Justin’s Mate

Going Straight?



“Hey”



“Brian why are you home so early?”



“It’s my agency Justin I’m allowed some time off, you’ve been so busy lately at the studio I thought you’d be happy to see me.”



“Brian I need to shower”



“Justin don’t I get a kiss”



“Please Bri, I’ve been working in clay I’m covered up to my elbows if I don’t shower soon I’m going to have to shave my arms.”



“Justin {Brian quickly closes the gap between them} just one kiss.”



Justin stretches up and gives him a quick peck on the cheek the sprints away before Brian gets a chance to inhale.  Justin strips off his clothes and shoves them deep into the hamper as far as they will go and then quickly enters the bathroom.  He lets the water run as hot as he can stand and gets in.



Justin slumps to the shower floor he was feeling confused, he didn’t know what to do or what he was feeling.  His studio mate, they had so much in common, about the same age, Rocky a little older, about them same height Justin a little taller.  Both golden blond and blue-eyed. They complimented each other artistically where Justin excelled in drawing and painting, Rocky’s forte in clay and plaster.



They knew each other casually as freshmen at PIFA and then both experienced a forced leave.  Justin had his Stockwell thing; Rocky had a bad car accident leaving Rocky almost totally hearing impaired.  When they finally got back to college they were somehow drawn to each other. Justin coached Rocky in sketching and Rocky assisted Justin in working the clay.  While Justin’s hand had recovered fully enough to draw almost endlessly he still experienced cramps and stiffness when he had to knead the clay. That’s when Rocky would help.  They formed a bond and now maybe something closer. Justin was confused, worried and afraid. Shit, the water was running cold. Justin didn’t realize he was in the shower for so long.



When he got out Brian was standing there holding Justin’s overalls and inhaling deeply.  He looked angry, very angry. Justin stood there dripping unable to speak, move or take his eyes of his angry jealous lover.



“Who is he Justin?” as Brian inhaled the scent of the overalls again.



“Bri I swear there’s no one else please let me…”



Brian stopped him with a glare.



“I don’t recognize this cologne, even you wouldn’t fuck someone who wears cheap cologne.”



“No Brian please it’s not what you think”



The tears started to well up in Justin’s eyes and he swore to himself he hadn’t done anything wrong he wasn’t going to cry.  As hard as he tried every time he looked into Brian’s eyes the tears started.



“Justin aren’t we happy?  I give you everything you want; I tell you I love you everyday.  Why?”



“No Bri no please believe me”



The tears started to stream down his face.



“Save your tears they wont help you this time.  I want the truth and I want it now, you owe me that!”  Brian shouted at him.



“Brian I…”



Justin was now sobbing so hard he couldn’t breathe and he started to shiver uncontrollably.  Brian dropped the overalls and grabbed the first robe he could lay his hands on it was his. He wrapped the shivering sobbing boy and held him close.  Justin was having difficulty breathing and Brian feared it would lead to an asthma attack. Brian couldn’t stay angry he realized Justin was in pain with conflict.  Brian knew the signs so he picked up the sobbing boy who looked lost in Brian’s large robe and carried him to the bed.



Sitting on the edge of the bed with Justin in his lap Brian started to rock just a little to sooth Justin and held him tight.  The sobbing slowly subsided.



“Justin did you fall in love?”



In between sobs, “no.”



“Do you want to leave me?”



“No”



“Okay” Brian let out a sigh; he didn’t realize he was holding his breath.



“Can you tell me about it?”



“I’ll try”



“Name first”



“Rocky”



“A bear?”



“No”, Justin managed a little chuckle.



“A twink then”



“No”



“What’s left?  Justin no please don’t tell me, I couldn’t take if you bottomed for, if he’s, oh god no.”



Now it was Brian’s turn to cry at the thought that another man was fucking his Justin.



“No Brian not ever, I would never bottom for anyone else please believe me.”



Justin started crying again seeing Brian’s tears.  The two held onto each other until both calm enough to continue.



“Justin you’re killing me please tell me what’s happening?”



“Brian Rocky’s a girl”



Brian nearly choked on his own spit.



“Justin did I hear you correctly you’ve been having sex with a girl, a woman?”  Brian new he was capable of it he remembered what happened between Justin and Daphne.  But he didn’t think he would loose Justin to a woman.



“No, no sex, we haven’t even kissed.”



Brian could only think “yet”.



“Justin do you want to sleep with her, be honest, do you?”



“I don’t know”



“Justin can we lay down my legs are starting to fall sleep”



The lovers snuggled together in bed, Justin still wrapped up in Brian’s robe.  Brian had taken off his suit jacket but still fully clothed, as he got comfortable he loosened his tie.



“Justin can you tell me now?”



“Rocky, Rachel is her real name, we met when I first started at PIFA, she was away the same time I was, a car accident.  We returned to school about the same time too. You know I felt a little awkward when I got back she did too the accident left her deaf.  We kinda bonded. She’s real good with sculptures, clay and plaster, you know I don’t do well in that medium and she doesn’t draw well. We help each other.  I pose for her she poses for me. I help her with sketching and she helps me with the clay. My hand starts to hurt when I work the clay.”



“Why didn’t you tell me it still bothers you?”



“It doesn’t when I draw only when I knead clay for too long; Rocky then helps me.”



“I see”



“We decided to share the studio, share the expense and we work well together.  My loud music doesn’t bother her; we have a weird way of communicating. I’m at one end closer to the windows and she’s at the other when I want her attention I stamp my foot.  She feels the vibration and then answer me.”



“No wonder you get along someone who can put up with your horrendous music must be a gem.”



“Brian”



“Does she feel the same way about you?”



“I’m not sure she knows I’m gay and I think she has a boy friend, it’s just when we stand close to work on something its like…”



“Electricity?”



“Yeah how do you know?”



“Lindsey”



“Lindsey?”



“Uh huh”



“Bri I know you two had a relationship in college but I didn’t know you still have such strong feelings for her.”



“Why do you think Mel and I still don’t get a long?  Mel has never gotten over that I slept with Lindsey. A side from Lindsey being Gus’ mom and I’d do anything for them we’re both a little hung up on each other.  Given the right circumstances it probably could happen again.”



Both men let out a long sigh.



“So what do we do about this?”



“Justin you have to decide, I made that decision a long time ago.  I value my relationship with Linds and I wont do anything to screw it up.  She’s happy with Mel and they are the best parents for Gus. Why would I jeopardize that even if I wanted to fuck Linds, we have too much to loose.  Sometimes a man has to make a sacrifice for the right reasons.”



“Brian you never cease to amaze me”



“Yeah that’s me amazing but that doesn’t help you Sunshine does it; you have to decide about Rocky.”



“Do you want to meet her Bri?”



“No not yet not until you make up your mind.  I don’t think I could take it.”



“I’m sorry Brian”



“I know but you should have said something.  I don’t like getting angry like that I still have trouble controlling my temper.”



“Yeah tell me about it you scared me.”



“I scared me; the thought of loosing you.  Justin I’m not as strong as you are, I know you can survive without me but I can’t survive without you.”



“Brian that’s not true you’ve come a long way.”



“Sigh…well maybe I’d survive but not as well as you that much I do know.”



“Bri I care a lot about Rocky but I don’t thinks its love it’s just something.”



“You’ll have to work it out for yourself Justin this is something I can’t help you with; please try to do it soon for my sake.  I’ll just go crazy not knowing; come to think about it I may have to warn Cynthia, poor woman.”



“I promise Bri”



“No Justin don’t make this kind of promise just say you’ll work on it.”



“Ok, I’ll work on it”



“Good now should I call out for dinner?”



“Brian wait, do you still love me?”



“Baby I’ll never stop loving you”



“Can you make love to me now?



“Do you want me?”



“Yes Bri yes I need you inside me please.”



Brian got up and slowly removed his clothes his eyes never leaving Justin’s.  Justin watched his lover strip for him and his cock sprang to life thick, hard and getting red.  Brian grinned at his lover’s sudden arousal his own was there the moment Justin asked the question.  Justin started to wriggle his arms out of Brian’s robe, “leave it on Justin I want it to smell like you.”  Justin moaned and his cock began to leak. Brian crawled up and hovered over Justin. Brian kissed him as Justin wrapped his arms and legs around Brian.



Brian made love to Justin slowly, whispering into the young man’s ear “I love you” over and over.  Justin hung onto Brian and then began the babble. The lovers came together.



They laid huddle together for some time.



“Justin this is me, all that I have to give you, the rest of the stuff, the material stuff is bullshit; this is what I am.  I love you with my body and my soul. I’m yours to keep or not, my life is yours or not.”



Brian kissed Justin softly then got up to shower.  Justin lay there for a few moments then joined Brian in the shower.  The lovers hugged and cried as the warm water washed away the sweat, cum and tears.



Justin made his decision.



The next few days were difficult for Justin he couldn’t avoid Rocky they had too many classes together and then the studio time.  After several days Rocky approached Justin.



“Justin what is it?  I can’t stand this silence from you.”



Justin looked at her, in her eyes the blue mirrored his own and the tears leaked out.



“Justin did you and your boyfriend have a fight?’



“No not really” Rocky could read lips and Justin was learning to sign.



“Then what?”



“I have feelings for you and I’m confused about it”



“Oh” Rocky turned around and started to go back to her corner of the studio.  Justin followed and tapped her on the shoulder.



“Rocky I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship but I need to know how you feel about me”



“Justin you’re a good friend and a wonderful artist I care about you but I have no other feelings than friendship.”



“But what about you know when we work on something closely it’s almost magic.”



“Justin you’re confusing the rush you get when you create a piece of art for love.  It’s almost the same feeling but think about it there’s a big difference.” Justin knew what Rocky meant but never thought about it in that way.



“Justin I’m your first real studio mate aren’t I”



“Yes I’ve shared but not like this besides they were painters it felt different.”



“That’s because it was more like competition not like us, we compliment not compete and we can help each other without reservation.”



“Oh”



“Justin you should have said something instead of keeping this all inside; this happened to me before.”



“It did?”



“Yeah I shared with someone a while ago another painter and I thought what we were feeling was love but he set me straight.  Then we couldn’t work together after that. I wasn’t going to share with you but when I learned you were gay I figured I was safe.”



“I’m sorry you don’t want to quit do you?”



“No but you have to explain something to me I don’t have any other gay friends so I didn’t know you could be attracted to a woman.”



“Yes”, Justin started to laugh.



“What’s so funny?”



“I guess I will have to set you straight about a few things”



Then the two blonds both started to laugh and had a long talk.  Afterwards the tension gone they got back to work as friends. Justin realized the ‘electricity’ he felt was due to the work they accomplished and not because of anything else.  After a long productive day he asked Rocky if she wanted to meet Brian and she consented. Justin called Brian and arranged to meet for diner later that night.



Brian and Justin waited for Rocky to arrive at the small bar at the restaurant.  Brian immediately knew her as she came through the door almost a twin for his Sunshine.  She was pretty but no one was as beautiful as his angel. She approached the pair and Justin introduced Brian.  Justin’s jaw nearly hit the floor as Brian perfectly signed hello. Rocky signed back and turned to Justin, “You never said your boyfriend could sign.”  Justin replied, “I didn’t know” and looked at Brian with disbelief. Brian explained…



“I took classes in college and I try to keep in practice.  I have several hearing impaired clients. It helped me to win some big accounts especially when I was competing with another agency, I’d win them over when I signed; Justin shut your mouth you’ll catch flies.”



Rocky burst out laughing even Brian chuckled.  Justin just remained stunned. Brian quipped, “he’s never stayed this quiet before.”



“I know he’s always babbling on about something, I’m very happy when he puts on his music that’s the only time I can get any real work done.  Lately we get in the studio I turn the stereo on first this way he won’t talk and I don’t have to keep looking up at him.”



This time Brian laughed, Justin remained silent and blushed.



The maitre d’ called them to be seated.



The meal was delicious and the three had a very nice time.  Justin couldn’t get over how relaxed Brian was and how charming.  He thought Brian would feel uncomfortable or worse be rude but Brian was being warm and friendly.  Justin could swear that Brian even liked Rocky. Justin almost felt a little pang of jealousy as Rocky and Brian would sign, Justin was still learning so he didn’t quite get all of what they were communicating.



By the end of the evening Brian was sure he had nothing to worry about.  Rocky had no intension of taking away his Justin and Justin was more relaxed than he had been in weeks.



The evening ended early the blonds had class in the morning and Brian a breakfast meeting.



When the boys got home and settled down for the night Justin cuddled close to Brian and Brian wrapped his arms around his blond.  “Here it comes”, thought Brian.



“Brian”



“Yes baby”



“You were so nice to Rocky, thank you”



“No need to thank me Sunshine she’s a very nice young woman.”



“And you’re okay with me sharing the studio with her?”



“Justin are you and she okay?”



“Yeah we had a long talk this afternoon, kinda set me straight about things.  She told me I mistaking the rush of when we create something for love.”



“Perceptive woman; as long as that was the only thing she set you straight on.”



“Brian I’m here and still queer.  I’m sorry I hurt you.”



“Baby as long as you love me I’ll be ok.”



“I love you Bri”



“Me too Sunshine, just one more thing before you show me how much you love me.”



“What’s that Bri?”



“If I’m going to have to smell Rocky on you we must get her better perfume that stuff she wears is going to kill me.”



“I’ll work on it Bri”



For the next couple of hours Justin showed Brian how much he loved him.  The lovers then slept arms and legs entwined, heats beating as one.







Sabina

11/10/03

Justin’s Need



“Brian”



The look in his eyes told me everything.



“Brian hurry”



He has a need right now and it wont wait.



“Brian please”



He’s trying to remove the seat belt but I stop him.



“Brian”



Oh god the way he says my name half whisper half growl I know I’m leaking.



“Bri—ian”



He’s panting breathing so fast if I don’t find a place soon he’ll hyperventilate.



“Uuuhhh”



He’s moaning, I’m trying to calm him rub his thigh lightly with my hand but it’s turning him on more; god I need to find some place to pull over.



“Now Bri now”



Shit he’s going for my cock, I try to swat away his hand but he’s too determined my dick is almost free.  What’s that? Oh thank the gods one of those old billboards, big and bulky hasn’t been used in decades, maybe we can hide behind it.  Hope there’s no cop; yeah; one of the best decisions I ever made to get another jeep; makes off roading a lot easier.



We’re parked; he flies out to get into the back I have to fix my pants first.  By the time I climb in the back he’s half naked and he latches on to my mouth.



“Mmmm kiss me hard”



I grab his face like he loves, me holding his chin in place like a declaration; he moans in my mouth, my cock starts to throb.



“I want you, need you now, need to taste you”



He kisses and sucks his way down my chest ripping open my shirt, shit the buttons are flying, he’s so strong; god he’s biting my nipples, it hurts but I don’t care it’s what he needs.



“Brian make me”



He wants it a little rough, for me to push his head down onto my cock, make him suck me; I don’t have to, he does it whenever wherever he wants but he needs to do it this way now.  So I push.



“Augghh”



He lets out a little scream that fills my brain with lust and desire, impossible but I feel harder; it’s his need.  He’s sucking my cock it’s all in his mouth hitting the back of his throat, oh oh god.



“Hmmm”



He hums around my shaft making me shiver like I’m cold but I’m sweating I feel like I’m in a sauna.  So hot, he’s so hot; god I’m getting close too close, I’m going to…

He stops he doesn’t need me to cum yet; how does he do that?  He’s licking me softly, licking my thighs, my balls and rubbing my belly like he does to calm me.



“I need you inside me”



I hear the condom wrapper tear, we really don’t need it anymore but in the small confines of the jeep it makes things neater plus old habits die hard and we both respond to the sound of the wrapper tearing in the same way with leaking hard ons.  He rolls it down on me.



“Brian fuck me”



He wants it hard, needs it hard; some how he’s open, lubed up for me I didn’t do it he did it some how.  He sits on my lap facing me kissing me then helping me, guiding my dick up his ass. So fast, too fast all the way in; he screams.  I try to stop but he impales himself. His need, he does it to himself I can’t stop him not when he’s like this; it must hurt I know it hurts.  I don’t move I don’t want to hurt him my baby, my angel, my Justin. He’s ready he kisses me again with his tongue down my throat.



“Fuck me!”



He’s fucking himself, bouncing in my lap I meet his thrusts but it’s all him.



“Fuck me harder!”



God he can’t want it need it so hard but he does.  He keeps bouncing up and down on my lap; the sweat pours off of him, his bangs are wet.  He kisses me hard and bites my neck he needs to. He feels so tight, the pain at my neck the pleasure of my cock in his tight ass; I’m dizzy.  I beg him to slow down plead with him to slow down; he finally hears me. My arms are wrapped around his waist and back. His arms have me in a tight grip.  He’s kissing my neck licking the bruise he just made. He starts to rock slowly fucking himself again but slower grinding his cock and balls into me and moaning.



“Oh yes ahhh”



He starts to whisper in my ear and his love washes over me; he needs to love me and his needs are so strong.



“I love you Brian, love you”



After all this time he still loves me, how can he and I know he needs my love.  I’ve been able to say it to him, give him what he needs without feeling torn up inside.  He gives me what I need freely without reservation no hesitation. I was an idiot, jerk, asshole for holding back for so long.  I freely can give him what he needs and more; it’s his whenever wherever he needs it.



“Love you so much Brian”



The tears start in my eyes he can feel them on his neck.  He’s grinding harder his cock is leaking, we’re close so close.



“Brian”



He’s screaming now bouncing harder again the words are babble he’s so close we’re both close.



“Cumming”



We both cum with loud grunts and hold onto each other and try to breathe.  He’s collapsed leaning on me and I hold on, hold him until I slip out; hold him till he’s ready to go home, hold him till he needs something else.



“Justin baby that was incredible you’re incredible”



“Oh thank you Brian I so needed that”





Sabina

11/17/03

Brian’s Need


Brian woke up with a smile in his arms was his beautiful blond.  Justin had come home the previous evening from a new show that opened in Denver.  Brian had missed waking up, sleeping, working and everything else with his lover. Brian watched the still sleeping man who lay snuggled against him and breathed in.  He loved inhaling the scent that brought him life, purpose and a very hard need.

“Baby wake up”

“Mmmm hey”

“Hey Baby I missed you”

“Missed you too; you know I asked you to come with me”

“I know Baby and I was all prepared to meet you there but who knew the fuck up twins would get a virus, then practically everyone else got it, up until 3 days ago it was me, Cynthia and one intern”

“Shit, I didn’t realize it got that bad”

“Yeah by the time everyone got back to work you were ready to come home”

“I’m sorry Bri you should have told me I would have come back earlier”
”No you needed to be there besides if you came back who knows you might have gotten it too; as it is I’m a little worried about Cynthia she was looking a little green yesterday”

“What about you?”

“I’m ok so far”
”Brian did you hide in your office all the time?”
---giggling---“Yeah and with that special filter on all the time too, hey if I got sick then we’d all be in trouble”
”Oh Brian you’re so bad”



“Baby”

“Uh huh”

“I want you, you make me so hard”

“Brian you’re always hard”

“Touch me”

“Oh god you’re sooo…moan”
”Baby I need you now”

---whimpering---

“Please Baby now”
”Uh huh”



Brian reached under the pillow fumbling for the lube…



“Forget it”

“Huh?”

“Forget it”

“But”



Justin stuck three of his fingers in his mouth and started to suck on them.  Brian watched as Justin’s fingers disappeared wrapped within his full lips. Brian growled out an “oh fuck” and his cock started to leak.  Justin spread his legs allowing Brian’s leaking cock to slip between them he then moved his own cock and balls out of the way and gently bucked his hips to rub the head against his quivering hole.  Brian groaned as he watched his lover still sucking on his fingers then again as Justin used his own spit and Brian’s precum to lube himself up. When ready Justin grabbed Brian’s cock and directed it into his ass.  Brian screamed out again but Justin couldn’t hear he could only hear his own beating heart pounding within his ears then he felt the momentary twinge of pain as Brian’s cock demanded entrance. Justin forced himself to relax and took all of Brian in.



Brian made love to Justin hard and deep.  Justin met every thrust with one of his own.  Reaching up Justin grabbed onto Brian’s neck to draw him in for a kiss and moaned into his lover’s mouth.  Brian devoured Justin’s lips kissing sucking so hard making them red and swollen. Brian released his lover’s lips and whispered into Justin’s ear…



“I love you, want you so bad, need to take you hard”



Justin groaned as he listened to Brian’s pleas and felt the butterflies well up in his abdomen; his own cock started to leak and twitch…



“Take me Brian take me hard”



Brian raised himself up, grabbed Justin’s legs that were wrapped around his waist and threw them over his shoulders.  He then grabbed Justin’s hands and laced his fingers with his lover’s pinning Justin to the mattress. Brian fucked.

With each slam Justin screamed out demanding it harder.  Brian saw the precum bubbling freely from Justin’s cock and heard the babble that he had missed over the past three weeks.  Justin’s eyes glazed over and Brian knew they were both very close. He fought hard to keep up the rhythm as he watched Justin’s slit open to release its pearly white treasure.  Then Brian came filling Justin’s hole to the brink.

Brian let go of Justin’s hands and gently lowered his legs.  Knowing that Justin hated when Brian withdrew too fast he stayed until his softened cock slipped out.

The lovers lay cuddled together.



“Bri that was intense”

“Mmm intense”

“Missed you”

“Missed you too”

“Justin you busy for the next few days?”

“Don’t think so why?”

“Well if everything is stable at the office can we stay in bed?”
“You mean literally stay in bed?”
“Uh huh I need you”

“Oh yeah!”

“Good”



After a few phone calls to make sure Cynthia and the office was okay Brian turned his attention back to the blond bundle in his bed.  As he crawled back into bed…



“Justin you know I need you”

“Yes Brian I know”

“And it’s not just sex”



Justin saw the look in Brian’s face and knew what he was talking about.  The sex between them was always exciting but their relationship had grown far beyond that, Brian’s need was far more than the physical.



---after a while---



“Baby”

“Hmmm?”
Am I too old for this?”
“This what, what are you talking about?”


Brian absentmindedly swiped the hair away from Justin’s face and drew him close putting Justin in that spot on his chest so he could hold and caress him.  Justin felt the vulnerability emanating from Brian. Knowing his lover wouldn’t say much more without Justin prodding him Justin ventured…



“Brian do you mean are you too old for sex?”

“Yeah”

“You mean cause we don’t do it more than four times a day or in every backroom or bathroom we happen to be near?”

“Yeah”

“Oh Brian that’s silly”

“See I am too old, why are you still with me you’re so young and beautiful”

“Brian ya know you’re such an asshole sometimes a big ole drama queen”

“Humph, respect your elders”

“Then respect me”

“Huh?”

“Brian it was never just about the sex and you know that, after all we’ve been through how can you say that, ask me that, I love you; I’ve always loved you from the moment I saw you looking at me under the light; this is pride your vanity talking; do you really think so little of me, you think that I’m that shallow”

“Justin I…”

“Brian your not old you’re still the hottest stud on Liberty Ave.”



Brian raised an eyebrow at what Justin said and Justin giggled.  He didn’t have to see Brian’s face to know what his lover did he just knew.  Justin shifted to look up into the gorgeous face and stared into the hazel eyes that with time have never lost their intensity…



“Brian I’ll love you when you’re a 100, now fuck me old man”



Brian laughed at the thought of fucking at 100 and rolled his lover onto his stomach.



---after loving---



“You feel better?”

“Yeah a little”

“A little, shit Bri you keep fucking me like that and I’ll have to stay in bed I wont be able to walk”

---giggle---

“Bri I got you something”

“Baby you know I told you not to”

“I know but when have I ever did exactly what you told me to do”

“---sigh---Ok Brat bring it on”

“Here asshole”



Brian opened the small box and took out the gold chain, on the end of the chain hung a single cowry shell, carved into the shell was a Claddagh symbol like the rings they wore…



“You know Brian I kinda missed that bracelet it was a part of you but I knew why you threw it away”

“Yeah”

“I always associated you with the shells the hard outside protecting the soft inside”

“Baby I”

“Shhh I love you Bri”

“Love you Baby”

“Happy birthday Bri”

---groan---

“Stop it, it’s a good birthday”

“No it isn’t I’m fuckin’ old”

“No you’re not”

“Yes I am”

“Come here”

“What”



Justin made Brian get out of bed and brought him over to the full length mirror…



“Look”

“Yeah?”

“What do you see?”

“A beautiful blond twink hanging onto a skinny old man”

“Wrong answer” as Justin backhanded him and Brian feigned the punch…

“Look again”  Brian looked and saw himself as Justin saw him tall,  lean still with taut muscles and a full head of hair, a little gray at the temples but still gorgeous.  His hand went to touch the gray…



“Bri I’m glad you decided not to dye it I love the way it looks on you”

“Humph, still have a thing for older men do ya?”

“Yup”

“Well I certainly fit the bill”

“Yes you do” as Justin turned Brian around to hug his old man…

“You fit me, now back to bed old man I gotta a lot of loving to make up for---purr”

“Brat”

“Happy 60th asshole”



With a rise of Brian’s eyebrow and the rise of his cock the lovers went back to bed.


Sabina

11/27/03

SCARED

---cell phone ringing---

“Justin?”

“Hey Brian”

“Hey”

“What’s wrong Bri?”

“Needed to hear your voice”

“You okay?”

“Yeah”

“Bri”

“No I’m not Justin I needed to hear you”

“What’s wrong, did something happen?”

“Yeah”

“What baby you can tell me”

“I”

“A trick”

“Yeah, no I mean, almost”

“Brian I love you”

“Sigh…why?”

“Because I do and I don’t care about the tricks”

“That’s what you say but, how?”

“Because I love you; you want me and you’ll come home to me”

“I want to come home now”

“Are your meetings over?”

“Not yet two more days”

“Then you’ll come home in two days”

“Justin I miss you”

“I miss you too”

“Justin can you come here, I know I’ll be busy for most of the day but I need you with me, please I’m scared”

“Don’t be scared”

“I don’t know what it is, why am I scared”

“Because you’re far from home in a strange city and there are a lot of hot guys who want you”

“But why can’t I say no”

“Brian did you say yes?”

“No”

“So you did say no”

“Uh huh but I was so close to saying yes”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Cause he wasn’t you but I wanted to Justin, I feel so lonely without you, I’m a bad person”

“Brian no you’re not I’d still love you even if you said yes; nothing will ever change that, I promise”

“Baby I’m sorry if I disappointed you”

“No Brian you didn’t disappoint me I love you I will always love; you feel better?”

“Uh huh”

“Brian”

“Yeah baby”

“Open the door”

“Huh?”

“Open the door”

---hotel door opening---

“Justin!”

“Hey”

“Hey, how, why”

“Cause I was scared”

“Love you baby”

“Love you Bri”

---hotel door closes and locks---

‘Do Not Disturb’ sign swinging on the outside handle.

Incense



I’ve learned from our years together the ‘holidays’ and playtimes there are certain scents he loves and some he hates; or if too strong makes him sneeze till he’s so uncomfortable that the romantic mood is over before it starts.  As I said I’ve learned.

So when I want to spice things up I choose the spice with his delicate nose in mind.

For me it makes no difference his scent is the only one I need.  If I could find a way of creating ‘Justin incense’ I would. I’d have it my car, in my office, at the gym, maybe not I don’t want to share; and for here especially when he’s at the studio creating some wonderful masterpiece.

Sometimes I don’t see him for days and I miss that scent.  But tonight he’ll be home. He’s finished with the piece tomorrow it’ll be on its way to wherever to whomever.  So tonight I light the candles and burn the incense.

I have his favorite wine breathing and his favorite foods all prepared.  And I wait, not for long because he called. Just a few more minutes and the best scent in the world will be right under my nose, on my hands, my mouth and any other body part I can get it on.  His scent, Justin’s scent; it’s my air my blood, I never want to be without it.

One thing I know I got the incense right; a little vanilla, a little cinnamon and raspberry.  We tried orange once big mistake. It made him sneeze for days poor baby. He had to stay at Daph’s until it finally faded.  The whole loft had to be cleaned including our clothes, curtains, rugs, linens, everything. So no orange.

But he likes vanilla, vanilla oil, vanilla ice cream, vanilla kisses.   Yeah he loves vanilla. Luckily I have some in the freezer just for him.

I hear the elevator…

“Hey”

“Hey baby”

“I missed you Brian”

“Missed you too baby; are you home for a while?”

“Uh huh weeks before my next project; you?”

“Yup no impossible ad campaign for now, next week we start research on a new one.”

“The loft smells nice I love it when you do this”

“I love you baby come here sit with me, want a shower?”

“Yeah but in a minute want to cuddle”

“Sit on my lap, there, better?”

“Uh huh …Bri?”

“What baby?”

“Will it ever get easier?”

“You mean the work, yours and mine?”

“Yeah”

“Don’t think so; when you love something or someone so much it’s always hard work you know that.”

“Yeah, love you Bri---yawn”

“Love you baby”

snore

So I let him sleep snuggled into my shoulder then tuck him into bed.  I’ll re-cork the wine put away the food till he’s ready. But I’ll keep the incense burning for a while; just the vanilla it reminds me of him.

I watch him sleep then curl next to him to breathe in his scent; the best incense in my world.





Sabina

11/13/03

Come Home To Me



Today he had to get out of the office.  Normally he would have called out for lunch but today he felt like he was suffocating.  Suffocated by his office, his suit, by Cynthia, his partner, his lover. No not really his lover but with working so closely and living together well sometimes he purposely fell asleep on the sofa.



Today he needed air so he went to a small café close to the office taking a seat near the window.  While picking on his salad he looked up and saw someone familiar looking back. A smile crossed his face and the other man smiled back.  He looked down at his salad hoping the man would walk away but when he looked up he was still there smiling. He got up, paid the check, and walked out.  He was surprised that the man greeted him with warmth recalling the past bad feelings. When they hugged and their lips lightly brushed together a familiar spark ran through both men.  Silently he was lead away back to the man’s apartment.



He didn’t want to be there but he was almost powerless to leave.  He gazed into the warm brown eyes saw and felt desire; they kissed.  In the privacy of the apartment the kiss was long and deep. He ached to be touched and to touch.  He and his lover hadn’t made love in weeks. Oh they fucked, fooled around in the shower but no real lovemaking.  He wasn’t even sure if he missed it. They were both so tired working hard at making the agency a success, thinking they were making a success of their relationship.  But maybe they were wrong. He didn’t know how to fix it or if it could be fixed and he felt too tired to try.



So now he’s here in a strange apartment taking off his clothes, removing the clothes off a former lover, and wishing he wasn’t.



He felt the man’s fingers glide over his skin warm and soft except for the calluses and he sighed.  He closed his eyes and moaned, his cock twitched as the warm mouth engulfed it. He moaned again as the skillful tongue worked its magic.



Magic, that’s what he and his lover have, had, magic.  Always magic every time they fucked or made love it was magic.  Now was the magic gone, he didn’t know. They survived so much together could they survive this.



His need to cum brought him back to the present.  He signaled for the man to arise and they moved to the bed.  The man tried to maneuver him on to his stomach, “sorry”, he said as he flipped them both over and he reached for a condom and the lube.  Right now he didn’t want to think just feel as he prepared the man lying face down on the bed.



Gently he pushed his way in both men gasping and grunting.  This time was going to be short both so aroused they both came quickly.  They lay together for sometime to recover and then made love again and again all afternoon and for most of the night.



It was well after midnight when he finally got out of bed for the last time.  His former lover looking up at him well fucked but knowing it would never happen again.  He got dressed and left.



He checked his cell phone as he walked back to the office.  Shit, 9 messages, 3 from Cynthia the rest from his lover. He erased all but the last.  “Come home to me”, that’s all he heard, “please come home to me”.



He got to his office and picked up the phone then let it drop.  He cried he fucked up and he couldn’t go home. Not ever. He replayed his voice mail again, “come home to me”.  Again he picked up the phone, the call was answered on the first ring.

“Come home to me”

“I can’t”

“Yes you can”

“No I fucked up”

“It doesn’t matter I love you please come home to me”

---they were both crying---

“I can’t oh god I’m sorry I can’t I…”

“I love you it doesn’t matter come home we can fix it, there’s still time only you’ve got to come home to me”



He was sobbing now but through the sobs he heard his lover repeat, “come home to me”.  “Okay” He heard a long sigh from the other end of the phone and then, “ the car’s in the garage hurry home”.  “Okay”



He didn’t hurry; he drove home slowly and deliberate, afraid to drive any faster.  He parked in their usual spot and let himself into the building. Slowly he ascended the stairs.  Each step got harder his legs felt like lead. As he approached the loft door he started to shake.  He slid the heavy door open. His lover was there waiting, watching. He turned, closed the door and locked it.



At the simple gesture of locking the door behind him Brian let out a sigh.  It meant that Justin was not going to run some how they would work it out. Brian slowly approached Justin.



“Don’t touch me!”
“I love you Justin”

“Brian don’t come any closer I smell like him, he’s all over me please don’t touch me!”



Justin started to sob then collapsed at the foot of the door.  Brian was at his side in seconds taken by his long legs. He drew Justin close and held him tight.  Justin continued to scream and cry.



“Don’t touch me, don’t touch me oh god what have I done”



In between the sobs Brian heard Justin repeat, “oh god oh god I’m sorry”.  Brian cooed softly in his lover’s ear, “I love you I love you Justin” Brian helped his lover up off the floor and then picked him up.



Justin kept begging to be put down but made no struggle.  Brian brought him into the bathroom and like he did so often in the past sat Justin on the counter.



“Brian please I’m sorry”

“Shhh its okay Justin”



Brian turned on the shower and stripped off his own clothes.  As he threw his clothes on the floor he asked…



“Justin do you love me?”

“Yes Brian I love you”

“That’s all that matters”



Brian helped Justin remove his clothes.



“Burn them”

“No Justin they’re only clothes a covering they mean nothing”



To emphasize the words he threw Justin’s clothes on top of his own.  Brian lifted Justin off the counter so that he could remove his pants and underwear then threw them on to the pile as he guided his lover into the warm shower.



“Brian wash him off of me, please Bri”

“I will Baby we’ll wash each other clean and start all over…I’m sorry Baby I should have never let it go this far I should have stopped it”

“Brian I fucked up not you why are you sorry?”
”No Baby we both did, what happened tonight was the result of my own ignorance and stupidity”

“I don’t understand”

“I’m so used to working all the time but you’re different I don’t want you to become like me one of me is enough; our difference are what makes us work you started to become so wrapped up in the agency you forgot to do the things that are important to you”



Justin started to cry again but his heart felt a little lighter Brian’s words were starting to sink in.



They stayed in the shower until the water ran cold.  Brian guided Justin out gently toweled him off and wrapped him in a robe.  Brian again picked up his lover and brought him to bed. Justin hung on to Brian’s neck afraid to let go.  Brian again cooed his words of love into Justin’s ear and held him close.



“Justin let me make love to you”

“You still want me?”

“Yes Justin I love you”

“Oh yes Brian yes”



Brian kissed Justin wanting to take things slow but it felt so long ago that the two had made love their need was too strong.



“Justin I want to go slow but I…”

“Brian hurry do it I need you inside me”



The lovers first needed to feel each other hard and fast then they would take it slow.  They kissed passionately and let their hands roam about each other as if they were feeling, touching each other for the first time.  Justin lying under Brian spread his legs urging Brian to penetrate him. Brian reached for a condom and lube to prepare himself and Justin.  Justin wrapped his legs around Brian and raised his hips; Brian eased his way in. Brian started to thrust when he knew Justin was ready. They made love to each other Brian pounding down while Justin thrusted upwards.  The two came hard together screaming out each other’s name.



Brian collapsed onto Justin and Justin continued to hang on to Brian’s neck.  The lovers remained physically connected throughout the night neither partner wanting to let go afraid to let go.  Brian would recover and then made love again and again. By morning each man was spent. Justin lay in his spot on Brian’s chest and Brian’s arms were wrapped tightly about him.



Even though the lovers had little sleep they awoke early.  Brian turned off the alarm and got out of bed. Justin watched his lover afraid to speak, afraid to breathe, he just watched.  Brian turned on his computer and emailed Cynthia he and Justin will be away from the office for the next few days. They’ll be reachable by phone and Brian would email any instructions necessary.  He planned on calling Cynthia a little later. When done he switched off the screen; Justin watched Brian silently pad from his desk to the kitchen to get a couple of bottles of water and then return to bed.  Handing a bottle to Justin he asked…



“Can you talk about it?”

“I don’t know”

“Please try”



Justin took a sip of water then continued…



“I felt like I was suffocating, I had to get out of the office, I couldn’t breathe; Brian I swear I didn’t go looking for it he was just standing there looking so pretty and inviting I just went with him; I’m so sorry”

“Justin I’m no saint I’ve done my fair share of fuck ups”

“But nothing like this”

“Justin a fuck up is a fuck up but I do have to ask did you do it raw?”
“No”



Brian let out a little sigh then asked what he really wanted, needed to know.  In a soft whisper he asked…



“Baby did you bottom for him?”

“No Brian I only bottom for you”



Brian let out the breath he was holding then pulled Justin up making him higher on the bed so now it was Brian’s head resting on Justin’s chest.  “Thank you Baby” Then Brian buried his face into Justin’s chest and cried. Justin held his sobbing lover as Brian’s sobs wracked his body. No words were needed; Justin’s tears silently flowed down his face.  The lovers drifted back to sleep exhausted from the crying.



A few hours later the phone woke the lovers, Brian was first to reach it.



“Hi Cynthia; good; you understand, we need a few days; yes he’s alright; thank you; I know you can look after things; yes I’m sure you’re as good as we are; I will; see you in a few days; bye…Cynthia sends her love”

“Uh huh”

“Come on we stink let’s go shower”

---later---

“Brian what did you mean see you in a few days?”

“Just what you think I mean, we need a break, we have nothing pressing and you heard me Cynthia’s been in the business almost as long as long as I have she can handle things for a few days, she’s a very formidable woman you know”

“I’ve noticed”

“Well she can be in charge for a while you and I need some quiet time together…Baby?

“Yes Bri”

“When was the last time you did some studio time?”

“I don’t know”

“Make me a deal”

“What?”
“Go to the studio at the very least three days a week more if you can”
“ Ok Bri, wait what do you get out of this?”
“I get my bossy partner out of my hair for a few days, I get to yell at the fuck up twins whenever I want without you protecting them and I get my beautiful twink back, that’s what I get out of this”

“Brian that’s awful!”
”No…you turning into me is awful I almost lost you and I told you once before I’d never survive without you, you’re my life; I know that sounds selfish but its how I feel and I will do anything to make sure you’re happy and stay with me”

“Oh Brian---sniffle”

“No more tears Baby at least not for today, come on lets go get something to eat I don’t think Debbie remembers what we look like”

“---giggling---ok Bri”



Over the next few weeks Justin started to feel better.  The few days Brian had promised them turned into a week most of it spent in bed making love.  Justin began to learn how to balance his time at the agency with his studio time. With his creative spark re-ignited his work at the office became inspiring and his sketches and paintings mind blowing.  Brian was right and his reward was that his beautiful twink was back in full force.



The magic was back too better than ever.  Date night took on a whole new meaning. On Friday night wherever Justin was working a single blue rose would be delivered to him with an invitation to the movies, dinner, Babylon anything but remaining at the office or home alone.  The weekends became special again there was a third party who was starting to miss his daddies; the lovers started to spend more time with Gus.



Months went by and Justin realized just how successful the two were; the lovers were happy and content.  But as always there were a few bumps in the road. Brian was in the process of landing a large clothing store account and he was in full ad exec mode.  Even with the help and resources of the whole agency Brian still wound up working late into the night.



The night before the presentation around 11pm Brian was finishing up.  He was finally satisfied with the results. He grabbed his briefcase and headed for the door.  He was feeling slight twinges of guilt. He had become all but consumed with his work on this new ad and thought he had neglected Justin but Justin never complained.  As Brian got into the car he felt his cell vibrate in his pocket. Smiling he answered…



“Hey”

“Hey”

“Brian”

“What Baby”
”Come home to me”

“I’m on my way…Baby?”
“Yes Bri”

“You are my home”
”Oh Brian”















Sabina

11/25/03

Brian’s Replacement



“Brian the alarm (5:30am)”

“Oh god I just fell asleep”

“Bri what time did you get home?”

“About midnight”

“When did you come to bed?”

“I don’t know 2:30-3 I think”

“Oh baby why?”

“Big campaign, had to fix what the fuck up twins did”

“Brian you can’t keep doing this”

“moan”

“Bri”

“Huh”

“Stay in bed I’ll go in for you”

“No Justin I’ll get up”

“No stay I’ll look over your notes I can do this Cynthia will help me”

“No I can”

“No you can’t stay, sleep that’s an order”

“Bossy bottom”

“Asshole; sleep I’ll call if I have a problem”

“Ok promise you’ll call”

“Yes I promise, sleep now”

“Sleeping now”

---Justin gets up, turns off the phone, puts Brian cell on the dresser for him, showers, eats breakfast, chooses a suit to mimic Brian, picks up Brian’s briefcase and heads for the office---



“Hi Cynthia”

“Morning Justin”

“Cynthia I’m going to have to fire you”

“What?!”

“What time did you leave here last night?”

“Uh about 10pm”

“Well Brian didn’t get home until midnight”

“Shit that asshole promised me…”

“You know him”

“He swore he was going to leave right after me”

“He didn’t and then he spent another two hours on his laptop”

“Shit”

“He’s lost weight and he’s exhausted I left him sleeping”

“He didn’t argue with you?”

“He tried but he’s too tired to argue”

“I’m sorry Justin you know I would do anything for him and you, I love working with you guys”

“I know Cyn I guess we’re both going to have to take better care of him”

“Yeah you’re right but aren’t you back in school?”

“Cynthia it’s grad school I don’t have to do all at once I can spend more time here and at the studio.  It was Brian’s suggestion that I devote most of my time in school”

“Well you know him”

“Yeah too well”

---collective sigh---

“So what’s on the calendar?”

“He’s got a 9am but I can reschedule that for tomorrow”

“No why don’t you reschedule for later this afternoon I don’t want a backlog.  When’s the big one, what’s the big one?

“The Sampson campaign that’s what we were working on last night”

“Don’t I know that one?

“Yes you worked on the Phase 1 of the campaign this is Phase 2”

“Okay at least I know the art work”

“Yes Brian was trying to expand on what you did”

“Ok I can do that”

“But old man Sampson only deals with Brian”

“Well today I’m Brian, lets go in his office and set up”

“Okay”

“How much time do we have?”

“Until 1pm it’s a lunch meeting”

“Good that gives us close to 5 hours, then I have time for the other meeting”

“Did he have anything else scheduled for today?”

“No only those two”

“Good lets get started”

---setting up in Brian’s office---

“Cynthia where’s his notes?”
“He emails them to himself when he works at home”

“Shit his email is password protected”

“I can call him”

“No wait I turned off the phone only his cell is on just in case, no let’s see if we can figure this out”

“Shit I should have made him give me his password a long time ago”

“Well you know how private he is Cyn, I don’t have it either”

“Well if we can’t get in what are we going to do?”

“Let’s see…his birthday?”

---rejected---

“My birthday?”

---rejected---

“Wait I think…”

“Yeah try it”

Sunsh…

“Yee haw/Yeah!”

---both laughing---

“Oh my god look at all of this”

“This is new he must have done this last night”

“Oh Cynthia…sniffle…he works way too hard”

“Yeah I always knew that but I forget he’s only human”

“Yeah the great Brian fuckin’ Kinney, we really need to help out more”

“You’re right Justin”

“Okay let me get through this; can you get me some coffee?

“Coming right up boss anything else?”

“Yeah call the fuck up twins and get them in here, then call the Art Dept. I want to see all the boards, I’ll go down there when I’m done reaming the twins”

“You got it boss; Justin?”

“Yeah?”

“You sound a little like him”

“Thanks Cyn now lets see if I can pull this off like him-grin”

“If anyone can its you-smile”

“COFFEE!”

“Right away boss”



---Brad/Bob come into the office---

“Justin what are you doing here?”

“Yeah we expected Brian”

“I’m Brian for today”

“Well that’s good”

“Yeah you’re way more reasonable”

“Don’t count on it; now tell me your ideas for Phase 2 of Sampson”

“Well…”



“Shit that sucks”

“Huh?”

“Why do you guys do that?”

“Well we thought that’s what he wanted”

“Uh huh and what do you want?”

“What?”

“Tell me what you really thought about this, an honest opinion”

“Well we guess uh…”



“Now that’s good”

“Huh?”

“I knew there was a real reason why Brian hired you guys away from Vangard”

“We thought it was cuz he needs someone to yell at and berate all the time”

“That may have had something to do with it-smirk; but he probably saw potential in you guys and he’s waiting until you guys grow balls”

“What?”

“You heard me.  Brian respects strength of conviction and opinions even if it doesn’t agree with what he has in mind.  If you challenge him and not let him walk all over you he may yell but he wouldn’t berate you”

“We didn’t think”

“No you didn’t; speak up for yourselves you’ll see; why do you think he and Cynthia get a long, she doesn’t stand for his shit and neither do I; that’s why this works.  Now let’s go down to the Art Dept. and see what this looks like; come on”

“Whatever you say Justin”

“That’s right whatever I say”

---in the Art Dept.---

“Hey guys”

“Hey Justin; where’s Brian?  Yeah we expected him hours ago; yeah we thought it was kinda quiet around here---laughing”

“Guys!”

“Oh oh”

“That’s right I’m Brian today now show me Phase 2”

“Uh huh”

“NOW!”

---people scurrying, setting up---

“Eiw; okay let’s fix this”

---a couple of hours later---

“I like it, this is good”

“You’re a genius Justin”

“No Brian’s the genius I just translated his notes; now set this up in the main conference room”

“Okay Boss”

---more scurrying---



“Justin”

“Yeah Cynthia”

“The caterers are here I’m having them set up”

“Good, did you see the boards?”

“Yup they look great; I think you did it”

“I think so too I hope old man Sampson can get over the fact that Brian’s not here and accept Phase 2 from me”

“I think he will he loved the original art work and I don’t think he knew you did them”

“That’s good to know I can use that”

---a little later---

“Justin its time”

“Yeah-showtime!”



“Mr. Sampson I’m Justin Taylor Brian’s partner it’s very nice to meet you”

“Where’s Kinney?”

“He’s out today I’ll be showing you Phase 2”

“Does Kinney really think he’s too good to show up today and he sends his flunky?”

“Mr. Sampson –{in a very Brian Kinney tone of voice}-that’s uncalled for; if you must know Brian’s been working on this on stop for weeks.  These are his ideas and I did the original art work for Phase1”

“You, you’re a kid”

“No I’m not; now I know you met Brian a long time ago didn’t you”

“Yes he was just starting, an intern”

“Well I was his intern and I’m his partner and I’m the same age he was when he became an exec at Ryder”

“You look so young”

“Well looks can be deceiving, now lets have some lunch and look over the boards; I’m sure you’ll be pleased”

---sitting down---

“Interned for Kinney huh, well if you’re half as good as he is maybe we’ll have a deal”

“I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised”

---an hour later---

Well Mr. Taylor”

“Justin”

“Justin you were right this is exactly what I had in mind you and Kinney make a great team”

“I always thought so, why don’t we go into Brian’s office and finalize things”

“Very good”

--in Brian’s office---

“Cynthia can you bring me the Sampson contract”

“Sure thing Justin”

“Well Mr. Sampson is that agreeable to you?”

“Yes very agreeable Justin, I’ll let my legal look it over then fax it back later today”

“Very good”

“Hmmm these sketches”---looking around the office

“Yes?”

“Just wonderful”

“Thank you”

“Hold on a second, Justin Taylor, I went to a gallery not too long ago there were some paintings and sculptures, I recall a large nude of Brian”

---blush---

“You’re the same Justin Taylor”

“Yes sir that’s me”

“Hmmm-picking up a framed picture of Justin off of Brian’s desk-partner huh?”

“Yes sir, partner in all sense of the word”

“Well young man I’ve worked with Kinney for a long time, he’s was always a bit of an …”

“Asshole…well yeah but you didn’t hear that from me”

---chuckling---

“But he’s the best in the business, honest, up front I respect that; that’s why I moved my account to his agency when he left Vangard; I’ve also noticed a subtle change in him lately, oh he’s still all business but some thing else, a bit more…”

“Human?”

“That’s it; I guess you may have had something to do with that”

“I’d like to think so”

“Well Justin you have my continued business and any other I can steer in your direction”

“Thank you Mr. Sampson, Brian will be very happy to hear that; it was very good meeting and working with you”

“Same here Justin, give Kinney my regards”

“Will do goodbye sir”

“Goodbye”

---peering out the door and whispering---

“Cynthia?”

“Yes Justin”

“Is he gone?”

“Yes and with a very happy smile on his face”

---loudly---“YEE HAW!”

“You did it Justin”

“No we did it”

“Come on call the twins call the whole agency tonight we celebrate”

“Yee haw”

---giggle---



---later that night---

“Hey”

“Hey”

“How’d it go with Sampson?”

“All signed sealed and delivered, he loved your ideas”

“And the art boards?”

“Well after the twins and I fixed them they were perfect”

“You let the fuck up duo help you?”

“Bri you know they’re not that bad when you give them a chance; I think you’ll be surprised when you go back to work”

“Ughh I can just imagine; so now they’re going to give me lip”

“Yup”

“Shit let a kid do a man’s work and this is what I get”

“Brian”

“I know, I know just teasing, I’m very proud of you”

“You are?”

“Of course I am I knew you could do it, I’m sorry that I didn’t ask for your help sooner”

“Well now you have no choice cuz I’m going to be there more often”

“Are you now”

“Yes I am and you’re going to need my help if old man Sampson has anything to do with it, he’s spreading the word about your agency as we speak”

“Our agency”

“Our agency”

“Well partner I guess I can be replaced”

“No Brian never replaced just mmm enhanced”

“And I take it you’re the enhancement”

“Yup a long with Cynthia and the twins”

“So I guess they deserve a raise”

---looking down at Brian’s crotch---

“Just as long as its not that raise”-grinning

“Well Sunshine I’m all rested and I actually ate something, are you too tired for a ‘raise’?”

“Never too tired for that kind of raise”

---both running to the bedroom---







Sabina

11/23/03

Babylon Top and Bottom



He got to Babylon late, some last minute details that he didn’t want to leave until Monday.  He stood on the catwalk watching the crowd, the hot sweating men dancing to the thumpa music.  He scanned the dance floor looking for his lover and the gang.



He spotted Emmett right away, hard to miss in the tight bright neon green tank and teal pants leaning against the bar with Ted looking mortified as if the green tank would consume him in flames.

Mikey and Ben were there; and Mikey was looking pissed, so what else is new.  He followed Mikey’s gaze and saw his lover in the center of the dance floor putting on a show with a young pretty redheaded twink.  The twink looked like he had died and had gone to Babylon heaven. He was dancing with one of the infamous Kings of Babylon and anyone could see that he was hoping for a trip to the backroom.



His lover was dancing close to the twink but not touching.  He looked gorgeous, poured into the leather pants he was wearing.  All his attributes were well defined and on display; there wasn’t a soft cock within a 100 feet.  He chuckled to himself, he knew his lover was just exerting a bit of his stubborn defiance. He didn’t mind they were men for fuck’s sake, beautiful gay men.  He’d do it too on occasion; he and his lover had this understanding.



After a while the twink got up the nerve to dance closer and tried to touch the leather clad ass.  His lover gazed up and shot the twink a warning glare, ‘look but don’t touch’ it said. The twink was understandably disappointed but shrugged it off thinking it was just to soon to stake a claim.  He continued to watch his lover and the twink. The pale hand of the redhead again made a reach for the leathered ass but this time his lover had had enough. His lover’s eyes narrowed the angry glare was more than threatening, the redhead visibly shaken backed off.  It was time to intervene.



He flew down the stairs and twisted his way through the glistening bodies to get to his lover.  He tapped his shoulder.



For a split second Justin was treated to that same angry glare until Brian saw his sweet face looking up at him.  The tall gorgeous man with the hazel eyes smiled brightly and Justin immediately leapt into his arms. Wrapping his legs around the slim waist Justin leaned down for a kiss.  The redheaded twink whimpered as he danced away, he never stood a chance. The lovers stood in the middle of the dance floor making their declaration for each other…



‘Missed you Baby”

“Missed you too Bri”


Brian nibbled Justin’s ear and murmured…


“Want you”



Justin in a breathy purr answered…

“Hurry Brian hurry”



Justin released his legs expecting his feet to touch the ground but instead he felt himself propelled upward and over Brian’s shoulder.  With a hard smack to his cargo covered ass that would have echoed off the walls if not for the music the older king carried his young one towards the backroom.  Those who witnessed the sight cheered, clapped and whistled as the blond was whisked away by his lover.



As they approached the doorway Brian put Justin down.  Justin reached up and pulled Brian by the nape of his neck for a long deep kiss.  Brian was a bit more than breathless when finally released and then found himself being dragged by his belt loops into the backroom.



Making their way through the labyrinth the lovers found a spot as isolated as possible.  Brian could sense, feel the need in Justin to be the aggressor but he knew Justin wouldn’t do it in the backroom of Babylon so Brian immediately attacked the boy.  He devoured the full ruby lips worked his way down the pale chest to his boy’s sweet full cock. He brought Justin off within minutes. Climbing back up to Justin’s lips Brian kissed him giving Justin a little taste.  Brian growled into Justin’s ear, “do me”. Justin dropped to his knees and tore at Brian’s zipper to release his prize. Justin inhaled deeply breathing in a heady mixture of Brian’s scent and leather. Justin wanted to take his time but in his lust filled haze he heard Brian, “fast Baby, need to take us home”.  Justin understood Brian wanted to be in their bed but knew they’d never make it in the state they were both in so Justin made short work of Brian. After a moments recovery the lovers kissed before heading for the door.



Brian got them home in record time and in a well rehearsed dance they performed so often they raced up the stairs.  Brian unlocked the door, opened it, Justin slid it shut and locked it while Brian set the alarm. All along the two remained in a lip lock and stripped off each other’s clothes.  They were naked by the time they reached their bed.



Brian watched as Justin climbed into the bed and knew by his demeanor that he was in for a long hard ride.  Justin knew by the smirk on Brian’s face that he would get no objection. Brian got into bed clutching a pillow then he laid on his belly with his ass positioned perfectly for Justin.  By dawn the lovers were sated and fast asleep.



It was late afternoon when the lovers finally awoke to perform their ‘morning rituals’.



Justin kept giggling to himself as he prepared something for the two to eat.  Brian was wearing the well fucked look that was usually reserved for Justin as well as sweatpants.  Justin stifled his laughter as Brian tried to sit at the table when Justin was ready to serve up the meal.  As soon as Brian’s butt hit the chair he stood up quickly knocking over the chair. After he regained his composure and righting the chair Brian nonchalantly strolled to the sofa and gingerly settled his behind onto the soft cushions.  Justin said nothing his twinges of guilt were overshadowed by his own self satisfaction. The blond boy ass almost broke the stud of Liberty Ave. Silently Justin served up the meal to his stud.



The lovers enjoyed the lazy afternoon.  Justin enjoyed watching Brian walk or try to walk without saying ‘ow’ or rubbing his still smarting ass.  Not quite the proficient bottom as Justin is Brian’s recovery took a little time and Brian’s usual swagger was on a temporary hold.  By the time the lovers were dressing for Babylon that night Brian was back to his old sardonic self, complete with his graceful saunter.



As Justin was fishing for a pair of his favorite jeans Brian got into his face saying, “oh no”.  Justin’s blues quizzingly looked up into the hazel that sparkled and watched a leer draw across Brian’s face.  In Brian’s hand was Justin’s leather pants, “it’s your turn”. Justin smiled sweetly as he abandoned his jeans and took the offered leather pants.  Brian licked his lips as he watched his most beloved bubble butt squeeze into the tight leather.



As they headed out the door both men wore a silly grin and lustfully thinking similar thoughts…



“He’s/I’m so fucked!”









Sabina

11/29/03

Justin I Love You



Justin was away visiting relatives with his Mom and Molly in New York.  He was only going to be away for a week but it was a week too long as far as Brian was concerned.



Cynthia observed that Brian was grumpy, cranky and snapped at Bob/Brad every chance he got.  When he started to snap at Cynthia she had about all that she could take. It was getting late on Friday afternoon and she was getting tired of Brian’s latest outburst.  As Brian was pacing and cursing Cynthia slammed her appointment book and yelled, “I quit”. The anger in her voice startled Brian. He looked at her wide eyed and she continued, “if you don’t leave now I’m going to quit; do leave you quietly or do I?”  She left him no choice; he packed up his briefcase and picked up his jacket. Heading for the door with slumped shoulders he suddenly stopped went back to Cynthia’s desk and gave her a peck on the cheek. “Sorry”, he said in a tone usually reserved for Justin when caught by him being an asshole.  “Out”, said Cynthia pointing at the door in a gentler tone sensing the true remorse in the man. Brian slithered out. Relishing in the quiet Cynthia returned to her work starting with the phone calls.



Brian went home not happy to be there alone but not in the mood for Woody’s or the diner.  After depositing his briefcase on his desk he went into the bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and removed his jacket, loosening his tie as he lay down.  Thinking he’d close his eyes for only a few minutes sleep overtook him.



Brian found himself in the throws of a horrible nightmare.  All his demons came back to haunt and plague him. Jack, fucking Rage, Ethan, Mikey’s birthday party, the prom.  He kept seeing Justin’s face fading farther and farther away. Justin would ask Brian if he loved him and when Brian hesitated Justin would retreat further.  Brian would open his mouth to try to say the words and nothing would come out. Finally there was nothing left Justin was gone and Brian was left cold and alone.



Brian woke up in a sweat screaming for Justin.  Reaching out for him Brian felt the cold empty expanse of the bed and abruptly sat up.  Slightly confused he got out of bed to remove the remainder of his clothes. He opened the closet and saw all of Justin’s clothes were missing.  Panicked he opened Justin’s drawers and found them empty. He looked in the bathroom all of Justin’s toiletries were gone. Running through the loft he checked the bookcase no art books; the CD rack was devoid of all of Justin’s horrendous music; the pantry empty of all of Justin’s snacks and junk food.  Brian picked up the phone and dialed Justin’s cell---‘the number you have reached has been disconnected no further information available’---“what the fuck?” Brian dropped the phone and cried. He didn’t understand, they hadn’t argued, he didn’t trick, no drugs, only an occasional drink or cigarette; what did he do?  Why would Justin leave him? Brian called the office, the service picked up. He tried Cynthia at home but when her machine picked and he tried to leave a message he got cut off, when he tried to redial the line was busy. He tried Deb’s but no one was home, Mikey, Em no answer. Brian stared at the receiver in disbelief he couldn’t reach anyone.  He went back to bed.



The tears that were stinging his eyes were now streaming down his face.  He curled up in to a ball in the middle of the bed…



“Justin I love you, where are you?”

“Here Baby I’m here”

“Justin?”

“Right here Bri”

“Oh Justin I love you, why did you leave me?”

“Bri I was only gone a few days”

“No you left me, you took everything its all gone, your clothes, your books, CD’s everything!”

“No Baby you were having a nightmare, its all here look”



Brian sat up and looked around.  Through his tears he saw the full closet, Justin opened his drawers and all his things were in place.



“Justin it seemed so real you left me”

“Why would I leave you?”
“Cause I, I”

“What Bri”

“Cause I wouldn’t say I loved you, love you”

“Baby that was years ago you say it all the time with words, every time you look at me, hold me and make love to me”

“Justin please hold me I need to feel you, know you’re real”

“I’m real I love you”



After a time while the lovers lay cuddling holding each other close…




“Justin why are you home, you weren’t due back for a few more days”

“I missed you”

“Missed you too Baby…Justin?”

“Yes Baby”

“Make love to me”

“Oh yes Brian”



As the lovers undressed each other Justin whispered softly to Brian his words of love and assurance.  Justin made love to Brian throughout the night and almost till dawn. Leaving his sleeping lover for only a few moments in the morning he called Cynthia…



“I’m sorry to wake you”

“It’s okay”

“You were right Cyn”

“I figured, he alright now?”

“Yes I think so”

“There’s nothing important for Monday so why don’t you two spend it together”

“Maybe we will I’ll call you”

“Don’t worry Justin and thanks for cutting your trip short”
”No problem I’m right where I want to be; later Cynthia”
”Bye Justin”



“Justin?”

“I’m right here Baby go back to sleep”

“I love you Justin, love you so much”

“I love you too Brian always and forever”

“Mmm forever”

“Sleep now”

“Sleeping now”



Sabina

12/3/03

The Mark Of A Man



After an intense work day the lovers needed to unwind so they changed their clothse ate a quick dinner and went to Babylon.  Being midweek the crowd was small but it really didn’t matter. The lovers had eyes only for each other. As they danced Brian nipped and sucked at Justin’s neck.  Justin so in the zone with the music paid little attention as Brian repeatedly paid homage to Justin’s delectable neck.



When the lovers got home they showered and prepared for bed…


“Oh fuck Bri”

“What Baby?”

“Don’t what Baby me, look at what you did”

“What?”

“As if you didn’t know”



Brian really had no idea so he went to see what Justin was complaining about.  The bruises on Justin’s neck were starting to emerge. Justin stood staring at his neck in the mirror and cursed.



“Baby its really not that bad”

“Not that bad are you nuts I look like I’ve been attacked by a gang of vampires!”



Brian stifled a laugh.



“Don’t you dare laugh at me; shit what am I going to do?”

“Well its cold out, just wear a turtleneck”

“At lunchtime you’re taking me shopping”

“Why?”

“You did this to me and I only have two turtlenecks; better yet you can go by yourself you know my size”

“Mmm yes I do”

“Stop that”

“Ok I’m sorry, I promise I’ll by you more sweaters”

“And don’t you dare send Cynthia cuz I’ll tell her and she wont go for you”

“Brat”

“Asshole”

“Come here Baby let me kiss it and make it better”

“No, you’ll probably make it worse as it is I’ll be bruised for a week”

“You’re a man you can take it.”

Oh yeah what if it were you?”

“Never happen but if it did I’d take it like a man; it wouldn’t bother me after all I’m yours aren’t I”

“Yeah but then the whole world would know”

“I think it already does; come on bed”

“Humph”



As the lovers snuggled Brian leaned in to give Justin a kiss and then he licked the bruises.



“No Brian please”

“Shhh Baby I promise no more marks just kisses”



The warm breath on Justin’s neck made him turn slightly to give his lover more access and true to his word Brian only kissed and licked the bruises.  Then he proceeded to kiss and lick his way all over Justin’s body to properly apologize. When done the lovers were sated and fast asleep in each other’s arms.



The next morning Justin found a turtleneck with a high collar.  He mumbled curses as he put it on. The static made his fine hair stand on end and it was so tight he felt like he was choking.  Brian controlled himself and stifled his laugh.



“Brian I look awful”

“No you don’t”

“Liar”

“Just fix your hair and you’ll be fine and it is cold outside”

“Yeah outside but in the Art Dept. under all the lights I usually wind up half naked by the end of the day”



This revelation was new to Brian and he raised an eyebrow.



“Maybe we can turn down the heat”

“That’ll be a first”



Ignoring the last comment Brian said, “come on let’s go”, but thinking to himself this is not going to be a good day.



Most of the morning went well.  Brian had meetings with a few clients and Justin was busy with the artists and draftsmen.  After his last meeting Brian went to check on the latest work for their newest client. When he got to the Art Dept…



“Hey Sunshine, holy shit!”



Justin had removed his turtleneck leaving only a white wife beater.  To Brian he looked so hot but the bruises on Justin’s neck stood out like beacons.  Justin being so engrossed in his work had forgotten the reason why he wore the turtleneck.  His co-workers discreetly ignored the hickies. With Brian’s arrival and obvious exclamation Justin turned beet red, grabbed his shirt and stormed out in a flurry of curses.  He kicked every trashcan on his way back to his office. Brian could only follow his angry partner. Also following but at a safe distance was their staff.



Those who worked for Brian and Justin were fiercely loyal.  They knew the partners as fair and generous employers who worked hard, played hard and fought hard.  There was never a dull moment at the office even when quiet.



When Justin got to the office he continued his tirade.  Brian grew annoyed at the childish outburst and started his own heated response.  They stood in front of Cynthia’s desk yelling and cursing at each other then they turned, each man went into his own office with a wall shaking slam of their doors.



“Asshole/Brat”



At the door of the outer office the staff assembled awaiting the outcome of the ‘spat’.  Cynthia could hear Brian pacing, throwing papers and slamming drawers. Justin kept kicking the metal trashcan all over his office.



After a few minutes it got quiet.  Cynthia crept to Brian’s door and cracked it open.  She saw Brian gently knock at the door that connected the two offices and slowly opened it.



“I’m sorry Baby, please forgive me”



Brian stood looking very contrite and remorseful.  In a flash a blond tornado flew out of the adjoining office and straight into Brian’s arms.  The partners hugged and kissed.



Cynthia closed Brian’s door and gave the thumbs up to the waiting staff who with a collective sigh and some scattered clapping went back to work relieved and happy.  Cynthia’s intercom buzzed and before Brian could speak she said, “I know hold all calls”. Then she heard the distinctive giggles of her blond boss. By the end of the day life at the agency returned to normal.



Saturday night found our beloved pair again having fun at Babylon.  Brian had a bit too much fun so Justin drove them home. Brian flopped on to the bed and grabbed at his lover…



“Fuck me Baby”



Justin growled low and sexy.  He gave Brian the ride of his life.  Taking full advantage of Brian’s slightly inebriated state Justin was able to play out a few of his fantasies.  Brian denied his baby nothing. When the lovers finally got out of bed it was late Sunday afternoon having absolutely nothing to do but to read the paper and spend a lazy day together.



Monday morning Justin arose early he planned to do some studio time before heading to the office.  Leaving a note for Brian he left the loft before Brian got out of bed. When Justin made it to the office he went directly to the Art Dept. and plunged into work.  After a while he realized the usually chatty artists were all a bit subdued. He was puzzled…



“What’s going I on, did I miss something important?”

“Uh Justin?”

“Yeah Tim”

“Um did you see Brian today?”

“Not really he was still asleep when I left this morning and I came directly here, why?”

“Oh oh”

Huh?”



All of a sudden it got very quiet, more quiet.



“Justin”

“Hi Bri…”



Brian stood at the door not looking pleased.  Justin broke out in giggles.



“Not funny Justin”

---belly laughes---

“Justin do you have a moment I’d like to speak with you in my office”

“Of course Brian”



As Justin went for the door Brian stepped aside to allow him to go first.  Justin quickened his pace and then sprinted to their office with Brian close at his heels.  The staff followed at a safe distance. Justin streaked past Cynthia to his office and slammed the door.  Cynthia heard the lock click.



“Come back here you little twat!”



Again belly laughs.  When Brian realized Justin locked the door he went into his own office and tried the connecting door.  Finding that door locked as well Brian began pounding on it.



“Get out here now!”  

---more laughter---

“I swear Justin I’ll get you for this”

“Whatever happened to taking it like a man”, Justin said through the door accompanied by more giggles.  Brian grumbled but then calmed himself. Justin opened the door and faced his partner.



“Baby it’s not the marks on my neck but I didn’t have anything to wear”

“I can see that”

“Well I had to borrow one of your turtlenecks”

“Brian we’re hardly the same size”

“Tell me about it I had to keep my jacket on all day I’m sweating like a pig and I feel so silly”

“Actually Bri you don’t look so bad its kinda sexy”

“Oh really”

“Uh huh”, Justin purred into Brian’s ear.

“Oh yeah well look”



Brian stepped back and took off his jacket.  The ends of the sleeves barely covered his forearms and his belly was peeping out.  Justin couldn’t help but crack up. Brian suddenly lunged making Justin jump back and trip over a chair.  As he stumbled back he made a grab for Brian’s arm. Justin landed hard on his plump ass taking Brian with him.  The partners sat in a heap on the floor. After the shock wore off they both started to laugh.



Cynthia burst in upon hearing the crash and saw her bosses on the floor laughing so hard that they couldn’t get up.  She shook her head and walked out. The awaiting staff got the thumbs up as Cynthia waited for the intercom to buzz. Instead the door opened and Justin led Brian out.



“Cynthia I’m taking the old man shopping he needs some new turtlenecks”

“Justin”, Brian started to whine.

“Come on Bri just take it like a man---giggle”

---snort---









Sabina

12/4/03

The Making of a Top

48 hours, he agreed to 48 hours minus the time they were at work or in class of course. Justin had requested and he granted 48 hours of Justin being the top.

It wasn't bad, he survived, Brian liked it well mostly liked. He liked the physical part of it. Justin had learned all his lessons well, smart boy. He learned from the master, so of course it would feel good. Sex with Justin was always good better than good. It was like he was getting fucked by himself, not bad if you can manage it. And he trusted Justin, trusted him with his life and so much more.

But now he had enough.

They did it how many times? He lost count. Brian came a lot and hard. His ass hurt; his ass and his brain were screaming. He needed to leave. He got out of bed.

He and Justin were basking in the afterglow or some shit like that. Brian Kinney basking, not fucking likely, it was Justin who was doing all the basking and the glowing. Justin was radiating his glow, his smile, and his love.

Brian on the other hand was seething. He wouldn't show it though, he couldn't let on to Justin just how angry and confused he was feeling. So he got out of bed to take a shower…

"Brian where you going?"

"Out"

"Can I come?"

"No"

"Can I shower with you?"

"No, stay in bed, I need to be alone"

"You okay?"

"Yes Justin"

"Bri are you hungry I could make something before you go out"

"JUSTIN!…Justin please… leave me alone"

He didn't mean to shout he needed quiet, to be alone and no talking. He turned on the shower as hot as he could. Brian knew Justin wouldn't join him, his skin couldn't take it. The hot water felt good, washed away the sweat, the cum and Justin's scent. The only thing he wanted to smell was himself, cigarettes and Beam. He'd go to Woody's.

After Brian toweled off he put on his favorite black jeans that hugged him like a second skin, black wife beater and black silk shirt. He caught the look in Justin's eye as Justin watched him zip up his boots.

Justin knew. Brian knew what the boy was thinking and he did nothing to stop it…

"Don't wait"

Brian grabbed his jacket and keys and walked out.

Brian Kinney was on the prowl.

Justin lay there, the tears he refused to show when Brian was getting dressed now flowed like rain. He didn't understand, they've been so happy. Everything was going right for a change, no major dramas. Everyone in their crazy family was well and doing well including themselves. Justin didn't understand.

Maybe it was the past two days, but if Brian didn't want to they never would. Brian said yes and even enjoyed it, Justin was sure of it. So what happened, what changed? Justin had that feeling again, the feeling of falling off a mountain, of an impending volcanic eruption. Mt. Kinney was about to erupt and it would be Justin who would crash and burn.

Brian said 'don't wait', not don't wait up or later, just don't wait. What the fuck does that mean? Should he leave, go home to Daph's what? Nothing made sense.

Brian parked the car several blocks away from Woody's the walk felt good. He didn't drive straight there, he drove around a while surveying Liberty Ave., looking for prospects.

He'd been driving how long, he wasn't sure, maybe an hour. Then he parked and the walk, his walk, the Brian Kinney on the make walk. It felt good. He almost felt like the old Brian Kinney, no not old, the pre-Justin Brian Kinney with not a care in the world. Get up go to work, go to Woody's, go to Babylon, get high and fuck. Yeah, that Brian Kinney. Not…what is he now? A boyfriend? A father? A what? FUCK!

As he passed the alley near Woody's Brian decided to duck in, see if there was anyone interesting, new, someone he hadn't already done. He smirked to himself, can't be many left.

Since it was fairly warm the alley was a bit crowded but he found an emptying section of brick near a dumpster that would keep him hidden. Brian was already feeling the effects of something he just bought from his favorite Liberty Ave. pharmacologist, something to make him high but not loose control. No he never wanted to loose control not ever again.

When did he loose it? That night three years ago when he saw the most beautiful man in the whole world standing under a streetlight. Now he was afraid that he'd never get it back.

Brian stood with his back against the bricks slightly dizzy and pulled out a cigarette. If he was lucky maybe someone decent would suck him off. He laughed to himself, he doubted that he could get it up; Justin had sucked and fucked him dry. He didn't care, all that mattered was that he was here in the alley where he belonged and not sitting with a partner, boyfriend, lover watching some god awful movie or on a date making small talk or goo goo eyes over dinner. Shit.

He was about to leave the bricks when he sensed someone before him then a tug on his zipper. He didn't need to look, he didn't want to look and the alley was dark so no one would ever know it was him. So he waited to see if the trick had any talent, able to get a rise out of his worn out cock.

Amazingly enough the trick had talent. Brian felt himself getting hard more than hard and he liked it. The trick seemed to know where and how to touch him. Brian began to wonder if this guy had sucked him off before. It didn't matter he was getting close real close then he came. The trick licked him clean, tucked and zipped Brian up and vanished. Good little trick, at least he had the good sense to leave without talking. God he hated talking.

The high from the mix seemed to escape him so Brian decided to call on his old friend Beam. No not old, comforting, reliable and Beam never talked back or wanted a commitment. Beam never lied, cheated or hurt him.

The bar wasn't crowded kinda quiet, which suited him. The bartender brought Brian a double and left the bottle, smart man, he'd leave a big tip. The first drink went down fast so did the second, the third lingered. He wanted to savor this one take it slow be in control, not like his life. No more control. The blonds in his life had taken away all his control Lindsey, Cynthia and Justin.

It always came down to Justin, the little blond twink who made Brian's life a living hell and worth living. FUCK! What was he going to do now?

A couple of more hours passed as well as the forth shot. He had enough.

Brian left the big tip and slipped out the back door through the alley again. It was late and midweek the alley was now all but deserted. The Beam had done its job on his head so he leaned up against the cool bricks trying to clear his head enough so he could walk back to his car if he could find his car. He closed his eyes and took another drag of his cigarette.

Again Brian felt a pull on his zipper. There was no way he would get hard. He started laughing, oh well if the trick thought he could do it then who was he to deny the guy the pleasure of trying. Even a soft Brian Kinney was impressive, so he leaned back and enjoyed the warm mouth sucking on his dick.

Brian's mind drifted, wandered over the years, the thousands of anonymous fucks and sucks, meaningless all meaningless except for one. No Justin wasn't a trick wasn't meaningless aside from Gus Justin was the most valuable thing, person in his life. Brian almost hated Justin for making him feel like that, almost. How philosophical does one become in a dark alley when you're drunk and some unknown trick is sucking your cock and doing a damn good job too.

As Brian pondered the fine line between love and hate the trick managed to make him hard. Brian heard a wrapper tear and felt the cool sensation of the condom being rolled on to his dick. Then the trick positioned himself and leaned back hard onto Brian's cock. Brian had no choice but to fuck the tight willing ass that was all but attached to his dick. No he did have a choice and Brian chose to fuck.

The alley was too dark to see much and the guy was dressed in dark clothes besides what the fuck did Brian care. The ass was tight warm and knew what to do so Brian fucked. He fucked as hard as he could, gave the trick a good hard ride. He felt the guy cum, the spasm made his ass clench which in turn made Brian cum.

As Brian held onto the wall to stabilize his wobbly legs the trick removed himself, the condom tucked and zipped Brian up. Then as with the first one he vanished. Again gratefully there was no talking.

Brian's head had cleared sufficiently so at least he new which direction to walk to find his car, driving it would be another matter. Well he'd call Mikey if he had to; first he'd get to his car.

As Brian walked his mind started to race again. He felt like shit, he was a shit. He did it again, pushed away the one person who truly loved him off the edge again. And this time he may never get him to come back. He wanted to be alone and now Brian was afraid that he really was going to be alone. He felt lost and now Brian realized that he walked in the wrong direction. He looked around to find the street signs to get his bearings; he leaned against a light and took out a cigarette. He heard someone approach…

"Busy night?"

"Justin?"

"You okay?"

"No, Justin I'm sor…"

"Sorry is bullshit"

"Justin please"

"Please what Bri?"

"Please take me home, take us home"

The men drove off in silence. Brian dozed while Justin drove them home. Brian allowed the young man to lead him into the building, onto the elevator and inside the loft. Justin locked up and set the alarm then gently guided Brian to the bedroom. Brian let his boy undress him and tuck him into bed. Although Justin had set the alarm it still surprised Brian when Justin undressed and got into bed. Brian was sure that Justin was going to leave.

They settled in and Brian spooned against Justin's back. Gently caressing the pale smooth skin he heard the small sigh that escaped Justin's lips…

"Justin I'm sorry"

"I know Brian"

"I do love you"

"I know that too and I love you"

Again the sigh…

"Baby?"

"What Bri?"

"I want you inside me"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes just go slow"

"Like it's the first time?"

"Yes baby it is the first time"

Justin made love to Brian slowly, quietly and ever so tenderly. When done Justin cleaned them both and Brian drew him close. Neither man said a word but before sleep would take them…

"It was you wasn't it?"

"Yes"

"It will always be you"

"Yes"

"Thank you Justin"

"You're welcome Brian"

"I lo…"

"Shhh go to sleep Brian"

"Yes Justin"

Brian wasn't angry or confused anymore; what he was, is, is an asshole and he vowed he would spend the rest of his life making sure he would never hurt Justin again.

The volcano didn't erupt this time. Justin managed to release enough pressure so that all that it did was spew forth some smoke and a lot of noise. He would live to climb Mt. Kinney another day. Brian needed him, loved him and some times even wanted Justin to top him. But Justin would never ask again. No he could wait. Justin would never take that away from Brian again. Justin would bottom and Brian would be Brian. Justin would never ask again unless Brian wanted him to and that was okay, because it took a very special man to be a top and an equally special man to be the bottom in this relationship.

The trick is to know who's who. Do you?

What Do You Want

"Brian are you almost finished on the computer?"

"Just finishing up now, why what's up?"

[You I hope] "Oh nothing I kinda wanted to make out."

"Make out? What are we a het couple, we don't make out."

"You know what I mean; I want to suck face, chew your lips, kiss you."

"Justin what's gotten in to you?"

[You I hope] "Brian you're so gorgeous, I love you , I just want to kiss you."

"Well why didn't you say so in the first place; come here Sunshine"

[I thought I did] "Kiss me Brian."

—lots of kissing and sucking face—

"Brian I want you."

"What do you want?"

"Everything, I want you in me, I want to suck your cock, I want you to lick me; oh god I want to touch you all over."

"Justin"

"Brian sometimes you only have to say my name and kiss me to make me cum."

"Justin I love touching you, I love kissing you, licking you, sucking you; I love to rim your ass."

—moaning, panting—

"Brian I, I..."

"Yeah Baby, cum for me, you can do it, cum."

"No Bri not yet."

"Yes Baby I want you to, we have all night, we can do anything, everything."

"Brian oh oh ahhh."

"Say it Baby, do it."

"Brian I'm cumming oh god I'm cu..."

"That's it Justin, that's it Baby, cum for me."

"Oh god BRIAN!"—panting—

"Justin I love watching you cum."

"Yeah?"

"Uh huh, you're so beautiful, your toes curl, your body arches and then your cum flies; beautiful!"

"Oh Brian I want you inside me, NOW!"

"Yes my Angel, my beautiful Sunshine."

"Make it last all night."

"What ever you want Baby."

—after loving—

"Brian?"

"Yes Baby."

"Tell me what you want."

"Baby you give me everything I want."

"No I mean..."

"I know what you mean; Justin every time you want me to kiss you, touch you or make love to you, you give me what I want."

"Brian can I tell you a secret?"

"What Baby?"

"Sometimes when I'm at work or in class and I start to think about you I get so excited that I can't breathe, I have to find some place private."

"Do you jerk off?"

"Not always, sometimes I just have to calm down; I get these weird butterflies deep down in my belly and I can't concentrate on anything."

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"Baby can I tell you a secret?"

"What?"

"Before I met you I never really wanted to..."

"What Bri?"

"You know."

"Do you mean?"

"Uh huh."

"You like it when I, when you, when we...?"

"Uh huh; Justin I want you to kiss me."

"Oh god butterflies, touch me Bri."

"Baby you're so hard; Justin..."

"You want me?"

"Yes Baby, hard, real hard."

"Oh god Brian whatever you want."

"Yes Baby yes!"

—after loving—

"Brian that was...

"Amazing, I know."

"Brian it's always amazing with you."

"Justin, I have one more secret; I never felt this way with any other man."

"Really Bri?"

"Uh huh you're all I want."

"I never wanted any other Bri."

—later—

"Justin"

"Yes Bri."

"I want you."

"Oh yes Bri!"

Unfair Advantage

Justin's POV:

Fucking bastard. One minute we're arguing about dinner then the next we're in bed with me sucking his cock. Now how the fuck did that happen?

I try to stand my ground, hold firm to my convictions but, shazam! He's on his back and his cock is down my throat. It's unfair.

I just don't get it. Am I that easy? His little sex slut? No matter how angry I am with him, he gives me that look, says my name in that breathy sexy voice and I'm on my knees.

It's so unfair. He can get me to do anything he wants, Mister Sex on Two Legs. I may be cute but I've seen him stop traffic on Liberty Avenue with one arch of his eyebrow. Shit, how does he do this to me?

Must be his gorgeous eyes. The way they change color with the light or his moods. Or it could be the way he touches me. That simple caress of his thumb across my cheek and I'm a goner.

Maybe it's his smile. That know-it-all tongue in cheek smirk. And I know it's his scent. Spicy and masculine but subtle like a whisper on a breeze, barely there and uniquely Brian.

But mostly, it's his kiss. All it takes is just one kiss to make me a puddle o' Sunshine. He can make me forget my own name with his kisses. I certainly don't remember what we were arguing about. One kiss and Liberty's most famous cock is my main course.

Well, Mr. Stud, two can play that game . I'm gonna make him cum and cum till he screams and...

"Justin."

"Hmm?"

"Come up here."

"But I'm not finished."

"Later, want to kiss you."

Yeah, it's definitely his kiss.

Like now, the way he's nibbling on my neck and buries his face in my hair. Inhaling me, breathing me into him, making me a part him when he kisses me. I belong to him. I'm home with him and he knows it. I never want him to stop. God, I want him so much, need him now.

"Brian, please."

"What do you want, Justin?"

"I want more."

"More what?"

"Want to suck your cock."

"Yeah."

So unfair. I'm a lucky bastard!