Title: Here in Your Arms…
Story Type: AU
Word Count: 1497
Rating: R
Warnings: Passion and Lust…
Beta Queen: bigj52
Banner: pam81
Challenge: Carmen's ~ galehot Birthday

Summary: Brian and Justin miss each other…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Here in Your Arms…

Brian’s POV

I can’t stop thinking about the fact that Justin is wearing that weasel’s ring; he’s so gullible sometimes. I know Ian will eventually hurt him and I just wish he could see it. Not that I haven’t hurt him myself more than enough times; I just know this time it will really crush his heart and I hate to see him hurting. At least when I did it, it was for his own good; I never lied to him and I just know that he will…

God, I miss him so much. I can’t believe he just threw our love away. He kept telling me he was onto me. Hell, he chased me for over a year and when I finally give him what he wanted he just walked away. It just kills me every time I see him on the streets, holding hands with that rat; I really don’t know what he sees in him. He has nothing. He’s just average looking and never washes his hair; he’s so slimy and manipulative.

Now he’s out of town, playing at his first concert; Justin looks so sad sitting there at the bar I can’t help myself. I sit down next to him and offer to buy him a drink, but, of course he turns me down. He just continues to sit there, staring into space, playing with his matches. I want so badly to just hold him and tell him everything is going to be alright. I can tell that fucking fiddler has done something to him to make him so sad but there’s no way he’ll confide in me about it… So I just watch from afar hoping he’ll come back to me.

Justin’s POV

I can feel him before I see him. I always know when he’s close - the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up then I’m intoxicated by his smell; he always smells so good. His unique smell of sex, cologne and that smell that’s just him; it oozes out of his pores. I can’t help wanting him, I never really stopped. I guess some part of me was hoping that he’d come after me, asking me to come home. But I know now that was totally unrealistic; he’s made it totally clear he never goes after anyone.

I regret leaving the way I did. I regret leaving at all and now I feel stuck in a relationship that has moved too fast and has left me feeling so unsure of my feelings. Brian’s right. I fell for all the pretty words that Ethan whispered to me about only wanting to be with someone that wants to be with me… Yet here he is just a few weeks later and I see him inviting someone new into his hotel room. Yes, it was wrong of me to come to his concert and then follow him afterwards. I’ve never felt so crushed; I felt so foolish for having believed him and not listening to my heart.

I love Brian. I’ve always loved Brian and part of me always will. I just have to wonder if he still loves me; he’s always nice to me every time I’ve seen him since the breakup. I was sure he’d be sarcastic and cruel to me but he’s always the opposite. That’s what gives me hope that there’s still some feelings left for me deep down inside of him. I know now that Brian loved me even if he didn’t say it, he showed it to me every day in every way. I was just too blind to see it.

My eyes can’t help but follow him around the bar, watching so many guys gesturing to him, letting him know that they’re interested. But he just ignores them as he plays pool with Ted. He wins, of course, and then he leaves, alone and I just can’t help wondering why. I leave shortly afterwards and start walking home; I’m not really paying much attention to where I’m going. I just seem to be wandering through the street. I don’t really want to go back to Ethan’s place, it’s never really felt like my place and I can’t help but feeling homeless.

It’s cold outside and this February wind cuts right through me. I find myself across the street from the loft, just watching as a young blond-haired man enters the building. I’m shocked as this guy could be my twin, he looks so much like me. I can’t help but look at my watch and notice that it’s just before three am. Something pulls me along as I walk across the street and punch in the alarm code and enter Brian’s building. I climb the stairs slowly, anticipating what I will see.

Just as I reach the top floor I see the blond entering Brian’s door; he almost closes it completely, but then he leaves it open just a couple of inches. I stand there mesmerized by what I just saw. I can’t seem to move as I watch him cross the loft and enter the bedroom. He seems so familiar with the place like he’s been there many times before. I can’t help myself. I squeeze into the loft without making any sound; he’s there, standing at the end of Brian’s bed, slowly stripping off his clothes and I’m struck again by how much he looks like me. He even dresses like me, it’s spooky.

He climbs up onto the bed, my side of the bed and it totally pisses me off. How dare he! He lies down and faces Brian. Neither one has said a word to each other. Brian reaches up and turns him over, face down onto the mattress; he leans up on one shoulder and runs his hands through this guy’s hair. It’s so sensual, so loving and I can’t help being totally jealous of this guy. Brian climbs onto his back and sheathes his cock; his movements are slow and tender and it kills me that Brian is truly making love to this guy.

I know I should leave but I just can’t help watching the two of them; it hurts so much and I wish I was this guy. Brian is now pumping harder, thrusting in and out of him and I’m shocked when I hear him softly say, “I love you so much, Sunshine.” What! Did I just hear him correctly? And that’s when I get it… He’s wishing he was with me. I can’t help my heart from singing. I’m grinning so wide and I haven’t ever felt this happy in my life. I watch as Brian comes, loudly crying out my name. Then he leans down, placing his forehead in the center of the trick’s back and I hear him whisper, “I miss you so much, Sunshine.” My heart is totally on fire as I hear him declare his love for me. Brian rolls over onto his side of the bed, throwing his arm across his face.

The trick stays there until he’s sure Brian is asleep and then he slowly gets up and dresses. I slip out of sight behind the closet and watch as he walks across the loft to the dining room table. He takes the cash that’s sitting there, and then quietly closes the loft door, leaving me here alone with Brian. I stand there, watching Brian sleep and I’ve never seen him look more beautiful. I climb into bed with him and snuggle right up to him, holding him tight as he sleeps.

Brian shifts in his sleep, nuzzling his face in Justin’s hair, breathing in his scent as his hands wander over his naked body. Brian can’t help the erection he’s sporting as he rubs his body up against the one he’s missed for so long. The two of them grope each other as they both enjoy the familiar touch that’s so ingrained into their souls. Justin can’t help but place soft butterfly kisses all over Brian’s exposed skin as he whispers how much he missed him; it feels so good to be back in Brian’s arms back where he belongs. He finally feels at peace with himself as he floats off to sleep.

Justin’s POV

The next morning I wake to Brian loudly asking me, “What the fuck are you still doing here?” I pull my head out from under Brian’s long arms and stare straight into his eyes and say, “You said it was my choice where I wanted to be…”

I watch slowly as Brian realizes it is me sleeping there next to him, not the trick. He pulls me close to him, kissing me deeply and passionately, showing me just how much he loves me. I whisper into his ear “I love you, Brian, and I hope you can forgive me for all the mistakes I’ve made. I now know that the place I need to be is here in your arms.” 

The End...