Title: Under the Veil of Darkness…
Story Type: AU
Word Count: 4482
Warnings: Anti-Michael, Passion and Lust…
Beta Queen: Bigj52

Summary: Brian’s lost in a downward spiral since Justin’s bashing left him in a coma. But they share a love that refuses to die. Now they just need to find their way back to one another.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…


Under the Veil of Darkness

Brian’s life has changed so much since he lost Justin. He’s gone through so many phases, starting with guilt, sorrow, hopelessness and despair. He hides himself away from his friends and most nights he drinks himself into a stupor. The only time he is seen is when he’s on the prowl, indulging himself in sex and drugs. He feels lost, unable to move forward, and haunted by his past. Ryder reluctantly gave him a leave of absence from his job, not wanting to lose his best ad exec. But if Brian doesn’t return to work soon, he’ll no longer have a job to return to. The only time he feels free is when he dreams, soaring through the night sky, letting of all his grief and pain fade away, if only for a little while.

Justin’s in limbo, some place between life and death. He’s been in a coma since the night of the bashing. Jennifer blames Brian for Justin’s assault, and Brian blames himself, even though they all know it is Chris Hobbs’s fault. The only time Craig has ever come to see his son, is when he insisted that the doctors disconnect his life support. That’s when all hell broke loose. Brian and Craig fought in the hallway outside of Justin’s hospital room. Craig ended up with a broken jaw, and a dislocated shoulder. Brian ended up with a black eye, and a broken arm. Brian was arrested and ended up serving three weeks in the county jail. When he was released Jennifer asked him to stay away, and never come back to the hospital again.

But Brian couldn’t stay away. He needed to be close to Justin, even if he couldn’t sit by his bed. He watched over him from the hallway each and every night. Their need for one another only grew stronger as days became months. Brian would often sense Justin was near, he was sure he felt his presence even if he couldn’t see him. He instinctually knew when Justin was having a bad dream, and it killed him to not be able to hold him and calm him down. Sometimes Justin could sense Brian watching over him, and he wanted nothing more than to go to him.

The two of them share a connection that is so resilient, that they often dream the same dream. They feel it so strongly, that they’re sure they can feel each other’s touch. The sensation of hands caressing one another’s skin, and the beautiful rhythm of them thrusting with abandon until they reach their climax together. They both always wake to soaked sheets, and the despair of knowing it was all a dream. Or was it?

Sometimes Brian will be sitting on his leather sofa smoking a joint, and he’s sure he can smell Justin’s scent, a faint trace of his mango and coconut shampoo, mixed with their scent of sex. Of course he’s stoned, and he assumes he’s just imagining it, but there are other things. He’ll find one of Justin’s sketchbooks on the coffee table. Opening it, he sees drawings of them that he has never seen before. Brian always puts the sketchbook back in the bookcase, yet he finds it again on the kitchen counter, or in the middle of the bed. At first he thought he was going insane, and then he assumes he took it out to look at during one of his drunken evenings. He never mentions these aberrations to anyone. He knows they won’t believe him, he can barely believe them himself. He always writes it off to his loneliness, broken heart, and his alcohol and drug-induced state of mind.

When Michael and Lindsay stop by to see him, he always looks so sad and depressed. They say that he needs to move on, to forget about Justin, never neglecting to say, ‘if Justin ever regains consciousness, he would be better if Brian wasn’t in his life.’ This breaks his heart even more, if that’s possible. He needs his friends’ support, but all he gets is pity and disdain. It’s as if they now all blame him for Justin’s bashing. They act like what he and Justin had didn’t mean anything, that Justin was just a trick. But he knows that was never true, and they know it too, no matter how much he denied it at the time.

Justin feels trapped, entombed in his sleeping body, and his heart refuses to let go of his love for Brian. His mind drifts back to all the times they’ve spent together. Both of them lazing around the loft, and the many deep conversations they had about life, and their future. Yes, they both wanted a future together. Even if they never mentioned it to anyone else. Justin was always supportive of Brian’s dreams of moving away from Pittsburgh, and opening up his own advertising firm. It wasn’t that they lived their life in secret, it was more that they never got the support and understanding from those who claimed to be their makeshift family.

Justin drifts, aimlessly watching over the family he once had. They might not have been his blood, but they were the ones who made him feel welcome and loved. Well, everyone except Michael. Michael has always been so insecure, clinging to his best friend. Even though Michael knows their friendship is slipping away, it only makes him hold on tighter to Brian. His and Brian’s shared interests have faded, and the only thing they have in common now is partying at Woody’s and Babylon, and even that has diminished since Justin entered Brian’s life. Yet Michael still clings to Brian, sure that he can make him see that they love each other, and they belong together.

When Justin sleeps he can feel Brian close by. It comforts him, and makes him believe that they’ll be together again in the future. Sometimes he feels like he’s flying. He loves the sensation of being free, and recently in his dreams he and Brian are flying together through the night sky. He’s developed the ability to astroplane, spending most of his time at the loft, with and without Brian. That’s where he feels most comfortable. Sometimes he just sits next to Brian, wishing he could heal his broken heart. When Brian passes out he’ll often lay down next to him, and Brian naturally pulls him close. They both feel the connection, but Brian doesn’t realize that Justin’s right there with him. He’s still convinced that it’s all his imagination, or chalks it up to his drunkenness.

But as Justin’s sketchbooks fill up with new drawings, Brian replaces them along with more pencils. One night in his drunken stupor Brian is sure he saw Justin. He was standing in front of the mirror, and Justin was standing behind him. But Brian quickly looked away, because seeing Justin as a dark angel frightened him. He hated to think that it was some kind of omen that Justin was close to death. But then, more things started happening in the loft. Sometimes things were out of place, or more correctly they were often where Justin would put them. Then once he saw the impression of Justin’s body sleeping on the bed. Brian swore he could hear Justin snoring, just like he always did.

He keeps thinking he saw just a glimpse of Justin out of the corner of his eye, and then there were the feathers. Brian often found a black feather or two on the floor, or near the bed. It disturbed him so much he thought that someone was trying to drive him crazy. He began drinking more, which didn’t help. Strange things just kept happening. Justin’s drawing pencils were being used, and he found a beautiful picture of them together in flight. Brian couldn’t stop looking at the drawing, where they were both dressed in black, and both had wings.

So Justin continued to try and reach out to Brian, but his recent attempts seemed to backfire. He was worried about Brian’s drinking and drug use. He was surprised by how his abilities seem to become stronger. He found that he could now hold onto objects longer, and he was able to complete simple tasks without much trouble. So every morning after Brian left to have breakfast at the diner, he would clean up all the whisky bottles, empty ashtrays and put his stash away. Justin worries, as he watches Brian’s self-destructive behavior spin out of control. He feels for his man, now knowing that Brian truly loves him. Justin needs to lead Brian back from the edge of despair. But for all his newfound abilities, he has yet to figure out how to communicate with Brian. Brian seems to write off all his attempts, dismissing them as figments of his imagination.

Justin rarely spends time in his hospital room anymore, now that he’s learned to master his powers to move among the living. This morning he’s sitting next to Brian in the diner, listening to Emmett’s news that he’ll be helping Mysterious Marilyn at the Halloween Street Fair. Just then Michael comes in and sits with them, making Justin have to move and sit on Brian’s lap. Debbie comes over to take their orders, looking sad, with her eyes red from crying.

“What’s wrong, Ma?”

“I talked to Jennifer last night, and she said the doctors are concerned that Justin’s brain waves are diminishing. They’re afraid he might not have much time left, he seems to be slipping away.”

Brian chokes up, unable to stop the tears from welling in his eyes.

“I’m surprised he’s lasted this long. I’m sure he must be brain dead by now.”

Debbie smacks him across the back of his head.

“Michael Charles Novotny! That’s a horrible thing to say. Can’t you see Brian is hurting?”

Turning to Brian, Michael says. “Christ, Brian! When are you going to stop pining for that twink? Just forget about him.”

Brian pushes Michael out of the booth and storms out of the diner. Once outside he just starts running, headed no place in particular. Justin’s freaked out and quickly returns to the hospital. He sits next to Jennifer, watching her cry uncontrollably. He doesn’t know what to do, and he’s starting to get a headache. He returns to his body, exhausted, needing rest, and needing to figure out how to make his body respond so he can return to the living. There’s nothing he’d like more than to return to Brian and share his life.

~~~

Devil’s Night, Halloween Eve…

“Mikey, what are you doing here?”

“You need to get out. You never go out with us anymore.”

“It’s not happening. I’m perfectly happy here at home.”

Michael walks around the loft, trying to think of something to change Brian’s mind.

“What’s with all the black feathers? Did your maid’s feather duster fall apart?”

Brian just wants him to leave, or at least just shut up, so he eventually agrees to go out with Michael.

“I can’t believe you talked me into coming to this breeder fair.”

“Oh, come on. It’s for Em.”

“He hardly needs the Halloween street fair to dress up like a belly dancer. Have you seen the outfits he’s been wearing lately?”

“He’s out of work, and Mysterious Marilyn gave him a job. He really needs the money.”

“Apparently so does Mysterious Marilyn, if she’s fortune telling in a tent at breeder central.”

“There’s Emmett!”

“Christ, Mikey, don’t piss yourself.”

Michael rushes towards Emmett. Brian shakes his head wondering for the umpteenth time why he is here, instead of the loft, or the backroom of Babylon. Just then he knocks shoulders with his dark angel, and passes right through him. He feels a slight chill, and an eerie sensation that something important is about to happen.

“Hey, Brian! Hurry up. I got us tickets to get our fortunes told.”

“God, Mikey! This is so pathetic!”

“Oh, come on. It will be fun.”

Marilyn smiles at the boys as they take their seats across from him.

Enthusiastically, Michael asks, “When will we find true love?”

“Leave me the fuck out of this, Michael!”

“Brian, come on…”

“Yes, Brian, don’t you want to know when you’ll meet your true love?”

“What do you mean when he’ll meet him?”

“Michael, please. I’m doing Brian’s reading first.”

Michael pouts and crosses his arms over his chest, annoyed. Doesn’t Mysterious Marilyn know that he’s Brian’s true love?

“Now, Brian, put out your hands, palm side up.”

“You know I don’t believe in love. True or any other kind.”

“Oh, I think you do, now don’t you?”

Brian rolls his eyes, and puts his hands on the table. He can’t help being grateful that they’re inside a dark tent and no one can see him. He feels ridiculous.

Marilyn runs her fingers across Brian lifeline. “Your journey has many possibilities, and it’s up to you which one you choose to travel. But I can tell you that you’ve already crossed paths with the one you’re meant to spend your life with. You just need to open your heart, and allow your love to grow.”

Michael grins as he thinks, ‘Yeah, Marilyn knows I’m the only one for Brian.’

“Yeah! Right! That was Mikey’s question. What about mine?”

Michael whines, “You didn’t ask a question, Brian…”

But Marilyn knows what’s in Brian’s heart, he can feel his loneliness and sorrow. He just hopes he has the power to perform a miracle, sensing Justin is nearby. Looking back at Brian, he continues his reading.

“You will have a very successful career, and with the help of your life partner, you’ll open your own advertising firm. You’ll eventually become of the most prosperous and affluent advertisers in North America.”

Michael practically falls off his chair. “Oh my God, Brian! We’re going to be rich!”

Brian glares at him, and then says. “What do you mean, we’re?”

Marilyn looks at Michael like he’s an idiot. “Let’s do your reading now, Michael. But it may not be what you’re expecting.”

Marilyn takes his hands and tells him to concentrate and to look into the crystal ball. She shakes her head, and tells him to stop fidgeting and focus. She’s still discouraged as she sees his future, so she suggests doing a tarot card reading.

She turns over seven cards, and tries not to frown when she sees his prediction. He actually looks giddy, while Marilyn looks concerned and slightly worried for him. Maybe we should do a twelve-card reading. But that isn’t much better. She’s never seen a reading like this. They’re all face cards, and reversed, except the last one and they’re in alphabetical order.

Card One Chariot (Reversed) lack of control, lack of direction, aggression.

Card Two Death (Reversed) fear of change, holding on, stagnation, decay.

Card Three Emperor (Reversed) tyranny, rigidity, coldness.

Card Four Hermit (Reversed) loneliness, isolation, lost your way.

Card Five Judgment (Reversed) lack of self-awareness, doubt, and self-loathing.

Card Six Justice (Reversed) dishonesty, unaccountability, unfairness.

Card Seven Lovers (Reversed) loss of balance, one-sidedness, and disharmony.

Card Eight Magician (Reversed) trickery, illusions, out of touch.

Card Nine Moon (Reversed) confusion, fear, misinterpretation.

Card Ten Strength (Reversed) self-doubt, weakness, insecurity.

Card Eleven Sun (Reversed) negativity, depression, sadness.

Card Twelve Tower sudden upheaval, broken pride, disaster.

“Wow! Look at this, Brian. I got the lovers!”

Beaming, he kisses Brian on the cheek. “I knew this was a great idea.”

Brian and Marilyn’s eyes meet, and they both know this reading is a disaster and a dire prediction. Brian’s college roommate dabbled in reading tarot cards, not that he ever really cared for it. But he does remember some of the meanings, especially the reverse meaning.

“Wait, you put the last card facing the wrong direction. All the others are facing me.”

Just then Emmett comes running in. “It’s Ted! You guys have to stop him. He’s drunk, and he’s agreed to stand as the target for the knife thrower! He’s going to get killed!”

They jump up from the table, as Marilyn pushes it a bit hard, and of course it tips over. That was one reading she never wants to give. Michael and Emmett run ahead of Brian, rushing towards the knife thrower. Ted’s swaying and weaving as he leans against the corkboard. He’s laughing hysterically, egging on the bald man who looks like a gypsy. Emmett screams, and Michael covers his eyes as the knife sails through the air. When he’s done, Ted’s collar, sleeves, and pant cuffs are pinning him to the human dartboard. Once he’s released from the dartboard, he and the big bear leave the amusement park together. They’re headed to the bear’s house for some more enjoyable entertainment.

Brian’s distracted, thinking about Marilyn’s words, as he reviews all the men he’s bedded in the past. No, Marilyn is just plain wrong, he’d never spend his life with any of them. The only one he’s ever considered sharing his life with, is gone forever. Then he reflects on Michael’s tarot card reading. God, Michael better get it together, or he’s headed for a life of doom and gloom.

“Come on, Brian, let’s go check out the next booth. They sell mood rings and magic potions.”

“Really, Michael?”

“I know, I’m so pathetic!”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Well, come on.”

“I’ll wait out here.”

Michael looks around at the many apothecary jars full of herbs and amber liquids. He waits while the gypsy finishes up with his customer, as Michael picks out two rings. One is an opal emulate, and the other is an old mood ring from the sixties. Finally, it’s Michael turn as he stutters and shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

“I’m looking for a love potion. One that will make him love me forever.”

Wanda looks him up and down. He’s not bad looking but his self-confidence sure is lacking.

“Okay, it will be fifty bucks. But there’s no guarantee that someone you love will you love in return, especially forever.”

“Oh, I know he loves me. He’s just afraid to show it.”

“Maybe, you should wait until he’s ready. Otherwise, the timing might be wrong, and he might not feel the same as you do.”

“No. I know he loves me. He just needs a little push. See, that’s him sitting by the fountain, smoking a cigarette.”

Witching Wanda looks over at Brian and thinks, ‘mister, everybody wants Brian Kinney to fall in love with them’. Then he glances back at Michael.

“You both have to feel your love for one another deep in your heart for it to work. If there is any doubt, it won’t work.”

“It will work. I just know it will work.”

Wanda starts to mix up a love potion, skeptical that it will turn out the way Michael hopes it will. She continues measuring ingredients until she feel it’s just right. She hands Michael a small vial. "Now this is very strong, so only use a couple of drops."

"That's it? You're not going to say some kind of spell or something?"

Wanda thinks. Oh, brother. Really?

"So you want a potion and a spell? It's going to cost ya."

Michael checks his pockets and scraps together a hundred and thirteen dollars.

"This is all I have. Is this enough?"

Wanda grabs the cash, shoving it into her pocket.

"Okay, let's see..."

“Under the darkness of night, the raven takes flight.”
“The moon shines down, like a guiding light.”
“Lifting the gloom that plagues his blight.”
“For what he needs is just out of sight.”
“Open his eyes, his heart and his soul.”
“Allow his Sweet Angel to make him whole.”
“Now is the time to make things right.”
“To end all his pain, for once tonight.”
“So let the Raven take flight, into the night.”
“Healing their souls, for once and for all.”
“Giving them strength, to face down them all.”
“So let them soar, together again, never to part, never again.”

“Wow! That was magical! I don’t know what it means, but I just know it will work.”

Justin is standing behind Michael, smiling at Wanda, thinking maybe for the first time Michael just might be right. Tonight is the night.

“Brian. Look what I got us! They’re friendship rings! Here, put yours on.”

“I’m not wearing your ring, Michael!”

“But, Brian...”

“No buts, Michael!”

“I’ll save it, you just might want it later.”

“I doubt it.”

“Come on, let’s go get a drink, or better yet, let’s go dancing.”

“No. Not tonight.”

“Why not? You never go out to Babylon anymore.”

“What I’m looking for isn’t at Babylon anymore.”

“Brian, please. Just one drink. At Woody’s if you don’t want to go to Babylon.”

“Michael!”

“Come on! Just one drink.”

“Okay, fine. Just one drink.”

They wander into Woody’s…

“Here, let’s sit in the booth in the back.”

“No. Let’s sit here at the bar.”

“Okay.”

The bartender automatically sets a bottle of beer down in front of Michael, and a shot of Beam in front of Brian. Brian downs his in one swift gulp, and stands to leave.

“Brian! That’s not fair, sit back down. I want to spend some time together.”

“Michael. I told you. I don’t want to party tonight.”

“Brian. We need this time to bond. We never spend any time together anymore.”

“Michael. Listen. Are you listening? I’m leaving town. I can’t stay here anymore.”

“What! No. You can’t go.”

“I’m going!”

“I’ll come with you!”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because. I need to do this on my own.”

“But… We… We’re going to be together!”

“Only in your dreams.”

“Okay, let’s have another drink first.”

“Fine! I’m going to take a piss.”

Michael looks over his shoulder to make sure Brian isn’t coming back yet. He takes out the bottle, and pours the potion in. What he didn’t know is there is a plain clothes cop, drinking at the bar across from him.

“What the fuck was that?”

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

“You slipped something into his drink.”

“I did not!”

The cop squeezes his hand until the vial falls onto the floor, and breaks.

“You’re under arrest.”

“What! No! You don’t understand!”

“I understand that you just tried to drug your friend.”

“No! It. It was just a love potion.”

“Is that what they’re calling it these days?”

“I swear it is!”

“Trust me, there’s no way Brian Kinney is ever going to fall in love with you!”

“What’s going on here?”

“Brian, you have to help me!”

“Your so-called best friend just tried to drug you. He’s under arrest.”

Brian glares at Michael, then he turns and leaves, heading to the hospital to watch over Justin. But when he arrives there’s a flurry of doctors, nurses rushing in and out of Justin’s room. He knows he can’t stay, and he can’t help thinking his life can’t get any worse. He makes his way back to the loft, ready to pour himself a shot of whiskey, but all the bottles are empty. He’s frustrated, because he knows he bought several bottles yesterday. He might he drinking too much these days, but there’s no way he drank that much.

He rolls a joint, and snuggles down in bed, ready to watch one of the many porno tapes he and Justin made. He could use some relief, and there’s nothing better than jacking off as he watches his beautiful Justin and him together. Lighting the joint, he takes a deep toke and hits the play button. He just stares at the screen, it’s not the tape he left in the player from the night before. It’s one he’s never since before, one of him sleeping with his sweet angel’s wings wrapped around him. He thinks it’s just another cruel trick his mind is playing on him, so he goes up on the roof and stands close to the edge. He’s frightened by the scene at the hospital, so sure he’s lost Justin forever. He closes his eyes as he steps off the edge. A gust of wind comes up, and he naturally spreads his arms, as he’s carried away into the night sky. It’s just like his dreams, with him soaring, riding the wind currents and feeling free.

He swoops down, stopping to perch on the roof of the Fairmount Hotel, ironically the same hotel where Justin’s prom took place. His eyes fill with tears, as he remembers that night. It was the best and the worst night of his life. He can’t stop the tears from falling, he just wants all his pain to stop. He’d give anything to hold his sweet angel once again. He’d tell him all the things he was afraid to say before. He’s no longer frightened to let his love show; he’d do anything to have another chance. It’s been a long time since he’s prayed, but he gets down on his knees and pleads his case to a lord that he’s sure has forgotten him. He promises to love Justin with all his heart, to always be there for him, and support him. For without Justin by his side, his life isn’t worth living. He feels a chill in the air, and then he’s surrounded by the warmth of his sweet angel’s wings. He looks up into Justin’s eyes, unsure of what he’s seeing. Justin reaches over and wipes his tears away.

Brian reaches out and runs his hand down Justin face, he feels so real. Taking a chance he runs his fingers through Justin’s silky blond hair, then he places his hand behind his neck. Their lips touch, and they both feel the electricity flow between them. Their hearts beat as one and they both know that a miracle has taken place. They hold each other tight, afraid it might all disappear.

“Oh, Justin. I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

“I know. I’ve always known.”

“I’m never letting you go.”

“You better not. We’ve gone through too much at let it slip away.”

“Now what?”

“Whatever we want. The sky’s the limit.”

“I can’t believe you just said that.”

“I couldn’t resist.”

“Come on, let’s go home.”

~~~

Jennifer’s crying hysterically. “Deb, Debbie. Justin’s gone.”

“I’m so sorry, Jen. What can I do to help? Do you want me to call the others?”

“No, Deb. I mean, Justin’s gone. He left the hospital, one of the nurses said she saw him leave out the back door.”

“He’s awake?”

“I guess so. I went with the doctor to talk about what to expect after we turn off his life support. When we came back, his bed was empty.”

“So he just walked away?”

“I guess so, but where would he go?”

“To see Brian… Some loves are just too strong to ever die.”

The End