Life really couldn’t get any worse for Justin. His mom had died when he was young, his dad just didn’t care. So as soon as he turned eighteen he left home. Unfortunately for him, his first day in New York he met Ethan Gold.

At first the dark-haired violinist swept him off his feet. He said all the pretty words he had ever wanted to hear. But all the pretty words turned to hurtful ones later. Along with angry glares at him.

Then, one day it all changed. He hadn’t been feeling well for a little while. He knew that he was in the one percent of men who could conceive. But surely fate wouldn’t do that to him. They were living in a tiny, rat infested efficiency apartment. It wasn’t the type of place to bring up a baby.

The wait for the test too complete was excruciating. Soon, two blue lines materialized in the window of the white stick. In all his life, he had never seen a pregnant man, now it seemed he was one.

He jumped a little when he heard the apartment door open and slam shut. That wasn’t a good sign; it meant the competition, the one Justin was barred from going to see, didn’t go in Ethan’s favor.

Something hit the wall just outside of the bathroom. It was probably something of Justin’s. Maybe his news would cheer Ethan up.

Slowly he opened the door, peeking out. He could see Ethan sitting on the worn and tattered sofa, his head in his hands.

“Ethan,” he said softly, trying not to upset him more.

“What Justin?” his voice was cold.

“I’m sorry things didn’t go well today. I have great news though.”

Ethan lifted his head and glared at Justin. “What? Did Corson call and say he made a mistake and I won?” he asked bitterly.

“Well, no. But this is good news in itself. We’re going to have a baby.”

Ethan snorted. “Look in the mirror again, Princess. You’re a man, not much of one, but you are one. No wittle babies for you.”

“I told you when you said you didn’t like how condoms felt. I told you I am one of the few men who can conceive.”

“That was all BS to get me to wear a rubber. You’re not one of those freaks.”

“No, it’s not BS. I am pregnant, I have the test right here.” He held up the test, it had marked his inner hand because he gripped it so hard during the argument.

“Well, you’re getting rid of it.”

“No, I’m not.”

The next hour left him in a daze. Ethan had thrown him out, without a dime to his name. Well, screw him. He didn’t need him.

He had gotten a job at a diner and a room in a rundown motel. For eight months, he struggled. The motel had finally been condemned. He had lost his job when it became clear he was pregnant and not just fat. When he was down to his last ten, he went back to Ethan’s.

It had gone how he expected. Ethan and his new boytoy had told him to get lost. Justin’s dad was out because he’d kill him if he told him he was gay and pregnant. With the last bit of money, he had he headed to Grand Central, hoping it would be warm.

In the hustle and bustle of people heading home for the Thanksgiving holiday; he got pushed into a train that he wasn’t trying to get on. In fact, he was trying to get to the subway, but his mind was somewhere else and found his way to the train depot instead.

“Tickets, get your tickets out,” a large woman yelled. He would be in trouble if they caught him, even if it was a mistake. He started to make his way to the back of the train, planning to leave through another door. Unfortunately, it started to move. By accident he then bumped into a tall brunet.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized.

The man looked down at him and Justin could swear his heart stopped. In front of him, was the most beautiful man he had even seen.

Just then his arm was grabbed.

“Ticket?” the woman snarled at him.

The handsome man must have seen the panic in his eyes.

“I have our tickets,” the man told her.

After scanning the tickets, she walked off.

“Thank you,” he said shyly.

“It’s fine, come on you can sit with me and my husband.”

Justin inwardly cursed. It figures the perfect man was married. It irked him that the man was gay too. Why couldn’t he be straight? Then he wouldn’t sulk about Mr. Perfect being taken…much.

The man led him to a compartment in the back. All he had in his life was in the book bag over his shoulder. Walking in to the fancy compartment he stumbled a little when the train jerked. The compartment was pretty fancy, so was the man sitting in the plush seat. He looked to be as far along in his pregnancy as Justin. That explained why the handsome man didn’t blink when he saw his pregnant stomach.

“Well, hello,” the handsome man’s husband said. “I’m Brandon. You are?” He raised an elegant, blonde eyebrow.

“Justin, I didn’t mean to intrude.”

The man waved him off. “It’s okay, my husband seems to have a hero complex.”

Justin turned to the handsome man by the door. He just had a roguish smile gracing his face.

“Where’s my pillow?” Brandon asked his husband.

“Sorry, I got distracted.”

“I bet you did. Now shoo and go get my pillow. I swear Ardan Kinney, you got me into this position you better pamper me.”

Ardan smiled before leaving the compartment. It was a sweet moment between them and Justin felt like he was intruding on it. Ardan did seem sweet, Justin liked his men with a little more snark. Maybe Ardan wasn’t the perfect guy then, that made him feel better…a little.

“Come and sit down. Really, it’s okay. Ardan is always bringing home strays.”

That annoyed Justin but before he could get good and lathered up, Brandon spoke again.

“I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. I’m just so uncomfortable, I’m taking it out one everyone. Mostly it’s just been Ardan, I’m surprised his hasn’t given me the boot. “

Justin relaxed then, he could understand that. “I know what you mean. This baby is using my internal organs as batting practice.”

“Yes, exactly. This little guy is making it his job to torture me.”

“You’re having a boy?”

“Yes, you?”

“Don’t know.” He’d gotten prenatal care at the clinic but he hadn’t been in months, he had lost his job and lived off less than legal and desirable ways of getting by.

“Ah, wanted a surprise. I couldn’t, I had to know. Ardan wanted it to be a surprise though.”

“How did you meet?” Justin found himself asking; maybe just so he’d know happily ever after existed.

Brandon laughed. “I was working in New Zealand. One day this absolute mess of a man practically fell at my feet. He was hammered out of his mind. For some reason I felt compelled to help him. I took him home and sobered him up. Turned out his father had just died and he had just got word. We spent all weekend together before his flight home. A month later, I found out this little surprise was on his way.” He patted his belly.

“Really? You only knew him a weekend and ended up pregnant?”

“Yes. After I tracked him down and gave him the news, we were married. This will be the first time I’m meeting his family. I’m very nervous.”

“You shouldn’t be. Both of you look wonderful together. I can tell you really care about each other. Has he met your family?”

The man’s face took a somber look. “My parents died in a house fire when I was in college. I have no one left.”

“I’m sorry, my mom died when I was little and my dad was barely there.”

“Well, you got your family right there,” Brandon said, pointing at Justin’s stomach.

“Yeah,” Justin said smiling, the baby gave him a little kick right then. It seemed he or she knew it was being talked about.

“If it’s not too personal, where is its other father?”

“Who knows and who cares. He didn’t want us and we don’t need him.”

“That’s the spirit, it’ll be his loss. I need to get out of these clothes, their too tight. I’m going to put on something that stretches more. I’ll go into the washroom to change. Be right back. Christ, this thing hurts.” Brandon started to massage his hand.

Justin watched the man stand up. He was just as tall as Ardan but with blonde hair instead of brown. They made a stunning couple. It was clear they were rich, that mixed with their looks was a little unfair. It didn’t matter though, he had all he needed right with him. He didn’t need anyone.

“Can you hold this for a moment?”

Brandon was handing him something small. Looking closely, he saw it was a silver ring. It was beautiful, both masculine and delicate at the same time.

“Huh?” He was confused by the question.

“It’s killing my finger. Can you just hold it for a little bit?”

Justin took the ring. “Sure.”

“Thanks, be back in a tick.”

Justin sat back on the seat and looked over the ring. It really was beautiful. It had Brandon and Ardan’s names engraved on the inside of it. Not being able to help himself he slid the ring on his left ring finger. He let himself believe for a moment that he was married to the handsome brunet. But then the thought made him a little sick. Brandon and Ardan were so lovely together. He had only seen a moment of interaction between them, but the love was there. It was there in the way Brandon talked about him. It was there in the way Ardan was hunting down some wonderful pillow for his beloved. It wasn’t Ardan he wanted anyway, he wanted some passion in his life. But looking down at his stomach, he didn’t think any man would think about him that way in a long while.

He started to take the ring off but it got stuck. His fingers were too swollen. Just as it began to give, he was thrown against the seats when the train jerked again. Loud crushing metal could be heard all around him. The luggage rack fell and hit him in the head. Before he lost consciousness he heard a scream from the washroom. He knew it was Brandon, but he couldn’t get to him. He couldn’t move. The train was still moving, he hoped they’d all be okay. Finally, he couldn’t stay awake, no matter how much he tried to get up.

Brian had just dropped Michael, Emmett and Ted off. Now headed to his mother’s house. He had to stop the night out because he had gotten sick about an hour ago, it had been the oddest thing. He just felt a sense of extreme lose. It was also another reason he was going. He wanted to make sure she was okay.  

She had been in poor health since his father died almost a year ago. They didn’t have the best marriage but she did seem to love him. Brian couldn’t really remember his father in his life that much, that is until he started working at his company. Now he was in charge of the whole agency. At thirty, it was quite a feat. Though, he had to prove himself over and over again. People just thought he was there because he was Jack Kinney’s son. That wasn’t true. Ardan was Jack’s son too. Where was he? Probably doing whatever the hell he wanted.

No, he knew where he was. Ardan was on his way with his new husband. His pregnant, new husband. Brian was too busy keeping Kinnetik making the profits it needed to have that kind of social life. Sex was different than having a dating life. But his job was very important. It made sure he mother could afford all her little hobbies.

Most of them were making the brother and sister, who worked for her worried about her sanity. His mother had hired Debbie Novotny thirty years ago. At the time Debbie had been an eighteen-year-old mother of a newborn. She gave her a job and a place to live with her baby. That baby turned into Brian’s best friend, Michael.

A few years later, her brother was hired on as the butler. He was more than that though. Brian and Ardan always thought of him as a father figure. He was the first person beside Ardan that he told that he was gay. Ardan had told their dad and mother about himself. Brian had only told his dad on his deathbed. He made Brian swear not to tell, because his mother couldn’t take another ‘queer’ son. So now everyone thought he was straight. Not only that but thought that Lindsay Peterson was his girlfriend. Lindsay although was dating a female, Jewish lawyer. He found out just the other day they were going to tell her parents. That meant he would have to get another beard for a while.

Pulling up in front of his mother’s mansion, he stopped his car. He’d only be there for a minute. Ardan was supposed to be staying in a hotel tonight when arrived in Pittsburgh, then coming to the house in the morning.

Just as he reached the front door, it flew open. Debbie was standing there with tears flowing freely down her face.

“Deb? What’s wrong? Is it Mother?”

“Brian, it’s all over the news.”

“What is?”

She grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him into the entertainment room. It was the only room in the house that had a television. There on the big screen was a scene from a disaster movie. It had to be.

“The Briston, number four was headed on its way to Pittsburgh. No word on how many passengers were on board. There have been casualties reported. Stay with us for rapid updates throughout the night.”

“That’s-

“It’s the train Ardan and Brandon were on.”

Turning around he saw his mother, she was sobbing clutching her heart. “Call the doctor,” he ordered.

“He’s already on his way,” Vic said as he held Debbie as they both cried softly.

Now he knew what he had felt earlier, Ardan wouldn’t be found with the living. He had died over an hour ago. Brian had felt the moment he left this earth. But like always, he had to be the strong one. His mother would need it. He hoped for her sake Brandon and the baby had made it, but he held no illusions.

The word came in early the next morning. They had identified Ardan’s body. He was being brought back home by Vic, who was on his way now with the funeral director to get his body. Brandon had been found alive. A man that was in the compartment with him was also killed. Brian was on his way to check on his late brother’s husband.

Michael had wanted to come on the drive, but it felt like something he needed to do alone. The baby was born during an emergency C-section. Brandon was still in a coma. They didn’t know how long he would be in one. Brian was going to work it out with the hospital to have his brother-in-law sent to a private hospital in Pittsburgh. His mother wanted him close, not only that but Brian needed to check on his nephew.

The hospital Brandon and the baby were in at the moment was the best money could buy in the area. His mother had arranged it, and then sent presents there. It was the only way she could cope with losing Ardan. The doctor told her she needed to stay in bed for a few days. That meant Debbie was on call twenty-four, seven now.

The hospital was very nice, at least it was worth the money it cost. A short, pale receptionist greeted him at the counter.

“My name is Brian Kinney, I’m here to see my brother-in-law Brandon Kinney and his son.”

“Of course, Mr. Kinney. Your lovely mother called just a few minutes ago to see if you were already here. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss.”

“Thank you. Can I see my nephew?”

“Of course. If I can see some identification, we’ll take you right to him. He’s such a lovely baby. Thankfully, he wasn’t harmed in the crash.”

Brian pulled out his license and handed it to the woman. Checking it against her computer she then handed it back to him. He was then told to follow her to the nursery. Up one floor and down two halls they finally came to a secured door. She typed in a code and allowed him in. After a band was place on his wrist he was shown the nursery. There were only four babies in the nursery and three of them were girls. It was easy to spot Baby Boy Kinney.

The nurse from the nursery picked the baby up and placed him in Brian’s arms. He sat down in a rocking chair that was provided and just stared at the baby. He didn’t really look like any of the Kinney’s. But that was to be expected, he was just a baby. His looks would change drastically over the next year. This was the last they had of Ardan. He would make sure he was always taken care of.

“Mr. Kinney?”

Brian looked up to see a tall, greying haired doctor. “Yes?”

“If you’d like to discuss Mr. Brandon Kinney’s condition, I can talk to you now.”

Standing back up Brian placed the baby back in his bed. He followed the doctor down the hall to a room. Inside was just a single occupied bed. Before he even got a chance to see his brother-in-law the doctor started talking about his condition. It turned out besides the bruises and cuts over his body he had some cracked ribs. It was his brain they were concerned about the most. He had taken quite a hit. The swelling was going down but now they would just have to wait until he woke up to see how bad it was.

When the doctor left Brian turned his attention to the man in the bed.

“What the hell?” he muttered, stepping closer to the man in the bed.

Several things stuck out to him. First was the man was not his brother’s type at all. Ardan liked guys similar to himself. Brian was the same way. This guy looked small in the bed. Maybe it was just the way he looked in bed. But second, he looked young. Younger than his twenty-eight years that Ardan said he was.

They wheeled the baby in just at that moment.

“It’s supposed to help if he knows he’s near. I was thinking since you’re here already you could place the baby on him. Just be careful about his wrapped ribs,” a cheery, red-headed nurse said.

He placed the baby on the man’s chest, and waited. Nothing seemed to happen. That was a complete waste of time.

“If you don’t wake up, I’m going to name him Sherman.” Still nothing.

Two days later Brandon and the baby were moved to a hospital in Pittsburgh. It was easier than for Brian to visit his nephew and brother-in-law. Brandon still hadn’t woken up. If he was still wouldn’t wake up in a few days, the baby was coming home with them. His mother had already hired a nanny, though Debbie was miffed at the idea. She needed to take care of his mother though.

“Mr. Kinney?” a voice on the phone asked.

“Yes. Can I help you?”

“Mr. Brandon Kinney is waking up.”

It was two days after they buried Ardan. Tomorrow they were planning on taking the baby home. Now they would be able to take both of them home.

“I’m on my way.”

Once he was in the hospital he made his way for Brandon’s room. Inside there were two doctors and two nurses.

One of the nurses looked up at him and smiled sadly. That didn’t make him feel great about whatever was happening.

“Where am I?” a hoarse voice asked.

“Mr. Kinney, you’re at Bethel Lang Hospital.”

“Who? Where?”

“Can you tell me the last thing you remember?” the other doctor asked.

“Umm…I don’t know.”

“Okay, we’ll start easy. What’s your name?”

“…I don’t know.”

The voice sounded so lost and afraid. Ardan and he may not have gotten along all the time but this was something he could do for his brother. Stepping around the group near the bed he made himself be seen. Brandon’s eyes landed on him and something seemed to flicker in those pretty blue eyes.

Who were these people? Why did they keep asking him questions? When a new man stepped closer to the bed something seemed familiar about him. Did he know him?

“Do I know you?” he asked the man.

“No, we’ve not had the pleasure yet. You and my brother were on your way home when the crash happened.”

That made him sit up straighter. “Crash? What crash?”

“You were in a train wreck with your husband last night,” the blonde doctor said.

“I have a husband?” He looked at the handsome man by his bed. “Are you my husband?” He asked but that didn’t feel right.

“No, I’m your brother-in-law. Your husband was my brother, Ardan,” the man said sadly.

“Was? That means…”

“That means your husband didn’t survive the wreck. But your child did, the emergency doctor on site did an emergency C-section. The baby is healthy and waiting to go home.”

“Wait… I have a baby? Like a baby I carried? I can do that?”

“Yes. It appears you have amnesia. But hopefully it’ll about be temporary. Tomorrow if the tests look good you and your son can go home with your husband’s brother.”

“Okay. Can…Can I see the baby now?” He had a baby, he wondered if his son looked like him or his deceased husband. His husband was dead. He wished he could remember him, but he was glad he didn’t too. It would hurt, he knew that. He could see the pain in the brother’s eyes. Why would he want that to happen to him quickly? He hoped his memory would come back soon. It felt awful not knowing where he came from.

Craig Taylor watched the TV about the train wreck. It was all anyone was talking about lately. There was one pregnant man that was still unidentified. They seemed not to have any identification on him. Craig drove down to the morgue to see if it was his son. When Justin was small, he was diagnosed with the male pregnancy gene. It was a major relief when he saw it wasn’t his son.

Justin and he had lots of problems over the years, that didn’t mean he wanted him dead. He was also glad his son wasn’t the pregnant male. That would have been just too much to handle. He opened another beer and changed channels.

Ethan had gone to see if the body was Justin’s. Maybe there would have been some settlement if it was. But the dead pregnant guy wasn’t him. It seemed it was a little more common than he thought. Most of the belongings of the victims had burned in the wreckage of the train. They had gotten the dead man and another out just before that compartment completely incinerated everything inside.

He just hoped Justin didn’t try and show back up with the brat in tow. It wasn’t like he wanted the damn thing, that was all Justin. The kid had been fun for a little while but not the marrying kind. His parents would have disowned him if he brought such trash home. Just the thought made him want to laugh. He enjoyed living the Bohemian lifestyle, it helped his music.

But that didn’t mean when he finally went home to Pittsburgh, that his rich family would accept a trashy boyfriend and a bastard baby. Right now he was cut off until he followed in his father’s footsteps. It was looking like he might soon have to go home though. The music career wasn’t taking off like he hoped.

“Are they here yet?” Joan asked Debbie as she paced her bedroom. The damn doctors didn’t want her to get overexcited.

“Not yet, Joanie.” Sometime in the past thirty years, Debbie had gone from just the help to her best friend. It made sense that Brian and Michael were best friends too.

“The baby’s alright though?”

“Yes, the baby is perfectly fine. Brian said he is perfect.”

She nodded her head. “Good, that’s really good. What about Brandon? Is he alright?”

“Yes, he’s fine too. He still doesn’t have his memory, but the doctors are sure it will come back soon.”

Tears started to run down Joan’s face. “I miss Ardan so much. This was supposed to be a happy time.”

“I know. I miss him too. Remember when the boys were thirteen. Brian and Michael had convinced Ardan to try out for cheerleading.”

Joan smile ruefully. “Yes, he made them go to nationals for three years. He was so good at everything he did. Brian always hated it; he had to work twice as hard to get the same grades.”

They continued to talk about the good old days, until Vic let them know that Brian had arrived with Brandon and the baby.

“I’m so nervous. What if he doesn’t want to stay here? I don’t think I can handle if I lose them too.”

“Let’s not put the cart before the buggy. I’ll help you downstairs.”

Once they were downstairs, her eyes landed on her son’s husband. It wasn’t right though…she knew that instantly. Ardan had sent her a small snapshot of them after they were married. She hadn’t shown anyone, fearing what people would say. At the time she was embarrassed about her son having to marry the man because he was pregnant. But this was not Ardan’s husband.

“Debbie, I’m sorry I can’t do this. I’m not feeling well. Can you help me back to bed?”

Debbie looked at her with shocked eyes, but helped none the less. After she got back to her room she sent Debbie away. Quietly, she pulled the small picture out that Ardan had sent her. He was wearing a green dress shirt and black dress pants. Brandon was wearing a suit that looked like it was tailored just for him.

She remembered the police had told her another pregnant male had been found with Brandon. He was identified by his ring. She didn’t know how the young man got Ardan’s wedding ring but that was not Brandon downstairs. That meant her son, his husband and their baby were all dead. Her heart couldn’t take the pain anymore. She hid the picture again and popped her medication in her mouth.

Lying down in her bed, she closed her eyes. Ardan was truly gone, along with Brandon and their baby. She would call tomorrow and have Brandon cremated and put with Ardan in the family mausoleum. She thought about the young man and baby in her front parlor. What was their story? Did they have a family looking for them? He wasn’t on the passengers’ log. They believed he snuck on the train. Maybe there was no one out there for them. Maybe he was here for a reason.

She did have a single, gay son. Not that Brian knew she knew. She had known since she walked in on Brian and Davis Montgomery when they were sixteen. Brian really thought he had pulled one over on her by pretending to be Ardan. She knew her children though, she could pick them out in her sleep. She let him believe it though, he wasn’t ready to tell her like Ardan had been. She didn’t blame him; Jack had been furious when Ardan came out. If his chip-off-the-old-block had come out, he would have probably lost it.

In her heart see knew the young man was with them for a reason. She couldn’t take care of her son and his family; but she could this boy. There was just the problem of Brian. If he knew this boy wasn’t Brandon, he would be sent back to where he came from. She loved her son but he wasn’t the most compassionate person in the world. She would have to play along with the charade. It seemed the boy’s amnesia was genuine. He wasn’t out to trick them, he really thought he was Brandon now. That’s how it would be until he gained his memory. By then maybe he would want to stay.

“Is Mother alright?” Brian asked Debbie as she joined them in the parlor.

“Yes, I think it was just too much. We have to think about how hard this has been on her heart.”

“Of course. I was going to show Brandon to his room.”

“Vic can do that darling. You need to get back to work. I know you, you’re going out of your mind not being there.”

“They seem not to know how to do their job if I’m not there.”

“What do you do?” Brandon asked quietly.

“I run the largest advertising agency on the east coast.”

“Wow, that very important.”

“Yes, it is. I’m going to leave you two here with Deb and Vic. They’ll get you whatever you need.”

“Come on, sweetie. Vic will show you your room. It has a nursery attachment already.”

“Thank you. Please don’t go to any trouble.”

“No trouble. You’re Ardan’s husband, you’re with family now.”

Vic came into the room after being called, and picked the baby up. He carried the baby up to the room with Brandon following behind him.

“What was he like?” Brandon asked.

“Ardan?” Vic had almost forgot that Brandon didn’t remember anything.

Brandon nodded. “He was pretty carefree. The exact opposite of his twin. Ardan picked things up so easy, he could play the piano with just a few lessons. He tried the violin but he didn’t really like it.”

“The violin?” Brandon asked slowly. A dark haired man playing the violin flashed in his head. His husband, it must be. He didn’t look like Brian though. They must be fraternal twins.

“Are you okay?” Vic asked, concerned.

“Yes, I think I may be getting some of my memory back.”

“That is wonderful. Well, here we are.” Inside the room Vic placed the baby in the upscale cradle that Joan had purchased for the him. “If you need a doctor or anything else just call down to the kitchen. If there’s no answer call my cell phone, all the numbers are labeled on the phone.”

“Thank you.”

The older man smiled gently. “Get some rest, dinner will be soon.”

After shutting the door to the bedroom, more flashes of memory came back. A dark alley and an old man in business clothes. Him on his knees, sucking the man off. An exchange of money. What did that mean? What was he talking about? He knew what it meant. He was a prostitute. He had been visibly pregnant in the memory. Where had Ardan been? Why did he have to do that?

As he sat on the bed, another memory hit him. This one was a teenage boy. Him. He was arguing with a tall, blonde man. They were in a dingy kitchen with discarded beer cans everywhere. He was hit by the man, then he turned and ran to his room. Packing just the essentials. The memories started coming quickly after that. His grandfather’s funeral when he was ten. Chris Hobbs breaking his arm when they were seven. It had been an accident, Chris being the klutz he was, fell off the monkey bars directly on him.

Justin Craig Taylor, that’s who he was. Excitement was quickly doused as he realized everyone thought he was Brandon Kinney. That meant that Brandon had been the other man in the compartment with him. He had died in the crash with his husband Ardan. Justin didn’t know how the mix-up happened. He planned as soon as he got downstairs for dinner to tell the family. They would be upset, clearly, but he couldn’t lie to them.

Feeling exhausted, he fell asleep in the huge, comfortable bed. Upon waking up, he noticed he had slept for three hours. It took a minute to realize what woke him up.

The baby started to cry in his cradle. This was the first time he was truly alone with the him. Standing up, he walked over to the fancy cradle. It was beautiful, so was the baby inside. Ethan’s baby. Justin looked closely at him, trying to see any similar characteristics. There wasn’t much because he was only a week old. Mostly, it was just the dark hair.

“Hello, little one.” He picked the small baby up. “What are we going to do?” He didn’t have a dime to his name, he’d even lost his bag in the wreck.

Well, he did have a profession to fall back on. One that he hoped he wouldn’t have to use ever again. He tried not to think about that. Right now, he would just enjoy the day while it lasted. This would be the last time for a while that he wouldn’t have to worry about where his food would come from.

Someone knocked lightly on his door. Carrying the baby with him, he opened the door. Debbie was standing there with a small smile.

“Food is ready, dear. Brian, Michael and their friends are coming to eat. Not to mention Father Tom.”

“Who is Father Tom?”

“The priest at our church. Lovely man, you’ll like him.”

A short, beautiful dark-skinned woman came up to him. She held her arms out to him. He wasn’t quite sure what she wanted.

“Can I take the baby for you?” she asked.

“Umm…”

“This is Daphne, she’s the nanny. You don’t need to worry about him. She’s just going to take him downstairs and feed him. Then a change and back to sleep. If you would prefer after she gets done, she can bring him back to you.”

“Yes, thank you.” He handed the little baby over to her. He really didn’t want to but he didn’t want to them to think he didn’t appreciate their help.

Once he entered the dining room he was shocked with how many people were there. He recognized Brian, Debbie, Vic and Mrs. Kinney. There was a tall man and a shorter man in the corner, they were talking quietly but kept shooting him curious looks. Beside Brian, there was a tall, elegant blonde woman. Next to her, was a shorter brunette woman. Then there was the priest, he was easy to point out. Next, there was a couple already sitting at the table. The man looked a little familiar, but Justin couldn’t place why. He’d never met him before. Maybe he just had one of those faces.

“Oh good, you’re here. Come sit down,” Mrs. Kinney said.

“I didn’t know there’d be so many people,” he said.

“Well, everyone wanted to meet you. Here, I’ll introduce you to everyone. You know Brian, of course. Next to him is his friend Lindsay and her girlfriend Melanie.”

“Mother,” Brian said. His expression was shocked.

“What? I wasn’t supposed to know that Lindsay liked the fairer sex? I’m sorry to tell you Brian, but I knew that when she was fourteen and told me she was going to marry Debra Winger.”

Brian turned around and glared at Lindsay, she had the decency to looked embarrassed.

“What? I forgot.”

Brian rolled his eyes. Well, there went his beard before he was ready. Now he would have to get someone sooner than expected.

“In the corner over there gossiping are Ted and Emmett. Ted is our accountant and Emmett is my event coordinator. They are also Brian’s close friends.” Brian snorted. Not likely. “Anyway,” his mother went on. “That’s Father Tom, he’ll be christening the baby.” Brian watched as Brandon spite out the water he was drinking.

“That is alright, isn’t it?” Brian asked the man. He had just assumed he was Catholic like his brother was. Brian himself was Atheist but it was just something not spoken about, much like the rest of his life.

“Yes, fine. It just surprised me is all. It’s a great idea.” Brian didn’t think the man was telling the truth, he’d look into it later.

“Right, okay lastly are our good friends, Daniel and Isabelle Carter. Their son is traveling the world, much like Ardan did.”

“Ardan and Patrick were the best of friends,” Isabelle said.

That was a lie. Ardan couldn’t stand that little weasel. Patrick was five years younger than them. When he was eighteen he came on to Ardan, who promptly shut him down. The kid was a major pain. He dropped out of college two years in. Moved to New York. Brian didn’t know what he was doing there but it wasn’t a layover on his trips across the world. Hopefully, the rat would stay away. No one could stand him, especially Brian.

 Debbie and Vic served the dinner, then took their seats. They were family, not just help. After his father died they were able to give up the charade of them eating in the kitchen. They only did that when his father was there anyway.

“So, Brandon, how are you coping?”

Everyone in the room looked at the short, blonde. Said blonde wasn’t looking up though, he seemed to be trying to figure out what he was about to eat. As if getting his answer, he finally looked up, blushing some to see everyone looking at him.

“I’m sorry. Did someone ask me a question?”

“Yes, I asked how you were coping.”

“Fine, I guess. It’s a lot to get used to, you know.”

“Have you gotten any of your memories back? You thought they were coming back earlier,” Vic said.

“Umm…no.”

Lie. But why was he lying? It made no sense to Brian. Getting his memory back should be relief. But there was just nothing. No grief for the loss of his husband, nothing. It made Brian instantly suspicious. There was somethings Brian couldn’t stand, and the number one thing was lying.

Daphne chose that moment to bring the baby into the dining room. After the hand off, she headed back upstairs saying to ring her if they needed her.

“What is the baby’s name?” Lindsay asked.

“Oh, I haven’t decided yet.”

“I have a suggestion, if you don’t mind,” his mother said.

“No, not at all.” Brian was worried she would want him to name the baby after Ardan. He wasn’t ready to say the name out loud that much right now.

“Ciaran.”

Brian lowered his head; that was his name. Well, not his name as much as the name he had picked out for his future child. He had told his mother when he was little that he would name his son Ciaran. Now she was giving it to Ardan’s child. He tried to not let it hurt, Ardan wouldn’t be here to watch his son grow. He could give up a name.

“That’s beautiful. What does it mean?”

“Basically, it means little dark one. Like hair, not attitude or anything.”

Justin looked down at his son, it was a perfect name for his dark-haired baby. “Hello, Ciaran.” He had made his decision right then and there. He would keep the lie up. Mrs. Kinney couldn’t handle losing more, her heart couldn’t take it. And mostly, his baby didn’t deserve to live on the streets with him. He hated what he was doing. But for Ciaran, he would do anything.

The next day Justin had Ciaran in the beautiful sunroom that faced the east. It was morning, and he was relaxing on the chaise lounge with Ciaran sleeping on his chest. The room was completely warmed by a fireplace, even though it had ceiling to floor windows filling the room.

Vic had taken Joan to her doctor’s appointment and it was Debbie’s day off. Daphne was in school but he didn’t need full-time child care anyway. In fact, he didn’t need it at all but didn’t want to hurt Joan’s feelings. Not only that, but Daphne was working her way through school, she needed the job.

He expected to hear from Brian again today but he was pleasantly surprised when he hadn’t. Something about the man freaked him out. Maybe it was because he had a feeling that he knew he was lying last night about his memory returning. He would have to find out more about Brandon and Ardan if this farce was going to last. It felt wrong to lie, but he had nowhere else to go. If he and Ciaran had to leave, they’d be homeless.

The snow fell quickly, covering the ground. He couldn’t wait until Ciaran was old enough to play in it. He didn’t know where he’d be next year, but he knew it wouldn’t be in this lavish mansion. This grace period was only for a few weeks, he knew. Soon, they would put everything together and he’d be out the door. He just hoped it didn’t cause any more damage to Joan’s heart.

The night before, after everyone left she rocked Ciaran to sleep. It took Daphne three tries to pry the baby away from her. Justin wasn’t going to get into the middle of it. He had just watched as Joan kept glaring at the younger woman.

Just after noon, Joan and Vic got back from her appointment. This time Justin was in the sitting room with a book. Ciaran was in one of the many bassinets that were now scattered around the mansion.

“Darling, I’m so glad you’re making yourself at home,” Joan said as she picked Ciaran up and sat down in the striped arm chair.

“Should you be carrying him around?” he asked.

“Don’t you start on me too, he’s not a toddler yet. I plan to be around for a long time.” She looked into Ciaran’s sleeping face. “Isn’t that right?” He slept on. “Well, he would agree if he was awake.”

“Yeah, he loves to sleep unless it’s one in the morning. That’s his rock and roll time.”

She cackled. “You’re lucky, you only have one. Brian and Ardan would set each other off. One would wake up then it would take four hours to get them both down.”

“Was your husband helpful?” he asked, hoping to learn more about the family that took him in.

“Jack wasn’t the paternal type. He only showed interest in the boys when they were old enough to start interning at the company. Brian was the only one that wanted anything to do with it though. He was the only one that had talent for it too. Ever since he started working there after college, they had been more profitable.”

“Really? It looks like you’ve always had profit.” He slapped a hand over his mouth. That was the rudest thing he had ever said.

Instead of getting mad she just laughed. “The Kinney’s aren’t from old money. Brian’s grandfather, Allister, was much like Brian. He was a hard worker and had talent. He started Kinney Advertising with a small loan and a dream. He built it up to be the best on the east coast. My late husband on the other hand, was better at drinking the profits. We were lucky that he was surrounded by competent workers. Brian said after he started interning there he didn’t know why his father spent so much time at work, he rarely did any. Brian cashed in his trust to save the company, convinced Jack to rename it Kinnetik. Now, it’s back on top.”

“What about Ardan?”

“Ardan, wasn’t the business type. He was a sweet boy, not the cut-throat his brother is.”

“Brian doesn’t seem bad.”

She stood up and put Ciaran back into his bassinet. “Brian isn’t bad, he’s passionate and a high achiever. I think he would go crazy if he had just lived off his trust like Ardan had.”

“Ardan lived off his trust?”

She walked after and kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t let Brian hear you say that. It might make him worried that you didn’t know his brother at all.” With that she left the room. Did she know?

The next few weeks past in a fog it seemed. Not wanting Daphne to help at night, Justin was exhausted every morning. Ciaran, it turned out was a night owl. It was his favorite time. Debbie had joked once asking if Brian was the baby’s father instead of Ardan. Then it seemed to hit her what she said. It took fifteen minutes for her to stop crying.

That was the biggest reason he couldn’t leave. Yes, if he left he would be homeless. Yes, they would hate him. But the biggest was that they were all still grieving. But every day, Joan smiled more. Every day, Vic laughed more. Every day, Debbie cursed more, that was something he just recently found out. He hadn’t known the woman cussed like a sailor. He thought at first that Joan would be unset but she would just smile.

Brian nor his friends had come back since the welcome party. Justin had found out that they hadn’t lied about Brian being a workaholic.

Justin was reading a new book that Vic had gifted him while Joan had her country club friends over. Since it was a few days before Christmas, they were having brunch in the dining room. Justin found out during spring and summer they’d have it outside. It was too cold and snowy to eat in the garden now though.

Joan had wanted to show Ciaran off, so both Ciaran and Daphne were with her in the dining room. He was lucky that they didn’t feel the need for him to join them. All those people made him uncomfortable.

The cellphone that Joan insisted he kept, rang. He didn’t recognize the number but answered anyway.

“Hello?”

“Sunshine, get your ass out of the house.”

“What? Debbie?”

Had she found out? Was she kicking him out? Oh god.

“The Carter’s are coming over for dinner tonight. They are bringing their son with them. Patrick had a huge crush on Ardan. He’s not a very pleasant boy, if he meets you he will say awful things.”

“I can eat in my room.”

“No. I know you miss Ardan but you can’t live like a hermit. I’m not saying you should move on with someone else right now. Lord knows, I can’t judge anyone there. But you need to get out of the house. Brian is coming to pick you up. Don’t worry about the baby, Daphne does know how to take care of him.”

“I don’t know,” he hedged. Going out with Brian seemed like a recipe for disaster.

“No arguing, now go get dressed. Wear something tight, he’ll be taking you out clubbing.”

“Tight? I thought you said this wasn’t about moving on.”

“It’s not, but looking nice always helps a person feel better about themselves.”

“Do you go out clubbing to make yourself feel better?” he asked, a little bitterly.

“I’ve been going to Babylon since I was sixteen. That was when it was still taboo to go there.”

“What’s Babylon?”

“The club Brian is taking you to. Vic and I used to go all the time.”

“Taboo. What’s taboo about it?”

She laughed. “It’s a gay club.”

“Why is Brian taking me to a gay club. He’s straight.”

It was so quiet on the other end he thought she had hung up.  “A few years back Brian and Michael went in together and bought it.” He guessed that made sense.

“Brian needed a partner?” He thought the man was loaded.

“Needed? No. Brian’s always taken care of Michael. When Michael ended things with his ex, Brian thought the venture would help. It did but now he spends most of his time in his new business venture. With his profits Michael just recently bought a failing comic book store. Brian is doing his advertising, Teddy is doing his accounting and Emmett reorganized everything to make it more exciting.”

Justin would kill to have friends like that. “It must be so great to have friends like that.”

“They can be your friends too. I called Ardan’s childhood best friend too, he’ll meet you there.”  

“Umm…I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He had lucked out so far, someone had to know what Brandon looked like. And if he was going to take a guess it would be a best friend.

“Don’t be silly. Connor will love you, his girlfriend too.”

“Ardan’s best friend is straight?”

Debbie sighed through the phone. Finally, she spoke, “Of course, not everyone is gay.”

“I know that, look at Brian.”

“Yes, of course. Well, you are going out and that’s the end of it. Okay?”

“Fine.”

There were worse things in the world than going out with his pretend brother-in-law. Not many, but there had to be a few.

Brian thought taking Brandon out to Babylon was a mistake. Not only did the man’s husband just die, but it would be exposing Brian’s secret. Although, he had to agree, Brandon being there under the same roof as Patrick was a terrible idea.

Brandon was waiting for him when he pulled up. Looking at him, it wasn’t hard to see what Ardan saw in him. There was still a little weight around his stomach from the pregnancy. But his ass was perfect, even under the size too big for him jeans. Brian shook the image out of his head. This was his brother’s husband.

“Hi,” Brandon said as he slid into Brian’s ‘Vette.

“I’m surprised you’re ready. That excited to go out tonight?”

Brandon snorted. “No, Debbie said that if I came back inside she would hit me with the broom.”

“That would make me run too.”

“I’m excited to see your club though. Debbie told me you run it with Michael.” Justin had only met Michael once, the night of the party. Michael had been late and only stayed a few minutes. After he left, everyone made fun of him for being smitten with his new beau.

“Yeah, it was something to get his mind off of his breakup with his ex.”

“What happened between them?” Justin was always curious about things that were none of his business.

“Why do you care?”

“Just wondering,” he said, embarrassed.

Brian pulled out of the driveway, heading back into the city. He didn’t know why the question Brandon asked bugged him. Well, that wasn’t true he did know. He still felt guilty because of the whole thing. He never liked David, that was no secret. But when he told Michael about seeing him with another guy, he felt like he was being overly cruel. David cheating had surprised even him. He had seemed like he was infatuated with Michael. But Brian had seen David with his own two eyes.

They were all in New York for the weekend, enjoying the nightlife. David had restated again; he wasn’t into the whole clubbing scene. So that left the rest of them, being just him, Michael and Emmett to go out. Ted was in Pittsburgh because his mother was sick.

Brian found a trick that he wanted to spend the night with, so he left Michael and Emmett together on the dance floor. They were just there to dance anyway since they were both in relationships. Brian could never see himself in one of those things. He saw what it did to his mother. Her heart wasn’t weak because of genetics. No, it had been the old man. He had cheated on her since the day they married, then he simply ignored her. There was no way he would do that to someone. It had surprised him when Ardan decided to settle down.

When Brian and the trick got back to the hotel, that was when he saw them. They were all sharing a three-bedroom suite. Brian had expected David to be sleeping. He hadn’t been though. As soon as Brian and the trick were in the suite, he could hear David moaning. Curiosity got the best of him. The door to Michael and David’s door was cracked open a sliver. Just inside he could see the back of a blonde head on his knees. David was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head thrown back. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on.

He then sent his trick away, and went into his room to think. As soon as he heard Michael come in he told him what he saw. David played the wounded party but Michael knew Brian didn’t lie. He hated liars, he could never be with someone who lied to him. So he wouldn’t lie to anyone either.

David finally came out with the truth. He had gone out to get something to eat, but found a rent boy instead. Cheating Michael probably could have gotten over but not bringing a prostitute into their shared hotel room. That all had been five months ago, now in David’s place was Ben. Brian was still on the fence about the professor.

“Is it far?”

Brian had gotten so lost in his thoughts, he forgot Brandon was in the car.

“Not too far. Do you like to dance?”

“I used to love to dance, it’s been a while though. When I was real young my mother had me in tap. She loved those old movies. That’s really all I remember of her.”

“You tap?”

Justin blushed. “I had a natural talent my teacher said. After my mom died, my dad pulled me though. I miss it.”

“Wait a minute! You remember your childhood? You got your memory back?”

“Umm…bits and pieces.”

“Well, that’s something right? Maybe this is going to be good for you. How about more from your childhood? Ardan only told us very little. You were born in the states but raised in New Zealand, right?”

Out of the corner of his eye Brian saw Brandon flinch.

“That is right, isn’t it?” he asked again.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m still a little blank on that. I’d like to hear more about your club though.”

Brian went with the change of subject; it didn’t matter to him if Brandon didn’t want to talk about his childhood. Though it did seem weird since he had no trouble talking about his tap lessons and his father. But he wasn’t a doctor, he didn’t know how memory loss worked.

Justin couldn’t believe how cool Babylon was. The thumpa-thumpa of the music. The flashing strobe lights. It was all very hot. Well…that and the dancing half naked men. It had been so long since he had even touched another man. The last time, he was paid to do it. Okay, in truth the last several times. He didn’t do that very often because he was worried a john would get rough and hurt the baby.

The last john was a nice older gentleman who just wanted a blowjob. He took him to the fanciest hotel he’d ever seen. Up to the best suite. He had hoped that he would be allowed to spend the night. It was such a beautiful place. That didn’t happen though. The john had heard a noise, he said it was one of his friends. He gave Justin enough to live off of for a while. He was down to his last ten from that money when he got on that train.

“This place is so cool,” he told Brian.

“It’s okay. The revenue is nice but it could be better. We still have to compete with several other clubs. Popperz is our biggest competition.”

“Hello, gorgeous.”

Justin looked up to see one of Brian’s friends. If memory served, it was his friend Emmett.

“Emmett, right?” he asked the man. He was in pink leather pants and a fuchsia shirt. Justin didn’t even think he could do the man justice if he tried to paint him.

“That’s right, honey. I’m so glad Joan was able to do without you tonight. Wanna dance?”

Turning around, he looked for Brian to ask if it was alright. But then he saw that the man was gone.

“Where’d Brian go?”

“Probably to get a trick and hit the backroom.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s probably getting his dick sucked by some Adonis by now,” Emmett said laughing.

“But Brian’s straight.”

“Oh, sugar, that boy is gay as they come. And he does come a lot.” Emmett laughed at his own joke.

“But, I thought…”

“That’s only because he’s afraid to tell his mother. His father basically disowned Ardan. He stayed in the closet because he wanted the company.”

“But his dad is dead.”

“Yes, but old habits die hard. Hopefully, once he meets Mr. Right he’ll finally be free.”

Justin couldn’t stop thinking about the sexy man after that. Brian was gay. But he was also Ardan’s twin brother. Everyone believed he was Ardan’s widower. Could his life get any worse?

“Would you like a drink?”

Justin turned around, he blinked his eyes to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.

“You’re Connor James.” God, I sound like an idiot.

“Yes, I am. And you are?”

Before he could stop and think, he just blurted out his real name. “Justin. Wow, it’s really you. I’ve seen almost every movie you’ve ever made.”

“Almost?”

“Yeah, the Delta Base movies really weren’t my style.”

“Mine either, but they did pay the bills. So you want that drink?”

“You’re gay?”

“Nope, straight.”

“Then why did you want to buy me a drink?”

“Fine, no drink. Let’s go back to my hotel room.” He was invading Justin’s personal space.

Now Justin really was confused. Why did he want him to go to his hotel if he was straight? Justin looked around to see if Brian or any of his friends were around. He didn’t see any of them.

“I think I’m going to pass,” he said, starting to move away from the guy. This is why you’re not supposed to meet your idols. Not that he was Justin’s idol, he just thought he was hot and watched some movies he was in.

“Brandon, there you are,” he heard a voice say.

Looking to his right he saw Michael making his way over to them. He was smiling and had a tall, hunky guy walking beside him.

“Michael, how are you?” Connor asked.

Connor hugged Michael and smiled back at the man he walked up with. There was something he was missing here. He then remembered Debbie said that Ardan’s best friend was going to meet them there. His best friend Connor. FUCK!

“Good, we’re real good. I see you’ve met Brandon, Ardan’s husband.”

Connor looked at Justin and raised an eyebrow. A menacing smile appeared on the man’s face. A pit settled into his stomach.

“We’re gonna go dance, see you in a little while,” Michael said as he took hunky guy’s hand and walked off.

“So, Brandon, funny that you introduced yourself as Justin. But not nearly as funny as you not looking anything like all the pictures Ardan sent me of the two of you.”

Busted. “Please, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know when I got here. I had temporary amnesia, really that’s not a lie. I was in the crash with Brandon and Ardan. They didn’t make it. I have nowhere else to go, please I have a baby.”

“Not my concern that you’re a whore. What is my concern is you taking advantage of a sick, grieving mother. Have you no shame?”

“Please, I’ll do anything. They need me and Ciaran as much as we need them. Joan loves him.”

“Anything?” His stomach started to turn at the man’s evil grin. How could he have been such a fan of him?

“Anything,” he said, although his voice shook.

“Come back to my hotel with me.”

“Okay.”

Justin wiped tears out of his eyes as he was led out of Babylon.

“Where’s Brandon?” Brian asked.

He had started to feel guilty about leaving Brandon alone. The blonde wasn’t a child, but it still was a dick move. It was supposed to be a fun night for him.  

“I saw him talking to Connor a little while ago,” Michael said as Ben wrapped his arms around his waist.

“What was that slime ball doing here?”

“Mom asked him to come. She thought it would be nice for Brandon to meet Ardan’s best friend.”

“Well, he always did see the best in people.”

“Why do you hate Connor so much? You didn’t hate him in school.”

It wasn’t something he ever wanted to talk about. What had happened had been pretty awful. It had taken years for Ardan to forgive him. That was when Brian decided no one would ever get close enough to hurt him. It had almost killed him to see Ardan hurt that way. Brian may keep things like his sexuality quiet, but he never actively lied. If people believed Lindsay was his girlfriend when he took her to parties, that was on them. But Connor James was a different kind of homosexual. He was a user, plain and simple.

“I saw them leaving together,” Ted spoke up.

“What?” Emmett asked.

They were all thinking the same thing, this was trouble. They had all grown up together, mostly. Except for Ted and Emmett. Brian had met Ted in college, and Emmett when he moved to the Pitts from Mississippi when he was just barely twenty. But they all knew Connor and his appetites. He wasn’t willing to come out of the closet because of his career. Brian really didn’t have a leg to stand on being upset about that.

But that wasn’t all, Connor was a user. He’d find some love struck kid and string him along for as long as he could. It was better than sleeping around and risking someone going to the tabloids. Then, when he was done with them, he would make them feel like they were nothing. They’d be too ashamed to go public.

Brandon was still grieving Ardan; Brian couldn’t let Connor take advantage of that.

“So Justin, how did you get in to such a precarious situation?”

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he rubbed his hands up and down his arms. He felt uncomfortable with Connor. How could a man be loved by millions but be such a skeevy guy?

“I told you already, I didn’t remember who I was until I was already in the Kinney’s home. When I remembered who I was, I still needed a home for me and Ciaran.”

“Ciaran? What a lovely name.”

“What do you want?”

He wasn’t afraid of the man; he had met his type before. That didn’t mean he wanted to have sex with the guy. Just the thought made his skin crawl.

“What I want is- ….“ A knock on the door halted whatever he was going to say.

As Connor went to answer the door Justin considered his choices. He didn’t have to stay in the hotel room. He could go back home and be honest. Tell all of them the truth. In fact, that’s what he would do. The lying was too much. The longer it went on, the more it would hurt everyone.

Standing up, he almost missed the voices coming from the small hallway. A very familiar voice sounded out. A voice he didn’t think he would ever hear again.

“I thought we could have fun while you’re in town.”

“God, get a clue, Patrick,” he heard Connor say.

“Oh, I do have a clue. I have pictures of us too. How much do you think I can sell them for?”

Justin’s heart started to pound in his chest. This couldn’t be happening, it couldn’t.

“I’m tired of paying you off. I’m no longer your meal ticket. If you out me, I’ll destroy you.”

There was a bitter laugh. “What could you possibly do to me? I’m not in the closet, there is nothing you could do to me.”

“Oh, I think there is.”

“What?”

“Everyone will know what happened to Pierre Beaumont.”

“He was in a tragic accident. There’s nothing to know.” Justin could hear the slight panic in the voice.

“That’s a laugh, a tragic accident. One that just so happened right after he beat you in for that damn Hermann competition.”

“You better watch yourself, making those kinds of accusations.”

“Patrick, my dear Patrick, you really should know better than to go up against me.”

Justin was worried they would come into the room. He didn’t want to be face to face with his past. Unfortunately, fate was not on his side, as he stepped away from the bed he tripped.

“What the hell was that?” he heard Ethan ask.

“Just a trick that your visit has interrupted.”

He heard a rustling, then standing in front of him was Ethan Gold. He didn’t look like himself though. Instead of shabby ill-fitting clothes, he was in a suit that cost more than Justin had ever seen in his life.

“Justin?” Ethan’s face paled.

“Wait, you know him?” Connor asked, stepping up behind Ethan.

“Yeah, he was pregnant with my baby. Looks like he got rid of it though. Good.”

“Hold up. The baby you’re trying to pass off as Ardan’s is Patrick’s? This is hilarious. I can’t wait to tell Brian.”

“Ardan’s baby? Brian? What the hell is going on?” Ethan voice had turned rough.

“Oh, you don’t know? Well, it seems this imposter is pretending to be Ardan’s late husband. He was in the crash that killed Ardan. Everyone thought his husband and baby survived. That appears not to be the truth though.”

“Justin?”

“I didn’t have anywhere else to go. You refused to help. I had a head injury and didn’t get my memory back until I was already here. Ciaran needs a home. We would be homeless without the Kinney’s.”

“It’s true then? You’re trying to pass my kid off as Ardan’s.”

Anger started to radiate from him. “Your kid? Your kid? You wanted me to have an abortion. When I wouldn’t, you threw me out with nothing but a bag of clothes.”

“This is just too perfect,” Connor cackled as he sat on the bed. Justin and Ethan were now facing each other.

“They all think my kid is Ardan’s? How could they ever think Ardan would touch you?” Ethan didn’t hide his disgust as he looked Justin up and down.

“You had no problem with touching me,” Justin pointed out, his heart beating rapidly.

“You were easy. All I had to do was say something nice to you, and you were bent over my sofa.”

Tears started to prickle his eyes. He never had very good self-esteem, and now it was non-existent. In the beginning, Ethan had been so sweet and gentle. Justin thought they were kindred souls, both starving artists.

“I think we’re all missing the big picture here,” Connor spoke up.

“What are you talking about?” Ethan asked, glaring at Justin.

“Well you want money; and dear Justin is now a member of one of the richest families on the east coast.”

“I won’t give him any money,” Justin said. He didn’t bring up the fact he didn’t have any money. He wouldn’t give it too Ethan even if he had a million dollars.

“Ardan didn’t have any money, he was cut out of his father’s will. Last thing I heard was his trust was almost empty,” Ethan said rolling his eyes.

“I’m not talking about Ardan’s; I’m talking about Brian’s. He’s where the real money lies.”

“Brian would never give me that kind of money.”

“He wouldn’t have to know about it until it was too late.”

“What are you two talking about? You know what, never mind. I’m going home.” Justin had to get out of there.

Before he could make it three steps Connor’s large hand grabbed his wrist. He was pulled back against the man’s chest. “Slow down. You haven’t even heard my idea.”

“I don’t want to know your idea.” He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

“What is your idea?” Ethan asked curiously.

Connor started to message Justin’s hip with his other hand. Justin tried to break away but was unable to break Connor’s hold on him. “Let me go,” he growled at the taller man.

“Don’t be like that, kitten,” Connor purred into his ear. The smell of stale cigarettes was on Connor’s breath. He sat back down on the bed, bringing Justin onto his lap. That was where he held him, Justin was unable to move an inch.

“Really, Connor?”

“What? Just because you’re through with him doesn’t mean I don’t want a taste.”

Ethan rolled his eyes again before taking a seat at the desk. “So tell me your idea. Because if money is on the table, I need it.”

“Can’t you just go back to your family?” Justin asked. That’s what Ethan had told him, that it was his choice to live the way he did.

Connor laughed loudly. “Sure, all he has to do is beg his father and Brian for forgiveness.”

“Why Brian?” Justin asked.

“Because that asshole bought half of my father’s company. Now Brian holds the purse strings. It was his fault my family cut me off in the first place. He told them I was a leech. I can go back only if I am a good little boy. That’s not my style.”

Justin wasn’t about to argue with him. “You two don’t need me here,” he whimpered.

“Did you know that Ardan and Brian competed all the time? If Ardan got a new toy, Brian needed a better toy. If Brian won the championship soccer game, Ardan became class president. It was always like that. But the one thing that Brian always did, was sleep with his brother’s boyfriends. Every single one. He might fight it a little now because Ardan being dead but he will. And when he does, you’ll give him what he wants,” Connor said with a calculating smile.

“He wouldn’t do that,” Justin defended Brian.

“Oh he would and did. I should know, I was Ardan’s first boyfriend. Brian seduced me and then told Ardan about us.”

Patrick almost laughed, it seemed Connor was rewriting history. He had been younger than them but he remembered the incident like yesterday. Connor had broken Ardan’s heart. That led Brian to want to cause him pain. Ardan and Connor had been best friends since they were small. But when Ardan told him he was gay, that’s when Connor started some sick closeted relationship with him. Brian had finally become aware and made sure Ardan saw Connor for who he was. A user. Somehow Ardan and Connor had gotten their friendship back, but Connor still held a grudge. That being said, Patrick would go with anything he said if he got him the money he deserved. He was tired of living like a beggar.

“What is the plan?” Patrick asked, watching Connor rub his hands all over Justin was making him ill. What did he ever find attractive about the blonde?

“Well, that’s easy. Justin here is going to become Mrs. Brian Kinney.”

Patrick laughed as Justin’s cheeks grew red from embarrassment.

“I’m not a woman,” Justin said weakly.

“You had a baby, so I’m gonna have to disagree with you there,” Patrick pointed out. “How will I get my money though?” he asked Connor.

“Easy, as soon as the Justin here signs on the dotted line, he’ll give you the money. Half of Brian’s worth will be his.”

“What about a prenup?” Patrick asked.

“Justin will just have to find a way to talk him out of it.”

“I won’t marry Brian. I won’t come onto him or anything. I will not hurt them like that.”

“You’re already hurting them, you little liar,” Patrick snarled.

“I won’t,” Justin shook his head.

“You will or you can kiss your little baby goodbye,” Connor snarled.

“What?” both Justin and Ethan said.

Justin couldn’t believe his ears; this man was threatening his child.

“Well, as I see it, if you don’t go along with our little plan, Patrick will be forced to act.”

“Patrick?” Justin asked.

“Me, it’s my birth name. What are you on about, Connor?”

“If Justin doesn’t go along with this, you’ll sue for custody.”

Patrick smirked. “I might need to do that anyway. Look at what kind of environment my child is being raised in.”

“You can’t. You didn’t even want him.” Justin started to panic.

“He can and will. If you don’t we’ll tell Joan that baby isn’t her grandson. That can’t be good for the ticker. Then we’ll tell Brian that you’ve been lying since the beginning. Did I mention Brian hates liars? That means as soon as they know about you, you’ll get the boot. Then Patrick will be forced to sue for custody because of you being unfit. Not the mention you don’t have a place to live. Patrick’s parents would love to hire him the best lawyer around. You wouldn’t stand a chance.”

Trapped. Justin was utterly trapped. He would have to go along with their plan, he didn’t stand a chance in court. How the hell was he supposed to get Brian to marry him?

“What do you get from all this?” Justin had to ask. It was clear Ethan was only after the money. But that didn’t explain Connor. He was rich.

“Justice.”

As Justin left the hotel, so many things ran through his mind. What would happen if he told the Kinney’s the truth? What would happen if he stuck to Connor’s plan?

Nothing, absolutely nothing good could come from helping those two. Ethan just wanted money. Connor on the other hand, wanted Brian broken. Brian wasn’t the warmest individual he had ever met but he had helped him out so much since arriving.

“Brandon.”

Justin was so lost in his thoughts; he didn’t even hear the man calling his new name. Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder.

“Let go of me,” he snapped, thinking it was Connor again.

“Calm the fuck down,” Brian said as Brandon turned around. For a minute, he thought the man was going to hit him.

“Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

“Connor?”

“How’d you know?”

“Ted said he saw you leave with him. Please tell me you didn’t fuck him. I’m guilty of using unhealthy sex as therapy but this isn’t the way.”

“I didn’t sleep with him. But Brian, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Justin looked up at the most beautiful hazel eyes he had ever seen. When he had first met Ardan, he thought he was the most handsome man he had ever met. But that title really was Brian Kinney’s to keep. He had only seen Ardan for a total of ten minutes. But even he could see the differences in them. Brian seemed to have a darker aura around
him. But that could be because of all the pressure that was on him. Joan and Debbie had told him that Brian was the only one to keep things going before and after Jack Kinney died.

“Well, what is it?”

“I uhh…”

“Spit it out, Sunshine.”

That was the first time Brian had called him Sunshine. Debbie and Joan had been calling him that almost since the beginning. It felt less like lying that way. It felt good.

“My name isn’t Brandon,” Justin sobbed out.

Brian’s face hardened. Many emotions filtered over his face. Confusion. Pain. Betrayal. The one it stuck on was anger.

“Explain,” he said, his voice scarily calm.

“I met Ardan and Brandon just before the crash. I guess the police thought I was Brandon because of the wedding ring. He asked me to hold it because it was hurting his finger. I put it on while he was changing. I’m sorry, I never meant for any of this to
happen.”

When he started to tell the truth, everything just poured out of him. He needed to get out before anything else could happen. Once he got Ciaran, he would disappear. Maybe move down south. No
way was Ethan getting his hands on Ciaran. He would not be a pawn in Connor and
Ethan’s little game.

“So you play all of us for fools? You let my mother think that baby is her dead son’s child? You let us believe a part of him is still here? Where is my nephew’s body? I’ll tell you where, somewhere in a potter’s field with his father because we believe they were alive.”

Justin could see Brian shaking with rage. His face darkened even more. A scary thought occurred to him. Brian could have him arrested for impersonation. Ethan wouldn’t even have to fight to get him then.

All that fled his mind when Brian pulled back his fist. He hit Justin squarely in his left eye. Surprised by the hit, Justin fell to the ground. A yell escaped him after the first kick landed in his ribs. Closing his eyes, he waited for the kicks to stop.

“Earth to Sunshine,” Brian said, snapping his fingers in front of Brandon. Brandon’s face had turned sickly white. “What do you need to tell me?”

The blonde seemed to come back from where his mind had wondered off to.

“Oh, just that I had a really good time tonight. I’m hoping we can do it more.” He brushed his hand over Brian’s chest. Was Brian’s crazy or was there a hidden meaning there? No, there was no way his recently widowed brother-in-law would be hitting on him.

The next few months passed relatively easy. Ethan and Connor had given him until Christmas to have Brian’s ring on his finger.

Easter was upon them now. Joan had gotten at least four Easter outfits for Ciaran. Not only that, but the doctor had lifted some of her restrictions. It looked like her heart wasn’t getting worse. She had said it was because of him and Ciaran. That tore him up inside. He had until Christmas to figure a way out of this mess. Thankfully, Ethan had gone back to New York and Connor back to LA.

“That one is beautiful, darling. There’s
something about it that breaks my heart though.” She looked at it again before turning around. “You must set up a show soon,” Joan said as she came into the sunroom. It was the best room for his art because he could control the amount
of sunlight.

Once Joan found out he was an artist, she had Vic take him to the art store. Vic wouldn’t let him see how much was spent but Justin knew it had been in the thousands.

His first was a portrait of Ciaran, he gave it to Joan. Then some hand sketches of the rest of the family. Now he was working more on the images he saw in his head.

Joan had started in on him to have his own show. He knew she was just being nice but it didn’t feel right. It wouldn’t be because of his talent but her pocketbook. Even if he did, this painting wouldn’t be in it.

“What’s this one called?” she asked as she sat on the chaise.

“HBM.”

“HBM?”

“Yes.”

That was all he wanted to say about the matter. The painting was extremely personal to him. It was the accident. It was the image he saw in his head every time he thought about that night. Not many people looking at it would know they were looking at a painting of death and destruction. They would see light colors mixed with dark edges. They would see a never ending road, sunrise just over the next hill. They wouldn’t see the car in the ditch, the car where an eight-year old stayed pinned in the back while his mother lay dead in the ditch. They couldn’t see that because he hadn’t painted that, instead it was a simple red brick house. Red to show how much blood there had been that day. Brick because that’s what had been used to break his window by the man who found them. And a house, because it had been the last place his mother had ever lived.

Brian couldn’t believe he had let his mother talk him into this again. Apparently, Emmett had told her about Leather Night at Babylon. She thought it was a wonderful idea to take Brandon. Brandon would be lucky if he could leave that night without wearing some Dom’s collar. They would just see a little twink that needed a firm hand. Brian would spend his whole night chasing them off.

“Hey, honey, what are you doing here?” Debbie asked as he entered the kitchen.

“Mother wanted me to take Brandon to Leather Night.”

“Leather Night? He’ll be eaten alive.”

Brian snorted but kept his mouth shut. It wasn’t the greatest idea but his mother had her heart set on it for some reason.

“Where is the little prince?”

“Brandon or Ciaran?

“I was asking about Brandon but Ciaran is usually with him.”

“Not today, Daphne took him to park.”

“The park? He just learned to roll over.”

“The fresh air is good for him. Isn’t it a little early to pick Brandon up for Leather Night?”

Brian refused to take the bait on that. He realized a month ago his mother, Debbie and Vic were trying to get him with Brandon. It had taken him longer than he thought it should but he didn’t think his mother would be that manipulative, but he should have guessed.

“Is he in the sunroom?” He usually was if he wasn’t taking care of Ciaran.

“No, he’s in his room. Emmett came over a little while ago and they rushed up there.”

Turning around he headed for the stairs. “Honeycutt probably broke a nail. It would be cause of emergency.”

Taking the stairs two steps at a time he hurried to Brandon’s room. The door was cracked open when he got there.

“It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long since you’ve done this,” he heard Emmett say.

“Well, what can I say, I’ve got a talent with asses,” Brandon replied.

Peeking in, Brian only could see them in the large mirror on Brandon’s dresser. He saw Emmett face down on Brandon’s bed and Brandon’s face close enough to kiss his ass. Emmett didn’t have a stitch of clothes on. Brandon did but it looked like they just started. As soon as Brandon’s hand came in contact with Emmett’s ass he was done. It was clear Brandon didn’t need him.

“Would you quit moving,” Justin said, trying not to laugh at Emmett.

“I can’t help it, it tickles.”

The last time he had a completely naked man in his bed it wasn’t to draw on him. Emmett had begged him to give him a few henna tattoos. He thought they would make him look more daring. Right now, he was working on a design on his ass.

“Well, if you don’t hold still your ass will look like a drunk chimpanzee did it.”

Justin was tired by the time Emmett’s henna was done. It had been something he learned when he was in high school. Since it had been a while since he did it, he started with Emmett’s ass first. But everything had turned out great. On his lower back was a heart, four chainmail patterns connecting at the heart, two from his back and two from his ass. He thought it was his best work.

Emmett left as soon as it dried, he said he wasn’t going to Leather Night. Justin didn’t know what he wanted to henna for but it wasn’t his business. Justin didn’t like the way leather pants felt so he put on jeans. But he did put a leather vest over a white tee. Looking in the mirror he thought he looked good.

Tonight was the night he was going to tell Brian the truth. He hoped to get him to really know him before he opened up. He made sure he looked good for the night out. After finally dropping the last of the baby weight he felt good again. His hair was also longer than it had been in a while. When he was with Ethan he had cut it. Ethan told him he looked ugly with long hair. Now, Justin knew it was because he got more attention with longer hair, Ethan didn’t like anyone thinking Justin was better looking than him.

Checking himself out one more time he smiled at his reflection. Tonight was going to be amazing.

Once he got down stairs he ran into Daphne and Ciaran in the kitchen. Ciaran was strapped into his high chair and Daphne wad feeding him.

“What are you eating?” he asked his son, kissing his cheek.

“Tell Daddy we’re having bananas.”

“He hates bananas.” At least he did the day before.

“Well, he loves it now.”

They just started him on some baby food. Only the ones his doctor said to try. Ciaran so far hadn’t liked anything Justin had given him.

He decided to wait for Brian on the bench in front of the house. His nerves were making him jumpy.

Seven o’clock came and went. Eight. Nine. Ten. At a half past eleven he went back inside. He was glad everyone was asleep. Ciaran was sleeping in his nursery tonight and Daphne had his baby monitor.

Peeling off the clothes that he hated now, he threw himself on the bed. All he had on was his underwear. He was finally able to fall asleep, tears still running down his face.

Brian stumbled into the room. Grabbing at the desk by the door he made sure to not fall. His eyes adjusted to the dark room. Brandon was on the bed, alone. Stumbling forward he made his way over to him.

The alcohol he had consumed was helping to feed his anger. Grabbing the covers, he ripped them off of Brandon’s body. Crawling up onto the bed, he straddled Brandon’s body.

Justin woke up with a start as he felt someone on top of him. He froze when he saw who it was. Brian, clearly inebriated, was straddling his hips, looking down at him.

“You’re here,” Justin said, his voice rough from crying and sleep.

Brian didn’t speak, he just leaned down and captured Justin’s lips in a harsh kiss. In a split decision he decided to go with it. He had been so upset when Brian didn’t so up earlier, now he was in his bed. It had been so long since he felt wanted, needed. Maybe this was Brian’s way of apology.

Over the last few months he had become more and more infatuated with the man. And it had nothing to do with Connor’s plan. Brian Kinney was a sweet, gentle man hidden inside a cool exterior.

Several times over the next few minutes Brian left Justin with an out. He didn’t pin him at all. Justin’s underwear was gently taken off. For as unsteady Brian was, his moves were smooth.

Justin wasn’t surprised when Brian pulled out a condom and a lube packet. He kept looking Justin in the eyes as he prepared him.

Never in his life had he a lover like Brian Kinney. The man, even when he was drunk, was still amazing.

Just as Brian climaxed he yelled “Brandon”. The name ripped out Justin’s heart. Brian didn’t just have sex with him. He had sex with Brandon, at least he thought he had. It seemed Connor was right, Brian had to have whatever Ardan had. Even if Ardan was dead and gone.

Tears started to fall down his face again, he felt his heart ripping into shreds. Brian’s eyes seemed to be having trouble focusing. Then without warning he pulled out of Justin, shock and a bite of pain made him hiss.

Brian looked at his brother-in-law, who now was crying. He hadn’t been when they were having sex. It was only after he called his name that he started to tear up. There was only one explanation. Brandon had convinced himself that Ardan had come back. That he was with Ardan. When Brian yelled his name he realized his mistake.

Jumping out of bed, Brian quickly dressed. “This will never happen again; you have my word.” With that he left. Maybe it was time to open a fourth branch. That would mean he would be gone for a while getting it off the ground. That’s exactly what he’d do. Brandon didn’t need to see his face, and Brian didn’t think he could handle the betrayal he felt. He hadn’t been that drunk. He had just wanted Brandon so much, and after finding him having sex with Emmett earlier he thought Brandon was ready to move on. That had been his mistake.  

Starting a branch in L.A. was dangerous, Brian knew this. There were already so much competition in the area. L.A. was a mecca for advertising. But he had something many didn’t, a list of potential clients that had begged him to put a branch up in sunny Cali.

It was still in the planning period though. Looking for locations, talking to other potential clients. It was starting to feel like he should just throw the towel in on this endeavor. Not only that he was flying to L.A. every few days. He’d work so much he hadn’t even seen his mother in a month.

There was no way he could look any of them in the eye though. Brandon hadn’t known who he was when he slept with him. To Brian, he was no better than a rapist. Just the thought of that night turned his stomach. He’d been so jealous. Just the thought of Emmett touching Brandon had bothered him more than it should. After all, he should want his nephew to grown up in a happy home. Between his mother, Debbie and Vic he had a great childhood. The only exception was Jack Kinney. They were lucky though, he didn’t seem to care about them. Ciaran deserved loving parents, even if Ardan was no longer around.

“Get out of my room,” Justin yelled at Daphne.

Sure it made him feel like a child, but he had the flu. He wasn’t one that liked to be babied. And because he didn’t want to risk Ciaran or Joan getting sick from him, he had banished himself to the room.

“I was just checking on you,” she pouted. Ever since she started taking care of Ciaran they became friends.

“I’m not a child. And you can’t get sick too, Ciaran needs you.”

“He misses you.”

“I miss him too, but I can’t risk it.”

“I know, Joan told me to tell you to go to the doctor. She’s already made you an appointment. Vic is going to take you.”

“I don’t wanna.” Now, it was turn to pout.

“They’ll give you medicine. You’ll get better faster.”

He couldn’t really argue there. He missed his little boy. Even though before he got sick he had resigned himself just to staying in his room.

“Fine, when is my appointment?”

“In an hour.”

Justin groaned and forced himself out of bed. This day was going to suck, he just knew it.

After three calls in one day, Brian had finally been convinced to visit his mother.

When he entered the house, he saw Daphne with Ciaran. She had him dressed to go out.

“Where are you two going?” he asked as he hung up his suit jacket by the door.

“Well, we have a play date with the Beasley twins.”

“He’s a baby. How would a play date work?”

“We put them on their stomachs for tummy time and let them communicate with each other.”

“That’s idiotic.”

“Don’t you have small villagers to scare?” she asked.

He liked Daphne. She was spunky.

“Haha, now where is my mother?”

“In the sunroom, I believe. Well, it’s been a blast, gotta go.”

He hesitantly walked to the sunroom. It worried him that he’d see Brandon, who would now hate him. As he walked into the sunroom, he steeled himself. The first thing he saw was a large canvas on Brandon’s easel. He remembered seeing the painting a month ago, it had been almost finished. It was amazing. Now thought it was completely trashed. Black and grey paint splattered all over the sunrise, road and brick house.

“What happened to it?”

“Sunshine broke down a few weeks ago. He threw paint on all of his work except the portrait of Ciaran. He’s sick now but had shut himself up long before that.”

“It’s my fault,” he said, sitting on the end of the chaise his mother was laying out on.

“How could it be your fault?”

“I slept with him. It wasn’t until after, I realized he thought I was Ardan.”

Joan knew this was the time to finally be truthful. Well, that had been in the beginning but she couldn’t stand to see her son so broken. She just hoped he didn’t hate her in the end.

“Brian, I have something to show you. I don’t want you to get so upset you do something you’ll regret though.”

“What?”

She pulled a picture out of the book that was resting on her lap, and handed it to him. Brian looked down at the picture but couldn’t figure out why she gave it to him.

“I don’t understand. Why are you handing me a picture of Ardan with one of his tricks?”

“That’s not, darling. That is his husband…Brandon.”

She said the words but they didn’t make any sense to him. “That’s not Brandon.”

“Yes, it is. The boy and Ciaran aren’t Ardan’s.”

Anger flowed though him. “How long have you known?” he bit out.

“Since the moment I saw him. It was when I realized none of them survived. I’ve had Brandon and the baby entombed with Ardan.”

“And you just decided not to tell me?”

“I thought you’d make them go away. You’ve been so busy lately, it has just been me, Vic and Debbie in his house. And they have their own lives. I think Carl is going to propose to his Debbie any day now. Vic and Rodney are so close; I think he’s ready to retire. I didn’t want to be alone,” she cried.

He couldn’t argue there. Before losing Ardan, he only would drop by every few months. He always assumed Debbie and Vic would always be there for her.

“Does he know you know? Has this been something you two have laughed about?”

“No, he doesn’t know. I was afraid he would leave.”

“Is that why you tried to push us tougher?”

She nodded. “I hoped if you got together, Ciaran would really be my grandson, and maybe you’d have some more. It seems like you’re never going to settle down.”

Before anything more could be said Vic and the impersonator walked in the sunroom.

Quickly, Joan dried her eyes with her handkerchief. “Sunshine, what did the doctor say?”

“What is you real name?” Brian demanded.

The boy’s face paled. “Justin Taylor.”

It was over; everything. “Get your kid and get out,” Brian snarled.

“Brian, no,” his mother cried.

“Out. You’ve had your laugh at the grieving family.”

“No, it wasn’t like that,” Justin begged him to understand.

“You have twenty minutes to collect your things. I’ll allow you to keep anything that was bought for you or the baby. I think that is more than generous.”

“Brian, this is my house. I say he can stay,” Joan said in a shaky voice.

“Do what you want, but if he’s not out of this house in twenty minutes I’ll press charges.”

If he got arrested, he’d have to choose between Ethan and state care for Ciaran.”

“I’ll leave,” he said brokenly.

Justin could hear them arguing after he ran out of the room. It turned out even with the gifts he didn’t have that much stuff. Only two bags and Ciaran’s two bags.

He cried as Vic drove him to the bus station. The train would be fast but he couldn’t get back on a train.

“Do you know where you’re going?” Vic asked sadly.

“I only have one option left. I just hope it doesn’t end up the way I think it will.”

He didn’t say anymore. He hoped his dad wouldn’t slam the door in his face or worse.

As the taxi pulled up in front of the dilapidated house, his spirits got even worse. The house looked like it hadn’t been cared for since he left over two years ago. The lawn was over grown and a codes violation was on the door.

The taxi driver dumped everything on the ground. Paying him, Justin turned his attention back to the house. Justin carried the baby and his carrier up the walk, leaving the bags on the ground in case he needed to escape fast.

After banging on the door for a few minutes, he finally heard rumbling noise inside. The door opened and the air in this lungs rushed out.

“Dad?”

The man before him was a shadow of his former self. He was skinner than he’d ever been, his skin a sickly yellow color.

“Justin? They- They said you were dead. They said they found your bag and license.”

“It was a mistake. Can I come in?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yes, of course.” He shuffled out of the way. “Come in, come in. You got a baby?’ That’s nice.”

Justin’s jaw dropped. What had happened to his father?

As he walked in the saw how bad everything had gotten. Filthy dishes on every surface. Trash overflowing in the garbage cans. But surprising no beer bottles were in sight.

Justin was worried to set the carrier on any of the surfaces or floor. Luckily the living room had been cleaner.

“Church lady keeps coming over, she does what she can,” his father said in Justin’s unasked question.

Craig Taylor sat down heavily in a dusty recliner.

“Dad, what happened?”

Looking down at his fingernails before looking back up Craig answered. “I’m sick. It’s my own fault. Cirrhosis of the liver. Years of alcohol abuse. Given it all up. Doctor just put me on some more meds. I wanted to die after the police told me they suspected you were dead. I would too except for I wanted to bury you proper. I thought maybe when the accident happened. I just felt it in my heart. But the body wasn’t you. It wasn’t until weeks later they found the bag. They thought maybe you had been burned so much they couldn’t find enough. I’m so glad you’re here.”

Justin was shocked when his dad wrapped him up in his arms. For the first time since being kicked out by Brian he could breathe again. His dad wasn’t kicking him out. He saw Ciaran and didn’t shutter in disgust. He should have come home in the first place. Then none of the harm to the Kinney’s he’d done would have happened.

“Sorry, the place is so dirty. I’ve not had the energy to clean up. Hopefully the new meds will start working soon.”

“You don’t worry about that, Dad. I’ll clean this place top to bottom. I’ll get a job, maybe Mr. Thompson will hire me back. I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

Craig smiled sweetly at his son. Justin being alive was a god’s send. When he had found out about the cirrhosis and the talks of a living donor were thrown around he had been so upset. The police had told him about the chance Justin dying in the crash. He only had the one son. But now he had a second chance.

All he had to do was convince Justin to become a donor for him. The fact that there was a chance for Justin to die during surgery didn’t really bother him. Maybe then he could have the whole kidney. He knew if Justin did die his brat would be in care before the day was over. Not that it mattered if Justin lived, as soon as he had want he wanted, he’d kick him to the curb. Might as well get a clean house while he’s at it.      

The house felt so empty now, any signs of life had disappeared along with Sunshine. Justin, she reminded herself. That’s what he said his name was, Justin Taylor. It had been two days since he left. Since then Brian hadn’t been over, too upset at her for the lies. She felt so alone.

“Breathe out,” her doctor said.

In the old days, him making house calls wasn’t so odd, but now it was something only the rich could afford. It wasn’t even her cardiologist; it was her family doctor. The same man that looked after her boys when they had colds. She trusted him, and would be sad when he finally did retire.

“I want you to get more rest. You’re sounding a bit worse from last time.”

“Yes, life seems to have taken a turn again. After losing Ardan, I didn’t think it could get any worse.”

“Well, you need to not stress so much. I’m going to refill your anxiety medication. Now, anything else before I go?”

“No,” she said quietly.

“That’s good. Is your son-in-law here? I really need to speak to him.”

Tears started to run freely down her face. She found herself spilling the beans about the whole ugly ordeal. He listened and grabbed her hand sympathetically.

“I’m sorry, Joanie. But it sounds like Brian was in the right. Having someone like that in your home, you don’t know what they’re capable of. It was generous of you to take him and his son into your house. Then for him to lie and scheme. I wonder who he was going to pass the new baby off on.”

“New baby?” Joan asked, confused.

Dr. Trigg looked a little embarrassed at what he just said. It seemed to be he didn’t mean to let that little tidbit out.

“Nothing, it’s nothing you need to worry about now.”

“Paul, you better tell me now what you meant.”

She wasn’t going to let him out of the room without telling her what he was talking about. Because, the way it sounded is that Sunshine was pregnant again. But if he was…who was the father? He almost never went out. When he did it was with Brian and his friends. Brian had said they had slept together and that was when everything went to hell.

“I can’t discuss another patient’s file with you,” he said apologetically.

“You better tell me right now what you meant?” she said sternly.

“Joan, please.”

“Paul.”

“Fine, when he came in a few days ago we ran some tests on him. Yesterday, one test came back with some surprising news. He’s pregnant. If I was to make a guess by the numbers, around a month.”

It matched from when Brian and Sunshine were together. She had a grandchild on the way. She still considered Ciaran her grandchild, but even Brian couldn’t argue with this one. He’d have to let the boy come back now.

“Thank you, doctor. I’ll get that rest, I promise.” After she called her son, she thought.

Justin had finally gotten the lawn looking better. Maybe now codes would stop going after them. The house was looking much better. He had cleaned the garbage out then washed all the linens. He had all the windows open while he dusted. Ciaran’s seemed to get a little sick from the air, so he needed fresh air flowing in.

“Have you heard from Mr. Thompson yet?” his father asked as he came down the newly repaired stairs. He had to replace one step and tighten the banister.

“Yes, he said that I could have my old job back. As of tomorrow, I’ll be working midnight shift at The Tyrant.”

“That’s great news. What about the baby? I’d love to take care of him but I can barely take care of myself.”

“Oh, I know, I understand. Mrs. Gentry said that she’d love to watch Ciaran.”

Mrs. Gentry had been his mother’s best friend. She was the only reason Justin ate most of his childhood after his mom died. His father would spend most of his money on booze. Mrs. Gentry would bring food for them or ask Justin to come over.

“That’s good, she’s a nosy, old bat though, I hope you know.”

“She’s your age, Dad,” Justin said with a laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh at the old man. Do you think you could take me to my appointment?”

“Of course. When is it?”

His dad checked his watch. “About two hours.”

“Good, I’ll make us a quick lunch then we’ll be on our way.”

“You don’t have to make me anything,” Craig said pitifully. This was too easy.

“Yes I do, now come sit down at the table.”

In the last two days, Craig was more sure Justin would volunteer to give him part of his liver. Now all he had to do was let Justin hear about the possibility.

After lunch they took the baby over to Mrs. Gentry, she was looking after him while they were gone. Justin didn’t want to have the baby in the hospital. He was still feeling sick from the whatever that had made him sick. The doctor said it wasn’t the flu but wouldn’t know until all his tests came back. Looked like now he would just have to guess.

“Do you want to come in with me?” his dad asked him.

“Sure, I’d like to know more about what is going on.”

Ever since he came back, it was like his dad was a different man. He was the father he had always wished he’d have. Now that he had him, he would do anything to keep him.

“Mr. Taylor, Dr. Shaman is ready for you.”

Justin followed his father down a sterile hallway and into the third door they came too. It had the word LAB on the door.

“This won’t take a minute,” his father told him.

Soon, his father was done with getting his blood drawn and they headed to another room. This room was an examination room. He sat down in one of the chairs while his father got up on the table.

“She usually doesn’t take very long.”

His father wasn’t lying, not a minute later a tall, blonde woman in a white coat came in.

“Mr. Taylor, it’s good to see you. Oh, who is this?”

“This is my son Justin. Justin, this is Dr. Shaman.”

“Oh, I’m so glad to meet you Justin.”

“You too, Doctor.”

The appointment continued and Justin tried to decide what to do to help his father out more. Something caught his attention near the end of the appointment.

“What did you just say? What’s a live donor?”

“Oh, if a family member is a match or really any volunteer that is a match they can donate a portion of their liver.”

“And that would make him better?”

“Not completely, he’d been on anti-rejection meds for life and there is a chance it wouldn’t take in the first place.”

“But I’m willing to take that risk,” his father spoke up.

“What about me? Is it possible that I’m a match?”

Craig inwardly smiled, good old predictable Justin. So much like his mother. Jennifer would have been so proud.

“We can test your compatibility if you wish,” Dr. Shaman said.

“Yes, please. I want to see if I can help him.”

“Good, I’ll set it up.”

Brian was still ignoring his mother’s calls. It had been almost a week since he left her house. She had been crying about not wanting the liar to go. They had both lied to him but he felt it was more the interloper’s fault. His mother had just gone through a traumatic loss, then this man shows up and she knew she lost all three of them. Upon learning that it wasn’t Brandon but someone named Justin, he felt like he lost his brother all over again. Ciaran hadn’t been a part of Ardan. All traces of Ardan were gone.

“Mr. Kinney, you have a visitor,” his assistant, Cynthia told him over the intercom.

“I’m busy,” he said. He wasn’t in the mood for any loud mouths today.

“It’s your mother and Vic.”

Sighing, he relented. “Fine, let them in.”

His mother was wearing a solid navy blue business dress. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I am majority owner still. I have a business meeting with Hilliard.”

Brian rolled his eyes, Joyce Hilliard still treated him like the little boy that peed in her rose garden.

“So what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you today?”

“Well, you haven’t returned any of my phone calls. So I decided to see if you were kidnapped by aliens.”

“No, mother. I’m just rather busy.”

“Aren’t you always. I’ve got news. I’m setting up a trust for Justin and Ciaran. They will be being getting a portion of the agency when I finally kick off.”

“What are you talking about? That liar is no longer in our lives. And it’s going to stay that way.”

“What about your child?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I see you didn’t check your messages from me.”

“I just wasn’t ready to hear you defend someone that lied to all of us. It’s still hard for me to forgive you.”

“Well, if you had listened you would have known Justin was pregnant when you kicked him out.”

“Pregnant?” He was shocked then suspicious. “He was probably lying to you Mother.”

 “He didn’t tell me; Dr. Trigg told me. He ran the tests when Sunshine was in to see him. The results came in after you had kicked Justin out.”

“Whose kid is it then?” He wasn’t about to believe that it was his. They had only been together once and he used protection.

“Could it be yours?” Both of them knew it could be.

“Doubtful, probably Emmett’s.”

“Emmett Honeycutt? Why do you say that?” Now that was doubtful.

“I know they slept together. I didn’t stay and watch who fucked who though. He also went to Connor’s hotel room once. He said he didn’t have sex with him but we know how much a liar he is.”

“Connor James? Ardan’s best friend. I thought he was straight.”

“Well, I thought I could trust you. Shit happens.”

“I understand that you’re still upset. But there is a chance you are the father. Don’t lie and say you couldn’t be. I don’t believe Justin was with anyone else. So please, can’t you just let him come back?”

“No, that’s final. If he comes back, I’ll have him arrested for impersonating Brandon.”

“What happened to you, Brian?”

“You did, Mother. You let me believe he was Ardan’s husband.”

“And you slept with him. That says more about you than me.”

She turned and left without another word. The words irritated him more than he would like to admit. Was he attracted to Sunshine because he believed he was Brandon?

“Well, I have good news and bad news,” Dr. Shaman told Justin.

“What?”

“Well, you are a match, that’s the good news. Bad news is that you can’t donate at the moment.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re pregnant.”

Everything went black at those words.

Brian pulled up in front of the rundown house, he knew was Justin’s father’s place. It looked like someone had just started fixing it up. That meant his guess, that the liar was hiding at his dad’s place was right. If Justin was here, that meant he would be trying to fix up the place for Ciaran. But no matter what he did, this place still looked like a dump.

After getting out of the car he could hear yelling from inside the house. The closer he got the more he could hear.

“I’m not.” That was Sunshine’s voice.

“Do you want me to die? Was I such a horrible father.”

Brian could hear Ciaran crying from where the voices were originating from. It worried him when he heard Ciaran’s crying just get louder with the voices.

“Of course not. This isn’t about that. I can’t terminate this pregnancy. Please, Dad, you have to understand.”

“You don’t tell me what to do; you’re worthless just like your mother. That thing is a bastard, nothing good can come from a bastard. You will get rid of it.”

“I told you, I’m keeping this baby. It’s mine, just as much as Ciaran. And unlike Ciaran, this baby has a grandmother that would love him.”

“Not likely. I’m guessing you have no idea who the other father is.”

“Ciaran is just fine with only me, so will this baby.”

“Right. I didn’t want a fag as a son, but if I had to have one you wouldn’t be the one I would choose.”

“What does that mean?” The baby in the background started to settle. Brian guessed that meant Sunshine picked him up.

“Let’s just say, they’d never get pregnant. Even if they were a freak like you.”

“Oh, so they would never bottom is that? I could tell you things that would make your head explode. Instead, I’m just going to pack my things and go.”

“You can’t.” There was panic in the voice.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Dad. But I’m not terminating this pregnancy. We can find another donor for you.”

There was a noise before Brian clearly heard a smack. The baby then started to cry, hard.

“You will get rid of that thing. And you will get rid of the one that’s already here. I’m sure there are lots of people would pay a pretty penny for a healthy, white baby.”

“Just because I don’t want you to die doesn’t mean I have to stay here for this,” Justin yelled.

“Where do you think you’ll go? You don’t have anywhere else. You’re pathetic. You’ve always been pathetic.”

Brian had heard enough. He tried the door, and was unsurprised when the doorknob turned. As he opened the door he saw Justin holding the baby to his chest while glaring at his father. Brian could see Justin’s face had a red hand print on it, explaining the hit he had heard.

“He does have a place to go,” Brian said, shocking both men.

“Brian?” Justin asked, his face showed his surprise.

“Who is this?” the older man asked.

“I’m the father of Ciaran and the baby he’s pregnant with.”

Justin felt his own jaw drop. Brian must had heard about what they were arguing about, but why was he there in the first place? And why had he said he was Ciaran’s father?

“You can’t be; he doesn’t even know who the father is. He’s a slut, just like his mother.”

Justin watched in horror as Brian swung at his father. Brian’s fist connected with his dad’s jaw, dropping the man to the floor with the impact. Looking down, Justin could see it knocked his dad out. When it looked like Brian was going to hit him again, Justin grabbed his arm. It was a dangerous move since he was holding Ciaran, but he couldn’t let Brian kill his dad. The man might be a first class jerk but he was still his dad.

“Stop, please,” he begged, yanking on Brian’s arm.

Brian rounded on him, and for a split second Justin thought he might take a swing at him. But then Brian’s eyes cleared and he looked down at Ciaran. It had been two months since he saw Brian. Two months since he found out that he was pregnant. Ever since then, it had been a never-ending fight with his dad. He’d been telling the man that he couldn’t abort the baby, finally it seemed he was getting desperate. Maybe because Justin was only four days away from his second trimester.

“Get your things, we’re getting out of here.”

That tone bothered Justin, he was tired of being told what to do. First his dad, then Ethan, then his dad again. He wanted to stand on his own two feet, after all he’d have two children soon.

“No,” he said, hoping he sounded stronger than he felt.

Brian couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This little twat was giving him a hard time. His temper was rising just looking at the little liar. It had taken him a while to calm down enough to come and see him. First, he just wanted to question him about the baby. That was until he heard the fight between Justin and his father. When his mother told him that Justin was pregnant, at first he accepted that he was his. Then the doubt settled in, that was until he confronted Emmett. Emmett told him about the fake tattoo Justin had helped him with. That explained Emmett but Brian didn’t know if Justin had really slept with Connor or not. He hoped the younger man had better taste.

“Is that baby you’re carrying mine?”

“Of course it is. You’re the only one I’ve slept with since Ciaran’s father, Ethan.”

That was something else he wanted to talk to Justin about. “What about Ciaran’s father? This Ethan, where is he?”

A groan sounded from the floor, Justin’s father was starting to come back around.

“Where do you want to take us?” Justin asked.

“Back home…to my mother’s,” he cleared up.

Justin decided he needed to be fully truthful with Brian. Secrets and lies only cause pain and anger. If he was going to have any kind of civil relationship with his unborn child’s father, then he needed to tell him everything.

His father groaned again. “I think we really should get out of here,” Justin said.

“Yeah, I’ll take Ciaran while you grab your things.”

Justin quickly ran up the stairs, packing mostly Ciaran’s things. He could deal with leaving most of his things behind. What mattered most was Ciaran. In a few months Justin’s clothes would be useless anyway. But he could say the same about Ciaran, at six months he was growing quickly out of his clothes.

Before he left the room he called Mrs. Gentry, so she could come and make sure his dad was alright. He felt bad about leaving after Brian hit him, but his dad had really scared him before Brian came in.

They left with his father glaring at them from the same spot he fell. Justin knew his father was no longer an option, he just hoped that they could find him a donor. Justin just didn’t want to have anything to do with him any longer. It was clear what his father really thought of him. There was no way he could let his children be around the man.

Once Ciaran was safely strapped into Brian’s fancy sedan, they set off. The car looked like it was brand new. For all Justin knew it was, maybe Brian buys a new car every week. He knew about the ‘Vette and the Jeep. But he could have a full garage of cars. Actually, that sounded about right.

“I need to tell you the truth,” he said quietly.

“That would be nice.”

“I met Ethan the first day I moved to New York. He was sweet, kind and more experienced, at least that’s what he made me think. He was also a musician, just starting his career. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was just a warm body to him. He didn’t like when people paid me any attention though, he liked to be the center of attention. After I found out I was pregnant, he kicked me out. That’s when I got mixed up and got on the train that night. Ardan befriended me on the train, and then introduced me to Brandon. I only knew them for a little while before the accident. When I woke up, I really didn’t know who I was. I would have never gone to your mother’s if I had. But that first night my memory started to come back. I had nowhere else to go, and a baby to think about. So I kept quiet. Then you took me out and I met Connor.”

Justin saw Brian’s knuckles turn white as he gripped the steering wheel. “So you did have sex with him.”

“No, I told you I didn’t. But when I was in his hotel room, I saw someone I hoped never to see again.”

“Who?”

“Ethan.”

Brian looked over to him before looking back at the road in front of him. “Why was he there?”

“Apparently, he was Connor’s childhood friend.”

“Bull, we didn’t have any friend named Ethan. There was Ethan Renaldo but he wasn’t anyone’s friend.”

“Connor called him Patrick, I still don’t really understand it.”

“Patrick Carter?” Brian asked in disbelief. Ciaran couldn’t be that little weasel’s son. There was no way.

“I don’t know his real last name. I knew him as Ethan Gold, violinist and grade A snob.”

“That’s Patrick alright. What happened then?”

Justin hesitated, this was the time Brian kicks him out again. He decided to rush through it.

“Connor knew I wasn’t Brandon, he had seen a photo. When he found out Ethan was Ciaran’s father, he came up with a scheme. I agreed to it but wasn’t going to act on it, I have until Christmas to figure a way out.”

“What was the scheme?”

“To get you to marry me and pay off Ethan.”

Brian barked out a laugh. “You have to be joking.”

“I didn’t say it was a good scheme. Connor seems to really want you to hurt. He said you seduced him then told Ardan.”

“That’s a lie. He had this kink that he wanted to bed twins. He already had Ardan following him like a puppy dog. I made sure Ardan saw him for the scum he was. It ended their relationship. It was stupid of him to think I would marry you just because you batted those baby blues in my direction”

“Why did you sleep with me?”

“What?” Brian really didn’t want to get into it.

“Why did you fuck me? They said it was because you couldn’t stand Ardan having something you didn’t.”

“Are you asking me if I fucked you because I thought you were Ardan’s husband?”

“Yes, I’m asking that.”

“Fine, yes that’s why I did it.”

Even though that’s what he suspected, it still hurt to hear it. Ethan didn’t really want him, just kept him around because he was easy. Brian only slept with him because he thought he was his late brother’s husband. It was like a big cosmic joke on him. Every time he saw a light at the end of the tunnel, it would turn out to be a dying candle.

The drive back to Joan’s was quiet. He could tell Brian was thinking deeply about something.

“I think we should beat them at their own game.”

“What are you talking about?” Justin asked.

“I’m sure there was a threat in this scheme by Connor.” It wasn’t a question.

“He said Ethan would sue me for custody. He said as soon as you found out you’d kick me out, not off base there. He also pointed out what the truth would do to Joan’s heart.”

“I’m sure he did. This is the plan. We’re getting married.”

Justin sputtered.” “What in the hell are you talking about?”

“Well it’s like this, you are pregnant with my child. I won’t just write a check and be done with it. I have an appearance to uphold. Also my mother wants,” he said, gesturing between the two of them. “us to happen.”

“Wait, I thought she thought you were straight?”

“I told her the truth after you left. The old man is dead and gone, I don’t have to live in secret anymore, most everyone knew anyway. If you really think about it, it’s a perfect solution. You get a roof over your head, a great place to raise your children. You’ll have a beautiful home with just you and the kids.”

“Wait, where will you be?” Not that he was considering marrying Brian.

“At my loft, of course.”

“I thought you wanted to get married.”

“Well, yeah but only in name. We both will still have our own lives. I’ll still have the loft and my life. You can, I don’t know, maybe get a tennis instructor or gardner.”

Tears started to run down Justin’s face. He usually wasn’t so emotional, he blamed it on the hormones. In truth, he knew it was the best chance at a good life he would get. After all the lies and deceit, he knew he didn’t even deserve half of this.

“Can I still live with Joan? I don’t want to be in a big empty house with just the kids,” he asked quietly.

“Sure, I don’t care where you live. The only thing I ask is for you to pretend to be the happy husband at social functions.”

“Sure,” Justin whispered. Who needed love and devotion anyway?

“I have to tell you something. When I told you there was no one in between Ethan and you, that was a lie. I did things I’m not proud of to feed myself while I was pregnant with Ciaran.”

Justin looked at his reflection in the mirror. He had been practicing for the past hour on his little speech.

Shaking his head, he tried again. “Brian, I prostituted myself when I was pregnant with Ciaran.”

“That seems like something you should say to my face, Sunshine.”

Gasping, Justin turned around, Brian was standing in front of his open bedroom door. The man had a strange smirk on his face.

“I didn’t know you were there.”

They had gotten back a couple days before. Joan was ecstatic when they told her about the wedding. Emmett was planning it. It was just going to be a quick, small affair. Which Brian pointed out would mean only a few hundred people. Joan seemed to be okay with the them getting married so quickly. Justin didn’t think she believed they were in love but maybe she thought they would get there soon enough. She was delusional if she thought that.

“Are you going to say anything about my past?”

“Nope, that’s all behind us now. From now one you’re husband of Brian Kinney. Now hurry up, we have an engagement party to attend.”

“Don’t you think this all is happening too fast?”

“Why wait? It’s not like we both don’t know what we’re getting into. The only thing that will happen if we wait is your pregnancy will be more noticeable.”

“Okay, I guess that makes since. By the way, I have my first doctor’s appointment next week. Do you want to come?” Justin asked hopefully.

“Why on Earth would I want to do that?”

Justin forced himself not to show that Brian upset him. He was not going to show him any weakness. He would use that weakness to his advantage. The only person Justin could trust was himself. If he was only going to be used as a trophy husband, he would make sure that he protected himself and his children.

“I want my own bank account. I also want you to put enough money in it that I’d be able to live happily with the kids, in case you toss us aside.” He was proud when his voice didn’t shake.

Brian looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Why do you need money?”

“I just told you, in case you toss us out. I need to think about the kids. You gave me your rules; now I’ll give you mine. I want a bank account and money that you can’t touch. I don’t want to see you flaunting your tricks in front of me. Lastly, your mother has to know the truth. I don’t want to have to pretend to be a happy family living here when my husband doesn’t.”

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to start making demands?”

“I think since I’m not going to be a traditional husband, I need not to act like one. You said it yourself, we both know what we’re getting into.”

A smile appeared on Brian’s face. This time though, it wasn’t cruel or hurtful, it was a genuine smile.

“Deal. We’ll go to the bank tomorrow. Then next week we’ll go to your appointment.”

Justin’s eyes widened. “I thought you weren’t going?”

“You were right too. We have to make it look real, especially when Connor and Ethan get to town. Which brings me to another matter. I’m going to have Ethan give up his rights on Ciaran and adopt him.”

“Do you think he will?”

“I’ll make him.”

At the engagement party Brian’s friends looked at him with pity. He had guessed Brian told them of the real nature of their relationship. Emmett and Ted talked to him for a while, Emmett was having a blast planning the upcoming wedding. Justin did like Michael’s boyfriend Ben, he was really funny and nice. When Brian and Michael disappeared to places unknown, he hung out with Ben. They talked about Carnegie Mellon, where Ben taught. Justin told him about wanting to go to art school when he was younger. That was when Ben mentioned Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Art.

“Only the best of the best get in,” Ben told him.

“To go to a real art school. That would be a dream come true.”

Ben’s eyebrows knitted together. “Why don’t you apply to some? Brian has more than enough money to pay tuition.”

“Maybe when this new baby is in preschool. I want my children to rely on me for their care, not someone else.”

Daphne had already gotten another job, so Justin had convinced Brian and Joan that he didn’t need a nanny. He’d already had Debbie and Lindsay offer to babysit anytime he needed.

“What are you two ladies gabbing about?” Brian asked as he appeared with Michael trailing behind him. Justin noticed it then that Michael’s shirt was inside out. It hadn’t been like that before left. Ben seemed to noticed too and glared at Brian and Michael.

The party ended pretty soon after that. Justin stayed away from the Carters, he didn’t want to risk them finding out Ciaran was their grandson. Joan went to bed as did Debbie and Vic. The caterers cleaned up and left soon after. Brian left with Michael and his other friends. They were going to Babylon to continue the celebration. That left Justin alone, Debbie took Ciaran up to bed with her. She wanted Justin to enjoy his night.

Joan had given him a car for an engagement gift. The gift had almost made him pass out in shock when she gave him the keys. He couldn’t get over what rich people thought was normal gifts. So now he had a brand new car in the garage.

He left a note on the counter before grabbing the keys to the car. The huge mansion felt suffocating at the moment. He needed to get out of there, quickly. Not really knowing where to go he drove towards Pittsburgh, Joan’s house being about twenty minutes outside of it. Once inside the city limits he drove towards Liberty Avenue. He remembered the way from when Brian took him. He passed by Babylon, then stopped and parked near a place called BoyToy, he knew he wouldn’t be carded in a place like that. At twenty, he looked sixteen…on a good day. It was what his previous clients paid well for. It wasn’t until he was inside the sleazy bar, that he realized what he was doing. He was going back to something that was known to him. Something he was in control…something that wasn’t decided by Brian Fucking Kinney.

He sat down at the on a bar stool. It wasn’t long before he had someone on the hook.

“How much?” an older man said without hesitation.

Justin looked over at the man, he was median height with a receding hairline.

“Depends on what you want?” Justin said, giving his best enticing look.

“Want to get out of here, then we’ll talk about prices?”

When Justin was this person, he felt like he was completely different. He was a different person. He was strong, sure and in control. This was how it was supposed to be. He hated the act that he would have to put on, but he loved the control it gave him over the men.

“How about we talk about it here?”

The man smiled and sat down beside him. It wouldn’t take long before he had the man eating out of his hand.

“I’m Kenneth,” the man introduced himself.

“Taylor,” he said, giving the name usually gave johns.

Brian couldn’t get over the bad feeling he was getting. He knew he had been hard on Justin explaining how their marriage had to be. But he knew better than to give Justin false hope. He didn’t want to turn out like his dad. Making Justin believe they were happy but running around on him behind his back. This was the best for both of them. There was no way he could commit to a relationship. But Justin was pregnant with his child. It changed things around, that was for sure.

“Brian, tell Ben what we did earlier,” Michael said with annoyance in his voice.

“What the hell are you on about?” Brian said, glaring at Michael.

“Just tell him,” Michael demanded.

“What we did earlier, when?”

“When I took off my shirt.”

“Oh, I was putting ointment on that place on your back.”

“What place?” Ben asked.

Brian closed his mouth, it wasn’t his secret to tell. It really wasn’t a secret, Michael just wanted to surprise Ben with it. A tattoo of their initials interlocked. Brian thought it was a mistake but he wasn’t his to make. It didn’t make sense to him that Michael was ruining his body like that. Especially, since they hadn’t been together for very long. Just the thought of doing that to his body made him shiver.

“You’re on your own,” he told Michael. He clamped Michael on the back before grabbing a trick and heading to the backroom. He wished he could shake the feeling that something was very wrong though.

The house was dark when he arrived, he had thought about spending the night at his loft. But there was something that he needed to make sure of. He was worried that he had upset Justin too much. He kind of liked the kid. Not that he would tell him that, or that he was beautiful. Usually, that wasn’t something that attracted him. He liked big, hot studs. Justin wasn’t his type…at all.

He quietly knocked on Justin’s door. There was no answer. Finally, he decided Justin must be asleep. Opening the door, he peeked in, Justin was sitting on the bed with just a towel around his waist. Brian couldn’t really see much of him; the room was dark.

“Justin?” he said, walking into the room.

Justin didn’t even flinch when Brian grabbed his chin and pulling his face up. Bruises covered the pale skin, his eye swollen shut. Brian let go of his chin and went to the wall, turning on the light. As soon as the light was on the picture got worse. Bruises on his back, arms and around his neck. Most were still darkening, meaning they hadn’t happened very long ago.

“Jesus, Sunshine, what happened?”

“Client got a little excited.”

“Client?” A knot formed in his stomach.

Justin looked up at him, his one good eye locking with Brian’s. “Yes, client.”

“I see.” Brian clenched his fists. It was then Brian noticed Justin’s stomach was untouched.

“I told him to not hit my stomach. He made sure to overcompensate with the other places.”

Brian knelt down in front of Justin and grabbed his left hand. “Is this how you really want to live?”

“No, but I can control it.”

“Really? It doesn’t look that in control.”

“I made the choice to go home with him. I’m the one who calls the shots there.” Brian kept his mouth shut, it was obvious that things had gone off track for Justin tonight.

“How about this, you get a job. A real job. Then you will have control over what happens.”

“I can’t, Ciaran and the baby.”

“Lindsay’s looking for an assistant at her gallery. Maybe you should apply. You’d be able to work out a schedule and get a nanny, this one just for times you’re working. When the baby comes you can take leave then go back.”

“Lindsay has a gallery?”

“Yes, The Peterson/Bloom Gallery.”

“I don’t know; I don’t really have any experience.”

“Good thing you have an in with the boss then huh?” Brian smiled at him, wagging his eyebrows. “You’re an artist. This will be a way to rub elbows with other artists.”

Justin laughed. “I don’t know.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun. Think of all the stuck-up artists that you get to schmooze.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it. But, what am I going to tell people. I look like a disaster. What will your mother think?” Justin started to hyperventilate.

“Calm down. This is what’s going to happen. I’m going to ask Deb to take care of Ciaran. Maybe even hire a temporary nanny, Mother will be here to supervise.”

“What about me.”

“You are going on a vacation celebrating your upcoming marriage with your handsome fiancé.”

“Where will I hide out.”

“The Bahamas.”

“What?” Surely, Justin hadn’t heard him right.

“You heard me.”

It sounded like a dream, but there was no way he could leave Ciaran for a week. “I can’t, Ciaran needs me.”

“He’ll be fine. He’ll have two doting grandmothers over him and a grandfather.”

Justin smiled, the little he knew of Brian he knew how much he loved Debbie and Vic. His dad wasn’t ever around, so Vic took the fatherly role. Debbie was like a second mother to him, sometimes more because she was Michael’s mom too.

“Maybe I shouldn’t,” he said, but he already knew Brian won; they both did.

“Come on, change. I’ll call my pilot.”

“I get to use my passport.” The police gave his passport and license to his dad after the accident when they thought he had died.

“You have a passport?” Brian looked surprised, not that he couldn’t blame him. He didn’t have any stamps on it.

“Yeah, I was supposed to go to France the summer after my senior year.”

“What happened?”

“My dad found the money I saved. He spent it on booze and god knows what else.”

“Can speak French?”

“Oui.” Justin just hoped he didn’t asked for a bigger demonstration. Mostly, he knew how to ask where a restroom and hostel were.

“That’ll get fun when the kids are older. We’ll stay at a chateau in southern France, Paris is for tourists, trust me you don’t want to go there.”

Justin laughed, although it hurt. “You are such a snob.”

“I can’t help it; I’m used to the finer things.”

Justin rolled his eyes. There was a little part of him that was excited about the things Brian was talking about. But he didn’t want Brian to bring guys back to the hotel if they did go.

“I don’t want you to trick while we’re there.”

Brian bit his tongue to keep him from telling Justin to shove it. He knew why Justin acted the way he did tonight. Brian wanted to exert his dominance in the marriage, by doing that he took all choices away from Justin. Brian had been mad at him for lying and took it out on him. He didn’t want to have this kind of animosity with the father of his child. Just because he didn’t think he could ever have the kind of marriage that others wanted, didn’t mean he had to make Justin miserable.

“No tricks, just us.”

“I can’t believe we’re going to do this. I can’t believe you have your own plane. I can’t believe any of this.”

“I can’t believe you won’t shut up. Just go get dressed, don’t worry about luggage, we’ll get what we need there.”

“What about your job?”

“I’m the boss. Hurry up.”

While Justin dressed Brian went to talk to Debbie. He lightly knocked on her door. She answered wearing her nightgown.

“Brian? What are you doing knocking on my door this time at night?”

“I need you to take care of Ciaran for a week. I’ll pay if you need to hire a babysitter. Justin is having a hard time with everything, I’m taking him on vacation for a week.” She didn’t need to know about his past, or what he had done tonight. No one did.

“Sure, honey. I missed Ciaran like crazy when he was gone, so did Joan. We’ll take care of him. You just worry about Justin.” She kissed him on the cheek and went back into her room.

Going back into Justin’s room he waited for him to come out of his en suite. “Finally, I thought you changed your mind. Ready to go?”

“Yep, this is so cool. I just wished I didn’t look like Frankenstein.”

“Frankenstein’s monster, Frankenstein was the doctor.”

“I knew that.”

“Of course you did. Now let’s get out of here.”