"So, did you enjoy dinner?"

"Yes, Brian, it was very nice."

"How about the restaurant and the table they gave us?"

"It was wonderful. We should go there more often."

"How about the food, Justin, did you like your Chicken Parmesan?"

Yes, Brian, it was very tasty. You should have tried some."

"One last thing, how about the phone number the waiter gave you while I was in the men's room? Did you enjoy that one as well?  Was the writing clear and legible?"

"Uh, what?"

"Well, Justin?"

"Hey, I wonder if we have anymore of that chocolate cake?"

"JUSTIN!"

"I can explain," Justin said as he moved to the kitchen. 

Brian followed him, the build-up of anger and hurt bubbling in his gut.

Justin took the teapot off the burners on the stove, filling it with water.

"I'm making tea, do you want any?" he asked as he placed the kettle on the stove and turned on the burner.

"No, I do not want any fucking tea.  I want an answer.  Why did you get the waiter's number?"  Brian walked to the window, clenching his hands together.  He looked out the window, seeing the lights off the pool area. 

Brian

He and Justin had been together for over 15 years.  When Justin moved to New York to pursue his career in art, it nearly destroyed both of them.  He'd told him that it was "only time" but time was so often their enemy.  It seemed to alternately eat up their day or drag on when they were counting the days until they were together.  Phone sex had become an art form between the two men.  They tried to spend at least two weekends a month together and every few months they would manage to stretch those precious days to enjoy a four day weekend.  Brian's business was growing and as time went on, he found it harder and harder to get away.  As Justin painted he continued to make contacts and eventually found an agent that would represent him. After a year, his weekends were filled with attending new openings of other artists, and there was little time for him to enjoy Brian's visits.  Once he landed a show and it was successful, they discussed that he really could paint anywhere and he moved back to the Pitts.

He'd been gone for about 18 months and the couple had to learn to be in the same city again.  This was the first time that they were both professionals and the dynamics of their relationship had changed slightly.  Brian was used to supporting Justin and had contributed to Justin's living expenses while in New York.  While Justin did not like that Brian helped support him, he realized that if he were to give his career a fighting chance, he needed time to devote to it.  New York was expensive and since he knew he had few skills besides being a waiter.  Since it did not pay well, he reluctantly agreed to allow Brian to help.  When he returned to Pittsburgh, Brian had gotten used to assisting Justin with his bills and there were many discussions and a few arguments until they figured things out.

When he returned to Pittsburgh, he moved in with Brian and this time it was a conscious decision on both their parts.  He was not bouncing around like a ping pong ball and Brian wanted him there.  They had become a couple and their friends accepted them.

When Brian suggested they get married a few years later, Justin was thrilled and they had a lovely wedding and reception.  Things didn't start to change for a few years, but then they decided that they wanted to be monogamous and had been faithful ever since.  Tonight, things changed. Brian couldn't understand what had changed.  Justin blatantly accepted a phone number from a guy, a very good looking one who was just his type.  When they used to play together, Justin would often pick their trick and this guy fit Justin's taste to a T. 

Brian was hurt and confused.  He thought their relationship was going well.  How could Justin feel differently?  He rehashed their last few months for any telltale signs of unhappiness or difficulty.  He'd been working a lot lately, it was nearing the end of the quarter and businesses were often planning their new campaigns for the upcoming season.  However, this was not a new thing.  He'd been working a lot of extra hours preparing for a new customer.  The customer would bring in 2 million to Kinnetik and while Kinnetik was very successful now, a new contract of that size would give some cushion if something were to change with the existing businesses. 

One problem with owning your own business was that you had to constantly look for new business, as you never knew when something might change with your existing client base.  An owner could not rest on his laurels and ride the wave of success.  New ideas and new clients were constantly being sought.  He had worked the last few weekends but Justin had said he was working on a special project and he was fine with Brian putting in the extra hours as that allowed him to work on it.

Brian accepted that the creative brain knew no time constraints.  It was still a normal occurrence for Justin to wake up in the middle of the night with an idea for a piece and Brian would find him in his studio oblivious to the time of day or how long he'd been there.  He was thankful for their housekeeper, Rosa who kept an eye on Justin and would bring him snacks or meals when he would be in his studio for long stretches of time.

Between Justin's new project and Brian's work schedule, there had been a decrease in their time together.  There was a time where they would make love 3 or 4 times a day, but those days were relegated to their brief vacation opportunities.  They still enjoyed each other, but Brian was 45 and his 46th birthday was just a few weeks away. He was still in excellent shape, going to the gym a few times a week and walking on his treadmill most nights.  But, time takes its toll and he needed longer time to recover from sex than in his younger days.  He could easily go twice in a day, but the days of making love for hours with 5-6 orgasms in one session were long gone. 

He wondered if that was the problem that caused Justin to get the waiter's number.  Justin was only 32, still young and his body could easily recover from sex and go at it 5-6 times a day.  He was just slightly older now than Brian was when they met.  He would hate to think that he was losing his partner as a result of his inability to have sex as often as he used to.   While Justin's sex drive was one of the things that Brian admired about him and had been an initial draw to both men, he wasn't convinced that this was the problem.  Justin wasn't turning away from sex and he initiated just as much as Brian did. 

If sex wasn't the problem, what the fuck was the issue?  He turned toward Justin waiting for an answer.  Justin wore his heart on his sleeve and could never lie to Brian; therefore, he really hoped there was a logical explanation for this behavior.  He couldn't fathom one, but he was hoping.  The pull in his gut was getting stronger and he could feel his dinner churning.  How had this opportunity for a rare night out turned into such a nightmare?

Justin

Justin wasn't sure how he wanted to answer Brian.  He was hurt and angry that Brian would even think that he would hook up with another guy, much less do it right in front of him.  Didn't Brian trust him?  Was their relationship so tentative that an innocuous interaction brought such suspicion? 

He knew that both of them had been working really hard lately.  Brian was trying to win a new client and it would be a real coup for Kinnetik to sign the company.  This was a double edged sword.  Winning the account gave Kinnetik a little more financial cushion, but then Brian worked even more hours to ensure the campaign's success.  It wasn't unusual for him to work 10 hour days six days a week.  His staff was used to the frenzied pace and they were well compensated.  But as his spouse, it took its toll on their relationship.

Being together and having time for each other was just as important to keep their marriage alive as fidelity.  If your spouse was always working, and you rarely saw him, there were plenty of opportunities to break your vows of monogamy, but then again your spouse would never know since he wasn't home.

They had always been career driven, just in different ways.  Brian wanted to make Kinnetik the best boutique ad agency in the area and he was already starting to talk expansion.  Justin wanted to paint and his initial sojourn to New York to become an established artist had been difficult but well worth the time and effort.  Once he proved to the art world that he could create, he was able to do so and didn't have to live in New York.  Justin's career kept him busy and after every show, he was usually asked to complete several private commissions. Success bred success.  This was a vicious circle for both men. The better they were at their jobs, the more they worked.  This success impacted their relationship as they had less time to be together and enjoy each other.  

Justin went back to his original thoughts before he got sidetracked by a review of their successful careers.  He knew they hadn't been spending a lot together lately, but he was hurt that Brian actually suggested that he was seeking sex with another guy.  And it really hurt that Brian thought he would do it right in front of him.  Were they that far out of touch with each other?  Now he was worried.  Brian was the love of his life and he didn't want to lose him, but if Brian didn't trust him...

"Are you suggesting that I asked that guy for his number to pick him up?" Justin asked, his voice steely.  He wanted to push Brian, see where his thoughts were.

"If the shoe fits..."

"Really, Brian?  Do you really think that I would be so stupid to pick up a guy right in front of you?  We are both working so much these days that we rarely see each other.  Don't you think that I could have plenty of opportunities to pick up a trick in the many hours of the day when we are apart rather than do so right in front of you?"

Brian didn't like the way this conversation was progressing.  His first impulse was to push back and without thinking, he said, "Sure you have lots of opportunities to trick, but doing it in front of me would be just like you to throw it in my face.  You never could lie well, Justin and this could be your way to put it out there."  Brian felt his stomach tie in knots.  He loved Justin and didn't want to fight.  They had so few opportunities to be together lately and tonight was supposed to be an evening for them to reconnect.  Instead, it was quickly turning into Brian's worst nightmare. 

Justin wanted to scream, but knew that would escalate things.  Instead he heard the tea kettle whistle and started preparing his tea.  He opened their tea drawer where he kept a wide assortment of teas; herbal, caffeinated and decaffeinated, white, black and green tea.  He chose a Camomile, hoping it would calm his nerves. Opening the packet he placed it in the cup, and carefully poured the hot water over it, waiting for it to steep. He didn't say anything or make any move to leave the room, but when his tea was seeped, he took the cup and walked toward the living room.

"Don't you fucking leave me here.  I want an answer," Brian yelled as he watched Justin leave the kitchen.

"Are you done with the performance?" Justin asked as he sat on the large maroon chair by the window.  He blew on his cup and took a tentative sip of the hot beverage.

"Why did you get that guy's number? Fucking answer me, or I swear..."

"You swear what, Brian.  You'll do what exactly?" Justin asked, with steel nerves.  "You'll hit me.  I highly doubt that.  Even you know better then to raise your hand against me unless it is mutually initiated.  You'll leave.  Well there's the door.  There are no locks on it as you are want to say.  I'm not stopping you. But if you leave, there will be consequences and I'm not sure that either of us is ready or wants them," Justin said, the threat in his words clear.  "Do not threaten me.  I have done nothing wrong."  He took another sip of his tea and looked at Brian again, waving to the chair opposite him.  "Why don't you sit down and we can start this conversation over?  Or not?  Your choice."  Justin played with his tea cup, cupping it in his hand, looking at the liquid as if it held some secret meaning, while he waited for Brian do decide what he wanted to do.

He was relieved when Brian sat down on the chair opposite him and slumped in the chair. 

"That's better.  I had a lovely evening tonight.  Thank you for taking me to dinner.  We should do it more often.  We seem to be on different schedules and I miss you," Justin said

"Justin....," he said as he clenched his jaw.  The tension in Brian's voice was still evident.  He still wanted an answer to his question, but realized that Justin wasn't going to be bullied into a response. "Yes, the food was very good and I know you like the restaurant.  It has been a while since we ate dinner together.  It was nice seeing you before 11:00 pm," Brian added.

Justin took another sip of his tea.  He looked at the cup and saw it was almost empty and frowned.  The cup was a nice distraction, but he did not want to get up and make another cup.  He set it down on the table.

"Yes.  It is one of my favorite restaurants.  It seems like forever since we shared a meal."   He knew Brian wanted an answer to the question and now that Brian was acting civilly, he was more inclined to give him one.  "Oh by the way, our waiter asked for my phone number."

"Really," Brian said, glad that he was not going to have to push.

"Yes.  He was one of my students in that last seminar I gave at the Bloom Gallery.  You remember, the one about how to get your work shown.  He wanted to see if I could meet him for a cup of coffee and give him some additional pointers."

"Oh."

"It's nice to know that the students pay attention to the seminars I offer.  I was flattered and I agreed to meet him next week.  I wanted to spend the weekend with you, if you don't have any objections?" Justin said, matter of factly.

" I'm sorry.  I'm an ass. I should have...."  Brian didn't like apologizing and he stammered over his words.  He really wanted to spend time with Justin and that is why he made reservations at the restaurant.  It was one of Justin's favorites and the food never disappointed. He should have known that Justin wouldn't cheat on him.  He had been told so many times in times in his younger years that he was a mistake and should have been aborted that he often wondered how he got so lucky to have Justin love him. His body relaxed when he heard Justin's explanation.  He could feel the tension from  the fight or flight adrenaline start to dissipate.

"Yes you are and yes you should have.   But I'm going to make you pay for your mistake.  Your ass is mine for the next 24 hours.  Maybe next time, you won't let your insecurities run away with you," Justin said.  Justin was pleased that Brian apologized; he had come a long way in that area.

"Sounds like a plan. I'll meet you upstairs."  Brian leaned over and kissed him, smiling as he looked at his partner, wondering how he ever got so lucky. Brian walked quickly, unbuttoning his shirt and dropping it as he entered their bedroom. 

Justin smiled.  He'd gotten what he wanted, Brian in bed with him for 48 hours and all it took was a $50.00 bill slipped to the waiter to pretend he wanted Justin's phone number.  He had not forgotten his lessons in the Brian Kinney operating manual. Make Brian jealous and you get all his attention for a long weekend.

The end

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