Brian didn't stay long in Babylon today. He wasn't in a mood at all, he even ignored all those looks that men gave him hoping that he's gonna fuck them. Only one had the pleasure to at least blow him, but that was it. And it wasn't even good. So he left Babylon soon and headed home. He definitely regretted not taking his car earlier, thinking that walking might be good for him. It was total bullshit. It wasn't good. It was terrible. Because right now all he could do was think. Think about him. Every day without him was hell for Brian, but today was a fucking purgatory. And it was kinda ironic. Because it was Justin's birthday today and Brian hated that he couldn't spend them with him. Even though he always said that birthdays are not worth celebrating. But the thought of him being one year older, sexier, prettier and he can't even kiss him or hug him... was killing him.

On his way home he suddenly changed his direction, knowing that it was probaly a bad idea but right now he just didn't want to be home yet... so he ended up in the diner. Probably looking for some meaningful conversation.
"Hi, honey," Debbie smiled at him.

"You're nice to me, that's weird."

"What does that supposed to mean?"

"That usually when you're nice to me, it means you feel sorry for me... so don't."

"I'm not feeling sorry for you."

"Good. Then you can pour me some coffee."

"Right away."

"Thanks."

"So... did you call him?"

"Jesus Christ. Here we go."

"Admit it, you wouldn't be here if you didn't actually want to talk about him."

"Maybe I'm here beacuse of the coffee."

"You always say it tastes like shit."

Brian had to laugh, it was true. Not just about the coffee, but about Justin too. He did want to talk about him but he just didn't want to admit it. Unfortunately Debbie knows him all too well.

"So did you... call him?"

"And why would I do that?"

"It's his birthday!"

"So?"

"You're killing me."

"Sorry."

"Could you stop fucking pretending at least for one second, that you don't give a shit. Because we both know you do. What time is it? Two in the morning... pretty sure that's your time to be fucking someone in the backroom instead you're here..."

"Not really following what you're trying to say."

"That you're miserable."

"Great. Thanks,“ Brian snorted.

"Just call him, Brian. He's waiting for it."

"He knows I don't do birthdays."

"Yeah, but he also knows that you love him."

Brian closed his eyes and sighed softly. Yes, he does love him and they both know it... but they can't even be together so what does it matter now. Hearing his voice on the phone would made things a lot worse. And he's not ready for that.

"He hasn't called me for weeks, why should I?"

"Oh my god. You're unbeliavable. And you've called him in the last few weeks or you're just gonna blame it all on him? And I'm pretty sure that him having birthday is a good damn reason for you to swallow your ego."

Brian opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again knowing that there is nothing to say. Debbie was right. Like always.

"I just don't know what to tell him," Brian sighed, frustrated.

"Happy birthday would be a good start."

"He's in fucking New York and I don't even know when I'm gonna see him again."

"Then ask him. Or get on a plane and go to him. It's not that fucking hard, Brian. You just have to stop sabotaging your own happiness."

Brian breathed out and hated feeling like this. He let him go to New York and he knew how hard it’s going to be, he knew that there was a pretty big chance that it’s going to destroy them. But he chose what was best for Justin because he also knew that even if he told to him to stay, like he deep down wanted, he would loose him anyway eventually. At least this way they had a chance. Justin would follow his dream, but they would still be together… if together means occasional phone calls and seeing each other every few months, weeks, if they‘re lucky.

But it wasn’t enough for Brian. So he pulled away, thinking that it would be easier. Justin didn’t seem to mind too, probably realizing that they were foolish to think that this could actually work. So they haven’t talk for the last five weeks. Not seeing each other even longer. It was hell, but it was better than holding onto a false hope.

But today he couldn’t just pretend that this was okay. Because it wasn’t. He was supposed to be with him. Or at least call him. But he was so damn scared to pick up the phone and hear his voice.

"It's not that easy either." Brian sighed.

"Maybe... but I think that you've been through enough together to give up now, just because things aren't easy."

"Why do you always know what to say? It's annoying."

"Because I'm that good," she smiled and stroked his cheek. "Just call him. You need him."

Brian bit his lip, feeling all those emotions at once. "I call him first thing in the morning."

"Brian..."

"Like you said, it's two in the morning, he's probably asleep."

"We both know that he's not going to sleep until you call him."

Yeah, Brian knew that very well, but he just needed some more time.

After a while Brian finaly decided that it was time to go home and face his thoughts alone, even though it scared the shit out of him.

The moment he stood at his metal door, a strange feeling run down his spine… something was wrong, different… he definitely locked the door on his way out. He was sure of that. But somehow it wasn’t locked.

And there was just only one explanation for it, but Brian didn't want to believe it. Because it couldn't be right. So he opened the door, convinced that there was nothing to be found and as soon as the darkness hit him in the face, he knew that his head was just playing games with him.

A wishful thinking, Brian thought to himself, feeling really down.

Then he took off his shoes and went to the fridge for a bottle of water. The loft was so quiet. He hated it. He still couldn't get used to it. It was almost as if the loft was suddenly too big just for one. God, he really missed him.

Knowing that this was leading nowhere, he decided that it was time for him to go sleep, so he could stop thinking about him at least for a few hours. So he headed to the bedroom, considering if he should take a shower first. But as soon as he was at the steps to the bedroom, he was completely taken aback, not believing what he was seeing. He was sure as hell he was hallucinating. But despite that he was convinced that he's looking at the most beautiful thing in the whole universe.

Brian just stood there, staring at the bed. Staring at him. He couldn't be there, it wasn't possible. And yet he seemed so real. So Brian took a few steps closer to the bed, waiting for him to dissappear... but nothing happend, he still lay there, sleeping, even snoring a little, which made Brian laugh, but not too loud because he didn't want to wake him up. Well, he did want to wake him up so he could kiss him hard. But he decided to let him sleep. He just wanted to look at him and try to wrap his head around him being actually there.

Then Brian undressed and lay down carefully next to him. He still couldn't believe how beautiful he was. And he was so fucking scared to even touch him, thinking that he could vanish into thin air because of it.

But he was really there.

Justin was there.

And Brian couldn't be happier.

----

When Brian woke up in the morning, he was facing the bathroom door so he couldn't see the other side of the bed and for some reason he couldn't bring himself to turn around. He was so sure that what happened at night was just the most vivid dream he had ever had.

But then he felt a hot breath touching the bare skin on his neck, which made him shiver. So he wasn't dreaming after all...

Brian then took a deep breath and decided to roll over, suddenly facing those big blue eyes and that beautiful smile of his, that made his heart skip a beat.

"Hey," Justin smiled even bigger. "I was scared you gonna sleep the whole day."

"Are you really here? I mean... what are you doing here?"

"What do you think?" Justin chuckled.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"Because I didn't know it until the last minute ... and then I just wanted to surprise you."

"When did you get here?"

"Around midnight. Why didn't you wake me up when you came home?"

"You were snoring, so I figured you were tired."

"No, I wasn't snoring!"

"Yes, you were. But it was kinda cute."

"Cute, huh?"

"Shut up," Brian bit his lip, trying not to smile. "You really are full of surprises."

"Well, it's my birthday today and I know you don't do them but... I just wanted to spend them with the most important person in the world."

"And who is that?" Brian asked, grinning.

Justin smiled and moved closer to Brian, putting his lips next to his ear and whispered, "You." And then he pulled away a little, looking deep into his eyes: "I really fucking missed you, Brian."

"You didn't call me... for weeks," he said, looking away for a second.

"You didn't call me either, Mr. Kinney. I figured you need some space..."

Brian looked at him for a while, not knowing what to say. Then he reached out and pulled Justin smoothly closer to him, running his fingers through his blond hair. And then he said, "I don't want space. I want you. So just don't give me space. Never."

Justin couldn't help but smile, "I promise." With that Justin placed his lips against Brian's and kissed him, hard and deep, almost bruising.

After the kiss, Brian sighed softly, pressing his forehead against Justin's and whispered: "I really fucking missed you too, Sunshine."

Justin bit his lip smiling and said, "Show me how much. Although I think I can already feel it myself," he laughed as he felt Brian getting hard.

"Can't help myself... you just have that power over me," Brian smirked. "But I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one with a hard on. Or am I wrong?"

"You're definitely not wrong. So what are we gonna do about it?"

"The only thing we can do," Brian smiled with his tongue in his cheek.

And Justin laughed, waiting. But Brian took a long moment to just look at him first, wondering how he got so lucky. Then he moved closer to him and put his lips againts Justin's. But he was taking his time, kissing him slow, gently, almost caressing his lips. He wanted to enjoy this moment as much as he could.

But after a moment he couldn't wait any longer and slipped his tongue inside Justin's mouth so he could kiss him deep and hungirly. Justin leaned into it, sighing happily between kisses.

Then Brian took Justin's dick in his hand, gently stroking him, making him hard even more. Justin did the same with Brian's cock and as they were stroking and kissing each other, they started breathing faster.

After a while Brian rolled him onto his back and started kissing and licking his chest and his hard nipples, while Justin was moaning loudly. Then Brian started to move his tongue down his belly to his erection. And as soon as Brian took him in the mouth, Justin arched his back, making Brian take him all the way down his throat.

"Fuck, Brian," Justin gasped loudly a started to move his hips slowly up and down.

Brian then started running his tongue down his big vein and sucked on his balls while rubbing his dick, creating the most beautiful pleasure Justin has ever felt. And when Brian started to suck the tip of his cock, Justin started leaking and Brian licked it, tasting him.

And as Justin felt he was about to cum, he stopped him, "Wait. I want you to fuck me. Now," he moaned.

Brian smiled and climb up his body to kiss him deep, letting him taste himself. "You want me to fuck you?" he asked, looking into his lustful eyes.

"Yeah," Justin whispered heavily. "I want you inside me."

Brian kissed him once more and rolled him on his side, taking condom from the nightstand and put it on. Then he used a little bit of lube to prepare Justin. And then he pressed the tip of his dick gently against Justin's hole and started pushing into him, slowly and carefully. And as soon as he was inside him all the way to his balls he started rocking back and forth. At first it was gentle but then Brian started thrusting harder and deeper, slamming into Justin's prostate, while they were both moaning and sighing.

The moment Brian felt he was about to cum, he took Justin's dick in his hand stroking him fast. And a few moments and thrusts later they both cum together, trying to catch their breath.

----

"That was hot," Brian laughed, trying to calm his breathing.

"Yeah," Justin smiled, stroking Brian's sweaty chest. "It feels so long since the last time," he said with his sad eyes.

"Hey, don't think about that," Brian moved closer to him. "You're here now and that's what matters," he ran his fingers through Justin's hair. "Although I have to ask, even though I don't want to know the answer, but... when you have to go back?"

Justin sighed and looked down before he answered, "Tomorrow morning."

"Shit..." Brian whispered. "I was hoping that we're gonna have more time."

"I know. It's just that I have so much work to do and so little time to do it... I have a show next month in a big gallery and..."

"You don't have to explain it to me. Do you know how fucking proud I'm of you?"

"Of course I do." Justin smiled, happy. "And I love it in New York... but I hate not being able to spend more time with you. I really thought it's going to be easier."

"I did too. But someone really special to us said to me that we've been through enough together to give up now, just because things aren't easy..."

Justin raised his eyebrow, "Debbie?"

"Don't tell her I listen to her, okay?"

"Okay," Justin answered, laughing. "But she's right and I don't want to give up."

Brian stroked his cheek with his thumb. "I don't want to give up either." With that he kissed him softly. "I just thought... that maybe you're sick of me already."

"What? I could never be sick of you. I love you, Brian."

Brian smiled but somehow couldn't bring himself to say it back, it still wasn't the easiest thing in the world for him. And Justin understood, he didn't expect him to say it all the time, and he didn't need him to, because he knew that Brian loved him, and that's all that mattered.

Also, the kiss Brian gave him the next second spoke for itself. Brian's actions always spoke louder.

"Good," Brian smiled. "Guess I'm gonna have to stick with you then."

"Absolutely," Justin bit his lip.

"Glad we made that clear. And now get out of bed and get dressed."

"What?" Justin asked, confused.

"We're going out."

"What? Now?"

"Yes - now! You have birthday so we're gonna celebrate."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Brian... you don't have to do that for me."

"I want to."

"Brian..."

"Get... out... of... that... bed. Or I'm gonna spank you."

"Hmm, maybe I shouldn't get out of the bed."

"Twat. First celebrating, then fucking."

"You're crazy," Justin laughed.

"You're not the first one to say that about me," he smiled playfully. "Now hurry up. We have a long day ahead of us."

"Okay, now you scaring me a little..."

Brian just smiled but said nothing, making Justin nervous.

----

They were walking down the street, laughing, even dancing a little while touching and kissing each other. They couldn’t take their hands and eyes off each other enjoying every moment together.

"That movie was great," Justin smiled, kissing him.

"Yeah, it wasn't bad. Although I kinda hoped you gonna choose something else... something less..."

"Romantic?" Justin raised his eyebrow.

"You know I don't do romance."

"You do romance, you just don't know it. Look what you did for me today..."

"I just took you to the movies and bought you some cake."

"You made today special for me, Brian," Justin put his hands around Brian's neck.

"Well, I tried..."

"And you did an amazing job. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Brian smiled, bitting his lip.

Then they continued walking, holding hands, smiling at each other all the time. As Debbie would say they were like newlyweds.

Suddenly Brian stopped on a spot and said, "Wait here."

"What? Where are you going?"

"Just wait..." with that Brian disappeared around the corner.

Justin was just standing there confused. Wondering where he might have gone and then he finally saw him coming back with a strange smile on his face.

"I was scared that you bailed on me," Justin laughed.

"And give up that tight ass?" Brian joked.

"Not as tight as it used to be... thanks to someone."

"Well, what can I say," Brian smiled smugly.

Justin laughed but then he noticed something, "What are you hiding there?" he asked seeing that Brian had his hand behind his back.

"Well, I thought you deserve something special today, so I bought this," with that he showed what he was hiding.

"Brian..." Justin breathed out looking at the most beautiful red rose in Brian's hand.

Then he walked closer to him, taking the rose from Brian.

"Hope you like it."

"It's beautiful, Brian."

"It's just a rose... I should have bought you something better..."

Justin looked at him smiling and then he put his hands around Brian, "This is the best thing you could have give me. It's..."

"Ridicously romantic?"

"Yeah," with that Justin kissed him, making sure Brian knew how much it meant to him.

"Is there anything else you want?" Brian asked.

"There is one more thing."

"What?"

"I want to dance with you."

"You wanna go to Babylon?"

"No. Take me home and dance with me."

----

They arrived home, and as they closed the metal door behind them, Brian pushed Justin against them, kissing him and taking off his jacket.

"So you wanna dance?" He asked heavily.

"Yeah," Justin whispered.

Brian smiled, took off his jacket as well, and kissed him again. Then he walked over to turn on the music. When it started playing, he turned back to Justin a reached out his hand, saying, "I promise you won't forget this one."

Justin laughed and went over to him, taking his hand. They were dancing slow, looking deep into each other's eyes and kissing.

"I'm really glad you're here," Brian whispered into his ear.

"Me too. It was the best birthday I have ever had."

"I hope I won't have to wait until the next ones to see you..."

"Definitely not. We'll find time. I'm not wiling to wait months again to see each other."

"Good. Because I hate it."

"Maybe you could come for the weekend... let's say in three weeks?"

"You're sure you're gonna have time for me?"

"I'll make time. By then I should have most of my paintings done."

"Okay. Then I'll come."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Okay."

Justin kissed his neck while they continue to dance, holding each other real tight. Even when the music ended they just stood there in an embrace not wanting to let each other go.

"I don't want tomorrow," Justin sighed.

"Don't think about it, we still have time."

"Since when you're such a optimist?" he asked laughing.

"Fuck if I know," Brian laughed as well. "I just... I don't want you to think about leaving me tomorrow, when we still have about... nine hours..." Brian checked the clock. "And 27 minutes."

"So take my mind off it."

Brian licked his lips, smiling, and then he took Justin to the bedroom.

----

When they woke up in the morning neither of them said a word. They just lay there, looking at each other, trying to hide their emotions. They weren't ready to say goodbye, even if it was only for a while. But the time was ticking and they both knew it.

"I really hate to say it but..." Justin started.

"I know," Brian sighed. "It's time."

Justin nodded and moved closer to him to kiss him. "I'll see you in three weeks, right?"

Brian knew very well that so many things could go wrong and that there is a possibility they won't see each other in three weeks, but he wanted to believe it.

"Right," he answered, stroking Justin's hair.

Then they went to take a shower together which ended with their orgasms after Brian fucked him against the shower wall.

When they finally got to the airport, they did their best not to get overwhelmed by their emotions, because they didn't want it to be a typical movie scene full of tears ... especially when they're gonna see each other soon.

"And don't miss me too much, okay?" Justin said, laughing.

"Don't worry. I think I'll survive," Brian smiled.

"I know," Justin reached out and kissed him one last time - for now. "I love you."

No matter how much Brian wanted to say it back his throat seemed to tighten and he just couldn't get those words out of him. But then Justin turned to leave and somehow he couldn't stay quiet anymore...

"I love you too, Justin."

And Justin looked back at him with a huge smile on his face. "I know you do. In three weeks, okay?"

"Okay," Brian smiled. And then he watched Justin disappear in the crowd. "I miss you already," he whispered to himself and headed home.



The end