For Richer or For Poorer by galeandrandy
FeatureSummary:

Alternate Universe, Hustler!Justin, John!Brian

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." - Dalai Lama

Because sometimes you get exactly what you never knew you needed.

Thanks to Cheryl for editing.


Categories: QAF US, Reader's Choice Award Characters: Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor, Other Cast Regulars
Tags: Prostitution
Genres: Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Pairings: Brian/Justin
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 15 Completed: Yes Word count: 76984 Read: 68316 Published: Jun 30, 2016 Updated: Mar 01, 2018
Story Notes:

Alternate Universe, Mostly In Character. A bit of a different take on Justin becoming a hustler. Thank you to Cheryl for the revamping edit of this fiction.

1. Chapter 1 - Chicago by galeandrandy

2. Chapter 2 - Cover Me by galeandrandy

3. Chapter 3 - Submerged by galeandrandy

4. Chapter 4 - Cascade by galeandrandy

5. Chapter 5 - Torrent by galeandrandy

6. Chapter 6 - Poor Man by galeandrandy

7. Chapter 7 - Fortunate Son by galeandrandy

8. Chapter 8 - The Root of The Problem by galeandrandy

9. Chapter 9 - The Cost by galeandrandy

10. Chapter 10 - Martyr . . . dum, dum, dum by galeandrandy

11. Chapter 11 - Worthy by galeandrandy

12. Chapter 12 - Your Imagination by galeandrandy

13. Chapter 13 - To Hold On by galeandrandy

14. Chapter 14 - The Better Side of Worse by galeandrandy

15. Chapter 15 - No More Pretending by galeandrandy

Chapter 1 - Chicago by galeandrandy

Nothing makes you forget about love like sex." ~ Staci Beasley 

*****

 

Friday, February 11, 2005

Brian flipped his ringing cell phone open and pressed it against his ear. "About fucking time you called me back," he barked in greeting.

"If you hadn't decided to leave a five minute message bitching me out, I might've been able to get through to your phone two seconds after you called," Cynthia replied, not one to back down in the face of her boss' bullshit. "Now tell me what the problem is," she spoke impatiently.

"The problem! I fucking left you a message detailing exactly..."

"If you don't lower your tone of voice right now I'm going to hang up," Cynthia interrupted Brian. "I couldn't understand half of your message and I've got a migraine from staring at the computer researching what you asked me to find."

"Never mind that," Brian told the woman, pacing the marble floor of the penthouse suite. "I've got a bigger problem."

Cynthia groaned, "What?"

"Randall Lewis didn't meet me."

"Brian, I made sure to confirm the appointment before your flight this morning."

"I know you did," he replied. "While I was in the air his wife, who is vacationing in Hawaii, sprained her elbow while practicing surfing."

"Surfing? That woman has got to be almost sixty!"

"Which probably had something to do with her losing her balance and spraining her elbow when she fell into the sand," Brian snickered.

"The sand," Cynthia gasped, "but sand is soft!"

"That may be the case, but the point is he had to rush to his wittle wifey's side so that he can personally escort her back to Chicago on Monday."

Cynthia swore under her breath and replied, "This sucks."

"Exactly," Brian growled. "Why is it that out of all the clients and potential clients Kinnetik has, Randall Lewis has to be not only the richest and most profitable CEO, but also the most faithful and whipped?" 

"Well let's just hope that his faithfulness will apply to Kinnetik once you get the account."

"Which is the reason I called."

"I'm looking up flights now," Cynthia told him.

"Hold off on that," Brian told her. "I can't leave until after I meet with Lewis sometime Tuesday afternoon."

"But you can't stay there. You've got to be here tomorrow afternoon to meet with Rollins."

"Right, well there's a problem with that."

"What?" Cynthia asked hesitantly.

"Do you remember the tactic I used to get a meeting with him?"

"Oh yeah, that," Cynthia spoke, sighing deeply. "That wasn't a ‘tactic', Brian. It was a lie."

"Precisely," Brian replied dryly. "He thinks I'm in town visiting my fiancé for the holiday weekend. Consequently, I should have no problem staying in Chicago an extra day or so until Lewis can meet with me."

"But there's a huge fucking problem! You can't stay there," Cynthia retorted. "You have three meetings on Tuesday with our three biggest clients!"

"I can't leave. He assured me that he would not meet with me or anyone else from Kinnetik if I didn't stay."

"Shit," Cynthia groaned.

"That's not the worst of it. He wants me to invite my fiancé to stay at the hotel and he's informed the staff to take care of the tab. Randall thinks it's a great idea for me to become accustomed to the services that Lewis Hotels and Enterprises give their partners and guests. He says it will give me a feel for the overall design of the campaign."

"Does he know that you already have the preliminary campaign worked out?" Cynthia asked, exasperated at Randall Lewis' demands and the trouble they were causing Kinnetik.

"No, because when I showed up to meet with him, he'd already left. His secretary got me on the phone with him and I could barely get a word in about the campaign."

"Brian, what am I supposed to do about the clients you're scheduled to meet with on Tuesday? Ted won't be back from his vacation until Friday so there's no way that I can get him to cover. They've all requested to meet with you personally."

"Their accounts in one year won't bring in a fourth of what Lewis Enterprises will bring in for us in a quarter. Try to reschedule with them and if you can't, I'll call them myself."

"Rollins has already rescheduled with us twice," Cynthia reminded him.

"Then he should understand when family emergencies take precedence."

Cynthia laughed. "But it's not your family's emergency."

"Need I remind you of Gus' college fund?" Brian asked.

"Need I remind you that he's four years old? You'll have plenty of time to put away for that, not that I believe you haven't already," Cynthia retorted.

"Whatever. Try rescheduling those other meetings, email me the revised schedule and let me know if any of them say they won't take another meeting," Brian told the woman.

"You do know that I'm not your assistant, right?"

"Of course I know that, Cynthia. I'm reminded of that every time I split Kinnetik's profits with you and Theodore."

"Right, boss," Cynthia snickered. "So what are you going to do for the rest of the evening? Pretend to wine and dine your fake fiancé with hotel favors?"

"Very funny," Brian barked. "Actually, it's been a long time since I've hit the clubs here. I think I'll look up an old friend."

"Just be careful who you take back to the hotel," Cynthia warned him. "You don't want it getting back to Lewis that you've had an orgy in your room while he was away."

"Thanks for the advice," the brunet sneered in a fake happy voice and snapped his phone shut.

*****


Brian opened the hotel room door, looked at the boy before him and laughed. "You've got the wrong room. I think the little high school party is a few floors down."

The blond took a step back, looked at the penthouse number plate beside the door, and then turned his gaze back to Brian. "You're Mr. Kinney, right?"

Realizing that his worst fears were coming true, he cautiously replied, "Yeah, why?"

"Then I'm in the right place, Mr. Kinney. I'm not here for a high school party."

"You're from the agency?" Brian barked out a growling laugh, doing nothing to hide his distaste.

The elevator doors down the hall across from his room opened, and Brian saw a room service waiter turn out and head their way. The last thing he needed was someone from the hotel to know he'd hired a teenage hooker and have it get back to Mr. Lewis. He had gone so far as to specifically request for the trick to arrive in nice clothing so he wouldn't draw attention to himself. The blond wasn't dressed in chaps and a mesh top, but he looked like a kid.

"So?" the blond ran one of his hands over his chest and the other cupped his dick.

"Get in here," Brian, growled, shutting the door and pulling the hustler into the living area.

"Jesus shit, man! If you wanted someone who likes it rough, you should've requested it. I'm not some fucking...."

"Shut up," Brian hissed. Hearing the expected knock on the door he placed his hand over the prostitute's mouth and whispered, "That's my fucking food and I don't need the waiter seeing me with a..."

"A man," the blond finished what he thought was a predictable end to the older man's sentence. He pushed Brian away from him and laughed. "It figures."

"I was actually going to say teenager," Brian snickered back. "I could care less if they see me with another man."

"I'm not a..."

"You came early so you need to be quiet," Brian interrupted the blond, taking him by the arm and leading him into the bedroom of the suite.

"I always come on time," the blond defended and glanced at his watch. "Lucas said to be here at nine. It's..."

"Just be quiet and stay in here until the fucking waiter leaves," Brian spoke, exasperated. He shut the bedroom door and quickly made his way to the suite's door. "Just a second," he called when the knocking became more persistent.

Brian opened the door and ushered the waiter inside. "Just put the cart over there," he directed, motioning to the alcove behind the dining table.

"You can leave the cart in the hall when you're finished and someone from the staff will pick it up," the waiter told Brian. He gave Brian a smile that was far too happy for Brian's preference.

Brian dug into his jeans pocket and handed the man a twenty-dollar bill. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, Mr. Kinney. Have a nice evening," the man replied, walking into the hall.

Brian made a point to turn the sign hanging on his door handle to ‘Do Not Disturb', and closed it. When he turned around, he saw the hustler provocatively standing against the wall beside the bedroom. One hand curled around his thin hip, the other hand twirled in his hair and he was jutting his crotch forward. 

The blond inquired, "So, are we going to start this before or after you eat?"

Brian impatiently rolled his eyes. "We're not going to do this at all. I asked for a young man, not a kid."

The hustler grabbed a piece of paper out of his pocket and opened it. "Mr. Kinney, Lewis Hotel, Penthouse 2, wants a young blond, nicely dressed." The prostitute motioned to himself. "That's me. Services include full night package, available until ten a.m., no leather, no toys, and piercings are okay." He looked up at Brian for a moment then continued to read, "Sometimes, you like it dirty, you like to be in control but you also want a big cock just in case you decide to be on..."

"Okay!" Brian yelled. "Fuck! I know what I fucking ordered."

"I am not a fucking bowl of soup. I'm a human being," the hustler declared, straightening his stance. "You didn't order me. You requested me."

"I fail to see the difference," Brian replied and grabbed his cell phone off the table. "It doesn't matter because you're leaving."

"Are you kidding me? You can't fucking just kick me out! This is Friday night and all of my appointments are canceled because I'm here to fucking fulfill your fantasies."

Brian laughed at the blond and roared, "You are not part of any fantasy I've ever had."

"I suppose you go for guys that have huge muscles and are much older than yourself? This way you can feel dominant and young at the same time," the blond spit. "Fuck this, I'll just leave and have the agency fucking bill you and then blacklist you for this shit." He stalked past Brian and started for the door.

Brian watched the blond's stellar ass sway as he walked to the door and his neglected dick betrayed him, jumping in his pants and begging for the ass his eyes followed. "Fuck," he mumbled under his breath. "You don't have to leave, you can stay," he growled.

The blond turned sharply on his heel. "You'll treat me like I'm a human being, not a bowl of fucking chicken soup?"

Brian had never heard anything more preposterous. Hell, the whole situation and conversation they were having was irrational. However, he still felt compelled to question snidely, "I thought chicken soup was good for the soul?"

The blond cracked up laughing and gave Brian a smile he had never before given any customer. "I bet my cream sauce is better," he teased, walking back toward Brian and unzipping his blue-gray sweater. "You wanna taste me?" he asked, cupping his crotch over his jeans.

Brian put his hands on the blond's shoulders and stopped him before their bodies touched. "I'm going to eat real food first. Why don't you take a shower?"

"What? Do I stink?" The hustler lifted his arm and smelled his pit.

Brian laughed and sniffed the prostitute's neck. "No, you don't stink. But I'm not fucking an ass that still has lube from another fuck, which I'm pretty certain yours has."

"Fair enough," the blond said, shrugging his shoulders. He wouldn't deny the fact that he'd left his last appointment without taking a shower and went directly to the man's hotel room when his boss had called him. "Where's the bathroom?"

Brian pointed to the door beside the bedroom. "Through there," he directed. Remembering that he'd left his wallet and watch on the counter top in the bathroom, he retrieved it before allowing the hustler to walk in.

"I wouldn't have stolen anything," the younger man balked. "It could get me fired."

"Whatever." Brian shut the door behind the blond and wondered what the fuck he'd been thinking when he called the agency.

He'd looked up his friend Clyde from college earlier that day to see if he wanted to hit the club circuit with him. However, Clyde had already arranged for a hustler for himself that night. He had invited Brian to participate, but after hearing about how ‘reputable' the agency was, Brian had asked for a referral and called the agency for his own personal entertainment.

The blond hustler was much younger than what he'd asked for. He distinctly remembered saying that he wanted a man between the ages of twenty-four to thirty. The hustler that was now in his bathroom showering definitely did not look anywhere near twenty-four. He guessed that the kid had probably lied about his age to the agency. Brian knew that he had to make sure that the kid was legal before he touched him.

He walked over to the tray of food and lifted the lid. "Son of a bitch," he gasped when he saw the array of items on the plates. He looked on the second level of the cart and saw two bottles of wine, which he didn't order, and the fifth of Jim Beam, which he had. Looking back on the top tray, he saw a card that read: ‘With compliments of Lewis Hotel & Enterprises'. There were more plates of food than he could ever eat and he was sure that the chef had prepared a sample of almost everything on the menu, including the plate of shrimp and steak he had ordered.

*****



Justin had expected a much different man when he'd knocked on the door of the penthouse suite. Usually the men that stayed in penthouses were fat, old and married. They claimed, as most of his customers did, that they weren't gay. They somehow drew the conclusion that they weren't cheating; they fucked a man as opposed to a woman. That excuse and many like it were usually what greeted him when he met the customers. Occasionally a good-looking man would fuck him, but again, they usually preceded the fuck with some sort of excuse about why they hired him. Justin was sure it was because they wanted to remind him of his place in life as well as their own place in life. When the greetings were complete, the men would order him to strip, tell him how hot his body was and describe exactly what they wanted to do with him.

Mr. Kinney had done neither. In fact, he seemed to be less than impressed with his boyish features. He hadn't rushed him into the bedroom because he was afraid of anyone finding out that he was a homosexual or because he looked like a hustler. The reason had been that he didn't want anyone to see him with someone who looked as young as he did.

What he had assessed about the man's sexual partners, he figured was probably true and the man hadn't denied it. Yet, he'd never met a customer that didn't enjoy his young body and that perplexed him. Even more perplexing was that Justin had never met a customer whose words had actually gotten under his skin. From his first customer, he'd always let their words and actions slide off him. It was different to hear it from such a gorgeous and intense man. The man was hot, which affected him too; it had made him hard without him having to work at it, and that fact annoyed the fuck out of him.

Justin cleaned himself and then dried his body off with one of the thick, large hotel towels. He wiped the fog from the mirror and looked at himself, wondering if he should use the man's razor and shave the stubble he saw on his cheeks and chin. He decided against it, realizing that the reason he usually shaved so often was that men usually wanted to fuck a boy who looked innocent. Mr. Kinney definitely didn't want that.

Justin looked at the clothes he'd placed on the granite counter, the same place where his customer had grabbed his watch and wallet in a hurry. He laughed to himself as he considered if he should put back on his clothes or walk out naked. In the reflection of the mirror, his eyes caught the white terry-cloth bathrobe hanging behind him.

*****


Brian looked up from his plate as the blond exited the bathroom. His mouth watered, but not because of the strawberry he chewed. The hustler was dressed in an oversized white robe, walking toward him with the sexiest ‘come hither' expression Brian had ever seen.

"Are you expecting more people?" the blond asked worriedly, glancing around the room to make sure there was no one else in it.

"No," Brian assured him. "They sent me food to sample." He gestured to the array of plates he placed on the dining table. "Feel free to dig in to whatever you want," he offered.

"Cool," Justin spoke, sitting down in the chair across from Brian. "So, Mr. Kinney, are you a food critic?"

Brian snickered, "Not professionally, no. Could you stop calling me, Mr. Kinney?"

"Of course," Justin said around a mouthful of chocolate soufflé. "What would you like me to call you?" He silently hoped that the man wouldn't say something cheesy as many customers did.

"Brian," the older man answered.

"Let me guess," Justin spoke. "It's the first name of your favorite actor?"

"What?" Brian was sure that his time with the blond was the weirdest experience he'd ever had with a hustler.

"Uhm... your favorite author?" Justin queried.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Brian asked, dabbing his lips with the cloth napkin.

"Your ‘code name'," Justin explained.

"Code name?" the brunet snarked. "I'm not a fucking spy. It's my first name."

"Oh," Justin gasped in surprise. He only ever knew the last names of customers, and that was usually only those who were regulars and would at times buy him ‘special gifts,' or treat him better than the other clients did. He definitely never told them his first name and never inquired about theirs. However, he found himself speaking and couldn't stop himself. "I'm Justin."

"I don't usually learn the names of the guys I fuck," Brian admitted, taking a drink of his whiskey.

"Me neither," Justin told him, looking down at his plate. "Fuck. The only time I ever had a half-way meaningful conversation during dinner with a customer is when this one guy had me put on a dress and wanted me to reenact the night he first fucked a girl. He had champagne chilling, dinner on the skanky hotel room's table and roses covering the bed."

"What?" Brian snickered and put his hands over his eyes. "I really didn't need that mental image, not when I might be fucking you in a few minutes."

Justin laughed. "It wasn't so bad. The guy paid me double and I was able to sell the diamond necklace he made me wear too. It paid my rent for two months and I got to splurge on some new pencils."

Brian was afraid to ask but he did anyway, "Pencils?"

Justin sighed. "I used to be an artist."

"You used to be?" Brian asked.

"I used to attend The Art Institute here," Justin, admitted. "I used to sell my sketches in Grant Park, but I don't have time for that anymore."

"Why don't you have time now? Too many dicks to suck?" Brian asked boldly.

Justin dropped his roll and pushed his plate away. "No. I just don't have the time. By the way, time is ticking," he spoke haughtily. "So whenever you're ready..."

So I hit a sore spot, Brian thought, almost caring about why he had. Betrayed by his cock and another thought he asked, "Can I see your I.D.?"

"Why?" Justin asked worriedly. "Are you planning on stalking me?"

"No, I want to make sure that you're eighteen."

Justin groaned. "Let me see yours first," he said.

Brian rolled his eyes but grabbed his wallet from his pocket and slid it over to the blond. "Don't steal any of that money."

Justin laughed. "You're like sitting across from me. Besides, it's probably mine anyways," he reasoned, reading the I.D. card. He itched to flip through the other business cards and photographs but stopped himself, handing Brian back the wallet. "You don't look like you're almost thirty-five," he commented, grabbing his license from his backpack and handing it to Brian.

"What about your earlier attempt to joke about my age?" Brian queried. Satisfied to see that Justin was actually a week away from turning twenty-three, he handed the man back his license.

Justin shrugged. "It was true, wasn't it?"

"Partly," Brian admitted. "And for the record, I'm not afraid to be seen with another man or a hustler. I just have an aversion to being arrested."

"You're not afraid to be seen with a hustler?" Justin laughed in disbelief.

"I couldn't give a fuck what people think. However, this weekend I have business here and I don't need the staff informing the uptight, oh-so-faithful CEO that the head of his potential ad agency was seen fucking a boy prostitute."

"Understandable," Justin commented, rising from the table. He walked around it and sank to his knees beside Brian's chair. Running his hands up Brian's legs he asked, "So now that you know I'm not jailbait, do you wanna tell me what you want to do?"

Brian grinned down at Justin and took a sip of his whiskey as he thought about it. He placed the glass back on the table and used his free hands to run them through Justin's long golden strands. The younger man had the silkiest hair he'd ever had the pleasure of touching and Brian kicked himself for thinking something so lame about a prostitute. His hands roamed a path down the blond's pale neck and rested under his chin while his thumbs ghosted across Justin's pink lips. He considered his next move while he imagined how hot it would be to have Justin's lips stretched around his cock. "Stand up," he ordered gruffly, deciding upon his next course of action.

Justin's eyebrows drew together in confusion. He actually hoped to have a look at Brian's cock and was surprised when the man hadn't jumped at the chance to have him suck him off. Brian probably wasn't the sort of man that needed to hire escorts to get his dick sucked though. Justin figured Brian had only called for a hustler because the man wanted an easy fuck. He obeyed Brian's request and stood above him, a rare position for him to be in with a customer. "What now?" he asked, feeling the ebb and flow of unwanted anticipation sizzle under his skin.

Brian smiled saucily and directed in a husky tone, "I want to watch you strip that virginal robe off as you walk into the bedroom." Seeing Justin frown he added, "I'll be right behind you."

Justin slowly turned, walked one step, loosened the robe's tie a little and pulled the fabric so it revealed his shoulder. He looked over his exposed body part, met Brian's eyes and licked his lips.

Chapter 2 - Cover Me by galeandrandy

When you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. ~ J.P. Donleavy 

*****

 

Brian couldn't decide whether or not he enjoyed the blond's antics or if he thought they were appalling. He restrained himself from laughing at Justin and adjusted his ever-hard dick.

Justin allowed the terrycloth to fall down to his elbows and licked his lips. He took a few more ass swaying steps, allowing the robe to fall with each one before pausing and letting it fall to just above the swell of his ass. "You coming?" he asked, turning away from Brian's heated gaze. He dropped the robe completely and walked into the bedroom, his heart beating unexpectedly quick with each step he took.

Brian couldn't believe how he felt watching Justin disappear into the bedroom. One flash of the hustler's voluptuous and perfectly sculpted ass brought Brian's body to a quivering cusp of raunchy need. He'd fucked thousands of men, but none had him yearning to taste their center the way the blond had with a small glance at his ass. Brian actually drooled at the thought of partaking in the act with Justin. His hormones only spared him a few seconds to think about why this was, and how odd it was. Brian's hormones dominated his conscious mind and he found himself standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

Sweat broke out across Brian's skin, an intrinsic response to the vision before him. He heaved a shaky breath out, then in, and out once more, trying to lock onto one of the hundreds of possibilities that flashed through his mind. There was so much he wanted to do with Justin, which he thought was crazy since not a half hour before he'd been ready to kick the kid to the curb.

Justin balanced himself on one arm, head down and turned to the side, the tip of his pointer finger dancing around his wrinkled, moist skin. He closed his eyes and for the first time since he joined the escort service, he begged his mind to retreat to the garden of dreams and willed his hustler persona to overcome him. Usually, by this point in the game, he'd already slipped on the façade and assumed the role of the whore. Justin Taylor disappeared into the land of good, happiness and love. Meanwhile, his body ran on its own. This time, he could not reach that dreamland; his body betrayed him, overtaking his mind. He could not fall away from the act.

This night was unlike any other job; the trick was unlike any other man Justin had been with. He could not find the script within him that would define his role. There was no scene no matter how he tried to build the setting. He desired his customer, his hard cock and needy hole weren't propped by the dark characteristics of the whore, a never fading spotlight exposed the truth, they were within him.

He opened his eyes and met Brian's glassy hazel orbs. He felt his body blush with heat as Brian's gaze turned to the finger he now moved inside himself. Brian looked back into his eyes a second later, his eyes softer but still lusty-dark. An embarrassing sensation crawled up his curved spine and made its way into his brain, demanding him to smile softly, invitingly, at Brian Kinney.

In moments, Justin went from escort to man. The way Brian smiled back at him, asking him if he was ready to play, made him realize he could not hide. There was no act for him to perform tonight.

Brian sat beside Justin's legs and placed his hand over the blond's busy one. He requested for him to stop, though his words came out as an order, "Stop, Justin." He held his hand over Justin's and kept holding it as the boy's finger withdrew from his body. "I don't need a display," he said, completely in contrast from what he'd asked for only a few moments before at the dining table.

Justin felt Brian's long fingers twine with his own for a second. The older man moved his hand away and Justin felt as though he was being reprimanded. His gut wrenched and shame crept into his thoughts, fueling his heart's pumping. For the first time in two years of hustling his ass, he felt dirty, though he hadn't done anything sexual with the man, yet. All he'd touched was Mr. Kinney's jean-covered thighs and his hand, the hand that held his in a warm grasp.

Brian watched goosebumps appear on Justin's skin, first on the back of the hand that was resting on his ass cheeks and as soon as his eyes zeroed in on them, they spread like wildfire across the rest of the hustler's pale smooth skin. "You cold?" he asked.

"No," Justin choked out.

Brian placed his thumb on the blond's coccyx, slowly dragging it up Justin's skin, dipping and softly kneading it into every vertebra until he reached the end of his curved spine. He fanned his hand out and gripped Justin's neck for a moment before giving in to the urge to sift his fingers through the blond's hair.

Justin pushed himself onto his side. This position forced his body to twist uncomfortably on the bed and his thoughts warped. His anticipation melded with shame and confusion, Justin's blood boiled with confused desire and it all harvested anger within him. "Are you going to fuck me?" he hissed, realizing that if he had to actively take a role then he would have to choose the one that would protect him the most. "Or do you have a problem getting it up?"

Brian planned to savor Justin's body, but that thought, combined with Justin's sudden temper and crude assumption pissed him off. He didn't savor any trick and definitely would not apply the action to a prostitute. "Yeah, I plan on fucking you real hard. But you need to cut the fucking attitude because I may not hire a hustler every day, but I'm pretty sure that you're here to please me. Not the other way around," Brian warned.

Justin turned back onto his knees and wiggled his ass. "Whatever you want, sir," he spit, degrading aggravation biting at him from deep within his tumbling thoughts.

"Not so fast," Brian spoke as he stood up from the bed. "Undress me," he ordered.

Justin rolled his eyes under his closed lids, then hefted himself up and crawled to the side of the bed. He looked up at his customer and opened the first button on the white shirt, giving back as much heat with his own eyes as Brian's hazel ones revealed.

Brian couldn't distinguish the reasons why the friction between them kept flip-flopping. He wanted a fuck. That was all he wanted. He had ordered a man that he could fuck at will all night. He wanted to lose himself in sex, the same way he always did. Why his dick chose to flicker with power and allow him more thoughts than he felt were required for his planned night, was beyond his comprehension or control. He was relieved when Justin pulled his undershirt off him, breaking their stare for a moment.

Justin threw Brian's shirt to the floor and then moved his hands to the snap on Brian's jeans. The older man's smell permeated his senses as he leaned toward him, stuck his tongue out and licked at Brian's abs while unsnapping and unzipping Brian's pants. 

"Lower," Brian directed when his dick trapped by his black briefs rubbed against Justin's chin as the blond laved around his belly button.

Justin was glad for Brian's direction; it coated his body in memory and helped give ammo to the ingrained actions and spell he wove around him while he entertained a customer. Brian kept whispering orders. With each word, Justin was able to go into autopilot and gained the altitude he needed to achieve the place where he could free fall into the numbness that the flight permitted by his body.

*****


On his back with his head propped up on soft down pillows; Brian watched Justin's head bob up and down and experienced the delicious squeeze and slide of the blond's fevered sucking mouth. If he were able to have a conscious, rational thought, he would have told Justin that he'd never had a blowjob that could rival the one he was giving him. None of the many tricks and professional cocksuckers Brian encountered compared to Justin.

Justin's mouth made a popping noise as he released Brian's dick from his now puffy pink lips. He licked them, looked up at Brian with a proud smile, and asked, "Do you wanna come like this?"

Brian groaned when the blond licked his lips again. The movement was so close to his cock that the tip of Justin's tongue brushed against Brian's come-weeping slit. He propelled himself up, grabbed Justin under his arms and fell back onto the bed. Their bodies mashed together as Brian forced his mouth to suction onto Justin's open, gasping one.

Justin kept his eyes closed as he kissed Brian. He's never made a rule about not kissing customers, but it was rare that a customer initiated it. The ferocity behind Brian's kiss and the undeniable lust that overcame him, fueled by Brian's mouth, tore him away from his cloud and anchored him in the present. He was weeping groans into Brian's mouth as he gave into it, unable to fight the current of pleasure flowing between him and the older man.

Brian grabbed the condom and lube from the bedside table with one hand, his other still holding the back of Justin's head, holding their kiss. He turned his head and Justin's mouth met the skin under his ear, hungry to kiss the spot. "Lean back," Brian spoke, toes curling as the blond bit him. He grabbed Justin's hair and pulled on it when it appeared he hadn't heard him.

Justin's dilated, dark blue eyes met Brian's and he breathed erratically. "What?" he asked, confused and turned on by Brian's action.

Brian untangled his hand from Justin's hair and used it to push the blond's chest up. "Put this on me," he spoke, placing the condom and lube packet in Justin's hand.

*****

A couple strokes of his lubed fingers inside the surprisingly tight hole, another packet of slick lube applied generously to his sheathed cock, and Brian was separating Justin's cheeks with his hands. His eyes remained fixated on Justin's entrance as the blond hovered over his cock.

The fingers of Justin's left hand dug into Brian's sculpted left thigh. His breath came out as a deep guttural moan when his body finally gave way to the cockhead's girth. He removed his right hand from around the base of the brunet's dick, placed it on Brian's right thigh and with the added support, he relaxed the inside of his body and slowly slid himself down.

Brian let go of Justin's ass and leaned back on his elbows, needing to absorb and adjust to the hustler's narrow heated passage. He bit his lip when Justin squeezed his muscles around him and cursed himself after hearing a whimper escape his throat.

"You like that?" Justin asked, looking over his shoulder at Brian, smiling smugly.

Brian wouldn't answer the blond; he wouldn't answer anyone that so daringly asked him what they knew to be true. He hefted himself up, readjusted both he and Justin's bodies and bit the blond's neck to show him that he didn't appreciate his bold amusement.

Justin shivered in Brian's arms, his hole felt so stretched in the position they were now in. Brian was on his knees behind him, his own legs in between Brian's, his ass sitting in his lap, his back against Brian's chest. The brunet nibbled along his neck, laving his tongue back and forth to soothe the sting of each bite he took, arms wrapped around him. Brian squeezed his nipples every time he licked the bites he'd left. The fuck had barely begun and already Justin was harder than he'd ever been with a customer and eagerly wanting Brian to move within him. He wanted it so bad; he knew he'd never wanted anything as much as he ached for the dick in him to move, to please him.

Brian had told him that he wasn't there to give him pleasure, but Justin couldn't believe it. He rolled his head back on Brian's shoulder, opened his mouth and let out a long groan that Brian swallowed. Brian thrust into him, but angled his cock appropriately to please him. He could've just fucked him hard, rough and without care, as many had before, but he didn't. He had built up Justin's pleasure before even making the first thrust.

Brian slid his cock in and out of Justin, barely pulling out of the warm depths and keeping a near-constant pressure on Justin's swollen gland, instinctively hitting it, nudging it perfectly because of the position they were in. His hands explored Justin's body, feeling the toned muscles of Justin's thighs, stomach and chest. Justin's skin was slick with sweat, as was his own. Justin's enthusiasm and skill in their fuck thrilled Brian. The brunet could tell that the hustler wasn't just giving him the basics, enough to please him and to get him off. Justin was enjoying the sex and wanting it as much as he did.

*****


It took Brian a few minutes of holding Justin's half-hard, sticky dick in his hand, before he could muster the energy to open his fingers and use that hand to hold onto the full condom as he gently pulled out of the blond. His dick was still hard and wished for the warmth it had just left, but Brian needed a moment to recover.

Hell, he needed more than a moment. Something crazy had happened after he grabbed onto Justin's cock and started stroking it. The blond had reached back, held onto his hips, pressed his fingernails into Brian's skin and begun slamming himself down and then up, matching Brian's rhythm, indulging in the bliss they felt.

Brian had what he asked for, what he needed. He had wanted to lose himself in a fuck and he certainly had. It could have happened with any trick, but it was different when it was Justin's body. He was never alone as he soared toward his climax. Justin was with him with every pulse leading into nirvana. They tumbled over the cliff repeatedly with each jet of jizz he released into the condom.

Brian's condom wrapped dick stayed between their bodies as his senses came back to him, slowly ascending away from the numbing ecstasy. Brian's muscles ached from the exertion he used. This was the excuse Brian accepted which allowed Justin to stay lying on top of him. It had only felt like a few minutes had passed since they came and he wasn't quite sure what the odd sound was that Justin was making. The blond's head was tilted away from Brian, lying just under his chin.

"Justin," he spoke, his words only a whisper, his voice hoarse from the moaning and grunting he'd done. "Justin," he said a little louder, running his hand up Justin's arm and tilting his head toward him.

Brian's eyes widened at what he saw. The hustler was asleep. The prostitute he'd hired for the night was snoring and had passed out on top of him! Brian slid out from under Justin; his muscles screaming, demanding rest. Brian glared at Justin when the kid rolled onto his side and draped his arm across his chest.

"You little shit," Brian whispered, managing enough energy to turn away from Justin; though he didn't muster enough energy to move his arm off him.

Brian told himself that he would take a small rest and then wake his hustler up for another round. He was sure he could fuck Justin at that moment, but he also knew that his orgasm would be much better if Justin was exuberantly into it as he had been for their first round.

He grabbed the rumpled blanket that had been pushed down against the footboard, floated it up so it covered their bodies and sighed contently as he noticed the time. It was only a little after midnight so he could sleep for a few hours, wake up, and still get his money's worth.

Brian looked out the large glass doors that led onto the penthouse's balcony. Snow had built up considerably on the table and chairs sitting out there. The falling flakes were large and constant. He watched the snowfall cover the skyline in a white blanket until his eyelids started to feel heavy and fell closed.

The combination of Justin's breathing and the tight hold he had on Brian, along with the silent winter night, caused the customer to easily fall asleep beside his hustler.

*****


"Hey!" Justin shoved at Brian's shoulder.

Brian opened his eyes and saw the hustler staring down at him. "What the fuck?" he asked, sitting up and trying to get his bearings.

"It's after ten. I've got to go, so give me my money," Justin demanded, hands on his hips.

Brian looked over at the clock and mentally kicked himself as he stood up and searched for his pants. "You fucking fell asleep on me!" he protested, finding his pants and searching through his pockets.

"Your wallet is on the table in there," Justin said hotly. "And by the way, I don't charge by whatever service I perform for you. You scheduled me for 13 hours and how you chose to spend that time was up to you," he said, following Brian into the main area of the suite.

Brian gave a small tug on his morning wood before grabbing his wallet. He couldn't believe he'd been so stupid to leave the thing out in the open. "Well, you're an honest hustler," he said, counting the money and seeing that everything in his wallet was there.

Justin huffed. "I told you, I'm not a fucking thief and I'd get fired if I stole from you. I'm not an idiot, I need my job."

"Room service," a male voice called from behind the door to the suite while knocking on it.

"Fuck! I forgot to put the cart outside and I forgot that I'd arranged to have breakfast delivered." Brian glanced at the clock on the wall. "Son of a bitch! Get in the bedroom," he whispered.

Justin stomped off and called after him, "This is going to cost you extra."

"Just a minute!" Brian yelled. He'd left his pants in the bedroom but as he started to go get them, his feet came in contact with the terry-cloth robe Justin had left on the floor. Brian's mind flashed to the memory of Justin's hot ass from the night before. All of a sudden, his dick demanded attention, leaking pre-come. "Fuck it," he swore breathlessly, grabbing the robe and putting it around him.

*****


Justin came out of the bedroom the moment he heard Brian close the door behind the waiter. "So, my money?" he persisted.

"Just a minute," Brian growled and opened the breakfast cart to find that once again they'd made him a sample of everything, this time from the breakfast menu. "If you don't charge me, you can help me eat this shit," he snickered.

Justin shrugged noncommittally and replied, "I guess. But I've got to call my boss and check in with him first."

"Whatever," Brian replied, his stomach growling from the sweet smells.

Justin pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed the agency's number.

"Windy City Wild, this is Lucas, can I help you?"

"Luke, this is Justin Taylor. I've finished my shift."

"Any problems with Mr. Kinney?" Lucas asked.

Justin wanted to tell the man that yes, there were many big problems with his customer. However, none of them was included in what the assistant was asking. "No," he replied.

"Rating?" Lucas asked.

Justin laughed and groaned out his honest answer, "Ten."

"Ten?" Lucas asked in surprise, typing away the information on the computer. "You've never rated any of them above a four."

Justin changed the subject. "Any appointments made for me today?"

Lucas laughed. "You do realize that the entire city is shut down right now?"

"What?" Justin walked over to the windows in the living area and pulled back the drapes. "Holy shit!"

"I've been here since last night and I won't be leaving," Luke groaned. "The L is down, the airports are closed and from where I'm looking now, there isn't a car moving on Halstead."

Justin shivered as his fingers touched the cold window and rubbed away the frost. He looked out onto the street and sucked in a deep breath. "It looks like a ghost town! Do you know when they're saying it'll stop?"

"They are expecting it to warm up and melt a lot of the snow by Sunday night. It's reported that they should have enough crews out clearing up the roads that Chicago should be back to normal by Monday. They're calling a city-wide seven o'clock curfew for tonight and tomorrow."

"This can't go on until Monday!" Justin groaned in despair.

Brian overheard Justin's outburst and ran over to the window. "Son of a bitch!"

"Are you with someone?" Lucas asked worriedly. "Making some money on the side, Taylor?"

"No," Justin was quick to lie. "I'm at a friend's house."

"I wasn't aware you had any friends," Lucas replied.

"Whatever," Justin dismissed Lucas' comment. "So I guess no one will be going on any jobs while the city is sleeping."

"Probably not for the next couple of days. It's going to be a bitch for the people out there working to clean this up. They're predicting that we get another six to nine inches tonight. Just not the six to nine inches I prefer," Lucas joked.

Justin laughed but spoke seriously, "This sucks. I can't afford this."

"I'll make sure I call you if anything comes up, but you'd have to hike through three feet of snow to get anywhere."

"It'd be worth the money," Justin told the man.

"By the way, how'd you get to your friend's house? The Lewis is right in downtown."

Justin didn't appreciate the assumption that he wasn't good enough to have friends that lived downtown. "He still lives with his parents," he explained shortly. "I've got to go, Lucas. Call me first, okay?"

"Will do, and I'll leave a note for Scott and Lenny just in case I get to leave here sometime soon."

"Thanks, Lucas, bye." Justin flipped the phone closed and leaned his forehead against the freezing window. "I hate my life."

Brian rubbed his hand up Justin's back and massaged his neck. "You're going to hate your life a lot more when you freeze your brain."

Justin picked his head up and stepped back from the window. "I've got to go," he said quickly, brushing past Brian. "Give me the money you owe me now!"

"Chill the fuck out!" Brian barked. "Where the fuck have you got to go? It's a fucking blizzard out there, you don't have a coat and..."

"Then I'll just use some of the fucking money you gave me and buy one in one of those swanky shops downstairs!" Justin yelled and pushed Brian. "Give me my money."

Brian balked at the blond. "What the fuck is your hurry?"

"You wouldn't understand! You obviously don't give a shit what you spend your money on, so..."

"I spent my money on you," Brian replied, grabbing his wallet from the pocket of the robe. He began to count out a thousand dollars.

Justin wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean. All he cared about was leaving. Even if he had to go back to his apartment and whore himself to all the nasty old men that were always leering at him to get money, he would do it. He couldn't afford to lose any income. "Just give me the cash," he spat as he grabbed it from Brian's hand.

"Wait," Brian yelled, grabbing Justin by the arm. "You said you're not going to have any other jobs, right?"

"No." Justin pulled away from Brian. "I don't have any yet, but I'll find..."

"I'll pay you to stay here," Brian said quickly.

"What?" Justin laughed. "That goes against..."

"I'm not going to call and tell on you," Brian said. "You need the money, right?"

Justin spoke slowly, "Yeah, I need the money."

"And I'm not going to be stuck in a hotel with no one to fuck until this storm lets up," Brian explained.

Justin was sure Brian could probably go down to the pool or one of the restaurants and find any man he wanted to fuck him, without Brian having to pay for it, but he didn't say that to the older man. "How much will you pay me?"

"I don't have any extra cash on me and I can't take enough out of my ATM to cover it either, but I can cash a check on Monday at the bank downstairs. You said that's when the city should be back to normal, right?"

"You swear?" Justin asked. "Because if you don't..."

Brian laughed. "No need to threaten me, asshole. I'm doing you a favor and we both know it."

"I don't have clothes," Justin assessed looking down at himself.

"I'll buy you some but it'll come out of your pay. That is, as long as the shops are open downstairs."

Justin shrugged. "Okay."

"So we have a deal? Six grand and you leave on Monday," he explained the terms.

"Six grand!" Justin grunted. "I make more than that..."

"Don't fucking be greedy. Your ass may be good, but it's not that good, Sunshine."

Justin sighed. "So, does the original offer still stand?" he asked.

"It still stands," Brian replied, opening his robe and showing Justin his hard on. "So instead of us shaking on it..."

"You'd like me to suck on it, Brian?" Justin asked coyly, his mouth watering as he walked to Brian and knelt before him.

"Yes," Brian answered as Justin took him into his mouth and down his throat. "That's the way I love to seal all my deals."

Chapter 3 - Submerged by galeandrandy

Do not be fooled into believing that because a man is rich he is necessarily smart. There is ample proof to the contrary. ~ Julius Rosenwald

 

*****

 

Saturday, February 12th 2005

"Why not?" Brian rubbed his loofah across Justin's shoulders and winced when he saw the puffy bite marks he'd left on his right one.

"If you want to fuck me tonight, you've got to give my ass a rest, Brian. Unless, of course you want..."

"No," Brian interrupted, turning the blond's face toward his. He stared at him for a moment and then kissed him.

Justin turned out of the kiss, bracing his hands on the wall, and hung his head under the water's spray. He gasped in alarm when Brian's fingers slid into his ass crack and brushed over his tender hole.

Brian pressed kisses behind Justin's ear and whispered, "I'll take it slow."

"No," Justin hissed. If Brian were any other customer, he might be afraid that the man would take what he wanted no matter what he said. Oddly enough, he was confident that Brian would never do that to him. That was what actually worried him.

"Does it hurt?" Brian asked, rubbing his thumb over the swollen opening.

Justin backed his head out of the spray and glared over his shoulder at Brian. "I told you it did."

Brian applied a soft pressure to Justin's entrance and wrapped his free arm around him when the blond gasped and tried to pull away. "It hurts, not having something inside you. Do you want my tongue there? Do you want me there?"

Justin relaxed in Brian's arms, widened his stance and nodded his head. Pleasurable electric sparks spread through his body from his core, overriding the pain.

"Which one?" Brian asked, kissing along Justin's neck and twisting the pad of his thumb into Justin's skin, though he didn't penetrate him.

Justin sucked in a deep breath of air and let it out; he gave in to what they desired. "Both," he sighed.

"I'm going to eat your hot little hole," Brian groaned into his hustler's ear, continuing to slide his finger around the tiny hole. "Then I'm going to slide my cock in you so slow you'll feel every inch stretch you and fill your greedy little ass. You'd like that, wouldn't you, Justin?"

Justin bent forward and braced his arms against the wall under the spray. Answering Brian in a sultry tone he never knew was inside him, he admitted, "Yes, I'd love that, Brian."

Brian moved his hands to Justin's ass cheeks, separated them and watched the warm water's spray glide down Justin's pale back, between his cheeks and down over his balls. He ran his hands up to Justin's hips and held onto them as he knelt behind the blond, bringing them back to his ass as he leaned his face forward to taste the water, and Justin.

Heat swarmed around Justin from the temperature of the water, but it couldn't rival the heat that deliciously infused the nerve endings inside him where Brian's tongue moved.

Brian couldn't believe that he had nearly denied himself ever tasting Justin. Had the snow not fallen so quickly, leaving them holed up in the room, he would not have known the exquisite flavor he now relished in, and which exploded over his tongue. It was as though his mouth had a direct connection to his cock. He admitted after first seeing and then fucking Justin, the prostitute had the best ass, outside and in, that he'd ever laid eyes on or fucked. He could hardly believe how much pleasure he was receiving from giving Justin what sounded like was the best rim job of his life. As much as he wanted to put his cock back inside, he was equally content with attending to the blond's hole.

Justin moaned and begged Brian to keep licking him, kissing him in a place that he'd never had anyone put their mouth. He had done this to many men and knew that he was skilled at performing the act. However, in all the sex acts he participated in, rimming was the one that he'd never been on the receiving end of until now. He realized exactly why men would request it and beg for it, though as good as he was at the act, he was sure Brian Kinney was scores better.

Justin, barely able to stand because of his quivering knees, and loss of reality, reached back and grasped for Brian's head. "Please, please, Brian!" he gasped. "Fuck me, I'm ready. Fuck me!"

Brian kissed Justin's hole then reluctantly stood, turned off the water and grabbed Justin's arm to lead him into the bedroom. Possessed by the blond's sexual glances, whimpers and deep blue eyes, he threw them both, still sopping wet, onto the bed.

*****



Justin bit the pillow below him as the crown of Brian's cock entered him. He screamed from pleasure and anticipation as the man slowly fed his hole full of hot, thick cock. He shivered but relaxed as Brian covered his body completely and held his hands as he adjusted to every inch of his dick inside his body.

Brian licked Justin's cheek, kept his face close to Justin's and demanded, "Open your eyes."

Justin muffled something in protest, scared of what was happening to him, but he listened to Brian and met the man's eyes.

"Does it hurt?" Brian asked, shifting his pelvis in a circle, further testing his cock's bounds.

Justin squeezed his eyes shut, heart hammering, his lungs barely able to catch breath as he gasped, "Yes."

"I'll go slowly, I promised you I would," Brian replied, barely extracting his dick from inside Justin before pushing it back in.

Justin's eyelashes fluttered and he wanted to look away. He wanted to tell Brian that his ass wasn't where he felt pain, but he didn't.

Brian placed his face beside Justin's and turned the blond's head so their lips met in a crushing kiss.

*****



Brian paid for Justin's clothing and the Art Forum magazine the blond had hesitantly asked him to buy to give him something to do when they weren't fucking. Justin had told Brian that he was sure it was silly for him to spend money on paper, when he needed it for more important things, but Brian didn't really care about what Justin had said. To him, it was only a measly twelve dollars, but Justin told him that he could eat for a week on what that cost him.

He hoped that some of the customers bought Justin food, because Brian couldn't imagine eating on only twelve bucks a week, especially in the city of Chicago. Justin had a toned body, in all the right places, so he figured that most day jobs probably included what the agency advertised. They took Justin on dates, bought him food and probably used him as a fake trophy boyfriend at get-togethers and...

Brian winced and shook the thoughts from his mind as he stepped into the elevator, his arms full of shopping bags. He didn't want to think of what other customers did with the prostitute in bed. That irked him. Both the flash of nasty thoughts and realizing that he actually cared enough not to want to know the degradation Justin went through on a daily basis.

Frustrated with himself, Brian kicked on the door to the suite, not caring enough to put the bags down and knock. "Justin," he called. "Hurry up!"

Justin flung the door open and glared at Brian as he stepped aside to give the man room to enter. "You know, you really shouldn't be screaming out in the hallway, it's rude."

Brian shoved the bags into Justin's arms and brushed past him. "Oh, yes. I'll definitely take etiquette lessons from a rent boy."

Justin slammed the door closed with his foot and pushed Brian's comment from his mind. "What is all this shit?" he asked, walking toward the couch and depositing it on the cushion next to where Brian now sat.

"Clothes," Brian spoke, pulling a black bag from the pile.

"Is that for me?" Justin asked.

"No," Brian smirked. "This one is mine. The rest are yours."

"What?" Justin stepped backward and nearly lost his balance when the back of his knees hit the coffee table. Justin gave Brian a look that encompassed how crazy he thought the man was and replied, "This can't be all mine. I can't..."

Brian threw one of the bags at Justin's face. "Shut up and go try this on. You really don't want to know what I had to go through to get all of that. They've got it set up like a mini mall down there and I hate mini malls!"

Justin pulled out two boxes from the bag and opened the largest one. "You fucking bought me Diesel jeans! Brian, I can't afford these!"

"So you're probably not going to like the three pairs in here," Brian snickered, waving the remaining five Armani Exchange bags at Justin. "Or the t-shirts," he commented dryly. He smiled nervously at Justin. "Probably not the sweaters either or the underwear..."

"Oh, God!" Justin yelled, sitting down on the coffee table.

"Or the shoes, cause you really needed some new ones," Brian laughed.

"You're insane. You're fucking insane! Do you see what I'm wearing?" Justin asked, pointing to his sweater and jeans. "This is my nice outfit."

"Yes," Brian told him. "I noticed."

Justin huffed and gave Brian an evil sneer. "You have to take it all back, Brian. I thought you'd buy me a few t-shirts and jeans from that Walgreens down there. I can't..."

"Walgreens?" Brian asked, horrified. "They sell clothing at a fucking drugstore?"

"Of course they do," Justin spoke, exasperated. "They're like a fucking Wal-Mart now!"

Brian stood up, his bag falling to the floor. "Wal-Mart." He hissed the word as though it was the filthiest word he'd ever spoken. "I wouldn't spend a dime there!"

Justin stood and explained dramatically, "It isn't your money you're spending, remember? It's mine! You expect me to pay you back for all this shit. You probably spent close to a thousand dollars!"

"A little over that, actually," Brian admitted, sitting back down, finally understanding why the blond was acting like an idiot.

Justin grabbed the unopened Diesel box, pulled out the blackish gray, v-neck knit sweater and shook it at Brian. "Don't you think I'd buy these things if I could, Brian? Do you really think I'd be a fucking hooker if I could afford to splurge on shit like this? I was worried about spending extra cash on the clothes you were going to buy because I already have clothes at home. That's when I thought it'd cost around thirty dollars!"

Brian felt pangs of guilt prick his skin and conscience. He unbelievably felt bad for not realizing Justin's issues prior to buying the clothing. He had thought about Justin's reluctance to spend twelve dollars on a magazine, yet for some fucked up reason, it hadn't occurred to him that the reason for his hesitancy to spend that money wasn't that a magazine was a frivolous item, but that he needed the money, desperately. He wondered why the blond needed it, why he'd become a whore, but that was a personal question he wouldn't ever ask. He didn't care to hear the cliché answer he was sure that would come from Justin's mouth.

"You have to take this shit back, Brian," Justin demanded.

"Consider it all a gift," Brian said quickly. There was no way he would return it.

"What?" Justin gasped. He had gotten things from tricks before, but...

"It's a gift," Brian said again. "Just promise not to return any of it or sell it."

"Are you crazy?" Justin asked. It was almost a rhetorical question because he was sure at this point, Brian had to be nuts to bestow such an expensive purchase upon him.

"No," Brian replied and grabbed his black bag. He pulled a pair of black AX swim trunks from inside it and walked toward the bedroom. "I want to go swimming."

Justin rolled his eyes. "Brian, I can't take this stuff from you. I can't."

Brian turned on his heel and looked at the blond. "Listen, that trouble I said I went through downstairs wasn't just because the place reminds me of a mini-mall, okay? Someone saw you come up to my room last night and one of the clerks and a man with guest services asked me about you."

Justin paled. "What?"

"I own an ad agency and the only reason I was able to get ahead of the competition and get an appointment with the CEO of this hotel before his meeting with the company who currently manages his advertising, is because I know that he's a sucker for a love story."

Justin breathed a sigh of relief, happy that the reason they hadn't asked about him was because someone had recognized him from the few times he'd been at the hotel to meet other customers. "So, what is this love story?" he queried.

"He wanted to meet with me on the 21st and I told him that I'd be on vacation with my fiancé then. I explained that my fiancé lived here in Chicago and that I was flying out to see him last night, after not seeing him for a month, which had been way too long of a time," Brian snickered at the lie. "So I asked him if he could meet with me yesterday, before I spent the weekend with my oh-so-beloved fiancé. Being the romantic fool he is, he agreed to a meeting."

"So what does this have to do with me?" Justin asked, confused.

"When I arrived, I was informed that he had a family emergency and wouldn't be back until Monday, though who knows now with the weather. Anyway, he wanted me to stay here, thinking I'd be here for my fiancé. He wanted me to invite my fiancé to the hotel and use the amenities, to see what this hotel had to offer. He seems to think it'll give me a better grip on things for his campaign. The only problem is, he told the staff all of this. When I was buying your clothes, the clerk and guest service guy assumed they were for you," Brian explained.

"Me...why?" Justin asked slowly.

Brian shook his head and rolled his eyes. He mumbled, "You, my fiancé."

"What?" Justin asked. "What did you say?"

"I had no other way to explain who you are and I definitely don't need them thinking I'm cheating on my fiancé. I told them that you were..."

"I can't be your fiancé!" Justin interrupted. "This is ridiculous."

"Yeah, well that's the hole we're in, until Monday. So at least now you don't have to hide in here anymore," Brian teased. "You're a free man."

Justin wished that were true. He remembered why it was they even got onto this conversation. "What does this have to do with the stuff you bought?"

"Justin," Brian spoke slowly. "I'm a millionaire; do you really think that my fiancé wouldn't have nice clothing?"

"But I'm not..."

"You are until Monday."

"This is like something out of Pretty Woman; you realize that, don't you?" Justin asked.

"Hardly," Brian replied. "I don't believe in love. So I won't be falling for you and you won't be falling for me."

"True," Justin commented, accepting their situation. He started looking through another shopping bag. "In real life, and this is saying that love does exist, which I'm pretty fucking sure it doesn't," he said, looking up at Brian, "people don't fall in love in just a couple of days."

Brian smiled, happy that someone else finally shared his jaded, yet realistic views on life. "So, if you don't mind playing the part of my fiancé, grab your trunks out of that bag." He pointed at the one by Justin's feet. "Come for a swim with me, and after, I've arranged for us to have a ‘couples' massage," he added, laughing at the ridiculousness of it. "How does that sound?"

"Sure," the blond answered. Justin didn't enjoy the prospect of acting like Brian's fiancé but it was a part he'd played before with a few men who wanted to annoy their ex-boyfriends. The prospect of swimming and then a massage sounded delightful, especially with the workout his body was getting from his customer. He pulled the red AX shorts out, his were the same pattern as Brian's but the legs of his shorts were not as long. "Brian, I'll look like a..." he closed his mouth before the word "slut" could pass his lips. He was sure that was a tame word for describing what he actually was.

Brian pulled Justin over to him and planted a long slow kiss on his lips that left them both a little stunned. "You'll look hot, that's how you'll look. If I had an ass that could make those look good, I would've gotten the same style, Justin." Brian wasn't sure why he felt the need to make Justin feel better about wearing the item, but he felt better about the purchase when Justin smiled and kissed him again.

*****



Brian grabbed Justin into his arms and threw him under the water. He laughed triumphantly, knowing he'd surprised Justin.

Justin popped up, spitting out water but also laughing. "You really shouldn't have done that," he warned playfully.

Brian swam away from Justin and asked coyly, "Why not? You actually think you can lift me up and dunk me?"

Justin swam as quickly as he could toward the brunet and jumped onto his back when he reached him. "Hold your breath," he laughed. "You're going down."

Brian spun around, trying to shake Justin off. "Get off me, spider monkey, or we're both going down."

"Just try it," Justin warned, climbing over Brian and pushing on his shoulders.

Brian struggled but the weight of the blond pushed him under. He opened his eyes under the water and grabbed Justin's leg, pulling him under too. They both came up for air and continued to wrestle around; laughing harder than either man had recollection of laughing before.

Brian backed Justin up against the side of the pool and smiled at the younger man. He leaned down and looked directly in Justin's blue eyes, noticing for the first time how bright they could be. They were beautiful. Justin pulled Brian close to him and smiled back at him, opening his mouth and breathing heavy against him. Brian kissed him then.

Justin wrapped his legs around Brian's waist, knotted his hands in his wet hair and thrust himself against the other man. When his moan echoed around the poolroom, he pulled away and laughed nervously as he looked around at the other swimmers. "Brian, everyone's staring at us," he whispered, turning his head into Brian's neck.

Brian shrugged and commented, "That's ‘cause we're hot."

"You have the biggest ego of anyone I've ever met," Justin laughed, looking up at the man.

"That's not the only thing that's big," Brian whispered conspiratorially, grinding his dick against Justin's crotch.

Justin snickered. "Don't even think about it."

"Come on," Brian said, swimming away from Justin. "Let's go get our massage."

"Wait!" Justin caught up with Brian and whispered to him, "I don't want everyone seeing my boner."

"It'll give them something to fantasize about," Brian replied, reaching the ladder. He ushered Justin, "Go on, get out."

"Why do I have to go first?" Justin asked.

"So I can watch your ass as you get out of the pool," Brian replied as though Justin shouldn't have had to ask.

Justin reluctantly gave Brian what he asked for and yelped when Brian slapped his ass as he climbed out.

Brian laughed. "I had to do that for dunking me."

*****



"We've been in the water a lot today," Justin said. "I'm going to turn into a prune."

Brian soaped Justin's chest and replied, "You're the one that wanted to take a bath. I don't even have a bathtub in my loft."

"Well, you're missing out. Tubs are the best, especially when your ass is sore."

"I wouldn't know," Brian commented, grasping Justin's cock.

"I just wish we could've used some of those awesome oils in here," the blond said, looking toward the bath tray with the array of salts, oils, scrubs and soaps.

"Unless you're up to fucking in the bed, we can't use them. They'll dissolve a condom in a second flat."

Justin got on his knees, his ass still under the water. "Open me up," he requested.

Brian licked his lips, put one soapy finger on the wrinkled hole and replied huskily, "Gladly."

 

Chapter 4 - Cascade by galeandrandy

It is not easy for men to rise whose qualities are thwarted by poverty.



*****

Sunday, February 13, 2005

"It looks like they're clearing up the roads," Brian commented, looking outside the window onto the still desolate-looking city.

Justin looked over at Brian and shrugged. "The snow is still falling though. I'm not going to get my hopes up."

Brian turned and asked, "Are you that anxious to leave?"

Justin closed his magazine, placed it on the coffee table and took a long drink of his wine in an attempt to ignore Brian's question.

Brian sat down beside Justin, ran his hand up the blond's thigh and groped him through his jeans. "I'm bored," he told his hustler, squeezing the blond's cock.

Justin groaned and squirmed away from Brian. "Brian, you're going to owe me a lot more than you already do if you fuck me again before tonight."

"Why's that?" Brian asked in an innocent voice.

"I'll be out of commission for at least a week trying to get my ass back to normal," Justin warned, pushing Brian's hand away from his crotch.

"I thought you didn't charge by the service," Brian sing-songed. "Come on, don't you want me to fuck you?"

Justin stood up, glass of wine in hand, guzzled the last bit and walked over to the liquor cart. "Do you want a glass?"

Brian glared at the blond. "Are you deaf today?"

Justin snickered, "Your moaning was pretty loud, but no, I can hear perfectly fine, Brian." He poured himself another glass and even though Brian didn't answer, he filled a glass for Brian too.

"Then answer me," Brian spoke in frustration.

"Answer what?" Justin returned, walking back to Brian and handing the man the drink.

"You've got an attitude that I don't particularly enjoy," the brunet observed. "I asked if you wanted me to fuck you."

Justin smiled coyly. "So, were you not listening when I said that my ass is sore?"

"You do realize that I'm paying you to fuck me and not sit around here drinking and reading."

"Yes," Justin spat. "I realize that. I couldn't forget the fucking giant elephant in the room. But I'm serious, if you want to fuck then you're going to have to be patient and let my ass heal from the three poundings you've given me this morning or you'll have to let me..."

Brian's cell phone rang, effectively cutting off Justin's words and saving Brian from entertaining the thoughts they provoked. He hopped up from the couch and picked up the phone from the desk. "Hello?"

"Dada!"

Brian smiled and turned his back on the prostitute. "Gus," he whispered. "How are you, Sonny-boy?"

"I can't heaw you!" the little boy yelled. "Mommy, I can't heaw him."

Brian laughed. "I'm here, kiddo," he said, speaking in a normal tone. "Can you hear me now?" He could make out Lindsay asking Gus if he hit the end button on the phone. "I'm here, Gus!" Brian practically shouted in laughter.

"I can heaw him, Mommy!" Gus yelled before turning his attention to his father. "Hi, Dada! I miss you."

Brian sat down in the chair at the desk, feeling his heart constrict at his son's words. "I miss you too," he replied. "Did Mommy tell you I called last night?"

"Yup, but I was at Gwandma Deb's," the boy said excitedly. "We played in the snow today."

"You did? I bet you had fun," the man commented, imagining his child playing.

"I made a snowman and Gwandma let me use an old scawf to put wound his neck so he don't get cold in the backyawd. Oh, oh, oh, and I used a cawwot too for his nose, but I didn't give him no eyes though. You know why, Dada?" Gus asked, talking a mile a minute.

Brian had no clue what the answer was and why was Gus worried about the snowman getting cold? The snow was cold but he had yet to master child logic. "Why?" he asked slowly, almost afraid of the answer.

"Cause it's too bwight with the sun shinin' on white snow."

"You could've given him sunglasses," Brian suggested.

"Sunglasses!" Gus yelled. "You awe smawt, Dada! When I go over again I'm going to put some on him. But then I have to give him eyes."

"Ask your mother to give you some coal or buttons and you can use them."

"Okay! I love you, Dada."

"I love you too, Gus," Brian told his son. It got easier to say it every time he spoke to him.

"I'll call you afta I give the snowman eyes. But Mommy said we go back to Gwandma Deb's Monday."

"That's tomorrow," Brian told him.

"Yup, and I get to spend the day and night there."

"Okay, Sonny-boy. I'll talk to you then. Have fun."

"I aways do," Gus, said matter of fact. "Bye!"

"Bye..." Brian barely had the word out of his mouth when he heard his son pressing buttons to hang up.

Justin didn't wait for Brian to face him; he was too curious to find out if what he surmised from the one side of the conversation was true. "Do you have a son?" he asked the moment he saw Brian flip the phone closed.

Brian turned and tried not to smile and show the emotions he still felt in reaction to his conversation. "Yes," he answered shortly.

Justin smiled at the thought, but then he frowned. "Wait, you aren't..."

"I'm not straight," Brian replied. "I gave sperm to a lesbian friend of mine," he explained, rubbing the sudden tension he felt in his neck.

"How old is he?" Justin asked.

"Four and a half," Brian replied, feeling extremely uncomfortable talking about his son with a hustler.

Justin noticed Brian's discomfort and changed the subject, though he was still curious. "So, how about we get the hotel to give us another massage?"

Brian sighed, that was just what he needed, well, besides to fuck the blond, but apparently, that wasn't going to happen for a while. "All right, I'll call and see when they can get us in."

*****


"Ahhh...." Justin sighed in satisfaction when the masseur's hands worked on his glutes.

Brian shifted a little on the table, hearing Justin's constant sighs and moans made it hard for him to relax. Yesterday's massage hadn't been as torturous because he'd fucked the hustler right before the appointment. The fuck had been quick and intense and released much of the tension that developed between them when they argued about the clothing.

Today, Brian wanted to fuck Justin before they left to get the massage. His dick strained and he had to hold himself back from jumping on top of the blond and fucking the shit out of him when Justin climbed onto the table. The hustler's pale skin showed a few bruises, scratches, and impressions of his fingerprints on Justin's hip and marks from where his nails scratched down Justin's back. All of these marks sparked memories for Brian of their fucks and made it very difficult for him to lie face down on the table.

"Okay, time's up," Justin's masseur said.

Brian sighed in relief when his masseur stepped away from him and spoke, "We'll let you two get dressed."

"Thank you," Justin said, feeling happy and relaxed.

"Thanks," Brian mumbled, not making a move to get up until he heard the men leave.

"That was wonderful," Justin said, swinging his feet to the side and hopping to the floor.

Brian lifted his head and turned over; he glared at Justin while displaying his dick to the blond, stroking it as he stood. "You are going to walk over here right now and suck me off."

Justin laughed, amused at Brian's discomfort, but his mouth watered as he saw a drop of pre-come drizzle from the slit in the crown. "They'll be wondering what's taking us so long," Justin said. "It wouldn't be very good for your business if someone walked in here and saw you coming in your fiancé's mouth," he teased, but walked toward Brian to perform the task anyway.

Brian grabbed Justin and pressed on his shoulders. "It won't take long if I fuck your face. Kneel." He gritted out the next word, "Please."

Justin batted his eyelashes playfully. "Yes, Mr. Kinney," he replied and lowered to his knees on the floor. He looked up at Brian, his mouth millimeters away from the large dick. "I'm hungry," he said. "So after this appetizer I expect you to order us some food."

"Fine," Brian replied, shivering as Justin's hot breath met his cock. "Come get your snack, Justin."

"Mmm," Justin moaned around Brian's cock, holding the man's eyes as he deep throated him.

"Does it taste good?" Brian asked, his eyelashes fluttering from the intense sensations Justin's hot throat gave him.

"Mmmhmm," Justin answered.

Brian held Justin's head, sifting his fingers through the blond hair and asked him in a husky voice, "You ready for my cock to fuck your throat?"

"Mmmm," Justin replied, mouth full with the thickest cock he'd ever taken. He relaxed and anticipated the ride.

*****



Justin picked up his salad fork and took a bite of his food.

"Is it good?" Brian asked, he'd opted for the fresh vegetable soup while Justin had Horiatiki Salata.

Justin nodded and continued to chew on his bite of olive, feta and cucumber. Once he swallowed, he answered, "It's delicious. The feta cheese combined with the cucumber and olive has a nice taste." He grabbed Brian's salad fork, dipped him a bite of all the vegetables and held it out for the man. "Try it," he offered.

Brian took his fork and placed it in his mouth, instantly seeing that Justin was right. He almost wished he'd opted for the Greek salad. "That is good," he said, dabbing his lips with a napkin and then placing it beside his bowl.

"You should really put that on your lap," Justin suggested. "We're in a five star restaurant, Brian."

Brian almost laughed at the prostitute's audacity, but stopped himself and placed the napkin where directed. Hoping that his soup had cooled down, he grabbed one of the spoons.

"Not that one," Justin said, stopping Brian. He pointed to the ladle looking spoon that the waiter had brought out with Brian's bowl of soup. "This one. The one you were about to use is for dessert, in case you have a mousse or something creamy," he explained.

Brian allowed the correction and took a bite of his soup, keeping his eyes on Justin. From the moment that the younger man got dressed in his black sweater and perfectly fitting jeans, he'd changed. Justin surprised Brian with his confidence, and dare Brian think it, the grace with which he carried himself. At first, the thought of going to the hotel's premier restaurant with a hooker unnerved him, but he wanted to be able to tell Mr. Lewis that he'd sampled more than just the food from the kitchen and figured that if he brought Justin, he wouldn't have to eat by himself. He had not expected the classy young man to emerge from within the rent boy.

"Do you keep your son with you?" Justin asked, using the fact that they were in public as an excuse to grill Brian without making the older man angry. He took another bite of his food and softly moaned at the tastes.

"On the weekends sometimes, but that just started," Brian answered before taking a bite of his soup. "Mmm..." he declared, loving the flavor. "You need to try this."

Justin shook his head. "You don't have an extra spoon."

"I've been sharing germs with you for days," Brian said, gathering a bite full on the silver. "You can quell your waspy manners for a simple taste."

Justin smiled and opened his mouth and leaned over the table. He looked into Brian's eyes and when he took the spoon into his mouth, he made sure to take the bite in the most erotic way he could manage.

Brian cleared his throat and shifted in his seat as Justin's tongue poked out and glided along the spoon. He pulled the utensil away from the man and whispered, "You're not being a good boy. I thought you had good manners, but I guess I was wrong."

Justin laughed quietly and returned to his stoic posture. "I do have good manners, sir. It's just that I sometimes let my desires override etiquette," he teased.

"How is it that you know proper silverware settings, and when you talked to our waiter, you ordered your meal in Greek?"

Justin grinned. "I'm full of surprises, aren't I?"

Brian nodded and took another bite of his food. "You definitely are. Seriously though, did one of your Greek customers teach you this stuff?"

"No," Justin said, grinning. "My mother taught me etiquette and I took two years of Greek in college."

"That's a hard language to learn," Brian commented with surprise.

"It was," Justin admitted. "I only wish I could've continued taking it, but the hardest language to learn was actually Italian. I learned that during high school and my teacher wasn't very good at teaching it. I swear that I spoke better Italian than he did by my senior year."

Brian was pretty sure that if Justin spoke in Italian it'd sound fucking hot coming from his pink lips, which were still puffy from the face fucking Brian gave him. However, Brian didn't want to sound too interested in the blond so he continued eating.

"What about you, do you speak any foreign languages?" Justin asked.

Brian groaned as he wiped his mouth with his napkin. Not wanting to be rude to a man that had just given him a fantastic blowjob, he continued the conversation and answered, "Five of them, actually."

"That's one more than me," Justin commented. "Which ones do you speak?"

Brian refrained from acting like an asshole by asking Justin to say something in each language so he could believe him. "I speak German, Gaelic, Russian, Spanish and French."

"I speak French too," Justin, said smiling. "In high school I wanted to take all the languages that the great artists spoke, but they only offered French, Italian and Spanish."

"I wasn't a great artist, so I had to take them for high school credits and then in college too. I figured that it'd work well for advertising, you know, if I ever went ‘global'," Brian spoke in a silly tone.

"So you're a big success now and on your way there," Justin praised. "That's awesome that you're living your dream."

Brian hesitated for a split-second but the question tumbled out of his mouth, "What was your dream, Justin?"

The waiter arrived with their main course, saving Justin from answering and reliving the past, he sighed in relief. His mouth watered over his plate of Minced Meat Rissoles with cumin. "Thank you," he said politely.

"Should I take your soup and salad dishes?" the waiter asked, placing Brian's course in front of him.

"Yes, thank you," Justin replied and looked at Brian who nodded at the waiter.

"Enjoy your meal," the waiter said in parting.

The men ate most of their food in relative silence until Justin stopped to refill his glass of wine as a server neared their table and offered to pour it. "Thank you." Justin took a hefty drink and then smiled at Brian, who'd been watching him. "What?"

Brian wasn't sure why he was staring at the blond. "Do you want some of my Atzem Pilaf?" he deadpanned.

"I don't really like lamb," Justin said, refusing the bite. "But you can have a bite of mine if you want."

"No, thanks," Brian told his companion. "I'm actually almost full."

Justin put his fork down on his nearly empty plate and frowned. "No dessert?" he asked.

Brian laughed at Justin's pitiful expression. "You can order a dozen desserts. I don't care as long as I get my dessert from you up in the room."

Justin smiled and eyed their server as he walked by.

"All finished?" the server asked.

"Yes," Brian and Justin answered in unison.

"I'll take your plates then. Will you be having dessert tonight?"

"I will," Justin said. He thought of both how good their fuck would be and the dessert he had his heart set on when he first looked at the menu.

"What would you like, sir?"

"Pitakia me anthotiro, meli kai feta," Justin replied.

"Good choice, I'll be right out with that."

"What was it you ordered?" Brian asked when the server walked away.

"Honey and cheese rolls," Justin answered.

"That doesn't exactly sound like a dessert," Brian remarked.

"It is," Justin assured the man. "They're delicious; you'll have to try one."

"I've already had too many carbs. I'm going to have to use the gym here tomorrow."

"Your loss," Justin said. "It's going to be so good."

"Here it comes," Brian said, gesturing to the server walking toward their secluded table.

"Oh, thank you," Justin said, his eyes getting huge as he looked at the treat. "That was so fast."

"You're welcome," the waiter replied. "Chef Volentz wanted me to remind you that the meal is on the house."

"Thank you," Brian said graciously as the man walked away. "They're really trying to impress us," he commented.

Justin's mouth watered and he could only wait a moment before he discarded his manners and grabbed a forkful of the dessert. "Mmm...yummy in my tummy good," Justin said.

Brian laughed at the blond. "You sound like my son."

Justin shrugged. "I used to eat this when I was a kid."

"It's a Greek dessert though, right?"

"Yup, the best! But this isn't as good as my Mom made."

"Your mother is Greek?" Brian asked.

"No," Justin laughed. "My mother is American, but she liked to cook all kinds of food." He grabbed a huge bite and put it in his mouth. Justin hoped that Brian would not ask him anything else that had to do with his past. It had been a good day and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Does your mother know what you do to make money?" Brian asked boldly.

Justin's face fell and he had to make an effort to swallow the food in his mouth. He took a swig of his wine, leaned over the table and whispered, "You don't have any right to ask me anything about my past."

"I was just making conversation," Brian defended in a bothered tone.

Justin sat back in his seat and put his napkin on table. "I'm ready to leave," he said, his voice shaking with anger.

Brian took his wallet out and placed his last fifty-dollar bill on the table. "Fine," he said rising from his seat. "Let's go back to the room."

Chapter 5 - Torrent by galeandrandy

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. ~ Jonathan Swift

 

*****


Sunday, February 13, 2005

The moment that Brian closed the door, Justin stormed toward him. "I know I'm just a fucking rent boy to you, Brian, but you don't have to be cruel to me!"

Brian brushed past Justin and removed his shirt. "So, are you ready to fuck now?" he asked, acting as though Justin had not spoken.

"Why?" Justin demanded. "I am human, Brian. Just because I give up my fucking shell to perverts like you doesn't mean that I don't have a fucking heart."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Brian replied, uncomfortable with Justin's outburst. He continued to take off his clothing, throwing it around the room.

"Yes, you do, asshole! You knew that I was trying to avoid talking about my past, Brian. I was happy. I was actually fucking enjoying myself, feeling like a normal fucking person. I felt that way with you, of all people. But you had to ruin it with that asinine question!"

"The question wasn't asinine if it's upset you so much," Brian snickered.

Justin turned away from Brian, who was now completely naked. He hated that even when he was pissed at the man, he still turned him on. "You don't get it. You just don't get it! I'm just your paid whore," he turned to Brian. "Right?"

"Right," Brian answered, the word burning his tongue as soon as he spoke it.

"Then you don't need to know a fucking thing about me," Justin reasoned. He tore off his sweater and shucked his jeans and underwear down his legs. "Here I am then, Brian. You don't need to know anything except that I give a great blowjob and I have a tight ass." He stormed into the bedroom, crawled on the bed, placed his face down and prayed that the pillows would absorb any of the tears that escaped his eyes.

Brian wasn't sure what the fuck had just happened. A sensation crawled up his spine that he couldn't place, bestowing upon him a cluttering range of emotions. He looked into the bedroom and saw Justin on his hands and knees; face in the pillows just like the first time the blond was in his bed.

Justin shivered as he heard Brian walk into the room. He tried to keep as still as possible, not wanting to participate in the fuck he knew would was about to happen. Justin berated himself when he jerked as Brian touched his elbow. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He knew that he shouldn't have given a fuck what any man did to him or said to him! They were no one to him. He was no one to them. He loathed himself for allowing a lapse from the reality of the situation, even more so because he'd actually showed Brian his pain.

Justin's shaking was barely visible, but Brian felt it. The vibrations transferred into his fingertips, up his arm and over his chest, over the heart he rarely acknowledged that beat within him. "No one is just a body, not even me," Brian divulged, each word aching with apologies. "I shouldn't have done that to you." His voice dropped to a whisper as he ran his hand up Justin's shoulder and into his hair. "I'm an asshole."

Justin blocked out Brian's words while he hummed silently to himself, but he couldn't ignore Brian's touch. It was different from before, it was deeper, and when he began to massage his scalp, Justin keened and pushed his head into the caress. He began to lose his grip on his defenses.

Brian crawled so his body was lying beside Justin's and continued to move his hand on the younger man's head. A relieved smile graced his face as he realized he was receiving happy moans from the blond. He whispered in the blond's ear, "I don't know much about you, but I'm pretty sure you're damn smart. I just don't get why you'd choose to do this to make a living. I don't fucking care about most people, Justin, but my best friend took in a teenager whose mother forced him into hustling at twelve years old. Being around him and seeing the young man that he really is makes me wonder if you have a similar story."

Brian's words flooded into Justin's ears as non-stop tidal waves of emotions that demanded reaction. He rolled to his side and forced himself to look up at Brian who looked back at him with an expression he had yet to give him, one that left Justin feeling very uneasy. "So... you're saying you do...give a shit about me?"

Brian pressed his lips together and thought about his next words carefully before speaking. He didn't want to be an asshole, but he felt uncomfortable with the nagging answer he'd almost immediately given Justin. "If you would've only been here one night, I may not have ever wondered what your story was, or cared. I would've grouped you in with the scores of hustlers that are out on the street because somehow they chose that. You were right, I don't deserve to know a fucking thing about a hustler's past, but I want to know about yours, Justin."

Justin fought with the fortress he'd built from years of pain. He didn't want to compromise his closely guarded secret feelings, only to become encompassed by more betrayal from the vicious truth of the past he ran away from on a daily basis. There was a huge possibility that Brian would not believe him and inflict more pain into his heart once he opened himself up for it, and Justin wasn't sure he wanted to allow for that. "I'm not a liar," Justin said.

"I didn't say you were," Brian replied. He saw Justin shiver and drew the blanket up around the both of them. Propping himself up on his elbow, he curled his fingers in Justin's hair and assured him, "I'll believe you. You've not shown me any reason to distrust you."

Justin let out a relieved, shaky breath, took a deep breath in and pushed it out again. "I don't think I can trust you."

Brian didn't say anything back and his facial expression didn't change. He just moved away from the blond, stood up and walked into the other room.

Justin closed his eyes, and reprimanded himself for being such an idiot. He wanted to know what it was like to trust someone. He guessed that Brian was probably just as afraid of opening himself up but he had given Justin an opportunity the blond doubted he gave many people at all. Justin knew that he had to take the risk, just this once. Come tomorrow, he wouldn't see Brian ever again. He'd go back to his life and Brian would go back to his own, but the question was, did Justin want Brian to go back home believing that he was just another prostitute? Either way, Justin struggled with why he cared to tell the man otherwise. However, his debating did nothing to stop him from bolting from the bed and creeping into the living area.

Even though Justin's footsteps were silent, Brian could sense it when the other man stood behind the couch. He didn't turn and look at him; he was too busy trying to get back to the plane where he cared nothing at all for Justin. That place served him well over the years of dealing with people, the inner sanctuary he knew and loved, but hearing Justin's intake of breath made him almost lose his way there.

"The first assignment I had for my Art History class at The Institute was to recreate one of Monet's paintings," Justin began speaking. "I chose La Promenade because it was one of my mother's favorites and I wanted to paint it for her as a birthday present. I had painted many of the great artists' work in my Art History class in high school. I studied so many of their techniques in my own time so I was thrilled when my professor picked me out for his special project. He asked me to create a series of twenty-four paintings that the school would hang in the halls of the new art wing they were in the process of building." Justin ran his hand along the back of the couch as he walked around it and sat beside Brian.

Brian turned toward Justin, wondering what this story had to do with him becoming a hustler. "That's a pretty big project to give a freshman," he commented.

"It was, but he used the paintings as grades for his class too, so I didn't get overwhelmed. I thought it was awesome. He even allowed me to use his studio space off campus and wrote me checks for all the supplies I needed. I was so excited at the prospect of having my paintings in the school so I stayed through the summer to complete them faster."

"They let you stay in the dorms for that?" Brian asked.

"No, Professor Alby's studio had a bedroom and bathroom in it, so I stayed there. He wrote me checks so that I could buy food during the summer and by the end of it, I'd completed fifteen of the twenty-four paintings. He paid for me to take some additional technique classes that coming fall, along with my other classes, and by the time the Spring semester came, I had three paintings to go. I didn't have much of a social life, but I didn't care. Painting was everything to me and Reed, um... Professor Alby, let me use the supplies for the school's paintings. I got to use much better paints, canvases and tools than I'd ever dreamed of using."

"So you weren't a starving artist then?"

"No," Justin laughed dryly. "I had everything I needed. I went home for spring break and when I came back, the first place I went was to the studio. They were waiting for me there."

"Who?" Brian asked, feeling dread coil up his spine as he saw tears pool in Justin's eyes.

"The police," Justin answered, rubbing the tears away. "It all happened so fast after that."

"Were you and that professor fucking around or something?"

"No," Justin told Brian laughing sarcastically. "But that's what I thought they were there for at first."

"What the fuck did they want?"

"Alby was ripping people off, auctioning off my paintings to the highest bidder."

"Everyone knows that paintings by the masters are too hard to acquire..."

"Of course," Justin interrupted. "But he had these people snowed into believing that they were apprentice paintings."

"What the fuck is that?" Brian asked, he'd never heard of such a thing.

"Most of the artists I copied had apprentices, all of them suspected to have recreated many of their master's works. Sure, they wouldn't go for top dollar, nowhere near that, actually, but that made them easier for Alby to sell. Apparently, he sweet-talked a bunch of high profile Chicago millionaires into buying them. One of the men he tried to con was a relative of Louis Markoya, who served as an apprentice to Salvador Dali in the sixties. He knew that his relative had never recreated any of Dali's work, but did not let on that he knew this to Reed. He bought the paintings and then informed the authorities."

"Stupid move for an Art History professor," Brian grumbled, still not coming to the full impact of the con.

"If he would've told me what he was doing, I would've told him about that," Justin said. "But of course I knew nothing of this. I never would have disgraced those artists or my talent by doing something so fucking stupid, but I was the artist. I was the paid artist who committed forgery and profited from it."

Brian's hazel eyes widened, then quickly narrowed in anger. "But you were just a kid, conned by that asshole!"

"Yes," Justin admitted. "I was. But no one believed me."

"How could they not believe you? You didn't get any of this money that Alby made from them, did you?"

"Of course not," Justin said adamantly. "But that didn't matter because Alby told them he paid for me to work on them. He said I knew what I was doing and that I was promised half of the earnings once I graduated from The Art Institute."

"How could they believe that?"

"I don't know," Justin whispered in defeat. "But they did, mostly."

"What do you mean, mostly?"

"My father did what he could to afford a decent lawyer, but even he didn't think that with the mountain of evidence against me that I'd get away from the fraud charges. He did his best and got me a separate trial from Alby. He was the one that was big in the news, so no one really cared about me, not until after the trial; that's when the media started hounding me. They didn't stop until a little while after Alby's sentencing a few months after mine. Anyway, the jurors believed my story a little bit, they gave me a much lesser sentence than what Alby got from his jurors. I was fined one million dollars to be..."

"What the fuck?" Brian yelled, hopping off the couch. "Are you fucking kidding me? Did you just say a million fucking dollars?"

Justin shook his head. "I wish I were kidding you. The judge reduced the fine to five hundred thousand dollars, to be paid by January, 11th 2006."

"They expect you to fucking pay back half-a-million dollars! When did they fucking sentence you?" Brian demanded, pacing back and forth in front of the blond.

"They sentenced me in January of 2003," Justin, answered Brian. "The judge reduced the fine, given that I comply to pay back the money in this time frame. But, I don't think he really expected me to be able to pay it back because if I don't, I'll be going to prison." The blond revealed the last statement with a whisper full of despair.

Brian fumed for Justin. He couldn't believe what injustice had been done to the blond. He stopped his pacing and looked down at Justin, really looked at him. He could see the layers of pain, strength and courage that hid Justin's innocence and wondered how in the fuck anyone could have taken such atrocious advantage of him. Furthermore, he wondered how anyone could believe that he would compromise his future at such a young age when he had a damn promising one. "You've been hustling yourself for money to pay this off," Brian assessed rhetorically.

"My mom and dad sold their house and moved into a tiny condo. They took the profit from the sale to pay my lawyer and the money I was going to use for the last two years of school they gave me to pay off some of the fine. The last time I saw my father, he handed me a check for one-hundred and eighty thousand dollars and told me that I was no longer welcome in my family's lives."

"They didn't believe you?" Brian asked in disbelief, sitting down beside Justin.

"They acted like it at first. But then again, they couldn't afford the million-dollar bail so I didn't see them much while I was waiting in jail for my trial. I guess they probably believed all the things the press released about me."

"Like what?" Brian asked, but he wasn't quite sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"I don't..." Justin closed his eyes and pushed those memories away from him. "I can't talk about that, not right now. But it led to my parents thinking that I'd been doing drugs and even though Professor Alby was married and denied it, I think they believed the general consensus that we were also having an affair. My dad never wanted me to go to art school and the only reason he allowed me to go was because of...what I don't want to talk about."

Brian nodded his head in understanding. He had his own demons he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to reveal. "So they don't know what you're doing to earn the money, do they?"

"No. They probably wouldn't care if they knew, other than to damn me for shaming them more than I already have."

"They're the ones that should be ashamed," Brian replied, bringing his hand to Justin's head and curling his fingers in Justin's hair. "You were only a kid, they should've stuck by you, helped you."

"Parents rarely do what they're supposed to do," Justin spoke and saw Brian nod in agreement. "I think they knew that I'd have to do something practically illegal to get the rest of the money and they wanted no part in it."

"How much more do you owe?" Brian asked worriedly.

"I've managed to pay four-hundred and forty thousand, but I probably won't get enough to pay everything off by next year unless I get lucky and have a bunch of clients like you," Justin teased.

"I'll fucking give you the rest of the money," Brian said, before he could think about what he'd offered.

Justin laughed. "You can't, how would I explain that to the government?" Justin asked. "I'm not even sure how I'm going to legally accept the ten grand."

"How in the hell do they think you're making money?"

"The escort service is one fixed fee for every date. It's legal. They would've arrested me a long time ago if it weren't."

"What if I bought a painting from you?" Brian asked.

"You can't," Justin snickered. "That's why I stopped selling my sketches in the park, it got too risky. One of the terms of my sentence is that I am not allowed to sell any artwork without a reputable agent, and only after the fine is paid off."

"I'll cash the ten grand myself and you can use that to live off of," Brian concluded. "Will that help you?"

"Yeah, it will." Justin reached his hand up and put it over Brian's, stilling the man's fingers in his hair. "I don't want to think about it anymore, okay?"

"Okay," Brian agreed.

"You can fuck me now," Justin whispered, drawing the man's hand down his chest and to his hardening cock.

Brian laughed. "How is it that I forgot we were naked?"

Justin stood up, holding Brian's hand he pulled him off the couch and led him into the bedroom.

Brian turned Justin onto his back. "Like this," he demanded huskily. "Face to face."

"I've never done it like this," Justin admitted in a quiet voice. "I always hoped my first time would be like this though," he said, spreading his legs for Brian to get in between them.

Brian painted a path from one of Justin's clavicle's to the other and then placed his mouth against Justin's open, moaning one, imagining how sweet and innocent Justin probably was when he gave up his virginity. "What was your first time like?" Brian asked.

"My friend at the agency, Luke, he fucked me so that I could..." Justin kissed Brian then, he didn't want to think about that. It was his last night with Brian and he doubted he'd see the man in the future. He wanted to experience pleasure he knew he never would again, without thinking about his past or future.

Brian held Justin's face as he gave into the urgency that the blond's kiss coerced from deep within his body. Justin's fingers danced up and down his back while his palms kneaded Brian's muscles in unison. Their cocks were hard and wet as they slid against each other. Brian explored Justin's mouth and found that it tasted like the honey that had dripped across his dessert plate; it now splashed into Brian's mouth and further fueled the fire ignited around them.

Overwhelmed with his desire to be inside Justin, Brian was anxious to move to preparing the blond's asshole. His mouth watered as he flattened his tongue down Justin's chin and moved his body backward, leaving a trail of saliva down Justin's neck and chest and pooling in his belly button where he ended the licking and momentarily rested his head against Justin's thigh. The smell of Justin's sex, the feel of his hard cock arching and burning against his skin drove Brian on.

Justin's head spun as Brian lifted his legs onto his shoulders and expertly licked the skin just around his hole. "Lick me, Brian," he pleaded desperately.

Brian leaned his face against Justin's inner thigh and smirked up at the younger man. "I was licking you," he teased in a throaty whisper. "Is there a particular place you'd like me to place my tongue?"

"My hole," the blond pleaded and wantonly thrust his hips up.

Brian placed one hand on Justin's hip to keep him steady and used the other to part one of Justin's ass cheeks. He licked under Justin's balls, one long stripe down to his center where he then eagerly obliged the boy's request.

*****



Brian almost laughed in wonder when Justin came. They'd fucked near a dozen times at that point, but never had he heard the blond be so loud and uninhibited. Justin's begging and demands broke through the sound of their slapping bodies, whispers of direction and quiet moans of havens reached time and time again, guiding them to the precipice of climax.

Justin's back arched and jolted repeatedly while his mouth poured out sounds of pleasure Brian had never awoken in anyone before. He wrapped his arms under Justin's back and pulled him flush against his body so he could feel the blond's release completely. Justin's fingernails bit into the flesh of his arms and the sting sent a direct current to his cock, triggering lights to flash behind his eyes. His body turned into percussions of energy, bounding out from within him, his heat flooding into Justin's passage, the latex barely separating his release.

Justin breathed in everything. The smell of the thick air, the sounds of the bedsprings settling under their twitching, tired bodies, the colors that flickered behind his eyes, made tangible by the aftershocks of his orgasm. He gave into the whole experience, held onto every sensation as his mind unwound from the tight ropes of pleasure heeding themselves into his long-term fevered memory. While he was still absorbing the aftershocks, his cock painted with his emission, became rigid between his and Brian's muscles once again.

*****



Justin placed the second condom on Brian's cock much quicker than he'd placed the first. There were only small traces of lube left from their first round in his ass. The sweat dripping down Justin's crack was gathered as thought it were dew, slicking the sheath around Brian's cock before he slid inside Justin's needy hole.

Once again, the previously mapped course began, different roads taken, leading to exciting pathways to bliss. Twice more the blond and brunet traveled into the infinity of one another's bodies. When both men were exhausted, sleep came quickly for Brian as their bodies separated for the final time that night.

The snow stopped falling the instant that Justin opened his eyes to see Brian had fallen asleep. He kissed Brian's lips and wondered if the morning's impending separation would be enough to keep him from falling for Brian Kinney.

*****



Monday, February 14, 2005

In the morning, after both men took separate showers, Brian insisted that Justin stay for breakfast. He reasoned that they would avoid the bank's rush. Justin agreed to stay for the meal and glanced through his Art Forum while Brian read the newspaper.

The airports opened early that morning and most of the roads in the main city blocks were open, but there was a problem with the ‘L' and Justin wasn't looking forward to paying the high price to take a cab out to his apartment. He could've taken a bus but didn't want to deal with waiting in the cold between each transfer. Brian called and arranged for the cab while the blond packed his clothes into one of the shopping bags. All morning the air sparked with tension and quiet words working to diffuse it, but not making much headway.

Brian placed his business card on the bank's counter as the teller went to find the manager to make the needed transaction. He took out a pen from his pocket and wrote on the back of his business card. 

Justin, if you are in trouble and you need anything, please call me. If you are unable to pay the fine, I will figure out a way to make it look legal and I will pay it off. Or if there is anything else you need I will figure out something to help you. ~ Brian

"Mr. Kinney, I'm Fredrick Westfield, the manager of U.S. Bank," a short, old man who barely looked as though he could see over the counter held his hand out to Brian.

Brian shook the man's hand. "Please call me, Brian. It's nice to meet you."

"Brian, would you mind stepping into my office for just a moment?" the man asked.

"Of course," Brian replied, following the man down a short hallway and into his swanky office.

"Please take a seat." Fredrick motioned Brian toward one of the chairs in front of his desk as he sat in his leather chair behind it. Once Brian was seated, the man began to speak, "You've requested to withdraw a substantial amount from the bank."

"Is there going to be a problem with that?" Brian asked in a clipped tone. "I have been a highly valued customer of this bank for some time now. I opened up my first savings account here when I was twelve."

"I suppose in that time you have not asked to withdraw cash in any amount over two-thousand dollars?" Fredrick asked.

Brian couldn't think of a time when he had. "No," he replied, aggravated.

"We prefer to take care of these large cash transactions in private. I do not mean to inconvenience you; we value your safety and commitment to this bank. We do not count this money in the lobby with one of those tellers and all the people looking on. I hope you understand."

Brian sighed, relieved. "Thank you, Mr. Westfield. I appreciate the extra precautions."

*****



Brian slipped his business card inside the money envelope as he walked back into the lobby, then placed it in the inside pocket of his suit jacket. He walked toward Justin, who sat on one of the benches waiting for him. "Hey," he whispered, touching the blond's shoulder.

Justin stood up and gave Brian his best smile as the man walked around to face him. "Did everything go okay?" he asked.

"Fine," Brian replied, stepping closer and embracing Justin. He held onto the man tightly and whispered in his ear, "In the left inside pocket is the money, take it out and put it in under your sweater in your waistband. You don't have to count it; I promise it's all there."

Justin listened to Brian's directions and placed the envelope in his waistband. "I trust you," he said, turning his face up and placing a kiss to the man's lips. Just before the kiss turned too passionate for public display, Justin pulled away from Brian. "Thanks," he whispered and picked up the bag at his feet.

Brian looked at his watch. "You still have about fifteen minutes before your cab gets here," he informed the younger man.

Justin shrugged. "I think I'm going to wait in the café and get a hot cocoa to warm me up before I head out in the cold."

Brian swallowed around the pulsing lump that formed in his throat. He cast aside the melancholy threatening to invade his mind and forced out one whispered word, "Later."

Justin begged himself to speak his reply strongly. "Later, Brian." He didn't know if he'd succeeded, so he quickly turned away before he could watch the other man walk away from him.

Justin's legs felt like lead as he walked to the café. As he sat sipping his cocoa, he wished his heart had remained made of iron and loathed his weakness. He tapped his feet on the tile floor nervously, looking outside and wishing that his taxi would arrive. The anticipation to get away from Brian was as great as the desire to stay with him, which was exactly why he needed to leave.

"Justin?"

Justin heard an older man's voice call his name beside him, and he readied himself to look at who was probably a previous customer. He took a moment before turning away from the window and toward the voice, realizing that not many of them knew his name, so it could be one that adored his services.

"Sorry to bother you," the gray-haired man spoke.

Justin felt completely confused. Sure he didn't remember all of his past customers, but he was pretty sure the man standing above him was not one of them. "Do I know you?" he asked carefully.

"May I sit down?" the man asked.

Justin shook his head, "Not until you tell me who you are."

"I'm Randall Lewis," the man replied through laughter. "I suppose I should've introduced myself first. That wasn't very good manners, was it?"

Justin's eyes widened, as he comprehended who the man was. "Oh, sure, sit down, this is after all, your hotel," he spoke apologetically, giving the man his best smile.

"So your fiancé has spoken of me?" Randall asked happily.

"Uhmm..."

"Brian Kinney," Randall explained, taking a seat across from Justin. "You are the Justin that is engaged to Brian, correct?"

Justin couldn't believe he was about to lie for Brian, and without being paid. "Oh, yes, I'm sorry. I'm a little tired this morning so I'm a little slow, but yes, Brian has mentioned you. You were so kind to meet with him so that I could also see him this weekend," Justin praised the man, pouring it on thick.

"My wife and I arrived just a few moments ago. My sister-in-law, she's the clerk at the AX store, and she was gushing to us about how in love you and Brian are."

Justin grinned. "We are," he affirmed, silently pleading with the man to leave him alone.

"Knowing how booked up Brian is with his work, I'm sure you two have your wedding date scheduled. He said you two will be going on vacation the 21st." Randall inquired, "Does this happen to be the honeymoon?"

The date clicked in Justin's mind and he enthusiastically nodded his head. "Yes, actually we're getting married on my birthday which is on the twentieth."

"You are?" the man grinned. "That's very romantic. Oh, I see my wife; I have to introduce you to her. I'll be right back, Justin."

"Okay," Justin said, trying to keep his voice happy. As the man walked away, he was sure that instead of helping Brian, he might have fucked things up for the man. Justin touched his stomach feeling the wad of cash inside the envelope and debated whether to run out the door while the man's back was turned, or to wait it out and then make his way back up to Brian, so that he could tell the man the added parts to the lie.

Just when Justin rose from the table, Mr. and Mrs. Lewis joyfully entered the café. The woman had the arm that wasn't in a cast wrapped around her husband's waist. Justin thought they looked too excessively happy and in love for old people. The blond plastered on another smile as he picked up his bag and walked toward them.

Chapter 6 - Poor Man by galeandrandy

I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money. ~ Pablo Picasso



*****

 

Monday, February 14, 2005

"You're just as adorable as my sister told me," Irene said, greeting Justin with a one-armed hug.

Justin awkwardly pulled away, wondering what in the hell the woman was on that would make her think it was okay to hug a stranger. "Thanks," he said uncomfortably.

"Dear, you're making him blush," Randall chided his wife. "Now, I'd better make proper introductions before you think we have no manners," the man spoke to the blond boy. "Justin, let me introduce you to my wife, Irene Lane-Lewis. Irene this is Justin... Well, actually, I don't believe the staff informed me of your full name, Justin. What did you say it was?"

"It will be Kinney soon," Justin replied, hoping to get away from telling the truth. He guessed that Randall and Irene were both well informed; the last thing he wanted was for them to recognize his name if they hadn't already recognized his face.

"Well I opted to keep my name," Irene told the young man. "But I rather liked my maiden name."

"What is your last name?" Randall asked once again, wondering if he'd met the boy before, as he seemed very familiar to him.

"Taylor." Justin tried to keep the shame he felt speaking his last name out of his voice. He felt pangs of empathy as he realized why his family abandoned him; even if it wasn't his fault exactly, he'd tarnished their name.

Randall nodded and gave Justin a slight smile. "I was telling my wife that you and Brian are to be married next week. I suppose you have all the particulars worked out?"

"I leave the details up to Brian," Justin easily lied.

"Well, I've never met him personally, but after speaking with him on the phone, I must assess that he definitely seems to know what he wants."

Justin laughed at the man's remark and replied, "Lucky for me."

"Where is your fiancé?" Irene asked, looking into the café.

"He's upstairs," Justin deadpanned. "He had work to do." He really had no idea what Brian was doing, but it seemed like a logical response.

"And you did a little more shopping?" Irene asked.

Justin wondered if the man and woman were southern born because he'd never met anyone in Chicago so damn nosy. Even the press hadn't prodded him as hard. "Actually, I was going to head to my apartment."

"Today is a day for lovers," Randall gasped. "Surely Brian is not going to work all day. I will not allow that."

"You two have Valentine's Day plans, don't you?" Mrs. Lewis asked.

Justin nodded and plastered on a dreamy expression. "I already bought Brian something, but I left it at my apartment. I didn't think it was going to snow so much or I would've brought it with me."

"Chicago weather is unpredictable at times," Randall grumbled. "I was lucky to have clearance with our jet this morning."

"It was wonderful meeting you both," Justin said, hoping to leave. He'd find a pay phone, ring Brian's room and tell him of the lies he had to tell. "I've got to get going though, or I won't be back with my present in time for our special plans."

"Where do you live, Justin?" Randall asked. "Not much of the city's roads are cleared, we heard of a thirteen car pile-up down Halstead and Grand. It's causing traffic to be stopped for miles around."

"Well, I live on Clark, so I guess I'll just have to brave the weather and traffic," Justin replied. "I can't be empty handed on Valentine's Day," he reasoned.

"If you show up at all," Irene said, horrified. "It's supposed to start snowing again in a few hours. If I were you, I'd buy Brian something here at one of the shops. I doubt he would want his fiancé to risk his life for a gift."

Justin groaned inside and gritted his teeth as he spoke, "But the gift I have for him is really special and I can't exactly afford to buy him anything else."

"Nonsense," Randall replied, taking Justin by the arm and wrapping one around Irene's waist. "It will be on the house. After all, I'm sure you and Brian would've spent the night at your home if I hadn't requested you both stay here Friday. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be having this problem and could give Brian your gift. It's up to me to make sure you can give your fiancé a most amazing gift. Irene will go with you and let the clerks know to charge me for the bill."

"I couldn't," Justin protested, having to stop himself from literally digging his heels into the marble floor as they walked toward the stores.

"Sure you can," Randall countered. "In fact, Irene has admitted that she's having the same trouble you are. Our home is over on Crest and there is no way I can take the chance to go out there for a gift that will mean just as much to me any day as it would today. I was lucky and kept my gift for Irene in my office here."

"Come, Justin," Irene said, dropping her husband's arm. "I can see by your clothing that you must have impeccable taste. I do need your help to shop."

Justin knew there was no getting out of it, at least not without pissing the couple off and possibly ruining things for Brian. He smiled a fake grin at the two Lewises and followed the woman into the store, praying that he would get out of the mess before their lies were exposed. He hated lying, more than he hated any other sin he'd ever committed, and the Lewises were obviously nice trusting people. It pained him to go along with such a charade, but he had no choice.

*****


By the time Justin and Irene finished shopping, Justin had developed a plan. He figured that he would go back to Brian's room, tell him about the extra lies then sneak downstairs and take a bus to his house. He worked out that Brian could tell Mr. Lewis that his devoted fiancé came down with a sudden cold and was indisposed for the rest of the evening. It was the perfect plan.

"Thank you for your generosity," Justin kindly spoke to the woman as they walked out of the sweet store.

"Anytime, Justin," Irene replied. "It was wonderful to shop with you. I am very confident that Randall will love my gift, thanks to you. It's much better than the new golf bag I have for him at home."

"I'm glad," Justin said genuinely. "I think Brian will enjoy this gift much better as well." It wasn't a lie exactly; it's not as though he had gotten him a thing, so now that he had Brian would like something better than nothing.

"Well, I'm going to go upstairs, I hope to see you again before Brian and you leave."

"Me too," Justin told the woman. Irene had taken to calling him son and from the way she talked to him; it made him want to pretend that it was true. He missed his mother so much, and spending time with Mrs. Lewis made him realize just how much. She was a loving, classy lady but could joke and laugh with Justin, the same way his mother did. This was the third Valentine's Day that his mother didn't send him a card and inside it, a cheesy character card from Molly; he missed it more than he ever thought he would.

"Are you okay?" Irene asked, noticing the blond's far-away look.

Justin nodded and lied, "I'm fine, really. I was just thinking about what I want to put in the card for Brian."

"You love him deeply, don't you?" Irene asked.

"Yes," Justin lied, wondering what he'd have to do to bring back all the good karma he was losing by lying to the old couple.

"Well, I'll give you some time alone," the woman said and hugged Justin. "Have a wonderful night," she wished.

"You too," Justin told her. "Thanks again."

"You're very welcome. I can't wait to meet your fiancé; he must be quite the catch to have such a great partner," she praised in parting as she walked toward the bank of elevators.

Justin's shoulders slumped in defeat as he walked toward a table sitting outside the café. He looked out the large windows and considered leaving once again. He didn't have to tell Brian anything, but he couldn't steal the Lewises money and that's what he would be doing if he didn't deliver Brian his gifts.

He took out the card and looked at the front. Justin groaned as he thought of how stupid he was for buying something that was obviously personal to him. On the deep red background was a sketch of an easel with a white canvas, bearing one blue heart and one green. In the center of the hearts was a plus sign made out of two small paintbrushes.

He opened the card, which was blank inside and his words flowed without hesitation.

Brian,
If you read this, I'm sure that you will think I'm nuts already, just by looking at the front of the card. Don't freak out, I'm not going to stalk you or ever declare my undying love for you.

But I am going thank you for treating me with respect and kindness that no one has shown me for a very long time. You were the first person I told of my past and you believed me without question. That made me happier than I've felt in years. What I said to you downstairs is true, I trust you more than anyone else in my life, which I'm sure is very weird, but nonetheless true.

I have replaced the memory of my first time with last night, as it is in a way true. It is the first time that anyone ever had sex with me as Justin. Whether you think of it that way or not, you made me feel that way, and I thank you for that. I hope you get what you came to Chicago for, you really deserve it. 

You'll probably roll your eyes at this whole letter, if you even read it; so I'm going to take a risk. Brian Kinney, you made my life better, even if only for a few days. I'll probably look back on this weekend more times than I'll be able to count. I bet you won't remember me at all. I understand. I don't exactly want to remember this part of me either.

Good luck in life, Brian. I hope you get what you want.
Later, ~Justin


Satisfied with what he'd written, Justin walked toward the elevators and waited for the express one that would take him to the Penthouse. He almost screamed when he saw Mr. Lewis walking up behind him as the doors opened. He rushed inside the elevator hoping that the doors would close before the man entered. Justin forced a smile as he realized he would have no such luck.

"You're in quite the hurry," Randall laughed. "Young love," he teased, "so urgent to see your fiancé, Justin?"

Justin nodded and walked toward the key pad. "Which floor for you, Mr. Lewis?"

"Seeing that this is the express to the Penthouse floor, I'll take the same one as you," the man replied smiling. "The only one."

Justin looked at the buttons and died a little inside when he saw there was only one designated for the penthouse floor, the others were for closing the doors or emergency use. He pressed the up button and the elevator slowly began to rise.

"So what is it you do, Justin? I could swear I know you from somewhere."

Justin felt his face pale and his stomach turn as he staggered back against the wall. He quickly made an excuse for his behavior, "Going up and down elevators always gives me vertigo."

"Me too, though you'd think I'd be used to it by now." Randall persisted his questioning, "So what line of work are you in?"

"I'm an artist," Justin half-lied, eyeing the man, to gauge his reaction.

"Hmm.... I don't believe I've seen any of your own work," Randall replied.

"I don't show at galleries," Justin said truthfully. He silently begged the express elevator to show why it was named as such.

"Your relationship must be very strong with Brian. I don't know if I could've handled being away from my Irene for any length of time while we were dating. How long have you two been together?"

Justin's spine crawled with warnings spreading into his nerves. Randall had lost his easy, happy smile. The man had specifically said he hadn't seen any of his own work. He sucked in a deep breath and then answered, "We've been together for two years."

"So you two have had an open relationship?" Randall boldly asked.

Justin sucked in a deep breath, realizing that the man probably knew about the con and had most likely seen him with other men he'd met at the hotel. "No, not exactly," Justin admitted, feeling like he was drowning in his lies.

"It must be hard being so young and having the attention of someone older, like Brian," Randall said. "I've done my research. I know he's got to be at least ten years older than you, not that there is anything wrong with the age difference."

Think, think! Justin screamed inside his head trying to come up with a cover. "I cheated on Brian, a few times," he lied. "I wasn't sure that I was ready for the kind of relationship he wanted with me. I was stupid and I felt so alone without him. It's no excuse, but Brian took me back. On Christmas he proposed to me and I accepted because I realized that more than anyone, he's always been the one to stick by me, to believe in me and to love me."

"Well, then," Randall spoke, smiling, "I believe in you too, Justin. I think your passion and love for Brian is as strong as mine for Irene. I hope that when I meet him I see the same thing directed toward you."

‘Me too,' Justin thought. The elevator finally gave him a reprieve and he nearly ran out the doors. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Brian pushing the breakfast cart out into the hall. "Brian!" Justin gasped. He took off into a sprint toward the man and planted a huge kiss on his lips.

Brian couldn't have been more surprised. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked, his voice soft from being so thrown.

Justin quickly whispered in Brian's ear, "That's Mr. Lewis, go along with me."

"Mr. Kinney, I presume," Randall spoke, coming up behind the two lovers. "I'm sorry to interrupt such a loving display, but I wanted to introduce myself to you. It's been a joy talking to your fiancé."

"You...you met my fiancé?" Brian asked, trying to grasp what the fuck was going on.

"Yes," Randall said, holding out his hand for Brian to shake. "I'm glad to finally meet you, Brian. I've heard a lot about you."

Brian straightened his posture and shook the man's hand. "It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Lewis." For looks, he wrapped his arm around Justin and pulled him close to his body. "Where did you two meet, Sunshine?" Brian asked, glaring down at the blond.

"In the café," Justin responded, inconspicuously elbowing Brian when the man's fingers dug into his hip a bit too hard.

"Justin said you two are getting married next week?"

"Yes," Brian choked out, squeezing Justin again. "Did you tell him the date, Sunshine?"

"Sure did," Justin, replied too sweetly, looking up at the man. "On the twentieth, my birthday!" He knew he was in deep shit trouble so he figured he'd add a little more ammo; he had nothing else to lose. "Brian's the most wonderfully romantic man on the face of this Earth, Randall. He is the most loving, patient and beautiful man I've ever known. I'm so lucky to have met him." Justin kissed Brian's neck and whispered, "Asshole," into his ear.

"No," Brian replied. "I'm the lucky one." He dipped his head and planted a deep but chaste kiss on Justin's lips. "What's that you have there?" Brian asked, looking at the atrociously red and pink heart decorated bags.

"Well, my wife and I convinced Justin to shop at one of the stores for your gift instead of taking a risk and going home. I think the snow has already started to fall again."

"I had to get you something, Brian," Justin explained. "It just wouldn't be Valentine's Day if I couldn't get you a special gift."

"Aren't you sweet?" Brian snickered and kissed Justin again. The kiss was the exact opposite of what he really wanted to give Justin.

Randall cleared his throat. "Well I suppose I should let you two get back to your big plans. You're taking him out to dinner tonight, aren't you, Brian?"

Brian frowned. "Actually, the restaurant we had reservations for is closed. We're probably going to have to stay in tonight. There's no way we'll get a table anywhere on such short notice."

"Oh, no," Justin protested. "I guess we will have to stay in, though I was looking forward to dancing with you," he added with the saddest expression he could give the brunet.

"Not. A. Problem," Randall told the men. "Do you two happen to have your tuxes for your wedding?"

"Well, actually, we planned on wearing simple suits," Justin replied warily.

"I'll foot the bill for the both of you to buy one from our store. I'll inform Julio at BOSS that you two will be down there today. If you go down there within an hour or two, Franco, our tailor, should be able to make any alterations you may need and have them delivered to you by five o'clock. Will that give you enough time to be ready for dinner by say, six o'clock?" Randall asked the stunned pair.

Brian wanted to run into his hotel room, shut the door and scream. However, he managed to reply, "Yes, Mr. Lewis, that should be fine."

Justin made one last ditch effort to get out of their predicament. He voiced his concerns, "There'll be no need to have the suits. We don't have dinner reserva..."

Randall cut Justin off. "Yes you do." He flipped open his phone and dialed the number for Black, the hotel's largest restaurant. "Laurie, this is Randall Lewis. I will need two tables for tonight at six, preferably near the dance floor. One under my name and one under the name Kinney. Yes, the almost newlyweds," he laughed. "Okay, thank you." He flipped his phone closed, pocketed it and smiled at the men. "Just give them your name when you go down."

"Thank you, Mr. Lewis," Brian said, shaking the man's hand once again.

"Yes, thank you," Justin added. He wasn't thankful at all. Not one bit!

"I'll see you both at dinner," Randall replied. "But don't worry. Irene and I won't monopolize your time. We realize this is a very special night for you both."

"Yes, it is," Justin replied as Brian pulled him inside the room.

"Holy fuck!" Brian yelled the moment the door was closed. "What the fuck was that about?"

"I..." Justin wasn't sure how to explain it. "Brian, he totally cornered me. I thought I was helping you," he defended himself.

"Helping me?" Brian hissed, falling back onto the couch.

"He somehow already knew who I was and he kept asking all these questions that I had to give him answers to. I didn't want you to lose the account if he found out you lied about us."

"Oh fuck!" Brian groaned. "You realize we have to get fucking tuxes and go to a fucking..." he paused and his whole body shivered. Brian sneered, "We have to attend a Valentine's Day dinner."

Justin laughed at Brian's horror as he placed his bags in the bedroom. He took the envelope of money out and placed it in the bag with his clothes, it was so close to his skin it'd felt like it had been burning him. He was glad to be free of it. "It could be worse," he said walking back to sit beside Brian.

"How in the fuck could this be any worse?" Brian asked in disbelief. "I am not good with dates. I've never been good with dates. I don't even think I've ever been on a fucking date."

"Me neither," Justin groaned in reply. "But we'll just have to play happy couple and make it up as we go along."

Brian glared at Justin. "I suppose you're going to want to be paid for this?"

Justin laughed. "Brian, I am getting a fucking tux out of the deal."

"This is going to be so bad," Brian declared. "I can feel it."

Justin nodded. "You may be right. But think of it this way, I'll let you fuck me for free when we get back."

Brian shook his head. "You really don't have to use that on me since you are helping me."

Justin smiled. "Good."

"But I wouldn't particularly mind a blowjob right now."

Justin giggled and straddled Brian. "You can fuck me and then we'll both benefit from our dire circumstances," he teased, nipping at Brian's neck.

Brian cupped Justin ass in his hands and squeezed it. "Not here, in the bedroom."

"I want to ride you," Justin whispered huskily.

Brian held Justin to him and pushed them off the couch. Justin's legs wrapped securely around his waist and they kissed their way into the bedroom. "You're a rather demanding boy, Sunshine," Brian chuckled as he threw the blond on the bed.

Justin smiled in satisfaction as Brian crawled toward him.

Chapter 7 - Fortunate Son by galeandrandy

We cannot seek or attain health, wealth, learning, justice or kindness in general. Action is always specific, concrete, individualized, unique. ~ Benjamin Jowett



*****

 

Monday, February 14, 2005

Brian twisted Justin's nipples between his fingers, pulling on them hard, feeling the blond's ass contract around his cock each time he pinched them.

Justin leaned back, forcing Brian to stop the torture to his chest as he reached behind him and placed his hands on Brian's thighs. He pivoted his pelvis forward and back, forcing the thick cock deeper inside him. He flexed his muscles for a beat around Brian's dick on each glide in before allowing it to slide slowly out of his body, the crown catching around the rim of his hole, driving the man before him crazy. 

Brian bent forward, wrapping his arms around Justin's back, his fingers digging in between the boy's ribs, using them to hang onto as the blond started moving furiously in his lap. Justin was the definition of ‘power bottom'. Every move he made gradually pulled Brian toward orgasm. Though he knew that Justin was a professional, he knew that he didn't put as much effort into other fucks with customers as he did each time he fucked him. Hell, Brian was sure there was more effort in one of Justin's kisses. Justin was there with him, in ways Brian didn't want to dissect the full meaning of to both himself and the blond.

Justin's thighs and abs ached, but he couldn't stop moving, driving the passion on. His muscles, wound so tight from repetitive exertion, working like springs, bouncing his body up and down on instinct. He craved the pressure upon his prostate, he tingled with the pain and pleasure of the stretch and burn sizzling through his body. Each time Brian would nibble at a spot on his skin, he felt overwhelmed with the need to get to the place where he could make it stop, but still craved more and never wanted it to end. He was a mass of conflicting emotions and pleasures, barely keeping it together. Justin almost passed out when Brian's swiftly moving fist squeezed the tip of his cock so deliciously that his heart momentarily stopped beating as he came.

Brian bit Justin's shoulder as his climax took possession of him. He held Justin so tightly that the blond's dick, overcome by friction and then restriction, spurted against their skin. Besides soft groans, it seemed to be almost silent when they came, too overpowering to allow for any words. 

When he could manage, Brian moved them both to their sides, holding onto the condom and pulling himself out of Justin's ass. He threw the condom haphazardly to the floor and turned onto his back, the sweat on his skin instantly cooling and making him shiver. He grabbed Justin and pulled him close; it was cold and he didn't appreciate the separation between their bodies. Yes, that perfect excuse allowed Brian the contact with the blond after their sex, saving him from freaking out about the unexplainable need he felt to touch Justin.

Justin rubbed his face against Brian's and peppered soft kisses along his forehead, tasting the salty sweat on his skin. He felt elated, an emotion he was rarely familiar with, but he yearned to express it. No matter how tired he was, or how afraid he was, he needed more of Brian and he just couldn't stop kissing him.

Brian ached inside from every kiss Justin placed against his skin. His hands skimmed up Justin's back, over his shoulders, along his neck, cupping his head in his hands. He stared at him, looking for something visible that could explain the rush he felt from being with the blond. Justin's face still appeared flushed, his eyes heavy-lidded and his mouth hung open, breathing hot breaths against his face.

"What?" Justin asked while shifting his body around, brushing their stiffening cocks against each other. "You want more?" he asked, feeling the urgent tingle race up his spine.

Brian couldn't answer the blond. Yes, he wanted more, but there was a different sense of gravity to the meaning of ‘more' that he wanted. He pulled Justin's head close to his, resting their foreheads together and cocked his head a little to the side, staring into Justin's blue eyes. Brian opened his mouth and let out a long breath, feeding it into Justin's mouth, causing the blond to gasp one into his. A split-second later, Brian kissed him so slowly that it left him breathless when he pulled away minutes later.

Brian stunned Justin, so much so that Justin didn't realize Brian had gently rolled out from under him and headed into the bathroom until he heard the shower turn on.

*****



"You look..." Brian paused and circled Justin, finger tapping his lips as he tried to come up with the appropriate word.

"Laughable?" Justin asked, pulling at the sleeves of his tuxedo.

"No," Brian said. "You look older."

"I'm not sure if that's a compliment," Justin huffed, looking at Brian. "Is it?"

"You look beautiful," Brian informed the blond. The second the words were out of his mouth, he felt his stomach churn.

"What's that face for?" Justin asked, looking at Brian in the mirror.

Brian looked into the mirror and quickly smiled, he hadn't even realized that he had a sick looking expression on his face. "Nothing," he responded, still feeling his stomach turn.

"You don't normally tell anyone they look beautiful," Justin observed. "Do you?"

Brian turned away and walked into the bedroom. The little shit had a way of assessing his inner thoughts and it irked the fuck out of him! "I don't make a habit of celebrating Valentine's Day either," he called, grabbing the small velvet bag from his suitcase.

"I figured." Justin smirked at himself in the mirror and gasped in surprise when Brian came up behind him with what appeared to be a present for him, dangling from two of his fingers.

"Here," Brian offered.

"You got me something?" Justin asked curiously, not yet taking the item from him.

"Yeah, cause..." Brian stammered. "I just...ah fuck!"

Justin laughed in amusement. "Does giving presents usually make you cuss and stutter?" he teased.

"Ha ha," Brian barked. "Listen, I hate lying," he explained. "This game we have going on isn't something I'd ever consider going along with, if it wasn't necessary. It's not just about the money I could lose if Lewis found out I lied to him. He could ruin my reputation and my business. I'm sure you've guessed that I've had to work damn hard to have my own firm at my young age. I worked my ass off to make it happen and practically gave my life to get it to where it is now. It's the best independent agency on the East Coast."

"I didn't know it was your own firm," Justin said in surprise.

"Well, I have two shareholders as partners, but Kinnetik is mine. I built it from the ground up. Randall Lewis knows what I've invested in it and he knows every one of my clients, most of them personally. This was another reason why he considered a meeting with me. He's an intensely loyal and kind man, but I have also heard horror stories. If he wanted to he could very well find a way to destroy my agency, if I pissed him off."

"If he found out you're lying about us..." Justin let the consequence hang between them.

"I don't apologize for who I am and obviously I made a fucking stupid move lying in the first place. I know you're an honest man, Justin; you told me so the first night and now that I know what you fucking went through, asking you to lie and paying you to lie will be something I already regret, however necessary it is." Brian rubbed the tension in his neck and handed Justin the bag. "So, open that," he requested.

After Brian's big speech, Justin was a little more than apprehensive about what was inside. He slowly drew out a black box and opened it. "Wow!" he gasped. "This is a beautiful watch, Brian."

"I picked this up for myself when I went shopping for your clothes. I know that if we see the Lewises they'll ask you what I gave you for Valentine's Day and I don't want you to have to lie about it. This is real."

Justin ran his fingers over the smooth silver clasp and looked up at Brian in amazement. "Do I have to give this back to you?" he asked, before he got too excited.

Brian laughed. "No. You can keep it, on one condition."

Justin grinned. "What's that?"

"Throw away that piece of crap generic Timex; by the way, I had no idea they sold generic Timex watches," Brian spoke, appalled. "I'm not an Indian giver, Justin. It's yours, put it on."

"Thank you!" Justin flashed Brian a grateful smile and held his wrist out so that the man could close the clasp of the watch for him. "Before you say anything," he sighed, "I won't sell it."

"I didn't think you would," Brian told him. "Of course, if you really need to..."

Justin stopped Brian's words with a quick kiss, then raced into the bedroom and retrieved one of the gift bags he'd gotten for Brian. "Here," he said excitedly, practically bouncing in his new black Italian loafers.

Brian couldn't recall the last time someone looked so excited to give him anything. Usually at Christmas or on his birthday, his friends got him some silly sex toys, condoms or lube. On Father's Day, ‘Gus' bought him the customary tie, which Brian would wear even if it wasn't silk. He never had someone actually giggle as he opened his gift. Justin's happiness was infectious and Brian was smiling before he opened the long, rectangular box. When he saw what was inside, he could barely hold in his exhilaration. "Thank you, Justin," he spoke genuinely. "It's beautiful!"

"You like it then?" Justin asked.

Brian draped the silk scarf around his neck and grabbed the blond into his arms. "It's perfect," he spoke, just before claiming Justin's perfect mouth.

*****


Brian stood up from table and held out his hand to Mrs. Lewis. "It's wonderful to meet you."

"It's wonderful to meet you too, Brian," the woman spoke, shaking the offered hand. "Justin says you're a wonderful partner. You must be so glad you found him."

Brian smiled as he took his seat once again and reached for Justin's hand. "Justin deserves better than me," he told her. "But, I'm glad he found me."

"Do you mind if we join you for dessert?" Randall asked. "I had to beg Irene to wait until you two were finished with your main course."

"Of course you can join us," Brian replied gesturing to the two free chairs at their table.

"Have you two had a pleasant evening?" Justin asked.

"Oh yes," Irene giggled. "Randall has been a true sweetheart." She held her good arm out for Justin and Brian while wiggling her wrist. "He surprised me with a new tennis bracelet."

"It's beautiful," Justin commented.

"Don't get any ideas," Brian joked. "We're not married yet, so you're not getting diamonds or any stone for that matter until then. You'll have to be content with the watch I bought you."

Justin smirked at Brian. "Oh, I am," he said lovingly, showing the timepiece to the Lewises. He couldn't believe how easily the brunet fell into the role of a devoted partner; it eased his way into it as well. It's not that Justin didn't think that Brian would no doubt make a good partner; it's just that with what he knew of Brian's lifestyle, he thought it would take a little more time for him to be acquainted with all the duties of husband and the familiarities between partners.

"Justin has wonderful taste," Randall told Brian while tapping the watch on his wrist. "Irene said that he helped her pick this out for me," he spoke proudly.

Brian turned and saw Justin blushing crimson all over his dimpled cheeks. He really wanted to refute that claim and tell the man that Justin's tastes in watches weren't anything to write home about, and had to stop himself from laughing. Once again, he'd managed to forget the reason why Justin did not have nice things; when he did recall the reason, pangs of guilt and empathy echoed around his heart.

"I had a lot of fun shopping with you, Mrs. Lewis," Justin told her, hoping to shift the conversation away from him.

"Oh darling, you know you can call me Irene," she reminded the young man. "We're friends now and this isn't the Victorian era."

"No, it definitely isn't," Justin agreed still blushing as he smiled at the woman's warm attitude.

Secretly enjoying Justin's blushing, Brian decided to add his own praise. "Justin gave this to me today." He touched his scarf, bringing the couple's attention to it. "He does have exquisite taste."

"I chose you, didn't I?" Justin replied, giving Brian a peck on his cheek for looks. He was sure Brian only half meant his compliment, but he enjoyed it just the same.

"It's a good thing you did." Brian turned Justin's face to his and kissed him again.

"Young love," Irene sighed. "There's nothing like it."

Brian and Justin broke their kiss and forced themselves not to roll their eyes at the woman's statement.

"Oh we're not that old," Randall teased his wife. "In fact, I'd say love only gets better with time."

"Oh, here's our dessert," Mrs. Lewis exclaimed excitedly as the waiter brought over two plates and placed them in the middle of each couple's setting.

Brian could barely offer a thank you to the waiter as he left; he was too busy choking on the vomit that wanted to show itself when he realized that he was expected to share the White Chocolate-Raspberry heart shaped cheesecake with Justin. Of course, he didn't mind sharing food with the blond; it was the obviously implied romanticism that gave him instant heartburn.

"Go on, Brian," Randall encouraged as he took a forkful and held it to his wife's lips, "give your fiancé a bite."

This is what Brian expected from the moment the waiter placed the cheesy, no pun intended, dessert in front of them. Giving Justin a taste of his food was completely different than playing at romance, armed with a fork and chocolate.

Justin laughed to himself as he picked up the fork and grabbed a piece of the confection. "Here, baby," he teased, circling it in front of Brian's mouth.

Brian closed, then rolled his eyes and opened his mouth. He was going to get the blond back for that term of endearment. Didn't Justin know that he was already two seconds away from fleeing to the bathroom and losing his... Oh, damn! The sweet confection exploded over his tongue and Brian opened his eyes in surprise.

"Is it good?" Justin asked, getting a hard on from watching Brian's tongue come out and lick his lips.

"Delicious," Brian admitted, relaxing and grabbing the fork from his partner in crime.

"Mmmm.... Randall, thank you," Irene gasped in pleasure at her next bite.

Justin moaned none too delicately as he tasted the cheesecake. It was much better than what he'd thought it would be. He usually didn't care for such a thick, rich dessert, but the sweet tartness of the raspberry combined with the white chocolate was perfect.

Brian didn't give Justin back the fork when it was his turn for a bite. Instead, he'd realized that Justin's moaning seemed to drown out the other couple's disgusting chattering and gasps. He continued to feed it to the blond, keeping his attention solely on him until the dessert was finished.

"You let me eat it all?" Justin questioned as he saw Brian place the fork on the empty plate.

"That's true love," Irene commented, smiling at the couple.

Brian shrugged. "Unlike me, Justin can practically eat anything he wants and still maintain his perfectly gorgeous physique."

Justin looked away from Brian and quietly spoke to the others, "Excuse me, please. I need to use the restroom."

Brian kissed the blond's chocolate tasting lips before he walked away. His eyes followed the younger man's stellar ass through the restaurant until he disappeared around a corner.

"You have it bad," Randall laughed.

"Well I'd hope so," Irene added. "He's getting married to him."

The waiter came and took the dessert away, refilled their wine glasses and informed them that the dance floor would be opening in a few minutes.

"We're going to dance to ‘our' song," the woman told Brian. "It's a tradition every Valentine's Day."

"That's nice," Brian commented, having no idea what else to say.

"What's your and Justin's song?" Randall inquired.

Brian cringed. "We don't have one," he replied, knowing there was no way he could choose one that would satisfy them.

"You don't?" the Lewises asked in unison, their faces making horrified expressions.

Brian floundered for a good excuse but couldn't come up with anything that would actually sound good. "We don't exactly like the same type of music," he deadpanned.

"Compromise then," Irene advised. "You have to share a special song with one another. Compromise is what makes a healthy marriage, Brian."

"I'm going to talk to Freddy and ask him to play our song, sweetheart," Randall said, rising from the table. He whispered to Irene, "I'll pick them out a song."

Brian had heard the stage whisper and counted off another reason to hate relationships, to loathe the idea of love and never celebrate Valentine's Day ever again; not that he was celebrating it now. No, Brian was being forced to participate in a game.

Justin returned to the table a moment later as other couples in the restaurant began to flood onto the dance floor. "Did I miss something?" he asked, noticing Brian's look of despair that he cast his way.

Irene laughed. "Nothing at all, Sweetie. I don't suppose I could get you on the dance floor, could I?"

"Me?" Justin gasped. "What about Mr. Lewis?"

"He's gone to have the DJ play our song," she explained. "I'd like to warm myself up a bit first."

Justin looked at Brian and hoped the man would save him but Brian gave him an amused grin. "Go on, I'll join you, save you in a few minutes."

Justin reluctantly stood, but did his best not to show his dissatisfaction when he walked over to Irene and took her hand. "May I have this dance?" he asked kindly.

Irene blushed and walked happily with Justin onto the dance floor. Brian laughed quietly to himself as he watched Justin begin to dance.

"He's a good dancer," Randall commented, joining Brian at the table a few minutes later.

Brian nodded, still watching the blond dance. He hoped that his face didn't show his surprise, as he was sure that it was probably something he should know about his fiancé. Justin had good rhythm, this he knew, but Brian never imagined that he actually knew how to waltz.

"Brian, I have something to confess," the older man spoke mysteriously.

"What would that be, sir?" Brian said politely, keeping one eye on Justin.

Randall laughed. "You really are taken with him, aren't you?"

"Of course," Brian replied, turning to face Randall completely. "I'm marrying him." Brian was pleased when he got through speaking that line without puking his guts up.

"Justin told me that he cheated on you," the man revealed. "I suppose you forgave him."

Brian was glad he wasn't sipping his wine; otherwise, he would've spit it all over the man. "What?"

"He admitted that he wandered but that you went after him, you proposed to him on Christmas. That takes balls, Brian. I admire you for that. You must've really loved him to forgive him and take him back and want to start a life with him."

Brian steamed inside. He couldn't believe that Justin told the man that lie and he wondered why in the fuck the blond had felt the need to tell Randall about it. "I...I..." Brian couldn't think of what the fuck to say. He wouldn't ever go after any man! "I can't believe he would tell you about that."

"I appreciate his honesty," Randall said, placing his hand on Brian's arm. "I also appreciate that he trusted me enough to tell me. I don't think any less of you, Brian. In fact, I think it takes courage to put your heart on the line for him. I can't wait to see the two of you get married."

"Wh...what?" Brian gasped, knowing he sounded like a bumbling fool but was unable to stop himself.

"Well, I guess I shouldn't assume you'll invite Irene and me. However, I make it a point to attend all of my employee's weddings. I consider everyone connected with the Lewis name as family and we treat one another as such. This is one of the reasons my business is so successful. In fact, I was just in Pittsburgh last week to attend three different weddings. Seems love is in the water there or something."

"You were in Pittsburgh?" Brian asked. He wished he'd known the man was in his city, he never would've had to come to Chicago. He silently damned himself.

"Yes," Randall replied. "It's still under negotiations but I'm acquiring the old Hector Hotel and the mall across the street. Many of my employees from this hotel will be moving out there. I'll probably be in Pittsburgh a lot over the next year. That would work well for us, that is, if I decided to sign with Kinnetik; we'd be able to work closely together."

"That would be great," Brian replied. However, he was afraid of the man invading his city and possibly finding out that he was not with Justin.

"The thing is, Brian," the man started. "I want to feel like we are family. If you were to invite Irene and me to your wedding and let me into that part of your life, it would really show your commitment to becoming a part of the Lewis Enterprises family. Otherwise, I don't think that we'll be doing business. If you feel as though you don't want to have the same kind of relationship I share with the rest of my employees, I just don't think I could trust you with what is essentially my life."

Brian put his hands under the table and gripped his thighs, trying to quell his frustration. He let out a deep breath. "So, you're saying that unless Justin and I invite you to our wedding, you will not sign with Kinnetik?"

"I don't think that's asking too much, Brian," Randall affirmed. "Is there a problem?"

A HUGE fucking problem, Brian thought. He recalled that morning's news report and hoped it would save him, or at least buy him some time. "Mr. Lewis..."

"Randall, please call me Randall, Brian," the man interrupted.

"Randall," Brian spoke quietly. "I didn't want to ruin Valentine's Day for Justin, so I haven't told him yet, but we were supposed to be married at this small church on 5th, they do small ceremonies there no matter the denomination of the couple. Well they called me while he was downstairs this morning and told me that their pipes burst and the entire church is flooded. There isn't any way we're going to be getting married on his birthday. We're going to have to set the date back."

"Nonsense," Randall replied smugly. "You two will have it here in the Banquet hall. I can have the wedding coordinator meet with both of you tomorrow afternoon."

Brian looked down at the table and saw the butter knife still sitting there. He wanted to pick it up and slash his wrists. "I couldn't do that," he spoke, trying to sound kind. "You see, Justin hasn't ever met my family, they aren't exactly the most supportive of me in the relationship department," he explained. "So the wedding was just going to be the two of us and our witnesses. There's no need to have a large wedding."

Randall's eyebrows knit together. "Justin hasn't met your family?" he gasped.

Brian took a large drink of his wine and thought of a reply. "They wouldn't approve of him, for various reasons. I love Justin and I don't want or need their approval. I've almost lost him once; I don't need them to run him off."

"But what about your son?" Randall asked. "Don't you think he should meet him?"

"How did you know I..." Brian trailed off; the man had done his research. "My son's mother doesn't exactly support my decisions. I didn't used to be the kind of guy that would be devoted to any man and I don't think they'll ever think I am." He couldn't believe how easily the lies were coming out of his mouth. He hadn't bullshitted such a big story in his entire life!

"Well maybe if you invite them to your wedding, if they see what I see every time you look at Justin, they'll respect your decision," Mr. Lewis suggested.

"I don't think it'll be that easy," Brian said, knowing how wrong the man was at gauging how he ‘looked' at the blond. "Besides, I don't think they'll be able to afford a trip out here on such short notice." He begged God that Randall would accept his answer.

"I'm more than happy to foot the bill for any of your family that can make it. That includes travel, Brian. I'm sure that Justin would much rather go back with you to Pittsburgh knowing your family and friends support your relationship enough to come to your wedding, rather than showing up as a stranger in their town."

Brian thought of his next words carefully. He knew that if he refused, if he didn't marry the blond, or at least pretend to, he could kiss Lewis Enterprises and his business goodbye. He couldn't think with the man staring at him. His palms were sweating and he'd never been so nervous in his life. "I get your point," he said finally. "But I'll have to speak to Justin about it. Can I let you know what we decide tomorrow?"

"Of course, Brian," Randall replied. "Are you going to be able to meet with me at three o'clock tomorrow?"

"Definitely," Brian answered.

"Then you can let me know what you've decided with your wedding before the meeting." Randall looked over at his wife and stood from his chair. "Come on, let's go dance with our partners."

 

Chapter 8 - The Root of The Problem by galeandrandy

So you think that money is the root of all evil? Have you ever asked what is the root of all money? ~ Ayn Rand

*****

 

Monday, February 14, 2005

"You're a fucking fantastic dancer," Brian whispered in Justin's ear.

Justin's right foot was in major pain from Brian's clumsy dancing, but he did his best not to allow it to derail their dance. He knew they had to make it look good because so many eyes were upon them. "You would be too," he replied, "if you'd relax and let yourself enjoy it."

"I'm relaxed," the brunet assured at the exact moment he stepped on Justin's toes. He laughed, "Oops."

Justin playfully stepped onto Brian's foot, just to give him a small taste of his own medicine. "Oops," he giggled.

Brian smiled and shook his head at Justin, his cock growing hard in his slacks from the repeated playful flirting zinging between them. "I can't dance to this shit, and I don't understand why the Lewises love this song. They are old; shouldn't ‘their song' be something from the sixties or some shit?"

Justin gave in to the desires pulsing within him that begged for more contact with his dance partner and pressed himself close to Brian. "Just let me rest my head on your shoulder and we'll slow dance. I promise I won't tell anyone," he whispered seductively. "By the way, I'd guess that they liked Dolly Parton's rendition of this song better than Whitney Houston's. I bet this is the only version the DJ had."

Brian pushed Justin's shoulders back so they weren't locked in a junior high style embrace. He placed his hands on Justin's waist and guided them both as he took another clumsy step to his right. "So, how did you get to be such a good dancer?" he asked, sliding his feet on the wooden floor and barely missing the blond's toes.

"I'm a man of many talents," Justin replied while using his hand to force Brian's posture to straighten up.

"I know that," Brian answered in a husky voice. "Really, how do you know how to dance like this?"

"My mother made me take dance classes at the country club." Justin admitted, while wincing at the memories turned sour.

Brian's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah really." Justin didn't want to talk about his past; he was having too much fun in the present with Brian. "You're getting better," he praised as Brian began to glide along with the rhythm. "Just keep going to the beat and keep relaxed," he instructed gently. "It's almost over and then we can sneak out," he giggled.

Brian was about to lure Justin off the dance floor when DJ Freddy ended the song and began talking about the Lewises. He'd momentarily forgotten about the fact that Randall had requested a song for him and Justin. "Shit," he grumbled, bringing Justin's body close to his as he felt the spotlight center on them.

"This song is dedicated to the gorgeous couple on the dance floor, Brian and Justin. They have yet to find a song they can call their own; I hope this next one will create a wonderful memory for them. Please join me in wishing them the best of luck on their upcoming wedding."

"Oh fuck me," Justin mumbled, turning his face into Brian's chest as the entire restaurant erupted with applause.

"The music is playing, we...we...we have to dance," Brian stuttered his whisper. "They have a fucking spotlight on us, Justin."

Justin lifted his head up and looked at Brian. "This is horrible," he whispered, trying to gain composure.

"They're all fucking watching," Brian groaned. "Help me fucking dance," he begged.

Justin shook his head in disbelief as he listened to the lyrics of the song. "This is one of the corniest, cheesiest songs I've ever heard."

"At least I can imagine dancing to this," Brian commented feeling relieved, "it's not so bad." He started to move to the music's beat and though Justin poked fun at it, Brian enjoyed the song. It put him at ease and he soon forgot that he was dancing in front of a crowd of people.

Justin looked up at Brian with an amazed smile. He was actually having fun. Brian's enthusiasm for the song was infectious and he found himself playfully dancing, in perfect sync with him. As the song continued to play, Brian kept surprising him; he confidently spun him around the dance floor. He dipped Justin dramatically and then as the song ended, he lifted him, pressing Justin tight against his body, taking the blond's mouth in a kiss as their bodies spun together until Justin's feet finally touched the floor again.

Brian continued to explore Justin's mouth and the only thing that broke their lips apart was the sound of applause and the DJ's voice booming in the speakers, wishing their marriage well. He drew back from Justin, holding his hands and staring at him, feeling his heart beating in his throat, he was speechless. He looked around as other couples filtered onto the dance floor; the next song began to play. Brian didn't see the Lewises and everything seemed a little blurry. He looked back at Justin and clearly saw his delighted expression. "Let's get out of here," he whispered, pulling the man with him off the dance floor.

Justin followed Brian, feeling giddy and light on his feet. They reached the express elevator in no time and stumbled happily into the hotel room. "You were great, Brian!" Justin declared, closing the door.

"I've never danced like that," the brunet replied. Brian's nerves were shot. He went over to the bar and poured them both a shot. "I forgot everyone was watching us."

"Me too, Brian."

"I stopped thinking about the Lewises watching us," Brian admitted. "I didn't see them as we left. Did you?"

"I saw Irene smiling at us out of the corner of my eye," Justin told him, grabbing the proffered glass and downing the liquid. "I guess you can now officially go home with them thinking we're in love." He refilled their glasses and raised his glass in a toast. "To fake love," he declared, "since that's all love is anyway."

Brian slowly clinked his glass with Justin's but didn't drink the liquor. "I can't go home, not without marrying you first." Then, he took his shot.

Justin was barely capable of swallowing his drink for fear of it exploding inside him, trying to quell it by telling himself that he'd heard Brian wrong. "What did you just say?" he asked, finding his voice. Justin placed his shot glass on the bar and backed away from Brian, his hands shaking.

"He won't sign with me unless I invite him to our wedding," Brian explained in a falsely excited tone of voice.

"You're kidding me, right?" Justin asked in panic.

"No. I'm not. At. All. Kidding. I would not kid around about fucking marriage. I don't even believe in fucking marriage!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Justin gasped, collapsing onto the sofa. "That's fucking blackmail! Lewis can't actually think that it'll..."

"He can think whatever he wants," Brian interrupted and took a swig from the bottle. "He's like family with every fucking staff member of every damn thing he owns in this world apparently."

"That's impossible!" Justin growled. "He's got to have..."

"A million people associated with Lewis Enterprises, or maybe more? Yes, he does. He believes that every damn person connected with him is part of this big fucking family. He thinks that he should be entitled to attend our wedding. He told me that if he puts his trust in me to handle his company it means that he trusts me with his life. I should do the same. I have to do the same."

"You're seriously considering this?" Justin asked, horrified.

"I am," Brian admitted.

"When the fuck did he drop this bomb?"

"While you were dancing with his wife."

"Then you're going to have to tell him we broke up."

"So that I can sound like a fucking pussy?" Brian roared, walking over and standing above Justin. "You already made me look like an idiot. You fucking told him that you cheated on me and that I begged you to come back to me!"

"I was trying to help because..."

"You've helped enough!" Brian interrupted. "Jesus Christ, Justin! You fucking told him we're getting married next week; you told him that I'm a little fucking pansy who goes running after blond ass as if I'm some kind of lovesick idiot! You made friends with them and I doubt they'll think it's your fault if we break up. Randall will blame it on me; he'll think now I'm the one that's afraid of commitment because you're a little golden boy in their eyes now. Do you think that'll help me?"

Justin shook his head and glared up at the man. "You got yourself into this mess by lying in the first place, remember? If I didn't fucking tell them those things, if I didn't act as if I was in love with you..."

"You were paid well for services rendered," Brian growled.

Justin flinched, feeling the slap of Brian's words to his core. He couldn't believe that he'd put himself in a position that allowed him to feel hurt and pain from Brian. He wouldn't allow that, not if he could stop it. "Listen, asshole!" he yelled, standing up and placing himself inches away from Brian. "Randall would have seen through your bullshit if it weren't for my services!" he spat. "Then where would you be?"

"Fucked," Brian grumbled and sat down in the spot Justin had vacated. "Just where I am now."

"Not exactly," Justin mocked. "You're not fucked yet; you're just in deep shit trouble."

"Ah huh," Brian spoke dryly. "I have until three o'clock tomorrow to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do."

Justin saw how desperate Brian looked and decided to give the man a small bit of relief. He sat beside him and rubbed the back of Brian's neck. "Randall can't believe I'm a golden boy. I'm pretty sure he knows about my arrest."

"Oh fuck," Brian shook his head in despair. "Why do you think he knows?"

"I know because of the shit he said in the elevator to me, Brian. I know he's seen me with other men here, which is why I told him we'd broken up before. I wanted to make you look good. I'm a slut anyway, so what the fuck did it matter? He'll think I'm the one that is crazy for leaving you twice...because you're hot and rich, I mean."

"I won't be," Brian said. "If we break up, I don't think I'll be an appealing ad exec."

"Well I'm not going to fucking marry you, Brian."

"Justin," Brian spoke slowly, "we're talking about millions of dollars in profit."

"That you'll be making, yes, I know," the blond replied dryly.

"I probably couldn't get a fucking a prenuptial agreement in this short time."

"You don't need one, since I'm not marrying you," Justin sing-songed.

"You would get half of everything, Justin," Brian choked out, "if we divorced."

"We're not going to get a divorce because we're not getting married," Justin reiterated, rolling his eyes.

"I could fucking pay off that money you owe, Justin. Legally, my money would be yours and you wouldn't have to worry about going to jail. You wouldn't have to worry about anything at all. You could get a real job or better yet, you could go back to school. There's an amazing art school in Pittsburgh."

"What?" Justin gasped, standing up. "You're from fucking Pittsburgh!"

Brian's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Haven't we covered this before?"

Justin began pacing and shook his head. "No," he barked, "we've never discussed where the fuck you're from!"

"You saw my driver's license," Brian told him, still not understanding why the blond seemed so upset.

"I read your name and birth date but I didn't notice what state you lived in or the town!"

"Why does it matter where I live?" Brian asked. "Do you really love this fucking city and want to stick around here when we get married?" Brian had been planning to expand Kinnetik, but he didn't think he'd be doing it so soon. However, if that was what he had to do to get Justin to marry him, so that he could get the profits from the Lewis deal, he would do it.

"I never said I was going to marry you," Justin reminded Brian. "But having to go to Pittsburgh is more of a reason why I won't!"

"I know it's the Pitts but..."

"No, you don't get it. That's where I'm from, Brian. My fucking parents are there."

"Oh," was all the brunet could think of to say.

"The one thing that could save me from this fucking Hell..."

"So you're considering it?" Brian asked.

Justin slumped down in the sofa and brought his legs up to his chest, circling them with his arms. He placed his head on his knees and mumbled, "I don't want to ever go to jail again. I don't want to go to fucking prison and I don't want to marry you."

A thousand horrible images passed through Brian's mind, the need for money, for his business' success shifted, paling in comparison to Justin's need to live freely without fear that he would go to prison.

"I gave my first hand job to a huge bear in the cell with me. I told him I had AIDS; it's the only thing that kept him from raping me. He constantly messed around with me, beat me and treated me like his slave. Right before he got out, he said he was going to get a box of condoms snuck in by his buddy so he could fuck me. The next man they put in was this asshole straight guy who got off on kicking my ass and calling me a faggot while he used my mouth. He didn't care how risky I told him it was. Neither did the next four guys. I did everything I could to please them so they wouldn't take my virginity. It was the one thing I fucking had left that hadn't been taken from me. I know it's fucking silly but... I felt like if I didn't go there, if I didn't give that to anyone that Alby wouldn't win. But he did. Because I lost everything."

"Not everything," Brian told him. "I've seen your sketches, Justin. You still have your amazing talent and no one could or can take that from you. I can't wait to see what you can do with a paintbrush."

Justin shrugged. "I'll never be able to sell my art, remember?"

"Once everything is paid off, we'll figure that out."

Justin spoke in a serious tone, "Brian, I'm a whore. You're so concerned with the image you're giving off to Mr. Lewis, what about what other people think when they find out who I am? I gave my virginity away so that I could learn how to be a prostitute; how classy is that? I've been fucked so many times, by so many different people in the last couple of years, I've lost count."

"I've probably fucked just as many if not more men than you have in the same amount of time. Do you think fucking as a means for fucking fun or just for escape is any better than fucking to survive?"

"Escaping is survival," Justin whispered, cocking his head and looking right at Brian. "You know that?"

Brian knew it was a question, but he didn't need to answer. "I know that any stress I have in my life I usually resolve with sex. I don't think it's wrong, even if others do. I don't regret my actions and I probably won't ever change. People do what they have to do to live. But it doesn't mean that's all they are. Do you think a fucking teenager working at a fast food place is defined by their job?"

"I know they aren't, Brian. But you don't understand. When I fuck for money, no matter how I try to get away from the act, it still hurts," he admitted. "My job took over my life."

"Then you don't have to fucking do it anymore," Brian told him. "This is your opportunity to take your life back. You can have everything you want, Justin. You can leave the hurt here. As for me marrying a person who used to be a hustler, no one is going to know that unless you tell them. There's no reason to tell anyone anything about that. If they do find out, I could care less, Justin. I fucking hired you, didn't I? This marriage doesn't have anything to do with our pasts. It will be a business arrangement to better both of our futures."

"Yeah, but leaving here means going back to Pittsburgh. Having to go there is..."

"It's better than staying here," Brian interrupted. "It's better than doing what you're doing, it's better than prison. That's where you really will lose yourself; that really will take over your life."

"You're right and I don't want that." Justin turned his body to face Brian and nodded. "If this is a business deal, then we have to discuss terms."

Brian gave Justin a small, relieved smile. "We get married and after the Lewis Enterprise contracts are signed we can get an amicable divorce. We'll act as though the spark died and that we're going to remain friends. In the meantime, you can do what you want."

"I want to go back to school," Justin spoke adamantly. "I also want to get a real job."

"You can focus on getting back into school, Justin. You don't actually need to get a job."

"I'm not going to take any money from you that I don't have to, Brian. I want to be able to pay for the things that I need."

"Whatever," Brian laughed, "but if I were you, I'd relax for a while, focus on your art and not worry about getting a job until we divorce. I have more than enough money to pay for what you need and to be fair, I will be making a shitload of money because of this arrangement; so you should probably profit from it while you can."

"You may be right, but I want to get a job and not just to support myself. I want to save money so that I can give some back to my parents."

"You can take the money you'll get in the settlement," Brian suggested.

"What settlement?"

"The divorce settlement."

"I told you, I don't want your money. I'm not entering into this business relationship as a whore."

"I know. But believe me, after living with me for however long it takes to bring the campaign together, you're probably going to want some kind of severance."

Justin quirked one eyebrow up and shivered. "So, you're hard to live with?"

Brian burst out laughing. "That's an understatement."

Justin gave Brian a frightened expression. "You're not like some freak or something are you?"

"A clean freak," Brian replied.

"Well I figured that," Justin said. "You ask the maids to fix our room every time we leave it."

Brian shrugged and gestured around them. "I like a minimalist look."

Justin put his hands over his face. "This is going to be bad," he groaned.

Brian snickered, "It won't be so bad. I'm just preparing you."

Justin removed his hands away from his face. "What about your family?" he gasped. "Are you going to tell them the truth?"

"Not exactly. I'm going to freak them out, no matter what. So I'll get them all here for the wedding next week, then I'll...."

"Whoa! Next week!" Justin yelled. "There's no fucking way we're going to do this next week!"

"You're the one that told Lewis we were getting married on your birthday," Brian said.

"But weddings, even fake ones, take planning!"

"I tried to get out of it," Brian groaned. "I told Randall that we were going to get married in a Church on 5th street..."

"The one we saw on the news, Brian! Their roof and pipes... Oh, no. Don't tell me he's going to personally send a crew down there to..."

"No," Brian stopped him, laughing. "He's offered us the use of a banquet room, a wedding coordinator and he's offered to fly up any family or friends we want here."

"Why do you seem so calm about this?" Justin asked worriedly.

"I'm not calm. I mean, my friends are going to freak the fuck out. Plus, I'm going to have to stay here this week and that's going to cause my agency some major grief."

"What are you going to tell them? We're going to have to get our stories straight."

"They'll never believe that I've suddenly found love," Brian said. "They know me better than that."

Justin laughed. "That's so sad."

"Well, they've all got their ‘significant others'. That being said, they also never tire of telling me that I need to stop fucking around and grow up. So if I've suddenly met my ‘one true love," Brian made a gagging noise, "then they'll all be so thrown that they'll think I've gone crazy, or that all their dreams for me have come true."

Justin giggled and asked, "Why don't you just tell them the truth?"

"Because they all talk too much and if they come to the wedding, I can't risk them saying anything to Randall. I'll probably tell them the truth once we get back home." Brian laughed as he thought about how funny it would be to fuck with them.

"They'll be pissed," Justin said. "They'll hate us."

"No, they won't. They'll get over it. Especially when we buy them all some wonderful thank you gifts."

"That seems so wrong," Justin said. "I don't want to lie to your friends, Brian. Can't you just tell them the truth; tell them that you'll buy them thank you gifts if they keep it quiet?"

"I guess we could try. I did tell Randall that you hadn't met them yet, that I was afraid they'd run you off."

"So they won't have to act like they know me. How many of your family and friends do you plan to invite?"

"Just my friends and Gus. Gus is the only biological family that is in my life. My Dad's dead and my mother and sister are Christian fanatics that I only see once or twice a year, and that's too much."

"So how many friends then?" Justin asked.

"My best friend Mikey, his husband Ben and their foster son, Hunter. Debbie, who is Mikey's mother and like a mother to me, she'll probably be smitten with you," Brian said, smiling as he pictured what her reaction would be to Justin. "Her boyfriend Carl, Emmett, his boyfriend Drew, Ted, his boyfriend Blake and...."

"Ted," Justin queried, "he's the one who works for you?"

"Yeah," Brian replied. "We were friends before he worked for me though. He used to be a nasty crystal queen but he got himself out of it and somehow he went from only being Kinnetik's accountant to also being an ad man."

Justin laughed. "He's the one you were screaming about to Cynthia, right?"

"Yeah," Brian shrugged. "She'll kill me if I don't invite her too," he sighed.

"Ted, is he your close friend?" Justin asked appalled.

Brian laughed. "You'll understand when you meet him. My friends, they are my family, Justin. We're just the same as any other dysfunctional-functional family." 

"So, no one else?" Justin asked.

"Well, I didn't mention Lindsay and Melanie, Gus' mothers; they'll probably come and bring my son too."

"Does Randall realize that he's giving us a banquet hall for a dozen people?" Justin asked.

"I told him it was going to be a small wedding," Brian replied. "I told him that originally we were only going to have two witnesses. Besides, aren't there people you want to invite?"

"No," Justin said quickly.

"No friends?" Brian asked.

"Nope. Not one."

"Well, then I guess you'll just have to discuss the details tomorrow with the coordinator. I'll call Cynthia and Debbie tomorrow and give them the ‘good' news."

"What about everyone else?" Justin asked. "You're not going to call them too?"

"Nah," Brian laughed, "I'll leave it up to Debbie. Once I tell her, she'll probably make a mandatory ziti dinner night and rally the troops."

"It'll be that easy?" Justin wondered doubtfully.

Brian pursed his lips and shook his head. "No. After I explain to her the situation. She will first tell me what a sham I'm making of marriage. She'll definitely bitch at me about how horrible I am for taking advantage of the rights she fought for us to have, among other ethical and moral rants. She'll then proceed to find out everything about you; of course, I will be completely discreet and give her as little information as possible but just enough to satisfy her. We'll then move on to her guilt for considering going along with the lies. Then she'll beg me to find another option. After I assure her that there isn't any other option and remind her that I worked my ass off for my agency, my reputation and the money will be used to help support her grandson, she begrudgingly will accept the situation, turn cheek and ask what she can do to help."

Justin's mouth hung open. "She sounds crazy, and you are a manipulative asshole!"

Brian grinned and laughed. "Oh, yeah. I forgot that. She'll definitely call me that."

"You consider her a mother!" Justin gasped, hanging his mouth open again as his eyes widened in horror.

"When she says asshole it usually means ‘I love you'; she just knows that I'm not fond of that phrase," Brian explained.

"So, if she's nice to me, she hates me?" Justin asked slowly, trying to absorb what he was getting himself into.

Brian playfully petted Justin's hands. "You really have nothing to worry about. They'll all be so busy with insulting me, that they'll be fawning over you."

Justin tore his hands away from Brian and rubbed his eyes. "I'm getting tired. This is all too fucking much for me to take in right now. Plus, we should really get out of our tuxes before they wrinkle."

"Yeah," Brian agreed standing up to follow Justin into the bedroom. "I'll have the hotel dry-clean these so we can wear them when we get married."

Justin bent to untie his shoes and Brian had to run his hand over the blond's ass. All the talking they'd done had his body begging for the exciting stimulation he knew Justin could provide. "I can't wait to fuck you," he groaned, rubbing his crotch against Justin's ass, as the younger man toed off his shoes and socks.

Justin spun around and put his hands on his hips. "Sorry that's not going to happen."

Brian stepped away from Justin and began to discard his own clothing. He wasn't worried. Every single time Justin protested about being fucked, they managed a way to ease the tenderness in his ass and soon the blond became an eager bottom.

Once Justin was undressed to his briefs, he hung his tuxedo up and crawled into the bed.

Brian grabbed a condom and the lube from the nightstand once he was completely naked and crawled in beside Justin.

"Is that condom for me?" Justin asked while he yawned. "Because I don't know if I could fuck you right now, Brian. I'm really tired." He closed his eyes and turned away from the older man, snuggling deeper into the covers.

Brian stared at Justin quizzically. He wasn't sure if the blond was serious. Not only because he actually thought that Brian would allow him to fuck him, but also because, who in God's name would be too tired to fuck him? It was mind boggling to Brian. "Uhm.... This condom is for my dick," Brian explained slowly.

Justin turned toward Brian and cracked open his eyes. "Do you have some sort of latex fetish?"

"What?" Brian laughed.

"Do you enjoy jerking off into a condom or something?" Justin mumbled.

"No, I enjoy fucking your ass while wearing a condom."

"I'm going to sleep," Justin replied in irritation.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Brian gasped. "We're going to fuck."

Justin bolted upright and glared at Brian. "I am going to sleep. When I wake up, if you'd like me to fuck you, I will. But fucking is not part of our business deal. So, if you want to fuck me, things are going to be equal and since I'm not getting paid for any of the times you've been in my ass today, you have to bottom for me three times before you fuck me again."

Brian jumped out of the bed. "That isn't ever going to happen!"

"Well, too bad," Justin hissed. "I can go without sex for as long as this little charade lasts. I don't give a fuck. But I will not be your fuck toy, Brian!"

"Justin," Brian growled, "it's not like you're a top."

"How in the fuck would you know?"

"Come on," Brian laughed out. "There's no way."

"The only fucking reason I bottomed for anyone was because I had to, Brian!"

"What about today?" Brian asked. "I didn't force you! I didn't pay you."

"That's because I wanted to," Justin said. "I don't want to now. I want to fuck you the next time we fuck."

"That's not going to fucking happen, so just get that out of your head. I don't bottom for anyone!" Brian growled.

"Right, then why exactly did you ask for that from the agency? You wanted a big cock in case you were in the mood to be fucked! I have a big dick, in case you haven't noticed."

Brian paced in front of the bed. "Oh I've noticed, you are a big dick." He knew the remark was childish but that didn't stop him from storming out of the room, kicking a gift bag he nearly tripped over into living room and slamming the bedroom door behind him.

Justin laughed to himself, settling into the comfortable bed, and quickly fell asleep.

*****


Brian wasn't so easily calmed. He grabbed the bottle of Jim Beam and started drinking, pacing back and forth and wondering how in the fuck he'd allowed the blond the little loophole. Sure, he could get anonymous ass, but he wanted to fuck, now!

Brian looked down at himself and stroked his erection. His eyes caught the red gift bag he'd kicked into the living area and he saw a few of the contents peeking out from between the rumpled white and red sparkled tissue paper.

Brian was more than surprised when he read the card inside and took out the small items. He read the words inside the card three times before he forced himself to put everything back in the bag and walked into the bedroom.

He wasn't sure if Justin was faking sleep or not. He cleared his throat before asking, "Justin, are you awake?"

Receiving no answer, Brian walked closer to the bed and watched Justin sleeping. The blond was beautiful. There it was, that word, beautiful. This was the second time in a day that Brian had used that word to describe Justin. He hadn't even been aware that it was in his repertoire, but now he was thinking it, using it, as though Justin were the definition of it.

Justin was just a boy. A young man, fucked over by everyone he knew. He had been taken advantage of, dragged through hell, yet here he was. Sleeping peacefully, beautifully in Brian's bed. Technically, it was the hotel's bed, but Justin could have chosen to storm into the room on the other side of the suite, but he sought refuge in their room, knowing that at some point Brian would climb into bed beside him.

Services rendered. Brian was less than fond of the ache that slithered around in his gut as he recalled saying what he had to Justin.

Justin wasn't his whore, he'd stopped referring to him as such...well, Brian wasn't sure when. But, he wouldn't do it again. Justin wasn't a slut, if anyone deserved that title it was him, he knew that. Justin was a beautiful kid that took a beating and still kept going, kept surviving, even if the odds were that he would likely die in prison.

An urgent need, derived from guilt, empathy and unexplainable idioms engulfed Brian. He felt confused, yet sure and confident, but had no idea what those feelings exactly related to.

He sat down beside Justin slowly; the expensive mattress barely moved with his weight. He had decided exactly how he wanted to wake the artist. His hand shook as he reached out, though he denied its apparent movement as he pulled the comforter and sheet down Justin's body. Bit by bit he tugged the soft comforter down, allowing the boy to get used to the air in the room cooling his skin, resulting in him remaining asleep when Brian finally fully exposed his naked body.

Justin rested on his side, his back facing Brian's side of the bed, one of his legs bent upward, his knee pressing against his stomach, hiding his penis from view. Amazingly enough, Brian's eyes were taking in more than just the blond's crotch and ass.

Brian didn't know it, but he gazed tenderly at every part of Justin. The drapes to the cityscape were closed, but there was a small slit between the two panels, bathing a faint strip of the snow's light across Justin's chest.

The brunet's mouth watered; his instincts were jealous, wanting to kiss and taste where the glow painted Justin's skin and swirl his tongue around his nipple where the stroke ended. But he had decided upon how he wanted to wake Justin, it would be from his mouth's action, but it would take place elsewhere.

Brian idly wondered how it was that the blond could fall asleep so quickly, be asleep so deeply, within a matter of minutes. It took him at least an hour to fall asleep if he was unfortunate enough not to have had an orgasm or a dozen drinks before hand. Justin seemed as horny and as filled with stamina as he was, but he slept as though he was exhausted, even after a day of leisure.

He doesn't have anywhere safe to sleep but here. The thought rambled through Brian's head as though it was Justin that had spoken it to him. However, Brian knew next to nothing about where exactly Justin lived. He too had failed to see the address on his I.D. and he realized with those revelations too, that he knew very little about who Justin Taylor was now, besides the obvious. Brian knew of Justin's past but he didn't know any of the basic things, little things.

Brian wanted to know. He had to know, to find out about all the little things. He had no idea why he needed the answers to the thousands of tiny, almost meaningless questions running through his brain that he never cared to ask anyone else before, but he did care. He couldn't stop wanting something, needing more from Justin.

Aggravated with himself, Brian turned away from Justin for a moment and looked back at him again, newly determined not to allow his frustrations to dictate his next move. He cupped Justin's raised knee and carefully pushed it up, revealing the pink cock that he'd neglected much more than he should have.

Justin let out a deep breath and turned away from the touch.

Brian stayed still, watching Justin to see if he was waking up. When he decided that Justin was still asleep, he stood up beside the bed and began to undress. Brian kept his eyes on the blond who now lay on his back, his legs bent and spread, innocently yet proactively, unknowingly beckoning Brian to him.

Brian grabbed a condom and the bottle of lube and placed them on the bed beside his pillow. He slowly crawled onto the bed, knelt beside Justin and bent his head toward the boy's crotch.

Justin felt a tickling warmth around his groin, gently luring him out of sleep. 

Brian licked the crown of Justin's soft cock, breathing in the smell of the blond's groin as his lips closed around the cockhead and slid down, taking the stiffening cock back into his throat.

Justin's eyes were only half open and he was still drowsy from sleep, but his cock fully awoke the moment he realized what was going on. "What are you doing?" he whispered rhetorically.

Brian tilted his face up, sliding Justin's dick out of his mouth and squeezing the hard length in his hand. He grinned slyly. "Knocking one off your tally chart," he replied and went back to sucking on the cock in his hand.

"Oh..." Justin gasped, arching his hips up to get more of his dick in Brian's mouth. "Okay."

Brian chuckled around Justin's prick and went to work, intent upon giving the blond the greatest blowjob he'd ever given anyone.

Justin's come was practically premature. There was nothing he could do to stop himself from coming, and the will he normally had to hold off his orgasms was hindered by his sleepy state. He would've laughed at himself, but his body felt like it was floating and he couldn't muster up the energy to say anything. He didn't even think that he'd let out a sound when he shot into Brian's throat.

Brian licked his lips, slid his body up against Justin's, and began kissing his neck. "You owe me a rim job," he whispered, licking up to Justin's ear. 

"What?" Justin asked, completely confused and his mind scrambled from coming down from his orgasm.

He hiked his leg up and draped it over the blond's waist, then took Justin's right hand and forced the man to cup his ass.

Justin squeezed Brian's butt cheek and the dirty words the brunet was whispering to him began to click in his head. Brian's ass is in my hand. Brian's perfectly sculpted ass. Brian wants me to rim him. My tongue will be in Brian's ass. Justin's thoughts made his own asshole twitch in need to get the same attention from Brian.

Brian yelped in surprise as Justin sprung up on the bed and rolled them both over.

Justin took Brian's bottom lip in between his teeth and playfully chewed on it as he rubbed his crotch against Brian's, feeling the man's pre-come wet their dicks. "You... you want me to rim you?" he breathed the question, snaking one of his hands between them and under Brian's balls.

Brian shivered as the tip of Justin's finger came in contact with his hole. He pushed Justin back so the boy knelt between his spread legs. He smirked when he saw a disappointed expression cross over the blond's face. He laughed teasingly and rolled onto his stomach in answer.

Justin wasted no time; he immediately spread Brian's cheeks and licked back and forth on each one, feeling powerful as he heard Brian's gasps and moans. His open mouth sucked on Brian's entrance eagerly, tasting the core of the brunet and renewing his erection. He hardened his tongue and pushed inside Brian, feeling resistance at first pushing him out.

Brian stopped bracing himself on his elbows and dropped his torso down onto the mattress, pushing his ass up toward Justin's persistent tongue. He was a slut for a rim job and like everything else in bed, Justin seemed to be an expert at giving them. Finally, he was able to relax himself enough to allow Justin's tongue to swath inside his body, over and over and over again.

"How do you want to come?" Justin asked, resting his chin on Brian's coccyx.

Brian almost said, ‘Like this', but he wrangled enough sense to speak what he'd never asked for in his life. "I want you to fuck me."

Justin jerked away from Brian's ass. He wasn't sure, if Brian truly was giving in to his demands or if he truly wanted it. He'd practically given in and had been thinking about Brian fucking him almost the entire time he ate Brian's ass. "You want me to fuck you?" he asked for clarification.

Brian turned around and sat up swiftly. He grabbed Justin and kissed the blond desperately, maneuvering Justin to lie on his back. 

Justin was torn between being disappointed that he wasn't going to fuck Brian and being delighted that his ‘demands for equality' hadn't resulted in Brian never fucking him again. He smiled at Brian as the man grabbed the condom and lube on the bed and spread his legs.

Brian was pleased to know that even though Justin had insisted they ‘even up the score', that he was obviously still willing to let Brian fuck him. The knowledge made it much easier to roll the latex onto Justin's cock instead of is own.

"Like this?" Justin asked, reaching down and touching his condom-covered erection as though to make sure what he was about to do was real.

"I've never done it... like this," Brian replied, turning away from Justin as he squirted slick onto his fingers. He was embarrassed at the admission but the desire for what was to come was much stronger. He really wanted it and that knowledge terrified and thrilled him all at once.

Justin rubbed his fingers in the lube as Brian straddled his hips while coating his sheathed cock in the substance. "Me neither," he replied moments later.

Brian leaned forward and allowed his body to open for Justin as the blond's sticky fingers danced over his asshole, gliding lube around it. He slowly kissed the man under him as one finger slid inside his body to wet him, stretching and readying him to take Justin's cock.

Justin pulled his finger from Brian's heat and grasped onto his dick as Brian rose and rested his ass over his cock. He wrapped his other hand around Brian's hip and urged him, "Go on."

Brian swore that it was the unusual position of his legs that caused his body to vibrate when the head of the blond's prick touched his hole. It wasn't Justin's eyes staring at him and it wasn't the anticipation. He was a top; he'd been fucked with cock before, once. It was years ago, a lifetime ago, and the experience was nearly forgotten, yet subconsciously so strong in the present that it was a constant easy reminder as to the reason why he remained a top. The ‘little itch' he wanted scratched was often soothed from men he paid to play with. Using sex toys with them and a few occasional tricks was perceived more as kink and less about Brian satisfying a need.

The sting of penetration made Brian's eyes snap open. Justin kept his eyes on Brian's face, watching his eyes get wider the more of him he took inside. Justin took his hand away from his cock when there was only a little space left between the base of his cock and Brian's ass cheeks. He ran his hands up Brian's chest, his fingers grazed the brunet's nipples, and then, the man took him all the way inside his silky tightness. 

"Fuuuck!" Brian gasped, dropping forward so his hands rested just under Justin's armpits. He gnashed his teeth and breathed in and out, in and out, taking in the unexpected and forgotten fullness of Justin's thick, hard prick.

Brian was hot. He was hot inside and when Justin lifted his hips, grinding his dick deeper into Brian's hole, he silently thanked Brian for getting him off prior to them fucking. There was no way in hell he could possibly have held off from shooting at that moment if he hadn't, it was hard enough as it was. He wanted more; he grabbed Brian's face between his hands and forced their mouths to connect.

Brian began to move quickly, fighting off the pain by creating quick pleasure for them both. He'd thought that in this position it would be like he was topping while bottoming, but it wasn't. He wasn't in control at all, not really. Justin expertly swiveled his hips up and down, grabbed his ass cheeks and moved him around in the direction he chose. Brian allowed it, didn't mind it, not one bit; he welcomed it. 

Brian never thought it could be so enticing, so sexy to have someone want him and react to his own pleasure in the way that Justin was. Every time he moaned, Justin's blue eyes seemed to get darker and his mouth emitted sounds and he repeated whatever move he'd made that made Brian moan in the first place. Justin knew how to fuck, lying on his back; he'd known it when he was inside of him and he felt the knowledge deeper now that Justin was inside him.

Justin was sweating hard and he wanted so badly to come, but he wanted the sex they had to never end. It was the best sex he'd ever had in his life. He never knew that being inside someone could feel so gratifying. He wondered how it was possible that having sex could be so pleasurable and how he could feel so insatiable for something, he'd done countless times.

Brian stopped riding Justin and concentrated on swiveling his hips while he jacked his cock with quick jerks. One pass, two grinds against his prostate and the pressure began to release. He aimed his come to the right, hitting the top of Justin's left pec, then again a little lower, coating the boy's nipple in his thick seed.

Justin came the moment Brian's come hit his chest. He had managed to hold off, to watch Brian shake and whimper...fucking whimper when the first shake hit him. After that, he was incapable of controlling anything more than grabbing Brian and kissing him so hard their teeth gnashed together painfully. Neither man cared; they just kept kissing, urgently tasting one another's mouths desperately.

Brian brought their fevered kiss to a slow luxurious one, snaking his hand in between them and lazily drew one finger through his come on Justin's chest. He leaned back, and looked down at his brand and back up at Justin's face. "Happy Valentines Day," he chuckled.

Justin looked down at himself and the tiny city light haloed around the heart drawn right above his own. He smiled at Brian and laughed with the man, feeling ridiculous but also, feeling new.

 

Chapter 9 - The Cost by galeandrandy

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less. ~ Brendon Francis

*****

 

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

The snow had stopped falling yesterday afternoon, the weather had since warmed to forty-one degrees and the city of Chicago did what Justin referred to as, ‘Magic Melting and Moving'; resulting in the snow being nearly completely cleared from the streets and sidewalks overnight. Brian wanted to put a call in to Mayor Deekins and tell him that the city of Pittsburgh needed to take some cues from Mayor Daley on how to manage a snowstorm appropriately. 

Last night, after fucking Justin and passing out minutes after, Brian awoke to use the bathroom. After he pissed, he peeked out their frosty window before climbing back in with the warm, sleeping blond. The snow still covered everything; it glistened in the streetlights and the city looked quiet and peaceful. The weatherman had predicted a rise in temperature overnight, a whole seven degrees, but Brian hadn't noticed any melting, plowing or salting at that point. 

Even with the temperature rising, he never thought that he would wake up and actually be able to drive anywhere, let alone walk down the sidewalks. The air smelled cold, the salt sparkled like glitter on Babylon's dance floor, coating the streets and sidewalks, crunching underneath their shoes as they walked. Though the temperature was still extremely cold, the wind for once barely blew and the sun shone brightly, nearly warming the chill on his exposed face.

When Justin had told Brian that they would need to park his rental car in a parking garage seven blocks from his apartment building, Brian almost asked Justin why, but deep down he knew the answer. As they exited the vehicle and started their trek out of the structure, he told himself that he had to leave the car there because there was no parking near where Justin lived. The first two blocks West, Brian thought that perhaps there was truth to his veiled assessment. One block South and Brian knew exactly why Justin didn't want to take the car all the way to his apartment.

He tried, he really, really tried not to show his absolute disgust and the little bit of fear that bit at his nerves, but he didn't do a good enough job. Justin was extremely observant, and where it concerned him he was even more so.

"This is actually nicer than where I live," Justin mumbled to Brian, drawing his scarf tighter around his neck.

Brian didn't notice the cold; there was so much more to be aware of as they continued to weave through sidewalks and trash-filled still icy alleyways. He was surprised, if that's the right word, to see the obscene amount of poverty that surrounded them. Many times Brian had been to Boystown, but he'd never been where he and Justin were. The more they walked, the worse it got. The weather didn't keep anyone inside and he knew that he and Justin stood out like sore thumbs in their designer apparel. They were walking targets for a mugging and when Justin pointed out his apartment building, Brian had to force himself to walk inside with him.

He'd lived in some shitty places when he was just starting out at Ryder, but none of them could hold a cock to the roost Justin called home. The front foyer smelled like a mix between liquor and dirty diapers. Brian finally let out a semi-relieved breath when he saw Justin re-locking the four locks on the large wooden front door.

Justin grabbed Brian's hand and pulled him up the stairs toward his apartment on the top floor. "Be quiet," he whispered, "my neighbors go crazy if people are loud in the hall."

Brian leaned away from the rusting, paint-chipped, disease-infested metal railing beside him. He had lost all dignity four blocks back and didn't care that he was holding onto Justin's hand tighter than any man should. The flights of stairs seemed to go on forever and the only good thing about Justin living on the top floor was that it got warmer the further they climbed.

"You don't have to be quiet now," Justin said, releasing Brian's hand and taking his key ring out of his coat pocket once again. "I'm the only one on this floor for now, just don't stomp your feet."

Brian didn't exactly feel like talking, so he just nodded and followed Justin down the hall to the end. They reached a rusting metal door and Brian smiled to himself, amused at how much it looked like the one for his place.

"What?" Justin asked, noticing Brian's grin.

"I practically have the same door for my loft," Brian explained.

"Just not with the six locks," Justin assessed and laughed as he slid his door open.

"And different décor inside," Brian couldn't help but add as they walked into the small space.

"I'm sure," Justin laughed, closing and locking the door after Brian. "By the way, don't bother taking your coat off."

"I wasn't planning on it," Brian answered, looking around the stale space.

"I'm going to use the bathroom and then we can get started. It shouldn't take long," he promised Brian. "I really only have to get a few things."

Brian shrugged and looked around the room that doubled as a half-kitchen, half-living area. The hallway outside of his house looked bigger and cleaner. He could tell that Justin had done the best he could with what he had, but Brian couldn't imagine even touching the rusty, dripping faucet. There was a plaid couch whose seats were covered with an old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles blanket sitting almost against the wall across from the kitchen, and a small coffee table that was much too large in scale for the sinking couch was placed in front with a table lamp sitting in the middle of it.

There weren't drapes covering the two large floor-to-ceiling windows; instead there were four blankets, two sewn together on each end and what looked like staples holding them onto the wall at the top. The blankets were so thin they did little to hide the light coming in; he wondered if this was Justin's way of hiding from the world that he lived in, at least for a little while.

"You wanna help me?" Justin yelled, not bothering to flush the toilet before coming out of the bathroom. Usually he had to stick his hand in the back of the water tank and pull the chain because the latch had broken, but since he was never coming back to his apartment and he wasn't going to bother his landlord about his two-hundred dollar security deposit, he didn't really care.

"Sure," Brian said, walking a few feet into the tiny hallway and following Justin into a room on the right.

Justin's bedroom looked much nicer than the rest of the apartment, though the window ‘drapes' style followed in kind. His bed was a tiny twin that he was positive felt as uncomfortable as it looked, even with the ten blankets Justin had covering the thing.

Justin grabbed a large backpack and an army duffle from under his bed. He handed Brian the backpack and directed him, "Can you get everything out of the nightstand drawer and put it in there? I'm gonna get the stuff from my dresser."

"Sure," Brian said, taking the black backpack. He took a chance and sat on the lumpy bed, unzipping the bag and pulling on the broken hinge of the wooden drawer. All he saw inside were sketchbooks, pens, pencils, erasers and crayons. Everything was neatly stacked and arranged to fit perfectly in the small drawer. He started with the small stuff first and put them into the front zipper compartment and then began adding the spiral sketchpads to the larger part of the bag.

Justin had packed his three large sketch pads that he kept at the bottom of the largest drawer into the bag first. Then he began to go through his clothing. Everything he owned now, not counting his sleepwear, was bought for the sole purpose of entertaining men. It sickened him to see how deep he'd entrenched himself into prostituting his body. He'd believed that it wasn't affecting him, pretended that it was all an act, but it wasn't.

He, Justin Mathew Taylor, had picked out the shiny black pleather boy shorts, the pleather vest and feather/pleather paddle that was tucked on the inside pocket of the vest. He remembered that after two particularly good nights, his boss had suggested he buy clothing that was more erotic and his pay would get better because he would give Justin ‘better' men, and it did.

He showed off his ‘leather' outfit and was immediately booked with an old guy who loved to pretend to be a leather Daddy. Justin liked the outfit, it was a costume for him to hide in, and from then on, Justin bought a new slutty outfit every week.

His customers didn't always want a ‘scene', but being the favorite to be booked in case someone did was a plus. Justin had shown up at Brian's hotel room in the most normal clothing he wore to meet men. He did this partly because he'd been to the hotel previously and knew what he could and couldn't get away with, and also because Brian was a last-minute call he'd gotten seconds after finishing his last ‘date'.

Justin had ditched the ‘sailor boy' costume he'd worn for his last trick in the man's hotel room and put on his street clothes intending on going home when the call came. Justin couldn't believe how close he was to not answering the call that night. But he knew that Luke was working as ‘secretary' and wouldn't call him unless it was for a decent amount of time and money.

"Do you need help?" Brian asked Justin after he finished packing the backpack. He noticed that Justin had barely moved in the last few minutes, but he didn't want to interfere with his emotions or, god forbid, deal with any trepidation the blond might be having.

Justin threw the clothing into the drawer and slammed it closed. "No. I... I don't need anything else here."

Brian looked at the bag Justin was slinging around his shoulder and raised one eyebrow at the younger man. "You hardly have anything in there," he observed.

Justin shrugged and took Brian's leather gloved hand in his own once again. It was the only kind of leather he wanted to be in contact with again. They were real leather gloves; they didn't smell like cheap sex. They had a rich musky smell to them and though he didn't want to take Brian's money, he would have to ask the man to splurge and buy him some when they got back to the hotel.

Brian followed Justin, feeling confused as to why the artist was leaving what little possessions he had. "Are you okay?"

Justin nodded at Brian and dropped his hand to unlock the door. "I'm great!" he affirmed.

"But you're leaving all your clothes, Justin," Brian protested in horror.

"I'm going to be Justin Kinney," the blond said quietly. "I like the clothes you bought me, Brian," he spoke a little louder and slid open the door. "I'm not... I'm not a whore, and that's what all that stuff was. It's costumes and slutty clothes that made me look like a hot little hustler boy."

Brian had never discussed Justin taking his last name, but as he brushed past him and walked into the hall, he repeated the name over and over again in his head. Justin Kinney, Justin Kinney, Justin Kinney. Brian didn't mind it, and though it was once a last name he wasn't proud of, he'd changed that idea now and his son carried the name too. Kinney was a name to respect and Justin had earned this the first night he met him.

"Goodbye and good riddance," Justin said, closing the door and locking it back up. He turned on his heels, the keys jingled in his hands as he walked over to a mail slot, his steps quick and light. He threw the keys into the box, smiled over his shoulder at Brian, and announced, "Done!"

Brian gave him a long look right into his blue eyes and grinned back at the blond. He saw something he hadn't ever seen in Justin's eyes before, something he didn't think he'd ever seen in his own, it was unmistakable - hope.

Brian didn't exactly know what to say to Justin, especially because it felt like there was a frog in his throat. So he just shouldered the backpack closer and pulled the boy against him, hugging him tightly from behind and kissing the lobe of his cold ear, allowing his breath to warm Justin's skin.

Justin turned around in Brian's arms and giggled triumphantly. He was terrified of what lay ahead for him in Pittsburgh, apprehensive about how exactly he and Brian would survive a marriage and divorce, but happiness trumped all the worries at the moment. He stood on his tiptoes, carded his mitten-covered hands under Brian's sock-hat and pulled the man toward his lips.

Brian opened his mouth for Justin and surrendered to the boy's searching tongue and undeniable need for dominance. He crushed the blond as close to his body as he could get him, placing his leg in between Justin's thighs, moaning his appreciation when he felt Justin's hard dick pressing and rubbing against him.

He didn't close his eyes, though Justin had; he watched and allowed the blond to use him for gratification. The cold, the smelly hall and dirty walls disappeared from his line of sight as well as his line of thinking. Brian kept on kissing, supporting Justin through the sudden outburst of happiness, lust, excitement and then relief; the relief that crashed into him from Justin's quaking body, throaty moan and absolute freedom.

Justin cried afterwards, or it might've been before or during his orgasm, he really didn't know. He momentarily felt embarrassed when he heard his huffing breaths and whimpers echoing in the hall, but Brian never tried to move away from him. Brian stayed still, holding him so close until he calmed; Justin never felt foolish.

Justin straightened himself and hesitantly stepped away from Brian and picked up the army duffle he'd dropped beside him at some point. His mittens absorbed his tears as he quickly wiped them away before they froze to his face. He didn't care that he'd just came in his pants like some kind of kid and Brian didn't seem to care either. In fact, Brian didn't press him about his emotions; he didn't look at Justin any differently than he had when they first started kissing. He just nodded at him and gestured for him to walk in front of him and that was that.

They weren't uncomfortable in the silence that accompanied them down the flights of stairs, through the alley and along the street. Neither man was thinking or trying not to think about Justin's emotional overload. Brian was glad that Justin wasn't sniffling and apologizing for it and Justin was thrilled that Brian wasn't asking questions or checking to make sure, he was all right.

"The car made it," Brian observed, breaking the silence as they found the rental vehicle.

Justin opened the back passenger door and threw his duffle in while Brian did the same with the backpack. "It's not like you would've had to pay for it if it got stolen, you had insurance, but I figured it'd be safer here than..."

Brian kissed Justin soundly to shut the boy up, walked around to the driver's side, and got in. "Come on," he hollered, starting the car and blasting the heat.

Justin quickly jumped in and buckled himself. "So," he said, rubbing his hands together in front of the heater, "where to now?"

Brian looked at the clock on the dashboard. "We both have to meet with that fucking wedding coordinator for dinner, right?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah, at seven o'clock and you're not going to try and get out of it."

Brian laughed at the blond as he backed out of the parking space and began to drive. "I wasn't," he protested. "It's two now," he said, "and I'm hungry."

Justin was surprised to hear Brian actually say such a thing. The man ate so little that Justin wondered how in the hell the man was able to keep up his stamina on so few calories. "I could eat," he answered.

"Is there one restaurant you've always wanted to eat at that no one's ever taken you to before?"

Justin nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, yeah!"

"What's it called?" Brian asked hesitantly.

"Weiner's Circle," Justin laughed as he spoke the name.

"Oh nooooooo...." Brian groaned as they got to the lowest level of the parking garage. 

"You said anywhere," Justin pouted, crossing his arms dramatically and pushing his bottom lip out.

"Put it into the GPS," Brian relented. "And it better be fucking good."

"Oh, it will be, Brian." Justin found the name on the GPS and quickly pushed the ‘go' button. "I hear this place is the fucking shit!"

Brian looked at Justin skeptically but followed the navigator's direction and made a right.

*****



"Are you really not going to talk to me, Brian?" Justin whispered as he massaged Brian's shoulders.

Brian shrugged and continued to read his newspaper.

"I didn't think they'd actually do it during the day," Justin said truthfully.

Brian glared up at Justin for a moment and flipped to the next page.

"I really am sorry," Justin said, kneeling down and pushing his head under the newspaper so he could crawl between Brian's legs. "I'll give you a blowjob if that'll make you feel better," the blond suggested.

Brian hunkered down in his seat a little more and with a bored, put-upon sigh, he threw the newspaper to the side and unsnapped the top button of his jeans. "You owe me like a hundred blowjobs."

"I'll call it even," Justin replied. "Truce?"

Brian folded his arms behind his head and spread his legs wider. "We'll see, after I get this blowjob. Then you'll have to give me a vanilla shake with that ass."

Justin pulled the zipper of Brian's pants down and then yanked on both the jeans and underwear tugging them down. He grew frustrated when Brian wouldn't lift his hips to help him discard the pants. "Brian," he complained.

"Just take my dick out of my boxers," the older man said slowly. "I'm sure you can suck on it like that."

Justin sighed, "But the zipper will scrape agai..."

"TWO CHOCOLATE SHAKES!" Brian interrupted, pushing Justin backward onto his ass as he stood up, walked from the living area, and marched into the bedroom.

Taking him to Weiner's Circle was payback for yesterday, when Brian had made Justin believe for almost two hours that he'd told Debbie that he'd been seeing Justin all along and hadn't told them the truth. Worse yet, he'd said that the reason he didn't tell them the truth was because he wanted his family to believe that he found true love. He wanted his family to be happy, to be proud of him. Brian had said it all so convincingly that Justin couldn't be mad about him lying to them.

Justin had freaked out and started asking Brian all kinds of questions and developing a tale of love and devotion that sounded so ridiculous, it could quite possibly be true. Brian fed the flames and kept Justin talking, planning plan after deceitful plan, until finally he just started laughing like a mad man and told Justin the truth. At that point, Justin didn't know what to believe.

Brian was able to convince him that he really had told Debbie the truth and went on to confirm that the way he told Justin was exactly the way he had told Debbie. After Brian's meeting with Randall Lewis, he'd called Debbie and an hour after that Brian had talked to nearly every member of his family. He told the exact story, their story,' countless times, assuring them that yes, they would have free air fare and hotel accommodations and that yes, if they kept it quiet they would have another vacation coming to them.

Afterwards, Justin demanded that Brian pay for what he did with his ass. However, Brian was truthfully very sore from the previous night so Justin took pity on him and gave his ass the rest of the night off. He'd silently vowed that he would get payback some way or another and the opportunity presented itself perfectly with Wiener's Circle.

A black woman talking trash and cussing the most high-strung and meticulous man in the world had been hilarious; especially when Brian had asked to talk to the girl's manager. It got worse when the manager cussed Brian out and called him a straight man and Justin nearly pissed his pants when the owner said he could make it up to him if Brian would buy both him and Justin a chocolate shake.

Brian thought it was an odd way of making amends and desperately wanted to leave the restaurant when Justin spoke up and begged to stay and then he himself handed over the money for the chocolate shakes. Justin wished so badly that he could've gotten the entire thing on tape. It was by far the funniest thing he'd ever seen happen in his life and the most torturous for Brian, which of course made it all the better for him.

Justin knew that Brian wasn't as mad as he was letting on. The push was playful, a minor foray into foreplay. Justin felt extremely confused; he wouldn't have thought that ‘Justin's been a bad boy' could be a game that intrigued him. Every sexual experience before Brian was so far from his experiences with the brunet. Justin felt like everything new they did together was new to him even though he'd done so much more with other men. He even got the feeling that it was like that for Brian too, though he could never be sure.

Now, Justin desired the playful sex and wanted to know what it would be like to experiment with the brunet, but he felt uneasy about feeling so comfortable with Brian. He and Brian were on the verge of engaging in a fake marriage. Even if Justin managed to keep their arrangement strictly as a business deal, his life was going to change and he couldn't stop the friendship that was building between them.

Friendship? People don't fuck their friends. People don't kiss their friends the way they kissed one another. They definitely didn't ache to be fucked by their friend. Justin wondered what the outcome would be if he continued to fuck Brian. He suddenly had to stop, if he was going to make it through this marriage and come out of the divorce unscathed, not constantly wanting Brian; he would have to stop it all now.

Slowly he walked into the bedroom and bit his lip between his teeth when he saw Brian. The man lay on his back, his eyes closed as he lazily stroked his erection that curved up toward his belly. His jeans were unzipped and his sweater was pushed up above his belly button. The picture before him tempted Justin to forget his decision.

Brian heard Justin's heavy footsteps as he walked into the room. He abstained from showing any signs that he knew the blond was watching him. Brian waited for Justin to either speak or get in bed beside him. He waited...and waited....and waited.... What the fuck? Brian thought in aggravation. Could he get a better invitation to suck me off?

After waiting in silence for a few more agonizing minutes, Brian felt his cock begin to lose some of its girth and he could hardly control the steady glide of his hand around it. He didn't hear Justin leave the room, but he couldn't be sure so he opened his eyes. Justin was still there, standing in the doorway and staring at him with a painful expression. It was the last look Brian had expected to see on Justin's face.

A quick, unwanted flash of worry momentarily cracked through Brian's annoyance but he did not voice it. "What are you doing standing there like that? You look like you lost your pussy cat," he snarked and tucked his softening dick back into his pants.

"Shut up," Justin shot back. "We need to talk."

Brian rolled his eyes at Justin and whined, "Please tell me you did not just say that." He reluctantly sat up, put his head in his hands, and groaned dramatically, "We're not even married yet and already you want to talk. Don't you think we..."

"Brian, we have to stop fucking," Justin interrupted, placing his hands on his hips and giving the brunet a firm look.

Brian barked out a laugh and asked, "You're not serious, are you?"

Justin nodded. "I've been thinking about what it's going to be like when we're married and I think it will only complicate things...in the end."

"Things are already complicated," Brian admitted for the both of them. "As long as you don't start thinking that our fucking means anything more than just sex, there won't be any complications."

"Don't worry, Brian," Justin spat, "I wouldn't dream of thinking sex with you or anyone for that matter would ever be about more than just getting off." Justin knew he was lying a little bit, but now that he thought about it, the complications didn't stop at sex.

"Thank God," Brian answered in relief and grabbed his crotch. "Now can we get to the sex, please?"

"No," Justin said quickly, "we can't. I want you to promise me something, first."

Brian crawled to the end of the bed, reached out and grabbed Justin's wrist, pulling the man toward him. "I don't make promises easily, Justin."

Unable to stop himself, Justin carded his fingers through Brian's hair and played with the strands that touched his collar. "I didn't think you did," he whispered in reply.

Brian squeezed Justin's ass and brought the man's crotch toward him. He slid his hands down Justin's back, under his sweater and around to his stomach as he pushed it up. He placed small kisses on Justin's abs and murmured, "What do you want me to promise?"

The attention he was receiving from Brian's mouth nearly made Justin forget what he'd been talking about. It took him a minute to jar his short-term memory and by that time he began to recall it, Brian had unzipped his pants and was in search of his dick. "Brian," he said, placing his hand over the other man's and stopping his motion. "I want you to promise me that after we divorce that you'll still be my friend."

"We're friends?" Brian asked, slipping his hand out of Justin's boxers. He looked up at the blond and saw Justin frowning at him.

Justin pushed away from Brian, and angrily replied, "I guess not." He stormed off into the living area of the suite.

Brian shook his head and muttered to himself, "You're never going to get laid." He smirked when he realized that he didn't have to have Justin to get laid anymore. The city was no longer in lockdown.

*****



Justin wiped the whiskey off his lips and turned away from Brian when the man entered the room. A few minutes after he'd left him in the bedroom, Brian had stalked into the bathroom and run the shower. He stayed in there for almost an hour before going into the bedroom for another half hour. 

Justin imagined Brian jacking off while he showered and only the burn of whiskey and the relaxing feeling it gave his nerves stopped him from making a fool of himself and joining the man. When Brian went into the bedroom, Justin started to drink more. He wanted to forget about his stupid embarrassing request. There was no friendship between him and Brian. Just because he'd let him into his past didn't mean that Brian had to let him into his present more than he had to. Everything was business to Brian Kinney. Each drink Justin took, he reminded himself that his life the past few years had also been all about business and it needed to remain that way.

"Order you some dinner," Brian said, grabbing his coat from the back of the sofa.

Justin turned around and steeled his expression. "Are you goin' to pick up something?"

"You could say that," Brian replied, grabbing his keycard for the room.

"Well I'm not hungry," Justin slurred.

Brian shrugged. "You should get something in your stomach so you have something to puke up in the morning."

Justin rolled his eyes and plopped down on the sofa. "I don't need your friendly concern."

"Whatever the fuck," Brian growled back, taking the bottle of whiskey out of Justin's hand. "But you're not going to drink on my dime."

"Fuck you!" Justin shot up from the couch and pushed Brian's shoulder, causing the bottle to go flying and shattering against the wall. His eyes widened when he saw what he'd done. "Shit, I'm sorry!" he said, walking around the sofa toward the mess.

Brian blocked Justin with his arm and pushed him backward onto the sofa. "Watch it, asshole. You don't have any shoes on!"

Justin buried his face in his hands, feeling justifiably like the asshole Brian had called him. His head swam from the liquor that he had downed and he berated himself for acting like such a drama princess. "I'm sorry, Brian," he said, looking over at the man with a pathetic expression.

"Just keep quiet," Brian remarked. He walked over to the hotel phone, picked up the receiver and pressed the button for the concierge.

"This is Rhonda, the Lewis' evening concierge. Am I speaking with Brian or Justin?"

What is with this fucking hotel and it's pleasantries? Brian asked himself. "This is Brian Kinney, Rhonda."

"How may I assist you, Brian?" the woman asked.

"My fiancé is clumsy," Brian lied. "After pouring us some drinks he tripped over the couch and the bottle of whiskey went flying."

"Is he hurt?" the woman wondered.

"No, he's fine," Brian replied. "But there's quite a mess we need cleaned up."

"Have you two already eaten dinner?" Rhonda asked.

"No," Brian answered quickly and then kicked himself. He knew what was coming.

"Then how about I reserve you and Justin a table at Lane in a half an hour? I can send a cleaning crew up while you're at dinner if that is all right."

Brian wanted to throw his own bottle of whiskey. He clenched his teeth and replied, "That'll be fine. Actually, we're supposed to be meeting with a wedding planner Mr. Lewis has arranged at the same time but I've forgotten his name. When he asks for us will you have him meet us in the restaurant?"

"Of course, Brian. I'll find out that information for you and make sure I tell him when he arrives."

"Thank you, Rhonda," Brian replied and hung up the phone.

"Are they sending someone up to clean up my mess?" Justin asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, while we're at dinner," Brian informed the blond.

Justin stood up from the couch and declared, "I can't go anywhere. I'm a mess."

"You are," Brian admitted, and grabbed Justin's shoes. "Put these on and get into the shower and make yourself less than a mess. We have to meet with the wedding planner, remember?"

"But...but..." Justin tried to voice his confusion but stopped talking when he glanced at the mess and then back at Brian's disapproving stare. "Okay," he said finally, grabbing the shoes and slipping them on his feet.

Brian watched in amusement as Justin tiptoed over the glass and into the bathroom. He couldn't believe that Justin had gotten drunk in a little over an hour. He knew that his harsh words upset the blond, but he wasn't about to start planning any future after their divorce. He didn't know if they'd hate each other when it was all over and he wasn't going to make a promise that he might be unable to keep.

Brian knew that there would be complications in every aspect of their lives, it was inevitable. The knowledge he had of Justin was only a small piece of who he was and there was a past that haunted him in Pittsburgh. Those were guaranteed complications; whether or not Justin would choose to face them, they would infect both of their lives some how. Then there was Brian's own life to add to the mix. Everything would be changing in his life whether he realized it or not. Their marriage was going to be anything but the smooth easy business deal he envisioned and pretended it would be.

End Notes:

This video sort of explains what the chocolate shake really is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo1LPf9mnyU
Any one that has never been to Chicago should go and especially should go to this restaurant.


Chapter 10 - Martyr . . . dum, dum, dum by galeandrandy

"If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy." ~ Proverb

*****

 

Saturday, February 19, 2005

"Hello," Justin said, answering the hotel room's phone.

"Is this Justin?" he heard a female voice ask.

Justin nodded for a moment before mentally slapping himself and replying, "Yes. This is Justin."

"This is Melanie," the woman spoke in an uncertain tone. "I need to speak with Brian."

Justin began to pace the room as he informed her, "He's not in the room right now. He is having lunch with a client. Can I help you?"

"Didn't he realize what time our flight was?" Melanie asked. "Surely he doesn't expect you to entertain us. This is just like him to choose business over anything else in his life. Then again, that's why we're all here, isn't it?"

Justin had heard Brian speak of Melanie before but Brian had told him that for the last year or so they'd become friends. This woman didn't sound like she was his friend at all. It angered Justin and he wanted to tell the woman off; however, he knew that in a way she was speaking the truth. Justin also didn't want to fight with one of Brian's son's mothers before he even met her, he was nervous enough about meeting everyone today.

"Hello?" Melanie asked loudly.

"Sorry," Justin spoke quickly. "I... I just wasn't sure how you expected me to respond to that," he said honestly. "I guess from your vantage point what you said is true, but..."

Melanie laughed on her end of the phone, interrupting what the blond was going to say next. "I think I might like you already, Justin."

Justin flinched. "Why?" he asked curiously.

"You're already sticking up for him but you're obviously not blind to his faults either. You just might fit into this family perfectly," she explained.

Justin doubted he would ever fit into any family, especially Brian's family. They were a group of friends who all cared about one another, no matter how they fucked up. Brian had told him many stories and it seemed to Justin that all of them at one time or another had come to rely on Brian or Brian had relied on them. They stuck by each other through thick and thin. He was pretty certain that even without the promise of free vacations once he sealed the deal, his family would all still have lied and gone along with him and Brian's ruse.

"We're getting ready to land, Justin. Brian told Lindsay to call him right before we did. She's taken Gus to the bathroom so I figured I'd make the call for her. Do you think that he'll be back from his meeting within an hour and a half? We're circling the runway now and Brian said it took about an hour to arrive at the hotel from the airport."

"He'll be here," Justin assured the woman. "Mr. Lewis knows you guys are all coming in today and there's no way he'd hold Brian back from being with his family."

"All right, Justin. I look forward to meeting you," Melanie said. "Tell Brian we called and that we'll all be there in a little while."

"I will," Justin promised. "I look forward to meeting you and everyone else too."

Melanie hung up her line first and Justin stood in the center of the living area, the phone pressed to his ear for a few minutes until he heard the dial tone reset itself. He didn't know when he'd stopped pacing, but as soon as he heard the sound in his ear, he felt a rush of fear and apprehension spread throughout his body.

Time was up. Today was the beginning of his new life. Justin hoped that he was ready for it.

*****



"Calm down," Brian chuckled, sipping his beer.

Justin let out a deep breath and willed his tapping foot to stop its motion. "Are you sure that they'll believe we met at a club?" Justin asked for the hundredth time.

Brian rolled his eyes and handed Justin his beer.

"I don't want this," Justin said, trying to shove it back at Brian.

Brian clicked off the television, which neither of them were really watching and got down on his knees in front of Justin. "Put it on the table," he directed, sliding his hand up Justin's leg.

Justin placed the beer on the table beside him and looked down at Brian with a curious expression. "What are you doing? We don't have time."

The no fucking that Justin had insisted upon ended only a few hours after it began on Wednesday. Brian and he both felt overwhelmed and agitated after meeting with the wedding coordinator and the moment they got back to the penthouse and without a word of discussion, they started kissing.

Brian fucked Justin against the hotel room's door, then again on the table, over the couch and ended by sucking Justin off in bed. They continued fucking on almost every surface in the suite over the next couple of days, even testing out the bed in the spare room just for the hell of it. Justin still had apprehensions about continuing to fuck Brian, but that was the last thing he wanted to think about with Brian kneeling before him.

Brian parted Justin's legs and opened his pants. "We have time," he assured, fishing Justin's cock out of his pants.

"No, no we don't," Justin spoke nervously. "Look at me, I can't even get hard."

Brian laughed at Justin. "Time me."

"What?" Justin gasped.

"Look at that pretty little watch I got you and time me."

"You're ridiculous," Justin replied, but looked at the time anyway.

Brian sucked upon the head of Justin's cock first, dipping his tongue in and out of Justin's piss-slit repeatedly until he felt Justin's cock harden in his hand. He then took Justin completely into his mouth and down his throat. He used all the tricks he'd ever used or received as he eagerly sucked Justin. Never had Brian given a blowjob so enthusiastically or quickly.

"Oh," Justin whimpered and pulled Brian's hair. He bit his lip to try to control his pants but opened his mouth to emit a small scream as Brian's throat sucked the orgasm from his body.

Brian pulled off Justin's cock and with drops of come still in his mouth he asked, "Time?"

Justin could hardly focus on his watch as he brought his jelly-like arm toward his face. "Uhm.... Fuck!" he exclaimed. "Six... six minutes, Brian!"

Brian smiled and gave Justin a toe-curling kiss. "We met at Circuit and I took you home the night of the snowstorm," Brian said evenly. "Now chill out."

Justin licked his lips and nodded. "Thanks."

Brian stood up, grabbed his beer and finished it off. "Zip up your pants, go change your shirt and we'll go downstairs."

"Change my shirt?" Justin asked, tucking himself in. "What's wrong with my shirt?"

Brian smirked evilly. "I was kidding."

Justin hopped off the couch and pushed Brian backward playfully. "You're an ass."

Brian huffed. "I just gave you the best blow job I've ever given anyone and you call me an ass?"

Justin walked toward the bathroom and slapped his ass. "I suppose I'll give you the best fuck ever if we can get through today."

*****



Brian returned from the restroom and paused to look at the group of people gathered at the long table in the restaurant. Everyone was talking, laughing and enjoying their time together. His eyes focused on Justin, who had Gus sitting on his lap and they were drawing on a napkin. Gus was giggling at something Justin had whispered into his ear and the sight had Brian smirking.

Lindsay slid her chair back and walked toward Brian. "I don't like this," she said in a quiet voice.

Brian shrugged. "Neither do I, but if you plan on backing out on this I'd rather you just go home. Everyone else seems to be enjoying this."

Lindsay narrowed her eyes at Brian. "I'm worried about Gus, he really likes Justin."

Brian rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't that be a good thing?"

"It would be, if this was all real and I actually thought that Justin was the kind of person I'd want my son around."

"Excuse me?" Brian balked. "You've just met him. Everyone else has...."

"Has no idea that he's a thief," Lindsay interrupted, keeping her tone low.

Brian should've known that Lindsay would recognize Justin, or at least know of him. "He isn't a thief," he spoke sternly. "He's a fucking victim, Lindsay."

Lindsay's eyebrows rose. "Really? Did he tell you that?"

"No. He told me the truth about what happened and I'm sure it wasn't what you read."

"You trust him?" Lindsay said, surprised.

"I'm marrying him, Lindsay. Even for a billion dollars, I wouldn't marry a thief. I wouldn't bring Justin into all of our lives if I didn't trust him."

"You care about him?"

"Don't sound so surprised," Brian complained. "I'm not going to give you details, but I'd have to be made of stone not to care about someone who has gone through what he has."

"That doesn't change my opinion on wanting him around Gus," Lindsay sighed.

"He's young, Lindsay, but he's not a fucking idiot. He's really smart actually and he's great with Gus." Brian hoped that the blond wasn't faking that.

"That's what I'm worried about, Brian. You're bringing Justin into our lives and in a year from now, if you even last that long, you're going to cut him out of it. I don't want Gus to be attached to him, Brian. He's too young to understand what you two are doing."

"Justin's not going to just drop out of our lives," Brian said confidently. "Look at him, Lindsay. He's fitting in with everyone; there are not too many people that could do that with our crowd."

Lindsay nodded in acceptance. "It still worries me."

"Come on; let's get back to the table. They're going to serve dessert."

"You're actually going to eat it?" Lindsay laughed, following Brian to the table.

"Justin swears it's delicious," Brian answered.

As Lindsay sat down in her chair beside Melanie, she watched as her friend sat beside his fiancé. Her breath caught as she saw Justin smile at Brian as he sat down. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head as she observed Brian placing his arm around Justin and giving him a chaste kiss before he began talking to Gus.

"You all right?" Melanie whispered in Lindsay's ear.

Lindsay turned to Melanie and spoke quietly, "I don't think that Brian knows what he's getting into."

Melanie looked at Brian and Justin then back at her wife. "I don't think either of them knows," she assessed, smirking. "But it's going to be fun to watch."

"So, you see it too?" Lindsay asked.

Melanie nodded around the table and saw that each and every other person's attention was also now on Brian and Justin's interactions. "We're not the only ones. But I'd guess they'll be the last to know."

Brian's hand curled in Justin's hair and he grinned down at Justin with an expression no one at the table had ever seen him give anyone before.

"Maybe not," Lindsay voiced.

*****



"It wasn't so bad," Justin said, kissing down Brian's chest.

"I told you that they'd all like you," Brian replied smugly.

"Michael didn't exactly like me," Justin responded, sitting back on his ass.

"He liked you; he's just scared you're going to hurt me," Brian said in a mock-terrified voice.

Justin snorted. "Like that'll happen." He proceeded to lick around Brian's belly button and asked, "Did you explain to him that everything between us is fake?"

"It doesn't.... ahahaa fuck! Stop!"

Justin snickered and looked up at Brian while running his fingertips over the spot on Brian's hip he'd just run his tongue over. "So you're ticklish there?" he taunted.

Brian squirmed away from the touch and rolled the blond onto his side. "Just shut up so that I can fuck you," he growled into Justin's ear. "I've had enough talk about the wedding and my family to last a lifetime."

Justin tore open a condom wrapper with his teeth and handed the latex disc to Brian. "It was a long day," he sighed while squirting lube onto Brian's fingers that hovered in front of his chest.

Brian slipped both of his slick fingers inside of Justin and craned his neck to suck Justin's gasp of air into his own mouth. He used his tongue to kiss Justin in a rhythm that matched his fingering and when he pulled his mouth away, his fingers fell out of the tight heat too.

Justin's ass burned as Brian's fingers were replaced quickly by the head of his cock. "Slow," he requested, turning his neck to look into Brian's eyes.

Brian kissed Justin's cheek before turning his face into the blond head of hair and breathing in the sweet smell of the man in his arms. He never thought he'd be one to listen to such a pleading request by any man he fucked, but the trust he'd seen in Justin's eyes allowed his obedience to come easily. "It was a long day," he whispered, his lips now against Justin's neck as he agreed with the blond's earlier statement.

Justin moved Brian's hand toward his cock and together they began to jerk his dick. The stress he'd been feeling all day evaporated a little bit with each tug and with every small, perfectly timed push of Brian's cock into his body. He closed his eyes and sank back against Brian, drowned in the sensations and moaned his approval when the pain turned to the pleasure he only received from Brian Kinney. A man he'd be marrying in less than twenty-four hours.

*****



Brian awoke only a few hours after he and Justin had fallen asleep. He was lying on his stomach and his left arm was draped over Justin's hip. Overwhelmed with the absurd comfort Brian felt lying beside Justin, he jerked his arm away and rolled out of the bed.

What the fuck are you doing, Kinney? He mentally berated himself as he backed up against the wall furthest from the bed. "Making a huge mistake," he answered his question in a whisper.

Hearing his thoughts aloud made his spine prickle and his skin sweat from panic. As fast as he could, Brian pulled on the clothes he'd worn to dinner the night before, grabbed one of the keys to the room and rushed into the elevator. The moment the doors opened to the third floor, he rushed out and headed toward his destination.

Brian could care less that it was the middle of the night as he knocked, then pounded on the door of Michael and Ben's suite. He made out Ben mumbling that he was ‘coming' and to ‘quit banging', but the expression of his desperation didn't end until the door was opened.

Brian pushed past Ben while demanding, "Wake Michael!"

Ben managed to put his hand over Brian's mouth while he backed him into the living area away from the bedrooms. "He's fucking sleeping."

"You weren't?" Brian asked, pushing away from Ben.

Ben shook his head. "Couldn't," he admitted. "I started new meds last week, didn't Michael tell you?" 

Brian's problems immediately shelved themselves as Ben's words hit him. He held Ben's eyes as he sat down in the chair in front of the television, which he now noticed was on. "Michael didn't say anything." He waited for Ben to sit across from him on the sofa before he asked, "Why did they change your meds this time?"

"Virologic failure," Ben explained in a choked voice. "Three months ago my viral load was undetectable and three weeks ago testing found..."

"Are these new meds working?" Brian interrupted.

Ben nodded. "The last results I got on Wednesday said that it was once again undetectable."

"That's good," Brian spoke, relieved. "Though he should've told me."

"You've had a lot going on." Ben gave Brian a small smile. "So has Michael. He's been exhausting himself at the shop."

"You two need to take a vacation," Brian drawled.

Ben laughed. "We are, on you, remember?"

"Yeah," Brian said, grimacing.

"Second thoughts?" Ben needlessly asked.

"Let's just say that if I didn't know the life I'd be sending Justin back to, I would have already decided to break it off," Brian admitted.

Ben tried not to show his complete surprise on his face as he asked, "What life is that?"

"If I told you, I'd also be asking you to lie to Michael and I'm not going to do that. The arrangement Justin and I have is complicated. If I break it off, he'll lose more than I will."

"Michael told me that this Lewis guy is basically blackmailing you. You could practically lose Kinnetik if you get on his bad side, right?"

"Yes, but what Justin would lose..." Brian couldn't finish his sentence. 

"Whatever it is, it must be pretty important to you," Ben assessed.

Brian closed his eyes as he nodded his head. He knew Ben was getting the wrong idea about everything. Ben was a romantic fool and short of telling him the truth, Brian would have to let the man think what he wanted. "I've got to go," Brian spoke, abruptly standing.

Ben stood too and placed his hand on Brian's shoulder. "Justin seems like a really nice guy. I'm sure he deserves the sacrifice you're making."

Brian rolled his eyes at the sweet look on Ben's face, but he still affirmed, "He does."

Ben walked Brian to the door. "Good luck."

"Tell Mikey that..." Brian wasn't sure what he wanted to say.

"If he knows you were here, he's going to think something is wrong, Brian."

"Tell him I stopped by to see if he wanted to have a drink. I mean, not getting a stag party wasn't very nice," Brian quipped, exiting the hotel room.

*****


Sunday, February 20, 2005 
12:30 a.m.


Brian arrived back at the penthouse and cautiously made his way to the bedroom. He knew that he didn't have to explain a thing to Justin, but he didn't want Justin to ask him the same question Ben had. He had a million reasons not to go through with marrying Justin and only one good reason to do it. He didn't want to dissect how completely fucked up that was. 

Finding Justin sleeping soundly, completely oblivious to Brian's panic, to Brian almost ruining his life, Brian felt relief sweep away any string of fear. Justin had already given up what little life he had to help him; it was bullshit to think that Brian didn't need Justin's help almost as much as Justin needed his. He was the one who had coaxed Justin to agree to the deception. Brian Kinney didn't do regrets and he'd be damned if he was going to wallow in martyrdom. The deal was mutually beneficial and that's all there was to it.

Brian took off his clothes, gave himself a moment to warm up beside the blond and slowly woke him. Justin protested about them having to get up early, but lifted his leg to give Brian's cock easier access to his ass. He muttered obscenities about how tired he was when the stretch was a hair too much for him. But he sighed deeply and moaned encouragement when Brian brushed against his prostate and placed kisses behind his ear.

Pausing in his strokes, balls firmly pressed against Justin's perfect ass, Brian spoke the last intelligible words of the night. "It's your birthday now, Justin. And I'm going to fuck you all night long." 

Neither Brian nor Justin cared if they looked like they'd been up fucking all night while they said their vows that afternoon. It wasn't like the wedding photos would ever be framed or put in an album to be cherished and used for reminiscence years later. They had to make the best of a fucked up situation and finding pleasure with one another was the best way to do that.

*****



"With this ring, I thee wed," Justin pushed the words out of his mouth.

Brian tensed inside as a soft sigh came from the crowd of people behind him. He'd been brilliantly making people buy things they didn't need for years, but making all the strangers in attendance believe he and Justin were in love was a completely different level of genius. However, this knowledge disturbed him and confirmed what he'd always known to be true. Love is Bullshit.

Justin met Brian's eyes as he secured the ring on his finger and then released his hand. He half expected Brian to bolt out of the reception hall before they said their vows or pull his hand away before Justin could get the ring all the way on, but he hadn't. Justin was surprised at how calm Brian appeared all day and still looked very relaxed. The day had been so hectic and until that very moment, staring into Brian's eyes, both of them donning one another's rings, Justin hadn't had time to think that day about how life changing the moment he was in actually would be.

Brian took Justin's right hand in his left as they stepped closer to one another. He could feel the blond's hand shaking and leaned in to whisper into Justin's ear, "Relax. It's all just a game and we've already won."

Gregory, the Officiant, began to speak about the wonderful future that was before Brian and Justin.

Justin whispered back, "We have?"

Brian nodded and squeezed Justin's hand. "Look at them all. We've fooled them. They all think you're my one true love," he spoke softly, biting Justin's ear.

Justin laughed at the thought and his body relaxed as he glanced at the crowd. "And you're mine," he whispered sarcastically.

"Brian and Justin please seal your vows with a kiss," Gregory encouraged, standing behind the couple.

Brian was happy to perform the one part of the farce he actually didn't mind. He took Justin's face in his hands as he kissed him, opening his mouth with a sweep of his tongue and searching inside Justin's mouth until the crowd began clapping and the Officiant began to announce them as a married couple.

*****



Brian and Justin smiled at the photographer, their hands both holding pens, poised over a marriage license where they'd just signed their names. Their faces hurt from all the photographs they'd already posed for and they were more than happy that this was the last of the formal pictures.

"Thank you." The photographer, Jacob, took more pictures of the certificate lying on the over-decorated table before moving away from the couple to take pictures of the guests.

"I wish you both a lifetime of happiness," the Officiant told Brian and Justin, holding each one of their hands. "It was a pleasure performing the ceremony."

"Thank you for doing it on such short notice, Gregory," Brian said politely.

Justin nodded his thanks. "Feel free to stay and enjoy the party," he offered.

Gregory smiled at the newlyweds. "Thank you for the offer, but I have another wedding later tonight. Good luck to both of you."

Brian and Justin finally stood alone for the first time since the preparations for the wedding began that morning. The nook where the table and guest book were set up was in the furthest corner of the banquet hall; they could see everything going on from where they were. There were so many people that neither of them knew. Justin had been glad to be introduced to Brian's family the day prior because if he hadn't been, there wouldn't be a soul but Brian whose name he knew.

Brian noticed that Justin was twisting his wedding band around his finger while biting his lip as his eyes traveled amongst the guests. "Come on," he beckoned, taking Justin's hand. "The sooner we get our first dance over, the sooner we can eat, cut the cake and go back to our room."

"So we can consummate our relationship?" Justin snickered.

Brian gave Justin a secret smile. "Again and again," he told his husband as they stepped out onto the dance floor. "Not that you're a blushing bride in white."

"If I were a woman, my dress couldn't even be cream. It'd be yellow," he joked.

Brian kissed behind Justin's ear and growled, "Me too. Good thing you're not a virgin bride or a woman, because I wouldn't have married you. I definitely wouldn't fuck you either. And I'm not in the mood to take it easy tonight."

"You're not?" Justin taunted. He leaned into Brian and stood on his tiptoes to lick around the shell of Brian's ear. "Are you going to be rough with me, Mr. Kinney?" 

Brian squeezed Justin's perfect ass and brought their groins together. "Mmmm. I'm going to wear your ass out on my cock."

Justin peppered kisses along Brian's jaw as he plastered himself against Brian and began to hump him. "You are, huh?" 

"Fuck yeah. I'm going to fuck you so hard and get inside of you so deep; at the end of the night you're going to feel so empty that you'll beg for me to slip that new butt plug inside of you to take some of the ache away." 

Justin's knees felt weak as he pictured the described sex and had to step away from Brian. He looked around the room and it appeared that no one had been watching what had just gone on between them. He breathlessly asked, "Don't you ever get enough?"

"There's no such thing as enough." Brian's words echoed around the room because right in the middle of his first word, the DJ cut the music.

Brian's family laughed but the rest of the guests seemed oblivious as to what Brian's words were referring to. Justin immediately lost his erection, which he was glad for because he felt embarrassed enough by Brian's words.

"Oh God," Brian whispered in Justin's ear. "They're going to make us..."

"Dance to this corny song," Justin finished as the DJ cued it up.

DJ Freddy began informing the guests that "Save the Last Dance for Me" was officially the married couple's song and politely encouraged all of the other people who had been dancing to take their seats as Brian and Justin walked across the room and stepped upon the dance floor. The DJ knew exactly how beautiful and perfectly coordinated Brian and Justin were when they danced together. He also knew that once they got over their nerves, the two men were sure to surprise many of their guests.

Brian felt Justin shaking as he placed his hands on his waist. "We've done this before," he reminded his husband.

"But I didn't know any of those people," Justin spoke, his voice wavering.

Brian guided Justin to take a few steps backward and urged, "Dance with me."

Justin took a deep breath and properly poised himself. "Okay." 

*****



Justin leaned close to Brian and whispered, "I swear to God, if you smash cake into my face, I will not fuck you."

"I'm going to be fucking you, Justin," Brian corrected, talking just as quietly.

"Whatever, just promise you won't smash the cake in my face or I won't cut it at all," Justin warned, still keeping his tone low so that only Brian could hear. He took a bite of his Veal Souvlaki and moaned, "This is so good."

Brian nodded in agreement as he chewed a piece from his dish. "By the way, I wouldn't dare participate in any wedding tradition I didn't have to, especially one that could possibly stain designer clothing."

"Thank god," Justin said quietly. "Just the cake to go and then we can get out of here."

"Daddy?" Gus called his father from across the table. "Daddy?"

Brian looked over to his son, "Yes, Gus?"

"Can Justin dance with me?"

Brian caught Lindsay's irked expression before she could hide it. "You'll have to ask Justin," he told his son.

Gus smiled at Justin and asked, "Can we?"

"Are you finished with your dinner?" Justin asked, placing his napkin beside his almost empty plate.

"Am I Mama?" Gus asked Melanie, batting his eyelashes at her. "My plate's all clean, Mommy," he told Lindsay, turning the charm on her.

Every adult around the large circular table laughed at the little boy's antics.

"You ate very well," Lindsay praised her son. "Go ahead."

Gus squealed and pushed his chair away from the table before hopping out of it and running around to Justin's seat. "Come on, Justin. Let's go!"

"Okay, Gus," Justin said, feeling excited too. He stood up out of his chair and prepared to leave the table but first turned back to Lindsay and Melanie and assured, "I'll take care of him."

Brian grabbed Justin's wrist and pulled him down to kiss him soundly. "We know you will," he said as he pulled away.

Justin gave everyone at the table a glowing smile before Gus led him away toward the dance floor.

"Oh, Lindsay," Irene Lewis began, "you have such a sweet son."

"Thank you," Lindsay replied to the woman sitting beside her.

"It must make you happy to see that Justin is so good with him," Randal Lewis added.

Lindsay chose her words carefully and settled upon, "It's relieving."

"Gus seems to like Justin too," Melanie said, surprising Brian with the warmth in her tone. "We were a little worried about his reaction to him."

"He's usually shy with new people," Michael added.

Brian groaned to himself as he imagined all the ways the conversation could go. He wished that he hadn't felt obligated to sit the Lewises with his family. He didn't want any of them to get too personal with them and possibly say the wrong thing. His mind ran through topics he could come up with that were appropriate to discuss when Debbie, who must've noticed his desperation, and changed the topic.

"Brian told me that you donate and work with many charities, Irene."

Brian sighed and sent God a silent thank you as all the women at the table began to talk about their charity work.

"Blake and I are going to go dance too," Ted told Brian, rising from the table.

"We're going to go dance too," Michael said.

"Have fun," Brian called after the couples.

Carl rose from his chair and nodded. "I think I will check out that cigar roller you hired, Brian."

"Actually that was Randall's idea," Brian replied, wishing that Randall would join Carl. Carl was safe and he didn't know much about him so he couldn't mess up too bad. "It was a damn good one."

Randall smiled at the praise. "I'll join you, Carl," he said.

Brian looked over at the dance floor and saw Justin spinning Gus around in almost the same way he had done with him. Without saying a word to the ladies at the table, Brian went to join his son and husband.

*****



"Shh..." Brian soothed, gently rubbing Justin's stomach.

Justin, delirious from pleasure, shook his head from side to side on the crumpled pillow. "I can't... no more. Just come. Just come, Brian," he pleaded.

Brian's hands moved to massage Justin's inner thighs. "Do you really want me to stop?"

Justin wiped the tears out of his eyes and sucked in short breaths before answering, "I... I don't... I don't know what I want."

"I'll just stay right here until you decide," Brian said quietly. He leaned forward and braced himself on his arms and knees, his head beside Justin's. "Just relax and breathe," he coaxed.

The sun was shining high in the sky, light streamed into the bedroom, making the sweat on Brian and Justin's bodies gleam. It was irritating Justin's tired eyes and he felt like there were too many conflicting sensations inside of his body. Justin didn't know if he wanted to keep going, if he could get his body past the pain and come again. He'd lost track of how many times he'd come and he had no idea how the last orgasm he had began long before sunrise and turned into Brian continuing to fuck him through the morning. 

Justin's arms felt like lead as he clumsily moved them so he could put them around Brian's waist. "Go on," he urged. The need to reach the precipice Brian brought him to trumped all else.

Brian popped his head up and held Justin's eyes. "You're sure?" he asked, but began to slide his cock out of Justin's hole.

"Ah... yes, Brian," he gritted.

"Don't tense up like that," Brian said, sliding back inside of Justin. "Relax. I'll go slowly."

"No," Justin whimpered. "Just... go fast. I need it fast, Brian." To accentuate his point, Justin rose his hips up sharply and dug his fingernails into Brian's back. "Fuck me and don't stop or I don't know if I'll be able to take any more once you slow down."

Brian pressed his mouth to Justin's and they kissed languidly for a moment before the kisses turned raw and urgent. He started to plunge in and out of Justin's ass, vocalizing his pleasure unbound by thought once his own orgasm began to creep upon him again. He pounded Justin harder when his husband screamed for it, cried for it and he used his body, wordlessly urging Justin to come.

Brian knew that he had to time his come just right so that he wouldn't over-sensitize Justin any more than he already had. He had to tune himself into Justin's body, every shake, whimper, squeeze and moan cued him in on how close they both were to coming. He'd never known what it was like to know any body like he knew his own and he still didn't entirely know Justin's body, but he knew enough to bring them both to a climax that tore through them for solid, unrelenting minutes. Brian was barely coherent enough to pull out of Justin, throw the condom to the floor and roll to his husband's side.


Chapter 11 - Worthy by galeandrandy

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life. ~ Thoreau

*****

 

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Justin looked out of the plane's windows, his legs shook and he strummed his fingers against his the top of his thighs. Come on, he silently urged the plane to get to Pittsburgh faster.

"It's a good thing Lewis let us use his private jet," Brian remarked.

Justin turned toward Brian and agreed, "Yeah, it was nice of him."

Brian grabbed Justin's left hand and pressed down, holding both his leg and fingers still. "It's a good thing because you're so high strung you'd scare the flight attendants into thinking you were carrying a bomb."

Justin pushed Brian's hand away from him. "Shut the fuck up," he snapped, slouching in his seat. "I have every right to be freaking out. In just a couple of days, everything fucking changed. I'm leaving my whole life in Chicago to go back to the one place I never thought I'd see again."

"Some life you're leaving," Brian quipped. "Even if I was taking you back to live in an average apartment and couldn't help you any more than that, it'd still be a huge step up from your "life" in Chicago. Have you forgotten that your apartment was in the gay ghetto?"

"No!" Justin hissed, turning his head back toward the window.

"Your life revolved around whoring your ass to men so you could get money to pay off a fine so you wouldn't become a punk in prison."

"Fuck you," Justin gasped. He struggled out of his reclined seat and practically ran to the end of the cabin and slammed the bathroom door behind him.

Brian calmly rose from his seat, walked to the bathroom and rapped on the door. "Justin, don't be a drama queen. I was only stating the truth."

Justin gripped the sink and looked into the tiny bathroom mirror at his reflection. He didn't look anything like the person who looked back at him the first night he met Brian. He almost looked the way he had before... before his freedom was taken away from him. Brian was right, he knew that, but he didn't think he could take the man throwing it in his face whenever he felt like it. He hated himself for giving Brian the power to hurt him with the truth.

"Come on," Brian called. "Or are you going to stay in there for the whole flight?"

Justin flushed the toilet, washed his hands and unlatched the lock. "I just had to pee," he lied as he opened the door and brushed past Brian.

Brian rolled his eyes at Justin's behavior and followed him to their seats. "If you're done being pissed at me, I have something for you."

"I'm not pissed at you and I don't want anything else from you."

Brian knew that he'd have to deal with Justin's sour attitude for a long, long time to come if he didn't apologize, or at least attempt to do so. "Justin, I shouldn't have said that the way I did."

"You shouldn't have said it at all," Justin snapped.

Brian nodded in agreement. "So, you wanna see what I got you?"

Justin sighed, "I guess so."

Brian grabbed his carryon, pulled the items out and handed them to Justin. "You needed new ones for a new city."

Justin touched the front of the new sketchpad and then opened the metal box of pencils. "Brian, these are so expensive," he gasped. "I haven't had any like these since..."

"I meant to give them to you on your birthday," Brian interrupted, not wanting Justin to think of that time. "But with the wedding day and night being so busy I didn't have the time."

Justin gave Brian a small smile. "Thank you, Brian, but what about the last two days? You could've given them to me then."

Brian snorted. "We slept through almost all of Monday and yesterday you insisted on us waking up early and going sight-seeing in the freezing cold before everyone went home."

"We had a limo ride to the museum and the aquarium. We were outside for like all of two seconds." Justin poked Brian in the stomach. "You wanted to be with your son, don't act like you didn't."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to invite the Lewises, Justin."

"It wasn't my fault," Justin defended. "I was just putting the food cart out in the hall and she was walking to the other penthouse."

"You didn't have to say hi to her," Brian countered.

Justin gave Brian a disbelieving look. "She saw me; I wasn't going to shut the door on her."

"Well, you didn't have to strike up a conversation with her and tell her where we were planning on going."

"She started talking to me first. She started asking about why we weren't going on a honeymoon and I had to start talking about something else. It just came out. It wasn't so bad spending the day with the Lewises and your family. Was it?"

"No, I guess not," Brian admitted. He took out his iPod and urged Justin, "Go on, you don't have to worry, I won't peek at what you draw."

"Yeah, right." Justin didn't believe Brian for a moment; the man was nosy. He opened his brand new sketchbook and took a pristinely sharp pencil out of the box. The first strokes on the page were too heavy, creating dark curves he hadn't intended. He glanced over at Brian who now had his eyes closed, his lips moving to a song Justin couldn't hear.

A feeling zinged out from within Justin and prompted his fingertips to move the pencil. Once again, Brian had managed to awaken something inside of him that he'd thought would remain forever buried. The image of Brian's nose easily appeared and years of sorrow dripped off Justin's fingers, transforming into sure, content graphite strokes.

Brian opened one of his eyes a moment after Justin glanced at him and began drawing. It had taken a lot more time than Brian had planned, but finally he had Justin relaxed.

*****



"Holy shit!" Justin dropped his luggage just inside the doorway of the loft. "You... you live here?"

"We do," Brian chuckled, happy with the reaction he was getting from his husband. He couldn't believe he was actually married. Even if the vows were meaningless, he had still entered into a life-altering commitment and oddly enough, the walls weren't closing in on him. "Shut the door."

Justin turned and quickly did as Brian asked before walking to meet him in the middle of the space. "It's beautiful," he whispered.

"Glad you approve," Brian drawled. 

"I fucking more than approve," Justin said, laughing as he spun around holding his arms out. "I can't believe I'm going to live here."

"So you don't want to move to an apartment and have separate bedrooms?" Brian asked seriously.

Justin's arms abruptly dropped to his sides. "I didn't realize that was an option."

"I hadn't thought about it until now," Brian said chuckling. "But I thought that maybe you'd want your own space."

"You don't want me in your bed?" Justin asked in confusion.

"Yeah, I do. I'm hardly ever here anyway, but I thought you might need your own space away from me."

Justin shrugged. "Why don't we just see what happens?"

"Sounds good."

"You know what sounds even better?" Justin asked, grabbing Brian's belt loop.

Brian cocked his head to the side and innocently asked, "What?"

"You giving me a tour."

"This isn't the White House."

"I was just hoping you might want to fuck me in every room," Justin murmured against Brian's chin.

Brian's hands roamed along Justin's back and settled to lightly cup his ass. "I just realized that you didn't even ask me to carry you across the threshold," he joked.

"How about you fuck me across it instead?" Justin pulled Brian toward the door by his belt and pointed at the alarm. "Disarm it."

Brian had thought he'd fuck Justin against the door, but Justin's plan was MUCH more interesting. He walked over to the alarm and pressed some of the keys. "What's your sister's birthday?"

"What?" Justin gasped, head sticking out of his shirt, one arm dangling out.

"I figure if you're going to live here, I should change the code. All of my friends will probably guess anything I'd use and they have the current code, so I should reset it."

Justin threw his shirt away from him and walked over to Brian. "You don't have to change the code, Brian. If you want them to have it, that's okay."

Brian laughed and shook his head. "There's no reason why they should have it now. I'll give the code to Cynthia in case of emergencies."

"But what if they have an emergency."

"They will, twice a day," Brian assured.

Justin's eyes widened. "Twice a day?"

"Yeah, at least. So what are the numbers?"

"How about we set it to another date?"

Brian winced. "That's so lame."

Justin pushed Brian. "You don't even know what I was going to say."

"I know you are thinking our wedding date," Brian said, gagging.

Justin laughed. "No, asshole, I was thinking of a date that's actually important."

"What's that?"

"2-28-05," Justin answered, grinning.

"That's next Monday, isn't it?" Brian asked, mentally counting the days of the week.

"Yeah, even though we paid off the fine before we left today, that's the day that..." As the words tumbled from Justin's mouth, the reality enhanced his emotions, which caused his words to fade.

"You officially have your freedom," Brian declared.

"Yes." Justin cleared his throat and shook off the wave of emotion.

Brian gave Justin an agreeing smile before turning to the keypad and resetting the code. "Done!"

Justin grabbed Brian by the hips and roughly turned him around. "Now, you need to do me," he demanded.

*****



Thursday, February 24, 2005

Justin opened his brand new Razr cell phone and cautiously asked, "What now, Brian?"

Brian laughed deviously before answering, "Don't forget to get bread, butter and milk, dear."

Justin took a deep breath and blew it out into the receiver. "If you call me again so that you can poke fun at our arrangement I will throw this stupid slippery phone you insisted on buying me into the fucking gutter!"

"Shut up," Brian said, baffled at Justin's annoyed tone. "You're out having fun shopping while I'm working. I thought you'd appreciate how ironic and funny that is."

Justin shook his head but understood where Brian was coming from. He liked Brian's sense of humor, even if he were the butt of the joke at times and he had to admit, "It is pretty funny."

Pleased with himself, Brian let the teasing drop. "I really have had important reasons to call you."

Justin wasn't going to let him get away with that assessment. "Calling to make sure my phone number worked three times was not important."

"It would have been if you got a faulty phone and..."

"Had to return it?" Justin interrupted. "Why would that be a big deal?"

"I also called to have you put beer on the list, which was important and so are the bread and milk."

"I'm getting real food, Brian, you know, to make actual meals with." Justin had reacted much better to seeing Brian's barren fridge than he had when he saw that the freezer was filled with frozen meals and freezer-burnt pizzas. "Meals that don't sit in your freezer for a year. God, that thing smelled, I had to use almost a whole bottle of 409 to get the smell out."

"You really are turning into the housewife," Brian snickered. "Mikey and Ben are coming over tonight so you don't have to make anything."

"But you said you wanted me to get dinner," Justin spoke, frustrated. "That's why I'm at the damn grocery store. I was going to buy the stuff to make pizzas since you said that's what you wanted for dinner."

"Mikey and I have always ordered Beggar's Pizza," Brian explained. "I wanted you to pick it up on your way home since you're closer to it than I am. That's the other reason I'm calling now, to see what you wanted on it and I'll call it in."

Justin looked at the cart filled with food and wanted to push it into the stack of soda cases across the aisle. "I just finished buying like every fucking ingredient so we could make our own," he moaned despairingly.

"I thought you'd like Beggar's," Brian said. "Isn't it originally Chicago pizza?"

"How would I know?" Justin asked him. "I could barely afford peanut butter and jelly when I lived there."

"Well I guess we'll have Beggar's some other time," Brian relented. "Are you almost finished shopping?"

Justin relaxed. "Yeah, just about."

"Then I'll see you at home in about an hour," Brian replied. "And don't worry; I won't call you again unless it's a real emergency."

"Yeah, right," Justin laughed and closed the phone. He pushed the cart toward the freezer section and walked down the aisle of ice cream. There was every type of ice cream one could ever imagine eating but he had no idea what kind Brian liked.

Grinning, Justin opened his phone and dialed Brian's cell.

"Is this a real call or are you trying to annoy me?" Brian asked lightly.

"I was going to get some ice cream but I didn't know what kind you liked," Justin defended. "I'm not calling you because I'm bored with my job."

"Vanilla."

"What?"

"Vanilla."

"You want vanilla?" Justin asked.

"Am I breaking up or something?" Brian asked. "Are you going through a tunnel?"

"I'm in the freezer section, idiot. Is vanilla the kind you want or just the kind you think is the least fattening."

Brian snorted a laugh. "Vanilla is my favorite; it has nothing to do with fat. I've given up on my body now that I'm married. I gained four pounds in Chicago I'll have you know."

Justin smiled to himself. He sure did know, because Brian became a raving bitch the moment he stepped off the scale last night and Justin had to console his ego with a blowjob. The only reason he agreed to have pizza for dinner that night was because he declared that he'd be spending all of Saturday at the gym with his new trainer.

"If I was worried about fat at this point, I wouldn't be eating pizza tonight."

"If you weren't worried you wouldn't make promises of fasting all next week," Justin countered, laughing.

"If I had super powers that somehow made everything I ate go directly to my ass I wouldn't have to fast."

"Did you just imply that I have super powers?" Justin asked, liking the compliment.

"If the ass fits in the Diesels, yes. Or I should say doesn't fit."

"Goodbye, honey," Justin teased.

*****



Brian fucked Justin's nervous energy out of his body on top of the counter where he helped him make the pizza after they showered, and wiped off the counter too. Now Justin was more than relaxed and feeling a little loopy from the after effects of Brian!Sex combined with the really expensive wine Brian brought home. He had already drunk one glass and was halfway through another when the buzzer for the intercom sounded.

"I'll get it," Brian said walking toward the door.

"K." Justin set the timer on the oven and guzzled the rest of his drink. 

"Kinney." Brian spoke into the receiver, making sure it was his friends.

"Brian, something's wrong with the keypad," Michael's voice boomed through the speaker. "I can't get the co..."

"It's open," Brian cut his friend off and pressed the button to buzz Michael and Ben up to the apartment.

Surprised, Justin asked, "You didn't tell anyone you changed the code?"

"No." Brian opened the door. "Did you expect me to send out a mass text message informing everyone?"

"I doubt Debbie would know how to answer a text message," Justin assessed laughing.

"That's probably true," Brian agreed. "She doesn't even own a cell phone."

"Yeah well, I thought you'd at least tell Michael personally."

"Tell me what, personally?" Michael asked, stepping into the hallway from the stairs.

"Hey guys," Ben greeted and followed Michael into the loft.

"Hey," Justin greeted. "Glad you guys could come."

"Us too," Michael said, rolling his eyes at the domestic moment. He took his and Ben's coats and threw them over the back of the sofa. "So what did you need to tell me, Brian?"

"I changed the entry code for the loft, Michael."

Michael shrugged. "What is it?"

"Only Justin and I need to know," Brian explained. "I don't live alone anymore so..."

Michael gave Brian a wounded look. "So you want your key back?" he asked, digging in his pocket for his key ring.

"Yeah," Brian answered, relieved that Michael wasn't making a big deal out of it.

Michael took the key off and handed it to Brian. "I never thought the day would come," he teased. "You're finally a married man with a huzz..."

Brian shut Michael up by kissing him then dragged him over toward the computer. "Come here, I've got to show you something I found on EBay."

Ben and Justin shared an amused smile. "Would you like some wine, Ben?" Justin asked politely.

"Yes please, and if you wouldn't mind getting Michael one too?"

"Sure," Justin said, moving over to the kitchen.

Ben followed Justin into the kitchen and looked into the oven. "Did you make the pizza?" he asked.

"Yeah, Brian and I both made it. I hope that'll be all right. He said you guys normally eat Beggar's but I thought this might be a nice change."

Ben didn't comment on how surprised he was to hear that Brian had helped make the pizza. He was sure that once the family realized what he had already, they'd be doing everything they could to ‘spare' Justin and make him understand just what their perception of Brian Kinney was and what he could expect from him. "You bring around good change," he said, taking his wine glass.

Justin knew what Ben was implying but said nothing to deny or accept his words. He knew exactly where he and Brian stood and would always stand and it was far from where Ben and Michael's relationship was. "Brian found Michael some comic book accessory," he explained. "He's been excited all day about it."

"It's not just an accessory," Michael said with excitement, joining his husband and Justin. "It's the gloves that the most famous pannapictagraphist personally used!" The man bounced on his feet but didn't spill the wine Justin handed him.

Brian called from his seat on the computer, "They have a buy now button. Should I buy them?"

Michael spun around and handed Ben his glass before running back over to Brian. "They have a ‘buy now' button!" he shrieked. "I didn't see it a second ago."

"They just fucking put it on there," Brian told his friend in an amazed voice. "They're fucking meant for you, Mikey, do you want them?"

"Of course I want them, Brian, but not for... Brian! No! I can't fucking afford them!"

"Well, I already clicked the button," Brian laughed, "so you'll have to accept it as a gift."

"I can't take a...."

Brian pulled Michael to him again and kissed him. "Shut the fuck up and accept it."

Michael practically fell to his knees beside Brian's chair as he stared at the screen and touched it with two fingers. "They're mine."

Brian was busy finishing the order and he affirmed, "They're yours."

"Brian said that Michael was a comic geek," Justin whispered to Ben. "It seems like Brian is one just as much as Michael."

"I have to agree with you there," Ben replied. "If Michael or Brian could draw, they'd have made their own comic book by now."

Justin watched as Brian and Michael high-fived one another. "You think so?"

Ben nodded. "It's always been Michael's dream. He's got his comic shop but now he just needs to create a comic book and have..."

"His own special superhero," Justin finished for him.

Brian suddenly leapt from his chair and threw the mug of pencils to the floor. "How in the fuck can they not have overnight shipping for this item?" he raged. "The fucking seller lives in Philly!"

"Calm down," Michael spoke gently, looking up at Brian who began pacing.

"Find me a number to call!" Brian roared. "If I can fucking spend thousands of dollars on a pair of fucking cotton gloves they damn well can overnight them to me!"

"It's not that big of a deal," Michael tried. "I can wait."

"Find me a number," Brian barked.

Michael hopped into the chair and started looking for the number. "Really, Brian, it's okay."

Brian kicked the pencil holder while stalking around bending down to look at the screen. "Greedy bastards," he muttered.

Justin wasn't sure why he suddenly felt the urgent need to draw, but seeing Brian getting all hot and angry definitely had something to do with it. He instinctively grabbed the pen and grocery list from his pocket, placing it on the counter top and started to sketch.

"Found a number," Michael declared, picking up the house phone dialing it before handing it to Brian.

"What's the seller's name?" Brian asked.

"Vincent Lamar," Michael replied, looking at the account information. "He's an eighteen year old kid!"

A young nerdy voice answered the phone. "Comi-Craze Inc., this is Vincent."

"Vinnie?" Brian asked smoothly. "I have a question I need answered."

"Ah... who's this?" the boy asked, his voice cracking.

"This is Brian Kinney, a customer you should value since I just dropped a couple grand on a pair of gloves."

"Oh, yes!" Vinnie said quickly. "I just got the stats on that. How can I help you?"

"You can help me by giving me a logical explanation as to why it's going to take 2-3 business days to receive the gloves. I live in Pittsburgh, is there a reason you can't overnight my package?"

"Uhh...."

"I know the terms and agreements, Vinnie. I have twenty-four hours to cancel my buy if it has not been shipped. I'm sure you won't be getting what I paid for the item if you lose me as a customer and put it back up for auction. So I want you to tell me that I'll have them tomorrow."

"You'll have them tomorrow, Mr. Kinney. I'll package them up and see that they're mailed within the next hour."

"Thank you," Brian replied, "it was nice doing business with you."

"Yeah," the boy said hesitantly, "you too."

Brian hung up the phone and gave Michael a high-five. "Ha!"

"You definitely had some mind-control going on, Brian," Michael told his best friend.

"He's good at manipulation," Justin cut in, dropping his pencil.

Brian glared at Justin.

"Figure that out already?" Michael teased, walking into the kitchen. He spotted Justin's drawing and exclaimed, "That's really good!"

"Is drawing superheroes your specialty?" Ben asked, looking at the sketch, which appeared to be Brian in a Superman costume.

"You drew something?" Brian asked, grabbing the sketch.

Justin shook his head and laughed at his rendering. "I was just doodling," he told Brian, taking the paper away from him. "I've never really drawn anything like this but when I was little I wanted to be an animator."

Ben wondered why Justin wasn't an animator now. It was obvious he was a great artist. "Maybe you and Michael could do a comic book together."

"That would be awesome!" Michael agreed.

"Maybe some day." When I'm allowed to sell my art, Justin thought.

"Well, we could sit down and go over some ideas some time," Michael persisted.

The timer for the oven dinged and Justin quickly pocketed the sketch. "Pizza looks done," he said, cracking open the oven door.

"I'll get the plates." Brian gave Justin's ass a gentle squeeze. He looked at Michael and told him, "I'm going to be keeping Justin busy so you'll have to table your comic idea until I'm done with him, Mikey."

Mikey snorted. "Shut up, Brian."

"You're going to let him monopolize your creative energy?" Ben asked lightly.

Justin grinned and lied to Ben, "Yes, yes I am."

*****



Thursday, February 24, 2005

Brian hollowed his cheeks and slid his mouth down Justin so his lips were wrapped firmly around the root of his cock. He sucked hard, pulling the dick as far back into his throat as possible while using his throat muscles to hold and massage the head of Justin's dick. His fingers roughly pressed into the skin on Justin's hips as he fought to stop him from bucking around. He angled his head to look up at Justin as he drew the throbbing cock out of his throat. Brian squeezed his lips around the cap of Justin's dick, finally drawing out Justin's orgasm. He suckled the head until he swallowed the last drop of Justin's come and let the softening cock fall from his mouth.

Justin rubbed the blur from his eyes as he watched Brian crawl up toward him. He thought Brian would lie down so that he could return the blowjob and was surprised when Brian straddled his shoulders, sat on his chest and pushed his cock against his lips. Justin opened his mouth and...

Buzz!!! Buzz!!!

"Fuck!" Brian grumbled, crawling off Justin. "Never a moment's rest."

Justin caressed Brian's back as he sat up beside him. "Whoever it is, tell them to go away."

Brian looked at Justin and shook his head. "By the time I do, it'll be time for me to get ready for work." He stood up from the bed and slipped on his robe. "Imagine if I didn't change the code, whoever it was would've heard you screaming as you came down my throat."

Buzz!!! Buzz!!! Buzz!!!

"I didn't scream," Justin gasped, laughing as he pulled on a pair of gym shorts.

Brian threw Justin's sweater directly at his face. "Maybe next time I should tape you so you can see for yourself."

Justin considered that for about two seconds before he ran after Brian while putting on his shirt. "You'd better not ever do that," he warned.

"I'd tell you first," Brian assured him, dragging Justin against his body. "It'd be hot," he whispered and licked Justin's ear.

Buzz!!! Buzz!!! Buzz!!! Buzz!!!

"Fuck! We're coming!" Justin yelled, extracting himself from Brian's arms.

Brian laughed at Justin. "You came, but I'm not." He pressed the intercom button and yelled, "What?"

"Brian, it's me," Lindsay spoke. "Gus is with me and it's freezing out here, let us in, the code isn't working."

Brian pressed the buzzer to allow Lindsay into the building.

"Does she normally come by here this early?" Justin asked, yawning.

"No," Brian groaned, opening the loft door. "Usually she waits until after I get home from work to ask me for money."

Justin looked at Brian in shock and whispered, "I'm sure that's not the only reason she comes by."

Brian snorted. "I guess we'll find out."

The elevator reached the loft floor and Brian walked out to help lift the gate.

"Dada!" Gus yelled, throwing himself into Brian's arms.

"Sorry for stopping by so early but it's an emergency," Lindsay spoke in a rushed tone, walking into the loft.

"Good morning, Lindsay," Justin said politely.

Lindsay stopped in her tracks and looked at Justin warily. "Oh, I forgot you were here."

Brian laughed as he walked in after her, holding Gus. "Where did you think he'd be?"

"Justin!" Gus exclaimed. "Dada, let me down."

"Hi, Gus!" Justin bent down and hugged the little boy.

"Do you know my crayons are in the drawer in the kitchen? You can draw for me now," Gus told him.

Justin looked over at Lindsay and Brian. "Is it okay if I take him over to the bar to draw?"

Brian shrugged. "Of course."

"I guess," Lindsay spoke under her breath.

Gus skipped over to the kitchen and Justin followed, feeling the tension from Lindsay and happy to get away from her. He helped Gus take off his winter coat, sat him on the bar stool and searched in the drawers for the crayons and some pieces of paper.

Brian took Lindsay by the elbow and led her across the room toward the windows. "You didn't answer my question," he spoke quietly.

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "I just forgot he'd be here."

"Well, next time you plan on stopping by at the crack of dawn, remember that I'm not the only one who lives here," Brian said angrily. "And try to use some of those waspy manners you learned."

"I was caught off guard," Lindsay defended herself. "I'm not a child. Excuse me if I need some time to get used to him."

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. "Just tell me why you are here."

"Gus' daycare had a fire last night. The whole damn thing burned down. Now, I don't have anyone to watch him today."

"Where's Melanie?" Brian asked.

"She left yesterday afternoon to go to Erie for a conference and won't be back until Monday."

"You can't call into work?"

"I have the Emerging Artists Show this weekend. There's no way I can get out of work or take him there with me," Lindsay spoke desperately. "I tried to call Dusty and see if she could watch him but Jamie is out of school too, and she and Marie are both sick with the flu. They have their hands full and I really don't want Gus getting sick."

"I have work," Brian informed her. "You said I could have him this weekend and I've planned for that, but I'll be working late tonight. I've got four different clients meeting me today."

"Can't you take him to work?" Lindsay asked. "Maybe you could have Cynthia watch him while you're working?"

"If it were a normal day, it'd be no problem. But I'm short-staffed as it is and Cynthia is picking up their slack."

Justin overheard most of the conversation and walked over to Lindsay and Brian. "I could watch him."

Brian and Lindsay looked at one another, gauging each other's reactions, which were both relieved before turning to Justin.

"You'd want to?" Brian asked.

"Do you have any experience with children?" Lindsay implored.

"I used to watch my little sister all the time. Gus is a lot better behaved than she was."

"You're hired," Brian told him.

"Are you sure you want to?" Lindsay queried. "It can be hard to keep him busy."

"I'm sure I want to," Justin assured her. "I was planning on going to the library today and I can take Gus with me. Do you know if the Children's Museum is still there? I'd like to take Gus if it is and if I have your permission. I haven't been there since I was a kid."

"Which wasn't that long ago," Brian teased.

Lindsay was surprised with Justin's request and even more astounded at how genuine he was. "The museum is still there," she told him and something occurred to her. "Have you been to Pittsburgh before?"

"I grew up here," Justin admitted, his chest aching as he spoke. "I only moved to Chicago to attend college."

"I see." Lindsay wanted to ask more but she noticed how hurt Justin looked when he spoke and didn't want to torture him, especially since he was helping her out. "Let me get you some money then for..."

"I don't need it," Justin interrupted.

"Are you sure?" Lindsay asked.

"Gus is my son," Brian told her. "Justin and I share a bank account."

"What?" Lindsay gasped.

"We're married," Brian explained. "I trust him."

"But you're not really married."

"Legally we are and before you get any ideas, Justin isn't a gold-digger. I had to put him on my account for private reasons that will remain between us both."

"Okay," Lindsay replied. "Since you're having him overnight do you still want him for the weekend?"

Brian nodded. "Now go say goodbye to our son and get to work. Justin, write down your cell," he delegated. "I've got to get in the shower or I'm going to be late for my first meeting." Brian practically ran up the stairs to his bedroom.

"Gus, I've got to go to work," Lindsay told her son. "You're going to go somewhere special with Justin while Dada works. Then you're going to spend the weekend here with Justin and Dada. Does that sound fun?"

Gus smiled brightly. "Oh, yeah!"

Justin was glad the boy was so eager to hang out with him; he'd been worried that Gus wouldn't want to be left alone with him. He wrote down his cell phone number and handed it to Lindsay after she said goodbye to Gus. "You don't have to worry," he assured her. "I really like kids."

Lindsay smiled. "I'm sure you two will have fun."

Justin walked Lindsay to the door. "We will."

"If there are any problems or Gus just wants to talk to me, feel free to call me."

"I will," Justin replied, opening the door for her. "Have a good day at work. Good luck with the show."

"Thanks, Justin," Lindsay smiled warmly. "And thanks for offering to watch him too."

"No problem." Justin gave Lindsay a wave and shut the door. He walked over to Gus and asked him. "Are you excited to go somewhere fun with me?"

"Yup!" Gus assured. "Can't wait!"

Justin smiled. "Me too."

*****



Justin and Gus were having an amazing time at the children's museum. They'd just come back from the cafeteria where they had chicken fingers for lunch and were now exploring the replica of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. 

"Smile, Gus." Justin aimed the camera at the little boy who was dressed like King Friday.

Gus posed and giggled. "What now, Justin?"

"How about we go see Daniel's clock?" Justin suggested, helping Gus take off the costume.

"Okay!" Gus yelled.

Justin held Gus' hand as they weaved in and out of the crowd of children, most who were on field trips from school. "Remember we have to be very quiet because Daniel doesn't like loud noises."

"I know," Gus whispered barely loud enough for Justin to hear him.

Justin was so caught up with the little boy's excitement that he barely noticed the two people they were walking toward, until his brain cleared and he recognized their faces. He wasn't sure why, but he protectively pulled Gus close to him as he paused before them.

"Justin!" Molly yelled and threw her arms around her brother.

In shock, Justin stood stiff, staring into his mother's eyes.


Chapter 12 - Your Imagination by galeandrandy

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. - Oscar Wilde

*****

 

Thursday, February 24, 2005 

"Mommy!" Gus hopped down from the bar stool, ran over to Lindsay, and hugged her.

"Did you have fun today?" Lindsay asked, kissing Gus' cheeks.

"So much!" Gus exclaimed, dancing around.

Justin smiled down at the little boy and ruffled his hair. "I had a lot of fun too."

"Brian still isn't home?" Lindsay asked, glancing around the loft.

"He's workin'," Gus answered. "I talked to him on the phone."

"He should be home in about an hour," Justin further explained.

"I'm gonna go finish my food, Mommy," Gus told her. "Justin made me chicken soup and ants on a log."

"All right, sweetie, but hurry up because it's almost bedtime."

Gus pouted. "I thought I was stayin' at Dada's tonight."

Lindsay sighed. "I know, but you don't have to. I didn't have to be at work as long as I thought."

Justin felt as disappointed as Gus looked at him, not only was he fun to be with, but he distracted him from any thoughts about seeing his mother and sister.

"But I don't wanna go home, I wanna stay," Gus whined.

Lindsay felt guilty. "I know that, but you're going to spend the night with Dada on Saturday."

"It's not fair!" Gus complained, stomping his foot. "I wanna stay."

Not wanting this to ruin Gus' fun day, Justin knew he had to intervene and try to help. Justin knelt down to be level with Gus. "Buddy, me and your dad would love to have you stay here too, but if you go home with your Mom tonight, then she won't be all alone. I bet she needs her big man to keep her company tonight."

Gus' hazel eyes widened and he looked up at his mother. "You do?"

Lindsay gave Justin a grateful smile before addressing Gus. "Yes, I do. In fact, I'll even let you sleep in bed with me tonight. You can have all of Mama's pillows."

Gus smiled and agreed, "Okay! But can I finish my food first."

"You can, sweetie," Lindsay said, "hurry up."

"K." Gus ran back over to the bar and climbed up in his stool.

Lindsay watched in surprise as Gus took a large bite of the celery stick. "I can't believe you got him to eat celery," she whispered, amazed.

"Ants on a log are the only way I'll eat it," Justin said. "I let him make his own so I think that made a big difference. At first I made myself one and ate it to show him it was good and he thought I was crazy."

"My nanny used to make those for me and my sister. I'd forgotten about them until now."

"My mom made them for me too," Justin said wistfully.

Lindsay wanted to ask more about Justin's family but rightly chose to change the topic of conversation. "I want to thank you for taking care of Gus today; he seemed to have a great time."

Justin grinned. "Anytime, I wasn't just saying that I had fun to appease Gus, I really did love hanging out with him. He's so smart, witty and he makes everything fun. When we were at the library there was this old gray haired man sitting at one of the computers and he kept coughing loudly as I was grabbing the book I wanted. When we walked past, Gus tapped him on his shoulder and whispered, ‘In a library you're supposed to be quiet, mister.' Everyone around who heard, including the man coughing, couldn't help but laugh. I could hardly hold in my own laughter the whole time I was checking out my book."

Lindsay smiled proudly at her son's adorable behavior. "That's Gus all right. What was his reaction to the laughter?"

"He kept ‘shushing' everyone."

"Of course he did," Lindsay said.

"Mom, Justin, I'm done," Gus said, climbing down from the stool. "I need to wash my hands." He clapped his hands together, the peanut butter he got on them making a squishy noise as his hands separated and came together.

"I'll go help him wash up," Lindsay said, leading Gus into the bathroom.

Once Gus cleaned up, he and Justin said their goodbyes, Justin assuring Gus that he'd see him in a few days. He grabbed his cell phone to call Brian and let him know that Lindsay had taken Gus home.

"Hey," Brian answered his phone in a groggy voice.

"Hey, back."

"Does Gus want to talk to me again?" Brian asked. "I'm almost finished here so it shouldn't be too much longer before I'm home."

"Lindsay stopped by and picked him up," Justin said. "She was able to get out of the gallery earlier than she thought."

"Oh."

Justin heard so much disappointment in that one word. "I know, it sucks. But he'll be staying with us on Saturday."

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to call an order in at China Star?"

"Sure," Brian replied, "get me the number seven."

"Okay, I'll call them. See you when you get home."

"Later."

"Later," Justin replied and hung up. A tremendous ache took up residence in body as he closed his phone. He couldn't wait for Brian to get home to distract him from all the pain and loneliness in his heart.

*****


After fifteen minutes of fucking Justin, Brian came to the realization that the immediate blowjob he received after arriving home and the fuck occurring minutes later, had less to do with his husband being horny and more to do with Justin escaping emotion. It wasn't in Brian's nature to over-think a fuck, but he found himself thinking about Justin's wants, needs and emotions a hell of lot more than he liked to before, during and post fucking. It was when Brian kissed Justin's neck then lightly bit at his skin, prompting Justin's ass to tighten and for him to beg for Brian to bite him harder, that he realized something was off with the younger man.

Brian continued to fuck him, to give them both pleasure but he couldn't stop thinking about how Justin had never acted this way ‘in bed' before. He only wanted to use the barest amount of lube, stopped him when Brian wanted to finger him first, and the moment the head of Brian's dick entered him, he shoved his ass back to the hilt much quicker than he should have. Maybe that should have startled Brian. But at first, he thought it was all about him, selfish prick that he is, thinking that Justin was so hot and horny for him he couldn't wait and would rather endure pain than go another moment without having Brian's dick buried inside his ass.

"Harder," Justin growled desperately, his voice muffled. Draped over the sofa, his face smashed against the back cushion, hands gripping the seat, he widened his stance, hoping to get Brian's cock even deeper inside of him. "Please, please, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, Brian!"

Brian fucked faster, his hips slamming against Justin's ass, one hand jerking his dick, the other pulling the blond locks of hair. He wasn't a stranger to pain management and didn't know what else to do, so what Justin asked for he gave, and gave a little more. He wanted Justin to know that whatever it was that was bothering him, that at least while they were fucking, he didn't have to worry. Brian slapped Justin's ass, bit the crease of his shoulder and folded his body over him. Justin came, come flooding over Brian's hand and onto the sofa, his hole squeezing Brian's cock as his body jerked and vibrated around Brian, bringing forth Brian's orgasm.

The moment the last euphoric tide abated within him, Justin felt the ache burning inside of him again. He groaned, from the feeling of Brian pulling out of his tender ass and because he'd been so sure that if he could just feel the pain physically, it would somehow eradicate it completely. No such luck.

Brian discarded the condom, pulled up his pants and when it appeared that Justin couldn't move, he helped pull his up too. "You wanna tell me what that was about?" he asked Justin, turning him around to face him.

"I'd rather not," Justin replied, walking over to the kitchen. He felt a need to tell Brian, but that thought alone bothered him enough not to want to. Brian had his own shit to deal with and Justin knew he didn't actually like talking about emotional shit, and if he told Brian about what happened, he would most likely become an emotional mess. Justin wondered how it was that he went from being able to hide every emotion to being afraid that he couldn't quell them at all.

"I thought you had a good day with Gus?" Brian knew that was a low blow. He was guilting Justin into thinking that he thought something bad had happened with Gus, but he didn't want to spend all night guessing at the problem.

Justin paused grabbing a box of rice and looked up at Brian. "It isn't Gus. I had a great time with him. He's the best."

"Did Lindsay say something shitty to you?" Brian asked.

"No," Justin assured, going back to grabbing the take-out containers from the bag, "she was fine."

"I'm not going to play twenty questions," Brian said irritably, walking around Justin to grab plates from a cabinet. "Just tell me what the fuck that," he paused once he was beside Justin and gestured to the sofa, "was about."

Justin sighed deeply and with a resigned tone said, "At the children's museum, I ran into my mother and sister."

Brian hadn't expected that, though he figured his mood had something to do with Justin's reluctance to be living in Pittsburgh. "Shit."

Justin laughed dryly. "Yeah." He scooped his food onto his plate, took it over to the table and started eating, his appetite barely there, he had to force himself to chew.

Brian brought his food over and sat across from Justin, giving him a moment to swallow before he asked him to elaborate. "And?"

"She was there as a chaperone for Molly's class."

"Did you talk to her?"

"For like a minute," Justin said sadly. "Molly's so different now. She's really tall for a fifth grader, almost as tall as me and she's so beautiful. I can tell she still adores me, but she doesn't know..."

"That your parents abandoned you?" Brian supplied when Justin didn't say anything more.

Justin took a few bites of his food and processed how he could continue the conversation without sounding like he was defending his parents, knowing that Brian hated it the few times he had defended their actions. "She doesn't know what really happened. They kept her out of all of it, I knew all that the last time I saw her."

"So where the fuck does she think you've been all this time?"

"I don't know. I didn't have much time to talk to either one of them. They were leaving to go out and board the buses when Molly spotted me. She ran over to me and hugged me tighter than she ever has." Justin stopped talking for a moment as he felt tears well in his eyes. "I think they were both so shocked they didn't even notice Gus standing beside me. They probably thought he was some random kid."

"So Molly and your mother didn't ask where you'd been?"

"No, they didn't have time. The chaperones and teachers were trying to rally all the kids up and my mom had to help. She handed me her business card, told Molly I could call her at their new number and then pulled her away with the rest of her class."

"So are you going to call?"

Justin wanted to, to talk to Molly, but he knew that he'd have to go through his mother or maybe even his father and he didn't know if he wanted to deal with that. "I don't know."

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do," Brian said, keeping his tone soft. "But if Molly saw your Mom give you her card and told you to call her and you don't..." He let his words trail off for Justin to draw the obvious conclusion. Molly would think that he didn't want to talk to her.

"I know," Justin stood from the table, grabbed his barely touched plate and walked over to the counter to cover it with plastic wrap. "I just don't understand. They didn't want me to contact them and now my mom suddenly wants me to." He grabbed two beers from the fridge, opened one for himself, walked back over to Brian and handed him the other. "I don't know what the fuck to do and poor Molly is probably sitting by the phone waiting for me to call her. If it were the other way around, I know I would be. I don't want to talk to my parents though, not yet. I didn't want to see them or to talk to them until I could at least pay them back a little bit, show them that I have every intention of making something of myself."

Brian grabbed Justin's wrist and pulled him so he sat in his lap. "You have already made something of yourself."

"I'm not saying this to get pity Brian, but seriously, I haven't made myself into anything but a whore."

"Fuck that." Brian squeezed Justin against him and carded his fingers through his hair. "You made yourself into a survivor and that's more than they probably expected which I'd guess is one of the reasons why they cut you out of their lives."

Justin was surprised at Brian's neutral way of thinking regarding his parents. "So because they didn't want to watch me die in prison, that makes it okay?"

"You know it doesn't. I sure as fuck don't think that but I know you're looking for something, something to hold onto so you won't be so pissed at them. Fuck, I don't even know them so I'm no one to be making judgments or explanations on their behalf."

"But you may be right."

"Maybe. Whatever goes on with your parents and you, maybe they don't have to be involved with what goes on with you and your sister?"

"Yeah right," Justin snorted, placed his beer on the table and turned so he could straddle Brian face to face. "Do you think I should call her?"

Brian shrugged and kissed along Justin's throat. "I think you should call her if you want to."

"What if I have to talk to my mother or father and they ask about me, about what I've been doing..." Justin sighed as the thousands of questions his parents might possibly ask him assaulted his thinking.

Brian drew back and looked into Justin's eyes. "Do you plan on ever telling them the truth?"

"No," Justin replied emphatically, "never."

"Then tell them," Brian stopped speaking for a moment to think. He didn't want to lie, but he and Justin were already doing that and if they could lie for Brian to get an account they could certainly lie to spare Justin the pain of telling his parents that he had to rent out his body to stay alive. Decided upon his thoughts, Brian continued, "Tell them that shortly after the trial, you and I met. I kept an apartment there in Chicago, I knew you needed a place to stay and I needed a housekeeper and dog walker."

Justin laughed. "You don't have a dog."

"They don't need to know that."

"You know what I'd like to tell my mother?" Justin asked, grinning like a fool.

"Hmm?" Brian nuzzled his face under Justin's chin and took a deep breath, smelling Justin as his perfect ass innocently wiggled upon his crotch. It was beginning to get harder to continue the conversation that he was having with Justin because, even though they just finished fucking, having Justin's ass so close made his cock ache to be inside the warm place it loved. "Tell me," he said when Justin didn't start talking.

"Never mind," Justin mumbled, abruptly standing up from Brian's lap. He crossed over to the stairs, taking off his clothing as he went. "It's too late to call Molly tonight anyway."

Brian stood, took a deep breath and thought of the time he saw Carl's tongue in Deb's mouth. With his dick not doing his thinking, Brian's mind was free to think. He walked after Justin and saw that the blond had already gotten under the covers and thrown them over his head.

"So you'll call her tomorrow afternoon then." Brian was fine going to bed this early but he wasn't ready to sleep.

"Huh?" Justin asked, poking his head out from under the blanket.

"It's too late to call Molly tonight, so you'll call her tomorrow."

"Maybe," Justin conceded, his body suddenly felt like lead. He didn't want to move, didn't want to think, because he was sure that his thoughts were completely pointless. Things were so much easier when he didn't have hope.

Brian undressed, slid under the duvet and propped himself up on his side. He really hated talking but he knew that if he didn't get Justin to say what he wanted, he wouldn't be getting what he wanted. It had been too shitty of a day at work and he wasn't going out to pick up a trick, so if he wanted to get off at least once more, he had to talk to get him talking so that his husband would relax. "It's too early to sleep."

"Well maybe you should go out then?" Justin suggested. "I can sleep by myself, you know."

Brian made a sour face. "I want you to tell me what you were going to say before, about what you'd like to tell your mom."

"It's stupid."

Brian flicked Justin's ear and scooted closer to drape his arm over his waist. "Tell me and I'll fucking tell you if it's stupid."

Justin raised his eyebrows.

"What? You think I won't?"

"No...it's just... I know it's stupid and I don't need you to agree."

"This is why trying to communicate sucks," Brian muttered, glaring at Justin. "Just fucking tell me, asshole."

Justin had never heard an insult sound so sincerely non-insulting. "Fine." He thought to himself about what had first come into his mind before giving in and deciding to tell Brian everything. "I want to tell them that nobody knows, not your family, friends, no one."

"Knows what?"

"That we've been carrying on a secret romance," Justin replied, blushing. 

"A secret romance!" Brian laughed aloud because he could never imagine himself ever doing any such thing.

"See," Justin frowned, "it's stupid."

"No, no, it's just funny. So, tell me how this secret romance began. I'll have to know if it's going to be believable or not."

"All right. So... uhm...let's see. You were in Chicago on business a couple of weeks after the court ruling. I'd just gotten a job at a coffee shop and you came in to get a latte. You were my last customer before the end of my shift. I made your drink and you flirted with me."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did I flirt with you?"

Justin shrugged. "I don't know, maybe you thought I was hot?"

Brian snorted a laugh. "That'll work. So, what next?"

"You asked me if I knew a place that tourists didn't go to that had good food and beer."

"Uhuh..." Brian began to run his hand up and down Justin's chest, his fingers playing in the baby fine hairs that were invisible to the eye.

"I told you that there was a place not too far from where I was staying and that I'd walk you to it if you'd wait for me to grab my bags. We talked the whole way there and when we got to the entrance, you asked if you could buy me dinner as repayment for me being your tour guide. I, of course, said yes, since I was living in a shelter and hadn't gotten my first check from the coffee shop yet and the only food I was used to eating was slop."

"You were living in a shelter? Is that true?"

"For a little while I did, until..." Justin gulped. "I didn't tell you that yet. But you did ask about me carrying around a duffel and a backpack when we left the coffee shop. I told you that I didn't trust my roommates. Anyway, we went into the restaurant, it's called ‘Local Coco's' it's a diner/bar on the corner of Newton and 14th. "

"Not ‘The Wiener Circle'?"

"That's on the other side of town," Justin answered. He closed his eyes and imagined the pretend evening. "You and I hit it off, we talked for hours about nothing and when we left you wanted to walk me home. That's when I told you where I lived and I told you why."

"And I believed you when you told me about what your Professor did to you," Brian spoke softly, firmly.

Justin opened his eyes, put his hand in Brian's and smiled at him. "You did and you wanted to help me."

"I did."

"And you told me that I could stay at the hotel with you for the weekend, just as friends and that you'd help me out however you could. Over the next two days you fell hopelessly in love with me but because I hadn't paid enough on my fine I couldn't leave the state and come to Pittsburgh with you, so you put me up in the hotel until you could arrange to come back and find a place that would be ours there."

"See, the apartment and dog thing could've worked," Brian said, "but your story is much more elaborate."

"I like my story," Justin said in a quiet voice and closed his eyes again. "If it had been like that..."

"What happened after you moved into the apartment?" Brian interrupted.

"I continued working at the coffee shop and you and I would talk on the phone, email and you'd come see me whenever you could. You told me about your friends, about your past and that it would always follow you around. The way you lived your life before changed when you met me. But you knew that they'd think I was using you for your money if you told them about me. Eventually, the distance between us got to be too much and you wanted me in Pittsburgh with you."

"This is some story," Brian spoke, moving his hand to Justin's hair. "You should be a writer."

Justin giggled, "I'm not done with it."

"Oh right, I proposed, didn't I?"

"Yup, and of course I said yes and that's when you had to tell your family. They wouldn't believe it if you told them the truth, so you told them what the real truth is."

"You think your parents are going to believe that?" Brian asked.

"Why not?" Justin turned on his side and gazed into Brian's eyes. "If I even get that far, there's no reason they couldn't believe that. If you act the way you do with me when we're around the Lewises, they'd have no reason to think I'm lying."

"I'm that good," Brian joked.

"Better." Justin grinned. "So you think you can remember that, if my parents or Molly ever ask?"

"I could." Brian kissed Justin's forehead. "You realize that they may not even ask for any explanation."

Justin nodded. "Oh yeah, they will. When I introduce you as my husband, they'll want to know it all."

"They'll think they did the right thing, leaving you there, not talking to you."

"I know," Justin admitted, "but I don't care. I don't want them to feel guilty, Brian. I'm angry at them but I've thought about this so many times and as mad as I am, I know that my parents lost so much because of me and there is no denying that."

"It was that asshole that sucked you into all of it that caused it," Brian said with heat to his tone. "Don't fucking forget that." He yawned, sleepy from Justin's bedtime story and from his long workday. "You should call tomorrow."

Justin scooted closer and pressed his naked body against Brian. "I will," he vowed. "I promise."

"This isn't something you're doing for me; this is for you, for your sister, right?"

Justin nodded. "I know. Brian, you may not realize this, but you are pretty great."

Brian flipped Justin onto his back and settled between his spread legs. "I realize it." The time for talking was officially over. He reached for a condom and ground his dick against Justin's cock; he was sleepy but not so tired that he still didn't want his husband. "Would you like a demonstration?"

Justin grinned mischievously and asked, "Do I get to perform my own demonstration after yours?"

Brian dipped his head down and rested his lips inside Justin's parted mouth. "If you insist," he whispered.

*****



Friday, February 25, 2005

Justin awoke at the sound of the loft door sliding open and then closed. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked to his right; surprised to see it was a few minutes past noon.

"Morning, Sunshine," Brian called out, walking up the steps to the bedroom.

Justin sat up and in a throaty voice asked, "What are you doing home?"

"I took a half-day off. We have stuff to do." Brian walked over to the closet and began to change out of his suit. "Get up, get showered and get dressed."

Justin dragged himself out of bed and plastered his body against Brian's back. "Take a shower with me?" he asked, kissing along Brian's bare shoulders.

Brian faced Justin and gently pushed him away. "I took one this morning while you were still sleeping. I'm sure you're aching for more of my dick in your ass, but..."

"Like you're aching for my cock in your ass?" Justin cut Brian off and playfully slapped his chest. "Where are we going?"

"Shopping." Brian pulled out a burgundy sweater and a pair of jeans and threw them onto the bed.

"Is there something else you needed from the store? I thought I stocked the fridge pretty well."

Brian raised one eyebrow. "Not for food."

Justin's shoulders slumped. "Do I have to go? I'd much rather you model your purchases once you've decided upon them."

Brian laughed dryly. "You're going to be the one modeling."

Justin's eyes widened. "Ah, no, I'm fine."

Brian gestured to the array of clothing in the closet and touched the few items of Justin's that were hanging inside. "You have nothing to wear."

"It's a hell of a lot more than what I had before," Justin defended. "I don't need anything more, at least not until the summer and by then I'll hopefully have a job and..."

Brian interrupted Justin by letting out a loud long laugh. "The cleaning lady only does the dry cleaning twice a month. There's no way you can survive two weeks on that."

"We have a cleaning lady?" Justin asked. "How often does she come? Are you sure you need her now that I'm living here? I can take care of all the cleaning and it's not like all my clothes have to be dry cleaned. I know how to do laundry. Isn't there a communal laundromat downstairs?"

Brian looked at Justin as though he'd lost his mind. "What are you on?"

Justin ran a hand through his greasy hair and huffed, "Nothing, why?"

"You just asked like ten questions in five seconds."

"I'm a little weird in the mornings," Justin told him, putting one hand on his hip. "Now are you going to answer those questions? Cause if not, I think I might go back to sleep."

Brian rolled his eyes, wondering why he'd never seen this ‘morning' Justin before. "You're not going back to sleep. You've slept longer than I have."

Justin shrugged. "Well, I'm still tired so..."

"All right, let's see, yes, I've hired a ‘cleaning lady'. Her name is Veronica and she comes every Monday, unless it happens to be a holiday, then she'll call and arrange a different day. She's usually here around two and leaves around six. Laundry is collected every other Friday and she brings it back the following Monday. Besides occasionally running the dishwasher and picking up after yourself, you don't need to clean anything and we definitely still need her."

"What about the laundromat downstairs? Couldn't I just do my clothes there."

"If you want to deal with that for your underwear and tees, whatever, but I pay Veronica to do all the laundry so you'd be better off letting her clean it all when she does mine. In case you didn't notice, most of the clothing you got in Chicago is supposed to be ‘dry cleaned only' and if you don't wash it the way it suggests, you're throwing away money because none of that shit will last."

"Well I still think I can stretch this stuff to last me. I don't need any other new clothes," Justin insisted.

Tired of arguing with about this, especially because it was an excuse to keep Justin's mind off the impending call, Brian tried one more time. "Look, I'm buying you new clothes whether you like it or not, so if you want to choose some that you like, be ready in twenty minutes." He turned his back on Justin and began to dress.

Just as Justin was about to reply with, ‘Just because you buy them it doesn't mean I have to wear them,' he realized exactly what Brian was doing. Brian had planned this ‘surprise' shopping trip. He'd taken off work early, all so that he could entertain Justin and keep him busy because Brian knew how anxious he was about calling his sister and mother. He thought about calling Brian out on this, but the thoughtful act was so sweet Justin didn't want to ruin it. "All right," he consented, "but only if we can get lunch first."

*****



Brian was feeling quite smug about how well their shopping trip had gone. He'd managed to keep a smile on Justin's face the entire time. Now, they were walking into the loft, both of them with many shopping bags weighing down their arms.

"Oh fuck," Justin groaned, dropping his bags on the floor of the elevator. He didn't know what got into him; he loved shopping with Brian, more than he thought he ever would. After the first store, Brian had taken him to ‘Lord', a men's clothing store that catered to every person who walked inside. There were no prices on anything and so Brian convinced him that if he tried something on, felt good and looked good in it, then the price truly didn't matter. Justin had accepted this but after hours of trying on clothes, alongside Brian, and being told that he looked great in almost everything he put on; he had to put a stop to it. "Thank you for taking me shopping," he told Brian as the elevator began to rise, "but I think maybe we should return some it."

Brian snorted. "You don't return anything to Lord's." He rolled his eyes at Justin. "I thought you had fun."

"I did." Justin smiled at Brian and grabbed for his bags when the elevator stopped.

"So what's the problem?" Brian lifted the gate, grabbed his own shopping bags and placed them in front of the loft door while he dug his keys out of his coat pocket.

"I didn't realize how much I got until I saw them boxing it all up. It's going to be summer soon. I won't be able to wear anything but the jeans then."

Brian shrugged and opened the door, shoving Justin inside first, before gathering his stuff and following him in. "That's why designers make seasonal collections."

Justin dropped his bags to the floor. "There is no way I can let you do this again. I'll hopefully have a job by then and I can buy my own shorts and t-shirts," he said.

Brian wasn't going to spoil the day. "If that's what you want."

If Justin's size changed, which he guessed that it would now that he was eating three meals a day, he would measure him in his sleep and buy him suitable spring and summer clothing himself.

"Really?" Justin asked, surprised. "You're not going to..." His words were cut off from the sound of his watch alarm beeping. "It's four-thirty. Molly should be home from school by now. I have to call her. Oh shit. God damn it, I don't think I'm ready to call today. Maybe I should wait; maybe I can wait until..."

"Shh." The shopping trip suddenly forgotten, Brian stepped behind Justin and rubbed his shoulders. "You can do it. If you want, you can sit on my lap when you call."

Justin laughed and turned around, Brian's arms dropping to grip his waist as he did. He breathed in Brian's scent and closed his eyes, the feeling of safety lessening his fears. He opened his eyes and nodded at Brian in thanks. "Maybe just... stay around."

"You want privacy?" Brian asked. "I can go shower now if you want."

"No." Justin grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and flipped it open. He'd programmed in the office number and the house number that his mother had listed on her business card yesterday. "Just, maybe you can start hanging this stuff up before it wrinkles?" He wanted Brian close, but not so close that he could hear both sides of the conversation completely.

Brian faked a gasp. "I can't believe I've left Prada in a box this long. Hopefully it will survive."

Justin snickered as he watched Brian gather all their bags and go up into the bedroom. He could still make him out through the glass, and knowing he was near if the phone call turned out badly made it a lot easier for him to press the send button.

"Hello?"

Thrown by the unfamiliar male voice answering the phone, Justin stuttered out his reply, "Uhmm... I...I'm looking for... is this the...the Taylor residence." He hoped to God that he hadn't programmed the wrong numbers in on his phone because he'd already thrown the card away and was so stupid not to memorize the name of the agency where his mother worked. Jennifer Taylor was a common name and he'd have to spend days calling listings to find her.

"Yes, this is the Taylor residence. Who did you need to speak with and who is calling please?"

Justin wondered if maybe it had been so long since he'd spoken to his father that he'd forgotten his voice. "Dad?" he whispered.

"No..." The person laughed. "I'm sorry, who is this?"

Justin detected a small accent when the man asked the question and knew that he was wrong, it wasn't his father. "This is Justin," he introduced, "my mother gave me this number..."

"Justin!" the man said with a relieved tone. "Your mom and Molly have been waiting... hoping for your call. I'll go get her. Hold on, okay?"

"Okay," Justin gulped. He heard the sound of the other phone drop and clang onto some type of surface and then the sound of quick footsteps until there was only silence. His anticipation and confusion grew as the seconds of stillness from the other line passed. He didn't have any idea who the man who answered the phone was and he didn't know if he was about to talk to his mother or his sister first.

"Justin! I'm so glad you called," his mother's voice suddenly spoke.

"Hi, Mom."

Jennifer let out a long sigh into the receiver. "Hi, I... I want to apologize for the way I acted at the museum. It was such a shock seeing you and then I had to rush so that we could get the kids back to school and..."

"It's okay," Justin interrupted. His skin broke out in goosebumps and he felt nauseous. It wasn't okay so why had he told her that it was. It wasn't okay that she'd abandoned him and yet, he felt so grateful just to hear his mother's voice, it wasn't supposed to be this easy. He wasn't supposed to be able to forgive her for casting him out of her life and he was angry with himself for thinking that he wanted to. He wanted to just wipe the slate clean, start again and have his mother be his mom again.

"Justin? Did you hear me."

All he'd heard had been his own internal dialogue. "No... sorry the connection was bad for a moment," he lied.

"I asked, are you still in Pittsburgh?"

"Yes. I live here now, with my husband."

"Your...your husband!"

"Yes, his name is Brian."

"I.... I didn't expect... Oh, Justin, are you happy?"

"Yes," Justin replied, "now I am."

"Were you able to get an extension or a reduction for the fine?"

"It's been paid," Justin told her in a tight voice. "I worked to pay off a lot of it, and because I married Brian, what is his money is also my own so he paid off the rest."

"That had to be a large amount of money, Justin. Did you marry this man for the money?"

"I don't really see how that's any business of yours," Justin snapped, losing his cool for a moment.

"I never stopped being your mother, Justin. You are my business and..."

"Listen, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, but the truth is, you and Dad dropped me. I know your lives were messed up because of what happened and if I could go back and change that I would, but I don't think you have any right to ask me why I married Brian. You don't know me anymore." He hadn't planned to say any of that to his mother, but Justin found himself unable to stop. "I would've loved for you to have met Brian before we got married. I would have loved for you to be at our wedding, but that wasn't possible and it wasn't because of me."

"You're right," Jennifer whispered, obviously holding herself back from crying. "There's a lot of things we need to discuss."

"There is," Justin replied, his voice gentler.

"I'd love to meet your husband and see you when I'm not chasing after a bunch of fifth graders. I know Molly wants to see you too. She wanted to be home tonight in case you called but she had basketball practice. I have so much I need to tell you."

"I have to ask Brian when we're free. But maybe you could give Molly my cell phone number and she could call me tomorrow?"

"All right."

"Give me a minute to go talk to Brian." Justin put the phone on hold and walked up to the bedroom. Brian was busy putting away their newest purchases in the closet. "Hey."

Brian had to pretend that he hadn't been listening closely to the conversation. "So, how was it?" he asked, kissing Justin's forehead.

Justin playfully pushed Brian away from him. "Don't act like you haven't been listening this whole time."

Brian smirked. "So?"

"She wants to meet the both of us."

"That includes you getting to see your sister, right?"

"Yes." Justin smiled. "I'd like to meet them over here, if that would be all right with you."

"They're your family," Brian told him, "and it's your home now too."

"So maybe I could make dinner on Sunday for them if you don't have anything planned already."

Brian thought for a minute. "Not that I can think of."

"Good." Justin pecked Brian's lips before going back to his phone. "Mom?"

"Still here, sweetie."

"Are you guys free Sunday night?"

"Anything we have going on can take a back seat to seeing you," Jennifer told him.

"Well I don't want to take you and Dad away from a business dinner or something."

"Justin..." Jennifer sighed. "I wanted to wait to tell you in person but..."

"What?" Justin asked, dread dragging up his spine.

"Your dad and I divorced."

"What?" Justin gasped. "Because of..."

"It was NOT because of you," Jennifer quickly said. "We hadn't been happy in a long time. The time we spent together during your trial was the first time we'd been in the same room for more than sleep in almost a year."

"Oh god," Justin groaned, collapsing onto the bed. "He left you and Molly."

"It was amicable, Justin. It's one of the things we need to discuss."

Justin recalled the man that answered the phone. "The guy that answered, who was he?"

"His name is Tucker, he's my boyfriend. I'd like to bring him with me and Molly on Sunday if that'd be all right."

"You don't want to ask dad to come?" Justin asked.

"I can give you your father's new number if you'd like to call and ask him."

"No," Justin told her firmly. Overwhelmed with the new information, Justin stuttered, "No...not...not now. This time, this time, can you and Molly just come?"

"Of course," Jennifer said, "I understand."

"It's just that I don't want to..."

"You don't have to explain, honey. We'll talk on Sunday, okay?"

"Okay," Justin spoke with relief.

"Do you want your Dad's number?"

"I don't know. Maybe you can give it to me on Sunday, after you explain what is really going on with him that you won't tell me about now."

Jennifer took a deep breath. "All right. So what time and where do you live now?"

Justin told his mother the address after arranging to meet at five and he hung up the phone after giving her a terse goodbye. "Shit," he said, falling back onto the bed.

Brian put the last pair of underwear in Justin's drawer and dropped down onto the bed beside him. "What?"

"My parents are divorced now." Justin turned on his side to face Brian. "My mom is dating some new guy. Molly is playing basketball, apparently my girly little sister is now a jock and I... I'm.... God, nothing has changed for me, nothing I can tell them."

Brian rubbed the back of his hand against Justin's face, the cool metal from the ring brushing down across his lips. "You told her we were married, that's a big change."

"Yeah," Justin sighed. "But it's fake."

Brian shrugged and locked his eyes with Justin's blue ones. "She won't ever know that." He leaned down and kissed Justin, pushing his tongue in between Justin's plump lips and diving in to taste his warm mouth. "Stop worrying," he whispered, pulling back.

Justin smiled as he felt Brian's erection pressing against his leg. "I suppose you know what to do to make me stop worrying?"

Brian grinned devilishly. "Of course I do. But you'll have to come get it," he said, flopping onto his back.

Justin sat up and gave Brian a lustful stare, running his eyes up and down Brian's body while he grabbed a condom and lube. "You're a very giving husband; I think I'll tell my mother all about that."

"You do that, after..."

"I do you?" Justin finished, throwing his shirt off.

"Just remember that I'm usually the giving one," Brian added.

"I couldn't ever forget," Justin replied, anxiously pushing his pants down.


Chapter 13 - To Hold On by galeandrandy

What to have, what to hold
A poor man's roses
Or a rich man's gold 

One's as wealthy as a king in a palace
Tho' he's callous and cold
He may learn to give his heart for love
Instead of buyin' it with gold 
Then the poor man's roses
And the thrill when we kiss
Will be memories of paradise
That I'll never miss ~ Patsy Cline

 

*****



Sunday, February 27, 2005

"Top floor." Justin pushed the buzzer to allow his mother up to the loft. He began to pace in front of the door, wondering why she was dropping by. It was still hours before the time they'd agreed upon to have dinner. Then again, he didn't know if they were still having dinner because Molly hadn't called him yesterday and he hadn't wanted to call his mother again, too worried that she would call it off.

Justin wished that Brian was home, but he had just left to take Gus back to Lindsay's house. Seeing his mother for the first time would be much easier if Brian were there with him, he found strength from Brian, even if he knew he shouldn't rely on the man, he did. He could hear the elevator rising and glanced at his clothing, happy that he looked presentable in his new jeans and sweater, much better than what he looked like the last time his mother had seen him.

He opened the door and stood in the threshold, nervously biting his lips as he saw the elevator stop. "Mom," he said softly, once she lifted the gate. They stared at one another for a minute before Justin gestured to her. "Come inside."

Jennifer nervously walked past Justin, sad that her son hadn't made a move to hug her. She knew he was angry with her and didn't blame him. As she stepped into his home, she glanced around and was in awe. "Wow." She smiled at him, taking his hand. "This place is beautiful."

"Thank you. Do you want me to give you a tour?" he asked.

Jennifer shook her head. "I need to talk to you."

Justin felt himself clamming up. "Oh. Okay." He led her over to the sofa and took a seat in the chair opposite it. "We could've talked tonight, that is... if you're still coming. I wasn't sure after Molly didn't call yesterday."

"I'm sorry, she spent the day with your dad and when I told him that I'd seen you and spoken to you, he said..."

"What?"

"Your dad and I didn't want you to talk to Molly before I talked to you again."

"Why?" Justin asked, his voice cracking. "What's going on? You were perfectly fine with me..."

"I was so caught up in talking to you on Friday that it didn't occur to me that there are things we really need to talk about without her in the room."

"So that's why you're here?"

"Yes."

Justin waited, his insides twisting with panic, terrified that his mother wasn't going to want him to be around his sister. If that were the case, then he certainly wasn't going to have her in his life either. He had just taken the items out of the fridge to prepare the sauce for the roast he was going to serve for dinner and decided to wait to start the preparations until after the phone call. He'd already defrosted the meat, so he had to cook it tonight, but he wasn't going to make the special sauce from his mother's recipe if she wasn't going to be there to eat it. It felt wrong to cook some happy meal that reminded him of growing up and eating it at her table if she wasn't going to be there.

"Gosh, I don't even know where to start," Jennifer said, twisting her hands nervously.

"Start by telling me why you don't want me around my sister." Justin froze as the possible answer came to him. Was there a possibility that his mother had somehow found out about him hustling? Sure, it was probably something she worried about, considered he'd have to do to survive, but she would never know for sure. But what if she did? Who could have told her? Maybe she'd done a background check on him and found out that the escort service employed him? No, even then, she wouldn't know that he fucked men for money. The service offered legal escorts to men and women for events and holidays, that was all she could know about Windy City Escorts if she'd looked on their website. There was no hint to the sleaze that was underneath the glitz.

"Justin," Jennifer said with alarm, "I want you to see Molly. There are things your father and I told her that you need to know before you see her."

"What things?"

"She thinks the reason we haven't had contact with you is because we all got into a big fight and that we cut you out of our lives because of it. Molly believes that you're angry with us and that is why you haven't come home and haven't called. We didn't want her to know the truth, because she wouldn't have understood."

"I still don't understand it," Justin said. "You never really believed in me. You never believed I was telling the truth. Why would you tell Molly that all we had was a fight? How can she believe that I'd just go away with no word because of a stupid fight?"

"I always believed you, Justin. I'm sorry if it didn't seem so. I want you to forgive me for that and I know your dad wants you to forgive him too. We shouldn't have left you in Chicago alone, and I hardly understand what we were thinking. I just... at the time, things were going so wrong with me and your dad and then Molly..."

"What about Molly?" Justin hadn't seen his sister since before his arrest. His parents had told him that she was in Pittsburgh staying with neighbors and they didn't want her to talk to him because she would be too worried.

"Justin, she was sick," Jennifer said, her voice scratchy.

"What do you mean, sick?"

"She's fine now but at first we didn't know she would be."

"What happened?" Justin demanded, walking over to the sofa to sit beside his mother. "Tell me!"

"There was a mole on the inside of her upper arm that started to look funny. With all her freckles, we didn't think anything of it at first but it got bigger and bigger. I took her to the doctor and when he saw it he told us that she needed to have more tests done because it might be cancerous."

Justin felt his throat closing up as tears clouded his eyes. "Was it?"

"Yes, they sent her in for a biopsy the same day that your father met you and the lawyer, do you remember. That's why I didn't come."

"Mom..." Justin wiped at his tears and reached for his mother's hand. "What happened?"

"It was malignant melanoma and it had to be treated," Jennifer said. "They removed the lesion and then she had to have chemotherapy for the next year. A month on, a month off and it took so much out of your dad and I. She recovered well and hasn't had any problems since but during that time..."

"The trial... all the shit with me was happening at the same time," Justin said, breaking down and crying. "I can't believe you guys didn't tell me."

Jennifer put her arm around her son's waist and pulled him against her chest, a huge weight disappearing as she held him in her arms once again. "We didn't want you to worry. The only way we could get through the trial and Molly's cancer was to keep it separate. We didn't want you sitting in that jail cell worrying about her too; you had too much going on. We all did. And by the time the trial ended Molly was doing better but your dad and I weren't. We were crumbling, as I told you before, it had been that way for a few years and it all just started imploding. Neither one of us were thinking straight when we cut you out of our lives. There's no excuse, no apology good enough to make what we did better. We both know that."

"I made the mistake of trusting a man I shouldn't have." Justin separated himself from his mom and scooted back from her. "I shouldn't have been so naïve." 

"But it wasn't your fault, Justin and we didn't do enough to assure you of that. A few months after we left you there, we tried to find you but you didn't have your apartment any longer and your friends..."

"You tried to find me?" Justin asked in shock.

"We did. But there was no trace of you, we were terrified for your safety but we'd hoped that some of your friends helped you. We tried to find out through the court where you might be working or living but they wouldn't tell us anything. They wouldn't even let us pay anything on your fine."

"What?"

"Your dad, he merged the business with Howell Stores and he made a lot of money. He tried to pay off your fine with what he made but the stipulations..."

"I know," Justin said, gulping in deep breaths. "After my birthday that year, I was officially an adult and the fine procured could only be paid by me at that point." When his court appointed lawyer informed him of this, it had been the beginning of him escorting. He had hoped that his parents wanted to find him, he had hoped that they regretted pushing him out of their lives, but he hadn't imagined that it was true. At least, his mother, anyway. He still wasn't sure what to think about his father. Why hadn't he tried to call him or contact him now that he knew where he was?

"I had so many terrible thoughts running through my head every day, thinking about what you would do if you couldn't pay the money in time. But I just kept reminding myself that you had friends there and you've always been a resourceful and strong person so I was sure you'd find a way and I hoped that you'd find your way back to Pittsburgh once you did."

"I did," Justin said, "because of Brian." He wasn't going to tell his mother that she was wrong about him having friends that would take care of him in Chicago. He wasn't going to tell her that the closest person to him in all those years was the man who had taken his virginity so that a John didn't take it.

Jennifer noticed Justin's distant look and asked, "Are you okay?"

Justin nodded. "This is just... I don't know what to say about what you've told me. I don't know how to feel about any of it. I didn't want to come back to Pittsburgh because I didn't think you'd ever want to see me again, and I didn't think I could handle being in this town and one day running into you only to have you ignore me or..."

"That never would've happened. God Justin, I hope you'll forgive me one day. I know that I should've told you about Molly, maybe then you would've understood why we had to focus on her. We thought we'd done all we could for you at the time and we were so angry at the outcome, not at you. But we took it out on you and made you think we didn't believe you. I know we did that and if I could go back I'd do so many things differently."

"I know that," Justin replied, still in shock. It was so hard to believe that his mother and father had tried to find him, had wanted him in their lives the whole time. He could see how much pain his mother was in, she looked devastated and he knew she blamed herself for so much. If he put himself in her shoes, he wasn't sure he would've done things differently. She had one child who had cancer, who needed her attention and love, a marriage that was crumbling and another child who had, purposely or not, ruined his life. The worst thing was, she was so naïve. Justin could tell she honestly believed in his ability to find a way to survive and pay off the fine. She believed his innocence and she believed in his strength. He couldn't ever tell her the truth. He had to forgive her, otherwise they'd never move on from the past. "Mom," he whispered, enveloping her in a hug. "I forgive you."

Jennifer leaned back and held Justin's face in her hands. "How can you?"

"Because you're my mom," Justin said simply. "I don't want to talk about the past anymore. We need to move on."

"Thank you." Jennifer kissed Justin's cheek. "I spent so many nights wondering if you were all right." She gestured around the room. "It looks like you did more than ‘all right', you made a good life for yourself here?"

"Well... not exactly. But yes, Brian is more than ‘all right'. This is his loft; I didn't live in it until after we were married. It's all his design."

Jennifer smiled. "I suppose so. I always pictured your home to be a little more eclectic. How long have you been married?"

"We were married last week, in Chicago."

"Oh my!" Jennifer asked, flustered, "Why aren't you on a honeymoon?"

"Brian owns his own business and he took a lot of time off during the week of the wedding. We'll take one some other time," Justin lied.

"So tell me about my new son in-law."

"Brian is..." The sound of keys in the lock of the door stopped Justin from divulging any information. "Well, I think he's here."

*****



Brian kissed along Justin's neck and murmured. "You realize we're going to have actually order those wedding photos now."

"Just a few to show my mother." Justin pushed Brian away from him. "Why is it that every time you come into the kitchen while I'm cooking, you try to fuck me? Do you have some food kink that I have now discovered? Does watching me cook get you hard? Do you have a crazy need to hear the bang of pots and pans while you're banging my ass?"

Brian laughed softly against Justin's neck. "I have a crazy need for..." He stopped himself before saying the word, ‘you'. But it was there and they both knew it. Brian waited for Justin to react, he took two deep breaths and slid his hands up and down Justin's torso, testing to see if he felt tense. He didn't and all the tension released from his own body, and Brian promised himself that he'd be more careful. "What is that sauce you're making for dinner?" he asked, backing away from Justin's enchanting body.

Justin closed his eyes and told himself that he had gone through enough shock and renewal of hope today. He had to brace himself again. Just because he had a reason to hope that things really were going to be okay with his family, that didn't mean he could hope for more from Brian. One had nothing to do with other. So what if Brian was going to tell him that he had a crazy need for him! They had been talking about sex, just sex. "The sauce is for the roast. I put some in the bottom of the pan and I made up some more to squirt over the top as it cooks."

Brian watched Justin, wondering why, for the last three days, he'd been saying things to Justin that were far too lovey-dovey. He was forced into marrying him, sort of, and yet instead of running away and spending as little time with Justin as he could, he was spending every waking moment with him that he wasn't at work. It wasn't right. He was still a free man, even if technically he wasn't, he could go to Babylon and fuck whoever he wanted, but that knowledge hadn't made him run and do it. Even now, he was horny and wanted to get his cock sucked. He had time to go out and find someone to suck him off before he had to be back for Justin's dinner, but he wasn't going to do that. He was going to stay at the loft with Justin, be with him while he reunited with his sister and wait until they left to satisfy what he needed. He needed to fuck Justin and that need was trumping the need to fuck anonymous mouths and asses. But why? And why was he okay with that?

"My mom really liked you," Justin said, bending over the open oven, turkey baster in hand.

Brian stared at the world's most perfect ass and sighed in relief. Ahh...that was why.

Justin squirted the turkey, closed the oven and smiled at Brian over his shoulder.

Brian smiled back at Justin, and refused to acknowledge the urge to scratch his last statement when he gazed at his husband's smile. It wasn't the light in Justin's dark blue eyes. It wasn't his dimples that appeared on his cheeks, depending on his expression. If it was his mouth at all, it was because it was one damned talented mouth. That was the end of it.

Justin laughed and threw a towel at Brian. "If you come help cut up the cucumber and carrots for the salad we'll have time for you to fuck my face before they get here." Justin went back to cutting up the lettuce and throwing it in a bowl, as if he didn't just offer his mouth on a platter for Brian.

Brian walked over to Justin and his smile turned amused. The way Justin had so casually suggested that he could fuck his face if they hurried made Brian lo... appreciate having Justin around. Brian grabbed a knife from the drawer and started peeling the cucumber as fast as possible.

Jennifer hadn't stayed long after Brian came home. Justin introduced them to one another quickly when he came in. Brian, figuring they needed a little more time alone, had gone to take a shower; when he came out, she was gone and Justin had relayed their conversation to him. Brian was possibly more shocked than Justin but still felt apprehensive about Justin so easily forgiving his parents. He didn't tell Justin that, though. There was no way he wanted to rain on Justin's parade. He wouldn't, at least not about that.

"Randall called while I was on my way back from dropping off Gus."

Justin tensed and stopped chopping. "What did he want?"

"Tomorrow they're starting the transfer of funds for the campaign."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah, but he's also coming to town next week. He wants to see what we've come up with."

"Let me guess," Justin said, "he's bringing Irene?"

Brian nodded. "And he wants us all to get together."

"Why are you so worried about it?" Justin asked. "We're actually married now and he signed a contract, he can't go back on it if you say no to the dinner."

"I said yes," Brian explained. "And that isn't the worst part."

"Oh what?" Justin asked. "Don't tell me they want to come here. I love cooking but..."

"They're moving here," Brian interrupted.

"Okay."

"Justin, they're moving here and he certainly can go back on the contract he signed. There are certain stipulations that if he isn't satisfied with Kinnetik then he can terminate the contract."

"And by not being satisfied with Kinnetik, that means not being satisfied with you?"

"Precisely."

"What he's doing can't be legal," Justin said. "He's practically blackmailing you into..."

"Being his friend?" Brian asked. "Cause that's about all I can come up with."

"He forced us to get married," Justin reminded.

"He forced us to invite him to the ceremony."

"So what if they're here. They aren't that bad."

"Justin, if we're going to be around them, then I'm going to have to..."

*buzz buzz*

"Oh, shit!" Justin jumped and ran toward the windows, looked down and saw his mother and sister standing outside the building. "They're here early. Christ!"

Brian sighed and grumbled, "Guess this means no face fucking?"

Justin ran back over to the kitchen and planted a kiss on Brian's lips, his hand cupping his crotch. "Later. I promise."

*****



"...and you should totally come and see me play because Mom and Tucker are just embarrassing and Dad never comes ‘cause Geo's so little and Christine says that Geo isn't big enough to be around a big group of people cause he could get sick real easy and he doesn't like loud noises like the buzzers and cheering anyway and I don't really care if they come anyway ‘cause I told all my teammates that you're this totally cool artist and they can't wait to meet you and Candice will probably think you're so super cute cause she has a thing for blond guys and..."

"Molly," Jennifer cut off her daughter's ranting, placing her hand on her knee, "pause and take a breath. Justin probably couldn't follow half of what you've said."

Molly's face flushed pink and she placed her hands over it. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Justin put his arm around Molly and took her hands away from her face. "Don't worry about it. I heard it all. I haven't talked to you in years so you're entitled to be excited and talk as much as you want."

"Are you gonna make up with Dad?" Molly asked.

The question startled Justin; he had no idea what he wanted to do about Craig. When his mother had told him all about Craig's new life, it had made him so angry. He didn't care if his father had tried to find him, he'd also been sleeping around with his secretary during Molly's chemotherapy and that just wasn't okay.

"Molly," Jennifer warned, "that isn't any of your business."

"But he's our dad and Justin hasn't even seen Geoffrey. He's gotta make up with Dad if he's gonna see our new baby brother," Molly said pointedly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Molly, remember how it took you a long time to like Christine and longer to not be angry with her having a baby. It's going to take a long time for Justin to get used to the way things are right now with our family," Jennifer spoke. "What goes on between your dad and brother is their business."

"But..."

"Mom's right," Justin said. "Until I talk to Dad myself, can you promise to stay out of it? We....he doesn't know me now and there's a lot of grown-up stuff we have to deal with."

"You just have to say sorry," Molly said, tears swimming in her eyes. She didn't want her brother to go away again. "Just say you're sorry for what you did to make him mad."

"It isn't that easy," Justin said, hugging his sister. "Now what day is your next game?"

Molly lit up in excitement again. "Oh, well there's one next week but you don't have to go to that one because..."

*****



Brian slid his hands down over Justin's naked back. "Your sister is just like you. She never stops talking."

Justin looked over his shoulder. "You're not seriously talking about my sister when you're about to fuck me, are you?"

Brian pushed Justin down onto the bed. "Shut up."

"You're the one that was talking first," Justin said, gripping the sheets and swaying his ass. "Come on, fuck me already, Brian."

Brian held Justin's cheeks apart and stared at the tiny slick hole he'd spent the last half hour opening up with his tongue and fingers, driving Justin crazy when he refused to allow him to cum. "You're sure you want it?"

"Briahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Fuck!"

Brian draped his body over Justin's and kissed the side of his face. "Now stay still," he whispered. "I'm going to fuck you hard and fast. Do you want it like that?"

Justin sucked in a deep breath and tried not to come. He was so fucking close. "God yes," he groaned, tightening his ass around Brian's cock. "Hard and fast."

Brian gripped Justin's hands in his and started pounding into his body. He never stopped or slowed his pace, just hammered his cock in and out of Justin's hole, losing himself in the act of sex, pushing away all the words that wanted to break out of his mouth, and demanded his brain only to accept the feelings he allowed. The tight heat of Justin's ass, the slick skin moving under him, the tongue and teeth against his as he kissed him, those things he could allow to affect him.

"Brian!" Justin yelled, slapping his arm behind him at Brian. "Stop!"

Brian stopped thrusting and realized that he hadn't even felt his orgasm. He was bathed in sweat and so was Justin. There were bite marks all along Justin's back, scratch marks up and down his shoulders and arms. And his dick was still hard, but there was cum rushing up the latex around his cock. "Shit." He slowly pulled out of Justin's hole, gripping tight to the condom.

Justin moaned in pain as he flipped onto his back and stared up at Brian worriedly. "Are you all right?"

Brian looked down at his cock and blinked. He had no idea how long they'd fucked, he'd lost track of time and space, and he barely remembered anything about it.

Justin gingerly sat up and touched Brian's shoulder, kissing his jaw. "You okay?" he asked, taking the condom off Brian's cock and throwing it on the floor.

Brian looked down and saw that Justin's stomach had imprints of his fingers where he'd gripped his hips to pull him back onto his cock and his arms and shoulders had scratches from his fingernails scraping down them. "I should be asking you that," he said in a gruff voice, his fingertips touching the spots on Justin's hips and stomach.

"I'm fine," Justin assured. "But you were about to fuck me again without changing the condom."

Brian's eyes widened as he realized Justin was right. "Fuck!" he slid off the bed and stood up, staring at Justin with a horrified expression. "I...I...."

Justin smiled and grabbed Brian's hand. "It's okay. It was an accident and you stopped, get another condom and you can continue where you left off."

"You liked it?" Brian asked.

"I told you I wanted you to fuck me fast and hard," Justin said. "Jeez, what's going on with you? You fuck me like that all the time. I'm okay."

"But you're all scratched and you're going to bruise and..."

"Shh." Justin pulled Brian closer to the bed. "You're all banged up too. This is from this morning." He ran his hands down Brian's sides and his fingertips danced over the bruises on Brian's hips. "These are from Friday, right?" he asked, indicating the scratches near Brian's nipples.

Brian looked down and saw the tiny circular bruises on his hips and the aftermath of Justin playing with his nipples. "Yeah," he breathed out, feeling ridiculous.

Justin bent down, kissed the bruises, and then stood up to kiss the scratches on Brian's chest, laving his nipples with his tongue before pulling back. "Now you do mine and then maybe you can have your surprise."

Brian was confused. "What?"

Justin flopped down onto the bed and made Brian sit down beside him. "You really lost it, huh?"

Brian blinked a few times. "What?"

Justin kissed across Brian's face. "You got lost. You fucked and fucked and fucked until you fucked yourself into a mind-fuck where the whole world fell away."

Brian gulped and nodded. "I lost it all right. I didn't even realize I'd come," he said, a bit in awe. That had never happened to him before that he could ever remember, not even when he was high or rolling.

Justin smiled and straddled Brian's legs, licking a long stripe up his neck to his lips. He spoke against them, "That's okay you know. That place you were lost in, it was me."

"Justin, don't..." Brian closed his eyes and opened his mouth wider as Justin kissed him, his tongue stroking the roof of his mouth. It was an erotic, perfect kiss that weirdly brought him to his senses. "Justin," he said, pushing the younger man's face away. "Justin?"

Justin smiled at Brian, waiting for whatever it was the man was going to say.

Brian stared at Justin and realized that while he pushed away the truth while he had fucked him, it had found him anyway. Justin Taylor had come into his life less than a month ago and had done something to Brian that he couldn't explain or deny. 

Whatever he'd done had made Brian feel more out of control than he'd ever felt in his life. His entire life, as he'd known it a month ago was completely changed. He wanted to ask Justin how he did it. But he realized that Justin wasn't going around begging for romance or asking for anything more than Brian was giving him. He didn't act as if he was trying to get Brian to fall in love with him. But Brian knew that he was and feeling that for Justin, feeling something he didn't believe in before, that wasn't the scary part. The most terrifying thing was that Brian didn't think the feeling was mutual. Just yesterday Justin had talked about where he'd like to live once they divorced. He was looking forward to being on his own. Without him.

Justin felt Brian shaking and wrapped his arms around him. "You're freaking me out."

Brian hated that he'd made Justin frown and worry and wasn't the fact that he cared about Justin in ways that he shouldn't enough to make him run? But again, he wasn't running because it felt too good to be with Justin while he could. He'd so seamlessly acted like the doting husband in front of Jennifer and Molly. But he hadn't had to try at it like he had before in front of Randall and Irene, it had been easy and that just wasn't okay. "I'm okay," Brian said, clearing his throat. "Just... cold." He gently pushed Justin off him and smiled reassuringly. "Come on, let's go take a shower, the sweat is cooling and I need to warm up."

Justin knew that Brian was avoiding whatever it was he had been about to ask or tell him. He knew that Brian wasn't one for heart-to-hearts and whatever he wanted to say would eventually come out. He'd just have to be patient and try to not worry about whatever had Brian acting weird. He followed Brian into the bathroom and got into the shower behind him. Brian pulled him into the hot spray and proceeded to suck the life out of him through one hot kiss, and Justin's worries washed away.


Chapter 14 - The Better Side of Worse by galeandrandy

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ Henny Youngman

*****

 

Friday, April 16, 2005

Brian had to admit that Justin had been right about the Lewises. It wasn't terribly horrible having them live in Pittsburgh. They had only met them for dinner one time and after going live with the new hotel's commercial, he hadn't heard from Randall. That was two weeks ago and Randall had extended a future invitation for he and Justin to come to their new home once Irene had the place decorated to her tastes. Brian had silently hoped the woman would take months, but apparently that wasn't the case. She was now on the phone with Justin talking about the menu for their dinner party.

Brian felt sick as he watched Justin sift through a family recipe book his mother had brought over for him on her second visit with Justin. She had also brought along a card congratulating them on their marriage, a crystal dinnerware set that had been her grandmother's and three picture albums that Justin had quickly hidden away. That was the day that Justin had stepped over the line they'd both agreed to draw. He'd watched as Justin jumped over that line the moment he his mother told him how proud she was of the life he had with Brian.

At the time, Brian had been so used to Justin's act that he didn't think anything of it. But after his mother left, Justin had babbled about how excited he was that his mother trusted him enough to give him the dishes. He starting talking about all the things he wanted to do with his life, his mother's approval, acceptance and trust vaulting him into believing in himself the way Brian had wanted for him. But it was all wrong. Justin wasn't supposed to get confidence and hope from a mother who'd abandoned him and who approved of a make-believe life.

Brian had no idea what to do about it so he kept quiet about most of the domestic shit because he didn't mind the good meals just cooked or the hot sex which awaited him after work every night. He certainly wasn't going to add marital squabbles into their ‘relationship' because that would make it all worse if he did address it. He had been sure that at some point Justin would snap out of it but Brian couldn't wait any longer. He wasn't ‘so excited' to see Irene and Randall's home, not like Justin was, and he didn't want to sit around all night hearing about it.

The moment Justin got off the phone, Brian tossed aside the magazine he'd been unable to focus on reading due to Justin's over enthusiastic phone conversation. They hadn't been out to Babylon or Woody's all week because Brian had been working late, and after dinner and fucking Justin, he had been too exhausted to go out dancing. Tonight though, he needed something different. More than that, he needed to remind Justin that even though they were married on paper, he wasn't committed to him and there was no future with them. "Come on, we're going out," he said, refusing to look at Justin as he passed by him and walked into the bedroom.

Justin sighed, wondering if he should call and cancel his plans. A few weeks ago he'd enlisted Melanie's help in understanding the legalities of his court probation and the limitations on him creating and selling art. They learned that unlike what Justin had thought, the limitations focused solely on painted works. As soon as he was able to find a reputable agent to represent him, he would be able to create and sell anything he wanted as long as it was original or labeled as a reproduction. After that was cleared up, he gave into Michael's constant requests and agreed to meet with him tonight and hash out ideas for an original comic book hero.

However, Brian hadn't wanted to go out all week and Justin didn't want Brian to be tempted to fuck some random trick if he weren't there. It's not like Justin cared who Brian fucked, really, he didn't. But only yesterday he and Brian had met at the Liberty Diner for lunch and ran into three different men who worked for the Lewises. One was Randall's personal driver and the other two worked in their home. They knew on sight who Brian and Justin were and Justin worried that if Brian went out searching for anonymous sex, he might be seen by one of the men and blow apart the charade they'd been painfully performing in public.

Brian glanced into the mirror after he changed into a navy blue form fitting tee and saw in the reflection that Justin was standing in the doorway staring at him. "What?"

"I wasn't planning on going out tonight, Brian. I was going to stay home and..."

"Of course you were!" Brian turned and pushed past Justin. He grabbed his wallet and keys from the dresser, stuffed them in his jeans pocket and grabbed his boots from the closet.

Justin rubbed the back of his head where it hit the door jam. He knew Brian hadn't meant to hurt him and probably didn't realize he had, but it still pissed him off. "Jesus, you don't have to go all caveman on me!"

This was all the more reason why he had to remind Justin that they weren't a real couple and never were going to be one. "So are you taking the role of the cave wife now or are you going to tell me you have a headache and can't fuck when I get back?"

Justin hadn't thought for a second that Brian would get so upset just because he almost suggested staying home. He hadn't actually decided but now that Brian was flipping out on him he really didn't want to be around him, but he didn't want Brian to ruin everything with his sexual appetite being unsatisfied. "Brian, I'm not some fucking cave wife and if you want a blow job before you go out, all you have to do is ask."

Brian finished tying his shoes and stood up, walking past Justin as fast as possible. He had to get away from him. It was disgusting how accommodating and subservient Justin was being even after he'd bated him. He'd expected Justin to defend himself but instead he'd offered him a blowjob? He didn't know Justin Taylor at all.

Justin ran after Brian and grabbed his arm as he opened the door, pushing him against the wall beside it. He slid up against his body and spoke in a forced sexy drawl, "Brian, just wait a few minutes. I wanted to explain about tonight and it's still early, you have time. You can fuck me if you want before you go out."

Bitter saliva formed in Brian's mouth as he looked down at Justin who was batting his dark eyelashes and pressing his crotch against his leg, practically humping him. Justin was using sex and not because he wanted it. He knew this, despite Justin's advances because with such a large cock, it was impossible for Justin to hide an erection and Brian felt nothing hard against his inner thigh except the zipper of Justin's pants. "You're such a pussy," Brian gritted out, pushing Justin away from him. He pinned him with a piercing glare and before he could think twice the words were spilling from his mouth, "When life doesn't go your way you immediately fall back on whoring yourself. You can offer your holes for me to use all you want and I might just take you up on it once in a while, but no matter how good your job skills are, you aren't ever going to make me into your perfect Stepford husband to make your Mommy and the Lewises proud, so strop trying!"

Brian left and Justin stared at him in shock as the elevator descended. It wasn't until the man was completely out of sight that the impact of the conversation hit him. He slid to the floor against the wall, brought his legs up to his chest and curled in on himself, determined not to cry. He counted inside his head, busying his mind with thinking of that instead of Brian's outburst. In such a short time, he'd forgotten himself, forgotten how to take care of himself and so easily slid back into the roll of a naïve kid.

"Justin? Shit, man are you all right? Where's Brian?"

Justin jumped at Michael's sudden appearance beside him and realized that he hadn't even bothered to close the door. He had gone from counting to doing math equations so he had no idea how long he'd been sitting there, but with the way his ass felt it had to be a while. "I'm... I'm all right," he said, using Michael's outstretched hand to hoist himself to his feet. "Thanks."

Michael shut the door behind him and instructed, "Better set the alarm."

Justin walked over and keyed it in.

"You shouldn't leave the door open and unlocked like that, Brian would..."

"I'm not gonna just let someone come in and rob him, Michael," Justin said through clenched teeth, walking toward the kitchen.

"That isn't what I was going to say," Michael replied, his eyes filled with worry as he gazed at Justin. "I was going to say he would feel horrible if something happened to you. That latch is faulty on the front door, how do you think I got in here? Anyone could come in here and god knows Brian has had dozens of visitors leave this place angry."

Justin didn't know how to respond to that because as it seemed, Michael thought Brian cared a whole lot more about him than he obviously did. Though it was mildly comforting to know he wasn't the only one who had misinterpreted Brian's behavior. He turned and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and asked, "Want a water?"

"I'm fine," Michael said. He took a seat on the sofa and waited for Justin to join him before he said, "But you're not fine. What got you so upset?"

"My own stupidity," Justin said. He grabbed his sketchbook and pencil off the coffee table. "I'm a fucking idiot. So... you want to work on the comic book idea?"

Michael reached out and placed his hand on Justin's knee. "Listen, whatever Brian did..."

"Don't, okay?" Justin brushed away Michael's hand. "I fucked up. It wasn't him."

Michael doubted that. "How did you fuck up?"

"I doubt Brian would like me discussing this with his best friend."

"I'm your friend too," Michael insisted. "We may have had a bit of a rocky start, but we've gotten to know each other well over the last couple of months and believe me when I say, I know the Brian Kinney just fucked me face, and you're wearing it. So spill, what'd the asshole do?"

"It really wasn't him," Justin insisted. "Brian's pissed and yeah, he upset me but..."

"But?"

"I'm a fucking idiot, Michael. He's trapped and he may think it's because of the contract with Lewis Hotels but it's because he feels pity for me and..."

Michael laughed. "Brian doesn't feel pity for you. Believe me. He wouldn't waste his time on that."

"Michael," Justin sighed, "you don't understand."

"No, I certainly don't understand how you two could get married for all the wrong reasons, but you did and now you have to deal with it."

"Yeah, thanks," Justin muttered. "The thing is, we aren't dealing with it. I've... I've let the happiness I've felt infect everything in our lives."

"I'm sorry," Michael said, "but how is allowing your happiness harming your and Brian's lives?"

"Because he thinks I'm trying to turn him into a Stepford fag. He blew up at me tonight because I didn't want to go out with him."

Michael rolled his eyes. "Well, he was there at the diner for lunch when we made plans for tonight."

"Well he forgot and he wouldn't let me explain and then when I offered to give him a blowjob or to have sex before he left, he..." Justin had to tread carefully on how he explained this because Michael knew nothing of his prostitution. "He made it out like I wanted him to fuck me just so he wouldn't go out fucking anyone else."

"Well... that's not a bad idea since those gay guys that work for Lewis go to Woody's and Babylon all the time."

"I know." Justin put his hands over his face and scrubbed at his tired eyes. He hadn't cried, but his eyes still felt like he had.

Michael sucked in a deep breath of surprise as he realized what Justin wasn't saying. "But that was the truth. You didn't want him to fuck anyone else but you."

Justin dropped his hands and twisted them nervously as he looked away from Michael and nodded.

"Jesus," Michael gasped, "you're in love with him."

"No!" Justin protested. "I'm not... it's just... I didn't want him to fuck things up for Kinnetik and I didn't want him to..."

"You didn't want him to break your marriage vows because you've started to believe they were real. They feel real to you."

"God, Michael, what am I going to do? This wasn't supposed to happen? Now he feels trapped and I guess I've been acting all domestic because I was so lost in the act. My mother, she's so proud of me and she hasn't been proud of me in years and even my dad, when I talked to him last night on the phone, he told me that he was glad I'd met someone who loved me because my mom told him, ‘it's obvious how much he loves Justin' and I..."

"You wanted to believe it," Michael finished what Justin was unable to speak. "Who wouldn't want to? Especially when he's so good at pretending too."

"You should've seen me, Michael," Justin said through a pathetic sounding laugh. "I was sharing recipes with Irene Lewis and in my head I was planning what I'd serve for our next dinner party. I almost invited her, here to Brian's home without even asking him. He wouldn't have been able to get out of it because he would've felt obligated to be there. I'm ruining his life, Michael."

"You're definitely not ruining his life. You know, he doesn't have to act like your husband when it's just us around. He treats you no different when you guys come to dinner at ma's house than when he eats with you in the diner or takes you to Babylon. That would confuse anyone into thinking that he's happy. Which I think he is, but you may be right about him feeling trapped, only I don't think he feels like that because he wants out of the arrangement. It's because he's scared shitless that he doesn't ever want out."

Justin burst out laughing, almost hysterically. "Stop, Michael. Really, I appreciate you being a good friend and trying to not make me feel like such a dumbass, but that is just ridiculous. Hell, you're the one who always tells me all the stories about how different Brian was before I met him. I've carried the act into private and he had every right to be pissed with me. There were a few things he said that he shouldn't have, but come on, Brian had seen the way I'd been acting and it freaked him out because he doesn't want to lead me on and when this is all over, he isn't going to want a boyfriend, let alone a husband."

Michael didn't know what else he could say to Justin. Honestly, he didn't want to encourage him when it was possible that Brian would never change, even if he returned Justin's feelings, he may never admit it. The least he could do is help Justin understand why Brian had the views on relationships and love that he did. "I'm sure you've heard references to Brian's childhood, right?"

Justin gulped and nodded. "Your mom told me that his parents abused him."

Michael nodded. "Verbally, emotionally, physically...it was like they just had no other way. There were times that Brian would show up at my house in the middle of the night, bleeding, with a sprain, fracture or broken bones. He got his nose broken so many times that he learned how to set it himself."

"Debbie didn't go to the police?" Justin asked.

"Brian begged her not to, even the times that we took him to the hospital, he'd just tell them that he got roughed up by some bullies in the neighborhood who didn't like him. Besides my mom and me, he spent his entire childhood in fear of the people who were supposed to love and protect him. His mother was, is a drunk who believes he got cancer as a sign from God that he could change his homosexual ways. His dad, he was a drunk too and hit his mom and sister anytime he was pissed at himself for being such a piece a shit. When Brian was an adult, he still had this hold on him. No matter how good Brian did in school as a kid, no matter how great a career Brian had, his father never told him he was proud of him, he just used him for his money."

"Why?" Justin had known a little about Brian's past but he just couldn't place the person Michael was talking about with the man he knew.

"Because no matter what, no matter how many times he failed to get it, Brian wanted his father to love him. And after Jack Kinney died, he realized that wasn't ever going to happen and then his mom goes and tells him that he got cancer because he's gay... so you can imagine how this would make him believe that love is bullshit."

"But he loves you and Gus and the rest of the family," Justin said. "He has to believe in love."

"He loves us, yes, he's accepted that, but there are times that I think Brian still doesn't believe we love him."

"But it's so obvious that you do, even if at times I think you guys let him off the hook too easily."

Michael smiled. "You're right about that. It's a bad habit we've all gotten into because as strong as he looks, Brian Kinney is fragile and we're all a bit subconsciously afraid of breaking him if we push him too hard. But you, Justin, I think you're good for him and you might actually be able to do what none of us has been able to do."

"What's that?" Justin doubted there was anything he could do for Brian in two months that his family couldn't with years of trying.

"Make him believe that you love him and that he deserves to be loved by you."

Justin's eyes widened. "No way, Michael. Didn't you hear me before? Brian doesn't want that with me. He really doesn't. He's pissed just thinking that I am enjoying being married to him. Can you imagine how furious he'd be if I declared my love for him and he had to go on living with me until the divorce knowing that?"

Michael's smile widened. "So you do love him?"

Justin lightly punched Michael's arm. "Shut up, I was speaking hypothetically."

"Uhuh, sure you were," Michael laughed out.

"Really, Michael. Brian has made it abundantly clear what he wants and needs and that isn't me loving him and it certainly isn't me prancing around in private pretending like our marriage is anything more than what we agreed it would be. So forget about all the other shit." He opened his sketchbook and showed Michael the page filled with different renderings of the hero he'd drawn. "What do you think?"

Michael bit his lip to refrain from telling Justin that the ‘hero' looked almost identical to Brian. "I like him."

Justin had noticed Michael's hesitation. "Really?"

Michael nodded enthusiastically. "Really. I like this one the best." He pointed to the image that had slashes through the torso of the costume. "Now, we need to come up with his name because his name is the first part of his personality and we've got to have that before we come up with a story."

Justin yawned, "You're the one with all the comic book knowledge. What do you suggest?"

Michael looked back up at Justin. "I suggest that you go to sleep." He didn't know why he hadn't noticed the circles under Justin's eyes before. "You look exhausted."

"I can work for a little while," Justin said and then yawned once again.

Michael closed the sketchbook and placed it on the coffee table. "I don't think so." Michael stood up and grabbed Justin's hand, making him stand. "We'll get together again and do this when you're not tired and your brain is fresh. What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Well, I'm going to my dad's for dinner," Justin answered, giving in to the fact that he was exhausted. He followed Michael over to the door.

"Oh right, you were telling mom about that yesterday. So it's the first time you'll see him since you lived in Chicago?"

It was much more complicated than that. "Yeah, he's been really busy with his business and with his schedule and with Brian's schedule we just couldn't..."

"You're taking Brian?" Michael interrupted in surprise.

"I don't know about that now. I may just tell him to stay home. I don't want him to have to put on the act more than he has to."

"But this will be your first time you see him after years. You need support."

"I'll be fine," Justin assured, opening the door for Michael. "How about Sunday night?"

"Dinner at Ma's," Michael reminded.

"Right. Monday?"

"That works for me. I close the shop around six, I can come over after that if you don't think Brian will mind us working here."

"He'll probably be working late anyway. He hasn't come home before nine this whole week, other than today, which was still after eight."

"All right, I'll see you Sunday and if Brian doesn't care I'll see you here on Monday night. If he does care we can always camp out in the back room of my shop. I'd suggest that first but I'm doing inventory this week and it's a little cramped."

Michael encircled him in a hug and kissed his cheek before walking out. "Good luck at your Dad's tomorrow."

Justin was surprised at Michael's goodbye hug and kiss, he usually only ever did that with Brian. He hoped that after he did what he had to do, Michael would still be his friend. "Thanks, drive carefully." Justin closed, locked the door and set the alarm. He turned out all the lights, undressed and crawled under the covers, feeling melancholy and just as alone as he'd felt before he'd met Brian Kinney.

*****



"You need to go home." Michael jerked Brian away from the guy he was dancing with and gripped his wrist tightly, leading him toward the exit.

"What the fuck, Mikey?" Brian was drunk, but not drunk enough to have to be led around by his friend.

"I need to talk to you now and I can't even hear myself think in here!" Michael yelled back at him, still pulling on Brian.

Brian reluctantly followed Michael, but only because he knew that if Michael had resorted to dragging him out of Babylon, the reason had to be important. "All right, what?" he asked once they were outside, wrenching his arm away.

Michael pointed to his car across the street. "Come on, I'm taking you home."

Brian stopped walking and started laughing. "Like hell you are!"

Michael put his hands on his hips and glared at his friend. "Brian, come on, get in the car I need to talk to you and I'm not doing it out here." He motioned to all the men waiting in line at Babylon whose gazes were fixed on them.

Brian rolled his eyes. "Fine. But you're not takin' me to the loft. You can take me home."

Michael shook his head. "All right, whatever. Now come on."

Brian followed Michael across the street, happy when he only stumbled twice on the way to the car. He got into the passenger seat and immediately started bitching, "Fuck, how do ya' move this thing?"

"The seat?" Michael asked, slamming his door and starting the car.

"Yeah, this thing," Brian said, his fingers fumbling with the buttons on the side of the seat. "It's too small in here."

Michael sort of thought Brian looked and sounded adorable right then. He took pity on him and hit the button that scooted the seat as far back as it would and then adjusted it so Brian could lie back a little.

"It's like a rollercoaster, Mikey," Brian exclaimed, grinning.

Michael shook his head and felt hopeful. He figured that a happy drunk Brian was better than a depressed or angry one. He pulled out of the parking space and headed toward the 24 hour Dunkin' Donuts. "Let's get some coffee."

"Init' a little late for you to be out?" Brian teased, searching his pockets for his cigarettes.

Michael refused to be baited. He turned on the radio, hoping that would keep Brian occupied until he could get some coffee in him. Coffee seemed to be a miracle cure for whenever Brian was drunk or high. Judging by Brian's state of drunkenness, Michael guessed it'd take one extra-large espresso, two Danishes and a shower to have Brian back to normal.

"I liked that song, Mikey," Brian whined when his friend turned off the radio.

Michael shook his head. "I can't order with that blasting," he replied, while rolling down the window.

Brian crossed his arms and mumbled, "S'gonna be over by the time you're done."

Michael ordered the espresso for Brian, an orange juice for himself and three strawberry-cheese Danishes and turned the radio back on, but kept the volume on low. "Look the song's still on."

"It's almost over anyway," Brian muttered.

Michael paid for the order, put the drinks in the cup holder and took out his Danish before giving the bag to Brian. "Eat."

Brian peered inside the bag and smiled. "I love these." He went about stuffing the entire sweet confection into his mouth in one bite and moaned, "Goooood."

Michael was surprised that Brian wasn't bitching about not eating carbs after seven. Even drunk, Brian would at least try to protest so Michael figured Brian must really need the comfort food. He started off back toward the loft. "So, you must've forgot that me and Justin made plans to work on the comic tonight."

Brian chugged his espresso, washing down his food. "Huh?"

"I was at the loft before I came to Babylon. Me and Justin planned to work on the comic yesterday at lunch," he explained. "When I showed up, he was pretty upset."

"It isn't my fault he changed the rules!" Brian threw the second, half-eaten Danish out of the window. "Now, he wantsa' be just like you and Ben."

"Brian, I talked to him and believe me, he knows that he got caught up in everything and he knows you're angry about it. But he wasn't trying to stop you from going out and getting laid..."

"I didn't fuck no one and it's not ‘cause of him. That guy I was dancin' with is good ole' Randall Lewiseseses's driver. His hubby's visiting friends so he thought we'd be good dance partners so we didn't get in any trouble since my hubby couldn't go out."

Michael patted Brian's leg. "Really, was it so bad not tricking?"

Brian looked at Michael as if he'd grown two heads.

"All right, so it sucked, but Justin's amazing at sucking in a good way, isn't he?"

"When did I tell you that?" Brian asked.

"You just did," Michael laughed. "I think that you could've hired some discreet hustlers if you really wanted to fuck anonymously, but you haven't."

"Cause he's always home, baking and cleaning even though I have a sssservice!"

"It really bothers you that he actually likes living with you, doesn't it?"

"Why would he? Why would anyone?" Brian asked, his words soft.

"Maybe, because he actually cares about you, maybe he even loves you and loves the life he has with you, even if it's not what you two planned. Just because you married for the wrong reasons it doesn't mean that you can't stay married for the right ones." Michael pulled up outside of the loft and parked the car.

Brian thought intently. "Love, you think he's stupid enough to fall in love with me? It's not me. He's gone from living in a shit hole with no friends and a shitty job to living the life of a good wife, that's what he loves."

"Brian, look at me," Michael demanded.

"What?" Brian groaned, looking at his friend.

"Justin knows that he's gone overboard, but do you really blame him? I don't know what kind of life he left in Chicago, but I'd guess it was really bad if he'd marry a stranger to get out of it and it had to be pretty overwhelming."

"So?"

"Don't play dumb. I think you know what Justin left and I know you don't ever want him going back to it. You want him to stay with you but you don't want him acting like the ‘suzy homemaker' he has been, am I right?"

Brian shrugged. "Maybe."

"Well I think he gets that now, so maybe you should relax and see if things change. People can do domestic things without it meaning that they're trying to be a... what have you called me? A hetero-wanna be?"

"Yup," Brian said, grinning. "That's it."

Michael laughed. "Well, I still suck cock and take it up the ass. Just because I like gardening and cooking it doesn't mean I'm trying to be a heterosexual, it means I have other interests than fucking, and Justin does too. Take it easy on him, Brian. He was really upset and he's terrified of you thinking you're trapped with him. He doesn't want to trap you, he just got caught up in everything and he knows he did and he didn't mean to. It doesn't mean that he wants you to be some breeder husband. He's just trying to live through this arrangement with you the best he can."

"You all done?" Brian asked. There were few things he hated more than Michael lecturing him and realizing that he was right.

"I am, until you fuck up again. Now go inside, take a shower and let Justin know that he isn't ruining your life and that you're sorry for queening out on him for not going to Babylon."

"Sorry's bullshit," Brian grunted.

Michael rolled his eyes. "Then apologize in the only way you know how."

Brian leered at Michael. "You want me to fuck him?"

"Whatever works," Michael laughed.

Brian kissed Michael, grabbed his espresso and got out of the car. He looked up at the top floor and saw all the lights were off, which was a good thing, because that probably meant that Justin was already asleep. He had shit to think through and he needed some sleep before they talked.

*****



Justin woke, startled when something wet sprinkled onto his chest. He opened his eyes and saw Brian was hovering above him naked and smelling shower fresh. He rubbed his eyes to clear the sleep from them and when he opened them again he broke out in goosebumps from the intense stare Brian was giving him. If Brian thought he could leave the way he did and come home to use him... 

All thoughts of denying Brian fluttered to the far recesses of Justin's brain as his lips were kissed, so slowly and tenderly that his toes curled. His eyes closed and his legs spread, inviting Brian to lie between them, but the other man didn't move. Justin was growing breathless as the kiss went on, Brian holding the back of his head with one hand, the only connection their bodies shared besides their kiss.

Brian broke away, scooted away from Justin and observed him through lust-blurry eyes. Justin's head was tilted toward him, blinking rapidly and looking dazed. He scanned Justin's body, most of it hidden under the duvet, his legs bent apart, his hard-on tenting the covers. Perfect, Brian thought, having him in my bed is perfect. If he was half-way sober but those thoughts wrenched all the alcohol's affects out of his system. He didn't know what love was, if it could really be described, but there was some heavy feeling within him that refused to leave him every time he saw Justin. He was terrified of it, didn't know if he could ever tell Justin what he felt, but he wanted to.

Justin wondered what Brian was debating with inside of him. Did he not want to have sex with him? "It's okay," Justin whispered, lifting the duvet. "I know you didn't mean it." Sure, he was letting Brian off the hook, but none of that mattered. It'd all change soon anyway.

Brian's eyebrows creased together as he crawled toward Justin and settled between his legs. He dropped down so his upper body laid against Justin's soft, warm skin. His head fell in between Justin's shoulder and neck and he sniffed his scent. He smelled like charcoal and lemonade and it made him laugh.

"What?" Justin asked, pulling Brian's head up.

"Nothing," Brian muttered and then kissed him again, just as he had before.

Their desire took over and they started humping against each other, cocks smashing between their bellies, drawing out drops of pre-cum, while their kiss turned deeper, more demanding on both sides. Justin reached back and grabbed a condom and lube and placed it in Brian's hand. "I need you," he whispered.

Brian had called Justin subservient because he didn't fight with him, but he knew that Justin would fight if he wanted. He had been so relieved though when Justin hadn't denied what they both wanted just because he was angry with him, which he had every right to be. Brian still could hardly believe he'd said those terrible things to Justin. Justin didn't deserve them. He wasn't a hetero-wanna be and he wasn't subservient, he was smart and he was forgiving and who wouldn't love that about someone.

As Brian placed his cock against Justin's hole and pushed just the head inside, Justin's back bowed and he shuddered under him, moaning a beautiful noise that made Brian even harder. He wondered why he'd ever want to tear down such a beautiful man, why he'd want to change him when he was so stunningly perfect the way he was. He knew why, it was because it was his nature and he definitely didn't deserve a man like Justin.

"Come on," Justin said, looking into Brian's eyes and placing his hand in between their bodies, on the shaft of Brian's cock. "Come on."

Brian took Justin's hand away, pressed their chests together and grabbed onto his other hand, pinning both over his head. "I want you to want this," he whispered, holding Justin's eyes.

Justin smiled. "Don't you feel how much I want it?" he asked in a silly voice. "I'm leaking against your skin."

Brian nodded and slid all the way inside Justin's tight warm body. He seated himself there, just as Justin liked, allowing him to get used to the invasion while he peppered kisses all over his face and trailed a tongue around the shell of his ear. "I want you to always want this. I don't want it to be for any other reason."

Justin felt crushed as he realized that he'd done something, he didn't know what, but something big that made Brian think he didn't want him. What made a man, who was always confident about his sex appeal, think that he didn't want him? "I want you," Justin whispered, "I always want you." He wrapped his legs and arms tight around Brian and rocked up against him, tightening his muscles, doing everything he could to show Brian how much he wanted him.

Brian began to move and he kept the pace slow and languid the whole time, savoring Justin's body as he fucked him, kissing him everywhere he could reach and touching every place he knew would bring him pleasure. He was determined to focus on Justin's gratification and show him what he really thought of him, even if it would take all night.

*****


Saturday, April 17, 2005

Justin woke to the smell of bacon and was sure he was dreaming. Then, he realized that Brian probably went to the diner and brought back breakfast. His stomach rumbled as he swung his legs to the side of the bed and looked around, eyes adjusting to bright sunshine pouring in through the windows. He stood, stretched and blearily walked down the stairs of the bedroom.

"Morning," Brian said, smiling and standing in front of the stove.

Justin was stunned at what he was seeing. "Are you... are you making breakfast?"

Brian shrugged and waved at Justin with a spatula. "I do know how to cook. It doesn't always have to be you that cooks. I kind of don't mind it."

Justin slowly walked over and sniffed the air, now smelling the delicious scrambled eggs Brian had in the pan. "Wow." He was totally confused and that confusion went to worry. He had turned Brian domestic! Was Brian really so desperate to keep the deal with Randall Lewis and keep him content enough to have sex that he had turned domestic!

"What's the matter?" Brian asked, seeing the worry on Justin's face.

Justin shook his head and sat down on one of the bar stools. "Nothing."

"Bullshit," Brian said, dishing out the eggs on the two plates on the bar. "Are you worried about seeing your dad today?"

"You remember that?" Justin asked.

"It's a big deal," Brian replied, placing all the bacon he made on the plate in front of Justin. "Eat."

"You don't want any bacon?" Justin asked.

"I ate like five pieces while I was making it." Brian grinned sheepishly, shut off the burners and took a seat beside Justin.

Justin grabbed his fork and took a bite, it was delicious. "So good," he praised.

Brian smiled and started eating. "So what time is dinner at your dad's?"

"Five," Justin replied, "so I can go with you to Babylon after I get back."

"You don't want me to go with you?" Brian asked.

Justin set down his fork and looked at Brian. "I know you don't want to go. We're not really married and you shouldn't have to play the act more than you have to."

Brian swallowed thickly around the food. He knew that Justin wanted him there and sure, this was an easy out, but did he want an easy out? "Is your sister going?"

"She's got practice for something," Justin said.

"So you're going to see your dad for the first time in years, meet his new wife and your new brother alone?"

"It's not a big deal." It was, but Justin didn't want Brian to give up any more of his life for him.

"It is, you need someone there. Besides what would he think if your husband just didn't show up?"

"I don't give a shit what my parents think," Justin said, irritated. "I don't mind going alone. Besides, we'll be getting a divorce soon and I'll have to hear all their bullshit then anyway."

"Well, even if we do get divorced, we'll still be friends. So I'll come with you."

"Okay." Justin went back to eating. Now, he wasn't just trapping Brian, he was doing things for him out of pity. He and Brian wouldn't be, the man had told him that. When it was all over and Brian could be free, he wouldn't think twice about him.


Chapter 15 - No More Pretending by galeandrandy

I'm going to be a happy idiot
And struggle for the legal tender
Where the ads take aim and lay their claim
To the heart and the soul of the spender
Say a prayer for the Pretender
Who started out so young and strong
Only to surrender ~ Jackson Browne

*****

 

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Brian watched from the patio as Justin pushed his little brother in the baby swing in the backyard. Geo was almost a spitting image of Justin, he had his mother's dark hair, but his face was all Justin. He sipped his beer and laughed when Justin started pretending that the baby was kicking him every time his feet would swing toward him.

"Justin tells me you have a son with two of your friends," Craig commented, dropping down into the seat across from him.

"Yes, his name is Gus. We usually spend Saturdays with him but his mothers took him to the zoo today."

Craig nodded and his expression looked worried. "Does he... is he a good father?"

Brian blanched, surprised at the question. "To Gus?"

"Yes, well he is his step-father. I ask because Justin used to say he never wanted to have kids but..." he paused and pointed to his sons and smiled, "he's so good with them. He was always a wonderful brother to Molly."

"Gus and Justin get along well. They've only known one another for a little while though, so he doesn't call Justin ‘Dad'."

"I see," Craig replied and took a swallow of his own beer.

Brian wasn't sure what to make of the man across from him. He had pre-existing issues with the man for how he treated Justin, but ever since they'd arrived for the barbecue, he had been kind, if not a little hesitant and uncomfortable whenever he and Justin would touch or kiss. Brian figured the guy handled his son being gay a lot better than most straight-laced fathers did.

"He didn't have a good example," Craig said, "that's another reason why I wondered."

Brian held himself back from rolling his eyes because if the man expected him to feel pity for him or to disagree, that wouldn't happen. "Justin hasn't ever told me he didn't want kids but I certainly wouldn't let him around Gus if I didn't think he was a good influence on him." He smiled as he thought about their last visit together. "He's a lot more interactive with Gus than I find myself being. He actually gets down on the floor with him and plays cars or trains with him. He's always got some weird game he makes up that makes Gus happy."

"He's very creative," Craig said, laughing. "He used to pretend he was a different animal every day and insist that Jen and I refer to him by that animal's name. I don't remember when he finally stopped doing that. It was probably around the time he picked up a crayon and starting drawing them."

"Brian, do you need another beer?" Christine asked, carrying a large salad out onto the patio.

"No thanks," he said but glanced at Justin's empty one. "I think Justin could use one. But I'll get it."

"I'd better check the hamburgers," Craig said, hopping up. "Would you mind getting me a spatula while you're inside?" he asked Brian.

"No problem," Brian said, disappearing into the house. He needed a moment away from the cutesy-family shit. He walked over to the fridge to grab a beer and stopped in place as he saw magnets holding several pictures of himself and Justin on their wedding day. They were there amongst all the other family pictures Christine and Craig had placed on the fridge and oddly enough, they didn't look out of place. Brian tossed that thought out of his mind, grabbed a beer and went after looking for the spatula.

Outside, Justin was bringing Geo up to the patio. "Where'd Brian go?" he asked, handing his brother to Christine who placed him in his high chair.

"He went to grab you another beer," Craig answered.

"He seems so devoted to you, Justin," Christine said genuinely happy. "Your mother told me..."

"You talk to my mother?" Justin asked.

"They have a better relationship than we do," Craig muttered.

Justin's eyes widened. "What did she say about me?"

"Not much, just how in love you and Brian are. We're all so happy for you, Justin. I hope you know how much I desperately wanted to meet you. I know your father..."

"Do you need anything else from the kitchen?" Brian asked, interrupting the conversation as he stepped out on the patio.

"Oh, I'll just go in and get the plates and silverware," Christine said, "go ahead and sit down, Brian. You're a guest."

Brian handed Craig the spatula and then handed Justin his beer, kissing his forehead as he did. "You all right?" he whispered, noticing that Justin looked pale.

Justin nodded and grabbed his hand. "Yeah, thanks."

Craig soon served the burgers, and as everyone ate, the conversation drifted toward Justin's schooling. "I'm glad you're able to go back to school, Justin," Craig commented.

"Well, the University of Pittsburgh isn't my first choice, but I'm hoping that if I take some classes there and do well maybe somewhere else might let me in," Justin explained. "I'd really like to go to PIFA but that probably won't ever happen."

Brian winced. "Well you never know until you apply," he said, brushing his hand along Justin's bare arm. "You should try Carnegie Mellon. Ben says their art program is intense but he thinks you'd do well there."

"Well, Ben doesn't know why I probably won't get in," Justin said, taking a bite of his burger. He didn't want to discuss his future with Brian because there wasn't going to be one.

"Well, it's too bad you're married and living here in Pittsburgh," Craig joked. "You know I've got all those alumni friends who are constantly shelling out money at Dartmouth for one thing or another. You'd be able to get in there easily."

Brian bristled at the thought of Justin going out of state. "Well our friend Ben is tenured at Carnegie Mellon. If Justin thought he was ready, he might be able to help him with the admission process." He leaned over to Justin and kissed him, uncaring of the food his husband had yet to swallow.

"Well I think that means he wants Justin to stay," Christine said, laughing and fanning herself.

Justin pulled away from the kiss and blushed furiously, knowing that Christine couldn't be further from the truth. It was all pretend for Brian and that was just good acting.

 

*****



Monday, April 18, 2005

"Jungle Man?" Justin suggested. He worked up a quick sketch of a man in a loin cloth with vines as fingers and snakes for his hair.

Michael laughed. "I think he might work as a villain, but not for a hero. That'd be too Tarzan."

Justin stared off toward where Brian was on a yoga mat in the middle of the loft doing push-ups. He had sweat dripping off his glistening golden skin and his arm muscles strained with exertion. Brian had ear buds in and the Ipod attached to a Velcro band on his arm. Occasionally, he'd hear Brian let out his breaths to a beat and it reminded Justin of the way Brian breathed during sex. He shifted in his chair at the computer and adjusted his hard-on.

Michael rolled his eyes and smiled as Justin's attention was diverted for the hundredth time by Brian exercising. "We're so doing this at my shop next time," he said.

Justin looked back over at Michael and took his hand away from his crotch. "Sorry."

"S'okay." Michael leaned back in his chair and whispered, "Who wouldn't be captivated by that."

Justin laughed. "You're a married man."

Michael grinned wider. "And lucky for you, you're married to that man. Not that my man isn't perfect and gorgeous."

"So true," Justin said. "Ben is gorgeous. But Brian... he's like exactly what I always..."

Michael laughed but stopped when he saw Justin's expression turn sour. "It's okay to love him."

"No," Justin whispered, "it's not."

"Justin, just because he may not tell you it..."

Justin's cell phone rang, interrupting Michael and saving him from another conversation that would give him far too much hope. He'd already set his mind to what he was going to do, nothing would change it. "I've got to get this," he said, looking at the display. "It's Irene Lewis."

"Sure," Michael said and went back to sifting through Justin's sketches.

"Hello?" Justin answered the call.

"Justin, how are you sweetie?" Irene asked.

"I'm good."

"I know it's late, I hope I'm not interrupting your and Brian's evening."

"No, it's fine. What do you need?"

"Well, you said that you and Brian really enjoy red wine, right?"

"That's right."

"Well I was on my way to buy some now and I was wondering if you or Brian had a favorite?"

"I don't. But give me just a minute and I'll ask Brian." Justin put the phone on mute and walked over to Brian. He squatted down in front of him to get his attention.

Brian ripped the ear buds out. "What?" he asked.

"It's Irene on the phone; she wants to know if you prefer a specific kind of red wine for the party tomorrow."

Brian got to his feet and growled, "I don't fucking care. Tell her any kind is fine."

Justin sucked in a deep breath as he stood up and took the phone off mute. "Irene?"

"Yes, sweetie."

"Brian says any kind is fine."

"All right then. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, bye." Justin hung up the phone and slipped it back into his pocket.

"Jesus Christ!" Brian yelled, pacing the loft. "I can't even fucking get any peace in my own home. They've got to fucking call here and demand the stupidest shit for this fucking farce of a little dinner party! God damnit! Do I look like a breeder?" He threw off his iPod and stalked up the stairs to the bathroom and slammed the door closed. 

Justin slowly turned toward Michael. "Fuck."

Michael giggled. "He'll cool off."

"Yeah," Justin mumbled and sat back down beside Michael, "in a few days."

"Hey, it's not like you're the reason he flew into that rage," Michael said. "That was all Irene's fault and it's his fault for lying in the first place."

Justin's imagination went wild as Michael continued to prattle on about Brian. He grabbed his sketchbook and his hand flew across the page. In a matter of minutes the image of Brian as a superhero was drawn. He finished off the drawing by writing four letters at the top and handed it to Michael.

"Rage!" Michael said excitedly. "Oh my god! This is perfect!"

"It's genius," Justin said, his mood lifted as the act of creation encompassed him. "Let me see that, I want to change his costume."

Michael watched as Justin made a lightening bolt like slash mark across the superhero's chest and then made it look like his suit had been torn in that shape. "Holy shit! You're amazing, Justin!"

Justin smiled smugly as he stared at the superhero. "Rage: Gay Crusader."

"But why? What's his story?" Michael asked.

Justin shrugged. "Well... we'll have to think of one, won't we?"

Michael nodded excitedly. "Yes. We will."

Justin yawned. "I'm pretty tired, why don't we take a few days to think about the story?"

Michael hugged Justin and stood up. "Sounds good. You've got to calm Rage, right?"

Justin shrugged and said, "Maybe." He walked Michael over to the door. "This was fun."

"It was. Hey, you never did answer my question though, you were sketching so fast you probably didn't even hear me."

"What?"

"Well, Brian's birthday is Wednesday, what are you doing for him?"

Justin paled but replied. "I'm going to give him what he needs."

Michael grinned deviously. "I don't think I want to know what that means."

"Probably not," Justin said, trying to keep his voice normal. "We probably won't be too busy though so plan on going out with him that night."

"With you both," Michael corrected.

"Yeah," Justin lied and opened the door. "See you, Michael."

"I've got a lot of stuff going on this week so you should just stop by the comic book shop this weekend if you can and we'll see if we can figure out a story for RAGE."

"Sounds good," Justin said, hoping that Michael wouldn't throw him out when he did.

 

*****



Tuesday, April 19, 2005

"So... what are you doing?" Brian asked.

"Why are you calling me for the fourth time in like two hours? Are you really that bored at work?" Justin asked.

"Fuck you. I need a blowjob but phone sex will work, are you home yet?"

Home. "No, I just walked out of PITT's admissions office."

"So, how'd it go?"

"Not good. Due to a bunch of bureaucratic details, I won't be able to start until the Fall." Details that Brian didn't need to know anything about.

"Well then maybe you should just try Carnegie Mellon?" Brian suggested. "It wouldn't hurt to apply."

"I will," Justin lied, he figured one more on the many won't hurt.

"So, are you going home now?" Brian asked, stroking his dick. He'd been hard since he left the loft for work. Justin had been sleeping so peacefully that Brian hadn't wanted to wake him. Doing without his morning orgasm had given him a case of blue balls and he needed it cured immediately.

"No, I'm going to put applications in around town. I might even try the diner."

"You're going to get a job at the diner?" Brian asked, appalled with the idea. "Whatever for?"

"Brian, we talked about this. I'm not going to live off you. I can't do that. Besides, if I'm not able to start school until the fall I need to do something. I can't sit around the house all day."

"You don't just sit around. You've been working on your art, which is..."

"I can still work on my art," Justin cut in. "I'd like to have a normal job. It's been a while."

"You'll have that once you and Mikey get the comic book going," Brian told him.

Justin was getting more than a little aggravated. "Brian, we don't even have a story idea, let alone a way to publish the thing."

"You and Mikey spend time figuring out the story. I shouldn't have to remind you that you're married to a man whose company has access to everything you need, most importantly top-notch advertising. That's what you need to be doing with your time, not working in a diner."

"Brian, I don't need you to dictate what I do with my time. I'm finally free to live my life the way I feel is best for me. I appreciate that you want me to focus on the comic and I will, but it's my decision, no one else's. If I want to wait tables at the diner, then that's what I'm going to do." Justin was two seconds away from throwing his cell phone out of the Jeep's window.

"I never said you did," Brian yelled back. "You're being childish. I'm trying to help you and..."

"You're trying to stop me from getting a job, and I don't need your permission to get one. Are you worried that I'll go back to my old profession and fuck a guy for more tips?" Justin parked the Jeep in front of the diner and rested his forehead on the steering wheel.

"Jesus, Justin, no! That's not what I'm worried about. I just want to see you succeed, and working at a diner isn't going to do anything for your career."

Justin could hear the sincerity in Brian's voice but it wasn't enough to deter him from his next, softly spoken statement, "We're only friends, not spouses, so what I do with my career doesn't factor into your life."

"You know when you're angry it makes me hot and the case of blue balls I have is only getting worse. Why don't you pick me up some lunch while you're at the diner and bring it by the office when you're done?" Brian suggested in a sultry tone.

Justin sighed and managed to laugh at Brian's abrupt change in conversation. Whenever anything got too personal that was Brian's way to deal with it, but Justin didn't really mind. He was glad for the change of subject too and would love to relieve Brian and himself of some sexual tension, but he had more important things to take care of. "I can't. I've got too much to do today and tonight we're having dinner with Randall and Irene."

"Well I was planning on going there directly from the office..."

"I know, you told me last night," Justin interrupted.

"Oh, well why don't you meet me here early and we'll go over together."

Justin wanted to believe that the reason Brian was so adamant about seeing him had more to do with than just sex, but he knew that wasn't possible. "I can't. I'll just meet you there, okay?"

"Fine. Later."

"Later." Justin sucked in a deep breath and tried to ignore his heart aching as he closed the phone. He had to stick to his plans; it was what was best for the both of them.

Justin walked into the diner and spotted Debbie at the back waiting on Emmett and Ted. He waved at them but took a seat at the bar. He had things to do and he didn't need to get sidetracked. When Debbie walked his way, he plastered on a smile. "Hi Debbie."

"Hey, Sunshine," Debbie said, pen poised over her order pad, "what can I get ya?"

"I've already had lunch but I'd like to fill out an application please."

Debbie put the pad and pen in her apron and placed her hands on her hips. "Now why do you want an application? Just last night at dinner you were saying you're going to be starting school and that comic book with Mikey. How ya' gonna find time to work when ya' got that going on?"

Justin resisted the urge to tell Debbie that it wasn't any of her fucking business and gathered his thoughts before replying, "I'm not going to be able to start school until the fall and even then I'll need a job to support myself."

"With all the money that Brian's made with that deal I wouldn't think that you'd need a job."

"Brian and I are married in name only," Justin whispered the reminder. He started to slide off the stool and said, "If you don't want to give me an application then..."

"You sit down, Justin," Debbie said, grabbing his hand. "You don't need to be filling out an application ‘cause you're hired."

Justin smiled, his first real smile of the day. "Really?"

"We need a new waiter, Nickie quit on me a few days ago without notice. In case you can't tell, we're swamped."

"Then I guess I came by at the right time," Justin said.

Debbie grinned. "You do have experience dealing with customers, right?" 

"Yes, yes I do," Justin said, grinning.

*****



"Justin, so good to see you," Irene exclaimed and enveloped him in a hug.

"You too," Justin said, nervously embracing the woman that had been so kind to him.

"Come inside, sweetie," Irene said, leading Justin into the large foyer.

Justin looked around the immaculately decorated space in awe. "It's beautiful."

"Well, once Brian gets here I'll give you both the tour," Irene told him. "Randall's waiting in the living room for us. I'm very curious as to why you want to talk to us before Brian comes. I've been worried since you called this morning."

"I'm sorry about that. I'll explain in a minute." Justin squared his shoulders and reminded himself of why he was doing this and followed the woman into the huge living room. Randall stood up from his leather wing backed chair and shook his hand as he entered. "Good to see you, Randall."

"You too, Justin. Irene said you sounded upset on the phone," he replied. "We've been worrying about you and Brian."

"I know," Justin said, sitting down beside Irene on a large plush white sofa. "I really don't want you to worry about me; you both have been so good to me and Brian." He felt himself choking up and dug inside of himself for strength. "It's just that we... or more like me... I haven't been very good to you."

Irene placed her hand on Justin's shoulder and rubbed it. "Whatever do you mean by that, Justin? You've been a joy to both me and Randall. You and Brian. We've enjoyed spending time with you and loved meeting his family."

"I know," Justin said. "But you don't understand. I've been lying to you."

Randall sighed and stared at Justin. "Son, I think it's time you told us the truth then."

"I want to," Justin said, his voice cracking. "But I... I need you to promise me that you won't hurt Brian."

"Hurt Brian!" Irene gasped. "Randall and I would never..."

"But if I tell you the truth about us..."

"Justin, it's all right," Randall interrupted the boy and walked over to sit beside him. "Whatever you have to tell us, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you or Brian. You boys have become very important to Irene and me. You're like family to us."

"But..."

"No buts," Irene said, rubbing his shoulder again, "tell us what you need to, Justin. We're listening."

*****


"You're still here," Cynthia said, walking into Brian's office.

Brian looked up from his computer and muttered, "You see me, don't you?"

Cynthia laughed and walked closer to Brian's desk and noticed the piles of paperwork on his desk. "I didn't know Inspire Publishing was shopping."

"When has that ever stopped me?" Brian asked. He reached out and gathered the rest of the papers. "Shouldn't you have left already?"

"I was working on the Roles Account." Cynthia sat on the edge of Brian's desk. "So I guess I won't be seeing you tomorrow."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Ted told me it's your birthday. How is it that after all these years I didn't know when your birthday was?"

"Because I've taken great pains in keeping you from doing something stupidly sentimental such as throwing me an office birthday party," Brian snipped.

"As if I ever would've," Cynthia said. "So Justin isn't planning something special for you?"

Brian rolled his eyes. "Why would he?"

"Because he's your husband."

"Well, you're well aware that we aren't married because we want to be. Justin's let me know that; he's well aware of it too." Brian hadn't meant to add that last part. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said, dismissing Cynthia.

"And that pisses you off?" Cynthia asked.

"Why should it?" Brian asked.

"I think you had other reasons for marrying him. You can talk your way out of anything, Brian. You could've had your ‘fiancé' break things off with you. That would've solved everything."

Brian glared at the woman. "You think it's that simple?"

"No," Cynthia replied, hopping off the desk. "I don't and you don't either. Brian, I've known you for a long time and I've seen you do some pretty ruthless things to gain clients and I know how you treat your tricks. None of that seems to add up when it comes to Justin and your marriage. You've been really agitated the last two weeks or so but before that... well, I haven't ever seen you so happy."

"Cynthia," Brian growled, "Leave. Now."

Cynthia backed away out of the office, but before she closed Brian's door she said, "Whatever it was that made you so happy, you shouldn't spoil it."

Brian pushed away from his desk, refusing to let Cynthia's psycho-babble get to him. But as he cleaned his desk of the all papers he'd printed out about publishing and marketing a comic book, he had a sinking feeling in his gut that she knew what the fuck she was talking about. He didn't know exactly what to do with that knowledge. He had married Justin and it was true, he didn't have to. He could've gotten out of his lies so easily. And the question of why he didn't, why he wasn't thinking clearly enough to do so, he couldn't find an answer for.

*****



Justin wiped away his tears, ashamed that he'd allow himself to fall apart as he confessed the truth to Randall and Irene. "Please," he begged, "don't break your contract with Kinnetik. He knew the kind of life I was living and even though he may not ever admit it, he married me to get me out of the hell I was in. I was a perfect stranger and he wanted to give me a better life and risked his own life and company to do it."

"Justin, we knew the truth," Randall said softly.

Justin jumped up from the couch and turned to stare at the Lewises. "What?"

Irene nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes that the young man's story had brought on. "We were well aware of who you are and who Brian Kinney was. That was one of the reasons Randall was wary of doing business with Kinnetik."

"I...I don't understand," Justin gasped and began to pace. "What do you mean?"

"I had my assistant do research on Brian when he first tried to get an appointment with me," Randall said. "I wasn't sure that a man who lived such a reckless personal life could be trusted with my company. When he lied to get me to meet with him, I figured that I'd give him the meeting, gauge what I thought of him and go on my way if I didn't like it."

"But then we heard about you, and Laura, the lady at the front desk who was there the first night you came, she called to tell me about you. We'd noticed you a few times before with other men at the hotel. I knew what you were doing there but you hadn't ever caused any trouble before, so I told Laura to go ahead and let you up to Brian's room."

"She'd said that she had to make sure all visitors checked in," Justin said, recalling that night perfectly.

"I'm sorry to admit this," Randall said, "but at first it was a bit of a game. I wanted to see how far Brian would go and..." The man looked toward his wife and smiled at her. "Irene fell in love with you. She'd known of your story, Justin, and after you two went shopping together she wanted to do something to help you."

"Oh god," Justin's stomach heaved. "I can't believe this."

"Sweetie, we really didn't plan for everything to go so far but after we saw you and Brian together, the both of us, we're romantics see and we have very good match making skills. During our years of marriage we've put together dozens of couples who are still together to this day," Irene said.

Randall sighed. "I can't tell you how sorry I am for letting things go so far. I know it wasn't right and it certainly isn't what Irene and I usually do to get couples together. Believe me when I tell you this, Justin, we do care about you. We wanted you safe and happy, and seeing you and Brian together... we were so sure that you two could be happy together."

"But we're not," Justin said. "Brian doesn't love me. He hates that we're in this situation. He hates that he's tied down to me. I know he says he did it for your account but I've gotten to know him and it's obvious to me that he could've gotten out of the lies he told you and possibly still secured your account with Kinnetik. He doesn't love me and I've come to realize that I love him too much to keep him in a marriage that he loathes."

"Justin, that can't be true. We've seen the way..."

"But that's just it. It's an act," Justin told them. "It's all pretend. Which is why... I'm going to give him the freedom he gave me."

"No!" Randall said, standing up quickly. "Justin, give him time..."

"Time to hate me more?" Justin asked. "Time for me to fall even more in love with him than I already am, only to be disappointed."

Irene stood too and put her hand on Justin's arm and gently squeezed it. "Sweetie, how could you fall for someone who didn't show you love?"

"Because that's me," Justin said. "It's my biggest fault, Irene. I'm so naïve! I've... I've got to go."

"Justin, please, stay for dinner, wait for Brian and maybe you two can talk after we tell him that we know the truth. And I promise you, I won't feel any different about you and Brian. I'm not going to blacklist him or dissolve our contract, okay?" Randall pleaded.

"And you and I are still friends," Irene told him, extremely worried about the young man who had gone through so much.

"We are still friends," Justin replied with great relief. "But I can't stay. I need time to get my things from the loft before Brian gets there. He's going to be angry at me for telling you the truth, even if you guys aren't mad, he will be. He'll feel like I set him up. And I need some time to myself before I can face him."

"But what will you do?" Irene asked.

"I got a job today at the diner where Debbie works. I start next week. You see, all our friends know most of the truth about us, and I think that they'll see that I'm doing the right thing for Brian. For now, I'm going to stay with my mother for a little while. As you know, she doesn't know about what I did in Chicago and I think... I think I need to be honest with her and with my dad. I don't want to live a life of lies anymore and if they don't want me... then..."

"Then you'll come here," Randall said, "promise me."

"I couldn't," Justin said, "it wouldn't be right."

"It would be fine," Irene told him adamantly. "It'd be the least we could do."

"Okay," Justin said. He hugged both of the Lewises. "After you tell Brian the truth, can you do tell him something from me?"

"Of course," Randall said quickly.

"Tell him... tell him I said thank you."

Irene grabbed Randall's hand as Justin rushed out of the house. When the door slammed closed behind him she turned to her husband. "You need to call Brian, right now."

"But we told him we wouldn't..." Randall said. "Maybe we shouldn't interfere."

Irene gave her husband a shocked look. "He needs us too. They both need us. We have to fix this."

Randall nodded and grabbed his cell phone from his pocket, dialed Brian's number and hoped the man would pick up. They didn't have much time to spare.

"Brian Kinney?"

"Brian, it's Randall."

"What can I do for you?"

"Are you still at the office?"

"I was going to pack up here and head out in about a half an hour."

Randall sighed. "Brian, do you have a minute to talk to me and Irene on speakerphone."

"Uh...yes."

"Are you sitting down?"

"Randall, what's this about?"

Randall clicked the phone onto speaker. "Are you sitting down, Brian?"

"Yes, I am. What's going on? Is there a problem with the commercials because..."

"It's not the commercials," Irene cut him off. "It's Justin and he just sacrificed everything you've given him to give you what he thinks you need, but I think you need him above anything else."

"What?" Brian gasped over the phone. "What did he do?"

"He's giving you the freedom you gave him," Randall replied. "Or so he thinks."

*****

Brian's heart pounded erratically as he threw open the loft door. "Justin!"

Justin zipped his bag up, put it on his shoulder and walked out of the bedroom toward Brian, disappointed that he hadn't been able to trust Irene and Randall. "I'm right here."

Brian looked down at the bag and then back into Justin's eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," Justin said, his voice wobbly. He walked closer to the man but refused to meet his eyes. "You talked to..."

"The Lewises called me," Brian said, his voice much calmer than Justin expected it to be.

"I asked them not to."

"Why? So you could run away?"

"I'm not running away. I'm leaving so that you can have your life back."

Brian grabbed Justin into his arms and shook the bag off his shoulder. "This is bullshit."

Justin shook his head. "Please stop. Please. Just let me leave. I'm sorry I went behind your back and told them the truth, but I had to."

"I'm not!" Brian said pulling Justin tightly against him. He couldn't deny his feelings any longer. He needed Justin, he loved him, and he didn't want to spoil either of their lives. "I'm not," he whispered desperately into Justin's ear.

Justin pushed out of Brian's arms. "I can't stay and be your fuck buddy," he said, voice cracking. "I love you, Brian. I didn't mean to love you. I never believed I could fall in love so easily. It seems ridiculous, given the situation, but I fell in love with you and in the process I made you live a life you never wanted. I made you sacrifice too much of yourself. Randall is going to stay with Kinnetik, so you can keep the account and keep your life. You don't need me. You don't need a whore for a husband. You don't love me and aren't ever going to, so it's better that I just leave."

Brian stepped forward and pulled Justin to him. He forced their mouths together, opened up Justin's lips with his tongue and explored the sweet mouth of the man he had fallen for, trying to pour all his feelings into the kiss. Feeling as if it weren't enough, he pulled away and whispered, "I do."

"What?" Justin said, barely able to stand on his feet. The kiss had sucked out all of his energy.

"I said, I do. To all of it. And for the rest of our lives I never want to hear you call yourself a whore ever again, and I am so sorry that I ever made you feel like you were one. I'm sorry I ever called you that. Having the balls to tell the truth made you a better man than me. If Randall would've called to tell me that you told the truth and that he was canceling the contract with Kinnetik, blacklisting me to everyone... none of that matters." Brian smiled a shy but sublimely happy smile that was only for Justin. "For richer or for poorer, I do."

"You...do?" Justin gasped, gripping Brian's hips.

"I do," Brian laughed. "I don't know how you did it. I don't know how it happened. But, do you remember what you said about your intentions?"

Justin grinned a disbelieving and beautiful smile. "That I had no intention of falling in love with you?"

"Well you know what they say about good intentions, right?"

"What?"

"That sometimes...." 

Justin didn't let Brian finish his sentence. He was too busy devouring the man's mouth and leading him toward the bedroom.

After many rounds of sex that ranged from slow and sweet, fast and hard and always intense, Justin and Brian lay all hot and sticky, cuddled close to one another. Justin ran his fingers through Brian's hair and joined their left hands. "We're going to celebrate two anniversaries," he said quietly.

"Huh?" Brian asked, barely able to stay awake.

"Two anniversaries. The day we got married and the day we really got married." Justin slid up Brian's body and looked down at his wincing face. "But, given that neither one of us wants to give in to those silly romantic traditions we could celebrate something else instead."

"Oh yeah?" Brian asked, his fingers ghosting down Justin's back and over the crack of his stellar ass. "What?"

Justin smiled and tucked his head under Brian's chin. "Our birthdays."

"You know...?"

"Yeah, Michael reminded me about it," Justin said, kissing Brian's throat. "Happy Birthday."

"Mmm..." Brian moaned, his dick coming back to life. He slid his fingers in between Justin's ass cheeks.

Justin winced as Brian touched his tender hole. "Careful."

Brian took his hand away and flipped Justin over onto his back. He straddled Justin and wrapped his hand around his dick and began to pump it. "You want to show me what you got?" he asked, raising one eyebrow.

Justin ran his hands down Brian's chest and tweaked his nipples. Looking into his eyes he said softly, "I'd rather show you what I feel."

Brian rolled his eyes and climbed off of Justin and laid on his back.

Justin turned on his side and grabbed a condom and the lube. "You want it on your back?"

Brian shrugged in nonchalance. "Well, we're equal partners so maybe... maybe you shouldn't be the only one."

Justin's heart soared and he had to blink back his tears. It was all almost too good to be true and for a minute, he wondered if he was being naïve again but then he looked down into Brian's eyes which shone with feelings he knew were mirrored in his own and he let the last binds of his past go. He was in love, he was safe and he was ready to be free with Brian.

*****


Epilogue
4 Months Later


Michael stared at the story Justin had written, his mouth hanging open. "I don't know what to say."

"Oh come on, Mikey, it isn't that badly written is it?" Brian teased from the bar.

"No, it's...it's amazing," Michael said, looking at Justin.

Justin let out a breath of relief. "So, do you think you can turn this into a comic."

Ben had been reading over Michael's shoulder, and he too was deeply affected by the story. "Justin, are you sure you want this made into a comic?"

"Everyone will know that J.T. is you," Michael said, softly. "Everyone."

"I know. But... it's time for people to know my side of the story."

Brian walked over to the sofa, sat beside Justin and wrapped his arm around him. "He has nothing to be ashamed of."

"Of course you don't," Michael said.

"It takes a strong man to survive what you did," Ben added.

Justin nodded. "Which is why I need to tell the truth. And that means I'm going to tell my mom and dad the truth too. I don't want them to see what J.T. had to become to survive in the world the evil professor painted him into without hearing it from me first. That is, if you think this will work for a comic. I mean, you'll have to tell the story the way a comic is told. I have no idea how to do that."

"I can do it," Michael said, "and the comic will be amazing. I was thinking... Rage can use his mind control to force the evil professor into telling the police where his hidden journals are. They'll read them and find out where he's keeping J.T. locked up."

Justin smiled wistfully, "I wish that part was true. I know he kept a journal every day. I always saw him writing in one but my lawyer said the FBI couldn't ever find it."

"They're somewhere," Brian said, "and one day they'll turn up."

"Wait a minute," Ben said, bolting up from his seat. "I have an idea of where they might be."

"What?" Justin asked, wary of getting his hopes up. "How..."

"Justin, you're aware that part of the ‘L' was originally supposed to run underneath your school, right?"

"Yeah, when I first started there I heard stories about parties being thrown down there until the Dean decided to clean it up and..."

"And they started using it as private offices for the Professors who didn't have one," Ben finished. "But the health department came in and kicked them all out of there because of all the mold."

"How do you know this?" Justin asked.

"I was offered a teaching position there about ten years ago and the guide told me about it. He said that some of the professors still camped out down there from time to time because they liked the quiet."

"Oh god!" Justin gasped. "Do you think? Do you think that maybe he did?"

"It wouldn't hurt to find out, would it?" Brian asked.

"But who would listen to me?" Justin said. "I'm not allowed within 100 yards of the campus and the cops won't listen to me. It's been too long. Besides, even if he did keep an office there and put his journals there, he may not have written about his plans for me."

"But what if he did?" Michael said, excitedly.

"A narcissistic asshole like him? You said he was meticulous, right?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, but..."

"Well he wouldn't be the first asshole to document his crimes," Brian said. "It's worth a shot."

"And I bet Carl could call in some favors with some guys in Chicago," Michael told him.

"You think?" Justin asked.

"Like Brian said, it's worth a shot," Ben told him. 

Justin nodded, "Yeah, it is."

"And if there isn't anything there, we still have this," Michael said, pointing to the paper with Justin's story. "You'll tell your story and maybe someone else will come forward."

Justin leaned against Brian and took comfort in his husband's embrace. "Whatever happens, I have hope. Right?"

"And me," Brian whispered into his ear, "from this day forward."

End Notes:

AN: I will revisit this verse in the future; there are still questions that need answers and don't we all want to know what ‘real' married life is like for Brian and Justin? Due to the timeline I set up for this series, there are certain issues that I understand have to be addressed but cannot with a simple epilogue. They need time. And that will come when the muse hits, which it already has, but I'll wait until it's completed in a story to post. But I hope, for now, you enjoy this ending.

This story archived at http://www.kinnetikdreams.com/viewstory.php?sid=283