Justin Taylor:

Justin Taylor set your nickname to MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Justin! What the hell is this?

Justin Taylor:

What?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

What the fuck did you do to my name?!

Justin Taylor:

Do you like it?😍

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Are you serious? Change it back!

Justin Taylor:

Hey! I love it! What is your problem?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I don't care that you love it... I want my name back... right now!

Justin Taylor:

Why? Everyone has a nickname on facebook

You should see the nickname Michael has for Ben😄

MyhotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Of course!

Michael!

I should have known this was his fault... every time you spend time with him you do something stupid

Justin Taylor:

You'll be surprised to know that I can think for myself

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Well, then you should think twice before you do something like this

Justin Taylor:

Jesus

It's just a nickname

Hot nickname!

At first I wanted something sweet like My one and only or Baby Bear

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Baby Bear?!

Are you nuts?

Justin Taylor:

😂😂😂

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Could you stop using those fucking yellow things?

It's annoying

Justin Taylor:

You mean emojis?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

emo-what?

Justin Taylor:

I seriously need to explain to you how facebook actually works

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I don't even know why do I need this fucking thing

We have a cell phone!

Justin Taylor:

This is more fun

We can send pics here

Maybe I'll send you my cock later😉

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Okay... now you're talking

Justin Taylor:

Does that mean the nickname can stay?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

No!

I want my name back

I don't want anyone to see this

Justin Taylor:

Oh, so that's what's bothering you?

What if some hot guy sees it and you don't get laid because you have a boyfriend, right?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I always get laid

But you're ruining my reputation, Sunshine

Justin Taylor:

Fine

I'll change it

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Thank you!

Justin Taylor:

Baby Bear sounds better anyway 😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Oh don't you dare!

Justin!

Justin Taylor:

I seriously thought you're done with this 'I don't do boyfriends' shit

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I am!

But I'm also a grown-ass man and not a 5-year-old

And I have clients and several of them are on facebook!

Justin Taylor:

Just calm down Brian

I promise no one else can see it

This is just for the two of us

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Oh

You should have started with that

Justin Taylor:

Well, I didn't realize you would be freaking out about it

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I wasn't freaking out!

Justin Taylor:

Yeah, sure😜

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Christ

I hate those emo-things

JustinTaylor:

Emojis

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Whatever

Anyway, I have to go... I have work to do

Don't forget to send me that pic of your cock so I can see what I'll be sucking tonight

Justin Taylor:

You bet!

Love ya

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Love you too

Twat!

----

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend set your nickname to MyCuteLittleTwat

I finally figure out how to do it

😎

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I can see that😍

Also the emojis aren't that bad, are they?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Shut up

And I'm still waiting for that cock, Taylor

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I'm working on it right now!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Amazing!

😋

-

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Brian! I need you to come home

ASAP!!!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Why?? What's wrong?

Are you okay?

MyCuteLittleTwat:

No! I'm not! You have to help me

Like now!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Jesus

What the hell is going on?

Justin?

You're seriously scaring the shit out of me

Fucking answer me! I'm ten seconds away from calling 911!!

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Sorry! I was just fighting for my life

But it seems he's gone now

at least I hope so!

it was really terrifying

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

What the fuck are you talking about?

Who was there?

Are you alright?

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I think I twisted my ankle trying to run away

And it hurts really bad... but other than that I think I'm okay

It was one hell of an ugly motherfucker

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Could you fucking tell me who the hell was there?

MyCuteLittleTwat:

FUCK!

He's back!

and he hid under our bed!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

That's it

I'm calling the cops

MyCuteLittleTwat:

NO!

Wait

Don't do that

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Then fucking answer me already!

My heart is beating out of my chest

MyCuteLittleTwat:

We have a huge spider in our bedroom

And when I say huge I mean HUGE!

And he just keeps attacking me

little fucker!

Brian? Are you still there??

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Yeah

I'm googling how to get rid of a body quick and easy... because I'm going to fucking murder you!!!

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Hey!

I was in real danger here

I still am because that motherfucker is still under our bed

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I hope he eats you alive

MyCuteLittleTwat:

That's not funny

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I'm not joking

MyCuteLittleTwat

You're mean😥

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

And you are an asshole!

I almost called the cops because you scared the shit out of me

Because of some tiny eight-legged fucker

MyCuteLittleTwat:

He's not tiny!

And do you know what I read?

That they can crawl into your mouth at night

MOUTH!

Ewwww🤮

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Keep talking and I shove it up your ass myself

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I hope you mean your dick because otherwise it wouldn't be very nice of you

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

No I don't mean my dick

For the first time I have no intention of fucking you

That's how much you drive me nuts

MyCuteLittleTwat:

😮😥

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

God I hate when you use these

Now let me get back to work

MyCuteLittleTwat:

BUT!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

What now?

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I need you to come home and kill it

MyhotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Someone fucking pinch me already

Because this can't be happening

MyCuteLittleTwat:

You know how much I hate spiders!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I thought I knew... but this is too much

You're acting crazy

MyCuteLittleTwat:

So you're not going to help me?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I have more important things to do

So no

MyCuteLittleTwat:

More important than me??

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

No comment

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Fine!

I deal with it myself

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

See? You are a big boy

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I hope you'll be a big boy too when you come home horny tonight

Because I'm not going to help you with that

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Seriously?

Justin?

Christ

I'll be home in thirty

With a knife and everything

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Thank you!!😘

I owe you a blowjob

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Oh trust me you owe me more than that

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I'll get the dildo ready😉

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Be there in twenty!

MyCuteLittleTwat:

😍

-

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Justin, why the hell is my cereal box empty??

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Oh, sorry, I ate the rest

I was really hungry and I couldn't find anything else

And you know how I am when I don't eat breakfast

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

And what the fuck am I supposed to eat?

MyCuteLittleTwat:

You can go to the diner

I'm sure Debbie will be happy to see you😉

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

So just to be clear... you fucking ate my food and now I have to go to the diner and listen to Debbie's non stop talking?

Why the fuck didn't you go?

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Well, I was in a hurry

I overslept... thanks to someone 😈😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

How many times have I told not to touch my cereal? The only reason I eat it is because it's sugar free!

MyCuteLittleTwat!:

I know! But it was an emergency, I was really hungry... but I promise I won't do it again!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I've heard that before!

And look where we are

MyCuteLittleTwat:

God

It's just cereal... you're overreacting

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Excuse me?

MyCuteLittleBoyfriend:

Next time I'll just starve

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Save that emotional blackamil for someone else

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I'll stop at the store on the way home and buy you the biggest box of sugar free cereal I can find, okay?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

You better!

MyCuteLittleTwat:

🙄

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

My fucking guava juice too?! 😡

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Shit... you even used an emoji

Guess you're really pissed

Well, not gonna lie I was hoping I'll buy it before you notice

I was really thirsty too

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Drink water next time

And stop touching my stuff dammit!

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I tought we're partners

And partners share everything

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Not when it comes to my cereal and guava juice... well, when it comes to my food in general!

Don't think I don't know you ate my pistachios last week!

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I took just a few!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Few?

I didn't even touch them and suddenly they were gone

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Well

They tasted really great

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I know! That's why I bought them

I'm starting to think I'm gonna have to lock the fridge and stash the rest somewhere you can't find it

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Hey!

We're partners and we live together... you can't do that

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I can and I will!

From now on I will write "this belongs to Brian Kinney - do not touch" on my food

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Fine!

In that case, don't touch my food either!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Don't worry

Asi if I would touch that unhealthy garbage you eat all the time

Acutally, the only time you eat something healthy is when you steal my food

MyCuteLittleTwat:

So basically you should be happy that you're saving my life😜

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

No, I'm not

I'm going to get a permanent marker and put my name on everything

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Okay

Suit yourself

But don't be surprised if you see "This belongs to Justin Taylor - do not touch" on my dick!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Very funny

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I'm dead serious

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Yeah, sure

MyCuteLittleTwat:

It's my dick and I decide who touches it

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Stop being a fucking drama princess

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I'm not

I'm just following your rules dear 😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

So you're basically saying that if you can't touch my food, I can't touch you?

MyCuteLittleTwat:

See how smart you are🙂

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Ha

You wouldn't survive that

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Definitely longer than you

And if necessary I will ask someone else

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

You little shit

Fine... guess you can eat my fucking food

Whatever

I don't care

MyCuteLittleTwat:

I knew you would come around😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Fuck you

MyCuteLittleTwat:

You can do that yourself later😎

Well, I mean if I don't write "do not touch" on my ass

We'll see

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

Bet you're enjoying this

MyCuteLittleTwat:

That you're addicted to my body?

Very🙂

You should probably write "This belongs to Brian Kinney - do not touch" on me

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend:

I'm done with this conversation

MyCuteLittleTwat:

Love you too

😜

-

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

What's taking you so long?

You have no idea how horny I am

So hurry the fuck up

I want to fuck your tight ass

And come all over your beautiful body

And then fuck you again😋

You're jerking yourself off or what?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Hello, Brian, it's Jennifer... I tried to ignore it, but Justin forgot his phone here and I don't want you to worry about him, he went to see Daphne🙂

And don't worry about this either

Let's just forget it and move on

I'm sure neither of us wants to remember this

MyHotAsFuckByofriend

God

Just don't tell Justin

Please

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, I don't even know what I'd say... but I'm sure he's gonna read it himself when he comes to get his phone

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Fuck me!

No not fuck me

I didn't mean it like that

I meant it in a completely different way

Like fuck my life, not you

Christ

MyCuteLittleTwat

I think we should just end this conversation

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

That's a great idea

And sorry about this

MyCuteLittleTwat

No worries

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Thanks😋

Shit not this emoji

fucking hate those motherfuckers

MyCuteLittleTwat

Goodnight Brian

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Sleep well...😬

----

MyCuteLittleTwat

Brian what the fuck???

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh

You finally have your phone

MyCuteLittleTwat

I've never been so embarrassed in my life!

I couldn't even look her in the eyes!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

It's not my fault that you left your phone at her place

How could I know that?!

And trust me, I'm the one who never felt more embarrassed in my life

And you know I have no problem talking about fucking to anyone

But this... This!

I will never see her again

MyCuteLittleTwat

She's your mother-in-law Brian

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

She was!

Until she read that I wanted to come all over you body

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, I hope the offer still stands😍

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Not even my dick stands!

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can't even think about sex right now

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, not gonna lie, it was really awkward and embarrassing

But come on

My mother already saw you naked

And she knows that you're... well, you

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Not helping!

She probably thinks that you married some pervert

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, I kind of did🙃

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I hate you, Taylor

MyCuteLittleTwat

We both are!

You know what we can do in bed😈

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I don't wanna think about that right now

MyCuteLittleTwat

You're starting to scare the shit out of me

Can't believe you're feel bad about this

YOU!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I can't belive it either

But right now I just wanna crawl into a hole and die

MyCuteLittleTwat

Jesus

You know what?

Let's just talk about what you're going to do to me when I get home😋

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Not in the mood

MyCuteLittleTwat

Come on

Just think about my tight ass

I know you can do it😎

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah I can

But then I start thinking about Mother Taylor again

And I just can't get her out of my head

And I'm sure you don't want me thinking about your mother while I'm fucking you

MyCuteLittleTwat

Ew

You didn't have to say that

Now I can't get it out of my head either

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Welcome to my world

MyCuteLittleTwat

We are so fucked

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah

And not in a good way

MyCuteLittleTwat

😬

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Hey asshole... didn't you forget you're supposed to be here by 3?

Where the fuck are you?

MyCuteLittleTwat

What did you just call me?😮

You seriously hurt my feelings

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, that's exactly what you are

You should have been here 15 minutes ago!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Aww

You miss me??

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Shut up

But seriously... whre are you?

MyCuteLittleTwat

If I told you, I'd have to kill you

It's a secret mission

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Huh?

What the fuck are you talking about?

MyCuteLittleTwat

It's better if you don't know

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Justin!

You're starting to piss me off

MyCuteLittleTwat

Okay then

I'll tell you... but you should know I really didn't want this to happen

And that I'm sorry

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

SPIT IT OUT!

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'm with Michael...

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

So?

Why is that a secret?

MyCuteLittleTwat

You don't understand

I'm with Michael

Like... you know...

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

No I don't know

And I'm starting to lose my patience

Could you fucking come home already?

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'm trying to tell you something here, Brian

I mean, we should have told you sooner

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend?

We???

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah

Me and Michael

Fuck

I don't know how to say this...

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Just say it!

Before I fucking murder you

MyCuteLittleTwat

Okay

It started a few months ago... one night we were working on Rage and suddenly there was this look between us and before we knew it we were kissing passionately

And it didn't stop there

I'm really sorry Brian

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

What the fuck

Are you serious, Justin?

MyCuteLittleTwat

It just happened

We didn't mean to

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You better stop with that shit right now

MyCuteLittleTwat

I've always felt that there was something more between us than just friendship

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I'm seriously gonna rip your ass in half

MyCuteLittleTwat

You don't understand Brian

I have feelings for him

MyHotFuckBoyfriend

That's it

I'm done

Fuck you!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Shit no wait!

It's just a joke😂

I promise

You know you're the only one I love

Brian?🙈

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Too late

I just put your stuff in the trash

MyCuteLittleTwat

No you didn't!

Seriously Brian... I was just joking

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Still hate you

And where the fuck are you really?

MyCuteLittleTwat

With Michael

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

JUSTIN!

MyCuteLittleTwat

No really, I'm with Michael

We were working on Rage and well... we wanted to help our imagination

So we had a joint

Or two

And it was really strong😂🙈

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Are you fucking stoned??

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yep😂🤫

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

It all makes perfect sense now

And why don't you just come home?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Because Michael doesn't want Ben to see him like this

Ben wants them to be a better example for Hunter and J.R.

So we're waiting at Mikey's store

Well he's sleeping... or should I say snoring?😂

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Okay

That's why Michael doesn't go home

But why don't you?

You don't have to be a better example for me

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'm not gonna leave him here all alone

You know my feelings for him won't allow me to do that🙄

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Fuck you Taylor

I won't even feel bad for you when you're in pain tomorrow after sleeping in that uncomfortable chair

MyCuteLittleTwat

You are very mean

But that chair is occupied by Michael

I'm lying on the floor

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

😂😂😂

Even better

You deserve it

MyCuteLittleTwat

Come on

You didn't really think there was something going on between me and Michael, did you?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well you got me for a sec

But then I tried to picture the two of you together... and I just couldn't🤮

MyCuteLittleTwat

Ha

I think we'd make a cute couple🙃

But the sex part would be a problem

He touched my dick once and it really didn't do anything to me

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Is this another joke?

I mean it better be!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh don't worry

It was just a mistake

Remember when you got jealous when we started working on Rage and you pissed on our work?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Unfortunately yes

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well we fell asleep together in the loft and we weren't fully awake in the morning and for a second I thought Michael was you and Michael thought I was Ben😂

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I don't know if I should be offended that you thought he was me... or glad that even though you were pissed at me, you still thought about me

MyCuteLittleTwat

Both... I guess😄

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well tell Michael to keep his fucking hands to himself

MyCuteLittleTwat

Don't worry

He doesn't even know he has hands right now😂

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Christ

Enjoy your night Sunshine🙃

MyCuteLittleTwat

You too😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Thanks

But I'm not sure I'll fall asleep

I'm so used to you kicking me all night that I don't know how to sleep without it

MyCuteLittleTwat

I tink that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me😍

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh my god

Good night

MyCuteLittleTwat

Good night my one and only😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You're not allowed to get stoned ever again

MyCuteLittleTwat

😂😂😂

MyCuteLittleTwat

Brian?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

What's up Sunshine?🙃

MyCuteLittleTwat

I just... you love me, right?

More than anything?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Fuck

What did you do?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Hey!

Why do you have to immediately assume that I did something?

That's not very nice 😢

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

WHAT

DID

YOU

DO

MyCuteLittleTwat

Um

I just...

It's not that bad, okay?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Justin!

You have three seconds to answer me or I promise I'm gonna murder you and bury your body in the woods

MyCuteLittleTwat

You'll probably do it anyway so

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Jesus Christ, you seriously drive me nuts

What the fuck did you do?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Okay, I'll tell you

But promise me you're not gonna get mad

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I'm not gonna get mad I promise

BECAUSE I'M ALREADY FURIOUS!

MyCuteLittleTwat

But I really didn't mean to!

I just wanted to help

But it didn't quite go as I planned😬

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Just fucking answer me already

Because if you don't I'm going to head home and find out for myself

And trust me, you don't want me anywhere near you right now

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh I trust you

That's the problem

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Taylor!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Ou last name... guess I really am in trouble 😬

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Are you really going to make me come home? Because if you do, you won't see the sunrise tomorrow

MyCuteLittleTwat

You love me too much

And you wouldn't know what to do without me

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh I was perfectly fine for 29 years

I think I would survive

MyCuteLittleTwat

I can't believe you just said that

And here I thought you loved me more than anything

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Right now I hate you

Tell what you did!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Fine

Well... I just wanted to update your laptop and now it's stuck on this spinning circle

For almost two hours

And it's just not working

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You mean my work laptop?!

The one I repeatedly told you not to touch because I have very important things on it?

REALLY?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah...😶

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You're dead Justin

DEAD!

Do you even have any idea how important that laptop is?

I have everything on it!

FUCK!

MyCuteLittleTwat

I know I know

And I'm sorry

But I forgot mine at Daphne's and I wanted to watch a movie so I thought I'd just borrow yours

But then I noticed how many updates you've been ignoring

And I just decided to download them

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

And how that turned out, genius?

MyCuteLittleTwat

I just wanted to help

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

And you have done a wonderful job

Congrats

MyCuteLittleTwat

I will make it up to you

I promise

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh and how exactly?

Because you just destroyed months of my work

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'll do anything you want

ANYTHING!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah?

Like what?

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'll give you like a hundred blowjobs

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Not sure your jaw would survive that

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, then fifty blowjobs and fifty handjobs

😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

That's a good start

MyCuteLittleTwat

Just a start?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

That laptop was VERY important

MyCuteLittletwat

Oh, right

Then how about a rimjob for a week? 😋

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I like that

What else?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Geez

You wanna destroy me?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Do you have a problem with that? 🤨

MyCuteLittleTwat

No, of course not

Well... then I can give you a striptease

I know you've always wanted me to, so I guess it's finally time

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Okay, now you're talking

I'm already getting hard 🙃

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh yeah? 🤤

I'm gonna give you the best show

And then you can fuck me hard

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Guess I'll be home early tonight

So be ready

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yes, Sir 😈

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

And I'm also gonna spank you

You won't be able to sit for a week

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'll take that punishment 🙃

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Good!

Looking forward to it 😈

MyCuteLittleTwat

Me too 😇

Oh wait...

Oh my god!

Nevermind

It's finally working!!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

What??

MyCuteLittleTwat

Your laptop

It's working again

Thank God!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You're the luckiest man alive I tell you that

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah I know 🙈

But I guess there won't be any punishment after all

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

WHAT???

You little shit!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Love you too 😘

-

MyCuteLittleTwat

Hey, you know what we should try? 😍

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Not and I don't want to

MyCuteLittleTwat

What?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Whatever it is the answer is a big fucking NO

And I'm not gonna repeat myself

MyCuteLittleTwat

You don't even know what it is!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

And I don't need to

The only thing I need to know is that the last time you wanted to try something it was a fucking disaster

MyCuteLittleTwat

That's not true!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh, really?

I ended up in the ER with a dislocated shoulder

MyCuteLittleTwat

That wasn't my fault

I still don't understand how it happened

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Should I remind you?

Refresh your memory a little?

Because I remember perfectly

MyCuteLittleTwat

Okay, I know it didn't go exactly how I planned... but it was kind of romantic

You have to at least admit that!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Romantic?

What exactly was so romantic about me screaming in pain and then spending three hours in the middle of the night in the emergency room?

Not to mention that I had to explain HOW exactly I got hurt!

Oh and of course I shouldn't forget how you flirted with my doctor in front of my eyes!

Very romantic, Sunshine 🙃

MyCuteLittleTwat

I wasn't flirting with him! I was just being nice and polite

And I don't see what's wrong with that 🙄

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah right sorry

You were just politely drooling over him

Silly me

Such a romantic night 😶

MyCuteLittleTwat

Okay fine I'll admit I wasn't on my best behavior... though I bet if you didn't have a dislocated shoulder you'd be drooling over him too

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be there at all, so...

MyCuteLittleTwat

Again - it was not my fault!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh yes it was

First you got me drunk

MyCuteLittleTwat

Hey, we were both drunk!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Right, true - you got US drunk

Then you forced me to do the famous lift scene from Dirty dancing with you

But you didn't think to be careful and jump on me like some maniac, dislocating my shoulder

And then you eye-fucked my doctor basically asking him out in front of me

But yeah, it was not your fault and it was sooo romantic

MyCuteLittleTwat

Fine!

Jesus

I give up

From now on, we will never try anything new

We'll be boring and stereotypical... like straight people

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Don't insult me like that

We will never be like hetero people

We just won't do anything YOU WANT ever again

MyCuteLittleTwat

Great, that's sounds really fair

But just for your information, I only wanted to try the new restaurant downtown

But now I've changed my mind

Just forget it

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh

Why didn't you just say that?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Because you're a fucking drama queen

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, I already made a reservation there for tonight

Suprise 😘

MyCuteLittleTwat

UnFUCKINGbeliavable!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Should I cancel it then?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Don't you dare!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Great because I was thinking that you could blow me under the table while we're there

We've never done that

And I've always wanted to try it 😋

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah, that sounds like the perfect plan to spend a night in jail

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Is that yes? 😎

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, I know how much you love sex in public places, so...

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I knew I could count on you

And maybe I'll even let you eat first

MyCuteLittleTwat

Food or your ass? 😛

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Good question

We will see

Anyway, the reservation is for 7 p.m, so be on time

And don't forget to wear something nice and easy to take off... I'll show you some romance 😉

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh

I already have something in mind 😈

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Excellent!

-

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Hey, do you have a sec?

MyCuteLittelTwat

Yeah sure... what's up? 😋

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I just need to ask you something

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh okay

Then ask

But I hope it's something dirty because I'm kind of horny so if you want to try something new in bed I'm all for it 😈

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

In our bed or someone else's?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Um... what?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Just curious because I just found something very interesting

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'm confused

What is going on Brian?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh I'm so sorry

Let me clear this up for you 🙃

Why the fuck do you have a Grindr profile???

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh shit!

I can explain!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Young and horny looking for some fun

A really tight ass that you can fuck all night?

Relationship status: single?

Are you fucking serious?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Brian it's not what you think

I promise!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I will do things to you with my tongue you can't even imagine???

Fuck you Justin!

FUCK

YOU

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'll explain everything to you as soon as I get home

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Home?

You don't have a home

Not anymore!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Jesus Christ

Could you just calm down?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I'm sorry, what?

Calm down?

You want to stick your tongue up someone else's ass and I should just chill?

Who do you think you are?

MyCuteLittleTwat

The only ass I wanna stick my tongue in is yours

And the profile is not what you think

It's an old one and I just never deleted it

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

MyCuteLittleTwat

That profile was my friend's idea

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

What friend??

I know all your friends because they are my friends too

So don't lie to me

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, you'll be surprised to know that I have other friends

And I've told you about Alex like a milion times

He used to be my classmate

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Okay that rings a bell

So he's the one you want to use your tongue on?

MyCuteLittleTwat

What? No! God!

He has a boyfriend

Jesus Christ

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

And what if he didn't have a boyfriend? 🤨

MyCuteLittleTwat

This is unbeliavable

I made that profile (years ago!) because Alex asked me to... he wanted to find out if his boyfriend - now ex boyfriend - was cheating on him

Well, he was

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

With you??

MyCuteLittleTwat

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Not with me, obviously!

I'm not cheating on you Brian

Not with Alex, not with his ex, not with anyone

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, I seriously hope so, because now I expect you to do those things I can't even imagine with your tongue to me

MyCuteLittleTwat

😄 of course... whatever you want 😜

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

And delete that profile!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Um, I'm pretty sure I don't know the password

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You'll figure something out, I trust you 🙃

MyCuteLittleTwat

Of course... 😘

But now I have to go, I'm in a hurry

See you tonight and be ready for a mind blowing orgasm 😈

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh, I'm always ready 😉

MyCuteLittleTwat

I know 🤤

Love you

MyHotasFuckBoyfriend

Love you too... maybe



*a few minutes later*



MyCuteLittleTwat

Brian?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I thought you were in a hurry

MyCuteLittleTwat

I was, but then I realized something

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

And what is that?

MyCuteLittleTwat

That the only way for you to know I have a profile on Grindr is if you have a profile there too!!

So I am waiting for an explanation!

And don't tell me you also a have a friend who thinks his boyfriend is cheating on him

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well...

I actually have a solid explanation

My new client has this dating app and it's up to me to make it desirable to fags

So I'm just looking at the competition

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh...

But still! You kept it from me even though you just accused me of cheating

So I expect mind blowing orgasm too!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh don't you worry

I know how to use my tongue Sunshine 😋

MyCuteLittleTwat

Then I guess we'll find out who's better at it tonight

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Guess so... 😎

MyCuteLittleTwat

Brian!

I finally know what I want for Christmas 😍

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh really?

Is it my cock?

MyCuteLittleTwat

How the hell do you know?

You're a fucking mind reader

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Okay okay smartass

Don't make me spank you

MyCuteLittleTwat

Mmm I'd love that!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Of course 🙄

You better tell me what you want already so that I can buy it and wrap it nicely 🙃

Or you know what... don't

I'm pretty sure I know what it is so I bet I can guess

MyCuteLittleTwat

I don't think you can but sure

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Ohh don't underestimate me

I can do whatever the fuck I want

MyCuteLittleTwat

Are you drunk? 🤨

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Shut up and let me concentrate

MyCuteLittleTwat

🤣

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

First guess... here we go

Is it that new red dildo with the automatic thrusting we were looking at a few days ago? 😈

MyCuteLittleTwat

Uh... no

But be sure to put it on the list 😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

No? The fuck?

Okay never mind

Second guess... are you ready?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Aren't I always? 😋

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

True

Anyway... is it a sex swing?

I know you've always wanted to try it so I'm pretty sure this is it

MyCuteLittleTwat

I love how you remember the little details about me

But... no 😏

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Okay now you pissed me off... I already bought it!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Wait what?

You're not supposed to tell me that!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well it's already ruined so it doesn't really matter

MyCuteLittleTwat

No it is not! I expect you to fuck me into oblivion in that swing!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I hope so because it was fucking expensive and I made sure it was very comfortable for your bubble butt

MyCuteLittleTwat

You are so thoughtful!

But... how did you make sure? Have you tried sitting in it?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Uhh

Let's just move on to the third guess, shall we?

MyCuteLittleTwat

🤭 Of course my love

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Okay are YOU drunk?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Just guess already!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Okay... uhhhhh

I know!

This has to be it

Vibrating cock ring? 😎

MyCuteLittleTwat

Damn... that sounds like fun!

We need to get one

But you're still wrong

I'll give you a hint okay?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

God... you want a fucking unicorn or what?

Don't answer

Just give me that hint

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'm laughing so hard 🤣

But here's the hint... it's something very simple and you can wear it 😉

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Not very helpful Sunshine

New handcuffs?

I know the ones we have are a bit rusty so... is that it?

MyCuteLittleTwat

I hadn't thought about that, but we should definitely buy one because I have plans for them

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Mmm now you're talking 😋

But last guess then you just tell me because I'm running out of ideas

MyCuteLittleTwat

Okay

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

So the simplest thing I can think of is...

Nipple clamps?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Ouch!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I'll take that as a no

And I give up

Just fucking tell me already

But was I at least close?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Sorry but you weren't

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Great

But FYI it's not my fault you have weird taste

MyCuteLittleTwat

I have great taste!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Uh-huh 🤨

In that case I'm really dying to know what exactly you want

So just spit it out

MyCuteLittleTwat

Okay

So I saw it today when I was shopping with Daphne and I just fell in love with it

It was just so damn cute

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Cute?

What the hell is it?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Reindeer socks!! 😍

The little guy on them was just so fucking adorable!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Is that a joke? Tell me you're joking

MyCuteLittleTwat

It's not a joke!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Socks???

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah!

Just wait until you see them

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You don't mean cock sock?

But actual socks?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yes!

Brian not everything has to be about sex

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Where the fuck did I find you?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Outside of Babylon... remember?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Barely

Suddenly it's kind of foggy

MyCuteLittleTwat

Hey!

Don't act like an ass

After all I am your prince and I deserve to get what I want for Christmas 😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You're so fucking weird

Socks...

Not even boxers, but socks

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh they had boxers too

Only they were with Santa Claus

But you can buy them too 🥰

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh no, there's no way I want to look at your ass and have that fat guy staring at me

MyCuteLittleTwat

You're so adorable

Almost like that reindeer 😍

Maybe you should buy a reindeer costume and fuck me while you're wearing it

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Okay... now you scared the crap out of me

MyCuteLittleTwat

Don't worry... this was just a joke 🤣

Or maybe...

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Justin!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Sorry!

So will you buy me those socks?

Please 🥺

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Why didn't you just buy them... you know, as a present to yourself?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Because I want them from you!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, because you figured it would be fun to torture me a little before Christmas, right?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well... that too 🙃

But I really do want them!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

God

Guess I don't have a choice, do I?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Nope 😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Then I suppose you're gonna have your socks

But I swear to god, if you ever tell anyone that you made me buy you fucking reindeer socks for Christmas, we're done, are we clear?

MyCuteLittleTwat

It's our little secret I promise 😉

And don't worry I have something for you too

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Let me guess

Elf socks?

MyCuteLittleTwat

🤣🤣

You're just gonna have to wait and see for yourself

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Fucking awesome

MyCuteLittleTwat

😘

-

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Justin, where the fuck is that fucking cat food?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Shit!

I completely forgot to tell you

It's in the kitchen

I put it in the cabinet right under the sink 🥰

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Fucking amazing

I've been looking for it for an hour!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Don't be grumpy

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I'm sorry, what?

Grumpy?

I'm perfectly fine!

Just don't be surprised if the cat is dead 🙃

MyCuteLittleTwat

Come on!

You promised to take care of him!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I promised no such thing

You blackmailed me you little shit

And now I'm stuck here with this little intruder who keeps testing my patience

His hair is literally everywhere

On my fucking expensive clothes

On my fucking expensive furniture

Even on my freaking laptop because that cat just fucking loves to lay on the keyboard

Like really, where exactly are you coming back??

MyCuteLittleTwat

He's not an intruder

He's Daphne's little boy!

And I'll be back tomorrow... I promise

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Thank fucking god

The next time Daphne decides to go snowboarding with her boyfriend, tell her to leave it with someone else!

MyCuteLittleTwat

It? You mean him? 🤨

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Whatever

God he just won't stop meowing

It's so fucking annoying! 😩

MyCuteLittleTwat

Have you tried picking him up and cuddling him?

Cats love that

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Seriously??

MyCuteLittleTwat

Right I forgot

You barely cuddle with me

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Hey!

That's not true you liar!

I cuddle with you ALL the time

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh yeah?

When was the last time and was I conscious? 🤨

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Haha very funny

I cuddled with you in the morning right before you had to go to the airport, remember?

MyCuteLittleTwat

We both know you were just trying everything you could to get me to stay and take care of Leo 🙃

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well... that may be true

But I was also cuddling you because I knew I'm gonna miss you terribly 😘

MyCuteLittleTwat

Not working!

I still won't be back sooner

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Fuck!

But really... I do miss you

MyCuteLittleTwat

I miss you too!

But please

Don't kill Leo!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Daphne won't even find out

We'll just replace him

MyCuteLittleTwat

Would you notice if someone replaced me?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, if he had an ass as perfect as yours, then maybe...

MyCuteLittleTwat

You didn’t just say that!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

😜

You are irreplaceable... don't worry

MyCuteLittleTwat

You won't get off the hook that easily

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh I believe you because I think this little screaming monster will make sure I will be punished

MyCuteLittleTwat

Good 😉

Listen, I have to go, the show is starting

Just pet him a little

I love you!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Pet him?

What?

Justin?

Great... you were really helpful 🙄

---

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'm finally at the hotel... the exhibition was amazing... I sold a few paintings 😁

How are you guys?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

My little artistic genius

Well, we're still alive

I can't say the same about my pillow

MyCuteLittleTwat

Why?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

He pissed on it!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh

Shit

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah - shit

The cat just hates me

MyCuteLittleTwat

No he doesn’t

He's just nervous because it's not his territory

And he needs some love

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, I will give him some love and kick him out the door

MyCuteLittleTwat

That won't work

I mean you did that to me a few times and look 🙃

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, you're still following me around

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yep 😘

And cats are the same

Just don't yell at him

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, I was about to, but then he looked at me with those big sad eyes and I just couldn't

MyCuteLittleTwat

See? You will like him eventually

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I never said I didn't like him

I just like him better when he's with Daphne in her apartment

Not in mine pissing on my stuff and scratching my furniture!

MyCuteLittleTwat

I get it Brian, but I'll be home tomorrow and Daphne will take him back in three days

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Three fucking days??!

You said it's only for the weekend!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah well

They really like it there and decided to stay longer 😬

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Fuck me!

If that fucker pisses on anything else, he's going to the shelter

MyCuteLittleTwat

Come on

Just breath

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Fuck you and breath yourself

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'm glad you still know how to express your undying love for me

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Okay now I'm laughing you little idiot 😂

MyCuteLittleTwat

Good to know

Just be nice to him and I'm sure he'll be fine

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, I'm not sure about that

MyCuteLittleTwat

Why?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

He's weird

MyCuteLittleTwat

Why? What's he doing?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, uh... I think he's giving himself a pawjob

MyCuteLittleTwat

A what? 😂😂😂

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Pawjob

And he's humping my blanket

God the cat is fucking horny!

This can't be happening!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, you can't say you don't have anything in common

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, not gonna lie, I can relate to him

Because I really miss fucking you

MyCuteLittleTwat

It hasn't even been 12 hours since you last fucked me

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

And I already miss it

MyCuteLittleTwat

Aw

Tomorrow I'm all yours 😜

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Can't wait

MyCuteLittleTwat

That is, unless Leo wants to play and cuddle

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh hell no!

You are MINE

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, then you should probably talk to him

Man to man

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Talk to him about what?

MyCuteLittleTwat

About how much you love me so he won't try to steal me from you

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh yeah

We're gonna have a long chat and he won't even dare to look at you when you're home

MyCuteLittleTwat

God, we are such idiots 😂

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah... we are

Oh great

Now he's humping my leg!

MyCuteLittleTwat

😂😂😂

Okay, now I'm starting to worry that he's going to steal you from me

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You don't have to

He's too hairy for me

And he's obviously a Top

So not my type

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'm laughing so hard I'll probably get kicked out of this hotel 🤣

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Glad you're enjoying this 🙃

But I'll be sleeping with one eye open because I don't know what that cat is capable of

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, don't forget to kiss him goodnight for me 😉

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You are such a devil

MyCuteLittleTwat

I know 😋

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

😐

-

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Please tell me you cooked something

I'm literally starving

and about to drop dead somewhere

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well that depends... 😎

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

On what?

MyCuteLittleTwat

What do I get out of it?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Me in a good mood?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Ok that's a start

Go on

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I'm sorry, what?

Did you even read what I wrote?

I'm dying!

Now is not the time to make jokes!!

MyCuteLittleTwat

You're cranky I see

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yes!

That's exactly why I need food

Waiting for me ready on the table if possible 🙏

MyCuteLittleTwat

Sure, I can make that happen

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Thank you!!

I'll be there in 20

MyCuteLittleTwat

Okay

But just to be clear

You get food

And I get something in return 🙃

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Jesus Christ

You're fucking unbelievable

I'm so close to turning around and heading straight to the diner!

MyCuteLittleTwat

All right

suit yourself

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Won't you try to talk me out of it?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Nope

At least I won't have to share that delicious Jambalaya with you

And I mean DELICIOUS 😋

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You made Jambalaya???

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah

Too bad I'll have to eat it all by myself

If only you wanted to give me something in return

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Fuck you!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, that's what I'm trying to do with you

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Huh?

MyCuteLittleTwat

It's been a while, you know

And I'm kind of in the mood 😋

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

In the mood for what??

MyCuteLittleTwat

Your ass!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Excuse me??

MyCuteLittleTwat

I just feel like fucking you today

And since I know that's not easy to do (even though we both know you enjoy it as much as I do 🙄)

I thought I'd give you some motivation

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Are you seriously saying that if I want to eat, I have to let you fuck me?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, not exactly

I want you to want me to fuck you

And I know you do

Just admit it and let it happen

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Are you high? 🤨

MyCuteLittleTwat

No, just desperate for your ass

Come on! I haven't fucked you in ages!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah

And it's still not long enough

MyCuteLittleTwat

Hey!

I didn't hear you complain

Actually the opposite

You almost begged for more whenever I hit the right spot 😋

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

That's not true!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Uh-huh

I see we remember things differently

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Looks like it

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well do you wanna know what I remember happening the last time I fucked you? 🙃

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Not really...

MyCuteLittleTwat

Too bad

Because I'm gonna tell you anyway

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Of course you will

I'm not even surprised

Little shit

MyCuteLittleTwat

I remember you fucking yourself with my dick

And the look on your face as you were about to cum

I remember taking your cock in my hand and stroking you as I fucked you

And you came so damn hard a tear rolled down your face

I also remember you shaking afterwards

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

THAT DID NOT HAPPEN!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh yes it did

I can still feel your muscles clenching around my cock

And you grabbing my ass and pulling me closer and deeper

It was so damn hot

I bet your dick is hard just thinking of it

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You're wrong

My dick has never been softer

MyCuteLittleTwat

That's a shame

Because mine is rock hard

And throbbing in my hand

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Are you jerking yourself off?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Maybe... 🙃

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I hate you so damn much Taylor

MyCuteLittleTwat

That's alright

I just really hope you don't let my perfect erection go to waste

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

How about I suck you off?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, that's a really great bonus

But I still want to fuck you and make you cum with my cock deep inside you

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

hhjjhggfhhhhkmmm

MyCuteLittleTwat

Is that a new language?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Shit!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Let me guess... you're jerking yourself off too?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Absolutely not!

MyCuteLittleTwat

You're a miserable liar 🙃

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

And you're fucking annoying

MyCuteLittleTwat

Come on

Just admit it

Every once in a while you love my dick sliding inside you

and the feeling like every nerve ending in your body is being touched

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Christ

Fine!

You can fuck me

MyCuteLittleTwat

See?

It wasn't that hard 😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, this is the last time!!!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah yeah

I've heard that before 😉

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Shut up before I change my mind

MyCuteLittleTwat

🤐

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

And get the Jambalaya ready

We're going to need that fuel

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yes sir!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Justin, I have a problem

Correction

WE have a problem

Like a BIG fucking problem

MyCuteLittleTwat

What's wrong??

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Daphne just showed up at our door unannounced

And she is far from sober

Like I'm pretty sure she took a tequila bath

MyCuteLittleTwat

Christ!

Did she tell you what happened?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Not really

She can't exactly form sentences right now

I'm surprised she managed to get herself here in such a state

All she keeps saying is Justin and asshole

I have no idea what you did to her

But whatever it is, you better come home and fix it because I can't deal with this shit!!

MyCuteLittleTwat

I didn't do anything!!

Are you sure she said asshole?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Trust me

When someone says asshole, I'm all ears 🙃

MyCuteLittleTwat

This is not the time, Brian!

What is she doing now?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

She's been staring into our fridge for the last five minutes

Either she's looking for Narnia in there

Or she's trying to find more booze, which would be the end of her

MyCuteLittleTwat

So keep an eye on her!

I will try to be home as soon as possible

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Which is when exactly?

MyCuteLittleTwat

In an hour

Maybe? 😬

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, if you could hurry the fuck up

That would be great

Because I'm pretty sure she's crying

What the hell did you do to her?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Nothing!!

I don't know why she thinks I did something but I didn't!

I swear to God

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, you better refresh your memory because she's really upset

Fuck!

MyCuteLittleTwat

What is it?!

Is she OK??

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

She found my guava juice and she's chugging it down!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Jesus

You scared the crap out of me

But at least it's not tequila

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Right now I really wish it was

Oh hell no!

She's eating my tuna sandwich

Get home!

Like fucking now!

MyCuteLittleTwat

I can't just teleport there!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Figure something out before she eats the entire fridge with everything in it

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'm doing everything I can

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Do more!

Anyway, I'm pretty sure she just said 'How could he do this to me?'

But it could also be 'I need some damn cheese'

Not sure which one

MyCuteLittleTwat

What? 🤨

How the hell could you hear two completely different sentences?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Easily!

She doesn't exactly articulate

Her mouth is not even moving when she's "talking"

MyCuteLittleTwat

Great

So she either hates me or she's fucking hungry

Please just make sure she's okay

Don't let her do anything stupid

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Trust me I'll chain her to a fucking chair if I have to

MyCuteLittleTwat

Let's hope it doesn't come to that

Anyway, I'm heading to the bus stop

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Thank God!

And buy some flowers on the way

Because whatever you did to her, it had to be bad

MyCuteLittleTwat

Could you stop? 🙄

I didn't do anything!

At least I hope not

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, you may actually be right

Do you know a guy named Chad?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Um, no?

Why?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Someone just called her but she didn't answer and immediately started crying

But I saw the name Chad on the screen

MyCuteLittleTwat

Who the fuck is Chad?!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

No idea

MyCuteLittleTwat

So ask her!

And find out where the motherfucker lives!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Just calm down

No need to plan a murder before we know anything

MyCuteLittleTwat

Then talk to her!

In the meantime, I'll get some shovels

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh my god

You're such a twat

Give me a fucking minute

MyCuteLittleTwat

Ok but hurry

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah yeah

MyCuteLittleTwat

So?

Did she tell you anything?

Brian?

Christ, what's taking so long?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Get those shovels

And some duct tape

We gonna kill that motherfucker!

MyCuteLittleTwat

You're scaring me!

What the hell did he do to her???

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Apparently they had been seeing each other for over a month

And today she saw him sticking his tongue down some redheaded bitch's throat

MyCuteLittleTwat

Are you serious?? 😮

I didn't even know she was seeing someone!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, I wouldn't be telling people about dating someone named Chad either...

But that's beside the point

We'll put his ass six feet under

Nobody treats Daphne like that!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Um

Is it bad that you just might have turned me on a little?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, considering we're about to murder someone, it's a little bit weird, but... I'm happy to fuck your brains out 😎

But first

How long until you get here?

MyCuteLittleTwat

About 15 minutes why?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

She's starting to get a little handsy

MyCuteLittleTwat

What?!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Um yeah

Hand on my back

Hand on my thigh

I think she even grabbed my ass at one point

MyCuteLittleTwat

You THINK??

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I'm positive

I think I am part of her pain management

MyCuteLittleTwat

Jesus Christ

I tell the driver to speed up

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Somebody's jealous

MyCuteLittleTwat

Shut up 🙄

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Just hurry

Before she starts taking her clothes off

MyCuteLittleTwat

Please do not let her do that!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Trust me, as much as I find her attractive, I have no interest in seeing her tities

MyCuteLittleTwat

That's a relief

I mean, she has nice tities but...

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I don't even want to know how you know

MyCuteLittleTwat

I fucked her, remember?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh

Right

Fuck!

Get your ass home right now!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Why?

What happened?!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

She just tried to kiss me!!

Saying how sexy I am

Which I mean... thank you, I know I am

But she's really getting out of control

MyCuteLittleTwat

Jesus!

I'm seriously going to kill this Chad!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You and me both!

But first get your ass over here

RIGHT NOW!

She's giggling and acting really weird

It's honestly scaring me a little

MyCuteLittleTwat

Ten more minutes!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Well, hopefully I'll still be alive by then

MyCuteLittleTwat

Christ!

This is a fucking nightmare

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, tell me about it

MyCuteLittleTwat

😬

MyCuteLittleTwat

OMG I just found the perfect costume for the Halloween party! 😍

Just wait until you see me

You won't be able to keep your hands off me 🤤

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

What Halloween party??

MyCuteLittleTwat

Ha ha!

Very funny Brian

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I'm not trying to be funny

MyCuteLittleTwat

Wait

Are you serious?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Dead serious

MyCuteLittleTwat

I can't believe you!

The one Lindsay and Mel are throwing

It's all they talk about

For weeks!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh

Now it makes perfect sense

I rarely listen to what they're saying

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'm not even surprised 🙄

Anyway, the party is on Friday

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

So?

MyCuteLittleTwat

So don't make any plans because we're going 🎃

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

No, we are not

MyCuteLittleTwat

What do you mean?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Exactly what I said

I'm not going to a dykes party!

I'm going to Babylon's party 😎

MyCuteLittleTwat

You're joking, right?

I promised we would come!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah

You shouldn't have done that

MyCuteLittleTwat

Brian!

Can you do this for me?

Please?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

What's in it for me?

MyCuteLittleTwat

A chance to fuck me in a sexy costume? 😋

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I prefer to fuck you naked

MyCuteLittleTwat

Come on!

It's going to be fun

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Define 'fun' for me

MyCuteLittleTwat

Um

Drinks

And music

And food

And... me 😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, I'm going to Babylon

MyCuteLittleTwat

Brian!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Sorry Sunshine

You're gonna have to do this without me

MyCuteLittleTwat

But I don't wanna go without you!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, I bet

And you know why?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Why, Mr. 'Know it all'?

Tell me

I'm all ears

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Because I'm sure you don't want to go either, you just don't have the guts to tell them

And you want me to come so you don't die of boredom

And because you know that after about 20 minutes I'm going to lose my patience and drag your ass with me and thus save you

MyCuteLittleTwat

That's not true!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Uh-huh

MyCuteLittleTwat

Okay

Fine

It kind of is

But they are so excited and want us there!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Not my problem

MyCuteLittleTwat

I literally spent the whole morning carving pumpkins because they asked me to

And they would be so sad if we didn't come

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Again - not my problem

MyCuteLittleTwat

And here I thought you loved me

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

That doesn't mean I'm obligated to spend the night with a bunch of lesbians drinking pumpkin spice latte

MyCuteLittleTwat

Even the guys are coming!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, because they're crazy and in desperate need of balls of steel to turn down the dykes invitation

MyCuteLittleTwat

It's not going to be that bad

I promise!

And I'm gonna give you head whenever you feel the need to leave

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I don't even feel the need to come

Which is something I never thought I'd say

And I'm pretty sure they wouldn't appreciate you sucking my dick all night

MyCuteLittleTwat

Did I tell you that the costume I chose is really hot? 😋

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

That's not gonna change my mind

MyCuteLittleTwat

Come on

Emmett says I look really sexy in it!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

What do you mean by that?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Exactly what I said

He actually saw the costume first and thought it would really flatter my body and he was right 😉

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

He's there with you??

MyCuteLittleTwat

Duh!

Who else would help me find the best costume?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

You could have asked me

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah, because you'd be so excited to help me find a costume for a party you don't even wanna go to

But don't worry, Emmett knows what he's doing

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

That's what I'm afraid of

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, thank god he's here

He actually had to help me put this one on

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I'm sorry... WHAT??

MyCuteLittleTwat

What?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Tell him to keep his fucking hands to himself!

MyCuteLittleTwat

He's our friend!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

He's Honeycutt!

I don't know where his hands been

Although I have a pretty good idea

But I don't want them touching you!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh

Well, not gonna lie

He especially had to touch my ass

Those pants are sooo tight

I probably wouldn't have been able to get them on if it weren't for his skilled hands 😌

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Stop

Just stop

MyCuteLittleTwat

And if I'm being honest

It actually made me hard

Really hard... 😬

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Would you fucking stop already??

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah, it's probably better if you don't come to the party

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, why?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, I like Emmett's costume too

And he might need my help to take it off

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Jesus

Will you stop putting disgusting images in my head?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Sorry

Anyway, go back to what you were doing

I have to go help Emmett pick out some sexy underwear 🙃

Byeeee

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

One hour!

Not even a minute longer

MyCuteLittleTwat

Huh?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

That's how long I'm willing to be at that fucking party

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh, you really don't have to come

Emmett will keep me company 😉

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Two hours

And that's my final offer!

So don't push me

MyCuteLittleTwat

Okay! 😁

So do you want to be a cowboy or Superman?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I hate you so much

MyCuteLittleTwat

Cowboy it is 🤠

Love you!

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Jesus fucking Christ

This is so not how I wanted to spend today!

I mean, why the fuck do we have to do this every single year?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Um... probably because it's Christmas?

Which is something that happens every year? 🤨

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Exactly!

So why can't we just skip it at least once every few years?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Let me guess

Debbie put you on reindeer duty again?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh yeah

She somehow made it "my thing"

But I don't remember volunteering

MyCuteLittleTwat

Don't be bitter, it provokes wrinkles 😜

And it's better than hanging up Christmas lights or decorating the tree

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah that's easy for you to say

You're not the one who has to walk up and down the stairs a million times to get these fuckers down

MyCuteLittleTwat

So thanks to Deb, you're basically getting a free workout right now? 😆

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I'll give you a workout!

With my dick!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Mmmhm 🤤

That's my favorite kind of workout

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Don't we all know 😎

But seriously

I have no idea how she manages to fit them all in the attic

Considering the amount of useless things she has here

I've already tripped over something twice

I'm in serious danger of breaking something

MyCuteLittleTwat

aw, you poor baby

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Asshole

I'm just gonna throw them in the trash

Santa can take the herd back to the North Pole

MyCuteLittleTwat

I wouldn't joke about that

You know how much they mean to her

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Who says I'm joking?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Just get into the Christmas spirit 😉

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, that's very hard to do without a proper booze

Even the eggnog tastes like someone has already drunk it and vomited it back into my glass

MyCuteLittleTwat

You're disgusting 🤮

MyHotAsFuckBoyfrined

And bored out of my fucking mind!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Just suck it up

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I would much rather have you sucking my dick right now 😋

Seriously, when are you getting here?

It's not even actual Christmas yet and I'm already losing my damn mind

MyCuteLittleTwat

Not sure

Molly's making me wrap presents with her

And I promised my mom I'd help her decorate the house

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Great

So no fucking in Michael's old room today

MyCuteLittleTwat

And here I thought you were just missing my irresistible presence

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Duh

You have to be present for me to fuck you

MyCuteLittleTwat

Always the romantic

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Just get here soon

I wanna give you a big smooch under the mistletoe

MyCuteLittleTwat

I'll do my best, I promise 😘

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I hope so

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to break a few bones in order to get these fucking reindeer down before Debbie has a mental breakdown

MyCuteLittleTwat

Just don't break anything important

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Trust me, I'd rather break my neck than my dick

But luckily, I'm far from being even remotely hard, so we don't have to worry about that

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, that's a relief 🤣

Because I have some kinky plans for tonight

You wanna hear more?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I'd love to

But I'm pretty sure I won't be alive

MyCuteLittleTwat

Don't be such a drama queen 😄

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

No, I'm dead serious

Debbie's gonna murder me

MyCuteLittleTwat

And why would she do that?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Because I just accidentally ripped off Rudolph's antlers

MyCuteLittleTwat

Oh my god!

How the fuck did you do that?! 😲

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

I don't know!

He was stuck and I just pulled on his antlers and here we are

MyCuteLittleTwat

You are so dead

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Thanks Einstein

What the fuck do I do now?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Do you have duct tape?

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Duct tape?

What the hell am I gonna do with it?

Shut Debbie up?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Glue, then? 🤨

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Yeah, in my back pocket

I'll just take it out

No, Justin, I don't have fucking glue on me!

MyCuteLittleTwat

Well, then it was nice knowing you

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Do you think she's gonna notice Rudolph is missing?

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah, Brian, I'm pretty sure she's gonna notice

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Fuck my life

This is exactly why I hate Christmas!

I'm so skipping it next year

MyCuteLittleTwat

Yeah, I'm sure

Cause you're gonna be dead

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Thanks for reminding me

MyCuteLittleTwat

Quick question

Where did you hide my presents?

I wouldn't want them to be lost forever

MyHotAsFuckBoyfriend

Oh fuck you

MyCuteLittleTwat

🤣🤣🤣