasn’t any different than what my bosses would use Justin to do, and then use what he found in the same way as Julian does. We justify it as helping our country, but in the end we wouldn’t be any better. I was determined not to let anyone use Justin once Julian’s empire collapsed. How to accomplish it? I didn’t know. I just knew that I didn’t want Justin to be used by anyone. I wanted him to have more in life. Even though Brian wasn’t exactly someone I would think was a great idea, he was still someone who like me, who would protect the people he cared about.

So I approached Michael, in order to find a way to keep Brian safe for Justin. I did care, no matter what I had to do to make Justin and Brian believe I didn’t.

“Hey, I guess we meet again.” Michael said, trying to sound like he hadn’t been sitting here for hours waiting.

“I enjoyed spending time with you, and hoped to run into you.” I tell him, hoping Michael would continue to spew useless information.

“I’m supposed to meet up with my friends but…”

“Or we could take a walk and get to know each other, maybe you could tell me more about you and what you like outside of your friends.” I tell him.

JUSTIN

I started fidgeting after Brian handed me snacks from the bags we had with us. He pulled out drinks and food, arranging it like a picnic. It gave me time to think again, and I kept waiting for him to ask me why I kissed him. And I realized when we were talking earlier that I didn’t stumble as much because I kept waiting for him to bring up what I did. It really wasn’t what I thought it would be, just skin against skin. I’d read books about romance and love, but somehow I didn’t get how anyone wanted someone’s tongue in their mouth, or how it led to ripping off clothes, and well, all the other stuff that I skipped over when the mechanics of it sometimes sounded impossible. I didn’t feel anything, other than that he was warm.

“What are you thinking about?” Brian asked.

Once again I was flustered. How do you tell someone what I was thinking when I watched men throw themselves at Brian? It was likely that I was lacking, not him. I stopped and decided to trust him, that nothing I would say would change anything.

“Kissing wasn’t what I thought.” It was simple and direct, and he smiled, so all good.

“Depends on how you do it, and who it’s with for most people.” He said, rolling his lips like he was trying not to laugh at me.

“Why would anyone use their tongue, do you know how many germs…?” I didn’t finish because he did laugh.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just normally when you get to the tongue, no one really cares what germs are there.” Brian said, trying not to keep laughing at me.

Only I didn’t feel like he was laughing at me. More like he was seeing the humor in my confusion.

“It’s just skin, saliva, and sounds strange to me.” I tell him, picking up the drink and fidgeting with the label for something to do.

Brian took the drink out of my hand, then tilted my head so I would look at him. 

“You don’t have to do it.” I told him, when he looked into my eyes for permission to show me what I didn’t understand.

“I want to show you, but not if you don’t want to know.” He tells me.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because no one should live without knowing what books can’t tell you.” He said, sealing his lips over mine.

His tongue traced my closed lips and I opened them, shutting out everything but the feeling of what he was doing. I didn’t even notice when we ended up laying down with him over me. All I could do was feel the way his tongue explored, tangling with mine. The way he moved over me, his hands massaging my head as his mouth moved, was something no book ever could explain. When he leaned his head on mine, I wanted his mouth back where it was.

“We need to slow down.” Brian said, out of breath. And I felt what the kiss did to both of us.

Brian moved off me, laying on his back staring up into the night. I was going to leave, but he reached for my hand and put it over his chest, where I felt his heart racing.

“Does it always feel like that?” I asked, not just about what we did, but what he did with other men.

“It’s never felt like that.” Brian said after a couple minutes. “When your ready, I’d like to know what that feels like too.” Brian said, as if there would be something different than what he knew.

JUSTIN

Brian stayed up most of the night with me, then eventually fell asleep. He didn’t say anything when he woke up a few hours later to see me sitting up watching the sun start to rise. I thought about leaving after he fell asleep, but stayed, letting myself believe this roof top was our private world. After he fell asleep I started wandering around the roof, thinking about my life. I never really did anything different. I worked, went for walks, and most places I stopped were the same places I’d stopped for years. Places where there weren’t many people to bother me. Basically living a life that, if I disappeared one day, no one would notice. They wouldn’t know to notice, because the reality was I lived like a ghost. I thought it was what I wanted, and maybe it was when people backed away from me. Thinking of the foster homes I was in, the people who took me in weren’t the nightmares that get reported, they were people who tried. But I didn’t give them a chance because I didn’t know how to get close to people. It wasn’t like they tossed me out, but I didn’t make it seem like I wanted to stay with them. 

“Are you hungry?” Brian asked, after we sat and watch the day start.

“Is there anything to eat in your kitchen?” I joked, and surprised myself that I did.

Brian tried not to smile, but I could tell he wanted to. “Believe it or not, yes. When you were working to the point of exhaustion, Gus was over. It’s why I didn’t see you sooner. But anyway, Lindsay brings food over, not just for me but for Gus. Her girlfriend likes to joke that I agreed to Gus so Lindsay could mother both of us. That helped my relationship with Mel, who for years hated that Lindsay included me in her life.” Brian tells me, and I got that he was telling me things, things to explain the people in his life.

“That’s how it sometimes seems with Ben, like he’s, I guess trying to be a parent to a child.” I tell him.

“It’s bothering you about Ben?” He asked.

“It really shouldn’t, it’s not like there’s any reason it should. At first he tried asking things, like what I was doing, acting interested when I could see he didn’t really understand. It’s just, even when I didn’t want him around, he was someone who could say I… existed. I never knew I cared if anyone knew.” I tell him.

“I know.” Brian said looking at me.

“It scared me... that you did.” I admitted.

“Why?” He asks.

“I wanted to be able to talk to you.” I tell him.

“You seem to be doing okay at talking to me.” He tells me.

“You make it easy, by not expecting more than I can say. You don’t push me for anything, unless I want to tell you. For the first time I don’t feel like anything I say would bother you.” I tell him.

“I like that you don’t talk unless you have something to say. When you do talk it’s honest, not words just to say them.” He tells me.

“Like your friends?” He asks.

“I doubt they even think about what comes out of their mouths. Nothing they say really means anything to them. Sometimes it’s just noise to fill in the silence, or they don’t say what they really want to.” He tells me.

“They still try, even when you don’t want them to. It’s more than most people have.” I tell him.

“I know they do, but eventually they’re going to get lives of their own. Trailing around me isn’t going to help them.” He tells me.

“Because you don’t see yourself having a life different from the one you have now?” I ask.

BRIAN

I thought about that question, because I knew eventually my life would be different. I’d get older and the admiration would wane until I’d just be that guy who everyone used to want. It was shallow, but it was the truth. I liked being the guy everyone wanted.

“Because eventually I won’t be the guy everyone wants, just a has been. The things that kept my friends around me wouldn’t be there anymore.” I tell him.

“You think they really only stay around because of the attention they get from being your friend?” Justin asks.

“No. I know they aren’t really like that, but it made it easier than letting them in. I knew that when I called Emmett to help me at your house he wouldn’t ask why I wanted him to help, he’d just show up. Mikey’s mother would have asked, and it would have been out of concern. I chose Emmett because I didn’t want to overwhelm you.” I tell him.

“Which one is Emmett?” Justin asks.

“The tall one. He’s flamboyant as hell, but overall a good person. You’d probably like him, he wouldn’t care if you talked, since it would let him talk your ears off.” I said, smiling at how that conversation would go.

At the growl of Justin’s stomach we both laughed. “Let’s go see what Lindsay left.” I tell him, as we gathered everything. 

Justin trailed behind me, and I hated that I would need to go to work today. I wanted to spend more time with Justin. It was the thought that got halted when my loft door was open instead of locked. Justin looked worried until we heard Gus fussing. I went straight in to see Mel looking frazzled and Lindsay cooking in the kitchen.

“Sorry, I know you have to go to work but Gus has been fussy all night, and I didn’t want to take him to daycare like this. I figured he might calm down if he saw you.” Lindsay tells me, before looking in the doorway. “Oh, shit we didn’t think you would be busy.” 

“Sonny Boy, what did the mean women do to you?” I asked, going to take him from Mel.

“The mean women stayed up half the night.” Mel says teasingly, looking at Justin who stood at the door.

“Justin, these are my lesbians. Girls, Justin.” I said, while Gus still wouldn’t settle down.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Lindsay said, looking at me, since I didn’t introduce people to Gus.

Justin stared at Gus, and I walked over to show him what seemed to interest him. Gus’s eyes were red, he looked ready to scream until he saw Justin, and didn’t wail but looked at the new person. Gus never met a stranger, because we were careful about who we allowed around him and because of that Gus only saw people who were supposed to give him attention. He held out his arms towards Justin, and he didn’t shy away, but took Gus from me. I managed to get him in the door and to the couch, still having a staring contest with Gus. For the first time I saw an unguarded smile come from Justin, but really, my Sonny Boy could do that to anyone.

“Brian can you help me in the kitchen?” Lindsay said, not doing well at hiding that something was bothering her.

“If he wants down, let him.” I tell Justin.

“I can go.” Justin whispered.

“Or stay and let them deal with it, for showing up without calling.” I tell him, wanting to kiss him but knowing it would make him uncomfortable.

Lindsay was waiting with Mel when I walked over. They were whispering to each other but stopped as soon as I got over to them.

“I know we came over without telling you, but I thought we all agreed about well, tricks.” Lindsay said, trying not to sound upset.

“Like I just told Lindsay, you wouldn’t let a trick near Gus. But we are curious, since we’ve never seen him before.” Mel tells me.

I found myself having to explain, because they would have to get used to Justin. Truthfully Lindsay and Mel might be easier for Justin to get to know. I wanted Justin to feel included in my life, and not just the part that was only him and me. I hoped to give him the family that he never had. It was just he might not be ready for all of them, but we had to start somewhere. I wanted him to know that he wouldn’t disappear from the world without more than me or Ben knowing it. When he said that, all I wanted was to give him the things he didn’t think he’d have.

“Right now, he’s a friend, eventually I don’t know what he’ll be.” I tell them.

“Does he talk?” Mel whispered.

“When he has something to say.” I tell her.

“That will be different.” Mel jokes.

Mel and Lindsay didn’t ask any more questions when Gus and Justin giggled together. Gus’s thrill at whatever Justin was whispering to him lifted the doubts the girls had about the new guy. They tried not to interrogate Justin, but this was new territory for them. Only, Mel asked the right questions about what Justin did for a living, and he didn’t have a problem telling them.

“I find the people who hack into systems for my boss and shut them down.” Justin tells Mel.

“Computer genius. We could use one of those. Somehow no matter how many virus protectors we buy, our computer gets filled with them.” Lindsay tells him.

“Computer viruses change and mutate, just like all viruses. Hackers continue to find a way to get what they want.” Justin tells her.

“What got you involved with computers?” Mel asks.

I almost tried to tell the girls to back off, but Justin didn’t seem to mind answering when Mel seemed to really want to know.

“I like numbers and solving things, when I’m searching for what the person did, I’m also looking for a pattern to their work. Most people don’t start by hacking big corporations, they start small, seeing if they can get away with it, but they stick to the same patterns. My boss hired me because I can see the patterns, but I agreed because it was something I could do without people around me.” Justin tells her.

“Do you ever look to see if something the hacker did caused others to suffer?” Mel asks.

Justin smiled at Mel, as if she asked him something he didn’t expect. “Yes. And I make sure someone knows where to find the person and the money.”

“Does Julian know you do that?” I ask.

“He doesn’t care, as long as I do what he wants.” Justin tells me.

“Who’s Julian?” Mel asks.

“My boss, Julian Yates.” Justin said, noticing Lindsay’s reaction. “You know him?” Justin asks her.

“Of him. My family would love to say they were friends. I always got the feeling that unless he saw a reason to use you, he didn’t bother with you.” Lindsay tells him.

“We need to get going, or we’ll be late to work. It was nice to meet you, maybe you and Brian could have dinner with us one night, since Gus seems to like you.” Mel said, getting their things.

“I need to get to work too.” I tell Justin.

“I should go home anyway.” Justin tells me.

“I’ll call you and we can do something later.” I tell him.

“Okay.” Justin says, walking out the door, leaving me with Mel and Lindsay, who were no longer in a hurry to leave.

“Is this why you haven’t been out with everyone lately?” Lindsay asks.

“Lindsay.” Mel said, hoping to stop her.

“He has a hard time with too many people. I don’t want him to feel like he has deal with anyone if he isn’t ready.” I tell her.

“He did okay with us and Gus.” Lindsay tells me.

“Imagine what it would be like with the guys and Deb. Right now he’s comfortable with me, and I don’t want to give him a reason to be uncomfortable.” I tell them.

“Why would he be? And take this as me wanting to help you.” Mel tells me.

“He’s lived most of his life without many people in it. Somehow he connected to me, and in turn I saw in him what he was seeing in me. I like being with him, getting to know him. But he needs time to get comfortable with people.” I tell them.

“You care that much about him?” Lindsay asks.

“He makes me want things I didn’t know I wanted.” I tell her.

“We’ll help in any way you need us to.” Mel tells me. 

“Sonny Boy, Dada has to go to work, and you have to go to baby prison.” I said, to avoid anymore talk.

“It’s day care, Kinney.” Mel complained, dragging Lindsay behind her.

“We like him.” Lindsay shouted.

I thought, I like him too, only it was going to a place I’ve never been with anyone. Which meant figuring out what Julian’s problem was and how it involved Ben.

JUSTIN

I felt strange the whole way home. Nothing about me seems to bother Brian. If I had sat there and said nothing when Lindsay and Mel asked me questions, he would have been okay with it. Only, they were asking in order to get to know me, and for once I wanted to try. Brian was willing to do things he normally didn’t do, for me. I wanted to be able to do the same for him. Mel asked questions, listening to what I said and thought about what I did beyond what I said. It made me want to tell her because she really listened to me. It felt good, that was what it was.

My good mood disappeared when I saw Julian sitting on my steps. I really didn’t need a lecture from him. Once again I was confused when he started talking.

“Did you have a good night?” Julian asks, as if we were two friends meeting up.

“It was different.” I tell him, sitting next to him trying to figure out why he was acting like we ever talk.

“That’s good right, it means you’ve found someone to talk to? Although you have to understand my concern, which I expressed badly the last time we talked. Justin, it’s not that you might be interested in someone, it’s that you’re interested in a guy who is well known for jumping into bed with just anyone. He doesn’t have relationships, and his interest wanes after he gets what he wants from people. For you, it bothers me, because he could make you believe he wants more, only to toss you aside once he gets what he wants from you. Because of all the years I’ve known you, it concerns me because you don’t always see the real motives behind the things people do. Maybe I don’t help because I want to protect you from getting hurt. And yes I am jealous that you never looked at me that way, but in the end you mean a lot to me, and I only want what’s best for you.” He said, not sounding anything like the man I know.

He was speaking like we had a relationship that we didn’t have, one where he gave a shit about me. But Lindsay had said what I’ve always thought, that Julian only does something if it serves him in some way.

“Justin, in so many ways you’re like a child. You’ve never understood the games people play. For years I never worried that you could get hurt, because no one ever got through the wall you surround your life with, and if Brian was a different man, I would have reacted better when you started spending time with him. He’s ambitious, and will eventually move on, because he’s the kind of man that wants to prove to the world what he’s capable of, and when he leaves, you’ll just be the guy he once knew. I didn’t like what you were doing only because he’s just not going to be the person someone like you needs in their life. You don’t get close to people, but if you did, I hoped it would be someone who could see you for how extraordinary you really are, something Brian couldn’t begin to understand. I’m not saying he isn’t intelligent, but compared to you most people are, for lack of a better word, imbeciles. What on earth could he talk to you about that would interest you?” Julian asks.

“Nothing you would understand.” I tell him, not wanting to give Julian anything he could use.

“I’m trying, because I know you’re upset at the way I reacted. As if you owe me an explanation for living your own life. I stepped over the line with you, and I want to try to be more than your boss; a friend if you will. I want us to spend time together, even if you want to include Brian. I don’t have many people in my life I trust, and I do trust you. I want you to see there are more options available to you.” He said, reaching for my face.

I moved away because I didn’t want him touching me. It felt like he was moving chess pieces, trying to find a way to win. He let his hand drop, shrugging as if he didn’t mean to make me uncomfortable.

“Just know if you need someone, I’m here, willing to be what you need me to be.” He said, getting up.

Ben came walking up and Julian’s mood changed. I could see he was angry at Ben. It was in the tic in his jaw and the way he looked at him, as if Ben wasn’t giving him what he wanted. 

“Too busy romancing to do your job?” Julian asked, walking off, not waiting for Ben to say anything.

“As long as it pisses you off.” Ben said under his breath, following me into the house. “What did Julian want?” Ben asked.

“Not really sure.” I said, waiting for Ben to close the door. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re hanging around Brian’s friends?” I ask, wanting to stop playing games.

Ben didn’t say anything at first. He was caught off guard, likely because I didn’t ignore him the way I always do. This whole morning made me realize it wasn’t that I didn’t understand people, I just didn’t see the point in understanding why they created illusions to hide who they really were.

“I didn’t know I couldn’t have interests outside of you.” Ben said defensively.

“That’s not what I asked. Why this sudden interest in Brian’s friends?” I asked again.

“Why does it matter who I’m interested in? And in case you aren’t aware, it would be hard not to run into someone Brian knows, since he knows most of Liberty Avenue, most intimately.” Ben tells me.

And that just pissed me off. Not only was Julian saying it to gauge my reaction, but Ben was using it to not answer my question.

“Yes, he does know a lot of men, and it doesn’t bother me, because it has nothing to do with my question about why you’re specifically targeting his core group of friends. I don’t believe in coincidences, I believe in looking at a puzzle and taking it apart to find out the truth you can’t hide behind deflection.” I tell him.

Ben went to the stereo and turned it on, waiting for me to walk over to him. At first I didn’t get it, but it made sense, I was watched everywhere. My home wasn’t mine, but another place my privacy was taken from me. I wanted to go sit on Brian’s roof, because eventually it won’t be just the place Brian tried to give me. I started to wonder if I should have left Brian alone, but I didn’t know there was anything about my life that would affect anyone else's. 

“Fuck, why couldn’t you stay asleep?” Ben asks, smiling.

“What does that mean?” I ask.

“It means I’m hoping you’ll leave it alone. Let me keep you from being involved. You think Julian is the only one that watches you? He’s not. He’s the one that put you on the radar, by hiring you. Until then, no one understood what you were capable of, and now they all want you. It won’t matter to them that Julian is human waste that needs to be behind bars, if they manage to acquire you. You’ve been studied and found to possess skills most people couldn’t imagine having. While I sometimes don’t get what you do, I can see how it would be useful to others.” Ben tells me.

“Then explain it to me.” I tell him, wanting to know why anyone saw anything exceptional about me.

“Justin, what you do isn’t just about catching someone, but also knowing what they’ll do next if they can continue.” He tells me. Seeing my confusion he continued, “Apply it to terrorists. If we handed you everything we know about their activities, what would you do?” Ben asks.

“Who do you really work for?” I ask, instead of answering.

“Someone who wants you, but answer my question.” He tells me.

“I’d find the pattern they used, in the words, the things that don’t match up to the words. For example, if they were saying they were taking their kids to the mall, I’d want to know if they had kids, and if they did, what kinds of things they did with those kids. If they didn’t have kids, I’d want to know what was so interesting about the mall that made them mention it, when they didn’t have children.” I tell him.

“What would you do if you found out they were planning an attack on us?” Ben asks, like it was a test.

“Find the people before they got on a plane.” I told him, getting what he was trying to say to me.

“Which we didn’t. But if they had you we might have saved the lives of people who were at the wrong place that day. Only they dismissed you as another genius with a very limited mind. They didn’t bother to see what Julian did when he hired you. They didn’t see that talking wasn’t important to what you could do.” Ben tells me.

“Back to my original question, why are you hanging out with Brian’s friends?” I ask.

“Julian wants Brian gone, and hopes I can give him a way of doing that for him.” Ben tells me.

“Why does he have a problem with Brian?” I ask.

“You’re changing, fighting Julian, and I think it bothers him that he didn’t get the attention you’re giving to Brian. In a way your lack of interest was fine, because Julian didn’t have to share you, unless he could use it to get something. Julian ruins people's lives, but he manages to always come out looking clean. He doesn’t have a weakness, except when it comes to you. It’s why I let Julian use me, to see exactly what he trusts you with.” Ben tells me.

“It wouldn’t matter what he trusts me with, I can find out what he doesn’t.” I tell Ben.

“By doing that, Julian would go after the people important to you. It’s how he does it. He makes it so the people he uses are more scared of him than of what happens to them for doing what he wants them to do.” Ben tells me.

“I’ve been giving him leverage this whole time. He sends me information and I find out everything about not only the breach, but who they are. Then he figures out ways to make them dance to his tune.” I say, hating myself for not looking at the bigger picture.

“Justin, they commited the crimes. You were only making sure they didn’t get away with it. What Julian did with the information was on him, not you.” Ben tells me.

“Why do you care how I see it?” I asked.

“Because you might be the only innocent person I’ve ever known. I don’t want you to see what you are doing as anything but seeing the wrong in what they were doing, not just to Julian, but to others, if they continued. And no matter what you think, I do care about you.” Ben tells me.

“What about Brian?” I ask.

“That’s the problem. Because one thing I figured out about him is that he won’t back down if someone tries to hurt anyone he cares about. Apparently you’re topping his list.” Ben tells me.

“I should stay away from him.” I say to myself.

“It would be easier, but it seems Julian is being more reckless because of your interest in Brian. Until now he didn’t show up and deal with you, letting me watch over you. Just like you’re acting out of character, so is he. And it’s what might get him caught, when before, we couldn’t ever link anything directly back to him. I think he’s always known you were the one person who could ruin him. Maybe it turned him on, knowing you could catch him when no one else was able to, but that’s just a guess on my part. Until you started interacting with Brian, I didn’t even know he was interested in you beyond that of an asset.” Ben tells me.

“Why tell me now?” I asked.

“You’re no longer asleep. And you need to know the game that’s playing around you. Julian hates to lose. So you need to protect yourself and the people you care about.” Ben tells me, turning off the stereo. “How about I make us lunch and you go on and get what you should have been doing, done.” he says, sounding annoyed at me.

“How about you get out.” I muttered, walking away while thinking about everything Ben said. Ben nodded before we once again played the roles we’d played since we met. Only now, Julian was no longer safe from me.

BRIAN

Cynthia handed me coffee and messages as everyone wandered around, looking at Ryder’s office. No one seemed to be working, just curious.

“What’s going on?” I ask Cynthia.

“I don’t think Ryder was kidding about retiring. The guy who came in was looking around like he was assessing the place, not like a client.” Cynthia tells me.

“Any idea who the guy is?” I ask.

“Gardner Vance.” She tells me.

“Which means I’m fucked, because Ryder hedged on making me partner.” I tell her.

“No, you’re fucked because you should have started your own business instead of making Ryder richer.” Cynthia whispered, as the man of the hour walked out of Ryder’s office.

Gardner didn’t walk by me like I was invisible, they way he did at all the ass kissers trying to get his attention. He came directly to me.

“Brian Kinney?” He asks.

“The one and only.” I tell him.

“Yes you are. I’m about to have lunch, why don’t you join me? Maybe we could talk about your future with me. I have a feeling you’ll be thrilled with how I see your future.” He tells me, smiling at me even though I could read he would rather not offer me anything.

“What future is that?” I ask, going along with him.

“One that gets you out of Pittsburgh and shows the rest of the world what you can do.” He tells me.

I smirked, but found it interesting my dreams were being handed to me, and it would give Julian what he wanted. 

“Give me a minute to grab my coat.” I tell Gardner.

“I’ll meet you at the elevator, don’t take too long.” Gardner tells me.

Cynthia followed me into my office. “I need to know everything you can find out about Gardner, and if he has any link to Julian Yates.” I tell her.

“How am I supposed to find out that kind of information?” She asks.

“By going to this address and telling Justin to find out for us.” I tell her, quickly writing down Justin’s address.

“Who’s Justin?” She asks.

BRIAN

Gardner was pulling out all the stops, as if he wanted to make sure what he was offering was irresistible to me. I was also welcome to call him by his first name, since he saw that offering a partnership Ryder was stupid not to offer me was in my future with him. It was everything I dreamed of when I saw my future. All it would take was being willing to move my ass out of Pittsburgh, and any city in the world was mine to conquer. It was really unbelievable. Unbelievable in that he could barely conceal how much he’d rather take me down a peg or two and make me work for what he wanted. Maybe I was being paranoid, but it seemed that Vance’s mode of operation was more bending people to his will, not bending over for them. 

“It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. One that at your age in this business doesn’t come along often.” He tells me, and there it was, playing on the fear all Ad men eventually face. Aging past the market.

“Can I be honest with you?” I ask, planning to lie my ass off.

“Of course. I value that above all else.” Gardner tells me.

“I just don’t know if continuing to work for someone else is really what I want to do. Lucky for me, the lawyer who looked over my contract when I signed with Ryder also got rid of the no competition clause. Which means partnership might not be as lucrative to me, as owner. So call me cynical, but is it that your worried what would happen to your investment if I walk away with seventy percent of the accounts that your firm has never managed to get because they choose to go with me?” I ask.

“Where would they go if you left? They’d stay with me, that’s where. I only believe in rewarding the man Ryder spoke so highly about. You’re wasted here. And if you’re honest, you know it’s true.” He tells me.

“I’ll think about your offer, maybe call my clients and see where they stand. I’d like to know exactly where I stand. I’d also need to make sure it’s not too good to be true.” I tell him.

“I need an answer immediately or you need to clear your desk.” Gardner threatens me.

“Well then, clear my desk it is.” I tell him, getting up, not falling for it.

“I shouldn’t have said that. I’ll give you a few days, and we can discuss this when you have time to consider what a great opportunity I’m offering you.” Gardner said, before I could go.

“Great. I love to research everything and get down to what’s really behind it. I mean, what’s in my best interest.” I tell him.

“Don’t screw up your life for anyone. It will haunt you in ways you didn’t even know you could regret.” Gardner tells me, almost like a warning.

CYNTHIA

I used to think I knew everything about Brian’s life, but somehow he still managed to surprise me. When I got to the address and asked to speak to Justin, the man who answered the door pulled me in the house, shaking his head before I could say Brian sent me. I trailed behind him, seeing what Brian might see in the mountain of a man in front of me. Only he called out for Justin, meaning he wasn’t Justin. Out of a side door comes a younger man, who looks confused at seeing me.

“What Ben?” Justin asks, looking annoyed at being disturbed.

“Turn that annoyed look at the people showing up at your door uninvited. Just do it in your office so I don’t have to deal with your problems.” Ben tells him.

“What, you don’t want to listen in?” Justin asks, like they were talking in code while sniping at each other.

“It’s the one place you get to keep your secrets.” Ben said, rolling his eyes.

Justin turned and went back in the office. Ben waved me in, closing the door behind me. Only the man standing in the office with me wasn’t the one bitching out Ben like he was unwanted help. 

“Why… Who… Shit, can I help you?” He said, tripping over his words.

“Brian sent me.” I told him, trying to figure out why Brian sent me to this timid man. 

“Did he say why?” He asks, looking worried.

“He wanted to know about Gardner Vance, and said something about a Julian Yates. He wanted to know if they were connected.” I tell him, still lost as to why this was important.

“Who’s Gardner Vance?” Justin asks.

“Likely the guy about to become our boss.” I tell him.

“Brian wanted to know if Julian was involved?” Justin asks, going to his computer, losing the timid air and becoming more… just more.

“I really don’t know, but he seemed to think it was important and that you might be able to give him what he wants.” I tell him.

“It’s going to take time…” He says, as if he wants me to leave. 

“How do you know Brian?” I ask, since nothing about Justin was... well, Brian’s preferences.

He seems to think about it as he watched his screen, hands flying over the keyboard, his head shaking at what he was looking at as if it wasn’t what he was looking for. Then his hands stilled, and I could see he found something, only he answered the question I had asked minutes earlier.

“He interested me… watching him. I guess something about me… interested him.” Justin said it slowly, distracted by what he was looking at.

I came around to see what he looking at and honesty couldn’t tell you what it was, other than windows opening up. Each one containing articles on Gardner, each one minimized so he could set them side by side. And unlike me, Justin seemed know what he was looking at. Looking at the dates they were Gardner’s life, public and private in reverse order.

“You can’t hide anything when your life is public.” Justin muttered to himself.

“It’s just a bunch of articles about Gardner’s marriage and his wife?” I questioned, not seeing what he was talking about.

“Which wouldn’t really matter.” Ben said, scaring the shit out of me when I didn’t hear him enter, or even open and close the door.

“Except that he a bought a house, only to put the house in someone else’s name and set up a account for the woman. Then made her sign an agreement never to contact him again.” Justin said, making me wonder how many laws we were breaking with the information he was pulling up.

“Why would that be important?” I ask, still trying to figure it out.

“It wouldn’t be, except I know the address. It was one I gave Julian.” Justin said, looking at Ben.

“Remember what I said, what someone else does isn’t your fault.” Ben was talking like a parent to Justin.

“I didn’t check, and the kid was just messing around, what use could he be to Julian?” Justin asked, although he wasn’t really asking us.

“It takes a while for him to get there, but Julian’s right.” Ben tells me, as if reading my confusion, only to confuse me more.

“About what?” Justin asks, sifting through more documents.

“He’s extraordinary.” Ben whispers to me, as Justin didn’t seem to care what the answer was, once again concentrating on the computer.

Justin was concentrating so hard on what he was reading that it was like we weren’t in the room with him.

“I’d suggest you ask me what you want to know. He’ll be too busy to listen to us.” Ben tells me.

“Here in front of him?” I ask.

“This is the only room I never bugged.” Ben tells me. What the hell?

“What about Julian?” Justin said, proving he could hear us.

“Julian? The one Brian wants to know about?” I ask.

“I’ve told you, with you he makes mistakes. He thought having people watch you was enough.” Ben tells him, completely ignoring me.

“But you needed more?” Justin said while running through more documents.

“We were hoping you’d be chatty. Instead they just got a lot of silent recordings.” Ben seemed to find this funny.

“Hello? Didn’t you just say they saw me as the boy who wouldn’t talk? What did they expect?” Justin muttered.

“Was that a joke? You’re picking up bad habits.” Ben teased.

“I don’t know… I’ve never really understood the whole thing.” Justin said seriously, only his hands stopped and he fell back in his chair. “I led him to a kid, Ben.” Justin tells him.

“What was the kid doing?” Ben asks, as if he needed Justin to see it differently.

“Nothing anybody would really care about, other than getting into the system.” Justin tells him.

“Does it have anything to do with Gardner?” I ask, not understanding what they were talking about. 

Ben went to see what Justin was looking at, but I could see he didn’t get what he was seeing anymore than I did when I went around to look. 

“He’s Gardner’s son.” Justin tells us.

“He never had any children with his wife. Trust me I looked up what I could find on him on my way here.” I tell Justin.

“Wives aren’t the only ones who can have children. And this child would have lost him everything, since his wife brought all the money Gardner could want into the marriage, likely with a prenup. And until Hunter screwed with Julian, Gardner never had to worry about his indiscretion, with, from what I can tell was a call girl, coming out. What was he doing?” Ben asked Justin, as I read the arrest records on the mother.

“Hoping to get caught. It only took me minutes to track him down. I didn’t think much about it, other than he was too new at this if I caught him as fast as I did.” Justin tells Ben.

“What was he searching for?” Ben asked.

“It wasn’t really much. Almost random stuff, well except he tried to find what Julian had on me. He looked up my information, but Julian doesn’t keep it in his system. I looked.” Justin smirked.

“I know. We’ve all looked. Trying to find out how Julian convinced you to work for him. I thought maybe you’d be the one we could convince to tell us, since you didn’t have anything for Julian to exploit to keep you compliant.” Ben tells him.

“He offered me what I wanted. A life away from people demanding I perform for them. It’s what I thought I wanted, to be alone.” Justin said, staring out the window.

“Was there any pattern to what Hunter was looking at?” Ben asks.

Justin bit his lip, shaking his head as if he was tossing ideas around and discarding them when they weren’t right. I’d seen Brian do the same thing, only he talked them out with me. 

“Maybe he wanted to get caught.” I threw out, since no one was saying anything.

“Why?” Justin asked, focusing his eyes on me, making me wonder how many men would fall prey to being the focus of those eyes. Maybe Brian?

“It’s more about why anyone does stupid things... to get attention. Think about it; he silenced the mother, likely because screwing around might get forgiven, but with a child, well that might have tipped the wife to divorce court. He pretty much washed his hands of Hunter, and I doubt the mother was really much of one, since she didn’t slow down after.” I said, pointing out the arrests after the kid was born. “Kids act out for the attention they can’t get from the person who should shower them with attention.” I tell him.

“Only Julian doesn’t like to prosecute, just makes them sorry for messing in his pond.” Ben tells me.

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” I ask.

“Sure. Only the people he has monitoring my activity only see what Julian sends me to do, not what we’re actually doing. They really shouldn’t try to break into my computer, but since they did it means they accidently downloaded the program I created to block them from seeing anything but the work Julian sends to me.” Justin smiles.

“Will Julian figure it out?” Ben asks.

“Only if he has someone smarter than me, so maybe?” Justin said, without sounding conceited, or even worried that someone might be smarter.

“What do I tell Brian?” I ask.

“Gardner will do anything Julian asks. Which is likely, to get Brian out of Justin’s life.” Ben tells me. 

“Do I want to know why?” I ask.

“We’re still working on that.” Justin tells me. “Tell Brian, ‘Babylon would be better, and not to worry about Ben’.” He didn’t tell me what that meant.

JUSTIN

Ben left after Cynthia, telling us leaving together wouldn’t really be a good idea. I doubted anyone would ignore the fact there were people coming and going from my house and not tell Julian or whoever else could be watching what goes on with me. In truth, let them and good luck to them, now that I don’t want them to watch me anymore. I got dressed, planning to make it a little harder for them. Something I never even tried before, always following the same routes and going to the same places was a pattern I set, making it easier to be followed. It was time to change the pattern, if they’re any good they’ll figure it out. 

I sat at my window, really looking for the first time. It wasn’t like my street was huge or teeming with people. It was that I wasn’t really looking at the people, I just liked to know they were out there. If there were people watching me, then they’d expect me to do what I always do, walk out the front door and head down in the direction I always go. Hopefully I had set the pattern that caused them to be lazy. Instead, I went out the back and down the back alley. Other than a few animals I didn’t see anyone around, but I still detoured through a yard to the street in the next neighborhood. Paying attention for a change, I avoided letting ideas distract me while I walked. It was really strangely exciting, something my life lacked before.

Babylon’s line was long when I got there, which was new since I tended to show up early, making it easier to get in. Not knowing what to do, I went to get in the line, only to have someone loop their arm through mine.

“Honey, the only people who get in line are the ones that aren’t likely to ever get in.” Emmett said, dragging me straight into the club. “Now are we going up or down?” He asks, as he guides me past people and towards the middle of the club.  “Can you dance?” He asks, looking down at me. “It’s okay no one really cares if you can, but hey you have me to show you all the moves so just follow my lead.” He said, pulling me in front of him, putting his hands on my hips and making me want to run when he moved our hips together. Only to grab my hand and spin me around to face him. “See, it’s fun.” He tells me, looking over me, and grinning at what he was seeing. “I think I might get killed unless you save me.” He announced suddenly, as I got yanked backwards and turned again. I was getting dizzy.

“Hands off.” Brian said over my head, and I looked up to see him glaring at Emmett.

“Well off to distract, this was fun.” Emmett said, dancing away.

“Is there some reason for this?” I asked, assuming we’d find a corner not the middle of the dance floor.

“You don’t like dancing?” Brian asked, pulling me closer to him.

“I wouldn’t know, but we need to talk.” I told him.

“Which we will, after Emmett deals with Mikey for us.” He tells me, moving me to see his friend heading toward us. Then Emmett got in front of Mikey, and Brian walked us off the dance floor. He took me through the backroom I’d avoided, and through to the exit where his car was sitting. I didn’t have time to say anything when he opened the door and shoved me in, getting in and driving away.

“I thought we were going to talk there?” I asked.

“Too many people who would interrupt us, and there's someone who might know what we're up against.” He tells me.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Emmett has a friend who is willing to let us use his place to talk. I told Emmett to let Ben know where to find us. What were you able to find out?” He asks.

“That my work isn’t as simple as I wanted to believe it was. Julian apparently keeps people in his pocket and uses them when he needs something. In this case, Gardner’s illegitimate son, who I busted for hacking into Julian’s systems. I searched, but didn’t find any other connection between Gardner and Julian.” I tell him, still feeling like shit about it.

“So he called up Gardner and thought offering me my dream job was a way to get me away from you.” Brian said, thinking about it. 

“Maybe you should.” I whispered.

“Should what?” He asked.

“Take what Gardner’s offering you. Forget about all of this.” I tell him.

“Walk away and let Julian have what he wants?” He asks.

“You’d get what you want too.” I tell him, wanting him out of whatever this is.

“You’re trying to protect me?” Brian asks, stopping the car on the side of the road.

“Why would you want to deal with this when you really don’t have to. It’s not like we’ve known each other that long and you don’t owe me…” 

Brian cut me off by sealing his lips over mine. He wasn’t gentle but almost bruising, like he was angry at me for giving him an out. We were both breathing heavily staring at each other when he backed off.

“No, I don’t owe you anything, but it’s not about owing anything, it’s about feeling something for the first time.” He tells me.

“I don’t understand.” I tell him.

“When people touch me, other than getting off, I feel nothing. I know this is all new to you, but it’s new for me too. I want to be there helping you, because with you I feel, and I’m not willing to give that up.” He tells me, starting the car again.

We arrived at a mansion, where a butler was waiting for us. He took us through the house, stopping outside a door. “Mr Honeycutt said you needed some privacy, the other gentleman chose the pool area, let me know if you need anything.” He said, walking off and leaving us outside a door.

“No one even knows that my friends and I know George.” Brian said, opening the door.

Ben was sitting in a lounge chair next to a man who looked old enough to be a grandfather. He got up when Brian and I were close enough. “I’ll leave you to talk.” He tells Brian.

“I’d rather you stay, and tell us your opinion about what we came here to talk about.” Brian tells him.

‘Brian, we need to be careful how many people get involved.” Ben warns.

“I live here like a hermit, so your secrets are safe with me.” George tells him. “And if Brian needs my help I have no problem offering it in any way he needs me to, because Emmett values him as a friend.” 

“Cynthia told me you found out Gardner Vance had a son, and that’s the connection to Julian Yates.” Brian tells us.

“An illegitimate son that Gardner doesn’t acknowledge.” Ben told him.

“Which would have Gardner scurrying for cover. His wife is worse than mine. But what would this have to do with Julian?” George asks.

“We think Julian is using Gardner to entice Brian to get away from me.” I tell him.

“What’s he offering you?” George asked Brian.

BRIAN    

“The chance to play with the big boys of advertising. What I don’t get is why he would care that Justin and I are dating each other.” I told him.

“It’s the world of the wealthy Brian, you don’t get to play with our toys unless we want you to.” He tells me.

“What is it you do for Julian?” George asks Justin.

“Cyber security. I’m one of the many he has.” Justin tells him.

“What makes you special to him?” George asks.

“Nothing. I’m not special.” Justin tells him.

“Ben?” George asks.

“Justin’s off the scale in intelligence, able to take variables and figure out the possible outcomes and narrow it down to one. There are others who could do it, but Justin can do it faster.” Ben tells him.

“Only, what I’m doing is giving Julian a way to screw up people’s lives.” Justin tells him.

“Justin…”

“I don’t care. It’s not my fault people do stupid things for attention, but it is my fault that I gave Julian people he could use. For all my intelligence, it was stupid to live in ignorance of how Julian would use what I give him.” Justin tells him, getting up to pace.

“You were doing your job.” Ben tells him.

“Great. Only now some kid who only wanted his father to know he exists has to deal with the fact that what he did will likely make the same father wish he didn’t.” Justin tell him.

“Shitty parents are everywhere, and Gardner didn’t want him in the first place. Nothing you did would have changed that.” I tell him, grabbing his hand and sitting him next to me.

“Justin, one thing I know is the world of the elite, and if it wasn’t a kid he didn’t want, Gardner likely has other secrets Julian could use.” George tells him.

“Do you? Think about it, because just talking to us could have Julian after you.” Ben asks.

“Mine’s an open secret. Even if it got out, no one would be surprised. My wife would be furious, but she’s been angry for years about finding out I’m gay. My children know and likely don’t care as long as they get their inheritance when I die. In truth, Julian could do his worst, but it wouldn’t be worse than living in the closet all my life.” George tells him.

“I think Brian should take the deal Gardner offered him.” Justin tells Ben.

“I don’t like the idea of getting my dream when it means Julian gets what the wants.” I tell him, getting pissed that he thinks I can just walk away from him.

“It would just give Ben and I time to figure out how to take Julian down, I promise.” Justin tells me.

Justin wasn’t going to get what he wanted, but I needed to know what Ben was doing and why he was involving Mikey, so I tabled the argument Justin and I were going to have.

“Why involve Mikey?” I ask.

“Julian wanted something he could use against you and ordered me to find it. I didn’t want to give him anything, so I went after Michael. He’s a font of useless Brian Kinney information, and Julian knows that you have a strong connection to Michael’s family. In essence, Michael was the one friend you have that I thought would be the least likely to give me anything useful for Julian.” Ben tells me.

“Emmett said Michael’s thoughts on you tend more towards hero worship, and hopes of a childhood crush, so he would be a good person to use.” George tells me.

“Not if he gets hurt because Ben is leading him on.” I warn.

“I don’t plan to, but if it protects Justin, sorry but Michael will just have to be hurt, the way he already is that you don’t return his feelings.” Ben says, sounding as if it bothers him.

“No one gets hurt because of me, do you understand?” Justin asks Ben.

“People already have been, and a broken heart heals.” Ben tells him.

Justin closed his eyes as Ben’s words hit the mark. I was ready to toss Ben in the pool for saying it and making Justin feel guilty.

“Brian, let it go. Ben likely feels just as guilty for sitting on the sidelines and allowing what Justin did to hurt other people. Justin did his job, but it appears Ben knew what was happening and let it happen. Instead of running around playing Julian’s game, it’s time to even the odds.” George tells us.

“How?” Justin says in a small voice. One that made me want to show Ben my idea of hurting people.

“They want to offer you something you couldn’t refuse?” George asks me.

“A job that a year ago, and before I met Justin, I would have jumped at.” I tell him.

“Really, or would you have jumped at owning the agency?” George asks.

“Of course I would, but that takes more than I have right now.” I tell him.

“Brian, my boy, all it takes is backing by the right people. A client list you already have, and the right word in the right ears. Something I’d be happy to do for you, just because I hate bullies.” George tells me.

“You don’t know me well enough to risk everything.” I tell him.

“What risk? All you’ll be doing is making pickles sexy and giving your clients who believe in you what they’ve waited for. Trust me on one thing, Julian’s wrath will mean nothing when they get richer by going with you.” George tells me.

“It still doesn’t solve Justin’s problem.” I tell him.

“From what it sounds like, the problem was that Justin lived like a hermit. Something that kept people out of his life, but also made it so Julian has more power in Justin’s.” George tells us.

“Julian is careful to stay clean. Justin being more visible means Julian would be juggling a lot of balls.” I said, getting where George was going.

“And pissing off the people who got snared in Julian’s web. Oppression starts wars, and Julian is only one man against an army of people he’s enslaved.” Ben tells us.

“People I put in the position they’re in.” Justin tells him.

“Only the hackers. Who will likely love to help you.” I tell him.

“We need to find the kid, Hunter.” Justin tells Ben.

“Why?” Ben asks.

“Because he made it too easy. Which I didn’t get until Cynthia said he might have done it for attention. Something doesn’t make sense. Why look for me?” Justin asks.

“Good question.” Ben stated.

“Is Justin known in those circles?” I ask.

“He’s probably famous, because he catches them all.” Ben tells me.

“Please. They do the same shit over and over.” Justin blows off.

“Only you catch them, and in their world you’re a god among them.” I tell him.

“Imagine what they’ll think when instead of catching them, you ask for their help.” Ben tells him. 

“To keep Julian busy?” Justin asks.

“To get back at the man who is likely making them do things they don’t want to do.” I tell Justin.

“It’s going to be hard to hide this, even with the program I have running.” Justin says, thinking. “Julian is going to be suspicious of a sudden burst of attacks to his systems, and I’m going to have to give him something or this won’t work.

“That’s something I can help with.” Ben tells me.

“No one is going to want to end up with Julian on their ass.” Justin tells him.

“Trust me, my guys would love for Julian to target one of them. It would also make it so I could leave Michael alone.” Ben tells Justin, actually looking sad about it.

“He’ll still be there when this is through.” I tell Ben, thinking Michael could finally find a real hero in Ben.

“So will Justin.” Ben tells me.

“That’s my goal.” I tell Ben.

HUNTER

When the front door slammed shut I honestly didn’t care that my mother was planning to be gone for a couple weeks, it meant freedom. I grabbed the hidden laptop my mother would likely pawn if she knew I had one. I was just planning to see if anyone wanted to game for a while. On the net, I wasn’t Hunter. And that meant being able to forget how little anyone cared about Hunter. I learned a long time ago that what I didn’t hide ended up at pawn shops to support her many habits, and not to let the guilt she threw at me for being another thing she did in hopes of giving herself a better life. Which didn’t get her anywhere when my sperm donor liked the life his wife gave him and had no plans to let my mother spoil it. Although I did finally meet the man, and he let me know how I ruined his life from the minute I was born. At that point I decided being an orphan would have been preferable. Of course the smarter move would have been to stop believing there was someone out there who gave a shit about me.

Maybe that was why I was so interested in Justin Taylor. He lived without people and seemed to do just fine. I really didn’t get my interest in the guy. Other than that he made me believe I could be someone without having parents to hold my hand in life. Which I needed, since my parents were all about acting like I wasn’t there. My fascination with him started when my class attended a workshop for math and science. I wandered off, since at the time it sounded pretty lame. I ended up sitting in the back of some seminar where they seemed to be challenging the college kids to solve problems, and noticed a guy sitting by himself looking just as bored as I was. Only, when no one could come up with the answer, he got up wrote it out in minutes. Then walked off like he didn’t give a shit that the whole room was speechless at how fast he came up with it. He didn’t do it for any reason but because he knew the answer, which was made obvious when he sat back down, ignoring everyone.

People were trying to get his attention, but he just opened a book and started reading, never once speaking to anyone. I sat around listening to people talk about him like he was some asshole who likes to show up everyone. Only, I could tell he was just uncomfortable, something I’d been most of my life because of my mother’s antics when she showed up at my school. He could hear how people described him, but he didn’t let it get to him, and it was that about him that interested me. I wanted to be able to do that, not let people get to me. I wanted to ask him how he dealt with the bullshit, but he walked out and disappeared before I could ask.

The college loved to scream about the success of their students, and eventually there was an article about Justin Taylor; orphan, genius, and all his achievements. They were very proud of the fact that Julian Yates hired Justin Taylor, since he only hired the best. I started messing around on computers, wanting people to one day say things like that about me. I wanted someone to notice me, and unfortunately Justin Taylor did, in about three minutes, and my donor in about two days. I was yanked out of school to meet Julian Yates, and figured out that it wasn’t me but Daddy Dearest that Julian was interested in. And the man who should have given a shit was trying to throw me to the wolves to save his own ass. It was the first time it didn’t bother me, listening to someone talk about me like I was worthless. Which Julian did, while explaining to Dad that his dirty secret stayed safe, as long as, if Julian asked something of him, he did it. 

Julian didn’t want me, because he saw nothing in my grades or the way I got caught that told him I was any more than an idiot with a computer and nothing important to do. Normally I would get a shitty attitude and tell the guy off, but something told me to keep my mouth shut. Julian Yates was bad news, and it made me wonder if my hero worship of Justin Taylor was way off, since he worked with the asshole. I got shipped back to my house with a warning of all sorts of bad shit that Julian could and would do if I wasted any more of his time. While I barely like my mother, I didn’t want her to disappear. I figured out underachieving wasn’t the worst thing I could have ever done. I mean, if I actually applied myself then I’d be like my donor and forced to do what Julian wanted him to do. Which was never said out loud. It was just that when Julian called, my donor answered and did what he wanted. In a way it was poetic justice; my father was now the whore, dependant on another person’s will. 

I looked up at my computer when something caught my eye, and my computer started doing things on it’s own. It was cute at first, until it started downloading without me agreeing to it. I couldn’t get it to stop, and when it was finished I stared at the words left on the screen.

YOU GOT MY ATTENTION, PLAY WITH ME.

The fucker was daring me, and I always had a problem not being able to refuse. It was why I got my ass kicked so often, for not knowing when to walk away. I clicked on the icon and my computer was possessed. The screen changed to a maze, telling me to find the prize. It took me hours of going through the wrong paths, only because I wanted to see where they led. Only I figured out they all led the wrong way.  It was designed to see if I cheated, and when I did, the maze changed to doors, all open but one. One was left closed with a sign that said enter at your own risk. Since the others were open and I wanted to see what was behind the closed door. Only the fucking door was screenshots of what caused my father to have to acknowledge that I existed. I tried to get out, but the door closed and everything disappeared, only to have a question left behind.

WHY?

I sat there trying to figure out if this was some kind of trap, then figured I was already in it so why not answer.

EVERYONE WANTS TO SAY THEY BEAT JUSTIN TAYLOR. I ONLY WANTED TO MEET HIM.

I waited for a couple minutes without any more questions, only to be routed to my email. I wasn’t sure if I should be impressed or scared that there was someone out there that could do this kind of shit. The email contained a e-ticket to Pittsburgh, and a message.

“Nice to meet you, and if you want to meet me, come. Justin.”

Really? Sit around here, hoping my mother remembered to leave food, or go meet the man I sort of idolized. No contest.

BRIAN

Justin sat back, looking worried after he signed off. I told him we were going to talk before he went home. He was going to understand something about me. I don’t let people bully me either. We’d left George’s house, agreeing to meet Ben, who was going to get one of Justin’s spare laptops and meet us back at the loft. I thought Justin could use my computer, but he actually laughed, saying it couldn’t do what his could.

“Is he coming?” I asked.

“Most likely.” He said, worried.

“If you think it’s a bad idea then why bring him here?” I asked.

“I just want to keep him safe from anything, and seeing the life his mother leads tells me he has no one if Julian ever figures out Hunter’s a lot smarter than Julian was led to believe.” Justin tells me.

“What led you to that conclusion? The barely passing grades, or that he was easy for you to catch?” I ask, trying not sound skeptical.

“He was ahead of his class, but attendance became a challenge for him. He was being dumped in foster care every time his mother was arrested. Which meant a new school, then back to the old one. Likely he just didn’t see the point of trying anymore, because who knew where he would be with his mother’s activities. He didn’t have a chance in that environment.” Justin tells me.

“You managed.” I pointed out.

“Only after they figured out I wasn’t slow. After that I was pulled out of public school and put in specialized schools. I got a lot of opportunities he didn’t.” Justin tells me.

“Then we bring him here and Ben will make it so he’s safe.” I tell him.

“I should get going.” Justin says, trying to escape.

“Not until we talk about you trying to push me out of this.” I tell him.

“What do you want me to say? That I don’t like how my life is causing problems in yours? I don’t, because it’s not just about you, but your son and your friends.” He tells me.

“What are you talking about?” I ask.

“All the variables, Brian. If Julian could go from Hunter to Gardner to find something he wanted, do you really think he’s going to ignore Gus, or anyone important to you? What would you do to protect your family? Because Julian’s going to figure out you don’t care about protecting yourself.” Justin tells me.

“Why do you think I don’t care about protecting myself?” I ask.

“You’re still here with me, when you could go back to a life without the things I apparently bring with me.” Justin tells me.

“I guess we have that in common. Because you’re willing to hurt yourself to protect me.” I tell him.

“How did you come up with that one?” Justin asks me.

“Why did you keep watching me?” I ask.

“I told you.” Justin said, looking anywhere but at me.

“No, you really haven’t. You say I’m interesting, that you get peace with me, but you don’t want to tell yourself it’s more.” I tell him.

“What about you? You’ve admitted you have no idea what I am to you. Are you not willing to tell yourself I’m just some guy you feel sorry for? That you want to fix me, the way you want to do for everyone in your life.” Justin tells me.

“I don’t need to fix you. I need to know for once in my life, someone knows I exist.” I tell him.

“Trust me, they know you exist. I watched it night after night.” Justin tells me.

I started taking off my clothes, while Justin looked at me, trying to figure out what I was doing. I didn’t stop until I was left naked standing in front of him. I walked towards him, as he started backing away. He was against the wall with me barely a foot away.

“They see the package, not me. They only see the parts they want inside of them. Around them. You see what’s inside all this. They touch my body, but they don’t touch anything that matters, because they can’t see beyond the bullshit I show the world. I don’t know how I knew the first night you sat on that bench, but you saw the man inside me. Do you want to know what it was like for me to kiss you? It was like there were electrical currents running through my body, everywhere you touched me. I felt alive, because you touched a part of me that no one ever did.” I said, kissing him.

Justin’s hands moved to touch my chest, then ran up my arms. I pulled him to me, wrapping him in my arms as he followed my lead, not timidly kissing me, but giving me all of him. I could tell he wasn’t ready for this to go any further, but for the first time in my life, kissing was enough. I leaned my head against his, as we both were out of breath.

“I don’t want my dream unless you’re there with me. I know what this is, I’m just waiting for you to figure it out.” I whisper to him.

Justin lightly kissed me. “Why couldn’t everything just be easy?” He asks.

“This is, the rest is what we have to do to get to this.” I tell him.

“I need to go, but not because I want to.” He tells me.

“You got my attention, let’s play this together.” I tell him.

MICHAEL

Emmett left, saying he was hungry, and took Ted with him when I refused to go. I wanted to talk to Brian and secretly hoped to see Ben. After waiting for over an hour I left, but Emmett and Ted had already left the diner and Ma wasn’t there working either. I felt like everyone was abandoning me lately. Normally I could depend on Brian to tell me I’m not alone, but lately our friendship has been strained. I thought he’d be happy that I was willing to start seeing people, and that for once I’d listened and understood that friendship was all he could give me. I liked Ben, he didn’t act like my interest in comics was childish, and listened to me in a way my friends really didn’t. Only, I was stuck waiting around for him to show up, since he didn’t offer me a way to get a hold of him. Hell, I didn’t even know where he lived. I didn’t really know anything other than he didn’t have any family or friends in the area. 

I went into the diner, figuring I could distract myself from Ben, Brian, and everything else going on lately. I thought maybe I should go home, but since I didn’t have to work I stayed, hoping Brian might show up. Only the person who sat across from me wasn’t anyone I’d ever seen here before. He looked around like he’d rather be anywhere but here. He wasn’t really likely to have anyone pounce on him, since he looked like he would kick someones ass for looking at him the wrong way. It called to mind the word troll, in that the guy reminded me of a troll doll, on steroids. Only he stood next to my booth as if waiting for me to invite him to sit down.

“Can I help you?” I ask.

“I’m not really sure, I was wondering if you’d seen a… friend of mine around.” He asks, pushing his phone at me.

“Is he missing?” I ask.

“No. I heard he was around and hoped to catch up to him, but I heard he disappeared with your best friend.” He tells me.

“Brian normally takes guys to the loft.” I shrugged.

“I tried there, anywhere else he’d take Justin?” The guy asks.

“No… but if your worried about your friend, call him.” I say, not really liking the guy.

“It would just be easier if you could just point me in the right direction.” He tells me.

“Or I could call Brian and see if your friend is with him and let you talk to him.” I said, not planning to do it.

“It’s fine, I’m sure he’ll call me.” The guy says, getting up.

“Great, then let Brian know I said hi, or if I manage to find them first why not give me your name and I’ll mention it.” I tell him, as he left without answering. Strange?

I got up to go when my Ma came in, she kissed my cheek as usual but didn’t stop me when I left, planning to follow the guy. Only when I got out the door he’d disappeared. This was getting to be a theme in my life. I circled the block, planning on checking up on Ma, but stopped when I saw my Ben with the guy in the picture. What was it lately with blonds taking the guys in my life? I waited until they went into the diner and looked through the window, watching Ben treat the guy like he was special, and felt like an idiot once again for thinking Ben was different. I didn’t go in and cause a scene like I felt like doing, I just decided to go home. 

JUSTIN

Ben was waiting outside Brian’s loft when I left. I thought he would stay when he showed up with my laptop, but he handed it to me and left. He walked with me when I didn’t seem to want to go home, and for the first time I didn’t mind having someone around. I just didn’t want to talk about what was going on in my head. He stopped me when we reached the diner and my stomach growled. For the first time, even with everything going on in my head, I didn’t let it stop me from normal things like eating and wanting to go to sleep when we were done. For once I thought about how what I was doing to myself could affect someone else. I followed Ben to a booth and smiled at the waitress. I was starting to wonder if she ever went home. Something that in my past wouldn’t have registered to me. It was what Ben said, I was waking up. I couldn’t help but smile up at the woman who was perky at three in the morning.

“I wondered where you’ve been, but maybe you’ve just been busy.” She says, smiling at me and Ben.

“We’re not… um... he’s just... “ Ben seems at a loss.

“He’s my very older brother.” I say jokingly, kind of enjoying Ben at a loss for words, usually it’s me.

“Okay, so what can I get you?” She says, shrugging.

“He’ll have…” Ben doesn’t get to finish.

“Eggs, toast, bacon, hashbrowns with everything?” She asks me.

“Um, sure?” I say, wondering how she seemed to remember the one time I did order.

“Oatmeal and wheat toast?” She asks Ben.

“Do you remember everything?” I ask.

“I remember everyone who comes through the door, Sweetie. You I remember because I was worried about you.” She tells me.

“Why?” Ben asks when I don’t.

“It just seemed like he attracted attention when he didn’t really want any. Which, as cute as he is, would be normal.” She says, smiling at me.

“What wasn’t normal?” I ask.

“Honey, when you been serving in this joint for as many years as I have you know when people aren’t here because they came for the food or the colorful clientele. Of course it could be the questions they asked, not only about you, but about my boys. They learned fast how little anyone would tell them.” She smiled.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because no one messes with my boys, and Brian understood I wanted him to watch out for you. Which makes you one of my boys.” She says, walking off.

“How many times did you come here?” Ben asks.

“Twice.” I tell him, as she showed back up with orange juice for both of us.

“I’d get you coffee, but Sweetheart, you need to sleep. I don’t like the bags under your eyes.” She says, running her hand down my cheek. 

“I’ll sleep after we leave.” I tell her, wondering if this was what having a mother felt like.

She sat next to me, looking at me for a minute. “I’m here if you need help.” She says, before getting up and getting our food.

I sat there not understanding why she would care about me.

“There’s a world full of assholes, Justin. Sometimes you’re lucky when you meet the ones that aren’t. Don’t overthink it.” Ben tells me.

BRIAN

Michael showed up first thing in the morning, looking like someone killed Captain Astro again. I didn’t want to ask, instead I offered to take him to breakfast. He was so quiet I started to worry about him. Mikey was many things but quiet wasn’t one of them. Ted and Emmett were waiting around for us. Deb shook her head at me, when I wanted to tell her to go home.

“Brian, my friend said you need to stop by today.” Emmett tells me.

“Tell him I will after I talk to Ryder.” I tell him.

“Michael, what’s up with you?” Deb asks, as Michael has stayed silent the whole time.

“Nothing.” Was all he would say.

“Ted, you busy today?” I ask, ignoring Mikey.

“Not really.” Ted says, looking between Mikey and me. Probably wondering why I wasn’t trying to make Mikey spill about what was bothering him.

“I need your opinion on an investment, can you take the day off?” I ask.

“I doubt anyone would notice I was missing anyway.” Ted shrugs, which meant they were idiots for not seeing what they had in Ted.

“Is anyone going to ask me what’s wrong?” Mikey asks, when Deb was the only one who bothered.

“I did son.” Deb answers, rolling her eyes.

“They’re all talking about something else.” Mikey points out.

“Michael, what’s wrong?” Emmett says sarcastically.

“Nothing.” Mikey says, plowing into his breakfast.

“Great. How about we head out Ted.” I say, not planning to prod Mikey when I have other, more important things to do.

“I saw Ben with another guy this morning.” Mikey blurts out.

“Where?” I ask.

“Here. Which reminds me, there was some guy looking for the guy you took off with, which was the same guy Ben showed up here with.” Mikey seems to want to announce this to the whole diner.

“They were brothers. Jesus Michael, stop trying to make everything into something.” Deb says, irritated.

“They couldn’t be, since Ben said he didn’t have any family around here. Brian should know since he was with the guy last night too.” Mikey argues.

“Brian was just looking out for him because I asked him to, Michael.” Deb tells him.

“What’s so fucking important that everyone is running around asking about him?” Mikey mumbles.

“Who?” I ask.

“Just a couple of guys, they all think he’s up for grabs when your through with him.” Emmett tells me.

“This guy didn’t act like he was looking to screw the guy, but he was really interested in where he went.” Mikey tells me.

“Did he tell you who he was?” I ask.

“No, he took off when I suggested calling you so he could talk to the guy. I tried to follow him but ended up stopping when I couldn’t find him, only to see Ben with the man of the hour.” Mikey tells me.

“What did he look like?” I asked.

“Reminded me of a troll doll, only built. Which has me worried about what the guy Justin is into. I know you told me to stay out of it, but this Justin sounds like trouble.” Mikey says, worried.

It wasn’t Julian, since the picture I saw would have had Mikey describing him differently. I needed to make sure Mikey didn’t accidently get his ass involved in this. I cared about him, just not the way I cared about Justin.

“He’s important to me, and I know what I’m involved in. If anyone you don’t know asks anything, don’t give them any information.” I tell him.

“I make sure the rest know to close ranks.” Deb tells me, leaning down to whisper in my ear. “I like him, don’t screw it up.” She said, kissing me on the cheek.

“Ready to go Theodore?” I ask.

TED

I woke up this morning dreading going to work. And now stood in the lobby of Ryder as Brian apparently quit his job, and wasn’t even worried that he was now unemployed. He went into his office with Cynthia, when they came out minutes later, whatever he said to her had her skipping to her desk.

“I’ll take care of my resignation after you call me.” She says, smiling.

Once again I was following Brian, who should have been freaking out but was calm and ignored Ryder, who practically ran after Brian, saying he’d lose the deal if Brian did this. Brian didn’t even stop until we were standing in the elevator with Ryder practically pleading with Brian not to quit.

“Brian, Gardner will walk away. He specified you had to be part of the deal.” Ryder tells him, holding the door.

“I’m not yours to bargain with. Although I should thank you, since you didn’t bother to do what you should have and make me a partner. It made it easier to walk away and show you why you should have.” Brian tells him. Which had Ryder letting go of the door and looking worried.

“What are you planning?” I ask when we were in the car.

“Good question Theodore. How would you like to tell your boss where to go?” Brian says, as if I had hundreds of better job offers.

“I’d love to, but then I’d be unemployed.” I tell Brian, starting to worry about him.

“No, you’d be CFO of our new venture. Time to get out of the rut you live in. So what do you say, want to see what we can do?” Brian asks me.

“Only if you tell me what you’re talking about.” I tell him. Hating the idea that I couldn’t get out of the bullshit job I boxed myself into because I’m not willing to take risks.

“I was offered backing to open my own business. I’m offering you a chance to come play with me.” Brian tells me.

I was standing on a cliff, knowing if I jumped off with Brian I’d finally get what it was like to risk everything. Safety was suddenly overrated when Brian Kinney was holding his hand out to offer an adventure I’d likely never get if I didn’t leap with him.

“Can we stop by my office so I can get my stuff?” Was my answer.

BEN

Julian sat at his desk, looking ready to commit murder. Something I only noticed because he was gripping his pen hard enough to snap it as he seemed to get more news that said he wouldn’t get what he wanted. I sat outside his office as he questioned the guy, Ames, who normally followed Justin and found out Justin seemed to vanish in thin air last night.  

When I went in I had to pretend like I didn’t care the guy ran into Michael. But it was easier when the guy said Michael was clueless about Justin. Julian looked to me, and I shrugged since the plan was that Brian didn’t know anything about my time with Michael. 

“Where were you all night?” Julian asks.

“I saw Michael with Brian and went home.” I tell him.

“You could have stayed and found out where Brian and Justin went.” Ames says, trying to shift the blame on me for him losing Justin last night.

“My job is to watch him when he’s home, and it’s more time than I want to have to spend chasing the little shit around.” I tell him, as Julian answers his phone.

“Ames, don’t fuck up again.” Julian tells him, waving him out and putting the phone on speaker.

“Brian Kinney just quit this morning.” The guy tells Julian. 

“What do you mean he quit? Gardner, you had one job and it was to get him to take the deal.” Julian says, not even concealing his anger.

“Julian, I offered him everything you told me to offer. It’s not my fault you were wrong about Brian Kinney.” Gardner says, sounding scared as shit on the speaker.

“Apparently you and your buddy Ryder were wrong thinking he’d jump at the chance Ryder didn’t offer him years ago. Which means Ryder’s at fault for screwing this up, do you understand me? Let Ryder know what he’ll lose by Brian walking away. I’ll make sure he loses the rest for being wrong.” Julian warns.

“I agree, and feel I did my part when you asked.” Gardner says, sounding more confident.

“Really? You obviously didn’t sell what I asked you to, which means saying good-bye to the life you sold yourself for. Since you failed, hopefully your wife can overlook the bastard you failed to protect yourself from.” Julian says, hanging up the phone.

“Why the hell are you doing all this over Justin?” I ask.

“That’s really none of your business.” He says, looking annoyed at me.

“You have a whole department that does what he does. I’m asking because you’ve never acted like this about anyone.” I tell him, trying to sound jealous.

“Are you worried about your place in my life, or your job?” He asks.

“I’m worried because you’re acting like this thing with Brian is a big deal. Brian is likely just having fun, because it’s what he does. I spent time with his friend, and the general word on the street is that Justin hasn’t put out yet, so Brian is still interested. So I don’t get why you’re acting like it will screw up something for you.” I tell him, praying I didn’t overplay it for Julian.

“Lucky for me Justin doesn’t know what it is.” Julian says, and for the first time he sounded worried.

“I’ll go see if I can get him to say more than two words.” I tell Julian, knowing Justin was in more trouble than we knew about.

BEN

After spending time explaining to my contact that we needed someone to get caught by Julian, I needed to deal with what to do about Hunter. Justin wasn’t willing to use Hunter unless we needed to, but that meant finding some place to put Hunter that I could guarantee he’d be hidden. I needed help from a friend to make sure Hunter stayed under the radar, and knew of one person who could make sure of it for me. I understood Justin wanting to protect the kid from what Justin’s work did to his life, since my work was doing the same thing to Justin’s. I smiled when Carl sat down next to me. It had been years since he hauled my ass out of the gutter I ended up in and set me on the path to a better life. 

“I should be insulted that you’ve been here and didn’t bother to let me know.” Carl says, looking out at the kids playing around us.

“Life in the pickle factory.” I tell him.

“Why are they playing in my yard?” He asks.

“Yates.” I tell him.

“Bad guy there, protect yourself.” He tells me.

“I always do, you taught me that. I need a favor.” I tell him.

“Name it.” He tells me.

“I have a package arriving here today. I was hoping you could pick it up, feed it, and make sure no one figures out it arrived.” I tell him.

“Is it trouble?” He asks, not really concerned.

“Only if the wrong people figure it out. I promised to make it safe, and I think you’d understand him the way you understood me.” I tell him.

“You’ll tell me if you need my help. Don’t make me have to try to solve your murder.” Carl commands me.

“As far as I know murder hasn’t been one of the things he’s done.” I tell him.

“But the rest would be worse than dead.” Carl tells me, taking the newspaper between us.

“If only we could prove it.” I tell him.

“What do you know?” Carl asks.

“Apparently Justin doesn’t know what he has, and I don’t have a clue what that means.” I tell him.

“Let’s go for a walk.” Carl tells me. I smile as cops start wandering all over the place, protecting Carl of all people. Of course they don’t have a clue about the real Carl Horvath.

“I wasn’t followed.” I tell Carl.

“I’m making sure you still aren’t.” Carl tells me as we get to the car waiting for us.

“Miss the old days?” I ask.

“Not in the least. But I don’t like how they put you in the middle of something without the information you need.” He tells me.

“We thought Justin was the key. Only nothing Justin does leads us to anything to pin on Julian.” I tell him.

“Now they’re more interested in Justin than Julian?” He asks.

“Of course. But Justin isn’t built for the life they would force on him.” I tell him.

“You got attached.” Carl says, shaking his head.

“Not like that. You can’t spend as much time with someone as I have with him and not feel something about them.” I tell him.

“It's about more than Justin's interest in Brian Kinney.” He tells me, suddenly.

“How do you know anything about that?” I ask.

“The chief of police wanted me to run Brian Kinney as a favor. Something not unusual, if he hadn’t asked me to dig into Brian’s personal life. Which I might have let go, except he continued talking, like people do when they’re trying to make you buy why they’re lying to you. He claimed he just wanted to know in case he wanted to use Brian’s company for advertising for the city. So I checked into the boy for my own curiosity, and found out you were in town.” Carl tells me.

“What does Justin not know about?” I ask, because Justin dating Brian couldn’t be the reason for all of this.

“Good question. But the better question is why would Justin leaving his solitude cause all of this? Or how about, why would it matter to Julian?” Carl says, looking at me.

“I'm still coming up empty.” I tell him. 

“Think Ben. Stop seeing Justin as a person, think of him as the tool everyone wants him for. A tool no one could get to talk to them, but…” Carl said, smiling when my brain

 kicked in gear.

“...Could use him, if they were willing to deal with Julian.” I tell him, feeling like a idiot.

“Unlike the idiots who fucked in Julian’s toilet, these people could make Julian dance to their tune. Only for that to happen,  they need someone like Justin, and for Justin to stop looking through them. Why do you think Julian watches Justin the way he does?” Carl asks me.

“To keep others away from Justin. Does Julian knows about me?” I ask.

“No. Because your boss knows I’d come after him if anyone found out about you. Julian’s aware that all of the agencies are hoping to take him down, but he has enough people in his pocket to keep it from happening.” He tells me.

“Only if Justin stayed where Julian put him.” I said, thinking.

“How many people do you think would be interested in offering Justin whatever it took to change teams?” Carl asks.

“I need to get to Justin.” I tell Carl, because some of those people were worse than Julian.

“I’ll pick up Hunter.” He tells me.

“I really should have said ‘Hi’ when I came to town.” I tell him, wishing I’d contacted Carl from the beginning.

“I let you know what I find out.” He tells me.

JUSTIN

I woke up to something that smelled like heaven, which with Ben could be hit or miss. Ben’s cooking was something I ate, not wanting to know what healthy thing he hid in it. I got up, deciding I didn’t feel like getting dressed. Brian texted that he would be busy for the next couple of days. And I needed to get the programs finished to protect the guys who were going to start screwing up Julian’s day. I’d been trying to figure out a way to keep Brian and his friends out of everything, and with Brian busy it would make it easier to do what I planned to do today. I wandered into the kitchen, planning to just take the plate Ben normally sat on the table. 

“Yep, I get it.” Emmett says, looking at me in my underwear. “I thought about you know, getting a lift, but then I sort of got distracted by the floor show. Plus my Georgie likes it the way it is, but really I would love to have that to show off to the boys.” Emmett says, tilting his head at me.

“Um…”

“Oh, did I forget, Brian sort of said I should watch out for you when he couldn’t. Not that he said for me to come here today, but I figured why not, since I’m bored and felt like cooking.” Emmett tells me.

“He did? …you know there’s problems?” I ask.

“Hold on for a second.” Emmett tells me, grabbing a basket.

I follow him, not getting what he was doing. I watch as he goes out the door and starts handing people sandwiches and drinks. All six of them look surprised when Emmett approaches them. And every one of them avoids looking at me, which was probably due to the fact that I forgot I was still in my underwear standing in front of my open door.

“Let me know what you think. And if you need a personal chef I’m available.” Emmett yells at all of them as he comes back. “Baby says my cooking is to die for!” He yells, herding me back in the house, but turns out the door one more time. “Hey, if you’re all still hanging out later I’ll make sure to bring you guys some more.” Emmett says, looking at each person, before slamming the door shut. “Well that should get them all away for awhile.”

“How did you…” 

“Please, I hang around Brian Kinney. Trust me, they have nothing on the men who stalk Brian.” He tells me.

“I need to… I have work to do. Thanks for doing this, but I don’t want to keep you.” I tell him, hoping he’ll get the message.

Emmett stands in front of me, as if he is trying to figure out something about me. It’s hard for me to stand still under his scrutiny. Shifting from foot to foot, I just sit down and started eating to have something to do.

“Running isn’t the answer.” Emmett says, sitting across from me.

“Running?” I ask.

“You have the look I had all my life growing up in Hazelhurst. I get it, trust me. But you need to get that you have people willing to do whatever it takes to help you. Brian said it to Michael; he knows what being involved with you means to him, and he’s willing to stand with you. Do him a favor and don’t disappoint him by thinking running off is protecting him.” Emmett tells me.

“You don’t get it. It’s not just about him, but all of you. His son,... shit, anyone in his life. Julian has the kind of money and power to make all of you wish I’d just disappear. If I’d had a clue what letting someone in my life could do, I would have locked myself in this house. I can’t change what I did, but I can take whatever this is away from all of you.” I tell him, trying to get him to understand.

“You really think we’d let you go? Honey, we protect ours. Which you are now, because Brian wants it. Use that giant brain of yours and figure out a way to do what you need to with our help.” Emmett tells me.

I got up and Emmett followed me to my office, like he thought I’d run if he didn’t. I got answers from everyone and sent each what they needed to get away with what they were going to start doing today. 

“If you want to stay, sit there and do whatever you do.” I tell him, waiting for the systems to crash.

“I talk.” He shrugs.

“Go for it. Just don’t get insulted if I don’t answer you.” I tell him.

“I think we’re going to be great friends. So, Teddy called me to tell me about Brian offering him a…” The rest of what he said was just white noise. 

JULIAN

I really didn’t like Stockwell, but then I doubt he liked me either. He was one of those who stuck by his wife, was the perfect father, and generally didn’t have anything I could use, yet. I had no plans to help the fucker, but he had his uses. He’d covered up bashings and other things, but then, I honestly didn’t give a shit about it. I only kept him in my circle because he supplied me with information, and in the end it would point back to him. 

“So what do you think?” He asks, barely concealing the fact that he hated dealing with me.

“About?” I ask, since I hadn’t listened to a word he said when he came in.

“I plan to run for mayor. With all the favors I’ve done for you, it’s time for you to help me.” He tells me. Making me want to laugh that he thought he held any power over me.

“I’ll think about it, but you have yet to get me anything I could use.” I tell him.

“Other than he’s well known in the community, there’s nothing but a family he barely talks to.” He tells me.

“I keep hitting a wall when it comes to him.” I said out loud, not really to the moron in front of me.

“If you’d tell me why you want the information, then maybe I could help more.” He hints.

My door opens and one of the idiots in IT is standing there, looking like he was about to shit his shorts having to talk to me. My first thought is ‘YOUR FIRED’, for just walking into my office.

“I’m sorry… but we’re being attacked. They managed to crash our network. And all our computers are frozen.” He tells me.

I look at my screen, which is frozen, but I hadn’t noticed because Stockwell was annoying me. “Have you sent this to Justin?” I ask.

“Sir, we can’t unfreeze our computers and you’ve told us Justin is only to be contacted by you.” He says, pissing me off that he reminded me of my own rule.

“We can talk about this later.” Stockwell says, getting up.

“Did you find out anything at all?” I ask Stockwell, as I am dialing.

“He has a son with two lesbians, but I didn’t think you would care about that.” He tells me.

“Send me the information about the kid.” I tell him, as he walks out.

Justin's phone just went straight to voicemail, so I dialed Ben to get Justin on this. The IT guy was standing there hopping from foot to foot, making me want to kick his ass for still being there. 

“Julian?” Ben asks.

“I need you to get Justin to get my system back on line and hand me the head of the asshole who took it down.” I order, hanging up. I look at the idiot still standing in my office. “Is there some reason I pay you?” I ask.

“Um… the thing is… well…” He stammers.

“The longer it takes you to tell me the more likely you’ll be saying ‘would like fries with that’.” I tell him.

“I managed to find one of the hackers.” He tells me, handing me a paper.

“One?” I ask.

“We were being hit left and right, before the system crashed. This one I managed to trace.” He tells me.

I looked at the paper, not recognizing this name. I sent Justin a text to find out who Daphne Chanders is.

JUSTIN

I sat there looking at the text message Ben sent, which I had ignored to finish installing the program to bring Julian’s system up. When the program finished, I answered Julian’s tenth call.    

“Who is Daphne Chanders?” Julian asked, angry since I hadn’t answered him for hours.

“I’ve been busy with getting your systems back online. Have one of the others look into her.” I told him.

“I want you to do it. Apparently she’s sending them on a chase after first making it easy for them.” Julian tells me, before cursing up a storm when the system failed again. “Why isn’t this fixed?” He asked.

“Sorry, I just wanted to make sure there weren’t any other problems. Okay, all fixed.” I told him, happy that this program could take it all down anytime I wanted it to.

“Now find out where I can find that woman.” Julian ordered, hanging up.

I put the phones in my desk, only taking the burner phone that I bought, and texted Brian the number before leaving the house. I planned to find out about Daphne, not for Julian, but for myself. The last time Daphne and I talked she kicked me out of her life. She was my first and only friend, not that I made it easy for her. I tried my usual with her and ignored her the first semester of college, but for some reason she kept at me. I didn’t get it, why bother with the recluse when she was overflowing with friends? She seemed to understand that I wasn’t comfortable around too many people and didn’t invite friends when she hung out with me. We seemed to do fine until one night Daphne told me she couldn’t deal with my shit anymore. I didn’t ask her what changed between us, just went back to the life I had before, without anyone close. The last time I saw her she made a point of sitting with the group of students instead of her usual seat next to me. 

I sent Daphne a message through her online name, not the fucking one she goes by in real life. What the hell was she thinking? For a second I thought about having her help me take off until I found out what Ben needed for Julian, but couldn’t do it. Even with never having a real relationship I got it. Leaving Brian even when I thought it was to protect him, would only make him feel like I didn’t trust him to protect me. I waited at the library for Daphne to show up, wondering what to do about my former friend. 

“I’ll give it to your boss, he’s persistent, but lazy.” Daphne says in my ear as she sits down next to me in the library.

“Why did you let them catch you?” I ask, instead of why was she here helping.

“Because you wouldn’t have invited me to help otherwise. They didn’t catch me, I let them.” Daphne blew off.

“He knows your name, why would you do that?” I ask.

“Because I knew you would at least show up to ask me what I was doing. I would have made it harder, but I wanted to see you.” She tells me.

“The last time we saw each other you told me to go to hell.” I tell her.

“I was angry, but in the end it was my fault and not yours. I wanted things you didn’t.” She tells me.

“Like what?” I ask.

“I wanted the guy who I had a crush on to feel the same way. Only you didn’t, so I acted like a spoiled child and wanted you to hurt the way I did.” She tells me.

“It did hurt, so you got what you wanted.” I tell her, ready to leave.

“No, what I got was to see that losing you as my friend was actually worse.” She tells me.

“Yet it’s been years and now you want to what, be friends again?” I ask her, hating that I would forgive her after being left alone again.

“I have always been your friend. Even when I was acting like a complete asshole to you. It was just too hard to be around you knowing I couldn’t have what I wanted. Like I said, I acted like a spoiled child and I shoved you out the door, treating you like everyone else did. Something you didn’t deserve from me. But at the time I only cared about how I felt. When I heard what you were up to, I decided to help. So I made it easy for you to find me and to give you the choice of whether you wanted to bother with me or not.” She tells me.

“I don’t even know what I’m dealing with.” I tell her.

“What do you know?” She asks.

“Julian takes the information I give him and uses it to make people do what he wants them to do. I never bothered to look past my job to see what he was doing to people.” I tell her.

“What made you do it now?” She asks.

“I didn’t like the way Julian reacted to me having my own life. Which feels like a selfish reason. Everything was fine until I started spending time with Brian.” I tell her.

“You mean you didn’t bother with people, and now that you are, that’s a problem for your boss?” She asks me.

“And now my boss is acting like a jealous boyfriend, when before he never showed any interest in me.” I tell her.

“That you know of. You’ve never been good at reading people.” She tells me.

“I do notice when someone is interested.” I tell her.

“So what? You ignored that I was?” She asks.

“I didn’t think you would be, since you knew I was gay.” I point out.

“Good point. But how did we get from you dating a guy to you declaring war on your boss?” She asks.

“The guy my boss hired to pretty much spy on me started hanging out with Brian’s friends, in order to get something Julian could use to get Brian out of my life.” I tell her.

“You know this how?” She asks.

“Ben isn’t really on Julian’s side, he’s trying to put Julian behind bars. But the fact that Julian wanted Ben to find something pissed me off.” I tell her.

“It's not the only reason.” She tells me. Amazing me that she could still tell other things bothered me. 

“I feel guilty as hell about my part in Julian’s game. Everyone tells me the people I caught weren’t innocent. But all this time I didn’t bother to find out what Julian was doing.” I tell her. 

“Why would you? Your job was security, not justice. Look at the bigger picture. The people Julian did anything to had bigger secrets than just hacking Julian.” She tells me. 

“One was a kid who just wanted to meet me. He's only guilty of being born to an asshole. Somehow Julian used that to try and get Brian out of my life.” I tell her. 

“What is attacking Julian’s system about?” She asks. 

“It gave me a way to change the security in Julian’s systems without him questioning what was being done.” I tell her. 

“What did you do?” She asks excitedly. 

“Made it so Julian has as much privacy in his office as he gave me in my private life.” I tell her. 

BRIAN 

It really brought home how little privacy Justin has when he disappeared. Emmett made it easier on me, since he was keeping an eye on Justin, even though I hadn’t told him to. He texted me when he helped Justin take off. Apparently he provided a distraction while Justin went out the back. All Justin would say was he needed to find out what someone was doing. And Emmett, always willing to help anyone, agreed to help him. I planned to go find out what Justin was up to after the meetings at George’s house with Ted. I’d been busy with clients who were willing to walk with me, since they put it in the contracts that they could cancel if I wasn’t in charge of their accounts. It wasn’t all of the ones I brought to Ryder, but enough to make the man sweat buckets. It would also leave Gardner buying a company worth half as much. And for the kid Justin was worried about, I planned to make it worth even less by the time I was done. 

Emmett called Ted and said for all of us to meet him at Woody’s later, but didn’t mention anything about Justin. I called Justin’s phone only to have Ben answer it, wanting to know where Justin was.

“He went to find out something, that’s all Emmett or I know.” I tell him.

“I talked to an old friend who lives here and if he’s right Justin might be meeting a lot of people who would love to get him on their teams. Only Julian said Justin didn’t know what he had. Justin knows people want him to work for them, so I don’t think that’s what Julian’s worried about. And I can tell you, Julian is worried.” Ben tells me.

“Have you told Justin anything?” I ask.

“I haven’t seen him to tell him. I went to my friend to take care of the other thing, like YOU told me to.” He said sarcastically.

“I’ll find him and call you to meet with us.” I tell him, hanging up to call the other number Justin gave me.

“Brian, I thought you were busy.” Justin said, answering as soon as it rang.

“I just got finished, only to find out everyone is looking for you.” I tell him.

“I needed to find out what someone was doing. Now I need to find a place to put her.” Justin tells me, as someone seems to disagree. “I wasn’t saying you can’t help, but since you pretty much gave them a road map to find you, you get to hide.” Justin said, while I was laughing at the ease with which he seemed to talk to whoever this was.

“How about I pick you guys up and we figure it out?” I ask him.

“I want you to know I thought about running.” Justin said quietly.

“Why didn’t you?” I asked, curious.

“Because of you. I didn’t want to do something that made you doubt how important you are to me.” Justin whispered.

BRIAN

I dropped Justin off at his house to talk to Ben, and was told by Ben where to take Daphne. I was going to ask George, but Ben assured me no one would think to look at Carl Horvath. I took my time getting her to the house where she’d be staying, wanting to talk to her.

“Until you, Justin didn’t seem to have anyone.” I tell her.

“He didn’t, with the way I acted when we were in college.” She tells me.

“What happened?” I ask, curious.

“I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings for him, and treated him like shit for not feeling the same way. I didn’t want to believe he was really gay, since he didn’t show any interest in anyone but me. Although it was more me pestering him to death and not letting him ignore me the way he ignored everyone else. I think he gave in just to shut me up. How did you managed to get him to fall in love with you?” She asks.

“I don’t know if he is.” I tell her.

“He’s willing to lose everything for you. I think that says he’s more than mildly interested in you.” She tells me.

“I don’t want him giving up anything to be with me. I’d rather walk away than do that to him.” I tell her.

“Which would just reaffirm to him that he’s right, that no one thinks he’s worth keeping. Justin didn’t just become the way he was because people treated him like shit. It was always feeling unwanted that kept him from trying. It started with his parents dropping him off like garbage, to people only paying attention when he did tricks for them. In college, none of the teachers tried to talk to him, likely because they felt inferior to him. Nothing they taught was anything he didn’t know already. They didn’t get that he took their courses because he was impressed with them. Which is what he told me when I asked why he bothered when he could take the exams and bypass the courses. I really didn’t understand how people couldn’t see how special he really was. His mind isn’t the total sum of him. He needed someone to see the person no one bothered to see. He’s funny, sweet, and when he cares about you, there’s nothing he won’t do to help you. Which I threw away, over wanting him to want me in a way he couldn’t. I saw something I’ve never seen in him when he talked about you and his asshole boss. He’s determined to be with you.” She tells me.

“He’s thinks he needs to protect me. That’s not something I’m used to.” I tell her.

“Get used to it, he’s been doing it all his life... protecting people.” She tells me.

Justin’s conversation with Mel jumped into my head. “He’s been helping others by making sure they catch the people hurting their businesses?” I ask.

“Justin hated seeing people lose everything they worked their asses off for just because some asshole wanted easy money. I told him we should do something about it. Which is what we did most days we spent together. He sent the information to the right people; people I investigated, so we didn’t hand the information to someone who could use it the same way.” She tells me.

“You didn’t investigate Julian?” I ask.

“At that point, Justin and I weren’t talking to each other anymore. And we all would have been willing to sign without question if Julian Yates wanted us to work for him. The college treated him like royalty. So why wouldn’t the students trust their deans about jobs?” She says, shrugging.

“Nothing Justin was doing was illegal.” I tell her.

 “Julian would have been an idiot if he thought Justin would.” She tells me.

“Why?” I ask.

“Justin might not have taken credit for what he did, but there are very few hackers who could get in and out without a footprint of some kind. Justin never enters into a system the same way twice, and he wipes out anything that can point to him. He’s that good. But it’s also a signature of his hacking abilities. It’s how I always knew it was him when he sent the information.” She tells me.

“Which you know how, since the information was sent to the authorities, right?” I ask.

“Well yeah, where else would he send it?” She asks me.

“Then how do you know?” I ask.

“I need you not to tell Justin, he’ll try to stop me.” She tells me.

“Tell him what?” I ask, pretty much knowing.

“I’m the one they sent to get caught. I’m surprised Justin didn’t figure it out yet, since I could have used three other names and he would have known it was me.” She tells me.

“Ben doesn’t know who you are?” I ask.

“We don’t work in the same area, and our paths never crossed. They needed someone as good as Justin, and I’m pretty much it, since I learned it from Justin.” She tells me.

“I can’t lie to him.” I tell her.

“After I get caught, tell him. But don’t let him try to stop it.” She tells me, as we stop in front of Carl’s house. 

“You have some explaining to do little girl.” Carl tells her, enveloping her in a hug.

“Hey, can I do that?” A kid says, eyeing Daphne.

“Babysitting?” Daphne asks.

“Watching the kid eat like he’s never seen food. Daphne meet Hunter.” Carl tells her.

“I’m not a kid. I thought I was supposed to meet Justin.” Hunter tells Carl.

“He’s busy. But how about you show me what you can do?” Daphne tells him.

“I have mad skills.” Hunter says, smirking.

“I need to talk to Brian.” Carl tells them.

I wasn’t sure why, but I stayed while Hunter took Daphne in the house. Carl started walking to his garage, expecting me to follow him. When we got in he closed and locked the door, before turning to me.

“You need to make sure to protect the ones you love.” He tells me.

“There’s nothing in my life anyone could use to hurt them. I’ve lived my life in the open, there’s nothing people don’t know about me.” I tell him.

“I found that out when Stockwell wanted you investigated. But I wanted to warn you about being careful from here on out. There are a lot of cops who will do things if asked by the chief and harassing a gay man isn’t a big deal to them.” He tells me.

“What does Justin know?” I ask.

“Son, if I knew I’d have taken care of it. Up until now, there was nothing to pin on Julian. I talked to Hunter about his dealing with Julian. Nothing Hunter heard can be verified, since the only people who heard it were Hunter, Julian, and Gardner Vance. Unfortunately for Hunter, no one is going to believe the kid who hacked into Julian’s system. Julian will likely say he let the kid off with a warning, and Gardner would likely say whatever Julian wants him to say. The information Justin would have given Julian would say Hunter was only running his mouth. Which the kid does.” He tells me.

“Did Hunter tell you why he wanted to meet Justin?” I ask.

“He wanted to know how to deal with not having parents who gave a shit and still manage to succeed in life.” Carl tells me.

“Tell him it’s by not letting anyone tell him what he’s capable of, and by wanting it.” I tell him.

“He wants to help Justin.” He tells me.

“Then tell him to wait until Justin tells him what to do.” I tell him.

“I have a feeling Justin is going to do everything not to ask him.” Carl tells me.

“If he has to, I’ll do everything to keep the kid from getting hurt.” I tell him.

“Why?” He asks.

“Because Justin wants it.” I tell him simply.

JUSTIN

I sat in my office trying to figure out what Ben was talking about. Julian never gave me anything. And the things he confided in me weren’t state secrets. We didn’t have that kind of relationship. It was just business. What the hell would I know that could scare the crap out of Julian? The man was one of the rich and powerful, and I was in reality just an IT guy. 

“Julian owns companies all over the world, from fashion to pharmaceuticals, nothing but normal businesses. There were accounts that could be questioned, and had been, only to find nothing.” I tell Ben.

“There has to be something you’ve either seen or stumbled across at one time.” Ben tells me. 

“If there was, it wasn’t like I delved into it. I don’t really care about financials. I rarely deal with that system, since it’s a system that he keeps in house. Which a lot of companies do because it’s harder to get into a closed system.” I tell him.

“Hard, but not impossible. What if there was something in his financials, something you might have run across?” He tells me.

“I’ve only bothered with the system when the guys who run it can’t figure out what’s wrong. Even so I’d have to spend more time than I did to find out what to look at. I could look at the numbers and find things that don’t fit, but then I’d need someone who could tell me why.” I tell him.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve ever admitted you would need help.” Ben says, smiling.

“Look, I get numbers, and like anyone else, can add and subtract to know something isn’t right, but forensic accounting isn’t something you just know how to do. It also never really interested me.” I tell him.

“Yet you’ve managed to catch people stealing money?” He asks.

“Ben, it’s different. One day the money is there, the next it’s gone. If I’m right, we’d need to see money that shouldn’t be there. Julian runs a lot of companies, all of which he keeps clean. It can’t be those because he wouldn’t offer to open his books if they were anything but what they expected. And again, I don’t have anything to do with them.” I tell him.

“Why don’t you?” He asks.

“They’ve rarely asked for my help. The last time they did it was weeks before they admitted they needed it. I found out the guy who was running it had been playing games online while working. Which allowed people into the system that would have been closed otherwise.” I tell him.

“It’s just that Julian is about power and money. It’s the only thing that could scare him. That you know something that could tear his house down to the ground.” Ben tells me.

“Maybe it’s not something, but someone.” I tell him.

“Who?” I ask.

“If I knew do you think we’d be sitting here? You keep saying Julian’s been acting out of character with me. But he’s monitored my life since I came to work for him, never really getting involved with me.” I tell him.

“Until recently, yes.” Ben tells me.

“The last time I went to his company was a few weeks ago, normally I can do things here.” I tell him.

“Okay, but why would you think that would have anything to do with what’s happening now?” He asks.

“Because of the timing. I don’t think it has anything to do with Brian or jobs, but something he thinks I saw while I was there.” I tell him.

“Did you see anything?” He asks.

“Just people coming and going while I worked on the system. I really didn’t pay any attention to most of them.” I tell him.

“What did you pay attention to?” He asks while I was thinking about it.

“There was this one guy who sat around the reception area, but he didn’t ask to see Julian or anyone else. I honestly didn’t think much about him except that he didn’t look like he belonged. I mean, most of the people who come there are dressed for a meeting. This guy was rumpled and looked like he was hung over. The guy looked at me in a way that bothered me, but I just walked into the security room and started working. Like I said, I really didn’t think much about him, and would have forgotten him if Julian hadn’t looked angry to see him. But they got in an elevator together. I was curious, so I watched them in the elevator.” I tell him.

“Is that all?” Ben asked.

“Well, Julian came right back without really going anywhere, and the guy was gone. Then Julian’s mood took a downhill turn. He came in, saw me, and told the security guy he wanted to see him in his office. The guy came back as if nothing was wrong and I went back to work.” I tell him.

“Who was the guy?” Ben asked.

“I’ve never seen him before, but then I rarely go to the office.” I tell him.

“Can you describe the guy?” He asks.

“Sure, but why not just show him to you.” I tell him, looking up the footage. “It’s gone.” I tell 

Ben.

“Julian’s not the only one with footage.” Ben tells me, texting someone.

“All it would prove was the guy was in the building.” I tell him.

“At least we’d know if this was what Julian was worried about. Did Julian try to ask you about it?” He asks.

“Not that I know of. The security guy made a joke about people and the way the dressed, but I thought it he was talking about me and ignored him.” I tell him.

“At least if he comes back we’ll be able to show he and Julian interacted.” Ben tells me, happy about the spyware I installed in Julian’s system.

Ben and I waited around for someone to answer him and when they did Ben showed me the picture of the guy.

“That’s him, but who is he?” I asked.

“The owner of Babylon. But he’s into some seriously fucked up shit. Like Julian, he manages to skate around being arrested, or maybe Julian makes sure he doesn’t get arrested.” Ben tells me.

“Why would he?” I ask.

“That’s what we need to find out. Because if Julian’s involved with him, we’d have him on something much worse. Sapperstein has a rap sheet a mile long, but none of it sticks. The police have only been able to get him on letting minors into the club, but they suspect he’s involved in trafficking, not only drugs, but people.” He tells me.

“Why can’t they pin anything on him?” I ask.

“Everything they’ve looked into leads to a dead end. Most of the kids who are disappearing are street kids, which isn’t unusual because street kids move on.” Ben tells me.

“Even if they do, shouldn’t the cops at least try to find out where they went?” I ask him.

“In a perfect world, yes. It’s just not easy to get street kids to talk to a cop, because they haven’t seen anything good come of it. If one of them disappears, no one comes running to file a report. They just continue to do what they need to in order to survive another night.” Ben tells me.

“Which leaves them potential victims to someone like Sapperstein. Because no one cares if they disappear.” I tell him, angry.

“Only Sapperstein doesn’t have the kind of money that it would take to transport people and get them out of the country.” He tells me.

“Julian does, and he has the kind of contacts for it too.” I tell him.

“Other than that you saw them together, we still have to link them.” Ben tells me.

“Tell Daphne to keep them busy, since I need Julian worried about something other than me right now.” I tell him.

“What are you going to do?” Ben asks.

“Find a way to make something stick to Sapperstein.” I tell him.

“It might not help us with Julian. So far anyone caught refuses to give up Julian.” Ben tells me.

“I honestly could care less. For me it’s about the forgotten kids. They deserve to know that they aren’t invisible. If Julian’s involved, trust me I won’t let him get off. They need to know they aren’t alone in life. And that for once, someone sees them.” I tell him.

BRIAN

Justin called to let me know he was on his way to Woody’s. We agreed there was no reason to hide the fact that we were seeing each other. At first Ben didn’t plan to come because he wasn’t sure if being seen with us was a good idea, especially since we didn’t want Mikey involved. But he didn’t like the idea of Justin wandering around without someone watching him. At that point, I didn’t care about anything but making sure Justin was safe. Mikey would just have to deal with it. 

Emmett saved us a table while Ted ordered the first round. Ted was excited about our venture and wondered why Justin wanted to talk to him when I told him. Justin asked me to wait for him to get there before asking any questions. Since Mikey told Emmett he had to work late tonight, it meant we could talk without worrying about Mikey freaking out.

Justin walked into Woody’s looking nervous, something he never did when he followed me to Babylon. Thinking about it, I realized that at Babylon he knew where he was going and didn’t have to pay attention to the people around him. He’d never followed me here, so he didn’t have a direction to follow. I got up to go get him when he didn’t see me at first. Ben came in looking relieved because the bar was busy tonight. I saw Ben look at one guy, who watched as we walked to the table at the other side of the bar. Justin didn’t look anywhere but at me once he saw me.

“He’s one of the guys that watches Justin. His name is Ames, he’ll do whatever Julian wants.” Ben whispered as we made our way to Emmett.

“As long as he stays where he is we should be able to talk.” I said when we sat down.

“Not to worry, I told some guys to keep him busy.” Emmett tells us, seeing Ben looking confused. “I’ve spent the day with Baby and that guy showed up a few times, so since you guys are trying to keep everything on the down low, I made a point of remembering anyone who was around. Between Deb and I, we will keep them running in circles if they try to get too close.” Emmett tells us.

We watched as the guys crowded Ames in, and Ted sat so he could watch the guy in case he got any closer. I wanted to laugh at the way my friends rallied around Justin, but didn’t because they were proving to me that the men I considered family felt the same way about me and anyone they knew was important to me.

“What did you two figure out?” I asked.

“I… think…” Justin kept looking at everyone stumbling, which was hard to hear because he’d been doing well with people lately. 

I made him stop looking at everyone else and just at me. “It’s just you and me, don’t look at anyone but me.” I tell him.

“I think Julian is worried about me seeing him with Gary Sapperstein” Justin says, keeping his eyes only on me.

“The Sapp?” Emmett asks.

“Why would it matter?” Ted asks.

“Sapperstein in general wouldn’t be someone anyone in business would want to admit knowing.” I said.

“He’s also been investigated continuously because the FBI thinks he might be trafficking people.” Ben tells us.

“It makes sense… a few weeks before I started following you to Babylon, I saw him at Yates’ office. I didn’t know who he was, but Ben confirmed it. I started following you to Babylon, a place I never went.” Justin tells me.

“I’m sure Sapp would have noticed Justin.” Emmett tells us.

“What do you mean Sapp is trafficking people?” Ted asks, as if he didn’t want to believe it.

“We don’t have proof, but there are kids who have gone missing and the last time anyone saw them was at Babylon.” Ben tells us.

“Doesn’t anyone look for them?” Emmett asks.

Justin stopped looking at me, and in his anger over what Emmett asked, he didn’t have a problem giving him the answer.

“Why bother, they’re kids who live on the street. From what Ben tells me the cops just decide the kids moved on. Why bother with a bunch of kids cops would rather not deal with? They just make up excuses for what happens to them.” Justin tells him.

“Justin, that’s not what I meant. It’s hard for them to investigate when no one is willing to tell them the kids disappeared.” Ben tells him, as Emmett snorts. “The kids are transient, and when they leave it’s not like they have anyone who knows who they are or where they go.” Ben tells him. 

“Or no one bothers to ask the right person.” Emmett tells him.

“The cops have tried to talk to the other kids.” Ben tells him.

“Who would they need to talk to?” Justin asks.

“Our mother.” I tell him.

“Yeah, if there is one person who knows everyone it’s Deb.” Ted tells them.

“Can we talk to her?” Justin asks.

“We need to worry about you.” Ben tells him.

“I’m sure you do, but those kids need someone to worry about them, since no one seems to give a shit.” Justin tells him, trying to get up.

“We’ll help not only the kids your worrying about, we’ll we also help you. But it won’t change that I want you safe.” I tell him.

Justin leaned into me, putting his head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him, when he seemed to need someone to hold him together.

“They’re alone, no one even looking for them. What’s happening to them is because they have no one who cares.” Justin whispered to me, while I felt the tears on my shoulder.

“You do. And so will the rest of us. You're not alone anymore.” I tell him.

“Baby, we’ll help.” Emmett tells him.

“Let’s get out of here, while the guy is trapped.” Ted tells us.

“I needed to… ask..” 

“Ask me when we get out of here, and the answer is yes.” Ted tells Justin.

“Where are we going?” Justin asks me.

“My place, since no one would think Brian would bother with me.” Ted tells us.

Only Ted didn't know he was wrong. It's why I kept him around, because I did care about him.

JUSTIN

Ben went with Emmett and Ted, Brian wanted me to go with him. I thought about how easy it was to let Brian help me when I was falling apart over kids who were lost out there. I knew somehow that Brian understood. He didn’t have to hear me say it, that in them I saw me, I could have been one of them. The only difference was I got lucky with the people who took care of me. I was lucky because the only commodity people saw in me was my mind, not my body.

“Let it go. We can’t do anything right now.” Brian tells me, as I watched his hands turn white on the steering wheel.

“I will when you do.” I tell him.

Brian’s hands relaxed on the steering wheel. “I can’t help thinking of the times I left you standing on the catwalk to go get my dick sucked. What if Sapp had decided to do something then?” Brian says, as if it would have been his fault.

“He didn’t. And playing ‘what if’ isn’t going to do anything but make you feel like shit.” I tell him.

“Just like what happened to the street kids isn’t your fault. In the world, assholes like Sapp get away with anything because the world is full of assholes who are like him. People like Julian find them and use them to kept their hands clean.” Brian tells me.

“When I didn’t know, you’re right, it wasn’t. But now that I do, if I ignore it the way I have everything most of my life, then it is my fault. Living in ignorance is an excuse, one that I won’t use anymore. According to everyone I’m ‘exceptional’, but yet what does that mean when the things I did hurt people's lives? So what if they did other things, it was me who put them on Julian’s radar.” I tell him.

“You did the job you were paid to do. You weren’t responsible for what Julian did or what the people themselves did. Don’t use Hunter to prove your point. You had no clue about Hunter's past. All you knew was that he hacked into a system you were hired to protect. Julian is the one who managed to find Gardner. Remember that, because you're taking blame for something you didn’t do. You’re also playing ‘what if’ in your head, because your life turned out differently.” He tells me. 

“How do you know that’s what I’m thinking?” I ask.

“Because there was a time it could have been me if I hadn’t found the right people in my life.” He tells me.

“I want this to just be about me, not what it’s becoming. I could handle it because the things I did in my life at least would make sense in my head.” He tells me.

“Justin you didn’t do anything other than your job.” He points out again.

“What I was doing with Daphne wasn’t my job.” I tell him.

“What you were doing with Daphne was in hopes to help and do good. Don’t turn it into something else.” He tells me, parking the car.

“If what Ben and I think is true, this is going to be bigger than helping a few businesses.” I tell him.

“I’ll stand next to you and help you in any way I can, for the kids as well as for you.” Brian tells me, kissing me.

TED

Justin took a few minutes before talking to me. He was surprised when I told him yes without even knowing what he needed me to do. I trusted Brian and Emmett and knew they wouldn’t ask me to do something if they didn’t agree with it. At first I didn’t know what to think of the guy who seemed to have a hard time talking to me. It was just me, Ted Schmidt. I intimidated no one, but I understood it wasn’t that Justin was intimidated but actually shy in a way, unless it was Brian or Ben. I sat there not knowing what to think of the way Brian knew what Justin needed without being asked. I pretty much knew then that Justin was different for Brian. At first I sort of saw Justin as another Michael in Brian’s life, but Brian didn’t talk down to Justin, just helped Justin focus. On top of that, Brian never looked at Michael the way he’s been looking a Justin. I really didn’t know what to think when Emmett told me Brian and Justin were still at first base. I mean the guy is beautiful, almost angelic looking, and I’m not the only one who notices it. I’d seen Justin in Babylon before, but as usual I ignored him, because guys that look like Brian and Justin don’t look at guys like me. That brought me out of my thoughts because there was one other person who we could talk to, if I could find him.

I waited because I wanted to know what Justin needed to ask of me. “You wanted to ask me something?” 

“Ben wanted to know if there was something in Julian’s financials. I can find anomalies, but not tell you what makes them significant. If Julian’s in this with Sapperstein, the money needs to be funneled somewhere.” Justin says, looking at Brian's hand in his.

“In a lot of those cases the money flows in and out. It makes it so the money can be accounted for, then it’s assigned a purpose that would look right on paper.” I tell him.

“I’m not in that system often enough to know what to look for, but if I could get you in, could you work with me on it?” Justin asks.

“He can work with me on it. We need to make sure the chain of evidence stays clean too.” Ben tells him.

“I have to make sure no one figures out we are in the system. Daphne can do that if you trust her.” Justin said, looking at Brian.

“We don’t need another hacker involved, the less outside the law we go the better it will be. Julian has the kind of lawyers who will dig up everything we did.” Ben tells him.

“When they dig at Daphne what will they find?” Brian asks Justin.

“Depends on what name they look up, two of them are why the CIA recruited her.” Justin tells him.

“Why didn’t you tell her you knew?” Brian asks him, losing all of us.

“What are you talking about?” Ben asked.

“I told you Julian could only catch me if he had someone as smart as me.” Justin tells him.

“I remember, but what does this have to do with Daphne Chanders?” Ben asked.

“She’s the only one I could think of that would help.” Justin says, like it made sense to us.

“Why didn’t you act like you knew what she does?” Brian asks.

“She was doing this to help me, and to try to say she was sorry. I was giving her a way to know I accepted without her having to tell me it was also her job. I kept up with her, even when she wanted nothing to do with me. I wanted to make sure if she needed me, I was there. That even when she wanted nothing to do with me, I was still there.” Justin tells him.

“She’s the one your guys are using to get caught.” Brian tells Ben.

“We have to tell Carl.” Ben tells him.

“Carl seemed to already know her.” Brian tells him.

“Who’s Carl?” Emmett asks.

“He’s a homicide detective at Pittsburgh PD, and he’s also the man who recruited me when I was making a mess of my life. He retired, saying he wanted out of the spy game, but he couldn’t just sit on the sidelines, so he went into the police force. But he still watches over the ones he liked, me and I guess your friend Daphne.” Ben tells us.

“Then get Daphne to help me find what you need me to look at, and I’ll get you what you need.” I tell them.

“If she gets caught, we’ll try to keep you out of it.” Justin tells me.

“If you can’t I’m good with doing what I can to help.” I tell him.

“Why?” Justin asks.

“Because I’ve spent my life playing safe and all it got me was an office the size of a closet. And that I spend my time in a club where the owner treats people like commodities to sell to the highest bidder. Take your pick, but I don’t care what it takes if we can get one of those kids out of the hell they likely live in. I always saw my job as boring, but by helping you it makes what I can do make a difference in the larger scheme of things. But none of that is why I want to help, it’s because for once Brian asked for something, and I know someone who will talk to me.” I tell him.

“Blake?” Emmett asks.

“He’s someone the kids would trust, since he’s been one of them most of his life.” I tell them.

“Deb could tell us what we need to know.” Emmett tells me, and I know he’s worried about the effect Blake has on me.

“Yes, but Blake could warn the others to stay away. Something Deb would do but they don’t always listen to her.” I tell him.

“Do you even know where to find him?” Emmett asks.

“Not yet, but I know the people he knows, so I should be able to find him.” I tell him, wishing this wasn’t how to locate Blake.

“You really think he would help you?” Brian asks.

“I know you guys don’t have any faith in Blake, but you don’t know him the way I do. He honestly cares about the people.” I tell them.

“He also leaves people when it could get him in trouble and takes off when you wanted to help him.” Emmett tells me.

“I’m willing to try if it could help us with all of this.” I tell him.

“I guess it means we find Blake.” Emmett tells us, having faith in me.

LINDSAY

I’m still trying to figure out why I let my mother talk me into showing up for the weekly dinner at the club. I could be home with Mel, cooking dinner while we marvel at all the things Gus did today. Instead I dressed up and showed up on time to this bullshit dinner my mother likes to have to show off Lynette’s new spousal support check. Something she never did for me after Mel came into my life. What’s strange is it no longer hurts that she can’t accept the woman I’ve been with for ten years, yet wants to celebrate that Lynette’s once again snagged a husband. I remember being jealous of the way my mother treated Lynette like the princess for doing everything she wanted. Only now it makes me laugh. I don’t need her to approve of me or Mel, because what we have makes what she expects a joke. Which is why I question my need to be reminded why I finally stopped caring about this farce, as Brian calls it. I guess for me it’s that I’m happy no longer looking for mother’s approval. That is what I celebrate when I show up.

Mother looked around as we sat down, like a queen in her court. I watched as she nodded to the right people, offering false smiles to the ones that weren’t the right people, but had the money to mingle. Why she sees herself above them is beyond me, since she married into money. My mother’s family was middle class all the way, perfectly nice people, but people my mother left behind in her pursuit of wealth. My father’s family was everything my mother strives to be, yet my father would rather be around my mother’s family. I spent my life trying to figure out what made my father marry my mother, but in the end I believe he really loves her. He doesn’t always agree with her, but he never openly disagrees with her. Which was apparent in his sneaking off to spend time with Gus, while my mother thinks he’s playing golf. Daddy jokes it’s because I managed the one thing she couldn’t, I had a son. Which never made sense to Daddy because he loved us just for being his children. I guess I come for my dad, since he is proud of me. Which I see in his eyes every time my mother talks about Princess Lynette. He loves Lynette but told me that her ability to get married over and over wasn’t something he saw as an accomplishment. 

I looked up from my musings to see my mother’s eyes light up. Turning I saw Julian Yates, who I decided to dislike after meeting Brian’s Justin. It wasn’t like I liked him before, I just didn’t care one way or the other.

He was coming to our table, which he never did. In fact he pretty much treated my family like we were invisible. Daddy got up and practically shook his hand off, while Mother made a point of introducing Lynette, while ignoring the man they were so happy Lynette brought to meet them. Julian sat down next to me, looking around at my mother, Lynette, and Charles, barely concealing how little use he had for them. Which meant he was here because of me. 

“I heard you're getting married again. Third time's a charm and all that.” Julian tells Lynette, and I couldn’t hold back the giggle at the insult.

“Charles is lucky to have Lynette.” Mother said, not missing the insult.

“I’m sure he is, sorry if you took it otherwise.” Julian tells her.

“Let’s hope, these wedding are getting expensive.” Father says, trying to make a joke.

“Well you must be happy that Lindsay managed to get it right. A friend of mine recently meet Lindsay and seems to be charmed by your grandson, Gus, right? I really wanted to meet him, but you came alone.” Julian tells me.

“Lindsay understands tonight was about Lynette, and wouldn’t want to call attention on herself.” Mother says, suddenly not as happy to have Julian join in.

“It’s the only thing about this table that would call my attention.” Julian tells us.

“Really? You never seem to pay any attention to children when they’re here.” I tell him.

“No I don’t, but then Gus is special isn’t he? He’s the one thing that could get me what I want.” Julian says, turning towards me, speaking quietly.

“Only if you want to see what my wife and best friend would do to protect our son from anyone. I have a feeling I can add your friend to that list. So test us and see what will happen.” I tell him, not caring at the gasps around me. “I have no problem showing anyone what I’m capable of if you come near my child, or my friends.” I tell him.

“What could an art teacher really do?” He whispers.

“In this world it only takes one whisper. Since you seem to relish this world you know what happens to the ones who no longer shine in their eyes. I’m sure you think I’m no one, but trust me on one thing, I learned this game from the best.” I whispered back.

“I could deal with your mother blindfolded.” He smirks.

“My mother has nothing on Brian Kinney.” I tell him, as he goes from smirking to angry. “Nothing will stop Brian if you hurt the ones he loves, and that includes Justin. Which means the country club set isn’t really who you need to worry about.” I tell him, getting up. “Sorry, but I think celebrating a third marriage pales in comparison to the one I’ve been in for ten years. Good luck Chuck.” I said as I tipped my glass on Julian’s lap. “Sorry I’ve made a mess of you, but really, get used to it, because we can play as dirty as you.” I tell him, ready to go.

I got to the door, when my father catches up to me. I waited for him to ask me what I was thinking.

“He touches Gus you tell me.” Daddy tells me.

“I will, maybe come by, Gus misses you.” I tell him, kissing him on the cheek.

“Or bring him to my office, I’d love to show him off.” Daddy tells me.

“Be careful with Julian, he’s not a good man.” I tell him.

“I know sweetheart. It’s why I made sure nothing I did could have him at my door. What put him at yours?” He asks.

“Brian fell in love.” I tell him.

“Do you know anything about George Shickle calling me on behalf of Brian?” He asks.

“No, but if you need me to find out I will.” I tell him.

“I’ll call George myself, and if Brian is really opening his own doors then I’ll be there helping him.” He tells me.

“Why? You never really liked Brian.” I tell him.

“I didn’t like that you loved a gay man, but that changed didn’t it?” He tells me.

“Mel changed it.” I tell him.

“I owe Brian for giving me Gus, so let him know I’m in.” He tells me.

I left thinking it was time to find out what Brian had been up to, and hoped he could hold back Mel when I told her about what Julian said to me tonight. One thing Julian didn’t understand was that he wasn’t dealing with the people he knew, people who were afraid of what the world thought of them. He was dealing with Liberty Avenue, and we understood how to protect ours no matter how dirty we had to fight.

BRIAN

When Lindsay called it sounded like someone I had yet to meet in my best friend. In a way she sounded like Deb when someone tried to hurt her cubs, so I didn’t waste time questioning what had her upset, just took Justin with me. Justin didn’t understand why I wanted him to come, but it was because I knew Justin needed time without thinking, and Gus could do that for anyone.

Lindsay was waiting outside and smoking like a chimney. So I knew this was bad, since she hated it when Mel or I did it. It was something she asked of both of us, to try and quit for Gus. Mel had it easier than I did, because she rarely smoked anyway, but I quit because my old man died and I didn’t want to die on Gus when he was still young. So like I said, I knew it was bad when Lindsay was smoking.

“You won’t believe what that man had the nerve to do!” Lindsay said, raging.

“I would if you’d tell me.” Mel says, looking confused.

“I wanted Brian here to stop you.” Lindsay tells her.

“Who’s supposed to stop me?” I ask, just because the only thing Mel and I could agree on most of the time was Gus.

“Justin. The man you love, who probably wouldn’t want to see you in jail for murder.” Lindsay says, making Michael look like a drama princess to the queen.

“Okay, but maybe tell me why Brian might murder someone so I know if I should help or hinder.” Justin tells her. Making Mel and I laugh, and Justin look confused since he seems to be serious.

“That asshole Julian showed up at the club where my family decided to show off Lynette’s next ex husband, and pretty much told me Gus was a pawn in his game. Only he didn’t realize that no one, and I mean NO ONE threatens my son. He thinks we’ll roll over. Well fuck him.” Lindsay says, as Justin runs after Mel.

“That fucker thinks he can threaten my family?” Mel says, not really asking.

At that point my brain shut off because not only is the asshole fucking with Justin, but he thinks my son can be used. I’m going to bury the fucker six feet under, but not before I beat the shit out of him. Mel can wait, because there will be nothing left when I get through.

JUSTIN

Mother of God, what the hell was I supposed to do? I wanted to let them both go, and bring the shovel. Lindsay finally realized I couldn’t stop both of them and threw the cigarette on the ground, then grabbed Mel from me while I chased down Brian. I kept trying to think of something that could talk Brian down, but everything in me pretty much said let Julian die. Only I wanted to make love to the man who was going to kill Julian. I wanted to be able to say to him that I loved him, but not through bars. I only hoped this would stop him, because it was the one thing that he could say to stop me.

“I love you. Please don’t ruin us over that asshole.” I tell him.

Brian stopped and turned to me, but I could tell he was still far away in murder and mayhem. 

“He’s not worth losing what we could have. I promise I’ll do whatever I have to, but you can’t do what you and all of us want to. Gus needs you here, helping me to get the asshole who thinks he can use Gus to get to you.” I tell him, but Brian wasn’t with me yet. “Look at me, not anywhere else. Trust me to make sure Julian doesn’t hurt anyone you love.” I tell him, getting him to really see me.

“I didn’t want you to say it until you meant it.” Brian tells me.

“I was afraid of saying what I knew.” I tell him.

“I love you too, but I want to kill the bastard.” Brian tells me.

“I’ll help!” Mel yells from Lindsay’s arms.

“Shit, Mel stop struggling. See this is why I called you, the woman is strong.” Lindsay says as Mel tries to get away.

“We’ll make sure he pays.” Brian tells me, kissing me before helping Lindsay by carrying a seething Mel into the house.

MEL

I really didn’t need Brian carrying me, but I couldn’t see anything right at that moment but bathing in Julian’s blood for daring to bring my son into whatever this was. Brian held me, whispering that no one would touch our son, and to let Justin tell me what they knew. I love Lindsay more than anything but Gus, and I know Brian loves Gus more than anything, but seeing how Justin managed to keep him from doing what we both wanted to do made me feel like shit that I couldn’t stop when Lindsay asked me.

“How did you stop?” I ask Brian.

“I didn’t want to, but if we did what we wanted, then all the shit Julian did he won’t pay for, and because I love Justin enough to trust him.” He tells me.

“I love Lindsay.” I tell him.

“She knows you do but your mind only has one track when your angry. She called me because normally I can get you to stop seeing only one side of anything, which is hard for either of us when it involves Gus.” Brian tells me.

“You can let me go, I’ll listen.” I tell him.

Justin held Brian’s hand, letting him tell us about what they’d been dealing with. I sat next to Lindsay listening to everything and seeing how something so insignificant could have caused this storm over our heads.

“This is all because Justin saw Sapperstein in Yate’s office?” Lindsay asks.

“I’m sorry I brought this to all of you.” Justin tells her, thinking Lindsay blamed him.

“Justin there are kids out there suffering because of this. I wasn’t blaming you, but I’m horrified by what’s happening under our noses.” Lindsay tells him, going over to sit with him.

“He threatened... your son.” Justin tells her.

“He threatened our entire family, which now includes you. I was angry only because he dared to think we’d all roll over and do what he wants.” Lindsay tells him.

“He needs to be knocked off his pedestal, and he needs to see he isn’t just messing with two women, but with everyone we know.” I tell them, looking at Brian, who nods.

“I have Ted looking into his financials, but we still have to link him to Sapperstein. I don’t just want to take them down, but anyone who thinks buying a kid is okay.” Justin tells her.

 “Gus needs to be kept under lock and key until we figure out how to do that.” Brian tells me.

“What are you suggesting?” Mel asks.

“That we rely on new friends to help us. George’s estate is a fortress, and he’ll help us.” Brian tells me.

“My father will help too.” Lindsay tells Brian, who looked at me to ask what the hell.

Brian didn’t know Ron was a slave to his grandson, and would defy anyone if Gus needed him. I knew because I was the one who opened the door, surprised to see him on our doorstep a month after Gus was born. Before then Ron seemed to follow Nancy’s lead, but when it came to Gus, he ignored his wife because he wanted his grandson to know he was thrilled to be a grandfather. Lindsay and I kept quiet about it, since Brian really didn’t like Lindsay’s parents and we all agreed not to have anyone around Gus who wouldn’t see our son the way we did. Ron proved to Lindsay and me we could trust him to only love Gus, but made the mistake of keeping it from Brian.

“He comes to see Gus, and we should have told you. It’s just we know how you feel about Lindsay’s parents.” I tell him.

“He loves him Brian. When I was leaving the club, he stopped me and told me if Julian touches Gus to tell him. He’d do anything to protect Gus.” Lindsay tells Brian.

“We need to get some sleep, then we’ll discuss what we do next.” I tell Brian.

“I’m going to have someone watch the house until you both go stay with George.” Brian tells us.

“I don’t plan to sit safe while you play hero.” I tell Brian.

“Then help Ted when he starts looking through the information Justin asked him to. Just keep our son safe.” Brian tells both of us.

BRIAN

Justin was quiet in the car while I called Ben and told him to find someone to watch out for Mel and Lindsay. I was still having a hard time not going after Julian, but I knew prison was worse than dead for Julian. I wanted to hear Justin say he loved me, without the anger that led to him saying it to bring me down. I didn’t know how important those three words could be. In the past I had said them, but they didn’t have the meaning I felt saying it to Justin. I didn’t want him going home tonight, but to be there in the morning, so I could discover what he was like the moment he woke up. It’s been hard to not try to push him for more, but I didn’t want him to think he was like the guys I screwed and forgot. I thought about what being with Justin could mean to my life. Did I want to give up my freedom to do what I want? In truth, sex meant nothing to me, it certainly didn’t mean I gave a shit beyond getting off. But thinking about our first real kiss, I could see why people said it was different with someone you love. I didn’t know I loved him then but I knew what I felt was something no one had ever made me feel. I refrained from others but only because I didn’t want to go back to sex being meaningless. 

“Where are we going?” Justin asks.

“I want you to stay with me tonight.” I tell him.

“I don’t think I can sleep.” Justin tells me.

“I don’t plan to let you.” I tell him, letting him know what I want.

“Sleeping is overrated.” Justin tells me.

Justin followed behind me as we walked up to the loft, I could tell he was nervous, but determined. I wanted him to relax, and poured us a drink before leading him to the window. I held him in front of me, looking out into the night. We didn’t need to hurry, even though holding him was making it obvious what my body wanted. Justin put the glass down, not drinking it.

“Stop worrying about me, I want this.” Justin tells me.

“I’m not worried about you, but we do this at your pace.” I tell him, kissing his neck.

“I don’t want you to be disappointed in me.” Justin tells me.

“Nothing you do would disappoint me.” I tell him.

“I’m not built like the guys you were…” He trails off when I kissed him, stopping him from thinking any of them could ever compare to him.

Justin didn’t see what I did, he didn’t see the man who had men salivating wishing there weren’t clothes that covered his ass. He didn’t see how many men wished he would look at them instead of through them. I was the lucky bastard that he paid attention to, and I wanted him to always look only at me. I took my time getting both of us undressed. It wasn’t going to be like all the others. Because with Justin, none of them mattered to me the way he did. Justin ran his hands over every part of me, as if studying every inch of me. We got to the bed, where I pulled out everything we needed. I needed to be inside him, and ripped off the wrapper to put on the condom. Justin looked at the condoms as if he didn’t understand why we were using them.

“It’s your first time, which means more to me than you’ll understand, but I’ve been with other men. I want you safe and these are so I never do something that could hurt you.” I tell him.

“Your really big.” Justin tells me, making me laugh because his brain went in a direction different than what I thought.

“They’re made to stretch.” I tell him, realizing I needed to do something else first. My brain was yelling ‘just get inside’, but that wouldn’t be good for Justin. “Turn over.” I tell him.

Justin did as I asked, looking over his shoulder at me. When I kissed his spine, he moaned, and continued to until I separated his cheeks. Then he looked at me trying to figure out what I was doing.

“I’ve read and sort of watched but…” Justin stopped almost coming off the bed at the first swipe of my tongue. 

Justin no longer felt the need to talk and I made sure he didn’t have time to think about anything but what my tongue was doing to him. When I added my finger, Justin was pushing back on it, while begging me to do something more. I added a second and third when he mumbled it wasn’t enough for him. I wanted to look in his eyes when I took him, I needed to see the lust I felt looking back at me. Justin protested when I removed my fingers, knowing it was still going to be a lot for him, but I could only hold back so long.

He complied when I turned him over, allowing me to move his body the way that would be easier for him. Those blue eyes closed as I started to enter him, and I could see he felt the sting even with everything I did to prepare him for it. I managed to bottom out, and worried that I would cum because the walls around my dick were squeezing me like a vice.

“Justin, breathe, relax.” I whisper, kissing the leg next to my head.

“I need you to move.” Justin says, begging me.

I moved and watched as Justin’s eyes glazed over, enjoying what we were doing. It was all I needed and thrust into him faster. Justin wrapped his legs around my waist as I held him still, eventually I stopped when Justin wanted to move to meet my thrusts. I wanted him to cum so I could feel it and helped him by stroking him in time with my thrusts. Justin erupted all over both of us and I wasn’t far behind him. I fell on him, once again feeling like my body had been shocked by electricity. 

Justin didn’t move, just held on to me, then I smiled as he spoke.

“I’m sleepy.” He says, yawning.

“We need to clean up first.” I tell him, dragging him off the bed and into the shower.

Justin woke up in the shower and apparently wanted to try some things. Which had me questioning what porn he watched because he mastered the blow job the first time out. Then seemed to want to try rimming since he liked when I did it to him. I ended up cumming again, and lucky for Justin I didn’t have a problem making him cum as I took him in the shower. I dried him off when he seemed to be barely standing up.

“When is the last time you slept?” I ask him.

“When Deb told me to.” He answers, which didn’t tell me anything.

He barely made it to the bed and was out the second he hit the pillow. I didn’t do anything but cover us both up, thinking I wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon, with the shit about Gus going through my head. I curled around Justin who moved so we were spooned together. I ended up sleeping even when I thought I wouldn’t.

JUSTIN

It took a couple of minutes for me to want to get out of bed. It was hard to want to move when I was surrounded by Brian. I wanted to lay there and just let my thoughts be about the incredible night Brian gave me, but reality hit and I knew I needed to get to work. I texted Daphne and ignored all of the texts Julian sent demanding to know where I was. He went from sounding worried about me to threatening to come find me himself. I didn’t bother to answer him, but I also didn’t need him tracking me down when it was better for him to stay the hell away from Brian.

I grabbed my laptop and started searching Julian’s life to see if I could find anything to link him to Sapperstein. Julian’s life was one of privilege; the right schools, and the right connections. He was the only child of parents who spent their lives anywhere but where their son was. They were the kind of family that in public put on a great show but in private barely bothered with each other. In contrast, Sapperstein was raised in a middle class home, his parents weren’t anyone in general, just ordinary parents with a problem child. He was in trouble most of his life, then suddenly went from petty crime to being able to finance a club. I looked through everything I could find, but the money he used to buy the club didn’t trace back to Julian. I wanted to throw my computer against a wall,  because nothing was connecting them. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Brian asks, sitting next to me.

“I did for a little while, but I want to stop playing guessing games and figure out how to nail them.” I tell him.

“I want that too, but it’s likely they went to great pains to hide anything that connected them.” Brian tells me.

“Then why would he show up at Julian’s office?” I ask, trying to think of something.

“He probably didn’t think anyone would really notice he was there. Likely because he’s been there before. What made you notice him?” Brian asks.

“He just seemed out of place, but only because he watched me from the time I got off the elevator until I made it to the security room. It struck me as odd since most people barely notice I’m there. Normally I’d ignore the people around me, but the way he looked at me was something I’m not really used to.” I tell him.

“Lots of men looked at you in Babylon.” He tells me.

“I never noticed. I was too busy looking at you, trying to convince myself I didn’t want your attention.” I mumbled.

BRIAN

Justin turned red, which was interesting after the things we’d done last night. Things I wanted to repeat often. A new one for me. 

“You had it before you knew it.” I tell him.

“When I stopped and looked up here the first night?” He asks.

“I’d seen you walk by before that, but you never stopped. I was watching you before you started watching me.” I tell him.

“Why?” He asks.

“You seemed like you were looking for something. It’s the way I felt all my life.” I tell him.

“I walked because I couldn’t sleep, then I saw you. Sitting on the bench across the street let me shut out the things that kept me awake. Then when I left you, I could sleep without tossing and turning.” He tells me.

“I’d hoped to wake up with you.” I tell him.

“You did, the day you came and made me sleep.” He tells me.

“You woke up because you fell off the couch.” I joke.

“You still were there when I woke up.” He points out.

“But you didn’t know I was. This time you would have.” I tell him.

“I wanted to try and figure out how to get Julian out of our lives.” He tells me.

“Let me take a shower to wake up, then I’ll see if I can help.” I tell him.

JUSTIN

Brian walked off and part of me want to go with him, but Gus’s safety came first. Before I’d showed up at Woody’s tonight I’d started reading about human trafficking, and nothing about it was anything but nightmare inducing. I suddenly realized how sheltered my world was. Julian playing with people’s lives didn’t even scratch what was probably happening to the kids who were disappearing. I looked it up and was saddened to see how many people disappeared without a trace, and that in the end the kids on the street weren’t even open cases. I listened to Ben and understood what he was trying to say, but it didn’t mean someone shouldn’t have at least tried to find out something. 

I sat there knowing how lucky I was even when it didn’t seem like it. I had made it through life without people around me. I’ve met this amazing man who loves me, and he didn’t walk away even though being with me turned his life upside down. It was why I wanted to find a way to stop my life from hurting his. 

I got up, grabbing my jacket and wanting to do something. I knew there was one person who might be able to help. I left a note to tell Brian where I was going, and that I’d be back with breakfast. I didn’t care if Ames was waiting, he could tell Julian whatever he wanted, because I wanted Julian to target me. I didn’t see Ames or any of the other watchers the whole way to the diner. When I got there I was happy to see Deb sitting around and the diner pretty much empty. She smiled at me when I walked in.

“Why are you out this late?” She asks, making me smile that she sounded so concerned.

“I wanted… to ask you about something?” I ask.

“Have a seat and I’ll get you something to eat while we talk.” She tells me, grabbing a coffee pot and telling the cook what to make.

“So what did you want to ask me?” She asks, sitting down.

“I was out with Brian tonight… and they said you knew the kids that don’t have a place to live.” I tell her.

“Pretty much. They usually show up here.” She tells me.

“What happens when they stop showing up?” I ask.

“In some cases they go to find somewhere warmer to stay. Others... I honestly don’t know, they just disappear. Why?” She asks.

“Wouldn’t they tell someone where they were going?” I ask, not sure how much to tell her.

“I wish they did, but in a lot of cases they’re on their own, and the ones that aren’t deal with assholes who sell them, not caring what happens to them.” She tell me.

“I don’t understand why no one at least tries to find out what happens to them.” I tell her.

“Honey, a lot of the kids who are out there left home for a reason, and that reason doesn’t care what happens to them.” She tells me.

“You do.” I tell her.

“I also know how it feels for your family to turn their backs on you. My brother came out and my family kicked him out, then I got pregnant and got kicked out. It made it easy for me to open my heart to others, because no one should be thrown away for being themselves or making a mistake.” She tells me.

“I need your help.” I tell her.

TED

I visited every hell on earth looking for Blake. But no one Blake once knew had heard from him. Emmett didn’t complain as we continued on through the night. Eventually we had to give up when no one would tell us anything. We were walking towards the diner, both wanting a shower, but Emmett still tried by asking the hustlers that were wandering around. It bothered me to think I left Blake out here, while going on with my life. What if Sapp did something to him, and I’d never know because I didn’t at least try to find him after he left the rehab I got him into.

“Teddy, stop.” Emmett yells.

I didn’t even realize I’d left him, I was so caught up in my thoughts. 

“Sorry…”

“I think I found him.” Emmett tells me, making me look behind him. “One of the kids said he cleaned himself up.” He tells me, excited.

“And…?”

“They told me where to find him. Remember the rehab he took off from?” Emmett says, making me what to shake him to tell me. “He works there now.”

“What?” I ask.

“One of the kids back there said Blake comes around trying to help them, and he left a way for us to find him.” He says, handing me a card.

“He did it.” I tell Emmett excitedly, wanting to celebrate Blake cleaning himself up.

“Why don’t you call him, and then meet me at the diner.” Emmett tells me, kissing my cheek before walking away.

I stood there, trying to think of excuses; like it was late, or he might not want to hear from me. I stopped my usual self doubt and dialed the number, willing to hear him yell at me for calling so late, or even having him hang up on me, it really didn’t matter. 

“Hello?” Blake said, yawning. 

“Blake.” I said not sure what to say after so long.

“Ted. Is that you?” He said, sounding confused.

“Yes, I… I heard you…” Still lost about what to say to him.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“It’s just good to hear your voice.” I tell him.

“It’s really late but…” 

“Shit. Sorry I wasn’t even thinking.” I said, interrupting him.

“It’s fine. Don't hang up. Unless you're busy.” He said, sounding worried that I would.

“I called you.” I tell him.

“Why?” He asks.

“I wanted to see if you could help my friends and me. Not that I didn’t want to talk to you and find out how you’ve been doing. It’s just… well I thought you were still…” I couldn’t say it.

“Living in a crystal haze?” He asks, not sounding angry at me for thinking it.

“I’m proud of you.” I tell him.

“I wanted to call you. But I screwed up so much with you, I thought it would be better to let sleeping dogs and all.” He tells me.

“Are you seeing… I mean are you happy?” I ask.

“I’m healthy, and no I’m not seeing anyone. What about you?” He asks, not beating around the bush the way I was.

“Still single.” I tell him. 

“Do our want to meet? It’s late, but I’ve really missed you.” He tells me. 

“I do, but right now I need some help too.” I tell him.

“From me?” He asked.

“I was hoping you could help me get the kids on the street to talk to us.” I tell him.

“About?” He asks.

“Some of the other kids who have disappeared. We’re trying to find out if Sapperstein had anything to do with it.” I tell him.

“Let me get dressed and we can meet somewhere.” Blake tells me.

“How about the diner?” I ask.

“I can be there in twenty minutes. It really feels good that you need me.” He tells me, hanging up.

Emmett was waiting at the door of the diner, looking in. I looked to see Brian standing over Justin, he didn’t look as happy as he’s been since he started seeing Justin. In fact they actually looked like they were fighting.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“I don’t know. They were like this when I got here.” Emmett tells me, opening the door. “Did you call him?” 

“He’s going to meet me here.” I tell him as Justin surprised me by yelling back at Brian.

BRIAN

I got out of the shower, wishing Justin had joined me but understanding he was trying to figure this out. It gave me time to think about the kids I’ve seen hanging out at Babylon. There was nothing unusual about seeing kids there wanting to find themselves. It was what drew me to  clubs like Babylon. The idea that I could be me in a world that didn’t want to accept me. I didn’t pay a lot of attention to Sapp since we didn’t like each other. He would have loved to kick my ass out, but I brought in people in and he knew it. I’d seen him give kids drugs, but they took them happily. If they didn’t return the next night, no one noticed with as many others that did come. Emmett’s comment about the Sapp noticing Justin came to mind. Justin was Sapp’s type. He liked the ones who looked as young and innocent as Justin did. Which made it odd that Sapp didn’t bother with Justin when he was coming into the club alone. I don’t even remember seeing him around when Justin and I were playing the watching game. It was something to ask Emmett, since he notices everything around him. I went to the living room to find Justin gone and a note saying he went to get food. I got dressed and went to the diner to meet him, wondering why he didn’t just wait for me.

Justin was talking to Deb when I walked in, both were so involved in their conversation that neither noticed when I walked up.

“I can ask around and see what they’ll tell me.” She tells Justin.

“If they know anything tell them to call me.” Justin tells her.

“If what you told me about is what is really going on, you need to be careful.” She tells him.

“I don’t care if he knows it’s me asking the questions. I’d rather they come after me than all of you.” Justin tells her, looking up at me, worried about what I just heard him say.

“I’d rather you didn’t do something stupid, like making them come after you.” I tell him.

“I want them to do something stupid, because right now we don’t have anything that connects them. Sapperstein being in the same building as Julian doesn’t tell us anything. I can’t even find anything that says Sapperstein is the reason the kids are disappearing. We have nothing right now. But scared people do stupid things and make mistakes.” Justin tells me.

“What happens if they have a kid right now and get scared, do you think they’ll just let the kid go out of worry about what you might know?” I ask him, wanting to shake him for willingly risking himself.

“It would mean Julian is more worried about what I might know than thinking he can use Gus as a target!” Justin yells.

“Boys calm down. Justin, I know you don’t know us well, but trust me, we’ll make sure nothing happens to Gus or any of you.” Deb tells him.

“Blake is on his way here. Hopefully he can help too.” Ted tells us, sitting with Emmett next to Deb.

I remembered what I wanted to ask Emmett. “When Justin was at Babylon, where was Sapp?” I asked.

“I never saw him when Justin was there, but he’d come out as soon as Justin left.” He tells me.

“Why would they think I’m a threat when I honestly didn’t know anything? I still wouldn’t if Ben hadn’t brought up what they suspected about Sapperstein.” Justin said, not really asking us.

“Look at the timing, you saw him then started frequenting his club. If he’s involved in doing something that could get him sentenced to life in prison… well, being paranoid comes with the territory. You weren’t there partying, so maybe he thought you were watching him.” Emmett tells him.

“It might be better to get the police involved.” Deb tells us.

“The chief of police is involved with my boss.” Justin tells her.

“What about Carl? He’s helping us.” Justin asks me.

“He’s also taking care of the other things you don’t want anyone to know about.” I tell him.

“It still wouldn’t hurt to tell him what we think.” Justin tells me.

We all stopped talking when the door opened and Ted nearly face planted trying to get out of the booth to greet Blake. As Blake walked over to us he was nervous as he approached the table. But if I was him I would be too, since he knew we all didn’t have a great opinion of him after the things he put Ted through. 

“Ted said you guys needed some help?” Blake asked.

“Do you still know most of the kids out on the streets?” Emmett asks him.

“I check on them, when I can find them.” Blake tells us.

“The ones you can’t find, any clue where they went?” I ask.

“If anyone knows I’ll see if I can find out.” Blake tells me.

“I can help if you need me to.” Ted tells him.

“We need you to do what Justin asked.” I tell him.

“He’s helping us.” Ted tells me.

“I’m at loose ends, how about I go help Blake? I can fill him in while we try to get information.” Emmett tells us.

“I’ll talk to the ones who come here.” Deb tells us.

“Justin and I are going to take Gus, Mel, and Lindsay to George’s. Call if you guys find anything out.” I tell them.

Justin got up, nodding when Blake looked at him, but didn’t say anything. He followed me to the car, looking worried about what I was going to say about him. I fell more in love with him for wanting to protect my son, but him being hurt wasn’t something I could handle either. I kissed his confused lips. I was not going to lecture him for doing what I would do if I was him.

JULIAN

Even if I wouldn’t admit to anyone else, I made a mistake with Lindsay Peterson. I’d seen the family at the club on multiple occasions and thought I understood the dynamics within the family. In all the interactions I’d witnessed I thought I read it right that the family didn’t support Lindsay and therefore wouldn’t be a problem for me. Ron Peterson proved me wrong and had no problem letting me know that going near his daughter and grandson would have me dealing with not only him but all his allies in business. Ron Peterson alone I could handle, but the people who owed him favors were vast, and none of them were people I could touch. 

Gus seemed like the perfect way to get Brian to walk away from Justin when nothing else was working. Ryder and Gardner didn’t understand what I was beginning to about Brian. Hurting Brian did nothing. Threatening him did even less. But his little family was something he protected. Brian’s public life told a different story than the one he led away from all the people who only saw the IT boy of the clubs. I looked into Brian’s life and found that he was taking care of his son, then I looked at his life as a whole. He still supported his drunk of a mother, the sister who hated him, and he stayed friends with people who did nothing for him. He could have left the losers when he started making a success of himself, only he continued taking care of them. He did anything they needed of him, not seeing that they were dragging him down. I didn’t get him. Why would he care about a waitress and the friends, when he could have left them and started his climb to success somewhere other than Pittsburgh. I didn’t understand what Justin would see in Brian, other than the looks that Brian did use quite well. What Brian didn’t use was the intelligence that I didn’t realize he had. Brian wasn’t in Justin’s league, but he wasn’t far behind him. Brian could read people better than Justin, and that was something I didn’t need, since it was likely my little threat to Lindsay wouldn’t be overlooked by Brian.  

Justin not answering my calls didn’t bode well for me. I wanted to smash Ames’s head into a wall when he told me the patrons at the bar Justin went to meet Brian Kinney at kept him blocked in, then helped Justin escape with Brian. He did mention Ben was there getting cozy with the group, and that I found interesting. I was starting to doubt Ben’s allegiance to me. Everything Ben did lately was suspicious. He targeted the one person who Brian hasn’t been around lately, Michael Novotny. Gary filled me in on the friendship, telling me that when it came to Michael, Brian was protective of the little man. Something I stored for later, since right now Brian’s interest was centered on Justin. Gary hated Brian for being what Gary thought owning Babylon would make him; a god among the boys.

I left the club after Ron’s warning, knowing I needed to find out why Gary was demanding we talk. Lately all Gary wanted to talk about was Justin. He questioned me about why he’d never seen Justin, and he didn’t buy that it was because what Justin did at my company was too important to waste him on the deviants that would pay top dollar for him. I wasn’t happy with Gary’s interest in Justin. I expressly told him Justin was off limits because what he did was invaluable to me, and there was no price anyone could offer me for Justin. I made a mistake in telling Gary that, because his interest in Justin only increased. He didn’t get that I was telling the truth about why I first hired Justin, the information he could find was the reason people were willing to bow down to me. 

Unfortunately for Justin, he fit all of Gary’s criteria when it came to selection. He also thought that Justin’s life meant no one but me would notice him missing, which Gary got wrong. Justin wasn’t invisible. The people that were interested in Justin’s real talents would notice if he went missing, along with Brian’s network of friends. Which I had to explain to Gary before he agreed it would be better to leave Justin alone. Brian’s interest in Justin also got the interest of half the club, and suddenly Gary got that Justin couldn’t disappear without a lot of questions being asked. It was the one thing that I could thank Brian for, making it so Gary wouldn’t dare go near Justin. It didn’t mean I didn’t want their association to end though, because until Brian, Justin was mine.

If Justin started getting suspicious there would be no stone in my life he wouldn’t overturn, and my father was one I didn’t need Justin to find.  My father was the person who introduced Gary and I, suggesting we help Gary since it meant my father didn’t have to go looking for victims. He could just have Gary deliver them to his door, then get rid of them to avoid the scandal of having someone suggest my father liked little boys. My father was a liability to our name; the family spent years pretending he wasn’t the sick bastard he is. My grandfather left the problem of my father in my lap by giving him his share of our family business. It was hard for me not to want to find a way to rid the family of the albatross that was my father, but my grandfather made sure I couldn’t touch the bastard. The bastard owned forty-nine percent of my business, and that meant dealing with Gary since my father wanted us to.

When Gary contacted me about Justin showing up at his club he thought I sent Justin to ruin him. I waited to see what Justin was doing, and until the night he took off with Brian Kinney, I couldn’t figure it out. I thought everything was fine, and reminded Gary who was the boss. Then he made the comment about waiting for Brian to be through with Justin before he had a taste.

Gary was never happy with having to take orders from me but knew his little enterprise would have been short lived without me, since my father wasn’t interested in anything but what Gary provided him. As far as I was concerned, him using the resources my father provided meant eighty percent of the profit belonged to me. It helped that he couldn't get a hold of the evidence that would have him dying in prison. It also made it so Gary knew better than to think on his own. The idiot didn’t understand at first why I insisted on people no one would care went missing. He wanted easy, not to have to clean them up, and make sure they were what the buyers would be willing to pay for. I made a career out of seeing potential in the people I hired or exploited, it meant making Gary see beyond the surface of the kids we acquired. He only saw what the dirty clothes and the stench living on the street did to them. I saw the package that would have our buyers outbidding each other. It wasn’t hard, since I knew what attracted my father. Which to me said Gary only receiving twenty percent was more than he deserved for his help in getting them to his house on the right nights.

I’d been worried about the attacks on my system only because Gary had been trying for years to get his hands on the video of him and his friends accidentally killing one of the kids they raped multiple times one night, before overdosing the kid when he started to realize what had been done to him. He tried to get me to the parties, but rape was rather tasteless to me, when men were willing to do anything I wanted without anything to make them do it. I was many things, but never would I be like the man who contributed to my birth.

I wanted nothing to tie me to Gary Sapperstein, and thought he understood not to show up anywhere someone would see us together. My father set up the business by funneling the money to our families legitimate businesses. It was my job to make sure the funds left without anyone knowing they were ever there in the first place. At first, when Justin and Gary saw each other I didn’t really worry about it because Justin tends to live in his head. Only Gary noticed Justin, and when I talked to the security guy I found out Justin watched Gary and me in the elevator. I waited for Justin to leave before asking the security guy if Justin asked anything about Gary or why he was here. Nothing Justin did said he noticed anything, until Gary called to tell me Justin started showing up at his club. 

Gary would really be after Justin if he knew what Justin had without knowing it. Justin was the perfect place to hide all the secrets Gary wished he could get. Gary kept records of everything my father requested, but in turn I had proof of Gary’s stupidity, and he knew what he had wasn’t as strong as the video proof of what really happens at his parties. I made sure I had more than just the one night.

I had always kept the thumb drive with everything connecting me to Gary and my family with me, not trusting the information anywhere I couldn’t see it. The morning I waited for Justin I wandered around his house, wanting to hide the drive. After I looked around not getting why Justin kept some of the things he did, I decided the old teddy bear he left in a box in is closet wasn’t anything Justin would bother with. The thing was left as if he forgotten to throw it away. It had a small tear and I stuffed the drive into it, planning to retrieve it if I needed it. I figured with my plans for Justin and me, it meant I could get to it anytime I wanted to. Only Justin refuses to see things my way, refusing all my invitations where I planned to have Brian showing Justin the Brian all of Babylon worships. Which won’t happen if Lindsay tells either of them about dinner.

I’d been working on a way to get out of the whole business, since I started to see Justin in a different capacity in my life. It was taking time to unravel my businesses and clean the accounts. If my father wanted to continue he’d have to find a new supplier because I’d make sure  Stockwell no longer had a reason to protect Gary, but to parade him in Stockwell’s bid for mayor. It was almost done until the accountant that I had working on it fucked up by thinking he was untouchable since he was the one laundering the money. I let Gary and his twisted friends show him what happens to anyone who crosses either of us. Which in hindsight wasn’t the greatest thing to do, since he’s barely making any progress drinking the memories away.  

I pulled up to the back entrance of the club, thinking about the night I watched Justin at Babylon, finding myself jealous and hating the way Brian kept his attention. It was new for me; wanting something. Gary was too busy bitching about the way Brian paid attention to Justin. Something that, according to Gary, never happened with Brian. Gary truly hated Brian Kinney. Gary might have owned the club, but Brian ruled it. Gary was used to wanting things and he wanted what Brian got effortlessly in Gary’s club; all the attention. 

I scowled when Gary got in my car. He seemed to think I saw him as an equal, which I encouraged when he helped me blackmail others to do what I wanted. Only now he was the same liability my father was.

“Is there some reason you think having my phone number means using it?” I ask.

“I thought we could help each other.” He tells me.

It was hard not to roll my eyes at the idea Gary thought anything, much less something that could help me, since he would gladly bury me if he could.

“Once again I have to remind you that I’m the one who does the thinking.” I tell him.

“So far all you seem to be doing is sitting on your ass. Meanwhile, I managed to find out why Brian shoved Gardner and Ryder’s offer up their asses.” He tells me.

“What did you find out?” I ask, since none of my people could.

“He’s starting his own company. Which wouldn’t be a big deal, but the backers are the ones you call the Untouchables.” He tells me.

“Anything else before you go?” I ask, trying to sound like it didn’t matter to me.

Gary started to say something, but the lights and sounds around us stopped. I looked around and only the club seem to have lost power.

“Someone was in my home computer, which means someone could have looked at things neither of us want anyone to know about.” Gary said, getting out to run into the club.

I sat not moving, hoping whoever got into Gary’s computer didn’t have a way to break the encryption to the information Gary would stupidly think was safe. I warned Gary over and over not to store anything on a computer he didn’t want anyone to access, but the idiot didn’t listen. My only hope was it was just some kid playing around and wouldn’t be able to break Justin’s code.  

BRIAN

Mel spent the whole time we were driving to George’s house quizzing us about anything we found. Which at this point wasn’t much, Justin was still working on linking Julian to Sapp. I called Carl, telling him we needed his help and he agreed to meet with us at George’s house. When we got there Carl was shaking his head at the two bickering twins in the living room.

Daphne stopped lecturing the kid I assumed was Hunter to run over to Justin and whisper in his ear. Justin stopped being timid and looked over at Hunter as if he wanted to beat his ass.

“What were you thinking?” Justin asked him.

“That I was here to help, not sit around checking Daphne out.” Hunter said smiling.

“I didn’t want you involved, that’s not why I brought you here.” Justin tells him.

“Why did you bring me here? It’s not like I matter to you.” Hunter asks him.

“Because I’m the one who put you in Julian’s sights. If I hadn’t given him your information you wouldn’t have had to see what a useless piece of shit your father was.” Justin tells him.

“You think it’s your fault for what I did that got me caught? Dude, let me give you a clue. My piece of shit of a father wasn’t news to me, and my life was pretty much shit before Julian got a hold of me. What I did was stupid. I did it because I wanted to get caught. Because meeting you was something I wanted to do since the first time I saw you.” Hunter tells him.

“What?” Justin asked.

“I saw you once, and wished I could be like you. Everyone around you was talking shit about you, then were in awe of you when you seemed to do what no one else in the room could do. Only you didn’t act like it made you better than anyone else. I sort of started looking up anything I could find on you, and wanted to succeed the way you did without anyone helping you. I wanted to be able to not let people bother me... not believe I’d end up the way everyone thinks I will. I did what I did because I wanted your attention.” Hunter tells him.

“I… I’m not a… hero. What you were seeing…” Justin says, looking at me not sure how to explain himself.

“Was his way of coping with a world that didn’t know how to talk to him.” I tell Hunter.

“Unless he’s pissed at you.” Daphne adds.

“What did you do?” I asked Hunter.

“I overheard Daphne talking about this guy Sapperstein, and that Justin wanted something on him. I contacted a few guys who hack around here and they were pretty much thrilled to help Justin. I got in Sapperstein’s home system and downloaded what I could before I had to get out. Only the shit’s in gibberish.” Hunter tells us.

“What do you mean gibberish?” Justin asks.

“Just that who ever encrypted the shit is way above what I can do.” He tells him.

“Daph?” Justin said looking to her.

“Every program I tried only ends up stopping halfway through with error codes. Then it’s equations that no one in the world could solve before the fucking bunnies.” She tells me, looking at Justin.

Justin smiled when she said the last part. “This one won’t.” Justin tells her, handing her a thumb drive.

“Fucking bunnies, Justin.” She tells him, taking it.

“What am I missing?” Hunter says, looking at both of them.

“I wrote the encryption.” Justin tells him.

“How long will this take?” Daphne asked plugging in the thumb drive.

“An hour, I didn’t want it to be easy.” Justin tells her.

“How about we talk about why I’m here and what it has to do with Sapperstein.” Carl tells us.

Carl stayed quiet while I explained what we were piecing together, but we could see the anger Carl was trying to keep in check when Justin asked him why he allowed kids to go missing without looking into it. 

“It’s not that we don’t want to find them, it’s that they normally don’t leave a way to find them. Their cases would still be open, but without any leads they end up a cold file. We don’t have unlimited resources.” Carl tells him.

“Then why did I run into closed files?” Justin asks him.

“All the missing kids were closed?” He asked.

“I didn’t look at all of them, but there were a lot that were closed practically the day they opened them.” Justin tells him.

“Which means Julian got Stockwell to get them closed, and the detective who closed them did it because it was one less problem on their desk.” Carl tells us.

“Then ask them to reopen them.” I tell him.

“That would have them telling Stockwell I asked. And that’s pretty much telling Julian, since the information I gave Stockwell on Brian was what Julian tried to use on Lindsay.” He tells us.

“I want them to pay for what they did.” Justin tells him.

“Then get me the files on the closed cases and be prepared for what we have to do to get what we need.” Carl tells Justin.

“Which is?” I ask.

“Justin willing to work for us.” Ben said from the doorway.

“They’ll only help if I work for them? What about the people who are likely living in hell because of Julian and Sapperstein?” Justin asks.

“This is why I left. It’s all about getting what they want; fuck what happens to people.” Carl tells Ben.

“It’s why I told them no for Justin. They don’t get to blackmail him into working for them.” Ben tells him.

“Ben they aren’t going to be happy with you.” Carl says, concerned.

“I went into this job to protect people, doing things I hated myself for afterwards. But knowing I was helping got me through it. Only this time they don’t care if they get the bad guys and are willing to let Julian and Sapperstein get away with it, if Justin doesn’t agree to be used by them.” Ben tells us.

“Then you and I do what they can’t and Justin tells them to go to hell.” Carl tells him.

Lindsay came in with Gus, and Justin went over to him when he demanded his attention. Carl and Ben left the room, while we gave my son what he wanted. While we waited around George had lunch served and handed me a message from Lindsay’s father.

“I told you he wants to help.” Lindsay tells me, when I showed her the note.

“By offering to make sure all his associates take my appointments?” I ask her.

“You gave him a grandson he loves.” Justin tells me.

“Dude. I thought my father was bad.” Hunter says reading the screen with Daphne.

“What?” Justin asks, handing Gus to Lindsay.

“You know that link you wanted?” Daphne asks.

“Can you just tell me without drawing it out.” Justin tells her, when she blocks the screen.

“Sapperstein keeps a list of product, and who they go to and what they pay.” Hunter tells him.

“He doesn’t name what he’s selling which was smart, but if what I’m looking at is right he has one person who doesn’t pay anything for ‘product’.” Daphne tells us.

“Julian?” I ask.

“Nope, Julian’s father. Which might be why Justin couldn’t find anything to link Julian to Sapperstein. I bet if we look at Julian’s father, we’ll find what we couldn’t find with Julian.” She tells us.

“I’ll find it.” Justin said, wandering off.

“What do we do?” Hunter asks.

“You don’t do anything that makes Justin have to worry about you.” Daphne tells him.

“I only wanted to help.” Hunter tells her.

“If he needs you to then you will, but for now just be happy that you finally got what you wanted in life.” I tell him.

“What?” Hunter asks.

“Someone who cares about you, and will for the rest of your life.” I tell him, knowing how it felt when Deb did that for me and when Justin came into my life.

BRIAN

While Justin looked into Julian’s father’s life, Ted, Cynthia, and I started making calls to set up meetings with the clients from George’s list. Lindsay, with nothing to do, started making calls to the list her father sent her. It took hours because the companies didn’t just set up the appointments but wanted to talk to us about our vision for Kinnetik. Lindsay did a remarkable job of explaining it, shrugging at me when I raised a brow at the way she was handling each person.

“I grew up being groomed on how to talk to potential clients my father wanted and I actually listened on the nights you rambled on about the things you would be doing differently if you were in charge. Although if the number of yeses you’ve gotten so far pans out staffing is going to be a must.” Lindsay said, smiling at the accounts willing to let us pitch to them.

“A lot of the art guys at Ryder are starting to look for new jobs. Murph told me that when you walked, Ryder held a meeting with the department heads, saying they needed to start deciding on ways to tighten the budget.” Cynthia tells me.

“What about Gardner?” Ted asks.

“He pulled out of the deal. Ryder knew the minute Brian walked he would be losing clients, since they wanted Brian, not Ryder or any of the partners who stopped trying to bring in revenue, because Brian did it for them. Ryder was stupid enough to think Brian wouldn’t walk away from job security, which he had since he brought in seventy percent of the clients.” Cynthia tells him.

“I want you to approach the employees that would be an asset to Kinnetik.” I tell Cynthia.

“Why not offer internships at the local colleges for art students? As it is right now there are more students than internships.” Lindsay suggests.

“Why not go to the colleges for me and offer it to all the of them in the area?” I ask her.

“Sure. I’ll also make sure the colleges know about what Kinnetik has to offer them.” Lindsay tells me.

I thought about it for a couple of minutes and didn’t see the reason not to offer Lindsay a job. I knew she wanted time to be a mother and I could make that possible, while letting her help out with the household. Lindsay loved being home with Gus, but hated the extra strain Mel was under to support them all. Mel didn’t complain when I helped out but I knew she didn’t like having to ask for help either. It would be helping me and the girls, and Lindsay knew the ins and outs with the clients Ron was flooding us with.

“Ted, get Lindsay on payroll.” I tell him.

“Brian, I was only bored and helping.” She tells me.

“I need someone to help Cynthia, since she’s not going to be just a PA, but working toward Ad exec. Which means I’ll need at least three PA’s to replace her. You can work part time, and trust me, if Gus needs you, it won’t be a problem.” I tell her.

“I need to discuss this with Mel, but thank you.” Lindsay said, getting up and going to find Mel.

“You’re replacing me.” Cynthia teases, while trying to hide her excitement.

“I wish I didn’t have to, but keeping you as a PA is a waste of resources. There isn’t a single campaign I’ve worked on since you started with me that wasn’t improved by your insight.” I tell her, getting up to check on Justin.

Justin was looking at multiple windows, with Hunter sitting next to him handing him food. Hunter seemed to enjoy just sitting there watching Justin work. When I walked over, Hunter got up and walked out of the room, mumbling that they needed more drinks anyway. Justin looked confused at what he was seeing.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Everything I find has Carter Yates in the background.” He tells me.

“It could be he didn’t really do anything the family wanted to show off.” I tell him.

“Which would make sense since he dropped out of every college he went to. He lived off the family, not doing anything. He owns forty-nine percent of Julian’s company but really doesn’t have an official capacity in the company. Which is weird because the company was passed down from father to son, but skipped him when the grandfather willed fifty-one percent of the company to Jillian, and named him as the successor over Carter Yates. The grandfather was reported to be extremely old school and he doted on Carter, yet he handed the reins over to Julian instead.” Justin tells me.

“A college dropout could have a negative impact on the company. Following someone who can’t finish what they start wouldn’t inspire the confidence that he could lead the company into the future.” I tell him.

“He was also suddenly engaged after the last time he quit school, but there were no reports of the relationship existing before then. Although entertainment news wasn’t really more than a small paragraph in the news. But still, there were blurbs about the family, just not about him.” He tells me.

 “When he dropped out was it because of failing?” I ask.

“From what I can tell he was actually a good student. They even wrote about him once or twice in the school papers, kind of the who’s who of the college.” Justin tells me.

Looking at the list of colleges he attended, each one was further and further away from the last one. None of them were Ivy League, but as he dropped out, the schools he attended became lesser known schools, which only said one thing to me.

“Look into reports of misconduct at the school or the area, see if there were cases that were opened then closed around the time he dropped out and moved away.” I tell him.

“To see if his father tried to get him away from something?” He asks, catching on.

“It’s something the families in our circles did and still do to keep scandals away from the family.” Lindsay tells him, coming in.

“He dropped out of four colleges. It’s going to take time to get into each system and hope they updated from paper files to computerized. If his father wanted to hide anything than he’d have made sure the paper files disappeared.” Justin tells us.

“Newspaper’s don’t. They’re scanned into the system.” Hunter tells him, bringing in drinks.

“Start looking those up for me.” Justin tells Hunter.

Justin didn’t see the smile Hunter gave him at being a part of what Justin was doing. Eventually we’d have to figure out what to do with Hunter, but him going back to his mother wasn’t going to happen. 

“Did the family live here?” I ask Lindsay.

“They originated from here and were a big part of the country club set in my grandfather’s time. I don’t remember Carter Yates, but he was before my time. Until Julian started coming to the club, the family was pretty much absent. I really wasn’t interested in the older generation. George might know more about them.” Lindsay tells us, getting up to go get George.

“Looking at all the articles, Carter Jr tended to vacation alone a lot. He was here when Julian was born, and showed up for months at time until Julian started high school. It’s been a bitch to figure out where he could have run into Sapperstein though since he didn’t go to school anywhere near Julian. There wasn’t any time they would have crossed paths while growing up.” Justin tells me.

“Lindsay said you had a question?” George asks, as him and Lindsay came back.

“Did you know Julian’s family?” I ask.

“I’ve meet Carter Sr, but we didn’t sit around with the family at the club, which in my day wasn’t unusual. The clubs were built so the children were off being taking care of while the adults played. There were occasions where the families got together, but we rarely paid attention to the children, since there were people who did that for us. Although there were several occasions where the family would be called to deal with their son’s behavior, which of course was whispered about, and I do recall Carter Sr and his wife being called a lot to deal with the son.” He tells us.

“Did anyone say what Carter Jr was doing?” Justin asks.

“Playing too rough with younger children was the standard answer. I do remember once where the answer was different, but only because the family was on the same social level as the Yates and were highly upset, demanding something be done. Carter Jr exposed himself to their younger children. Carter Sr tried to say it was a case of boys being boys but none of us were willing to listen to the excuse. After that incident Carter Jr was left at home, and the other set of parents let it go.” George tells us.

“Did they ever bring him back? Because Julian is around my age and I remember him coming to functions, but not his father.” Lindsay tells him.

“Not that I remember. Carter Sr would always excuse his absence as work related. I don’t think Carter Jr had many friends in our set either, since I don’t remember him running around with the group of boys. My son, who would have been his age, didn’t seem to like Carter Jr and never invited him to events we hosted for him. Which Lindsay could tell you, we invite everyone in order not to offend anyone. Only, my wife indulged my son and would cut someone upon his request, which wasn’t just Carter but some of the other kids she felt weren’t up to the standards she expected from people around our family.” George tells us.

“Did you ever ask him why?” I ask.

“I didn’t ask, but Virginia handled it. I could try but he sided with his mother when I left her, so he might not even take my call.” George tells us.

“I could try, since my sister is planning on an engagement party that will include everyone.” Lindsay tells us.

“Just be careful when you question him, the club gossips will be speculating why you’re talking to him.” George tells her.

Justin was typing away while we discussed everything. Then he stopped, reading something. I leaned in to see what he was looking at.

“I checked for cases that happened around the time Carter Jr dropped out. I only found one, but it’s like you said, the parents dropped it, saying they made a mistake. Only the name of the person they were planning to press charges on is blackened out.” Justin tells me, as I read the report, ready to throw up.

How do you mistake that someone molested your child in a park bathroom?

“What happened to the family after they dropped the charges?” George asked after reading the police report over Justin’s shoulder.

“They sold their home and moved to another state. I’m still looking to find them.” Justin tell him.

“When you do, you’ll likely find their situation in life improved too. It’s how we hid our scandals back then.” George tells him.

“But how did Sapp and Carter Sr cross paths?” Lindsay asks.

“Maybe the same way? Carter Jr was living here when Sapperstein was a kid. Sapperstein’s family was lower middle class, which would make them easy to shut up, but how would they have met?” Justin asks.

“Where did the father work?” I ask.

“He was in construction, and I checked, it wasn’t owned by Julian’s family…” Justin trailed off, tapping away before stopping again. “The company was hired to build houses in the same area as Julian lived, but not for Julian’s family. Sapperstein would have been around fourteen at the time” Justin tells me.

“I bet the dad sometimes took his son with him.” I tell Justin.

“While he worked?” Justin asked, looking confused. 

“My father would do it, making me do grunt work so he could get done sooner. Eventually he couldn’t because of safety regulations and child labor laws.” I tell him.

“There’s nothing in the system saying there was ever a report of a minor and anyone in that neighborhood.” Justin tells me.

“Sapp might have wanted what Carter was offering. He’s into some sick shit, even without what we think.” I tell him.

“He didn’t hit on you?” Justin asks.

“He knew he couldn’t lick my toe, much less suck my dick, so he wisely hated me from afar. My standards left him out of the running, but lately everyone is out of the running.” I tell him.

Justin kissed me before yawning, which made sense when he’d been going with only two hours of sleep. I pulled him out of the chair telling everyone we’d be back tomorrow. George invited everyone to stay, liking having his house full. We didn’t go to the loft but to Justin’s house, since in the morning I wanted him to get what he needed so he wouldn’t have to come back everyday. Justin stripped before laying on his stomach, I couldn’t resist kissing down his back and smiled when I heard the snoring, not letting it bother me that he fell asleep. But hoping when he woke up he’d wake me up.

JUSTIN

I should have been uncomfortable with Brian sleeping next to me, not sleeping the way I did when he was around. I also should have been able to get up when the ideas started rushing through my head. Only, watching him I wanted to do other things, like wake him up and make him show me again what it felt like to make love to someone. It was something I’d always believed didn’t matter, seeing it as people filling a need that didn’t really require others in order to satisfy a biological urge. Brian showed me that it was more. It wasn’t about the end but the connection one person gets from the other.

I wanted him. And knowing he wouldn’t have a problem with anything I did gave me courage. Removing the blanket from the erection that was currently tenting it, I was happy to see Brian didn’t wear anything to bed. It made what I wanted to do easier, wake him up with my mouth. Brian didn’t open his eyes as I licked and sucked him into my mouth. I spent years watching porn to try and figure out what the giver got out of it. It looked like the one receiving was really the only one who got anything. What I figured out was the giver controlled everything, something no porn movie could explain. Brian might have moved me, but I was the one who was responsible for the pleasure he felt. 

His moans and shivers with every movement of my mouth gave me a clue to what he liked. The first time I tried this I wanted to give him everything he gave me in bed. Now I wanted to experiment with the things he did to me. I ran my hands over his body, then moved lower to roll his balls in my hand as I continued assaulting him with my mouth. Brian let me do what I wanted and didn’t stop me when I pushed him onto his stomach. I wanted to rim him and drive him as crazy as he did me when he did it. Brian made it so easy for me to do anything, not once making me feel like there was anything wrong with how I did it. 

I figured out when it came to sex, as long as if felt right, there was no wrong way. Brian begging me not to stop when I ran my tongue around his hole made me bolder. Turning him over,  I added my fingers the way he had, wanting to watch him. It took me a second to find what he did that almost made me cum. Which only had me taking him into my mouth when he was leaking from the stimulation I was providing. I wanted more, and Brian seem to know since he handed me a condom. I still feel like an idiot when I questioned how it could fit. 

“If you want to, you can.” Brian offered. Eventually I would, but right now I wanted him inside me.

He didn’t stop me when I put the condom on him, and let me do the work to get what I wanted. Feeling the burn wasn’t as bad as the first time, because I knew what came after. Sitting astride him also made it so I was the one who controlled the motions. At least that was my first thought, until Brian raised his legs behind me and used the bed to thrust into me from below. I fell forward, and used my hands to push back as he thrust into me. The bed was banging on the wall when both of us started moving faster. Brian took my cock into his hand and stroked me in time with our thrusts. When I came, he flipped us over and started power driving into me. I bit my lip and had him leaning down to take the swollen lip into his mouth. The kiss seemed to drive him over the edge as he thrust three more times before stilling completely inside me. I pulled him down, letting his body cover mine. This was the part I liked best, the feeling of his heart racing next to mine. It made it even harder for me to want to get up and face the world today.

“I want you to get what you need and stay with me.” Brian tells me.

“Are you worried about what Julian or Sapperstein might do?” I ask.

“When they figure out what we’re doing, yes, but it’s more about wanting us to be together.” He tells me.

“My house has too many problems.” I agreed.

“I don’t like what your house was for you- a place to keep the world away.” Brian tells me.

“Isn’t that what you loft was for you?” I ask.

“When you’re there it changes.” He shrugs.

“What happens when this is over? I’m going to be out of job. I never wanted to depend on anyone to take care of me.” I tell him.

“I want you to trust that I would, even though you likely won’t need me to.” Brian tells me.

“The other jobs Ben talked about, they sound to me like I’d be doing the same thing as I was doing working for Julian.” I tell him, not sure what I want to do.

“Only if you let them do what they want. Justin, you're the one with the power in this situation. They want you, and hearing what they would do to get you, means they would also listen to what your conditions are in order for you to work for them.” He tells me.

“If they start offering me jobs what happens to us if I have to move?” I ask.

“You aren’t listening. They are going to do what you want. If you want to move, then we figure it out.” Brian says, like he didn’t care what it took to be together.

“Then they find a way for me to be where you are.” I tell him.

“Let’s get your stuff. We have to drop it off and then show up at George’s.” Brian said, jumping out of the bed, seeming to want to hurry.

I opened up my laptop and resigned my position at Yates. If what we were trying to prove was true, I wanted nothing to do with him. Plus, I already had everything in place, so I no longer needed my job. I sent a message with the codes for anything Julian might have encrypted to someone who’d been helping me with other projects, and until recently had no connection to me.

BRIAN

Justin was grabbing clothes and asked me to get his laptop. I came back to find him looking at the boxes in his closet. Justin opened is computer as he looked at the boxes in the bottom of his closet, there were only two, but something bothered him about them.

“Maybe that’s why I didn’t unpack.” Justin tells me, looking back at what he was doing on his laptop.

“Why?” I asked.

“This place never really felt like home to me.” Justin tells me.

“So you left everything in boxes?” I asked.

“The things in the boxes are the things that I carried with me everywhere I went. There’s nothing in there that anyone would see as valuable. Nothing that even makes sense now that I’m older. I just couldn’t throw them away.” Justin tells me.

I opened the first box, pulling out a blanket that was threadbare, and a book that looked like someone had read it often. I understood what the value of those things were to him. They were his when everything in his life left him eventually. He didn’t throw them away because they were there when it felt like he was the throwaway. 

“We can put them in the storage area at the loft until we decide where we’ll end up.” I tell him, not wanting him to feel like he had to let anything go. I took the boxes with the idea that pretty much everything would end up in my loft or wherever our lives led us. 

MICHAEL

Ma was talking to everyone who walked into the diner. I figured she was trying to get them to participate in whatever PFLAG was up to this month. It was the only reason she tended to rally the troops in the past. I felt lost lately; no one was calling me to make plans, not even Ma. Even with all of us being busy, we still called. But lately I felt out of the loop. The booth we normally ate breakfast at every morning was occupied by other people. Looking around there wasn’t anybody here this morning. It felt like the end of the things the gang did together when they didn’t even show up for breakfast. I wanted to blame it on the guy Brian was changing his entire life to be with, but for once I acknowledged he was only doing what I’d done when I met David. I had changed everything about me, wanting to be the man David could be proud of. What Brian was doing was different. The things that changed were things a relationship needed to survive. It didn’t make me happy, but change was hard on me. And the dreams I’d spent my life believing would happen were just that, dreams.

Lindsay didn’t have a problem with her dreams dying, and Mel had a lot to do with it. Maybe that’s part of the reason I didn’t push when no one was calling me. Even understanding that Brian wasn’t going to be who I wanted him to be didn’t make it easy for me to deal with. For the few days Ben had paid attention to me, not being the person Brian would fall in love with was okay, because I had someone that gave me the things I wanted. I’d been avoiding any place I could run into Ben, because seeing him with Justin made me wonder what he could see in me. 

I didn’t get Brian’s interest in Justin, because nothing about Justin was Brian’s usual. The guy was pretty much the opposite of the tall, dark haired, built guys Brian normally went for. I wanted to try to be friends with my best friend’s… God it’s not even easy to say it… Boyfriend. Only no one seemed to bring him around if I was. I really hadn’t met him, but I knew Emmett, Ma, and the girls had, which made me wonder what they thought I would do. Was I really that big of an asshole? I try to be kind to everyone, but it wasn’t easy to get past my jealousy, so i didn’t even try to meet Justin. 

I turned around and went back out the door, since no one really noticed I was there. I tried Brian but he wasn’t answering me. Once again I wanted to blame Justin for it. Only I knew my best friend and no one told him what to do, so maybe he just didn’t want to talk to me. I started walking, getting tired of the pity party I was throwing myself. Everyone had a right to a life, right? So why was it that my life was always going back to the starting line? I’ve always wanted a relationship, and all the things that came with it, but it’s like I picked the people who couldn’t give it to me. I almost ask Ted what the hell he was doing around Blake again when I saw them the other night. Only Ted looked happy, so I left before they saw me.

I went to the place where everything made sense to me. Smiling when Buzzy waved at me. I wandered around looking through comics, reading old ones, in general doing what made me happy. In fact, that was the thought I had as I walked out, that I wanted someone who could do the things I like without worrying how they viewed me. I walked right into someone, not paying attention. The guy scowled at me, but continued on. I didn’t realize anything until I went back to the diner, the asshole had mugged me. My wallet and keys were missing.

Ma called the cops to report it while I tried to remember the guy. It took me a minute because I’d only seen him one other time. The night he was asking questions about Brian and Justin. I looked at my phone trying to decide who to call, Brian or Ben? I really don’t know what made me decide on Ben, other than he made me feel good about me. 

Ben asked a lot of questions but told me to let him handle it. I remembered to tell him Brian’s loft key was on the ring, which had him hanging up on me.

JUSTIN

When we got to Brian’s loft, we went straight to the storage area and dropped off my boxes. He got a call from a client, so I took his key and told him I’d meet him at the car. He stopped me, kissing me before letting me go. Distracted, I opened the door, only planning on dropping my bag and hurrying back. Because my mind was on Brian, Ames managed to shut the door and lock us in together.

“Do you know what the fuck you're doing?” Ames asks, blocking the door.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, looking around for some way to get out.

“My job. The one you seem to be making impossible lately.” He tells me.

“Why are you here?” I ask, again.

“To take you to see Julian, so be a good boy and just agree.” He tells me.

“I quit… tell Julian nothing will change my mind.” I tell him, hoping he’ll leave.

“Nothing will change his, so why don’t we just go out the back so I don’t have to do anything to the idiot putting these ideas in your head.” He tells me.

“Not going to happen. You’re no longer my watchdog.” I tell him, getting angry.

“Then instead you can consider me your jailer.” He smirks right before I feel the someone hit me from behind, and see the smirk on Ames’s face just before I black out.

BRIAN

I got outside, letting Leo Brown ask why I hadn’t contacted him about a campaign. I explained that in the past he wouldn’t take an appointment from me or anyone else at Ryder. 

“I hate Marty and the rest of his crew. You on the other hand I would have agreed to an appointment with if you’d gotten yourself away from them.” He tells me.

My phone beeped with an incoming call from Ben, which I ignored, planning to call back after I finished with Leo. After Ben called back two more times, I agreed to meet with Leo as soon as I could and dialed Ben who called again.

“What’s the emergency?” I asked, looking back at the loft and going back in since Justin should have been back by now.

“Michael called me…”

“Which isn’t an emergency.” I tell him.

“Shut up and listen, Michael called because someone stole his wallet and keys. He recognized the guy. It was Ames, Julian’s pitbull.” Ben tells me.

“What the hell made Ames target Michael?” I ask, having a hard time thinking when I didn’t see Justin anywhere. 

“Brian, Michael has a key to your loft, which is likely the reason Ames mugged Michael.” He tells me.

I kept trying to find Justin, until it finally registered what Ben was saying. I saw the window to the fire escape open and looked out to see a car racing out of it. I ran out the door trying to get outside to my car, while Ben was yelling through my phone.

“When did this happen?” I ask him, trying to think through my panic, but not seeing the car from the back alley anywhere.

“About two hours ago, but Michael just told me about it. Why?” Ben asked.

“Because we came to the loft to drop off Justin’s shit and I got a call so I let him go to the loft alone, he’s not here.” I told him, wanting to kick my own ass for not just following Justin into the loft.

“Brian, don’t panic. Ames knows Julian would be pissed if anything happened to Justin.” Ben tells him.

“Justin quit his job this morning, so I doubt Julian’s rules for Justin still apply.” I tell him.

“Stay there. Carl and I will be there in minutes. We’ll help you find him.” Ben tells me, hanging up.

I went to the alley, not expecting anything, just lost as to what to do. When Ben hung up I called Justin’s phone, not sure what good it would do. Hearing the ringing behind me in the dumpster didn’t register at first, but when it did, I didn’t want to look, fearing how far Julian would go knowing he’d lost any hold he had to keep Justin with him. It took until the phone stopped ringing to know I had to make sure Justin wasn’t in there. I’m not even embarrassed at the scream that came out of me when a hand came over the top of the dumpster. But seeing Ames looking confused at where he was, scared the shit out of me. I called Ben, planning to let him deal with the asshole after he told me where the fuck Justin was, only Ben was once again demanding that I stay where I was and make sure Ames didn’t go anywhere.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t, but sitting on my ass while Justin is God knows where isn’t in my plans.” I told him. Then angry that  Ames smirked, I threw the punch to keep him there until Ben and Carl arrived. 

It took everything I had not to go look for Justin, but where would I look. Julian could have Justin gone in minutes with his resources. Carl arrived, holding my arms while the men with him dragged the sorry piece of shit out of the dumpster. The fucker would end up getting away with everything, but I wanted answers before Ames was taken anywhere and Carl didn’t have a problem with it. He wanted answers too. Ben arrived after we got Ames in the loft, Carl arranged for the officers to guard against any escape Ames might try. Ames really didn’t try, he was still dealing with the two bumps on the head that knocked him out. When he realized where he was he wasn’t defiant but scared, which scared the shit out of all of us.

“Where the fuck is Justin?” I demanded.

“I don’t know, we were just planning to go see Julian.” Ames tells us, as if he and Justin were friends.

“How did you plan to make Justin go?” Carl asks, but Ames was staring at Ben.

“I knew you weren’t doing what Julian wanted.” Ames tells him, ignoring Carl.

“I wouldn’t do anything that bastard wants, but Carl asked you a question.” Ben tells him.

“He understood he owed Julian an explanation and agreed to go.”  Ames said, lying through his teeth.

“Justin wouldn’t go anywhere with you.” I tell him.

“He said he was tired of playing the game with you, something Justin does so well.” Ames tells me.

“Justin doesn’t play those kinds of games.” Ben tells him.

“You were one of them. But Justin said you were boring and weren’t worth his time.” Ames tells him.

“Game or not, where is Justin?” I ask, pissed at the game Ames was playing to avoid answering.

“You don’t believe him do you?” Ben asks.

“I know Justin and I know he wouldn’t have been capable of those kinds of games. What I want to know is why Ames seems scared, and it’s not of us.” I tell Ben.

“Where is Justin?” Carl says pulling out his gun.

“You don’t scare me.” Ames sneered.

“I have no plans to scare you, just shoot until you decide to talk. Ask Ben if you think this is a bluff. I found out that while distasteful, losing a kneecap tends to make people talk.” Carl said cocking the gun looking willing to fire it.

“Can we at least cover the floors, I like them.” I said willing to let Carl blow Ames dick off if it told us where Justin was.

“Don’t worry son, I have people who can make it look like nothing ever happened here.” Carl tells me, serious.

“Fuck. Alright, Julian wanted Justin, he promised it was just to talk to him. Like always the little shit couldn’t just go.” Ames tells us.

“And so you made it so he didn’t have a choice, didn’t you?” Ben said, nodding to Carl.

Carl put a silencer on his gun, the fucker looked ready to pee his pants when none of us tried to stop Carl. 

“You’re fucking crazy! You can’t just shoot me!” Ames yells, staring at all of us.

“Where is he!” I said, getting in his face, willing to shoot the fucker myself if he didn’t answer.

“I don’t know, the guy who helped me apparently had other instructions. Something I had nothing to do with.” Ames tells us, eyeing Carl.

“Why if you were both just doing what Julian wanted?” Carl says, moving me away. “Blood splatter isn’t fun.” He tells me.

“Lots of people are interested in Justin, which one did you trust?” Ben asks, backing up as Carl walked around closing the window, letting the shades down.

“Nothing you can do is worse than what they will do if they think I said anything.” Ames tells him, watching Carl.

“You really think that? I learned a lot before I came here to retire. One of the things is how to keep you alive and screaming the answers.” Carl tells him.

“Right old man. I’ll be sure to tell the lawyer who bails me out all about this bullshit.” Ames tells him.

I wanted to rip the bastard’s head off to get answers. Not let him go where Julian would likely have Stockwell get him out. Which Ames seems to think as well.

“I doubt the fact that you once again lost Justin will have Julian willing to help you at all. He’d have to admit he asked you to kidnap Justin, and we both know Julian hangs others out to dry for what he does.” Ben tells him. Then when Ames doesn’t seem worried he adds, “You really think Julian gives a rat’s ass about you?” Ben asks, and Ames thinks hard at that moment, but seems to think he still has the upper hand.

“I’m ready to go in Officer.” Ames taunted Carl.

“No problem. Just don’t expect anyone to help you, since you’ll be taken somewhere where violating your rights won’t bother anyone.” Carl says, confusing me and Ames. “Stockwell has no power where the guys outside will be taking you. And the people you’ll be dealing with are more interested in Justin than in you. I doubt your going to be able to talk to anyone until they get some answers.” Carl tells him.

“Those officers are going to go against Julian? Sounds like you're fooling yourself, they know better than to mess with Julian.” Ames tells him, blowing him off.

“We aren’t on the payroll, and we do respect Carl. If he says take you out back and lose the body, well then, we lose it. All of us really hate the bullshit Stockwell does for people like your boss.” The officer standing at the door tells him.

“Where are you taking me?” He asks.

“The CIA decided not to blackmail Justin, just help him. Granted, they want him badly, so if it means hurting you to find the prize… well, you get what you ask for.” Carl tells him.

“Or tell us what we want to know and likely you can sit safely in a cell at headquarters.” Ben tells him.

Ames stood there weighing his options, seeing the guys waiting outside made him know this wasn’t a joke. Knowing the CIA were the ones taking him was enough to have him talking.

“He was just supposed to help me wrangle Justin. I don’t really know him... except that he works for a few of the other businesses Julian deals with.” He tells them.

“Why would this guy take Justin?” Carl asks.

“Because it would be a way to make Julian beg.” Ben tells him.

“Who does the guy work for normally?” I ask.

“The one who pays him the most.” Ames tells us.

“One last chance to save yourself. WHO?” Carl asks him, aiming.

“Shit man, you don’t understand. I’ll be dead.” Ames tells him.

“You think keeping silent is going to help you?” Carl asks.

“I didn’t do anything, other than try to protect Justin.” Ames tells him, trying to save his own ass.

“Then save us the trouble and tell us where Justin is, since this is all a misunderstanding.” I tell him.

“For that we make a deal.” He tells us, no longer answering when the Agent stopped Carl from taking it any further.

“We have to do this the right way.” He tells Carl, dragging Ames out of the loft.

“I miss when we didn’t.” Carl tells him.

“What do you want us to do?” The agent asks Carl.

“Make him sweat, and get me answers. I told you what Sapperstein was likely doing and he would love to get his hands on Justin to make Julian beg.” Carl tells him, receiving a nod before they drove off.

“We’ll find him son.” Carl tells me.

JULIAN

I waited with little Miss Chanders, who wasn’t that hard to find when she walked into my office. Which she did while shutting down the power in the building. While impressed at her gaul, it was parlor tricks, not something that would do anything for me. I let her have her fantasy that she impressed me, while I read all about the spoiled debutant with aspirations to rebel. The idiot in IT brought me the information, likely hoping I’d see him as my next Justin. I dismissed him, when by ignoring everything to get  the information, it left us open for the girl sitting in front of me to get in my office. 

I was getting annoyed that Ames was taking so long to get Justin to me. Justin really thought I’d let him get away with emailing me as if everything he had in life didn’t come from me. I checked my watch, wondering how long it took Ames to knock Justin out and drag him here.

When my phone started ringing I didn’t answer. It was Gary, and the man was on his way out of my life. I’d freed my company of anything related to him. All it took was telling the guy it was done today or he went for round two with Gary’s friends to get him to sober up and finish. I contacted each person who bought merchandise, letting them see a copy of what the world would see if for any reason they included me if they were caught. I didn’t trust that information sent via mail or anything that could be traced, so I gave Gardner a second chance, which he grabbed willingly to live the life he sold himself for. He didn’t even ask, just went where I told him and delivered the messages.

Now all I needed was to keep Justin out of Gary’s reach until Stockwell held up on his end of the bargain. While the clients would do what I asked, it didn’t mean they wouldn’t tell Gary his life was about to be ruined. Which meant Justin wouldn’t be safe from Gary no matter what I threatened him with. I wanted it so no one would want to be associated with Gary. And Stockwell saw all he needed to see to know this would only make his ‘Family Values’ sound less like he was a homophobic dickhead, and more like he was a savior to the city.

“You’re looking worried.” Daphne says studying me.

“Not about you, don’t let your ego get above your worth.” I tell her.

“Is there a reason we’re still sitting here?” She asks, as if she expected a medal.

“I don’t know, why are we sitting here? From what I'm reading you’re nothing more than an annoyance, really not worth the time I thought you were.” I tell her, starting to get worried, since they should be here by now.

“I’m hurt, really.” She tells me, rolling her eyes.

“Not to worry, you can tell the police all about it.” I tell her.

“Police. Are you sure you want to go that route? You might want to rethink that.” She tells me.

“Not really, you just aren’t that interesting.” I tell her.

“I guess not, well as much as I’d love to talk to the police, I have other things to do.” She tells me, getting up as if she could just walk out.

“My men are waiting outside the door.” I tell her.

“They were.” She said walking out, shutting the door.

I got up, running to the door but not being able to get the lock to disengage, or any of the cameras to work. My phones were all dead, and by the time they were back on she was gone. And the security guys I told the idiot in IT to get, weren’t there. I planned to kill the shit, until I found him locked in the supply closet. 

Where the fuck were Justin and Ames?

MICHAEL

I left the police station, bummed because Ben didn’t show. I didn’t have anywhere to be today, and no one was answering their phones. With nothing to do, I wander around hoping for someone to call me. I’d been window shopping when I saw Blake on the other side of the street going somewhere in a hurry. I’d been less than friendly towards Blake, and in my hopes of improvement, I decided to support my friend’s decisions even when they seem wrong. I ran after Blake, planning to see if he wanted to have lunch and maybe hang out. 

I ended up following him to parts of Pittsburgh I tended to avoid, then wondered what the hell Blake would be doing here. It was hard to get past the only reasons Blake might come here, but I did, wanting him to be what Ted wanted him to be. I ended up losing Blake and deciding operation ‘accept my friends choices’ could be done later. I took a shortcut through a few alleyways, finally seeing Babylon, almost getting hit by a car blowing past me as if he didn’t care if he killed someone. It turned the next corner and I followed, planning to report the person for driving like a maniac. When I got to the corner, I was happy to see I didn’t have to chase the crazy asshole down, since the car was stopped at a warehouse I thought was condemned.  

I ended up ducking back around the corner when I saw the guy hauling someone over his shoulder and walking away. Then I saw the guy who I wanted to blame for everything in my life being dragged out of the car by another guy. I didn’t know what the hell was going on until Justin turned his head and stared directly at me. As the other guy spotted me I did exactly what Justin told me to. I felt like a coward, but who was going to tell everyone where to find him if I didn’t get away.

“RUN.” Justin yelled, right before the other guy hit him.

MICHAEL 

Thank you Brian, for making me work out when I'd rather have a donut. I kept bitching with everything in me about the shit Brian made me do at the gym, trying to block out that I took off like a coward. It didn’t matter that’s what Justin told me to do. What mattered was that he was in some kind of trouble, and unlike my friends, I didn’t try to figure out how to help. I honestly didn’t even know if anyone was chasing me, so I ran into the first store I found, to think. 

Pulling out my phone, I had a decision to make, I had to decide who to call. I had a feeling if I called Brian, he’d do what Brian did and try to handle it on his own. Brian thought on his feet, and usually managed to fix everything. As much as it hurt to admit, Brian wouldn’t think with his head when it came to Justin, but with his heart. I knew that to Brian, Justin was different. In the past Brian never cared about me meeting people that wanted Brian. I started to really analyze why he would keep Justin away from me, and didn’t like what I came up with. Because every thought was how to make Justin disappear and have my life the way I wanted it to be. I didn’t want to believe I was that selfish, but everything came back to that being the case. 

I’ve known the truth about Brian and me for a long time, but managed to convince myself it couldn’t be true. I kept the belief in my head that everything Brian was doing was just his fear of loving me in the way he would have to in order for us to be together. It didn’t matter to me what anyone said, in my head Brian just wasn’t ready for what I wanted. When Brian started to change after meeting Justin, I didn’t want to believe that what I wanted with him, he wanted with someone else. I didn’t want my dreams to die, yet I wanted Brian to be happy. And now I had to accept that it wasn’t going to be me. Which meant doing what I could to make sure Brian didn’t lose what he never wanted with me. I didn’t call Brian, but the person who for once treated me like I was who he wanted.

“Michael, can I call you back?” Ben asked, sounding distracted.

“No. I need you to know where I’m going.” I tell him the location of where I saw Justin being taken and hang up as he tells me to stay where I am.

For once I’m going to do what Brian did for me, and hope I’m not going to regret my moment of stupidity. I also didn’t rush out to be caught, but wanted to make sure they could find us if we gotten taken somewhere else. It wasn’t a good sign that they carried some kid in unconscious and then knocked Justin out after he yelled at me. It screamed louder than Justin did that something was seriously wrong with whatever they wanted with Justin. I thought about every comic villain I’d ever read about, and while it sounded strange it gave me an idea. One that I hoped no one ever found out about. I went into the bathroom, and pulled down my pants, stuffing my phone in a place no one ever patted down in all the cop dramas Ma and Uncle Vic would watch. It wasn’t comfortable and a bit startling when my phone was vibrating next to my balls, but I doubted anyone would grope me and find it. For the first time, I walked towards trouble, hoping to be the hero I wanted everyone else to be for me. It only took seconds for someone to grab me, and that’s all I remembered until I woke up next to a scared kid.

JUSTIN

My headache made it hard for me to believe the asshole in front of me was upset at how his men got me here. Before Brian, people didn’t make a lot of sense to me. I always had a hard time distinguishing between what they said and the real feeling behind it. Sapperstein’s fake concern wasn’t hard to read, when everything about the way he was looking at me made me want to throw up on his slimy face. 

“I can’t believe what they did to you. I only wanted to talk to you.” He tells me.

For once I could use what Brian thought was my shyness as an advantage, since talking was beyond me. Anger made it easier for me to talk, but right now I was scared and wanted to revert to living in my head. I needed to know what they knew, if they had a clue about what I thought was going on. In the past, people got nervous or talkative when I stared at them. So I did what I’d done most of my life and stared through him like nothing he had to say was anything worth listening to. 

Sapperstein frowned when I didn’t ask him anything, then started to fidget like he didn’t know what to do when I just sat there.

“Julian mentioned you were a bit odd.” He mumbled to himself, then sat in the chair in front of me, before talking again. “I really am sorry about how my people brought you here, but I was worried about what Julian planned to do with you. He’s not who he makes everyone think he is, and I didn’t want him to do to you what he makes me do to others.” He tells me.

He didn’t stop me when I got up and started wandering around the room, the door was locked but he even seemed to have an explanation for how it was to protect me from my evil boss. 

“It’s not to keep you here. It’s just to make sure that if Julian shows up I have a way to get you out of here without him catching you.” He tells me.

“Why… What… I don’t understand… Julian leaves me alone.” I stumbled through, wanting Sapperstein to believe I was weak. Even though part of it was me having a hard time saying anything.

“I’m sure he did, until his interest in you changed. He no longer wants you to see him as your boss but as something I doubt you want, since your interest is in the whore of Babylon.” Gary says, shaking his head at the last part. “You do understand Brian Kinney fucks everything that walks and none of them are more than that to him. I’ll admit I was cheering you on since you’re the first person he’s spent more than a hour or two with, but in the end he isn’t going to stick around.” He tells me.

With that comment my anger took over. Who the fuck did he think he was to judge Brian’s life? This man was a monster and thought he could talk about Brian like he was the scum beneath our feet.

“Why do you think I care?” I ask, walking around behind him, looking for a way out of here.

“From everything Julian seems to say…”

“Julian’s jealous. But that’s normal for him. It doesn’t explain why you think I need to be here with you.” I tell him.

“Julian and I have been sort of rivals in life, and when I saw you I realized something about you was important to him. I just want to know what it is. I’m sure you what to know why. Well I’ll tell you, it’s because he can be dangerous when he feels like someone is getting what he wants. How do I know? He’s been jealous of me since his father barely cares if he exists, but watches over me. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but it was to protect Carter and me from Julian’s wrath. I want out of dealing with Julian, and something tells me you could help me.” He tells me.

“I find hackers, which wouldn’t help you.” I tell him, hoping he’ll be stupid enough give me a computer.

“There has to be more. He’s never given a shit about anyone other than himself. With you, if he could, I think he’d pee a circle around you to warn anyone off.” He tells me.

“I’m sure he would, because he knows there isn’t anything he could hide that I couldn’t find.” I tell him, seeing him perk up at hearing that. “I’ve never bothered to look, but I plan to if this bullshit over a guy doesn’t stop.” I tell him.

The door opened and the guy who dragged me in here whispered something into Sapperstein’s ear that had him pissed. He got up and walked out the door with the guy before slamming it shut so hard the door opened up just enough that I could hear them.

“Where did you put him?” Sapperstein asks, barely concealing his anger.

“With the other merchandise.” He tells Sapperstein.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You grabbed the fucking son of the mother of Liberty Avenue, then thought it was a good idea to leave him with someone who could tell him things that would have our asses on the line?!” Sapperstein says, losing control. “Do you understand what you just did? That woman will move heaven and earth for him, and you just brought him here? I’ve told you time and time again that guy is off limits, and what do you do Jake? You fucking bring the loud mouth here.” He said, slapping the guy.

“He saw us. What was I supposed to do, let him take off? I just barely managed to find him, and it’s likely he already told someone what he saw.” Jake tells him.

“What you should have done was tell me, so we could have left right away. It also means we need to go now, because one thing Michael isn’t capable of is keeping anything to himself.” Sapperstein tells him, noticing me looking through the crack at the door. “Great.” He said when he realized he just blew any chances of me believing anything he said to me. “Go get the fucking car, and let’s get out of here before we end up having to explain this. Don’t make me show you what happens when you fuck this up.” He tells Jake.

Sapperstein came back in, only this time he pulled out a gun. “I guess you’ll either see the advantage of working for me, or you’ll figure out you should have.” He tells me, taking me by the arm and taking me with him.

We got to the door leading outside and I could have run, but I saw Michael and some kid being shoved into the SUV waiting and couldn’t leave them behind. I didn’t get in the front when Sapperstein tried to put me there but shook him off and got in next to Michael.

“Fuck me over and you’ll get to join in with their fate.” Sapperstein says, slamming the door and getting in the other SUV.

“Do me a favor and hold on.” Jake tells us, which was odd, until he started the car and slammed into the SUV Sapperstein was in. “I hate that fucker. Mark, you okay?” Jake asks, looking worried at the kid.

“Did you really have to knock me out?” Mark complains.

“Did you really have to flirt with that fuck Gary?” Jake asks, speeding up when the car behind us started chasing us.

“Well you said I needed to make sure the fucker saw a reason to want me.” Mark tells us.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Michael says, as confused as I am.

“Just be happy your mother isn’t going to have to worry about you.” Mark tells him, rolling his eyes. “I swear to God if I had to hear about all the people who would be looking for you for another minute I would have begged to be knocked out again.” Mark tells him.

“I just wanted you to know that someone would look for us.” Michael said, suddenly shifting around like his pants were on fire.

“What the hell is with that? You’ve been wiggling around the whole time.” Mark asks.

“Can I… can you guys… fuck…” I said. Stopping when Michael seemed to know what I was asking.

“Who the fuck are you, and why are you running from your boss?” Michael asks.

“We’re running because we were told to make sure Justin is safe.” Mark says, when Jake took a hard left, blending into traffic. 

I looked behind us when we heard a screech and saw the other SUV hitting two other cars. Jake drove slower and didn’t seem worried about it anymore, but continued to take us away from Pittsburgh.

“Which doesn’t tell either of us anything.” Michael tells him sarcastically, then giggles for some reason, once again wiggling.

“Our agency wanted to make sure Justin knew we’d help without the blackmail.” Jake tells us.

“Agency?” I asked.

“FBI. The CIA really shouldn’t be involved in this, this is something we investigate, not them.” Jake tells us.

“How did you get involved? I didn’t even know there was anything until recently.” I ask.

“Unlike our counterpart, we have been looking into this shit. Until you started to distance yourself from Julian we honestly didn’t know if you were part of it or if you would help us. Once you did, the order came down to try to get close to you.” Jake tells us.

“And do what, try to get him to help you? Why not just ask him?” Michael asks.

“Because until recently Justin barely made a move that wasn’t watched by Julian. I’d spent years making sure the scumbags I had to fool believed I was one of them. Which meant making friends with Julian’s favorite toy wasn’t in our interest, especially when the toy didn’t talk.” Jake said looking at me.

“He talks. And sorry if we don’t believe you but the fact that both of us were knocked out and dragged into the shit might make us a bit wary.” Michael tells him.

“I… have a… hard time with… talking.” I told Michael.

“But you can listen, which means they could have just told you.” Michael said, not even looking at me strange.

“No one knows what Justin’s doing, trust me. We were left waiting, because no one can get past the firewalls he builds. In truth, we thought he was clueless to the whole thing with Julian and Gary. Are you?” Mark asks.

“You tell us what you know first.” Michael tells them.

“Justin, what do you know?” Jake asks, ignoring Michael.

“That you didn’t protect the kids… just let them be taken.” I told him.

“What?!” Michael screeched as Jake drove us over the bridge.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“I think you’ll like Virgina.” Jake answered, smiling.

“We tried Justin, but we wanted them all to go down, not just Sapperstein.” Mark tells me.

“So some kids get hurt, but that’s okay?” Michael asks, once again wiggling all over.

“No it’s not, but Sapperstein is the small guy in all of this, we wanted to shut this shit down. What they hell is wrong with you?” Mark asks, climbing to the front.

“I wanted to make sure someone could find Justin and me, so I thought I’d hide my phone where no one would look.” Michael said going red.

“Where?” Mark asked, looking at Michael.

I couldn’t help the giggle that came out when I pieced it together. “It’s on vibrate?” I asked.

“We’ll it would sort of give itself away if it rang. Although the vibrating is about to get embarrassing.” Michael tells me.

“Dude, really?” Jake asks.

“I still have my phone. So maybe be impressed instead of shocked.” Michael tells them.

“Who’s ringing your bell?” Mark snickers.

Michael turned and dug into his pants, pulling it out and looking to see. “I guess Ben really does give a shit.” Michael said smiling, then turned it to me so I could see how many times Ben called and the non-stop texts he was getting.

“Ben, as in Justin’s other guard dog?” Jake asks.

“He’s helping me.” I tell him.

“What makes you think he’s not really helping Julian?” Mark asks.

“He’s CIA.” I tell them.

“Why was he talking to me then?” Michael asks, shoulders slumping as if he was waiting to hear Ben was only doing his job.

“He was trying to… get something on Brian to use… but I think… he didn’t like that he was having to use you… Brian didn’t and warned him… not to let you get hurt… it’s why Ben backed off from you. He told Brian he didn’t want you to get hurt, and Brian told him you’d be there when we did what we thought we needed to do.” I tell him.

“Lovely. We likely just pissed off the CIA. Can you do us a favor and tell them you like us better?” Mark jokes.

DAPHNE

Blake was waiting for me when I ran out of the building. Julian thought I was there to show off. Which worked for me since it gave me time to copy all his closed network files. It was one area we couldn’t get to from the outside. Julian was paranoid. So unlike Sapp he wasn’t stupid enough to believe he was safe from hackers. Julian was smart enough to know better. Which made me worry. I was sure we’d catch Sapperstien, but for years nothing stuck to Julian because he knew how to work people and the system. I knew if Julian managed to get out of this, Justin would spend his life trying to nail him. I didn’t want that for Justin. I wanted him to have this life he was building with Brian. Something I could see Brian wanted with Justin. Brian’s past of not letting people get close told me Justin meant more than anyone to Brian. I listened to all Brian’s friends, and the descriptions they gave of Brian’s friendship made me see that Brian needed Justin the same way Justin needed Brian. So I stopped sitting around searching for information and went to the source. I didn’t needed to be caught to find out anything, I needed to go to the source and let him give it to me. It was also the feeling that Julian didn’t like the stain of what we thought could have on him and his family name that made me want to do more, the bastard wasn’t going got out of this clean.

I grew up in the same world, just like Lindsay did. And one of the things I learned was they always had a patsy. Find someone to blame for the shit you did. Check. Julian had petty criminal Sapperstein for that. Be friends but always keep them outside of your own life. Check. Sapperstein was never invited to anything that would link him to Julian. Make sure to have someone in your pocket so that everything fell on the idiot who believed you were said friend. Check again. Since Stockwell sent an email to one of his pet detectives to start harassing Gary Sapperstein and to arrest him for anything they could. At that point I knew Julian was going to distance himself from anything linking him and Gary, and the only place Julian might have believed the information was safe was a system only he had access to. Which meant I needed to copy the information on the laptop he kept unplugged from the rest of the system. Which was why the power had to go. I didn’t need him figuring out what I’d been doing. I giggled about the minute he figured it out I duped him.

“What did you do?” Blake asks.

“I left Julian some dancing bunnies.” I tell him.

“I thought he wasn’t supposed to know why you were there?” Blake asks me, sounding like a parent chiding me.

“Then he’ll realize he underestimated me.” I tell him, shrugging. Even thought I told myself I didn’t care, having someone treat me like I was worthless was never fun. 

My phone rang before Blake could comment, and seeing Brian’s name on my phone said I couldn’t ignore it. Blake stopped the car when I hung up, probably seeing what I couldn’t hide, my worry about my best friend.

“Tell me.” Blake says.

“Someone took Justin. At first it was supposed to be to Julian, only I was with Julian and the whole time he seemed to be distracted, which I put off as him wanting me to see I was nothing to him. Only now I know it’s because he was waiting for Justin and he didn’t show up.” I tell him.

“Fuck. Look, I need to go, do you want me to drop you somewhere?” Blake asks.

“Justin’s missing and you need to go?” I ask. But then remembered Blake wasn’t really part of the group Justin was hanging around now.

“It’s because he’s missing that I need to go.” Blake tells me.

I looked at Blake and what I saw was worry, but for what I didn’t know. “Are you involved in this thing with Julian and Sapperstein?” I asked, since it was strange that he offered to take me when everyone else was busy.

“No. If anything I want them taken down as much as you do.” Blake tells me.

“Explain.” I demand.

“It’s goes back a lot further and connects me to Justin, not the others. Not that I realized Justin was who I’d been dealing with.” He tells me.

“That doesn’t explain anything.” I tell him.

“I’ll explain it but I don’t want to explain it twice, so let’s go meet up with everyone.” Blake tells me.

“Only if you answer one question and I want you to look me in the eye.” I tell him.

“You don’t have to ask. I’d do anything to help Justin. Because even when he didn’t know who he was helping he kept my family from losing everything when he stole back the money that their accountant embezzled from them.” Blake tells me.

“Does he know about you?” I ask.

“I told him, but then when I realized he didn’t want to be idolized I asked him to teach me how so I could help others. So I could pay it forward.” He tells me.

“Is that why you want to help him now?” I ask.

“No. I want to help him because at one time I could have been one of the kids Justin wants to find. Only I got lucky, because the night I agreed to go to one of Sapp’s parties I met Ted instead. Which is something I think I need to tell everyone, since I didn’t the night they were telling me about what Justin was looking into.” He tells me.

“Why not tell them?” I asked.

“Because it would bring up the night Ted almost died because of me.” Blake tells me.

“I’ll wait so you don’t have to tell this twice, but right now we need to find Justin.” I tell him.

JUSTIN

When Jake stopped the car for a bathroom break, I grabbed Michael and told him we were leaving. At first he looked at me like I was crazy, but followed me. We found a truck driver, Fred, who was going to Pittsburgh and was happy to have someone to talk to on his way. Michael joked if the guy was a perv we could kick grandpa’s ass. It helped that he was a conspiracy theorist and didn’t trust anyone in the government. He was thrilled to thwart the FBI, and all I wanted was to get back to Brian. I had a feeling he was blaming himself for what happened, but I wouldn’t let him do that to himself.

“He’s probably climbing the wall worried about you.” Michael whispers to me.

“Likely you too.” I tell him.

“Yeah, but I’m just his friend. You’re the guy he loves.” Michael said, and I could tell it hurt him to say it.

“You mean a lot to him. I could tell when he was warning Ben. He loves you, maybe not the way you wanted, but you mean a lot to him.” I tell him.

“I spent my whole life wishing he would want me.” Michael tells me.

“Does it bother you about him and me?” I ask.

“Only if you hurt him. He’s been hurt all his life. For once I’m going to be the friend I tell him I am and be happy he’s found someone he trusts with his heart.” Michael tells me.

“I kept trying to push him away, but it’s like it only makes him angry that I want to protect him.” I tell Michael.

“Brian’s spent his life protecting people, and having you push away from him would make him think you don’t believe in him.” Michael tells me.

“That’s true. A relationship is all about sharing not just the good times but the bad.” Fred tells us.

“My life… until I meet him was predictable… now it’s like everything is going crazy and it affects him.” I tell them both.

“If he’s sticking around than it’s obvious he doesn’t care as long as he has you.” Fred tells me.

“The people in my life aren’t the kind who care about me or him. They only care that they keep their secrets from exploding in their faces.” I tell him.

“That’s why you need Brian. So there is someone who cares what happens to you. He’s always been like that with all of us, and having the guy he’s in love with in danger will make him run into a burning building if that’s what it takes. He needs to know your okay.” Michael tells me, handing me his phone.

“You didn’t call him? Son, what the hell were you thinking?” Fred asks.

“I wasn’t.” I tell them, taking Michael’s phone.

“Michael, where the fuck are you?!” Brian yelled.

“It’s me.” I whisper.

“Tell me your okay.” Brian whispers. I can hear the love and fear in his voice.

“Both Michael and I are, we’re on our way back to Pittsburgh. We got someone to help us.” I tell him putting him on speaker.

“I can come get you.” Brian offered.

“I’ll get them to you safe and sound. Just tell me where you need me to take them. I don’t think stopping would be a good idea, they have the Feds chasing them.” Fred tells Brian.

“What about the guys who took you?” Brian asks.

“They told us they were the FBI and were taking us to Virginia.” Michael tells him.

“Why Virginia?” Brian asked.

“That was my thought, so Michael and I ditched them.” I tell him.

“They probably wanted to keep your boy. Taking him as far away as they could, hiding him in one of their secret locations.” Fred tells him.

“They said they want to help us. But I have a problem with the fact that they were watching Sapperstein and didn’t do anything.” I tell Brian.

“Why were they watching that piece of crap?” Fred asks.

“Because Sapp is a piece of shit. He does all sorts of shit that should land his ass in jail.” Michael tells him.

“You know Sapp?” Brian asked.

“Not personally. Just what I hear from other truckers looking to make a little on the side. Me, I’d rather keep my shitty pay and my morals.” Fred tells him.

“Do you know what he offers the other drivers, or what he wants them to help him with?” I ask.

“Yeah. Transportation of things that would get us a nice stay in a place I never want to visit. He never bothered with me, but it’s because I keep my nose clean if you know what I mean.” Fred tells us.

“How about you explain that when you get Justin back to me.” Brian tells him.

LINDSAY    

Until today I always hated coming to events, but for once this would help the people who mean something to me. My Dad ran interference when my mother wanted me to ask Julian to attend some of her events. She didn’t care that he insulted her or Lynette, just that he was deemed important. I found George Jr, with his wife and mother.

“I never really understood Virginia. Why punish herself and George when neither of them gave a shit about the other anymore? Virginia was just as connected as George was, they were a marriage of two dynasties. She could have quietly divorced George and gotten on with her life.” I tell my Dad.

“If he’d taken off with another woman, she probably would have. You know how people around here are; they’d eat her alive for being married to a gay man. She spent years being a bitch to others and knows George isn’t going to protect her from what the others would feel was their right for what she did to them.” He tells me.

“I just need to know about Carter, without Virginia repeating the conversation.” I tell him.

My Dad kisses my cheek and walks over to the table, I watch as he tells Virginia my mother needs help with organizing. I really wanted to kiss him for the shit my mother would give him when Virginia started disapproving of everything my mother planned. I also saw an ally when George Jr’s wife sighed with relief at Virginia’s departure. I went over and sat in Virginia’s chair to the confusion of the two of them, since they’d never met me.

“I need to ask you some questions, and before I do, understand that I’m friends with your father.” I tell them, not willing to act like George wasn’t someone I was proud to know.

“I reserve the right not to tell you anything if you think I care what my father thinks.” George Jr tells me.

“I actually wanted to know why you didn’t associate with Carter Yates.” I tell him.

George looked haunted for a second, then turned to his wife and asked her to check on his mother. She leaned into him and whispered something before she walked off upset.

“Why are you asking about him?” He asked me.

“I want to know the man my friends are up against. Their dealing with Julian, and somehow that links to Carter.” I tell him.

“He’s the fucking scum of the earth, but has a family that keeps him from having to admit what he is.” He tells me.

“By keeping him away from everyone?” I ask.

“They tried to make us accept the bastard, but my friends and I did what we could to keep him away from our families. We slammed enough doors and recendened enough invitations so they’d get the hint we wouldn’t accept his kind among us.” He tells me.

“That he was gay?” I ask, since that was why they slammed the door on George.

“You think that bothers me?” He asks.

“Doesn’t it? You left George out of your life.” I tell him.

“I left my father out of my life because I know he resents us for being the reason he stayed with my mother. He could have saved me and my siblings from having to watch the farce they called their marriage by not being a coward.” He tells me.

“You also seem to forget that at the time being gay wasn’t something anyone would have accepted.” My father tells him, sitting down. “We only have ten minutes at the most, so ask what you wanted.” He tells me.

“Why did you dislike Carter?” I asked.

“Because the bastard tried to rape me. Only he didn’t count on my friends finding us.” He tells us.

“I don’t remember anything be reported about that.” My father tells him.

“Because my mother didn’t want anyone to think I encouraged the asshole. Everyone saw me talking to him, and that I walked off with him willingly. We’d seen how Carter’s father managed to turn everything into the other person’s fault and my mother didn’t want that to happen to me.” He tells us.

“So she did what worked. Made it so Carter got cut from all events.” I said, seeing how they turned the tables on someone as powerful the Yates.

“I know how you feel about my mother, but one thing even my father will tell you is my mother would fight the devil to protect us. You asked why I don’t bother with my father. It’s because when this happened he didn’t even bother to find out why. Tell my father… be happy.” He tells us, getting up to go to his wife, who didn’t care what anyone thought and held him.

“Lindsay, do George a favor and tell him what his son told you.” Dad tells me.

“Why? It would only hurt him.” I tell him.

“Because it’s never too late to be the hero for your child. Something I don’t see Virginia as when she only slammed a door and rescinded an invitation.” He tells me.

“She protected him.” I tell him.

“And left Carter free to hurt someone else, all to keep anyone from finding out her son was almost raped. Tell me, if it was Gus, no matter when it happened, would you have just shut your door?” He asks.

“No. Mel and I would make sure the person didn’t have the ability to do anything to anyone else.” I tell him.

“From what I’ve heard people like Carter wouldn’t have lasted long in prison.” He tells me, walking me out.

“Who said anything about jail?” I tell him, kissing his cheek.

“If it was either of my children or Gus, I’d bring the shovel.” He tells me.

“That’s why we love you.” I tell him.

“That’s why your mother will have to deal with you and Mel coming to the wedding as our daughters.” He tells me.

“Neither of us want to upstage Lynette on her day.” I tell him.

“You both did that by loving each other, and I won’t hide how proud I am of you and Mel.” He tells me.

I walked out thinking I believed I was past caring about my parents approval, but realized having it was okay too. I thought long and hard about what to tell George, but in the end I knew the man his son didn’t, and knew he didn’t care about preserving his image. He’d bring the shovel too.

BRIAN

When the semi pulled up, Michael and Justin hopped down. In the past, I would have checked on Michael first, but the man who owned my heart had all my attention. Justin walked behind Michael, and I bypassed Michael to pull Justin to me. I needed to know he was whole. That he was there with me. It didn’t matter that it only been hours, I felt like I lost part of me when he wasn’t somewhere I could see him.

“I’m alright… we need to talk to Ben about…” I cut him off with a kiss.

“I need you right now.” I tell him.

“So I told Justin and Michael what I knew, and left them with my contact information. I’ll let you guys know if I find out anything else, but I need to get this haul to the store on time.” Fred tells us, looking past us.

“Fred, is that you?” George asks.

“I have to go.” Fred says, backing his truck up.

“He’s pretty cool.” Michael tells us.

“He’s the one that got away.” George tells us, walking into the house.

Justin pulled back and put his forehead on mine. He held my face in his hands and kept me from looking away from him when I felt like it was my fault this happened to him.

“Sapperstein has a warehouse, and with what Fred was saying, how much you want to bet they were transporting more than drugs for Sapperstein?” He asks me.

“I should have…”

“It wouldn’t have mattered if you were there. What matters is that your here with me.” He tells me kissing me.

JUSTIN

Laying down next to Brian, I thought back to the belief I had that being alone was better. I thought about why, that first time, I had stopped to look up at Brian’s window. I realized it wasn’t seeing him as like me, but wanting to see how he handled the world when nothing in it seemed to touch him. I didn’t see being alone as being better anymore, and I needed to see that Brian needed me to show him. He knew I wanted him, but that wasn’t anything new for him. He needed to know I wasn’t going to yank away the love I gave him. While he was alone in his world, he hoarded people, and did everything he could to keep them in his life. 

Something I didn’t see when I watched him was that he wasn’t letting the friends stick around for any reason other than they stayed even when he acted like it didn’t matter to him. Something that, if I didn’t know before I certainly did now was that I mattered to him the most. It was in the way he ignored everyone when we needed each other for something. Nothing mattered to him but for us to be alone together, at least long enough for him to know I was still whole and really back with him. I never understood the idea that one person could be your whole world, but then I had never had someone like Brian in my life. He didn’t care if I stumbled my way through the world. He didn’t find it strange if it took me a minute to answer because I was thinking hard of how to answer a question. Nothing about me bothered him, and he knew nothing about his life bothered me. I didn’t judge him for the way he lived his life, and he didn’t hide the parts no one seemed to see from me. 

Brian didn’t just tear our clothes off. Instead, he maped every inch of me. Looking to see if there was a blemish or bruise I was hiding from him. He treated me like I was fragile. At first I wasn’t thrilled, but then I realized he didn’t see me as fragile. That wasn’t what it was for him. He needed to see there wasn’t anything hiding where no one could see. I put it together in my head; what he’d said about his parents, the way he never got close to anyone, and the fact that he was looking in places that hid the bruises. I didn’t bother to ask, because the minute he was done, the tension leached out of him, but he needed me to show him what he hid from others growing up. It also made me understand that what we were looking into would affect him more than any of us. He knew what it was like to have things done to you and not be able to escape it.

“Other than being jostled around, no one touched me.” I tell him.

“I had… to see it for myself.” He tells me.

“I’d never hide it from you.” I tell him.

“Even though you might have had to hold me back from killing any asshole if they touched you?” He asked, sitting on the bed and pulling me to him.

“Even then. You’re the one person I’d tell everything to.” I tell him.

“Why?” He asked, seeming only to want to hear the answer.

“Because no matter what I said or did, you would still love me. Still want me.” I tell him.

“You finally got it through your head. That there’s nothing I could know about you that would change anything. I know with you, nothing in my life would bother you. You don’t care about my past, you don’t see it as the definition of me.” Brian tells me.

It wasn’t romantic bullshit, just the simple truth. No one saw past the persona to the man who wanted to find where he fit in the world. All everyone saw was the man who every man wanted to be with or be like. None of them saw the man who distanced himself from others because they couldn’t see past the window dressing to the man he was. I saw it, but only because I hid in a world where I never had to really interact with others. The only difference was that he hid in the crowds. 

“I need to tell you about Blake.” I told him, rubbing my nose on his chest.

“About how you know him?” Brian asks.

“You knew I knew Blake?” I asked.

“You looked right at him when we were leaving, the first time he showed up. For you it meant you knew him in some way.” He tells me.

“Barely. We aren’t more than acquaintances.” I tell him. 

“How would Blake describe you?” he asks.

“At first, as if I was some kind of hero that saved his family. I didn’t even know who it was that I was helping. Just that they got screwed by trusting the man who stole from them. I didn’t want praise for helping people when it was something they couldn’t do for themselves. Especially when I only did it because I could.” I tell him.

“Which, whether you like it or not is what a real hero does. Why do you think in all the comics Michael reads, the hero has a secret identity. It’s because the hero only does what he does because others can’t do it. I know all this started with Julian by me being in your life, but in the end you never really trusted or liked him.” He tells me.

“I never really cared, and part of me wonders how I could have helped him.” I tell him.

“And like me, you want to blame yourself for something that you couldn’t have done anything about. So I want you to listen to me… What Julian did is what Julian did, what you did was track down people who shouldn’t have been doing what they did. Is that getting through to you? Because it’s something I don’t like that you do to yourself.” He says to me.

“It’s something you do yourself.” I tell him.

“I know, and will work on it, but you have to do the same.” He tells me.

“I will. But we need to figure this out and get them out of our lives.” I tell him.

As we got dressed I let the memories of how he slowly made love to me stay in my mind, The way he stared into my eyes as he slowly thrusted into me. Making sure I saw that by coming back to him, letting him do what he needed to see everything was okay, it gave him the peace he gave me. I had a feeling I would need those memories to get through the next few hours, days, or the rest of our lives.

MEL

Lindsay was laying in my arms, upset, but needing me to help her do what her father told her to do. Instead of running to Brian, she came to me and told me what she found out. It wasn’t new, but it just felt good that she no longer even questioned who to go to when she needed help. It started with Ron’s visits, something she knew Brian wasn’t going to be happy we were allowing. It’s the first time I really saw Lindsay’s fears. Only they were directed at Brian’s reaction instead of mine. It made sense to me, thinking about what living with Nancy was like for Lindsay. Nancy wanted something Lindsay couldn’t be, and saw a way to use it against her. Only she didn’t understand that loving Lindsay would have gotten her the daughter who I was proud of. 

“Daddy thinks George should know.” She said, not sure if it was a question or statement.

“It might give George a way to understand why his son won’t talk to him.” I tell her.

“I’m just worried, but then you’ll be there if he needs help when he kills the asshole.” She tells me, making me feel ten feet tall for the faith she has in me.

EMMETT    

When I got to the house I was relieved to know that Michael and Justin were safe, but I could see something was bothering George. He told everyone he was going to rest and to let him know if they needed him. I wanted to follow him and help him with whatever was bothering him, but Mel stopped me as she and Lindsay came in the room. I listened to what Lindsay found out, then decided I should be the one who told him. It would also give me time to find out why he seemed less happy than the man I had come to know.

I knew exactly where to find him, and made us drinks before grabbing his hat and heading into his garden. George was digging away, making a mess. Which meant he was really worried about something.

“I think that was one of your flowers, not a weed.” I tell him, as he ripped something out of the ground.

He looked at it, then sat back, shaking his head at the mess he’d managed to make. “You know you’re important in my life?” He asks.

“Of course, why?” I asked.

“I just don’t ever want you to doubt that.” He tells me.

“I don’t. But we both know what we have isn’t love in the traditional sense. I love you, and love being with you, but if you found someone to really give your heart to, I’d be happy for you and know it doesn’t change that we’ll always be friends.” I tell him, since we both knew it, even if we didn’t say it out loud.

“I saw the one I should have fought for today.” He tells me.

“Where?” I asked, excited because I wanted George to really love someone.

“He dropped Justin and Michael off, then took off without saying anything to me.” He tells me.

“Did it end badly between you two?” I asked.

“If I’d given in to my feelings back then, who knows what would have happened. He didn’t hide his interest, and in the end I walked away, afraid of what he was willing to give me.” He tells me.

“You’re not afraid anymore. There isn’t any reason you can’t try and see if he’s still interested.” I tell him.

“You helped me by showing me the world I’d hidden from.” He tells me.

I debated whether to say anything right now, but George knew me and he could read when I was worried about him.

 “Whatever you need to tell me, just do it.” He tells me.

I repeated what Lindsay found out about his son and Carter. How his wife handled the situation, and the reason his son was angry with him. George listened to everything, and hearing what his wife didn’t do pissed him off. 

“The family name was more important, like always.” George said, getting up.

“Even though I don’t like Virginia, at the time…” I started to say.

“She could have dealt with the Yates, but instead helped them hide the monster they created. Our two families together had more influence than the Yates family, but instead she did what they did by hiding what happened. You tell everyone; Carter is mine, and I’ll make sure everything Justin needs is given to him without any conditions.” George said, walking away before turning back to come over to the bench I was sitting on and kissing me sweetly. “I do love you, and will always need you in my life.” He tells me, before walking way and ordering his butler to get someone on the phone.

I sat there enjoying the garden, deciding to get Michael to tell me about his little adventure and see if I could help George. 

JUSTIN

Daphne and Ted were looking at printouts. Ted told both of us it was easier on him when he could organize the data in piles. Blake was pacing back and forth, waiting for us to appear.

“Before I say anything, Justin and I know each other... sort of.” Blake announces, looking at Brian who nodded to him. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ted asks, putting down the paperwork.

“Was that why you were on the other side of town, looking for Justin?” Michael asks.

“No. I didn’t know Justin was missing until Daphne told me. I was hoping to find the guy who partied with me before I met Ted.” Blake tells them.

“Why?” Ted asked, standing in front of Blake.

“The night we met… the night I…”

“You didn’t do anything I didn’t let you, it was just as much my fault.” Ted tells him.

“I was supposed to go to one of Sapp’s get togethers. Instead I chased after you, not going to it.” Blake tells him.

“Then I don’t care what happened that night, since it saved you from what we know is going on.” Ted tells him.

“Why were you looking around?” I asked.

“Because some of the others did go, and I thought they could tell us where the parties take place.” Blake tells us.

“Did you find anyone?” Brian asks.

“A kid who told me the house belongs to some rich old guy.” Blake tells us.

“Carter Yates.” George tells us, coming into the room. “Justin, anything you need will be given to you, including the information the FBI has on Sapperstein.” 

“What about Julian?” Justin asks.

“There was a slight problem with getting anything on Julian.” Ben tells us.

“Me.” Justin states.

“No one can get past your firewalls.” Daphne tells him.

“There’s also the fact that Julian doesn’t keep anything on the open network.” Hunter tells us.

“Which is why I went in.” Daphne tell us.

“To find files that have been altered to make Julian look clean.” Ted tells us.

“Then we focus on Sapperstein, while Daphne and I find the hidden files.” I tell them.

“Sapperstein is in trouble anyway.” Daphne tells us.

“How do you know?” Ben asks.

“Because Stockwell sent out emails to his troops, making it open season on Sapperstein.” Daphne tells him.

BRIAN

I was reading through the cases that were dropped in the same areas that Carter Yates went to school. Each one that was dropped coincided with Carter leaving the area. Looking the families up, all had an influx of funds around that same time frame. Hunter went deep to find out everything he could for George, who planned to ruin Carter. Michael wondered why we cared about the father, when it was the son and Gary we were after. 

“Because Julian being involved didn’t make sense at first. Julian didn’t need this side business, he was already successful without it. So why get involved in this when it could ruin him? We think it was a bid to keep his father in line and out of trouble. Julian runs the family company, but his grandfather was old fashioned, so Carter was given a position in the company. Carter is really just a photo on the wall, while Julian makes all the decisions. The grandfather instilled in Julian to stay clean, and gave him one other responsibility, which seems to include controlling his father’s public image as well.” Daphne tells him.

“How did they hide him this long?” Michael asks.

“By using what worked in the past, paying off the problems.” George tells him.

“None of them refused, which is hard for me to understand. If someone did that to our children I’d have buried them.” Mel tells them.

“Yes, but you need to understand the time period. The people were up against a family with an impeccable reputation, and the likelihood of anyone being willing to help them against that family was slim. The fallout from taking on Carter Sr would have ruined them.” Ted tells her.

“So he got away with everything, and the families moved on?” Hunter asks.

“What else could they have done? No one would have listened or believed it. It’s why Julian keeps his life private. He saw what the family had to do to hide the monster in the family.” Justin tells them.

After going through the information Daphne got from Julian’s laptop no one was surprised nothing pointed to Julian as the scum of the earth he was. I watched as Ted was absorbed in the papers he was going through line by line. I sat with Ted and started on the pile he still had left to do.

“It’s a lesson in creative accounting.” Ted mutters.

“What are we looking for?” I ask.

“Anything where the dates and the balances aren’t consistent with the intake of the actual company.” Ted tells me.

“I was hoping he had both sets of books in his laptop, but he was smart enough to only have the sanitized copy on his laptop.” Daphne tells us.

“I need to go look through the boxes we put in your storage area.” Justin tells me.

“Why?” I ask.

“The reason I saw Gary at Julian’s office that day was because the accounting system was compromised. I backed up all the files before I did anything else. I never needed them, since I didn’t have to erase the files. I threw all the discs in one of the boxes.” Justin tells me.

“You kept it?” Ted asks.

“I planned to give it back, but wanted to be able to fix it from home if the problem happened again. It didn’t, and I never destroyed the discs.” Justin tells us, walking out of the room.

I got up and followed him.  Ben was coming in the door but turned to go with us, smiling at Michael before running after us.

“We’ll be right back.” Justin tells Ben.

“I think it’s better to have both Brian and I with you. Ames is being a pain in the ass, and I don’t like that the FBI tried to drive you out of town.” Ben tells him.

JUSTIN

“So they were FBI?” Brian asks him.

“Carl got confirmation that they were who they said they were. They’re still trying to find a way to explain taking him to Virginia.” Ben tells us.

“Probably hoped if they showed Justin their toys, he’d want to stay.” Brian says, rolling his eyes.

“Kidnapping me wasn’t the way to go. Plus, if they had left it alone, Gary would have likely asked me to show him what I did for Julian.” I tell them.

“Right now Sapp is more worried about the searches going on at his club. Stockwell ordered all his properties searched, they found heroin and unregistered guns in his car when he got in the accident.” Ben tells us.

We got to the loft and Brian grabbed my hand, showing me he was still shaken about letting me go without him. Brian opened up his storage area, and came over to help me look for where I put the discs. Ben pulled out the teddy bear when I handed him a box to look through. 

“We should give that to Gus, it’s not like I really need to keep it.” I tell Brian.

“Only if you really want to give it to him. If it’s important to you than keep it.” He tells me.

“It was left with me when I was abandoned at the hospital. I’d rather create a new memory by giving it to Gus.” I tell him.

Brian found the discs and help put everything back where it was. He pocketed the teddy bear before we got out of the storage area. We were heading back outside when Julian got out of a car, staring at me and Ben.

“I need to talk to you.” Julian tells me, glaring at Ben and Brian. “Alone.” He commands when Brian and Ben step forward and won’t let him near me.

“I don’t work for you anymore, and I don’t appreciate you having Ames try to force me to see you.” I tell him.

“I fired Ames this morning when I found out he was taking outside assignments. So I have no idea why you think I sent Ames to get you.” Julian tells me.

“We have nothing to talk about. I quit.” I tell him.

“I want an explanation. Until recently, you never complained about the job I’ve bent over backwards to give you, including meeting all the conditions you wanted. What changed other than…” He says, looking at Brian and shaking his head. “You’re throwing away your career, for what?” Julian asks.

Brian and Ben weren’t happy when I walked over to Julian, but I also knew Julian wouldn’t stop until he really heard me.

“I’ll take back my resignation if you tell me the truth. Why did you hire me?” I ask.

“You’re the best at what you do.” He tells me.

“I know I am, and you liked that I didn’t have any need to know why you wanted me to do what I did for you. You want an explanation for me quitting, here it is- I can no longer give you sheep to slaughter without questioning if their crime was worse than what your plans for them are. You hired me because I could give you power over other people. I decided to cut out the middle man.” I tell him, walking back to Brian.

“I’m a bad enemy Justin.” Julian warned.

“So am I.” I tell him, glaring at him.

Julian wasn’t looking at me but at Brian as he got his keys out of his pocket. Until that point Julian didn’t look worried, but seeing Brian somehow worried him. I looked at Brian who wasn’t even paying any attention to Julian as he stuffed my teddy bear in the car before getting in.

“Where to now?” Brian asks me as he gets in the car.

“I need Ben to call my kidnappers and tell them I want the location of the house.” I tell Ben.

“What makes you think they know?” Brian asks me.

“Because that’s where Sapperstein planned to take me, and Mark didn’t seem to need directions. Carl needs to keep Stockwell and Saperstein busy elsewhere, Ben.” I tell them.

“There has to be someone watching that house.” Ben tells me.

“Then tell all the people that have me on their wish list that I’ll only listen if they make my arrival easy.” I tell Ben.

“Our arrival.” Brian tells me.

“Call Daphne and Blake so they can meet us.” I tell Brian, knowing he wouldn’t let me go alone.

Ben had us drop him off at the FBI headquarters, which gave me time to make sure Brian would be okay, because I had a feeling we might be finding more than just the information at that house.

Brian looked at me as if he could read my mind. “Just tell me what’s worrying you.” 

“If he has any of the kids there, it’s likely they’re going to be traumatized by what happened to them.” I tell him.

“I know that, but why would you think that would be a problem for me?” He asks.

“I don’t know that it will. It’s just they’ve had things done to them against their will and I know you’ve dealt with that kind of thing.” I tell him.

“I also had people who helped me deal with the problems that come from that, and I will help anyone we find the way they helped me. It doesn’t define me anymore. You, Gus, and my family do, by being there.” Brian tells me.

BRIAN

It took a lot to get the others to agree to give Ben the location of the house. The problem was they still had guys undercover in the house and not all of them as guards or buyers. They didn’t want to agree to Justin bringing Blake, but he surprised them by becoming a pitbull about it. I knew why, it was because they still expected the Justin they detailed in reports. They didn’t really expect him to have an opinion, but to hide when faced with the big scary feds. Justin and I sat there as they made excuse after excuse about not wanting to blow their operation just because Justin managed to piece it together and somehow found out what Sapperstein had been doing. Every they said was as if Sapperstein was the only one involved. Then they condescendingly asked Justin for proof of Julian or his father’s involvement. 

“Right now I’m still trying to find how Julian is involved…” Justin tells him.

“In other words you’re just guessing without facts.” Agent Hill interrupts. “We can’t accuse someone without solid proof, which unlike you we are trying to get. I’ve been told how you feel about us not doing anything, but you need to understand we have yet to get PROOF.”

“Hill…” Agent Caraway said, in hopes to calm Hill down.

“No. He doesn’t get to sit here and treat us like we’re wrong, when if he’s right, than he sat around letting his boss get away with the same shit, while he helped the fucker.” Hill tells him.

Justin looked at me after that tyrade. The whole time we’d been sitting here they avoid saying Julian could even be connected. They were walking around the idea, but apparently they believed he was. Which explained why the guy was being an asshole, he thought Justin was involved too. 

“I wouldn’t have helped ANYONE do something like this.” Justin tells him.

“Yet every time we closed in on him, somehow the fucker managed to keep us from touching him.” Hill said sarcastically.  

“Hill…” Agent Caraway warned.

“Explain that.” Justin demanded.

“Actually we were hoping you could explain it.” Agent Caraway replied.

“Since it seems to all point to you helping him hide any involvement.” Hill tells him.

“Justin’s job was to catch hackers. Where in that do you get Justin’s involvement?” Ben asked.

“That’s why they were trying to take me to Virginia. They think I helped.” Justin tells me.

“We aren’t talking about his legit job.” Hill tells Ben.

“Than what are you talking about, if not Julian?” Justin asked.

“Look, things will go easier on you if you don’t try to implicate Yates in your and Saperstein's side business.” Hill tells him.

“I never met the man until a couple of days ago.” Justin tells him.

“Are you going to stick to that?” Hill asked, turning on the monitors. “See, the problem we have is while your trying to implicate Julian Yates, everything we’ve seen has you somewhere in the middle of this.” He tells Justin.

They showed Justin at Babylon, they focused in on Gary standing in the background, as Justin stood at the catwalk. Then showed us video of Justin walking into Julian’s building, and Gary and Justin looking at each other, then Justin walking away. Ames talking to Sapperstein before following Justin, then handing him a file. Looking at it without bothering to look into anything, it made a case that Saperstein's connection was to Justin. And that’s when the pitbull came out.

“So, based on your stalking of me, you figured out that I went to Babylon to what? Connect with Gary Saperstein? That Ames, who tried to force me to go with him, was somehow our go between? And that because the fucker looked at me like a piece of meat and that it made me uncomfortable, that somehow I was involved in this? Let me explain what you’re seeing. I was at the club not because Saperstein owned it, but because I WANTED to watch Brian. While you were busy making up fairy tales about my involvement, what you were seeing was me wanting to find out what made BRIAN KINNEY someone I couldn’t ignore. While you were off making up theories about what I was doing, all you would have had to do was ask Ben, since everything I do gets handed to him when I’m finished. You spent a lot of time stalking me, but seem to miss what happened after I walked away, leaving Sapperstein waiting for Julian.” Justin tells him.

“Saperstein got up and left after you walked off.” Hill tells him.

“Show me, prove it.” Justin demanded.

“We can’t.” Caraway tells him.

“Why not?” Ben asks.

“Because after Justin got in the security room someone erased everything. The only thing we have is footage from outside the building. Do you want to know what that showed us, Justin?” Hill asks him.

“Sure. Since you seem to believe it meant something.” I tell him.

“Ames telling Saperstein he’d get Justin somewhere easier for them to talk.” Hill tells us.

“Ames has been very talkative about Justin, and it raised a lot of questions.” Caraway tell us.

“What was I doing that would be called in question?” Justin asked.

“The walks all over Pittsburgh. It seems while no one really seems to understand what you were doing, you passed by the street kids you now want to protect almost nightly. Then a couple nights later Saperstein invites them to a party and they seem to vanish. It’s a bit of a coincidence isn’t it, you walk by and then the kids go missing?” Hill asks smugly.

“Then let's rewind that statement, Justin walks by alone, or with Ames?” Ben asked, making me want to laugh at the smug look coming off Hill’s face.

“How many reports do you have about me?” Justin asked.

“Enough.” Hill mutters.

“In any of them, do you have my financials?” Justin asked.

“We have what we could find, but we also know what your capable of.” Caraway tells him.

“Do you? How about you call your major crimes division and asked them to come up here.” Justin tells him.

“Why would we?” Hill asks.

“Just tell the man in charge that you have the White Rabbit wanting to talk to him.” Justin tells him.

“Justin?” Ben asks.

“Really, what’s with you and the bunnies?” I ask.

“I watched a lot of Alice in Wonderland in the foster homes.” Justin tells me.

Hill scowled while making a call then spent the next few minutes assuring the guy on the other end that Justin would stay where he was. Justin meanwhile rolled his eyes when Hill looked at him like he didn’t believe what he was hearing.

“We need to see the director.” Hill tells Caraway.

“Why?” Caraway asks.

“To explain how the White Rabbit managed to get in the building without anyone knowing.” Hill tell him.

JUSTIN

Brian waited with me without asking any questions. I sort of felt bad for Hill and Caraway, looking at what they thought was evidence. Yeah, I could see why they thought I was involved. 

“Something happened to the footage from after I walked into the security office.” I tell Hill.

“The guy said you were left alone in the security room, and that you got up and talked to Saperstein before he walked out.” Caraway tells me.

“Actually I started backing up the program I was there to fix, then watched as Julian and Saperstein got in an elevator together. They were talking and Julian seemed pissed about it.” Justin tells him.

“We don’t have anything to verify it happened.” Caraway tells him.

“Nothing Julian would give you. Let me guess, Julian reluctantly handed you the footage.” Ben asked.

“While he assured us over and over that Justin might not even know what Saperstein was doing. He even went so far as to say he’d make sure we couldn’t touch Justin.” Caraway tells us, rubbing his face when he realized they’d been played.

“Before they kick us off this case for fucking up; why do you believe Julian Yates would be involved?” Hill asked.

“It looks like Julian was once again trying to protect Carter Yates Jr. If we’re right, Carter and Saperstein thought up the business, but neither could pull it off. Saperstein, because he doesn’t have the brain power, and Carter, because he’d likely ruin the merchandise. Julian doesn’t have that problem, his tastes are more in the normal range. He prefers willing participants, but if this were to get out it could tarnish the Yates name. The problem we run into is that Julian is smart and will likely make sure everything points away from him and towards Saperstein.” Ben tells them.

“He was especially concerned about Justin.” Hill tells them.

“Recently his interest in Justin has changed.” Ben tells them.

“I escaped my glass box. He never bothered with me because until I met Brian he didn’t think I’d do anything but what he wanted.” I tell them.

When the head of the crimes division showed up, Hill and Caraway were told they were going to be reassigned for not investigating me further. The thing I saw while Hill was treating me like I was a suspect was that the man hated what his job was requiring them to overlook.

“If you pull them, then I stop.” I tell Special Agent Richards.

“You’re blackmailing me?” Richards asks.

“Am I? I just thought I was telling you that I wouldn’t keep making your job easier by sending you everything you couldn’t find on your own.” I tell him.

“They thought you were a suspect, how does that make you believe they should still be involved?” Ben asks.

“Because they both hate that they had to sit back while someone above them told them not to stop what was happening. You sat back for weeks and let people lose everything even when I handing you the information on a silver platter about the asshole embezzling his clients funds. In fact, you didn’t bother to do anything until I threatened to release the information that you had along with the email I sent you, time dated. Until it affected you personally you didn’t care, Hill does, but his hands are being tied by someone like you.” I tell him. 

“What do you want Hill and Caraway to do?” Richards asks.

“I want to know where the house is, and get access to the computers. I also want a couple of friends there in case I need help.” I tell them.

“We don’t have a problem with Miss Chandlers being there, but I’m not sure why you want a drug abuse counselor there.” Caraway says.

“The Mad Hatter was taught by me.” I tell them, smiling at Richards.

“We are going to have to talk to you and the Hatter.” Richards tells me. “I’ll clear it. Give the Rabbit what he wants.” He tells Hill and Caraway, leaving the room.

“Who owns the house?” Brian asks.

Hill blows out a breath before looking at me. “It’s listed under a corporation overseas, everytime we think we have something it’s sold to another one.” 

“I might have someone who could trace it back to the source.” Brian tells them.

“Hunter could help him.” I tell him.

“Hunter?” Hill asks, looking through the information in my file.

“Yeah, just don’t judge him on his mouth or age, the kid impressed me. I might have caught him, but he let me.” I tell them.

It took a few days for Hill to arrange for the house to be busted, and we were brought in without anyone seeing my crew. It wasn’t what I expected at first. The house was just as big as George’s house, and the grounds were beautiful until you knew what it was covering. They had three kids there, all drugged, barely dressed. Every room was designed to look like a showroom. Brian whispered to me that it was where the buyers could view and test out what they were bidding on. They left Daphne and me in the office to see what we could get off of the computers. I’d left the discs with Hunter so he could help Ted when he was disappointed about not helping me. Carl was busy distracting Stockwell and keeping Saperstein from being able to do anything but hire a lawyer.

Daphne got a call and left me alone while I waited for the program to break the password. I got up to look around, wondering how everything could look so normal yet hide something so horrible. Brian came in, looking as tired as I felt. He was dealing with business, me, and anything else everyone needed. Brian sat on the sofa, no longer wanting to see anything else.

“It doesn’t seem like a house of horror.” I tell him.

“From the outside you can hide anything.” He tells me.

“Have they gotten anything out of the three guys they found?” I ask, sitting next to him.

“Blake doesn’t think we will until they flush the drugs out of their systems. They’re so high they don’t even know where they are and can’t even tell anyone what happened five minutes ago.” Brian tells me.

“Do they think they were here to be sold?” I ask.

“I think they’re just here for amusement. They’re older than the kids we are trying to find.” Brian tells me.

“I keep thinking about those kids.” I tell Brian.

“We’ll find them.” He tells me.

“Hopefully their as strong as you are.” I whispered to him.

“If they aren’t then we do what we can to help them.” He tells me.

I looked up when the door opened and Daphne walked in looking pissed. Which made sense when Carter Yates came in behind her, holding a gun to her.

BRIAN

I couldn’t believe when Justin moved in front of me, as if to shield me from the gun Carter was holding. Looking at Daphne, what I saw was that she was pissed, not scared. I seconded that feeling. How, in a house full of agents did the man managed to get in here with a gun? Carter barely looked at Justin, instead he was looking at me. If not for the pictures I wouldn’t have known this was Carter. It was strange how little he looked like Julian. He looked around the room while closing and then engaging a lock that surrounded the door. He motioned for Daphne and Justin to go to the computer. He then sat on a chair besides the sofa I was sitting on. I pushed Justin to go where Carter wanted him to, wanting him away from the man. 

“If I stop the decryption, it will alert the guys waiting for the information.” Daphne tells him.

“I don’t want it stopped. I want the information.” Carter tells her.

“What… for?” Justin stutters.

“To protect some very important people. I promised anonymity for the prices they paid, and they tend to react badly to broken promises.” He tells him, while sliding his gaze up and down Justin.

“You did hear the part where once we get in, guys with bigger guns will show up.” Daphne says, as if talking to a child.

“Yes. But then they have to get thru the door, which will give me time to get what I need and be gone before they can catch me.” Carter says, giggling like it's all a game to him.

“How would that protect the perverts, we'll still have their names?” Justin asked.

“You know, when Gary sent me a picture of Justin, I was excited. All that innocence completely untapped; but you took care of that didn’t you? Was he all I imagined when you took him the first time?” Carter asked me, ignoring Justin.

Justin went over to the computer and started typing, which had Carter getting up to see what he was doing. I knew Justin needed time, and Carter needed to be distracted.

“I doubt you could imagine what he’s like. In fact, for you it would have been disappointing, because he didn’t fear anything we did over and over again the first night. He showed me things that even with all my experience left me feeling like a virgin.” I tell him, leaning back.

Carter licked his lips as he looked me up and down. “You were one I almost broke all my rules for. Every night I watched you when you first started showing up at Gary’s club. You walked in like you owned the place the first night, and proved it over and over. Watching you in the backroom was a privilege. One that I’ve missed, since you haven’t been there lately. Maybe his innocence shouldn’t matter to me, since it has you changing everything about yourself.” He tells me, looking at Justin again.

“If you even think of touching him, it will be the last thought you have.” I tell him seriously.

“I couldn’t if I wanted to, Julie put him off limits. Although the rules are changing, with what he did to Gary. Julie thinks he’s untouchable. Like I give a shit what happens to my father’s little bastard.” Carter tells us.

“What, the wife wasn’t willing to play victim enough for you to get it up?” I taunt, as Daphne reached in her computer bag.

“Please, Daddy needed someone to hide his discretions. Since he knew I’d never want anything to do with a wife, it made it easier for him to make sure Julie wasn’t the bastard he should have been. Julie became everything my father wanted and it left me my freedom. Only he made it so Julie became my handler, and the little bastard got everything that should have been mine.” Carter tells us, looking at his watch. “How much longer?” He asks Justin.

“It won’t protect the names on this list you want.” Justin tells him, ignoring the question.

“Justin, Justin, Justin. Of course it will. Because of you, I’ll be the only one who has the names.” Carter says, smiling at whatever secret he thinks he has.

“How’s that?” I ask.

“Julian might own the majority share but it doesn’t mean I don’t have access to the programs Justin created to thwart people who stole files. Little Julie thought he could show off how smart he was, instead he was showing me we really did need Justin. At least in this, now I have the power and Julie will see why he shouldn’t have tried to control everything.” Carter tells me.

“You have the program that wipes out a database?” Justin asked, not looking concerned.  

“I have all your greatest hits. Julie really thinks I’m the idiot our father told him I was. Maybe I’ll take you from him too. There are a few men who would love to own what Brian Kinney and Julie want. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to deal with my brother or Brian, but don’t think I’ll forget about you.” He tells Justin.

Carter moved them away a from the computer as the screen changed and gave them access to the information. Daphne and Justin moved away, but I saw the gun in Daphne’s hand. Justin shook his head at her, since Carter’s gun was pointed at me. We watched as Carter started downloading the information to a disk, not caring when the knocking started at the door. He didn’t even flinch when it sounded like they were ramming the door. He calmly inserted the thumb drive that would erase the program, watched it until he was satisfied, and calmly walked to the bookshelf, opening it. Only stopping once he was inside of it, leaving Daphne without a way to shot the asshole.

“I’ll see you eventually.” He tells Justin, before closing the bookcase, as the door finally gave way and Hill and Caraway came through the opening. 

Daphne ran to the bookcase trying to find how to open it. Justin walked over to the computer, and started typing. Hill and Caraway went to help Daphne, but it was hours later before they managed to get the passageway opened, only to find it led to a small house outside the property, and Carter was long gone.

I sat with Justin as he worked on the computer. When everyone was back in the room, Justin had managed to retrieve the information Carter tried to get rid of. Hill looked at the names and waited as Daphne started pulling up the information on each of them.

“Jesus Christ, do you realize the who some of these people are?” Hill asked.

“They’re sleaze bags, I don’t care about anything else.” Caraway tells him.

“This is going to be nightmare.” Ben said, looking upset.

“Did you expect it to be easy?” Justin asked.

“No, but some of the people on this list we don’t have anyway of touching.” Hill tells Justin.

“Unless they come here, right?” I ask.

“Which I doubt they will when they find out they aren’t hidden any longer.” Hill tells me.

“Then let them believe they are. Carter doesn’t know I could recover this, because Julian didn’t know I built a program to counteract the one Carter just used.” Justin tells him.

“Why did you?” Daphne asked.

“Because when I sent information on the assholes to the FBI, I gave them the program so they could restore the information and link it straight back to the person. Although we have a small problem.” Justin tells Hill.

“Which is what?” Hill asks.

“Finding out who owns this house, because Carter doesn’t.” Justin tells him.

“You think this because…?” Hill asked.

“He needed us to get the password, so it means there’s someone else involved.” Justin tells him.

“Julian?” Daphne asks.

“I doubt it, because this would put paid on him being involved.” Ben tells us.

“Gary doesn’t either.” Caraway tells us.

“Why do you think that?” I ask.

“Because the guys we had inside said Gary never came to this room. It was off limits to everyone, including him. If he owned it, I doubt he would have made it off limits to himself.” Caraway tells us.

“Like Ben said, Julian wouldn’t have wanted this to touch him either.” Justin mentions.”But...”

“What?” I ask when Justin didn’t continue.

“Why would others cover for Julian when in the end they were only committing corporate espionage? The crimes are white collar, which means nothing to most of them. The small time hackers, like Hunter, he barely bothered with.” Justin tells me.

“But people he could use to fund something like this, he knew they’d take jail over this being discovered.” Hill finished for him.

“Even if all they did was finance the house and create the corporations to sell through, in the end they’d be the ones facing the charges, because no one would believe them over Julian, who looks as clean as his father.” Caraway tells us.

“Give them a deal, one that will get them to talk.” I tell them.

“You think they’ll just flip? Not with the threat of the Yates family over their heads.” Hill tells me.

“They’ll flip once they realize how much they haven’t lost yet. It’s all about how you spin it.” I tell him.

“We don’t have Yates yet.” Hill reminded me.

“You said you don’t believe in coincidences, and there is one person who hasn’t had to risk anything yet for Julian. Gardner Vance. Lie to him and tell him he’s on the list of owners of the house. He’ll likely flip to save himself. He let his son hang out to dry, so I doubt he’ll feel any more protective of his blackmailer.” Justin tells him.

“If he doesn’t have anything to do with this?” Hill asks.

“Society marriages have dealt with unwanted kids before and survived them. I’ve seen it with the people in my parents circle- they just ignore it. Something like this, trust me, they can’t survive.” Daphne tells him.

Hill and Caraway went to talk to their supervisor, Justin left Daphne to help the other guys get everything from the computer. It still bothered me that Carter managed to get past everyone, until they found a rooms hidden all over the house, with exits to get away. We found Blake helping to get the guys in cars that would take them to the hospital. 

“You know what’s interesting about this house?” I asked Justin.

“What?” 

“There’s not one camera, anywhere. They didn’t want anything recorded.” I tell him.

“Of course not, then the buyers couldn’t dispute they’d been here. The kind of shit that’s going on here wouldn’t be something you would trust anyone knowing about you.” Ben tells us.

“I doubt Julian would go along with that. He likes his blackmail too much.” Justin tells me.

“It still leaves the question of whose office that is.” Ben tells him.

“It’s Julian’s. Not that I have any proof.” Justin tells him.

“Why didn’t you say anything to Hill or Caraway?” Ben asks him.

“Because they like PROOF.” Justin tells him.

“What makes you think it was Julian’s?” I ask.

“Because the computer is set up with every program I’ve ever written to protect it. Which only Julian and Carter could get. Since Carter couldn’t get in, that leaves Julian. I didn’t want to have to defend myself again until we can prove it’s Julian’s.” Justin tells us.

“Which right now you can’t?” I asked.

“No. Because he wouldn’t be stupid enough to make it that easy.” Justin shrugs.

“How do you prove it?” Ben asked.

Justin leaned on me, not saying anything, and started through the maze his mind goes in. Ben stood waiting with us as Justin seemed lost in thought. I could feel the exhaustion he was feeling, and knew he wouldn’t rest until he figured out how to link the computer to Julian.

“All that the computer contained was purchases, time stamped and dated. It also contained the names of the kids that were sold, but not who bought them. The other list tells people who did transactions, but not who they bought.” Daphne tell us.

“Justin believes that Julian was the man in the off limits room.” Ben tells her.

“He likes control.” Justin tells her.

“He does, but he also makes others do what he wants. He wouldn’t trust just anyone to put the information in.” Daphne tells us.

“Unless he made sure the person was too scared to say anything. Who changed the information Daphne got from Julian’s laptop?” I ask.

“Someone in accounting.” Justin guessed.

“And made sure the guy would be afraid to blackmail him.” Ben tells me.

“Can you figure out who changed the numbers?” I ask Daphne and Justin.

“Yeah. Since he had to use his own account to do it.” Justin tells us.

“Tell Hill we’ll call him when Justin has a name.” I tell Ben.

BRIAN 

Emmett had his hands full trying to keep everyone from trying to get involved. George was foaming at the mouth and called Ron over to discuss how to flush Carter out of hiding. Hunter was arguing that he should be allowed to witness his sperm donors downfall. Ted was reeling when the head of cyber crimes started interrogating Blake about his part in what he and Justin had been doing for years. Ben and Daphne were arguing with Caraway and Hall about sharing information instead of having to drag it out. Justin solved it by telling Hill that he’d share with Ben and Daphne, and then Caraway and Hill would have to wait for the CIA to share with them.

Mel and Lindsay were worried about me and Ron being in the same room, since they didn’t have a clue how I’d react. What they didn’t get was that as long as Ron loved my son, I’d deal with it. Nancy, on the other hand was still a ‘NO’ with me. I didn’t want the Ice Bitch near my son, or Lindsay for that matter, and on that Mel completely agreed with me. She also made sure Richards understood she’d jump his ass if he tried to intimidate Justin or Blake for doing what was HIS job. Justin had gotten the name of the accountant by the time we were back at George’s house- Kip Thomas. Daphne and Ben looked at each other when Justin told them and us that there were video files of Kip Thomas on the computer. Neither of us asked when they both could barely contain the revelation at what they saw. 

Richards really thought Justin was being silent to protect Blake. Which didn’t make any sense since Richards had enough to know exactly what Justin and Blake had done in the past. Mikey sat there scratching his head, then threatened to call Deb if the guy didn’t stop badgering Justin. At that point I got Justin up and out of the room. He needed quiet to think, and none of them were letting him have it.

Justin was concentrating on the puzzle and getting irritated at being asked questions he deemed unimportant. Richards already knew what he and Blake had been doing, and Justin didn’t see the point when the situation we were working on should have been the only one. I didn’t stop until we were in my car driving away from everyone. Ben had already cleared it so Justin could listen to the interview with Gardner, and I wanted to see the man fall from grace. Justin and I got there and he was slightly amused that they insisted on someone escorting him through the building.

“I never needed to be in the building.” He mentions, just to be a smart ass.

“I was told to make sure you were able to see what you could work with if you signed with us.” Agent Willis told him, as she swayed her hips in front of him, smirking.

“That would only work if Brian did that, not you.” Justin tells her, stopping to look at a program running on a computer. “I should have patented that one.” He tells her, typing on the keyboard.

I managed to get him away from all the computer geeks, who looked like they were watching a rock star perform. We were escorted into the room with Gardner, who looked at me then to Justin. Me, he seemed confused about, but Justin bothered him.

“What are you doing here?” He asks me, as his lawyer tries to keep him quiet.

“Trying to figure you out. You threw your kid to the wolves to protect yourself, which wouldn’t have done as much damage to your life as what you let the wolf do to you.” I tell him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Gardner sneers, then whispers to his lawyer that they needed to find out why Justin was there.

Hill and Caraway showed up along with Ben, carrying a couple of boxes with files in them. Hill ignored Gardner’s questions long enough to tell Justin he was cleared to help with the information the CIA was downloading to them. Hill introduces everyone, and Gardner’s lawyer, Jake Haines, gets impatient.

“Gentleman, my client and I have waited here for over an hour, with no one telling us why we’re here. Mr Vance is a busy man and would like to know why he’s here. I also don’t feel comfortable that you’ve invited others into the room without us knowing why we are here.” Haines tells Hill, dismissing me and Justin.

“Mr Taylor is here because he has information connecting Mr Vance to some questionable activities. I wouldn’t want to waste any of Mr Vance’s valuable time, and I didn’t want to waste our time, which will likely happen because denial seems to be Mr Vance’s way of dealing with his life.” Caraway tells him, taking the lead and throwing both Gardner and Haines off guard, when they expect Hill to answer.

“Mr Vance, how about I tell you a story and see if any of this makes what your doing here more transparent.” Hill says, sitting down. “It starts with your son, Hunter Montgomery.” Hill holds up a hand when Vance tried to interrupt with a denial. “When I finish you can deny as much as you want, but only AFTER I’m finished. Now, as you know, Julian Yates called you to his office because your son, whose mother was paid off to keep silent about him, hacked into Julian’s system looking for information on Justin Taylor.” Hall says while Caraway pulls out the agreement Hunter’s mother signed. The lawyer swallowed since he was the lawyer on record for the paperwork. “Justin Taylor, in doing his job, gave Julian Yates the information on the breach, which in turn meant Mr Yates did a background check on Hunter’s life and found you. Going by what Hunter was able to tell us about the meeting, Yates had no interest in Hunter, but did in you. I’m going to add that I find it really distasteful that you threw your child under the bus to save yourself, then allowed Yates to use you anyway to hide something that, unknown to you, your wife already knew about. What she doesn’t know yet and will if you don’t help us, is how far you went to keep your secret. Which brings us to the question we wanted to ask you.” Hall says, looking at Caraway.

“Why would you help finance a house that was used to traffic kids to sick perverts? From everything we’ve read you don’t swing in that direction. Was it the money you wanted, or are you planning to pretend you don’t know what goes on in that house?” Caraway asks, as Vance blanches.

“What is he talking about?” Haines asks Gardner.

“Right now twenty to life if Gardner doesn’t start talking.” Hall tells him.

“Or you talk and we help you out.” Hill tells him.

“There’s no proof I own anything.” Gardner tells him.

“When we find it, trust us, you don’t want to be the one taking the fall for what goes on that house. When, not if, this gets out, anyone linked to that house won’t go to the country club of prisons but to the one where it’s likely you won’t finish your sentence because the other prisoners are strange when it comes to people they perceive as hurting children. In fact, they tend to want to make examples of anyone who could allow the shit we know was happening in that house. Right now you think you’re safe behind the high priced lawyer your wife provided, but how do you think it’s going to go when she finds out your name is part of human trafficking ring?” Caraway asks him.

“Show us the proof, otherwise we’re leaving.” Haines tells him.

“If that’s how you want it, go ahead and leave. We’ll contact you at home with what your lawyer wants.” Hill tells them, getting up to leave.

Gardner was sweating bullets looking at Justin. “You have everything don’t you? That fucker really thought you were oblivious to everything.” Gardner mumbles, waiting for Justin to say something.

“Why would you agree to…? A kid wouldn’t have ruined your life… Julian had something else didn’t he? Something you knew would have been worse.” Justin says to him.

“What did Julian have?” Ben asks.

“I want protection and immunity.” Gardner tells Hill.

“Or I could just dig deeper into your life and you can experience what your silence did to the kids sold in that house.” Justin tells him.

“I think we should just let Justin get us what we need. I really don’t want to help you.” Hill tells Gardner.

“Good luck, we’ll be in touch.” Caraway says, getting up.

“Wait, wait… you don’t understand… I couldn’t let anyone find out… Julian knew because the asshole told him.” Gardner says, not making sense.

“Stop talking. If they had anything they would have arrested you.” Haines tells him.

“They have HIM.” Gardner tells Haines, pointing at Justin. “He’s the one Julian’s going crazy about right now, because Justin has all the proof.” Gardner continues to say, not talking to anyone in particular. “My life will be over all because of one mistake… one. That’s all it was. The girl knew why she was there… then went crazy, saying we raped her when she knew why she was there… I didn’t do anything. He swore he was just going to calm her down. I never wanted what happened… I thought no one would know.” Gardner tells us, like we knew what he was talking about.

“How did they know?” Ben asked, sitting in front of Gardner.

“Rickert told Julian about it.” Gardner tells Ben.

“What happened to the girl?” Ben asks, when Gardner seems to trust him.

“Rickert told us he’d make sure she understood that no one would believe her, since she was paid to strip for us.” Gardner tells him, as Haines hangs his head when Gardner keeps talking.

Caraway walked out of the room, whispering that he was going to find out who Rickert was. Gardner talked even faster, worried they were going to leave him to the wolves, not give him a deal.

“I didn’t find out what Rickert did until they found her body. He agreed that for a price he would make sure it never linked back to Marty or me. We both thought it was over, then the fucking kid brought me to Julian’s attention and Rickert used what he knew about us for the perks Julian gave him.” Gardner tells Ben.

“You agreed to help finance the house with the others and Julian agreed to keep your secret?” Ben asks.

“I know you don’t believe me, but it was only an investment to me. I didn’t want to help him, but he knew and I couldn’t let my life be ruined over a whore looking for a bigger payday. Julian promised that if anything happened Gary Saperstein would go down.” Gardner tells him.

“What was the purpose of using Hunter? From everything we’ve heard it wouldn’t have been that big of a scandal for you.” Justin asked.

Gardner looked over at Justin as if the question was ridiculous. “Even if I wished he wasn’t born he was still my son. Julian didn’t just threaten to announce to the world he was my son. If I showed him that I cared about Hunter at all, then he would have ended up at that house. No matter how shitty of a father I am, I wouldn’t have let that happen to my son.” 

“Being a shitty human being was okay, as long as the kids weren’t one of yours.” Ben said sarcastically.

“Gardner, do yourself a favor and shut up right now.” Haines tells him.

“Or listen to us and help us end this.” Hill tells him, only to have Gardner listen to Haines. “Then sit here while we talk to the accountant who seems to want to talk to us. Unlike you he wants to help and hasn’t asked for a deal to keep himself at the mercy of everyone involved.” 

When nothing more came from Gardner, other agents were let in the room to arrest him for what he’d already admitted to. Caraway was waiting outside the room, looking as if his headache had just gotten worse.

“Kenneth Rickert was once the partner of James Stockwell. If what I’ve managed to put together is right, the incident Gardner described happened after he and Marty Ryder got out of college. Rickert managed to keep the police force out of it, but the call the girl made was still listed. Days later she was found in a dumpster with a broken neck. The case went cold, one guess as to why?” Caraway asks Hill.

“Because Rickert and Stockwell were the detectives on the case, and even back than Stockwell would have written off a prostitute as a waste of their time, which Rickert knew.” I tell them.

“The girl didn’t have a family, which meant no one would have been there breathing down their necks to find out what had happened to her.” Caraway tells us.

“I know what your thinking Justin, and I agree. It shouldn’t have mattered but it does. We’ll make sure she gets justice, just like we’ll do what it takes to get justice for the others.” Hill tells him.

“I know. It’s why I wouldn’t let them replace you.” Justin tells him, walking off towards the other guys on the computers.

Hill smiled as the other computer geeks tried to show off for Justin. “My boss wants him to work for us. I might not understand how he does the things he can do, but I’ve heard the guys in cyber crimes talked about the White Rabbit, but they didn’t get him.” He tells me.

“What didn’t they get?” I ask.

“He wasn’t showing off to anyone, he really only cared about who got hurt.” He tells me.

“It’s what happens when there’s no one who cares about you. It makes you want to save who you can.” I tell them. 

“Which is why you want to help him.” Ben tells me.

“It’s not the only reason. He made me want something I never saw as possible.” I tell him.

JUSTIN

Brian was waiting for me as the information was downloading on what the CIA had. One of the programmers whispered that until today it was rare they ever got a completed file. I was reading the information the FBI had on me, and correcting things they didn’t quite get right. Hell, they suspected me, so I figured I’d fill in the blanks. They were trusting me, and in turn I helped them by adding my accounts, to make it easier on them. Brian must have been watching me as the information on those accounts started coming in because he sat down, looking at the information.

“Why didn’t you just quit?” He asks, looking at the balance on one of my accounts.

“Julian still trusted me, and I wanted access the legal way.” I said, instead of giving him the whole truth.

“You didn’t need the job to have access.” He tells me.

“It’s… how I felt secure… Knowing it was there meant I’d be okay.” I tell him.

“When would it have been enough?” He asks.

I looked at the amounts, trying to see it through other people's eyes. But I wasn’t like those people. They had families. People who, if they needed them, would be there. When I started these accounts I knew that I had to take care of myself, because there wouldn’t be anyone there when I fell.

“In my head there’s never enough.” I tell him honestly.

Brian pulls me towards him, resting his head next to mine before whispering. “I did the same thing growing up, but I need you to listen to me. No matter where our lives take us, I’ll always make sure you’re okay.” 

“I’ll do the same for you.” I whisper to him.

“Sorry to interrupt, but did you want to listen in on Kip?” Ben asks.

BRIAN

What Justin had done shouldn’t have surprised me. He told me he’d been alone all his life. As alone as he could be with people wanting his mind, but that was all they wanted from him. He’d never had the one advantage I’d had... Deb. She made sure I knew I had somewhere to go if I ever needed it. It did strange things to me, the idea that he would take care of me. I’d never really had someone that was just mine, and knew he’d never get away from me.

Ben waited a few feet away to lead us to the observation room. Caraway wanted Justin out of sight from Kip Thomas. Apparently Kip was more than willing to spill his guts, and Caraway had seen how Gardner reacted to Justin. We were all puzzled at Gardner thinking Justin had something that would nail them all. Justin called Ted to see if there was anything in the financials. But like before, they were clean. It was why all of us hoped Kip would have some answers. I looked into the room. The guy was staring straight ahead, hugging himself, but looking relieved to be there. Caraway and Hill walked into the room, with Ben following behind them. Kip’s eyes landed on Ben, and he seemed to shrink at seeing Ben. Any relief was gone in that moment.

“I thought you wanted me to help.” Kip tells them, trying get up.

“We only need to ask you a few questions.” Caraway tells him.

“I don’t really know anything… Sorry to waste your time.” Kip says, trying to get to the door.

“He knows Ben from working with Julian.” Justin whispers to me.

“He’s trying to help us nail Julian and the others.” Hill tells Kip.

“Julian can’t touch you again.” Ben tells him.

“You don’t understand what he’ll do to me! What he’ll do to anyone, if he thinks we’ve turned on him!” Kip tells them.

“Kip we’ve seen what he did to you. We’re going to make sure you never have to deal with it again.” Ben tells him.

“No one can stop him… unless he gets what he wants.” Kip tells them.

“He won’t have a choice when he’s facing charges.” Hall tells Kip.

“All I did was change a few numbers on accounts, which in the end he’ll tell you he didn’t authorize. It’s why he hired me. Because he knew if anyone looked into me they’d see what I did in the past. I thought I could play him, but he proved me wrong.” Kip tells them.

“In the past?” Caraway asks.

“I’d been helping myself to money no one would have missed. I planned to put it back after investing it, but I miscalculated and my boss started an internal audit. Then some hacker gave the information to the police, along with all my information. I thought Julian showing up was an answer to my prayer. But instead, it was the start of my nightmares. You want to nail Julian? All you need is that fucker, Taylor. Apparently he has everything you need. At least that’s how Julian made it sound.” Kip tells him.

Justin moved away from me, and headed to the door. He was angry when he slammed his way into the interrogation room.

“There’s no record of you being arrested.” Hill says, looking through the paperwork, then at Justin when he slammed the door.

Justin read the information Hill was looking at, before speaking again. I could see for a second he felt guilty, but managed to let what all of us were telling him sink in. “I really never paid attention to who did the crime. It didn’t matter, because in the end, you did it. If I’m remembering this correctly, the money you were stealing was raised to help families of the policemen who died in the line of duty. People who needed it more than you.” Justin tells him.

“I hated you the minute Julian told me it was you that caused everything in my life to go to shit. Was it all a game to you? Turning people’s lives to shit, then laughing as we become slaves for Julian to use at his whim.” Kip tells him.

“I had nothing to do with Julian noticing you. For me, it was the fact that you took money raised to help people during the worst time in their life. What happened with Julian had nothing to do with me. That part of my life wasn’t something I thought Julian knew anything about.” Justin says, angry.

“From what Julian told me, it was how you found the people he used.” Kip tells him.

“How does you embezzling funds bring you to the conclusion that it’s Justin’s fault?” Hill asks.

“Until Taylor found it, Stockwell never noticed the money missing. It was sitting there collecting dust. No one would have figured it out if HE hadn’t practically handed the police everything they needed to arrest me. Do you know what happened? Instead of dealing with the police, Julian came along. He offered me everything, including a way out of what I did. It wasn’t until I tried to push back that I found out it all came with a price. One that he’ll likely teach YOU, now that you’ve betrayed him. Do you know how much I hated you, the golden boy in the ivory tower? No one was allowed near you, no one could say anything against you. Guess that’s over for you now.” Kip tells them.

“If you hate me, why are you here?” Justin asks.

“To get away from the shit he did to people like me. None of us could compete with the golden boy in Julian’s eyes. All of us had to watch as HE was treated like a prince, while the rest of us were left knowing we had swords hanging over our heads if we did anything Julian didn’t like. I wanted to see you fall. But nothing I say will matter, will it?” Kip tells him.

“What makes you think Justin is involved in any of this?” Caraway asks Kip.

“Where do you think all of Julian’s slaves came from? We were all the people Justin gave to Julian. Justin might act innocent, naive even, but it’s only to protect Julian and himself.” Kip tells him.

“I asked this of Justin once, and I’ll ask you the same. Where is your PROOF?” Hill asks.

“Anything I could give you was lost when Julian had me change everything. So I have nothing but my word that Justin was involved up to his eyeballs in everything. I tried to keep the originals as proof, and Julian punished me for daring to hurt his precious little Justin.” Kip tells them.

“The originals?” Justin asked.

“Yes. The ones that show money being funneled to him.” Kip tells Caraway, pointing to Justin..

“Since I have the originals, maybe you could come up with something else.” Justin tells him, smirking as Kip seems to realize he made a mistake.

“Are you really here to help with Julian?” Hill asks.

“I want that bastard to pay too. But not as much as I want HIM to pay for my life going to shit. And all because he stuck his nose into my life. Why should he have everything, when he ruined others lives the way he did?” Kip tells them, glaring at Justin.

“I’ll send you the information on Kip. And while I’m at it, how about I send you the original files Kip thinks implicate me.” Justin tells Hill.

“Those files are gone.” Kip corrects Justin.

“Actually they aren’t. I still have them.” Justin tells Kip.

“How did he ever think you were oblivious to everything?” Kip says to himself.

“That seems to be the question of the hour lately.” Ben tells him.

“What do you want to know?” Kip asks, no longer caring.

“Everything you can give us.” Hill tells him.

“From what I overheard, Justin could do that without me.” Kip tells them.

“What did you overhear?” Ben asks.

“Julian is dealing with the people who thought they were safe behind their agreement with Julian’s father. Julian sent Gardner to give each one of them a message; stay silent and keep the merchandise hidden any way they have to or they’d be hung out to dry on their own. Julian seemed to think he had everything under control, but something changed in the last day.” Kip tells them.

“Do you know what changed?” Hill asks.

“Julian couldn’t come up with some file that he was using to keep everyone quiet. And for the first time Julian told the thugs who work for him that Justin was no longer off limits.” Kip tells them.

“Why would he send them after Justin?” Caraway asks again.

“From what it sounds like, Justin has the information Julian needs. Julian used to carry a thumb drive on him everywhere he went. One that he wouldn’t let anyone even touch. I noticed it only because Julian would pull it out and download information on it before he told me to divert the funds to another account. The last time I changed the information he no longer seemed to have it. From what he did say, it sounded like Justin has it, because he told the guys that until they get it back no one could do more than rough Justin up for answers. Hence giving his hired men free rein on getting Justin to give it back.” Kip tells them, looking at Justin.

“You think I have it?” Justin asks.

“The better question is, why Justin is hiding it from you?” Kip asks Hill.

“Because he doesn’t know he has it.” Hill tells Kip.

“It can’t be at my house. If it was Julian could have gotten it from there, since I haven’t been there in the last couple of days.” Justin tells Ben.

“Julian has access to Justin’s house, so it’s doubtful it’s still there. But we’ve also had the house watched the whole time, so he wouldn’t want to risk being caught there.” Ben tells them.

“If you want to search the house, I’ll sign whatever you need. We looked through the boxes we took from there but you can try there too. The boxes are in Brian’s storage room.” Justin tells Hill.

“What about me?” Kip asks.

“You’ll stay here, and hope nothing implicates you.” Hill told him, walking out and leaving Kip alone.

BRIAN

Finding what we were looking for should have been easy considering Justin’s house had minimal furnishings and even less material things. Nothing in the house was out of place from the way we left it. Maybe Julian was waiting, but why would he if he could save himself from ruin? Even if they caught him at the house Julian could excuse it and no one could search him since all we had was Kip Thomas, who wasn’t credible given what we now knew about him. I’d been here before, but seeing it being emptied room by room, which didn’t take long, opened my eyes even more about Justin’s life. Hill didn’t seem surprised at how little Justin really owned.

“He spent most of his life only being allowed to keep what could be carried out with him. It’s a hard habit to break if it’s all you know. Until a few years ago, and due to enough outrage, most foster kids were only given a garbage bag to carry their things. It wasn’t enough that they knew they were disposable by the way they were shuffled around, the system rammed it home by shoving their possessions in a garbage bag.” He told me, shaking his head.

“Justin doesn’t complain about it.” I tell him.

“Even if he did, who would really listen? Reports about Justin as a child only stated he was antisocial, and that he was lucky in his placement because the families were decent. After his intelligence was revealed he became homed in the schools. They made sure he was provided for materially, but other than that Justin was left to take care of himself. ” Ben tells me.

“I didn’t talk to them because there was nothing to say.” Justin said from behind us. “I don’t think it’s here. Julian wouldn’t have made it hard to get it back. And Ben or I would have noticed if he tore out part of the floor or a wall, or moved anything, since there aren’t that many places to put anything.” He said, rolling his eyes when his shadows caught up to him.

Hill ordered Justin to have two guards with him around the clock until this was over. Justin didn’t argue, even when I could see he wanted to. He knew they weren’t going to risk Julian getting a hold of Justin after listening to Kip Thomas. And I knew they saw career makers in bringing Julian down. They also saw this as a way to Justin. I could see he was interested in what they did, and they could see the value in using him to make their jobs easier and faster. 

When we agreed to stay at George’s estate, Hill looked relieved. I started to wonder about Hill’s interest in Justin. After he figured out that Justin was part of all this he went from suspicious to almost treating him like a son who needed to be taken care of. 

As Justin’s house was torn apart from top to bottom, he watched it without any real emotion. They left people behind to search again, since the item was small. I doubted it was here because if it was Julian wouldn’t have risked going after Justin for something he could get to by sending someone else to get it from wherever he put it.

“Maybe Kip made it up.” Caraway tells us.

“He might have, but I’ve seen Julian with one when I was… with him. He seemed to always have one on him.” Ben tells them.

“You didn’t bother to try to find out what it was?” Hill asks.

“At the time I was told not to do anything that would jeopardize my cover, unless I got results. Like what your boys were doing when they didn’t bust the bullshit they were seeing.” Ben says defensively.

“There’s nothing here. I keep trying to think about where he would have hidden it, because if I ever ran across it, my curiosity would have made me check to see what was on it. Even if we caught him here, until recently he’d come and gone from here often and he could have said he just wanted to talk to me about walking away from my job. ” Justin tells them, ignoring the tension.

“Any place Julian would need you to be in order to retrieve it? Think of it from that angle.” Hill tells us.

“Not really. My life was this house and occasional visits to the office.” Justin tells them.

“What about clothes or shoes, or something that he could have hidden it in without you knowing.” Hill asks.

“I really don’t own that much.” Justin tells him, which seemed to sadden all of us.

“Plus, until recently Julian wouldn’t have needed a reason to hide anything. Which means it’s something he did recently and he likely put it somewhere you normally wouldn’t have looked for a thumb drive.” Hill tells him.

“Maybe the stuff I left in the back of my closet. I put it there when I moved in two years ago. Only, it’s just junk that I never threw away.” Justin tells them.

“Other than the stuff we took to George’s house. That’s still in my storage area.” I tell them.

We went to my loft, which no one had been watching, but now would since Hill and Caraway ordered it. Everything looked the way we’d left it. And the boxes were still piled the same way we left them the other day. It made me think Julian knew it wasn’t here. I’d been pretty sure we’d find the boxes missing if what we were looking for was in there. They searched every item. Most of it was just memorabilia from his life. Anything else was at George’s house. So I texted Cynthia and Ted to have them start looking while we were on our way there. Ben went through the clothing in Justin’s bag that was still in the middle of the floor after the shit Ames tried to do and we came up with nothing.

Hill left a few guys behind just in case, and told them we’d be at George’s house if they found anything. As we were walking to the cars, Justin stopped. 

“Remember when we were leaving and Julian was here?” He asked me.

“What about it?” I asked.

JUSTIN

Standing outside the loft, something was bothering me. Why did Julian come to the loft that day? It wasn’t like he didn’t  know I wasn't going to change my mind, and talking to me would just be a waste of his time. I tried to think back to the whole meeting, going through all the possibilities of why he followed us here. Why would he care if I worked for him when what he was looking for was more important to his survival? Nothing he said gave me much of a clue.

“What made him come here? At that point, all his focus should have been on finding it, not me.” I tell Brian.

“When did you guys start watching Justin’s house?” Brian asked.

“It’s always been under surveillance, but never like it is now.” Hill tells us.

“I still managed to get out when they were watching. I just left a different way. Apparently no one bothered to watch the back, and got lax since I tended to stick to a pattern when I did anything.” I tell them.

“For years, Justin’s pattern was consistent, and we weren’t sure what his part in all this was, just believed he was involved in some way. But no one thought Julian was, so no one would have done more than record that Julian had been at the house. I can check, but the only time that I remember Julian’s name being in the notes was right after Justin and Brian stayed on the roof of Brian’s loft all night. Julian went in the house before Justin came home, then waited until Justin walked up the steps of the house. According to the agent, he reported it only because Julian was confrontational will Ben.” Hill tells us, looking at Ben.

“How long have you known what I was doing with Julian?” Ben asked.

“We didn’t. The only thing we were told was not to go near you.” Caraway tells him.

I ignored them. I was trying to figure out what it was that bothered me about Julian being here that day. For the most part he was focused on me, but for a second he was focused on Brian. I figured it was some warped form of jealousy, but there was something else.

“Do you remember when he looked at you?” I asked Brian.

“Not really. I just wanted to get you away from him.” He tells me.

“Maybe I’m wrong but he looked worried when you were getting in the car.” I tell him, still not sure where I was going with this.

“He did look worried. But I thought it was because you weren’t backing down. He believes Brian is the reason.” Ben tells me.

“With everything else going on why would that be something other than annoying to him?” Brian asks.

“That’s just it, even if he was… jealous of us, that wouldn’t worry him, just piss him off. You got in the car, that’s it.” I tell him, feeling like I’m still missing something.

LINDSAY

Gus was gnawing away at the small teddy bear Brian handed to me. When he went to sleep I took it with me, planning to sew it up. My father kissed Gus’s cheek, about to leave and do whatever he and George had been talking about.

“Where did you get that?” Dad asks me.

“It belonged to Justin.” I tell him.

“He collects high end Teddy Bears?” Dad asks.

“No. It was left with him by the person who left him at birth. Justin’s had it all his life. Brian gave it to me for Gus when Justin said he wanted him to have it. Why did you call it high end?” I ask.

“These bears are made specifically for each customer. When Gus was born, I wanted to get him one, and still plan to, but the maker is backlogged with orders. Each bear is one of kind. I need to get going, but I’ll be back. Call me if you need anything.” He tells me.

”Why do you think this is one of them?” I ask. 

“Because I saw one like it as an example I could use to base Gus’s bear on.” He tells me.

I gave my dad a hug, thankful to have him in my life. Here I was complaining in my head about being protected and cared for while Justin gave my son the one thing that must have meant something to him.  When I tried to argue that Justin should keep it, Brian told me about it. It made me want to cry, suddenly feeling like my problems were insignificant when compared to Justin's. Emmett being Emmett came over to me putting his arm around me.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“During all of this, Mel and I supported Brian and did what he asked, but there was part of me that hated that our lives were being affected by all of this.” I tell him.

“Justin didn’t want any of you to be affected by what was happening. Understand that.” Emmett tells me, making me smile at how protective they all seem to be about Justin.

“I would have chased Justin down if he tried to deal with this alone. I don’t blame Justin for anything. It’s just I realized how petty my thoughts could be. Mel and I moved here, are waited on hand and foot, and yet all I saw was us being inconvenienced. Brian offers me a job and we solved my father’s involvement with Gus in Brian’s eyes. All this, as horrible as it is, solved problems we weren’t sure we could solve. And still I felt inconvenienced by it. Then Justin gives this to Gus.” I tell him, showing the bear to him. “This was the only thing of Justin’s that linked him to someone.” I tell him.

“If it could talk, maybe.” He tells me.

“If only it could. But he gave it to Gus. Justin didn’t go out and buy this. It was his. The one thing left with him at birth. Do you know how special he must view Gus to let it go?” I ask him.

“Very. But we all see how special Gus is.” Emmett tells me, looking at the tear in the ear. “I could sew this up better.” Emmett tells me.

“I planned to do that. Only I got distracted thinking of what Justin’s life must have been like.” I tell him.

“I think he views it like all of us do. It’s just life. What’s happening now Justin could have walked away from, instead he chose to fight for the ones who can’t fight for themselves. Something we all believe in. And when you think about it, it’s about more than just talking, it’s helping in any way we’re needed.” Emmett tells me.

“I’m not really doing anything. Mel’s helping Ted, George, and Hunter. Michael let himself get caught so Justin wouldn’t disappear. You’re keeping everyone calm.” I tell him.

“You don’t see yourself as doing anything? Honey, Brian needs to know Gus is safe and loved, so he can help Justin. You’re doing that for him. You’re also helping him with his new venture, when he can’t be there.” Emmett tells me.

“Cynthia could take care of what Brian needs done without me.” I tell him.

“She could. But Brian asked you.” He tells me, handing back the Teddy Bear. “What did you mean ‘if only it could talk’?” He asks, stopping.

“My dad said the bear was made for the owners. It’s not the kind that are massed produced. If this is really one of a kind then it could link Justin to the person who left it with him.” I tell him, thinking about it.

“Just do Justin one favor, if what your thinking ends up being more than a thought,” Emmett tells me.

“What?” I ask.

“Let him decide if he wants the answers.” He tells me, leaving the room.

I texted my Dad to get the information on the person who makes the bears. I wasn’t sure why I went ahead with this but I’d do what Emmett asked and let Justin decide what he would do if anything came of this. I looked again at the rip, feeling to see if I needed more stuffing for the ear before sewing it shut. I felt something hard in the middle of it. Then sat there wondering why there was a thumb drive in the ear. I put it my pocket then set to sewing it shut. Mel came in distracting me, and I needed it so I let her lead me to the bedroom, forgetting about anything but Mel.

EMMETT

After checking to make sure everyone was calm and not planning assassination attempts I planned to slipped out to help my Georgie. Because hearing about this monstrous family told me there was something we were missing. I honestly didn’t expect his son to agree to meet me, but maybe he was curious about the ‘gold digger’ the family likely referred to me as. George and I knew why we were together and I never really cared what they thought. George admitted he was absent throughout most of this children’s life, but he still loved them. He just couldn’t deal with Virginia's demands that he live the way she wanted him to. I didn’t really get how all of them didn’t get frostbitten just by being near the woman. I let George’s driver take me where I wanted to go and told him I’d make my own way back before getting out and walking two blocks over to the diner.

George Jr looked uncomfortable sitting in the diner but he showed up. I made him wait as I talked to Deb and told her what we knew. Which wasn’t much since Brian hadn’t contacted us since they left the house. I gave her an order since it would likely piss George Jr off that I made him wait. I waved to all the guys who said hi before sitting down in front of him and the menu he was reading like it held the secrets to life.

“Sorry, I hate ignoring the important people in my life.” I tell him.

“How about we deal with my offer first?” He asks me. And even, though I shouldn’t have been, I was surprised by it.

“The only time I will I leave George is when George asks me to. I don’t want or need your money. My relationship with George isn’t about dollar signs. Since he still wants me around, nothing you or your mother thought up will work. I want to keep George from doing something that could get him in trouble, because he wants to disembowel Carter Yates for you.” I tell him.

“What are you talking about?” He asks.

“Do you really want me to explain it here? While everyone here looks like they’re not paying attention to us, they are. I know you and your mother are all about appearances. Of course, you might not worry about a bunch of gay men gossiping about George’s son being at the diner. It’s not like you have anything to hide. Or do you?” I ask.

“This conversation is over.” George tells me, starting to stand up, just as Deb blocks his path, making him sit again.

“Sit down and eat something. Then when Emmett’s through you can go.” Deb tells him, in her way of making sure the listener knows better than to defy her. It worked and he looked resigned to stay.

“Lindsay related your story to us about Carter. Your father is willing to kill the asshole, because unlike your mother and all of you, he doesn’t slam the door on you or any one who hurts his children. He loves you and wants to show Carter his idea of what should have been done to someone who hurts his children. Carter… Well, lets just say there are many idea’s, none of which I know or would admit to knowing. I’d rather George just ruin all the assholes. But I want to know it won’t end up hurting George if he finds out something different than what you told Lindsay.” I tell him.

“What makes you think I have anything to hide?” He asks me.

“Because your mother taught you to hide anything that would ruin the perfect family image y'all think is important. I have no problem believing Carter is a sick pervert. My only question is, just how did you end up alone with him?” I ask him.

“Why do you want to know?” He asks, looking anywhere but at me.

“What made you agree to go with Carter?” I asked, ignoring his question.

“I didn’t want to have sex with him.” He tells me, not answering.

“I didn’t imply you did. Unless I’m wrong and my gaydar is way off, you’re straight. It’s why I picked here to meet, because if you weren’t, you would have looked around instead of heading to this table pretending you wanted to eat from here.” I tell him.

“It was nothing.” He says nonchalantly.

“Understand something. Whatever it was, when your father catches up to Carter, what do you think are the chances Carter will tell him? I’d say they were pretty high, since he doesn’t know the George I do. Carter would think like your kind does, that George will do whatever it takes to avoid ruining the family name. Which won’t matter to George, since he still loves you no matter how you treat him. I don’t want George blindsided by anything when he does what your mother wouldn’t. I love George too much to let that happen and I guess I’m hoping that for once you love your father enough to make sure he knows what he could be walking into.” I tell him.

“You think he’d care even if whatever it is you think I’m hiding will come out? Like you said, he couldn’t give a shit if we were dragged through the mud. Which we were when he moved out and started living like a hermit. Everyone knows why he did it. And while no one says anything to our faces, we know it happens behind our backs. Then he has to make it public with you. Reopening all the things we’ve managed to get past.” He sneers at me.

“That bad? Let me think before you try to distract me with your tale of how hard living off your father was for you. What would be bad enough for your mother to hide the fact that you were almost raped? You were young enough, and the family had enough money to hide your name, so that couldn’t be it. Were you curious, and in the end your mother didn’t need anyone thinking you were like what she already knew your father? That you were gay… No, that wouldn’t be it, because you aren’t. I can keep going, or you could just tell me.” I tell him.

“That’s up to you. So far you’re just proving my father wasn’t looking for an intellectual equal when it came to you.” He tells me.

“That might have hurt if your opinion of me mattered. Wait… How about Carter had something on you? I could see that, since the whole family seems to work that way.” I tell him, watching the clenching of his hands. “Whatever it was had not just you, but your friends families turning Carter into an outcast among his peers. From what I hear it was no easy feat, because the Yates were richer than all of you. Are we going to keep going, or are you going to make sure I have a way of protecting you?” I ask.

“You protecting me!?” He says, barely holding back the look of disbelief.

“It’s the only way I can protect George. Which means I protect all of you.” I tell him.

George Jr debated for a minute before getting up and walking towards the door. Deb looked to me and I shook my head. I tried, but in the end I’d help George deal with what his son wouldn’t help us with. I got up and walked out behind him. Instead of heading back, I wandered down the street, just window shopping. I got a couple of blocks before a car pulled up.

“Get in.” George Jr tells me.

“I don’t see any reason, since neither of us has anything the other wants to hear.” I tell him.

“My mother was sleeping with her best friend’s minor son. I was selling drugs to half the club kids and a few of the upstanding founders. And then I managed to knock up the maid’s daughter, who my mother paid off, not wanting my life ruined by the help.” He whispers.

“I don’t care what happens to your mother. Understand that. And you will tell your father where to find his grandchild. If you people could just admit that you’re fucked up, then no one could do this shit to you. I guess there’s actually something good about being born poor. Because nothing about being born like you seems to be any prize.” I tell him.

BRIAN

Justin led Hill and Caraway to where he put the things he left at George’s, before going to check on Hunter. When we got to the house, Ted was sitting in the kitchen still reading through documents. I sat Justin down and got us something to eat because we had been going non-stop all day.

“Where is everyone?” I ask.

“George said he wanted to work in his garden, Hunter went with him. Mel and Lindsay disappeared earlier to their room. I’m not sure where Emmett went but he called for George a little while ago and said he was on his way back. Blake said he needed to check in with a patient.” Ted answers, still reading.

“Find anything?” Justin asks.

“I’m comparing the two files to see where changes happened, and there aren’t amounts that would raise flags about where they money came from. Since it’s not more than what the companies would bring in on an average. It’s just no company continuously brings in the average, losses happen, the market raises, but everything seems to stay the same every quarter in all the companies Julian’s family owns. Either Julian was an idiot or incredibly smart about how he did this.” Ted said looking up, with a smile.

“Why do you think that?” Justin asks.

“The accounts don’t list exactly where the money came from, but that’s normal... to just list them as profits. I can at least tell you how the money disappears. It was part of his charitable contribution he required every company under the Yates umbrella to have as he acquired them. Which means I can also give you an idea of exactly how much the side venture is likely taking in, because I don’t get the feeling Julian’s this autrusic. It’s smart, because it happens all the time in business and no one would really look too hard at how he did it. What makes him not so smart is that he didn’t just do this in one of his companies, but spread it out through all of them, probably trying to launder the money in smaller amounts throughout all his companies. If I’m right he’ll lose everything, because he didn’t confine it to a small part of his corporation, but to every inch of it. Which is me guessing at what I’m seeing now that I’ve had time. What about you two?” Ted asks us.

“If we can trust the author of those files, Julian’s downfall might be on a thumb dri…” 

“Can you guys come with us? I think George is going need our support.” Emmett came in, interrupting Justin.

“This is private family business.” The guy admonishes Emmett.

George came in the backdoor with Hunter behind him upon hearing his son. “Then why are you here, since you haven’t consider me family in years? The people you see around you, this is the only family I’ve had since mine wanted nothing to do with me.” George tells him.

“I think it’s more that he doesn’t want anyone to hear that he isn’t better than everyone else. I mean, your son, the find upstanding man he is, apparently was the drug supplier for most of the elite, and your wife was busy getting it on with her best friend’s baby boy. Which only gave Carter reasons to blackmail him into doing what Carter wanted... a little chance at buggering Georgie Jr here. Luckily he got rescued in time. But I bet they were just looking for something to get rid of Carter for… A guess on my part, since according to Jr here you aren’t with me because of my brain.” Emmett tells him.

Emmett nudged Jr, who stood there still trying to look superior. “I think he deserves to hear what I haven’t told him, from you.” Emmett tells him.

“It doesn’t matter.” George Jr tells him.

“It will to your father. Because you caused the shit he was trying to fix because he loved you. I think he deserves to know there’s a better option than continuing to support a family that abandoned him. He could have a grandchild who might be happy to have George for the wonderful person he is.” Emmett tells everyone.

“WHAT?” George asks, astonished at the revelation.

“I don’t even know what happened to the baby. Mom took care of it.” George Jr said, not even sounding like he cared.

“Apparently since it was the maid’s daughter he knocked up, your wife seemed to forget the baby would have still have been your grandchild.” Emmett filled in.

“I knew I should have forbidden Caroline from bringing Jennifer to work with her. Not because I would have had a problem with a relationship between my son and her. Because I would have supported one if my son wasn’t the self-entitled child he was. What did you do, convince her eventually you two could be more?” George asks, looking disappointed.

“She thought my attention meant something, and I let her, since she was so easy.” George Jr sneered at his father.

“What happened to her and the baby?” George asked.

“Who cares. Mom caught her stealing and fired Caroline, making sure everyone knew not to help them. You didn’t even question it when you came home and we had a new maid.” He tells George.

“Did you even care that it was your child? That was tossed out with nothing?” George asked.

“It was a mistake, nothing more, to me.” He tells his father.

“Your mother wouldn’t have left something like that without assurances it wouldn’t come back later.” George tells him.

“Jennifer didn’t have a lot of choices. Mom made sure of it. When the baby was born Mom took care of it and made sure Jennifer knew if she said anything she’d go to jail.” He tells George.

“How did she take care of it?” George asked, furious at his wife and son, and worried for an innocent life

“She told me the kid was where it wouldn’t bother us anymore… She didn’t hurt the kid if that’s what your thinking. She said he would have a family. I made sure. I’m not as heartless as you seem to be thinking I was.” He told him.

“It was a boy?” George asked.

“That’s what she told me.” He tells him.

“I need to find Jennifer and help her. Then I’m going to deal with your mother once and for all.” George tells him.

“We did what we had to in order to save our names. Trust me Jennifer knows what will happen if she talks to you.” He tells George.

“Only because she believes you and your mother hold some kind of power. Which you won’t when I get finished with you. Don’t think because your mother still has her family’s backing that losing mine won’t tip the scales drastically. She married me because I raised her standing, not the other way around. My grandchild will get what you don’t deserve for what you’ve done to him.” George tells him.

“You can’t cut us out! I’ll sue to make sure that never happens!” He tells George, making all of us laugh at what was really important to him.

“Get a good lawyer son, and warn your mother that when I’m through she’ll be explaining why she was sleeping with Dorothy's sixteen year old son. And trying not to look like the monster she is for abandoning her grandson. I have no problem explaining to my board that you shouldn’t represent them when your past proves you’re no better than a drug peddler and someone who can’t accept their responsibilities.” George tells him.

“You can’t prove any of this.” George tells him.

“He won’t have to, since I recorded it, on my phone.” Hunter smiles to Emmett.

“See, I actually do have a brain.” Emmett tells George Jr.

“Since I’m really disgusted by hearing this, make sure to send it to me.” Hall tells Hunter.

“Who are you?” George Jr asks looking pissed.

“No one in particular, just an agent for the FBI.” Hill shrugs as George Jr pales in front of him.

“I’m still going to make Carter pay for everything.” George tells Hill.

“If we could find what we were looking for, we might be able to do that without having to arrest you.” Hill tells him.

“Nothing?” I ask.

“Get out of my house, and make sure your mother knows she ended my generosity.” George tells his son.

“You promised her.” He yells at George.

“She promised me that she’d do what was best for our family. Is that what happened to my grandson?” George asks, not caring what the answer was. George couldn’t hide the disappointment he felt in his family from us. George Jr left quickly. “I told Virginia I wouldn’t divorce her, but I can’t keep that promise. What kind of cold hearted person could do that to our grandchild? I don’t care what she says, Caroline and Jennifer were honest people, Caroline worked for everything she had and instilled it in Jennifer not to take charity. She was a sweet girl that deserved a good life. I feel responsible, because I let her be around my son, knowing she hadn’t had a lot of love in her life other than her mother’s.” 

“He probably turned her head. He did look alot like you did at his age. If he made her think he loved her, she might not have understood it was all a game to him.” Emmett tells him.

“Sorry to interrupt, but anywhere else you can think of?” Hill asked Justin.

“This is the only other place I would have put anything the thumb drive might have been in.” Justin tells him.

“Why are you looking for that?” Emmett asks.

“We were told Julian might have hidden a thumb drive with Justin’s things. But we’ve looked through everything Justin had.” I tell him.

“Everything? Are you sure? Cause I know when my mom is around I hide things kind of in plain sight because she’ll toss my room but pay no attention to something I practically leave sitting out. I learned that after she found most of my hiding spots. I used to sleep on my laptop since she wouldn’t want to wake me up looking for things to sell.” Hunter offered.

“We’ve torn apart his house, looked through all the boxes, and everything he brought here.” Hill tells him, making me smile that he didn’t discount Hunter.

“What about my mattress? It’s an idea. As small as it is it wouldn’t require a large cut in it. Julian wouldn’t be able to get it without me, sort of.” Justin suggests.

Emmett got up and ran out of the room, bringing back the teddy bear I gave Lindsay. “You guys brought this back.” He tells us, handing it to Hill.

“I don’t feel anything.” Hill told us, looking disappointed.

“George you okay?” Emmett asked, seeing George go pale.

“Where did you get that?” He asks.

“It was mine. I thought Gus would like it.” Justin tells him.

“Where did you get it?” He asks.

“It was left with me.” Justin tells him.

I barely managed to help Emmett catch George when he collapsed. We were rushing around trying to get George to the living room while Emmett called the butler to call an ambulance. George came around as Lindsay and Mel came rushing in. 

“What’s going on?” Lindsay asked, looking concerned.

“Can I see it?” George asked Hill who was holding the teddy bear.

“George we need to take care of you first.” Emmett insisted, but let Hill hand it to him.

“I haven’t seen this in years, but I remember it.” George tells us.

“I... I don’t... understand.” Justin says, even though I think he was really trying to work it through his mind.

“I had this made for Jennifer when she turned sixteen. She didn’t get many gifts.” George tells Justin.

“Maybe… it’s just… I…” Justin says, backing away from all of us.

“Justin?” I said, trying to reach him.

Justin walked out of the room, with his shadows following him. I wanted to give him a minute before I followed. I didn’t want to crowd him.

“Are you sure George? Be sure. Because I don’t want him to be hurt if it’s wrong.” I tell him.

“I can have it authenticated, but it looks exactly like the one I helped make for her.” George tells him, holding it like it was fragile.

“Brian, we have to find that drive.” Hill tells me, looking apologetic.

“Find what?” Lindsay asked.

“Nothing you need to worry about.” Hill tells her, still irritated at us for telling each other everything.

“A thumb drive.” Hunter tells her, getting a glare from Hill.

Lindsay took off out of the room. I started to leave when she ran back in with something in her hand. 

“I found this. Is this what Justin was looking for?” Lindsay asks, holding it up.

“See. This is why we share everything.” Emmett tells them.

JUSTIN

I walked until I found the bench Emmett would sit on and watch George planting flowers. It seemed like a good place to think. I looked around the grounds, taking in the massive home that became like a mausoleum for George. A place where the world would leave him alone when they didn’t want him. George filled it with life, willing to take a chance on people again after his family failed him so badly. He didn’t even turn his back on them when they showed up asking for help, just offered anything he could do to help. Until I met… George’s son, I wanted to keep George in my life. Only, was it right of me to blame George for what someone else did?

I never let myself think what it would be like, finding my birth family. I didn’t want it to affect my life in any way. I didn’t need them to define me- I defined me. Brian coming into my life changed things, but only in good ways. Brian and I could make a future, one that we were both happy with, without knowing something that could cast a cloud over us. 

I kept trying to avoid thinking about what Jennifer might have felt... if she even cared what happened to me. George made it sound like she was a good person, but then he didn’t even notice or check on what happened to her, and that made me unsure about George. Which was something I hated to feel. Only, I kept thinking about everything George did to protect his son, even with the way he treated George, and wanted to give him a chance. It was all so confusing.

I felt Brian sit down next to me, and didn’t push him away when he held my hand. I wasn’t ready to talk yet, but having him next to me was something I’d always want.

BRIAN

Hill and Caraway took off with the thumb drive, saying they’d call as soon as they could tell us what was going to happen. Everyone in the room started worrying about Justin and wanting to check on him. 

“He doesn’t need all of you trying to talk to him right now. I’m giving him a second to get his bearings, then I'll help him any way he needs me to.” I tell them.

“What must he think of my family and me?” George asks Emmett sadly.

“Hopefully that what they did to him wasn’t something you would have done if you’d known,” Emmett tells him, not willing to pretend this was all going to turn out great for George.

“Should I at least try to talk to him? I owe him so much for what my family did to his life.” George says, looking to me.

“He doesn’t need apologies, or for you to feel like you owe him. He doesn’t need pity from you either, because he managed to become the man he is without complaining about all the things he didn’t have growing up. I’m not saying he won’t want to get to know you, but when you do try to talk to him, make it because you want to know him for him and not for any other reason.” I tell him.

“I respect him for the person he is. Something being raised by my wife and son we could have lost if they’d done the right thing. I want to know him because he is the kind of grandson I would be proud to call mine.” George tells me.

“Give him time for it all to sink in and let him come to you,” I tell him, heading outside.

Justin’s shadows backed up when I walked over to where Justin sat on the bench outside. He wasn’t saying anything, just looking around him. I sat next to him unfolding his fist and sliding my hand into his. As far as I was concerned we could sit here not saying anything until he was ready. I’d kill anyone who tried to come out here until Justin was ready to deal with it all.

“I don’t look anything like him,” Justin says, staring at the flowers in George’s garden.

“You’re nothing like that asshole,” I tell him.

“Maybe none of it’s true,” Justin tells me.

“Even if it is, it only changes your life if you want it to,” I tell him.

“I never sat around thinking one day I’d find anyone. Why bother when they didn’t want me. I’ve been fine all my life without them. From what I can see I wouldn’t have wanted them in my life.” Justin tells me.

“I can’t disagree with you. I know my life would have been better without the people claiming to be my parents.” I tell him.

“I like George,” Justin tells me.

“I did too when I met him, and my opinion of him only got better as I got to know him. He didn’t let what was expected of him rule his life. With everything he’s learning, he’s facing it. The only thing he’s worried about now is how you feel.” I tell him.

“I don’t know how to feel about it… and we have to find the thumb drive.” Justin tells me, still lost.

“It was in the bear. Lindsay had it and gave it to Hill and Caraway. It’s really not important right now.” I tell him when he started to say something. “Justin this is a lot for anyone to take in, you have a family if you want them. We could help George track down your mother, who sounds like she wasn’t given many choices when you were born.” I tell him.

“If any of this is even true,” Justin tells me.

“It’s up to you to decide if you want the truth,” I tell him.

“What if she’s not like George wants to believe she is?” Justin asks me.

I turned his face to look at me. “Then you go on with me, and we make our lives so none of it matters,” I tell him.

“It really doesn’t. Because I have you, and Gus, and maybe George.” Justin tells me, kissing me before getting up and walking with me back to the house.

JUSTIN

We walked into the house to find George sitting at the table alone, holding on to the teddy bear. He didn’t say anything when we walked in, just looked up at me, waiting.

“This might not be what you think,” I tell him, pointing to the teddy bear.

“It might not be, but I honestly believe this is. I spent a lot of time with the maker going over the details so it would be special for Jennifer.” George tells him.

“Why did you make her one?” I asked.

“Every girl deserves something special for her sixteenth birthday. Her mother offered a simple dinner out for her and Jennifer turned it down, because it was money they couldn’t afford to let go of. She would have been upset if she found out how much this bear cost, so I told her it was just something I saw at a gift shop. You’d have thought I gave her diamonds.” George tells us.

“You cared that much but when she wasn’t there you didn’t even bother to find out why?” I ask, not understanding.

“That was wrong of me and I so wish I had asked. I just assumed Caroline moved on, the way the rest of the staff did because Virginia was and is a hard woman to please. In truth, I rarely asked about anything, wanting to get away from my wife, not encourage interactions. Normally I wouldn’t have gotten to know the maids or butlers, but Caroline lasted longer than the others, and came to me about letting her daughter come with her to work because she didn’t want her left home alone because the neighborhood they lived in wasn’t the best.” He tells me.

“Do you think she would have stolen?” Brian asks.

“No. I think it was more my wife needing a way to deal with a problem. Who would the police believe though, the maid’s daughter or my wife? Virginia knew the police chief at that time, and he wasn’t any better than the current one. I have a feeling Jennifer was put in a situation where she couldn’t win one way or the other.” George tells us.

“Even if they threatened her, by now it wouldn’t matter anymore,” Hunter tells him, looking up from the computer.

“Maybe she was just happier to forget,” I said out loud without thinking.

“I couldn’t tell you unless you want me to help you find her. I’m just hoping you’ll give me a chance to get it right for once in my life with you.” George tells me.

“I’m not looking for a father figure, nor am I even sure I want family… but a friend I can deal with right now.” I tell him.

“I can do that, and if you want more I can do that too. I do want to do one thing though, because, without it, my family would fight and win. I want us to prove who you are.” George tells me.

“I don’t want anything from you,” I tell him.

“If you don’t that’s your choice to make one day. I just want no doubt that you are my grandson.” He tells me.

“If I’m not, I’ll help you find the real one. I’m really good at it.” I tell him.

“I’m going to find Jennifer, if you don’t want anything to do with her, I’ll respect that.” He tells me.

“We have some work to do,” I tell Brian, wanting to get away from everyone.

“Where are we going?” Brian asked, following me out the room.

“Someplace where you can make me forget for a little while,” I tell him, leading him to the other side of the house.

JUSTIN

I just wanted to forget for a while and Brian did everything I asked. He didn’t let me do anything. Taking his time to undress me, kissing every inch of skin he revealed. While I laid there, emptying my mind of anything but the feeling of his lips on my skin. In everything he did the minute we closed the door I felt wanted and loved, as if he wanted to erase any doubts that I was loved. Being with Brian gave my mind a rest. I couldn’t think of anything but him when he did the amazing things he could do to me. 

I couldn’t think when his tongue rimmed my hole. I couldn’t think when his hands stroked my cock. And thinking was out the window altogether when he held me as he thrust himself into me. He was wild and free with anything i needed. He watched me to make sure everything he did to me was what I needed. The first time was quick, but he wanted me relaxed before he took his time with me. The second time was more about feeling the connection we were forging with each other. When we came together again it was slower. It was not about reaching climax, but about us joining together. I held him as he lay over me, wanting every inch of us touching each other. I rolled my hips, liking the way Brian’s breathing became heavier with each movement. Eventually, the need for completion was undeniable for either of us. Slow became faster and faster, I didn’t muffle the screams or care that I was begging him to move faster. The sound of our skin slapping and my groan as I came, then his when he let himself go was all that mattered to me at that moment.

Brian went to get a washcloth to clean us both up. I lay there, not letting anything but this moment in time matter. It was hard for me not to want to know what was going on with Julian, but I trusted Hill and knew he’d call if he needed me. I knew I couldn’t avoid thinking about Jennifer or George, but I didn’t know how I felt about it. Instead, I closed my eyes and let Brian pull me into his arms. And then I slept because I was tired, and happy in this moment with Brian.

I woke up, got dressed, and went to find George. I needed one more pieces of information from him. I knew the minute I woke up my decision was made, good or bad. While I was at it, I decided to make Hill’s job easier, since justice was more about who had more power, and Julian did. Hill couldn’t stop Julian if he left the country, but there was one agency that could do it.

BRIAN

I didn’t move when I felt Justin get up. He’d been asleep over an hour and I knew nothing was going to get him to sleep longer. He left the room, coming back to pace for a couple minutes before grabbing his laptop. He looked at me as it turned on, kissing me, not caring that I watched him type Caroline and Jennifer Richmond into a search engine I’ve never seen before. It took seconds for him to get a couple of pages of information related to all the words he searched. He scrolled, not finding what he was looking for at first, then stopping at an obituary.

“Caroline Richmond died last year. She left behind her daughter Jennifer and granddaughter Molly. It doesn’t list any other relatives, like a husband.” Justin tells me.

“You have a sister.” I tell him, not sure if that was good news or not.

“I guess Jennifer went on with her life.” Justin says, without any emotion behind it.

“It doesn’t mean she forgot about you.” I told him.

“Even if she did, it’s okay. I can’t lose something I never had if she really wants nothing to do with me.” Justin tells me.

“If she doesn’t, it’s her loss not yours.” I tell him, and kissed him before getting up.

I got up to shower while Justin told me he wanted to check on something else. I offered to help clean all his hard to reach places, but he was already lost in what he was typing. When I came out he’d closed his laptop, standing at the window looking out.

“Everything okay?” I asked him.

“She signed up on a site to find me.” Justin tells me.

“Jennifer?” I asked, as he nodded.

“It’s one of the sites where people look for the child given up for adoption. It’s like she thought that’s what happened to me.” He tells me.

“Justin, if Jennifer is anything like George thinks, George’s wife told her you were going to a better life than she could give you. Even if that’s not what she really planned to do. I’m guessing here, but she likely didn’t want you to pay for her mistakes. If it was me, I’d do what I could to protect Gus.” I tell him.

“She lives two blocks from my house. I could have passed her and Molly on the streets. Why didn’t she move?” Justin asks.

“What else did you manage to find out?” I ask since I had no answer unless we talked to Jennifer.

“My sister’s the top of her class. Her father died a couple years after Molly’s birth. Jennifer works in real estate, doing pretty well from her bank statements.” Justin tells me.

“I noticed you called Molly your sister, yet Jennifer didn’t get a title beyond her name.” I mentioned.

“What happened to me has nothing to do with Molly. ” Justin tells me.

“What will make Jennifer not guilty in your eyes?” I ask.

“I don’t know. But for now, I’ll let George help me. I want to help Hill.” Justin tells me.

“Sounds good. I really want to see Julian behind bars.” I tell Justin, thinking George might get his wish with Justin because he trusted George’s opinion.

“It would also keep him busy instead of doing some of the things he seems to think Carter deserves,” Justin tells me.

“You don’t agree the asshole deserves what happens to him?” I asked as Justin went to shower.

“Of course I do. But I also think the perverts that think they’re safe in their protected worlds could do worse to Carter than we could.” Justin tells me.

“Justin?” I ask following him to the bathroom.

“I made sure they had nothing to lose anymore. If it gets them here, well that’s their stupidity.” Justin tells me, pulling me into the shower.

“Why do you think they’ll come here? They could send someone else to take care of Carter.” I commented.

“Julian and Carter both need to worry since it looks like they decided to help themselves to more of their clients accounts, with an email that invited each client to meet about it personally. Of course, Julian might not be happy, since the amounts likely sent up all those red flags he successfully avoided, but I made sure Carter’s personal account was included too, so all is fair.” Justin told me.

“You wanted to make sure didn’t you?” I ask him.

“Investigations take time, and I didn’t want Julian or Carter to have time to slip out of the country while Hill had to dot every i and cross every t. I also didn’t want them to have people willing to help them or the people able to escape because the FBI couldn’t touch them. While the FBI must build a case, the IRS isn't bound by the same rules. Something Julian understood with the way he set up the accounts. Granted I might need Hill if the IRS gets pissed at me for showing them how much money they let Julian deduct from his taxes.” Justin tells me, kissing me.

GEORGE

I called my doctor, explaining what I needed and asking him to come over, while we waited around since Justin asked me to trust him and not do anything about the Yates. The family lawyers were on their way too. I wanted to know what they did to Jennifer before I fired them for it since they took my money and helped the bitch I married erase Justin from our lives. 

I understood the doubt, since all I had was a teddy bear as my proof. But I spent a lot of time designing that bear, not even sure why I was doing it. I remember just wanting to give her something nice, not realizing that one day it would lead me to a grandson. I almost want to see the look on Virginia's face when our son tells her that her actions to protect them lost her everything.

Justin and Brian came in and I watched as Justin gave a rare smile to Brian. A smile I’d seen once before. 

“You look like your planning a lynching.” Brian tells me, as he and Justin found me in the living room.

“That’s what it’s going to feel like for my wife and son,” I tell them.

“Is that really what you want?” Justin asks me.

“Justin, one thing that kept me from divorcing Virginia was not wanting to hurt my family by living the lie I couldn’t live anymore. I didn’t stop her when she turned my son against me because I hadn’t been a great father, to begin with. As long as she was loyal to our family I gave her what she asked for. Which is something she knew was my condition to staying married. What she did to you, broke her promise to me. I won’t stay married to someone who could treat my grandchild like something easily tossed away. I know you still have doubts, and maybe we’re wrong, but even if we are there's still a child my wife did this to.” I tell him.

“If I don’t end up being your grandson, we’ll find him for you.” Justin tells me.

“You look like Jennifer.” I tell him.

“In what way?” Justin asks.

“She was blonde like you, and a minute ago when you smiled at Brian, it reminded me of the smile Jennifer gave me as she thanked me for this bear. I know it’s meaningless as proof, but we’ll know soon enough after my doctor tests you against my son and me.” I tell him.

“Are they going to agree? If Justin’s your grandson it will mean they lose everything important to them.” Brian points out.

“I knew Virginia was unfaithful in the past, it wasn’t like I gave her a reason to be faithful. When DNA testing was available, I asked my doctor to do it without telling Virginia. If George Jr wasn’t mine, I’d planned to find a way to make sure he wouldn’t be cut out of my will. As far as I was concerned he was born my son and he wouldn’t be cut out because of his mother’s mistakes. It’s why I don’t want him and Virginia to benefit for doing what they did to you when I wouldn’t have done the same if George Jr was the son of the golf pro instead of mine. They won’t be poor by anyone’s standards, they just won’t be at the level they seem to love.” I tell him, as Hill walks in looking a bit put out.

“Really Justin?” Hill asks.

“You can thank me later.” Justin says, smiling that familiar smile.

“I’ll be sure to tell the IRS that after they stop feeling like idiots,” Hill told him.

EMMETT

I tried not to enjoy the show too much, but watching Mr Hot Shot lawyer, aka Tristan Carmichael, try to justify his part in doing Virginia’s bidding was seriously too hard not to enjoy. 

“George, for years it was my firm's job to make sure the Shickel name wasn’t put at risk. I only did what was asked of the firm by Virginia because in the past you allowed us to take orders from her.” Tristan told him, sweating bullets.

“I’m not asking for excuses. I want to know everything you did,” George tells him.

“I only made sure the maid’s daughter didn’t think she could use the oldest trick in the book to bleed your family for money. She didn’t help herself when she stole the broach, a Shickel family heirloom, from Virginia’s jewelry box. According to Virginia, the girl was likely only saying the baby was George Jr’s. And looking at the place she came from… well, the girl was likely hoping George Jr would help her and her baby out of that situation. Add that to the stealing, and it pretty much looks like exactly what Virginia believed.” Tristan tells him.

“So you assumed Jennifer was guilty, based only on what Virginia told you? Yet, as an officer of the court, instead of calling the police to deal with it, what did you do?” George asked.

 “Virginia decided against that, not me. She felt it was better to deal with the situation without calling more attention to it.” Tristan tells him.

“In other words, she didn’t want anyone to think the child Jennifer was carrying was possibly my irresponsible son’s child? By going to the police Virginia would also have to explain how the broach, that was kept in a safety deposit box in our bank, not lying around the house, was stolen by Jennifer. Then she would need to explain why she had the broach at the house, since she never wore it. What I want to know is how you convinced Jennifer to give up her baby to Virginia and why I was never told about it?” George asked.

“Virginia felt it was better you not be made aware of the pregnancy. She felt you would try to help the girl out since you seemed to have a relationship with the mother. She felt you were a little too close with both of them” Tristan tells him, making me snort with what was being implied.

“My only ‘relationship’ with either of them was one of a friend. I had no interest in any woman, including the one I married the day I married Virginia. Now I need a few things answered without going off on tangents. Why would Jennifer be afraid to come to me about it? Who is responsible for what happened to the child after it was born? And what was done with my grandson?” At Tristan’s surprised look George tells him, “Yes, I know it was a boy.” 

“We made Jennifer and her mother sign statements that they would not contact anyone in the family or they would risk prosecution. Jennifer was also persuaded to give the child to Virginia if she didn’t want her family to lose what little they had. The rest was done when the baby was born and Jennifer was sent away.” Tristan tells him, avoiding answering the rest.

“I WANT TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WAS DONE AND BY WHOM! Your career will ride on your answer, because it decides how I deal with everything.” George tells him.

“Jesus George. My firm only did what we were asked. The baby was left at the hospital as we were told to do when Virginia told us the girl admitted it wasn’t your son’s child. Even I felt the child deserved a better chance and did what was asked of me.” Tristan tells him.

“Did you ever bother to find out what happened to the baby?” I asked.

“Why would I?” Tristan said, looking at me like he wished I was that easy to get rid of. “George, you should be thanking us for cleaning up that mess, since the baby wasn’t your son’s,” Tristan says, as if he did George a favor.

“I’m sure after all the threats made to Jennifer she would have said whatever all of you wanted to hear. But unlike you and my soon to be ex-wife, I plan to verify that the child IS my grandson since my son told me the baby was his.” George tells him.

“If that’s what you want to do my firm would be happy to help you find him. It might take a while though since I’ll have to find out where the child went. And I’d be happy to deal with all the testing for you personally.” Tristan tells him, likely thinking George would see it as him needing Tristan’s firm.

“You really think that after what you and Virginia did I’d trust you to handle it? Or did you plan to handle this the same way? I only have one question left. How did the baby end up with this?” George asks, showing him the teddy bear.

“You found the baby!?” Tristan asks, shocked, no longer acting like he was on firm ground.

“ANSWER ME!” George tells him.

“She came to me when they were escorting her out of the apartment she was living in and asked me to at least let her give it to the baby. She asked for so little through it all that I gave in and left it with the child.” Tristan tells him, as if he felt for Jennifer.

“Did she tell you where she got it?” George asked.

“I didn’t ask.” Tristan admitted.

“I had it made for her. And the child, who kept this all his life while being shuffled from place to place brought it back to me. So no, I don’t need your firm to do any more than you’ve already done. After hearing the kinds of things your firm will do, I couldn’t in good conscience continue to do business with you.” George tells him, as I watch the man pale.

“George, we’ve represented you for years. You can’t throw away years of excellent work we’ve done over this one small thing.” Tristan argues.

“I can and will. Because my grandson shouldn’t have to put up with you after what you did to him. That child you carelessly tossed away will one day own it all. How does it feel to know the baby you called ‘a small thing’ is now the reason you’ll lose everything you worked for all your life? It won’t just be my company, but quite a few of your other clients, who are, at this moment, being told what you did with my grandson. My new firm will be contacting you by the time you get back to your firm to transfer my account to them. You’d better hurry, because I’m not the only account you lost today. Ron Peterson told me to tell you the Untouchables will be requesting the same.” George tells him, not even having to wave him out, since Tristan ran.

I waited for Tristan to leave, before going to George. “Are you sure you want to deal with Virginia right now?” I ask.

“It’s time she understands she’s no longer going to continue her life as it has been, since she broke the promise she made to me,” George tells me.

Virginia took her time answering George’s demand for her to appear and bristled when he didn’t ask me to leave her presence. Instead, she seemed to think she was still in charge of everything.

“I agreed to this meeting for one reason only, to make sure you understand your position. No one on your board has confidence in you anymore. Something you insured by walking away from the family. The life you’ve led recently wouldn’t instill confidence in the board that you're making sound decisions.” Virginia tells him, looking right at me. I waved and smiled because I knew it pissed her off.

“I only invited you into my home to give you my conditions if you want to maintain anything close to the lifestyle you love above all else. Understand me clearly. We will divorce. What you came into this marriage with I’ll leave alone, and if our son willingly walks away he won’t lose everything either.” George tells her.

“What makes you think I’ll agree to any of that?” Virginia asks, looking down her nose at both of us.

“Because I have no problem with our family being dragged through the shit you and our son did, since my life choices will now pale by comparison. I willingly allowed everything to stay the same for years because I didn’t know you’d broken your promise to do what was best for our family long before you gave it. I didn’t care who slept in your bed, but I doubt your best friend will feel the same way. I’m willing to take the blame for not getting our son away from your influence, because your influence turned him into someone I’m ashamed carries my name. Until recently I would have let it all go… but you changed that because you broke your word when you discarded our grandchild for no other reason than you wanted bluer blood. That’s where you lost any means to hold me to my promise. You didn’t do what was best for our family. You asked why you think I can make you agree? You’ll agree because I won’t take any prisoners if you fight me. Trust me, even with my lifestyle, the world will care more that you slept with a child. And believe me, I’ll make sure that’s how they see it, no matter how long ago it was. I’ll make sure you look like the monster you are, by explaining how a young girl in our household was taken advantage of, by not only by our son, but by you. And I’ll make sure the threats you held over her head to take her child will become front page news. Including the way you handed him off without a care about what happened to him. While I’m doing all that you can try anything you want, but without helping yourself to the money you sold yourself to me for. The house you love so much still belongs to me, and will now be sold. All the heirlooms will be returned to me, since they never belonged to you, and you never liked any of them or wore them. All accounts you have access to are being closed as we speak, and an account with the money that is rightfully yours will be set up, but only after you and your son do as I ask. You can try to fight me, and I welcome draining the last of what you have by keeping this in court for years.” George tells her.

“No one will believe you, and that girl knows what’s at stake.” She tells him, like it’s her trump card.

“I’ll make sure she has all the proof she needs to take you to the cleaners for ruining her life. Test me on it at your own risk.” George tells her.

“You’ll be hearing from my lawyers. I will not let our son’s legacy be taken because of a servant,” Virginia tells him.

“I wouldn’t put too much hope in Tristan and his firm. They’ll likely be too busy trying to save themselves since they aren’t just losing my account, but the accounts of all the people who still have confidence in me. Tristan knows it’s happening because of you, so good luck.” George tells her.

“If you do what you're saying you’ll hurt our child,” Virginia tells him, slightly less sure of her position now.

“No more than you and he hurt his child. If you’d cared for our grandson, none of this would have happened. The moment you gave away our grandson, any guilt I felt over my deception in our marriage became null and void. Right now the only thing you need to do is sign the divorce papers and find a new home to rule, because the locks are being changed as you sit here.” George tells her.

“You bastard. I gave up everything I could have been for you.” Virginia tells him, getting up and glaring at me one more time.

“You might have, but you liked everything being married to me gave you,” George tells her.

She got out of the room only to run into the doctor and Justin. “Is there some reason he’s here?” Virginia asked looking at the doctor.

“I’m making sure you can’t slam the door to keep our secrets outside it anymore.” George tells him.

“I should have handled you long ago.” Virginia tells Justin, glaring at him before walking away.

“I should have the results in a couple of days. Anything else?” The doctor asked, looking to me to see if George needed to be checked.

JUSTIN

I watched as Julian was surrounded by reporters, wanting to question why he was being questioned by the IRS and whether it linked to the investigation the FBI announced they were doing that involved not only him but Carter Yates and Gary Sapperstein. Gary meanwhile was doing everything he could to save his own skin. He thought they’d make a deal since he didn’t know the evidence that was piling up was found. They let Gary talk his way into a life sentence. Then let him know deals weren’t even on the table since Julian’s thumb drive alone could convict him. At that point, Gary seemed to get that nothing would save him. Julian’s lawyers were trying to make it sound like Julian helped the FBI while sacrificing Carter as the real leader in all of it. All I wanted was for them to find and help the victims, the rest would play out. 

Ben and Daphne disappeared the next day, with Ben stopping to kiss Michael before telling him he’d be back when he could. Ben didn’t say where he was going but looked me in the eye, saying to live for once, to take a chance. I knew he didn’t mean my relationship with Brian. I’d been keeping myself busy not asking about… Jennifer and Molly. Brian didn’t say anything else about it, just started working with everyone to get his business ready to deal with the client’s needs.

In the week since Virginia’s visit, I gained a family I wasn’t really thrilled to have, other than George. I’d been getting to know George as my grandfather, but was still resistant to adding more after finding out that Virginia had kept tabs on my life, not out of any concern for me, but to make sure she would know if I ever found out about my link to her family. I had one visitor that I didn’t expect- George Jr’s wife. She didn’t come to defend him, but to put the final nail on her marriage. 

“I really loved him, warts and all. I always thought it was Virginia, but he went along with it.” She tells me.

“I… wish it were different for you,” I tell her.

“I’m just glad we never had any children. I couldn’t stay when I found out what he did to Jennifer.” She tells me.

“You knew her?” I asked, wishing I hadn’t.

“I’d been dating a friend of George’s when Jennifer was around. I remember her studying while all of us would hang out. I felt bad about the way the guys talked about her, like her mother working as the maid somehow made her less of a person. But she didn’t seem to care, happy with her life. Maybe I was too caught up in my life, but I saw it change as George seemed to entertain more and more. I wish I had known what he was doing to her, it would have saved me from falling for George in the end.” She tells me.

“My son could be charming when he wanted to be. When you and he married, he seemed to settle down.” George tells her.

“I just wanted to tell you and Justin, I’m sorry for everything you both dealt with. I know I stood by my husband, but never once was it because I had a problem with you.” She tells George.

“What are you going to do now?” George asks her.

“My parents wanted me to get away for now. They never really warmed to Virginia and George anyway.” She tells us, kissing George’s cheek. “They did like you though.”

After she left I put it out of my mind by working with Hunter on a game idea he thought up. The FBI didn’t need my help, so I used Hunter to occupy my mind. When George invited Jennifer and Molly to his house I left and went to the garden while Brian and George met with them. It was just too much for me.

BRIAN

George let me know he contacted Jennifer and she agreed to come after she was assured that she and Molly didn’t have to worry. Justin was still avoiding anything to do with his mother, and I didn’t feel any of us could understand how hard this would be for him. Emmett kissed George’s head and told us he felt like a picnic today and wandered off. When Jennifer and Molly came in, Molly looking at both George and me, confused. Jennifer was shaky and let George help her sit down. She saw the teddy bear, picking it up and burying her face in it.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered to it.

“Mom, it’s going to be okay,” Molly tells her.

“Jennifer, I’m sorry for not stopping what they did to you,” George tells her.

“I hated all of you,” Jennifer tells him.

“I can’t blame you for hating us after what my family did to you. But I want to make it better if I can.” George tells her.

“Is he here?” Jennifer asked.

“He is. But this is a lot for him to take in. I’m not sure he’ll talk to you right now.” I tell her.

“Who are you?” She asks me.

“The man who loves your son and will protect him from being hurt by anyone,” I tell her, wanting to see her reaction.

“Is he happy?” She asks.

“With Justin, it’s not always easy to tell. In fact the only time I can say I’ve seen it was when he was with Brian.” George tells her.

“They let him keep the name. I wanted him named Justin, but it wasn’t like they cared what I wanted.” Jennifer said, looking upset again.

“Jennifer, part of the reason I asked you here is that I know you didn’t steal anything. I want you to know you no longer have to worry about them.” George tells her.

“Sorry, but I need to use the bathroom,” Molly tells us.

“Just go out the way you came and it’s past the kitchen,” George tells her.

“I want to see him,” Jennifer tells us.

“I can’t give you that until Justin agrees,” George tells her.

“He came to you. Why would he after what your family did to him?” Jennifer asks.

“At the time, he didn’t know I was anyone but someone Brian came to for help. There are some other things that are going on that had nothing to do with our situation, and that Teddy Bear became the teller of secrets.” George tells her.

“What is he like?” Jennifer asks us.

“He’s one of the best men I know,” George tells her, but she looks to me.

“He spent a lot of his life being cautious about people. He spent his life with no one interested in him for anything other than what he was capable of, so he didn’t waste time on them. He’s brilliant, but it’s not the total sum of him. He used his talent to help others but he doesn’t see it as anything but doing the right thing. His shyness comes from not knowing how to respond to people, but that’s been less and less as he gets to know people. Justin never let what he lacked in life define him. He’s like George just said, one of the best men I know.” I tell her.

“You love him?” Jennifer asks.

“More than I knew I could love anyone other than my son,” I tell her.

“Do you know why he doesn’t want to see me?” She asks.

“Nothing good has come of what he’s found out so far, not meeting you keeps him from being hurt even more. I’m not saying you would hurt him, just that what he’s found out leaves him wary of the whole situation.” I tell her.

“Yet he’s here.” Jennifer points out.

“There are other reasons why we’re here. But I think it helped George’s case because Justin liked George before he knew anything. George opened his home and did anything to help us help Justin.” I tell her.

“I should have trusted you, then he would have never been taken from me,” Jennifer tells George, letting him hold her while she cried.

JUSTIN

Emmett showed up fussing with a blanket, declaring we were going to enjoy the sun. I almost told him to leave me alone. Instead, I went with him, I was hungry and Emmett didn’t deserve my moodiness.

“I’ll miss being here all the time,” Emmett tells me.

“Why would you think that would change?” I asked, relieved he didn’t want to talk about what was going on inside the house.

“George needs someone to love him, in a way that we don’t love each other. I needed a break from the direction my life was going and George needed to live the life he hid from. We do love each other, but eventually, we both want to experience that earth-shattering kind of love. I think it’s time for me to let George have that.” Emmett tells me.

“Even if it hurts you?” I ask.

“I want the best for George. Even if it means it hurts me in the process. Sometimes letting go is what you have to do no matter what the cost is for you.” Emmett tells me.

“What if it hurts her more to know what my life was like?” I ask him, not pretending I didn’t know what he was saying.

“Than it hurts her because she can’t change it for you. But if it was me, the idea of not knowing you would be worse.” Emmett tells me.

“With everything else going on, wouldn’t she be better off staying away from me?” I ask him, as he looks behind me.

I jumped when someone spoke behind me.

“There’s always sadness in her eyes even when she’s happy. Nothing really ever took that away until she was told about you.” Molly tells me, sitting at the edge of the blanket.

“I… I’m Justin,” I tell her, staring at her.

“I’m Molly... you look like mom.” She tells me.

“How long have you known about me?” I ask.

“My dad told me when I asked why Mom always seemed sad. He used to say we had to make up for her not having you in her life. I don’t want you to think she was a bad mom, she wasn’t. She did everything to make sure I always felt loved and wanted. When Dad died she became supermom to make up for him being gone. She joined this group that works with kids who don’t have families. I asked her once why she did it, she said she wanted them to know someone loved them the way she hoped someone loved you. I used to pretend you and I met, and now I don’t have too.” Molly tells me.

“I forgot something, will you keep Justin company for me?” Emmett asked her.

“As long as he shares.” Molly jokes.

“So is that your boyfriend, the really good looking guy talking to Mom?” Molly asks when I hadn’t said anything.

“Why do you think he’s my boyfriend?” I ask.

“Cause he told Mom he was the man that loved you. I was jealous since he’s like totally hot and in love with you.” Molly giggled fanning herself.

“We just fit. Before him… I liked my life not having people in it.” I tell her.

“What made you decide to let him in?” She asked, getting comfortable. 

“He was like me, alone for the most part. He had friends and pretty much any guy he wanted, yet it didn’t really touch him. I’d closed myself off, staying outside of everything, but he was out there living and it made me curious as to why he bothered. One night he jumped in my car, and from then on he was just there and I didn’t want to push him away, even when my life was turning his upside down.” I tell her, liking that it felt so easy to talk to her.

“How?” She asked.

“That’s a long story and most of it is still happening,” I tell her.

“We have the rest of our lives for you to tell me because even if you don’t want Mom, I still want my brother in my life. The fact that I can drool over your hot boyfriend is a plus too.” Molly tells me.

We sat there while she told me about her life. How boys were still jerks and that she was at the top of her class which made her happy, even when other kids thought she was boring. Maybe I needed to see that Molly was loved and that my mother wasn’t going to be anything like the family that took her from me. I knew I just didn’t understand how she could want someone like my father if she was the way George described her. 

“Can you tell her… Mom, that I’d like to eat lunch with her?” I asked Molly.

“Sure. You think I can get your boyfriend to show me around the giant house?” Molly asked, like she knew I needed to do this alone.

“Just ask and Brian will do anything,” I tell her.

I watched as Molly disappeared into the house, suddenly getting why Emmett and George used the garden to clear their minds. I looked at the butterfly landing on a flower, not letting myself think of all the ways this could go. I didn’t look when I heard her come out, just waited until she sat next to me.

“I’m trying to believe you’re here, but even seeing you I feel like I’m still dreaming... The one where you... aren’t there when I wake up.” She tells me, shaking as she reaches out to touch me, then stopping as if she wasn’t sure what to do.

“I didn’t dream of a family… I really didn’t let it bother me.” I tell her, not moving.

“If I had fought harder…” She trailed off, sounding defeated.

“But if I had… I’d have wanted the mom my sister described… it’s just it’s not easy for me… dealing with people… and if I have a hard time I need you to give me space until I’m ready for more.” I tell her, covering her hand that fell to her lap.

“Nothing will keep me from being there this time. I like your Brian.” She tells me.

BRIAN

Justin didn’t automatically welcome his mother with unlimited access into his life. Instead he let Hunter buffer him when he needed space. I wanted to be there, but Justin insisted that for once I do what I needed to do and get Kinnetik up and running, now that Julian, Carter, and Saperstein were in custody. Justin meanwhile, was ignoring all job offers being thrown his way. Instead, he and Hunter were busy trying to design the game Hunter came up with. George set up an office for my staff since we were still looking at locations, and because George knew I didn’t want to be away from Justin unless it couldn’t be avoided. 

George had talked us out of leaving his house for now. He wanted as much time as Justin would give him. And Justin commented that, with the size of the house, at least if he needed to he could find a place to go to be alone if it got to be too much. I stayed because where Justin goes I plan to be and because George needed us to support him while Virginia and George Jr tried to dig up anything they could to discredit him, both in public and business. 

Ron Peterson proved once again that I had misjudged him when he made sure anyone who followed Virginia’s lead, could end their association with Ron and his powerful friends. Nancy, for the first time, seemed to understand Ron wouldn’t tolerate her either if she didn’t support both their daughters. He proudly talked about his grandson to anyone in their circle, while Nancy and Lynette knew how shaky their ground was if they didn’t follow his lead. For the first time, they invited Mel and Gus to a family dinner, which Lindsay refused, saying she was too busy working, and sitting around having tea wasn’t what she saw as a job. Cynthia and Lindsay went to the business first to make sure Kinnetik and the company fit. It was one thing I explained, while I wanted us to be successful, I also didn’t want clients who would end up afraid to take risks by playing it safe. I’d had enough of that with Ryder.

Jennifer started spending more time talking to me, trying not to push Justin when he wasn’t ready for anything. Molly on the other hand, took time to get to know everyone, while Justin couldn’t seem to say no to her. She spent half her time asking Hunter and Justin to explain what they were trying to do and helping when she could while being told by Hunter about Justin. Justin rolled his eyes when Hunter and Molly seemed to hero worship him, but he just let them talk away while working on coding and graphics when Hunter got stuck. The only time Justin wouldn’t let anyone follow him was when Blake showed up and the two of them locked themselves away. Ted, like me, didn’t ask what they were doing.

“I feel like I’m doing something wrong.” Jen says, dragging me out of my thoughts.

“He’s trying to figure everything out, and for him right now the people still missing takes precedence in his mind,” I tell her. Not wanting to tell her Justin was still having a hard time with the fact she gave him up.

“I can’t get over the idea of Justin near those people, and what they could have done to him. I thought that by letting him go, he’d never deal with people like Virginia again.” She tells me.

“Julian saw how valuable Justin was, all Virginia saw was a problem.” I tell her.

“Too bad she didn’t realize her actions would end up doing much worse to her reputation than our grandson’s birth,” George commented. 

And that was the only reason Julian protected Justin from Gary and Carter. Justin was giving him people to manipulate into doing anything Julian couldn’t do himself. Justin no longer blamed himself, since, as things were coming out, the people had other secrets that had nothing to do with what Justin had brought to light. It wasn’t the hackers, but the people Justin and Blake caught together, that interested Julian. Julian had an inside guy at the FBI, who would feed him names as they were facing prosecution, and Julian would make sure to hire people to minimize the punishment. Julian fed that bit, saying he would give them the guy in exchange for a deal. Then explained what happened once he got the names, including other things Hill could prosecute them for. Excusing himself because they found out nothing came for free and landed in Julian’s prison. At first, they stuck to their fear of Julian staying free, but as the charges racked up, and the proof became undeniable, Julian’s lawyers no longer looked as confident as they did with the IRS. Which led them to convince Julian to cut off funds to locate Carter Yates, hoping somehow they’d convince the FBI Julian was a victim himself of his older brother. All we saw was them trying anything to save the client that paid the bills for them. Carter managed to get into Canada with plans to leave the country. But he stayed when he contacted a few clients only to find out they were all being detained when they came to end the Yates family. He didn’t even try to fight being taken in since there were still others out there who hadn’t been caught yet.

“Everyday something new comes out, like dominos falling.” Ted commented.

“Each one of them did it to themselves.” Justin tells us, as Blake nodded and sat with Ted.

“What have you been doing?” I ask when Justin and Blake both seemed a little too happy.

“Making sure Hill and Caraway don’t have to spend time finding out who gave Julian the information. Which was what Justin had me do.” Blake tells us.

“They had enough on their plate as it is.” Justin told him.

“What were you doing?” Jennifer asked.

Justin slumped down on the sofa next to me. Jennifer tried to hide her disappointment when he didn’t answer her at first.

“I wanted to try to make it so Hunter wouldn’t have to go back to his mother. She hasn’t even noticed he’s missing, but if she does he shouldn’t have to go back.” Justin tells her.

“How old is he?” Jennifer asks.

“Seventeen right now.” Justin answered.

“If he can support himself, he wouldn’t have to go back. Although he needs to get back in school, if she tried to fight for him. That way he can show he’s responsible.” Jennifer suggested.

“I’m working at the supporting himself, hopefully I’ll hear back from a guy.” Justin tells us.

“Not someone you met through Julian?” I asked.

“No. Someone who Blake knows through his real job.” He tells me.

“Who only returned my call when I told him the White Rabbit wanted to talk to him.” Blake teases.

“It’s not like he wouldn’t have if you told him who you are.” Justin blew him off.

“I could talk to a judge I know and make sure of any requirements Hunter would have to meet.” Jennifer offered, as George didn’t allow her a chance to help her child.

“I can… Okay, if you want.” Justin tells her, giving her a chance, when he likely already had the information.

“Okay… I should get out of everyone’s hair anyway, since I need to show a house.” Jennifer told him.

“Maybe… you could help Brian too.” Justin tells her.

“I really don’t know anything about advertising.” She tells him, smiling at him.

“You could help him find a location for his business.” Justin tells her.

“It would help. Since right now we’re doing it all from here.” I tell her.

“Let me know what kind of specifications you need.” Jennifer told me, getting up to leave.

“Molly can hang out here and when you're done... “ Justin said, lost at where to go next.

“You can come back and have dinner with us. While we wait for news.” George tells her.

“I’d like that a lot.” Jennifer tells them.

Jennifer moved to go, without trying to do anything Justin wouldn’t be comfortable with. Justin took a second, but got up and let her hug him, before telling her he’d walk her to her car. I watched out the window with George as Justin awkwardly help Jennifer into the car, and walked back as she was still sitting there watching him. I knew he was trying and didn’t need us pushing him any more. Justin came back in but didn’t come back to where we were.

George looked saddened at how hard this was for them. “She’s still being punished for my family’s mistakes.” 

I debated what might help for a second before calling and asking the person to help Justin with this.

JUSTIN

I kept hearing George’s words, not liking how it made me sound. I couldn’t help the way I felt about it all. Even hearing everything and knowing she was in a situation where she felt trapped, it didn’t take the feeling away that I was the one that was sacrificed. It wasn’t logical at all, but logic didn’t matter right at this moment. This was why I never tried to think about what ifs, because my life wasn’t some tragedy. I had people who fought with me, while she went on with her life. I wasn’t angry that she went on, just that I was left behind. Shit, this is why I didn’t want anything to do with it.

“Hey, sorry I haven’t been around.” Michael said as he came into the pool area I was hiding in.

“Nothing’s really going on anyway.” I told him.

“It doesn’t mean I can’t want to be here, even if there’s nothing to do. Everything okay with you?” Michael asked.

“As okay as it can be.” I tell him.

“How you dealing with the instant family you’ve now got?” Michael asked.

“I want to be okay with it, but how do I when I don’t really know them… her. For some reason, I can deal with Molly, but not my… mom.” Justin tells him, not sure why he did.

“It’s hard growing up believing one thing, and being happy with it, only to find out your life wasn’t the one you knew.” Michael agreed. “Ma told me all these stories about my father who died a war hero, and maybe that’s why I spent so much of my life living in comics. I couldn’t have my father but I could pretend he was one of the comic heros.”

“What happened?” Justin asked.

“I found out my father was really a drag queen and my mother never told him I existed. I got angry at her because I had a father, yet she let me believe a guy she found in an article was my father. Instead of admitting the truth she kept lying to me about it. She became every villain in my comics because I lived without a father who could have been there for me. She was my mother and she lied because she thought she did the best for me, by not involving my father.” Michael told me.

“You two seem okay now.” I mentioned.

“Because I got my head out of ass and realized my father wasn’t going to be the father I thought she denied me. She knew he’d be miserable staying because it wasn’t the life he wanted or the life she wanted me to deal with. Something he pretty much told me too, before telling me how lucky it was that my mother loved me as much as she does.” He tells me.

“She didn’t give you away.” I tell him.

“Instead she gave up all the things she wanted in order to do what she could for me. Which isn’t the same, but she also didn’t have assholes threatening to put her in jail for keeping me either. My mother just lost her family, your mother would have lost everything, including you because she had no one to help her, like my mother did.” Michael tells me.

“Did you ever have a relationship with your father?” I asked, thinking about what he said.

“I didn’t need one anymore, because I had a mother who did everything she thought was right to protect me.” Michael tells me.

“It’s hard to see it that way, and the idea she wanted my father still bothers me.” I tell him.

“My father was a drag queen waiting to come out. Sometimes attraction doesn’t make any sense.” Michael laughed.

BRIAN

Molly waited until she could find me alone. Because for some reason she thought, between the two of us, we could fix everything. Justin went with Hill and Caraway when they ran into a problem with Julian’s laptop, and figured out Justin had planted the virus to cover what he did. She was everything Justin could have been, and it was why I think Justin had an easier time dealing with her. For me, she was the kind of sister I wished I’d had growing up. Which made me want her in our lives, but she was also easy to fall in love with.

“Do you think it’s me, seeing everything he never had?” Molly asked.

“Justin isn’t like that. If you’d had a bad life, your mother wouldn’t even be allowed here. I think seeing that you had a good life is what’s making him try.” I tell her.

“It’s just weird you know, all my life I sort of imagined him differently.” Molly tells me.

“All his life he didn’t know how to deal with people, now he’s being overloaded with a family he didn’t ever think he would have. He needs time to understand everything. He told me once the reason people thought he was strange was that when people would ask him something he never knew how to answer them. He spent his life being expected to answer to an equation. No one cared if he didn’t understand basic social skills, because what he could do was all they cared about. He didn’t understand questions where the answer didn’t matter. If someone asked him how his day was, Justin’s mind would run, trying to understand why they were asking him, not realizing they really weren’t interested in more than ‘great’ or some other short answer. Justin needs the time to know this is right for him, as well as for you and your mother. He doesn’t want to pretend everything is perfect, because it’s not true.” I tell her.

“Hunter said he thinks Justin doesn’t want what he’s been doing to hurt us.” Molly tells me.

“It could, and that’s why he’s doing what he can right now to make sure it doesn’t. Even if he won’t acknowledge that’s the reason he’s doing it.” I tell her.

“I feel sort of bad because Justin’s life wasn’t like mine. But then if it was, what would have happened to the people he pretty much saved, even if he doesn’t feel that way. He’s amazing in a way we all wish we were, and he doesn’t want the credit. What I imagined about him isn’t anywhere close to how great he really is.” Molly tells me.

“He doesn’t want credit, or to be seen as a hero. He fixes the things he can for people who didn’t deserve what happened to them.” I tell her.

“I want to fix it so he can have my mom be the mother she waited all his life to be.” Molly tells me.

“You do that by showing him how great you are. I know for me, I see a sister I wish I’d had.” I tell her.

“I’m the sister you can have because you love my brother. I also know you're really the only person he trusts completely. Which leads me to another question. What are your intentions toward my brother, young man?” Molly asks, giggling.

“My intentions are to make sure your brother never believes being alone was better for either of us. I also intend to let your brother find his way with Jennifer, knowing I’m there to support him no matter what he decides.” I tell her.

“Meanwhile I’ll do everything I can to make sure he wants to decide to take a chance on us,” Molly tells me.

HILL

I wasn’t happy when my boss demanded to see Justin and Blake. He hadn’t been happy when he was forced to keep Caraway and me on this case, all because some hacker ordered it. I’d never liked Kevin Finn because he was an asshole, more concerned with politics than justice. He pushed to keep Julian out of this, not because he was protecting Julian but because he knew if this blew up in our faces, his aspirations were in the toilet since he headed our department. I also knew he thought he could dress down Justin since he believed what he read. Hell, we all did, but what we didn’t understand was Justin could and would hold his own when he knew he was right. I get why Finn was angry, but Blake and Justin only pointed out the truth, although they could have left me out of it. 

“Let me understand exactly why you felt the need to go over my head with information when it was agreed that both of you reported to Hill and Caraway, who would then in turn report to me.” Finn said through gritted teeth staring down both Justin and Blake.

“Was that a question?” Blake asked Justin, completely ignoring Finn.

“No,” Justin answered Blake.

“Then let me rephrase it. Why did my boss get an email that should have gone to Hill or Caraway?” Finn asked.

“Because it called into question why you gave a excellent rating to an agent who you trusted with things above his pay grade. Something neither Caraway or I, as your subordinates, were the right people to go to with.” I told him.

“Did you know?” Finn asked, focusing his anger at me.

“Not until you threw the email in front of us.” I told him.

“Because we didn’t feel the need to air your laundry to Hill and Caraway. What you did was your choice. We didn’t do this to make you look bad, but because the agent shouldn’t still have access, and while I’m sure you want to do the right thing, the right thing also called into question your judgment. I also felt Hill and Caraway had enough on their plates without having to add trying to find someone we could.” Justin told him.

“I don’t like the fact that you think because the cyber crimes division thinks you’re a hero, you break laws without consequences,” Finn told him.

“You're right, but I don’t gain from it. And I also make sure what they get can be used to catch the people. I’m not limited in the way you are, and if you need to arrest me, do it.” Justin tells him.

“He won’t because his hands are tied.” Blake told Justin.

“We did limit his access for you, while you investigated. Why you shared your password is beyond us.” Blake added, like Finn should thank them.

“OUT!” Finn yelled.

“Is he pissed about the thing about you?” Blake asked after the door slammed behind us.

“While I thank you for believing in my ability, I really didn’t need you to put it in bullet points,” I tell Blake.

“I added the part about how you were wrong about Justin, it wasn’t all good ” Blake tells me.

“Are we done?” Justin asks.

“In a minute, I wanted to talk to you.” I tell him, taking him to my office.

“Is there a problem with Julian?” Justin asks, sitting down.

“He asked to see you, but I denied the request. He knows he’s lost and seeing you won’t save him.” I tell him.

“If he’ll tell us how to find the kids, then I’ll see him.” Justin tells me.

“He won’t, because we won’t give him a deal,” I tell him.

“But… they should be more important.” Justin tells me.

“I need you to understand you can’t breathe a word about what I’m about to tell you. Ben asked me to wait because he didn’t want you to make yourself a target, not that you didn’t anyway with what you did.” I tell him.

“I didn’t want Julian or Carter to get away.” Justin tells me.

“I know son, but sometimes you have to let others be the heroes,” I tell him.

“You won’t tell me if I do anything. Is what you're really saying?” Justin asks.

“It’s too late even if you wanted to, but I want you to know he did the best he could. There were kids who we were too late to save. Which isn’t your fault.” I tell him.

“Ben found them?” Justin asked.

“His team found three we can link to Pittsburgh. But it wasn’t limited to Pittsburgh, and not all of them are going to found. It’s not fair, but as we dig we’ll keep trying to bring them home. It’s time for you to let us do our jobs.” I tell him.

“What happens to them?” Justin asks.

“Your grandfather needs to tell you that, since he and his friends set up a trust to make sure they get as much help as they need.” I tell him.

“Do you need me to help you?” Justin asks.

“As long as while you do it, you don’t let life pass you by the way I have. Make all the people that watched you see that you were more than the boy who didn’t talk.” I tell him.

“I’m going to ask Brian to marry me one day… and figure out how to let my mother in my life.” He tells me.

“It sounds like you’ve already started,” I tell him.

“And I’d like to keep you too… I think we’ve both been alone too long.” Justin told me, walking out.

“Me too, son.” I thought. 

JUSTIN

With everything out of my hands that Hill was asking of me, I called my mom and asked her to meet me at the diner, away from everyone. It couldn’t have been easy watching me around George, even if he was trying to fix the things that were broken. He couldn’t fix that what she did with me broke her. And I couldn’t fix her with keystrokes, the way I spent my life trying to fix things for others. Deb ran over giving me a hug, something my mother watching hadn’t been allowed to give me.

“She only knows the baby she carried and the newborn she spent years missing. Give both of you a chance to start from there. Every day that separates you they win. Don’t let them, any more than I let my family. I think she could use the kind of people you found in her life too.” Deb whispers to me.

It was one way I hadn’t looked at things with all my confusion about everything. I never had anything tangible to show I’d lost anything, other than a teddy bear that ended up out of my sight. She had the memories she couldn’t lock away, and the pain of living with what her decisions did, not just to me but to her mother. If I meant what I said to Hill, then I needed to set aside the reasons I managed to use to keep her at a distance. I needed to let Jennifer start from here, and see if I liked the Jennifer she is, not the Jennifer she was.

“I didn’t know what you liked to eat, but Deb seems to,” Jennifer said, rearranging the table.

“When Ben was taking care of me… he stopped trying. He said it was easier just to go by trial and error… I ended up eating things I’m still not sure what they were.” I tell her.

“Ben’s a new name.” She mentions.

“He became a friend… when I figured out he really was.” I tell her.

“How does Brian feel about Ben?” she asks.

“At first he didn’t like him much, but that was my fault... My focus would override everything from sleep to eating. Most of my life people didn’t stop me. Brian won’t let me do that, after seeing it the first time. Ben tried, but gave up when nothing worked with me.” I tell her.

“What about all the friends I’ve met?” She asks.

“They weren’t around before Brian… I didn’t let people in my life. Brian’s friends kind of take over.” I tell her.

“I did that for a long time. Not letting anyone close to me. My mother finally sat me down and asked me if I was going to let my life pass me by. She told me to be a mother that you could be proud of one day, not a spinster with ten cats.” She laughs.

“She wasn’t upset about what happened?” I ask.

“She blamed herself for a lot of it. Like she had any power over the hormones and beliefs of a teenage girl who wanted to be loved.” She tells me.

“What made him the one?” I ask.

“He wasn’t. It was just a fantasy he wove that I wanted to believe. My mother never wanted me to throw away my chances in life the way she did and protected me too much. She didn’t want me to end up like all the others where we lived. Because she did it and knew what raising me alone was like. When I started staying at the Shickel home after school I ended up seeing things I thought were only in fairy tales. We struggled to eat, but there they threw away food as if it was nothing. Parties were thrown with no expense spared, and the heir was charming and witty to everyone. It was a disaster waiting to happen because I was still a silly girl who thought the stories could be real. George was a dear sweet man who treated me kindly, so in my head, the son was just misunderstood. Looking back now, he was really just a pitiful jackass who used that to spin my head to his advantage.” She tells me, laughing when I did.

“He still is,” I tell her.

“If he comes near you, then I’ll kick him in the balls again.” She tells me, meaning it.

“I’m always up for kicking balls, let me know if you want help,” Deb tells her, putting a piling plate of food in front of me. “This one is going to start coming to my house so I can really feed him,” Deb said kissing my head. 

“I might need a couple of people to help me eat this,” I said absentmindedly.

BRIAN

Blake wasn’t amused when he returned. Saying something about Finn and wondering how idiots still had a job, was what all six of us could make out. George asked to talk to us when Ron had called him to give him the news.

“I git news that some of the kids have been found. But you know as well as I do they’ll get shuffled about until the government can say we tried, then they’re back to where they started. I can’t touch Carter but I can help give them a better chance at whatever form of a normal life they can live after something like this happening to them.” George said, interrupting Blake.

“Count me in if they need help with withdrawal, or just need someone to lean on,” Blake tells him.

“Are they going to be brought to Pittsburgh?” Emmett asked.

“The ones that want to will, others will be placed as they want,” George tells them.

“Hopefully the place will be like Liberty House. The patients appreciated feeling like they were at home and not in a hospital.” Michael mused.

“Promise you won’t think less of me for this, but there was a bit of revenge behind it,” George told us, as Justin and Jennifer came in.

“Everything good?” I asked as Justin sat with me.

“Getting there.” Justin shrugged, as everyone’s attention was on George.

“Revenge is good since someone promised we had to be good for now.” Blake teased, and Justin rolled his eyes.

Everyone in the room saw the playfulness versus Justin’s usual stiltedness, but it was coming slowly along. And there was nothing but letting Justin go at his pace I wanted.

“I didn’t see a reason for my other house to sit empty when it would fit the requirements and had enough places that they wouldn’t feel closed or locked in if they needed to get away. The security will have to be changed, to ensure their safety. And I’d like Emmett to help change the house so that for once it’s a home instead of the prison it felt like for me. I was hoping maybe Justin would like to help teach them skills that won’t require them to deal with outsiders until they feel like they can.” George told them.

“Deb would love to help too. She took all of us in when we needed it and gave us what our families didn’t,” Emmett tells him.

“How did they find them?” Michael asked.

“It’s what Ben was doing, and now Hill is going to kill me.” Justin moaned.

“Is he back?” Michael asked, trying not to sound excited.

“I don’t know, Hill didn’t tell me that,” Justin told him.

“I wonder how Virginia is going to feel losing everything?” Jennifer asked.

“As if it’s not her fault. But then she never was one who saw anything as right unless it was the way she wanted it to be,” George told her.

“Do any of us really care?” Ted asked looking around.

“If we did, everything she did she won at. Or believes it’s about her or her son… All she did was give us a fresh start together,” Justin said softly to us.

EMMETT

I looked around at the group that was expanding and changing around us. It seems like it just happened, and yet it’s been over a year of happiness, heartbreak, and healing for all of us. I watched as Gus toddled between everyone. Deb ordered all of us here to witness the end of the nightmare we were still trying to help people through. We couldn’t wave the magic Liberty family wand and erase the bad, but we managed to use what Deb and Vic had taught us over the years. 

George, Ron, and their very high placed friends took up the case that we all started and expanded it. The houses they were opening in city after city became safe havens for children regardless of the reason they needed it. The victims of the Yates were being helped, but they still felt like it wasn’t enough, because there were other people out there waiting in the wings. The problem wasn’t the evil shits out there, it was the lie they offered to the kids who badly needed someone to care that they existed. Hunter told George that if it wasn’t for Justin, he could have just as easily fallen into the trap.

Hunter had lived with his worthless mother and dealt with one shitty situation after another, yet he kept going because he’d seen a world where he didn’t have to become what everyone expected. Through Justin he’d found a way out and grabbed on to it with both hands, never expecting to meet the man who started it for him. Hunter pointed out that in a lot of cases the kids who do end up on the streets likely had hopes and dreams. Their determination to survive became the only thing they had. George thought over what Hunter said and wanted to help before the kids ended up in situations like the survivors. 

Of course, I loved watching Virginia and George Jr’s reaction to the money they loved being used to help the people they always thought were beneath them. Virginia wasn’t left penniless, that wasn’t George’s way of dealing with things. Instead, she was upper middle class now, but no longer invited to the functions she once reigned over. Instead, the others looked at her as a warning of how easily it was to fall from the upper stratosphere. Virginia no longer had servants to do her whims, and found that without George’s generosity she also had to live on a budget with the spoiled son she’d raised. George Jr was far from poor before his divorce, but found out after trying to fight her, that lawyers cost more when Dad wasn’t footing the bill. He ended up having to live with his mother in her townhouse that she could barely afford. George hadn’t been surprised when Virginia’s brother showed up at his door, demanding to know why he’d ended the agreement with Virginia not to embarrass the family with his secret. When Talbot met Justin I was surprised at his reaction, because his anger wasn’t directed at George but at his sister and nephew for their actions. Apparently, Virginia and George Jr didn’t get family loyalty the way Talbot and George did. After Talbot left, having asked Justin to consider meeting his family who would welcome him, he set out to make sure his sister found out what it was like to be cast out the way Justin had been. Virginia’s family closed ranks, leaving her to live off the small inheritance she and George Jr were given years ago. She was no longer welcome to stay in their homes and live off them the way she did with George. She was now living her nightmare with her son and ended up losing everything she loved. George made sure the write up on the center was front page news, along with the money raised from auctioning off the high priced items that Virginia coveted.

I came out of my thoughts about George’s little piece of revenge on Virginia and George Jr when Teddy handed me a cosmo and then went off to find his better half. I’d never been so happy as I was watching the two of them. I can honestly say I didn’t think Blake could turn his life around the way he did. It wasn’t just the drugs that made me wary of Blake when we met, it was that I didn’t want Teddy’s life to be the one shouldering everything to keep Blake. Instead, Blake, who at the time pissed me off for leaving the rehab, knew he needed to fix himself, not lean on Teddy. Blake came back to us sure of himself and his place in the world, and now they were equals. Teddy will tell you Blake is like Robin to Justin’s Batman, but like all of us, we can see he wanted his life to mean something and found it in helping any way he could. 

I smiled when I saw Deb flustered at whatever Carl said to her. She didn’t know what to think of the attention Carl was giving her. We all laugh at how she hasn’t figured out he’s interested. He decided he was ready to live now that his city had been cleaned up. Carl didn’t let Stockwell weasel his way out of the shit he’d been in the middle of, Stockwell might have made it his mission to clean up the streets, but what he allowed to happen wasn’t something he planned. He resigned in disgrace after there was no way to cover up his part in it. Deb ended up showing up at the precinct with enough food to feed anyone who was there, as her thanks for them helping her boys. Carl took one look at his goddess and decided he was going to win her. So far it’s working, since Ben pretty much has an open invitation to Deb’s house and brings Carl to everything, we all are rooting for them. Okay, so Michael was a bit freaked out that his mother was dating, and the fact that his mother might have a sex life, but he’s beginning to accept it.

Michael, on the other hand, found a real hero in Ben. We got a headache having to listen to how great Ben was. While we’re all happy for both of them, we really didn’t want to hear that much. Ben didn’t want to be Michael’s hero, he wanted a life outside the world he’d lived in for so long. While Michael wasn’t exactly calm and rational, his brand of drama was perfect for Ben. What Ben didn’t understand was the hero wasn’t just about daring deeds or exciting adventures. For Michael, it was that Ben would be strong enough to put up with him. It was also Michael letting go of his secret wish he once had for Brian to be his.

Lindsay had let go of the same thing when she found Mel. Instead, she kept Brian as her family when she didn’t have one that accepted her, flaws and all. While she let go of her mother, her father wouldn’t let go of her. Now her mother and sister know that if Lindsay, Mel, and Gus aren’t welcome, he and his money won’t be there to fund whatever wedding Lynette has. Nancy was finding herself seeing what Virginia saw in her future if she didn’t accept her daughter, while Lindsay went on with her life, not letting it affect her. 

Jennifer laughed at something Justin said to her and looked over at Hall who’d been showing up at our gatherings lately. Hall we all liked, but more because he was here because he wanted to tell Justin the news we’d all waited for. Justin kept inviting him to things saying Hall was someone he didn’t want to let go of, which of course meant we all kept him because even with Justin opening more and more to the world, he still needs time when dealing with new people. I think Justin just wants everyone to start living the way he is trying to. She helped him with Hunter, who at seventeen was emancipated from his mother since the game he was working on was sold to the friend Blake and Justin knew. Jennifer opened up her home to Hunter, loving Hunter for the great kid he is, not doing it to make up for not having Justin in her life. Justin and Jennifer are more friends than parent and child, and like friends, he wants her to be happy again. Molly and Hunter help him by making sure Jennifer knows they like Hall too.

Brian got up and went to Justin, dragging him off to sit with him, and all of us smiled at how they easily seem to get lost with themselves. For two people who spent their lives separating themselves from others, they had each found the one person who made them whole and grabbed on to each other. Brian was busy as hell with his new company, but he didn’t let a day go by without Justin. Instead, he let go of micromanaging the team of Lindsay, Cynthia, and Ted, and let them spread their wings while he made sure Justin didn’t try to take over the world from his computers. All of us helped, but Brian was the one Justin listened to, while Justin gave Brian a safe place to give his heart to. They still find ways to be alone together in a crowd, even when we were here to celebrate the victory they fought together to achieve. Looking around Woody’s, where Deb arranged for us all to watch the ending of an empire made off of others suffering, was merriment and happiness to see it collapses.  

Julian wasn’t getting any breaks, and Mel made sure of it. They filed lawsuit after lawsuit for the survivors, and the untouchables were taking care of the businesses that suffered under the Yates umbrella. If they were innocent, the companies continued to prosper under their wings. No one wanted to see people all over the world lose everything because of Julian and Carter’s screwed up family. Even Carter’s wife, who had been his father’s mistress had been happy to see the end of the family. She had no interest in being tarnished by her link to her son or ex-husband. Instead, she managed to sell her shares to Ron and leave them all behind. I had to wonder what it was like for her to raise her husband’s brother, but maybe the money was worth it to her. 

I was about to order another drink when Fred came through the door. I wanted George to finally find out what real love was, and Fred took a lot of convincing. Justin and I hounded him until he at least agreed to see George again. He didn’t understand why I wanted to help, but I explained that my relationship with George was one of two lonely people who were together but still waiting for the loves of their lives to show up. George looked up and his eyes locked on Fred, this time he didn’t shy away from showing he wasn’t going to let him get away again and I raised my empty glass to him to give him my blessing, only to put it down when the bartender handed me a new one.

“The gentleman on the other side of the bar sent that to you.” The bartender whispered, moving out of my way so I could see who sent it.

I was kind of not sure what to think of the big brawny man who didn’t quite ping on my gaydar. He got up and walked over, completely sure of himself and my welcome. Granted, beefy tops and Emmett make Emmett one happy boy, but...

“Hi, I thought you could use a drink, and me, I’m Drew.” He said sitting down.

I rolled my eyes at the crappy pickup line and laughed when all my friends hooted and hollered for him to get me. George raised his glass, nodding, and I let go and decided to see if Drew might be right.

Deb ran to the bar and turned up the tv’s before I could flirt. All of us stopped to watch the men who ruined so many lives being taken out of the federal building in handcuffs, and the reporter announcing they wouldn’t ever see the outside of a prison again. Ron kissed Lindsay’s cheek and picked up Gus to go when everyone erupted over seeing justice triumph over the evil of the world. Deb grabbed Carl and danced while we all joined in. We all started filing out into the street, even the people that didn’t know why we were celebrating our victory.

“May I have this dance?” Drew asked before grabbing me and dancing in the street among all the others, although it felt like we were alone. 

JUSTIN

Brian and I waited until everyone went outside to slip away. Everyone seemed to get that while I was glad it was over, I really wanted to be alone with Brian. As we walk through everyone, I watch my grandfather looking truly happy in the arms of Fred, my mother letting Hall dance with her, and the beginnings of new lives for everyone. It was time for me to continue to live like I told Hall. I wanted to do this right, because Brian deserved so much for loving me when he could have avoided what came after we met. 

He didn’t ask where we were going, because he knew, since he gave it to me. We got to the roof, where my sister and Hunter had set up everything the way I asked. It wasn’t fancy, just a little wine, food, and the blanket Brian used the first time we came up here. We both sat down, letting the quiet around us work it’s magic, drinking a toast to the end of the journey we started on.

“Now that the world is waiting for you, what are your plans Mr Taylor?” Brian asked.

“I only have one,” I tell him.

“Which is?” Brian asks.

“Seeing what my life will be like not being alone, but with you in it,” I tell him.