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Michael woke up and despite the miserable state he was in after the crazy night he'd had, a huge smile immediately spread across his face as he felt a warm chest right bellow his head - a chest he just wanted to shower with tender kisses. And he really had to control himself not to. Instead, he just listened for a moment to the steady heartbeat that sounded so beautiful to him. He could honestly listen to it for hours.

And then he finally looked up at the most beautiful face he had ever seen. He almost had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't asleep because it felt like a dream… a beautiful dream he had almost every night… a dream he knew would never come true.

And his heart immediately sank at that thought… Brian had always been the forbidden fruit he wanted to taste the most, but he knew he couldn't. Of course, that didn't stop him from hoping, because no matter how much it hurt, he wanted Brian more than anything in this world. He just couldn't help it. He was totally and madly in love with him.

But he knew very well that Brian didn't feel the same way, and even if he did, he would never tell him. That's just how Brian was. He didn't do boyfriends and he didn't believe in love or relationships. In fact, he despised it. But even though he wasn't perfect, he was perfect to Michael. It was that simple.

Michael just couldn't tear his eyes away. And not only that - he was so close to pressing his lips to Brian's that he was actually afraid of waking him up with how close his face was to his. But he just wanted to taste him and feel the warmth and softness of Brian's mouth. Of course, he had kissed him many times before, but unfortunately always only as a friend. The last time it happened was several hours ago, right before they got high in Babylon's filthy bathroom. Except this time was different. They were cracking some jokes, just laughing together, and Brian kissed him as usual, letting him know he cared - in his own way, anyway. But the mixture of alcohol and horniness (and of course the huge attraction to Brian) caused Michael to suddenly lose all control and turn a normally innocent kiss into a wild and hungry one with his tongue deep inside Brian's mouth and his hands eagerly fighting the belt on his jeans, hoping to feel his cock. He simply couldn't hold back, he wanted him so badly, he didn't even know what got into him. It was like someone had taken over.

But of course Brian stopped it. And part of Michael was probably grateful for that because he really didn't want to destroy what they had between them and lose the friendship he had shared with Brian for so many years. It was enough that he had already made a complete fool of himself, so he definitely didn't want to lose Brian over it.

But the other part that had longed for Brian for so long felt very frustrated. And he honestly didn't know how much longer he could keep pretending that this was enough for him. Especially in situations like this, with Brian lying half-naked next to him.

It was just crazy what Brian was doing to him without even trying.

When Brian's eyes suddenly opened, glassy from the inevitable hangover, Michael immediately put on a smile, trying to act as if nothing had happened. Not that he expected Brian to remember (and even if he did, he wouldn't admit it anyway), but he really didn't want things to be awkward between them.

"Oh hey," Brian said with a yawn. "Shit, my head is killing me," he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah, mine too," Michael chuckled. "What a night."

"Mmmm," he hummed in agreement. "Well, now it's time to act like adults," with that Brian gave him a quick kiss on the lips and climbed out of bed.

And Michael was completely melting again. It was just a very brief peck... but to him it meant everything. But it also made him feel miserable, maybe even ashamed. Knowing Brian he would probably tell him he was being pathetic and he would probably be right. But it wasn't like he could just snap his fingers and stop loving him, although he wished it was that easy.

"For God's sake, Novotny, you're still in bed," Brian said in his annoyed voice when he came back from the bathroom. "Get your lazy ass up or we'll be late for work," he ordered, throwing his clothes at him.

And Michael immediately did as he was told and then they finally headed to work. As usual, Brian dropped him off at the Big Q, where he once again had to spend long hours pretending he didn't love a hard dick up his ass just to avoid losing his job. But knowing that he would see Brian again tonight kept him sane.

But the night ended up being just like any other - with Michael standing at the bar with Ted and Emmett, gritting his teeth in silent fury and trying to hold his heart together as he watched Brian on the dance floor with some shirtless guy, basically fucking him with his eyes. And of course, it didn't take long for Brian to grab him by the belt and drag him into the backroom.

Not wanting to deal with that shit tonight, he immediately followed him there, ready to cut his fun short. But of course he was already leaning against the wall and had his dick deep inside the shirtless guy's mouth. The first thought that came to his mind was that he would kill so he could be the one kneeling before him. But instead he could only watch and try to hold his anger in while pretending not to be bothered.

Although he had come to terms with the way Brian was a long time ago, it was still really hard for him to accept that anyone could have him but him.

"We need to go. We want to eat," he told him, putting emphasis on each word. As if that should somehow make him want to give up the blowjob.

"I'm just gonna give him my number," Brian replied, making Michael want to roll his eyes.

"What'd you do, you write it on your dick? How long is this gonna take?"

Brian grabbed the guy's head and looked at his face. "Ten minutes. Tops."

Michael did his best not to snort, and since he had absolutely no interest in witnessing what was about to happen next, he turned around and left the backroom, hoping the ten minutes would pass quickly. He then went outside to join Ted and Emmett, who of course didn't forget to remind him that Brian had him wrapped around his finger, only adding fuel to the fire.

And as if that wasn't enough, the guy who had been cruising him all night, was staring at him from a distance. Not that he was that bad, and considering it's been a while since he got laid, he should probably be glad someone was even showing him interest, but... he just wasn't the one he wanted.

God, he could basically hear Brian laughing at him and saying, "Mikey, you're so pathetic," over and over again.

But suddenly Brian's arm wrapped around his shoulders, making him instantly comfortable. And it was exactly these moments that made him wonder what it would be like if they were a real couple.

"That was quick," he pointed out.

Was that guy really that good?

"I got bored," Brian explained and Michael's lips immediately curled into a satisfied smile.

Emmett on the other hand could only laugh in amusement. "I know. Getting your dick sucked can be sooo tedious."

Yeah, only Brian could say something like that, but whatever. Michael was just happy that the worst part of the night was finally over and that now he would have Brian all to himself. Or at least that's what he naively thought.

Because that's when it happened. When he came along...

And at that very moment, the hope he still had that one day his best friend would love him back was crushed right before his eyes as he watched the blond twink completely steal not only Brian's attention, but his heart as well.

And Michael knew immediately that he'd lost him for good... even though he'd never really been his to lose...

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