DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME

(Kahn-Schwandt-Andre)

Stars shining bright above you

Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"

Birds singin' in the sycamore tree

Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me

Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me

While I'm alone and blue as can be

Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear

Still craving your kiss

I'm longing to linger till dawn dear

Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you

Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you

But in your dreams whatever they be

Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear

Still craving your kiss

I'm longing to linger till dawn dear

Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you

Sweet dreams that leave all worries far behind you

But in your dreams whatever they be

Dream a little dream of me

******************************************************************

Our last night together.

We spent the evening and most of the night making love, fucking, sucking and rimming each other until we collapsed in a heap, breathless and in pleasant exhaustion. He's fast asleep with his arms around me.

Somehow I've managed to extricate myself from his grip without waking him. He looks so peaceful, almost vulnerable in a way. He's sensed that I'm not there and he hugs my pillow as a meager substitute, inhaling my scent, even as he sleeps. I creep into the bathroom, shut the door and take a quick shower. I hope the sound of the water doesn't wake him.

I look around the bathroom as I towel off and can't help but smile as I reminisce about the hundreds of showers we've taken together. My almost lifeless cock twitches with each memory.

I write a note and lay it on my side of the bed. He'll be pissed but it's better this way. Hot tears sting my eyes as I watch him sleep. So beautiful, so strong, so full of the love he tries to deny but I know it's there. I kiss his sleeping brow.

Quietly, I pad over to the window. The night is clear and even with the lights from the city I can see the stars and pray on each one to watch over him. I wonder if the stars will look the same in L.A. This will be a difficult separation for both of us. I have to do this, go away and do the best I can for the Rage movie. He understands this and lets me go, go to become a ‘staahh', or try my damnedest to do a good job. Make him proud of me. I wont let him down, wont let Michael or the family down. Do the best I can to stay true to Rage.

My plane leaves at 6AM, he wants to drive me to the airport but I don't think I can stand to say goodbye, again. It's three, I've called a cab and my bags are at the door, I'll meet the cab outside so the buzzer doesn't wake him.

"Justin."

"Shh, go back to sleep."

"M'kay."

Shit, he almost woke up. I hope I can still sneak out. Damn, my allergies. He's quiet, deep asleep again.

One last look at him, one last look at the loft. I'll feel him all the way to California and he'll feel me too, for days, if I'm lucky. My notorious bottom top.

I'll be dreaming about him every night while we're apart, maybe he'll dream about me.

"I love you Brian. Pleasant dreams."

I CALL YOUR NAME

(Lennon-McCartney)

I call your name but you're not there

Was I to blame for bein' unfair

Don't you know I can't sleep at night since you've been gone

I never weep at night, I can't go on

Don't you know I can't take it

I don't know who can

I'm not gonna make it

I'm not that kind of man

Don't you know I can't sleep at night but just the same

I never weep at night, I call your name

Don't you know I can't take it

I don't know who can

I'm not gonna make it

I'm not that kind of man

Don't you know I can't sleep at night but just the same, yeah

I never weep at night, I call your name

I never weep at night, I call your name

***********************************

"Goodnight Brian."

"Goodnight Twat and remember, CONDOMS, the thick ones."

"Love you too, Asshole. Later."

"Yeah, yeah. Later."

Fuck, thought the little the shit would never hang up. Just  prattles on and on. Why can't he remember a little thing like a  four hour time difference. Twat! No, he has to call at three in the morning, every morning since he left. Just like him.

And what's with this three in the morning shit?! Like him sneaking outta here at three in the morning. Fucking little shit. I wake up to find cold sheets, no blond boy ass, just a note. `Better this way. I love you. I'm going to miss you.'

Miss me?! Yeah, miss my cock more like it. I'm not going to miss him, much. Miss that hot tight ass of his. Miss that sweet thick cock. Miss that beautiful smile. Miss that giggle. Shit. Sound like a lesbian. And at fuckin' three in the morning. Damn, now how do I go back to sleep?

Not gonna miss his shit cluttering up my loft. Not gonna miss his dirty clothes he drops all over. Especially not gonna miss his nasty socks. Shit, for a boy who showers as much as he does, how do his socks smell so bad? Like the ones under my pillow. How the fuck did they get there? Smelly Justin socks. Like him, strong, musky after a long day at the diner or after a day at his easel.  Yeah, just like his hoodie. Why did he leave it here and unwashed! Well, it'll be here when he gets home. And he better not expect me to wash it, not gonna wash his laundry. That's what he has Daphne or his mother for. Shit. Just like him to go 3,000 miles and leave me with his dirty smelly clothes. Fuck. No, not gonna miss him at all.

Sleep. Got to go back to sleep. Deal with his shit in the morning.

Socks.

Hoodie.

"Justin."

Fuck.

DEDICATED TO THE ONE I LOVE

(Pauling-Bass)

While I'm far away from you my baby

I know it's hard for you my baby

Because it's hard for me my baby

And the darkest hour is just before dawn

Each night before you go to bed my baby

Whisper a little prayer for me my baby

And tell all the stars above

This is dedicated to the one I love

(love can never be exactly like we want it to be)

I could be satisfied knowing you love me

(and there's one thing I want you to do especially for me)

And it's something that everybody needs

While I'm far away from you my baby

Whisper a little prayer for me my baby

Because it's hard for me my baby

And the darkest hour is just before dawn

If there's one thing I want you to do especially for me

Then it's something that everybody needs

Each night before you go to bed my baby

Whisper a little prayer for me my baby

And tell all the stars above

This is dedicated to the one I love

*********************************************

Justin's POV:

It's beautiful here. Walking on the beach, the quiet, the smell of the ocean, the waves gently crashing on the shore. Almost perfect, just one thing would make it all perfect. Brian. I wish he could've come with me. Wish we could be walking on this beach together. I've been gone less than a week and I miss him, miss home so much.

I'm settled into the beach condo that Brett arranged for me. I could almost think of myself as a very important person but I know that it's not really true. I'm an employee like everyone else on the set. Well, maybe just a little more important than some. I have to keep them on track. Keep them true to Rage. To the spirit of the Gay Crusader, to Rage, to Brian. Besides, Michael would have a fit if they screwed with Rage.

I thought there'd be more stars in the sky but the beach isn't immune to the smog. Neither am I. Thank God I took all my allergies medication with me. Or rather Brian packed every allergy pill and inhaler he could get his hands on. And then there's that allergy list he snuck into my wallet and the copy in my messenger bag and in my suitcase. Bet he's even contacted the medical office at the studio. My mother hen; yeah, he sooo loves me.

It's warm, too warm sometimes and sometimes not warm enough. It's not warm in my bed, without him, my own personal furnace. I wonder what that furnace is doing now. Hope he's not keeping someone else warm. Don't go there Taylor. Don't even think about that. Out of sight, out of mind. God, I hope not.

Almost time for me to call him. I hate waking him up...not. Yeah, he bitches, moans and groans about the time I call but I think he keeps the phone next to him, on my pillow. He does answer pretty quick. I should go back to the condo. It's almost time.

Maybe he can fly out here for a visit. If he's not too busy. He loves his agency. He loves the work. The wheeling and dealing. Bitching and growling out orders. Big drama queen. The Rage of advertising. Well, he's good at it. More than good. The best ad man in Pittsburgh. He deserves all the success; works too damn hard for it, though. I hope he takes a break every once in a while. I'm not there to make sure he eats or doesn't work all night on his computer. I hope he finds a little time to hang out with the guys. He needs to take care of himself and the stubborn bastard never asks for help. Asshole. Work himself to death if someone isn't there to stop him, make him take a break. Maybe I'll call Cynthia. At least she'll keep an eye on him at the agency. Debbie will make sure he eats and the guys will get him out. He'll be okay. I wonder if he thinks about me.

Yes! It's time.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bri."

"Do you have any idea what the fuck the time is!?!..."

Go Where You Want to Go

(Phillips)

You gotta go where you wanna go

Do what you wanna do

With whoever you wanna do it with

You gotta go where you wanna go

Do what you wanna do

With whoever you wanna do it with

You don't understand

That a guy like me can love just one man

Three thousand miles, that's how far you'll go

And you said to me "Please don't follow"

'cause you gotta go where you wanna go

Do what you wanna do

With whoever you wanna do it with

You gotta go where you wanna go

Do what you wanna do

With whoever you wanna do it with

You don't understand

That a guy like me can love just one man

You've been gone a week, and I tried so hard

Not to be the cryin' kind

Not to be the man you left behind

You gotta go where you wanna go

Do what you wanna do

With whoever you wanna do it with

**********************************

"So, where's the big guy?"

"In the alley, getting his dick sucked, the asshole."

"You know what they say..."

"When the partner's away..."

"The asshole will play. His partner hasn't been away that long."

"Well, he's a man with needs."

"You mean, a man who can't keep his dick in his pants. Where's his sense of loyalty?"

"A man like that has no loyalty."

"That's a shame, his partner is a good man, off doing something note worthy. The asshole should have more pride, in his partner and in himself. When my partner was away I didn't jump into the first twink that glanced my way."

"You're different, you have principles."

"I'm not that different. I'm not saying I was a saint but come on; he's been away only a week. He could show some self control."

"Maybe their relationship isn't as strong as yours."

"Maybe."

"They haven't been together for that long. You've been with your partner for what?"

"About ten years now. Since med school."

"They've only really been together for about a year."

"Still."

"I know, but the twink flashed his smile, batted his baby blues and off he went. So you really didn't cheat?"

"I had offers but it didn't seem right. My partner was away in Iraq, I couldn't do that to him. I prayed every day for his safe return. We were both lucky. He didn't get hurt and he came home mentally sound, unlike so many others. Even though he was working in a military hospital, he still had to carry a gun and know how to use a rifle. God, I was so scared for him."

"But he's home now."

"Yeah, thank god. I know some of my friends thought I was an idiot for not going out to relieve the tension, so to speak. But frankly the thought of waking up in a strange bed or kicking someone out of ours held no appeal for me."

"You're a better man than most of us."

"No, I'm not. I strayed a couple of times, let someone suck me off once or twice but I didn't want my dick up anyone's elses ass but my lover."

"I hear ya."

"It's getting late and I have an early shift tomorrow. I want to be home when Joey gets there. You gonna make sure the asshole gets home okay?"

"Yeah. See you at Babylon this weekend?"

"Wouldn't miss it. We'll both be there. Night."

"Night."

***************************

"Mr. Kinney? Been waiting long?"

"No."

"Thank you for meeting me here. Is this too unconventional for you? A business meeting in a gay bar."

"For me? Nah. Besides, you'd be surprised what you can learn by sitting alone in a bar. Now what can Kinnetic do for you Mr. Yates? I get the impression you weren't very satisfied with your last ad firm."

"No, I wasn't. Very poor follow up service. And when their lackluster ad didn't produce the promised response, I got the run around. So I never renewed the contract. Vangard, it seems, has no sense of loyalty to their clients."

"Well, Mr. Yates, if you decide on Kinnetic, we will show you loyalty. Everyone at my agency, right down to my accountant will be at your disposal. I've learned just how important loyalty can be. Let's find a quiet table where we can discuss your needs."

Got A Feelin'

(Phillips-Doherty)

Got a feelin' that I'm wastin' time on you babe

Got a feelin' that you've been untrue

I got a feelin' that you're stealin'

All the love I thought I was givin' to you

Baby it's true

Got a feelin' that you're playin' some game with me babe

Got a feelin' that you just can't see

If you're entertainin' any thought that you're gainin'

By causin' me all of this pain and makin' me blue

The joke's on you

When I get to feelin' that you're stealin' love

And I don't know why

It makes me so discouraged

I finally get the courage not to cry babe

Or even try babe

Got a feelin' that I'm wastin' time on you babe

Got a feelin' that you've been untrue

I got a feelin' that you're stealin'

All the love I thought I was givin' to you

Baby it's true, the joke's on you

Baby it's true, the joke's on you

***********************************

"Hello?"

"Hey, Boy Wonder."

"Michael?"

"Of course, it's Michael. Who else calls you that? Wait a minute, I don't want to know. How's it going?"

"What time is it?"

"Ten, why?"

"Ugh. Never mind. How are you?"

"Great. The baby's great too. Did you get the pictures?"

"Yeah, all one hundred of them."

"I didn't send that many."

"Coulda fooled me. Why are you calling?"

"Just wanted to know how our movie is doing. Have they casted Zephyr yet?"

"No. Brett said something about not liking the costume and he didn't think Zephyr was necessary to the story. The backers wanted to focus on Rage and JT but I convinced them that Rage needed Zephyr. They're still working on it."

"Not necessary?! Justin you have to change their minds. Rage needs his best friend!"

"I know. Don't worry. Brett will come around."

"I bet he will."

"How's Debbie?"

"She's good. Still making us all get together for Friday dinners."

"Brian, been going?"

"Haven't seen much of him lately. I mean I see him at Babylon, then he disappears. Guess he's up to his old tricks."

"Oh."

"Hey, what do you expect? You're not married. Not like me and Ben."

"Yeah."

"Look, I gotta go. Me and Ben are taking Hunter shopping. Call me when they get an actor for Zephyr."

"Yeah, sure. Bye, Michael."

"Bye."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shit Shit Shit

"FUCK!"

Now, how do I go back to sleep?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Hello."

"Hey, Brian."

"Justin, it's Saturday, why are you up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Justin."

"I don't know, had a feeling. Needed to hear your voice."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Michael just called me."

"Uh huh. And what's so important that my supposed best friend had to call you at 6am your time?"

"Asked about Zephyr. I told you about that."

"Yeah, right. And I suppose he told you that he hasn't seen much of me lately."

"He mentioned something about it."

"I'm sure he did. I love him but sometimes he doesn't know when to keep his big mouth shut."

"I guess."

"So the gerbil in that little blond head of yours is running on overdrive."

"Yeah."

"I've been busy at Kinnetic. Justin, I'm not a saint. I never promised you monogamy."

"I know, Brian."

"Listen to me, are you listening?"

"Yes."

"Rage has room for only one man in his bed and in his heart. You understand?"

"Yes, Brian."

"Good. Think you can go back to sleep now?"

"I think so."

"So sleep. I'll call you later then Rage and JT will have a very serious discussion about what should go on in Rage's lair. Okay?"

"Okay. Brian? I..."

"I know, Justin, me too. Go to sleep."

"Later, Rage."

"Later, JT."

It's All the Rage

****************************************

"Yeah."

"Hey, Brian!"

"Hiya, Sonny Boy. You get back to sleep?" No more annoying thoughts about Zephyr?"

"Yup, went right back to sleep. All thoughts of Zephyr gone."

"Good boy. Now, I have something very important to discuss with you before Rage and JT have that serious chat."

"Oh? What's up?"

"Your laundry, that's what's up."

"My laundry?"

"Yes, specifically, your dirty socks and your hoodie. Do you ever wash that thing?"

"Of course I wash it. Are you saying I left it there?"

"Yes, you left it here, as if you didn't know. That thing is like your second skin and don't change the subject. You left it hanging in MY closet smelling like the Pink Plate special. And you left a pair of your grey socks, at least I think they're grey, under my pillow."

"Hey, you're lucky it wasn't a pair of my briefs."

"Sunshine, I always knew where your ass had been, your feet are quite another matter."

"Asshole. We're wasting a significant amount of my minutes discussing my dirty clothes."

"No, we're not. I upgraded your plan before you left. You can call my number anytime for free and you have free weekend minutes. Besides, I think our discussion is very significant."

"I don't know what to say."

"Try saying, ‘thank you, Brian.'"

"Thank you, Asshole."

"Close enough. So, how are you really? JT getting any lately?"

"Brian, you're beginning to sound like Emmett, he wants all the gory details. I, what I mean is, JT is a little confused. He doesn't know the rules around here, so he usually goes home after work, takes walks on the beach and sketches a lot. What does Rage want him to do?"

"Sunshine."

"Please Brian, JT really needs to know. He's lonely, he misses Rage so much, he misses his family, he gets scared sometimes. What would Rage do?"

"Rage isn't as mature as JT, he'd probably go out on the prowl and do something really stupid, full pain management mode. JT's not like that, he'll be very careful. If he wants his dick sucked then he'd make sure he's in a backroom somewhere, in a popular club. No back alleys for JT, Rage couldn't take it if JT got hurt. Rage is too far away and may not get there in time. If JT wants to get laid, Rage would prefer that JT demonstrates how versatile he is; JT may look like a little twink bottom boy but he's not. JT is a very good top. Rage knows the truth about JT, but Rage conveniently puts that knowledge out of his brain and uses his mind controlling powers to keep his JT his bottom boy."

"JT remembers, ‘Drop your pants, bend over.' Surely you can use your amazing super powers for something more constructive than that?"

"Try as I might Sunshine, I can't think of anything else right now. Rage misses his JT. He misses the smell of his hair, the softness of his pale skin, his smile, the way he laughs and even the way he hogs Rage's restorative bed. Rage has a secret, a secret that no one not even his best friend knows. Rage has had his dick sucked a few times but no one can compare to JT and there hasn't been any saving of Gayopolis, one fuck at a time. Rage has gotten boring in his old age. His alter ego goes to his agency which, by the way, is doing fabulously, works all day like a dog until his bitch assistant pushes him out the door. Do I have you to thank for that one? Don't answer that, I really don't want to know. And who put the bug up Debbie's ass that I'm not eating? She's here at least three times a week bringing me food. I'm going to get fat. Fat. Boring. Pathetic."

"No, never fat or boring and certainly not pathetic. Rage has matured. He has a lot of responsibilities and he needs to consider his health. Making sure Rage stays healthy so he can keep Gayopolis safe for perverts is very important work. JT would be lost without Rage."

"Nonsense, JT will do fine without Rage, besides in the world of Gayopolis there are many who could take his place."

"No, there isn't, no one could ever takes Rage's place. He's always there, wherever JT goes, no matter who he's with, Rage is always there. JT can never forget. JT gets hard just thinking about Rage. Late at night when I'm, when JT is alone in his bed he thinks of Rage. Rage's long hard body, the way his muscles ripple under his costume, the way Rage's cock can stay hard all night long. The way he holds JT after they fuck, the way JT feels safe in his arms. For JT, there could never be any other man. Brian, I'm,... my,... so hard."

"Lay down, Sunshine. Take that beautiful thick cock out. Slowly touch yourself, real slow. That's it, gently stroke yourself, make it last. Are you leaking? Spread it around. Mmm, I can almost taste you, sweet and salty. The smell of your soft pubes tickling my nose. Your tight ass in my hands; my dick buried balls deep inside you. You wanna cum?"

"Yes, need to..."

"Come on, Justin, cum for me. NOW!"

"Augh, UH!"

"You still with me, little boy?"

"Mmm, yeah. I haven't cum that hard since, since I left. Thank you Brian."

"My pleasure, Sunshine. Is JT feeling any better?"

"Yes, I think he is. He seems to have a greater understanding about how to behave, of what's expected of him. And he's come to the conclusion that taking walks on the beach, by himself, is not such a bad thing. And that just because he's far from home, it doesn't mean he has to act like an asshole and suck and fuck everything that moves cause JT has nothing to prove to anyone. There's nothing wrong in wanting to stay true to Rage, even if it is in an unconventional way. JT has nothing to fear cause Rage is there, looking after him, and with free minutes. Yeah, everything is okay now."

"Glad that's settled. We were beginning to sound like a pair of lesbians and you know how that makes my dick soft. Now I have one more matter to discuss with you before you go on your merry little way. What the fuck did you say to Cynthia?"

Look Through My Window

(Phillips)

And the rain beats on my roof

And it does not ask for proof

It's not that lovers are unkind

He always said there'd come a time

When one would leave and one stay behind

We both knew people sometimes change

And lovers sometimes rearrange

And nothing's quite as sure as change

And the rain beats on my roof

Look through my window to the street below

See the people hurryin' by

With someone to meet, some place to go

And I know I should let go

He always said "I'm not like you"

"When love is dead for me it's through"

"And I will find and love someone new"

Look through my window, yeah, to the street below

See the people hurryin' by

With someone to meet, some place to go

And I know I should let go

I must admit he knew his mind

And it will not take him long to find

Another place where the sun will shine

And the rain beats on my roof

If I still require proof

Well the rain beats on my roof (He's gone)

If I still require proof (He's gone)

Well the rain beats on my roof (Look through my window)

If I still require proof (All the people)

Well the rain beats on my roof (I love him)

If I still require proof (He's gone)

***************************************

From his vantage point, he can see all of Tremont, busy on this damp Monday afternoon. The buzz of the traffic, the local inhabitants, hurrying to their next rendezvous. Valentine's day, he had no one to meet, no place to go. He couldn't bear to go to work. All that red, the hearts and stupid Cupid decorations his staff insisted on. Better to work from home today.

At Babylon the previous Saturday night, no one caught his eye. It was inevitable that his ‘one time only' rule would come to bite him on the ass. No one left to do. He made a pointless trip to the backroom only to slip out into the alley then head for the diner. The guys never questioned his absence from the club nor his early arrival at the diner. His friends joined him in his booth to gossip. He nodded and smirked a few times then pushed his way out, grunting a goodnight.

Monday afternoon with no place to be, no where to go, no one to be with.

He crossed to the book shelves and began to reorganize, sighing loudly at the collection of completed sketch books. He took down each one, gave them a cursory swipe with a dust rag then peeked between the haggard covers. Hundreds of sketches of himself, thousands of dick doodles. Sweet sketches of Gus, several of Lindsey and the guys. He could almost hear the scratch of the charcoal gliding across the pages. Noting the dates on the corners of the pages and on the covers of the books, he placed them back on the shelf in order.

With his already pristine loft sparkling clean, he decided to do some work at his computer. He sat at his desk to boot up.

He smiled as his email sprang to life with dozens of messages from him. Some happy, some forlorn, some just rambles of the day's events. He read each one, answering some with a word or two; replying to others with long words of wisdom when warranted. Sending, then saving the lot in his designated ‘Sunshine file.' Months of emails overloading his computer's memory. Determined not to delete them until he came home for good. Little pieces of sunshine in his dark Pittsburgh loft.

‘Get a grip, Kinney. You don't need this. He's having a hell of a time. Let him go. Find someone else to fuck with.'

His hand hovered on the mouse.

Right click-delete. That's all it takes to free up the memory. Right click-delete.

He removed his hand from the mouse. The Sunshine file remains.

The ringing of his cell phone breaks the silence.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Brian."

"Hiya, Sunshine."

"How was Babylon the other night? See anyone good?"

"One or two. You? Plow any hot tanned L.A. asses?"

"One or two. You have time to talk? Don't want to disrupt your routine."

"I think I can fit you in. So tell me, how's the weather? Oh, and Justin, happy Valentine's Day."

Words of Love

(Phillips)

Words of love, so soft and tender

Won't win a boys heart anymore

If you love him then you must send him

Somewhere where he's never been before

Worn out phrases and longing gazes

Won't get you where you want to go, no!

Words of love, soft and tender

Won't win him

You oughta know by now

You oughta know, you oughta know by now

Words of love, soft and tender

Won't win him anymore

You oughta know by now

You oughta know, you oughta know by now

Words of love, soft and tender

Won't win a boys heart anymore

If you love him then you must send him

Somewhere where he's never been before

Worn out phrases and longing gazes

Won't get you where you want to go

Words of love, soft and tender

Won't win him anymore, anymore

******************************

"Come on, Justin. You've been cooped up in this office for months now. You've done your part, live a little. Come on out with us."

"It's okay, Brett. I'm really not in the partying mood."

"You have to eat, don't you? Look, every day since you got out here, you come to the studio bright and early and are one of the last ones to leave. Think I didn't notice? I know some of the crew has asked you out, for dinner I mean and you usually turn them down. It's a beautiful night. A few of us are getting together for dinner then we're going to the clubs. You can at least join us for dinner. If you're still not the partying mood, you can cab it back to the beach house. How's that sound?"

"Okay, you convinced me. Where should we meet up?"

*****************************

"Justin, my man, so glad you could make it! You know Connor, this is Sammy and his partner Jeff, and this is Greg. Guys, this is Justin Taylor, the artistic genius behind Rage. Have a seat, Justin."

"Hey, Justin."

"Hi, Connor."

"So, you created Rage?"

"Actually, Michael Novotny created Rage, I just draw him, Sammy."

"He's sooo hot. Is it true he's based on a real guy?"

"Yes he is, my partner, Brian."

"If he's half as hung as you drew him, I'd never get out of his bed, let alone come to the other side of the country."

"You've seen the comic?"

"Seen it? I have each issue! I love Rage. Zephyr's kinda cute too, and JT, he's a little hottie. He and Rage make one hell of a hot couple. The first issue was a little graphic though, that bashing stuff, made me do double takes every time I walked home late at night for months. But Rage saved the day."

"Yes he did."

"So Justin, what do you do, back home I mean."

"Well, Greg, I'm a student at PIFA and I wait tables at the Liberty diner. Sometimes I'll do mock up ads for Kinnetic, Brian's ad agency."

"Your joking, right? You're a great artist. Why the hell are you working at a diner? Brian a little stingy with the cash?"

"I like to pay my own way. And Brian is never stingy, he's the most generous person I've ever known."

"Sure he is, that's why you're waiting tables while he's wining and dining clients. Sounds real generous."

"He is. He paid my tuition when my father decided that his queer son's education wasn't worth it and got me a computer with the all the latest art graphic programs so I could..."

"Could what?"

"Draw again."

"I don't understand. What do you mean draw again?"

"After the bashing, I couldn't hold a pencil, let alone sketch. The program let me sketch while I got my dexterity back. I still get cramps if I draw or paint for a long time."

"After the bashing? Hold on, Justin Taylor, JT? You're JT?!"

"Yes."

"And the bashing was for real?"

"Yes. The night of my senior prom, Brian saved me."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"And he lets you go out by yourself?"

"Brian doesn't "LET" me do anything. He supports my art and my decisions, even the stupid ones. And before you ask, I left Brian for a musician and he took me back when I realized what a big mistake I made. He also supported my political views even though it cost him everything, almost everything. A local election, you wouldn't be interested."

"Not interested? Don't play coy, tell us."

"The local police chief was running for mayor and the agency Brian and I worked for was handling the PR. When I found out what a homophobe Stockwell was, I created posters and put them up all over town. Brian was really pissed, that was before we found out that Stockwell squashed any investigations into gays being murdered and his former partner had killed a young hustler. Brian and I got some evidence against him but no one would listen. By that time Stockwell and Vance, the owner of the agency, found out about Brian's and my involvement in the posters. I was suspended from school and Brian got fired. But that didn't stop Brian. He sold everything he owned, created a public awareness ad and bought air time to the tune of $100,000.00. Stockwell lost and eventually got indited for conspiracy. Everything's okay now. Brian started his own agency and I got reinstated."

"You sound like you really admire him."

"Yes, I do. What's not to admire."

"And you love him."

"Yeah."

"He romantic?"

"Brian does not do romance, his actions speak louder than words."

"So you don't need the words?"

"No, not from Brian, I don't need the words anymore besides, he sooo loves me....ya know, I'm starving, let's order!"

California Dreamin'

(Phillips-Phillips)

All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray

I've been for a walk on a winter's day

I'd be safe and warm if I was in L.A.

California dreamin' on such a winter's day

Stopped in to a church I passed along the way

Well I got down on my knees and I pretend to pray

You know the preacher liked the cold

He knows I'm gonna stay

California dreamin' on such a winter's day

All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray

I've been for a walk on a winter's day

If I didn't tell him I could leave today

California dreamin' on such a winter's day

California dreamin' on such a winter's day

California dreamin' on such a winter's day

*****************************************

"Brian?"

"Father Tom."

"What brings you in here?"

"The rain."

"Ah. It will come back."

"Huh?"

"The sunshine, it will come back."

"Of that, I have no doubt. Find any lost souls in the backroom lately Father?"

"A few."

"Saved any?"

"One or two."

"Mm."

"You know, a lesser man, than Brian Kinney, would be freaking by now if his young, good looking boyfriend..."

"Partner."

"Partner; went off to find fame and fortune in L.A. all alone. But not Brian Kinney."

"Not, Brian Kinney."

"He's doing something wonderful for the community, takes guts."

"I know."

"You must be very proud of him."

"I am....can I ask you something?"

"Go on."

"Knowing what, who you are, what keeps you here?"

"In the church?"

"Yes."

"Faith. And the hope that I can lessen the intolerance. Educate those who believe that God only loves heterosexuals. He doesn't you know, God loves all of us. Does Brian Kinney have faith?"

"Yes."

"Really? You surprise me. What does Brian Kinney have faith in?"

"In Sunshine."

**************************

Suffering

Autumn is here inside my heart

When there's springtime in the air

Loneliness is tearing me apart

Being lost makes me scared

I keep on asking the gods above to send my love back to me

Oh please let these days and weeks

Pass by so quickly

Nobody suffers like I do

Nobody else, oh no

Nobody suffers like I do

Nobody else but you

You had to leave, I know

And we knew it would be tough

You said you would be back soon

Soon is not soon enough

Through this waiting in vain

All this darkness and pain

I've been crying for you, now I'm dying

When this test is at the end

I hope you'll understand

That you're all that I've got

Oh darling

My Boy

(Robinson-White)

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day

And when it's cold outside I've got the month of May

I guess you'll say

What can make me feel this way?

My boy, I'm talkin' 'bout my boy

I've got so much honey the bees envy me

I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the tree

I guess you'll say

What can make me feel this way?

My boy, I'm talkin' 'bout my boy

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

I don't need money, fortune or fame

I got all the riches, baby, that one man can claim

I guess you'll say

What can make me feel this way?

My boy, talkin' 'bout my boy

I've got so much honey the bees envy me

I got a sweeter song than the birds in the tree

Don't need no fortune, no money or fame

'cause when I got my boy, I got all the riches one man can claim

Talkin' 'bout my boy, yeah my boy

************************

Saturday afternoon at the Liberty Diner. Brian and the boys have squeezed themselves into a booth. Endless chatter, the usual Liberty lunch crowd and Debbie the reigning queen amongst waitresses shouting out her orders. Just another typical Saturday at the diner.

Brian felt distracted, 24 hours to go until Justin comes back. Twenty four hours before Brian would pick Justin up from the airport, bring him to the loft and fuck him into the mattress, the floor, the post in the living room, the sofa, the table, the etc. Brian's leg started to jiggle. A gentle pop to the side of his head brought Brian out of his Sunshine fog.

"Ow, what the fuck was that for, Deb?"

"You think I have all day to wait? Everyone's ordered."

"Deb, sweetie, don't be so hard on Brian. He's got his mind on more important things than food."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"You know Ma, Justin's coming back tomorrow. And he's bringing back a rough cut of the movie. I'm gonna watch it all afternoon."

"Oh Brian, honey, how could I forget. You'll need something more substantial than a dry turkey sandwich on whole wheat. Don't worry kiddo, I'll take care of your order. Be right back with your drinks."

"Debbie, don't...shit. If she comes back with hunk of that god awful meatloaf, I'm leaving."

"She means well."

"Ben, if you think so, you eat it."

"No thanks, I'll pass. What time does Justin's flight get in?"

"About one. Jennifer and I will get him."

"How sweet. You and the mother-in-law, picking up our little princess. I think I'm going to cry."

"Emmett, shed one tear on my shirt, you die."

"Spoilsport."

"Now I understand why Cynthia rearranged this weeks meetings. I guess we won’t be seeing much of you for the next few days."

"That's right, Theodore. And fuck up one meeting with a client, I will have your ass."

"Promise?" [A Kinney death glare.] "Okay, okay, I'm joking. We only have renewals on Monday and Tuesday and they're just a formality. There are a few new clients on Thursday. You have enough time to overdose on Sunshine by then. The meetings are all scheduled early. If you play your cards right, you could be back to the loft and back to bed by four."

"Good."

"Hey Brian, I could fill in for your boyfriend. You know, a practice run. Word has it you haven't gotten much lately."

"Cut it out, Hunter. This is Brian fuckin' Kinney. And he doesn't need your help or anyone elses, right Brian?"

"Yeah."

At that moment, Debbie brought lunch. A salad for Ben, burgers for Hunter and Michael, a tuna sandwich for Ted and the pink plate special for Emmett, which turned out to be the meatloaf. Brian was the last to be served. He closed his eyes expecting the worst. A hush descended on the table as Debbie served up a quartered roasted chicken, without skin, garnished with sprigs of Rosemary, baked potato, sauteed baby asparagus and a small salad with vinaigrette dressing on the side. Brian opened one eye then the other. The aroma was amazing and the sight, magnificent, even Ben was drooling. Brian gaped at his meal then stared up at Debbie in disbelief.

"Kiddo, with all the fucking and sucking that's gonna happen tomorrow, a turkey sandwich is not enough to keep your furnace stoked. We gotta keep your strength up, not to mention your dick. If I know you and my Sunshine, we won’t see you two for days."

Brian beamed with just a touch of blush to his tanned cheeks. Emmett, Ted and Ben giggled till they cried. Hunter looked crushed and Michael huffed into his burger. Another pop to Brian's head broke the spell. With a collective, "thank you, Debbie," the boys ate their respective meals.

*********************************

With full bellies, the gang leaned back into the booth to revel with satisfaction. Sipping their drinks, Ted and Emmett discussed the latest gossip of who was doing whom, Mikey rambled on about his daughter and Hunter continued to sulk about him NOT doing Brian. The munchers were mentioned in passing. Brian's leg began to jiggle, again. Twenty-two hours to go. Brian wanted to pace. He wanted to...

"Oh my god, Sunshine!"

Brian looked up and there, walking through the door was Justin. His hair longer and sun bleached. His skin slightly tanned, flushed from rushing into the diner. A hush descended upon the diner. Brian arose out of the booth to meet Justin in the middle of the diner. Brian gave Justin a look that said, ‘you're early.' Justin answered with a shrug of his shoulders that could only mean, ‘I couldn't wait.'

The lovers gazed at each, Justin's sunshine smile at full blaze, tears shining in his blue eyes. Brian glowed with happiness and pride. Tentative fingers reached out to caress each other's face, almost not believing they were standing a breath apart. Brian cupped Justin's face and placed a gentle kiss to his lips, not wanting to share his reunion with the rest of Liberty.

As in a dream, time felt like it stood still, the diner watched the king and consort reunite after months of separation. Then as if a switch was pulled, Justin leapt into Brian's arms, laughing with delight. Brian held on tight and swung Justin around the diner, laughing with Justin.

For Michael, Justin placed the Rage video on the table.

For Justin, Brian whispered into his ear, "my boy's home."

For the diner, Brian bellowed, "well boys, gotta go, something's come up!"

Awakened from their long dream, Brian and Justin raced for the loft!