Chapter 1

Brian woke up to whimpering again.  He gathered Justin in his arms and stroked his cheek. "It's OK, Sunshine.  You're alright, Baby." He continued this until Justin quieted down and curled up against him.  Poor Justin. It was happening less often but Brian still worried about him. It had been two months since the shooting. A former colleague of Justin, Dillon, had become obsessed with him. At the opening of Brian's new office, Kinnetik NYC , Dillon had shown up with a gun.  As Justin tried to talk him down, one of Brian's employees, Michelle, had been shot and killed.

At first the nightmares occurred nightly. Now it was a couple time as week. Justin didn't want any help but it still worried him. Five years ago, he could have never said this but he loved Justin Taylor more than his own life and he was scared to death when the stalker was free. Now he was just worried about how Justin was really handling the trauma.

When Brian was sure Justin was sleeping soundly, he went back to sleep.

At 7:00 am Brian's alarm was going off.  Justin reached over him and turned it off. He trailed his tongue down Brian's midsection all the way down to his belly button. He passed the bellybutton and headed for his cock. He gently gripped his penis and slid his mouth over the head.  Justin starts slowly but the pace picked up as Justin's own hardon had grown to maximum size. Justin felt Brian's hand slide between his ass cheeks and a finger slid into him. Brian slowly and steadily continued to move in and out first with one finger and then two.  He began to rotate and press farther in. A third finger slipped in and Justin audibly groaned. "What do you want, Sunshine? Another finger? My cock?" He rotated his fingers again inside of Justin.

Justin shuddered as Brian grazed his prostate. He let out another moan. Brian slipped a condom on and replaced his fingers with his cock.  He drove in as hard as leverage would allow. He grabbed Justin's hips and drove in a little harder with each thrust. Brian reached around and grabbed Justin's balls and squeezed just enough for him to shout out as he came.  Brian thrust 3 more times and then shuddered with his own relief. He collected Justin in his arms and kissed him. "You getting up with me or staying in bed for a while?"

" I think I am awake after that!" Together they headed for the shower.  As Brian scrubbed Justin's back he quietly brought up the dream. "It happened again last night. Do you remember anything?'

Justin shook his head and leaned back.  "No, Did I say anything that you could understand?"  

"I could only understand Michelle's name." He was fairly sure Justin remembered more but he wouldn't say anything.  

Justin washed Brian's back as they talked.  Brian turned into Justin's arms. "Just remember, you can always talk to me about it if you do remember."  He leaned over and kissed him. "I have to get to an appointment." And he was gone.

Justin stood under the pounding water for a couple more minutes. He couldn't get it out of his mind.  It was always the same. He was standing next to Dillon who was waving the gun around. And then Michelle was coming out of the store room and he tried to stop her. But she never stopped.  She always came out and Dillon always kills her. Justin's head dropped into his hands and the sobs shook his body.

Brian had appointments all day.  The office had really taken off. He focused on specialty accounts. Quality not quantity was his motto and it was working.  He had finally found a replacement for Michelle last week and so far, Sharon was doing well. He had 3 big accounts here in New York he was focusing on and there were a couple in Pittsburgh he would have to help with. He had another employee from Pittsburgh moving here to help him with the smaller accounts.  It was going to be a very busy few months for him. Daphne had picked up on the job quickly and it helped that she and Cynthia had known each other for years. It looked like the new office would be a success. He planned to focus on it for a couple years and then hoped he and Justin could settle back in Pittsburgh but it was Justin's time to shine. The world deserved to see his work.

Justin had pulled himself together and was now ready for his day. He had an appointment with his agent this morning.  He knew that they would be discussing a tour planned for his work. He was not really looking forward to the tour. He was hoping they would limit it to 4 cities.  Brian wouldn't be able to come with him because he was needed at the office and he hated to be apart too long.

Justin arrived at the Scott Gallery where his agent, Peter Scott, was located.  "Good morning, Justin. Punctual as always."

"Hey, Peter.  how's it going?"  The men shook hands and got comfortable.   

"I hope you are getting ready for travel. The tour is falling into place. I have a tentative schedule for you." Peter passed it across the desk to Justin.  

Justin looked down and saw a list, a long list of cities.  "Peter, I thought we talked about four cities. There are," Justin did a quick count, "A dozen listed here.  You have 6 months' worth of dates here."

"I know it is longer than we talked about but you are in demand.  Everyone wants your work, especially "The Pain". I told a couple of these stops you may not be with the paintings.  But, Justin, this could make your career. I have never heard of someone your age having a tour this large."

"I know, Peter, but 6 months?"

"You will have time to come home in between some of the stops.  We will hire an assistant for you that can take care of all the set ups, etc. You should be able to come home at least every two weeks for a couple days.  We are setting up the rest of your career here."

"And what do you mean I need an assistant.  I don't think I really want someone...." Justin physically had to put his hands on his legs so Peter didn't see them shaking. Dillon had been hired as an assistant.   

"Justin, are you OK?  You just turned a lovely shade of gray." He smiled at the younger man.

"Um, ya, I'm fine.  I just didn't eat breakfast," That was true.  After the shower this morning he didn't feel much like eating. " I am not sure about the assistant.  Do you think I really need one? I am used to doing things myself."

"Trust me, you are going to want someone along.  After the setting up the show a couple times you will want to be able to turn it over to someone else.  We have a list of several interns that would jump at the chance to tour with you."

"I don't want to sound like an alarmist but you do know what happened when I hired an assistant last time."

Peter nodded.  "I guess I would hesitate if that had happened to me but you do need this help.  We can have background checks done. You can spend time with them. Whatever you need to do to feel comfortable with them."

"I need to talk to Brian before I commit to all this.  The length is not something I expected. When will I work on new projects?"

"Another reason you need an assistant."

They went over several more details before Justin left with itinerary in hand and a stomach that was still churning. He went to his studio and started working on a new project.  There was one thing to be said about his agitated state. His work was amazing.

He wasn't sure how long he had been there but someone was pounding on the door.  He looked up and checked the security camera that had been installed. It was Brian.  Must be something wrong with the camera though. Everything looked dark. He pushed the lock release and he could hear Brian running up the stairs. Justin went to unlock the door for him. That's when he realized it was dark in the building too.

Brian came up the last steps and grabbed Justin in a death grip.  "You're alright! Thank God you are alright. You are alright aren't you?"

Justin looked up perplexed. "What's the matter?"

Brian pushed him to arm's length and now looked angry.  "What's the matter? You didn't come home. I called and you didn't answer.  And it was 7 and then it was 8 and you didn't answer your fucking phone!" He then pulled him close again and just held him. His voice was low and soft. "You scared the hell out of me."

" I'm sorry, Baby. What time is it?"

"It's almost 10:00." Justin just looked at him open mouthed. "You had no idea, did you."

"I got here around 1:00 and started working on a painting. I was thinking it was like 5:00."

Brian was now relaxing a bit. "Well, let me see this masterpiece.  That is if I may."

"Sure, I would like to see it myself. I honestly have no idea."

They went to the area he was working in and both Brian and Justin froze in their steps.

It was bold. It was dark. It was wild. It was inspired!

"Oh my god," Brian whispered.  He looked over at Justin, "What's wrong?"  He knew him so well. This painting was driven by something. It was then that he noticed Justin was shaking uncontrollably. Brian caught him just before he collapsed.

"Sunshine, Justin." Justin's eyes fluttered open. "Are you trying to shorten my life today." They were on the floor, Justin in Brian's arms.  "What is going on?"

"Can we just go home? I will tell you about it later."

"Let me grab some water for you.  Stay where you are." Brian pointed at him with emphasis. He grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and brought it back to where Justin was leaning against the wall. He took the bottle from him and grabbed Brian's hand with his free one.  He held to it tight. Justin took a couple big swallows of water and took a deep breath.

"I am fine, Brian.  I am ready to go." Using Brian's hand to balance he stood up. "I am good." He leaned forward and kissed Brian. "I am sorry I worried you."

Brian wrapped his arm snuggly around Justin's waist as they walked down the stairs and out to the street. "Should I get a taxi?"

"Seriously, I can walk.  I haven't eaten and I have been standing in the same place for 8 hours without moving.  That's all it was."

Brian wanted to tell him he was full of it but decided they didn't need to do that on the street with Justin in this condition. "What do you want to eat?  Pizza or Chinese? And don't tell me you aren't hungry."

"Pizza is fine."  

There was a shop right around the corner and while Justin stood outside Brian grabbed a pie with everything and they continued the walk home. Justin punched in the gate code and they walked into their courtyard.  

Dan came out of his house and walked over to them.  "Everything alright?"

Brian smiled and said, "Ya, my artist had just blocked out the world creating a masterpiece."  

"Glad to hear it. Catch you later." Dan walked back into his place.  He really was the perfect neighbor. Brian wasn't sure if they would have made it through the stalker incident without him.

Justin unlocked the door and walked in. Brian dropped the pizza on the coffee table and pointed to the couch, not giving Justin any options.  Brian grabbed water out of the fridge and some napkins of the counter. He joined Justin and opened the box. He was glad to see Justin grab a slice devour it.  Maybe he was just in the zone and painting but he bet something started this.

After his third piece he leaned back against the couch.

"Feeling better?" Brian leaned back next to him and drew him close.

Justin smiled, "I was starving and didn't even realize it."

"So you want to tell me why you didn't eat breakfast at least?" Justin always ate something before leaving the house, even if it was a banana.

"Well..."

"Come one Sunshine.  We have been honest for too long to stop now."

Justin nuzzled in closer. "I am sorry.  You're right. The dreams, I do remember them most of the time. They are usually the same but the last couple weeks they are becoming more vivid.  I keep thinking I could have done something. I know, I know, it wasn't my fault. I really do know that."

"Easier said than done." Brian hung onto him.  "So, what else is going on? I know you too well."

"It's the tour."

"I thought you were excited about it."

"I am but it has blown up.  Peter is now talking 6 months, 12 cities, and a hired assistant. I think that's what really hit got me.  It will be hard to be apart but we could survive that with visits. I don't know if I can deal with an assistant. How am I going to trust an assistant?"

Brian was glad to see Justin reach for another piece of pizza and eat the topping off of it. He did look much better. "We can find you the perfect assistant.  We can have Dan research your choices. If we need to we can send a guard with you. anything that will make you comfortable. He leaned in and kissed Justin with as much reassurance as he could. " I think it is time we head to bed.  In the morning we can talk to Dan and get his suggestions on how we can handle this.

Brian stood up and pulled Justin to his feet. "Come here." He enfolded Justin in his arms and pressed his lips first to Justin's forehead, then his cheek and finally he captured his lips. It was like he flipped a switch.  Justin couldn't get enough. He needed physical contact. He needed Brian anyway he could get him. And he meant NOW. It only took Justin seconds to get Brian's pants down. He took all of him in at once. He had Brian's undivided attention.  "Well, give the boy a little nourishment and he becomes a sex maniac. Oh god, that feels amazing!"

Justin dropped his own pants before he stood up. He got on his hands and knees on the sectional. "Now, Brian, take me now!" Brian quickly put on a condom and drove in with no hesitation. "I love you, Brian Kinney, don't ever doubt that." He let out a shout and nearly collapsed just as Brian joined him.  

They ended up in a heap on the couch.  "I don't want you to disappear on me again but, I got to say, you sure know how to make up for it. May I suggest we take this upstairs and maybe use a little polish this time."

In the bedroom they took their time.  Hands, lips, tongues, teeth, every inch of both bodies was fondled, licked, kissed. Every touch was meant for pure pleasure. They both went higher and higher until they reached the peak and took the ride down.   

They both slept soundly through the night.

Brian made it a slow morning.  They shared their morning shower and shaved side by side. Justin caught Brian looking over at him for a third time. "Brian, seriously, I don't think I grew a horn or a third eye over night so please quit staring at me.  I am fine. Yes, I had a rough day yesterday but the councilor told me to expect that. He also said if I felt like I could work it out for myself I probably could."

"Ok, Ok, I believe you. I texted Dan. He is coming for breakfast so we can talk about your tour."

"Guess I better get it started than.  No one wants to eat a breakfast you make." He threw some sausage in a pan and beat some eggs.  He sautéed some onions, mushrooms, and peppers and shredded some cheese. After flipping the sausage, he dropped bread in the toaster and poured the eggs in with the sautéed vegetable."

Brian sat by the counter drinking coffee.  Justin smiled over at him and said, "I hate to interrupt your coffee but grab the butter and jam and put bring it out to the patio.  Grab the juice too.

Justin started the broiler. He topped the eggs with cheese and put it under the broiler for a couple minutes. When he pulled it out the cheese was bubbly and the eggs had finished cooking. Justin put the dishes and the food on a serving tray and carried it out just as Dan walked up.  "Morning, Dan." He set the tray on the table and leaned over giving Dan a kiss in greeting. "Is Andre joining us?"

There was a noticeable shift to Dan's face.  "No, Andre will no longer be joining us, ever." Justin and Brian glanced at each other but knew it was not the time to ask questions.   

"Let me serve you breakfast." He cut the egg dish in quarters and served each eggs and sausage.  Brian poured coffee and juice. The toast was left for each to serve themselves.

"Brian, do you think you could share this man? He is an amazing cook."

"That isn't the only thing he is amazing at!" Justin leaned over and kissed Justin.

"I am afraid we need your help again." Brian and Justin explained the tour to Dan and the need for an assistant that they could trust.

"Let me see what I can come up with.  I will check around for you. "

When breakfast was finished Dan went back home to start some research.  Brian and Justin said goodbye at the gate. "I promise I wll be here by the time you get home today if you let me know what time that will be.

Brian leaned over and kissed Justin.  "I'll text you some time this afternoon with details. They turned and went opposite directions.

Chapter 2

It was 4:00 pm before Brian had a chance to call Justin.  He nearly text early in the day but he didn't want Justin to feel like he was checking up on him.  Brian knew the counselor had warned them things like this could occur for a while and this morning Justin seemed to have pulled himself together. And there was always that artist thing.  Brian had learned years ago Justin sometimes got so involved in what he was doing he forgot everything.

When Justin arrived at his studio he went straight to the painting he had done yesterday. He stood there and stared at it for several minutes.  The strokes and colors he had used had been instinctual at the time but looking at it now he 'felt' the painting. He felt his anxiety, his doubt, and his fear. He usually spent hours after he did a painting making small changes to get it just right.  He looked at this one and signed it. On the back he wrote, "FEAR".

Justin spent most of the day reviewing the schedule, wrapping his head around everything on those pages.  He had to admit there was definitely some excitement building. Talking to Dan this morning calmed some of his nerves, trusting him to be thorough and knowing Dan really cared about his safety.  He started planning painting groupings and thinking about a few he wanted to finish before the tour started. Two months were going to fly by and so much to do.

Justin checked his phone a couple times throughout the day expecting Brian to touch base with him but no texts had been missed.  It was later afternoon when his phone rang. He was surprised to see it was Brian, expecting only a text.

"Hey, Brian.  Don't tell me you have a dinner meeting?"  Usually if Brian called rather than texted it was because there was a change in plans.

"Ah, Sunshine, would I do that?"  He chuckled. "No, I just wanted to hear your voice.  Makes it easier to picture that smokin' hot body of yours."  

"Sure," Justin laughed. "You should be able to picture my body in total darkness."

"Oh, trust me, I do," There was a leer in his voice if that is possible. "But I don't have time for phone sex right now. What shall we do for dinner tonight? Do you want to eat in? Go out? Skip it and just live on 'protein'?"  

"I feel like cooking.  Do you mind?"

"I never mind eating what you make."

Justin chose to ignore the suggestiveness in Brian's voice. "What would you like? Chicken, seafood, beef?"

"I don't have a preference. Whatever you feel like making is fine with me. Soon enough I will be eating takeout most nights..."

"Or not eating at all!  I know you. I am going to have to make sure Dan helps take care of you or you will work yourself into the ground while I am gone.

With a note of seriousness Brian replied, "You don't know how nice it is to know someone cares. Love you, Sunshine."

"Love you, too.  What time should I expect you?"   

"I hope to make it by 6 but plan on eating at 7 just in case I am late.  If I am on time maybe we can hit the hot tub before eating, if you can leave the meal alone for a while."

"You make it home early and I promise I will make it worth your while." Justin said with that tone that drove Brian crazy.

"I'll see you at 6:00!" Brian hung up.

Justin cleaned up the loft and took a couple pictures of his new painting, forwarding them to Peter. Out of habit he checked the security camera to the area around the door.  He mumbled under his breath, "Dillon will not be out any time soon if at all. Relax!"

He slung his ever-present messenger bag over his shoulder and left for the short walk home. He stopped at the corner market that had excellent seafood.  He purchased shrimp, scallops, mussels, and some fresh vegetables he wanted to add as well some canned tomatoes. He was sure there was rice at the house.  He could throw this together and have it ready to finish in the oven when Brian arrived. He had everything ready by 5:45 so he decided he should call his mom. It had been a few days since he had touched base.  He wanted to tell her about the upcoming tour and assure her Dan was working on an assistant that was trusted and trained.

The phone rang several times and just as he was ready to hang up Jennifer picked up.  "Justin, how are you? It is so good to hear your voice." She said this every time they talked now.  He knew his mom worried especially since the shooting.

"Everything's good, Mom. That's why I am calling." He went on to tell her about the tour, the assistant, Dan help, and his new painting. As they were talking Brian walked in. He circled behind Justin and started kissing his neck while slipping his hands into Justin's pants. He started trying to wrap up the call. "Um, Mom, I need to go."

"Let me guess. Brian got home and has his tongue in your ear."  

Justin laughed as Brian said, "Hi, Jennifer." Having heard her comment. Good byes were said and Justin turned to face Brian putting his arms around his neck.

"Welcome home.  Will promising you sex get you home on time every day?" Leaning in, Justin's hands entwined with Brian's hair and their lips skittered over each other before locking together for a long, searching kiss. As the kiss continued Justin slipped Brian's jacket off his shoulders and folded it down with his hands. He tossed it toward one of the bar stools.  He pulled Brian's shirt out of his trousers and unbuttoned it.

"I think someone is a bit horny tonight"

Justin laughed, "Tonight? And it is a good thing I am since you are always ready to fuck. But right now aren't we heading out to the hot tub.  We do need to be back in here ready to eat by 7:30 at the latest or dinner will be done for."

They both finished shedding their clothes and strode across the yard naked to the hot tub. The water temperature was perfect and soon they were a mass of slippery arm and chests.  Under the water their legs rubbed against each other until Justin locked his around Brian's waist easing himself on to Brian's erection. Slowly they moved together as they both went higher and higher until they collapsed together. They were not through with each other.  Their mouths again found each other and their tongues entwined.

They heard someone clear his throat. "Excuse me guys.  I thought ….you seemed to be...oh hell, you fuck like rabbits.  I thought you were done when I walked over." All three of them started laughing.

"What can we do for you?" Brian asked pleasantly.

"That is probably not a good question who hasn't had sex in over a week and no prospects on the horizon."

"So, it is definitely a done deal with Andre?  I noticed he hadn't been around much lately." Justin commented.

"Well, since he moved in with someone else yesterday I would say it is done."

"That's rough.  Sorry." Instinctively Justin snuggled closer to Brian. "Why don't you come in and join us.  Well, join Brian for 10 minutes or so while I get dinner finished. There is plenty if you want to join us."

"I don't want to interrupt or barge in. It's obvious you two were in the, um, middle of something."

Brian started laughing, "As you so tactfully mentioned we fuck as often as rabbits."  He pulled Justin in for one more kiss and whispered a thanks to him.

As Justin got out Dan shed his clothes and climbed into the tub. He sat down leaned back and shut his eyes. Brian quietly asked, "You ok?

"Ya, I'm ok even if the guy broke my heart into a million pieces." Dan looked away and Brian could tell he wasn't as OK as he said.

This wasn't Brian's comfort zone.  Justin took care of the emotional stuff where others were concerned but he slid to Dan's side of the tub and put and arm loosely around his friend.  He didn't expect what happened next. Dan crumbled against him in mass of sobs. Brian looked past his friend willing Justin to come back out but no such luck.  He could see Justin gliding around the kitchen, probably singing to some music.

Dan composed himself quickly. "I'm sorry, Brian. I had no intention of falling apart. Guess I just needed to get it out of my system. I am ok now."

"I think it is about time for dinner.  You will join us, won't you?"

"I don't want to sour the mood." Dan said.

"Come on.  Eat and then head out so I can finish my previous task." Brian winked at Dan and they both laughed.

"If you insist. I actually may have something to talk to you about anyway. "

"Already?" Brian knew he was talking about Justin's assistant.

The men were drying off and dressing as they talked.

"Let's wait until dinner so I can tell you both at once." They finished dressing and headed to the house.

Justin saw them coming and started pulling food out of the oven. They had tossed salad and then steaming bowls of fish stew served over rice and crusty bread on the side to soak up the sauce of the stew.

Dan starting talking as they ate.  "I asked around today about finding you an assistant. I said I was looking for someone young with military experience and preferably someone who has knowledge of the art world. I was given 2 names.  Both seem like they would work well but one looks like a perfect fit to me. Of course, Justin, you need to meet both of them and see who you think will work best."

Brian and Justin looked at each other. "When can I meet them?  The sooner the better so whoever he is can start soon. There is a lot to do." Justin stated. "I first didn't want an assistant but now I can tell I will need one."

One of the men is available tomorrow.  The other will be available on Saturday. Does that work?"  Both Brian and Justin nodded. "I will email over their resumes. On that note I will leave as Brian made me promise."

Justin gave Dan a hug.  "Thanks, Dan, and remember we are always across the courtyard." Dan gave Justin a kiss. "Thank you. I will remember that."

Brian moved in and put a possessive hand on Justin's back.  Dan wasn't a threat but Brian didn't let anyone move in on HIS Justin.  He knew it was crazy considering how many men they had slept with but that was different.  One on one Justin was his alone.

Dan walked out as they waved.   

"Now where were we when Dan interrupted us?" Brian's hands went down Justin pants to grab his ass.

"That is all you can think of, I swear. But we have to clean up first.  You really don't want to leave that seafood sit out all night."

Brian ground his hips to Justin letting him know how much he needed him." He started kissing Justin's neck and nipping at his neck. "If we do this together we will be done in 10 minutes.  You take care of the cold stuff and I will put away the hot food. As soon as that is done," Justin grabbed Brian's crotch, "This can be done!"

Both men worked quickly and efficiently finishing in no time. They chased each other up the stairs and into the bedroom, clothes flying all directions as they dove into bed.

An hour later they lay in each other's arms. "Dan is really broke up about Andre.  He had a melt down after you left the hot tub." Brian pulled Justin to him. "I was trying to telepathically call you back out but it didn't work."  

"I know you don't believe it but you are really good at compassion.  I would be in therapy if it wasn't for you. You have a heart bigger than anyone I know."

"Justin, my heart reacts to you, your needs, your wants, your heart."

"Your heart reacts to lots of people but I will take it all for now."   

"I'll be right back." Justin jumped up and ran down the stairs.  A couple minutes later he came back upstairs with a couple pages in his hand He crawled back into bed next to Brian. "Here are the guys' resumes.  I wanted to look at the resumes together." Brian kept nibbling Justin's neck as Justin looked at the resumes. Justin swatted at him.

Brian knew Justin was serious about this so he looked over Justin's shoulder and read with Justin.  Both resumes showed outstanding men. It looked like either of them would do an excellent job but one of them stuck out.  Jarod was just out of the Marines after 4 years. Jarod's mother was an art teacher. He had grown up going to art museums all over the world.  Jarod was the guy unless there was an obvious personality conflict.

Brian took the papers out of Justin's hand. "With that decision made, what could we do?" In one swift move Brian' flipped Justin to his stomach. Ever so slowly Brian started at Justin's shoulder blades and ever so slowly he drug his tongue down Justin's spine.  Justin was having a hard time laying still. He flipped to his back, pulling Brian down as their mouths were joined. As Brian entered Justin, slowly his only thought was ow much he loved this man and this Jarod better be as good as he looked on paper.

The next afternoon Brian cleared his schedule to meet with Justin and Jarod.  He trusted Justin's decisions but he had to meet him himself.

They met at the studio rather than at the house.  They kept that location closely guarded after the Dillon incident. Jarod arrived right on time.  The bell rang and Justin and Brian looked at the security camera. There was an amazing specimen of a man standing there. At first glance he appeared to be about the same height as Brian but he probably had an additional 30 to 40 pounds of muscle on his frame. He had a mop of curly, blond hair and an amazingly deep tan from spending a couple years in a desert overseas.

The buzzer went again and Justin responded, "May I ask your name."  

"Hello, I'm Jarod Thomas."  

"Hi, Jarod, I will buzz you up." Justin smiled over at Brian.  "Well if you can't be with me it looks like I will have some eye candy to look at."

Brian tensed a bit.  He knew Justin was joking but seriously did he want Justin spending six months with this man?  

There was a knock on the door and Brian opened it.

"Mr. Kinney, I'm Jarod Thomas." He walked over to Justin. "It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Taylor. I have seen your work. Well, I have seen pictures of your work.  It is very impressive."

"You must really want this job to butter him up like that." Brian was being Brian.  He hadn't done his macho routine in a while but he was definitely posturing now.

"Ignore him, Jarod. Tell me something about you I should know."  

Jarod talked about growing up with an art teacher and about his love for the masters.  He also told Justin what he loved about the work he had seen of Justin's. After the conversation went on for some time  

Brian interrupted. "This is all great, guys, but, Jarod, I want to know how you will protect Justin if need be. That's what is most important."

"Mr. Kinney, I have lead several raids recovering kidnap victims.  I have guarded many high-risk diplomats that I can't name but I can tell you no harm came to any of them. And Mr. Kinney, if the two of you decide I am the right person for the job, I give you my word that if the situation arises, I will give my life for your partner."

Justin took Brian's hand and squeezed.  

After about another 30 minutes of getting to know each other Jarod shook Justin's hand and then Brian's. "I look forward to hearing from you." And he was gone.

"Brian, what did you think?"   

"He looks good on paper.  He interviews well. His credentials are impeccable.

"But?" Justin took Brian's hand.

"But....does he have to be so damn good looking?"  He looks like he could be in the movies. He looks like someone I would have worked really hard to take to bed. He also looks like he would do anything to save your life. I know he is the right person for the job.  I also know I am jealous as hell. Not that you will be with him but that he will be with you."

Justin came over to Brian and took him in his arms. There is nothing to be jealous about.  After putting up with your shit for 6 years and finally having you trained the way I like it, do you really think I am going to screw a pretty boy that I am not even sure is gay? Brian you are the man I plan to spend my life with.  I can't live without you and I would never mess that up with a fling. Yes, we still play around but only together. I am not going to ruin a good thing."

Justin kissed Brian and at the same time he was pulling out his phone.  He pushed a button and number was called. "Yes, Dan, could you cancel Saturday's appointment and could you let Jarod know he has the job if he agrees to the terms we discussed."

He hung up the phone, looked at Brian and said as he undid Brian's fly, "Do you mind if I show you just how much I love you?" And lowered his head to Brian's lap.

 

Chapter 3

Life for Brian and Justin was moving at full speed.  Since Justin was leaving soon, both men were trying to be home by 7:00 pm each night which wasn't easy with Brian's current schedule. Opening a new office took time, and lots of it. His staff was coming together nicely.  Daphne was perfect for her position. She had known Brian long enough that she didn't hold anything back which he knew he needed. He had often gotten carried away with an idea and Cynthia would pull him back in. He was fairly sure the 2 women spoke often which is exactly what Brian had hoped.  He needed someone that would keep him in line.

Daphne stuck her head into Brian's office as he thought about his staff. "Brian, Lindsay called when you were on your last call.  She is just checking you are still planning on flying to Toronto tomorrow evening. I told her you were and that you would give her a call."

"Thanks, Daphne.  I will give her a call." Daphne started back out the door when Brian stopped her. "Hey, Daphne, have you talked to Justin lately?" Although he worked with Daphne and lived with Justin he really didn't keep track of their friendship.  He knew they would always be best of friends and he was glad Justin had someone he could talk to and he knew if he did something that really bothered Justin it would get back to him. Many people would hate that but Brian needed it. He wasn't always the best at spotting his own shortcomings. The last thing he wanted to do was mess up his relationship with Justin and be the one in the hot tub crumbling like Dan.

"Of course, I have.  We talk almost every day although he is really busy with Jarod and the tour lately."  As soon as she said it she wished she hadn't used Jarod's name. Justin had told her there was a little tension between them about him.  Brian really wanted Jarod there with Justin but Brian's insecurities were showing.

"Brian Kinney, what are you worried about? You and Justin will always be together.  You two are soulmates and neither of you could function without the other."

"That might be what I am worried about." Brian said with a note of melancholia.  

"Brian, you will be fine.  You are so busy right now the time will fly.  And Gale and I am always here." Gale was his art director that had started dating Daphne soon after arriving in the city.  "I will always be here to knock some sense in to you." She kissed his cheek and headed to the door, "Call Lindsey."

"Hey, Daph." She turned around. "Thanks."

Daphne loved her job!

Brian picked up the phone and called Lindsey.

Justin and Jarod were on a schedule.  They met at the studio at 8:30 each morning.  Jarod was learning about Justin's work while Justin continued working on some of his paintings.  The two men worked very comfortably together.

"Mr. Taylor?"

"Please, Jarod, call me Justin already.  We are going to spend 6 months together, probably 16 hours a day.  Every time you call me Mr. Taylor I think about my father and, trust me, that is not my favorite topic."

"Ok, Justin, I was just wondering if these paintings were included in the show?"

"Those will go along.  They will be on exhibit when the gallery has enough room."

"I will mark them with that note." Jarod continued flipping through paintings and then he noticed one with a tarp over it. "Is that one going?" He pulled off the covering to find not one but two paintings. Pain and Fear in all their boldness. Jarod made an audible intake of air. "Oh my God, I had seen a picture of this one," he pointed at 'Pain'. "Is this one new?" He couldn't stop looking at 'Fear'.

"You are the only other person that has physically seen it accept for Brian."

"It is stunning, I literally can't stop looking at it."

"That's 'Fear'. I just did it about a month ago.  I was going a little crazy thinking about the tour and this is what came out.  Once I thought everything through and once you were hired I don't have that gnawing fear anymore."

"That's my job.  To reassure my clients and, hopefully, friends that we have this under control. I do hope you feel comfortable enough to consider me a friend considering how much time we will be spending together."

"I don't think that will be a problem.  You do know a little bit about my personal life. How about telling me about yours?  Family? Where you were raised? Don't feel like you have to I just thought as we were sorting paintings."

"I don't have any dirty little secrets. I grew up in the Midwest.  I was raised by my single mom. It was always just the two of us. I shouldn't say that.  I never met my father or even knew who he was but he had money. He always made sure we had nice things and sent us on great vacations.  He must have loved her. I always got the feeling he was probably married. When I got old enough my mother gave me a letter from him. She said it would explain everything. I never opened it.  I still have it but I have never opened it. She was enough for me."

"Is she still out there?"

"No.  She was a tough lady but she found one thing tougher than she was.  Cancer."

"Oh, Jared, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to get so personal."

"That's fine.  It was a while back.  Actually, just before I joined the Marines.  She was the only family I had and I just needed a reason to go forward and I found that. Now, I adapt into whatever family I am working for and treat them like family."

"So, no partner, kids?"

"No, not now.  You don't get to be my age without a few relationships but I haven't ever found the right person."

Damn, Justin had never gotten a feel from here whether he was gay or not and he was hoping talking would make that clear but he wasn't giving anything up. "How did you meet Dan?"

"I worked with some guys he worked with before.  When I got out they told me he might be able to help me get into security or law enforcement. And here I am."

Justin lightly draped an arm around Jarod's shoulders and said, "And I am glad you are." He patted Jarod's chest, "Now, get back to work." He laughed at Jarod's surprised face and then Jarod laughed too.  

" I mentioned I was going out of town this weekend, didn't I?" "

Ya, did you say you were going to Toronto?"  

"Yes, we are going to see Brian's son.  He is a great kid and who knows if I will get to see him with this tour schedule.  He can change drastically in a couple months. He is nearly 6. He was actually born the night I met Brian."

"You were YOUNG when you met him! And you have been together for 6 years?"

"Well, I would say that and, yes, I was 17.  Brian would probably say we have been together a year or 2." Justin saw Jarod's confused look. "Let's just say Brian had commitment issues."

"Tell me to shut up if I get too personal but, is he the only guy you have been with, you know......"

Justin nearly fell over laughing.  "I think we will leave that conversation for some long flight."

"You got it."  Jarod couldn't wait to hear this.    

"So what are your plans for the weekend?  Living it up in the city?"

"Actually, I will probably hole up in my hotel room.  I might stop at the Scott Gallery and check out a few security questions and get the layouts of the hotels in the different cities. I like to have a lay of the land before I get someplace so I can protect you and your work."

"Ever heard of a club? Dancing?"

"Where I grew up there wasn't much opportunity for that. I was mostly a nerd in college and then I went to the Marines."

"Well, trust me we will remedy that at some point on this trip."

Justin looked at his watch.  "Well, time for me to head home. I will be here tomorrow morning but I will leave at noon tomorrow so Brian and I can head to the airport"

The men said goodbye and went their own way.

After Brian had called Lindsey and verified details with her Brian dove into his work.  He left at noon tomorrow for the weekend and Monday he had a big presentation. Tomorrow was going to be crazy. He hoped there were no glitches.  He worked up until 7:00 and then rushed home. It was nearly 7:30 when he punched the code in at the gate. Shit, he should have called Justin or at least texted. "Hi, honey, I'm home." He walked over and nuzzled Justin's neck. "I am so sorry I am later."

Justin gave him a peck on the cheek. "I thought you might be late tonight since we have to leave tomorrow.  I grabbed some salads on my way home. Hope that's Ok."

Brian turned Justin to face him.  "How did I end up with someone so good?"  Brian leaned into Justin and softly laid his lips to Justin's. It was barely the pressure of a butterfly landing. It spoke of things to come. Justin was ready to devour him but Brian backed off. "Let's eat our salads."

"I had something else in mind." Justin took a step toward Brian.

"Later, Later. Let's first eat and then....well, then I can make it worth your while." As Justin walked toward the kitchen Brian ever so softly slipped his hand over Justin's tight little ass. It was again so soft it was more of a thought than feeling it. Justin shivered.

Sitting across from each other at the small table.  Brian poured wine for each of them and then began feeding Justin a salad.  He would give Justin a bite and then take one himself. Brian did this for the whole meal.  He didn't say anything. He would run a fingertip down Justin's cheek or along his jawline. He grazed his shoulder as well as brushing his hair back.

Justin was getting so hot he couldn't sit still. "Brian, please." Justin reached across to make connection with him but Brian gently moved the hand away.  Justin repeated his request, "Brian, please," He was pleading now "I need you." This time he caught Brian's hand and kissed the palm, almost with reverence.  

Neither were eating anymore and Brian stood and offered his hand to Justin.  By now Justin wanted so much more. Brian kept space between them accept the touch of their hands. Brian started undressing Justin slowly.  Every time Justin reached for Brian his hands were gently pushed away. As Brian slipped Justin's pants off he had Justin lay down on his back. Brian quickly but gently tied Justin's hands to the head board. He started at the top of Justin's head, running his fingers through the golden locks. His hands continued their journey, dancing across skin.  His lips soon followed.

Brian got to Justin's belly button and dipped his tongue in and out. He then continued downward, licking, nipping, and kissing but as Justin was about to go wild, Brian skipped to his inner thighs.

"Oh, GOD, Brian. I am not going to be able to hold it much longer."

"What do you want me to do Justin. Tell me.  Do you want to fuck me? Do you want me to fuck you? Tell me what you want!

"I don't care!  I want you."

"Justin, what do you want. Tell me." Brian kept running his fingers on Justin's inner thighs, barely grazing his balls.

"I want you as fucking far in me as you can get. Now," Justin was begging now. "Please, Brian, PLEASE!"

Brian shed his clothes as quickly as he could.  He untied Justin and handed him a condom. Justin was shaking to hold onto control.  He slipped the condom on. Brian added lube and as slowly as he could restrain himself, he entered millimeter by millimeter. By now, Justin was out of his mind. "Brian, please, God, I need more, more. At least kiss me."

Brian couldn't resist.  He leaned over and brushed his lips to Justin's. That was all it took.  Justin had a violent orgasm that shook him to his core. Now Brian attacked Justin's lips and thrust deeply over and over. They both shook uncontrollably and laid together until they could breathe normally again.

Justin clung to him, "That was amazing but I think you missed out a bit."

"I didn't miss out on anything. That was amazing" Brian couldn't believe how good that was. "I didn't know it could be any better that might have moved into the top 10. I think we better get to sleep.  I think we both have a busy day ahead."

"I love you, Brian Kinney."

They both drifted off to sleep remembering the touch of the other.

Justin woke first.  He listened to Brian's deep breaths.  How was he going to be gone so many weeks?  How was he going to wake up in the morning without this?  Without their showers in the morning? Without dinners across from each other."

Justin felt a tear roll down his cheek. This was crazy. They would survive. Just think about the amazing visits home.  

Brian's hand brushed Justin's cheek. "What's wrong?"

"I am going to miss you."  

Brian pulled him closer. "We will both be fine." He kissed him and said, "I need to get moving today.  Can you meet me at the office at noon? I will take your bag with me and we can leave from there."

"Yes, I will be there. Can't wait to see Gus.  It has been a while and will probably be a while before I get a chance to see him again."

They got ready and headed their own way for the morning.  Brian locked himself in his office going over the details for Monday's meeting.  "Daphne! Come here!"

"Yes, your highness?" Daphne curtsied.   

"Sorry." See if you can move the meeting Monday until 10:00.  I think I will need the extra hour."

"OK.  I'll try." She left his office.

Justin walked up to the studio and found Jarod waiting. He gave him a friendly hug, patting his back. Jarod responded in kind.  Jarod looked at Justin's face and smirked." I would say someone got lucky last night."

"I get lucky every night, usually several times but last night... I can't believe I just told you that."

"Don't leave me hanging here. Spill," Jarod said looking at Justin.

Justin shrugged, "What the hell....last night Brian felt like he had to apologize for being late."

"And how did he do that?"

Justin took a deep breath. "First, I don't care who you sleep with, guys, girls, both, neither, but if you are uncomfortable with details, let me know now.  I don't want you looking at me weird the next 6 months."

"Can I say I am intrigued?  Nothing will make me think differently of you and I truly, don't take this wrong, am interested on what it's like.  Ya, I've seen movies, read books, never had anyone who I dared ask questions. It's not something you talk about in the military."

The men continued doing some organization while Justin told him exactly what happened last night from Brian feeding him to being tied up and then how Brian had him make the choices."

As Justin talked Jarod stopped working and just listened. When Justin finished recalling the past evening Jarod just looked at him.  "Is it always like that?"

"Usually we do it a few more times in a night but, what can I say. We are both romantics and we both are horny as hell."

Jarod laughed, "God, now I know why you are worried about being gone so much."

Justin's alarm went off and he realized he needed to get moving.  "Time for us to head out for the weekend. I will be back on Monday morning at 9:00." Justin locked the studio as they left.  "Have a good weekend." Justin gave Jarod a quick kiss on the cheek. "I am really glad to have a new friend, Jarod. I have missed friends back in Pittsburgh so I'm glad to have a new one here. Someone I can talk to."  

 

Chapter 4

Justin took off in a jog to Brian's office.

Jarod stood there for a second.   Justin was interesting and so uninhibited.  That reminded him of his mom. He always felt comfortable with artists.  Traveling around the country with a nice guy. He was going to enjoy this job.  

Justin jogged into the office a little winded. "Hey, Daph." He grabbed her and gave her a kiss.  We need to do lunch sometime soon, before I leave. Is Bri ready?"

"I am not going in there.  He is all yours."

"That bad?"

"Not really. He just had a lot going on and you know how he gets when he is under pressure like that."

"That's when my work starts. I will do my best to bring him back in a better mood."

"Are you staying with Mel and Linds or a hotel?"

"A hotel.  Tonight, it will be just Brian and me. Tomorrow Gus will sleep over so he can use the pool."

"Well you know what your job is tonight.  Let them man have is way with you." Daphne laughed. "Like that is ever a problem."

Justin walked into Brian's office. "Ready to get the hell out of the country?"

"Give me 10 more minutes."

Justin walked over to him.  Took the papers and phone out of his hand and put his arms around his waist. "I am not going to see Gus heartbroken because we miss our plane today. Plus, we have a deluxe suite waiting for us in Toronto."

"Now, I saw the town car waiting for us so let's get going."

Brian was still dragging his feet when Justin guided him out the door, waving at Daphne as they left.

They arrived at the airport on time and boarded the plane.  It was a fairly short flight so although Brian joked about adding more feathers to his mile-high club wings but they decided they would 'save up' for the hotel.   

Renting a car at the airport they drove to see Gus.  As they pulled into the driveway. The young boy propelled himself out of the house and into his dad's arms. "Hey, Sunny Boy! How are you? I have missed you!"

"I missed you, too, Dad." Brian swung his son in circles.  

"Do you have a hug for me?" Justin had gotten out of the other side of the car.

"Justin!" Gus ran around to the other side. Justin scooped him up and started carrying him toward the house.  I hope your moms have something good for us to eat. I am hungry." He growled like a rumbling stomach. Gus giggled as his moms came out of the front door.

Lindsey had made a nice meal for them and they sat down to eat.  Justin told them all about his upcoming tour. Lindsey had a lot of questions about the show. She had helped him get that first big show and now he was on his way.  Justin showed her pictures of some of the works he was going to exhibit and described the lay out he was hoping to have. Justin mentioned Jarod a couple times in passing.   

Mel not ever afraid to push a situation, "Is Jarod good looking? What's he like? Is he gay?"

Brian knew what Mel was up to.  "He is amazing looking. He is very intelligent. And," Brian looked at Justin," Is he gay?"

Justin looked a bit sheepish.  "I don't know. He is very professional and hasn't talked about it.  I do know he isn't homophobic and he doesn't care who I F...., " Justin looked at Gus and JR, his sister, "sleep with."

"And that makes me very happy!" Brian leaned over and kissed Justin.  "Yuck." Gus groaned.

It was getting later in the evening and the men still had to check in at the hotel. Brian got on his knees so he was eye to eye with his son. "We will be here to pick you up at 9:00,"he looked at Lindsey and she nodded. "We have a water park at the hotel so bring your suit. " He looked back at Gus' moms.  We will have him back about noon on Sunday so we can catch a plane back home.

Brian and Justin headed to their hotel for the night. "Are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Justin questioned.

"I saw you and Daphne talking at the office.  I saw you looking at my office. I know you promised her something."

"Oh, that!  I basically said I would get your mind off all the work at the office and get you to relaxed so you will return in a better mood."

"I was not in a bad mood today."

"Maybe not a bad mood but I could see, still can see your stress."

"That's part of a new business."

"We all know that.  But none of us like it when you are like this.  You are not fun to be around then. My job is to get you to have some fun." Justin smiled that Sunshine smile at Brian.

"Well, how do you plan to do that?" Brian wiggled his eyebrows at him.

"Don't you think I should wait until we get to the hotel?"

"I think I could handle a preview."

Justin reached over and placed his left hand on Brian's crotch.  He slipped the zipper down and dipped his fingers in. He started gently running his fingers over Brian's quickly stiffening cock.

"How much further to the hotel?" Justin asked.   

"About 3 miles but traffic is going to be heavy. It could take us a while since we aren't moving now."

Justin smiled and slowly started to lean toward Brian.  He kissed him but then leaned down farther. He unbuttoned Brian's pants and reached in and took out that beautiful cock he knew so well. Justin's mouth lowered over his penis.

Brian dropped his head back and smiled when he noticed they were stopped next to a truck and the rider was definitely enjoying the show. Brian stayed focused enough to creep forward when he needed to. At one point he had to stop Justin so he could focus on a turn. He waved at the trucker as they separated. At the next stoplight Justin brought Brian to full rapture.

"I think that was definitely a great start to making me relax." He touched his lover's cheek.

"You ain't seen nothing yet." Justin responded with a twinkle in his eye.

Brian laid on the horn. "Isn't this traffic ever going to lighten up!"

Justin wasn't sure he had ever seen Brian check in so fast.  The next thing he knew they were in the sweet on the 17th floor. Gus was going to love it up here. You could see for miles and from what he had seen of the pool area he knew where they would be spending all day tomorrow.  

Justin faced Brian, "So what will it take to get you to relax a bit."  

"My dick up your ass would help a lot."

"Ever the romantic, aren't you? From the way you've been rubbing your neck and the angle you are standing I am thinking you could use a massage." Justin walked behind Brian and put his hands on Brian's shoulders. He really was tight. "Take your clothes off. " Justin said as he walked away.

"Now who's being romantic? Although in my day that is exactly what I wanted." Brian started undressing.   

Justin opened a drawer in the armure and just as he expected, a sheet for the pull-out couch. He spread the sheet on the bed. "Lay down on your stomach." He ordered Brian.   

"Not even a please?" Justin threw him a look over his shoulder as he went into the bathroom. Brian heard water running  and then heard Justin coming back.

Justin had stripped down to his underwear. He was carrying something. But Brian couldn't make it out.  Justin climbed on the bed and straddled Brian's naked body. He literally started at the top of Brian's head.  Justin made little circular motions with his fingertips. He made sure every spot was touched spending extra time on the temples and the base as he worked his way down to Brian's neck. He worked at knots in his neck and then  

Brian felt something else, heated oil.  That's what Justin had been carrying. He had even taken the time to heat it.  

Justin first worked his way down Brian's left arm, rubbing his muscled arm. He got off the bed so he could get the best angle.  Worked all the way down to each finger. He then repeated it on the other side.

"God, Sunshine, this feels amazing."

Justin worked each muscle down Brian's long back, really adding pressure to work out the kinks.

Brian groaned.

"Am I pushing too hard," Justin asked, not wanting to hurt him.

"No, I am just wondering when you went to massage school."

Justin continued to Brian's lower back where he spent more time getting each not out. He then got off the bed again and went to Brian's toes. He took each toe separately and then worked the soles of the feet using deep pressure along the arch. Brian made a noise that Justin thought it might have been an orgasm but he didn't ask.  He continued with the oil up each of Brian's lean legs. He worked on the back of the upper thighs, leaning into it for the best pressure. He then was to Brian's ass. He worked both perfect globes. His fingers started dipping between grazing Brian's anis. Justin added more oil and started working his fingers into Brian's ass. He really focused on the sphincter, trying to loosen that tight muscle.

By now Brian was nearly beside himself.  It felt so amazing but he was SO horny. He would need to do something about that soon. Justin was working deeper and deeper into him. He wondered how many fingers he had up there.  Every nerve ending was on edge in the best of ways. Justin grazed his prostate and Brian let out a low moan. "Oh, Sunshine, do you know what you are doing to me."

"I have a pretty good idea." He leaned over and inserted his tongue as far as he could make Brian thrash now. Justin removed his tongue and slowly inserted the vibrator he had grabbed when finishing the second arm. He moved it looking for the perfect spot. From Brian's reaction he had found it.  He slipped out of his underwear and rolled Brian to his side, sliding up behind hm. He kept one hand working on the prostate while his other hand snuck around and firmly took Brian's penis.

It only took the smallest of grazing from Justin's hand and Brian lost all control. Justin wasn't sure he had ever seen Brian like this. He orgasmed once but still wasn't done.  He was still hard as a rock. Just removed the vibrator and, slipping on a condom, entered Brian's relaxed ass. He thrust in and out feeling his own desire growing. Brian came again just as Justin did.

Justin took off the condom and wiggled around to the front of Brian. He looked down at Brian's deflated cock. "Did I do that?" He smiled one of his mischievous smiles.

Brian had no words.  He just pulled Justin close and they both fell into a restful sleep.

About 2:00 am Justin woke for some reason.  He then realized Brian was trying to get them both under the covers. They slipped into the bed next to each other.

Brian wasn't ready to give Justin up. Brian pulled him close. With his mouth next to Justin's ear he said. "That was amazing! Why have you been hiding that talent."

"Not hiding, just trying to keep it interesting."

Brian started kissing Justin and proceeded to slowly make love to him.

Justin responded to every kiss, every touch.  They again dropped off laying side by side, Fingers entwined.

In the morning, Brian did seem much more relaxed. They drove back to Lindsey and Melanie's house.  Gus flew down the steps, ready for time with his dad. Justin walked up, giving each of them a kiss and taking the bag of clothes from Lindsey.  "We will make sure he has eaten before we bring him back tomorrow. We will either have a late breakfast or early lunch."

Gus didn't stop talking the entire way back to the hotel accept to get answers to his questions.  Justin was driving so Brian could sit in the back with his boy. All he could do was smile as the two interacted.

Brian loved being with his son.  He asked him all kinds of questions about what had happened since he was here last.  As he approached the hotel, Brian started telling Gus about the pool but also laying down the rules. Gus groaned a little but agreed to his father's requests.  

The three walked in holding hands.  They really were a stunning trio. Gus dark like his father and Justin so fair. Brian held on to his world tightly.

As Justin predicted Gus loved the view. He would have stood on the balcony all day if the pool didn't start beckoning him.  All three of the 'men' put on their trunks and headed down to the water park about 10:00.

At 1:00 the 'grownups' insisted they eat some lunch up in the room. While Justin helped Gus dry off, Brian ordered a pizza be delivered to their room.  He then scooped his son up and put his free arm around Justin as they walked to the elevator. After they had all put clothes on there was a knock on the door.  Soda and pizza for everyone. By 2:00 they were all full and Gus was sound asleep on the couch.

"I am going to stay here when you two head back to the pool. You need some time alone." Justin said softly as he and Brian were stretched out on the bed leaning on each other.

"You don't have to do that.  You know Gus loves you."

"Of course, I know that. But he needs time with his dad. And I do have a couple calls to make. I thought of a couple things I forgot to mention to Peter and Jarod was going over to the gallery today so he can take care of it."

Brian had a flash of something in his face when Justin mentioned Jarod.

Justin brought his mouth up to Brian's. "What more do I have to do to prove to you I love you. I thought last night..."

Brian captured Justin's mouth in a heartfelt kiss. "It isn't you I don’t trust."  He drew Justin's full length to his and his hand wandered down the back of Justin's pants as he drew him in for a kiss.

"YUCK! Are you two going to keep kissing?" Gus was awake and full of energy.  He climbed onto the bed and squirmed his way between the 2 men.

"Hey, Gus, can you do me a huge favor?" Justin said to Gus.  "I have some yucky work to do so do you think you could take care of your dad down at the pool."

With a grin from ear to ear Gus relied, "I can do that!  Come on, Dad."

You go put your suit on in the bathroom so I can properly say goodbye to Justin. When they heard the bathroom door close Brian collected Justin against him. "I love you!"

"I know you do." They kissed again.

From behind the closed bathroom door they heard Gus, "Are you done kissing yet?"

Brian put on his suit and the Kinney men headed out.

Justin made his calls and relaxed in the room. When he heard the door click he looked up.  He wasn't sure who looked more tired, Gus or Brian, but they both looked so happy.

"Hey, guys, looked like I missed out on a lot of fun."

Gus talked a mile a minute about everything they had done the last 3 hours.   

"What are the plans for dinner?" Justin looked at Brian.

"I told Gus he could choose.  I said we could go out or order in and, Gus, tell Justin what you decided."

"I wanted lasagna and a movie."

"I ordered Italian be delivered in about, he looked at his watch, 45 minutes. I ordered a bottle of wine too. Hey, Gus, you need to jump in the shower so I can wash your hair."

"But, Dad, I have been in the water all day I am not dirty."

Brian tousled his son's wet hair. "I know you aren't dirty but we do need to wash out the chlorine, Sunny Boy."

Justin smiled as they went in the bathroom.  He remembered Brian calling him that in the hospital already. A few minutes later Gus came out of the bathroom wrapped in a big towel. As he glanced up he watched Brian drop his suit and scratch his balls. Then Brian noticed him he smirked and stepped into the shower.

By the time Brian came out Gus was in his pajamas and Justin was taking the food out of the delivery bag. He stood there watching Justin care for his son.  He didn't deserve this much happiness.

By the time they finished eating Gus was trying to watch the movie but his eyes were closing. His head ended up on Justin's lap when he couldn't fight it any longer. Brian got a pillow and a blanket.  As Justin slipped out Brian slipped the pillow into place. Justin covered him with the blanked and leaned down and kissed Gus's cheek.

Brian looked over at Justin and noticed a tear in his eye. He slipped his arm around him and led him out to the balcony. "What's the matter?" he asked with a note of concern.

"I just realized how long it will be before I see him again." Justin laid his head on Brian's chest. Brian tightened his hold on Justin teared up himself with the amount of love he felt for these two.

Everyone slept in on Sunday.  When Brian stirred he saw the TV was on and Gus was eating a banana Justin had laid out the night before. Justin was still curled up next to Brian but was stirring.   

Brian looked over at Gus, "Morning, Sunny Boy.  Just keep watching your show. I am going to properly say good morning to your Uncle Justin." Brian kissed Justin deeply, expelling a long breath. Softly he said, "I guess that is all we can do right now." He took Justin's hand and proved he really wanted to do something."  

They packed up their belongings and had about 2 hours before needing to drop Gus off.  Everyone decided that pancakes would be yummy and they headed out for brunch. After filling up on pancakes, eggs, and bacon it was time to head back to the house.  

Goodbyes were said and hugs and kisses were given. Back in the rental, Justin and Brian headed back to the airport, boarded their plane, and were headed home.  In less than 2 weeks Justin would be boarding another plane. That was in the back of their minds, both Justin's and Brian's.

 

Chapter 5

The week flew by. Justin and Brian managed to have dinner each night but they barely had the energy to do anything once they crawled into bed at the end of the day. It was already Friday.   Jarod was leaving on Monday morning to start the set up and Justin was leaving on Wednesday with no return date on his ticket.

Justin arrived at the studio a half hour earlier than usual.  To his surprise Jarod was walking up at the same time. "What are you doing here already?"

Jarod responded, "I had a feeling you would be here early today.  Your babies are being shipped off today. In fact, they will all be gone by noon today."

"I just wanted to make sure everything was ready.  If you haven't figured it out I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my work."

"Why do you think I have been taking such meticulous notes?"

"Why do you think I trust you to start set up without me?" Justin laughed. "Do you have plans for lunch?"  

"Nothing. Was probably going to hit the deli on the corner."

"Why don't I make you some lunch at my place.  I need something to do so I don't obsess about the art being on the road."

"Sure, sounds great.  I had gotten the feeling your place was off limits to anyone.  Are you sure you don't want to check it out with Brian? I would understand, really."

"If Brian didn't trust you, you would know it.  Well, maybe you wouldn't because he would have said no to hiring you."

"Does Brian make a lot of your decisions.?"

"No, not at all.  He just worries about me after what happened."

"I can understand that." Jarod thought a second.  "I don't know what I would do if someone went after someone I loved."

"And I seem to attract trouble. He has been there for me more than once."

"What else hap....."

The downstairs buzzer rang. Jarod looked at the security camera. "Gentlemen, may I see your papers?"

One of the men held up the work order to the camera and Jarod buzzed them in.

The two delivery men along with Jarod and Justin loaded the paintings in the truck. The door was pulled and a lock was secured.  The men handed the key to Jarod as was planned. The paintings and the key would not be together until they got to the gallery in Columbus.

After doing a little straightening the men headed out.  They took the short walk to the hidden courtyard. Jarod was amazed when they went through the gate, down the path, and into the courtyard.

"I have walked past that gate every day for a couple months and would never have thought this was back here."

"Well, Dan owns all this.  He lives in that house. Brian and I rent the other one from him." It is a great setup.  It's quiet. There is a hot tub we can use and the house is a great size and the kitchen is like one professionals use. I think Dan's old partner helped design it. So, what are you hungry for.  I could make us salads and sandwiches. I could do some pasta." As he was talking he was looking in the refrigerator. "If pasta is ok I think I know what I will make."

"Sounds good.  Can I help?"

"How are your knife skills? "

"I think I can chop some vegetables."

"Great, after helping move all the paintings my gimp hand is acting up."

"I have heard you say that before. Did something happen to your hand?"

"I guess you haven't heard the story." Justin kept working as he talked. "I started to mention it this morning when the movers arrived.  It was the first time I was nearly killed." Justin went on to tell Jarod about Chris Hobbs. He told him about Brian showing up at prom and then he told him about getting hit and his long recovery."

By now Jarod was sitting by the bar as Justin kept cooking and talking.

"I am not sure what would have happened to me if Brian hadn't been there and then if he hadn't supported me, physically and mentally, as I regained my ability to do almost everything. Sorry, I got carried away.  Brian is one of my favorite subjects. I could have lost him to cancer a few years back, too, so we have been there for each other."

"No wonder you two are so close.  You have been through a lot together."

"It hasn't all been great." Changing the topic, "I know I promised you the story about my sex life sometime." They both laughed.  "Well, I will give you a brief version."

"I am starting to believe this is going to be quite a story."

"It isn't boring. " Justin laughed as he set the meal in front of his guest.

The men took their meal outside and sat on the patio while they ate.   

"This is amazing!" Jarod said with his mouth full of vegetables and pasta. Where did you learn to cook like this?"

"When I was a kid I enjoyed helping my mom and when I moved in with Brian at 17 if I wanted to eat anything that wasn't take out I had to learn.  And it is another way I can be creative. I find it relaxing."

"Well, if your art career ever goes south, you have a backup."

"Brian enjoys it."

"You really are in love, aren't you?"

"I honestly don't know what I would do if he wasn't there for me.  We are kind of two parts to one person. I know, I know very corny."

"Actually, I have to admit, I am jealous. I hope to find someone, someday."

This was Justin's chance, "So, what would your special someone be like?"

"Someone's heart is the most important.  Caring, giving, willing to share life. And, call me shallow, someone who takes care of themselves. But look at the god you love and who loves you, you know you need an attraction."

Justin started laughing.  Jarod gave him an odd look. "Could you be any more vague or dense right now? I was trying to be subtle but I guess I will just ask. Are you gay, straight, bi?  Obviously, it doesn't matter to me. I just can't get a vibe from you in any direction. And, yes, you have the right to tell me to fuck off."

Jarod chuckled, "That answer would probably make the next 6 months a little awkward. I like to say I am fluid. I love the idea of love. Where I grew up that wasn't acceptable but my mom was more accepting that most. She could see I didn't fall into any category. But since we are being honest, I have dated women mostly and all my experiences have been with them."

"Well, I hope you find the right person someday."

"Since we are being open here, have you ever been with a woman?"  

Justin smiled at the memory, "Yes, once.  She is still my best friend."

"Oh, now that sounds like an uncomfortable situation."  

"It was but it isn't anymore.  Maybe that story can be another flight conversation, although it is actually kind of sweet."

"Hey, gentlemen."

Justin and Jarod had been so deep into their conversation they hadn't seen Dan coming their way.

"Hey, Dan, please don't tell me you saw Jarod do something that made you think he is going to be a threat."

Dan laughed.  "Not at all. Hey, Jarod."

Jarod stood and shook hands with him.   

"It looks like you two are getting along well. Justin, you asked what I observed? I saw a couple guys getting to know each other and not just on the surface.  I think you were being personal."

"He is scary, good." Justin chuckled.

Dan continued, "That is really actually a very good thing since you are going to be together a whle."

"Dan, I have a favor to ask.  I know I say that a lot to you but could you keep an eye on Brian. I know that sounds odd because Brian is a successful, grown man but he has been known to get distracted when I am not around or he can get overly focused on a project with no thought of his own wellbeing.  Brian is a lot of work! I just make it look easy!" All three men laughed at that.

"I will keep an eye on him. I can use a distraction myself right now."

Justin offered Dan some food but he had already eaten.  As the afternoon crept by Justin brought out some beer. None of them seemed to notice how the shadows had changed and evening was setting in.   

Brian arrived home from a very long day to hear laughter.  He came out of the pathway to see Justin, Dan, and Jarod sitting on their patio.  It looked like they may have been sitting there for a while. He was not in the mood to socialize.  He was not in the mood to share Justin with anyone tonight. Their time was precious right now.

"Well, looks like you threw a party without me." Brian leaned down and kissed Justin and walked into the house.

Justin heard the tension in Brian's voice. Was he just tired or could this get ugly? When Brian was in a mood you never knew what way he was going to react to anything. He excused himself and followed Brian in.

Brian was pouring some bourbon into a glass as Justin walked up.  

"Looks like you had a rough day."

Brian downed the bourbon in one swallow and poured himself another.  

"Why don't you come out and join us. We are just shooting the shit."

"Not in a chatty mood." Brian glared at the door. "You are going to be with him for 6 months.  He needs to be here now?"

Justin tried to kiss Brian but he shrugged him off. "Brian, give me five minutes to get rid of them." Justin made Brian look at him. "Please, don't do this tonight." Justin leaned in and kissed Brian tenderly. "I love you, baby, don't get like this tonight."

Justin walked out the door. The men were already up ready to go.  "Hey, guys, sorry to break up the party."

"Everything OK?" Dan looked at the door.

"It will be fine.  He is under so much stress right now. He didn't expect to come home to company."

Goodbyes were said and Justin wished Jarod a safe trip, saying he would see him in Columbus on Wednesday evening.

Justin took a deep breath and walked back into the house hoping Brian had heard him.  

Justin found Brian still standing in the same spot.  He was never one to run from a confrontation with Brian. He walked over to him.  He laid his hand on Brian's shoulder. "You OK?"

Brian wrapped his arms around Justin, pulling him close. "Sorry, still not in the mood to talk." He roughly took Justin's lips and words were no longer needed.  

As Saturday morning dawned Brian and Justin lay in each other's arms. Justin began waking but did his best not to wake Brian.  He knew Brian had had an extremely busy week at work and needed time to sleep. But watching the beautiful man sleep was too difficult.  His hand first brushed the hair out of Brian's eyes. As gently as he could he followed Brian's jawline. He then traced Brian's lips. It nearly killed him that he couldn't kiss them. How was he going to make it for weeks without seeing this man.  Without touching him. Without making love to him.

Justin shifted slightly and could still feel the effects of their love making last night.  Brian had no restraint. He hadn't been like that in, well, he couldn't remember when Brian was that rough. He just couldn't get enough and this morning Justin could feel the results.

He focused on Brian again.  His finger trailed down his long neck and onto his chest. It roamed down to his abdomen. Before he realized what happened his wrist was in a vice like grip. Brian guided the hand upward and languidly kissed the palm.  As his tongue and lips nibbled each digit Brian's other hand slipped to Justin's groin and gently took the already hard cock in his hand. He leaned forward and kissed Justin almost too gently, leaving Justin wanting more.

"Are you alright this morning?" I was a little rough on you last night.  

"I am a little sore but I will be fine."  

Brian kissed him a little more intently this time but now his lips started downward gently pushing Justin to his back. He savored Justin, knowing his taste so well.  He spent time at his navel, knowing the anticipation was building. He took both of Justin's hands and linked fingers with him. His mouth finally found what it was seeking. He took it in his mouth as gently as he possibly could. His tongue danced over its surface.

Justin's grip tightened on Brian's hands.  Brian than freed his hands and slid so his tongue could comfort the wounded area from last night. He ran his tongue around and then dipped in and out several times.  Justin was struggling to keep control.

"Brian, Baby, I …. can't...."

Brian's mouth again claimed Justin's penis just as Justin erupted in spasms. He lay his head on Justin's stomach while Justin's breathing went back to normal. It was then that Justin realized Brian was still without relief.

Justin kissed Brian deeply tasting himself as he did so. He reached down and started manipulating Brian with his hand and it didn't take more than a minute and Brian, too, was resting against his pillow.

"How are we going to do this? How are we going to be apart that long and not .... have this?"

Justin looked at Brian.  "Do you mean how are we going to survive without making love or without having sex?"

Brian was quiet as he thought that through.  "God, Sunshine. I really can't imagine being apart this long.  Making love with you is what I live for, what I breath for. I hope you know you are the only man I have ever made love to."

Justin thought about that for a minute and, yes, he did believe that. "I think we need to set some ground rules.  Brian, I don't expect you to go without sex while I am gone. In fact, that would kill you. But, Brian, never the same guy twice and never at our house.  I know you will use protection, you have always done that. And, Brian, no one we know."

Brian could see this was causing Justin pain. They hadn't had sex without the other one involved in well over a year. "Oh, Sunshine, he put his hands on either side of the face he loved.  I wish I could say I wouldn't have sex while you were gone but that isn't probable. And although you are a much better man than I am I don't think you would make it either." He kissed his love.  "Your rules are very fair. The only thing I want to add is, I don't want to hear about any of it. What you do and what I do will just be a physical thing to release our needs. Our love will never change."

They ended up making love once more, Brian treating Justin like it was his first time.

It was after noon when they stumbled out of the house and landed in the hot tub. They literally couldn't keep their hands off each other. The heat and motion of the water helped loosen up Justin's sore muscles.  They saw Dan pop in and out a couple times but he was keeping his distance to give them space this weekend.

As Justin lay in Brian's arms he started giggling.   

"What is so funny?"

"My stomach just growled.  I guess it isn't true that you can live on love. Food is also needed."

Justin jumped up and headed for the steps.  Brian swatted his perfectly shaped ass he climbed out.  Brian was right behind him.

After pulling on some shorts they headed downstairs again.  Obviously, they weren't going anywhere dressed the way they were.  "What are you hungry for?" Justin asked Brian. Noticing the gleam in Brian's eye, "That is off the table, for a couple hours anyway. Now what would you like to eat? We have left over pasta and salad from yesterday.  I could do some eggs and toast that would hold us over until dinnertime if we want to do something then."

"If I am not mistaken you would like me to take you out for dinner? Some place ridiculously romantic?"

Justin grinned from ear to ear and nodded his head.

"It is kind of late notice. You make us some lunch and I will make some plans. I will be back in 15."  Brian ran upstairs. He didn't have a lot of time and he was running through his options. One of his new clients was a trendy new restaurant.  He dialed the owner.

"Brian! Food is ready." Justin hollered up the stairs.

Brian bounded down the steps.  "8:30 pm be ready in your finest....wear one of those amazing new outfits I saw in the closet.  I know you bought them for the tour but I promise not to rip it off you."

Justin laughed, "Eat before the eggs are cold."

Neither of them cared what they did after eating.  As long as they were in contact with each other they were content. They ended up watching a movie they had seen 100 times.  Justin sat on the sectional with Brian's head in his lap. Justin played with his hair as they watched. Brian ran his hand up and down Justin's leg.  Brian turned his head and starting burying his head into Justin's crotch. Justin could feel the warmth and moisture of Brian's mouth.

"Brian, oh god, Brian." He could feel is erection growing.  

Brian slipped the shorts down enough to free Justin's hard on. He took Justin in his mouth for the second time today and Justin almost cried with the pleasure and the thought of leaving.

Justin kissed Brian and then after he sat up Justin got on the floor between Brian's legs, after slipping Brian's shorts down Justin took him all the way in his greedy mouth.

When the movie finished, Justin and Brian went upstairs to get ready. Justin looked at Brian, "Take you stuff and get ready in the spare room OK?"

Brian started protesting but then stopped.  It wasn't hard for him to do this for Justin.  

Brian grabbed his clothes and went in the other bedroom.   

30 minutes later Brian was standing outside their bedroom.  "Hey, Sunshine, are you about ready? We need to get moving.

From the other side of the door Justin replied, "Just head down I will be two minutes.

True to his word, Justin was at the top of the stairs two minutes later.  The artistic side of Justin did like a little dramatic flair once in a while.  Brian looked up and couldn't get his breath.

Justin was coming down the staircase.  He was stunning. He was wearing black slacks, a soft blue shirt, and charcoal color blazer. Every hair on his head was just where it should be.  

As Justin reached the bottom of the stairs Brian realized he hadn't been breathing. He took an intake of air. "Wow." Was all he could get out.

Justin stood at the bottom of the stairs. "Are you ready to go?"

"I'm ready to eat right here." He pulled Justin in his arms. "How can I let you go knowing you will look like this.  Other men are not going to be able to keep their hands off you."

"There may be a few women, too." Justin smirked at Brian. "I am ready for dinner."

There was a cab waiting for them when they came out of the gate.  When the cab stopped they were standing in front of the restaurant.  Walking into the entry there as an elevator which took them to the roof top. As they stepped out of the elevator everyone in the room was drawn to look at the couple that was coming in.  Justin's look was only emphasized by Brian's. Brian was wearing deep gray suit with a wine-colored dress shirt with a matching tie. The tie had pinstripes of pale blue which matched Justin's shirt. The air seemed to leave the room as they were led through the restaurant and out to a private dining area under the stars.  

Brian pulled out a chair for Justin, leaning down to kiss him as he sat down.  The maitre d pulled out Brian's chair and he sat down.

The server came up with a bottle of wine.  He could barely take his eyes off both of the men. He poured each of them a glass. He walked away.   

Brian looked at Justin, "I hope you don't mind. I told the chef to bring us something special rather than order from the menu. They interlocked fingers and sipped the wine.  Neither said much. They just looked into each other's eyes as they talked about unimportant things.

The first course was served and they ate it in near silence. When their plates were cleared away Justin heard some music coming from somewhere but he couldn't figure out where. Brian stood up and offered his hand to Justin.  Justin stood and was swept into Brian's arms.

♫You can dance ev'ry dance with the guy who gives you the eye, let him hold you tight. You can smile ev'ry smile for the man who help your hand 'neath the pale moonlight.  But don't forget who's taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be. So Darlin', Save the last dance for me.♫

Justin melted into Brian's body. This was their song.  Although he didn't remember it they had danced to this at his prom. But he did remember dancing to it in the loft in Pittsburgh. Brian had thought of everything.

Justin pulled Brian's mouth down to his own. "I love you, Brian Kinney. More than even I can tell you. I can't live without you.  I will survive but not really live."

At that moment Brian picked up Justin and swung him gracefully in a circle. Brian claimed Justin's mouth and savored his lips. "I love you, too, Sunshine." The words were choked out softly.

As the music stopped Brian led Justin back to his chair.  The main course was brought out. They ate in near silence looking into each other's eyes.  "Um, what do you say we take dessert home?" Brian asked as he pulled Justin's hand to his lips.

"That might be the best idea I have ever heard!"

Tiramisu in hand, they headed to the elevator. Once inside, the doors closed and Justin pressed his body tightly against Brian's.  Brian flipped the setup and pinned Justin against the wall pressing his mouth hungrily to Justin's. He planted his right hand by Justin's left ear and with his left hand he grabbed Justin's crotch in desperation.  

As the elevator dinged and the doors slid open both men were straightening their clothes but their eyes were glazed over. They stumbled into the back of a cab and gave him the address. Although they did plenty of groping and kissing they refrained from anything more until they got home.   

By the time they arrived they had nearly driven each other over the edge.  They made it through the gate but didn't make it into the house. They fell to the ground in the garden and made love under the stars. They eventually got up, remembering the dessert that ended up sitting next to them, and strolled into the house.  They grabbed a bottle of wine, glasses, and two spoons as they headed up the steps.

Sunday, they spent the day in bed.  They got up to eat but they always ended back side by side in the bed.  They watched movies and made love. They talked and laughed, and they made love.  They sat in the garden with a glass of wine and went back to bed.

Monday brought back the real world and Brian's hectic schedule. There were meetings planned all day.   

Justin, on the other hand had very little to do.  He began packing his clothes. He reviewed the trips itinerary, making sure there was a copy for Brian, including hotels and galleries.  He made sure the times he planned to come home were marked clearly not to mention the weekend Brian promised to come to see him in Austin. He wrote several little notes he planned to hide around the apartment for Brian to find when he was gone.   

At 1:00 Justin went to Kinnetiks to have lunch with Daphne.  When he arrived, he popped into Brian's office but he was on the phone.  He gave him a quick kiss and mouthed he would see him after lunch.

"Where we going to eat, Daph?  It's on me. They headed to a little café around the corner.  After ordering, Justin started filling Daphne in on the weekend's events. He told her about the Saturday dinner.  "It was so amazing, Daphne. And he set it all up in 10 minutes. I never know how he does it but I am so glad he does."

They talked about Daphne and Gale's relationship. Justin was so glad Daphne finally found someone who seemed to be 'the one.'

"Hey, Daph, I think you need to know that Brian has my permission to sleep around while I am gone."

"WHAT! What are you talking about.  You two are a couple now. You don't do stuff without each other there."

"Daphne, I am going to be gone a majority of 6 months.  Brian can't be without sex that long. I know he loves me. He knows I love him but we set up guide lines that we are both going to live with and live by.  I just wanted you to know so if you get any whiff of Brian messing around in a hotel that it's ok. Trust me, you don't want to work with a celibate Brian."

Daphne sat quietly for a second.  "I guess I can see your point. But, Justin, are you sure you are ok with all this.?"

"I have to be.  I don't think I could go the whole trip without him either. I will only ever love Brian but, you know me, I need to fuck."

They finished their lunch and walked back to the office.  Justin again popped into Brian's office and he was again on the phone.  Brian held up a finger. A minute later Brian said, "Can you hold for a minute please?' He put the call on hold.   

"Hey, Sunshine, sorry it is chaos here today." He took him in his arms and kissed him.  "I will do my best to be home by," He looked at his watch. "I will be there by 7:00 at the very latest.  I will do my best to make it by 6. I will grab something to eat on my way home." He gave him one more kiss and went back to his phone call.

Justin walked into the lobby and said goodbye to Daphne.  He handed her a copy of the itinerary so she knew where he'd be too. "Daphne, keep an eye on him for me. Love you." He gave her a kiss and headed out the door.

Brian didn't make it home by 6. He didn't make it home by 7. At 8:15 he finally walked in the door.   He had a bouquet of flowers in one hand and Chinese in the other. Justin was watching TV. He glanced up as Brian walked in the door.  

"Hey." Justin went back to watching TV.

Brian dropped to his knees by Justin. "Sunshine, I am so sorry. Can you forgive me. I tried, I really did." He handed the bouquet to Justin. He leaned over to see what Justin's response was.   

Justin reached up and drew him close. "You are just lucky I am leaving town.  I am not going to waste the little time we have left. "

Brian grabbed chopsticks and Justin got some beer out of the fridge. They looked at each other and Brian looked at the stairs. They went upstairs.  After feeding each other and a couple beers Brian fell into bed and then into a deep sleep. Justin curled up next to Brian, kissed his cheek, and let the tears roll down his own. How was he going to do this?

When Justin woke up Brian was gone but there was a note on his pillow. It was an apology and a promise to be home on time tonight and that he would call.

Justin knew that was part of Brian.  He spent the day on the phone with Jarod.  They would barely get off and the phone would ring again with another question from the gallery.  By the fifth call they both just laughed. "I guess I should have just gone out with you. It's not like Brian is around anyway."  

At 3:00 pm Brian texted and said there was an issue with the account he was working on.  About 5:00 pm the phone rang. Justin saw it was Brian and really didn't want to answer it.

"Hey, Baby" Justin said softly.

"Sunshine, I'm so so so sorry. This campaign fell apart I need to get it back on track tonight or I will lose it.  I don't want to be anywhere but at home with you but I don't have a choice."

"I know this is important for your new office. I really do, Brian. So what time will you be home?"'

"I really don't know.  I don't want to promise anything. It could be late."  

"Wake me up when you get home. Love you!"

"I love you, too Justin!"

It was midnight before Bria got home.  He slipped into bed and wrapped his arms around Justin. "Hey, Sunshine, I'm home." He slipped his arms around him and pulled him close. "I am so sorry."  

Justin snuggled into Brian's embrace and fell right back to sleep.

About 3:00 am Justin woke up shaking again in a sweat.   

Brian woke, "You OK, sweetheart?"

"Just a dream.  I'll be ok."

Brian held him close and slowly and passionately made love to his Sunshine.

Brian was gone again in the morning. Justin spent an hour or so hiding the notes he had written for Brian.  He tucked one in between towels in the linen closet. Another one went in his underwear drawer. Some went in the kitchen and others in the office area.  And he left a special one on the pillow for him tonight.

Justin received confirmation that his flight was on time.  He tried to get Brian on the phone but he didn't answer. He left a message to call him back.  When he hadn't heard from him 15 minutes later he called Daphne.

"He has been on the phone all morning.  He really feels terrible. " Daphne said.  He barely gets off the phone and it rings again. Step in and see if he has a minute."

Justin walked in quietly to see Brian on the phone.  He walked over to Brian and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. He kissed his neck and lay his cheek on Brian's back.

"Hold on." He set the phone down and collected Justin against him. "So this is it?"  

"Ya I need to get going. I am going to miss you more than I can even imagine." He gave Brian a kiss that said everything. It told of love and missing someone.

Brian's phone beeped. He leaned down and gave Justin one more quick kiss and he was back on the phone.

Justin walked out the door and was gone.

 

Chapter 6

Justin was glad he made it to the airport with plenty of time.  He needed to get his head straight. He missed Brian already. Even though he totally understood how busy Brian was and how committed he had always been to his work and his clients.  That's what made him so successful. That was one of the things he loved about him. But it wasn't easy today.

It was time to focus on his career.  This is his big chance. If this goes well he will open so many doors.  Although loneliness was already taking hold somewhere deep in his soul, his excitement was growing.

Who decided Columbus, Ohio would be the first stop? It wasn't the city you think of when you think art world. He disembarked and grabbed his luggage.  He looked for a driver, maybe one holding a sign with his name on it. Instead he found the smiling face of Jarod.

"Welcome to Columbus." Jarod greeted Justin with a friendly hug.

"Hey, I didn't expect you to pick me up.  Got to say it's a nice surprise."

"Hate to tell you it could be a long ride to the hotel.  The traffic is horrible."

"Guess we have time to catch up.  We haven't talked since Friday." Justin commented.

"Ya, I was kind of wondering how your evening was Friday after I left. Does Brian get in that mood very often? I wondered if I needed to start watching out for you instead of leaving." He said this with a smile to let Justin know he knew Brian was not a threat.  "So, what kind of sendoff did he give you?" Out of the corner of his eye Jarod saw a shadow cross over Justin's face. "Oops, I take it...."

"He has been so busy the last two day's I hardly saw him.  He had warned me his schedule was crazy this week. He really did give me a great send off. I know Brian was touchy when he got home Friday.  I have to admit I was a little sore on Saturday but it had been well worth it." Justin saw the look on Jarod's face change. "What's that look for?"

"Sorry, I guess I just am curious."

"Curious what it is like to have a cock up your ass?" Justin laughed as Jarod's face went from shock to acknowledgement.  

"Honestly, yes. Since we are being open here, what is it like?"

"Wow, I have never tried to put it in words before."

"Well, it obviously includes pain.  You just said so."

"Pain and pleasure can be two sides of the same coin.  Sure, it includes pain but the pleasure is well worth it.  Just thinking about it is giving me a hard on."

Jarod chuckled.  He wasn't sure how to respond to that.

Justin got a smile on his face that meant he was up to no good. "I think I just came up with a personal mission for this tour.  Jarod Thomas, you are going to get laid on this trip. You said you were open to men, right."

Jarod nodded.

"Just so you know, I don't like to fail." Justin saw the look on Jarod's face. "Jarod, I would never push you into something that made you uncomfortable but we can go out and I can be your wingman. We can find you the perfect person."

The conversation lightened up and so did the traffic. By the time they arrived at the hotel the 2 men grabbed a sandwich in the hotel bar and went to their own rooms for the night.

Brian got home about 9:00 p.m. to find a dark house.  Of course, he expected it but that didn't make it easier. He poured him a large serving of bourbon and headed for the steps.  He stopped. He went back and grabbed the bottle, taking it upstairs with him. Brian downed the first glass. He set it down and filled it again.  He stripped and dropped on the bed. Picking up the glass he sipped the golden liquid. He moved his hand to Justin's pillow and felt something. An envelope.  Brian held it, recognizing Justin's artistic scrawl. He took another long draw of his drink and opened the envelope.

'My dear Brian,

Set the drink down and smile. Think about Saturday evening. I can still feel your arms around me.  I won't forget that evening or spending the day in bed Sunday.

Don't beat yourself up that you were busy this week. I do understand you need to do your job just like I need to take this tour.   

I won't tell you not to drink too much because I know you will.  Are you on the second or third glass?'

Brian looked down at the glass he had just refilled and smiled.

'Just remember I will be back and no matter how much time and how much distance there is between us you always have my heart and soul. And remember, I can't live without you so don't do anything stupid.

I love you, Brian Kinney!

Your Sunshine'

Brian set the glass down on the night stand, slid under the blankets, and held the letter to his heart as he drifted off to sleep.

The show was ready.  It was an hour before the opening and all Justin wanted was to hear Brian's voice.  He pressed Brian's icon on his phone. He didn't expect to reach him at 6:00 p.m. but at least he could hear his voice.   

Daphne was in Brian's office when his cell phone rang.  "Kinney," Brian's voice came across loud and clear.

"Hey, Brian."

"Sunshine," Brian's voice took on that soft quality it often did when he was talking to Justin.  Daphne waved at Brian and left his office. "How is everything going."

"Just have an hour until opening.  I think everything is ready. Jarod has done an amazing job."

"How is Jarod?" Justin could hear the little note of angst in Brian's voice.

"He is fine but he isn't who I want to talk about.  I want to talk about my hot boyfriend who I have missed every minute since I left New York City.  Talk dirty to me so I can relax. I know you probably don't have time. I didn't actually think you would pick up."

"I have all the time you need, Sunshine. I had an appointment cancel so I am all yours. Now what can I do to get that beautiful cock of yours hard. I wish I was there to physically take it into my mouth for you."

"Oh, god, Brian you don't know how much I wish that too. Just thinking about your lips around me...Justin slipped his hand down his own pants. He was in a small office they had assigned him for his time here. "What else would you do?"

"Sunshine, I miss you so much. I would love to be there so I could stick my cock so far up you," Brian's hand slipped beneath his desk and into the fly he just opened.  

"Brian, Baby."

Brian could tell by Justin's voice he was about ready to come. "Justin, I want to bite down on your nipple so bad..."

From the noise Brian heard on the line he was sure Justin had shot his load causing him to do the same. Brian was also sure he heard someone walk in to whatever room Justin was in. "Sounds like you have some explaining to do."

"Uh, Ya."

"I love you.  You are going to blow the art world away tonight. I miss you, Sunshine. Talk to you soon.  Love you." And he was gone.

Justin was just coming to a climax when Jarod had entered the office. There was no stopping himself now so Justin just finished what he was doing, although slightly embarrassed.

Jarod had a little smirk on his face when he said, "Sorry.  Looks like I interrupted something."

Justin could do nothing but laugh. "Ya, your timing is impeccable.  I didn't expect to reach him and when I did, well, one thing led to another."

"I don't need an explanation. You are two consenting adults. And I should have knocked."

"Jarod, I am a gay man.  We are going to spend a lot of time together.  My guess is you will walk on this or something similar more often. Don't straight men jack off?"

"Trust me, I have done my share.  Well, I came in hoping to get you to relax a little but Brian seems to have done that for me.  I have checked all the security and we are good to go. Are you ready to meet your public?"

"I am never ready to meet my public.  By now you know I really hate this end of my job." But he put on a smile and walked out into the gallery.

The 10-day run was uneventful.  The show was a success and the crowds grew each night.  After the second weekend it was time to pack up and head on to Minneapolis which was a repeat of Columbus.  Jarod and Justin spent nearly 16 hours a day together and were becoming very close friends.

Jarod made the trip bearable while the days away from Brian were nearly unbearable sometimes.  

Brian spent 16 hours a day at the office.  He frequently started drinking long before he left for the evening.  By now when Brian was at the house he would look for another note that Justin left for him.  He wasn't sure if the notes made it better or worse but he probably drank less the nights he got one.  

Weekends were the worst.  It had been almost a month since he had sex with anyone.  He could hardly believe it himself but he knew that was going to change.  He had talked to Dan and they were heading to a club tonight. The men had reserved hotel rooms near the club to bring anyone they picked up.  Brian felt a bit of that old thrill and he had Sunshine's blessing. He just couldn't think about Justin doing the same thing.

Brian looked at the itinerary.  Justin was spending his second weekend in Minneapolis.  He wondered what night life was like in Minneapolis. He wondered what Justin was doing after the gallery closed tonight.

Brian grabbed the poppers he had gotten and took a big swig of his favorite amber liquid and headed out of the house.  

Brian and Dan made a stunning couple as they walked into the club. Brian was used to people looking as Justin and he entered a room but with Dan it was different for some reason.  Both men had an air of being the alpha, being the pack leader. They didn't give the impression of being a couple. They gave the impression of being on the hunt. And they were.

After spending three hours on the dance floor Brian and Dan were both honing in on their selected prey. Each man had singled out 2 men that would be coming home with them. Brian had been drinking all night and had taken his share of poppers so he was feeling no pain except for the pain in his heart.

The men ended up in their hotel rooms with their tricks for the night. Brian let the mindless sex takeover.  About 4 a.m. Brian kicked the men out of the room and passed out on the bed feeling physically satisfied but how did he fill the hole in his soul.   

Brian hit Justin's icon on his phone. It was 3:00 in Minneapolis.  "Hey, Bri," came across the line. The voice was tired but not sleepy.

"Sunshine! Are ya' fuckin' someone? Did I interrupt? If you are I hope I did!"

Justin was sure Brian was drunk and high as a kite. "Where are you, Baby?  You are somewhere safe, aren't you? Are you with Dan?"

"I'm at the Plaza. Dan's in the next room. Don't know if he's alone?"

"It doesn't matter if he's alone, Baby.  Did you need something? It is kind of late."

"I need you.  I need your tight little ass. I need to wake up next to you." Brian's mood was crashing as they talked.  

"Sweety, you need to get in bed and go to sleep.  No more booze, no more drugs. I'll be home in 2 weeks.  Then you can do all that fun stuff to me. Get in bed, Brian. Are you in bed?

Brian climbed into the rumpled bed. "I'm in bed."

"Did you pull the blankets over you."

"Ya, I am all tucked in."

"OK, Baby.  Close your eyes and I will sing you to sleep."

"Love you, Sunshine. Come home to me. Yes, my eyes are shut."

Justin softly sang into the phone.

'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you' ~John Legend (All Of Me)

"Brian," Justin said softely into the phone. There was no response.  He hit the end button.

Jarod sat on the other end of the sofa stunned at what he just witnessed. He had tears in his eyes as Justin sang so sweetly in the phone.  

As Justin ended the call Jarod was there to take Justin in his arms and just hold him close.  Justin sobbed and clung to Jarod.

Jarod stroked Justin's hair until he got himself under control.  

"Sorry about that.  You didn't have to witness that whole mess."

"That was some conversation. Does that happen often?"  

"Not anymore.  Do you mind if I just go to bed now?  We have a long flight to Seattle. I think it is time we talk about some things."

"Sure, Justin."

Jarod slipped into his own room through the adjoining door. He saw the lights go off next door shortly after he shut off his own. About 2 hours later Jarod woke up to a noise he didn't recognize at first. He got out of bed and realized it was coming from Justin's room. He opened the door slowly. Justin was thrashing around in the bed.  The only thing he heard was 'watch out' and 'Michelle'. Just as Jarod got to the side of the bed Justin shouted and sat upright on the bed.

"Justin, Justin you are OK." Jarod sat on the edge of the bed and for the second time tonight Justin was clinging to Jarod. This time it took Justin much longer to calm down.  Jarod finally slid into the bed next to him just to make it less awkward keeping his arms around him. He just held him. Eventually Justin slipped back to sleep and soon Jarod joined him.

Justin was half awake and snuggled up against the warm body next to him.  He reached over and laid a hand on his chest. He moved his hand around and realized it wasn't Brian.  He snapped completely wake, drawing his hand away quickly and pulling away.

"Oh, God, Jared what are you doing here? No, don't tell me, I had a dream didn't I."

Jarod nodded. "Sorry, I guess I fall asleep after you did. You OK this morning? You had a rough night."

"Thank you for just being here and not asking a lot of questions. You really are a good friend. And, yes, I owe you some explanations.  Tomorrow's plane ride we can have a long talk."

Brian woke up the next morning with a hangover.  He felt like shit. Did he remember calling Sunshine?  He found his phone in bed with him and realized he must have.  And if he remembered correctly Justin sang him to sleep. He would call him a little later, before the show.   

There was a knock on his door.  "Hey, Brian, you awake." Dan's voice came through the door not too loudly.  

"Ya, I'm coming." Brian opened the door and Dan strode in.  He didn't look as bad as Brian but he obviously also was feeling the results of last night. "From the look on your face you had a successful evening also." Brian stated.

Dan got a sly smile.  "I have no complaints.  How about you?"

"it was a good fuck, what I remember of it."

"You were totally out of it.  I was a bit concerned how wasted you were."

"Let me guess, Sunshine made you promise to watch out for me."

"I wish I had someone who loved me half as much as that man loves you.  He knows you so well. He expected you to do what you did last night."

"And he gave me permission to do exactly what I did last night. I am not hiding anything from him."

"You two have an amazing relationship.  How about we head out and go home. I am thinking we both could use some food. "

As the left they reserved their rooms for the next weekend.  They stopped at a diner for some breakfast and then went home.  It was after noon by then. Brian climbed into bed and dozed off for a couple hours.  When he woke again he called Justin. It would be after 2:00 in Minneapolis.

The phone rang several times before going to voice mail.  Brian left a message asking him to call. Brian lit a cigarette and tried to remember last night.  He had been a mess when he called. He was still thinking about it when the phone rang.

"Hi Sunshine!"

"Sorry I missed your call.  I wanted to talk to you by myself so I threw Jarod out."

""Well, I think that is a great reason.  Now you can talk dirty to me with no one listening."

"Are you OK today?  You were a mess last night or I should say this morning."

"I'm sorry." Justin could hear Brian's regret in his voice.

"Brian, you didn't do anything wrong.  You were with Dan and you weren't at the house.  I wish you would take it easy on the poppers but …"

"I know, Sunshine, but you weren't surprised now, were you. Since you have Dan watching me." Brian chuckled a bit. "I guess I don't blame you.  Did I say anything stupid?"

"No, said you wanted to fuck me and I couldn't have agreed more.  Did you sleep well once you settled down?"

"Did you actually sing me to sleep?"

"You were getting really wound up so I thought I would try that."

"What did you sing to me?  Sing it again, please."

Justin sang the words to Brian.

Brian was quiet for a second when Justin finished. "I do love all of you. Justin Taylor."

"I love you too, Baby."  

They talked for a few more minutes when there was a knock on the door and Jarod's voice said, "Justin, we need to head over very soon."

"I'll be right now." Justin said to Jarod. He went back to the phone call. "I have to go, Brian.  We need to head to the gallery. In 2 weeks we will be together. I miss you, Baby, I love you."

"I love you too, Sunshine. I am making sure my calendar is completely clear while you are home."

They both said goodbye several times, not wanting to break the connection but eventually they hung up.

Monday morning came.

The art show wrapped up in Minneapolis and Jerod and Justin made sure everything was packed before heading to the airport for Seattle.

Brian knew he was in for another busy week. The busier he stayed the quicker Justin would be home.

 

Chapter 7

Justin and Jarod arrived at the airport and returned their car. They checked in and waited at the gate.  Justin's mood was subdued but Jarod could see he was in much better shape than last night.

"What did I promise to tell you about on this flight?  I will tell you about 'Life with Brian, the Early years.' By now you know so much about me just ask if you have questions.  But first, Jarod, last night, in bed, what happened?"

"You just had a nightmare.  I was there, that's all."

"In other words, I fell apart in your arms twice last night."  

"Justin you have been through so much. I am just glad it was my arms you could fall into."

They boarded the plane and got comfortable in first class.  As the rest of the plane began to load a young woman stopped by their seats. "You're Justin Taylor, aren't you?"

Jarod was on alert immediately. "I am."

The woman gushed, "I was at your show this week.  It was amazing! I have never seen work like yours. It's an honor to speak to you." The woman bent over and said something in Justin's ear before going back to her seat.

Once she had past, Justin started laughing.  He couldn't stop himself. Every time he had started getting control he started again.

"Take a deep breath and tell me what she said."

"She wants me to meet her to join the mile-high club." Justin started giggling again.

"You did tell me you have been with a girl, or woman, at least once."

"Yes, I have.  And once was enough for me. Seriously, it wasn't bad, it just didn't do anything for me. You have met my friend Daphne at Brian's office."

"Yes.  She was the woman you were with!"

"She is.  We are best friends.  We have been friends since we were little. You know this is taking things out of order. I might as well start at the beginning." Justin stopped talking as the flight attendant gave instructions and the plane took off.

Justin started at the beginning.  He told Jarod about going to Liberty Avenue one night when he was 17 years old. He told him about running into Brian and even about Gus being born that night.  He then went into detail about their first time.

"Brian had a major reputation and I am never sure what drew him to me but we had an instant attraction.  He was so gentle that night. He talked me through every step and by the end of one night he had taught me almost everything I know still to this day.  I do hope I have improved my skills." Justin laughed. "It was quite a night and I knew by the end of that night we were going to be together."

"From things you have said I take it Brian didn't have the same thoughts at the beginning?"

"I like to think he denied his feelings rather than didn't have them. You see, Brian came from a horrible family life.  He still struggles with feeling unworthy of love. Much of what happened goes back to his feeling unlovable. He used to fuck anyone he wanted, and they all wanted Brian Kinney.  Well, you just have to look at him and see why."

"He is a beautiful man."

"And I am just lucky enough that he ended up with me."

"Justin, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable but, you are a beautiful man, too. That's why I found it hard to believe you haven't been with anyone else."

"If I am honest, I don't know how many men I have been with.  Brian and I used to have date night which involved us finding other men to fuck together.  There were plenty without him around, too. Our relationship was very open. In some ways it still is but now we know we will be together forever.  Even if there are others on the side from time to time. I knew Brian couldn't go without sex the whole time I was gone so I gave him permission and we set guidelines, I am sure last night he had been with someone else before he called me, He called partly because of guilt and partly because he misses me."

"Can I ask what other guidelines you set for the tour?"

"We can't be with someone more than once.  He can't bring anyone to our house. And we can't be with anyone we know."

"That gives you a pretty big field to play with."

"Yes, it does," Justin said, "And I have to admit I may fall to temptation soon.  I am really starting to feel the need. My problem is I know it will just be empty sex without Brian.  Now I know how good sex feels and I really, really am getting horny. Sex with Brian on the phone doesn't help." He laughed. "Can I admit something to you?"

"Please."

"Last night just having you close to me, holding me I almost turned to you. "

"Why didn't you?"

"Because that would have broken one of our rules."

The attendant started the landing instructions and the men fell silent.

Brian arrived at the office on Monday morning.  He had recovered from Saturday's activities. And he was ready to work with a vengeance so he had two days with Justin when he got home, not that he planned to let him leave the bedroom, well at least, the house. But the truth is as much as he missed the sex, he missed Justin more.  He missed talking to him, laughing with him, eating with him. He missed everything about him.

Daphne greeted Brian.  "How was your weekend?" "

"It was fine. Pretty uneventful."

"I doubt that, Brian.  Yes, I know about your arrangement and although you are still tense, I can tell you did 'something' this weekend that took the edge off. And no I don't want to know details."

Brian had to smile at this feisty girl.  No, she was a woman now, but he had known her since she was in high school.  She had always spoke her mind. He loved her for that. 'OK, yes I did have a little fun but can I tell you the best part of my weekend?"

"BRIAN! Do you really think I want to hear....."

"The best part of my weekend was when Justin sang to me on the phone."

Daphne's face softened, "Ah, Brian."

"I miss him SO much!"

Daphne gave Brian a long hug. "So do I." She gave Brian a kiss before walking out the door.

As the days went on Daphne saw a pattern. The closer it came to the weekend the more Brian drank in the office. By Friday, Brian had 'cocktails' with lunch and continued throughout the afternoon.  She knew he shouldn't be on the street alone.

Daphne called Dan. "Hey Dan, this is Daphne at Brian's office.   

"Hey, Daphne, why do I think this isn't a social call."

"Because it isn't.  Brian has had a rough day.  Do you think you could stop by around 5 and take Brian home?"

"I'll be there."

"Thank you.  I wasn't sure what else to do."

"I will take care of him.  It is amazing how well he can function even when he is so messed up.

Dan was true to his word and took him home at 5.  

Brian's weekend was a repeat of the weekend before. He continued to drink on Friday until he passed out.  On Saturday he slept it off and then went to the club with Dan again, staying at the hotel.

Dan was glad Justin would be home before next weekend.  He knew they talked often but Dan was starting to think Brian literally couldn't live without Justin. He had never met a couple that was so close.  So, in love. They truly were two people that were one unit. Dan hoped that being together might give Brian a couple good weeks.

Jarod and Justin enjoyed Seattle and had come to a comfortable place in their friendship.  Justin knew Jarod could handle the setup in San Francisco and Justin needed to see Brian. His body physically ached for him every day.

It was the last full day they would spend in Seattle. Jarod knew Justin needed a distraction. He knocked on Justin's door at 10:00 a.m. Justin opened the door.  He smiled but looked tired. "Hey, Jarod. You heading somewhere for the day?"

"No, I'm not.  We are."

"I really don't feel...."

"I am not going to take no for an answer.  You are coming with me. Be ready at 10:30."

"Can I at least know where we are going?"

"Nope."

Justin reluctantly got in the shower.  He really just wanted to stay in bed but maybe Jerod was right.   

At 10:30 a.m. Jarod knocked on the door again.  Justin met him at the door

"OK, so where are we off to?" Justin asked with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes but he was trying.  

Jarod didn't answer until they were in the car and driving.  Finally, Jarod pointed at something and Justin looked that way. "We are going to the Space Needle, Baby!" Jarod smiled.

The men found parking and headed to the top.  

Justin and Jarod roamed the observation deck. Justin had to admit this might have been a good idea.  He would just have moped around the hotel if Jarod hadn't pushed him.

The men began looking at Elliot Bay.  Justin saw something in the water. "Jarod, is that what I think it is?"

"If you think you see Orca you are right."

The men stood there watching a pod of whales.

"Do you see the calf?" Jarod asked.

"No, where is it?"

"It is hard to see." Jarod slipped his arm around Justin's shoulder so he could see where he was pointing.

"I see it.  Look at them.  It is so amazing!" They both stood there, Jarod's arm still draped around Justin's shoulder, watching the orca until they started heading back out to sea.

Justin looked at Jarod. "That was amazing."  

"It really was." Without thinking in his excitement Jarod kissed Justin. "Just amazing."

The two men separated.  Jarod looked a bit sheepish.  "Sorry about that. I guess I got swept away in the beauty."

Justin laughed. "No problem. By the way, I promise you when I get back from my time at home it is going to be my job to get you laid. I know how bad I need it.  I am sure you do to."

"I am going to hold you to that."

Monday Justin called Daphne to check on Brian's schedule.

"Hey, Daph, what is Brian's schedule like on Tuesday?"  

"He only has a couple appointments, why?"

"Are they things you could move around or pass to someone else?" "Just a second," The phone went silent for 30 seconds. "Justin, I can make something work.  What's up?"

"I switched my ticket and am flying home overnight.  I will be home by 9:00 a.m. I am going to surprise him at the office but then we will be leaving."

Daphne could hear the smile in Justin's voice. "I will make sure he is free to leave."

"Thanks, Daph!  By the way, I miss you, too." And he was off.

Justin said goodbye to Jarod and took a taxi to the airport as soon as the show closed.  He did his best to sleep on the plane. The comfortable seats in first class helped but he was so excited he didn't rest much. Justin's plane was landing as Brian was leaving for work.  As soon as he landed he texted Daphne to let her know everything was on schedule.

Justin could barely sit still in the back of the taxi.  He only had a small carryon so baggage wasn't going to slow him down.  Justin barely waited for the taxi to stop and threw money at the driver.  He walked into Kinnetek. He stopped by Daphne's desk and gave her a quick kiss but kept walking to Brian's office.  He opened the door to find Brian's back to it. He slipped in as quietly as he could and walked up behind Brian. Trying to disguise his voice he said, "Mr. Kinney?"

"Yes?" He turned to see whose voice it was. For a couple seconds Brian couldn't move. He looked up into the face of his Sunshine. He slowly stood up and, wondering if it was a dream, he lightly touched Justin's hair and then his cheek.

Daphne couldn't help herself.  She stood in the doorway and watched their reunion.

Brian's finger slid down and traced Justin's lips and then ever so slowly he claimed those lips with his own. Brian's arms pulled Justin in as tightly as he could and Justin's hands crept around Brian's neck.

Tears rolling down her face, Daphne slipped back out the door.  

After the men clung to each other for several minutes they slowly separated. Justin smiled up into eyes sparkling with tears. "Hi."

"Hi, yourself," Brian replied.

"Hope you don't mind me coming home a couple hours early."  

Brian grabbed Justin again and this time the gentleness was replaced with need. He pinned Justin to his desk and, slipping on a condom. He firmly entered him with a need he didn't know could exist. They both let out a cry of joy and release after only a few strokes. They collapsed on the couch together where they just clung to each other listening to the other's heartbeat.

"Let's get the hell out of here," Brian said in a voice roughened with need. Softly, in Justin's ear he said, "I hope you don't have any plans for the next 2 days because I am not letting you out of our bed!"

As the men walked passed Daphne's desk Justin pulled away from Brian and walked over to his friend.  He gave her a big hug. "Thanks, Daph."

"You knew he was coming this morning?" Brian looked at Daphne.

She nodded with a big grin.

"And you didn't tell me?"

She nodded again.

"She also cleared your schedule for you already." Justin commented.

Brian walked to Daphne and kissed her cheek. "Thanks, Daphne." His arm instinctively snagged Justin's waist again. "I am out of here until Friday.  DO NOT CALL ME UNLESS THE PLACE IS ON FIRE. Second thought, just call the fire department. I couldn't do anything anyway."

"Walk or taxi?" Brian asked.

"I really could use a walk, if you don't mind."

"Sunshine, you could ask anything of me today." He pulled him even closer.

"Have I told you lately just how much I love you?”

“You have but I can never here that too much." Brian pushed Justin up against a light pole and kissed him with passion that made a promise of things to come.

Justin slowly pushed Brian off him.  "We don't want to get arrested for public exposure.  I really don't want to spend our time together in lock up."

"I have missed you, Sunshine." Brian laughed.  He took Justin's hand and headed for home.

Justin punched in the gate code and they were barely inside before Justin slammed Brian against the wall. As Justin slid down Brian's body to his knees, he looked up and said, "Who knew all those nights at Babylon would come in handy." He ever so slowly unzipped Brian's trousers releasing his rock-hard cock. Justin's talented mouth claimed what he considered his.

Both men were too distracted to notice movement in the pathway. "Excuse me, guys, but I have an appointment." Dan chuckled. He patted Justin's head as he walked past. "Welcome home, Justin."

When Brian and Justin had finished the men made it the rest of the way to their home.  

Once in the house, they couldn't seem to stop kissing. Their tongues did a ballet as the men clung to each other.

Brian finally forced himself to take a step back and took a deep breath.  "I plan to take this upstairs very soon but I am sure you are hungry."

"Well, I did just have a high protein boost a few minutes ago."

Brian laughed out loud.  "God I MISSED you. Can I make you some scrambled eggs?

"Brian, don't take this wrong, but I will make some scrambled eggs."

"Even better!  Then my hands will be free to do other things!" He snuggled up behind Justin as Justin whipped up the eggs.  His hands undid Justin's fly and he slipped his right-hand in. He gently massaged Justin's genitals as he slipped his left hand under Justin's shirt and his finger lightly circled first one of Justin's nipples and then the other.

Justin groaned and leaned against Brian.  "I am going to burn the eggs."

"Must be because you are so hot." Brian said and they both groaned at Brian’s pun.

The eggs were eaten but neither of them tasted much.  They were fuel for the day to come and that was all that counted.

After the dishes were in the dishwasher, the men walked up the stairs slowly, holding hands as they went.

Slowly they undressed each other. As the last of the clothes hit the floor Justin hesitated.  "I really should take a shower. It has been a long day and night." As he started to walk toward the bathroom Brian caught his hand.

"Please don't." He brought his face close to Justin's chest. He inhaled deeply through his nose.  "I have missed the scent of you," With that Brian laid Justin down on the bed and slid up next to him. Since he had his needs met a couple times already he now planned on making love to every inch of this man.   

Brian started at Justin's head.  He breathed in the scent of his hair.  He could smell the shampoo Justin liked and the styling product that always made it look 'just right.'  As he moved downward he dipped his tongue into Justin's ear and traced the curve of it and then trailed his tongue down Justin's jawline to his lips. He saw the sensual curve of that perfect mouth.  As his mouth touched Justin's the reflex for both was to entwine their tongues. Brian tasted coffee and eggs. He also though he might still taste himself a bit. Brian feasted on his mouth for some time, exploring every corner inside, and out.  

Finally, Brian dragged his mouth downward. His tongue made a trail that felt like fire inside Justin. He tried grabbing at Brian but Brian locked his fingers with Justin and continued by latching onto one of Justin's nipples and sucked like he was getting nourishment.

Justin whimpered. Brian was the only man that touched him so deeply.

Brian continued downward. When he got to Justin's navel Brian dipped his tongue into that perfect belly button.  As he dropped even lower he stopped licking and just gently blew on Justin's warmed skin. Brian heard Justin's sharp intake of air as he continued to blow as he hovered over his pubic hair and then over his strained penis.  

This time Justin's movement was almost violent in the shiver it sent through his entire body.

"Brian."  

Brian looked up at Sunshine. Justin had tears on his cheeks.

"Please, I need you now." Was all he could manage to say.

Brian slipped on a condom.  He put Justin's legs on his shoulders and then slip up his body. Ever so gently he slipped into Justin.  He continued upward so he could look at Justin's face. He interlocked his fingers with Justin's on either side of the pillow. He leaned over completely filling Justin as he ran his tongue over the trail of tears and then just drug his lips over the same trail until he had to claim those lips again. He then lost total control.  He had never had an orgasm that powerful before and at the same moment Justin shuddered and gasped.

Both men just lay there for a long time.  Brian eventually moved off of Justin and Justin gathered him in his arms.  

Neither wanted to move or say anything. Neither had ever experienced anything like that before. After what felt like seconds and like an eternity all at the same time Justin finally moved a bit.

"Brian, Baby? You awake?" He spoke quietly just in case he had dozed.

"Hey, Sunshine. Please don't tell me you are ready for a repeat performance because I think I need a little more time to recuperate."

Justin was gently running his fingers through Brian's mussed hair. "No, I am good for a bit," Justin laughed. "I, We.......That was beyond amazing."

"I can't argue that one. Holy, Shit!"

"I really could use a shower now. Will you join me?"

"I am taking advantage of every second I can see you naked the next couple days." He winked at Justin as they got up and headed to the bathroom.

They took advantage of wet skin and the sensation that caused.  Soon Brian is on his knees satisfying Justin's need again.

It was late afternoon by the time they got dressed in some casual clothes and went downstairs.   

"Hey, Bri, I hate to do it but I have a message I need to take care of.  There is hiccup at San Francisco that Jarod needs an answer to."

"No problem.  I should check in at the office before everyone is gone for the day, too."

Justin stepped out onto the patio while Brian headed to his office area.

Justin called Jarod who picked up on the second ring.

"I am SO sorry to bother you, Justin. But I wasn't sure what to do about this." Jarod went on to explain one of the frames was damaged and the gallery wanted to know if he wanted it reframed of the framed fixed.

After hearing the description, Justin explained what he wanted done.

Justin knew Jarod far too well by now.  There was a hesitation in his response. "Ok, what else is up?"

Jarod laughed, "I am guessing you have been, probably several times, from the relaxed tone of your voice."

Justin nearly fell out of the chair he was sitting in.  He just laughed. "Yes, you would be right there. How about you? Have you had any time to go out? You would have your choice in San Francisco, whether you are in the mood for male or female.  You do know you are a hot commodity to men and women, don't you?"

Justin realized Brian was standing next to him and smiled up at him.  Brian kissed the top of his head and sat down next to him, taking his hand.

On the other end of the phone Jarod was fairly quiet so Justin continued. "I know you don't want indiscriminate sex but trust me it has its place.  But if you never get out there it isn't going to happen."

"I'm waiting for my wingman to get back here to help me find the right one."

Justin chuckled.  "OK, you got it."

After another minute of discussing the show Justin and Jarod said goodbye.

Brian pulled Justin's hand up to his mouth and kissed his palm. His curiosity then got the better of him. "You aren't telling me a guy that looks like Jarod has never had sex before"

"Of course he has, but only with a few women and he is looking to explore. He wants to have his first male experience but he is nervous and doesn't have a clue how to go out there and look."

"Why didn't you just screw him? You have done virgins before and I am sure you gave them a good time." Brian started licking up Justin's arm.

"That never crossed my mind since it would be breaking one of our rules."

Brian tugged on Justin's arm until he got up and sat on Brian's lap. Brian started nipping on Justin's neck.  It almost hurt but as soon as he was going ask him to stop he would lick and kiss the spot before going to another spot."

"That feels amazing but I really can't have a neck full of red marks later this week."

"Spoil sport." He claimed Justin's lip and laid his hand on Justin's crotch.

Justin's cock instantly sprung to life.  "Now look what you've done," Justin laughed.  

"Well, since I am the cause, I guess I better find the remedy." Laughing the two men went back in the house.

I really do need that 'remedy' but let's order dinner so it gets here before midnight. I am starving.  

Brian ordered half the menu from their favorite Chinese place. And then went in for his appetizer.  Before Justin realized it Brian had his pants down and his mouth was firmly locked on Justin's dick. It didn't take long and Justin lost all control. As Justin stood to straighten his pants the gate buzzed.  

"I'll grab it. You pour the Saki." Justin jogged to the gate. As he got there Dan was just coming through it carrying their delivery.

"Hey, Dan, Sorry I didn't greet you earlier." He grinned at Dan.  

"Ya, I would say something had just come up," Dan laughed. "I am really glad you are home for a few days."

"Has he been that bad?"

"You were right.  He drinks far too much when you aren't here and then when he throws in some of his poppers it isn't pretty. I know you know we have gone out a couple night."

"I knew Brian couldn't go without sex while I was gone.  That's why I gave him permission. Celibacy just Isn't in Brian's makeup."

"You know him so well."

"Well, by now he would have gone out and found someone to fuck and if he felt he had to hide it from me would just kill him. Dan, why don't you come for lunch tomorrow. Make it around 1:00. By then we will both need a break." Justin and Dan both laughed.

"Where did you go to pick that up?" Brian kidded Justin.

"I ran into Dan.  He is coming for lunch tomorrow. I figured we could quit messing around for a couple hours." He smiled at Brian.

The next few hours they watched a couple movies while they fed each other Chinese and drank Saki.

When the second movie finished they were feeling now pain. They made sure everything was locked up for the night and headed upstairs.

They laid in bed and talked about Kinnetik and the tour. They just enjoyed being in each other's company.  They were just together. They drifted off in each other's arms.

Around 3:00 a.m. Brian woke up to Justin thrashing around next to him.  "Justin. Sunshine. Baby." He stroked Justin's face and held him close.

In his sleep filled brain Justin said, "Jarod?"

"No, Sunshine, it's me?" Has Justin been sleeping with Jarod? Was Brian's first thought but he wasn't going there.

"Oh, Brian!" He clung to him.

After he had calmed down, Brian asked, "Has this been happening more often?”

“It has happened a couple times.  The last time Jarod heard me yell and came to check on me. It had been a really bad one and Jarod just sat with me until I calmed down and then he fall asleep sitting up in my bed.  Honestly, Brian, I know you can't be with me. I don't know what I would have done without him a couple times. Besides you, I have never had a guy friend, not really. Yes, your friends became my friends but Jarod is my first."

"Now I know for fact, I was your first. " They both laughed. "You know, Justin, if something would happen between you and Jarod I think I would understand.  He's your friend and you want what's best for him. If you screwed him doesn't mean you would love me less."

"Brian, what are you saying? We made a deal.  Jarod is a friend. We know each other well. It would be like having sex with Michael or Emmett.  It isn't going to happen."

"Let's talk about it in the morning.  And we do need to talk about this but right now, I need to sleep."

Brian pulled Justin close and drifted off.  Justin was still thinking about what Brian had said.  Why would he say something like that? He had no intention of sleeping with Jarod. Well, technically he had slept with Jarod.  Maybe that is what he meant. With that Justin dropped off in a peaceful sleep.

Brian woke early.  He wasn't sure why but he decided it was contentment.  He slept well with Sunshine by his side. He started thinking about their conversation in the middle of the night.  Had he really told Justin he could fuck Jarod? He knew he had and the reason was clear to him. It was to protect Justin's feelings if it happened.

Justin reached up and stroked Brian's face. "Good morning, my Love," Justin scooched up so he could kiss Brian. I hope you slept well after I woke you up."

Brian kissed Justin's neck and said, "I slept better than I have in 6 week. I just need to hear you snore to sleep I guess."

Justin swatted at him. "I don't snore."

"Oh, Sunshine, you do but I love hearing it." He gave him a kiss that made Justin's toes tingle. "So, besides screwing several times today, what would you like to do?"  

"After our shower," He made sure he looked at Brian's face and winked, "I would love to walk to the grocery and pick out some things for lunch with Dan.  After lunch I don't care what we do. Do you have any thoughts?"

Brian leered at Justin and laugher, "Let's plan on going out to a late dinner.  We can play the afternoon by ear. Watching a movie with you by my side is all I need."

Justin rolled on top of Justin.  I have to piss and then will you meet me in the shower?" And he was in the bathroom.

Justin started the shower and stepped in.  Within seconds Brian had joined him. Brian was all over him and within a minute Justin was against the glass and Brian was already inside him. He turned his head back so Brian could kiss him. He wrapped one hand around to Justin's front and started sliding up and down on his wet cock.  Soon they were relaxed against each other.

"Brian?"

"Yes, Sunshine?"

"Why did you say I should have sex with Jarod last night? You did say that didn't you?"

He turned Justin around so they could look at each other. "I didn't say you SHOULD have sex with him but if you do have sex I would understand.  Let's get out of here and continue this conversation.

As they dried off Brian explained his thoughts.  "Justin, I believe the two of you are good friends by now. And as much as there is a part of me that is extremely jealous of that relationship I can see he is good for you and you feel comfortable with him.  I am grateful he is there for you when I call you drunk out of my mind. He is there for you when you have a nightmare and I can't be but I understand how something could happen. If you wake up and he is there something could happen in your fear, in your feelings. If something happens I don't want you to feel that you betrayed me.  Does that make sense?"

Justin pressed his still naked body up against Brian.  "That may be the most grown up thing you have ever said!" Justin leaned in and kissed him.  "I have no intention of sleeping with him but if a situation occurs I will be honest with you. And you never have to doubt my love for you.  You are the only man I will ever love. I can't give my love to someone else because you hold all of it."

The time Justin had in New York City was flying by.  They had lunch with Dan Tuesday. They had dinner with Daphne and Gale on Wednesday and now it was Thursday evening already. Tomorrow morning Brian would go off to work and Justin would take a cab to the airport.   

They sat on the sectional in front of the TV just touching and kissing, letting the need slowly build. Justin was tracing the shape of Brian's lips absent mindedly. "You know it is less than six weeks before you are meeting me in Austin!"

"You know as well as I do that is just about the same about of time but we made the first 6 weeks and now we know we can make it the next 6.

They delayed going upstairs, not because they didn't want to make love but because they didn't want the visit to end.  

"Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to the airport tomorrow?" Brian asked Justin as he ran gold locks through his fingers.

"Brian, you need to get back to work and there is nothing you can do at the airport for me.  The cab will drop me off and I will board my plane."

"I know but..."

"No buts. Now I don't know about you but I am ready for the two of us to climb those stairs and...."

Brian captured Justin's mouth and stood up with Justin clinging to his neck.

Just before dawn Justin was awakened to Brian's kisses. When he saw Justin was awake he softly said, "I want to feel you inside of me.  I want to remember you there for the next six weeks."

Justin gently entered Brian from behind him.  With every thrust his need built.

"Harder, Sunshine, please harder."

Justin slammed into him with all the power he could and after just a few more strokes they both gasped in pleasure.

Brian turned and wrapped his arms around Justin. "Thank you, Sunshine. Always remember to be careful.  I can't live without you." And with that Brian was out of bed to get ready for his day.

Justin just lay in bed and watched him.  He still had an hour before he had to catch a cab.

Brian stretched his departure out as long as he could.  Justin walked down the stairs with him and at the door they clung to each other drawing as much energy as they could from each other.

"I will call you when I arrive. Don't forget I love you Brian Kinney.  No matter what I will always love you."

"I love you, Sunshine" And with that Brian was out the door.

 

Chapter 8

Brian walked into work whistling.  Daphne had known Brian over 6 years and she didn't remember him ever whistling.

"Welcome Back, Brian.  I am afraid there are a lot of messages waiting for you on your desk.  There is also a teleconference scheduled for 10:00 with the home office.   

"Thanks, Daph." He kissed her on the cheek and walked into his office.

Brian could see there was a lot he missed but glancing at things it looked like everything had been handled correctly.  He dove into his tasks feeling refreshed and loved.

Justin landed in San Francisco shortly after 1:00 p.m.  He felt the melancholia of separation wash over him while on the flight but now his mood was lifting at the thought of the continued tour and, of course, he had a new challenge.  He needed to get Jarod laid.

Jarod was waiting for him at luggage pick up.  "Hey, Jarod, so great to see you." Justin gave him a friendly hug and kiss on the cheek. "It's good to see you."

"I noticed you didn't say you missed me." Jarod laugher.

"I actually did miss seeing that face every day. However...."

"It is hard to miss someone when you are making love to the man of your dreams."

"Glad you understand." Justin laughed.

San Francisco's show was a hit.  Each stop more people were recognizing him.  This made him more uncomfortable and put Jarod on point for the job he was hired for.  He was ever vigilant to make sure Justin was safe. Justin did take Jarod out on Friday after the gallery closed.  After being recognized and nearly mobbed shortly after they arrived, Jerod didn't feel the situation was secure and they left.

Los Angeles was the next stop.  Justin hadn't been back in a few years but had spent time here when Rage had been a failed movie attempt.  He made a couple contacts and met up with a couple or acquaintances.

It didn't take long for Justin to realize this was not going to be the place for Jarod.  The men they met up with were all far more aggressive than timid Jarod could deal with at a personal level.  For a man that was so comfortable dealing with Justin's security he was not secure in who he was. The two of them did go to a club one night.  Justin felt like dancing so he hoped Jarod danced even if it was just with him. They both needed to loosen up a bit. They danced and drank. Justin soon found out what a great dancer Jarod was.  He couldn’t figure out why a guy with moves like that was self conscious so much of the time. It felt great to just move to the music.

After several driving beats the music changed. Justin looked at Jarod. “You game?”

Jarod smiled, “Sure.’

Dancing close with Jarod reminded him of dancing with Brian.  Jarod and Brian were nearly the same height though Jarod was broader.

Justin draped his arms over Jarod’s shoulders and Jarod’s arms went around Justin’s waist. At first the space between them was intentional but as the music took them away their bodies pressed together. Justin’s head ended up on Jarod’s chest. Jarod’s hand moved up and down Justin’s back.

Justin looked up into Jarod’s face. Just on instinct Justin raised himself on his tiptoes and Jarod lowered his mouth to Justin.  They both stopped moving and their arms tightened around each other. The kiss deepened. Jarod’s tongue slipped into Justin’s mouth and Justin sucked gently on it. Jarod let out a groan and pulled his mouth away. “God, Justin.”  Jarod broke all physical contact. “I am SO sorry. I am not sure what just happened.”

Justin took a steadying breath and then laughed a little. “Now I known what the problem is with your love life.  That, my man, was a kiss. A kiss that curls your toes. A kiss that blows your mind. A kiss that gets you horny as hell.” Justin laughed. “That was a kiss that makes you want to go to the back room and get sucked off by any twink.”

Justin took a breath.  “Or it was a kiss to be shared with a lover.  A kiss that warms your heart. A kiss that makes you yearn for just one more.”

They walked off the dance floor together. “I think it is time to head to the hotel.” Justin said.  “It has been a long day.”

In the taxi heading back Jarod didn’t know what to say. Justin didn’t know what Jarod was thinking but he needed to rescue him. “So Jarod, what are you thinking?”

“I am thinking I better start looking for a new job.”

“Oh come on, Jarod.  It was a kiss. Brian kisses his best friend like that all the time.”

Jarod looked at him in disbelief.

“I am serious.  The difference is you are new to this and I wasn’t very fair.  I needed tonight. Lord knows I am horny as hell and would love to rip off your clothes right now and have my way with you but,” Justin took a breath, “You deserve far better than that. Your first time shouldn’t be sober, or close to it, with someone who is in the moment with you.  Not dreaming of someone else.” Justin looked over at Jarod. “Does that make sense?”

Jarod thought  for a minute.” Yes it does.  All accept the part about Brian kissing his best friend like that.”

Justin laughed out loud.  “You have to know their relationship for that to make sense.  I just am pointing out that a kiss isn’t sex. And, I don’t know if you realize this but, you are an amazing kisser.  Brian is the only other one who had that immediate effect on me. Holy Shit! I need Brian and we need to find you a stud...SOON.”

With that, Jarod started laughing.  The tension was broke and both men slumped in the car seat.  

After being dropped off, Jarod made sure Justin was safe in his room and he went to his own.  Jarod didn’t go to sleep. His mind was racing. He had never wanted someone so bad in his life.  The thing was that Justin was probably right. They were both drunk and horny. They would have had the same reaction no matter who they were kissing.  He wished he had half Justin’s experience. He wished he had any experience. He had never felt like kissing a woman. He needed to find a man he could love.

Brian and Justin tried to talk at least 3 times a week. As the weeks went on Justin noticed the slurred speech late at night again.  There had been another night he had sung Brian to sleep. He was glad they would be together again in 10 days.

Brian’s schedule seemed to be lightening up a bit.  He had some sound clients now and he really didn’t want any more.  The problem that this was he had more time to be alone. More time to drink.

One Friday Brian just went home and started drinking. He sat in the hot tub with his bottle of Jack. He saw Dan coming across the grass.  He was sure Daphne had called him.

“Dan, you are just in time to strip and help me knock off the rest of this bottle.”

Dan shrugged and did just that.  They passed the bottle back and forth both getting drunker than the should. Once they finished the bottle they got out and dried off.  They could barely stand up and ended up hanging onto each other as they did.

“I could use a pizza. What do you think?”

Dan picked up his phone where he had dropped it and after a few clicks he said.  
“Pizza will be here in 30.  We should probably get dressed before it arrives.”

Brian moved toward Dan. “I really do like the view the way it is.” He wrapped a hand around Dan’s neck and kissed him, sliding his other hand to Dan’s dick.  Dan leaned into the kiss wrapping an arm around Brian’s waist. After another minute Dan gently pushed Brian away.

“Hey, buddy. If we don’t stop this we are both going to hate ourselves in the morning.”

With that Brian took a step back and shook his head trying to clear his thoughts.  He reached for his briefs. As he pulled them on he lost his balance and fell on his but on the ground. Brian looked up at Dan and dissolved in tears. “I miss him. Why is it I can handle 2 businesses.  I used to handle a different fuck 5 nights a week. But I can’t be without him.”

Dan sat down on the grass next to him.  “It’s a little thing called love.” Dan smiled at him.  Tomorrow night we will go out and find a couple fucks for you.” Brian looked at him and nodded.

They sat there until the buzzer rang.  Dan grabbed his pants and walked to the gate bringing back the pizza.

The men sat on the patio in silence eating their dinner both with their own thoughts.

Justin couldn’t believe they were packing the show up in LA and would be headed for Austin tomorrow.  That meant only a few more days until he saw Brian. It was Wednesday. Brian was supposed to arrive next Tuesday.  He began feeling like a little boy. The excitement was growing.

His relationship with Jarod had come back to an even keel after a couple awkward days. He really was glad he had a friend like him.

Back in New York Brian continued his pattern of drinking too early and too much.  Daphne had seen enough. She had made a few phone calls. One to Dan, one to the airline, and one to Jarod.

“Hey, Jarod, this is Daphne.  I hope everything is good in Texas.”

“Other than dealing with a 6 year old waiting for his playmate to come over and play.”
That is why I am calling.” Daphne chuckled. “Mine is acting like a sullen teenager that is trying to drown his feelings. But, I found a solution.”  Daphne went on to tell Jarod Brian would be coming tomorrow instead of next week.

“You are brilliant!”

“Now I just have to get Brian on the plane sober enough they will let him on.”

Daphne texted the details to Jarod and put her plan in place.

Dan had gone into Brian’s place while he was at work and packed his luggage and put the suitcases in his car.

Daphne did her best to keep Brian extra busy to he didn’t have a chance to drink as much.  

On his end, Jarod made sure Justin had finished everything he needed to OK and talked to the gallery about Justin taking off a couple days which they agreed to.  He then upgraded Justin’s room to the penthouse suite.

A driver was lined up to pick Brian up at the airport.  He was bringing Brian to the suite. Jarod would then come up with an excuse to Justin up to the top floor.

Everything in New York went off as planned.  When Brian realized he had been duped he said a few choice words about Daphne but then broke out into a smile and said he owed her a raise.

Brian arrived in Austin but in true Brian fashion he didn’t go to the hotel but went straight to the gallery.  He was dressed in Armani and had a dozen red roses. He walked in and people instinctually parted for him to enter. Justin’s back was to the door as he talked to an attractive woman. Brian took a couple steps  into the room and it was obvious he had caught her attention from the look of lust that crossed her face.

Justin turned to see what had caught her attention. Before his head could dictate his heart had his legs pumping.  He didn’t remember crossing the room. All he remembered was being in Brian’s embrace and feeling his lips as the pressed against his. The woman had a flash of disappointment but then started clapping as did all the patrons. Jarod had watched it all unfold. There was nothing that made him happier than seeing Justin in the arms of his love.

After the initial greeting Justin pulled himself together back into the professional artist he was.

Brian moved to the corner by Jarod and watched Justin work the room. He shook Jarod’s hand and thanked him for his part of the plan.

“Anything to keep him happy.” He gestured toward Justin.

“He is getting good that that.” He had never seen Justin look so comfortable when he was the center of attention, unless you count the times he was a gogo dancer.

“He is a pro.”

The gallery emptied and the doors were locked. Jarod looked around for Justin and found him exactly where he expected to.  In Brian’s arms.

“Excuse me for interrupting but you two will need this.” He handed Justin a keycard. “Our stuff has been moved upstairs. You 2 are in the Penthouse and I am in the room across the hall.  It is made for security personnel. I am sure it is perfectly safe because you can’t even take the elevator up without the keycard.”

Justin broke free from Brian long enough to give Jarod a quick kiss. “Thank you for all this.”

“It is Daphne you have to thank and Dan I believe had a part.  I just followed instructions. The gallery doesn’t expect you back until next weekend.  I will handle things at this end. Just let me know if there is anything I can do for you.  Otherwise I will contact you on Friday.”

Justin gave Jarod another quick hug and Brian and Justin were out the door on their way to paradise.

The took the hotel limo from the gallery to the hotel.  By the time they arrived both of them were having a hard time breathing normally.  Using their keycard the took the elevator up to the top floor. By the time the elevator made it up to the 20th floor half their clothes was on the floor of the elevator.  Their breathing was heavy and erratic. They were one body with a frenzy of arms and legs. They couldn’t get close enough. When Brian finally entered Justin contentment fell over both of them and they made love until the sun was peeking over the horizon. The finally collapsed in contentment and slept until noon.

Brian called room service and had coffee, rolls, and fruit sent up.  When it was delivered the morning paper was also on the cart. The server looked a bit surprised. “Um, good afternoon gentlemen.  Looking at Justin, wrapped in the hotel’s robe. “Sir, I just want to tell you how amazing I think your work it. I had the privilege of seeing it with my college art class. I can feel every stroke on the canvas.” He looked over at Brian, “And I think I know where that passion comes from now.” He was nearly hyperventilating just being in the room with these two gorgeous men.

Justin caught Brian’s eye and without saying anything they agreed it was the servers lucky day. Brian picked up the phone and called room service back explaining they would like the server to assist them for about 45 minutes.  

Justin walked over to the server and started unbuttoning his uniform. He stopped a second and looked at the young man.”You game for some adventure?” All he could do was nod. What’s your name?”

“Dean”

“How old are you?”

“I turned 21 last week. Actually on the day we saw your paintings.”

By now, Brian had circled behind Dean and pulled the unbuttoned uniform off his shoulders.  Underneath was a very well muscled young man.

The next 30 minutes Justin and Brian schooled Dean on the art of lust and creativity.

45 minutes later he was walking out the door straightening his uniform with a smile on his face.

Justin and Brian collapsed on the bed. “Now that was fun!’ Justin said.

Justin rolled on his stomach and propped his chin on Brian’s chest looking at his face. “You know I miss having sex with you every day but I just miss you nearly every minute.”

“Only nearly?”  Brian cocked his finger telling Justin to come up closer.  

Justin drug his tongue up Brian’s chest, finding one nipple and then the other.

Brian grabbed him by his upper arms, “Get the fuck up here.” He claimed those lips he loved so much.

An hour later they were they were still in bed.  “I think we should do something.” Justin said.

“Haven’t we been doing something all morning?” Justin swatted Brian.

“I mean actually leave the room, the hotel! I might start thinking you don’t want to be seen with me.”  

“More like I don’t want to share you with anyone. You are being recognized more every day. I am greedy. I want you all to myself. But what were you thinking?”

“ I want to go on a bat cruise.”

Brian looked at him like he had lost his mind.  

“I am serious. Does it help if I tell you we can rent the boat for just the 2 of us and it happens at sundown.  And when we get done I will screw your brains out.” He kissed him just to forecast what could be.

“You know I can’t turn you down. Your wish is my command and when we get back my command is your duty.”

“I can live with that.”

They had an early dinner since they hadn’t eaten much all day and then headed down to the boat they had reserved.  It was muggy, hot evening. Being on the water helped things feel a little cooler. It didn’t help the two men refused to go without physical contact at all times.

The boat was positioned for the best viewing.  It started. First the captain pointed out just a few specks in the sky.  The there were a few more and then more still. Soon the sky was filled with bats heading out to feed. Neither Brian or Justin said anything.  The sheer numbers were amazing.

As the numbers tapered off Justin leaned over to Brian and brushed his lips over Brian’s.  “Thanks for coming with me.”

“I have to say bat watching has never been on my to do list but this was pretty amazing. Now I think you have to hold up your end of the deal.”

Justin turned his back to Brian and raised his ass. Brian swatted it. “Ouch.” Justin jumped. Brian smirked.

As they walked back to the hotel Justin started singing softly, “All of me loves all of you.” That was about all he got out before Brian brought his lips down on his.

“Baby, I think we should get back to the hotel.”  

They walked briskly the rest of the way. Justin stopped at the elevator. “You go up.  I will be up in five minutes.” He leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. “Just get comfortable.”

True to his word he was arrived less than 5 minutes later.  He had a mysterious bag in his hand. Justin pulled out a pint of ice cream. “I thought we could use a little dessert and cool off.” Justin dipped into the ice cream and flung the spoonful so it hit Brian right in the middle of the forehead and quickly another one hit him in the chest.

By now Brian was headed for Justin as quickly as he could.  He flattened himself against Justin who automatically started licking the ice cream off his chest. Soon ice cream was everywhere on the two now naked men.  Tongues and fingers had trailed everything, not to mention entire bodies sliding against each other. Things progressed into the bed and before long they were clinging to each other as Brian smoothly entered Justin, claiming his heart once again.

The men spent every minute together during the visit.  They say Jarod a couple times but he was good at his job and when people didn’t need to know he was there they didn’t know it.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, they spent most of the day in bed and the evenings at the gallery. Brian couldn’t have anticipated how proud he was of his Sunshine.  

But time wasn’t on their side.  It was Sunday night and Brian was leaving the next morning.  They stayed until the last guest left.

Jarod came over. “Hey, would you like me to get a car for you?”

Brian responded, “No, I think we will walk home. Hey, Jarod, I don’t know if I will see you again before I leave tomorrow.  I just want you to know how much I appreciate you taking such good care of Sunshine. I will be forever in your debt.” He leaned forward and gave Jarod a kiss.

It was not like the kiss he had shared with Justin but it still explained where Justin got his skills.

“Brian, you don’t owe me anything.  I am just doing my job.”

“Your job description doesn’t say anything about you having to support him because I am a jerk.”

“No problem, Brian. Hope you have a safe trip home.”

Jarod walked away.

Brian took Justin’s hand and lead him out the door. They strolled down the walk spending as much time kissing as walking.  As they were in each other’s arms not paying any attention the first rain drop hit them. They both looked up just as the sky opened up. They started running toward the hotel but Justin stopped running, pulling Brian back to him. He looked at Brian and his face shone brighter than the sun. He just tilted his head up and just let the rain splash on it. Brian wrapped his arms around his Sunshine and looked to the sky like he had.

Slowly they continued walking to the hotel not even noticing the rain.

Laying in each other’s arms after making love for the last time before Brian left they didn’t say anything.  They kissed they touched. They listened to their heartbeats.

Brian dressed for his flight home. “We are going to make it, Sunshine.  We will figure out another meet soon. I love you!”

Justin hugged him and looked into Brian’s face. “You are always in my mind and always in my soul.”

And with that Brian was gone.

 

Chapter 9

Dan had missed Brian while he was gone.  Although most of their activities meant Brian was drunk and sometimes high he liked being around him.  Brian had a good heart and a lust for life. He had an inner drive that Dan wasn’t quite sure how to categorize.  He was fairly sure it had to do with Brian’s family. He had heard bits and pieces of the dysfunction he lived through. He was on the lookout for something that would distract Brian.  Justin was still scheduled to be gone for another 3 months and that would mean a lot of partying in the future. Dan liked a good time as the next guy but when Brian partied he partied hard. Dan just wasn’t into that scene that much anymore.

After spending a week in Texas Brian felt rejuvenated except for the lonely place in his heart.  That was always there when Justin wasn’t around. He knew he needed to cut back on the drinking. He didn’t want to become his father. He also couldn’t let it affect his business.  He had worked too hard to get where he was in life to throw it away, especially over a skinny, blond boy. He smiled at the thought, the ‘skinny, blond’ who was his very reason to keep living.

Dan walked out of a grand old house with a smile on his face. He didn’t know what it would take but he was getting Brian Kinney to help him with this project. He thought about the two women he was just talking with.  He didn’t think Brian had any carpentry experience but he did and Brian could measure and learn to use a saw. He hoped he could anyway.

Dan arrived at his place ahead of Brian that evening.  He had bought two t-bone steaks, threw some baking potatoes in the oven, and threw some mushrooms and chopped onions in foil with butter to put on the grill with the steaks.  He finished by opening a bag of lettuce and having some dressing for it. Hopefully this would bribe him. Brian didn’t eat well when Justin was gone. He would get take out sometimes but sometimes he just drank his meal which is what Dan was trying to stop.

Half an hour later Brian came walking past and couldn’t resist the smell of the grilled meat.  “That smells amazing,” he walked over to the grill. The onions and mushrooms are what he was smelling.  The steaks were just hitting the rack now.

“Hope you don’t have plans. One of these is for you.”

“Sounds great!  What’s the occasion?”

“I just felt domestice, dear.” Dan and Brian both laughed. “And I have a proposition for you.”

“You do realize you used Domestic and Proposition in the same breath.  I didn’t think our relationship was going that way.” They both laughed again but this time there was a little bit of tension in the air.

There was no doubt the men found each other attractive and under other circumstances back in the day they would have fucked like rabbits.  But the relationship between Justin and Brian was stronger than any Dan had ever seen and he wasn’t willing to damage his friends’ relationship for a quick roll in the sack….even if it probably would be the best he had ever had.

“I’m going to go grab a beer,” Dan said.  You want one?

Brian gave him a look that said, ‘Now that is a stupid question.’  Dan went in and grabbed a couple cold ones and checked on the potatoes. As he came out he saw that Brian was on the phone.  It was quickly obvious it was Justin on the line. All he had to do was look at Brian’s face. It was a mix of love and longing all at once.

Justin and Jarod boarded the plane for Omaha.  Jarod grew up near Omaha and had lots of childhood memories of the area. The whole flight he went on and on about places to go.  He knew they were headed to the zoo for sure. It actually sounded like a lot of fun so Justin’s mood lifted some.

After checking into the hotel, Jarod and Justin parted.  Justin called Brian while Jarod called the gallery to hear the plans for the show here.

“Hey, Sunshine.  You still in Houston?

“No, we just landed in Omaha.  I hope a smaller location will mean less publicity.  We hope to do a couple fun things to relax while we are here.  Jarod says there is an amazing zoo there that we hope to visit.”

Brian hated that  ‘we’ didn’t include him. They spoke a few minutes longer.  “Sunshine, Dan just brought out our dinner.”

“OK, Brian.  I miss you so much.  It’s only been 2 weeks and And it is going to be at least 4 more weeks.  God, Baby. I love you.!”

“Love you too, Sunshine.”

Dan handed Brian a beer.  “How’s Justin doing? Where is he heading this week?

“He’s fine.  He is getting a little tired of all the press he has started attracting but Jarod is great company for him.”

Dan wondered if he heard a note of sarcasm there.  “So Jarod seems like he was a good fit. That’s good to know if I get another client that needs someone like this.”

Brian shrugged.  He had to admit that he was glad Jarod was there and that they had become close but that was also what bothered him.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Dan knew he was holding something back.

“Damnit!  He is the best thing that has happened to Sunshine since, well, maybe in his entire life.  They are great friends but I hate knowing that there is an attraction and even worse that I gave him permission to go ahead  if the situation occurred. If Jarod had been out for a while this wouldn’t be an issue but he is new. Justin is a sucker for helping people out.”  Both men laughed know it was true. Justin was such a caring person if he couldn't find the right person for Jarod he would have to do it.

The men sat down to eat their dinner.  As they ate Brian spoke, “Thanks for dinner.  This is amazing but what’s going to cost me.”

“What do you mean, cost you?  Do you think I will charge for the meal?” Dan smiled.

“Just get the hell on with it.  What are you up to?”

“Well, today I looked at a house that could be my biggest commission ever.  It is amazing. The couple who own it are great. “

“But?”

“But the house needs work and if I do it myself I will get a bigger payout.”

“And?

“I am going to need a couple extra hands.”

“You want me to help you with home repairs? Have you ever seen me hold a hammer? A screwdriver? A gratchet?”

“What the hell is a gratchet?

“Never mind.  What I am saying is I am not the handyman kind of guy.”

“Oh, come on, Brian.  I know you can measure and you can learn to run a saw.”

“Are you serious?” Brian was thinking about it.

“Brian, you need a distraction. Your drinking is out of control.   I need an extra pair of hands. You can quit anytime if you want to wimp out.”

“You are going to love this couple.  They have to be nearly 80 and have lived in the same place about 50 years.  Melody and Linda need to move into a smaller place. They can’t handle the 3 stories anymore. If we do a few minor things they will get a much better price.”

“Ok, ok.  I am promising you absolutely nothing but….you’re right.  I need something to do.” Brian put out his hand, “Deal?”

“Deal.” Dan smiled

Jarod knocked on Justin’s door and Justin let him in.  

“So, I have some good news and some bad news.”

“Just tell me all of it.”

“Bad news first.  You have an interview at a TV station tomorrow morning early.  Now before you whine,” Jarod looked over at Justin who pulled a face. “The news outlets are going to have a preview of the show but you don’t need to be there and they are not having a press conference so you don’t need to be there. And the best news,” He held up his left hand. “ Tickets for the Zoo.”  

Justin had to smile.  He had never seen Jarod so animated.  “Ok, I guess I can deal with one TV reporter.”

“Did I forget to mention it is an Art Critic?”

“Ya, you left that out.  Do I get to preview the questions? Is he going to ambush me?”

“I am working on that.  Or I will at least find out what his opinion is ahead of time.”

Justin felt like he needed a little support right now so wrapped his arms around Jarod who, in a natural response, hugged him back. After a couple minutes Justin backed off. “Thanks, I needed that.”

“Anytime.” Jarod replied.  “This hanging with you thing for a fledgling gay is great.”  They both started laughing.

The next morning Jarod arrived at Justin’s room early to take him to the TV station. On the way Jarod filled him in on what he found out about the critic.   It was a fair guy who didn’t bully anyone. He asked good questions and seemed to care about the artists.

“What’s his name again?”

“Larry Morgan.”

Larry was a great guy.  He was truly interested in Justin’s work and his motivation.  He got personal but not too personal. He asked some basic questions about his life and Brian but focused on his art. Justin wished Jarod had made it in time to watch from the studio but he had gotten delayed and would wait in the control room.  

Throughout the interview Justin thought there was something familiar about Larry even though he obviously hadn’t met him before.  Maybe it was because he felt they had some things in common.

After the interview, the men shook hands.  Larry asked, “Do you have plans tomorrow for dinner? I have plans tonight but I would love to continue our conversation.  Your work really fascinates me.”

“I would enjoy that.  Oh, my assistant will be joining us.  I am sure you know I have had some trouble in my past so Jarod serves as my assistant/bodyguard/ friend.”

“That would be great.”  They exchanged information and would connect tomorrow for a late dinner.

Brian and Dan headed to their new adventure on Saturday morning.  They arrived at a magnificent old home. Justin had seen some of these and had been in a couple that were owned by clients but none that were this grand. Dan rang the bell.  After a few moments the door was opened by a tall, well dressed, elderly, woman.

“Dan, how nice to see you.  This must be your friend, Brian, you told us about. Please come in, come in.”

“You look lovely today, Linda.” Dan kissed her cheek.

From the left a voice interrupted. “Dan, you are such a kiss ass.”

Dan started laughing. “Good morning to you, too, Melody. I would like you to meet Brian Kinney. Brian, this is Linda and Melody.”

Linda looked at Brian and then at Melody, “You know Mel, if I hadn’t been with you all these years I might have gone for a gentleman like Mr. Kinney here.” She walked over to give Brian a hug in greeting. Has anyone ever told you, you are a real looker? Now, Dan, you are a good looking man, too, but I was always attracted to dark hair.  That is one of the reasons I fell in love with Mel.”

“You fell in love with me because I could make you orgasm more than any other woman you had been with, Lindz.”

Brian couldn’t control himself.  “Mel and Lindz. Seriously?” After Brian stopped laughing, he said, “I apologize but one of my best friends back in Pittsburgh is named Lindsey and her partner is Melanie. Actually, Lindz is the mother of my son.”

“Ooo, I might have enjoyed that,” Linda said.  

Dan  was chuckling.  “Ladies, I think I am going to take Brian upstairs and show him what we are going to be working on.” The men walked up the stairs into anything but a small job.

“Dan, are you crazy? You said a small job. This is going to take years.”

“We aren’t doing it all.  We are doing some of the small side things and then a crew will be able to come in and go straight to the big stuff.”

“Dan, I don’t know….. But I guess I am willing to try.”

The men spent the day doing mostly demolition. Brian had to admit that it was fun and a great way to work off frustration.  After several hours Brian heard someone behind him.

“Well, hello, Miss Melody,” Brian purred to  the older woman.

“Shut up, Kinney. I brought you some lunch. Figured that was one way for it to get quiet.”

Dan and Brian had to smile. Dan hadn’t seen Brian this focused and relaxed in months and he will be too tired to do much tonight.

By the end of the day the men said goodbye to the ladies and headed home where they shared a pizza and crashed.

Justin and Jarod had been playing it low key in Omaha.  There dinner with Larry had gotten postponed until Sunday and got switched to lunch.  Today was their zoo day. Jarod’s excitement had definitely rubbed off. Justin was excited too.  They spent the day going from one exhibit to another. They went to the rainforest and and laughed at the golden tamarin playing on the trees.  They watched the penguins as the slid off the ice and swam through the water. Then they went through the desert dome and saw all the little creatures skittering around. And that was only the beginning.  When they were slumping a bit they took a train ride around the park.They spent time watching the sea lions and laughing at their antics. At one point they were laughing so hard they had hang onto each other to stay standing.

They ended their day watching the big cats.  They were so beautiful. One of the older tigers attracted them.  He may not have been as majestic as some of them but he had character.  He would watch them as they walked. Justin finally dipped down out of his view and popped back up.  The tiger jumped in surprise. Soon it was obviously a game.

“I hate to leave our new friend but we have got to get back to the hotel and clean up before show.

They headed for the car. When they got there Justin looked at Jarod and said, “Thank you! That was about the best time I have ever had, outside of the bedroom.” Jarod laughed as Justin gave him a big smacking kiss. Jarod grabbed him and swung him around giving him a quick kiss i as he returned him to the ground.  

“I told you it would be an amazing day.”

Returning to the hotel they got ready for the gallery, a little sunburned, but in a great mood.

On Sunday, Jarod and Justin drove to the address they were given.  They pulled up to very unique house. It fit an art critic. Both Justin and Jarod were standing there just gawking at the outside when the door opened.

“Gentlemen, I am so glad we could finally make this work.” Larry gave Justin a hug and kiss.  That was all Justin needed to know that his hunch was right. Larry was definitely gay. “Larry, I would like you to meet Jarod. He is a good friend of mine.”

“Sorry if it is none of my business but this isn’t the gentleman we talked about in the interview, is it?  This is your bodyguard, correct?

“Yes, sir.”

“Oh, please, I feel old enough.the way it is. It’s Larry.”

The men had an enjoyable lunch. Larry and Jarod hit it off immediately.  Jarod had many things in common with Larry. At first Justin thought it was because Jarod was from the area, but as time went on Justin noticed too many similarities.  They made similar gestures and their voice tone was similar. Justin needed to get Jarod out of here and have Dan do some research for him.

“Larry, thank you so much for lunch but we should probably get going. I need a little time before the show tonight.”  Goodbyes were said and a promise to try to get together sometime before the left. Maybe lunch next Sunday was thrown out there.

Justin was very quiet on the ride back.

“Are you feeling OK?  You were kind of quiet this afternoon.”

“I just have a bit of a headache.  That’s all.”

When they arrived back at their rooms, Jarod followed Justin in.  

“Have a seat. Let me see if I can help with that headache.”  Jarod made slow circular motion on Justin’s temples and then massaged his scalp and the back of his neck,

“Jarod, that feels amazing.” It was helping the tension that had built up throughout the afternoon.

Justin’s head lolled back as he actually relaxed. For a second he thought Jarod was going to kiss him but they both realized it and Jarod stepped back.  

“I better let you get ready.”

“Ya, I better give Brian a call too.  I haven’t talked to him in a while.”

As soon as Jarod left Justin grabbed his phone.  “Dan, I need you to do something for me.”

“You’re looking for Brian?”

“Well, I do want to talk to him but I need to talk to you, too.” Justin explained what he thought he had found out. “Dan, do you think you can do a little investigating?”  Dan agreed and passed his phone to Brian.

“Hey, Sunshine.  Should I worry you are calling the neighbor before me?”  Justin could hear the humor in his voice.

“Baby, i am so sorry.  We have just been crazy busy.”

“Again with the we.  I thought we was you and me.  Lately we doesn’t include me.”  There was silence for a few seconds. “I am sorry, Sunshine.  I just miss you so much and all I hear is we, we, we.”

“It seems to me that you ?”

“Well, you didn’t return my call yesterday and right now I am talking to you on Dan’s phone! I can’t remember the last time I talked to you in waking hours that you aren’t with him. Not to mention that Daphne happened to mention you had taken a couple days off to do a project with Dan. Well, don’t let me take up any more of your time, Mr. Kinney.” And Justin hung up.

To say the least, the next few days were hard on everyone in Brian and Justin’s world. Brian split his time between the office and Dan.  Daphne actually hoped he didn’t come in by Wednesday.

Jarod wasn’t sure what to do to help Justin.  One moment he was smiling and talking to buyers but the next he was giving orders to an assistant.  Justin was never short with anyone but now he prefered to ignore them altogether. Saturday Jarod received a call from Larry about getting together on Sunday. Justin hadn’t returned his call.

Justin had gotten a call from Larry but hadn’t returned it yet.  He needed to talk to Dan and figure this out before responding.

Justin called Dan. “Did you find out anything?”

“Justin your instincts were right.  I am 99% sure that Larry Morgan is Jarod’s father.”

“I knew it.  I was hoping I was wrong but I knew it.  Now I wonder if Larry knows it.”

“I don’t think so, Justin.  I think it was all a coincidence.”

“Shit, what do I do now? I have to tell Jarod. Thanks, Dan.  I will figure something out.”

“Justin, do you want to talk to Brian.  He’s in the other room. We have been working on a projects for a couple nice old munchers.  I pulled him in because….”

“Dan, I am glad you are watching out for him.  I can tell he isn’t drinking as much the last couple weeks and thank you for that but …. Never mind.  I have to get to the gallery. Thanks again.”

“Are you going to talk on the phone all day or show me how to put this piece up the right way?” Dan walked over to check out the progress Brian had made.  He was actually doing quite well. Brian looked over at Dan, “It was him, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, it was.  And if you weren’t so damn stubborn you’d call him and apologi…”

“Apologize for what? I didn’t do anything.”

“Did he do anything?”

“No.”

“Then suck up your pride and call him.  He is going through a very tough time and being able to talk to you I am sure would make it easier on him but your asinine pride gets in the way,”

“I just don’t know if I can go through another ‘we’ conversation. We did this.  We went there…..”

Dan walked over to his friend and took him in his arms.  For a moment Brian tried to fight him but then he gave in. He clung to Dan and cried in his arms.

Brian calmed himself down. “I am going 2 see if the ladies have anything to drink down there. I know I know I shouldn't be drinking I just need something.”

“ This might be one time I agree with you, Brian. I am sure those ladies have something down there for you. I am just going to finish up this bit and then we will head home.”

After spending so many hours in this house Brian felt comfortable going back to the kitchen by himself. He opened the fridge and found a beer. He turned and was about to open it when he heard a voice saying, “You look like you could use something stronger than that.”

He looked and found Mel standing in the door. The older woman had a bottle of Jack in her hand and was taking two glasses out of the cupboard. She poured him one and handed it to him. She gestured for him to have a seat and took the one across from him.

“So spill it. It is so obvious you have a problem. Could it be that absent boyfriend?”

Brian drink down the first glass and held it up for a refill. “ Yeah, it is. There really isn't anything anyone can do about it. He has just been gone too long! How long have you and Linds been together? I think you said 50 years or more. Justin and I have basically been together for 6. We've had our time apart but we have never been away from each other as much as we have been in the last 4 months. I feel like part of me is missing.”

“ So what has your dick in a knot now? What changed that got you in this mood?”

“He has gotten very close with his bodyguard. They have become very close and it just kills me that he is with him not me.”

“So are they screwing? “

“Not that I know. And I told him if he did it was okay.”

Mel looked at him like he was crazy. “ Let me get this straight, the man you love is spending day and night with the man you are jealous of and you tell him he can have fuck him?”

“Well, there are extenuating circumstances. But basically yes.”

“Brian, I know we don't know each other well and we haven't known each other long. I can tell you love that man. I can't imagine ever having been apart from Linds that long. What kind of tour is he on? What is this man's name?”

“ He is an artist. Actually at this point he is becoming quite famous. His name is Justin Taylor.”

“Are you shitting me? I have been following his work since the first time I saw one of his pieces years ago when he was still in high school I think. We never have talked about it but I taught art and I was speaking at a conference in Pittsburgh several years ago. A friend and colleague took me to an art show at the gay and lesbian center there. I was astounded that someone so young could catch expressions and emotions as well as he did. There was one sketch of his lover laying in... That was you!” Mel chuckled. “ I remember thinking that he must really love that man just from the lines on the paper.”

After refilling Brian's glass again she commented, “I bet you have been doing far too much of this while he's away.” Mel held up the bottle. “I know it's softens the pain but it doesn't fix anything. I'm guessing that's why Dan has been bringing you with him.”

“I'm going to give you some advice whether you want it or not. Wait for that young man! He will come back to you. He is an artist and we are a fickle bunch. Whether  something happens with this bodyguard or not from what I can tell he will come back to you, to be with you, because he loves you. I would bet you haven't been all that faithful to him while he's been gone all this time. Just let him know how much you love him and that you are waiting for him when he gets back.”

At that moment Dan appeared from upstairs. Hey, Brian are you ready to go? Hi, Mel. I hope you don't mind me sending Brian down to get a refreshment. It looks like he may have had a few.”

“Daniel, don't you dare badger that man. He is a man who misses his love. Someone that can love that hard can’t be all bad.  Even if he is an idiot,”Under her breath she mumbled, “Giving him permission to screw someone else.” She shook her head.

Brian stood on shaky legs touching the table to balance himself. Mel stood and walked over to where he was standing. She put her arms around his neck and pulled his head near her lips. “Not many of us are lucky enough to find that one person, Brian. Be patient and just love him.” With that she gave him a kiss and walked away.

Dan put a steadying hand on Brian’s arm.  “Let’s head home.” As they rode home Dan looked at Brian.  “I never thought I would hear Melody talk to like that. She was almost kind.”

Brian smiled a bit starting to fade a bit after drinking as much as he did as fast as he did. “Mel always can be a surprise.”

Justin wanted to talk to Brian.  He would know how to handle this situation but the last thing Brian wanted to do was hear more about Jarod.  Jarod would be the other person he would go to if it didn’t affect his whole life.

“Hey, Justin, can I come in.” Jarod was knocking at the adjoining door.

Justin adjusting the worried look on his face and said, “Sure, Jarod, come on it.”

“Hey, just wanted to let you know you don’t have to call Larry back. I just talked to him and we set up lunch for Sunday again.  I really like that guy. I enjoy spending time with him even if he is a lot older.”

Justin caught himself before letting his expression turn to horror. “Oh, that’s great.  Ya, I got distracted. Thanks for taking care of that. Could you give me maybe half an hour and then I will be ready to head out to whatever you have planned for us today. I promised I’d call my mom.”

“That sounds good.  I don’t have anything big going on.  I thought we could walk around the Old Market area for a while and then eat somewhere before heading to the gallery.  You will love it down there. There are a lot of artist’s shops.”

Justin did call Jennifer.  He needed to talk to someone he trusted. “Justin, it is so good to hear your voice.  You are making quite a name for yourself on this trip. I am so proud of you!”

“Hey, Mom.”

That was all Justin had to say.  “What’s wrong? I can hear it in your voice.  Everything is ok with you and Jarod, isn’t it?”

That was all it took to have Justin crumble into sobs.

“Oh, honey, what is it?  What’s wrong?”

“Everything is wrong. I know the tour is going well but that’s all that is.  Brian is barely talking to me and now I can’t talk to Jarod about a major issue.”

“Ok, let’s take this one issue at a time.” Jennifer took control. “What happened with you and Brian?”

“Nothing.  That’s just it.  I can’t fix it because there really isn’t something to fix,  We just need to be together.”

“You two always did need to be with each other, Justin.  You will just need to call and talk even if it is about something unimportant.  You just need to hear each other’s voices and in a couple weeks you are going home, right?”

“Ya, you’re right but the other problem is even worse.”  Justin explained the situation with Jarod and finding his father.

“Oh, Justin, you do need to tell him.”

“I know that but do I tell him before or after we go on Sunday?”

“Wait until you are out of Omaha.  Then he can think about how he wants to handle it without the man being nearby. And by the way, Tuck and I are coming to Chicago to see the show so if you want to wait until then we will be around.”

That was just what he needed to hear. “You’re really coming?” He didn’t realize how much he missed his mom until that moment. “I can’t wait to see the two of you! You just made a rough week better.  Love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, Justin.”

Justin let out a long sigh.  He could do this. At least Larry was a very nice guy and Jarod really did like him.

Brian couldn’t believe he was saying this but Mel made sense. He looked at his watch trying to figure out with the time difference what would be a good time to call Justin. He had a feeling he wouldn’t get him now but he could still call and leave a message.  He wouldn’t be at the gallery yet. He pushed the icon on his phone and waited.

“Hello,” Justin answered but Brian could hardly hear him over the sound of other voices.

“Hey, Sunshine.”

“Give me a second.  I can hardly hear you.” Brian could hear walking and then the din quieted. “Hello? You still there?”

“I’m here, Sunshine.” Brian wanted to crawl through the phone to see his face, to kiss his lips.

“Sorry, I am on a foot bridge crossing the Missouri.  Reception is horrible.”

“Justin, I ….”

“Brian, I really can’t hear  you. We were just heading out to the gallery.  I will call you tomorrow late afternoon, ok? Love you.”  Before Brian could say anything the phone was dead.

The hell with it, he thought. He sent a message to Dan.  ‘I am going out tonight, with or without you. Are you coming with me?’

When Dan got the text he knew something had happened.  When was Justin getting back? Brian was exhausting! He called Brian back. “Hey, Brian. What’s up?”

“Are you coming with me?” There was no pleasantries in his voice.  There was nothing that made it sound like this would be a fun evening.

The night went like many of the previous weekends.  They ended up at the hotel but Brian hadn’t settled for one but took three men to the hotel with him.  Dan could actually hear the party through the wall. It didn’t quiet down until after 6 and he was fairly sure there was still someone with him in the morning. Brian was hitting bottom and quickly.  At least he still seemed enjoy the remodeling project. He was going to have to get him more involved the next week until Justin came home.

Justin wished he could have gotten a clearer signal.  He could call now but it would be rushed and he wanted a quality conversation with him.  Tomorrow afternoon after lunch at Larry’s he would have time before going to the show. He really did want to tell Brian all about the day at the zoo and especially about the Larry and Jarod. Only a couple more nights in Omaha.  He had really enjoyed it here. It was probably because Jarod had enjoyed himself so much and he knew the best things to do for fun. If it wasn’t for this thing with Larry it would have been nearly stress free.

Sunday dawned cooler and rainy.  It was a nice change since it had been so warm.  They were expected at Larry’s at 11:00. Justin lay in bed thinking what fun it would be if Brian was here.  The soft sound of rain and his sore heart needed to talk to him. Why wait until this evening. He called Brian’s phone. Calculating it was about 9 over there, he thought Brian was probably still sleeping.

Just when he was ready to leave a message a strange voice picked up. “Mr. Stud’s phone.  Jimmy speaking.” A breathless voice said. The background noise made it obvious what was going on.

Justin heard Brian’s voice, “Give that to me.”

“Ya. This is Brian.”

“Sorry, obviously I caught you in the middle of someone.”  Justin tried to control his response. “I will call you around 5:00.”  And he hung up. He knew he had no right to be upset. Brian was not breaking any of their rules but that didn’t make it any less painful. His heart had never hurt to badly as it did right now.  He knew it wasn’t all Brian’s fault. It was this separation. Seeing each other for a few days every six weeks was killing them both. He needed to figure out a way to get out of this contract.  Well in 2 weeks he would be going home for a couple days again. At least maybe they could patch up a few holes that were growing between them.

As much as he fought it, he laid on the bed and sobbed.   After 15 minutes Justin pulled himself together and got in the shower. He had to look human by 10:30.

Jarod had tried knocking on the adjoining door and there was no answer.  He tried the nob and it opened. “Hey, Justin, you in here?”

Just then Justin exited the bathroom with only a towel draped over his shoulder. Jarod took a quick intake of air. Justin was so beautiful and right now he looked so vulnerable.  Without thinking he closed the gap between them and took Justin in his arms and held his naked body close to him.

“What’s wrong, Honey, what happened?”

That is all it took for Justin to start crying again.  After telling him the whole story Justin looked into Jarod’s eyes.  “He didn’t do anything wrong. He did what I told him to do. He did it because of me but that doesn’t make it easier.”

As the tears quieted Jarod smoothed his hair and kissed the top of his head. He then kissed Justin’s tear streaked cheeks and then landed on Justin’s mouth. He wanted to kiss his friend’s pain away.   In Justin’s state of undress it was obvious the effect it had on Justin. The kiss deepened and so did Justin’s need.

Jarod pulled himself together and separated from Justin.  “Um, think you can be ready at 10:30?’

“Sure,” was Justin’s reply.

“I will see you outside the door then.” And Jarod slipped back into his room.

At 10:30 they met outside their rooms. There was definitely an odd tension between them but they were both grown men and could get over it.  The moment had passed and they would move on.

Jarod soon relaxed and was very light hearted thinking about spending a day with Larry.  Justin wondered what his mood would be if he knew the truth. He had made it clear he was not interested in finding his father so how would he feel about this was difficult to guess.  It helped he liked the man and it was obvious Larry was gay so who knows what happened. Only Larry could answer those questions.

Jarod was talking more than usual and Justin was quiet.  “You Ok?” Jarod finally asked.

“It was just a hard morning. I am going to apologize in advance.  I am afraid I am not going to be fun to be around in the next couple weeks. Unless something changes with Brian it is going to be a long couple weeks. I wish I could just go home and clear the air before it gets worse.”

Jarod reached over and squeezed his hand.  “You’ll make it. I’m here for you.”

That might be what worried him the most.

It had continued to rain throughout the morning.  When they arrived, they dashed to the house and rang the bell.  Larry opened the door almost immediately. “Come in out of the rain. I know a lot of people don’t care for this kind of weather but I have to admit, I love it.  Nothing better than to curl up with a good book or a moved you want to watch. And better yet with someone you love. How is your love, Justin?”

“He is fine.  We both just really miss each other. In a couple weeks I plan to fly home for a few days.”

“And, Jarod, what will you do while Justin is back home?”

“I will be at  the show in Chicago. It seems like there is always something to deal with.”

“Please come out to my favorite room of the house.  It was too hot to be out here last week when you were here.”

They entered a beautiful screened in porch area. The sound of the rain was clear above them and a cooling breeze moved over them.

Justin was immediately taken in by peace he felt. “I think I would live in this room alone if I owned this place.”  

Jarod agreed and began looking at some of the art and decor that was sprinkled throughout the room.  

Just then the door opened and brunch was served.  At one end of the porch there was a small eating table that they were directed to sit around.

I  know it might be a little tight but I didn’t want to waste this lovely day.” Jarod and Justin agreed.

Justin listened most of the time as Larry and Jarod talked.  They really did have a lot in common. They enjoyed the same kind of movies.  They liked the same kind of music. And they liked the same art. After the long leisurely brunch Jarod asked, “Do you mind if I look around?  You have so many beautiful thing.”

“Feel free and don’t be afraid to touch. Art was made to experience.”

Jarod smiled, “My mom used to say that.”

Justin caught his breath. He was getting nervous.  Could he say he didn’t feel well and get him out of there?  

Justin and Larry chatted about Justin’s approach to art and where he planned to go next with his work.

Out of the corner of his eye, Justin noticed Jarod had stopped moving and was focused on something on a shelf. “Um, Larry?  Where did you get this?” He held up a very small but beautiful painting that had been on the shelf.”

“You do have good taste, Jarod.  A dear, dear friend of mine painted it.  She had real talent but chose to use it to teach rather than focus on her own work.”

Justin saw where this was heading.  He walked to Jarod’s side. He was interested in seeing the painting but he was more interested in being near his friend as he could sense he no longer was in control of when Jarod would find out the truth.

“But, why didn’t we ever meet?  How did you know my mother?” Justin put a hand on Jarod’s shoulder.

Larry now closed the space between them.  The look on his face said it all. “Jarod,” came out in a whisper.”I never thought I would meet you. Just the name should have gotten me thinking. You said your mom was a teacher.”

Jarod’s voice was a little more demanding. “How did you know my mother?”

“We met in college.  She had talent. I had an eye for talent.  We became quick friends. We became close. We actually stayed close.  Jarod, I should have seen it. You look just like her. And like me.”

Jarod physically stumbled backward as if he had been hit. Justin wrapped an arm around his waist.  “What are you saying?”

“Jarod, I am your father.”

Justin helped Jarod to the couch. He walked to Larry and said something very quietly to him. Larry nodded and left them alone.

“Jarod, are you alright?”

Jarod nodded in response. “Why don’t you seem surprised? Did you know? Did you know and not tell me?” His voice was getting louder and higher.

“Jarod, take a deep breath.” He did. “Now another one.” Justin repeated this a couple more times.  By now Jarod was just listening to the sing song voice Justin was using. “Better?”

Jarod nodded.  “I just found out late yesterday.  I was planning on telling you but I thought maybe coming here today without knowing might be best.  I thought you would have a chance to get to know him without, “ He hesitated, “without knowing he was your father. I saw several similarities when we were here last week so I had Dan do some background for me. I know you had no interest in learning your father’s identity but some things just happen.  If you want to leave right now and never see him again, that is your choice. If you want to stay and talk to him that is Ok too.”

“Right now I just need to get out of here.”

“Ok, Jarod, we can go back to the hotel.” He walked him to the car and said he would be right back.  He let Larry know someone would be in contact with him later. He understood giving Justin a quick hug and telling him to take care of Jarod.  

Justin drove them back to the hotel and opened Jarod’s room.  It was still raining out so Justin helped him get off his wet shirt and pants pulling the blankets back and guiding him into bed.

It was his turn to kiss Jarod on top of the head and said, “I will be right back.” He ducked in his room leaving the door open so he could hear Jarod.  I minute later he returned in dry gym shorts and a T Shirt. He slid into bed next to Jarod and enfolded him in his arms. Jarod didn’t cry. He just asked a jumble of questions Justin didn’t know the answers too.  He didn’t really want the answers; He just needed to talk. He needed to have something to do. As words started failing him he looked at Justin.

Without a word Justin leaned over and kissed him.  Jarod needed to feel something. Justin deepened the kiss taking it beyond anything they had shared in the past. Justin slipped his hand in the waistband of Jarod’s shorts and pulled them off. He now lay there naked. Justin had to admire his body.  Jarod was in amazing shape and the man was bigger than most when it came to his cock. Justin continued to kiss him and started trailing his fingers along the muscles on his chest. As Justin’s hand went below his navel and then entwined in his pubic hair.  He tugged at it gently making Jarod groan.

“God, Justin, don’t stop. Please, you can’t stop.”

Justin’s mouth followed his hand lower and lower. As he took Jarod in his mouth he was afraid Jarod was going to lose it right then. He backed off a bit.

“Jarod, roll over.” Jarod followed the directive.

Justin’s hands and tongue covered his entire broad back.  He then started at the base of Jarod’s neck and started dragging his tongue ever so slowly down Jarod’s spine.  As he got lower he stopped for a moment. “Jarod, I don’t want to surprise you with anything today. I am going to rim you now.  Just relax. Everything will be easier on you if you can stay relaxed.”

Justin slid his tongue down still farther until he was probing slowly, intimately into Jarod.  Jarod made a sound that was like nothing Justin had heard before. He wondered if Jarod was crying now. He could understand if he was.  After Jarod had relaxed some Justin had him turn over. He kissed Jarod and looked him in the eyes. He said, “Are you ready for this? You don’t have to.”

“Yes, I want you.  I want you to be the first.” With that Justin slipped on a condom and used plenty of lube on them both.  “Now remember the more you can relax the less it will hurt.”

Justin applied steady pressure and slowly entered Jarod.  Justin watch Jarod’s reaction to judge when he needed to stop or slow down.  “Jarod, are you ok?” He nodded in response. Justin pushed the rest of the way in. Soon he was in a steady rhythm and he was sure Jarod wouldn’t last much longer. He leaned over and kissed him with all his heart.  “Jarod, I do love you.” With that Jarod let out a low guttural response and had an earth shattering orgasm. Justin immediately followed.

Jarod fall asleep and Justin made a call to the gallery saying they wouldn’t be there tonight due to a family emergency. Justin crawled into bed with Jarod and wrapped him in his arms. He then joined Jarod in sleep.  They woke up late afternoon.Justin let Jarod know they weren’t done for the evening. He started kissing Jarod again but encouraged Jarod to take more of the lead. Jarod explored Justin’s body and soon both men were again in need of release. Justin reached down and surprised him by putting the condom on Jarod.  ‘

“You aren’t going to hurt me, Jarod.  You don’t need to worry about going slow.  Trust me, I can take it.” To make it easier Justin got on all fours. There was less skill level this way.  No one had to worry about where legs were. Jarod entered him and quickly got into a rhythm and they came together.

They lay on the bed looking at the ceiling. Justin reached over and took Jarod’s hand.  “You know, I did mean it. I love you. Not in the way I love Brian but I have never felt this way with anyone else.  I hope this doesn’t change our friendship. Justin kissed him once more and went to his room.

Monday was the last day in Omaha. Justin tried to get Brian on his cell several times but Brian never picked up.  He finally called the office and got ahold of Daphne.”Is Brian there?”

“I don’t think you want to talk to him.  He isn’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now..”

“Has he been drinking already?”

“That’s the scary part.  I think he is sober. Do you have any idea why he is in such a fowl mood?

“Ya, it is probably my fault. Daphne, can you please get him to pick up the line?  Even if you have to lie?”

“You owe me bigtime! Hold on.”

30 seconds later Brian’s icy voice came on the line. ‘Hello.”

“Hi, Baby.  I am so sorry I didn’t get back to you yesterday. There was a crisis over here. Did Dan tell you we ran into Jarod’s father?”

“Yes, he did.” was Brian’s curt response.  

“He stumbled across the truth when we were at Larry’s yesterday. Can you imagine the shock? He couldn’t function last night.  I spent the entire day with him trying to get him to reconnect with his own feelings.”

“And how did you do that, Justin?”

It was like Brian knew instinctively they had been together. “You’re right.  We did sleep together but it isn’t going to happen again. It was a one time thing.”

“Ok, Justin.  You said you would tell me when you screwed him.  You kept your promise. Now, I have work to do.” And he was gone.

Justin’s heart felt like it had been removed from his chest and been stomped on.

Jarod and Justin  didn’t see each other most of the day but did spend the evening at the gallery.  On the way back to the hotel Jarod cleared his throat. “Justin, I just want to thank you.  I don’t know what I would have done yesterday without you. I could never have asked for a better friend.   I talked to my dad today. That sounds weird. We are going to get to know each other and see where it takes us.”

“Jarod, that’s great. I am so glad.”

“I really don’t know what I would have done last night if you hadn’t taken charge. But I also know it isn’t going to happen again.  It can’t. It would be wrong.”

And with that the subject was closed.

After the phone call, Daphne avoided Brian as much as she could.  She had never seen him like this. Even when Justin had a short fling in college Brian hadn’t reacted like this.  He wasn’t drinking now. He was just unbearable. She never thought she would miss drunk Brian but she had almost carried a bottle of Jack into his office.  She knew he was leaving here and heading to the building project with Dan most nights until late. The two ladies that lived there were out of town for a couple weeks to they had started working until all hours.

Justin and Jarod had moved on to Chicago.  This was a three week stay so it could tie into another art event in the city.  At the end of the stay here Justin was supposed to fly back home for a few days.  At this point Justin hadn’t bought his tickets yet. Brian had barely spoken to him.  They did talk every couple nights because there was a need inside both of them to connect, even if it was to just listen to the other breath.  The last call Justin had melted down telling Brian he needed him desperately but he wasn’t making the trip if Brian didn’t want him there.

Dan and Daphne were both getting worried.  They were sure Jarod was dealing with the same type of emotional swings with Justin and Jarod had heavy stuff himself to deal with. Somehow they needed to get them locked in a room together and not let them out until they had spent days in bed together.  

In the evenings at least  Brian wasn’t drinking. He actually seemed to find a small amount of peace being involved with this old house.  They had cancelled the professionals for most things and with Dan’s skill had made great progress. This week they were working on the staircase area.  They had used a couple step ladders with a board securely across to gain the upper level. They had just moved to the third story when it happened. There was first a loud crack and when Dan looked up all he saw was Brian tumbling through the air and hitting the floor two stories down.

Chapter 10

“Brian!” was Dan’s automatic response as he jumped off the ladder he was on and he ran down the two flights of stairs to the bottom where Brian laid in a heap. It was obvious there was something wrong with his right leg but worse than that was the pool of blood that was growing around his head.  He took a couple deep breaths as he hit 911. He gave them the addressed and surveyed for injuries while the operator was still on the line. Dan’s past military training kicked in. He could see a large gash on Brian’s scalp. Dan winced as he remembered seeing Brian’s head hit the banister on the second floor. He couldn’t tell if his wrist was broken or not.  It had a lot of swelling already. Looking at his pelvis and leg he was knew there was at least one break there. He was sure if he opened the pants leg the bone had broke through the skin. He grabbed towels out of the bathroom and carefully wrapped Brian’s head in one. He then slit Brian’s pants to view the injury. He was careful not to move the leg. It didn’t appear to be bleeding too bad so he just put towels around it to help stabilize it for now.

Dan opened the door so when the ambulance arrived they could get in.  He went back to Brian’s side. Brian moaned in pain. “Hey, Buddy, lay still.  Don’t try to move. You fall a hell of a long way so lay still, OK? Brian mouthed something.  “Don’t try to talk. I hear the ambulance.” Again Brian moved his lips. Dan leaned over to try to hear him. “Ok, Brian, I am listening.  What is it?”

“Sunshine.” Brian lapsed back into unconsciousness as the Paramedics walked in.

Dan rode in the ambulance with Brian but he did not regain consciousness.  Brian was rushed into emergency. Dan tried to answer the questions the best he could.  He didn’t know much medically about him. He did know he had cancer a few years back but nothing more than that.

Dan was asked to wait in the waiting room and to make any calls that needed to be made. That sounded ominous to him.  How was he going to call Justin? He knew things weren’t good their. What would he say? He decided to call Daphne first.  She would be able to get in touch with friends and family in Pittsburgh and she needed to be ready for Justin.

Daphne’s phone rang in the wee hours of the morning.  “Ya.”

“Hey,Daphne, it’s Dan. Is Gale there with you?”

Daphne thought that was an odd question.  Why did Dan care if her boyfriend was spending the night?  “Ya, he is. What’s up?”

Dan went on to tell her what had happened.  “Oh, God, does Justin know?”

“I am calling him next but I was wondering if you could call whoever needs to know in Pittsburgh? The Dr. said I needed to make calls.”

“Dan, is he really that bad?”

“I don’t know, Daph.  I just don’t know.”

Dan’s next call was to Jarod. Jarod’s training put him at attention immediately. “Dan.”

“Ya, it’s me.  I can’t explain anything right now but there’s been an accident and Justin is going to need you.”

“Dan what is it?”

“It’s Brian.  He’s alive but Justin needs to get here ASAP. I’m calling him now.”

Next he called Justin. What was he going to say.  Justin picked up groggily. “Dan? “What time is it?” As Justin’s mind started waking up his tone changed. “Dan, why are you calling me at,” there was a pause, “it’s 1:00 am there. Dan,” Now with real tension in his voice, “What’s wrong? What’s happened? Dan!” By now Jarod had entered from the joined room and slipped his arm around his friend.

“Brian and I were working at the house and he fell off a step ladder.”

Justin let out a little sign. A fall from a step ladder couldn’t be so bad. Nervously he said, “Did he break his arm? Dan? Sprain his ankle?” Jarod tightened his grip on Justin and took the phone from him, putting it on speaker.

“Dan, I put you on the speaker. “Thanks, Jarod. Justin, Brian fall from the 3rd floor down the open staircase. He hit his head on the banister on the second floor and then landed at the bottom of the stairs. “Justin, you need to be on the next flight out here.”

“Dan, this is Jarod, I have him on the 5:00 AM flight out of Midway. He should land at Newark at 8:00 am.  I’ve already texted the information to Daphne. She will pick him up. I will pack him a bag and send the rest of his stuff later.” Justin sat motionless next to Jarod on the side of the bed. Jarod stood and took a couple steps away, taking the phone off speaker.  “How, bad is it?”

“Right now I honestly don’t know.  The Dr. just told me to get people here.  It isn’t good.”

Jarod hung up and sat next to Justin again. “Justin, baby, we need to get you packed.  You’re going to fly back to New York. I wish I could go with you but I need to stay here and take care of the show. Justin?”

“There’s nothing wrong with Brian.  They are just figuring out a way to trick me into coming home.  I told him I wouldn’t come home unless he told me he wanted me to. Brian just doesn’t want to ask me.”  As Justin talked he started speaking faster and faster. Jarod could see and hear the fear creeping in. Justin then quit talking and started shaking. He turned toward Jarod and clung to him. “Jarod, Jarod, nothing can happen to him.  Jarod, I have been so mean. Jarod…”

Jarod tightened his hold on Justin, smoothing his sleep tousled hair. He kissed Justin’s forehead. He then squared him so they faced each other. “Justin, you have to pull yourself together for Brian.  He needs you,” he said firmly. “He is the man you love. He owns your soul and you own his. He needs you there to fight with all his soul!” He pulled Justin close and gave him a kiss, not one of passion, but one of strength. “You can do this.  You need to do this. Now pack your carry on and, if need be, I will send the rest of your stuff later.”

Jarod went with him to the airport and left him at security after a long hug and kiss. He watched Justin as he walked down the terminal.  Jarod wished he could have gone with him to the gate. He hated the thought of Justin having to sit there waiting by himself. He had never believed in miracles or prayer but his father just dropped into his life.  He prayed there was at least one more miracle left in this cosmos for Brian and Justin. Leaving a text for Dan that his flight was on time, Jarod headed back to the hotel to hopefully get a little sleep before having to explain things to the gallery.

Justin had very little memory of the flight.  He remember drinking some orange juice and a very kind flight attendant checking on  him frequently. He must have looked bad if a stranger noticed. It would never cross his mind that she was trying to flirt.

Dan waited in the hospital for word.  The Dr. had come out once and said they hoped he would be stable enough to take him into surgery soon.  They were still worried about internal injuries not to mention the crushed pelvis but right now they needed his brain activity to stabilize a little.  He was too shocky to put under. When he was allowed he sat next to his bed. One time when he walked in a nurse said, “Excuse me, but do you know why he keeps asking if there is sunshine out there? That is the only word he has said and it has only been a few times.”

“Sunshine is what he calls his boyfriend.  He is on his way. Justin, Sunshine, was in Chicago.   He will be landing soon.”

“Maybe when his Sunshine arrives he will  be less agitated. He can’t seem to settle down.”

Dan hoped that was true.  Considering the strain between them lately he wasn’t so sure.

Daphne and Gale arrived at the airport.  Gale stayed with the vehicle while Daphne went in.  They had checked on the way over and his flight should have landed 30 minutes ago.  Hopefully it taxied in and Justin was close to the pick up area. Daphne could only imagine the state Justin was in.  She was glad it had been a direct flight. She wasn’t sure he would have made it if he had a layover.

She saw him before she could really recognize him.  She recognized his walk and shape but there was no spring in his step. The second she was able she wrapped her arms around him. That was the moment Justin fell apart. Sobs racked his body. “Please, Daph, tell me he’s not….please…..”

“No, Justin.  Last I heard he was holding his own but he was asking for you.”

“It’s all my fault. I should have told him I would come home. I should have made him listen. I should have never gone.”

Daphne was going to stop him but she knew he wasn’t listening to anything.  His body was just a vessel of shuttering nerves right now. She started leading him to the door where Gale would be waiting. She got in the back seat and held him talking softly.She was actually glad for the traffic.  It gave her more time to get him calmed down. She started asking him questions he knew the answers to. It made him think and concentrate. “Justin, we are getting close to the hospital. You are going to need to hold it together, OK?  If Brian is awake he can’t see you fall apart. Oh, I forgot to tell you Michael, Emmett, and Ted are on their way too. They may be there for all I know. I haven’t heard from Dan in a while.”

Justin melted again. He quietly sobbed. “Justin, what is it?”

“It just makes it more real. They wouldn’t come unless he was…..”

“Stop thinking that way.  He is going to need you. You know he isn’t going to leave you.” But she thought ‘at least he will put a big fight”! She had seen the progression of their relationship crumbling. That wasn’t the right word because she knew they would come out of it but it was definitely on rocky ground the last few weeks.

Gale got out and opened the door for Daphne.  Justin and Daphne got out. Gale gave Daphne a hug and said.  “If you need me give me a call. I am going to the office and field calls.”

Daphne knew what floor they needed thanks to a text from Dan.  All the sudden from behind long arms wrapped around Justin. “Hey, Baby.  How ya, doin’?” There stood Emmett, with Ted, and Michael. Justin turned into Emmett’s body and clung to him.  

“Hey, guys, you been upstairs yet?”

“No,” Michael responded very anxiously.  “I need to get up and see him.” Ted put a hand on Michael’s arm.  

“Justin needs to see Brian first.”

Daphne took Justin from Emmett’s embrace and headed to the elevators.  Michael took a step forward but Ted continued to hold him where he was.  “We’ll be up in a few minutes.” Ted said to

Daphne.

Michael meant well and he really did care about Brian but right now it had to be about Justin and Brian.

The elevator doors opened onto ICU.  Dan was out of his chair as soon as he saw Justin come off.  He wrapped his arms around him. “I am so sorry, Justin. It is all my fault.  I thought the distraction would be good. I thought….” his words trailed off. “He’s been asking for you.  They aren’t sure how much he is aware of but he keeps saying Sunshine.”

Justin was definitely in shock himself.  He was pale and shaking. His skin was clammy.  Daphne looked at him. “Are you OK to go in there? Dan maybe you better give him an idea what he is heading into.”

Dan nodded.  “Brian sustained a major head wound, a severe break to his leg and pelvis.  And they think he has internal bleeding.”

“What are they doing about it?”  Justin flaired to life. “Why haven’t they operated?”  

“He hasn’t been stable enough. They are hoping you being here might help him calm down.”

“Take me to him.”

“It isn’t that easy in ICU.  We have to wait until they tell us we can go ini.”

“I want to see him now!”

“Justin.”

“Now.”

“I will see what I can do.” Dan walked to the nurse’s station.

:A minute later he was standing next to Justin.   “You can go in but have to promise you will stay calm and quiet.”

Justin started walking across the lobby to a door he just knew was Brian’s. The nurse stood there baffled. She knew no one had told this young man where his lover was.  He just knew.

He walked into the room as quietly as possible.  He froze. His vital, energetic love lay motionless on the bed.  

A tear rolled down his cheek followed by another and then another.

The nurse was standing by the door just to make sure Brian didn’t have an unexpected reaction. As he watched he couldn’t believe it.  Nothing had been said and the patient hadn’t opened his eyes but he reached out as his ‘Sunshine’ came closer.

Justin gently took his hand and softly said. “Hey, Baby, I came as soon as I could.  I am sorry I wasn’t here.”

At Justin’s touch he started trying to move around causing severe pain.

“No, Baby, you have to settle down.” Ever so gently he put  his hands on his shoulders and leaned very close putting his mouth by his ear.  I love you, Baby. You have to stay calm so they can operate on you. I will be here waiting.  Tears fell from his eyes and landed on Brian’s face.

“Sunshine.”  Justin brushed his lips on Brian’s mouth.  The nurse noticed Brian’s vital signs started stabilizing

Justin notice the beeps and looked at the nurse. She motioned for him to go on.  “Hey, Bri, remember walking in the rain in Austin? And the ice cream.” The nurse was sure she saw the corners of his mouth twitch. “Remember,” Justin began singing.

'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you'

He leaned over and brushed his lips to Brian’s.

Almost like on command Brian rested peacefully.

“Brian, I will be waiting right here for you, Baby.  I love you.” As he said the words his voice started quivering and he started shaking.  The nurse helped him out of the room.

Daphne and Dan each took an arm and walked him to a chair.  Dan looked at Daph, “I’m going to see if I can get him something to take.  He needs something.

There was more activity around Brian’s room.  A Dr. went in and out. He then walked over to Justin.  “It looks like your boyfriend has stabilized. The nurse tells me that’s thanks to you.  We will know a lot more once we open him up.” The Dr. saw Justin’s pale skin go ashen. “As a Dr. I am telling you need to have something to eat,” He looked at the chart, “Mr. Taylor,. And then come back to this nurse’s station and they will have something that will take the edge off your nerves. I will let you know if there are any changes.

Just then the doors of the elevator opened and Brian was wheeled out of his room toward the surgery.  Emmett, Ted, and Michael saw Brian as they pushed him past.

“Where are they taking him? I thought I would get to see him for a minute.  I’m his best friend.”

Justin made a snorting sound from where he was sitting.  He stood up and motioned for Daph to follow him. When he got beside Michael he stopped.  “Michael, you lost that title years ago. I have been Brian’s best friend for 5 years. You just won’t accept that.”

Justin stepped onto the elevator with Daph. “I can’t believe you said that to Michael.  It’s true but….”
“I don’t have time for his bullshit.  Brian could die and Mikey ‘needs’ to see him. I don’t have patience for his crap today.”

Daphne made sure Justin ate something and then had him take the pill at the nurse’s station. She found a corner for him to take a nap with his head on her lap.  They had been told it would be hours.

Dan’ ran home to shower and put on fresh clothes.  All those waiting chatted quietly. Justin had laid his phone on the end table and it beeped.  Emmett picked it up and handed it to Daphne.

“Hi Jarod.”

“Daphne? Any news?”

“Brian is in surgery.  Once he knew Justin was here he settled down enough that they felt it was safer to go in than wait.”

“How is Justin?”

Daphne could hear a hint of something besides concern there but she wasn’t sure what it was. “He is sleeping.  The Dr. gave him something just so he could relax.”

“Will you tell him I am thinking about him.”  

“Sure.  And I will have him give you a call when he feels up to it.” Daphne would hear that whole story sometime.

Time seemed to crawl by.  After about two hours Justin sat up and wiped his eyes.  He looked like a 10 year old who had just gone through a bad thunderstorm, all wide eyes and anticipation.  “Nothing yet?” Everyone shook their heads. Justin looked at his watch. “Daphne, why don’t you go home? Have Gale come pick you up.  I will be fine. Dan is back and the guys are taking turns staying here. They got a hotel room around the corner.”

She yawned, “Are you sure? I hate being so far away.”

Dan had overheard the conversation.  “Have Gale bring you some clean clothes.  I got the two of you a room next door to the guys.  That way you are close in case…” He didn’t finish the sentence.

A half hour later Daphne had left and they still waited.

Finally what seemed like a lifetime after they took him away the Dr. appeared. “Gentlemen,” he acknowledged all of Brian’s friends. “Mr. Taylor, I would like to go over the surgery with you.”

Justin looked around.  “Dr. these men are Brian’s family.  Please tell us what you know.” Emmett walked up beside Justin and slipped an arm around his shoulder.  Justin put his around Emmett for comfort and support.

‘Good news is there was some minor internal bleeding but we could take care of that with a few stitches here and there. His leg and pelvis are back together. He will have to be careful next time he flies but I think that should heel well.  He may have a slight limp when he gets over tired but nothing serious.”

“Dr., What aren’t you telling us.  His head.”

“Well, that is a trickier thing to figure out.  It seems like most everything is ok. There was a little bleeding on the brain but it self healed.”

“What aren’t you saying Dr.?” Emmett asked from beside Sunshine.

“We aren’t sure about his eyes. Right now it doesn’t appear he can see.  There is swelling and very likely it will go down and everything will be fine but there is a slight chance that if the pressure on the nerves lasts too long he will be blind permanently.”

“When can I see him?”

“ I will have a nurse come and get you if he starts waking up in recovery, otherwise you can go in his room when he comes up here.”

“Thanks, Dr.”  Justin paused “Has anyone seen my phone?  I need my phone. Dan, can you call Jarod, give him the update, and tell him I will call him soon.”

Justin walked to the farthest corner and pushed a button on his phone.  He paused for a couple seconds. “Mom,” and Justin crumbled.”

This time Ted was closest and guided Justin to a chair.  Ted could hear soothing words coming from the other end. When he knew Justin wasn’t listening anymore he took the phone.

“Jennifer, it’s Ted, if you want to come that is fine but we are all here for Justin.” She said she would be in touch soon.  

Justin pulled himself together before, as promised, a nurse took Justin down to recovery. Although Brian didn’t wake up, when Justin entered the room his vitals always got better. Brian was moved back up to ICU.  He was only supposed to have company 10 minutes an hour but after the nurse explained the situation to the Dr. he decided as much time as Justin wanted to spend in the room was fine. Maybe if his vitals stayed stable long enough he would wake up.  He didn’t want to say it but he was starting to wonder if he had missed something.

Justin sat by Brian’s side for hours, only leaving long enough to go to the bathroom and, when someone forces him, to eat. On the rare times Justin was away someone else would sit with him. Justin was nearing collapse.  It had been nearly 24 hours since the surgery and he hadn’t slept for more than 24 hours before that. Daphne came in to try to talk him into eating something. She found him with his head on Brian’s hand, sobbing softly. As she stood there she was sure she saw Brian’s fingers move ever so slightly.  Next she saw a finger reach up and stroked Justin’s cheek. Next his whole palm rested on Justin’s cheek. This pulled Justin out of his pain. “Brian, Baby, Brian, it’s me, Baby. You don’t know how glad I am to see you awake. I am so sorry, I love you so much!

“Sunshine, why is the room dark? I want to see you. ”

Daphne backed out and told the nurse to find the Dr.

When the Dr. arrived he asked Justin to step out while he examined him.

About 10 minutes later he came out of the room.  “Well, everything looks good. The color in his toes is good meaning circulation is good.  His sprained wrist has improved greatly already. He will be able to start physical therapy soon.” He could tell several of them were ready to interrupt him.  He held up a hand. “As for his eyes, only time will tell.”

They all took a sign of relief except Justin. Dan saw his mind working. “What are you thinking about, Justin?”

“Where are we going to go? Our place isn’t going to work with the steps.”

Dan said, “Let me worry about that.  By the time he can go home I will have something worked out.”

Justin was heading back in the room when Daphne intersected him.  “No, you are coming with me. You are coming with me to the hotel.  You are going to shower, eat, sleep.”

“But I need to be here for Brian.”

“They said he would sleep for some time and Michael is staying here. You know Michael has been dying to spend time with him.” With a little more prodding Daphne and Justin left.

Justin ate a sandwich, showered, and fell asleep at the hotel.  She left him sleep. She knew she was going to have him down her throat but he needed it. Emmett had switched placed with Michael and Brian had barely been awake in the last 8 hours. It was near 6 in the morning when Justin started tossing. “Jarod,” he called in his sleep. Now Daphne really needed the whole story.  “Brian, Daphne, what the hell, what time is it. Why did you let me sleep.”

“I left you sleep because Brian is going to need you.  You were exhausted. You were talking about Jarod in you sleep.”

“What did I say?”  There was a tone of nervous in Justin’s voice.

“You know you are going to tell me someday.  If you don’t want to tell me now that’s ok. But, face it, you will tell me sometime.”

Justin again had tears in his eyes. “Really, Justin,  if you don’t want to tell me…”

“I need to tell you.  Honest, Daph, I had not fucked around the whole trip, even though I could have.  There was some attraction between Jarod and me but other than a kiss here and there we knew our limits.  He was a friend, period. He still is but there was one night. It was the night he found out about his father.  He needed someone and it just sort of happened out of his need to feel something. Brian had given his blessing earlier but you know what he has been like.  When I told him I was Jarod’s first, Brian’s jealousy just went nuts. He wouldn’t talk to me about it anymore. All I had to do was use the work we and he shut me down.  I finally said I wasn’t coming back to New York unless he asked me to. That was the last thing I said to him before……” He dropped his head in his hands.”

“Justin, that doesn’t matter.  Brian has wanted you from day one and that hasn’t changed.  He was asking for you right after he fall. It isn’t going to be easy but you two are stuck with each other.”

Justin clung to his old friend for a time but then grabbed his clothes and got ready to head to the hospital.

Justin heard Brian before he saw him.  Coming off the elevator in ICU Brian’s voice was insistent. “No, I don’t want it.  Stop.” The nurse saw who it was and waved him over.

“Can you please see if he will listen to you?  They are just trying to draw some blood and then he will be out of ICU and in a regular room.

Before Justin was in the door of the room Brian knew he was there.  “Sunshine, Sunshine come in here.” There was pleading in Brian’s voice.

“I’m here Brian.”  He walked into the room and went right to the bed.  He took Brian’s hand, leaned over and kissed him, smoothing his hair back from his forehead.

“Sunshine, I don’t know what they are doing.  I can’t see what they are doing.”

“It’s alright, I’m here now.  They are just going to take a little blood.  You’ve had that done before.” He nodded at the phlebotomist who moved in and quickly got the blood drawn. “See, Baby, it’s all done.”

“Where were you?  I couldn’t find you?”

“I’m sorry, Baby.  I needed to get a little sleep.  I think Emmett, Michael, and Ted were here to watch over you.  We trust them, right?” Brian nodded and seemed to be getting drowsy.  “You get some sleep, Brian. I will be here. I will be close.”

Justin followed the nurse out.  “What was going on when I got here?”

“I’m sorry, he has had a bad reaction to the pain meds he is on.  Obviously we quit giving it to him and have switched to something else. He just wouldn’t listen to anyone’s voice. Can I ask you a question?” Justin nodded. “Has it always been like that? Has he always known when you are near?”

Justin hadn’t thought about it like that before. “Ya, I guess it has.”  Justin remembered walking into Babylon, with hundreds of people around, and Brian would look right at him.

“Wow.  That’s love.”

Justin smiled a bit.  “Ya, it is. So will he be moving?”

“Yes, he will be in a private room in the next couple hours. And, he should be much calmer by then.  Once he is settled in the new room the Dr. will come and talk to you both. “

He thanked the nurse and went back into Brian’s room.  He sat down next to Brian and took his hand. He kissed him again and was assured he was asleep.  He went out to the waiting room to see if anyone else was around. He was the only one there so he took advantage of it and called  Jarod.

“Justin, I have been so worried. How are you?  Is everything OK?”

“Everything’s fine and nothing is fine.” Justin was so glad to hear his friend’s voice.  “I know I have left you in a real pinch. What happened with the tour?”

“Justin, don’t worry about it.  If you are OK with it the galleries want your work to come with or without you.  I will continue with the tour in your absence. Now, Justin, how is Brian?”

Justin wished Jarod could be there.  “I could sure use you here, my friend, but Thank You for all you are doing.  Brian, is healing. Going to a regular room. But he still can’t see, Jarod.” Justin’s voice broke. “That will kill him.  Brian loves beautiful things. He……….”

“You are the only beautiful thing he needs to see and he will never forget what you look like.”  Justin felt a tear roll down his cheek. “What’s wrong.” Jarod said in a quiet, concerned voice.

“I’m just tired of crying and I can’t seem to stop.” Justin felt an arm slip around him.  He looked up into the face of his mom. “Jarod, I will call you back.” Justin choked on his words. “My mom is here.”

Jennifer wrapped her arms around her son.  This amazing, talented, intelligent man was still her baby. Justin held on to his mom for what seemed like a long time before they spoke. “Mom, I am so glad you are here. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I can’t stop crying half the time. I am useless.”

“When is the last time you slept or ate?”

“I went to a nearby hotel with Daphne and slept over eight hours last night.  I ate before that.”

“You need some food, Honey.  You look like you could collapse any minute.”

“Let me check with the nurse. Brian hasn’t been the most cooperative if I’m not here.”

“Go figure.  Brian Kinney not cooperating.” She smiled gently at her son and he returned it.

Justin returned.  “The nurse says we have about half an hour before they move him and he will probably sleep until then so we can go to the cafeteria and grab something.

Justin did feel better as the rode the elevator back up 30 minutes later but that changed before the doors were completely open.  He heard Brian’s voice coming from his room. He looked at his mom and headed across the room at a trot.

“Hey, Brian, I am here.  What is it? What’s the matter?”

“I didn’t know where you were.  If they moved me how would you find me?”  The Dr. had said his thought process might be confused for a few days because of the meds he was on and the head injury he had received.

“Baby, I’m here.  My mom is here, too.  We just grabbed something to eat.  If they are ready to move you I will go with you right now, OK?”

“Hi, Brian, you sure gave me a scare.” Jennifer said as she bent and kissed Brian’s cheek.

And with that Brian was quiet and calm again. Justin kissed his forehead. “I will be right behind you, OK?”

Jennifer could see first hand the strain this was on Justin but she could also see that strong determination Justin had when something had to work out.  She remembered his recovery from his own brain injury. “It will get better soon. It just takes time. You recovered and so will he.”

Justin clung to his mother silently for a few seconds and then, standing up straight, they followed Brian.

By the following weekend everyone except Ted had returned home and their lives in Pittsburgh.  They all promised to take turns coming down on weekends as the left. Ted was managing Kinnetik NYC for now.  He was staying at Justin and Brian’s. Justin popped in and out but really wasn’t there much.

By the end of the week the Dr. was mentioning Brian being released.  He was mobile enough to get around now and his moods had stabilized. He wasn’t having outbursts anymore. Well, no worse than Brian had when he was in a mood. Everything seemed to be healing well except for his vision. Justin called Dan to see what he had arranged. “Glad you called Justin.  I was just headed over to the hospital. I will be there in about half an hour.

True to his word, Dan walked into Brian’s hospital room.  He was sleeping so they ducked out into the hall. “I hope this works for you.”

“Dan, anything is fine as long as Brian can adapt to it.  I am a little worried about a strange place since he can’t see.”

“Well, it isn’t a strange place to Brian. It’s actually the house he fell in.”  Justin’s mouth dropped open. “I know, it doesn’t sound like a good solution but, honestly, I think it is the best thing.  Brian is familiar with the layout. You can have the 3rd floor.”

“How is Brian supposed to get up the stairs?”

“There is an elevator in the house. There is a bathroom and a couple bedrooms up there.  The ladies have already turned one into a sitting room for the two of you. I know you only met them for a couple seconds when they stopped by the hospital but, Justin, this will work.  You can use their kitchen and if you need to run and do a few errands one of them can sit with Brian or be available anyway. They want to do this. They feel somewhat responsible, just like I do, for him being here.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Dan.  It is called an accident for a reason.”

“Well, when Ted stops by after work we can run over there and you can look at it, Ok?”

“Ya, Ok.  Thanks, Dan.”

Several hours later, Justin stood at the bottom of the staircase looking up. “He fell all that way?”

Linda walked up beside him and put a hand on his back.  He continued, “It’s amazing he is even living.”

“We really hope you will stay here.” Linda said. “I know there are rehabs out there and that the two of you could afford a place of your own but here, Justin, you won’t have to do it alone.  Mel and I will be able to fill in some of the time when you need to be doing other things. There is actually a 3rd bedroom up there you could use as a studio. It actually was where Mel used to paint when she had younger legs. The women smiled at each other.

“Everything was younger than.” Mel winked at Linda.  The women laughed.

“Go take a look, Justin. Poke where ever you need to.  We will be down here when you are done.

Dan led the way and showed Justin the lay of the level.  Justin had to agree this would work. It wasn’t ideal but nothing would be ideal as long as Brian was whole again.  Justin just wanted him mental state and physical body to come to terms with each other. He really had no options. They were one soul.  Without Brian he wouldn’t be himself. He wasn’t going anywhere.

“Now we just have to sell Brian on the idea,” Dan said.

“You have done enough, Dan.  You don’t have to stay here for this. If I can’t convince him I’ll call you in for reinforcements.”  Justin said this to Dan as he dropped him at the hospital.

“I can go up if you want me to.”

“That’s alright. I have dealt with him before.”

Dan gave him a look. “You sure?’

“I know he isn’t easy to handle.  What you have to remember about Brian is he does everything big.  When he rebels he does it big. When he complains or feels unsure, he does it big. But when he loves he also does that big too. I can reason with him.”

“You have more wisdom than most twice your age,” They gave each other a quick kiss and Justin was out of the car. Dan did not envy him at all.

Outside Brian’s room Justin took a deep breath.  He could hear Ted talking business with Brian. He could do this.  “Hey, guys.” He kissed Ted on the cheek and then moved to Brian. He leaned down and gave him a kiss.  Brian’s arm came around and pulled him closer. This kind of reaction thrilled him. It had happened a few times now.  This was the real Brian fighting his way out.

“On that note, I will leave you two alone.”

“Ted, you don’t have to rush off, although I am sure you are ready to get home for the day.  I will be back there at some point.” Ted said his goodbyes. Just as the door closed Justin said, “I’ll be right back. Forgot to tell Ted something.  

Justin caught up with Ted at the elevator.  “I just wanted to let you know I think we have a place set to stay.  I am going to talk to Brian about it now. If I don’t make it home just figure things didn’t go too smoothly and I needed to hang here with him.”

“Do you want me to stay.”

“No, it’ll be ok just could take a lot of convincing.”

“You are the only person I know who can convince him of anything.” Ted gave him a little hug and entered the elevator.

Justin walked into Brian’s room.  “You done talking about me now?” There was almost a hint of humor in his voice.  That was a good sign.

“Actually, I told him not to wait up because I hoped to somehow have made passionate sex with you without the nurses finding out.”  

Now that actually got him to chuckle out loud.

Justin did his best to slide in next to him.  Brian reached up and found Justin’s cheek, turning his face to meet Justin’s willing lips.  It had been so long. They both greedily fed off the taste of each other. Very carefully, Justin pressed against Brian.  He wanted him to know the need he had for him. Brian groaned. Justin’s hand slid under that blankets and located the object of his need.  He knew there were stitches near his fingers. “I don’t want to do anything that will hurt you.” For a split second he thought Brian might be about to say something.

“Your touch could never hurt me, Justin.”

“But…,”

“It isn’t the time or place, but yes, we have somethings to talk about.”

Justin flinched.  He knew they would have to discuss it sometime.  Jarod was still hanging between them. He did bring his hand back up to the top of the covers.

“I know the Dr. told you he was releasing you in a couple days. You haven’t said much about it.”

“I figured you and Dan had my life planned for me already. Remember my eyes quit working which made my hearing even better.”

Justin grimaced. “We were just trying to come up with a place that would work with your leg injury.  You can’t be taking the steps.”

“Don’t forget I live in the dark. I can’t do anything.”

“Brian, we don’t know that this is permanent and if it is, you will learn to adjust.”

“So what did the two of you get arranged for my life.”

“It is for our lives.  You aren’t getting rid of me that easy. As for our temporary move, Linda and Melody want us to move in with them.  They are giving us the third floor.” Justin waited for his response but there was nothing. “Well, what do you think?”

“I didn’t know I really had a choice in the matter.” At that moment, Justin saw the look on Brian’s face. He didn’t look defiant.  Brian Kinney who was always in charge, looked defeated.

“Brian, are you listening? We didn’t do this to take control of your life.  It was to make your life easier. The last thing you needed was to have to worry about where you were going to go to heal.  I’m your partner and it’s my job to take care of you when you need it. You are always taking care of me. Just let me do this.”

“Dan thought the house would be good for us because you do know the floor plan.  And we will lay out the other rooms that make it easiest for you to get around with your crutches. And please tell me you see it.  You see how much Melody and Linda are like Mel and Lindz.”

Brian gave a genuine smile now. “Ya, especially the one time Mel was letting me have it. Actually she just pointed out how lucky I was to have someone like you and that was before she met you.  Did she tell you she was at your first exhibit. That one where we had just met. You two will have a great time”

Justin still lay on the bed next to him.  He had missed this, just being together. He was seeing glimmers of his Brian coming out again. “Do you know how bad I want to slide under that blanket and…” Just as he was ready to slide under the blankets a nurse walked in.

“So,” Brian said, “How long is sex off my no no list?”

The nurse’s face was one of both shock and humor.  She had worked with Brian often and he had never shown any sign of his personality so for him to blurt this came as a surprise.  “I’m afraid that is up to your doctor, Mr. Kinney. But my thought is if foreplay changes your attitude this much it should be a requirement at least in some form.” She winked at Justin, who was laughing at her quick response.

“His next question is going to be if the Dr. is still in the building.”  They all laughed. “I will check if he is around.”

About 10 minutes later the doctor came in the room with a smile on his face.  “I am not sure what is going on in here but I have a nurse out there that can’t stop laughing and she sent me in here.”

Brian repeated his question to the Dr.  “Well, you do realize you shattered your pelvis two weeks ago and were in ICU last week right? It is going to be some time before you are going to be able to perform up to your normal standards however, as long as you are the recipient,” he looked at Justin, “And can restrain yourself from too much activity, I don’t see a problem just remember there can be no access weight on your leg. Seriously, Brian, you will need to be very careful for at least 2 more weeks.  You don’t want to have to have another surgery.”

Justin was looking  at the Dr. for any other unsaid messages.  “Justin, do you have the address you will be going to when Brian leaves?”  

“I do, I’ll go write it down for you.”

The Dr. and Justin walked out into the hall.  “Justin, a man like Brian is obviously not used to long periods of celibacy and it has been obvious since the day you arrived that your relationship really is unique.  I honestly think he needs to know you still want him but treat him like something very delicate because breakable because he is both of those both physically and mentally. Oh, and remember, the meds he is on may have an adverse effect on things.  Make sure he realizes that if things don’t happen the way he expects them.”

Justin nodded as he went back into the room.  Brian was lying there with his eyes closed. Justin walked as quietly as he could toward the bed.

“Get done talking about me?”

Justin jumped at the sound of Brian’s voice. “Oh, I thought you had dozed off.  So what did the Dr. have to say out of my earshot.?”

“He just wanted me to be aware of how delicate your leg and pelvis was.  But he did give the go ahead. You just have to promise to tell me if it hurts.  You are going to have to be as inactive as you can be.”

“Just like normal sex in other words.” Brian said very sarcastically.

“We can make it an adventure,” Justin said, “And I may have to get creative but we will figure something out.” Justin got back in Brian’s bed.  “I am not sure they would appreciate us doing it here but…” His words stopped as Brian raised his lips and pulled Justin’s head down to his. Justin’s hands wandered cautiously down Brian’s body again. He could feel the bandages from the surgeries.  He moved the flimsy hospital gown to the side and he reached for Brian’s manhood. When his hand wrapped around it this time Brian made an audible sigh. Although it was obvious Brian was enjoying the sensation he wasn’t getting the normal response.

After some time, Brian pulled away from Justin’s mouth, “Looks like I am useless.”

“Brian, that is one of the things the Dr. told me in the hall.  He said your medications would probably affect you.” He could see the discouragement on his face. “Brian, as long as I have you beside me I can find contentment.”

“Ya, you will be content until Jarod gets back.”

Justin pulled away from Brian. “Brian, do we have to do this now.  This is the first time we have been able to lay in the same bed for a couple months.  Can’t we just enjoy being together? Please!”

He snuggled in closer, putting his head on Brian’s chest and just listened to Brian’s heart beat.

Brian tightened his arm around Justin.  That discussion could wait. He had his Sunshine.  For now anyway.

It was after midnight when Justin woke up.  He slipped out of the bed. Brian stirred and his eyes fluttered open in a start. “Who is it? What’s going on?”

“It’s just me, Baby.  I am going home and will be back in the morning to take you with me.”  This was the first time Justin realized how scared Brian was in his darkness. He leaned over and pressed his lips to Brian’s. “I will be back in a few hours.  I love you, Brian. I am always with you because I have your heart and you have mine.” Brian clung to him for a second but then relaxed back into sleep.

Justin was true to his word. He was back at the hospital by 9 to start the process of getting Brian to their temporary home.  They had lined up hospital transportation so they didn’t have to worry about him being in extra pain because of having to sit in a car.  A special chair had been brought to their living area so he could be as comfortable as possible.

The attendant helped get him into the house.  A temporary ramp was put in for the outside steps. Once he got upstairs he would get out of the wheelchair and move with his crutches.

Melody and Linda stayed out of sight while Brian and Justin moved in.  Dan had helped pack up what they would need and it was placed in their rooms.  Justin was surprised at how much they had done up there. They had replace the bed with an adjustable one so it would be more comfortable for Brian and they had gotten a lift chair.

“Where would you like to go first, Brian? I am guessing you are tired and probably sore after all the moving today.  Do you want the bed or the chair?”

Brian hesitated.  He didn’t want to admit how tired he was or how much he hurt. He made a compromise with himself.  “I will lay down. But I really am not hurting that much. I will be fine as soon as I can stretch out.” Brian prayed he could do it without showing the searing pain he had in his hip and leg. With his crutches and Justin’s help he moved himself into position and sat on the edge of the bed.  As Justin helped move his leg into the bed he almost cried out but he was not going to take any more of those pills. He needed to be able to do something for Justin or Jarod may as well come home and take him.

After Brian settled into the bed the pain did decrease and soon he was comfortable as he could be. Justin got into the bed from the other side and got close but didn’t touch him.  “You OK?”

“I will be once you move a little closer and let me touch your beautiful face.”  Justin slid carefully over so he was touching the whole length of Brian’s left side.  Brian moved his arm under Justin and pulled him in. “I know I don’t always do it the right way or know the right things to say but, I do love you, Justin.”  A tear slipped from Justin’s closed eyes. Brian brushed it away while his own rolled down his cheeks unnoticed.

Chapter 11

Justin woke up to the sound of Brian moaning. He reached over and felt his forehead.  He was covered in a sheen of sweat. From his agitation Justin knew he was in pain. He got up carefully as to not cause more, and got a pain pill and water.  He had refused to take anything since he had gotten home. Justin was fairly sure he knew why. Brian’s sex drive was a part of his very being. He needed it to feel like himself.

“Brian, hey Baby, you need to take one of these pills.”

Brian woke with a shutter. The pain ebbed from his every pore. “No, no pills.”

“Come on, Baby, you are in severe pain.  You need to get some sleep to heal quicker.”

“I said NO!”

“Ok, Ok.  Is there anything I can do?  Do you have muscles that I could rub?”

Even in his pain Brian skirked at that until another wave of pain shot through him.

“I’m going to adjust the bed a little and see if that will help.”  He moved the position, watching Brian’s face. There was a sharp intake of breath as the bed changed but then there seemed to be a little less tension in his face.  “Is that better?” Brian nodded.

“Baby, you really need to take something for the pain.”

“I said, NO.”

“How about at least taking some over the counter stuff?  I don’t know how much it will help but….”

“Justin! I’m fine.”

“The hell you are!  You woke me up because you were in too much pain to sleep.”

Even though Brian couldn’t see he seemed to be able to sense where Justin’s face was.  He laid his hand on his cheek. “Sunshine, I can deal with this.”

“You might be able to but I am not sure I can! I can’t stand to see you in pain.  Our sex life isn’t worth your suffering!”

Very quietly, stroking Justin’s cheek, he said, “Yes, it is. My need for you is far greater than the pain I have.”

“Ok, I give up.  Can I adjust your pillows or anything else for you?”

“I can think of one thing you could adjust.” he smiled.

This made Justin feel a little better.  Maybe moving the bed had helped. He got back in bed next to Brian and snuggled up the best he could without causing pain.  “Is this OK?

“That is more than OK.” Brian took Justin’s hand and slid it under the covers.

Justin slid his hand down and took Brian’s cock in his hand. He watched Brian’s face closely for any signs of pain or pleasure.  He gently moved his fingers on Brian’s member. He started a circular motion with his thumb on the tip. Brian let out a slow breath. “Are you OK, Brian?”

“Yes, it feels so good.  Why isn’t it doing anything?”

“You need to be patient.  As long as it feels good maybe it will help you relax.” Justin leaned in and Brian met his kiss.  “I will do anything that helps you get well. Just tell me what you want and I will do it! Anything!

“I know you would.  That feels really good. Thank you.”

Brian seemed to be relaxing enough to go back to sleep. Justin brought his hand back up to Brian’s chest. He slept. Justin wished he could.  

After laying there a time and knowing Brian was really asleep Justin slipped out.  Leaving the doors open he went into the art studio. He hadn’t done anything in there accept looked in the door.  He went in and put some paint out on a pallet, grabbed a canvas, and started painting.

He had no idea how long he had been in there when he heard his name.  The second time it was more frantic.”

“I’m right here, Brian.  I’m coming!” By the time Justin was in the room, Brian had regained his composure. Sorry, Baby, I had gone into the studio.” He went around the bed and brushed the hair off Brian’s forehead and followed it with a kiss.  “Do you need help to the bathroom or do you want to try it yourself?” Justin had found Brian was embarrassed to need help getting in there. Having only been there a day he was getting the hang of how to maneuver around in there.  

“Can you just help me out of this bed?”  Justin could see the determination not to flinch as he moved.  Soon Brian was standing with his crutches and heading to the bathroom.  I know we can’t shower together but when you are gone would you like some help washing up? You might feel better.  I could wash your hair if you like.

Brian let Justin know when he could come in. He had gotten up and had propped himself against the vanity supporting himself on his good leg. He was completely naked.  Justin stood there looking at that beautiful body that now had battle scars. He had a couple small incisions from the internal injuries. The incision in his pelvic area was still covered.  He would changed that dressing too. As he removed the tape he saw Brian wince in pain. “Sorry,” he said. Justin decided to strip naked himself because he knew he would get wet. “Shall we do your hair first?  I think if you can lean over just a bit this will work.” By the time the soap was out of his hair both Brian and Justin were wet. Now Justin took a wet cloth and started on his shoulders and worked his way downward.  As he got to that perfect ass he spent a few more seconds then need be but from Brian’s reaction he found it pleasurable. He leaned in to Justin just a bit and moaned softly. Justin rinsed the cloth again and began a repeat on the front side.  He would love to have taken his time but he could see the strain growing on Brian’s face. He finished quickly and dried him off. Brian had not said a word throughout. “Can you make it back to bed.” Brian nodded and heading to the room.

Justin redressed his wound and helped him get on some loose shorts and an old T Shirt. By the time Brian was back in bed he was falling asleep.

“You nap, baby, I go get some breakfast.” Justin pulled on shorts and a shirt and headed down for some food.

Linda and Melody were in the kitchen just sitting down to have breakfast.  “Sorry, Ladies, I was just grabbing a little breakfast for the two of us. Thanks, again, for letting us stay here.  I am not sure where we would have gone if….”

“Now, don’t you mention it again,” Linda cut him off. “We are glad we can help since it happened here.  How is our patient this morning?”

“I just finished cleaning him up and putting on a fresh dressing.  That totally wore him out. He is taking a nap.”

Mel looked at Justin, “You look like you could sure use one.  Did you get any sleep last night?”

“A few hours.  Brian woke up and then after that I couldn’t get back to sleep.  I hope you don’t mind but I went in and painted for a while.”

“I don’t mind if you don’t mind I take a peek.”

“Sure, no problem. Well, I better get this food up there.  I think he will be ready to eat soon.”

“Justin, we have decided that from 10 am until 2 pm each day we want to take care of Brian.  You need time to yourself. If you want to sleep you can sleep. If you have errands go do them. You need to take care of yourself.”

“No, I couldn’t let you do that. He can be a handful and….”

“Trust me, Linda and I can handle him.  He is mobile now with just a little guidance, right?”

He nodded.

“Then we can handle him. If you want to stay in the house today and sleep feel free to use one of the rooms on the second floor.”

Justin bent down and kissed each of them on the head in turn. “Thank you.” Was all he could say.  He picked up the tray of food he had assembled and got on the elevator.

The ladies looked at each other. “I hope Brian Kinney knows how lucky he is to have that young man on his side. I have never seen such loyalty, “ Mel said.

“It’s simple.  It is Love.” Linda responded as she reached across the table and took Mel’s hand.

Justin arrived the food including a pot of coffee.  “Hey, Brian, you ready for some breakfast?” He had propped himself up higher in the bed. Why don’t you come to the table in the next room and then you can sit up for a while in the chair.  There’s a TV in there.”

“Not that I can see it,” Brian said it under his breath.  

“I know, Baby, if I could make it better for you I would.” Justin kissed the top of his head as he helped him get out of the bed.

Brian did quite well getting to the other room.  He only caught the leg of a little side table in the hall and that was barely.  He made a note to move it to the other end of the hall. Brian sat down by the table.  He had been finding eating quite challenging. Justin tried to set his plate a specific way.  He then told him that he had eggs at 6 o'clock, sausage at 2, and buttered toast at 10. He also had coffee and juice for him.  His coffee was up and right of 2 and the juice was at 12. He did quite well this morning. It was nearing 10 so he thought he better tell him what the ladies had planned.  

“Hey, Brian, Linda or Melody is coming up at 10:00.  It was really nice of them. I do have a couple errands I need to run.  Is there anything I can get for you while I am out? I could run past Kinnetik if you need something from there.”

“If you have forgotten, Justin, I can’t see.  I am not sure what you think I could do. It’s not like the reports can read themselves.” Justin made note of this comment just as Mel walked in the door.

“Is he giving you shit, Justin?  

Justin smiled at Mel but didn’t say anything. He watched Brian struggle to the lift chair.  He almost stepped up to help but Mel caught his arm and shook her head. Brian made it over and then lowered the chair into a comfortable position.  Justin walked over to him and bent down, wrapping his arms around him the best he could. “I will see you later. You have my cell number if you need me. I love you, Brian.” He kissed him soundly.

“I love you, too, Sunshine.”

And so the schedule was created. At 10:00 everyday either Linda or Mel came up to be in earshot of Brian while Justin tried to move on with life.  He would usually spend most of his time at Kinnetik. Ted had gone back to Pittsburgh and the staff in NYC was all quite new. Justin didn’t know all aspects of the business either but he had a little idea and helped keep things flowing.  He was not going to let Brian’s business fall apart.

Brian’s attitude fluctuated from day to day.  Some days he was fairly even keel but other days you could see the depression setting in.  The only positive thing to come out of all this was Justin’s painting had been inspired. Pictures just flowed off his brush. He would give up all his talent for Brian to be back to normal.

Two weeks after they had moved in, there was some positive from the Dr.  The pelvis was healing well. He couldn’t walk on it yet but it looked to be a good strong set. That night as they got into bed Justin lay against Brian, dancing his fingers across Brian’s chest.  His hand moved lower as he moved his mouth to Brian’s. He was not being gentle tonight. His hand found it’s goal and started rubbing and manipulating Brian.

In the past 2 weeks there had been a couple of nights that Brian had shown signs of life down there but no real success.  It wasn’t for lack of trying on either of their parts. Justin’s mouth started winding its way down Brian’s chest and stomach and then to his cock.  Justin’s warm, sweet mouth slipped around it. Brian’s breath grew ragged and he was definitely enjoying Justin’s manipulations he just wasn’t having the full response he should.

“Justin.  JUSTIN! Enough.  It isn’t going to happen.  Is Jarod back in town, yet?  You could just as well……”

“OK, you have wanted to have this conversation for a couple weeks now.  What do you want to know, Brian?” You know we fucked. Do you want to know details?  Ya, I did him just like you did me the first time. And, ya, it was good. It felt good to see his response to me, to seeing his reaction.  I could see the pain and in some way that felt good too. He needed to feel. His life had just been thrown upside down as he knew it. He needed to be grounded by something.  And yes. Then he fucked me! Doggy style since you seem to want details. And ya, he HARD, and he kept going and going until we both came.” Justin stopped. What had he done? The look on Brian’s face was not anger.  It was sheer pain. No less than the first night he refused to take his pain meds. He didn’t mean to do this. Why had he done this?

“Oh, God, Brian, I am so sorry.  I didn’t….I don’t know…...Oh, Baby, I am just so tired.  It didn’t mean anything. It really didn’t. We never touched each other after that night. Not like that.  It was a one time thing because he was hurting so much that night. Brian, please, say something.”

“Good night, Justin.” As best he could he turned away from Justin and shut his eyes.

Justin lay there for sometime but eventually got up and went downstairs.  He couldn’t just lay there next to the man he love after he had just been so hurtful.  Why did he do that? Brian had enough stress. He shouldn’t have to deal with that too.

He started heating water.  He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with it but weren’t you supposed to drink something hot when you couldn’t sleep. He stood staring out the window although he didn’t see anything.  He realized someone had come in the room and looked to see Linda standing near him.

“Rough night? I thought I might find you in here.  I happened to be up and heard a disruption from your floor.”

”I am sorry if we disturbed you.  I should say I disturbed you. I was one making all the noise.” He turned away from Linda.  She didn’t need to draw her into his drama but she had other plans.

“Come here, dear sensitive, boy.”  She wrapped her arms around him tightly and he couldn’t help himself.  He hung onto her and cried.

After several minutes he loosened his grip on her.

“Do you want to tell me about it? I am a great listener.  He had no intention of telling Linda what had happened but all he had to do was look at her and he couldn’t stop the flow of words. He told her almost everything, leaving out only the details of the sexual encounter.  “He has every right to hate me. He has every right to …..”

“His only right is to love you.  You have declared your love over and over.  Maybe he can’t see that this minute but he will. You have both been under extreme circumstances.  Brian will realize that. And, yes, maybe you do owe him an apology tomorrow but he owes you forgiveness.. He was no angel while you were gone.  We heard the stories when he came here to work and I understand you had an agreement. Did you break the agreement?

“Yes, I did, at least the original.  When he found out Jarod was a virgin told me I could have sex with him but I didn’t plan on ever doing it.”

“Tomorrow when you are both calm tell him that.  As strong willed as that man is he is reasonable.”

They talked a little while longer and eventually took the elevator to their separate floors.

Justin got back in bed and looked at a sleeping Brian. He actually seemed to be sleeping soundly. Reaching out and touching Brian’s cheek he said,. “Sleep well, My love.”

In the darkened room, Justin didn’t see the tears as Brian cried silently.

In the morning Brian got up on his own and went to the  bathroom on his own. He couldn’t wait to be able to take a normal shower again. He was now able to get in and sit on a shower chair at least.  What he really wanted was to take one of hot and steamy showers he shared with Justin. What was wrong with him? Normally just thinking about one of those showers would put him on full alert. He looked down at his limp dick.  Maybe he should go for tests. The last time this happened was when he had cancer. That’s all he needed. He washed and rinsed the soap off as he stepped back out of the tub he felt his foot slip but couldn’t stop it. He screamed as pain exploded in his leg and before he could stop, his head hit the tiled floor.

“Brian!” Justin came flying in the bathroom to find a naked Brian, blanched white, lying on the bathroom floor. Justin dropped next to him.”Oh, God, Brian are you OK?  Of course, you aren’t OK. Oh, Baby, your leg…..Can you bend your knee?” He could. “Does your hip move?” He tried it and although it hurt it seems to move. Good, now let’s see if we can get you up.”

“Stop treating me like a child.  I am fine. I just feel like an idiot.”  Justin helped him balance and he got up.

Justin didn’t know what to say.  He was afraid anything he said would be taken wrong.  He finally just said, “I am sorry, So sorry. I don’t know what got into me last night.”

“Justin can I get some clothes on before we have this conversation?”  

As Justin assisted him he noticed a nasty bruise already. He soothed it with his cool fingers. “You scared me so bad.”

“I scared myself, too.” He opened his arms and Justin stepped into him, helping him balance.

“Brian, about last night….”

“Last night I asked for it.  I pushed you until you gave all of it to me. But I still would understand if you wanted to leave.  I have nothing to offer you.

“Brian, you don’t need to offer me anything. You just need to be here.  I need you with me. I don’t need anything from you but you.”

Justin wrapped his arms around Brian and kissed him deeply.  He instantly was at attention. In need but Brian had no reaction. Brian noticed.  He reached down and slipped his hand into Justin’s shorts. He could feel Justin pulsing.  “Lay down, Sunshine. I am going to need a little help. Pull your shorts down”. After he had thrown them to the side Brian slowly manoeuvred himself so he could reach Justin’s cock.  “Move over here.”

“Brian, you don’t have to…”

“I know I don’t have to.  I want to. I miss this so much. I miss the taste of you.” He slipped Justin’s cock all the way into his mouth and Justin grabbed his hair in need.  He felt alive for the first time in months and yet the sadness of knowing Brian’s injuries still hung over them. As Justin released into Brian’s mouth, he hungrily swallowed..  “I love you SO much, Justin.”

Another week past and Justin continued to get Brian interested in going back to work.  He was now using a cane to walk in the house and could make it in without much effort but he didn’t want to.  They tried to talk him into going to rehab to learn how to deal with his blindness but he refused that, too.

While Justin went out each day the women made sure someone was available but didn’t always sit with him anymore.  They figured it was good for his independence.

One day Justin was hung up at Kinnetik and tried calling Brian but he didn’t answer.  He called the house and got Mel. “Hey, Melody, when is the last time you or Linda saw Brian? He isn’t answering his phone.  I am going to be late and I was just letting him know. But he isn’t answering.”

Don’t worry, Justin.  I am sure he is fine but I will go check on him and give you a call back.”

Mel took the elevator up to the third floor praying all the way.  “Hey, Brian!” No answer. “Brian!” She looked in the bedroom but he wasn’t there and then glanced in the bathroom. She opened the door to the lounge area they had created.  Brian sat in his chair. In front of him was a pill bottle emptied out on the side table next to him. He sat with a glass of water in one hand and a large number of pills in the other. “Uh, Brian, what are you doing? Brian?”

Brian finally looked up. “Hey, Mel.”

“Whatcha doing?

“Thinking.”

“Thinking about what?”

“How much better it would be for everyone if I wasn’t here anymore. I am useless.”

“Brian, you are choosing to be useless.  You only need to get off your ass and do something.”

“It just wouldn’t be me anymore and Justin doesn’t need me around to weigh him down.”

“You can pass this on to him but it is all on you, Brian. Get off your ass and learn how to do what you need to learn. Now give me those pills.”

Just as Mel was taking  the pills away Justin rushed in the door. He instantly took in what was going on. Mel removed all the pills and nodded to Justin as she walked out. Justin had no strength left.  He had spent the last 6 hours trying to keep the office going and had succeeded in keeping the client with the idea he threw out. He may have slept 8 hours in the last 3 nights.  He just sat down, dropped his head in his hands, and cried.

“Stop crying over me!” Brian said angrily at Justin,  “I don’t need your tears. I just want you to let me go! Let me end it.  I am no go for you or anyone else. I can’t do my job or anything else for that matter.  I can’t even make love to you, no matter how much I want to. Just let me go.”

“I can't do that.  You own my heart! If you kill yourself, I am the one who will die inside! Trust me your heart will still be beating. It's  looking for the life it needs and that isn't there any more. So no, Brian, I am not crying over you I'm crying over me. I'm the one that’ll be left with an empty heart, a heart that’s dead. You may as well kill me at the same time. I can’t live without you!”

With that Justin walked out.  He went to the art studio and locked the door.  He got out paints and a canvas and disappeared into his painting.

He knew at some point he heard the elevator and what sounded like a cart with food on it. He did not leave the room. If Brian was going to do it he wasn’t going to watch and he wasn’t going to react. He was done playing his game.  He had done everything he could.

Brian sat in silence.  Was Mel write? Was he choosing to be worthless?  Did he have something to offer? His mind was going a mile a minute.  Maybe he needed to look at this different. He heard the elevator ascending and stopping.  It was the first time he really realized how sensitive his hearing had become, not to mention his sense of smell.  He didn’t know who it was but something smelled amazing.

Linda brought in a tray of food.  “You hungry?”

“It smells really good.”

Linda took out a tray.  

“Do I smell chicken?  Brian takes another sniff.  Maybe fried chicken from some carry out place.  Do I smell mashed potatoes? Maybe coleslaw?”

‘Brian, came up to see if you needed to talk but I get the feeling you have had a change of thoughts on your own.”

“I don’t know if it was on my own but what Mel said and then what Sunshine said finally made sense.Anything I do will affect him so I need to do what is right for both of us..  He really is as special as I think.”

“If you hadn’t just said that I was going to knock it into your head. He is one of the most committed people I have ever  met in my life. Do you know he has been running your company? Dan told me he actually has built more clients up since you have been here. But, he can’t keep it up.  He has been keeping up with his tour and helping out Jarod from here. And he needs to paint. That is his life blood especially when he didn’t have you for support. It wasn’t your fault in the beginning but it is now time for you to step up.  Yes, your life has changed but you can live without your sight. Can you live without Justin, your Sunshine? No, and he can’t live if you aren’t here.”

Brian stood up shakily, using his cane he walked over to LInda. “Thank you. Thank Mel, too.” I am not saying this is going to be easy but I am going to make it work.”

“Can I make one more suggestion? I am no matter what you say.  Let Justin paint. I am going to stop in and let him know you are good but he needs to come out when he is ready.  It has been through a lot too. When he does come to you remember even though you can’t see you still have 4 senses that work well. Just because you can’t see his beauty it is still there.”

“Thanks, Linda.”

Linda knocked softly at the door of the studio. “Justin, do you need anything?” She heard some movement inside the room.  

The door opened. “Is he ok?”

“I don’t know what you said to him but I think it was  the kick in the ass he needed. He is going to let you come to him whenever you are ready.” Over his shoulder Linda saw his canvas.  “I’m sorry, you didn’t invite me to see your painting but I have and, Justin, it is exquisite!” He invited her in. She stood in front of the picture unable to take it in.” It was Brian. It bared his soul by just the look on his face.  It showed pain, and fear, and confusion, and his beauty, “I have no other words. Just seeing this picture I know his emotions, his feelings. I will leave you alone. Do you need anything?

“I am good, LInda.  I just need a little more time.”

She kissed his cheek. “Take the time you need, Justin. Brian is done with the foolishness.”

It was nearly two in the morning when Justin came out of the studio and stopped by the bathroom before going to the bedroom.  He tried being quiet, not wanting to wake a sleeping Brian. He slipped out of his clothes and slid in the sheets. Before he realized it Brian had moved close to him.  

“I am so sorry, Sunshine. I am not sure what to say. I promise it will be different starting tomorrow.” He moved to claim Justin’s lip as his own.  He needed to taste him. He explored the inside of his mouth with his tongue. He nibbled on his lips. He had to move carefully but he needed to do this.  He needed to reclaim his heart. He sniffed at his hair and as he got to his chest he smelled his skin. He smelled paint on him. He smelled the essence of Justin.  There was a faint scent of sweat and deodorant,

Justin wasn’t sure what Brian was doing but Justin felt it was something he needed to do. As he slipped down farther he started getting whiff of musky scent that was Justin. His hands trailed down Justin’s legs feeling the well developed muscles.  He then came back up, moving slowly as he had to get his leg in the right angle. This time he latched onto Justin’s manhood.he needed to taste him. There was already a saltiness to the drops of fluid that were on the tip. He rolled his tongue around the crown several times enticing it with little nips. He suckled like it was his nourishment.

“Brian, Oh my God, Brian what are you doing to me?”

“I am claiming what is mine!” And with that Justin had an orgasm stronger than he could remember. He didn’t realize it at first but he had shouted at the release.

Brian returned to hi mouth and claimed it with more passion than Justin had felt from him in months. He entwined his fingers with Justin’s and continued kissing him with the passion of a newly wed.                                                          

Brian guided Justin’s hand down his body.  As it dipped below his waist Justin came across a very unexpected joy. Although he still needed a little encouragement Brian had obviously had a reaction to their lovemaking.  

It was Justin’s turn. He slid slowly down Brian’s body, hands and lips everywhere. He worked his way down until he saw the effect he had been having on him. “Oh, Baby, I want you inside me.  If we are very careful do you think we can do this? If you lay on your good side I am coming back to you. If it hurts you, Baby, I will stop. Justin positioned himself and slowly pushed against Brian’s erection and slowly Brian entered him. Justin did most of the moving since Brian still had to be very careful but the pleasure both men felt was beyond any they had had in all their lovemaking.  Their souls were reuniting as well as their fractured hearts.

Brian’s mouth was busy on Justin’s neck. He continued to taste and smell this man he loved.  He didn’t ever want to forget what he looked like. “God, you are beautiful, Justin. I may not be able to see you but I know you.  I will always know you. I love you, Sunshine. I am so sorry you doubted that.”

Quietly and gently they both found contentment both physically and spiritually.  They were one again.

Justin turned to face Brian and be absorbed in his arms. They again couldn’t get enough of each other.They kissed, touched, smelled.  They were both ready again for release. “Please, Sunshine, I need you.”

“Brian, I don’t know…..”

“I trust you, Sunshine, and I need to feel you.It has been so long since we……” Justin went around the bed so he was behind Brian since Brian’s mobility was limited.  

Justin started by dragging his nails lightly down Brian’s sides and, slipping on a condom and some lube he very slowly entered Brian, knowing it had been months for him to be in this position. “You ok?”

“Yes,” Brian said through gritted teeth. “Please, keep going.”  After a little more pushing Justin could move more freely and Brian was soon fighting to control his movements. Justin wrapped an arm around Brian’s waist trying to limit his movements. With one last thrust they both collapsed and as the sun rose, Justin moved back to the front of Brian and back into his arms.  They both slept in peace they hadn’t known for months..

 

Chapter 12

Justin thought he was dreaming.  He dreamt someone was stroking his cock. He didn’t want to wake up.  It felt so good Then the hands moved up. They roamed across his stomach and then over his chest.  Was a dream supposed to hurt? His nipple had just gotten bit. He slowly opened his eyes and there was Brian suckling as his hands slid down Justin’s arms to his hands where they linked fingers.  Justin smiled at him. “Good Morning,” he said in a sleep filled voice.

Brian drug his mouth up Justin’s neck and claimed his lips.  “Good Morning, Sunshine.” He went right back to assaulting his mouth.

Justin pushed Brian back just an inch.  “Do you know how much I missed this?”

“You are preaching to the choir, Justin.  Want to help me out a bit?” Brian moved Justin’s hand down to his dick.  He was fully erect.

“ I might be able to do something about that.  He started sliding down Brian’s body. He stopped and looked up into Brian’s face.  “You know, this started working just in time.”

Brian tensed a bit, “Why is that?”

“I was ready to call your mom down here to see if she could get a ‘rise’ out of you!”

Brian looked blankly and then started laughing.  Soon he was laughing so hard he put his hand on his pelvis because it started hurting from the strain.  

“That is just cruel, using such threats.” A few years earlier when Brian had cancer he had the same problem until his mother stopped by one day.  She had read him the riot act about going to hell because he was gay. Brian had told her in no uncertain terms he wasn’t changing his life style for anyone and after that he was no longer blocked.  “Now get down there and help a guy out.”

Justin gladly relieved is strain. Soon they were back in each others arms. Brian’s hands seemed to be everywhere at once. “You aren’t missing a beat are you?”  So can we stay in bed until Monday?”

“Can’t think of anything I would rather do. Just remember I am going to keep ‘looking at you’.”  With that he wiggled his fingers and started running them up his sides sending Justin into a bout of giggles.

About noon Brian pulled his lips away from one of Justin’s shoulder blades and said, “I hear the elevator.”  

Justin hadn’t noticed until Brian said it.  There was a knock on the door. “Um, excuse me guys,” It was Linda’s voice.  “I don’t want to interrupt anything but...you both need to eat something besides...um...each other.”

“Come in, Linda.  I hope Justin is decent.” Justin swatted Brian.

Linda walked in with a tray of food.  “Don’t expect this again but after the night you two had we thought you could use a little pampering.”  Both men were literally radiating love. “Enjoy yourself, boys. Dinner will be ready at 7:00. I will make enough for you both. You can’t live on love for very long,” and Linda was gone.

The men enjoyed breakfast in bed.  The ladies had outdone themselves. They fed each other bites of sweet roll, strawberries dipped in whip cream, and a variety of other treats.  Brian’s aim wasn’t always the best but he soon got better at sensing Justin’s movements and location. Justin was amazed at how fast he was catching on now that he had set his mind to learning it. He was also amazed at Brian’s insatiable appetite for sex.  He didn’t know why it really surprised him but it had been so long and in all honesty what they both wanted was an all out fuck session which wasn’t possible yet because of Brian’s hip. Oh, they were both satisfied, but the day all restrictions were lifted would be the day NO ONE would see them, maybe for several days.

It was about 4:00 pm when Justin noticed Brian was sleeping.  He pulled on his shorts and went to the studio. He knew he should  be sleeping, too, but he needed to paint. The room was getting late afternoon sun filtering in through the window. He went to the canvas and started working on his painting.  

Brian woke up and reached out to find no one. He was glad his phone had a feature that said the time out loud.  It was nearly 7:00. He felt around and found his shorts and his cane. He walked toward the elevator. He heard Justin in the studio so decided he was going to get the food himself. He got on the elevator.  He hoped the buttons were like a standard elevator. He tried to picture them in his mind from using it to move supplies when he helped with the renovations. He was sure he was right and pushed a button. The doors closed and the car descended.  He didn’t feel sure enough of this part of the house os he called out, “Ladies?”

Melody came around the corner. “Brian,” she said with a little question in her voice.  

“ I came down for our dinner.  Justin’s busy painting so I thought I would surprise him. God, I hope I can do this.”

“You can do this.  Let me help you set up the cart so you can find what you need.”

They set up the cart so  Brian knew where everything was. He got back on the elevator and took it back up.  He rolled the cart out and moved it to the lounge. He moved very slowly so he didn’t bump into anything with the cart.  He set up the table and then went back to the studio.

As usual Justin had lost track of time. Before he realized it, arms came from behind him. Brian breathed in deeply.  He smelled Justin. He loved that smell. He, also, smelled paint and maybe brush cleaner. All those smells were Justin. “I thought I might find you here.  What are you painting?” He nuzzled Justin’s neck, doing his best to distract him.

“I’m painting this striking man I know. He is beautiful inside and out.  His soul is the most beautiful part about him. He has a depth to his chocolate colored eyes,” By now Justin was facing that face. “A depth that the man who loves him gets lost in.  And even though those eyes no longer see the physical he knows every inch of the man he loves inside and out.”

Justin clung to Brian.  “I love you so much, Brian.  I was so worried you were never going to come back to me. And when I thought I may have lost you forever last night, I needed to show others who you really are.”’

Justin glanced at the clock.  “Oh, shit, I need to go get our dinner.  I am late.”

“No you don’t.  Follow me.”

He led the way to the lounge. He stood there proudly as Justin walked in.  

“Did Mel or Linda bring this up?”

“No, I went down and got it myself.”

Justin stepped into Brian’s arms and pushed him against the wall. “You don’t know how HOT that makes me and if I wasn’t starving I would take you back to the bedroom right now.”

He crushed Brian’s mouth for a long minute.  “Let’s eat.”

The change in Brian by the end of the weekend was remarkable.  Justin knew that starting work tomorrow would be a whole new thing.  Brian was comfortable at the house and he would be comfortable in his surroundings at the office but it would take time for him to get the number of steps down between objects and they really hadn’t explored how he would do his job.  Justin was planning on calling a sight clinic to get assistance with computer options, etc. first thing Monday morning. Brian seemed cool with everything now but Justin knew there were going to be many bumps along the way.

Monday morning Brian woke up early.  He was nervous. He started to slip out of bed when a hand from the other side grabbed his arm.  

“Not that fast.  Come over here.”

Justin met Brian in the middle of the bed. Just glanced below Brian’s waist and as expected, Brian had a raging boner. “What were you planning to do with that?”

“Isn’t that what the shower is for?”

“Not when your boyfriend is here. Do you think you are ready to try a little more activity than the shower?”

Justin wanted the Brian back that could pound the hell out of him as well as being sweet and sensitive as he had been all weekend.  “I have been thinking about this. Do you think you can balance well enough on your good leg and with the help of the cane keep your balance.  If I am on all fours on the edge of the bed….”

Brian smiled.  “This might work. Please don’t expect a Rage experience but. “

Justin got up on his hands and knees giving Brian full access to his ass.  Brian quickly surprised him by using his fingers. He forced them into him. Over and over he pushed first one , then two, and finally 3 as far into him as could.  He then wrapped his arm around Justin’s waist and with the help of his cane, balanced himself, and then as hard as he dared he slammed his erection into Justin.

:Justin cried out, not in pain but pure pleasure.  After the third stroke Brian had to slow down and be more gentle. Once they had both released, Brian walked to the bathroom without a word.

Justin collected his composure and followed Brian into the bathroom.  Although the shower was small Justin stepped in behind Brian.

“Sorry, Justin.  I guess I am still a little weaker than I thought.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, Brian.  Three days ago we didn’t have any of this. I am so proud of everything you have gained just this weekend. But, please, Brian don’t get too discouraged at work.  You can’t expect to learn everything over in a few days. I plan to be there as long as you need me to help get stuff straightened out. You can do anything, Brian.” They had dried each other off as Justin had talk.

Soon Brian was dressed in a suit and Justin put on what he considered office attire and they were out the door.

As Brian walked into the office on Justin’s arm the staff cheered. Gale, Daphne, and Sharon all greeted him.  Daphne gave him and Justin a hug. Justin walked Brian over to meet the new staff he had hired in the last couple weeks.  They were actually college interns that received college credit and a small salary.

Brian independently walked to his office.  Justin held his breath but Brian walked to the door like he could see it.  Daphne and Justin smiled at each other and Justin followed him in.

“You hired staff without me?  What else did you do while I was out.”

Justin didn’t know if he should cheer or growl.  This was the business Brian. It was his domain.

“Well, Brian.  With you out we needed some extra help in the office. They are college interns.  Their salaries are small but it will pay for groceries for the month. One works in the art department with Gale and the second one has a business degree and is helping Daph.  Daph picked up several things you usually deal with so she couldn’t answer all the calls that were coming in.”

“I’m sorry, Sunshine. I didn't mean to make you feel like you were being interrogated in any way. I guess I kind of blocked out the office when I was so self absorbed.  I had no idea how many hours you spent here.”

“Before you trip over it, you should know I moved a desk in for me.” He explained where it was located.

“You could have just used my mine.”

“No I couldn’t.  That is yours. So I set up my own.  Now let me tell you what else is going on.”

It was noon when they  finished the review. “How did you learn all that?” Brian looked in Justin’s direction.”I’ve watched the master.  Why don’t we order some lunch. What are you hungry for? “ They decided on soup and sandwiches and were told they would have 45 minutes before it arrived.  

Justin locked the office door. “Justin, what are you doing?”  He then flipped the switch that clouded the glass along the glass wall to the lobby. “Justin?”

“We have 45 minutes and I would hate to waste that.  If you can find me all the way over here on the couch…..”

Brian strode over.  He had a natural grace and instinct.  In this environment you would never know he couldn’t see. Justin stood to greet him.  His hands unbuckled Brian’s belt and opened the fly to his trousers. He then made sure he could sit comfortably. “Are you comfortable? “

Brian nodded.

Justin leaned over and took Brian in his mouth.  Maybe it was because Brian had been doing it so much but he noticed the taste and smell of him. He couldn’t believe Brian had actually made it back to work.  He licked and sucked until Brian exploded into his mouth in a sigh. Justin climbed onto the couch next to Brian. They both dozed.

“Brian, Justin, guys, your lunch is here!” Daphne hollard through the locked door.

“Coming, Daphne.” Justin unlocked the door and flipped the switch to make the glass clear again.

Brian and Justin ate their lunch and went back to their desks.  An hour later he saw Brian asleep in his chair. He quietly went out to the lobby and let Daphne know they were heading home. Walking back in the office he said, “Hey, sleeping beauty, time to go home.”

Brian stirred. “Oh, I must have drifted off. It’s not time to go home.”

“Yes, it is Baby. You need to work up to full days and besides, I don’t want you worn out tonight!!”

Brian smirked as he stood up. “By all means.”

They took a cab back to the house.  “Justin, what do you think about moving back to our place? I am sure I can handle the steps.”

“You have a  doctor’s appointment on Friday. We can ask him then.  Maybe we can move this weekend. You might even be able to get into the hot tub now which actually might take away some of your stiff muscles.”

“You help a whole lot with the stiff muscles.”  They both chuckled.

Brian laid down once they got home and was soon was sound asleep. Justin headed into the studio.  This painting had to be done before the move because he needed this light.

The  week continued as it had on Monday.  On Friday they went to the doctor’s first thing in the morning.Justin waited for him in the waiting room.  He looked at the progress of the pelvis and was very pleased. “Well, I would say that you still need to listen to your pain.  If it is sore or tired take it easy. Keep the cane handy for a couple more weeks.”

“So I can take steps again?”

“As long as you don’t try taking them two at a time.”

“And sex?”

“Again, listen to your body.  From your look and demeanor you haven’t been celibate for some time but if your leg isn’t hurting you are cleared to do whatever it is you want to do.”  Brian wanted to kiss him but thought better of it.

The nurse led Brian out to the waiting room where Justin met him.  As they walked out Justin was eager to hear what the doctor had said.  “So are we moving back into our place tomorrow? Are you screwing my brains out tonight?”

Brian responded, “Yes and no.  Yes, we can move back into our place tomorrow but no, I am not going to screw your brains out tonight.””

The look of disappointment on Justin’s face was heartbreaking. As they got into the car for the ride home.  Brian gave him the address of their place rather than the ladies.

I thought we could stop by the house and see what we need to pick up tomorrow on our way..

They paid the driver and Justin punched in the code.  Justin could tell Brian was counting steps as he walked.  They were soon at the door. Justin unlocked it and entered.  

“Let’s go upstairs.”  Brian said. “There are a few things we may need to move around so I don’t trip over them.”

They headed upstairs and entered the bedroom. Brian faced Justin.” I may have told you a partial truth.”

“What is it, Brian “  Justin had real concern in his voice.      Brian took another step toward Justin, who took a step backward and another and another. Brian grabbed at the waist of Justin’s pants  and pushed them down as he pushed Justin down on the bed. At the same time he let his pants fall to the floor.  “Brian, what did you hold back?

“I am not going to screw your brain’s out  tonight because I am going to do it RIGHT NOW!.

Brian took control having Justin lay on his stomach..Brian would have liked to straddle Justin but didn’t want to risk that. He started at Justin’s neck. Brian breathed in the slight sent of Justin’s cologne and his shampoo.  Brian trailed his tongue from his shoulder blades down to the crack of his ass and then he continued down until his tongue pressed into Justin several times.

Justin moaned.

Brian than had him flip to his back.  Brian took Justin’s legs and draped them over his shoulder and slowly but forcefully Brian entered Justin and then drove in over and over with a desire he has had to suppress for months.  If only he could see Justin’s face. Justin’s love always shone out of him.

Brian leaned over and kissed him as he drove in over and over. Finally Justin tightened around Brian and he exploded at the same time Brian did. Brian flipped to his back and lay next to Justin both with grins on their face. Justin reached for Brian’s hand.  “You didn’t hurt yourself did you?”

“I would take any pain level to hear you enjoy yourself like that.”

Justin rolled into Brian and just drew in his warmth. “God, I love you.  I always have and I always will.”

“What was that?” Brian went on alert.

Justin heard it just as Dan popped in the door with his gun drawn.  

“Looks like I’m not the only one who has their gun drawn.”

That’s when Brian and Justin realized they were laying there naked. Justin grabbed a throw and covered them.

“Don’t need to cover up on my part, guys.  It’s not like I haven’t seen it before. Glad to see you home! Are you here to stay?”

“We will be back tomorrow.”

“From what it appears happened you must be healing well, Brian.  I got the feeling you could use a little space so I hadn’t been bugging you.”

“How about dinner on my patio around 6:30 or 7:00 tomorrow night? That way you won’t have to worry about food right away.

With that Dan left so they could dress in private.  

As they left Justin made sure Brian knew the distance to the stairs.  He didn’t need Brian to fall down them.

As they road back to the house they discussed what they would do for the women. They had been so kind and generous to them.

“Justin,  do you have a painting they would like?”

“Actually, I think I might. I painted it while we were here.”

“They don’t want a picture of me.”

“That’s not the picture I was thinking of. I have one of their flower garden or what I think it would have looked like 100 years ago.”

“That sounds perfect.”

“I would love to make them dinner tonight.  We will see if they have plans.”

That night the four friends sat in the formal dining room. Justin had made a wonderful meal and they laughed throughout the evening.  They may be an odd combination but they really had a lot in common. They had picked up a cheesecake for dessert. And as Brian carefully carried in the cheesecake Justin carried in the painting he had done for them.  

The women loved the painting.  When Brian and Justin went upstairs the women were still looking at the details.

They had packed up their belongings earlier and had someone picking them up tomorrow.  Justin had packed up the paintings he had done while he was here.

That night the men lay in each other’s arms.  “I will never forget this place..” Justin said. “So much happened here in the short time we lived here. I think our lives changed here.”

“I think we did,” Brian said.  “I know you showed me what a selfish bastard I can be and really how lucky I am to have you in my life and you reminded me I don’t have a life without you. I know I still have a lot to learn without being able to see anything. I miss seeing everything but if I could just see you once more.” He ran his fingers down Justin’s face.  “You are so beautiful. But luckily you are more beautiful inside than you are on the outside and that shines within your soul which you share with me. I love you more than I could ever imagine.”

Placing their  palms on the heart of the other, they drifted off as the rhythm of their hearts beat as one.

Saturday was a busy day.  After breakfast Justin was moving boxes to  the area designated for pickup for the movers. “Where are the boxes?  I can help get them where they need to go.”

“No, you cannot.”  Justin knew this was going to happen.  

“Justin, I can pick up a box….”

“And use your cane like you are still supposed to?”

“I don’t need that cane around here.”

Justin walked over to the doorway Brian was standing in.He reached up and draped his arms on Brian’s shoulders. “Sir, are you enjoying our bedroom activities?”  Brian’s smile said it all. “Well, Sir, if you pick up one box wrong and strain or re-injure, um, parts do you really want to wait weeks again.”

“You do know where to hit a horny man!”

Justin reached down and grabbed Brian’s crotch. He looked at his watch, estimating when the movers would get here and dropped to his knees.

As his mouth took in all of Brian’s cock, Brian took in a quick breath and a long sign, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Oh, I expect repayment, tonight, in our place!”

Sometime later Justin stood up and zipped up Brian’s pants.  “Now, go sit down and stay out the the way. I have plans for this gorgeous body later tonight.”  Brian reluctantly went into the lounge. Justin let out a sigh of relief. He really still needed to treat Brian with kid gloves.  Brian was a proud man and he had so many things to accept. If he could soften something it was worth it.

By 3:00 pm Justin and Brian were drinking a beer on their patio of their house.   

After enjoying dinner with Dan they meandered back to their house. By the time they got in the door both were thinking of only one thing.  Bed!

They spent Saturday evening and all day Sunday just enjoying their place, their movies, and each other.

It had been so good being in their own place.  For Justin it had been 6 months since he had spent more than a couple nights here. He really did love their oasis in the city.  They walked through the gate and they were transported into another world. It was usually a place of peace and relaxation.

The alarm went off Monday morning.  Justin looked over at Brian. This perfect, beautiful man was his life but now he felt imperfect. He couldn’t see that a flaw in his physical being had no effect on who he truly was.

“I can feel you staring at me.” Brian said as he reached for Justin.

“I was just lusting at your gorgeous body.”

“That’s what all the boys say.”

Justin claimed those perfect lips with his own.  He sucked on Brian’s tongue, stroked the inside of his mouth, claiming him for his own. How can he continue to love him so much? They were one.

“I would love to do this all day but we have a business to run. Meet you in the shower in 2 minutes.”

Justin jumped out of bed and went to the shower, starting the water. Soon Brian was slipping in behind him.  He was also slipping into Justin. This was the only way to start the morning! After soaping each other down and rinsing off Justin pressed his wet slippery body against Brian.

“I hate to tell you this but we better get going.  This boss of ours is a tyrant.  We better get going!

Now it was time to start the work week.  Justin had a little suspicion there would be a few bumps ahead.  Today someone was coming to start working with Brian. He had done amazingly well making adjustments at home but work was another story.  His computer needed to be adapted for verbal prompts. He was such a visual person. At home he could ‘see’ with his hands. Justin smiled at the thought of Brian ‘looking’ at him. His hands were everywhere. But, at work, that wasn’t possible in most cases. Hopefully, the instructor would have some ideas and even more importantly, Brian will follow the suggestions. Not everyone could work with Brian and he had tried to make that clear to the agency sending them.

Brian and Justin arrived at work ahead of the instructor. Justin tried to prepare him. “Brian, when the instructor gets here remember they are here to help you. I know you know the ad business but they want to help you adjust to it now.”

Brian wrapped his arm around Justin’s waist as he sat in his chair. He pressed his face into Justin’s crotch.   “You make me sound like a tyrant.”

Justin’s breath hitched as Brian continued nuzzling his cock. “You’re a loveable tyrant.

The phone buzzed and Brian picked it up. “Kinney, Ya, Daph send her in.” Brian got one of his cynical smiles.  “Sounds like my prey is here.” He pulled Justin down for a kiss as he heard the door open.

Justin was sure the kiss was for the instructors benefit.  It was far longer than the quick one he expected, not that he was complaining.  He could never get enough of this man. He finally pulled away and turned toward the door.

There stood a beautiful, young brunette. She was about 5’4” and might weigh 100 pounds. Justin almost cringed.  Brian was going to chew her up and spit her out before lunch.

“Good morning, gentlemen. I’m Janna. I am here to see how Mr. Kinney can be as efficient as possible.”

Justin walked toward her, hand extended.  “Nice to meet you, Janna. I’m Justin Taylor.” Janna thought he looked familiar but she was sure they hadn’t met before. He must have one of those faces, and what a gorgeous face it was.

Brian stood up and maneuvered around his desk.  He offered his hand to the air and Janna walked up and shook it. “Mr. Kinney, I presume.” Speaking of gorgeous faces this man could have been a model.

“That would be me. My boyfriend, here, thinks you are in for a hard job.  I am afraid he may be right. Just giving you a head’s up.”

“Well, thanks for the warning, I think?” She laughed a little.” Justin liked her.  He hoped Brian would give her a chance.

“Well, if the two of you will excuse me I need to do some work in the art department.  Would you like a tour before I go?” Justin asked.

“No, that’s OK. Mr. Kinney can show me around.” was Janna’s response.

Justin smiled at her and nodded as he walked out to look at some proofs Gale had ready.

Janna didn’t waste any time.  As soon as that adorable Justin had left the room she addressed her client. “So, Mr. Kinney…”

Brian cut her off.  “Janna, if you are going to grow to hate me you might as well call me Brian.”

“Why do you think I am going to hate you?”

“Well, I am stubborn, opinionated, bossy, do I need to list any more?”

“Well, many of my friends and family would say the exact same things about me.  Where would you like to start. I would like a tour so I can see any potential hazards.  After that we can review what is most important about your job and then we can figure out how to adjust it.”

“Considering I am in a visual field I am not sure what you can help with.?”

Janna noticed the shift in attitude.  As soon as Justin had left a dark shadow had fallen over Brian’s personality. “Shall we take that tour now. You have beautiful offices here. Did you have a designer come in?”

“Yes, of course! But Justin and I made the design choices. Color, styles, etc.  Justin is an artist and I know what I like.”

“That’s where I have seen him before. He’s Justin Taylor.  The Justin Taylor! His work is amazing! I knew he was young but… I was in D.C. last week and a friend took me to see show.  I should have recognized him.” Janna caught herself. “I apologize. I am working. I shouldn’t keep going on.”

“I am the first one to talk about his talent.  Besides his face, his work is what I miss most.” Brian’s voice trailed off.

Janna realized how much this man was still hurting. This was the first time she noticed he had a cane to his side.

“Oh, I almost forgot. I was told you had been hurt when you lost your sight.”

“Ya, my pelvis was shattered.  It is healed now. I guess I use the cane more because I can’t see than because I need it to walk.”

“I will bring you a white cane tomorrow when I come.”

“I don’t want one of those. I don’t want people to think…”

“To think you are blind?  There is nothing wrong with being blind! If it is a pride thing, get over it.  It is a safety thing. Like it or not you need those around you to know you are blind.”

“It is really none of their business.”

“Brian, if something is on the sidewalk and you trip over it you could fall into someone else who in turn could fall and get hurt.  Most people respond to the white cane and also it would help you find the object before you end up on the ground.

Brian didn’t reply to that. “I’ll show you the office,” he said sullenly as he walked out the door.

Janna would never have said it but she was impressed with Brian’s assuredness. There was usually a hesitation in the gait of a recently blind person but Brian didn’t have that.  She got the feeling Brian expected everything to be where he expected it to be and it always was. She could feel the attitude come off him in waves. If that man was straight every woman in New York would want him.  

Brian showed her a couple small conference rooms and offices down a side hall. He then walked into the art department. She couldn’t believe what she saw.  Justin was standing next to another young man looking at something. Neither was making any sound and yet Brian’s head turned to their direction. If the room was smaller she would say he could smell something familiar on Justin like shampoo or that he could hear his breathing but in a room this size with more people around none of that was likely.  Brian knew he was there, instinctively. She had heard of people having this kind of connection but she had never seen it. Brian was a little more cautious in this room. He knew chairs could be left out or materials could be leaning against a work table. Soon he was next to Justin and had his arm around his waist.

“What are you working on?” Brian asked.

“One of the new accounts.  They wanted some minor changes to the coloring.” Justin gave him a brief rundown of the layout.

“Sounds like you have it all ready for approval.” Brian kissed Justin’s cheek and walked away.  

Janna followed for the rest of the tour.  She could tell Brian had a very effective team working for him.  She wasn’t sure if Justin usually worked here part of the time or not but he was definitely in charge now. Janna made a mental note to talk to Justin alone.  She wanted to do that anyway. She wanted to find out what made an artist like that tick.

After spending three hours with Brian she was about ready to go for the day.  She had a lot of information she needed to process and research to do. Justin walked in as she was putting away her tablet. She motioned to him that she wanted to talk to him.  

“Hey, Brian, do you want to eat here before we go home for the day or would you like to stop somewhere on the way home.” Justin asked.

“Let’s go home.” His tone was flat when he responded.

“Ok, I will be back in about 10 minutes.” He walked out again

“I will see you tomorrow, Brian.  Around 9:00 good?”

“Sure.”

Janna walked out to find Justin waiting for her.  They moved away from the office not wanting Brian to hear them. “So, do  you think you will be able to make adaptations for Brian?” Justin asked hopefully.

“I admit with his line of work it isn’t going to be easy.  I will research some computer programs this afternoon. I find him fascinating. I am sure you realize you are his anchor.  I don’t know if that is new or if that preceded the accident. It is so obvious how close you are. I have never seen someone who can’t see, hone in on a person across the room like he did with you.  I think that is amazing but could be detrimental down the line.Do you usually work at Kinnetik?”

“No, I just stepped in because the company had to keep going. He built it from nothing.

“ I don’t want you to make any changes right now but down the line you may have to remove yourself so he has to step up. We will have to see how things go but I wanted to let you know what I observed so far.”

“Thanks.”

“By the way, Justin, I feel odd calling you Justin.  You are Justin Taylor. I have to tell you that I think your work is amazing. I mean it is breathtaking in every way.”

By now, Justin was embarrassed.  “I am glad you like it.’

“I’m sorry, I just needed to let you know.  I will see you tomorrow,” and Janna was gone.

Justin quickly grabbed some things from the art room and headed back to Brian’s office. “Sorry, that took so long.”

“Finally get done talking about me?

Justin laughed, “We did talk about you a couple of minutes, however, the majority of the time she happened to be gushing over me. She happened to see my show in D.C.”

Brian walked over to where Justin stood.  “I am so glad I got to see your show before….”  He paused for a couple seconds. “At least I will always know what your lips look like and how to find them.  He took Justin in his arms and held him close.

After a few moments Justin said, “I think it is time we head back to our place. Well, first stop to eat somewhere.  I am getting hungry. “

“So am I!” Brian started nibbling on Justin’s neck.

About that time the door to the office opened and Daphne walked in.  “Really? Come on, guys, now that you are at your own place I shouldn’t have to see it here.”

“I am sorry, Daph, but as long as you work here you will need to expect it from time to time.”

“Time to time?  More like all the time!”

“Did you need something?” Justin asked.

“Oh, ya, Justin, I just got a call about the new car ad.  Did the final copy get sent off today?”

“Yes, well, Gale should have it ready before the mail pickup this afternoon.”

“Great.  Thanks, Boss.”  With that Daphne walked out.

“Ready to go?” Justin took Brian’s hand as they headed for the door.

As they walked to the corner deli, Brian quietly said, “When did she start calling you Boss?”

“You know Daph, she was just messing with me. If anything she’s been my boss.”

Brian knew he shouldn’t take this to heart but it did sting a bit.

They ordered at the deli.  Justin noticed a pattern when they ate out.  Brian would pick a sandwich and sometimes soup but never anything like a salad where it might be hard to get the food on the fork. He would talk to Janna about that soon.

Although Brian was getting stronger every day, he still tired easily. It might help if they slept a little more at night, Justin chuckled to himself. Brian usually laid down for an hour or two after they returned home.  That was Justin’s time to paint. Justin was busy working on his latest canvas when his phone rang. Without looking at the distraction he said, “Ya.” His paintbrush was mid stroke.

“Hey, Justin.” Jarod’s voice came across the line.

“Oh, god, Jarod!  It is so good to hear you voice!.” They had been in contact at least once a week through the remainder of the tour but after it was done Jarod had gone to Omaha to spend time with his father.  “How is Omaha? How is Larry? Anyone to tell me about?”

“I’m good.  I just thought I would let you know that I am coming back to New York at the end of the week.”

“Really? That is great!  I can’t wait to see you. We have so much to talk about?”

“How is Brian doing?” Jarod asked a bit hesitant.

“He is improving every day.  He is working part time at the office.  I think by the end of next week he will be back to full time.”

“That sort of answered my question but how is he really doing? Maybe I should ask when he made you cry last.”

“Jarod, you know he doesn’t mean that.  Really, things have gotten much better. He doesn’t ‘make’ me cry.   Can we not talk about this on the phone?” As the last sentence was spoken Justin heard the door behind him shut. “Ah, shit! I need to go.  Call me when you make it into the city and we will get some time together.” With that Justin ended the call, took a deep breath, and went out to find Brian.

Justin found Brian standing by the patio doors, staring with blank eyes. Justin slipped his arms around Brian’s waist from behind.  “How much did you hear?”

“I’m so sorry I have made you cry.  I am sorry you have had so much extra work.  I am sorry you have had to put up with me for months, many of them celibate.  I am sorry I am useless at work causing you to stop painting or you don’t sleep because you need to paint.”  Brian paused to take a shuddering breath. That is when Justin noticed he was crying and tightened his arms around him. And I wouldn’t blame you if you need to be with Jarod.  I mean I know you love me but I am just madness in your life right now. If you need to be with him for a while I can understand why.”

When Brian had quit talking, Justin wasn’t sure he could speak without crying. He laid his head on Brian’s back. “Brian,” Justin steadied his voice the best he could. “Baby, I don’t want Jarod, for sex. I am glad he will be back in town because he is my friend.  That is all he is and all he will be. I love him but i am in love with you. How many times do I have to say it? Even if you could never fuck me again I would not leave you. Without you I would be nothing.” Brian resisted by Justin made him face him. He looked at the tear stained cheeks and kissed each one. “Your eyesight made you no more of a man than you are now.  If I see Jarod it is someone to talk to like you talk to Michael. That is all, Baby. If I cry it is just because you are hurting and when you hurt I hurt.”

Brian tightened his grip on Justin and clung to him.  

Brian clung to Justin like a drowning man hangs onto a life jacket.  No, like a drifting man hangs onto the anchor. Isn’t that what Janna had called him?  Brian needed an anchor right now but at some point he was going to have to let go of the anchor’s rope and hang on to his life jacket instead.  Yes, he would drift, but he was a survivor and he would survive and then thrive. But if he knew this, why did he have that little niggling doubt in the back of his mind. He had this gnawing feeling things were going to get worse before they got better.

Justin felt Brian’s grip relax a bit. He led them to the sectional and they sat down. Justin couldn’t resist that look on his face. “Oh, Baby,” was all Justin could get out.  He fluttered kisses all over Brian’s face. He ran his fingers through Brian’s hair and then just out of instinct took a handful of it jerking his head back and claiming Brian’s lips.  He assaulted them with force he rarely used. He pulled Brian’s head back farther and started nipping him. He was sure it stung. He then ripped open Brian’s shirt and pushed him backwards.  He claimed one of Brian’s nipples and bit down hard enough for Brian to jump. With his fingers he pinched the other one.

“Ouch, Justin, that hurts.”  Justin continued. “Justin, Stop.  That hurts.” Justin still continued.  Finally, Brian grabbed Justin’s shoulders and pushed him away.  “Stop it. That hurts.”

“Thank God! I wasn’t sure you had any fight left in you.  I’m sorry if I hurt you.” He licked the bruising spots and coming back up to Brian’s mouth and very gently kissed the lips that were now a little swollen.

“Fuck, now that I know you weren’t trying to inflict bodily harm I am SO TURNED ON!” Brian took over where Justin had left off and soon the men were naked on the sectional catching their breath.  “You really have to do that again, Sunshine, soon. I may never cool off after that onel”

The next morning Janna arrived at the office at 9:00 am as scheduled.  As she entered Brian’s office space Justin and Brian were discussing an ad campaign.  She was impressed at Justin’s descriptions to help Brian visualize what he was looking at.  Of course and artist would have a good visual perspective but not all of them would be able to put it into words like he did.  ‘If he wasn’t gay…’ her mind wandered for a moment, ‘I would be stalking him day and night.’

“Good morning, gentlemen.  Please continue your discussion.  I have a few things to organize anyway.”

“Good morning, Janna.” Justin responded. He was even polite.  Did he have any flaws? None that she could see.

Brian was another story.  He raised his hand in acknowledgement but said nothing.  She had an idea he had a fascinating story but she was sure she would never hear it.

As they wrapped up their conversation Justin stood.  “If you would like me to stay I can but if you don’t need me I have other things I can work on.”

“If you have about a half hour I would love to get your input.  With your background in art and technology I think you may have some ideas.”  

The next half hour the three of them sat around Brian’s desk reviewing some programs Janna had found and discussing what else had to be solved yet.  Brian participated but was quite subdued. He hated not being in control and right now he felt like he had no control over his work life. And worst of all some young woman was here trying to figure out his life and flirt with his boyfriend all at the same time.  He actually laughed at that thought. She was not someone that threatened his love life no matter how hard she tried. Jarod on the other hand…

Justin could tell the minute Brian shut down. He saw a veil go over Brian’s face. He wished he could read his mind.  He wished he knew where he retreated to when he did that.

Justin caught Janna’s eye and without saying anything got his point across. “Hey, guys, I just remembered a call I forgot to make this morning that I need to before noon.  If you don’t mind I will step into one of your conference rooms.”

Brian waved her away like you would dismiss a small child.  Justin reached over and took that hand. “Where’d you go just now?”

“I didn’t go anywhere.  I am right here, aren’t I?”

“Don’t give me that crap! I know you too well.  I saw your attention focus on something else.”

“If you know me so well I am surprised you  don’t know exactly what I am thinking. I mean you seem to have all the answers.”

“I am not going to go there with you.  You can try to create an argument but I am not going to play. When Janna gets back tell her I had work to do.”  Justin got up and left the room.

Brian slid down in his chair.  Why did he do that? Justin hadn’t done anything.  He was the one who thought about Jarod all on his own.  In fact, he knew Justin avoided using his name which wasn’t fair.  He just had the need to be possessive and protective of Justin and right now he couldn’t protect him but he couldn’t possess him either.

Janna returned to the office. “Justin have to go?”

“Ya, he had to go run my business since I can’t do it. Oh, and he has a business of his own to run. So, I guess he ran out of time trying to solve all my problems for me.”

“Considering you are your own worst problem I can understand that.” Janna responded. “He is busy and from now on I think the two of us can work on your problems so we aren’t wasting any of his valuable time.” Janna stopped, surprised at her own response.  Now she held her breath to see if she was sent out the door.

Brian sat in his chair with his unseeing eyes focused in the opposite direction. Brian jumped when Janna touched his shoulder. “Now that we both have had our little tantrums let’s get back to work.”  Janna stood and Brian did the same. They headed back to his computer for more training.

Justin needed something.  He wasn’t sure what. A drink,no, that wouldn’t solve anything.  Painting always helped him feel better but it didn’t solve anything. Did he need to see a therapist to figure out how to deal with this? He needed to talk to someone. He heard someone walk into the art department. He turned. He needed him.  There stood Jarod, in the flesh. And what beautiful flesh it was. He had forgotten what a good looking man he was. He walked over to him and threw his arms around him. “Your timing is perfect. Let’s get out of here.”

As the two men walked past Daphne, Justin stopped a second.  “Can you order some lunch for Brian. Tell him I will be back by,” He looked at his watch, “By three to take him home.” The look Justin gave her told Daphne not question him..  She just nodded and Justin was gone. She wasn’t sure she always liked Boss Justin.

Brian didn’t know how he knew but he knew Justin had left the building. He didn’t blame him.  He had his own life. He couldn’t be there for Brian every minute of every day.

He was drawn back to Janna, “Brian, are you paying any attention because if you aren’t I may as well go work with someone who wants to recover.”

“Ha, Recover!  After this long I doubt that will happen.  I won’t see again!”

“Who said anything about recovering your sight.  I said recover. To return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.  Since I had never met you before I don’t know what your normal state of mind was but I am betting you didn’t just sit back and let others do it for you.  You would not be this successful if you did. Are you really going to let the loss of your vision have you fold up and live off your boyfriend?” She saw the flinch of pain on his face. Had she gone too far? “She looked at her watch and realized it was after 1:00.  She had just expected Justin would come back. “Well, our time is up for the day. Would you like me to send Justin back when I leave?”

“Good luck with that.  He’s not here.”

“You didn’t tell me he was leaving.”

“He didn’t tell me he was leaving.  He left about a half hour ago.”

“Brian, you have been working with me the entire time. How do you know he isn’t in the art department?

“I just do.”

Just then Daphne walked in.  “Sorry for interrupting but I was guessing you were getting hungry, Brian. Justin asked me to order you a sandwich and tell you he will be back by 3 to take you home.”

“Where’d he go, Daph?” Brian questioned tersely.

“I don’t know, Brian.”

“Did he leave alone?” A little louder.

“No,” Daphne didn’t want to answer the next question she knew was coming.

“Who’d he leave with, Daphne?” This was not a request.

She hesitated a second too long.

In a defiant tone he said, “Never mind.  You don’t have to betray him. I know.”

Daphne walked out.

Janna stood there with her mouth hanging open after the tone he had just taken with Daphne and the conversation in general.

“Well, Brian, I will be back tomorrow at 9:00 am.”

As Janna walked out the door, Brian called, “Why, it is obvious I am wasting your time.”

Janna approached Daphne’s desk expecting the young woman to be shaken after the encounter with Brian but she found her calmly doing  her work.

“I don’t mean to bother you but is that normal for him? Has he always spoken to you like that?’

Daphne actually smiled a little.  “That is definitely one side of Brian I have dealt with before.  But this is the first time he has done it at work.”

“So you have known him for a while?”

“Justin and I have been best friends forever. Justin and Brian have been a couple most of the time since I was 17 so I know Brian very well. In fact one of the very first times I met him he stood there totally naked and didn’t flinch at all when he saw me.”

Daphne saw the look on Janna’s face.  “And to answer your question, Yes he is that gorgeous and even better than you can imagine.”

“OK, you went there.  How about Justin? Is he as beautiful as I think?”

“Justin is beautiful inside and out. And, no, I am not going into the details as how I know that.”

“Have they always had the connection they have now?”

“It has definitely gotten stronger but they have had a connection since day one.”

“So, why is he so upset now?”

“A good friend of Justin’s just arrived back in town. Brian is afraid that Jarod is trying to take Justin away from him.”

“Is he a real threat?”

“On a normal day I would say No way. But Justin is tired and he draws strength from Jarod….Crap I have no right to tell you this stuff.  Please, forget that.”

“Daphne, I just want Brian to succeed.  I shouldn’t be telling you this but I sometimes think their relationship might be too close for Brian to totally recover because he knows Justin will always be there for him and will never let him fall.  This distraction, Jarod, is going to do one of two things. Brian is going to fight his way out of this depression or he is going to crash. I think he will fight but the other is also possible. Thanks for talking to me.” Janna rushed out the door.  She was really late.

Justin and Jarod had left Kinnetik and went around the corner to a pub. Justin had picked up food there before but had never gone in to eat.  It was quiet this time of day and Justin and Jarod found a quiet booth in the back. They ordered two beers and sat and waited for them to come.  Jarod was just waiting Justin out. The beers came and Justin drank deeply and sat it down. Jarod wanted to take his hand but thought Justin looked to fragile for that.  

Finally Justin started talking.  He told Jarod everything. Much of this he had told him on the phone but he just needed to say it again and Jarod understood that. He told him how physically Brian was nearly back to normal except for his eyesight.  Jarod didn’t know Brian well but he had spent enough time with him and with Justin to know he was a good man but he was too proud. He was the one who usually took care of everyone else. Justin is probably the only person he will take help from which is why Justin was under such stress now.

Justin took a deep breath and another draw from his beer. “Sorry about that. I guess I just needed to talk. I have missed you.” Now Justin reached over and took Jarod’s hand.

A little shiver ran through Jarod. He hoped Justin didn't notice. He knew they would never be together but he couldn’t help remember the night they had spent together.

“You mentioned an instructor?”

“Ya, she is actually really good but Brian is fighting her.  Everything is a challenge with him. He can’t do anything the easy way. If he will just allow her to help him I think he could do his job.  He would have hire an assistant or I will have to stay on but it could work.”

“Justin, you can’t stay there.  Do you realize what a success you really are?  I listened night after night to people comment.  I got to see how they would stand there amazed at your talent.  You must work get back into your art.”

“I haven’t stopped.  That’s half the problem.  I end up painting when Brian is sleeping.  He knows I do it in the afternoon when he tends to nap a bit but he has no idea I get up in the middle of the night to do it.  I feel driven to work. It is my release.”

“Justin, you shouldn’t need a release.  Not like that.”

“Thanks, Jarod.  It really has gotten much better and now that you are in town and I know you are here for me I see the light at the end of the tunnel.”  Silence for a second. “I just wish Brian did.”

By the time Justin arrived back at the office, Brian had alienated most all the employees.  Justin looked at Daphne who shrugged and said, “He is all yours!”

“What did he do?”

“Some of it was actually good.  He wanted to know about accounts. He had me connect him with some of the original clients to let them know he was back.  But his mood started going downhill. And this may sound strange, but I think it was because he found out no one had complaints.  Everyone was happy.” Justin gave Daphne and kiss on the cheek. “Sorry you had to go through that and thank you for dealing with him.  I just needed some time and I know you can deal with him.”

Justin took a deep breath and walked into Brian’s office.

“Nice of you to drop by.  Must be nice to just be able to take of several hours in the middle of the day.  Some of us have been working.”

Justin just stood there letting him vent.  He could see the strain on Brian’s face, not only his temper but he was tired.  He hadn’t stayed this long before and, if he wasn’t mistaken, his hip was hurting him, and quite badly. As he walked  across the office he could see he was limping quite badly.

“Are you ready to go home?”

“Are you sure you don’t have a client to call and charm before we leave?”

So Daphne was right. He realized the company was thriving and he felt unneeded.

“Brian, it can’t be both ways.  You want me working but you don’t want me working?   You want the business to be a success but you don’t want it to succeed unless it is because of you?  What did you want me to do? Let it fall apart? Let all you have worked for collapse?”

There was a pause. “I’m ready.” Brian said quietly.

“You look like you are hurting today.”

“I misjudged a distance and slammed into the side of my desk.”

“I’m sorry that happened, Baby.”  Justin wrapped his arm around Brian’s waist and they walked out to the street.

Neither of them spoke the entire way home. They both needed time to their thoughts. As the taxi pulled to the curb Brian got out and offered his hand to Justin.  He knew it wasn’t a big gesture but to Justin, Brian was offering an olive branch. He took the offered hand and stepped into Brian’s arms. “Do you still love me?” Brian asked quietly.

“I will always love you.  I may not always understand you but you will always be there.  Even when you try to push me away. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”  

As they walked down the path to the house Justin noticed Brian’s limp was worse.  “Brian are you sure you are OK?”

“I have to admit, it really hurts!”

“Do we need to have it checked out?”

“ I think it is just a bad bruise.”

“I am sorry I made you stay at work longer than normal.  If I would have known you were hurt…”

“Justin, you need a life. I know I don’t always act like it but I know everything you have given up to keep my business going.  And I know I am an ass most of the time.”

“Enough. Let’s get you upstairs and maybe in a warm tub.  Then we can ice it later. We will see what it’s like in the morning.

Justin started the water while Brian undressed slowly.  Everytime he moved his leg he moaned. Justin offered his hand as balance as Brian stepped in. Brian, still holding his hand, looked into Justin’s eyes.  Justin could have sworn Brian could see him. “Join me?”

“I’ll be right back.” Justin undressed and joined Brian in the big, soaker tub. “Are you sure your hip can take the pressure?”

“I am the person who hurts others.  Not you.”

Brian pulled Justin up against him as he sat down. Justin’s ear was near Brian’s mouth. Justin relaxed again him. He loved this man but why did he have to make it so difficult.  

“Justin, I know I am being difficult.  I try but I can’t seem to stop myself.” He kissed Justin’s ear.  “Sunshine, I don’t know why you put up with me. You must love me or you would never put up with me. I just don’t know why you love me.  I make your life hell and now I can’t even run my business without you.”

Justin managed to turn around and face him.  He was glad the tub was huge. “Will you shut up before you say something that will spoil the mood. Just kiss me like you love me.” Brian pulled Justin to him and claimed those kissable lips.  He truly was the luckiest man in the world. He could not get enough of him. Justin had reached between them and was massaging both of their penises. Brian deepened the kiss. His tongue wanted to taste every inch of his mouth.  He stroked Justin’s back. One hand slipped down the crack of his ass. His fingers found what they were looking for. He slipped his finger in slowly and watched Justin’s face. The look was of bliss, not a care in the world. Justin deserved bliss.

He continued slowly stroking in and out.  When there was no tension left Brian added another finger. Justin’s look changed  to yearning. Brian continued stroking. Justin was having a hard time focusing on anything. When Brian added a third finger but kept the pace slow and steady, Justin nearly came.

Brian leaned forward, ‘Not yet!”

“God, Brian..”

“Not yet, you have to wait.”

“I can’t…...wait.

With his free hand, Brian took Justin’s hands one at a time and placed them on the side of the tub.  Brian now started driving into Justin with all the strength he could with his hand. He went faster and harder until he said, “Now, Justin, Now.” Both men came at the same moment.  They both felt waves run through them, over and over, until they collapsed against each other.

“Please, Justin, forgive this crazy, blind man.”

That was the first time Brian said the words. This blind man.  Justin wasn’t sure why but he felt like they had turned a corner to recovery.

Chapter 13

When Justin and Brian got out of the tub the night Brian was having trouble standing on his leg.  While in the bath the bruise had developed into a nasty purple that was now somewhat swollen.

“ I knew I should not have gotten in there with you.  It stressed it.”

“Justin, shut up.” Brian smiled at him.  “I would not change that bath in any way.”

After getting ice, Justin slid under the sheets next to Brian and both men slept comfortably.

Early in the morning Justin woke to some movement and a groan.  “Brian, you OK?

“I didn’t want to wake you but, shit, my leg hurts and I need to piss.”

“Come on,” Justin carefully climbed over Brian and helped him out of bed.

Once they walked to the bathroom, Justin could see the bruise.  “Well, you aren’t going to work today and you are going to the doctor.”

“Oh, come on, Justin.  I don’t want to go back to the doctor”.

“Well, someone with medical know how is going to see it. Do you know someone who can check it out?”

“Let’s go back to bed and think about it.”  He chuckled and he grabbed Justin’s ass.

“Even in pain, sex wins with you, but I am not playing until I know your pelvis is intact.”

“Party pooper.”

“I’ll call Dan in an hour and see if he knows anyone.”

“Then what should we do for and hour?”  Brian leered at Justin.

“If you think you can mess around without an orgasm more power to you but I think that strain might be worse on your body. You really are insatiable.  Not that I mind most of the time.” He snuggled into Brian and kissed him. “No, you are too tempting. I need to get away from you.”

Brian grabbed his hand and pulled him back. “Don’t leave me here alone!”  He pulled him in for one more long, intense kiss.

This time Justin ‘escaped’. “ I am going to get you some ice and ibuprofen.  Then I will call Dan and see if he knows someone.”

Justin brought the ice and pills to Brian and went back downstairs to talk to Dan. He called his neighbor.  “Hey, Dan, hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No, I have been awake for a while.”   

“Do you know any concierge doctors?”

“I know of a couple in the area.  What’s up?”

“Brian clipped the side of his desk yesterday and there is a lot of bruising and swelling.”

“And he doesn’t want to go in?”

“Exactly!” They both laughed.

“I will check around for you.” Dan said.

“You don’t have to.  I can call.”

“I know someone who owes me, I’ll call.”

“Thanks, I am making him stay home today.  So if you have any news just let me know.”

“And you let me know what she says when she’s seen him. “

Justin made plenty of toast, eggs,  and sausage and carried it upstairs with a pot of coffee.

Brian sat up in bed. “Sure you made enough for me?”

“It is for us.”  Rather than setting the tray in front of Brian, Justin began feeding them both.

“How do you make everything sexy.” Brian ran his hand along Justin’s thigh and then reached to his inner thigh.  “I know, I know, Not until I’ve been checked out.”

Justin’s phone beeped twice.  He pulled it out to look at the messages.  The first was from Dan. A Dr. would be here at 8:30.  The second was from Janna. She would be here at 9:15. Since he wasn’t going into work, Janna could work on some skills here at the house although he was functioning quite well here.  At least she could get his home office setup like it now was at Kinnetik. But until the Dr. gave the OK Brian was not coming downstairs. He felt partly to blame for Brian hurting himself although he knew it wasn’t his fault. How could someone so intelligent be so, pardon the pun, blind to his own insecurities.  Justin honestly felt that if Brian would think about it he would know he was being impulsive. He couldn’t imagine everything he was going through so he had to give him some slack. If he lost his sight ...he couldn’t even think about it. Other than Brian, painting was his life. He would just have to find another art form he guessed.

The doctor arrived 8:40 that morning.  Justin showed him upstairs and then excused himself to verify a few things with Daphne since he wasn’t sure when he would get into the office, if at all, that day. “So how is Brian this morning? I hope he didn’t give you crap all night.”

“No, he didn’t.  By the time we arrived home he was apologetic.  I just have to have some sympathy for him. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t see anymore and he seems to be trying at some level.  I think he will come around.”

“But, Justin, how long can you put up with his moods.  And now that Jarod is back…..I am glad for you because I know you have learned to lean on him, in a good way, but spending time with him may keep triggering events like yesterday.”

“I know. I just hope he didn’t re injure himself worse than a bruise. It is really hurting him this morning.  The doctor is with him now.” They finished their conversation and Justin straightened up Brian’s office while waiting for Janna to arrive.

The young doctor carefully examined Brian’s pelvis.  Since her patient was blind she could openly gaze at this gorgeous man.  She may have actually done a little more hand manipulation then was need just to touch him a little longer. “Well, Mr. Kinney, I think you just bruised it badly.  I will give you an anti-inflammatory you can take for a few days and keep icing it at least for today.”

“So  I don’t have to worry about it other than the pain, really?”

From the gleam in his eye she could see what he was thinking. “So I take it, one night is too long to expect you to go without sex.”

“Well considering our average has been about  four times a day for six years. One night is an eternity with someone as hot as Justin.

“I have to admit I am a little jealous.  You don’t happen to enjoy the company of a female from time to time do you?

Brian almost fall off the bed, he was laughing so hard. “In my day I was with a few women.  Justin has been with just one. Neither of us are compelled to try it again.”

“I guess that answered my question.”

“Since I have you here, I have a question.  Is it normal for someone who recently lost their sight to have trouble focusing?  I seem to be distracted so easily but a sound or smell. The other day I found myself rubbing two pieces of paper because they had a different texture. And if I know Justin is moving around forget.  I can focus on is him.”

“You told me that you aren’t on any other medications anymore from your accident, right”

“No when I got home I refused the painkillers and just finished out the antibiotic they sent home with me but that has a few weeks ago now.”

“Ok, I know you’ll probably recognize the name, Adderall.  It is usually associated with ADHD in kids but for many adults it really helps them focus.I think if you take one in the morning and one when you eat lunch it should help.  If you have something in the evening you could take one at 6:00 but don’t take it any later than that or you will never sleep.”

“Trust me, sleeping is underrated when there are so many other things you can do in bed.” Could that man do anything with being suggestive?

“I do need to warn you alcohol and Adderall don’t mix well.  Just another reason not to take it after lunch. There are a few possible side effects with Adderall but if you mix it with alcohol the effects get much worse. If you take it as directed it should help. If you take more than you should it is addictive and with alcohol it is dangerous.”  She smiled when she looked at him. “Now that I have pointed out all the bad stuff that could happen, it is taken by millions daily and it helps them function, living more fulfilling lives. I think I have some samples.” She dug in her bag. Here they are.”

“I forgot to ask.  Will it have any effect on me in here?” He pointed to the bed.

“The only effect is you may have difficulty sleeping. Nothing to worry about in the area  you are thinking of. Now, I will leave the samples for the Adderall and have a prescription delivered here later today.  I have enough of the anti inflammatories with me. Take all of them. There are enough for five days.”

“No, stay home today and if you can make it around tomorrow you can go back to work.  But maybe make it a short day. Next week you can go back full time and by then you will know if the medication is having the right effect. Don’t hesitate to call if you have any questions or need anything. Your boyfriend, Mr. Taylor is it, has my information. Am I right when I think I have seen him in the paper lately?

“Could be. Since I can’t see the paper I am not sure but a tour of his artwork just finished.”

“I knew I recognized him.  He is very talented.”

“Yes, he is.” Brian got a smile on his face, “In more ways than art alone.”

The doctor went downstairs.  She let Justin know that Brian would be fine.  She saw a look of relief cross his face. “Mr. Taylor, I just wanted to let you know I love your work.  Someday I would love to own one of them.”

Justin still never knew how to accept a compliment for something that came so naturally to him. “Thanks, I have always enjoyed painting,” was his standard reply.

“Oh, there will be a prescription delivered here in the next couple days.  Brian stated he was having trouble concentrating at work since his other senses have become heightened. I prescribed a low dose that I hope will just keep him on task.  I left a list of the side effects on the table next to the bed. The biggest thing is he should never drink when he has taken one of these. If he doesn’t take the medication later than lunchtime he should be fine to have a drink in the evening.  But he should never mix them.”

“Thanks, for coming, Dr.  We really appreciate it.”

“You have my number if you need anything.”  She hoped they would call her back frequently, not that she wanted them sick. Mr. Taylor was as beautiful as his partner just in different ways. As she left, she wished she could be a fly on their bedroom wall for just one night.

Janna was about to ring the bell at the gate when a woman carrying a medical bag came out. They nodded at each other as Janna entered the gate.  She was fascinated as she walked down a path that opened up into a garden. She had been told it was the house to the left in the back. She followed the bath through the garden and knocked on the door. “So how is the patient?”

“He will be fine, thankfully. He is supposed to stay in bed today.  I was hoping you could set his computer here to be voice activated. Then maybe you could look around and see what changes would be good for his safety and ease of use.  I am sure at some point Brian will get bored and make his presence known.

As Janna worked with adaptations Justin watched what she was doing.  “Janna, do you have any clients on adderall or Ritalin? Or have you in  the past?”

“Actually I have.”

“And is it helpful for people adjusting to life without sight?”

“I have seen it be very helpful.”

“I get the feeling that there is more to the story.” Justin didn’t like the fact she didn’t expand.

“Actually it is more like there is more than one story.  I have seen it work very well. It helps a person focus on a task.”

“But..” Justin asked?  

“I had one client. It started out working well for him but he started taking more than the Dr. suggested. He also had a bit of a drinking issue.  It wasn’t pretty. I am not even sure where he ended up. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“With Brian it is good I know all the possibilities.”

“This is a great place.”

“We like it. Would you like to see the upstairs and then we can stop in and see Brian. I am sure he is ready for company.  I hope you will get to see what the real Brian is like today.”

“I would love to.”

Justin led Janna upstairs.  The first stop was his studio/guest bedroom. Janna’s mouth dropped open as she walked in.  She was actually in one of Justin Taylors’ studios. There were paintings propped up everywhere. She walked over and started flipping through a stack.  

“Oh, I am so sorry.  Do you mind?”

“No, go ahead.  I normally don’t work this much at the house but since Brian’s accident it is just too much work to get to my studio so I make due.”

“These are absolutely beautiful.”  She ran across the one he had done of Brian when they had lived with the ladies.  “Oh, Justin!” She looked at it for some time. “This is so him. I can feel his energy from it.”

“It might be my favorite I have painted.”

“I can see why.  It obvious how much you love him.”

From behind her she heard Brian’s voice.  “I am a lucky man.” He had slipped in with no one noticing until he wrapped his arms around Justin.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”  

“Brian nuzzled Justin’s neck, “I was lonely there all alone.”

That’s why we came up to keep you company.  “Well, we’ve never had a three way with a female.  Um, I am not sure….”

Justin swatted Brian.  “Behave! We have a lady here.”

The smile Brian gave to Justin showed Janna a  whole different side to Brian. Yes, he was cocky. And, yes, he was a powerful, willful man. But he was also playful, caring , and loving.

“How about a game of truth or dare? I promise, Janna, I’ll be nice.  I am BORED!”

Janna looked at Justin and shrugged her shoulders.  What did she have to lose? She could gain a lot of insight into this man who had her baffled in so many ways. Plus how often did she get to spend an afternoon with a famous artist and the fact they were both so easy on the eyes, she couldn’t say no.

The first thing she noticed was that Brian and Justin never broke physical contact.  One of them always had either a hand on a knee or an arm around a shoulder. Sometimes it was just pinkies linked. But is was like a dance.  Instinctively they seemed to know the other’s next move. As one moved a leg the other was reaching for an arm. And considering Brian couldn’t see Justin it was totally on just ‘knowing’.

It wasn’t long before Brian reached down and pulled out a bottle of Jim Beam.  “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.”

“That might be true but it is only about noon here and we haven’t even had lunch. Janna, do you have plans? We would love to have you join us.” Brian asked politely.

“Actually, I don’t have anyone on my schedule this afternoon. Sounds like fun.”

“Justin is a great cook.  Maybe he will make something for us.”  Brian leaned against Justin in a movement that reminded Janna of a puppy rubbing against his boy’s leg. “Please.”

“I’ll go see what we have. Janna, you cook?”  

“I can hold my own.” She stood up.

“You stretch out and relax, Babe, and maybe later I’ll give you something ‘sweet’ for dessert.” Brian pulled Justin in for a sizzling kiss.  When Justin stood up Janna nearly stepped in to continue the kiss.

She followed Justin out the door and down the stairs.”You are right about one thing.  He is different here than he is at the office.”

“I hope we aren’t too much for you.  When we are home we just are us and part of us, no most of us has to do with sex.”

“I don’t think that is true at all.  Well, yes, it is obvious you two enjoy sex but you two are so much more.  I have never seen a couple so in sync with each other.”

“We are definitely meant to be together. Now, let’s see what we have in the fridge for lunch. I don’t really think I am going to be cooking anything.  How about a nice salad with a cheese tray and some crusty bread.”

“That sounds great.  What can I do?”

“You are taking Brian’s normal job. Why don’t you chop the vegetables.  I will take care of the lettuce and I’ll grab the cheese and bread. And just to give you a heads up.  We will be drinking heavily soon and you are welcome to drink as much as you like and staying as long as you like.  And knowing Brian, he wouldn’t care if you watch later.” Justin just laughed and Janna joined in.

Lunch was brought upstairs and eaten.  As the afternoon went on the Jim Beam flowed freely.

Justin laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “Janna, I just want you to know we don’t do this on a weekday very often. Actually, we haven’t done this at all for a long time.”  

Janna chuckled.  Was she really going to sit here and watch these men have sex?  She had to admit it was intriguing and right now she had had too much to drink to go home. And then it was too late to go home. Watching Brian and Justin was like watching an art film.  Their movements together were like a ballet. It was almost too beautiful to be real. Their hands glided over each other. Their play of tongues was like nothing she had seen before, and, god, their faces.  They shone with an inner glow that could only be a love beyond anything she could imagine. As their lips melded together and they had become one she realized she was crying. This was beyond sex. This was beyond being in love.  This was two people truly becoming one.

All three of them fall asleep and when Justin woke up Janna was gone. Brian woke up to one of his favorite activities. He felt Justin’s warm mouth sliding up and down on his cock. Justin had always had a natural ability and over the years he had gained so many skills. As he came for a second time that afternoon he yell, “I love you, so much!”

Justin slid up Brian’s body and kissed him.  “Now that was an interesting afternoon. Can’t say I had ever dreamt about having an audience like that but for some odd reason it seemed like she needed to know who we really were.”

“Are you hungry?  For something besides me!” Justin knew that look.  “I know there isn’t anything in the house and someone has worked me pretty hard today.  And besides that, tomorrow we need to go back to the real world.”

Chinese was delivered and eaten before the men curled up with an old movie and each other’s company.

After their morning shower they  dressed and Justin made them breakfast.  “Brian, here are the meds the doctor gave you yesterday.” Brian swallowed them. “Since we are coming home at lunch today we won’t take the noon dose with us.”

“And hopefully this will help my brain settle down a bit.”

The rest of the week went smoothly.  Janna arrived like nothing unusual had happened.  Brian seemed to be able to focus much better and was picking up on things much quicker and even came up with some great adaptations himself.  The art department was now creating 3D images of the ad campaigns. Brian could feel the sizes and shapes. He could tell them what colors to use but someone had to make the final color choices.  Brian trusted Justin a 100% but he knew Justin needed to go back to his own job. His art. He had to put his trust in someone. For a while he would still ask Justin to do a final edit but Gale would need to take over that soon.

And a new normal began.

Justin dropped Brian off in the morning and went on to his studio.  Janna would drop by a couple times a week and help with any adjustments Brian needed. Daphne would make sure Brian got lunch and then Justin would drop by around 4:00 to do any final revisions and approvals  that needed to be done.

After a month Brian really had done well and Justin couldn’t have be happier or prouder.  

Even the fact that Justin was working with Jarod everyday didn’t seem to be bothering Brian.  As long as Justin went home with Brian every night he didn’t seem to mind. Besides Brian being focus at work he was also really focused at night.  He was focused on Justin. He didn’t even to want to eat. When they got home he nearly drug Justin upstairs for a night in the sack. Now he wasn’t complaining.  The sex was amazing but he was tired and hungry.

Justin and Jarod were working at the studio everyday.  Justin was usually working on new paintings while Jarod was working as his business manager.  He was in charge of sales and shipping. Justin was thrilled to have Jarod around. After complaining every day about being tired and sometimes a bit sore, Justin finally said, “Do you have any suggestions?”

Jarod looked at Justin, wanting to make a joke, but knew it wasn’t the right time.  “Justin, have you asked him to stop taking his medication?

“I can’t do that.  It has helped him so much.”

“Maybe now that he has adjusted maybe he could work well without it.”

“I will talk to him about it this weekend.  He does seem to be a little more anxious lately, too.”

One night Brian was drinking a beer on the patio. Justin was half way out the door to join him when his phone rang.  He glanced at the screen. “I’ll be out in a few.” He said to Brian and went back in. Justin was glad to hear from his mom.  They hadn’t talked for a week. He was laughing when he noticed Brian listening in. “Be right out, Bri.” Justin noticed Brian was pacing now.  After saying goodbye to Jennifer Justin grabbed his beer and headed outside.

“Finally got done flirting with your boyfriend.  You and Jarod have a nice laugh on my account?” Brian threw his empty beer bottle at the wall where it shattered into a million pieces.

Justin just stood there, mouth gaping. “What are you talking about, Brian? I wasn’t talking to Jarod.”

“Sure, first you don’t want to go to bed when we get home.  Now I know why. You were waiting for his call.”

Justin went in the house and got his phone.  He hit the last call received. “Hi, Mom, Brian felt left out, can you say hi to him?” Justin laughed trying to get Jennifer to think this was a joke.

Brian spoke to Jennifer for a couple minutes and then hung up. He held the phone out and Justin grabbed it from him. “So, what do you have to say for yourself?”

“I’m sorry.  I’m really sorry!  It’s just that today I started thinking about the two of you today  and I couldn’t stop and then we got home and you didn’t want to have sex and then you got this call and I could hear you laughing and…” Brian was nearly frantic now. Justin could almost see Brian’s heart beating in his chest.

Justin wrapped his arms around Brian. “Baby, take a deep breath.”  Brian tried to settle himself. “Brian, you are burning up. Do you feel sick?”

“I’m not sick.  I don’t feel sick.  Why do you think I am sick?’

Justin looked at Brian.  Very softly he said, “Baby, when did you take your last Adderall today? Did you take one this afternoon?”

“ I don’t know.  I can’t remember.”

“It’s OK, Brian, I think your beer reacted to your medication.  Remember if you take a pill in the afternoon you can’t drink anything”

Brian wrapped an arm around Justin’s neck pulling him close.  Justin was having difficulty breathing for a minute but then Brian loosened his grip.  “I’m sorry, Sunshine, I didn’t mean to do...I didn’t mean….”

“I know, Baby.  Let’s get you upstairs and maybe we can take a nice cool shower. That will make you feel better.” Justin put an arm around his waist and walked upstairs with him.  He started the shower hoping to cool his body down a little. He helped take Brian’s shirt off and undid his fly. Justin noticed, not for the first time, how skinny Brian was getting.  Too much fucking and not enough eating..

They got in the shower and Brian stood there almost in a daze.

Justin started rubbing his back hoping it would calm him.  After a couple minutes Brian turned around and took Justin in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Sunshine. That should have never happened.  I will be more careful.”

“Maybe you don’t need it anymore.  You are doing so well, I bet you could focus much better now.  Will you think about trying some time without it? You aren’t eating either which isn’t good for you. Will you try, Bri?”

“OK, I will try.  I promise. I will see if I can focus without it.

Jarod did not like the sound of the scene when Justin told him about it. “Justin, he could have hit you with that bottle!  He is dangerous.”

Justin walked to Jarod and put a hand on his shoulder. “Jarod, it was a one time deal. He has really had so much going on and has done so well.  He is just adjusting yet.”

Jarod knew some of that was true but if he started threatening Justin  he was going to step in.

Jarod took Justin in his arms.  Justin didn’t realize how shook up he still was.  He clung to Jarod.

“:Thank you.  I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Jarod kissed the top of Justin’s head several time. And whispered, “I am always here for you,Justin.”

A couple weeks later, on Friday, Justin’s phone beeped with an incoming text. ‘You need to come now. He’s out of control.’  

Justin responded, ‘On my way.’

“No, you will be here as soon as you can get your ass over here.  You need to rein in your boyfriend or everyone is walking out.”

“On my way.”

Jarod looked at Justin.  “Trouble?” Justin nodded.  “Call me if you need me.” Jarod wanted to go along in the worst way but knew that could just fuel Brian’s outburst.

Justin arrived and saw the look on Daphne’s face. He wasn’t sure but he thought he actually saw a little fear there and that wasn’t something he expected.  She met him at the door.

“Justin, I almost called the police.  I was scared he was going to hurt himself or someone.  I think he had something to drink with lunch. He isn’t the normal Brian so don’t take chances.”

Justin took a deep breath and started walking to the door.   Before he was halfway across the lobby Brian’s office door flew open. “She called you, didn’t she, Justin.” Justin should have known Brian would realize he was here.

“Hey, Brian, let’s go in your office and you can tell me what’s going on.” Justin managed to turn Brian around and headed back into the office.

“I can tell you one thing that isn’t going on I want to be going on.” Brian aggressively pulled Justin toward him at the same time he grabbed his crotch with his other hand. “Surprised you didn’t already have it up for your boyfriend at work!”

“Brian, you’re hurting me.” The grip he had on his privates really was painful.  He tried taking a step back but couldn’t because of the arm around his waist.

“Oh, come on, Boy Wonder, you like it rough sometimes.” He crushed Justin’s mouth with his own.

For a split second Justin was a bit scared but then he turned that to anger. He bit Brian’s lip hard enough to get his attention and wrenched himself away. “You drank at lunch, didn’t you?” He knew now wasn’ t the time to ask why he was still taking the meds.  His goal was to get Brian stabilized and get him home.

After Justin had broke away Brian was rubbing his lip but his look was changing. He was going from defiance to a mix of bewilderment and petulance.

“Want to tell me what made you so upset this afternoon?” Justin asked in a calm voice, much calmer than he actually was. He could still feel where Brian’s fingers had been squeezing. There was going to be a serious conversation soon and if Brian didn’t want to have it he would talk to the doctor. He may call the doctor anyway.

Brian dropped onto the couch. “I was eating lunch in here. The noise out there was just getting louder and louder.  I am sure they were thinking, ‘The boss is eating alone again. Poor sucker.’ Well, I went out and asked them to quiet down.  Then I could hear them whispering about me.”

“Brian, where do you keep your Beam.  I know you have some here.” Justin was already opening up desk drawers. He located it in the back of a file drawer.

“Get off my back!  I am a grown ass man. If I want to have a small drink with my lunch I can have a drink.” He drove his fist into a pillow on the couch next to him.

Justin quietly took the whiskey out and put it in one of the drawers of his desk.

He walked over to the couch “Can I sit down here or are you going to hit me next.”

Justin saw Brian flinch when he said that.  Brian’s demeanor seemed to be returning to normal.  His breathing was slowing down and his face was less flushed.  He handed him a bottle of water that was sitting there. “Why don’t you take a drink?  It might help you cool down.”

Brian took a long drink and then screwed the lid back on.

“How about we call it a day and go home?” Justin suggested.

Brian nodded.

“I am going to stop by Gale’s desk a minute.  Why don’t you get your stuff together and I will be right back.”

Justin walked into the office 10 minutes later to a totally different man. There was no defiance left in him now.  “Did anyone quit?”

“There were some threats but no one walked out. Let’s go home and we can talk about it.” Justin took Brian’s hand and tucked it into the crook of his own.  He was glad Brian had finally started using the white cane after bruising his hip so badly. At least he had more of a sense of what was ahead of him. At this point Justin wished he knew what was ahead of him, when it came to Brian. “You up to walking home?”

Brian nodded and slipped his arm around Justin’s waist.  Justin tensed reflexively. Brian took his elbow again and softly said, “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“I’ll live”

“That’s not what I asked.” Brian’s tone got edgy again.

“This is not the place to have this conversation, Brian.”

“I say it is.” Brian retorted.

“Then have it by yourself.” Justin walked away leaving Brian stand there. The moment he did it he knew he shouldn’t have. He was only a few yards away when Brian called to him. His voice was filled with what could only be called terror.

“Justin, Justin, I’m sorry, Justin, where are you? Please.”

Justin rushed back to him.  “I’m here, Baby. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Brian clung to him, trembling like a child after being separated from their parent. Justin enfolded Brian’s long lanky body in his arms.  He again noticed how much weight Brian had lost.

“It’s alright.  I’m here. Let’s get home.” With an arm wrapped around Brian’s waist he guided him the rest of the way back to their house.

Once in the house Brian was still trembling and turned into Justin for comfort.  

“I am sorry, Brian.  I should have never left you standing there. That was totally uncalled for no matter how mad you made me.” Justin stroked his hair. He looked up into those fear filled eyes and kissed him. A jolt ran through both of them.

Brian’s fear was transformed into a need that had to be quenched. Justin knew they should be talking and straightening out the situation of the day but right now none of that mattered.  He had been a long time since he felt their souls connect. Sure, they had lots of sex but it had been a long time since they had really made love.

They started toward the stairs.  The shirts came off and were tossed to the side.  They both seemed to need the same thing. Just to be in physical contact.  To have flesh on flesh, to feel heartbeat to heartbeat. Brian’s mouth never had trouble finding Justin’s. His tongue darted in and out as Justin unbuckled Brian’s belt and opened his fly. The trousers hit the floor. Justin made sure they were out of Brian’s way so he didn’t trip over them.Then it was Brian’s turn to undo Justin’s pants and send them to the floor. He reached over and cupped Justin’s balls and cock gently.  He dropped to his knees and showered kisses all over them.

“I didn’t hurt you earlier, did I?”  Justin looked down and could see bruise marks left by Brian’s earlier assault.  His first instinct was to lie to him but he told the truth.

“There is a little bruising but I will be fine.” Justin felt something wet on his cock as Brian continued to gentle kiss and massage it.  That’s when he realized Brian was crying.

Brian kept mumbling, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” After regaining a little of his composure he took Justin’s cock into his mouth.  After he had taken it all in he pressed his tongue to the underside of it and adding pressure slowly pulled back, as he repeated this

Justin had to grab onto the stair railing to stop him from falling. What was Brian doing to him? “Brian, I am not going to hold out much….”

As Brian repeated this motion once more Justin could not control himself. The eruption came from his very toes.  If he hadn’t had the railing to hold onto he was sure he would have collapsed. He had barely finished his climax when Brian stood and captured Justin’s mouth again.  Justin tasted himself on Brian’s lips as well as the tears Brian had shed. Justin pulled Brian even closer bruising their lips. Brian’s need was obvious as they were pressed tightly together.  Justin started to drop down but Brian wouldn’t let him. “Upstairs,” he said in a hoarse voice filled with lust and longing. They stumbled up the stairs barely able to separate that long. They landed on the bed at the same time and Justin straddled Brian.  His mouth was everywhere at once. He fluttered kisses over his eyes, those beautiful, sightless eyes. He then continued the trail lower. As his tongue traced circles around his belly button, Brian moaned. Justin finally took Brian in his mouth. He licked and suckled until Brian was thrashing. Justin managed to get his hand under Brian’s ass and slowly as he took Brian’s beautiful cock in and out of his mouth he worked his fingers in and out of his ass. Brian let out a moan as he exploded in Justin’s mouth.

By this time Justin was fully erect again.  He took Brian’s hand and guided it down to his dick.  When Brian felt his need he turned over and offered himself to Justin.  Justin inserted his finger again and moved it around trying to loosen him up.  He then inserted two fingers and started spreading them as far as he could going in and out.  He finally added a third which made Brian jump a bit. It was less than once a month Brian was on the bottom so Justin was always careful.

“God, Justin, NOW!”

Justin entered carefully but before he knew what was happening Brian was shoving backward with all his might.  He let out a cry of pain. Justin met him stroke for stroke and soon, as if on cue, both men came for a second time. The men slept soundly and satisfied.

Justin woke up ahead of Brian and quietly slipped out of the room and downstairs.  He had such mixed feelings about yesterday. He had already responded to a text from Daphne this morning who was just checking everything went ok last night.  He pulled out the ingredients for peach French toast, one of Brian’s favorites. He combined the ingredients and put it in the oven to bake. He then started sausage in a pan and got eggs out.  He made cup of coffee and then prepared a carafe for later. He sat on the patio sipping his coffee trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation. It was obvious Brian had a problem starting.  He wasn’t sure if it was an addiction to the meds or more likely, it was his going to alcohol when he was stressed out. The side effects with alcohol were clearly listed but it was possible he had started taking more than he was supposed to. He really had taken the company back by store which Justin was thrilled about.

Justin thought he heard something. Then he heard his name being called. “Coming.” He got up and went back in.  Wrapping his arms around Brian and feeling Brian’s close around him he just absorbed the heat and strength he felt in him.  “Good Morning.” He met Brian’s lips for a quick kiss. “Can I just say, last night was beyond….” their lips met again and this time Justin was sure the earth moved beneath his feet.   “Are you hungry? I made your favorite. Peach French toast. I have some sausages made and …”

Brian reached between Justin’s legs and very gently cradled him. “I can think of a sausage I would like.”

Justin rolled his eyes but had to laugh at this sophomoric comment.  “Sit down and drink some coffee while I make the eggs.” He poured Brian a cup of coffee, went to the stove, and made eggs. Taking the French Toast out of the oven he made 2 plates of food and brought them to the table.  They both started eating but it wasn’t long before Brian was just playing with it. “Is there something wrong with the food?”

“No, It’s good I’m just not hungry.”

Justin thought this might be his entry point to the medication conversation.”But you should be hungry.  You should be starving after our workout last night. I’m worried about you, Baby.” He reached over and took Brian’s hand. “I worry you aren’t eating and I am worried about you drinking when you take the meds. You can be out of control and no one knows what to do. You really scared me yesterday. And, again, I am so sorry I left you standing there on the street. I will never do that to you again.  I promise but I didn’t know what else to do.”

Brian didn’t say anything. He squeezed Justin’s hand, picked up his fork, and ate more of his breakfast. He knew, deep down, that what Justin said was true but, if he was honest, he wasn't ready to give up the pills.  He needed them to survive at work. There were so many things he had to do now that Justin was back at his own job. He was sure he couldn’t get it all done by himself. He was training an assistant but after Friday, Brian was afraid he may have permanently scared him off. If everything he remembered was true he wouldn’t blame the guy.

Brian had been quiet for so long, Justin squeezed his hand. “You alright?” He brought Brian’s hand up to his lips. Brian scooted his chair back and Justin came over and straddled his lap. He oh so gently touched his lips to Brian’s. Brian’s  response was a shiver down his spine. For some time they sat there in each other’s. Lips just barely touching while their tongues touched and tasted each other. Justin finally separated just a bit. “I think we could use a shower.” And hand in hand they walked upstairs.

They spent a leisurely day out in the garden.  It was the best day Justin could remember in months.  They talked and laughed. They held hands and said nothing. They just enjoyed being together.

Sunday they ran some errands and went to a theater that played classic movies.  They shared popcorn and watched James Dean. At one point Brian whispered, “I can picture this. Every scene.” He pulled Justin close as they continued watching to the end.

Although Jarod was working with Justin daily he hadn’t been by the house since his return.  Today he had to stop by to talk to Dan about something. That was a perfect time to ask Dan if he had noticed anything different with Brian lately.

As the men drank a beer on the patio Jarod brought up his concerns. “Dan, you spend time with Brian and Justin, don’t you?”

“I haven’t recently.  Sure we have dinner from time to time but I have been really busy and so have they.  They seem to be going to bed very early many nights but then some nights I swear I see Brian walking around on the patio in the middle of the night. I have a couple clients in other countries so I sometimes get up at weird times to make calls.  You act like you know something.”

Jarod hesitated, “I don’t want to butt in but I have been worried about Justin.  He comes to work exhausted many mornings because all Brian wants to do is go to bed, and you know what that means with Brian. Brian has also been violent a few times, not at Justin really but Justin has been too near for comfort.  And Friday he had to leave work and help at Kinnetik because of his behavior again. He hasn’t contacted me this weekend so I am assuming everything is alright.”

“I have seen Brian do some eratic things recently but I didn’t know it was that bad. Does Justin know what’s causing it.”

“He was put on Adderall by a doctor when  he hurt his hip. Justin says the outbursts are when he adds alcohol but I think he is abusing the med, too.”

Dan looked a bit worried.  “Leave it to Justin to try to deal with his hero himself. I had no idea that was all going on.”

“I am just giving you fair warning. If Brian fucks with Justin, he is going to regret it.

Just as Jarod was getting up to leave, both Dan and Jarod heard Brian and Justin returning. Dan laid a hand on Jarod’s shoulder. “Just don’t start something.”

Justin stopped in his tracks when he saw Jarod standing with Dan.  Did he ignore Jarod so Brian didn’t even realize he was there? No. Jarod was his best friend. He wasn’t going to start playing those kind of games. “Hey, Dan, Jarod!” Greetings were made to each other.  Brian had said hello to Jarod but he had also stiffened when he heard the name.

“Why don’t you guys join us for a drink.  I am thinking about throwing some burgers on the grill would you like to join us?” Dan invited.

Justin was about to make up an excuse when Brian said, “Sounds good to me. Is that alright with you, Justin?

“Sounds good to me.”  His eyes met Jarod’s in a silent plea to not bring anything up.

“Great, can I get you guys something to drink?”

Justin said he would take a beer but Brian asked, “Do you have a soda or just some water?”

“Sure, I’ll be right back.”

Justin helped Brian to his chair while Jarod took the one across from him.  Dan came out with drinks for everyone. He threw burgers on the grill and the conversation was mostly about the adventures of the art tour and about Jarod’s long lost father.  Brian was quiet but he didn’t have a blow up or even any snide remarks at anything that was said. Justin had to give him props for staying there.

As the impromptu party started wrapping up Jarod was heading home.  Justin said, without thinking about it, “See you tomorrow, Jarod.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Brian tense a bit but Brian didn’t utter a word.

As they walked back to their house, Justin kissed Brian’s jawline. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being nice to my friend.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be nice to your friends?”

“Brian, you know what I mean.  I know he isn’t your favorite person but I hope you can tell there is nothing between us but friendship.”

Brian didn’t respond but put his arm around Justin’s waist.

The next couple weeks there was a change in Brian.  Justin hoped they were for the good. He seemed to be a bit less jittery and he was actually sleeping much better and had actually stopped wanting sex.  He hoped once the meds were out of his system things would go back to normal.

The other thing he noticed was not a positive.  Brian’s mood overall was darker. Sometimes he could see Brian seithing just under the surface. Actually, most of the time Brian looked ready to explode.  Justin was walking on eggshells all the time. Each day when he would arrive at the office at 4:00 he would look at Daphne who would give him a thumbs up or thumbs down. Some days she would just shrug. As time went on there were a lot more thumbs down than thumbs up.   

There was another text from Daphne on another Friday.  Brian had been working on a new campaign and it had gone south.  That was one client he would never win after the blow up he had in front of them.  Jarod had insisted on coming with Justin but said he would wait outside. Justin had also texted Dan to see if he could come by.  

When he arrived he went into Brian’s office. Jarod never took his eyes off Justin as he walked through the lobby and into the lion’s den.

“Let me guess, your girlfriend told you I needed you.  Your girlfriend told you I fucked up. Your girlfriend thinks I’m crazy.  Well, guess what? People lose accounts every day. It’s my business how and what I want to say to a client or should I say non client and it’s my business and I can run it the way I want to run it. So if all you want to do is tell me to quit drinking or quit taking pills save your breath.  It’s my life.

Dan walked in the door without Brian noticing.  

“Brian, it’s our life you are ruining.  Remember it is us and we, not I and my.”

“Maybe I am done with us and we.  Maybe I just need to me again.”

“Brian, you don’t mean that.” Justin started walking toward Brian.

“Stop right there.  Just stop where you are. You forgot whose business this is.  Thanks for keeping it going but now I’m back and I can take care of myself. Why don’t you just move on.  Live your life. I can live mine.”

“But, Brian…..”

“Just go, Justin.  Just once let me sink or swim on my own.  I can clean up after myself.”

Justin didn’t know where this came from. What would Brian do without him? What would he do without Brian.

Brian finally realized someone else was in the room.  “Is that you, Jarod? Did you come along with Justin to protect him from the big, bad wolf?”

“Brian, it’s me.  Jarod is not here. Are you sure you know what you’re saying?  You really want Justin to leave?”

“I said it didn’t I”

“Brian…..”

“Justin, just get out.”

Dan saw Justin straighten his spine. He walked out the door and didn’t turn around.  

Jarod was waiting in the lobby. He hadn’t heard what went on but from the look on Justin’s face Brian had just beat the shit out of him.  It just happened to be from the inside out. He put his arm around Justin and led him out of the office.

Chapter 14

Jarod waved  down a cab and folded Justin into it.  As Jarod got in he gave the cabby his address. He then collected Justin in his arms, while he first sat their motionless and then slowly  broke into a million pieces. He sobbed like someone whose heart was broken and who had lost his soul, because he had.

Brian stood in his office after he had thrown Justin out.  Everyone had to keep butting into his business. Literally.  His business was doing well. He was in control of it again. He didn’t need Justin in the office.  His staff was well trained and he trusted them, most of the time. Justin had a business of his own and he didn’t have to come around here and tell him how to run his. What made him an expert on how to manage his clients?

As these thoughts ran through his head he moved to his desk and took out his bottle of pills and washed several down with the Jim Beam he had in his drawer.  That is when he sensed movement in the office. Shit, he forgot Dan was there. How did he forget that?

Dan grabbed the bottle of pills out of his hand.  “What the hell do you think you are doing?” Dan confronted Brian.  “Do you have any idea what you just did?

“Of course, I do.  He keeps meddling in my business when he has a business of his own to run.  I don’t need his help anymore.”

“OK, let’s say that’s true here at the office.  What about at home? I take it you are comfortable cooking for yourself.  How about shopping? Getting back and forth to work?” As Dan talked Brian deflated.  Soon his head was laying on his desk. At first Dan thought he was crying. Then he realized he had passed out.  He checked his pulse. It was a bit erratic but it was strong. After touching base with the doctor who prescribed the meds Dan felt secure that right now Brian wasn’t in danger but if this continued, uncontrolled he could kill himself.

Daphne stuck her head in the office looking a little shell shocked.  “Is it as bad as it looked?”

“It may be worse.  I really don’t know what happened.  He just threw Justin out of the office and basically out of his life.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Daphne replied.  “When he knows he is on a downward slide or thinks he is holding someone back he removes them from his life.  He has done it before.”

“But I bet before he could function on his own?”

“Ya, does he know he screwed himself?”

“Considering the pills and booze he took I think he has a pretty good idea.  I’ll wake him up and take him home in a little bit. He and I will have a conversation tomorrow. Not sure what I am going to say but obviously I am not going to let him crash but if he keeps it up I won’t be there to rescue him.”

“I hope I didn’t overstep my bounds but I called Ted and Cynthia. They have a right to know what is going on. Ted is going to work out his schedule and come down for a month or so.”

“I think you needed to do that, Daph.  I know you only have his best interest in mind.  Why don’t you head out. I will wake sleeping beauty and you don’t need to be here in case he gets ugly.” Dan gave Daphne a little squeeze and she stepped out to a waiting Gale.

Dan walked over to Brian and shook his shoulder while calling his name. “Brian, it’s time to wake up.  Time to go home.”

In his confused state he said, “Where’s Justin?” After a pause he answered himself, “That’s right, I threw him out. Best thing for him.”

Dan noticed Brian was thinking only about Justin.  He also knew it didn’t pay to talk to Brian now about plans.  He probably wouldn’t remember the conversation. “Come on, Buddy, let me get you home and then we can figure out what to do.”

Dan was helping Brian stand when Brian just dropped back in his chair. “What did I do?  I can’t live without him. What did I do?” He dropped his head on his desk and sobbed.

Tomorrow Dan would tell him exactly what he did.  He was sure he would need a couple drinks to fortify himself tonight.  Brian needed tough love and he would not stand around and watch him sink. The dilemma he had was whether Brian could stay alone tonight. He decided Brian would have to fend for one night.  He would be close by. And face it, Brian was going to take the drugs whether he was in the house or not. He couldn’t stop, especially in his current state of mind.

Jarod guided Justin into his apartment. He settled him on the couch and poured him a strong drink. Then for lack of a better thing to do he sat next to him and collected him close. Words weren’t necessary right now.  Justin would talk when he was ready.

The next morning the two men still sat on the couch. Justin had finally fallen asleep around 3:00 a.m. without saying a word. Jarod managed to get him laying down with Justin’s head in his lap. He dozed a bit but most of the time he looked at his beautiful, broken baby. He ran his fingers through that spun gold hair.  All he wanted to do was make it better for Justin, no matter what that took.

Jarod had to  use the bathroom.  He slowly slid out and put a pillow under Justin’s head. After using the bathroom he came back and found Justin sitting up.

“Morning,” Justin rubbed his eyes. “Thanks.”

“There is nothing to thank me for.”

“Yes, there is. Thanks for just letting me be here.  No questions.”

“I figured you just needed to be.  You will tell me what you need to tell me”  Jarod moved to Justin feeling he could use some physical contact.  He wrapped his arms around him. “Whenever you want to talk you know I am here.”

Brian woke up in what felt like his bed.  He reached over and found his talking alarm clock so he knew he was right.  He had no idea how he had gotten here. The only thing he really knew was that his heart was no longer here and there was an empty shell of one left in his chest.  He wondered where Sunshine was and then he wished he hadn’t thought about it. He was sure he went to Jarod’s. That’s what he wanted wasn’t it? He screwed up and now he was going to pay the consequences.  He knew he should not drink with those pills. He knew it. The pills weren’t a problem it was the booze. He was like his father that way. God, he had a headache. He reached for his pills. He would just take a couple. His clock told him it was a little after 8:00 in the morning.  He needed coffee. He could manage that, as long as they had pods in the house.

.Justin leaned into Jarod.“I need to feel something. I just need to feel anything. I’m sorry, but I need you.  No promises. I just need to fuck. I just need to know I’m not dead inside.” He pulled Jarod’s head to him and, a little tentative at first, he was soon deepening his intent.  He put more pressure on Jarod’s lips and Jarod responded by taking control.

Jarod didn’t rush anything.  He pulled his own shirt off and then pulled off Justin’s.  His mouth traced Justin’s neck and down to his collarbone and traced it with his tongue. He repeated it on the other side. He lowered his head to Justin’s nipple and ran his tongue around until Justin moaned.  He switched sides and repeated it. Justin’s hands were up and down Jarod’s back and arms. Jarod started pulling away and Justin clung to him. “Baby,” he extended his hand. Justin took it and Jarod led them to the bedroom. He unbuckled Justin’s pants and slid them down.  He then repeated it for himself. Very gently Jarod lay Justin down and joined him. Justin was so beautiful. He wanted him so badly but he was not rushing anything. His hand slid down Justin’s chest and abdomen and then it dipped lower. He took Justin’ erection in his hand and slowly stroked it.  His mouth followed his hand and took Justin in his mouth. He licked and gently sucked until he was tasting Justin’s salty precum.

“What do you want, Baby?  What do you need? Do you want my mouth? Do you need to fuck me?’

“Fuck me! Now!  Don’t be gentle just fuck me. You can’t really hurt me. I need to feel it.”

As Brian came down the stairs he smelled coffee.  His heart did a little jump. Justin had defied him before maybe he came back anyway.  “Sunshine?” No one responded. Just then he felt a pain in his chest. It wasn’t anything physical.  It was like his soul had left him, or at least part of it.

“No, Jarod, I need all of you, NOW!”  Justin pushed back as Jarod slammed into him.  Justin yelled in what Jarod had to believe was pain but he seemed to want, to need more.

Jarod continued to pound Justin as he knew he had to be hurting him.  Then Justin let out another cry but this one was one of release. Jarod joined him as Justin’s sphincter tightened around him.  Jarod lay draped over Justin for a few more seconds and then flipped to his back on the bed, taking Justin with him. He reached to take Justin’s hand but Justin pulled it away. He noticed Justin’s tear streaked cheeks.

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”

“No, you did just what I asked you to.  Thank you.” Justin’s demiener was still flat.  Jarod was afraid it would take a bit to get Justin back. He just hoped he was there when it happened.

“Dan?  Is that you?”

Dan almost made one of his cynical remarks and decided better.  “Ya, it’s me. I see you found the coffee. I stopped in about an hour ago and decided you would need some when you woke up.”

“Thanks. I am guessing I owe you for getting me home, too?”

“Who else would take care of a jackass like you?”

“Can you let me finish my first cup of coffee before you tell me everything I already know?” He brought the cup up to his lips again.

Dan poured a cup for himself and sat across from Brian. “What do you remember about yesterday?”

“I had a potential client who was a real diva.  After the 4th totally ludicrous idea I just told them we weren’t the agency for them.” There was a pause. “OK, I may have mentioned that no reputable agency would  use their crazy ideas. Well, they left and, yes, there was some fairly loud comments back and forth.” Brian took another swallow of the hot liquid. He winced partly because it was hot but mostly because of what happened later. “I decided I needed a drink after that. The rest of the day is kind of fuzzy. I know, I can’t drink on these pills.”

“You take half the fun out of dressing you down when you do it to yourself. You aren’t only drinking with those pills but you are taking far more than you are supposed to.  Two a day is all you should use most days. Three at the outside. Brian, I have been doing some checking and if I am calculating correctly you are pushing ten times the prescribed amount.”

“How do you know that?”  Dan wasn’t sure if Brian was embarrassed or pissed.

“Brian, by now you know I have connections.  Someone tapped into a database at several pharmacies.  Love the stories...poor blind guy dropped his pills, blind guy mugged and pills stolen. Yes, I saw several at several pharmacies.  I first couldn’t figure out how you were doing until I realized you use a lot of messenger services. I am guessing you have one of them working for you.  Maybe even getting illegals off the street for you.”

“You have no right to fuck with my life. Your high powered friends pulling strings.  That’s illegal.”

“Oh, that is priceless! You worried about me doing something illegal.” That quieted Brian.

“Brian, I see it two ways.  You clean yourself up. No more drugs, I don’t care if they are from a doctor. I will help you.”

“Or?”

“You are on your own.  You hire help an see what happens to your life.”

“Number 2.  I need the pills to run my company.  I have to be able to focus. Dan, you don’t know what it is like.  Do you hear them?”

“Hear what? The birds.”

When Dan thought about it he could hear birds somewhere. “Ya, I hear them.”

“But do you hear them chatting to each other.  Do you hear the rustling of the trees? I can’t focus when all I hear is birds or maybe it is a smell.  All I can think about is another cup of coffee.”

“Brian, I am not trying to minimize your situation but, Brian, you cannot go on like this.”

“Dan, I will cut back.  I won’t drink, but I can’t give it up.”

“I’m sorry, Brian, I will help you out until you hire someone but I can’t watch you kill yourself.”

With that Dan left Brian to think.

Jarod woke up a couple hours later to an empty bed.  He pulled on some shorts and then went out to the living room.  He found Justin standing by the window with a cup of coffee in his hand.  Jarod wanted to slip his arms around him but knew he needed permission right now.  He loved Justin but he knew Justin wasn’t ready for anything real. His emotions were still wrapped up with Brian but he would wait for him as long as it took.  

“Good Morning, again.” Jarod said as he walked up to Justin.

“Morning.”  

“I will make breakfast.  You have to be hungry.”

“I don’t think I could eat anything.”

“Justin, you have to eat. I will make some eggs and toast.” Jarod started walking away but Justin grabbed his hand and pulled Jarod back. Justin turned into him and again claimed Jarod’s lips.  

“I can’t think and the only time I don’t think is when my body feels and my body feels,” He stripping off Jarod’s shorts in one swift motion.  Justin dropped to his knees and enclose his mouth around Jarod. Jarod remembered the first time Justin had done this to him. The first time anyone had done this to him.  Jarod had learned a few things as he completed the tour without Justin. He was going to show him what he learned. He didn’t have the experience Justin had but he could bring him pleasure.  Hopefully, enough pleasure for him to begin healing. Jarod spent the entire day with Justin in bed. He made Justin scream in pleasure as he brought him to orgasm after orgasm until they both just lay on the bed. They fell asleep mid afternoon and slept until 7:00.  Jarod was hungry and he knew Justin needed to eat. Jarod called for a pizza but before it arrived Justin was already touching and stroking him.

“Justin, Baby, we both need a break’

“I can’t take a break.  I need to do something. I can’t let my body just be. But it doesn’t matter what I do.  Or how beautiful you make me feel, I am dead inside. My heart and soul aren’t with me. They didn’t belong to me so they are dying with Brian.” Jarod noticed Justin was gone again.  He just let him have some space.

The pizza arrived and  as they ate Justin seemed to relax a bit.  “Justin, you know I am here for you, right?”

“You have been great, Jarod.  I am sorry I ….”

“I understand, well I don’t, but I know what your relationship was like and I know you aren’t going to be over him tomorrow.  Just know, I am here for anything you need.”

Brian tried to think of who he could call.  He didn’t have that many friends in the city.  He was going to have to hire someone. The only name he could think of was Janna.  He called her Saturday afternoon. “Janna, could you come over this afternoon, how about dinner.  I can order Chinese.”

Janna noticed Brian’s use of I instead of we.  Something had happened and if those men had fallen out Janna wasn’t sure how either of them would survive.  They were one person in two bodies, two people with one soul, Neither of them would survive without the other.

Janna arrived at 6:00 pm as scheduled. Brian had Chinese arrive at the same time she did.  

As they ate, Brian gave her the basic rundown.  He told her there was a fight and that Justin would not be coming back.  He touched on the pills and alcohol and that he had made the mistake of taking both. He offered her a live in position,  double her current pay, until he could live on his own.

“Can you give me a couple days to think about it?  I will tell you Monday when I get to your office.”

“If it is the money I can give you more.” For a minute Brian’s face was no longer all business. “Janna, I don’t know who else to turn to. I don’t know what to do.”

“Monday, I will see if I can get a leave of absence. Are you OK for the rest of the weekend?”

“I will never be OK again, but will I survive the weekend? Ya.  See you Monday.”

As much as Jarod wanted to make love to Justin all the time he knew, even if Justin didn’t see it, that was not what he needed.  He had to get refocused and begin a life of his own. Jarod hoped that would be with him but if it wasn’t he would cope as long as Justin ended up happy.

Justin knew he had died the day Brian threw him out but he still was worried for him.  He contacted Ted and found out Daphne was already on top of that.

A couple weeks later he knew he had to give Lindsey a call.  Next week Brian was supposed to have Gus but Gus didn’t need to see his dad like this.  

“Hey, Linds,”

“Justin, how are you?You have been gone everytime we talk to Brian lately.  Gus is so excited about coming to New York City next week and I have to admit Mel and I are thrilled.  We are going to have out first child free vacation in years. J.R. is going to spend time with Ben and Michael. So it works for you and Brian to have Gus for the week, right?

“There is a little issue. With Brian.”

“Don’t worry, Gus understands Brian can’t see anymore.  He has grown up so much lately.”

“Too bad Brian hasn’t.”

“What are you talking about, Justin?”

“Brian, was given some meds to help him adjust to his blindness but he has started abusing them, Linds.”

“Oh, Justin,  is he getting help?”  

“I really don’t know.  He kicked me out. I am staying with my friend but we would love to have Gus for the week.  I will try to manage some time for them together but Gus’s safety is most important and Gus’s image of his dad needs to stay untarnished.”

“Thank you, Sunshine.  I know Gus will love spending time with you,” she hesitated, “And your friend but Gus doesn’t need to see you with someone else.”

“Linds, I know you trust me and I promise Jarod and I will not do anything that will mess with Gus’s impressions. I will call Bri...”

“Thanks, Justin, but I will call Brian.  And I will tell him he no longer has visitation rights until he gets his shit back together.”

“Thanks, Lindsey.”

It was inevitable they would run into each other.  It had been a couple weeks and Justin needed to stop by the house and  get at least some of his things and Jarod insisted on coming along. It made sense.  He could pick up twice as much stuff. He figured a Monday afternoon would be as good as any other time.  

They arrived and the house was empty. Justin just grabbed a couple garbage bags and they headed upstairs.  Justin pointed Jarod to some drawers. He started emptying drawers as Justin went into the bathroom to get other personal items.  Both Jarod and Justin heard the voices downstairs. “Oh, shit, Brian’s home early.” Justin said. “And it sounds like Janna is with him.”Brian was in a rage.  He heard Gus’ name. “Lindsey must have called him.”

“We may as well face the music and get the hell out of here.” Jarod said. He leaned over and gave Justin a quick kiss and squeeze as the headed to the steps.

Justin spoke up, “Sorry, Brian, I wanted to be out of your way before you got home.  Just grabbing my clothes.”

“Your clothes.  Taking that like you’re taking my son.  Couldn’t keep your mouth shut. Do you really think I would do anything to harm Gus.  I love Sunny Boy. I would never do anything to him.”

“Brian I know you would never harm him when you were thinking clearly but, Brian, you aren’t thinking like yourself.”

“You don’t know who I am. Not anymore.”

“That’s the problem, Brian, you aren’t who you used to be.  I love Gus too much for him to see you like this.”

“Janna, are you….staying here?”

“Yes, I am going to stay here until Brian can live by himself”

“I’m glad, I know he is in good care, then. Thanks, Janna.” Justin walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Take care of him, but leave before he kills you, too.

Janna nodded but at the same time Brian came across the room at Justin. Jarod stepped in Brian’s path.  Brian sensed him and knew it had to be Jarod. He swung his fist and caught Jarod with a glancing blow on the chin.  Jarod didn’t hesitate. He pulled back and popped Justin hard enough to send him to the floor where he hit his head on the bottom of the step.

“Brian, Oh God, Brian! Are you alright?”  

Justin kneeled next to Brian. “Oh, Baby.” Justin reached around and felt blood on the back of Brian’s head.  “Oh, God!” Brian moaned.

Though Janna had never met Jarod she looked at him and said, “Jarod, I presume.” He nodded. “I think it is best if you take Justin where ever he is staying now, before Brian wakes  up. I will make sure he gets checked out but he seems to becoming out of it already.”

Jarod nodded and went to where Justin was at Brian’s side.  “Justin, we need to go. Janna has this. It will be harder on him if we stay.” Jarod knew he had to make this about Brian or Justin wouldn’t leave.

Justin stood and walked toward the door. “Janna, please, call me when you know something and I will contact you to set up a visit when Gus is here.”

Jarod grabbed both bags they had collected and they both walked out the door. Jarod, after seeing Justin’s face, knew it would be a long time before Justin was able to make any life choices as long as he had contact with Brian and it was obvious Justin wasn’t ready to give him up.

Janna hoped this job was worth it.  Her first day on the job, Brian had a major meltdown at work and then another at home.  She should have asked for more.money.

Brian had only been out about a minute when he started coming to. Janna grabbed a towel and pressed it on Brian’s head.  It was a very small cut and had already nearly quit bleeding. “‘Brian, hey Brian, do you know who I am?”

“Janna, what happened? Justin, is Justin still here? I screwed up again!  What is wrong with me?

“Are you really asking me or was that a rhetorical question?”

Brian nodded.  “My first answer is you are an addict.  And my second is, you are human.”

“Janna, I don’t think I am ready to change that first one yet.  But I am going to really try to take the dosage they way I am supposed to and I really plan to stop drinking on them. Are you willing to help me, Janna?”

“On one condition, when you kick this habit you will work on getting Justin back, if he is willing to have you back.”

“You know I’m not living now. My life ends when we are apart.”

“So, why did you throw him out?”

“Because he deserves to live a life without the baggage of a blind addict. He has his own career and I won’t help that.”

“You do know that isn’t the way he sees it. You have ripped out his heart.”

Janna helped him stand up and sit on the couch.  Let me get some ice for your head.” When she got out the ice she noticed there was nothing in the freezer.  She pulled open the refrigerator and it was nearly empty, too. She brought the ice over to Brian and put it on his head.

“Thanks.”

“I don’t know what you eat in this house but there is nothing here. Are you OK if I run to the store for an hour?  Brian, do you promise to not take another pill while I’m gone?”

“I promise, besides, I have a massive headache.  I am just going to take a nap.”

Janna was concerned but not overly.  Brian threw her his wallet. “Buy whatever.”

She returned an hour later to find Brian in the same  spot. “Hey, how’s the head?”

“Maybe a little better.”  He sat up and let out a groan.  “OK, maybe not better.”

Janna made them some dinner and Brian ate a little.  She was starting to wonder if she should have made him go in.  

“I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Brian, where do you keep all your pills?”

He didn’t answer.

“Think about it, Brian. I won’t cut you off, I promise.”

Justin worried around the apartment until Janna texted him later.   Brian had eaten and gone to bed.

Jarod walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Justin.  “Everything alright?”

“Ya, he is ok.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him, Justin.  He just was charging you and i had to step in.”

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt him.” Justin kissed Jarod. They had only had sex a couple times since that first time. Jarod deepened the kiss and Justin responded. Jarod realized Justin only needed him after seeing Brian but at this point he would take that. Just seeing Brian turned Justin on. Jarod pulled Justin close.  He reached under Justin’s shirt and started lifting it up. Many times this is where Justin would stop him but not tonight. Justin grabbed at Jarod’s shirt and pulled it over his head. Justin was frantic. Living with Brian sex was a staple. Since he wasn’t there anymore…

Justin needed to be close to someone.  His frustration in every way was high. It was his turn to take charge. He needed to be in charge of his own life.

‘We are going to the bedroom, NOW.”

Jarod wasn’t sure where this Justin came from but he didn’t mind it.  It was obvious he was in charge tonight. He saw a look in Justin’s eyes he hadn’t seen before.  

“Strip!” While Jarod took off his clothes Justin was rummaging through some drawers. Soon he had a couple ties.  He had Jarod on his stomach. He tied Jarod’s hands with the ties to the headboard. Next he went to the bathroom.  He found the oil he was looking for. It was his night to get release. He drizzled oil down Jarod’s spine. He rubbed the oil first into his shoulders.  He worked his way slowly down his back. He spent time running his fingers up and down Jarod’s sides tickling him with no mercy. He then did a deep massage on his lower back.  

Jarod moaned.  

“I have just gotten started.”  He continued working the muscles in his lower back and then he poured the oil down Jarod’s crack.  Justin ran his fingers up and down Jarod’s crack.

“Oh, god, Justin.”

“You are not coming yet.” Justin started running a finger around Jarod’s asshole. Justin felt in loosening a bit and then he started dipping in.  He then jabbed a finger in as deep as he could reaching for his prostate.

“Justin, I can’t…..”

“Yes, you can!”

Jarod was nearly in tears trying to follow Justin’s directions.  He would do anything for Justin.

“On your knees.”  Jarod struggled but managed to get his knees under him. Justin stripped off his pants and grabbed a condom.  In one swift motion Justin had entered Jarod the entire length of his shaft. Jarod let out a shout. Justin wasn’t sure if it was pain or pleasure but Justin continued with long, hard strokes. “Are you ready?”

“Oh, god, yes!”

One more stoke and both Justin and Jarod released at the same time.  Jarod seemed to shake for a very, long time. Over and over he moaned.

Justin rolled under him and kissed him before untying his hands. He was a little worried about Jarod’s reaction.  Jarod was such a baby when it came to sex Justin didn’t really care tonight. He needed control of something and that happened to be Jarod.

Both men lay on their backs looking at the ceiling.  Justin took a sideways glance at Jarod. “You OK? Not sure why I thought I needed to be in control of something tonight.  And you were here.”

Jarod took a couple breathes.  “Justin, I have never been more turned on in my life! I didn’t know you had that side to you but even more crazy is I almost wished you would go on with the activities, if you  know what I mean.”

Jarod took Justin’s hand and started interlacing his finger with Justin’s but before he could do it Justin snatched his hand back.

Brian was doing his best to follow Janna’s medication schedule but he still had a stash she didn’t know about and he did take a few of those.  He had been good about not drinking at work. He still had a bottle available but hadn’t found a need for it. It was Thursday and he new Gus was coming into town tomorrow.  His son was coming to town but he wasn’t allowed to be alone with him. And maybe that was a good thing. He was a pretty useless father now. Janna wouldn’t be here to pick him up for a couple hours and he didn’t have any appointments.  Before he knew it he had taken a few more pills and Jim Beam came out of hiding.

No one was sure what happened but when Janna arrived Brian was laying on the floor of his office. He wasn’t injured.  He was just high and drunk.

Janna shook her head as she walked in.  How had she gotten herself into this mess. “Brian, hey Brian.”

Brian’s eyes fluttered open. He squinted his eyes.  It was so bright. “Who are you? Janna?” He blinked again and everything was dark again.

Brian had said her name and then mumbled something about being bright.

“What did you do, Brian? I thought you had given me all your pills and  I thought you weren’t drinking here anymore.”

He was still really out of it but Janna understood ‘Gus’.  That actually made sense. He had been trying. He really had but his son was coming to town and the mother said he couldn’t stay with Brian.  That had to be painful. She trusted Justin would try to get them together a few times but if anyone else found out about tonight he may even lose that chance.

After she got him home and he had sobered up, Brian said, “Janna, are you wearing purple today?”

Instinctively she looked down.  Her top was purple. “Brian, how did you know that?”

“I saw you. For just a split second my sight was back. Everything was really hazy but I saw purple.”  

He had to be telling the truth or why would he have picked purple.

Jarod had tried to entice Justin into some more games in the bedroom but most nights Justin gave him a quick kiss and turned away from him.  It was getting harder and harder on him. After Gus left next week they needed to talk but it would wait.

Justin met Gus at the airport.  Gus was nearly 6 now. It had been far to long since he had seen Brian’s son, their son. When Justin saw him coming he dropped to his knees and opened his arms.  “Jusssstttttiiiinnnnnnnnnn.” He threw himself into the open arms.

“GUS! It is so good to see you. I think you have grown at least 6 inches since I saw you.”

Jarod stood a few steps away.  The contrast between Justin’s blond head and Gus’s dark locks was striking.  He could see the love between them. Just one more thing tying Justin to Brian.

Brian had a couple more incidents on Friday and Saturday when he thought he saw light or shadows but it was always fleeting.  He didn’t bother saying anything because what difference did it make. Having a shadow pass his eyes didn’t solve anything.

As Sunday rolled around Brian was very excited.  He was very careful to only take the prescribed amount of pills.  Gus was coming here. Gus loved playing in their hidden garden. Justin wasn’t sure it was such a good idea considering his last visit  but this was for Gus. Jarod agreed to stay home so there would be less tension and Dan said he would be around.

Justin punched in the gate code and Gus ran down the path.  Across the garden he saw Brian. “DAD!” Brian bent down on his haunches and waited for the impact of his son.  He wrapped his arms around him and swung him in circles. Brian realized too late that wasn’t a good idea. He was disoriented.  He didn’t know which way the house was. From the look on Brian’s, Justin could tell what had happened as he walked. “Hello, Brian.”

Just hearing Justin’s voice affected Brian to the core.  By him speaking, Brian was able to get his bearings again because he knew Justin would be on the path.but more than that his heart exploded in joy and pain.  It had been so long since his heart had beat like this. He missed him so much. Brian and Justin sat on the patio while Gus explored like only little boys can.  At one point Gus climbed up on Brian’s lap and snuggled into his arms and Brian just held his son. Hearing the little boy chatter and then slow down as he dozed off from all the exercise and sun he had gotten.  

“Brian, I can go make us some lunch if you would like me to.”  

Just hearing his name roll of Justin’s lips made his loins ache.There were so many things he wanted to ask and say but he had no right.  “I think there is something already made up in the fridge. I could get it but,” He pulled Gus a bit closer.

Justin headed to the house.  Without thinking he ran his hand across Brian’s shoulders.  He tilted his head down and for the briefest of moments he saw Gus’s face.  A tear rolled down his cheek. He was with the two people he loved most in the world and he couldn’t be alone with either of them.

When Justin came back out he noticed Brian’s tears. “You, OK?”  

“Yes, I just missed him.” He wanted to add  and you. “I hope things are going well for you, Justin. Have you been painting anything special recently.”

“I haven’t painted anything for a while.”  Justin wanted to add that it was hard to paint without a beating heart.

Gus stirred and soon was eating a sandwich and chips and then off running again.

Far to soon for Brian it was time for them to go.  “When can you come again? Or when can I see him?”

“Does Tuesday work for you?  Pizza at the place around the corner?  Is 6:00 too early?”

“That will work for me.”

“Hey, Gus, time to say goodbye.  In two days we will see your dad again.  We can have pizza together. How does that sound?”

“Yeah! Can Jarod come with us then too?  I like Jarod.?”

“He might be busy but we’ll ask him. Now, give your dad a kiss.”

Brian leaned over so Gus could give him a kiss.

Gus said, “Justin aren’t you going to kiss Daddy goodbye?”

Justin leaned in and kissed Brian’s cheek. “I will see you Tuesday.  I will text details.”

“Love you, Son,”

Justin took Gus’s hand and they left the magic garden.  Brian was left sitting in a chair as everything seemed to wither including his heart.

When Janna arrived back at Brian’s she found him sitting at the table on the patio.  “How’d it go? Did you have a good time? Any issues?”

“Fine, Yes, and No.” There was no inflection in his voice.  It was like he was empty

“Well, thanks for the informative conversation. I’m sorry, Brian.  Do you want to talk about it?”

“I saw Gus’s face.  Just for a second but I saw it. I don’t want to get my hopes up.  Don’t tell anyone, please.”

“Brian, maybe we should take you to the doctor.”

“What will that change? They said there is nothing they can do.  If it comes back it comes back. I have chased Justin away. I am not allowed to be with Gus alone.  I guess the upside to that is I get to listen to Justin breath. Oh, and I found out my son, MY SON, likes Justin’s new boyfriend. I wonder if he’s jumped in bed with them like he always did with us.”

“Brian, you made a good impression today.  Keep this up and soon you will be spending lots of time with Gus. Isn’t that what is important.” Brian couldn’t talk.  He nodded.

Justin and Gus came in the apartment laughing and giggling. Jarod had his doubts about having Gus stay with them.  He’s Brian’s son. However, he was a special little kid. Jarod did like him. And he couldn’t help who his father is. Jarod looked at Justin’s face and saw he was having a hard time holding it together.

“Hey, Gus, you look like you are a little warm.  How about a popsicle? He led him to the kitchen, got the treat and sat him in front of the TV watching cartoons.  

Justin had gone to their bedroom and Jarod found him standing at the window.  Jarod wasn’t sure what his reaction would be. He stepped up behind Justin and pulled him against him. He hated seeing Justin hurting but the fact that he was hurting because of Brian made it all the harder. “What did he do this time?”

“He didn’t do anything.  He was so happy to see Gus. He seemed to be clean, or at least doing well.”

“Isn’t that good?  He is moving on.”

“He isn’t moving on.  He isn’t moving at all. I’m so sorry, Jarod.  You are are amazing! You have no flaws. You are kind, generous, tender, loving…”

“Stop. Don’t say it.  I know you don’t love me. Let me reword that.  I know you aren’t in love with me. I know you do love me. But I also know your heart will only belong to him.  I’m OK with that. I have enough love for both of us.” At this point he turned Justin to face him. “Baby, I will do anything, anything to make you happy.”  He started lowering his mouth but Justin put up a hand.

“Jarod, I need to think. Would you please go check on our son?”

That one small word said it all.  Jarod stepped back from Justin and went to check on Gus.

Tuesday Justin texted Brian and said Gus and he would pick him up at 6:00. Brian hoped that meant that Jarod wouldn’t be there. It hadn’t been Brian’s best day.  He knew he had taken far more of the pills than he was supposed to but he didn’t take a drink when he was stressed. The after effects however were making him very jittery tonight.  God, he wanted a drink. Maybe just a beer. He started walking toward his refrigerator.

“Brian, the excessive pills you took today are blurring your judgement.” Janna had just walked in the door. “You are eating with your son and the love of your life, which by the way, you threw out. Do you really want to be more impaired than you obviously are now?”

“It is obvious?”

“I know your eyes aren’t working but your pupils are still the size of pins. You are fidgety.  I would say it is pretty obvious. And, when you get back we need to talk about this arrangement.”

The buzzer on the gate sounded. “We’ll talk when you get home. Go meet your family.”

Gus walked between Justin and Brian the short distance to the pizza shop.  The pizza was ordered and Gus went to play in the playground near their table. Both men were quiet. Then at the same time the men started talking.

“Go ahead, Justin.” Brian said.

Justin had a tone to his voice that Brian was unsure about.  “You couldn’t even have dinner without being high. I had planned to tell you tonight that I was moving into my own place but I am not sure I can deal with this on my own. I can’t watch you destroy yourself without support.”

At that moment Gus cried out.  Justin was out of his chair instantly and rushed to Gus. “Hey, Gussy. What happened?” Gus held up a scraped elbow. Oh, poor, Baby.”

“I’m not a baby.”

“No, you’re not.  You are being very brave.”

An employee came over to check on them and brought a band aide.

Brian was listening nearby and could tell it was nothing serious. As he blinked he could see a little light again and although it was fuzzy Brian could see Justin putting the band aide on Gus’s elbow, kiss it, and then pull him into his arms for a hug and kiss.  With that Gus ran back to play and Brian was again in the dark. “And that’s why he was going to get clean.”

Justin had said very little to him the rest of the evening and when they dropped him off at the gate Gus gave him a hug but Justin didn’t talk about scheduling another meeting with Gus. The only thing he said was to Gus.  “Hey, Buddy, let’s go find Jarod.”

Brian was fairly sure that was said specifically to hurt him.  He heard Gus’s small voice get quieter as they walked away. Brian pulled out his phone and pressed number 7.

“Ted Schmitt.”

“When are you coming to New York?”

“I scheduled it for next week. What’s up?”

“Is Blake coming?”

“Yes, Brian why are you asking?”

“I need help.  I need Blake’s help.”

“Brian, we will be there tomorrow.”

Justin and Gus arrived back at their apartment.  “Gus, why don’t you get ready for a bath.”

“Ah, Justin.”

“Nope you need to clean up. I will get the water started and if you promise to do a good job I won’t help, deal?”

“You will help with my hair?”

“Of course, I will help you.  You just let me know when you are ready.”

Once Gus was settled with toys and bubbles Justin left him, though he was very close at all times.

“Jarod.”

“What’s up, Justin?”

He barely had the words out of his mouth when Justin reached up and pulled Jarod’s mouth down to meet his. After a searing kiss Brian said,  “I know it’s not fair to you but I need you tonight. If the answer is no I understand.”

Jarod bent down to claim Justin’s lips again. “I am always here for you.”

“Justin, I’m ready.”

“Be right there, Buddy.” Justin looked up at Jarod.  I will be back in a few minutes.

After tucking Gus into bed, Justin walked into their bedroom.  Jarod had lit candles and opened a bottle of wine. He gently took Justin in his arms and looked into his beautiful, blue eyes.  “What do you need tonight, Baby? Tell me what you need. Whatever you want I will do for you.”

“Use me. Just remember,” He nodded to the door.

Jarod used more finesse than he had the first night Justin moved in. He moved slowly.  He unbuttoned each button, kissing Justin’s chest after each one. The last button led to the pant dropping to the ground.  Jarod the briefs down. He dropped down and untangled the pants from his feet. He leaned and ever so slowly drug his tongue downward from his stomach to his penis.  He continued to the tip where he circled around the tip over and over. With his hands he had reached around behind him and started a rhythmic in and out as Jarod’s hands  massaged his ass and started fingering him as well. He laid Justin down on his back and slowly pressed into Justin.

Justin closed his eyes and Brian’s face popped into his head and he heard, ‘Now relax.  I want you to always remember this moment so no matter who you’re with I’ll always be there.’

“Jarod, stop!  I’m sorry. I thought I could do this.  I can’t. I’m so sorry!”

Justin grabbed a pair of shorts and left the room. He went into the guest bathroom and pulled on his shorts.  He looked at his own face in the mirror. “Well, Brian, you got your wish. You’re always there.” Justin crumbled to the floor.  After composing himself he slipped in bed with Gus, pulling the little boy near for comfort. This may be the only part of Brian he will ever hold again. He couldn’t go back to him the way he was but he definitely couldn’t drag Jarod down with him.  If he couldn’t have the old Brian he would just be alone.

As soon as Gus went home he would find his own place.

Chapter 15

After making the call to Ted, Brian walked down the path and through the garden to his house.

Janna was waiting with her suitcase.  “Brian, it’s time I move on. I have taught you everything you need to know and I have done everything I know how to do to curb your drug use.  That isn’t my area of expertise. You need help, Brian.” She waited for a blowup or at least a denial.

“I have friends coming in tomorrow.  They are both recovering addicts and one is now a drug abuse counselor. Janna, thank you for everything you have done.”

“That is great news, Brian. I know you can beat this.”  Janna gave Brian a hug and walked out the door.

Justin talked to Jarod in the morning. He asked if he could stay until Gus left. He would leave on Saturday as soon as Gus was on the plane.

“Justin, you don’t have to go.  We can work something out.”

“There is nothing to work out, Jarod.  I am afraid I have ruined our friendship and I know I can never be more than that.”

“If all you want is friendship I can do that.”

“But will you always want it to be more? That isn’t fair to you.  I would love for you to continue working with me but I understand if that can’t be.  I will always consider you one of the best friends I have ever had.”

Ted and Blake were on the last flight in for the day.  By the time they arrived at Brian’s house they found Brian in a state.  Obviously, he had been drinking and more than likely had taken far more than the recommended number of pills for the day.

Brian gave each of the men a hug.  “Hey, guys, thanks for coming. Have a drink! Help yourself.

“Brian, you know neither of us drink but looks like we got here just in time.” Blake took charge of the situation.   “Brian looks like you need to go to bed. Ted and I will talk to you in the morning.”

Justin spent the next 3 days entertaining Gus.  They went to museums and the park. They went to the top of the Empire State Building. They watched movies and ate popcorns. Justin knew how hurt Brian would be if he didn’t see Gus before he left.  He picked up the phone and called the office. “Hey Daph, is he in?”

“Where have you been? I miss you.”

“Sorry, Daphne, life’s been a little crazy. So is he in?”

“Ya, I’ll Pass you through.  Did you know Ted and Blake were here?

“No, what are they doing in town?”

“Brian called them for help.”

“He needs it! Now, can you pass me through? Gus is getting impatient.”

“Kinney.”

“Brian.”

“Justin. Is anything wrong?”

“Gus is hoping to see his dad once more before leaving tomorrow.”

“After the way I screwed up? You are willing to do that for me?”

“It’s not for you.  It’s for Gus.”

There was a hesitation.  “For Gus, sure.”

“We’ll stop by the house.  What time will you be home?”

“I will be home by 5:00.”

“Will you be high? Because if you are we won’t stay.”

“I won’t be.  I promise.”

“See you then.”

“So, was that Justin?” Ted asked.

“Ya, he will be by the house tonight for dinner, with Gus.”  Brian shook his head a bit. He was seeing Ted. “Hey, Ted, is that a new suit?”

“Yes, it is. It’s not Arman…. BRIAN, you can see?”

“I could for 30 seconds. It  comes and goes. It is gone again. Please, keep it to yourself.  The doctors had told me things like this could happen. It could lead to my sight coming back but it could stop happening altogether.

“That’s great!  I mean that you can see even if it is sometimes.  What did Justin say?”

“Whatever you do don’t tell him. Obviously, we aren’t together and I don’t want whether I can see or not have anything to do if we get back together.”

“Brian, you aren’t living and unless some major change happened Justin isn’t functioning normally either.”

“I doubt he will ever come back.  Well, truth is I kicked him out and told him not to come back.“

“Of course you did. The great Brian Kinney has to be in charge.”

Brian reached for the bottle of Jim Beam in his drawer and had it halfway to the glass before he caught himself. “Shit.” He picked up the bottle of pills but then threw it back in the drawer.

Ted walked over to him and laid his hand on Brian’s shoulder. “I’m not going to say it will be easy but you can do this.  Keep your focus on the reason you have for getting better.”

“Thanks, Ted.”

When Ted had left, Brian opened the bottle of pills and swallowed a couple. He had to be focused tonight. He took just enough to take the edge off.

At 4:30 Ted and Brian headed home. Ted had let Blake know Justin and Gus were coming over so he was making and early dinner for all of them. Ted looked over at Brian, “How many did you take?”

“What do you mean?  You saw me put them back.”

“Don’t shit with me. You took some when I wasn’t around.”

“I had to, “ Brian held tighter to Ted’s elbow..  I couldn’t make it through the evening and I have to be able to function with Gus here.”

Ted didn’t respond.

At 5:30, Brian could pass for normal, no signs of jitters.  There was a knock on the door and a little voice, “Dad, are you in there? Dad!”

“Hey, Sunny Boy!” Brian scooped him up and hugged him tightly. “I am so glad Justin could bring you over tonight.” He blinked a couple times and the little boy’s face came into focus.  Brian hugged him a little tighter.

“DAD, I can’t breath.”  Brian set him down and tickled him.  The little boy’s giggles filled the house.

Justin stood in the doorway.  He looked up at that beautiful face. Brian’s heart skipped a beat. He missed Justin so much it hurt.

“Dad!”

“Sorry, Sunny Boy. Would you like to go out to our magic garden?” He ran out the door. Brian followed him.

Ted walked over and gave Justin a kiss and hug. “Hey, Sunshine. How are you? Great seeing you.  

Blake was up to his elbows in  some kind of food and just waved, “Hey, Justin.”

“Hi Blake, Thanks so much for coming to help out Brian.”

“Looks like he got himself into some deep trouble.”

“I haven’t had much contact with him for the last few weeks.  I hadn’t seen him….. I am moving into a new place on Saturday.  Well, actually I am moving into an old place. The ladies we stayed with while Brian recuperate said I could stay with them.”

“Have any new artwork to show us.  Your work is so amazing.”

“I haven’t done anything since Brian made me leave. I don’t have a heart for it.”

Ted walked over and put his arms around Justin.  Out of the corner of his eye Ted noticed Brian was watching.  He thought he noticed Brian looking at Gus. That’s twice today his vision came back.”

The four men and Gus had burger, homemade fries, and a salad.  For dessert it was hot fudge sundaes. Gus had everyone’s attention throughout the meal with his chatter about Canada. Too soon it was time for Justin to take Gus back to the apartment. Everyone gave Brian and Gus some space so they could say goodbye.

Gus yawned.

“Are you ready, Buddy?” Gus nodded.  Justin scooped the little boy up. Gus wrapped his arms around Justin’s neck and his legs around his waist. As they walked away Gus dropped his head on Justin’s chest.

Brian dropped onto the couch, put his head in his hands and said to Blake, “That’s why I am going to get better!”

“Brian, has your sight been back all night?” Ted questioned. Blake looked surprised.

“It isn’t steady but I have been able to see at least shadows all night. I have a long way to go before I am going to believe it’s for good.”

Blake and Ted looked at each other. Blake said, “Brian, you have a long way to go period. Tomorrow you are staying home.  Actually, you will be staying here for awhile.”

“I can’t do that.  I have a business to run.”

“I will take care of the office.  I can bring home anything I need you to approve but, Brian, if you are serious about getting better.  If you really want to fight to get those two back in your life, you are going to have to follow Blake’s instructions.  It isn’t going to be pretty but, you’re Brian Fuckin’ Kinney. You got this if you really want it.”

When Justin got home, Gus was sound asleep.  He decided the bath could wait until tomorrow morning. Gus could sleep through anything.  He was like a puppet with no strings. Justin pulled Gus’s shirt off and tugged off his grass stained shorts.  He had to smile when he saw the ‘Rage’ underwear. He loved this little boy so much. If Brian didn’t get better he was going to always be there for him. Justin got in the other side of the bed, pulled the blanket over both of them and tried to sleep. All he could think of was Brian. His body ached for him. Could you be dead and breathing at the same time?

When Brian got up on Friday morning he was greeted by Blake. “Good morning, Brian.”

“What the fuck are you doing in my bedroom?”

“How’s the eye sight today? Any change?”

“Same as last night. Now what are you going in my bedroom?”

“I’m here to collect all the pills you have in the house. It’s the only way, Brian.  We need to get rid of the tempation. While your at it get the booze, too.’’

Brian hesitated for a minute.

“If Gus and Justin aren’t worth getting clean for I can go back to Pittsburgh tonight. You can just kill your business and yourself.”

Brian started opening drawers and pulling out pills. Eventually, Brian had located 4 bottles in the bedroom and the bathroom along with a bottle of whiskey.  Blake left with the contraband while Brian showered and dressed. Blake figured by the time he came downstairs, Brian would be getting edgy. By the end of the day, it was going to be ugly. Ted would be here by then and if he needed him earlier the office wasn’t far away.  

When Brian came down Blake had a pot of strong black coffee ready.  He put several tablespoons of sugar in the mug and filled it with coffee. Without saying a word he handed it to Brian’s trembling hands.

“We need to talk about this, Brian.  The best way to deal with this is not to go cold turkey. It isn’t like typical street drugs.  Do you have any idea how much you were taking in a day?”

Brian shook his head.  I couldn’t see them. “I would just put some in my hand and swallow them.”

“Are we talking 10 a day, 15 a day?”

Brian shrugged, “I don’t know. I started out with a couple in the morning and a couple more at noon. And then sometimes a couple more in the afternoon. Just give me something, please. My head is killing me.”

Blake decided to give Brian double the doctor’s dosage.  He knew this was far less than Brian was taking but it was fairly safe and better than cold turkey. Brian gladly swallowed them down.

Justin packed up his stuff when he got home from the airport.  Jarod walked into the bedroom. “So you are really going? You don’t have to.  You can stay in the guest room. I promise I won’t…”

“Jarod we talked about this.  I love you but I will never be in love with you. I can’t stay here.You deserve so much.  You need to go find it and if I’m here you won’t. I would love to see you at work everyday but you will need to make that decision.  He walked over to Jarod and places his hands on Jarod’s cheeks. He stood on his tiptoes and kissed him slowly. I’ll see you at work on Monday unless you let me know differently.  Jarod, if you need to take a break, go visit your dad, head to the islands for a while, your job is always here for you.”

Justin walked out the door.

Blake popped in a movie that Brian had.  He hoped it might be a distraction for him. Brian doubled over at one point.  He had cramps along with nausea. Blake was by Brian’s side when he threw up. He left Brian alone when he told him to get out.

By the time Ted got home at 6:00 p.m. Blake was worn out and Brian had fallen asleep.  Blake stepped into Ted’s arms and kissed him. “You are going to owe me after this one. I forgot how vicious Brian could be.”  

“How long will he sleep?” Ted had a gleam in his eye. Blake put his arms over Ted’s shoulders

and pressed his hips against Ted’s.  “Since we both seem to be ready right now….”  Ted pushed Blake against the wall and slipped his hand down his pants,

“You couldn’t have come home an hour ago?” Blake managed to say as Ted took his penis in his mouth. Ted sucked and licked Blake until he had gotten every last drop of cum out of him.  He then brought his mouth back up to Blake’s.

“Thank you for doing this, Blake. I know Brian was really more of a friend of mine than yours. And I know he can be a real ass in the best of circumstances.”

“It isn’t nice to talk about a dying man like that.” Brian moaned from the couch.

“Hey, Brian, how you doing?”

“Seriously, Ted! If someone would take the elephant off my head I might find it bearable.”

Blake had given him the six tablets for the day.  It was obvious he had been using much more than that.

“Blake let me know your eyesight seemed to holding its own today.”

“Ya, I am so glad now that I look like death I can see myself.”

“Blake is it normal to run a fever in withdrawal? I feel like I am burning up.”

Blake walked over to Brian and felt his forehead. He definitely had a fever and that wasn’t a side effect typically.  Ted got a cool, wet washcloth for Brian’s neck while Blake double checked he was right about the side effects. A fever was not one of them.  

“I would say the fever isn’t related to the withdrawal.  You must have picked up a bug.”

“Oh great, now while they are talking about me on TV I am too sick to notice.”  Blake and Ted looked at each other. Paranoia as well as anxiety were both side effects and it appeared some of that was creeping in.  They took turns checking on Brian’s fever as he went in and out of fitful sleep.

Dan stopped by to see how it was going and when he heard about the fever gave the doctor a call who assured them unless the fever got a lot higher they shouldn’t be concerned about that.  There was a bug going around that had caused a fever in most but you just had to ride it out. Leave it to Brian to get it while detoxing. They got him upstairs into his bedroom and took turns sitting with him.  He was really out of it. He was in and out of sleep and when he was sleeping he had dreams that set him into panic.

He often cried for Justin. On Saturday afternoon Justin called to check on Brian.  Ted told him about the fever and the withdrawal side effects. As they were talking Justin heard Brian cry out for him in his sleep.

“I’m coming over.” Was all Justin said.

Justin arrived 30 minutes later and went directly to the bedroom.  Brian was thrashing in a bed whose sheets were soaking from his sweat.  Justin stripped off his own shirt and pants. He did the same for Brian.  He asked Ted to bring him a bowl of ice water for the cloth. Justin crawled in bed with his back to the headboard.  Brian lay between Justin’s legs as he tossed and turned. Justin kept cooling off the cloth in the water and talked quietly about Gus, about times they had together.  

Brian seemed to wake up and his eyes darted back  and forth across the room. “Sunshine, is that you?”

“It’s me, Baby.   You have a fever.” He refreshed the cloth and ran it to the back of Brian’s neck.

Brian shivered, “It feels so good. I love you, Sunshine. I love Gus.  I can’t live without both of you in my life.” Brian than slipped away again but seemed to rest a little easier.

Justin stayed with him a little longer but when he thought he was sleeping more soundly he slipped out of bed, dressed, and went downstairs.

“Ted, is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“What are you talking about, Justin?”

“I could have sworn Brian was seeing things in the room and I don’t mean hallucinating, although he was doing that, too.”

Ted shuffled and looked at his feet.

“Come on, Ted, you know, no matter what Brian told you, I deserve to know what is going on.”

“His sight seems to be coming back.  At first it was just a shadow or a flash of light but the last few days he has been able to see even if it isn’t clearly.”

“Has he seen his doctor?  What did he say?”

“He says he has talked to his doctor and as long as he isn’t in pain because of it he just needs to wait it out and see what happens.  Justin, you don’t seem to be as happy as I thought you would be.”

“Ted, he threw me out. He didn’t want me anywhere near the office or the house.   He accused me of things. I can’t live without him but I can’t live with him if he is going to accuse and belittle me.”

“That sounds like the drugs talking.”

“I know that was a big part of it but I can’t keep riding his roller coaster. I would rather get a job framing art in a gallery then put up with the uncertainty of living with him, wondering when he will throw me out again.”

Justin hugged Ted and headed for the door. “If he gets bad again, call me.”

Brian’s fever broke but he still suffered withdrawal symptoms.  He had severe headaches but the worse was the depression. He slept a lot but then he dreamed, horrible dreams.  And when he was awake he couldn’t seem to think straight. Blake and Ted would talk to him and he couldn’t seem to come up the words he wanted to say.  

If only Justin would come to see him.  He knew he could talk to Justin. Justin always made him feel calm.  But he had chased Justin away. It was his fault he had no sunshine in his life.  He had no soul.

Justin kept in touch with Ted.  He knew Brian had improved but Ted told him he was in a severe depression from the withdrawal.  He no longer was taking any of the adderall and although it was tempting to get a medication to help with the depression that would just cause more trouble. He was still having trouble articulating his thoughts so he hadn’t gone back to work yet.

At the end of the third week Blake got a call that he was needed at his clinic in Pittsburgh.  

There really wasn’t much more he could do here. It would just take Brian time to adjust.

The night before Blake left Ted led Blake upstairs after Brian had gone to bed.  Ted hated staying behind but Brian wasn’t ready to go back to work without support.  Blake kissed Ted. They had a rough start but now neither of them would ever want to be on their own.  As the men touched and kissed their passion grew and they both cried out as they collapsed in each other’s arms.

Brian lay in his bed in the next room.  He heard his friends making love and as a tear rolled down his cheek he said, “Justin, I’m so sorry.  I need you.”

Several blocks away at Melody and Linda’s Justin lay in the bed he and Brian once shared.  He had been sleeping but was sure someone had called his name. If he didn’t know better he would thing Brian was here in the room with him. Quietly he said, “I love you, Brian.  Come back to me.”

Early the next morning Justin called Ted. He just had to know Brian was there and all right.  Last night he was so sure he heard his voice. “Ted, I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, I was up early.  Blake caught an early flight home this morning.  He had to get back to the clinic for a financial meeting. What’s up?”

“Is everything alright with Brian?  I know I am the one who sounds crazy but last night I thought I heard him say my name. It was like he was right in the room with me.  I must have been partially asleep and dreamed it.”

“I know he wants to see you.”

“Do you think it would help him? I mean if I come he won’t go backward will he?”

“Justin, I have never seen anyone come off Adderall before but I don’t think he could get more depressed.  I am not a doctor or counselor but I think he needs you.”

“I’ll come over today, maybe after lunch?”  

“I’ll run some errands about 2:00 so you can have a little privacy.”

“Thanks, Ted.”

At 2:15 Justin arrived at their house.  He was nervous because he didn’t know what to expect. He let himself into the gate and walked up to the house. He saw Brian sitting in front of the TV.  He knocked.

Brian jumped at the knock. He looked up and saw Justin standing there. He blinked to make sure he wasn’t dreaming it but he didn’t disappear. He quickly walked over and opened the door.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Brian, may I come in?”

“Oh, ya, sorry.  Come in.”

“I talked to Ted this morning and he told me Blake left this morning.  He said you were doing well. That you are off the pills completely. I’m really happy for you.”

“Um, Thanks.”

They sat in silence for a couple minutes.

“Brian, you are going to think I am crazy, but I have to ask you something. Last night I was laying in bed…”

“With Jarod?”

“No, Brian, I am living with Linda and Melody. But last night I was laying in bed and I heard your voice.”

“What did I say?”

“I heard you say, ‘Justin, I’m Sorry.’”

“And I heard you say that you loved me. I was sure it was just one of my hallucinations. I’ve had a few of those while I detoxed.  I even thought you were here one night when I had my fever.”

“I was here, Brian.  I sat up with you for a few hours trying to get your fever down.”

“I didn’t dare hope you would ever come back here.”

“Just because I am here doesn’t mean I’m here to stay.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Brian, I haven’t been able to paint since I left here.  I stand there with a paintbrush in my hand and don’t know what to do. I can’t even think straight.” Justin moved a bit closer.  I just need to feel you.

Before he could move closer he found himself in Brian’s arms. A shiver ran through Justin as their lips met. Together they stood and rushed upstairs. As clothes was discarded,  hands were moving everywhere.

“Sunshine, we don’t need to rush. I want to enjoy every second of this. He had Justin lay on his stomach and just ran his hands over every inch of his skin. He linked his fingers with Justin’s as his mouth ran from one wrist to the other leaving a trail of kisses across each shoulder blade.

For a second, Justin thought of Jarod. He never could link fingers with him.  That was too personal. That was for Brian.

Brian continued down Justin’s body with hands and lips and tongue.  When he got to Justin’s ass he could barely restrain himself. This man brought him so much pleasure, but more important, he gave him peace of mind.

Brian lowered his mouth to Justin’s sphincter.  He wanted to give Justin all the pleasure he could. He licked and pressed and slowly his tongue entered and exited. His tongues circled inside and out.

“Brian, it’s time.

Justin turned over and Brian but his legs over his own shoulders. He slipped on the condom and then slowly pressed in watching Justin’s face. He saw the moment of pain.  As Brian continued the deliberate thrusts he bent over and claimed Justin’s mouth. As Justin starts to spasm he tightens around Brian and together they ride the waves of of pure joy.

“Brian, I just want you to know, no matter who I’m with you are always with me and you are the only one I ever want to be with. Brian, I love you!”

“Justin, I’m so sorry I have been such a jackass.”

“We’ll talk about it later. Right now I need you again.”

Brian willingly agreed.  He slid in behind Justin. Slowly and gently entering him. They made love with all the pent up emotions from the last couple months.

Brian and Justin lay together enjoying each other’s warmth. “Justin, can I ask what happened with you and Jarod? I know it is none of my business and I respect that if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“I couldn’t love him the way he deserved to be loved. I love him but I can’t be ‘In Love’ with him. You own and have always owned that part of my heart.  

“Now I have a couple questions for you. Your sight, is it back?”  

“It is for now.  I don’t know if it is permanent but it is getting clearer every day.”

“That is amazing, Brian.  It doesn’t matter to me if you can see or not but I know it mattered to you and your career. Now my second question is a little more….I don’t know….I’ll just say it.  You are off the pills?”

“Yes, Sunshine.  I promise, no more pills.  Now that my sight is back I probably wouldn’t need it anyway.”

“Ted said you were having some other issues.  Baby, it’s OK. I just want to know what is going on with you.”

“I have been fighting real depression but that’s going to be better now.”

“Brian, as much as I wish that was true, I cannot ‘cure’ your depression although I hope I can make it some better.  Don’t be afraid to tell me what you are feeling. I know it isn’t your fault and I want to help you in anyway I can.”

Brian took Justin in his arms. “Thank you.  So let’s go get your stuff and move you back in.”

“Um, Brian, I hope sometime I can move back in but right now we aren’t ready for that.”

“But you said you loved me.  You want to help. I just thought….”

“Brian, I still love you more than I can wrap my mind around.  And that’s what makes this so difficult. I will probably be here more than you want me to be but I just have to be sure that next time something goes wrong that you will decide you don’t want me around again.  My heart can’t take another…..I just can’t be discarded again.”

“Oh, god, Justin, is that what you think? I know I was out of line.  I was doing it for you.”

“No, Brian.  If you were doing it for me we would have discussed it.  We would have made choices together. We would have been a couple.” Justin could see Brian process this.

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m not exactly sure.  I missed this,oh, I missed this!” Justin looked at the rumpled bed. “But before I am back to stay I just need to know you really want to be a couple.  Otherwise, maybe friends with benefits will have to be enough.”

“I’m not sure I understand, but I think I get it.  If I need to win you back, i can do that and, if I have to suffer through this,” He smirked as he ran a finger down Justin’s chest, “I’ll suffer. But just know, Justin, I do plan to have you back where you belong, soon.”  His finger kept creeping lower as he rolled on top of Justin and once again claimed his mouth.

It was about 5:00 p,m. when the men came down the steps. Ted was sitting on the sectional and just  shook his head. “I wasn’t sure you two were ever going to get done fucking.”

“Nice to see you, too. Ted.” He dropped a kiss on the top of his head.  His attention switched back to Brian. Justin wrapped his arms around Brian and Ted could feel the heat between them as they kissed. “I’ll see you soon.” Justin turned and walked out the door.

Ted had a very confused look on his face. “Where is Justin going?”

“He wants to be wooed.  I am going to woo him back into this house no matter what it takes.”

“Oh, god, wish I could stay around for this, but I need to head back to Pittsburgh at the end of the week to keep your office running and spend some time in the sack myself.”  Ted raised his eyebrows several times. “I know Blake just left but I already miss him.”

Brian dropped onto the sectional next to Ted.  “I know I don’t say this nearly often enough but, I hope you know how important you are to Kinnetic and to me, both at the office and as a friend.  If you repeat this I will deny it but I don’t think Kinnetic would still be running if it wasn’t for you. And that’s why I want you to be a partner.  We will talk details later.” Brian reached over and gave Ted a hug. Ted sat stunned as Brian walked away.

Brian called Justin later that evening. “Hi, Sunshine. I was wondering if you are free Friday evening? “

“I think I can rearrange my schedule.” Justin smiled to himself.  It was a start. The problem was he wanted to be with him tonight. He was so horny. “So what are you doing.right now.”

“Well, did you have something in mind?”  

“I was just thinking about sliding my hands down your flat abdomen and then farther down. And I think by now you might be getting just a start of a boner.”

“God, Sunshine...why are you doing this to me?’

“Because I need to so bad it hurts.”

“Friday, Justin, Friday.  Good Night. I’ll text details.”

Damn, now Justin really was horny and had to wait until Friday for release.  Justin went to the room he used for a studio and started painting.

Friday morning Justin received a text. “Expect a car to pick you up at 6:00.  Dress for a dinner out but have a warmer jacket along.”

Justin was glad he hadn’t gotten this earlier.  The suspense was going to kill him. At 5:45 Justin couldn’t wait upstairs any longer.  He walked down the main staircase. As he descended from the second floor to the first he heard a long, low whistle.  

Linda was standing there. “ If I was 40 years younger I think I may just switch teams. Mel, come out here.  Now!”

“That is a ‘fuck me’ look if I have ever seen one.” Mel said as she looked him up and down. “So where are you off too?”

“I wish I knew.  I was just told how to dress and bring a coat.” Justin was wearing a navy pinstripe suit with a soft blue dress shirt.  He had looked at ties for a long time and chose a white one. He wasn’t sure why, other than it was not a normal choice. There was a knock on the door.  Both women gave him a kiss on his cheek and Mel opened the door. There stood a driver with a white stretch limo parked in front.

“Mr. Taylor, your car.”  

Justin followed the driver and sat in the back.  There was a bottle of wine uncorked and a note. He recognized Brian’s sprawled handwriting.

“Dear Sunshine,

I look forward to spending the evening with you.  

Pour a glass of wine for yourself and one for me.

I look forward to seeing you in a few minutes.

All my love,

Brian

Justin held the note up to his nose and could smell Brian on it.  As much as he loved this man, how was he not supposed to fold to him the first night.  Oh, he planned to have lots of sex with him but he was not moving back in yet. He hoped he could follow through with his plan.

Justin had poured two glasses of wine and was sipping on one when the car stopped in front of their gate.  He heard the driver’s door open and shut. Moments later the back door opened Brian slid in. He looked exquisite.  His suit fit him like a glove. Justin wanted to just take it off him right now and run his hands over that beautiful body.

Brian kissed him and handed him a red rose. “Good evening, Sunshine. You look…..god, you look beyond….. He leaned over and this time pulled him in for an extended kiss.   Their tongues were drawn to each other. They were meant to always be like this.

After another couple minutes Brian drew back. They dipped wine and held hands for some time.  The car came to a stop. The driver opened the door near Brian. He stepped out and offered his hand to Justin who took it and stepped out. They stood next to a dock.

“Sir, I will take your coats for you.” The driver extended his arm and accepted the top coats. He went ahead of them.

Brian took both of Justin’s hands and looked at him from head to toe. He pulled him close and said, “I want to eat you right here, right now. You are stunning.”  

As others walked past they couldn’t help but notice these two beautiful men staring at each other.  

A couple of women walked past and one said, “I would do either of them.”

“ I will take whichever one you don’t. I think I just had a spontaneous orgasm looking at them.”

Justin and Brian had to laugh and the tension was gone for the moment.  Brian offered his arm and they walked down the dock. At the end was a yacht. “Welcome, Mr. Kinney, Mr. Taylor.  It is a pleasure to have you aboard this evening.” They were led to the back of the boat. There was a table set with wine next to a bench seat.  They sat down and the steward poured them each a glass. The boat pulled away from the dock and headed out to the bay.

Brian placed his arm across Justin’s shoulders and drew him near.  The steward reappeared with a tray of appetizers and set it on the table. Justin and Brian nibbled on the hors d'oeuvres, sampling and sharing.  Justin noticed sauce on Brian’s finger. He gently took Brian’s wrist and brought it to his lips. He took the finger between his lips and slowly used his tongue to lick it off, slightly sucking at the same time.  

Brian emitted a low growl, “God, Justin.”  

They continued enjoying the food but, more importantly, enjoying each other. Soon they forgot about the food and just felt the warmth of each other.  The boat slowed and stopped. The anchor was dropped. The steward came out of the cabin. “Gentlemen, your dinner is served.”

Brian stood and offered a hand to Justin.  He took it and stood. They walked arm in arm into the cabin.  Each chair was pulled out for them to sit down. The first course was brought out.  A bowl of spicy fish stew was set in front of each of them as well as a basket of crusty bread.  When the bowls were cleared away plates were brought out with the main course. Steak with asparagus and potato croquettes was served.  As they ate they first talked about general, unimportant things but as the meal went on the conversation grew more personal. Brian talked about his recovery, the physical and mental pain.  Justin told Brian about Gus’s visit and how much he loved that kid.

The steward came into the cabin again.  Gentlemen, if you are ready, dessert will be served on deck. He had their top coats waiting for them Justin helped Brian on with his and then Brian held Justin’s up for him.  Justin slipped his arms in and Brian turned him around. Before buttoning it Brian slipped his arms inside and roughly pulled Justin in to claim his mouth. His lips slid to his ear.  “I want you so bad I can already taste you.” He took a step back and buttoned the coat pulling it tightly around his Sunshine.

They stepped out onto the deck.  This time there was a double chaise lounge out there now.  The small table had been moved next to it. There was a tray filled with bite sized sweets and fruit with dipping sauces and a bottle of fine port. After the men got comfortable the steward set the tray between them.  Justin and Brian looked up into the night sky. The boat was far enough out to sea that millions of stars looked close enough to touch. After each had tasted a couple of the treats Brian moved what separated them. Justin snuggled into Brian’s side while he still held the port.  All of the sudden Justin noticed a falling star and then another and another. It was a meteor shower. Brian reached over and took the glass out of Justin’s hand, setting both glasses on the table, and then pulled Justin into his arms.

“Brian, this is so amazing.  I have never seen anything like this!”

Brian started nuzzling Justin’s neck.Laying a line of kisses from his ear to his lips.  He slid one hand into Justin’s coat and pulled his body tightly to him. There was just too much clothes between them.  He unbuttoned both coats and then their suit jackets. Now as the clung to each other they could feel the heat between them. Justin’s hands slipped into the open jacket.  One hand slid down the back of Brian’s pants while the other unbuckled Brian’s belt so he could slide his hand down the front of his trousers.

Brian let out a groan and pressed his cock into Justin’s hand. Justin’s fingers slowly rubbed the growing manhood. “Do you know what you are doing to me, Sunshine? Do you know what you are doing to me? Are you ready to go to the state room.”

“State room?”

“Yes, we are spending the night onboard.”  Brian stood up and took Justin’s hand. He led the way down steps and down a narrow hall to the stern of the boat. Brian led Justin in and immediately took off Justin’s coat and suit coat. He then discarded his own.  After trying to unbutton Justin’s shirt Brian ripped the front open and then did the same to his own. They were in each other’s arms. There was no getting close enough.

Clothes was totally discarded and skin was on skin.  Lips and tongues were everywhere. Hands slid over skin becoming slick with sweat.  Justin slid down Brian’s body and his mouth wrapped around Brian. “Oh, Sunshine, I’ve missed you so much. I need you in my life.  I am not living without you. I am just existing. Under the gentle motion of the waves they made love over and over until the sun it was nearly sunrise. They slipped on their trousers and shoes, along with their coats. Brian grabbed a blanket and went up to the deck to watch the sun rise.  As the rays of the sun cascaded across their bodies they made love one last time before falling into a peaceful sleep.

 

At noon the car picked them up at the dock.  It stopped at Justin’s first. Brian walked him to the house and to Justin’s surprise he did not mention having him move back home. The kiss was long and sensual. Their tongues didn’t want to stop the dance but Brian finally broke away. “I’ll see you soon, Sunshine.” Brian ran his hand down Justin’s cheek and he was gone.

Justin floated into the house and up the stairs. He spent the remainder of the day painting.  He was PAINTING! After spending hours in the studio he needed to stretch his legs. He was going to head down to grab a bite but decided he should check his phone.  There was a voicemail and a text.

The voicemail was from Jarod.  They had been in contact a couple times since Justin moved out.  “Justin, I am going to Omaha for a while. I am not sure how long I’ll be gone.  I need time to get my head on straight. I lov...I’ll talk to you soon.

Justin felt guilt over the Jarod situation but he had been up front from the beginning. Yes, he probably should have left him alone but he was his best friend.  He had needed him.

The text was from Brian.  He started smiling immediately. May Dan and I have the pleasure of your company tomorrow afternoon and stay for  dinner with us.

Justin responded: ‘I would love to spend time with you and Dan  tomorrow. Just let me know what time you would like me there.’

Justin washed some of the paint off his hands before going downstairs.  He heard his phone beep. Justin stepped on the elevator and looked at the text. Brian’s response:’ I hold my breath until I see you at 3:00 tomorrow.’

Brian talked to Dan to see if he was free to have dinner with Justin and him.  “Are you sure you want me around? I mean you two are just spending time together again.”

“That’s exactly why I want you to join us.  It needs to be like it used to be. We need to get back to normal. You are part of normal.”

“If you think I am normal you have more issues than I thought you did.” Dan chuckled.

“Dan I need him back full time.  You can tell how much my mindset has changed since I’ve been talking to him again.”

“You mean since you have been fucking him again.”

Dan saw a flash of anger cross Brian’s face. “Dan I am going to tell you this just once. I would want him back in my life even if he refused to fuck me. And trust me I have fucked hundreds of men maybe thousands of them but I have made love with one man.  Justin and I make love.”

“I’m sorry, Brian.  I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“No, I’m sorry. I  know you didn’t mean it that way. And, Dan, invite your new friend to join us.  Yes, not that I can see again, I have seen you slipping someone in and out of here.  Or should I say you have been slipping something in and out lately. ”

Justin arrived at 3:00 and found the other men sitting on the patio with a deck of cards.  Looked like a day of poker and beer. Justin and Brian were introduced to Joe, Dan’s new friend.  As the day went on Brian and Justin decided they liked Joe. He and Dan seemed to be a good match.  By 7:00 none of the men were feeling no pain. Dan and Joe decided to make the steaks so Brian and Justin decided to get in the hot tub for half an hour. They barely got in the tub before Justin was sitting in Brian’s lap facing him while he was playing with Brian’s dick. Brian’s mouth was everywhere it could reach. And they were heating up not only because of the water.  

Dan sent Joe over to the tub.  “Hey, guys, don’t yell at me but Dan said you needed to quit before you went too far because dinner was ready.”

Justin and then Brian got out of the tub.   They hadn’t bothered with suits and Joe was enjoying the view as they got out.  Dan slipped behind Joe and put his arms around his waist. “I agree, Joe, they are beautiful but I have never seen two men more dedicated to each other.”

All four men enjoyed their dinner but after the hot tub games Brian and Justin were primed and didn’t waste time.  They ate and excused themselves. They nearly ran into their house.

“So what is their story?” Joe asked

Dan wrapped his arm around Joe’s waist.  “Well, young man, come with me to my lair and I will tell you a tale. A beautiful tale.”

Brian and Justin entered the house and literally fell onto the sectional.   Justin was more beautiful than a person should be but, more than his outer beauty this man was even more beautiful on  the inside. The image of Justin carrying Gus out of the garden would never leave him.

Brian reached for a remote and turned on some music.  Soft jazz filled the room. Brian looked into Justin’s eyes and lowered his mouth to brush Justin’s as the song ended.  The next song began. “Save the Last Dance for Me” filled the air. “You know what we have to do.” He stood and offered his hand. Justin took it and stepped into Brian’s open arms.  This was their song. He had no memory of the first time they danced to it he did remember dancing to it many times since. Being pulled into Brian’s embrace always felt like he had found home.  Brian was always home. They stared into each other’s eyes, not wanting to look away. As the music ended Brian lowered his mouth to Justin tasted this man. He was glad he could see again. How would he have survived without being able to see that face but he was also glad that he had learned to use his other senses when he couldn’t see.  He realized how much he loved the taste of Justin. The smell of him. The feel of him. He pulled him as tightly as he could against him. Lowering his mouth to Justin’s ear he lightly bit his earlobe and then said, “Let’s take this upstairs, my love.”

Brian led Justin into the bedroom.  Brian walked over to the dresser and pulled out a silk scarf. He looked over at Justin.  “Are you game?”

“Game for what?”

“Game to be blindfolded.”

Justin turned around so Brian could tie it around his eyes. Brian undressed him, slowly. He then led Justin to the bed.  Justin trusted Brian with his life but this was a bit different.This is what Brian lived with for a few months. Brian helped Justin lay down on his stomach. “I will be right back, Sunshine.” Brian went into a couple drawers to find some enhancements.  He came back with a bottle of warming oil, a small vibrator, and another silk scarf. Brian poured the oil in his hand. Setting the bottle down he rubbed his hands together and then starting at Justin’s shoulders he rubbed it into his shoulders in circular motions. Every touch was heightened for Justin without his eyesight.  Brian could feel it warming under his touch. Brian continued working his way down adding more oil as needed. He rubbed oil into Justin’s ass. His fingers slipped slipped between Justin’s cheeks. Brian knew there was a bit of a burn when it hit tender skin but he also knew it could be a huge turn on. His fingers began slipping in and out of Justin who was having difficulty laying still.  Brian slipped off his clothes and straddled Justin across his thighs. He continued rubbing and sliding his fingers in and out. As Justin was thrashing Brian slid down Justin’s body so he was laying on Justin. Very quietly he asked, “I am not hurting you, am I? Does it burn?”

“It ….just a little.”

Brian slid back to a seated position. He again started sliding his finger in and out. He reached over and found the little vibrator.  They didn’t use toys often. They didn’t need to but he wanted tonight to be special. He inserted the vibrator into Justin’s anus.

Justin inhaled sharply. “Oh, god, Brian.”

Brian kept enough pressure on the vibrator that it pressed up against his prostate. Justin was nearly purring from the sensation. Brian had Justin turn over.  Just the different position created more pressure. Brian than took the silk scarf and starting at Justin’s neck he slid the scarf down his chest causing Justin to shiver more. He then took the scarf and wrapped it around Justin’s penis.  He tightened and loosened the scarf several times.

“Brian, please.”

Brian’s hands ran down Justin’s body dragging his nails ever so lightly. Brian tightened the scarf once more and this time he slipped his mouth around the end of Justin’s penis.  At the same time he reached between Justin’s legs and pulled out the vibrator. At that moment, Justin shouted and filled Brian’s mouth.

Justin’s hands grabbed Brian by the hair and pulled him up to meet his mouth.  Brian untied the scarf around his eyes. Justin blinked at the brightness. Justin leaned over in an attempt to take Brian in his mouth but Brian stopped him.  “Tonight was for you.” Brian collected him in his arms while his breathing returned to normal.

This was not the Brian Kinney Justin knew.  When it came to sex Brian had always needed it, always craved it, always lived for it.  Justin had never heard him say anything like this. Brian truly was giving everything for him tonight.

Eventually, Justin realized it was time for him to head home. Brian dozed so he got up quietly and started dressing. He heard a squeak and when he turned around Brian was propped on one elbow. “You know you could stay.  In fact, I wish you would stay tonight and every night.”

 

Justin leaned over Brian and kissed him.” I love you. .”  With that he walked out the door.