It Don't Matter to Me

"Bri?"

"Hey, Mikey. What are you doing here?"

"I came to rescue you."

"I didn't know I needed rescuing."

"It's Friday night, Brian fucking Kinney does not stay home alone on Friday night, unless of course you have a trick waiting for you in the bedroom," Mikey said while straining to see up the bedroom steps.

"No, Mikey, no trick."

"Then why are you sitting alone in the dark when you could be fucking and getting sucked off in the backroom."

"Maybe I'm not in the mood."

"You feeling okay?" Mikey reached out to touch Brian's face.

"Yes, you asshole," Brian groused as he batted away Mikey's hand. "I'm fine. Just a little tired. It's been a long week, so many tricks, so little time."

"Now there's the stud I know and love. You know I love you, right." Mikey gazed at Brian hopefully.

"Yes, Mikey, I know and I love you too," Brian replied softly with a sigh. Some things never changed.

"You should forget him. Move on."

"Forget who, Michael?"

"That blond little shit. He'll never understand you; you're Brian Kinney for fuck's sake. You have a reputation to uphold....." Mikey went on and on with his brand of logic that only made sense to Michael.

To Brian it sounded like an old "Charley Brown" cartoon where all the adult voices sounded like horns, 'waa, waa, waa'. Brian nodded as Michael tried to make his point. Michael would never get it. He'd never get that there was a connection between Brian and Justin, something that would never go away. No form of pain management could cure it. Brian had come to that revelation a long time ago, and didn't bother to fight it. He had better things to do than to stick his dick up every doable asshole on this side of Pittsburgh. There was only one asshole he wanted. And it was attached to the most exasperating, most tenacious, most smartest, most beautiful and most trying man he had ever met.

The man in question, one Justin Taylor, was off again. Where, Brian wasn't quite sure. Was he with the fiddler, was he in LA, was he in New York? Justin was off doing something or someone far away from Brian. It really didn't matter; all that mattered to Brian was Justin's happiness. And the fact that he wasn't here in the loft with him at the moment. The man who was here was his annoying best friend with the goofy-assed smile trying to get Brian into Babylon.

"Fuck it! You made your point, Mikey. Now shut up and drive us to Babylon. If I'm going to have hear you whine all night I'll need plenty of Beam to do it with."

"Great, the guys will be happy to see you."

"Shit, that's all I need. Is everyone under the impression that I'm pining away?"

"Nah! I set them straight."

"Oh goody."

At Babylon the thumpa thumpa music was, well 'thumpaing.' Brian bought a round of drinks for the guys as every little twink in the place made it his point to parade himself in front of Brian. Brian was really not in the mood and shook his head no.

"Michael, there is something seriously wrong with Brian. I've never known him to turn down so many men before." Ted commented hoping for a Brian Kinney reject.

"Ted, honey, stop drooling over them, and he's turning them all down. This is very serious. Maybe we should find one that looks like, you know."

"Emmett, that's not a good idea, besides, he hated blonds before, you know."

"Well, maybe Brian Kinney has seen the light, because right now he's doing a wonderful impression of straight."

They were all watching Brian; it seemed all of Babylon was watching Brian. Brian downed another shot then grabbed at Mikey's wrist to check the time. It was about midnight. If you weren't hooked up for the night by now, you might never be. Ted and Emmett had that desperate air about them. Brian wasn't sure if he should pity them or himself. He pushed himself off the bar rail, hoping a plausible excuse would grace his lips but nothing came to him. So he said nothing, threw down some money onto the bar and turned to leave.

*****

A flash of blond white hair. The scent of man-child. A distinctive curve of the ass. A glimpse of dazzling smile.

"Hey."

"Hey. What took you…?"

"Flight delayed."

"Oh. Wanna dance?"

"Rather go home and fuck."

"I can do that."

*****

"Michael, who was that with Brian?"

"Who was who?"

"I don't know. I thought I saw Brian walking out with some blond. You don't suppose..."

"Couldn't be, Em. He's gone; I know that for a fact."

"I wouldn't be so sure if I was you, Michael. Those two have a way of finding each other."

"Ted, why would he want one scrawny little blond when he could have..."

"You?"

"No, anyone he chooses!?"

"Maybe it's that scrawny little blond, as you put it, that he wants."

"But why? Why after all they've been through, would HE matter to Brian? I don't get it."

"No, I guess you don't. Goodnight Michael."

"Night guys."

It Don't Matter To Me

It don't matter to me

If you really feel that

You need some time to be free

Time to go out searching for yourself

Hoping to find time to go to find

And it don't matter to me

If you take up with someone

Who's better than me

'Cause your happiness is all I want

For you to find peace your piece of mind

Lotta people have an ego hang-up

'Cause they want to be the only one

How many came before, it really doesn't matter

Just as long as you're the last

Everybody's moving on and try to find out

What's been missing in the past

And it don't matter to me

If your searching brings you back together with me

'Cause there'll always be

An empty room waiting for you

An open heart waiting for you

Time is on my side

'Cause it don't matter to me

It don't matter to me

 

It Don't Matter to Me 2

"Hello, Mikey, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Brian was toying with a pencil when his private line rang.

"Hi, Bri. Ma wants to know why we haven't see much of you lately. She's issuing a summons."

"I've been busy, Michael."

"Oh yeah? With who?" Michael chuckled, he was glad the old Brian was back.

"With business, Michael. You know that thing I do that keeps me in the latest Fall and Spring collections. Business, something you should be concentrating on instead of harassing me." Brian saw Ted at the door holding the contracts for Kinnetik's latest multi-million dollar ad campaign. He waved Ted in.

"Oh, okay Bri. Um, what about the summons?"

"It's only Tuesday, Mikey," Brian snarked, made a brief pass over the contracts he had already memorized and signed at the indicated spots. Ted did a little bow then spirited away the precious papers.

"Well, she just wants to see you," Mikey pleaded with a whine.

"If she wasn't having so much fun with Carl in semi-retirement, your mother would see my pretty face practically every afternoon at the diner for lunch."

"I can't believe you still like those dry turkey sandwiches."

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with turkey. Some of my best friends are turkeys. Bye, Mikey." Brian disconnected the phone as he heard Mikey say 'Bye.'

*****

"This better be good," Brian growled into the phone. He was just finishing his latest and very satisfying round of fucking when the phone rang. Brian rolled off his partner to answer the phone. He would have left it to voice mail but he was expecting a call from Gus.

"Hey, Bri!"

"What is it now, Mikey, I'm busy."

"It's Wednesday night; the guys and I haven't seen you for weeks. We want you to meet us at Woody's."

"You saw me at Babylon."

"But that was three weeks ago. Besides I need to ask you something."

"Mikey, whining is so unbecoming. What do you want to know?" Brian reached over to swipe a blond lock from his lover's beautiful face.

"I want to know if you know where Justin is."

"Justin? What about him?" Brian looked over at the man sharing his bed who merely shrugged, giving Brian a sly smile. Brian stuck his tongue out at him.

"He sent me the latest sketches for Rage but I wanted to discuss them with him."

"Don't you usually have a telephone appointment with Justin every Thursday night to go over your widdle comic?" That comment earned Brian a smack in the ribs. "Ow!" Brian feigned injury.

"What happened, Brian? You okay? Need me to come over?"

"I'm fine Michael, just stubbed my toe. No need to call out the National Guard."

Brian got up from bed and did his impression of Walter Brennan as he hobbled to the bathroom. His bedmate buried his face into a pillow as he cracked up with laughter.

"Well then, the guys and me will see you in an hour at Woody's. If not, we're coming over." Michael hung up the phone so Brian wouldn't have a chance to argue.

"Fuck, Mikey! Can't a guy spend some time alone if he wants to?" Brian snapped the phone shut and tossed it across the room and onto the bed.

"Hey!" a voice called out.

"Sorry." Brian pissed, flushed, then washed his hands.

"So, you're going to Woody's?"

"I don't think I have a choice. It's either that or they invade the loft. I'm sorry."

"Sorry is bullshit, but go. I have plenty to keep me occupied here."

"Oh really?" Brian said with a smirk.

"Yes, really. Someone didn't throw out all this old shit like I asked him. And I have to put together our new double desk."

"I wasn't sure what to throw out and you could have had the desk assembled for you."

"I know but I got used to putting together stuff when I was on my own."

"Just don't hurt yourself and not one scratch on my hardwood floor!"

"Yes, your majesty. Now go take a shower; you stink like sex."

"And you say this as if it's a bad thing." Brian snarked, "Join me?" Brian stood at the bathroom door.

"I'd love to but then I'll just get all stinky and sweaty when I put the desk together."

"Okay," Brian pouted or did a good imitation of a pout. As if Brian Kinney would ever pout. "Only if you let me lick off all your hard earned sweat when I get home." Brian waggled his eyebrows at the younger man.

"You got yourself a deal," the man answered with a kiss to Brian's lips then a smack to Brian's naked ass.

"You're mean." Brian sulked and rubbed his stinging ass as he entered the bathroom.

"Yup, and you like it." The young man giggled then quickly donned his clothes so he could get cracking on their new desk.

*****

"Think he'll show?" Emmett asked Ted as they were seated at a table at Woody's waiting for Michael to bring back beer.

"He'll show. Michael threatened him with loft invasion if he didn't show himself. You know how private he is. He'll show." Emmett and Ted both nodded in agreement.

"I wonder why we haven't seen Brian on the prowl lately?"

"I have no idea, Em. What I do know is that he's been working like a demon lately. And everything that man touches turns to gold. We just closed another contract today, fucking millions!"

"Maybe he's working for two."

"You think he has a boyfriend?"

"What other reason could there be for Brian Kinney to voluntarily pull himself off the market. He certainly hasn't been doing anyone on Liberty for a long time. We would have heard about it." Michael came back with their beers in time to overhear.

"Brian Kinney, boyfriend? Been there, done that and no repeats. The little shit up and left him. Why would Brian do that to himself again?"

"Michael, Justin didn't leave him. They decided together that it was better for Justin to go off on his own for a while. It doesn't necessarily mean it was a bad thing or mutually non-beneficial," Ted tried to reason with Michael.

"Oh come on, Ted. Brian even bought that huge house for the fucker and that didn't get him to stay. No, I don't care what you say, Brian Kinney has learned his lesson. He does not do boy friends," Michael stated emphatically.

Emmett just looked incredulously at Michael then turned to Teddy. "What did he do with the mansion?"

"Turned that sucker into the most posh gay spa on the east coast. It's paid for itself ten times over."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Nope, I swear the man must shit gold. And he's still fucking gorgeous and he has all of his hair." Ted cast his eyes upwards towards his thinning hairline.

"You and me both, Teddy. That's why I keep mine buzzed." Emmett grinned his toothy grin, wagging his head back and forth. "But someone told me that he saw Brian with some hotshot gorgeous little blond. A very stylish blond too. Not a t-shirt or cargo pant in sight."

"Well, if Brian is fucking someone then it's about time he did someone on his own level." Ted and Emmett looked at Michael as if he had grown a third eye. They would have made a remark but the object of their dissertation just walked through the door. Brian looked as sexy as he ever did, slightly fuller with age but hardened with just the right amount of muscle, every gay man's wet dream. He went to the bar for a light beer then joined the boys.

"So, ladies, what's the topic tonight?"

"Same old, same old. Who's doing whom? And whom is Brian Kinney doing?" Emmett futilely batted his eyes at Brian. Brian took a pull of his beer.

"You know I never kiss and tell, Emily." Brian batted his own lashes at the southern queen.

"It's been rumored that you've been seen with a new twink. A very rich blond twink who has an appreciation for the finer things in life." Ted tried to bait his boss.

"Theodore, I'm surprised at you. You know listening rumors will only get you...fired." Brian glared at the man who immediately shut up and made a 'hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil' sign.

"Well that does not work on me. You can't fire me. Who is this little tidbit that has you squirreled away?"

Before Brian could answer, Michael jumped in, "Oh for crying out loud, Em, he doesn't have to answer that."

"Mikey," Brian completely changed the subject, "where's your better half tonight?" Noting the lack of big bad Ben.

"He's home grading papers or something like that."

"And he's let you out to play with the boys? How sweet." Brian knew that his snark had a cutting edge but Mikey never felt the sting. Brian kissed him softly on the forehead. Mikey beamed up at him with the largest puppy dog eyes imaginable. Brian downed the rest of his beer then put the bottle on the table with a thunk. "Well, boys, it's been real, but I have to go."

"Go? But you just got here," Mikey whined.

"There, there, Mikey. It can't be helped. I have a handy-man doing some work in the loft and I have to be there to pay him." Brian gave his friends a sly grin and wink.

"Oooohhh!" All three men said in unison and winked back. Michael slapped Brian on the back, sending him off.

"Make sure you tip him well, Bri." Brian gave them a regal wave as he turned to saunter out. "See, nothing's changed. He's the same old Brian," Michael said with a self satisfied grin.

"Hmm." Emmett and Ted exchanged skeptical looks.

*****

"You're back early. How did you make your escape?" The 'handy-man' asked as he was using a ratchet to tighten the legs of the desk.

"Told them I had to tip my handy-man for a job well done," Brian explained. "Is it done?"

"Almost, just have to make a few more adjustments. It'll go faster if you help." The 'handy-man' gave Brian a kiss.

"Sure." Brian kissed back and waited for instructions. Within the hour the desk was completed and they stepped back to admire their work.

"I like it. You?" The younger man looked up at Brian.

"I like it too. But what I like better is being able to share the work space with you." Brian murmured into the blond's ear. The man turned in Brian's arms and kissed him all over his face.

"Now if I remember correctly, didn't someone say something about licking off my hard earned sweat? I think I earned my tip."

 

Brian hoisted his personal handy-man over his shoulder and took him to bed for his reward.

It Don't Matter to Me 3

"Brian, it's Friday."

"I know." Brian came home early, debating whether to face the masses at Debbie's or risk her wrath by staying home with his lover. He was leaning towards the latter.

"You going to answer the summons?" Big blue eyes narrowed a bit.

"They left me little choice."

"That's bullshit and you know it. You don't owe them anything. If anything, they owe you!"

"That's not true, Sunshine. I do owe them something, at least Debbie and Michael."

"How can you say that? Look what they put you through. For years they've been passing judgment, trying to make you live up to what they expect of you. Did they ever ask you what you wanted, what you expect? Why torture yourself?"

"Justin, it's so hard to explain."

"Try Brian, I really need to know."

"Lay down with me and I'll try." The lovers cuddled together on the sofa.

*****

"Justin, you know how it was. You know that Debbie tried to be a mother to me when my own gave me up for dead or to burn in Hell. And Michael, he's like the brother I never had."

"Or wanted."

"Or wanted but I can't just abandon them. I do love them."

"I'd never ask you to abandon them. But you can't drop everything for them or continue to hide from them. And Brian, that was so long ago. You're not the same man; you haven't been for years. It's like they have nothing better to do with their lives but scrutinize yours when they become bored."

"That's not fair, Justin. Teddy doesn't do that. In some strange way, he's become my closest friend, besides you, of course. He doesn't expect me to behave in any other way other than as Brian Kinney, head of Kinnetik. I'm pretty sure Ted knows about you, he's my accountant, for fuck sake. He sees all my receipts, especially when I'm in New York. He's not stupid. Emmett takes his cue from Ted. And Ben, he just minds his own business."

"You're right. But I still don't understand Michael. Why does he have this need to keep you in the past? You're not the whore of Liberty Avenue anymore. Not that you couldn't be if you really wanted to be. But you're so beyond that. Why can't he see that?"

"I have no idea. Maybe it makes him feel more important to believe that he's all grown up and I'm not. The reason doesn't really matter. And before you ask or give me the eyebrow, no, I have no intention of being the whore of Liberty again. Let someone else have that pleasure. Besides, I've done all the good ones. It's pitiful out there, ya know?"

"Asshole." Justin gave Brian a little poke in the ribs.

"Yes, but I'm your asshole."

"Are you?"

"Am I what?" Brian squirmed around so that they were eye to eye.

"My asshole. Mine, nobody else's. Are you ready for that? Do you think we're both ready for that?"

"Yes, I do. Justin, it's time. I did the slut thing; you did the pie-eyed twink thing. I've built my empire, so to speak, even conquered New York and so did you. We deserve this time together. It is our time."

"But it still doesn't solve the immediate problem. What are you going to do about the summons? If you don't show up, they'll be over here in a New York minute. And I have no intention of hiding in the closet." Justin exhaled trying to shake off the tension.

"And I wouldn't want you to. No more hiding, Sunshine. It doesn't matter what they think. What's important is what we think."

"And what do you think?"

"I think we should stay right where we are. Let them find me with you in my arms, just like this."

"But we're not even naked."

"No, and we don't have to be. It'll be just as shocking, more since they expect me to be fucking."

They were quiet for a moment, snuggling closer, mulling over their plans.

"Bri?"

"Hmm?"

"The house."

"What about it?"

"You meant that as a wedding gift."

"And in a way, it still is. Your name is on the deed along with mine. You're reaping half the profits."

"You're kidding."

"Surprise! You're rich."

"I'm already rich."

"Now you're richer."

"I don't need the money."

"I can see that. Damn, Sunshine, who does your clothes?" Brian was truly impressed.

"Stop it, Bri. Where's the money?"

"In a special account, it's yours to do with what you will. Give it away, spend it, burn it, whatever you want."

"I think I'll spend it on you."

"Me? Why? I don't need anything."

"Besides me, you mean. And I know you don't need anything, but I want to give you something."

"You've given me all that I want, Sunshine. All that I need in one sunny blond package. With you by my side I don't need anything else."

"Brian, I love you, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

*****

"Michael, give me the fucking key." Debbie grabbed Michael's spare key to the loft out of his hand.

"Ma, this isn't a good idea."

"Why not? We gave him a chance. It's not my fault he doesn't pick up the fucking phone."

"But what if he's doing something."

"You mean doing someone. Well who the fuck cares, it's not like we haven't seen it all before."

"Ma!"

"Michael, go home. Something's not right with Brian and I need to know he's okay. He's...I love him, Michael. Just like I love you. Now go home to Ben, he's probably getting worried."

"Okay, Ma."

*****

"Brian? Honey, are you home? Bri... Holy shit!" Debbie quietly crept into the loft. There on the sofa were her two most favorite boys, locked in an embrace as they slept. Debbie covered them with a throw then crept back out, locking the door behind her.

*****

"Ma, everything okay?"

"Michael, sweetheart, I thought I told you to go home."

"I figured I'd wait to see if you needed a ride home. Is Brian all right?"

"He's fine, baby."

"Was he with someone?"

"You could say that."

"Anybody we know?"

"It doesn't matter; he's in good hands."

"You're sure we shouldn't go back in there."

"No, Michael, they're sleeping. We shouldn't disturb them."

"So what's he look like?"

"Like a little ray of Sunshine!"

 

fini

It Don't Matter to Me 4

Brian was up and went to the diner to get breakfast. He and Justin had fallen asleep early and now after a particularly stellar round of sucking and fucking, they were ravenous. Brian hoped it was early enough in the day to avoid the gang. Even after all this time, they still had the habit of meeting at the diner on Saturday mornings. Brian pushed open the door.

"Brian!" Mikey called out, waving fanatically. "Over here." Brian groaned, put in his order to the Debbie wannabe then sauntered over to their booth. Michael and Emmett were on one side with Ted sitting across. Brian sat and bumped Teddy over with his hip.

"We missed you last night, Bri. Ma made lasagna."

"I'm sure there's a care package in her freezer with my name on it, Mikey," Brian snarked. A waitress brought a round of coffee. Brian was grateful for the distraction and the caffeine.

"Bri," Teddy, using his Kinnetik employee voice, carefully slid an envelope toward his friend and boss. "It came Friday after you left. I meant to give it to you last night."

Brian arched an eyebrow then slipped the envelope into his pocket. He didn't have to look in it; he knew the contents. It was a copy of a lease agreement. On Brian's floor adjacent to his loft was another, not as spacious as his infamous loft but just the right size for someone starting out. It had huge windows on two sides, a large skylight, a kitchenette and an alcove big enough for a bed or futon. Perfect for an...

"It's an artist's dream," Ted said in a low voice. Brian looked into Ted's warm eyes and in that moment confirmed that Ted was one friend and confidant Brian could really count on. He gave Ted one of his genuine smiles. Teddy nodded his acknowledgment.

"So, Brian, when do we get to meet him?" Emmett was all smiles, leaning on his hands trying to get the latest bit of gossip out of his friend. Brian took another sip of coffee. "You know we'll find out eventually, but I hear he's very rich. Only the best designer clothes on his back. Then again, if he's with you, he won't need many clothes, will he?"

Emmett laughed. Teddy smiled. Michael began to chuckle then it hit him, that Brian might have a new boyfriend. Michael stopped laughing.

"Come on, Brian, you've got to tell us," the southern queen goaded.

"Not now, Emmett, something's come up. I gotta go." Brian took the last sip of coffee then caught Teddy's eye. He flicked his eyes back and forth from Ted to Emmett then nodded. Ted's eyes grew large as saucers as he smiled. In less than two seconds, Brian had cemented his friendship with Ted, had given Ted permission to take Emmett into his confidence, but only Emmett. Brian would have the pleasure of dealing with Michael all to himself. He stood up to check on his order.

"Morning, Kiddo, you're up early." Brian groaned again, he wasn't sure he could take on Debbie right now. "Your order's ready." Debbie nodded toward the bags on the counter. Brian's eyes narrowed on the woman. Two orders of pancakes with a side of bacon didn't warrant four bags.

Debbie gently cuffed Brian on the side of his head then pulled him down as if to kiss his cheek. "I was there last night."

Brian was startled. "The blanket?" Brian whispered.

"Yes, honey, and I love you. You boys take all the time you need," Debbie whispered back. Then she planted a big wet red kiss to his cheek. She rubbed off the lipstick then in a louder voice issued another summons. "And next time I invite you to dinner, you will come!" A pointy red finger waggled under Brian's nose.

"Aw, Maw, I always come!" Brian snarked. The gang and the diner snickered.

"See that you do." Debbie ignored the double entendre, smacked the slightly gooey cheek and began piling on the bags.

"What's all this?"

"You need to keep up your strength. And I remember someone's very hearty appetite," Debbie added in sotto voce. "I'll bring my lasagna over later for dinner."

"You do that but make it much later." Brian winked at his Maw.

"Okay, Kiddo, now out before this stuff gets cold." Brian gave Debbie a kiss then made his escape.

*****

"What's all this?" Justin asked as he saw Brian struggling to get the bags through the door. He sprinted over to help.

"Debbie," was all the explanation he got.

After their enormous breakfast, Brian handed Justin the envelope.

"What's this?" Justin opened the envelope and took out the lease.

"Surprise!"

"It's mine?"

"Ours, really, I hope that's okay. And I put your name on this lease too."

"But Brian, this has always been your place. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yours, mine, ours, just words, Sunshine, it doesn't matter. What matters is us. Do YOU want this?" Justin leapt into Brian's arms.

"Yes, I want this," Justin answered as he kissed the man senseless. "And I want you."

"Bossy Bottom," Brian murmured as he half carried the blond hellion back to bed.

"Uh, uh, bossy top." They stopped just at the steps to the bedroom, hazel eyes stared into determined blue. Brian nodded as Justin's feet hit the floor.

They entered the bedroom hand in hand, equal partners.

-end?-

It Don't Matter to Me 5

EMMETT:

"Ted-ddy! I thought we were going someplace fabulous for lunch. This doesn't look all that fabulous." Ted and Emmett were pulling up in front of Brian's building on Tremont.

"We will be going someplace fabulous but I have a job for you," Ted said as he parked his car.

"You have a job for me?!" Emmett asked in surprise as Ted let them into the building with a spare key.

"Yes, I do. We do...I mean Brian and me. I mean..." Teddy was sputtering.

"Ted, honey, why don't you start from the beginning?" The elevator stopped on Brian's floor, Ted lifted the gate and Emmett walked toward Brian's door.

"This way, Em." Ted indicated the door on the other side of the hall. Emmett cocked his head to one side but followed his friend.

"What are we doing here?" Emmett asked as Ted opened the door to the smaller loft and found a light switch.

"Brian wants you to decorate this apartment. I mean he wants to hire your talents."

"Me? Decorate for Brian Kinney and what the fuck is wrong with his loft? Ted, I don't understand."

Ted walked around to throw open the black out curtains that hid the large windows. Then he pressed a button and they watched the cover to the skylight whirl away.

"My god, Ted, all of this light, you'd have to be crazy to want to live here. You wouldn't be able to sleep! The sunlight will wake you at the crack of dawn. Why did Brian lease this? It would be better off going to an artist or something. And why would he think I'd decorate this place when I don't know who it's for. The decor should reflect the person that lives here. I'd need to know his personal tastes, his coloring, his..."

"Forgotten me already, Emmett? Guess I didn't make that much of an impression on you." Justin had come through the door and stood quietly as Emmett went on his little tirade.

"Justin? Justin, sweetie, is that really you?" The tall queen nearly shrieked with happiness. Then he threw himself at Justin and swung him around.

"It's me, Emmett, it's me." Justin laughed in Emmett's arms.

"Oh Justin, you look so beautiful! Our little boy is all grown up, and looking so fine! But what are you doing here?"

"Let's go next door and I'll explain. I have lunch ready." Justin waved his arm toward Brian's loft.

"Next door." Emmett looked pensive.

"It's okay, Emmett. I live here now."

"Live here. In the loft. With Brian?" Emmett was not convinced.

"Emmett, I swear to you, Brian knows I'm here."

"Honey, someone better explain things to me and quick."

Justin and Ted each took an arm, then guided the bewildered queen to the loft.

*****

"So let me get this straight," Emmett began. "You go off to New York to find fame, fortune and yourself but you found Brian instead."

"That's not quite how it happened."

"Enlighten me, honey."

"I was in New York for about two years before Brian found me. I was never really lost but we agreed to keep a certain distance so I could do what I had to do. It was the hardest, loneliest time of my life. But I, we, needed the time to grow up. You know what I mean?"

Ted and Emmett both nodded. Ted remembered that Brian had been exceptionally evil to work with during that time. As it turned out, it was also a highly profitable time. Brian threw himself into his work and not just at Kinnetik. He revamped Babylon, turned the mansion into the spa then plotted out a course to invade New York. He worked like a dog. And it paid off. As for his apparent disappearance from the backroom, everyone assumed Brian found another place to trick and/or Brian didn't want to shit where he ate, so to speak. Let it not be said the owner of Babylon was taking advantage of his position of power.

"Brian came to all my shows. He was so polite and gallant. It was so nice. After each show, a little note or small token gift would be delivered to the gallery. I knew Brian could have easily found out my address, and I never changed my cell number but he kept his distance. Just a little something to let me know he was thinking of me. It was nice. Normal. Well, normal for Brian kind of normal. But I knew he loved me and he'd wait."

"Oh, sweetie!" Emmett sobbed. "That's so beautiful. Like Romeo and Juliet. Torval and Dean; Rowan and Martin, Martin and Lewis, Burns and..."

"Emmett!" Ted held up his hand. "We get it, Em, we get it. Justin, did he tell you that you're his partner in the spa?"

"Yes, the big lug. He didn't have to do that. But that's Brian, same with this place and the studio."

"Studio?"

"Yes, Emmett. Brian knew I needed a studio and you know how possessive he gets. Next door was empty for months. Brian saw the windows from the street. He contacted the management company and voila! I have a studio."

"That's so sweet! Um, Justin, were you serious about me decorating your new place? I'd love to that is if you still want me to."

"Yes, Em, I'd love it if you'd help me. Brian is still so busy."

"Justin, he's going to work himself into an early grave." Ted was truly concerned for his boss and friend.

"We won't let that happen. He wanted to have a few things in place so we can take some time off to get reacquainted. He was going to tell you, Ted. I have a new show in a few months but after that we're going on a cruise. A very long cruise."

"Honey, I am so happy for you!" Emmett gushed. "Now, didn't someone mention lunch?"

*****

MICHAEL:

"Brian, what are we doing?"

"Having lunch. I thought that it was obvious."

"Brian, as long as I've known you, obvious is not as obvious as it seems."

"Ya know something, Mikey? I actually understood that. Here, eat your sandwich. It's your favorite."

"Pastrami on white with mayo!"

"Yes. How can you eat that vile combination?"

"What's wrong with pastrami on white with mayo?"

"Be-cauusse! It's supposed to be pastrami on rye with mustard. Sheesh, Mikey, don't you know anything?"

"Like you should talk. You've been eating turkey on whole wheat, hold the mayo for your whole life. Talk about boring. Brian, why are you here?"

"Can't a guy have lunch with an old friend?"

"Sure, but when the great god Kinney comes to the comic store bearing sandwiches, I can't help it if I'm a little suspicious."

"I need to tell you something, Mikey, but I don't want you to get all pissy on me or yell at me."

"I don't yell at you."

"Michael."

"Sometimes I do, but it's for your own good. What do you have to tell me? You're not sick again, are you?"

"No, Michael, I'm fine. Very healthy and I hope I stay that way after I tell you what I have to tell you."

"Brian, I have never known you to ramble. Come to think about it, you barely talk. What's going on, Bri?"

"Mikey..."

"Does this have anything to do with your new boyfriend?"

Brian nodded.

"I'm not going to like this, am I?"

Brian shook his head no.

"This is serious, right?"

A nod.

"Very serious?"

Another nod.

"Someone I know?"

"Yes."

"Shit, Brian. I'm not in the mood for twenty questions. Wouldya tell me for fuck's sake!"

"Justin."

"Justin!"

"Yes, Justin."

"Justin Taylor, Justin?!"

"Yes, Mikey, that Justin. He's the only Justin I know."

"Thank God for small favors. Brian? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?"

"You're yelling, Mikey."

"You're goddamn right, I'm yelling. He hurt you! He left you, more times than I can count. He totally used you! And now you're going to take him back? You need to have your head examined. Brian, I know you think he's a good fuck but..."

"Michael! He's more than a good fuck and that was never the point."

"Not the point? To Brian Kinney, a good fuck IS the point. It's always been the point."

"Not this time. Mikey, do you think I'm stupid?"

"No, most of the time I think you're a genius. Except when it comes to that blond freeloader. Brian, he'll take all of your money, hurt you then leave."

"He doesn't need my money. The little shit probably has more money than I do."

"You're dicking me around, right?"

"No, Mikey. Justin's done well for himself. He's all grown up. He doesn't need my money, he can go where he wants, be wherever he wants. And now he wants to be with me. I want him, Mikey. I'm ready to be the man he saw in me, the man that can give him what he needs."

"But you'll get hurt."

"Michael, in all the years you've been with Ben, can you honestly say you've never hurt each other? Not intentionally but you did get hurt. That steroid thing comes to mind. It's all a part of it. All I know is that wherever I am, whoever I'm with, no one will ever be as good as him."

"Brian."

"Michael, please! Just be happy for me."

"I can't, Brian. I'll always love you but I don't believe you'll ever be happy with him."

"Then I guess we don't have anything left to talk about."

"You're leaving?"

"Yes, Michael, I'm leaving."

"Will I see you at Woody's Wednesday night?"

"Not sure, Michael, Justin and I have plans."

"Bri, I will see you, right?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you around."

"Okay, Bri. Oh and Brian?"

"Yeah?"

"How much do I owe you for lunch?"

"It don't matter. Goodbye, Michael."

It Don't Matter To Me

It don't matter to me

If you really feel that

You need sometime to be free

Time to go out searching for yourself

Hoping to find time to go to find

And it don't matter to me

If you take up with someone

Who's better than me

'Cause your happiness is all I want

For you to find peace your piece of mind

Lotta people have an ego hang-up

'Cause they want to be the only one

How many came before, it really doesn't matter

Just as long as you're the last

Everybody's moving on and trying to find out

What's been missing in the past

And it don't matter to me

If your searching brings you back together with me

'Cause there'll always be

An empty room waiting for you

An open heart waiting for you

Time is on my side

'Cause it don't matter to me

It don't matter to me

 

It Don't Matter to Me - Epilogue

"Brian, phone!" Justin stood with the phone in his hand. Brian was struggling to get their suitcases off the elevator. "It's Debbie," Justin shouted through the door.

"How the fuck does that woman know we just got home?" Brian groused, trying to catch his breath. "She must have this place bugged."

"You want me to tell her you'll call her back?" Justin had his hand covering the phone and looked very apologetic for picking up the call in the first place.

"No, I'd rather face the music now. If I put her off, she'll only hunt us down." Justin nodded and handed Brian the phone.

"I'm just going to check the studio," Justin murmured with a little kiss to Brian's cheek. He picked up the studio keys off a hook near the door and went out. Brian took a deep breath then raised the phone to his ear.

"Didn't waste much time tracking us down, did you, Deb," Brian snarked into the phone.

"Don't you get snippy with me, young man. I can read a flight itinerary as well as anyone else." Debbie heard the long suffering sigh and then continued. "You and Sunshine have a good time?"

"Yes, we did, a very good time."

"Are you going right back to work?"

"No. Justin's show is moving to another gallery in a few days. We thought it would be good for him to go and mingle. I'll check in with Cynthia and Ted but if everything is under control..."

"As I'm sure it is."

"I'll accompany Justin."

"Good for you, Honey! When do you leave?"

"In a week."

"Fan-fucking-tastic! That means you'll be here for Sunday night's dinner." Debbie snickered as she heard the groaning and grumbling. "Brian, sweetheart, I haven't seen the two of you in ages. Please come."

"But what if Mich..."

"Brian, I love Michael, you know that, but I love you and Justin just as much. You're my boys too. And Brian, I'm issuing the invitation. I won't tolerate rudeness or disrespect from anyone in my home. I love him but I'll kick his ass if he says something bad about you or Justin."

Debbie paused to let that sink into the stubborn man. "Well?"

"Let me run it by the blond brat and I'll get back to you."

"You do that honey and I'll see you on Sunday. Goodnight, Brian, and give Sunshine a kiss for me."

"I will. Night, Deb."

Justin walked through the loft door and stood by their bags. He looked down at the pile on the floor and then across the room to the bedroom.

"Leave them," Brian sensed what Justin was thinking. "Just lock up the loft, set the alarm and unplug the phone. All I want is a shower then to go to sleep in my own bed." Justin couldn't have agreed more. They locked up the loft and went into the bedroom.

*****

"Brian, staring at the door won't get us in there." They had pulled up in front of Debbie's house and parked. Brian appeared to be in a great debate with himself whether to get out of the car or turn around and go back home.

"I guess we could go home," Brian commented. Justin shrugged. "But then that would be the coward's way out." Justin nodded. "I'm no coward." Justin rewarded his brave man with one of his brilliant smiles and heart pumping kisses. They got out of the car.

"Well look who decided to grace us with his presence!" Debbie said loudly as Brian opened the door and walked in. Everyone was up and smiling, offering their greetings, including Michael, that is until he saw Justin. Brian stepped aside to allow Justin in the house.

"Sunshine! Oh, Sunshine, you are a sight for sore eyes. Oh baby, and just as beautiful as ever." Debbie kissed Justin, smearing lipstick all over his face and then gave him one of her huge bear hugs.

"And you!" Debbie set her sights on Brian. "Come here." She drew Brian into her arms for a hug and a kiss, then she cuffed him behind the ears. "About time you came to dinner and brought our little Sunshine. Now go and sit. Everything's on the table."

"Aw, Maw!" Brian groused as he rubbed his ear. He nodded a greeting to everyone then led Justin to their seats. Brian ignored the cold shoulder he was getting from Michael.

"Sooo, how was the cruise? And don't leave out any details," Emmett addressed Brian. He was very curious about their cruise to Alaska. Everyone was passing around Debbie's masterpieces as they all chatted.

"Who takes a cruise in the winter and to some place freezing? That's just stupid," Michael groused from across the table.

Everyone ignored the comment. Ben looked embarrassed.

"It was very relaxing," Brian answered. Justin and Ted seemed to be deep in quiet conversation. Emmett nodded. It was obvious that both Brian and Justin looked healthier than when they left for the cruise. Both had looked pale, pasty and dropped a few pounds prior to their trip.

"If we ever went on a cruise, it'd be to someplace warm so I can get a tan." Michael appeared to be having a conversation all to himself.

"Did you get to see anything besides the inside of your stateroom?" Debbie asked. Her question wasn't as sarcastic as it seemed. Most of the people sitting at the table knew the purpose of the vacation was to get Brian and Justin away from work. Justin's latest show was huge and exhausting. Brian was equally worn out by Kinnetik. They both needed the time to recuperate.

"Sure we did...three days after we embarked," Brian snarked and with a waggle of his eyebrows. The table snickered. What he really meant was that they slept for the first three days of their trip. They literally did not leave their room, opting to take their meals in their room whenever possible. Even the ship's physician paid them a visit. A little birdie by the name of Ted Schmidt, CFO of Kinnetik, had let the cruise line know that the president and owner of his company and his companion, the famous artist, Justin Taylor, were on board. The protective arms of the family were long reaching. The result? Two well rested, healthy men who were very much in love.

"We did get to see a pod of whales. They seemed to flank the ship," Justin gushed. He had stood by the rail with his sketch pad trying to capture as much as he could while Brian took pictures.

"Who gives a shit about a bunch of big fish," Michael grumbled under his breath.

"Was it really that cold? Did the coats help?" Emmett had suggested they go shopping to purchase full length fur coats for their voyage. Justin opted for fake fur, Brian conceded but only after he took them to a well known furrier to purchase the best fakes on the market. The air was frigid but the sun was blazing. Wrapped up in their furs and blankets, Brian and Justin spent many afternoons resting on deck chairs.

Dinner went on pleasantly. Justin did his best to answer the family's questions about their trip. Throughout the meal, Justin very wisely and diplomatically steered the conversation from themselves to the others at the table. He was very successful at getting mostly everyone involved. Debbie made it a point to pile the food high on everyone's plate. She gave the evil eye to Brian when he began to push the food around and not eat it. And, of course, Debbie had plenty of care packages all wrapped for the boys to take home.

All in all, the family had a great time. The rift between Brian and Michael laid unmentioned and ignored. This was one thing that Brian couldn't fix. It was best to let it be.

Just after dessert was served and before the massive clean up, Michael and Ben said their goodnights. With the tension now gone, Emmett and Debbie wanted to see the pictures of the trip. Justin happened to have some in his bag. Over coffee, the family enjoyed looking through them.

"Theodore," Brian began in his 'boss voice', as they gathered up the dirty dishes and brought them into the kitchen, "do I need to come into the office?"

"No, not unless you want a tour of an office at peak efficiency. Brian, you and Justin need this time away. Kinnetik will be here when you return. I promise."

"I think I just may keep you around, Schmidt," Brian snarked then patted his friend on the back. In Brian-speak, Teddy correctly translated Brian's statement as a 'thank you'.

With enough food to last them until they were away again, the lovers went home.

*****

"Brian, you made Debbie very happy tonight." The lovers were cuddled together on the sofa watching the evening news. "Everyone was happy to see us." Brian snorted at Justin's remark. "I'm sorry about Michael."

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters, Brian. You love him. It hurts that he can't do for you what you've always done for him. You've always stood by him, no matter what. I wish I could help."

"You do help. You're here with me. That's all the help I need."

"Brian, Michael was right about some things. I did leave you and it hurt."

"I hurt you too, Sunshine and you came back."

"But I won't have to come back anymore."

"Why's that?"

"Because I won't ever leave again. I don't have to. I found what I was searching for and his name is Brian Kinney."

"I'll always be here, Justin. You know that, don't you?"

"I know. So it doesn't really bother you about Michael?"

"It don't."

 

-the end-