I was wrong, at the end you're not alone. The person who loved you most sits beside you and helps make letting go easier. I look at him, he'll be forever young and beautiful. He never had a chance to age, his smile still lights up a room. I lay there and watch as he wanders around the room and looks at everyone. I hope he is happy to meet Sunny, Gus named his oldest daughter in honor of Justin. I wonder what he thinks of all of us.

 

I know I was angry at everyone after Justin was killed. I wanted to blame the world for taking him. I should have manned up and told him to stay with me. I was wrong, it wasn't only time. He smiles at Emmett and puts his hand on the man’s shoulder, I see Emmett smile for a second, that's good. I don’t want them to remember my last breath. I want them to see Justin and I dancing in Babylon, to remember that when we were in a room together, no one else mattered to us. We were the real explosion, not a bomb.

 

Michael is crying and I want to open my mouth and tell him to stop whining, Justin is here and I want him to see us happy. I can’t talk through the breathing tube. I hate that Gus is going to have to sign the papers to finally let me go. I took Michael off as my proxy because he would probably keep me alive just so he can come and talk me to death. He did it to Ben. Ben was in the final stages of the AIDS virus and his body was shutting down. Michael wanted to keep him on life support. I finally had to tell him that even if there was a cure for AIDs, it wouldn’t help multiorgan shut down. It was still over a week before Ben decided for him. I don’t want to hang on when I can finally have Justin back. I see him making faces at Sunny’s new son. The baby giggles and everyone looks and smiles. “Thank you, Justin,” I tell him. Justin nods and giggles when baby Brian reaches for his nose. Justin walks over and sits on the bed next to me, it’s time to go, is what he’s telling me. I want to hear him talk, listen to him breathe in bed next to me, but I gave that chance up, with a ticket on the wrong plane to New York.

 

If I could go back, I’d tell Lindsay to kiss my ass when she told me about the review. If I had just stopped trying to let Justin go, I would have gotten to see him age. Eventually been able to marry him, let him have a kid if he wanted one, and lived in the house that I locked up the day the plane crashed. Justin leans down and puts his forehead against mine. I look into the eyes I dream about every night and tell him I want to be where he is, so we can finish what we never got to start.

 

I hear Michael screaming for the doctors to do something. Michael climbs in the bed and starts kissing my face and begging me to stay. I want him to get the fuck away from me, he told me to let Justin go and be Brian Kinney, always young, always beautiful. I wanted to be Justin’s Brian, the flawed man, the man Justin loved no matter what I did. Justin, who didn’t act like I was perfect. He faced the world and told them and me to accept him or walk away. He didn’t ever really need me, he wanted me. I didn’t have to hold him up, I didn’t owe him for loving me. I turn to look at Gus one last time. He smiles and leans down, “Da, I love you. Go find Justin and be happy.” Gus tells me. Michael tells Gus to stop saying good-bye. I wrap my fingers around Gus’s and take his advice.

 

I can barely see anymore, but when he walks back to me, it's like the clouds lift and everything is illuminated. I am standing next to him and grab his hand. I want to hold him and feel the man who was the only person I ever really loved. He was the other half of my soul.

 

Justin smiled at me, “You get a choice. We leave and go join the party in another plane or you can try to do it all again.” He tells me.

 

“Do what all over again?” I ask him.

 

“Your life, you can go back to before we meet and we do it again and hopefully get it right.” Justin tells me.

 

“What did you do?” I ask him

 

“I waited for you.” He tells me.

 

“Is it going to be the same?” I ask him.

 

“I don’t know. If you choose to go back, I’ll be there but I won’t remember you or anything that is going to happen.” Justin tells me.

 

“Am I going to remember?” I ask him.

 

“Yes, but it’s going to be up to you what direction you go in, if you stop and pick me up or if you pass me by.” Justin tells me.

 

“Why aren’t you going to remember?” I ask him.

 

“I waited too long to make a choice, so you get to make our lives the way you want. If you want to go through the bashing, Ethan, Hollywood, or anything, we go through it.” Justin tells me.

 

“What if I want to start our life together the night we meet.” I ask him.

 

“Than we do, but remember, one change changes other things. Vic told me that you’ll be sent back to about a month before I walk on Liberty Avenue, if you decide to go back.” Justin tells me.

 

“You’ve seen Vic?” I ask him.

 

“Yeah, I told him the senior citizens Babylon was just wrong.” Justin laughs.

 

“If I stay, are we together?” I ask him.

 

“We are until one of us gets sent back.” Justin tells me.

 

“Sent back, why can’t you go now.” I want us to go together.

 

“We wouldn’t be this Brian and Justin anymore. Our souls are destined to find each other always, but we could be a man and woman, or two women or two men. There are no guarantees.” Justin tells me.

 

“I want the guarantees. I want us.” I tell him.

 

“Then go back to twenty-nine and find me.” Justin tells me.

 

I look and see a dance floor and we are both in tuxedos. “Just promise me to come to my prom, no matter what happens, I want to dance this dance again.” Justin tells me.

 

We start dancing and the moves are fluid, I spin him and kiss his lips.”I love you.” I told him.

 

“I always knew, no matter what was happening, I always knew. I love you too.” Justin tells me.

 

I start to feel him pull away and I tell him, “We are going to get our story, and it’s going to be glorious.”

BRIAN

 

I woke up in bed and thought ‘no more drugs from Anita’. I look to see Mikey, laying on Justin’s side of the bed and want to kick his ass. I shove him to wake him up.

 

“Mikey get off the bed, only Justin sleeps there.” I tell him.

 

“Fuck Brian, you need to lay off the E, who the fuck is Justin?” He whines.

 

“Justin, you know, my partner.” I tell him.

 

“Very funny, Mr Commitmentphobe.” Mikey tells me.

 

“I am very capable of commitment. Justin and I have been together for years.” I tell him.

 

“Brian is this you afraid of getting older again? Who the fuck is Justin?” Mikey asks again.

 

I lay back down and remember Justin telling me that I would go back to a month before we meet. I look at Mikey and he is giving me the moon eyed look, damn I have to deal with this again. I think this time I’ll encourage Mikey to find a boyfriend, I don’t want to waste time trying to keep us children.

 

“Lindsay doesn’t have an appointment today does she?” I ask him.

 

“No, it was yesterday. Remember you and I went out and got wasted when you saw the baby in the ultrasound.” Mikey tells me.

 

“Yeah, sorry, Anita had some strong shit last night. I guess I better get to work.” I tell him.

 

“Brian it’s Saturday, no work. Take me to breakfast.” Mikey begs me.

 

“I have to go do something, want to meet for lunch later?” I ask him.

 

“I guess so, why can’t we just hang out together. I’m off from Big Q, until tomorrow night.” Mikey whines.

 

“I told Ryder I’d check the boards for my meeting Monday.” I tell him.

 

“Why bother, you’ll just fuck the breeder and get the account.” He tells me.

 

I finally shove Mikey out the door. I have a visit to make, I want to see him. I get dressed and run down to my Jeep. I drove to his neighborhood and pass the house. I park down the street and wait to see if he comes out. I have all day to see the boy, who will become my soul.

 

“Yes Mom, I’ll be back for lunch.” Justin yells.

 

I watch him walk out the door and walk to the street. I sat in my Jeep and look at him, my God he was young. Justin looks at my Jeep and smiles, I want to walk up to him and tell him we can change his life today. I was going to do it, but Daphne pulls up and Justin hops in and leaves. I start my Jeep and follow them until they get to Daphne’s house. I didn’t want them to think I was following them so I headed to the diner. This month is going to be longer than ever.

 

I walk in and there’s Deb, “Morning, Michael is going to pissed, he said you were meeting for lunch.” She tells me.

 

“No, I thought I would just hang out with a red hot mama.” I tell her.

 

“Brian, don’t offer Deb dick, she hasn’t seen one in forever and you might be biting off more than you can chew.” Vic jokes.

 

I want to hug them both, Vic because he’s been gone so long. Deb because we lost her and Carl in a car accident. I look to see Lindsay coming in with Smelly Melly. I have to remember Justin didn’t die in a plane crash, so me being pissed at Lindsay isn’t going make any sense to her.

 

“Brian, have lunch with us. Our baby is really kicking.” Lindsey tell me.

 

“You mean OUR baby, right Lindsey.” Mel tells her.

 

“You know what I mean Mel.” Lindsey tells her.

 

“I’d love to, but I would lose my appetite if Mel and I have to duel dicks for the honor of calling my progeny our child.” I just don’t want to spend time with them. Once Gus is born it will be different.

 

Ted and Emmett walk in and I walk over and hug Ted and kiss Emmett. It’ll keep them guessing.

 

“Hey, tell Mikey I had a date and couldn’t make it.” I tell Ted.

 

“Sure, blond or brunet?” Ted snarks.

 

“Blond, definitely blond.” I tell him.

BRIAN

 

It’s amazing how small the world becomes when you know things. I knew that I didn’t have to fuck the client because he told me last time they were going with us either way. He just wanted to relieve some stress. I also know Gus is a boy and will become more successful at advertising than me. I know that eventually Mel and I will be friends, when we stop letting Lindsey egg us on. I know what time Justin gets to school everyday. I’ve been stalking Justin a little everyday. I make it a point to drive by his school when he arrives in the morning. I just need to see him. He is usually running in the door so I get a glimpse, to help me get through the rest of this month.

 

Instead of spending money on clothes and crap, I’ve been having Ted help me invest. I want to be able to open shop sooner, working for someone else isn’t easy when you’ve been your own boss. Because I have been working like a madman, I no longer have time to cater to my ‘best friend’s’ whims. Michael is becoming a pain in my ass. I realize, the first time I let Michael get away with being up my ass, but I have things to do. Michael seems to act like we can’t have lives outside of each other. Part of the problem is that I don’t go out every night anymore. I want to save my liver. The other part is that I’m trying to quit smoking, once on a respirator was enough to know I’m not invincible. Without the nicotine, I have less patience for annoying people, and needy Michael is annoying. 

 

Michael has been calling ten times a day, because “you're my best friend and you're not spending time with me.” I kid you not, ten. I tried to tell him Deb would probably love to hear from him this many times in a day but that his best friend was working. When that didn’t work I asked if maybe Michael should hang up the phone and wait on the customers, his boss might be more impressed with a sales increase, than with Mikey having separation anxiety. Mikey’s response, “Brian can’t you be serious, all I wanted to do was talk to my best friend, who is always too busy for me lately.”  I’m still trying to figure out how he never got fired for spending all his time on the phone at work. I had to relent and promise to pick him up from work so we could eat together today. I almost want to go back and smack myself for allowing Michael this much latitude the first time. 

 

I also need to get the key to the loft out of his hand. With me not around, Michael uses it to wait at the loft until I come home. He was actually criticizing me for not having a trick or two with me. That I wasn’t being Brian Fucking Kinney. You know, if I was in love with someone, I doubt I’d be sitting on the sidelines cheering them on, while having to watch them screw someone else. I also wouldn’t sit around outside waiting for that person, so I could drive his drunk ass home. It makes me a shitty friend, but he was the one putting up with it.

 

I promised myself, not to fall into the trap of my reputation. I still want to trick, but only because it was fun, especially with Justin. Justin won’t be ready for a serious relationship for the first couple years, and I want us to relive some of the fun nights. Even if he doesn’t remember them. 

 

Tonight is another Woody’s and Babylon night, or in other words Michael, Emmett, and Ted hold up the bar, while living through me. The thing is, I remember the friendships after we started to accept aging. Ted became the person I talked too, Michael was to wrapped up in supporting every cause under the sun. Emmett was my comfort, after Justin was gone. Emmett didn’t come over and tell me anything, we just sat around and talked about anything all night. Ted kept me from running Kinnetik and Babylon into the ground. Michael wanted me to stop grieving Justin and try dating again, he even tried to introduce me to people. I know he thought he was helping but you don’t love the way Justin and I did, twice in a lifetime. I refuse to hurt someone by never being able to give them more, and to me it was cheating on Justin.

 

Michael called again and told me to pick him up at the store. I asked why I needed to pick him up hours before we went out.  Michael wanted to hang out with just me, before we joined the guys.

“Brian, I want to see my best friend, is that a crime.” Michael tells me.

 

“What did you want to do for the next six hours?” I know I was sarcastic.

 

“What is with you lately? Normally you want to hang out.” Michael asks me.

 

“I just have a lot to do.” I tell him. I almost turned to go to Justin’s school.

 

I wanted to go by Justin’s school and watch him leave but even I know the school frowns upon grown men stalking the students. I also hated having to watch him get in the car with the fucker Craig. 

 

“Brian, just fucking pick me up.” Michael tells me.

 

“On my way, meet me out front.” I tell him. Michael always wants me to come in and introduces me to people he works with. It reminds me of Gus wanting everyone to meet his Dad.

 

“I have to get my stuff, so just come in.” Michael hangs up before I can say anything else. I hate the Big Q.

 

I park and sit there waiting and waiting. I finally just get out and walk into my version of hell. Michael is smiling at me and waving for me to come over. I rolled my eyes but proceeded to Michael and his group of cashiers.  I really need to work on Michael’s idea of important people. I hear Marley telling a teen she should just ask the boy out.

 

“Just go over there, he can’t answer you from over here.” Marley tells her. Michael and Marley smirk at the girl. Michael can be an ass.

 

“He’s with that girl again.” She tells them. I just want to yell at the boy, to put this girl out of her misery.

 

“I’m pretty sure they're just friends. They aren’t holding hands or anything.” Michael tells the teen, encouraging her.

 

“Just go, you’ll never get a boyfriend if you stand here. That’s how I landed my man.” Marley tells her. I want to tell her to look at what Marley landed.

 

The girl finally gets the courage to walk towards the boy who makes her heart go pitter patter. I watch and want to tell her dragging her feet and looking at the ground isn’t going to make a good impression. I look to see who the unlucky victim is, and, not going to happen, unless Justin suddenly developed a taste for pussy. I watch the train wreck, and want to die of laughter when the girl runs over to Justin and tells him the batteries on aisle five are on sale and runs back. He and Daphne look at each other, I think they’re trying to figure out why they were just offered batteries. 

 

“Maybe you're good looking friend Brian could teach her how to hit on someone.” I think that was supposed to be flirting on Marley’s part.

 

“Brian doesn’t have to hit on people, they all hit on him.” Michael says proudly. I wonder how proudly he would say it if I told Marley, guys want me to hit on their asses.

 

“Yeah all I have to do is smile and they bend over...backwards for a date.” I tell them. I added the last part because Michael looked like he was about to have a coronary.

 

“Excuse me for a moment, I see a pen I just have to have.” I tell them and head towards Justin.

 

This is the closest I’ve gotten to him. I walk by and accidently nudge his shoulder. Justin turns to say something but instead just stares at me. Yep, I have what you want. 

 

“Sorry, I wanted to look at the pen behind you.” I tell him. I crowd him to reach for the Bic.

 

“It’s, um fine. I could get out of your way.” Justin tells me.

 

“I like you where you are.” I tell him.

 

“Um, well, great, I got to go.” Justin blushes but I see the smile I love.

 

“Justin, you ready? My mom wants me to get the car home.” Daphne, my woman, tells Justin.

 

“Need a lift?” I offer. I see him transform into the confident man I remember.

 

“No, but only because your boyfriend seems to be upset.” Justin tells me.

 

“No boyfriend, unless you want to apply.” I tell him.

 

Justin smiles and looks me up and down. He slides by me making sure to rub his ass against my hard on. I don’t think I can make it a month, I need to drag his ass to the bathroom.

 

“Later, hopefully.” Justin whispers and turns around to follow Daphne.

 

Oh oh, Mikey isn’t happy. I see him staring at me, and twitching his head towards his co-workers. He can get over it, just because he’s hiding, doesn’t mean I want to join him in his closet. I smirk at Marley, “Tell her that’s how you do it. If she wants a date.”

 

“Brian, you didn’t have to go all pansy. That poor boy must be mortified.” Marley giggles.

 

Mikey tells me we need to go. I wait for him to go get his stuff, that I had to come inside because of. Instead Mikey walks out the front. Guess it was show off Brian day. I follow him out the door and watch Daphne and Justin getting in her car. Justin turns and waves before getting in, I raise an eyebrow. Daphne takes off out of the parking lot. 

 

“Brian, I can’t believe you did that in front of everyone. You know I don’t want people to think I’m gay.” Mikey rants at me.

 

“You know that I don’t give a flying fuck what anybody thinks.” I tell him.

 

“Well, I don’t have a job where it’s great because you win the account by fucking the client.” Michael snarks at me. 

 

I know I help Michael to believe that the only way I get an account is by fucking my way to it, but that would only work once in a blue moon. Everyone isn’t gay or even willing, I actually work to win. I’ll never convince Mikey that everyone doesn’t want me.

 

“Yeah, since the only way for me to get a head in the world is to get head.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, I didn’t mean it the way it sounds. I just don’t want to screw up my chances at a promotion. Plus that kid was too young for us.” Mikey tells me. Us? Maybe Mikey needs to stop tripping on acid.

 

“What does his age have to do with us?” I really want to know.

 

“And since when did you go for blond guys? And he’s not even built.” Mikey just ignores my question.

 

“He’s fucking hot Mikey.” I tell him.

 

“You always liked dark hair.” Mikey tells me like he needs to convince me. I notice he’s touching his hair.

 

“Variety Mikey, you should try it. Maybe if you got laid more often, you wouldn’t worry what Fat Marley the cashier thinks.” I tell him.

 

“You think I should dye my hair?” Michael asks me. 

 

I wanted to say it wouldn’t matter if he dyed his hair, learned how to dress, had table manners, or called himself Justin, it wouldn’t change how I feel. Instead of hurting him, I tell him, “Mikey, you have the boy next door look, work with it.”

 

Mikey leans over to kiss me, I couldn’t help it, I moved so he ended up kissing the seat.

 

BRIAN

 

It’s a wonder that I didn’t kill myself being friends with Lindsay and Michael. After the adventure of eating with Michael for two hours and listening to him complain about my performance at the store, I tried to make an excuse to meet later. Instead, Lindsay comes waddling in and tells us we have to go shopping with her. Michael latched on to a reason to hang out together like it was the next issue of Captain Astro. I tried to just offer to pay for the things she just ‘had to have’ but no, even though it wasn’t my idea to have a kid, I needed to be involved. I wanted to ask why Mel got out of the shopping expeditions from hell.

 

Michael of course used this to tell Lindsay about me almost outing him to the store.

 

“Can you believe Brian was practically fucking the kid, in front of all my co-workers?” Michael asks Lindsay.

 

“Michael, it’s the Big Q. Quit if it’s a problem.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, Michael isn’t really qualified for a lot of jobs.” Lindsay tell us. She smiles to soften the blow, but was she always this big of a bitch?

 

“I just want a chance to work in management and they aren’t going to want to give it to me if they find out.” Michael tells us. I wonder if he thought Lindsay was complimenting him.

 

“Brian, for Michael, think with your big head, when you're at the Big Q.” Lindsay tells me.

 

“I still don’t get was so special about the kid.” Michael tells us.

 

“Brian, you need to be careful. I don’t want our baby visiting you in prison.” Lindsay tells me.

 

“I’m sure Mel will bring Gus everyday, so she can point and laugh at me.” I tell her.

 

“How did you know I wanted to name the baby Gus?” Lindsay asks me. Think Kinney, how do I get out of this?

 

“You told me.” I tell her.

 

“Well it’s still between Gus and Abraham.” She tells me.

 

I really wanted to tell her Abraham wouldn’t last a day in school, but I’ll let Justin do the honors. 

 

“You know what else, Brian isn’t going out all the time.” Mikey tells us. That’s Mikey, if he doesn’t want to discuss it, he doesn’t hear it.

 

“I still go out, I just want to get the bonus Ryder is offering for the Ad Exec who lands the most accounts this quarter. I can’t do that if I’m hung over every morning.” I tell him. 

 

“But you can call Ted all the time and even Emmett told me you’ve been going to the gym with him, instead of me.” Mikey complains.

 

“Michael your schedule is erratic. I needed to work out, Emmett was able to go.” Am I really having this conversation with an adult?

 

“Brian, you should spare some time for Michael now, when the baby’s born you're going have to add that to your daily schedule.” Lindsay tells me. Huh, why would I need to add it to my DAILY schedule?

 

“See Brian, you need to make more time for me.” Mikey whines.

 

I tell the two life planners I need a drink or ten, and if they want a ride they better get their ass to the car. I start walking towards the exit. Lindsay is complaining that I need to slow down and Michael tells her we have plans and is running ahead of me. I see Jen looking at shirts in a store, look to see which one she’s in. Great, the Gap, I never did get him out of cargo’s. I turn and tell them I’ll be back. 

 

I walk by Jen and see Molly picking out shirts and showing Jen. Jen shakes her head yes or no. Jen is looking at boys shirts, I know she hated when Justin wore shirts that were tight. I wanted to tell her she was never going to win against her stubborn son. I grabbed a shirt, I remember Justin wearing that first night.

 

“Here, your kid will need a warm shirt, with winter coming.” I tell a bewildered Jen. I hate flannel but in the case of that shirt, I love why I saw it.

 

Michael comes in and tells me we were suppose to be going. I had to do one last thing.

 

“I wanted to tell you, you're a great mother. You're more than your marriage.” I whisper to Jen. She smiles but gives me a puzzled look. I just wanted to tell her that, because if the last time is any indication, Jen needed to hear that before Justin and I turn her world upside down.

 

“Brian, did you just willingly go into the Gap?” Lindsay asks me.

 

“Brian is doing all kind of strange things lately.” Mikey tells her.

 

I manage to get Lindsay to go home, and told Mikey I wanted to change before we went out. I was hoping he would go home, but no, he needed to hang out at the loft. I don’t know why I looked when I was changing, but I see Mikey staring at me getting undressed, he’s looking through the slats. It reminds me of the show about how stalkers start, they play peeping tom. I also need to remember this was when Mikey still thought I wasn’t ready to settle down, so he was my dutiful sidekick. I change and tell him to call Emmett and Ted and tell them to meet us. We walk in to Woody’s and I grab a beer and start looking around, so Mikey won’t complain that I’m not acting like Brian. Mysterious Marilyn smiles at me. I almost wanted to bolt.

 

“Brian Kinney, interesting aura you have around you.” She tells me.

 

“It’s called Armani.” I tell her.

 

“Just be careful, too much change and you won’t get it right this time.” She tells me.

 

Justin said that, something about getting it right this time. “What happens if I get it wrong?” I ask her. 

 

“He could still get on that plane.” She tells me and walks away before I can say anything.

 

“Brian, why are you listening to her.” Mikey tells me. I chase Marilyn, she doesn’t get to walk away from this conversation.

 

“Tell me what that means. Don’t fucking go all Mysterious on me.” I tell her.

 

“Justin told you he wouldn’t remember, but he will remember when your choices are the right ones. You get to have all of him back.” She tells me. I let her go.

 

“Why did you tell me?” I ask her. She never tells you everything.

 

“I liked him, he isn’t like your love sick puppy over there, I also love the man you were with him.” She pats my cheek and walks away. I let her go.

 

I want Justin to remember us, but how do I know if my choices are right? 

 

“You’ll see it in his eyes.” Marilyn whispers in my ear. Damn it how did she get there?

 

“BRIAN, get over here, stop listening to her.” Michael yells. I turn and kiss Marilyn full on the mouth.

 

“Always a pleasure Brian.” She smiles.

 

“Brian are you trying to win all of us queens over?” Emmett teases me.

 

I couldn’t help it, I hauled Emmett into a bear hug and kissed him too. I get to have Justin, the one who would remember me, back. It’s hard not to scream ‘I love you’ at him, without sounding deranged. 

“Emmett, you know we should go to an Ironman’s game.” I tell him. Drew and Emmett deserve to be together again. Maybe if they meet sooner they can get through the shit together faster.

 

“Emmett doesn’t like football.” Mikey tells me.

 

“You like men in tights, right Emmett.” I say to Emmett.

 

“Baby, I like buns of steel.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Who doesn’t like buns of steel.” Ted adds dryly.

 

“Brian used to like men, but lately he’s been too busy, even for me, his…” Mikey gets interrupted by the bar.

 

“BEST FRIEND.” Everyone yells. Emmett sputters a laugh. Ted walks over to console Mikey.

 

I forgot about Ted and his secret love of Mikey. Let’s hope it doesn’t take a party to trash the loft to get Ted over his misguided love. I still remember Mikey, talking about how he felt bad that Ted wanted something from Mikey, that Mikey couldn’t return. Mikey was convinced that Ted should stop wasting his time trying for something that was never going to happen. Even I saw the irony in that statement.

 

“Crap, Ma, can’t you hang out somewhere else.” Mikey yells at his mother on the other side of the bar. 

 

“Michael, sit down and shut up, Vic wanted to go out, it’s not like I’m here to cockblock you.” Deb yells back. 

 

“I would just like to be able to have fun with my friends without my MOTHER embarrassing me.” Mikey tells her. I wanted to ask if screaming across a crowded bar was embarrassing.

 

“Like me having a beer is embarrassing you. The boys don’t mind that I’m here, right boys?” Deb asks us.

 

We all tell her we don’t mind, anything to keep her here. She loves to tell Mikey stories. It’s why Mikey is always a dick to her when she wants to hang out. I go sit next to Deb, and kiss her on the cheek. 

 

“See Michael, your best friend wants me here.” Deb yells out. 

 

“Deb, you want to play a drinking game with us.” A guy at another table asks.

 

“Sure sweetie, how do you play?” She asks him.

 

“Every time Michael says ‘Brian’ you have to drink your beer. If he says ‘best friend’ you take a shot.” He tells her.

 

“You guys plan on getting smashed tonight.” Deb tells them.

 

“Brian, are you going to come and join us.” Mikey yells. Deb and the guys take a drink of beer.

 

“I think I’ll hang out with your mother.” I know, but Deb drunk is fun.

 

“So you would rather hang out with Ma than your best friend?” Mikey says, just like I planned. I watched them all take the shot. 

 

After seven more sips of beer and five shots, I was helping Vic get a very drunk Deb home. Mikey wanted to know why she drank so much. I told the guys I’d meet them at Babylon, after I got Deb home. I help Vic carry Deb to bed.

 

 

BRIAN 

 

Instead of running back to Babylon, I stayed with Vic. I needed to talk to someone, someone who would listen. Ted and Emmett weren’t ready for that yet. I was wandering around looking at all the crap Deb buys from QVC. Vic walked past me into the kitchen.  

 

“Not running off to join the guys?” Vic asks me

 

“Maybe in a little while. I wanted to talk.” I tell him. 

 

“Pull up a chair, guess Michael was right, normally you're running out looking for your next trick.” Vic tells me. My phone starts ringing, I just silence it.

 

I sit at the table, and wait while Vic gets a drink. Vic was my father growing up, and right now I need that. Vic will at least listen, no matter how crazy it sounds.

 

“You're thinking awful hard, just say it.” Vic tells me. 

 

“If you had a chance to go back and change your future, would you do it?” I ask him. 

 

“Hard to change something, if you don't know what is going to happen.” Vic tells me.

 

“What if you did?” I ask him. 

 

“What if you change everything?” He asks me. 

 

“What if you know that someone is supposed to be the person you spend your life with. But the first time around, you spent screwing up constantly.” I tell him. 

 

“Before I answer that, please tell me we aren’t talking about Michael.” Vic tells me.

 

“NO, no, that was never going to happen.” I tell him. I shuddered a little, I just don’t do incest.

 

“Good, because no matter what Deb and Michael want to believe, it would have been a disaster.” Vic tells me.

 

“You're probably the only person who thinks that.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, you need someone who can stand up to you. Michael needs someone to do the standing for him. He needs someone who has the patience to deal with him, when he acts like a child throwing a tantrum. Michael as your friend, you can distance yourself when it becomes overbearing, but a lover expects more. The problem is, that you and Deb have spent your whole lives taking care of Michael. Deb will always do it, she’s his mother. I love my sister and nephew but them making it your job to protect Michael all the time gave them both the idea that you were the one causing Michael’s inability to grow up. My advice is let him make his own mistakes and be his friend, not the person to blame. Maybe we’ll see Michael willing to stretch his wings.” Vic tells me.

 

“It’s something I’ve been trying to do, but just like right now, Mikey is calling constantly.” I pick up my phone and turn it off.

 

“Is he calling three times a day.” Vic jokes.

 

“No, try ten. How does he keep his job?” I ask Vic.

 

“He hides down the aisles. Now, what were we talking about? Screwing up with the person you want to make a life with?” Vic asks me.

 

“I guess I wonder if I met the person sooner, did I change something?” I ask him.

 

“It would have to, I would think.” He tells me. 

 

“Because we already met, right?” I  ask him. 

 

“Guess it would also depend on how you interacted the first time.” Vic tells me. At my puzzled look, Vic explains, “Going with the fantasy that you know that you’ll meet the person, by meeting sooner you already know them. With that in mind when you see them again, you're more likely to say ‘good seeing you again’ not ‘Had a busy night? It’s simplistic, but yes you already changed something.” Vic tells me. I stared into Vic’s eyes, why would he say that? I didn’t see anything that indicated that he used the phrase as anything other than an example.

 

“What if he isn’t where he’s supposed to be?” I ask him.

 

“Brian, are you okay. We are talking hypothetically, right?” He asks me.

 

“Yeah, guess I better get going before the gang starts sending out missing flyers.” I hug Vic and walk to the door.

 

“Brian, the answer to the screwing up is easy, don’t do whatever it was that hurt the relationship the first time.” Vic tells me.

 

“The problem with that is most of it was fun at the time.” I joke. Vic gives me a strange look, time to go.

 

I got in my Jeep and turned on my phone. Michael must have been busy calling me for the last couple hours. They can hang on to the bar, I don’t really want to go tonight. I head to the loft, maybe I can watch a movie. Jesus, I’m turning into a old man.

 

I walk in and there is my best friend, glaring at me. “Where the hell have you been all night? We waited for you and you left us hanging.” Mikey pouts.

 

“I was helping Vic with your mother, then Vic and I were talking. I lost track of time.” I tell him. Ever wanted to yell for someone to get a life?

 

“You couldn’t pick up the fucking phone and tell me that.” Michael needs to rein in the jealous housewife routine.

 

“Well you see, I was talking and some idiot couldn’t try to have fun, no he had to keep calling. Instead of calling constantly, go out and meet someone Mikey.” I just don’t have the patience to pat baby Mikey on the head tonight.

 

“Emmett and Ted are waiting at the diner, so let’s go.” Mikey orders me. Yeah, not a lap dog Mikey.

 

“Have fun, I’m going to bed.” I tell him.

 

“No you're not, you're coming to the diner and spending time with your friends.” Mikey tells me. 

 

“Actually, yes I am going to bed. Unlike you, I need to be awake at work tomorrow.” I tell him. 

 

“So you're going to bail on me again. I can’t believe you, it’s like you're trying to piss me off lately.” He tells me.

 

“No, I just have other things to do, go hang out with the guys. I’ll meet you for breakfast.” I tell him.

 

“Fine, come pick me up so I know you're going to show up.” Mikey tells me. 

 

“Later, Mikey.” I want to shove him out the door, why is he so fucking clingy lately?

 

MICHAEL

 

I swear I could kill Brian right now. He told me he was going to be here this morning. Emmett tried to convince me to go with him and Ted, I told him “No, Brian is coming to get me.” 

 

“Michael, he called and asked Ted to pick you up, he said he’d try to meet us. Why make him go out of his way to pick you up, when Ted is already here.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Just go and we’ll meet you.” I tell Emmett. 

 

That was an hour ago, I tried calling when he was already ten minutes late. I keep getting sent to voicemail. Brian has a lot of explaining to do. I run to catch the bus, I can’t believe he didn’t show again. Brian better be ready to explain what was so important that he forgot about me.

 

BRIAN

 

I got up and made my daily stalking drive. Justin was standing at the bottom of the stairs, talking to Daphne. I watched as he kisses her cheek and runs into the building. I sat and debated whether my ears were going to withstand Mikey’s whine, for not picking him up. I didn’t say I would, maybe next time he’ll stop acting like he can tell me what to do. I decide that I would rather not deal with the Novotny duo this morning. I’ll probably get an earful tonight at the diner with the gang. 

 

I start my Jeep and head to work. I turn my phone back on and check to see if anyone other than Michael called. Guess Michael complained to Deb, she’s competing with her son for most calls. I don’t even bother to get the voicemails, they will all be the assessment that I’m an asshole anyway.

 

Cynthia is standing at my desk with a couple dozen message slips in her hand. “Brian, do me a favor and call your ‘Best Friend’, I have things like drinking coffee I could be doing.” She tells me.

 

“I’ll give you a raise if you tell him and Deb I can’t be reached.” I tell her.

 

“Keep the raise, I’d rather not have to explain a hundred times to Mikey, that ‘can’t be reached’ means him too.” Cynthia tells me. 

 

“I’ll handle it. Anything else?” I ask her. The phone starts ringing, Cynthia answers and hands it to me. She walks away shaking her head.

 

“Brian Kinney.” I say.

 

“Asshole, I got written up because I ended up late to work. Where were you this morning?” Mikey rants into the phone.

 

“I called Ted and told him to give you and Emmett a ride.” I didn’t leave him in the lurch.

 

“I asked you to pick me up, then you don’t even bother to call me.” Mikey tells me.

 

“You would have just spent the entire time bitching. I truthfully didn’t want to hear it.” I tell him.

 

“What the fuck is going on Brian? We are supposed to be friends, lately it’s like I don’t even know you anymore. You're almost never around and when you are, you never want to spend time together.” Mikey complains. I hear someone asking Mikey if he took care of the display. Mikey tells them he’s on the phone helping a customer. The person tells Mikey to give him the phone and go take care of the display that should already be finished. Mikey tries to get the phone back, guess he doesn’t want to explain why he’s on the phone goofing off, when he was already in trouble this morning.

 

“Hello, this is Andrew, how can I assist you?” What to do, humm.

 

“I was trying to find out if you have KY, in different flavors. I like to taste something other than the guy I’m rimming.” I tell the homophobic ass.

 

“Well sir, we um...Let me transfer you.” He seemed like he didn’t want to look. I hang up.

MICHAEL 

 

Andrew is watching everything I do today. Just because I was an hour late the boss put Andrew in charge. I tried to tell him it was an emergency, but he told me he expects me to be here on time and ready to work. He told me that getting coffee and standing around gossiping after already being late wasn’t helping my situation. He told me to get the sale endcap done fast. Like the blue hairs are clamoring to get fifty cent bleach at nine in the morning. I start settings the shelves, hoping Andrew will find someone else to micromanage. It seems like everytime I try to put a fucking bottle on the shelf, someone needs it. Can't they wait five minutes? I was getting frustrated with the constant interruptions, and started slamming bleach on the shelf. Maybe these people could go to aisle seven, and get one from the shelf that was already stocked. 

 

“Mike, you need to be careful with the merchandise, you break it, you buy it. Could you quit slamming it on the shelf, you’ll have customers thinking you don’t want their business when you slam it down like that.” I hate this fucker, doesn't he understand, I'm having a bad day. 

 

“You want it done or do we need to stand here with you lecturing me?” I pointedly ask him.

 

“Don’t blame me because the boss put me in charge today. Being responsible means being on time. It also means getting work done, not talking on the phone. I know that was your friend on the phone, not a customer.” He needs to stop thinking he's so important, wait till I get put in charge, then I'll lecture his ass all day. He acts like he doesn’t talk to his wife on the phone all day.

 

I made a point of snatching the bottle of bleach out of the box and turned to slam it on the shelf. Fuck, who doesn’t tighten the cap, I'm covered in bleach. Now I have to get a new set of clothes. 

 

“I have to go home and change, make sure you tell the boss my clothes were ruined because of a display you could have gotten up earlier, if you didn’t stand around all morning.” I tell him. 

 

“I'll let him know you were too busy being late and taking calls to get your job done correctly.” Andrew tells me. 

 

Like it's my fault someone didn’t check the caps before putting it in the box. He better have it done before I get back. I ran to catch the bus, the driver told me not to ruin his seats. What is it ‘treat Michael like crap day’. It’s all Brian’s fault, if he just did what he was suppose to do, I would have been on time, and most likely the person in charge. I got off at my stop and wanted to tell everyone covering their noses, it’s fucking bleach, stop acting like I smell like piss, but I needed to get back to work. 

 

I decided to shower, the smell was kind of overpowering. Since Brian made me late, I stopped and made a sandwich, they could wait for me to get back. I wanted to call Brian and tell him he owed me a ride back to work. None of this would have happened if he had showed up. I finally get back to work, and see Andrew didn't bother to set up the rest of the display, lazy asshole. Well they'll have to understand if it takes me all day.

 

“Mike, psst, Mike.” Marley whispers to me.

 

“What? I'm trying to get this done.” She could have fucking done it, instead of trying to gossip all day. 

 

“I just wanted to tell you, Tracy was asking about you.” Marley tells me. 

 

“Well, I need to get this done, before dick head gets on my case again.” I don't want to talk about Tracy. 

 

“Yeah, I was in the room by the office and Andrew was telling the boss, you're giving him a hard time.” She tells me. 

 

“He’s the one standing around, doing absolutely nothing. Maybe our boss should be writing him up.” I tell her.

 

“I'm going on break, wanna come?” She asks me. 

 

I put down the bottle and follow her outside. Marley wants to talk about Tracy. Instead, I ask about what she heard. 

 

“The boss said he would talk to you, but they saw me and stopped talking.” She tells me. 

 

“Great, now the boss is going to think I've been screwing around all day.” Can my day get any worse?

 

Andrew was waiting at the door for us, he told me I needed to finish in the next fifteen minutes, I get to run a register, because someone is running late. Can't he find someone else to do that job, I'm an assistant manager, not a cashier. I see the boss watching and decide I don't need to piss him off, since Andrew told on me already. I finished putting the bleach on the shelf, another one spilled. Well, Andrew can get someone to clean it, I have to run a register. He’s the boss today.

 

With each customer my mood just got worse, I wanted to yell “I quit.” I keep watching the time, who ever is late is going to hear it from me. I shouldn't have to make up for them not being here. 

 

“Hey Mikey, how about I give you a ride home?” Brian asked me. 

 

“Brian, what are you doing here?” I ask him. I knew he would make it up to me.

 

BRIAN 

 

I just happened to be driving by the school, okay I made a point to see if Justin was there. Daphne and Justin were driving out of the parking lot, might as well see where they were going.  I follow them to the Big Q, of all places. I guess I could act like I was seeing if Mikey needed a ride. I parked on the other side of the parking lot, I didn’t want them to think I was some crazy stalker. 

 

Instead of following them, I walk up to Mikey. Wonder why he got stuck on a register.

 

“Hey Mikey, how about I give you a ride home?” I ask him. I hope he has to work late.

 

“Brian, what are you doing here?” He asks me. He starts smiling, shit guess I really will have to give him a ride home.

 

I watch as Justin and Daphne are walking down in front of the registers. I’m hoping he'll look this way. Daphne sees me and hits Justin. He turns his head, sees me and smiles. I started in his direction, when I see him slip and fucking hit his head on a shelf of bleach. Anything but his head, this store better pray he isn’t hurt.

 

I run over to him and Daphne, Justin looks dazed.

 

“Brian, what's going on?” Justin asks me. I see the recognition in his eyes, just for a second. Then it's gone, fuck. Justin passes out.

 

 

JUSTIN 

 

Daphne told me the chances of running into the same hot guy at Big Q was extremely unlikely. I just wanted to see him again, he's probably the best looking man I've ever seen. I told her if nothing else, I kind of need the batteries now.

 

I see the guy from the yesterday, he looks pissed at the bag he’s shoving the woman's groceries in. I wanted to tell him it's not the bags fault. No wonder people hate Big Q, the employees are assholes. 

 

Daphne and I are walking past the registers, when she hits me. I turn to see the hot guy and smile. Then I feel myself slipping on something, that's all I remember then I woke back up surrounded by people.

 

“Justin, are you alright?” Asks my dream man.

 

“Yeah, did I hit my head on something, it hurts.” I'm so embarrassed.

 

“Someone spilled bleach, you slipped on it.” Daphne tells me. I see this big stain on my favorite cargos, damn it I should have kept my school uniform on.

 

“Sir, are you alright.” A guy, who name tag said Andrew, asks me.

 

“I think so.” I tell him. I start to stand and almost fall again, hot guy helps me up. “Be careful, I don’t want to get bleach on your suit.”

 

“Like I care about the suit, are you okay?” He asks me. He is really worried. I want to tell him he needs to give me mouth to mouth, but I doubt he'll fall for it.

 

The Andrew guy offers to get me new pants, but I can just wear these when I paint, so I tell him no. 

 

“How about you guys make sure to keep the fucking floor clean? He could have been hurt worse.” Wow, maybe we need to get hot guy a Prozac. It wasn’t that bad.

 

“It's fine, I should have been looking where I was going, something distracted me.” I grinned.

 

“Hope it was worth a knock on the head.” He grins back.

 

“Totally, worth it.” I'm flirting, but hello, hot guy.

 

“Justin, you ready to go?” Daphne asks me. No, but we need to.

 

“Yep, I promised to watch Molly for Mom. It was nice to see you again, um, sorry I never introduced myself, Justin Taylor.” I tell him. 

 

“Brian Kinney, I'm still looking to fill that position.” He smirks at me.

 

“I'll send you my resume.” I think I'm in love.

 

“Here take my card, call day or night. I'll be available.” Brian tells me. I see the other guy glaring at me, what's his problem. 

 

“Definitely, later.” I tell him. I ran the hand without bleach, down his arm as I start to walk off, he latches his pinky to mine. I stop and stare in his eyes, why does it feel like he is looking for something in my eyes. He finally let's go and damn it I have to go babysit. 

 

I walk by the pissed off guy. He grabs my arm and whispers to me. “He'll fuck you, but he won't keep you. Move on to someone younger, before I have to be the one telling you he doesn't want you.”

 

I look at him and make sure to rub the bleach on my hand all down the arm he grabbed me with and tell him, “Oops, I think I just ruined your shirt. Thanks for the warning, but maybe you should stop trying to keep him to yourself. He doesn’t seem interested in you.” I tell Mr Information. I turn back around and smile at my phone call for the night. 

 

BRIAN 

 

What is Mikey telling Justin? I was about to go over there, when I hear Marley tell Andrew she saw Mikey spill the bleach. Andrew wanted to know why he didn’t clean it up.

 

“He was pissed you made him run the register.” Marley is such a two faced bitch. Normally I would have called her on it, but fucking Mikey is the reason Justin almost got hurt. He can ride the fucking bus. I walk past him and he calls me.

 

“What MIKE?” I was angry.

 

“I thought you came to give me a lift home.” He tells me. 

 

“I would, but maybe you could clean the mess you left on the floor. Justin could have been hurt, or are you too busy being upset about having to work today.” I tell him. 

 

“The kid was fine, what bug crawled up you ass?” Michael asks me. 

 

“Maybe it's inconsiderate people, who only think of themselves. What does it matter that the kid slipped because Mikey didn’t want to do his job.” I have to get out of here before I kill him.

 

Is this some cosmic joke? Justin has to get hurt to remember me. I need to find Marilyn, because I'll be damned before I let fucking Hobbs try to kill him.  

 

Hope Michael enjoys the bus ride, he better not have warned Justin off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MARILYN

 

This is not how I wanted to spend my day. Brian is just trying to screw up, I'm convinced. I was sitting around checking up on all the people I monitor, when Justin went bright red. I hurried to Big Q. Justin and Brian have to meet on Liberty Avenue at the same time. As Dr Who would say, “It's a fixed point in their timeline”.  

 

Justin was coming out of Big Q smiling, I bump him and snatched the card. He didn't even know, thank the gods. Part of me wants to let Kinney stew, but the man is just unable to think beyond the upcoming first night. So I head to Woody's to wait.

 

BRIAN

 

Hopefully Marilyn will be easy to find, she needs to explain to me why Michael is suddenly acting crazy, and what is with Justin always getting hurt. I walk into Woody’s and she has a glass of Beam waiting for me.

 

“Do you think I want to have to chase down people all day?” She asks me.

 

“Do you think I want to have to ask you questions?” I ask her.

 

“I just saved your ass today, say thank you or I’m leaving.” She tells me.

 

“How did you save my ass today? Fine, Thank you. Now can you tell me?” I tell her.

 

“Justin is suppose to meet you at the street corner, not tonight so you can fuck till dawn.” She tells me. Okay, I’ll listen. “Good because, I didn’t want to have to ruin these pumps, to keep averting disaster.” She tells me.

 

“Do you even need me in this conversation?” She seems to be answering without me.

 

“I need you to listen. If Justin called you tonight, he would have shown up at your loft and you two would be fucking like rabbits. In the morning he would have been late for school and died in an accident. There are reasons why you two meet the way you do.” She tells me.

 

“You could have mentioned that before I tried to meet him.” I tell her. I mean seriously, this is important shit.

 

“I didn’t stop the first meeting because it was harmless. Justin was there the first time, it’s when he finally admitted to Daphne he was gay. Why do you think she drove him to Liberty Avenue? She wanted Justin to find out for himself.” She tells me.

 

“Why am I bothering if nothing is going to change? I don’t fucking care what happens, I won’t let Hobbs try to kill him.” I tell her.

 

“You know there is always information you think we should keep from them, but I’m going to have to explain it to him.” Who the hell is she talking to? “The man upstairs, I think it’s time you understand why certain things are going to happen. You also need to know Justin knew about it, and allowed it.” Marilyn tells me. 

 

“Justin wouldn’t have volunteered to be put in a coma, you're not going to convince me of that.” I tell her.

 

“Yes, he did. Brian I want to make this easier on you, because you're going to try to change a fixed point, you can’t, they have to happen. Justin was never just some kid you met, he’s the person you relive your life with, always. Normally you’re reborn and you two find each other. This time you are being given a chance to live the life you should have, if your friend Lindsay wasn’t trying to live through Justin. Justin was given the choice to be bashed or to have walked away that night. He choose to be bashed, to save Daphne.” She tells me.

 

“Daphne was with us, at the prom and then at the hospital.” I tell him.

 

“If Justin had gone back and taken her home, the boy she was dating before the prom would have shown up at her house and raped her Brian. She would never have become a doctor. If Chris hadn’t been in the garage to attack Justin, he would have driven home drunk and killed Mel and Lindsay. You would have been raising Gus, and broken up with Justin. It’s just how it works, we can’t change it.” She tells me.

 

“You're telling me that Justin knew all this?” I can’t fucking believe this.

 

“He was given the information before he was born, he choose to save all the people he would love, by his own sacrifice. Brian you didn’t just fall in love with Justin, you fell in love with someone who puts others ahead of himself. He saved your ass.” She tells me.

 

“I didn’t molest my nephew, he shouldn’t have had to save me from that shit.” I tell her.

 

“Since we aren’t going to be reliving the Kip incident this time, I’ll tell you, he didn’t drop the lawsuit because he saw the error of his ways. Justin blackmailed him into it.” she tells me.

 

“Justin didn’t even know the guy.” She isn’t going to get me to believe this.

 

“Justin was stalking you, of course he knew who the asshole was.” I see her point.

 

“I’m not going to allow him to be hurt, I can’t. I don’t care if Justin agreed to it.” I tell her.

 

“You don’t have to, Chris just needs to be in that garage. Daphne needs to stay with Justin. Justin doesn’t have to get injured. Brian, Justin didn’t tell you he could come back to you with his memories because he isn’t allowed to. I’m even risking the big guy taking my powers by tell you all this.” She tells me.

 

“Why are you telling me?” I ask her.

 

“Justin was never supposed to get on that plane, you two were supposed to go together, a year later, when he got his first show. That article was just supposed to get his name out there. Somehow, instead of Justin getting discovered at a small show in Chicago, Lindsay changed it. It’s the only mystery I haven’t been able to figure out. Just wait one more week and he is going to show up under the lamp post where he’s supposed to. By the way, here’s your card, don’t do that again. I actually had to run in these heels.” She tells me. Fuck, seven more days without sex.

 

“Brian, Justin liked the tricking. It was only when you left him by himself that he didn’t like it.” She tells me.

 

“So I wait and we get it right?” I ask her.

 

“No, but I’ll help as much as I can.” She tells me. 

 

“What about Michael, he wasn’t this bad. I know I wasn’t much better, but it’s like he’s lost his mind. Michael doesn’t seem to care about anything, including his job.” I tell her.

 

“Brian, one day we are going to talk about how you managed a friendship with someone like Michael, but not today. Michael needs to have someone to have an identity. He lives in his dream world, where he is popular in your group because you're his friend. Think about what you have done in the last month. You and he went from hanging out and being best friends, which you encouraged, to suddenly avoiding him and treating him like he doesn’t matter. We are talking about Michael Novotny, he can’t change gears like that, without a meltdown. I hate to give you this advice because that means we have to listen to the whiner, but let go slowly. David is going to be here soon and you’ll get a break.” She tells me.

 

“Fuck, guess I should show up for dinner tonight.” I was going to bail on it.

 

“If you want to, it’s not really that important. Personally, I’d tell you to go get laid or Justin might not be able to walk the next morning.” She tells me. Yeah, this celibacy really sucks. “For all of Gay PA too.” She smirks at me.

 

I get up to go to Deb’s house, for the carb fest. “Brian, just because you are going to make up with Michael, doesn’t mean taking Deb’s abuse.” Marilyn tells me.

 

On the way to Deb’s, I realize Marilyn is right. If Deb wants to play the blame game, I don’t have to let her use me. I get to the house and go in as usual.

 

“Brian, you need to apologize to Michael. I can’t believe you yelled at him.” Deb in full mother mode.

 

“Did your son tell you he left a spill on the floor and someone almost busted their head open.” I tell her. I’m not going to let Michael twist this shit to his advantage.

 

“He told me you were to busy trying to trick at the Big Q.” She defends Michael.

 

“I looked at a guy, then said guy, who was walking fifty feet away slipped and fell on the spill your son left on the floor.” Maybe if I keep repeating myself she’ll listen.

 

“In other words Deb, Michael was throwing a tantrum at work. Instead of doing his job, he pouted and someone almost got hurt.” Vic tells her.

 

“He didn’t tell me that, he just said that Brian was upset because his trick left, and left Michael behind.” Deb tells us.

 

“Before you start in on Brian, get the facts Sis.” Vic tells her. Shit I missed him, Deb isn’t capable of seeing her son as other than perfect.

 

“I’ll take Mikey out tonight, by tomorrow he’ll be back to normal.” I tell Deb. 

 

“See Vic, Brian knows he should have stood by Michael.” Deb tells him. I shake my head, we both know it’s a lost cause. Deb walks back in the kitchen, and Vic waits for me to explain.

 

“I’m not going to roll over and let Deb blame me, but like Michael, little steps work better with her. I think I leaped when I should have just stepped.” I tell him.

 

“Just don’t let Michael get away with making himself look innocent. I want Deb to get a life, so maybe I can get one too.” Vic tells me. The door opens and everyone starts to arrive. 

 

“Well if it isn’t Brian Kinney, are we still friends or am I still the villain?” Michael asks me.

 

“Michael, I was worried you were going to lose your job. You got written up already, did you really want your boss to find out you were careless.” I want to hurl, but I persevere. 

 

“I know you're right, I was just having a shitty day. You didn’t show up like you were supposed to, and Andrew was on my ass. Friends?” Michael walks over to hug me. He grabs my face and tries to lay one on me. I turn my head, no one kisses my lips, that is not going to change.

 

“How about after dinner we go to Babylon? I think I need to remind everyone who the ultimate top is.” I tell a smiling Michael. 

 

“Thank God, my best friend is still in there.” Michael announces.

 

“Like Brian could go five minutes without fucking someone.” Mel sneers at me.

 

“Mel, if you were a man, I’d have to worry about the competition.” I tell her. I watch her trying to find the insult in that statement.

 

“Mel wouldn’t whore around, Brian.” Lindsay tells me. I found the insult in that statement pretty fast.

 

“I’m not saying that liking sex makes you a whore, just that Mel could probably pick up as many women as I do men.” I tell Lindsay.

 

“Brian, stop trying to defend me, it feels wrong somehow.” Mel tells me.

 

Just laying the groundwork, I want us to be able to parent Gus together.

 

“Mel, you should be nice to Brian, he was being sweet.” Lindsay tells her. Lindsay tries to peck me on the lips, Mel glares. This is why Mel and I fight, well Lindsay asked for it.

 

I walk over to Mel and kiss her cheek. “You know you're hot, Lindsay should be kissing your feet.” I tease her. I watch Lindsay frown, guess we aren’t giving her a daily dose of Mel’s jealousy.

 

I let poor confused Mel off the hook. Michael shovels his food down and tells me we need to go. I grab Ted and Emmett by the ears and tell them they get to help me entertain our child.

 

BRIAN

 

I have been in an excellent mood all week, you want to know why? It wasn’t my fault. I have to say, deep thoughts during deep throating is a new experience for me. I was getting a decent blow job and I realized that Justin getting bashed had nothing to do with me. It was the twat trying to be noble. I know it was Hobbs all the way, but throughout my first time, it was just something I wondered ‘what if’ about all the time. So my mood was at an all time high and I didn’t even complain about the trick’s teeth.

 

I solved the Mikey losing his mind shit, with one blow job. When I walked out of the backroom, Mikey was suddenly all smiles. It’s really pathetic that all it took was fucking someone else to make my best friend happy. Emmett even asked me about the situation.

 

“I’m not complaining, but I can’t put up with another week of Michael pissing and whining about you, so tell me, what happened that you stopped hanging out with Michael?” Emmett asked me.

 

“I was busting my ass at work, Michael doesn’t get that I do work.” I tell Emmett.

 

“Maybe it’s because of the kid you’ve been paying attention to.” Emmett tells me.

 

“What are you talking about?” Michael and his fucking mouth.

 

“Michael just mentioned that you seem really interested in some kid who was at the Big Q.” Emmett tells me. What did Mikey do yell it at the diner?

 

“It was just me being my normal self, the kid is hot.” I tell him.

 

“Michael told me he’s like really young.” Emmett tells me. He actually seems concerned about it.

 

“He seventeen, yes he’s young but he’s mature for his age and the boy is almost a genius.” I tell him.

 

“You got all that from hitting on someone?” Emmett asks me. So maybe I went a little too far in my description of Sunshine. Crap he is going to have to meet Deb or the name isn’t going to happen.

 

“You can tell if someone is an idiot by talking to them.” I tell him.

 

“You having a conversation with a trick, that’s funny Brian.” Michael joins us.

 

“Michael, if I didn’t talk to them, how would they know they need to work on better technique.” I smirk. What does he think I do. Grab a guy and by showing him my dick, he magically wants to blow me.

 

“I’m just glad you got whatever was wrong with you out of your system.” Michael tells me.

 

“I’m still convinced the real Brian was abducted by aliens.” Ted tells us.

 

“Why Teddy?” Emmett asks.

 

“Did you hear him be nice to Mel?” Ted asks.

 

“That was strange, Lindsey seemed kind of upset the rest of dinner.” Emmett tells us.

 

Dear God, why did you curse me to have to relive this life with Michael and Lindsey. I waited, no answer, guess he wanted to make sure that I couldn’t just ride off with Justin.

 

“Brian, hey are you listening?” Michael asks me. I wanted to say no, I was trying to ask “why you have to be so needy.”

 

“Yeah but I see my next trick, later boys. Ted you can take them home, right.” I tell them. I figured they would think I took off with the guy. I was bored and wanted to go home.

 

“Sure, not like I have a chance in hell of hooking up in this meat market.” Ted tells me.

 

“Never know Ted, some twink might decide you look good. Of course it could be the crystal talking.” I snark at him. Ted glares at me, back to normal there.

 

“Brian, I thought we could hang out after Babylon tonight.” Michael pouts. Really, I came here and put up with him tonight and I’m supposed to take care of him all night.

 

“Michael, three’s a crowd and I plan on making up for lost time tonight.” I tell him.

 

“I could come by in a couple hours, the trick will be gone by then.” Michael tells me.

 

“Michael, let Brian get his freak on, Ted and I will hang out with you.” Emmett tells him. Emmett is getting a present, maybe I can wrap up Drew in a bow, naked. Humm, no not going to add Drew to the no degrees of separation.

 

I walk away before Michael offers to wait on my sofa for me to finish with a trick. Marilyn’s question about Michael and I is running through my head. The answer, I must like the abuse. 

 

Getting to the loft, I check messages and find out my needy muncher has called four times. I know they have a life, why is it suddenly on hiatus.

 

“Brian, can you call me? I really need to talk.” Lindsey says on the machine. Next message was an hour later.

 

“I didn’t mean to imply you're a whore, call me?” Lindsey’s next message.

 

“Hey guess you’re out, I’ll be up for a while call if you get this.” Lindsey must be worried Mel and I won’t fight with each other.

 

“Hey, just checking if your home?” I look at the time, it’s after one. She can wait till tomorrow or not, the phone starts ringing again. No winners for guessing who it is.

 

“Lindsey, why are you still up?” I ask her.

 

“Our baby is really active tonight.” She tells me. I hope Mel’s asleep.

 

“You should get sleep. I heard babies keep you up all night.” I tell her. 

 

“I guess I was also worried that you were mad at me.” She tells me. 

 

“Why, because I'm a whore?” I ask her. It's true I was, but I didn’t call her an art groupie slut when she fucked Sam.

 

“I wasn’t implying you were, just that Mel doesn’t screw around the way you do.” She tells me. Isn’t that just another way of saying I'm a whore? 

 

“Well not everyone can be me.” I tell her. 

 

“I knew you’d understand what I meant.” Lindsey tells me. Yeah, only I get to be a whore.

 

“Glad you feel better, get some sleep.” I tell her.

 

“Brian, I wanted to talk to you about the kid, Michael is worried.” Lindsey and Michael should never talk to each other.

 

“Nothing to talk about, saw a guy with an ass that won’t quit. I admired it, guy went home. Don’t know why you and Michael needed to discuss it.” I tell her. 

 

“Michael just thinks that you shouldn’t be leading some kid on.” Thank you Michael. You get a hand grenade up your ass for Christmas.

 

“Michael needs to worry about keeping his job.” I tell her.

 

“Michael can’t help it, he loves you.” Lindsey tells me.

 

“Yeah tell him to worry about getting a life. Maybe if you two girls had one, you two would stop worrying about me.” I tell her.

 

“Brian, it’s just you think with your dick. You could really hurt the kid.” Lindsey tells me. 

 

“Well speaking of my dick, I need to insert slot A in slot B, later.” I hang up. 

 

Hopefully she and Michael can talk all night about what a pervert I am, and not come here to lecture me on it.

 

I have plans to make. I want to be able to spend some serious time with Justin and I don’t need earth mother and captain whiner interrupting. With my luck Michael would try to stay with us all night this time. I think Justin and I should take a trip to Vermont the following weekend. Daphne should still be willing to cover for Justin. I want to make up for the things that we didn’t do. 

 

Maybe I should talk to Marilyn and make sure this isn’t going to be a problem.

 

“It won’t be, but be careful about changing everything Brian.” Vic tells me. Well Vic, if he was see through.

 

“You know maybe wear a bell, I would really like to make it to the night I meet Justin.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, you are being given this chance because you were never supposed to outlive Justin.” Vic tells me.

 

“So, because he died first, we got a second chance?” I ask him.

 

“No, You and Justin were suppose to have a long life together. Something changed it and we need to get the timeline back on track. You and Justin were going to be sent back together in the next life. Now we have time being rewritten all over the place.” Vic tells me.

 

“Marilyn said the same thing.” I tell him. Really, two queers die the wrong time and the world becomes chaos. I kind of like it, see, us gay men do have a purpose.

 

“Yeah Judy and the Big Guy are not happy with the change.” Vic tells me.

 

“I’m not thrilled that people keep things from me, either.” I want them to know that.

 

“Stop thinking about it, you were given this chance because you and Justin have things you needed to do.” Vic isn’t telling me something.

 

“Like what solve world hunger, stop war.” I hint at him. What? It could happen.

 

“Just something that didn’t happen. Take the gift you were given and stop trying to change everything. You're getting a chance to right your own mistakes. Be grateful, Big Guy doesn’t usually let you keep your memories.” Vic is really trying to sell this, but he needs to remember what I do.

 

“Here’s the thing Vic, according to you and Marilyn, I’m screwing up. What could be so important that I have to get it right?” I ask him.

 

“Let’s just say someone is missing from the world, because Justin wasn’t here. I can’t tell you more, just accept that you don’t get to know everything.” Vic tells me.

 

“Does Justin know? I wasn’t happy to find out about the bashing.” I tell Vic.

 

“You weren’t happy when you found out upstairs, you were there when we talked to him.” Vic tells me.

 

“Wait, I have to know. I make it upstairs?” I ask him.

 

“Yes Brian you always make it upstairs. Can we worry about that fifty years from now.” Vic tells me.

 

“Yeah, but man wait till I see St Joan.” I can’t help it, I really want to tell my mother.

 

“She never made it past purgatory, hope that makes your day.” Vic smirks. Yes it does, really want to go and tell her I’m gay.

 

“Brian, she isn’t important. If you want to deal with your mother go ahead.” I got a Christmas present.

 

“So why are you here again?” I ask him.

 

“To tell you to wake up, tonight's the night.” Vic disappears. I look around for him, damn I want to be able to do that.

 

What does he mean wake up. I was already up. 

 

“BBBBRRRRIIIIAAANNN, you’re going to be late for work, let me in.” Why is Michael telling me I’m late for work at two in the morning?

 

I turn to yell at Michael and fall out of bed. Okay, it was two in the morning, and now I’m falling out of a bed I haven’t gotten in yet. I look at the clock, eight am. I’m so confused.

BRIAN

 

I have to say, when you want the day to go faster, it slows down. I was sitting around trying to remember what happened tonight. I know I was at Babylon with the gang, got a crappy blow job and Michael came to tell me they wanted to go eat. I tried to teach the moron that was blowing me what Justin knew naturally, then I got bored. I walked outside and saw what would become the person I would love for the rest of my life. Okay, honestly, I saw a guy who I needed to get naked. The rest came later. Why lie to myself? 

 

Cynthia kept giving me strange looks all day, she finally told me to stop smiling. I would have told her I was going to meet my destiny tonight, but I was afraid she was going to check to see if I was high or needed to go to the emergency room. 

 

I finally just called it quits for the day, I wasn’t getting anything accomplished. I got home and thought, ‘what the hell was I wearing that night?’. Lesson to all the boys and girls, getting high makes you forget shit. I decided to go with my standard outfit; jeans, tee shirt and shirt unbuttoned. Looking in the mirror, I see my bracelet, I haven’t worn this in years. I don’t even remember what happened to the thing. It’s strange that I've been wearing it and just noticed. Why haven't I noticed it?

 

I look and it’s still hours before we meet. What to do? Fuck it, I have to hang out with Michael anyway. I called to see where my faithful lap dog is.

 

“Brian, did you get to work on time?” My ‘wife’ asks me. Seriously it’s like he was practicing for marriage with me. Okay banish that thought.

 

“Where are you?” I ask him. Wait for it.

 

“At the diner, you coming?” He asked me. Where else would he be, it's like the only place he eats. Most likely because Deb pays for his tab.

 

“Yeah, order for me dear.” I tell him. It came out sounding sarcastic. 

 

I hang up before I piss him off and we don’t go out tonight. I’m trying to keep this as close to the original night as i can remember. Even if I'd rather it be just me and Justin. 

 

I needed to stop and pick up a present for the only other person who was important to me. Gus is coming, makes me wonder why they both appeared on the same night. 

 

“To teach you that you were capable of love. On the night you meet Justin. ” Ghost Vic tells me. Mother fucker, is he trying to kill me?

 

“Are you trying to end this before tonight even happens?” I ask him.

 

“I just needed to tell you one more thing.” Vic tells me.

 

“Well don’t keep me in suspense.” I tell him. Why can’t they just tell me everything, this popping in and out is creepy.

 

“You have to take Michael with you tonight, to the hospital.” Vic tells me.

 

“Can’t I just let him get laid? I mean only Mikey could pick up someone who wears a fake ass.” I tell him.

 

“No, he has to be there, but thanks for the visual. Michael takes the pictures of your son.” Vic tells me.

 

“Hey Vic, do I look stupid to you?” I ask him. A picture? Can’t they come up with something better.

 

“No, but just remember things happen for a reason.” Damn it he disappeared. I swear I want to strangle these people. At least Yoda made sense.

 

I go to the shop that carries the teddy bear, the one Justin had as a child. I want Gus to have one just like it. Jen gave Gus the bear after Justin was gone. He asked her for it, he missed Justin. Jen, being the great woman she is, gave Gus the last thing she had of Justin’s childhood. 

 

Gus kept it and eventually gave it to Sunny. It was Gus’s talismen, he used it to remember.  Lindsey wanted him to forget Justin, because he wasn’t adjusting to Canada and told his mother that he missed Justin and me. Lindsey would have been fine if it had just been me, she could have badgered me to death about my son. I wasn’t talking to her anymore at the time. Mel was the only one I would talk to. 

 

In fact, my two best friends thought it was unhealthy that Gus mourned Justin just as much as I did. I told Gus they just didn’t love Justin the way we did. Gus told me it was like Justin was there when he looked at the bear. 

 

I warned both Michael and Lindsey, the bear better not go missing, or they would have to deal with me. Gus told me when they tried to convince him to give it away to kids who didn’t have toys. I called and asked why not give away the shit Michael gives the kids, Michael pouted. Lindsey tried to make it sound like it was causing Gus to keep from getting over the loss.

 

I called Mel and asked why they felt they have to banish Justin from existence. Mel told me we could keep Justin alive, she loved him too. Mel took care of the problem, that was the day Mel and I learned we liked each other. It’s also the day Lindsey tried to Peter me to death. I told her Peter died when she used that article. It took years for me to forgive her and Michael for trying to erase Justin.

 

What if they are the reason everything went wrong? Another question for the mystics to answer, maybe I should start sending Marilyn emails to get an answer, she doesn’t stick around when I really have questions. I need to get that teddy bear, since I’m not going to lose Justin again. 

 

It made me think about the fact that I didn’t answer my cell that night. Strange since I always answered Lindsey at that time. I wanted to be there for Gus’s birth, not because it was a big deal, but to piss Mel off. I guess it’s one of those things that was supposed to happen. When I think about it, if I had answered, I’d have never meet Justin. If Justin hadn’t come with me, Gus would have been Abraham, because I really didn’t care for either name. You know, life was so much easier when I didn’t know.

 

Arriving at the diner, I see the gang. It occurs to me the last time I saw them, we were all old. Hell, Michael and I had grandchildren and a great grandchild in my case. All of them had to go through shit to be happy. I could change the pain they went through trying to find the people they end up with.

 

“No you don’t.” Marilyn or should I say Marty tells me. Guess she doesn’t dress up till later.

 

“Why not?” I ask her.

 

“They aren’t ready for it. Let their lives be theirs. You aren’t here to fix it for them. If Ben came now, he would hook up with Ted. Blake wouldn’t have meet Ted, because the condom would break. Ted would kill himself.” Marilyn/Marty tells me. Does anything good happen to us? She stares me down, after a second she nods and walks away. See what I mean? I have more questions but she only comes to stop me.

 

“Hey, you're kind of hot as a guy.” They fuck with me, I fuck with them. Marilyn/Marty flips me off.

 

“Brian, you coming in. Who was that?” Michael asks me.

 

“We going to Babylon tonight?” I ask him. I ignore the other question.

 

“Can’t we hang out at Woody’s tonight?” Michael asks me. 

 

“You can, but I’m going to Babylon.” How come he can try to change things?

 

“Fine, but I have to work in the morning, so no staying till three.” He tells me.

 

“Okay Grandma, what the hell is with you?” I ask him. Normally he wants to hang out all night.

 

“Nothing, I just thought we could do something different for a change.” Michael tells me. Something is bothering him.

 

I walk into the diner, trying to figure out why Michael suddenly doesn’t want to go out. Emmett is chatting away with Ted. 

 

“It was so strange Teddy, this guy walks up and tells me that something bad is going to happen if we go to Babylon tonight.” Emmett tells Ted.

 

“Did he say what?” Ted asks him.

 

“No, just that it would hurt Michael. Right Michael.” Emmett turns to Michael.  

 

“You believed this guy?” Ted asks them.

 

“Not really, but it seemed strange.” Michael tells us.

 

“Was it some random guy or was it someone you know?” I ask them. Who else is trying to help?

 

“Random guy, never seen him before. He seemed really concerned about Michael.” Emmett tells me. 

 

“What did he say exactly?” I ask him. 

 

“Just that we should stay away from Babylon. Something about Michael losing something. Strange shit.” Emmett tells me. “I stopped paying attention when he told me you should go to Boy Toy tonight, it sounded like he was trying hook up with you, Brian. You know to get you to grace a crap bar so he could meet you. Could have been looking to trick with Brian Kinney.” 

 

I swear Emmett comes up with weird ideas sometimes. Where are my mystic guides when this shit is going on, or do they only bother to tell me I’m a screw up? Why is someone trying to stop me? Don't I have enough to deal with, ‘Justin the Virgin’ isn’t going to be ready to fuck like monkeys. Really? Thinking that Michael not going would stop me. My future is coming to Liberty Avenue, the apocalypse couldn’t stop me. They change the subject to some movie star and I pray time will start moving faster. Marilyn and I will talk about this later.

 

JUSTIN

 

Daphne agreed to help me get to the gay district. I was disappointed that I lost the card from Brian. I know I could have looked him up, but I want to be fantastic in bed before we hook up. Brian would probably lose interest in me if I sucked in bed. He probably already forgot my name by now.

 

I get Daphne to drop me off and start walking around. Hopefully someone can tell me a good place to meet guys. A guy was standing around so I figured I’d ask him. He told me about all the bars, then offered to take me home. Not in this lifetime. Crap, it’s kind of disappointing, I don’t know what I expected to happen, but wandering around wasn’t it. Maybe I should look for someone my age, and follow them. Hopefully, they would show me a good place to go.

 

“Hey kid.” I turn and look at a cross dresser.

 

“Yes Ma’am.” I answer her.

 

“You should go to Babylon, it’s a good first place to go.” She tells me. Then points in the direction she thinks I should go.

 

“Thanks.” I tell her. Guess I’ll head in that direction. 

 

I get to the street in front of Babylon and need to get the courage to go in. I lean on the lamppost and try to psych myself up for this. Do I really want to do this? I could wait, maybe find Brian. No, I have to at least try. I look over toward the bar and see Brian standing there looking at me. Maybe my night is looking up. 

 

“Sorry Justin, but I refuse to miss this night.” I turn to see ‘me’ standing there. What the hell?

 

JUSTIN 

 

I begged to go back, this is the single most important night of our lives. I've tried not to ask for things, but this is important to me. I told them in the morning they could make my younger self forget it. I just wanted us to be together, without Brian having to hear ‘I like your kitchen’ or my long winded speech about my allergies. Vic finally got permission for me to come back and be with Brian tonight. He told me they gave me until I see Daphne in the morning. Then I go back to the being a teen again. Maybe I’ll pretend to be the untried virgin, Brian doesn’t have to know. 

 

Brian stands there looking at me and I watch him head towards me. God, he was always a beautiful bastard. What would it be like to know what was ahead, but not be able to let on you know? For me, it's remembering standing here waiting for him to reach me. Thinking he was going to take one look at me, and think ‘what a dork’. I wanted to look away but for some reason, I knew I had to look him in the eye that night. He made sure we talked face to face. Brian would have probably blown me off if I hadn’t been looking him in the eyes.

 

“How’s it going? Had a busy night?” Brian asks me. What the hell did I say?

 

“Just um, checking out the bars, ya know.” Fuck I’m going to laugh. I can’t believe we get to do this again. Crap what did I say after that. Think Justin, damn it how am I supposed to think when Brian is looking at me like that. He starts to frown. 

 

“You okay Justin?” He asks me. I'm already screwing this up. Fuck it, he deserves to know.

 

“I’d be better if I could remember what I said last time.” I smile at him. He stares into my eyes. I can see the moment he figures out I'm me.

 

“Justin?” He asks me.

 

“You promise to remember my name in the morning?” I ask him.

 

“I never forgot it, just had to protect my image. Why now?” He asks me. 

 

“It’s something I had to be here for.” I tell him. 

 

“Promise me we'll talk later? Right now I need us.” Brian tells me. 

 

“I have till you drop me off at school, then I go back.” I tell him. 

 

“Why are we wasting time then?” Brian asks me. 

 

“I want to play Mr Kinney.” I tell him. Brian smiles and knows what I want.

 

“Where you headed?” He ask me.

 

“No place special.” I tell him. 

 

“I can change that.” He smiles. Thinking back, he did change it, and we wouldn't have had it any other way. 

 

Before heading to the Jeep, Brian leans in and we devour each other, it feels like coming home. He leans his head against mine and says, “I love you, Justin.” 

 

“I love you, Brian” I tell him. 

 

“Say it often tonight, I need to hear it from this you.” He tells me. I promise him I will.

 

Brian grabs my hand and drags me to the car. I see the guys, I miss them, but I want to smirk at Michael. He was a dick back then, and I forever got something from Brian Michael never would, Brian’s soul. I also think if I was Michael, I would've hated me too. So I just stare at Brian, and leave Michael to dream of Brian. I hear them cursing Brian for leaving them behind. I can’t help it, I was grinning. It's like watching my favorite movie again. 

 

I haven’t been with Brian in forever, not only does he get a virgin but a virgin that remembers everything he ever taught me. We are so not going to sleep tonight. 

 

 

 

BRIAN

 

Marilyn was right, I could see it in his eyes. It was like the light turned on and my Justin was back where he belonged. I could waste time with questions or I could make love to him. Not really a hard choice. We took off from Babylon and I watched Justin looking at everything we passed.

 

“What are you thinking about?” I ask him.

 

“Nothing really, it’s just nice to see it all again. I’ve been gone a long time.” Justin tells me. I never thought about what he was doing all this time.

 

“You couldn’t come and wander around?” I ask him.

 

“Only when I have to help someone.” He tells me.

 

“Who else did you help? And by the way we need to discuss you and Hobbs.” I want him to explain it to me.

 

“Deb, Carl and Ben, before you. We don’t need to discuss Hobbs. If you were given the choice you would have done it too.” He tells me. Would I have? I realized that if it saved Gus or Justin, yes. The others, okay I would have. But it still doesn’t thrill me.

 

We get to the loft and Justin runs ahead and stops. Guess he remembers he couldn’t get in without the key. I need to make sure he gets the new key I had made for him. I wanted to be able to stop Michael and Lindsey from coming over all the time and just walking in. I wanted to save it for a surprise in the morning, Mikey is going to have to wait for me to let him in. I open the door and we run for the stairs, we actually have time before the call tonight. Glad we didn’t have to wait, my nuts would have exploded.

 

“Are we going to wait?” An impatient Justin asks me. See, he thinks just like I do.

 

“They aren’t going to call for an hour, think we can get in a round or two.” I smirk at him.

 

Instead of answering Justin takes off his shirts and is striping as he walks to the bedroom. I have to admire the beauty that is Justin. Justin is a work of art, from his porcelain skin to his ass. Justin turns and looks at me, shit, I guess I need to catch up. I start taking off my pants and jock strap. I was pulling off my shirt when Justin decided to speed me up by licking my cock. I get my shirt off in time to see him slowly pull me into his mouth. He definitely remembered how to do this. Justin used his hands to slide up around my balls and massage them. I’m not going to last, but I can stay hard. I run my hands down the side of his face and make him look at me while I fuck his face. He started humming to drive me wild with the vibrations, damn it I wanted this to last. I feel my favorite tingling and know Justin is about to get his favorite form of protein. As usual, he keeps going until I release into his mouth. Justin pulls back and stands up, smiling. I let him snowball me, it was always hot.

 

I push him down on the bed and turn him over. I want to relive this part, Justin moaning was enough to make me cum. I run my hands over his ass and separate the lushious globes to see my prize. I bite each cheek and start running my tongue around his hole. I breach him with my tongue and massage his balls to make him as crazy as he made me. 

 

“You know, I love when you rim me, but I need you to fuck me.” Justin moans out.

 

My little needy twat is going to have to wait, I need to lick and suck every inch first. I turn him over and look at his cock, he’s leaking precum all over himself. I lick my present and reach up to share with him. I crawl up the bed and we start making out. Justin wraps his legs around my waist and uses my cock to tease his hole. He starts blindly reaching for the bowl. Fuck, forgot about that.

 

“Um Brian, not that I would mind raw, but I know better. Where the hell are the condoms?” Justin looks around. I know I bought more, I run to the bathroom and look everywhere, fuck did I use them all this week?

 

“I just haven’t been up to my usual.” I tell him. I run to the kitchen and look everywhere. How the hell could I have forgotten the fucking condoms. I’m as so screwed, and not the way I wanted it to happen. Guess we’ll have to wait till after the hospital.

 

My cell rings and I know enough time hasn’t passed, Mel still doesn’t call me again for another hour. 

 

“Kinney.” I answer.

 

“Open the fucking door, I swear between you and Justin, I feel like a lost a couple hundred pounds trying to help.” Marilyn tells me. Like her trying to tell me what to do is going help the condom issue. “How about you come to the door and get the five boxes I was kind enough to get.” I think I just fell in love with Marilyn. “Sorry Kinney, but I like to be the one in control of relationships.” She needs to get out of my head. I open the door and grab the bag from my fairy godmother.

 

“Kinney, your fairy godmother would have had to join AA the week after she started looking after your fine ass.” Marilyn looks me up and down. “Good to see you Justin.” She smiles at him. Glad he grabbed some sweats. “Brian I don’t need to see it live, I get to see it anytime I want. I’ve got to say you are one lucky son of bitch, you got the ass and the dick with Justin.” She turns and walks off. I kind of feel violated, but fuck it, I always liked an audience. I throw the condoms at him and we race back to bed.

 

I want to watch us, so i throw the closet door open and pull Justin to his knees in front of me. He turns to watch as I prepare him. He moans as I slide my middle finger into his hole. I lean down and lick him again and start pushing in a second finger, I rotate my wrist to open him up more. Justin is begging me to fuck him. I wait till I feel his shiver and know it’s time. Justin throws an open condom at me and pushes back against my fingers, while I put on the condom. I turn us so I can stare in the mirror while I push into him. I love the look in his eyes when he gets fucked. Justin turns and starts kissing my jaw and I push him forward on his hands.

 

“Watch me fuck you.” I tell him. Justin looks up in the mirror and I slam into him.

 

“Do it again, I need to cum. I’ve missed this so much.” Justin tells me.

 

I slowly slide all the way out and slam into him again. I hear him scream as I hit the perfect spot. Justin lifts up and reaches back to hold my hips and moves to take control of the situation. I work his ass until I know he is going to cum, I watch as he covers my duvet with cum. Instead of acting like an asshole, I smile, that it was my Justin, I start moving faster and can feel my release coming. The phone rings and I grab it and answer just as I cum.

 

“Fuck, your ass was amazing.” I tell Justin. “Kinney.” I say into the phone.

 

“Brian get your dick out of whatever ass it’s in and come meet your son.” Mel sneers into the phone.

 

“On my way, congratulations Mel.” I tell her.

 

“Brian please don’t come to the hospital high.” Mel tells me. She’s still looking for the angle for my behavior.

 

“No drugs Smelly Melly, just fucked the greatest ass in history.” I tell her.

 

“I really didn’t need to know that either.” She tells me. Yeah but I’m all for sharing right now. She hangs up and now I have to call Mikey. You know, to take pictures.

 

The conversation goes pretty much the same. Me letting him off the hook to hook up, and him desperately trying to escape the hook up.

 

“Ready to get Michael?” Justin asks me.

 

“No, but apparently it has to happen.” I tell him.

 

“Did Vic tell you why?” Justin asks me.

 

“No, I get only bits and pieces. Then when I do something wrong, they all suddenly need to tell me more.” I tell him.

 

“It’s really kind of stupid. Your Jeep has to get vandalized, so you can out me at school.” Justin tells me.

 

“I already told Marilyn this and you need to understand this too. I’m not willing to stand there and watch you get your head knocked in.” I tell him. We start down to the Jeep, I really don’t want the Jeep to get spray painted.

 

“We can’t avoid it altogether, but it doesn’t have to happen the way it did. Use that brain and find away around it.” Justin tells me. 

 

“You really want to go through that again?” I ask him. 

 

“You're going with me, I want you there, don't disappoint me.” Justin tells me.

 

“It gets confusing when I realize you're not going to remember any of this.” I tell him. 

 

“I'll remember we had sex, does that help?” Justin tells me. 

 

“At least I can stop stalking the school just to see you. Since your younger self became my stalker.” I smirk at him.

 

“Shut up, you loved it.” Justin tells me. 

 

“Why do you think I let you do it?” I tell him.

 

We pull up to pick up Michael, great, I forgot he was pissy over Justin being here.

 

“You brought him.” Michael bitched.

 

“He’s got nowhere to go, get in” I tell him. There are just some things I'm reliving, that a Deb slap should be allowed. I look at Justin who is smiling, probably because he doesn’t have to relive this crap.

 

We run down the hall and I wanted Justin to be with me, when we meet our son, but he backs away. Guess it's another ‘have to happen’ thing. I walk over to meet my son, it's hard not to tell this little guy how amazing he's going to be. Gus understood me better than everyone else. He told me after meeting his partner, “Da, maybe you and I only love one person in our lifetime.” I want to tell him to go easy on Mel when he gets older, she wasn’t trying to ruin your fun. That the first guy wasn’t the one, but the next one was your soulmate. JR is going to be your best friend one day, so don't be mean to her, she becomes our partner in crime. That we get to have Justin, not a memory. Instead I look at the baby who will one day be my real best friend and smile at him. I make sure Michael gets a picture, can't let that not happen. Mel gets to tell me not to drop Gus and I tell her my line. Justin is right, it’s like watching a movie. 

 

I listen to Lindsey with new ears, when she talked about the names and realize that she was hinting at me to pick Gus. I turn to Justin and I can tell he had to think about what he said tonight. 

 

“You wouldn’t survive a day in school being named named Abraham,... but I guess Gus is okay.” Justin smiles at us.

 

I wanted to laugh when Mel wanted to know who he was. I pretended to not know Justin’s name. Michael fills it in, but I notice he when he says Justin’s name he is looking at me. Shit, maybe he remembers me saying Justin’s name my first morning back. Going to the roof with Michael was different, Gus being born made me happy. I still tried to act like it he was a ticking time bomb. We talked but I couldn’t kiss him, it just isn’t the same anymore for me.

 

We walked back and I see the guy I hit on, I smiled at him but I have Justin to get back to. Michael was going on and on about my responsibilities, and I really wanted to tell him I supported both our kids, while all he ever offered were excuses for not being able to help out financially. Man, it sucks the fun out of things to know the future. 

 

I grabbed Justin’s ear and go to see Lindsey. I tell her I’m willing to help and finally get the hell out of the hospital. Michael drives us and tries to send Justin home. The twat had to fuck with Michael.

 

“I’m going with him.” He tells Mother Michael.

 

We get dropped off and I watch as he drives off with my once pristine Jeep.

 

“Let it go, you end up getting the new Jeep.” Justin tells me. 

 

“I know but I liked it. I had it tricked out the way I wanted it.” I tell him.

 

“How about we trick me out the way you like?” Justin smiles at me.

 

He has a point, we run back upstairs and proceed to relive the rest of the night. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRIAN 

 

I lay next to Justin and just wanted to take him and just run away. We are us right now. If he sees Daphne I lose this him. 

 

“Brian, I'll still fall in love with you.” Justin tells me. 

 

“Why do we have to wait?” I ask him. 

 

“We have to get it right.” He tells me. 

 

“How are we going to do that if I don't know what went wrong?” I ask him. Justin seems to debating something in his head. He finally solves whatever he was thinking.

 

“The minute I got on the plane, everything changed. Only the Big Guy knows what caused it all.” Justin tells me. 

 

“Please tell me we aren’t going to have to wait five fucking years for you to come back.” I don’t want to wait that long.

 

“No, Vic told me you're going to be able to trigger my return faster.” Justin tells me.

 

“Did he tell you how?” I want him to remember sooner.

 

“Yes, but you have to do it, I can’t tell you.” Justin tells me.

 

“Why can’t everyone just tell me?” I ask him.

 

“Vic said you would try it too soon, we have to get this right.” Justin tells me.

 

“Let's talk about Hobbs.” I want him to explain it to me. 

 

“I didn’t just agree Brian. They let us see what would happen if I we don’t get Hobbs to the garage. I couldn’t let everyone I love get hurt, you know that. You weren’t happy about it, but you understood at the time. We couldn't stop the bashing last time because we didn’t know exactly when it happened. We weren't sent back knowing it. I don’t want you to think I let it happen when I could have stopped it.” Justin tells me.

 

“If I keep you from being hit, is that going to fuck it up?” I need to know. I don’t know if I can stand there and watch him get hurt.

 

“It’s going to change some things. My mother isn’t going to blame you. She is going to blame the right person this time. Daphne still has to go with us somewhere though, I won’t let Andy rape her. Mel and Lindsay will be okay as long as Hobbs doesn’t get on the road that night.” Justin tells me.

 

“I don’t understand why we are so important.” I tell Justin.

 

“Our lives, actually all lives, are important in some way. Everyone has a role in this world.” Justin the Saint tells me.

 

“Who's missing Justin?” I ask him.

 

“The person who will do great things one day. Just know you're going to love her.” Justin tells me.

 

“We are going to have a daughter one day?” Suddenly I think I understand a lot more.

 

“Yes, and she is going to be the love of our lives. Gus is going to try to convince us to have a boy, but he’s going to love Kira.” Justin smiles at the thought.

 

“Kira?” I ask him.

 

“I don’t know why you named her that, we never got to do it.” Justin tells me.

 

“It depends on what I was thinking. I read it meant God or that she would be hot and the coolest person ever, I don’t remember now. I looked it up when I didn’t know if Gus was a boy or girl. I wasn’t going to get to name him but I was high and wanted to offer suggestions.” I tell him. So I get to name our child one day.

 

“It’s makes it special that you got to name her.” Justin tells me.

 

“Did they let us see her, you know, before we got sent back?” I ask him.

 

“She was always a part of our lives. Gus and Alex are always there too. Just not in the same roles.” Justin tells me.

 

“Gus is always my son, right?” I ask him.

 

“No, you were twins at one point, that was a mess. They decided not to do that again. You both tried to date me.” Justin laughs.

 

“I noticed Gus dated blond twinks, guess he and I share the same taste.” I tell him. “There was something else that happened. Someone tried to tell Michael that we shouldn’t go to Babylon tonight.” 

 

“Just ignore the idiot. Luckily that we can by-pass him altogether if we want.” Justin tells me.

 

“Who?” I need to know who to beat the shit out of.

 

“Just don’t get pissy about this. It’s Ethan.” Justin tells me. It makes sense now.

 

“How is he involved in this?” I ask Justin.

 

“He is always somewhere in our history. Most of the time we ignore him, but in this life you and I split up. He was able to slip through. Before you ask, he isn’t the reason things went wrong.” Justin tells me.

 

“Why don’t they tell us, so we can fix it?” I ask him.

 

“Free will Brian. We have to make our own choices or we don’t have free will.” Justin tells me.

 

“This sucks, in two hours I have to let you go again.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, I’m still there, I just don’t remember everything.” He tells me.

 

“I lived forty years without you already.” I tell him

 

“I saw you, but remember I wasn’t with you either. I had to wait for people to die to see you.” Justin tells me.

 

“You were there for Deb, Carl, and Ben?” I ask him.

 

“Vic helped with Deb, but Ben and Carl didn’t have anyone to help them. I came for them, so I could see you.” Justin tells me.

 

“I really want to see my mother.” I haven’t forgotten that.

 

“Go do it if you want to. It doesn’t really change anything. Joan isn’t significant in the world, neither was Jack. Enjoy the gift.” Justin smiles at me.

 

“Thank the Big Guy for the present.” I tell him. It makes the fact they were shitty parents seem less important. 

 

“They have to make some things tolerable.” Justin tells me.

 

“Yeah, speaking of that, Michael and Lindsey?” I ask him.

 

“You were able to age and outgrow your childhood with them. It makes you view them differently. You loved them both, but now you can see they weren’t the greatest friends.” Justin tells me.

 

“Ted, Emmett and Mel become that for me later. I pushed Michael and Lindsay away, they wanted you to become a distant memory.” I tell them.

 

“Brian they are selfish people. They don’t mean to be, it’s just Lindsay grew up privileged and always had a sense of entitlement. You didn’t mind it because she used it to get you things, when you were in college. Michael had you to himself all his life, he never thought you would love anyone more than you loved him. He gets over it, Michael and I even became friends. It just takes him finding Ben to understand what a healthy love is.” Justin tells me.

 

“Healthy? You're talking about Mikey, right? I mean this is the man who wouldn't let Ben go, he was making all sort of stupid decisions. The doctor had to finally get Hunter to override Michael. Then when I was dying he was like the wife from hell.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, he was losing everyone, give him a little on this. Michael will never completely grow up.” Justin tells me.

 

“Justin, the fucker tried to convince me that he and I should finally be together, three days after Ben’s funeral.” I will not let him saint Michael.

 

“Fuck him... just kidding. I told you he never grew up completely. He also never stopped wanting you. If I had lived he might have let go of the idea, but you never had another serious relationship, so he probably thought you were waiting for him.” Why is always making excuses for my best friend.

 

“I would never love Michael that way. Just like Lindsay, she seemed to always see me as her husband.” I tell him. Justin doesn’t seem so quick to defend her.

 

“Lindsay is still a sore subject, even after all this time. You know she came to me first with that article. I told her New York wasn’t my opportunity of a lifetime, you were.” Justin tells me. 

 

“No, she never told me that. You know it was strange when I think about it now. I was trying to keep Gus here and she talked like we were a divorced couple. I could have Gus weekends and holidays, then she reached into her purse and pulls out a huge Art Forum magazine. Who the fuck keeps something that size in her purse?” I ask him.

 

“Someone who wanted me gone?” He suggests.

 

“Why though? She was leaving. It wasn’t like you staying with me was going to have anything to do with her.” I tell him. 

 

“Maybe it was later, you know she always prided herself that she had your child.” Justin tells me.

 

“Is that it, did she somehow stop Kira from being born?” I’m ready to kill a muncher.

 

“She didn’t know about that, but you weren’t running out tricking anymore. She wasn’t thrilled that we had the house she dreamed of. I was getting things she wanted, and instead of fighting it, you were ready to give them to me.” Justin tells me.

 

“But did she know she was going to ruin our lives by showing it to me?” I ask him.

 

“In the past lives, she never did anything like that. She was always just someone we knew. Well except when she tried to get you to marry her, but Mel came along and she let it go.” Justin tells me.

 

“Justin, what are you talking about?” I ask him.

 

“It was our second life, but we just went on, nothing happened.” Justin acts like I should know all this.

 

“You don’t think she wanted more?” I ask him.

 

“She always wants more, she just usually doesn’t get it.” Justin tells me.

 

I hear the buzzer ring, guess Mikey just figured out he can’t get in. We both kiss one more time.

 

“I love you Brian Kinney, forever.” Justin tells me.

 

“I love you, always have and always will, Justin Taylor.” I tell him.

 

Justin gets dressed and I answer the idiot with his finger on the buzzer. 

 

“Justin, did we change too much already?” I ask him.

 

“Some small things, but you're not going to notice them.” Justin tells me.

 

“I don’t want you to go back. Can’t we just drop off Michael and run to Vermont?” I ask him. I don’t unlock the loft door that Michael is banging on like a lunatic.

 

“You can, but I have to get back. I do get to experience the things you do. They become part of my memories, so it’s like I was there for me.” Justin tells me. That was good enough for now, at least he’ll feel like he was there. 

 

I open the door to a frustrated Michael. “He’s still here.” He rolls his eyes. Wait didn’t he ask me if I didn’t get enough last night. “Little things.” Justin whispers.

 

I tell Michael we have to get ready but Mikey has to snipe at Justin. “Will you come on, I’m not going to be late because of you.” Michael tells Justin. I almost told Michael to check his attitude.

 

We get in the jeep and I want to cry because my Jeep had spray paint on it, but I can be the bigger man. Michael makes Justin sit in the back. Justin smiles and jumps in. We head to the school and I want to stop him from going there, but I can’t. I pull up and make sure to announce we arrived. Justin pretends to be embarrassed but I can tell he doesn’t care. He gets out and looks at me. I don’t care what I did, I need to kiss him before he forgets me again. I hear Michael clearing his throat several time, fuck him.

 

“When can I see you again?” Justin asks me. 

 

“Every Night… In your dreams.” I tell him.

 

I see Daphne standing there and know he is going to forget. I want to yell ‘don’t look at her’. I let him go, because I know I can get him back. Before he can look at her, I hold his face and ask him, “Justin, why did you remember at Big Q?” 

 

“I’m in here Brian, I managed to slip out.” Justin tells me. 

 

“Try to do it again soon.” I tell him.

 

“I won’t have to you're going to do it for me.” He tells me.

 

“Brian, we need to GO. Tell the trick good-bye.” Michael interrupts. Guess this is the little changes.

 

Justin turns and looks at Daphne. He turns back and I see the Justin from the beginning looking at me. I drive off, I can’t pretend it didn’t hurt. I listen to Michael practically celebrating we dropped Justin off. Fuck the lines, I think it’s time to enforce some free will.

 

“I think I’m going to marry that kid one day, Mikey.” I tell him.

 

“Ha ha, very funny. Hopefully he won’t become a fucking stalker.” Michael tells me.

 

“No that’s your job.” I tell him. I try to sound like I was kidding.

 

“Which reminds me, why didn’t my code and key work?” Michael asks me.

 

“You said it, I’m doing all kinds of strange things lately. Plus I wanted to stop everyone from running in and out of the loft.” I tell him.

 

“I’ve always had a key. I’m your best friend, why can’t I have the key.” Michael whines.

 

“Because it’s what I want. Live with it.” I tell him. I pulled up to his stop. Michael sits for a minute.”Don’t you need to get to work, you don’t need to be late again.” I tell him.

 

Michael gets out and slams the door. Well, I have other things to do. Like get the bonus and plan a trip. Michael can get over not being the center of attention. 

 

 

 

JUSTIN (UPSTAIRS)

 

Vic is waiting for me when I get back. I didn’t tell Brian anything that could change everything. They need to stop acting like we have to follow an exact script.

 

“Justin, you weren’t supposed to tell him all that.” Vic tells me.

 

“Vic, have you met Brian Kinney? Because he’s not patient when it comes to me, he isn’t going to do things without understanding why.” I tell Vic.

 

“Did you have to tell him about Kira?” Vic asks me.

 

“It gives him a good reason to stay on track.” I tell him.

 

“Yes but it also made Kira impatient again.” Vic tells me.

 

I see my daughter come running to me. She wants to be born, but we have to wait. Kira will always remind me of Molly. She has Brian’s eyes, but other than that she inherited my side of the family. Kira was Molly’s gift to Brian and I. When Molly turned eighteen she donated an egg, so we could have a child with both our DNA. Poor Brian was a father again at forty. He was thrilled with her. I want to live that life, not just see it as a possibility.

 

“Daddy, is he going to get it right?” Kira asks me.

 

“We’re talking about your father, what do you think?” I ask her.

 

“You’re right Daddy, but you know I still have to wait another eleven years.” She lets out a sigh.

 

“But you blink and it’s eleven years.” I tell her.

 

“Yeah that doesn’t work anymore, you know what forty years of waiting can do that to a girl?” She asks me.

 

I want to answer but I can feel that Brian did it. I’m going back. “See, it’s happened sweetheart.” I tell her.

 

“It only took him a week.” She yells happily. 

 

But up here it doesn’t always seem that long.

 

BRIAN

 

I got the bonus, Ryder looks like he would rather swallow a mouthful of cum then give it to me. He needs to remember I bring in seventy percent of the accounts around here.

 

“I’m going to be taking off early on Friday.” I tell him.

 

“As long as you’re back by Monday, we have a new account to start planning.” He tells me.

 

“I know, I’m the one who won it.” I tell him. 

 

I went to my office and I realize I want to start working on Leo Brown sooner. I don’t even want to be here when Ryder sells to Gardner. Ted told me I could take out the loans to start a company. I think it’s time to put Ted to work. He doesn’t have to become a crystal queen. My phone rings.

 

“Brian, didn’t I tell you not to mess with your friends lives?” Marilyn asks me. 

 

“How is starting Kinnetik messing up?” I ask her. 

 

“If Ted doesn’t go to rehab, he and Emmett end up staying together. Emmett will leave him for an abusive man, who will turn Emmett into a shell of himself.” Marilyn tells me. 

 

“I swear you make this up to keep me from doing anything. Why does everything turn to shit?” I ask her.

 

“Ted ends up being successful, but Michael leaves Ben for Ted. Yeah I can see your point about it turning to shit. You can’t fix their lives, it won’t happen the same way.” She tells me.

 

“I don’t want to work for Gardner Vance.” I tell her.

 

“You only need to do it long enough to stop Stockwell.” She tells me.

 

“I have to spend time with that asshole?” I ask her.

 

“No, you don’t help his campaign this time. You don’t have to help him, if you don’t lead the campaign, Stockwell’s minions will run it into the ground. Either way he’s going to lose.” She tells me.

 

“So there really isn’t a script, just make sure certain things happen that I know should?” I ask her. 

 

“I always said you were smart.” She tells me and hangs up. I wish I could just make a list.

 

So I just have to make sure things that should happen, do. Justin being bashed wasn’t a should happen. That means we just need to get the fucker in trouble, so he can’t drive himself home that night. Daphne is just going to have stay with us. I think I just found the way around it Justin. My phone rings again,

 

“Good job, Kinney.” Marilyn tells me.

 

“So it’s doable?” I ask her.

 

“Yes, but you won’t be able to stop Michael from leaving. He needs to do that.” She tells me.

 

“I really don’t care if he comes back.” I tell her.

 

“He will be back though, and he is going to be a handful, because he is going to come back to the Justin we know. And this Justin will not be willing to take Michael’s crap like he did before.” She tells me.

 

“So Justin will be back?” I ask her.

 

“Kinney, you're unstoppable when you want something. You really think you couldn’t get him back?” She tells me.

 

“Just wanted to have a happy thought, you know after all the doom and gloom you pass out like candy.” I tell her.

 

“Get to work, you have a stalker to meet tonight.” She tells me.

 

I smile as I hang up the phone. Justin does show up tonight. Do I have to send him home upset? Shit why didn’t I ask her that? I grab the ringing phone.

 

“You do have to send him home, but you don’t have to upset him. He needs a reason to go meet Mel and Lindsay. Tell him you want him to meet your friends before you two take off to Vermont.” She tells me.

 

“Don’t hang up yet. I don’t have to act like a shit?” I ask her.

 

“No, and I’m giving you this for free. You are going to get Justin back when you go to Vermont.” She tells me.

 

“So whatever it is I have to do, I do this weekend?” I ask her.

 

“Yes, now I have to help someone else, they want to wear spandex and they really shouldn’t.” She tells me. I wonder what she does when she isn’t being Mysterious Marilyn.

 

Mystery for another day. Guess I’ll start making Ryder rich enough to retire. Can’t wait for Gardner to give me an ultimatum. I think it’s time to talk to all my accounts about where they want to be if I’m not running their campaigns. I wait for the phone to ring, guess I can do that.

 

MICHAEL

 

I was able to finish work without getting in trouble, my boss even told me that I still had a chance for the promotion. I just had to show him I wasn’t going to flake out again. I put Brian out of my mind for now, I wanted to be able to tell everyone I got the job.

 

On my way home I call Emmett to tell him about the key and Brian fucking the twink. I can’t believe he said he was going to marry that kid someday. Maybe he was still high this morning.

 

“Hey Michael, you on your way home?” Emmett asks me.

 

“Yeah, Brian wasn’t really pissed about the Jeep.” I tell him.

 

“You escaped the wrath of Kinney, good work. He would never really be mad at you for long.” Emmett tells me.

 

“He changed his locks and codes, now I don’t have a way to get in the loft.” I tell Emmett.

 

“Why do you need one? I mean unless he’s there you don’t need to be there.” Emmett tells me.

 

“I just always had one, it’s like he doesn’t want me to come over.” I tell Emmett.

 

EMMETT

 

You know when you want to roll your eyes at someone, this is why.

 

“I don’t think that’s the reason, Michael. He doesn’t come over our apartment and hang out if we aren’t there, why should you be allowed to do the same thing to him?” I ask Michael.

 

“I take care of him, you know like when he’s too drunk to drive home.” He tells me.

 

“Once again he would be with you. Hence no need for you to have a key.” I tell him. It’s like you have to keep repeating everything to get it through the rocks that are cluttering his brain.

 

“What if he needs me to pick something up for him at the loft? I can’t get in if I don’t have a key.” Michael tries to give me a reason for invading Brian’s life.

 

“How many times has that happened, Michael?” I ask him.

 

“It hasn’t, but it could.” He tells me.

 

“Then he would give you a key to get in. You don’t need a key to Brian’s loft.” I want to bang my head against the wall.

 

“I’ll think I’ll go see Ma.” Michael tells me. I wait for him to hang up and look at Brian.

 

“Pissed I won’t give him a key?” Brian asks me.

 

“Well, if he ever figures out I have one now, I might have to move to another planet.” I tell Brian.

 

“I know you're not going to use it unless you have to.” Brian tells me.

 

“Why not Ted or someone other than me?” Brian and I don’t always get along, so him giving me a key is strange.

 

“Like I said you aren’t going to do anything stupid with it. Ted is in love with Mikey, he would do anything that made Mikey happy.” Brian tells me.

 

“Yeah, I can see that, but don’t you dare tell Michael or Lindsay about this, I want to be able to have peace. If they find out, I’ll spend all my time fielding the phone calls from Lindsay and Michael whining in my ear about it.” I tell him. Brian smiles and tells me good luck. 

 

I stood at the door and tried to figure him out. It’s like Peter Pan left Neverland and forgot lost boy Michael and his Wendy, Lindsay.

 

 

 

 

BRIAN

 

You know one of the things that always bothered me in this life. Well a lot of things did, but this one was the one I still can’t figure out. I was suppose to sign my rights away, right. Why did I need to provide life insurance on a kid that wasn’t supposed to be my responsibility? I look back now and see it was a power play, but who was the power behind it? I always wanted to believe it was Mel, but you know, to her it would be telling me Gus was my child, not hers. I guess Wendy was pulling the strings and we were the puppets. Well they aren’t going to like the new string I’m going to add.

 

“A million dollars, why do I have to provide the insurance policy?” I look at Lindsay. By the way Big Guy, this isn’t going to go as planned.

 

“We want to make sure our son is provided for.” Lindsay tells me.

 

“Our child? You mean yours and Mel’s or am I now a father, you know, with visitation and privileges?” I ask them.

 

“Brian, we are the parents.” Mel tells me.

 

“Then what am I?” I ask her.

 

“The sperm donor.” Mel tells me.

 

“The donor with rights?” I ask again. 

 

“Brian we are going to be the custodial parents, we are the ones responsible for Gus.” Mel spells out.

 

“Good to know, then explain to me again why am I providing life insurance for your child?” I figure I’ll keep asking till they can give me a real answer.

 

“You told me you wanted to help us.” Lindsay tells me. Seems like Wendy thought this up.

 

“I don’t have a problem with providing Gus with his needs. What I want to know is why is it my responsibility to provide life insurance on a child that you and Mel are supposed to fully support? One that I have absolutely no rights to?” I ask again. Jesus, it’s like Michael is here and not on his hetero date, which I made love sick Ted drive him to.

 

“Brian, I wanted to make sure if something happened to you, Gus isn’t left out.” Lindsay tells me. Guess I found out who was behind this.

 

“I can agree to a policy, but I want to change the person who holds it for Gus until he’s eighteen.” I tell them. I have a feeling Lindsay isn’t going to like this.

 

“Who, Michael? Brian he isn’t the person you want holding onto Gus’s money.” Lindsay tells me.

 

“I wouldn’t do that to either of you. It’s not like Michael is going to be the father figure, after I’m gone. I have someone else in mind. I just need to talk to him about it.” I tell them.

 

“What is wrong with me being the one?” Lindsay asks me.

 

“Nothing, I just don’t see why you need to be the one. I plan to live a long life, so most likely Gus won’t need a trustee.” I tell them.

 

“You're willing to do it?” Mel asks me.

 

“Of course, it’s Gus who’s important. You’re providing him with policies too, right?” I ask them.

 

“With your policy he will be provided for, why would he need us to have policies?” Lindsay asks me.

 

“Because as Gus’s mommies, should you be the ones with the policies. I mean Mel loves to point out that I’m nothing but the sperm that hit the egg. You told me that you and Mel were going to be his parents, where exactly does that relieve you of your financial responsibility?” I really love knowing things.

 

“We’ll be supporting him, while he grows up.” Mel tells me.

 

“So you're not going to provide your child with a life insurance policy Mel?” I ask her.

 

“I can’t, my policy goes to my family, they don’t allow me to put Lindsay on it.” Mel tells me. I know better than that, I had one for Justin, in case I died before him.

 

“Mel, it’s a beneficiary, anybody can be named, including Lindsay and Gus. It doesn’t have to be your family, try again and this time make it more believable.” I tell her.

 

“Lindsay felt it was something you would want to do for Gus.” Mel tells me. Glad to know who started this shit.

 

“You and Lindsay need to show me policies where you name Gus, and I’ll sign on the dotted line.” I tell them.

 

“Brian, we couldn’t get policies for that much.” Lindsay, or should I say the greedy bitch, tells me.

 

“We either all get policies for Gus, or you two are shit out of luck. If I sign that policy, and you don’t have one, I don’t sign my rights over to you.” I’m not going to anyway.

 

“I can’t believe what a selfish asshole you can be. He’s your son.” Mel sneers at me.

 

“I guess he’s my son when it’s convenient for you two. How am I being selfish, by asking you two to get policies too?” This is actually kind of fun.

 

“You're making a big deal out of taking care of Gus, what if you get sick?” Mel pulled that one out. Didn’t know if I would hear it, since I didn’t follow the last time.

 

“I’m just asking for us to be equal, why are you so resistant to it?” I ask Mel.

 

“I DON’T HAVE ANY RIGHTS TO GUS.” Mel yells. Gus starts to cry, I want to snatch him from Lindsay, she’s just staring at us. She needs to calm him.

 

“When I don’t sign this, is your next step baking cookies and trying to convince me to give up my rights?” I ask them. I know it was the trip to the hospital, but Mel isn’t going to keep holding this policy over me, when I want something.

 

“Brian, you already agreed to give up your rights to Mel.” Lindsay says it so sweetly.

 

“I did, but if I’m going to be the only person to have a policy, we need to change the agreement. I mean you know me, future AIDs patient.” I look at Mel.

 

“Look at your life Brian, it’s only a matter of time. You trick every night, with people you don’t even know. You're bound to fuck up.” Mel tells me.

 

“I’m always careful, and truthfully, I don’t think I’ll be doing that as much anymore.” I tell them.

 

“Please tell me you aren’t talking about that kid Justin.” Lindsay tells me.

 

“Why not, I think he’s the one.” I tell them.

 

“You mean the one right now.” Mel tells me. 

 

“No, I think he’s the one. I can see us buying a country manor, and getting away from this lifestyle.” I didn’t think Lindsay could turn that red.

 

“Brian, he’s a kid. If you're trying to distract us from the subject, knock it off.” Lindsay tells me.

 

“Brian, if you think Justin can be the trustee, he can’t, he is only seventeen.” Mel points out. Can you say pissed off munchers?

 

“No, I want Emmett in charge of the policy.” I tell them.

 

“Why Emmett, Brian are you trying to say you don’t trust us?” Lindsay asks me.

 

“I’m saying that if I take out the policy, I choose the trustee. It’s not like either of you are going to name me on your policies.” I tell them.

 

“We’re not planning on getting policies, yours will take care of him.” Mel tells me.

 

“Well, I guess you two better come up with another plan. I will provide a policy but with the person I want on it. You two can do the same. I also want to talk to my lawyer about the adoption. I want to retain rights to MY SON.” I tell them.

 

“Brian, we need to think about this, can we talk about it this weekend?” Lindsay asks me.

 

“Nope, I have a date for the weekend. I want to take Justin on a trip.” I just wanted to see Lindsay freak out.

 

“Brian, what the hell are you doing? You just met him.” Lindsey is staring at me, like she wants to read my mind.

 

“Guys are different, we meet, we fuck, and we move in eventually. We don’t need to throw parties to tell everyone.” I tell them.

 

“He isn’t moving in with you. Do you understand me?” Lindsay commands me.

 

“Why do you think you get an opinion on this?” I ask her.

 

“Brian go fuck someone and get this stupid idea out of your system.” Lindsay gets up and leaves the room with Gus. She was almost running out of the room. Mel and I watch her.

 

“Brian, I have to go check on her, can we do this another day?” Mel asks me.

 

I shrug and turn to walk out of the living room. I get to the door and hear Mel say, “Brian Kinney in a relationship, didn’t think I would ever live to see that.” 

 

“Brian Kinney isn’t going to play Peter to Wendy anymore either.” I tell her. She nods and I walk out of the house. I think Mel and I just came to an understanding.

 

I look at the time, shit, I missed Woody’s. I guess I can go home and wait for him. My phone rings and Michael is calling me.

 

“Where are you, that kid is here.” Michael tells me.

 

“Just left Mel and Lindsay’s, tell him to come to the loft.” I tell him.

 

“Fuck, I’ll handle it for you.” Michael tells me and hangs up. What does he think he’s going to do? I tried calling him back and he didn’t answer. I don’t know what they did after I left that night. I just know Justin ended up coming to my loft. I guess I can wait for him. I also want to know what Michael said to him.

 

I waited a couple hours, then finally there was a knock on the door. I open it to see him standing there. He looks nervous, I grab his arm and drag him in. 

 

“Hey, I just wanted to see you.” Justin tells me.

 

“Can we fuck and then talk?” I ask him.

 

Justin smiles and we head to the bedroom. 

BRIAN

 

Looking at the clock, I know it’s almost time to send Justin home. It was different with younger Justin, we weren’t as connected as we become later. Not that it was bad, it was just different. My Justin would have been cocky afterwards, he knew he was good. This Justin is still trying to make sure I was happy with him.

 

“I’d like to go again, but you have to get home, I assume.” I tell him. Justin looks at the time, and nods.

 

“Can I ask you a question?” He asks me.

 

“Anything you want.” I tell him.

 

“It’s just, well last night we were all over each other, and tonight it was like you were holding back.” Justin tells me. Shit, he was living the new memories.

 

“I wasn’t holding back, it’s just that doing it twice in two nights, you could get a little sore since you aren’t used to it. I didn’t want to hurt you.” It’s true, but that wasn’t the reason.

 

“Oh, well it was great anyway. I guess I better get home.” Justin tells me. 

 

“Before you go, where were you all night? Michael called and told me he saw you, and I told him to tell you to come here.” What did my best friend say about me?

 

“At first he seemed really nice, but if your friends always talk about you like that, you need new friends.” Justin tells me.

 

“What did he say to you?” I ask him.

 

“I met his mom, she’s nuts.” Justin tells me.

 

“What did Michael say to you? I just want to correct any misconceptions.” I tell him.

 

“He said you don’t do boyfriends, that you're a selfish prick who doesn’t care for anybody but yourself. He said I should just forget about you. I think I pissed him off, before I left.” Justin tells me.

 

“What did you say to him?” I ask. I know Justin well enough to know he wouldn’t have just walked away without a parting shot.

 

“I asked him why he was friends with you if you're such a selfish prick. And I might have told him that he was still waiting for you to finish jerking him off.” Justin smirks. There’s my Sunshine.

 

 

“Yes, I can be a selfish prick, but you're not going to have to worry about it. As for boyfriends, never had one, maybe you can be the first? When we get to know each other better. Another thing, I need you to understand that unless I tell you I don’t want you around, then just assume I do.” I tell him. 

 

“You want to see me again?” Justin asks me.

 

“I want to see you all next weekend. Think you could get your friend Daphne to cover for you?” I ask him.

 

“My parents wanted us to go to my grandmother’s house for the weekend. I could tell them I have a school project to do with Daphne, I guess.” Justin tells me.

 

“Ever been snowboarding in Vermont?” I ask him.

 

“No. Is that where you want to go?” He asks me.

 

“Yeah, I’ll make the plans, can you meet me at my office, on Friday after you get out of school?” I ask him.

 

“I can get out earlier if you want me too. My mom already asked the school to let me out at noon.” Justin tells me. 

 

“Then meet me here at one. If you want to bring your stuff over earlier, I’ll give you a key so you can get in.” I tell him.

 

I hand Justin his key as he gets up to leave. I wanted to tell him to stay, but I was told he had to go home. We stand at the door and I look in his eyes, I wanted to see if Justin was there. He leans up and kisses me, then turns and runs down the stairs. At least we are going this weekend. I went to my computer to confirm the reservations and I see the invitation. The one I ignored the last time, I guess I need to talk to the girls before I go. I need to get to Emmett first too.

 

It wasn’t late, so I called Emmett. “Is there some reason you're calling me and not Michael?” Emmett asks me. 

 

“Are you still at Babylon?” I ask him.

 

“I was going to leave, it’s like troll night.” Emmett tells me.

 

“So I guess Ted got a date?” I have to at least try to sound normal.

 

“Leave Teddy alone. What do you want Kinney? If you’re looking for your bestie, he didn’t come tonight. I think he was babysitting the kid from the other night.” Emmett tells me.

 

“I was looking for you, can you come over, and don’t tell anyone you’re coming?” I don’t want Ted here, he’d call Michael.

 

“Why do I feel like you're going to fuck me over, like with the key?” Emmett sighs.

 

“Emmett just get over here, stop being a queen.” I tell him. Emmett tells me he’ll be over as soon as he can get a cab. 

 

I want Emmett to be in charge because Justin is too young. I know Emmett well enough to know that he would take care of my son. Emmett was me if I was more nelly, less of an asshole, and okay, I just trust him to make the right decisions. Emmett arrives looking warily at me.

 

“I just need to get you to agree to be a trustee on a life insurance policy for Gus.” I tell him. What did he think I was going to ask him?

 

“Oh thank God, You were all don’t tell anyone, and come over. I was psyching myself to turn you down tonight.” Emmett tells me. Where the hell did he even come up with that? All I did was give him a key to the loft and ask him to come over tonight, okay I can give him this one. It did sound like a hook up.

 

“Like you would turn me down, if I wanted to fuck you, you’d be on your knees.” I tell him.

 

“No, I’d prefer to not become one of the many. I like being the only guy who would turn you down.” Emmett tells me.

 

Now that is just insulting. I never tried with Emmett because he was friends with Michael. We’ll see about that. I slowly walk up to him and watch as his eyes widen. Meet the predator, my friend. I walk around him and make sure to look at every inch of him, like that bulge didn’t tell me he wanted to fuck. From behind him I slip my hands down his arms and whisper in his ear. Sorry no one get’s to know what I say to get them on their knees. Emmett starts to give in. I lick his ear and tell him, “I told you I could get you to want to be on your knees.”

 

“Jesus, Brian, don’t do that. It’s like being full body fucked.” Emmett fans himself. I smirk.

 

“Now that we have established you have no will power against me, can I explain why I asked you to come over?” I tell him.

 

“Can I have a drink, and maybe a number for a trick?” Emmett asks me.

 

“Yes to the drink, but I don’t keep numbers.” I tell him.

 

We sit down and I tell him about Lindsay and the policy. Emmett actually looks like he wants to defend me. 

 

“Why are they asking you to do that? That’s really fucked up. They were the ones who kept telling you they were going to be the parents. You weren’t even going to be a part of Gus’s life as anything but a friend of Lindsay’s.” Emmett tells me.

 

“I handled it, but I need you to be the trustee. If something happens, it means they have to come to you to use any of the money.” I tell Emmett.

 

“Brian, thank you for the trust, but wouldn’t someone like Ted make more sense. He could increase the money throughout Gus’s life.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Then you ask Ted to help you. I want you because you can see through bullshit. They aren’t going to be able to pull we need it for Gus and then go out and buy something for JR.” I tell him.

 

“I get you what you mean about the girls and if you need me to do it, I will. But could you explain the JR thing?” Emmett asks me.  

 

“I meant Junior, you know if they ever decided to have another kid.” I tell him. I hate that no one knows the future but me.

 

“Brian, give Gus a chance to be more than a few days old before making them mothers again.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Also, I need you to make sure that at the party they have this weekend for Gus, they don’t circumcise him. If they try, you get him away from the butchers.” I tell Emmett.

 

“Like they’re going to listen to me.” Emmett tells me.

 

“I’m going to talk to them, but you let them know the policy will be shredded if they cut anything off of Gus.” I tell him.

 

“Why can’t you be there?” Emmett asks me.

 

“I’m taking Justin to Vermont for the weekend.” I tell him.

 

“Justin, the kid from last night?” Emmett stares at me.

 

“Yes, I have plans to spend the weekend with him. I wanted to get away from the family. Last thing I need is for him to be told what a selfish prick I am. You know, like my best friend apparently tells people.” I tell him.

 

“Michael told Justin that?” Emmett asks me.

 

“I guess you learn all sorts of things that your friends think, when they don’t have to say it to your face.” I tell Emmett.

 

Emmett tells me he’ll do his best, I tell him to make sure they know he will call me. Mel and I are going to come to an understanding in the morning.

 

EMMETT

 

I’m not sure what the hell is going on, but shit, Kinney can work it. Wait, stop thinking that Emmett, bad Emmett, BAD EMMETT. 

 

Why is he suddenly making me the keeper of Kinney World? I know Michael usually holds the title, but lately it’s like Brian is trying to change everything about his life. Brian Kinney planning a trip to Vermont with a guy. I almost want to read the Bible and check if this is one of the signs of the apocalypse. Although if I was a top, Justin would definitely be on my list. That kid was adorable, I can see why Brian wanted him. Michael tried to get us to agree he wasn’t hot. Ted agreed with Michael. I told Ted he was looking at the kid like he was Ted’s last meal. I really wish he wouldn’t kiss Michael’s ass, maybe he would get over Michael if he meet a twink of his own. 

 

I have to say, Brian trusting me feels really good. Good enough that I need a donut. I walk to the diner and see Michael and Ted sitting in a booth. Is a donut worth listening to Michael complain that he doesn’t have a key to Brian’s loft? No, I think I can skip the love fest and go home.

 

 

BRIAN 

 

I'm sitting here trying to decide if foreskin is worth this much trouble. It just felt like they were trying to change him, but fuck Mel is almost demonic about this.

 

“It’s not barbaric, I just want something in common with Gus.” She tells me.

 

“Mel, when did you get circumcised?” I ask her. 

 

“I'm talking about being Jewish.” She tells me. 

 

“You don’t even practice Judaism. Cutting the kid’s dick isn't going to bring you any closer to Gus.” I tell her. 

 

“My family is going to be there, I want them to accept Gus.” She tells me. 

 

“They don't even accept you, why are you still trying to win them over? I have to say, it’s shitty to use Gus to do it with.” I tell her. 

 

“I'm not using Gus. It's just part of the ceremony. What I want to know is why you're suddenly trying to play daddy?” She asks me. 

 

“Whether you like it or not, I will always be his father. Why did you agree to use me, if you wanted Gus to not know his father?” I ask her. 

“I didn’t want you, but Lindsay wouldn’t budge on it. I wanted to go with a sperm bank.” She tells me. 

 

“Good luck getting money out of a vial.” I sneer. What was she going to do run back to the sperm bank and tell them the donor needed to pay for a life insurance policy?

 

“I knew I should have talked her out of that policy.” Mel tells me. 

 

“I'm over that, I just want you to understand I won't give you two permission to circumcise Gus. I talked to a lawyer this morning and as it stands, I'm legally Gus’s dad. Which means if I say no it means no.” I tell her. 

 

“Brian, we agreed you would sign over your rights.” She tells me. 

 

“He wasn't real yet, sorry but it’s not going to happen. We can get an agreement that you are one of his legal guardians, which means you have the right to do things for Gus. I trust you to have his best interests, but I refuse to have you and Lindsay making conditions on my involvement in Gus’s life.” I tell her. 

 

“Do you honestly think we would do that?” She asks me. 

 

“It's already started, no one called me to tell me about the Bris. You decided to do it and I was sent an invitation. If I hadn’t looked it up, I would have found out at the party that you were going to circumcise Gus. I think that body mods should be up to the person who is getting them to decide, Gus can’t tell you no, so I am.” I tell her. 

 

“Brian, can't you understand, my family barely tolerates my lifestyle. If we have the Bris, at least they would see I didn’t turn my back on everything.” She tells me. 

 

“Why does Gus have to be the one to make you more acceptable? You said it was for Gus but all I hear is ‘Mel’.” I tell her. 

 

“Fine, have it your way, but you get to explain it to Lindsay. I should have fought harder to keep you from being his Goddamn father, then I could have made decisions for my child.” She tells me. 

 

“It’s not about you, can't you get that through your head? I want Gus to be able to make his own decisions on what is done to him.” I tell her. 

 

“Keep telling yourself that, you selfish asshole.” Mel gets up and leaves my office. Selfish, I think she had that backwards. That went well, guess we are still enemies. 

 

JUSTIN 

 

Daphne agreed to cover for me this weekend. I wanted to pack and take it to Brian’s loft today. My mom is out shopping, so I won't have to think of a reason for packing. Daphne and I drive to the loft, she is more excited than I am.

 

“Will I get to meet Brian? You know, the face of God.” She teases me.

 

“He is probably at work, and please don't say that in front of him.” I tell her. 

 

“You know I wouldn't do that to you. I can't believe he asked you to spend the weekend with him.” She tells me. 

 

“I think I'm in love with him.” I tell her. 

 

“Have you told him?” She asks me. 

 

“It's weird, it seems like we told each other, but then it's fuzzy. Like I dreamed it. He did say he wanted to try a relationship, that has to mean something.” I tell her. 

 

“It means you get to have fun and I have to wait for details.” She tells me. 

 

We pull up to the loft and go in, it's strange to be here without Brian. Daphne starts looking around. I put my bag on the bed, that way Brian knows I came by. We were just about to leave when Brian opens the door. I smile at him, fuck he looks good.

 

“Good Afternoon Sunshine.” Brian tells me.  Did I tell him Michael’s mom called me that? 

 

“Hey, I wanted to drop off my bag. Although seeing you isn’t a hardship.” I tell him. 

 

Brian walks over and leans down to kiss me. I wanted to repeat the last two nights, but Daphne is here. I peck him and turn his head, so he can see we have company. 

 

“Hi there gorgeous, helping Justin escape from the parents?” He smiles at her.

 

“Um yeah, I mean, you know. Damn it why are you gay?” My flustered best friend says.

 

“I'd make an exception for you, but unfortunately I have the hots for your best friend. “ Brian jokes.

 

“Man, just my luck. Hot guy wants you.” She tells me. 

 

“Tell you what, next hot guy is yours.” I tell her. 

 

“You two want to stay and have dinner? I need to get to know your best friend. If you're hungry.” Brian tells me. 

 

“Hello, have you done anything but screw? Justin is always hungry.” Daphne tells him. 

 

“Thai sound good?” Brian asks us.

 

We agree and Brian drags me with him to the bedroom. “Daphne, I need to take a shower and your best friend needs to help with those hard to reach places. Can you get the door, if the food comes?” Brian asks her. God she's blushing, but so am I.

 

“Just hurry.” She tells him. 

 

Brian starts taking off his shirt, I just have to touch him. I run my hands down his chest, and lick his nipple. We were kissing as he backed us into the bathroom. I start taking off my shirt and Brian reaches for my pants. He lowers them slowly, kneeling and kissing my thighs until he reaches my cock. I watch as he nips the end and then takes it into his mouth. Oh fuck, I don't want this to end too soon. He slides his hands up my chest and offers me his fingers. I suck them in my mouth, I know what he wants to do. He removes them from my mouth and his hand travels down my back to my crease. I feel him massaging around my entrance, then he inserts the first finger. I don't want to cum yet, but it feels too good. He keeps attention on my cock and breaches me with another finger. I can feel him stretching me. Brian backs off and leads me in the shower, we are all over each other. I need him to fuck me, he turns me and grabs the condom and lube. I feel him putting his fingers back to lube my entrance. Then I feel nothing but his cock. He starts slowly, he turns my face to kiss me as he pushes in. I want to scream “faster”. Brian must have known because he speeds up. I was squeezing his hips and moving back to meet each thrust. I was almost there when he rubs against the nerves that drive me out of my mind, I was moaning loudly as my cum spurted all over the shower. Brian speeds up even more, until he finally cums. He holds us together for a moment. I was glad, if he hadn’t I would have landed on the floor.

 

“I have always fucking loved you.” I hear him say.

 

“Of course you have, I always knew that.” I tell him. Brian pulls out and turns me around.

 

“Justin?” Brian says as he looks in my eyes.

 

BRIAN 

 

I was in that hazy moment where I forgot who was here with me. So I said the one thing that came to my mind. “I have always fucking loved you.”

 

“Of course you have, I always knew that.” I hear him say. It wasn’t the young, unsure kid, it was my Justin. I turned him, I needed to see his eyes.

 

“Justin?” I say as I stare into my soulmate’s eyes.

 

“Mr Kinney.” The twat says, smirking.

 

“Don’t, just tell me you're really here.” I tell him.

 

“I promise, I’m really here.” Justin tells me. 

 

“For good?” I ask him. He nods. “How?”

 

“You waited five years to say it the first time, Vic told me they wanted you to prove you really wanted us.” He tells me.

 

“I said it the first night.” I tell him. 

 

“You said it to me, not to the kid you yanked around for five years.” He tells me. 

 

“You knew, I just couldn't say it then.” I tell him. I need him to tell me he knew again.

 

“Brian, we’ve been in love for centuries. You just took forever this time.” Justin jokes.

 

“I thought I had to wait till this weekend. Marilyn is going to hear it from me.” I smile.

 

“No, they played you, they both said ‘by Vermont’. So they weren’t lying, just not telling you the whole truth.” Justin tells me. 

 

“You know, I'm just too fucking happy right now to care. I don't want you to go back to your parent’s house.” I tell him. 

 

“I have to, but I promise to be here all the time.” Justin tells me. “We only have to wait till my dad finds out.”

 

“How can you want to be there, knowing what that asshole does to you?” I ask him. 

 

“The same way you put up with the shit from your friends. It just has to happen.” He tells me. 

 

“We need to go eat, and you're staying tonight. I need to wake up and know you’re still here.” I tell him. 

 

“I'll just tell my mom I'm at Daphne’s house.” Justin tells me. I kiss my Justin again and we start dressing each other between kissing.  

 

I wasn’t ready to let him go but I could hear voices out in the loft. Justin’s stomach also let me know it was time to feed the beast. We walk out to hear Michael questioning Daphne being in the loft. Really Big Guy, one fantastic thing and now we have to deal with Michael? I look up, no answer, not that I expected one.

 

“Why are you here?” Michael questions Daphne. 

 

“I was invited, can you say the same?” I love this girl.

 

“This is my best friend’s loft, Brian Kinney. Maybe you have the wrong place.” Michael tells her.

 

“Look dude you have repeatedly said he's your best friend, and I'm glad you cleared that up, but let me repeat back to you slowly, I...WAS...INVITED. Did you understand the words or do I need to keep saying them. You know, I know three year olds who seem to grasp English better than you do.” Daphne tells him. 

 

“My best friend doesn’t hang out with little girls” Michael tells her.

 

“No but apparently he hangs out with grown men who act like little boys.” Daphne tells him.

 

Justin and I are trying hard not to laugh at Mikey getting his ass handed to him by Daphne. Michael never did learn that Daphne could cut you down to size.

 

“You need to go, before Brian finds you here. He can be a real dick when people show up unannounced.” Michael tells her.

 

“Maybe since I was already here in the loft, you might want to rethink that statement. You know the door you had to buzz and knock on to get in. Me, I got in with a key and code.” She tells him. 

 

“How did you get a key?” Was that all Michael heard?

 

“Let’s see, the guy dating your ‘best friend’ had a copy that was given to him by your ‘best friend’. Are you seeing the trend? Or do I need to say it in French, Spanish or Latin, I speak them all.” She tells him.

 

“Brian doesn’t date, so you need to tell the trick to go with you.” Michael tells her.

 

Daphne looks at us as we come out of the bedroom, I almost want to apologize for Michael. I can’t though because it would ruin her fun.

 

“Justin, I think you need to break up with Brian. I can’t be in the same room with this idiot. I might have to toss him down the stairs.” She tells us.

 

Michael turns to see Justin and me. He stares at our joined hands. “I thought I told you to find someone else.” Michael tells Justin.

 

“I thought I told you to stop dreaming about an unfinished hand job.” Justin tells Michael.

 

Michael turns red and there go the arms. Now for the puppy dog eyes and the pout. It never really changed no matter how old we got. 

 

“Brian can we talk alone.” Michael tells me. He sure wasn’t asking.

 

“No we can’t, Justin, Daphne, and I are having dinner. I’d invite you but we only ordered for three.” I tell him.

 

“I need to talk to you. They can wait outside.” Michael tells me. The delivery guy is standing there watching like it’s a movie.

 

“Justin is hungry and we are going to eat. We can talk tomorrow, because that is the only way you and I are going to have a conversation. Just a warning, your opinion isn’t going to matter to me.” I tell Michael.

 

“Brian, as your friend…” Michael starts, only Daphne interrupts.

 

“You know a real friend doesn’t call his best friend a selfish prick, just saying.” She tells Michael.

 

“Brian, I meant about men. Did that twink tell you that?” Michael asks me.

 

“Did you say it? That seems to be the more important part, best friend.” I look at Michael.

 

Instead of answering Michael turns and leaves. The delivery guy hands us the food and I tip him. He tells me the tip was listening to Daphne and winks at her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRIAN 

 

It was hard to sleep. I kept wanting to wake Justin up, to make sure he stayed, but instead I waited for him to wake up. One look and I knew he was still there. My Justin.

 

We were back in sync with each other. Justin wandered into the shower and waited for me. We had our morning shower sex and started getting ready for the day. It was hard to drop him off at St James, I know what happens to him in that school. Justin assured me he could handle it. It helped that he knew what he was walking into, this time.

 

Michael texted instead of calling, guess he's still trying to think of a way out of what he said. Justin was going to go home from school, he said his mother was starting to realize he was gay, so they were going to be dealing with her inability to understand Craig was a dick, one who didn't want a gay son. I decided that Michael could meet me at the diner tonight, if he still thinks I care what he thinks. I texted it to him, he asked if we could meet at Deb’s house. Guess he is staging an intervention. Good luck, if he thinks I care. Well, I guess I’ll be taking Justin with me to the meeting.

 

MICHAEL 

 

I got to my apartment and everything felt wrong. Brian letting the trick’s friend mouth off, and then telling ME to leave. What's with all the changes lately? I wanted to talk to Ma, but I had to wait till this morning. 

 

“Baby, what's crawled up your ass this morning?” She asks me. “or should I say what did Brian do now?”

 

“I just don’t understand him lately. First he is acting like an asshole, all last month. Instead of spending time with me, he was always busy. Then he started acting like himself again, until he met that kid.” I tell her.

 

“What kid, Sunshine?” She asks me.

 

“Yeah, he took him home with him the night Gus was born and he’s actually been seeing him. I found out they’re planning a trip to Vermont this weekend. What the hell, Brian doesn’t do that.” I tell her.

 

“Maybe he really likes the kid. He’s young, but he seemed really sweet.” She tells me.

 

“He changed his locks and codes, if I want to go over there, I have to be let in.” I complain to Ma.

 

“Michael, why do you need a key? I never understood that. I mean you don’t go over there unless he’s home, so he can let you in.” Ma doesn’t get it. Brian would have wanted me to have the key.

 

 

“It’s just something he always let me and Lindsay have. Ma, he acts like he’s in love with the kid.” I tell her.

 

“If he is, that’s his business Michael.” Uncle Vic tells me as he sits down.

 

“Brian doesn’t do boyfriends, Vic.” I tell him.

 

“Michael, it’s time for you to face the fact that Brian might be ready for a relationship. This kid might be who he wants. It’s not about you.” Vic tells me.

 

“Vic, Brian always takes care of Michael. Even if he’s in a relationship with someone else at the moment, he still needs to be there for Michael.” Ma tells Vic.

 

“Why, aren’t you old enough to start running your own life Michael?” Uncle Vic asks me.

 

“It doesn’t mean my best friend can abandon our friendship.” I tell him.

 

“It also doesn’t mean he has to live his life according to you and your mother.” Uncle Vic tells me.

 

“He told me we could talk today. He’d better be ready to explain to me why he is acting like this kid is more important to him than I am.” I tell them.

 

“Brian shouldn’t have to explain his choices to you. You need to understand that being his best friend doesn’t make you the keeper of his soul.” Uncle Vic tells me.

 

“Maybe we should all talk to him.” Ma tells us. Uncle Vic rolls his eyes at Ma. 

 

“You know we should call everyone and have them meet at Ma’s. Brian can’t ignore everyone.” I decide that’s what we’re going to do. I get up and start calling everyone. 

 

VIC

 

I can’t figure out why all these people think they get to voice their opinion on Brian’s life. If I was him, I’d turn around and leave the minute he see them sitting there waiting. I only stayed to try to be the voice of reason, but I think that left the building as soon as Michael and Lindsay started talking to each other. Emmett seems to be staying out of it. Ted would, but he’s still pining for Michael, hopefully that will end soon. Listening to Lindsay and Michael, you would think they were Brian’s partner, not this kid everyone is talking about.

 

“Brian let this kid’s friend talk to me like I was in the wrong.” Michael tells Lindsay. I look to see how Deb is taking this. Shit this is going to be a mess. Deb is in ‘Michael can do no wrong mode.’

 

“Emmett, did he tell you he ordered Mel not to have the Bris?” Lindsay looks at Emmett.

 

“We talked about it.” Emmett tells her.

 

“Did you tell him, he shouldn’t be telling us how to raise Gus?” Lindsay asks Emmett. It sounds more like she is trying to tell him what to think.

 

“No, but I did wonder why you and Mel asked him to get a life insurance policy.” Emmett tells her.

 

“Brian told them he would help them. It’s not like it’s a big deal.” Michael tells Emmett.

 

“I just think if Lindsay and Mel are so insistent that Brian isn’t going to have any say in Gus’s life, then they shouldn’t be asking for financial support.” Emmett looks at the girls. Interesting they did that, I have to agree with Emmett.

 

“Look we’re here to talk to Brian about the kid he is suddenly running around with.” Lindsay tells us. Mel seems to be looking anywhere but Lindsay.

 

“Brian should explain to Michael why he’s treating him badly. Vic, he kicked Michael out last night.” Deb tells me. I had so much hope when she agreed Michael didn’t need a key to Brian’s loft.

 

“He also needs to explain why he wants Emmett on the policy.” Lindsay tells us. Why does that matter to her? Didn’t she just say we weren’t here to talk about that?

 

“I just want my best friend to stop acting like he’s been abducted by Morphisto.” Michael tells us. 

 

“Did you say my fist?” Deb asks Michael.

 

“No MORPHISTO, the villain from Captain Astro.” Michael tells her. I can’t believe they think they can talk sense into anyone.

 

I hear the Jeep pull up and wait for the group to descend on Brian like locusts. We sit and wait for him to come in, and wait. I hear Brian whispering to someone. Deb gets impatient and opens the door. I have to say from behind the kid has my attention. 

 

“Can you at least come in the house before you fuck Sunshine?” Deb asks Brian.

 

“I think we’d have a better time out here Deb.” Brian tells her.

 

“Get your ass in the house.” Deb pulls Sunshine in, knowing Brian will have to follow if he wants Sunshine.

 

“Hi Deb, nice to see you again.” The kid tells her. Maybe someone will tell us his name.

 

“You too sweetie, everyone this is Sunshine.” Deb smiles at him. 

 

“Most people call me Justin.” Justin tells us. 

 

“Isn’t he adorable? Don’t let Brian treat you like shit.” Deb tells Justin.

 

“Justin can handle me.” Brian tells her.

 

“Brian, can we talk in the back?” Lindsay asks Brian.

 

“No, I think it’s time everyone talks in front of the whole group. I don’t want to have any misunderstanding about what was said.” Brian tells her.

 

“Emmett, maybe you can take Justin outside.” Michael tells Emmett.

 

“No, I told you just two seconds ago, if you want to say something you say it in front of everyone. You can tell Justin I’m a selfish prick, but you can say it in front of me.” Brian tells them.

 

“Michael, why would you say that?” Deb asks him.

 

“I was just trying to help the kid. Brian is going to dump him, no matter what Brian thinks right now.” Michael tells everyone.

 

“Brian you shouldn’t lead him on. I’m sorry Justin but Michael is right, Brian isn’t someone you want a relationship with.” Lindsay tells Justin.

 

I watch Justin, he seems almost amused by them. He hasn’t said a word, he’s just watching them.

 

“Brian, you should be here this weekend, not on some trip with the kid. Mel and Lindsay were planning a party to celebrate Gus.” Michael tells Brian.

 

“You mean the Bris. Do you know what a Bris is?” Brian asks Michael.

 

“Isn’t it like a baby welcoming party?” Michael needs to read something other than comics.

 

“No, it’s a party where all the adults stand around and we watch a Rabbi cut Gus’s dick.” Brian tells Michael.

 

“Why the hell are you two inviting people to see that?” Michael looks horrified.

 

“We aren’t now. God Kinney has spoken and we aren’t allowed to do anything unless he agrees to let us.” Mel bitches.

 

“Brian, why are you trying to ruin the party?” Lindsay turns on her charm. Justin stares at her like she is an amazing exhibit.

 

“Why are you all here? I came to listen to Michael tell me how to run my life. I planned on telling him to get a life. You can party all you want, just leave out the circumcision.” Brian tells them.

 

“Brian you really need to think about what you're doing. Justin might think you want more than you do.” Lindsay tells him.

 

“Hi, Lindsay, since we haven’t actually been properly introduced, I’m Justin Taylor. I just wanted to ask, why do you care what happens to me? I don’t know you and you don’t know me. You are acting like Brian is your husband and cheating on you. You do realize he’s gay, right?  Brian wanted me to meet you, since I like to paint, but if this is what I have to look forward to, I doubt you can get past my age and I couldn’t get past your entitlement issues.” Justin turns to Mel, “I assumed with being a lawyer, Mel, you could see this from all sides and help to come to a solution, one that is best for Gus. Do you think Brian wanting to protect a child, the one you three share, is a bad thing? I hope you’re a better person that that.” He turns to Michael and looks confused as he asks, “Michael, why are we here tonight?”  

 

I love the kid already. The three of them close their mouths, I think history has just been made. He needs to teach us all how to do that.

 

MICHAEL

 

Why is the kid talking? This is about my best friend treating me like he doesn’t care about me. I had to sit there trying to come up with why Brian needs to be here. Damn it, I had all these reasons but none that are going to sound like a reason. I decided to go with what I know.

 

“I wanted to know why Brian is acting like we aren’t friends. Brian and I have always been there for each other. You come along and suddenly he changes his locks and wants to run off for the weekend.” I tell Justin.

 

“I think the idea of you busting in on us is the reason Michael. I would hope if you were fucking someone you lock your doors.” Justin tells me. What do I say to that, I turn to Brian and Lindsay. I don’t have time to try to think of something the kid won’t argue with.

 

“You changed your locks? I hope you made extra keys.” Lindsay tells Brian.

 

“I did, the people who get them already have them.” Brian tells us.

 

“I didn’t get one.” Lindsay and I say at the same time.

 

“Why do you need one?” Brian asks Lindsay. Justin tilts his head and looks at me. Fuck, I’ll wait till I can speak to Brian alone.

 

“Because of Gus.” Lindsay tells him.

 

“Sorry to interrupt again, but because of Gus? I don’t understand.” Why is the kid talking, this is about us, not him.

 

“If I need to talk... to Brian... about Gus.” Lindsay stutters through that. 

 

“Then call him, no need for a key.” Emmett tells her. Why is Emmett helping Brian?

 

“What if Brian needs us to do something for him.” I point out. Emmett looks at me like he’s disappointed in me.

 

“Since Justin will probably be moving in soon, I’ll just call him.” Brian tells us.

 

“Brian he’s seventeen, he needs to live with his parents.” Ma tells Brian. Thank you Ma.

 

“His parents are going to kick him out for being gay, Deb.” Brian tells her.

 

“Is that true Sunshine?” Ma asks, when Justin nods. Ma offers, “He can live with me.” 

 

“Deb, he’s about to turn eighteen and I want him to live with me.” Brian tells her. 

 

“Where would he stay anyway? He’s not staying in my room.” I say to Ma.

 

“As entertaining as this has been, I have things to do to Justin tonight. Unless you have anything to add that would make this intervention make sense, we’re leaving.” Brian tells us.

 

“Brian, maybe we should all go with you guys this weekend.” I tell him. We could keep an eye on Brian.

 

“Later, and no don’t think about coming. Any of you.” Brian tells us.

 

They turn and walk out of the house holding hands, Lindsay gets up and runs after them. 

 

LINDSAY

 

He is not going to get away with this, he needs to explain to me why he’s taking a kid on a romantic getaway. I follow them out the door.

 

“Brian, we need to talk.” I tell him.

 

“Didn’t I just sit in a room and let you do that?” Brian asks me.

 

“You weren’t listening, or we would have resolved this.” I tell him.

 

“Resolved what? All I heard in there was you and Michael are butt hurt because I won’t do what you two decided was the right thing.” Brian tells me. Brian closes his door and starts the Jeep, I try to say something but he rolls up the window and leaves me standing there.

 

BRIAN

 

Justin is laughing like a hyena. “Calm down twat.” I tell him.

 

“Do you ever feel your IQ points dropping when they want to make a point.” He asks me.

 

“Was there even a point to that?” I ask him.

 

“I think they wanted you to assure them they were still important to you.” Justin tells me.

 

“I think we need to get the hell away from them.” I tell him.

 

“We leave tomorrow, you can deal with them for one more day.” Justin tells me.

 

“You enjoy the fact that they still don’t know you, don’t you?” I tell the twat.

 

“I have to say, watching them, knowing them the way I do, makes it more fun.” Justin smiles.

 

“You're still pissed at Lindsay, because unlike Mel and Michael, you practically wrote her off.” I tell him.

 

“Yes, but because no matter what way I look at it she was the catalyst. It all started with her. I just don’t know why.” Justin tells me. It’s something we can talk to Marilyn about, but we can wait till we get back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRIAN

 

It’s different when we can get away from the people in our lives. No one telling us their opinions, or trying to interfere. It gave Justin and I a chance to do what we want. I rented a cabin, with instructions that no one be told we were here. I wouldn't put it past the gang to try to join us.

 

When we arrived, there was a fire going and food waiting for us. Justin was grinning at the hot tub in the corner. I figured we could stay in all weekend. Snowboarding in theory sounds fun, but fucking on every available surface sounded better. Looking at Justin, I think we're on the same page.

 

“You aren’t planning on leaving this cabin at all this weekend, are you?” Justin asks me.

 

“If you want to climb a mountain or walk around the lake, we can.” I tell him

 

“Unless there is an Armani store at the top of the mountain, I don’t think you really want to do that.” The twat says.

 

“I want to look at the scenery, just the one that includes us naked for the weekend. We could give the other tourists a thrill.” I tell him.

 

Justin looks at the food and debates. It goes something along the lines of, food, fuck, food, maybe food first, but food and fucking yes. The fact that I can tell you this tells you how well I know my Justin. I think the fucking won, it could be because I fed him at the airport. 

 

Justin starts undressing and walks by the cheese and grabs some cubes. He eats them as he walks to the hot tub. Guess both won, I walk over and grab the tray, I want some quality time and Justin running back and forth isn’t going to work. I turn in time to see him wading in naked, guess it’s time for me to catch up. I set the tray down next to him, and run to my bag for supplies. Three or four should do, I can always call for a break if we run out. 

 

I finally get in the hot tub and Justin climbs on my lap. He starts kissing my neck and ear, I run my hands down his hips and around his ass. Justin grinds against me and I want to take him. I also want him to take ownership of me. I lift him up and set him on the other seat and start making love to him. Justin grabs my face and looks at me. He knows what I want from him. He starts sliding his hands around my back and lowers his fingers to my entrance. I feel him massaging around my opening and then he slips the tip in and out. I push back to get him to stop teasing me. Justin breaches me and begins to fuck me with his finger. He always goes for the bundle of nerves to get me hard as a rock. I can’t stop moaning as he slides his other finger in and begins stretching my entrance. I let him work on me, Justin can top as well as he bottoms. It starts to feel too good and Justin removes his hands and stands me up to sit on the edge of the tub. I lean back, I want to watch his dick take me. He grabs the lube and starts preparing himself and then he leans down and uses his tongue to lube me. I put my feet on the lip of the tub to give him more access. Justin lifts up and licks every inch of my cock, I love how limber he is. Justin leans across my body and starts to insert his cock into me. Fuck he’s big, I haven’t done this with anyone else, he was the first and last to have this honor. I stare at him as he starts a rhythm, watching Justin fuck is just as orgasmic as fucking him. He takes care of the person he’s with. He can tell when I need him to go faster or slower. Justin starts to move faster, he pushed my hand out of the way and jerks me off in time with each thrust. I can’t hold out any longer and I let go, releasing all over his chest and hand. Justin looks at me and starts moving even faster, it feels fantastic. I can feel him about to cum and wish we could do it raw, just to feel him inside me. His final thrust has him laying on top of me. I hold him and wonder why we didn’t do this more often.

 

“I like topping but I love being fucked by you too.” Justin tells me. 

 

“You’ve always been good at this.” I tell him.

 

“I learned from you.” Justin tells me.

 

Justin pulls out and we clean up. I want to hold My Justin, and enjoy the silence. Justin was the one person who could let me not talk and not ask me all the time why I wasn’t saying anything. It was nice not to spend an hour telling someone I just wanted to not think for a while, not discuss what was wrong in their world.

 

MICHAEL

 

After Brian and the twink left, Ma about screamed our ears off. She wasn’t happy to learn we were all trying to get rid of the kid. Well except for Emmett and Vic. 

 

“What kind of friend tells someone you’ve never met, that kind of crap about your best friend, Michael. You girls sit your asses back down, your next.” She tells them as they start to get up to leave. Why do I feel like a kid again?

 

“I’ve always warned away the tricks who think they are going to be the one who changes Brian.” I tell her. 

 

“You mean you're always trying to run the competition off.” Ma tells me.

 

“No, it was to help Brian.” I tell her.

 

“Michael, Brian isn’t going to love you the way you want. If he could he would have by now. You're hanging on to the idea of a relationship, and it is just that, an idea, it's holding you back from having a real one.” Ma tells me.

 

“It’s not about that, we’re…” Ma holds her hand up to cut me off.

 

 

“Best Friends, everyone knows Michael. It’s like the only way you seem to justify your actions when it comes to Brian. Son, he isn’t the man for you. Until you realize that you're never going to have a life of your own. I wish he could love you the way you want, but Michael it’s not going to happen. Stop pinning all your hopes on a never will and look for a could be.” Ma tells me.

 

I don’t believe that, but I also know right now I need to start trying to form relationships outside Brian. He is too busy with Justin right now to care about my feelings. I nod at Ma and hope when Brian is ready she’ll be more understanding.

 

“Now for you two, why are you asking Brian for anything?” Ma asks them.

 

“He told us he wanted to help. We were just offering him a way to do it.” Lindsay tells her. After listening to Emmett, I have to wonder why they are trying to get Brian to help them.

 

“So he’s only worth the money he gives you?” Ma asks them.

 

“No Deb, we just wanted Gus to be provided for.” Mel tells her.

 

“I know Brian can be an asshole, but never once has he denied any one of us help if we needed it. You two telling him, his death is the only thing he can give Gus, is sick.” Ma tells them.

 

“It wasn’t like that, Deb. I really think this isn’t any of your business.” Lindsay tells Ma. I want to run for cover, is she stupid?

 

“I helped raise Brian and watched his family shit all over him. I was the one who stitched him up and hid him when he needed to heal. So Lindsay, you being his friend, doesn’t mean a lot to me. I sat in this room and thought we need to talk to Brian about honoring his friendships, but now I want to apologize to him for thinking you two were really his friends. It saddens me that a seventeen year old kid, one that Brian just met, was able to see through all your bullshit, and don’t think we all didn’t notice not one of you could answer him. Mel what were you thinking? If you didn’t want Brian to father Gus, you should have grown some balls and told Lindsay no. You ran from the fight with her and allowed her to USE Brian. Where is the woman who stands in court and argues to win? I wanted answers from all of you, but you know, I changed my mind, until you can come to me with less selfish reasons, don’t talk. You each need to go home and think about who was being selfish, cause for once, it was you.” Ma tells us. She turns and walks in the kitchen. We all get up and hurry to leave before she says anything else. 

 

VIC

 

“Deb, what the hell was that?” I ask her, after they all run out the door.

 

“That was me watching my son and the girls trying to fuck Brian over. I know, I’m usually on Michael’s side of things, but I had to listen to the fact that my son insulted his best friend behind his back. Then instead of apologizing, he tries to justify himself. I thought I raised a kind, caring man.” Deb tells me. She is so disappointed in Michael.

 

“Deb, Michael is kind and caring, but he is also needy and in love with Brian. He isn’t going to handle Brian wanting someone else as more that a trick, well. Brian and I talked about this and we all need to let Michael grow up.” I tell her.

 

“How do we do that? He’s never going to believe Brian wants Sunshine.” Deb tells me.

 

“Let time do that for him. Be his mom, help him, but don’t try to make Brian responsible for your son’s mistakes.” I tell her.

 

My sister is growing up.

 

TED

 

I sat there listening to Deb and wanted to run from the room. Everything she described was me. I make excuses for Michael. I sit waiting for a relationship that is never going to happen. Instead of looking for someone, I sit with Michael all night, watching him pine for Brian. While I spend all the time telling him what a shit Brian is and that Michael deserves better. I can’t be Michael, waiting for something that is never going to happen. 

 

So goodbye Michael, the perfect lover, it’s time for me to find someone who can love me.

 

MEL

 

Did I really take the coward's way out by not fighting Lindsay? Was I just spouting bullshit at Brian just to be able say I got my way? What have I become, a battered housewife to Lindsay’s whims? She is alway telling me that she understands Brian in a way no one else can, but is that the only way she can make it through a day? Convincing herself that if Brian decided to marry someone it would be her? It’s what makes it hard for me to be civil to Brian, the idea that he could take Lindsay away if he wanted to. Or is that my way of dealing with the fact that my partner wants a gay man?

 

JUSTIN

 

Sitting in front of the fireplace, I stare at Brian sleeping with his head in my lap. Brian at rest is as beautiful as Brian in motion. I also know he isn’t sleeping because he wants to, they want him too.

 

 

“Vic, can’t we just have this weekend? I know we have to go back and deal with things.” I tell Vic.

 

“Justin, instead of trying to figure out what went wrong, get it right.” Vic tells me.

 

“You plan on telling that to Brian too? Someone fucked with my life Vic, they are as good as a murderer. I’ve waited forty years to get my life back. Sorry if everyone upstairs is running around trying to keep us from doing something you deem wrong. You want to know where I went before I came back? I talked to the one person who had all the answers, answers that you have been keeping from me. He wouldn’t tell me why it happened, just that I have free will. I think that means that I can change my life and you really don’t have any say in it.” I tell him.

 

“We are just trying to help Justin.” Vic tells me. I know he is, but his way isn’t always the right way.

 

“Then help by standing by us, not showing up to warn us everytime we step outside the lines.” I tell him. Vic and I stare at each other and he nods. “Thank you for understanding. Half the problems Brian and I had were from people butting in everywhere.” I tell him.

 

I watch as Vic disappears and turn to look at the fire again. Why was Lindsay so insistent I go to New York? It seemed like she was constantly pushing me at Brian, and suddenly it was her trying to tear us apart. She tried to make it sound like I was settling for Brian. She got Brian to believe I was, it’s when we started to go wrong. I need to see Marilyn, she isn’t going to play head games anymore. I want to raise our child and no one is going to stand in our way this time.

 

“Justin, do you think Vic listened to you?” Brian asks me. Guess they couldn’t put Brian down for the count.

 

“I think they all want to put things back to the way it was supposed to happen. I also think they can’t, if we don’t cooperate.” I tell Brian.

 

“Only a stupid person would try to make you or I do anything.” Brian tells me.

 

“I think this person, wants you to do me.” I tell Brian. We have two days and we are going to get them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRIAN 

 

The last two mornings I woke up and Justin wasn't in bed. I always find him standing outside staring at the sunrise. I was scared the first morning because when he looked at me, it was like My Justin disappeared for a second. I watched as he slowly came back to me. I didn’t want him to forget, but he assured me he was still here.

 

“I wanted to watch the sun come up. It’s hard not to compare it to what I saw in Heaven. Everything is perfect there, I stopped creating. There was nothing I could do that wasn’t already the perfect painting. I miss seeing something and finding a way to show it from a different perspective.” Justin told me. I can’t imagine how hard it would have been for him.

 

“You have the chance to do it all over. To show the world your talent.” I tell him.

 

“I never wanted to show the world, I just wanted to be able to create. You know that was never important to me. If I made it as an artist, that was fine, but it wasn’t my goal. I didn’t paint because I wanted to, I did it because I had to. I needed to get the idea out of my head and onto a canvas. You thought I was afraid of failing, I was almost afraid to succeed and lose the reason I create.” Justin tells me.

 

“Why didn’t you ever explain that to me?” I ask him.

 

“At the time, you were too busy trying to push me away. I always knew when you wanted me to do something, you would force the issue. I wanted to us to be happy, you wanted me to reach my potential.” Justin tells me.

 

“You ever think that we could have been the reason it went wrong?” I ask him.

 

“It’s there, in my head. We chose the path, but I don’t think it was the reason.” Justin tells me.

 

“You still think it was Lindsay?” I ask him. 

 

“Why was she pushing so hard for me to go? She was always there to guide me, but it was the way a big sister would. She never tried to manipulate us, by playing us off each other. Do I think she caused it all? No.” He tells me. I can see he doesn’t quite believe it though.

 

“What would she have gained? People are selfish bastards, if there was nothing in it for her, why bother?” I tell him.

 

“What was she like after?” Justin asks me.

 

“She was inconsolable at first. She wanted to move back, but Mel felt they needed to stay in Canada. Then she was trying to make Gus forget you and Michael was trying to convince me that my grieving was hurting Gus. Lindsay and Michael tried everything to make us forget you.” I tell him.

 

“Michael wanted you with him, there is not real motive but to try to get his lifelong dream. Michael is as clear as water, he wanted to have the relationship you never gave him. Lindsay and I were raised to hide our motives, behind smiles and being polite. It’s when you turn your back that you should be scared of what we really wanted.” Justin tells me.

 

“Other than a paycheck for Gus, I couldn’t tell you. I wrote her off. Michael and I stayed friends, we just had our own lives. He was always trying to relive the Babylon days, I just couldn’t be an aging club boy.” I tell him.

 

“What did you do for tricks?” Justin asks me.

 

“I had people I hooked up with, who didn’t want a relationship anymore than I did.” I tell him.

 

“That was one thing I am both glad about and unhappy about at the same time.” Justin tells me.

 

“I couldn’t get past you, I never will. I wasn’t lonely, Gus and Alex were always there and when Sunny was born, I devoted myself to her.” I tell him.

 

“I don’t think I could have gotten past you either. I know I would have wanted you to have a life, but I didn’t want you to ever love anyone the way you loved me.” Justin tells me.

 

“Maybe that is part of Lindsay’s issue. She loved Mel but they weren’t like us. They were always breaking up and getting back together, but unlike us they never took care of each other during the separations. I always wanted you to have what you wanted and needed. They were too busy trying to be right to care if Lindsay had no way to support Gus. If Mel could pay for the house they bought together. They wanted to punish each other. I wanted you happy, I loved you enough to wait for you.” I tell him.

 

“I don’t get that, even when we were apart, I would have moved heaven and earth to make sure you were alright.” Justin tells me.

 

“You did, if you think about it.” I tell him. 

 

I grab his hand and take him back inside. We can think about this when we get back. 

 

EMMETT

 

It’s just sad, I came with Michael and Ted to the party and we sit around with everyone. Other than gifts, it’s like we were at a wake. Mel’s family came long enough to give Mel a gift for Gus and left. Lindsay’s family didn’t show at all. There were plenty of people here but Mel and Lindsay were acting like the party wasn’t important anymore. I tried to convince Ted and Michael that we should go, but Michael wanted to sit and bitch that Brian wasn’t around. Ted was talking to Mel, who seemed to be anywhere Lindsay wasn’t. I almost wanted to call Deb and tell her to liven this up. They can sit here, but I think it’s time for this girl to find something more exciting to do. I get up and start walking towards the door, I waved bye to the motley crew and get the hell out of dodge.

 

“Emmett, can we talk before you go?” Lindsay asks me. Damn, I almost escaped.

 

“You should really go back and entertain your guests.” I tried.

 

“Why bother, no one wants to be here.” She tells me. I know exactly where they all want to be. A cabin in Vermont, because their fearless leader dared to have a life.

 

“What do you want to ask?” I ask her. Hopefully for advice on how to throw a welcome home baby party.

 

“What do you think is going on with Brian?” Lindsay asks me. I have always been too optimistic.

 

“I think he found someone who he thinks might become important to him.” I tell her.

 

“Emmett, we’re talking about Brian. He might like fucking Justin, but he’s never going to be in a relationship.” She tell me. I want to ask her why she is worried if that’s what she really thinks.

 

“People change Lindsay, what you want today, might not be what you want tomorrow. Brian didn’t want commitment before he met Justin, but it doesn’t mean he can’t change his mind.” I tell her.

 

“You really think a seventeen year old kid is going to be the one who gets Brian?” Michael asks from the porch. I should have fucking run.

 

“I think if you and Lindsay had your way, then no, JUSTIN wouldn’t. I also think if you two want to keep your friendship with Brian, you better find a way to accept him living his life, without giving your two cents worth.” I tell them.

 

“Emmett, he’s going to hurt that kid.” Lindsay tells us.

 

“Lindsay, Michael, are you really ready to take on Justin? Because he doesn’t seem to have a problem shutting you down. Not a single person in this gang has ever accomplished that, I don’t think you guys want to fight with that seventeen year old kid, because the way it looks, Brian will side with him.” I tell them. Michael turns around and walks back inside, guess he couldn’t find anything to say to that.

 

“I want to know why Brian seems to be confiding in you lately.” Lindsay persists. 

 

“I don’t have an answer for you. He asked me to take care of Gus, if anything happened. You should be happy that he cares enough to do that.” I tell her.

 

“I am happy that he wants to do things for Gus.” Lindsay tells me. 

 

“Is there a point to this conversation?” I ask her.

 

“I wanted to see if you had a way to get a hold of Brian. Gus is having pictures taken Monday and I wanted to invite him to go with me.” She tells me.

 

“Call him on Monday and ask. I’m not giving you or Michael a way to get a hold of Brian.” I tell her. Fuck, now she knows I have a way to call Brian.

 

“You know where they are?” Lindsey asks me. 

 

“Unless it’s an emergency no, I don’t.” I tell her.

 

“Emmett, I’m not going to bother him, but he should have left the information with me. For Gus.” She tells me.

 

“Lindsay, if Brian wanted you or Michael to know where they are, he would have told you.” Ted tells her. 

 

“Ted, you ready to get out of here?” I ask him. Lindsay can try to get information out of someone else.

 

“I was looking for you, next time tell me your leaving. I had to listen to Michael bitching about Justin.” Ted seems irritated. 

 

“Lindsay, congratulations on having Gus, but Teddy and I are going to get out of here.” I hurry to Ted’s car and ignore her trying to get Brian’s information.

 

“Thank you Teddy. I swear when Brian gets back, I want to hand him his key and tell him that I’m not going to be the keeper of Kinney secrets. How the hell does he deal with the two of them?” I ask Ted.

 

“Makes him seem like less of an asshole when you open your eyes and see the other side of it, doesn’t it?” Teddy asks me.

 

“Something going on Teddy?” I ask him. He’s been different since Deb’s last night.

 

“I listened to ‘Mom’ and decide to look for a ‘could be’ instead of waiting for a ‘never will be’. I think Mel is starting to feel the same way about the things Deb said. She told me she’s been blaming the wrong person for her and Lindsay’s problems.” He tells me. I want to cheer, Teddy finally understands that Michael isn’t going to ever return his feelings.

 

“Brian has always said that we make our own problems. Mel letting Lindsay talk her into having a baby with Brian, is Mel’s problem. She could have stood her ground and said no. Mel has always had a blind spot to Lindsay’s use of Brian to make Mel jealous. Teddy, do you realize you and I are defending Brian?” I tell him.

 

“Yeah, it’s like the a new world order. It’s just after the farce last night you know, Michael and Lindsay trying to get Brian to do what they want. I made myself stop defending Michael and really listened to them two of them. Deb is right they are self centered assholes. I don’t want to be the kind of person who defends a guy who could call a friend a prick and then act like he didn't do anything wrong. It made me wonder what Michael says about me, when I can’t hear it.” Ted tells me.

 

I didn’t tell him that Michael calls him boring. Michael tried to soften it by saying he was a good guy, just not the kind of guy that men want. This coming from a guy who hasn’t ever really had a date that Brian didn’t help him get.

 

I think Ted owes Deb a present, she was able to get through to someone at the bitch fest. Unfortunately it wasn’t the target audience.

 

 

 

BRIAN

 

I timed our return so that the gang couldn’t show up at my door. Justin told me his parents would be home in time to get Molly to school, so we had tonight before the real world invaded. Justin wanted to find Marilyn, I told him good luck on getting any answers out of her.

 

“Unlike you, I have the advantage of knowing more.” Justin tells me.

 

“She will still evade you.” I tell him. I look at the answering machine and see I have twenty-eight messages. 

 

“Not if she wants to keep it a secret that she dresses in drag.” Justin tells me.

 

“Everyone knows that.” I tell him.

 

“Not the people he dresses, Marilyn is an image consultant. Imagine if her high powered homophobic clients find that out.” Justin is always thinking of an angle. I start the messages, with my finger hovering over the delete button.

 

“Brian, you need..” not listening to Michael’s rants. I delete the next eight because it’s all Michael.

 

“Brian, you need to be available…” Bye Lindsay. The next seven go with that one.

 

“Brian, I have decided that it is time to make someone else the keeper of Kinney. I swear I haven’t had a minute to myself, they just keep showing up. Call me when you want.” Emmett tells the machine.

 

“Brian, I want to apologize for Michael…” Deb is the next six.

 

“Brian, I have the figures you wanted for starting up a company. Let me know when you want to meet.” Ted informs me.

 

“Hey, just wanted to warn you Michael and Lindsay are trying to find out when you're coming home.” That was from Vic.

 

“Brian, you need to call…” Michael just couldn’t give up.

 

Brian, call me it’s about Gus.” Lindsay had to give it one last go.

 

I call Mel because I don’t want to hear what a bad father I am.

 

“Mel, it’s Brian. Lindsay left a message about Gus?” I ask her.

 

“Did she say what she needed?” Mel is almost civil.

 

“No, just that it was about Gus.” I tell her.

 

“I couldn’t tell you. Gus is fine. It’s probably her wanting to tell you that you owe it to her to make sure she can reach you anytime she wants.” Mel isn’t happy.

 

“If you find out call me. I need one more night away before dealing with my two best friends.” I tell Mel.

 

“Your call, but you should let them stew. They’ve been worse than usual this weekend.” Mel tells me.

 

“Is everything alright with you?” I ask her. She seems almost pissed.

 

“Brian, first don’t be nice, it’s hard for me to deal with you when you're nice. Second, after you left, Deb just about took our heads off. She said some things that had me reevaluating my part in placing the blame on you for Lindsay chasing you around.” She tells me.

 

“Any thoughts you want to share with the class, Smelly Melly?” I ask her.

 

“Just that I’m an asshole with a weak spot for a blonde WASP.” She tells me.

 

“We both share that problem.” I smile at Justin. He better wait for me, I love taking showers with My Justin.

 

“All I know is the two of them seem to think you owe them an explanation for leaving with Justin. Emmett is ready to cart them both to the desert and leave them there.” Mel tells me.

 

“It’s not going to be my problem, Mel. I can’t spend the next five years trying to wean them from me.” I tell her.

 

“If everything keeps going the way it has, it might not be my problem much longer either. Lindsay has been sitting around in her pajamas, ignore everything. She can’t seem to get the energy to even shower. I would say it’s postpartum but I think it’s really not being able to get you to listen to her.” Mel tells me.

 

“Make her get off her ass and take care of Gus. If I have to do it, you and she are going to have more problems than her not showering.” I warn her.

 

“Maybe if you do, she’ll stop sitting around whining all day.” Mel tells me then hangs up.

 

Wow we were actually carrying on a conversation, that wasn’t me being an asshole. That could be good or bad. Things are changing faster than the first time. I need Justin’s opinion, so I get undressed and join him in the shower. I think we can talk after.

 

I grab him and attack his mouth. Justin smiles into the kiss. I think it’s time I take care of Justin. I grab the soap and get on my knees. I put Justin’s foot on my leg and started bathing him. I make sure to slowly rub soap up one leg and then the other. Standing I turn him and clean his ass and back, I spent a lot of time on his ass. Turning him back around I scrub his chest and then his cock, he needs to be squeaky clean. I grab the bottle of shampoo he uses and start on his scalp. I massage his head and am glad that I don’t have to be careful  anymore. Once I was done, I rinsed him, watching the suds travel down his body. Justin grabs me and licks my lips to get in. We continue to kiss as his body is rinsed clean. I grab a condom and Justin leans back into the corner and lifts his leg to wrap around my waist. He wanted to look at me as we fuck. I worked his entrance to get it ready to recieve my cock. I look into his eyes as I start pushing into him. Justin moans and tries to thrust back. I hold him still and work my cock into him. I pull out and holding his ass, thrust hard into him. Justin moans louder as I begin to speed up. We stare at each other until I see his eyes glaze over. I want us to cum together, so I work my cock to get closer to the end. Justin leans in forcing my cock deeper and we both start thrusting together. Justin grabs the top of the door and wraps his other leg around my waist. I move with him, using our bodies to grind his cock. I feel the sensation that tells me that his ass is going to milk me during his orgasm and let myself cum. We both stay in together and Justin wraps his arms around me. I turn off the water and he pushes the shower door open. I keep us connected through sheer force of will. Carrying him to the bed, I finally disconnect us. I set him beside the bed and grab a towel to dry him with. We didn’t talk with our voices, just through looking at each other. We both fall into the bed and lay there watching each other. We can talk tomorrow, tonight I want to just lay with the real keeper of Kinney.

 

JUSTIN

 

Last night was intense, we didn’t speak but let our bodies and eyes do the talking. We finally reached that point where words weren’t necessary. Unfortunately the real world was waiting for us to reappear. I had to get to school and deal with my parents. Mom found out I wasn’t where I said I was. Guess it’s time to out myself. I sit in the living room of my parent’s house and wish I was back at the loft, well maybe not. As I was leaving I saw Michael standing outside waiting. I didn’t even want to hear what was wrong in ‘Mikey’s World’ today. I look at my mother, she asked me something?

 

“Sorry, did you ask me something?” I ask her.

 

“Where were you all weekend? Don’t say Daphne’s house, I called her mother who didn’t seem to know you were supposed to be there this weekend.” Mom stares at me. Does she really think the WASP death stare was going to work. Hello, I was raised to understand it.

 

“I hung out with a friend. Daphne wanted to do something with September.” I tell her. 

 

“Justin, where were you? I’m doing you the favor of not telling your dad. You can return the favor by being honest.” She tells me.

 

“I meet someone and we wanted to spend time together.” I tell her. I can feel the visit to the crappy therapist coming. 

 

“Justin, you can’t spend the weekend with a girl and not expect us to be upset.” She tells me. Crap, I’m going to have to be nice to Lindsay. Otherwise Deb and Mom won’t meet. 

 

“It would upset you more if you knew it wasn’t a girl. I was trying to save us the trouble of you trying to convince me I’m not gay.” I just wanted this over with.

 

“Justin, you're not gay.” Didn’t I just tell her I was trying to save us from this conversation.

 

“Yes Mom, I am. I’ve been all my life, and will be no matter what you and Dad think.” I tell her.

 

“Maybe we need to have your dad here. It’s just a phase.” She seems to almost plead with me to tell her it isn’t true.

 

“It’s not a phase, it’s a fact. Mom why do you suddenly think that Dad can talk me out of it. I want you to remember what I’m about to say. Dad isn’t going to talk me out of it, he’s going to kick me out. He is going to want you and Molly to alienate me from your lives, unless I pretend to be straight. It’s not going change that I like men and not women. The only thing it will do is cause you and Dad to fight, you're going to have to choose a side. So go with the knowledge that Dad isn’t going to accept this. It will change his view of both me and you.” I tell her.

 

“He loves you, you're his son.” she really doesn’t know the man she married.

 

“He loves me if I don’t rock the boat. This isn’t a small wave mom, it’s a tsunami that is going to destroy any love I feel for him.” I tell her.

 

“I don’t believe that, he’s your father. I won’t stop loving you, even if you are gay.” She tells me.

 

“No you won’t, but your giving Dad too much credit.” I get up to start packing, I know she is going to try to talk to my loving father.

 

 “Mom, it’s not IF, I am gay. Please don’t think a therapist is going to change that.” I tell her.

 

“Honey, I just want to help.” She tells my back. 

 

I love her but she still believes in her husband. It makes me less pissed at what is about to happen. She didn’t tell my Dad to get him to straighten me out. She did it because she loved us. 

 

“I’m going to stay at a friend’s house tonight. You do what you have to do. I’m going to prepare for what will result from your belief in Dad’s love for his son.” I tell her.

 

I grab the bag, with everything I want to take with me. It’ll save her the trouble of bringing to Brian’s office.

 

BRIAN

 

When Justin and I were leaving this morning, we got to see Michael. I wanted to ask him if he slept out here all night. Instead I made out with Justin, Michael glared at us. Justin left and told me he would be back tonight.

 

“Mikey, hope you had a good weekend, I know I did.” I tell him.

 

“Glad you fucking the kid all weekend was fun. My weekend was shit, you could have called.” Michael tells me.

 

“Calling would have required leaving Justin alone.” I tell him.

 

“Aren’t you done with the kid yet?” Michael asks me.

 

“Michael, I need you to listen to me. Are you really listening? I want all your focus on the words coming out of my mouth. You are not allowed to filter them or change them. Can you do that?” I say it slowly.

 

“Stop acting like an ass and tell me.” Michael whines.

 

“His name is Justin, I hope that one day the world will allow us to get married, because I will marry him one day. He isn’t ‘the kid’ or ‘the twink’. Your life will be easier if you accept the fact that I love Justin Taylor. Let me say it one more time, so we won’t have any communication issues. I LOVE JUSTIN. Did you hear it, or are we going to play ‘Brian doesn’t do love’ for the next few years?” I look at him and wait to see if any of it penetrated his brain.

 

“Whatever, I wanted to see if you wanted to go eat.” Michael as usual, ignores me. If it wasn’t what he believed, it doesn’t count.

 

“No I have to get to work. You want a ride?” I give up on him listening.

 

“I thought we could spend some time together.” Michael tells me.

 

“We can spend it while I drive you to work.” I tell him.

 

“I’ll get there by myself, since you can’t take an hour out of your schedule to do anything with me.” Michael tells me.

 

“Do what you have to Michael. I have to get on with my life. Which will include Justin.” I get in my rental and drive off. Michael looks surprised I didn’t try to make up with him.

 

I have to go get a new Jeep, I hope the dealership likes replacing the showroom window. That is a supposed to do on my list.

BRIAN

 

I walked into the loft and see that Justin is already moving his stuff in. Sue me for being thrilled about it, I know his family life is going to shit, but I want him here. Instead of grabbing a drink, I grab Justin and wait for him to tell me.

 

“Mom figured out I wasn’t where I said I would be.” He tells me.

 

“How’d that go?” I ask him.

 

“I told her I was with a guy and that I was gay. She tried to convince me that I wasn’t gay, that it’s just a phase.” Justin tells me.

 

“Is that why you're moving in?” I ask him.

 

“I figured I’d save my mother from going to your office and delivering my things.” He tells me.

 

“She still thinks Craig is going to be okay with you being gay?” I ask him.

 

“She still wants to believe that Craig loves me enough to accept it.” Justin tells me.

 

“We’re ahead of schedule.” I tell him. Justin shrugs.

 

“It’s going to happen one way or the other. I just don’t want the drama affecting Molly.” Justin tells me.

 

“I really need to buy her a present, some day.” I tell him. She will eventually give us Kira.

 

“How about you wait until it would make sense to her.” Justin smiles at me.

 

“How are you really doing?” I ask him.

 

“Believe it or not, I’m fine. I got over my dad feeling the way he did about me when he had me arrested and tried to convince me that it was my fault Mom divorced him. I just don’t want to go through him wrecking your Jeep and sucker punching you at Babylon.” He tells me.

 

I look at him to see if he is really okay. No matter what he says, he always hoped his father would accept him. I let him go and start looking through menus, I need to feed him. Justin isn’t a happy man if he’s hungry. The buzzer starts going off and we stare at each other, God please don’t let it be the ‘best friends’. I push the intercom.

 

“Brian let me up, I’m hiding from Michael and Lindsay. Ted came with me, and Mysterious Marilyn just walked up. It’s like a party, so let us in before we get spotted.” Emmett tells me. I look at Justin and have to wonder what they all want.

 

“We won’t know until they come up.” Justin tells me. I let them in and open the door. Guess I need to order for five.

 

“Close the door and block it.” Emmett yells at us.

 

“Emmett calm down, we lost Michael at the diner.” Ted tells him.

 

“You think he isn’t going to look everywhere for us.” Emmett tells Ted loudly.

 

“He won’t have to look, he’ll just follow the sound of your screaming.” Ted tells Emmett.

 

I look at Marilyn, who is glaring at Justin. “What have I ever done to you that you would try to threaten me?” She ask Justin. Justin looks at Emmett and Ted. “It’s too late to change what you two already did.” She tells him.

 

“I need you to tell me why she did it. I know you well enough that you're going to try to tell me just enough to get by on.” Justin says vaguely to her.

 

“Justin, imagine what it was like for her. You were more talented than she ever was when you were only seventeen, she had to watch you develop and continue to get better. She tried to get you to explore your talent after the bashing and you continued to succeed where she had failed. She always had a closer relationship with Brian, until he met you. You took all the dreams she had and turned them to dust. She told Brian that she always thought her life would be them getting married and having a baby. She only ever got the baby, you were getting the marriage, the manor, and a chance to become a critically acclaimed artist. It was jealousy, you could have the success, but she got to keep Brian.” She tells us. I look at Ted and Emmett and wonder why she’s saying it in front of them.

 

“How do you know Marilyn Justin, and what the hell was all that about?” Emmett asks us.

 

“You're telling all the secrets, it’s up to you to explain it to the boys.” I tell Marilyn.

 

“Ted you need to go to Babylon tonight, your future is waiting there. You already missed meeting him at the correct time.” Marilyn tells him. I look at her, is she really going to let him OD tonight? “It won’t happen because he wasn’t there the right night. He still needs to meet him.” She tells me.

 

“Yeah like I’m going to listen to a psychic.” Ted tells her.

 

“What about me. Is there something I need to do?” Emmett hops up and down in excitement.

 

“No Emmett, you don’t get real excitement for a few years.” Marilyn tells a disappointed Emmett.

 

“Oh pooh, you could have told me my future husband was going to show up.” Emmett tells her.

 

“Brian, you need to get him to Babylon. Emmett didn’t go where he was supposed to before the baby welcoming disaster afternoon, so he didn’t pick up the hustler.” She tells me.

 

“How is that my fault?” I’ve been gone, I can’t make them do things.

 

“It wasn’t important, but instead of you and Justin fighting over tricks that night, you both get to help get some things back on track. If you don’t, no doctor.” She tells us. I need Dave to show up, Mikey is getting to the point that a stake through his heart is sounding good.

 

“You want to pick the guys up tonight? We never did get to trick with them.” Justin asks me.

 

“Might be fun.” I smile at the genius.

 

“Good luck with that, they aren’t there because you two had to change things.” She tells us. 

 

“You still want to trick?” Please say yes.

 

“Hello, seventeen again, you’ll be in traction if we don’t.” Justin tells me.

 

“Guys, not that this isn’t an interesting conversation, but what the hell are you talking about?” Emmett asks us.

 

“You can tell Emmett tomorrow, you're going to need the help. Plus, you two aren’t going to trick tonight.” Marilyn tells us and starts to leave.

 

“You are demented, you know that Marilyn, if Brian and I want to trick, we trick. You can’t stop us.” Justin warns her.

 

“You used to be the nice one. Just so you know, God Kinney is the one that is going to stop you tonight. I’ll come by tomorrow, after you get back from your therapist.” Marilyn smirks. Justin groans and walks into the bedroom to change.

 

“I don’t know if I want to know any more secrets. The last one has Michael and Lindsey chasing me up and down Liberty Avenue. “ Emmett tells me.

 

“Lets just go so Ted can possibly get laid tonight.” I tell them. Fuck Marilyn, we are going to trick tonight.

 

MICHAEL

 

I waited at Babylon, the guys are going to show up. It’s been so hard to find them lately. Ted isn’t practically up my ass, and Emmett has been staying somewhere else. I don’t even want to think about Brian and the damned twink. I stand on the catwalk, so I can see when they show up. It’s not really crowded tonight, Monday is never busy, so you would think people would quit bumping into me. This guy almost knocked me on my ass.

 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to almost knock you over. My friend is a little worse for the wear tonight.” A good looking guy tells me.

 

“It’s fine.” I tell him and turn back to look for my friends. I hear the group behind me talking about where they want to go next.

 

“Guys, I have classes tomorrow. I need to head home.” The good looking one tell the others.

 

“Can’t you for one night not be responsible? Seriously Ben if you don’t start looking your never going to have a relationship.” The other guy tells Ben.

 

“I can look this weekend, when I don’t have classes all day.” He tells them. 

 

They walk away from me. That Ben guy shouldn’t have any problems finding a man, they probably throw themselves at him. I watch him walk out and see Brian coming through the door.  He fucking brought the twink. The kid looks at the Ben guy and smiles at him. Brian yanks Justin away shaking his head no. What is with men? They all look at the kid and want to fuck him. The Ben guy stared after Justin and then walked out the door.

 

I head to them, they are all dancing on the floor. Well, Emmett is dancing with the kid. Brian is looking around, I knew he’d get tired of the kid. I finally reach the gang and watch as the kid is talking up a guy. I want to make sure Brian sees the kid trying to fuck around.

 

“Brian, the love of your life is flirting with someone else.” I tell him. I was trying to keep from smiling.

 

“Justin no, small dick and doesn’t know how to give a blow job.” Brian yells at him. Justin smiles at the guy and walks off to look for someone else. I can’t believe this, Brian isn’t even angry about it.

 

“I hate this meat market, unless you look like Brian or obviously Justin, you might as well be invisible.” Ted complains. I feel bad for Ted, I mean he’s right, no one looks at him.

 

“You want to dance?” A twink ask Ted. What the hell is with all the twinks latching on to my friends.

 

“I really just sway, not much of a dancer.” Ted tell the guy.

 

“Then let’s sway, my name is Blake.” He tells Ted. Wonder if this guy lost a bet, what else could explain him asking Ted to dance. They dance with each other and Ted walks over to us.

 

“Brian, can you get Emmett home?” Ted seems excited.

 

“Yeah, no problem. Do not take drugs from someone you just met. Promise me.” Brian tells him. What is with Brian acting like he cares about Ted?

 

“Fine, I promise not to take drugs tonight Dad.” Ted tells him. I watch as Blake grabs Ted’s hand and they leave.

 

“Justin, what the hell is with your taste tonight? He has pimples all over his ass.” Brian yells at Justin.

 

“Brian let the kid go, he doesn’t seem to share your idea that he’s the one.” I tell him.

 

“Brian it’s like fucking troll night. Why are all the guys that come on a Monday night like bottom of the barrel? Oh hi Mikey, what brings you here tonight?” Justin asks me.

 

“Why don’t you go play with the other kids at the playground. Us adults have things to do. And my name is Michael.” I tell him. 

 

“Michael, I’d do that, but with only you here, Brian wouldn’t get laid tonight.” Justin tells me. “Not him Brian, herpes.” Justin tells him.

 

“Can we go? Apparently we are going to have to be happy with each other tonight. We also need to get up early to get the rest of your stuff, before you go to school. I don’t want to spend all week moving you in.” Brian tells Justin.

 

“Your moving him in? What the fuck Brian? We need to talk about this.” I tell him. Brian can’t be serious, he never wanted a roommate. I tried to room with him when he started looking for a place, but I couldn’t afford the rent on the places he was looking at.

 

“Mikey, not your business. Justin go get Emmett and tell him that guy is into some sick shit. Michael if you need a ride, come, but I don’t want to hear shit from you.” Brian tells me.

 

“Well the only way I’m going to ride with you is if you tell me you aren’t stupid enough to move that kid in with you.” I tell him. I glare and fold my arms to let him know I’m serious.

 

“Have a good walk then, Later.” Brian turns and yanks the kid out of Emmett’s arms. I wait for Brian to come back, and after ten minutes realize he isn’t coming back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

JUSTIN

 

I really have to stop doubting Marilyn, damn it. My mom was waiting outside school for me today. She wanted us to talk. I wanted to avoid it all, but I got in the car. Lovely, we get to relive the therapist again. I think this happened later, but I can deal with the woman and her condescension. Only we don’t go to that office, nope, it’s Alex Wilder. I always wanted to meet him, he tried to help Brian and I once, after the bashing.

 

“Justin can you at least keep an open mind? I wanted to see if maybe this would help you see that I only want what’s best for you.” Mom tells me.

 

“It’s not going to change my being gay.” I tell her. Wonder if she realizes that Alex is gay?

 

“I just think we need someone to mediate. You didn’t even try to talk to your father, you just left.” She tells me.

 

“What did he say, you know, when he found out his son was a faggot?” I ask her.

 

“I didn’t tell him, yet, but I have to. I want you to come home. I don’t even know where you were last night.” Mom tells me.

 

“I stayed with my boyfriend.” I tell her.

 

“Justin that won’t help the situation.” She tells me. Alex comes out and invites us in. I flirted with him. Mom looked like she swallowed a lemon. We sit on the couch together and Alex walks over to a chair in front of us and sits down.

 

“Hello, I’m Alex Wilder and your mother called because she said you were having some issues. I tape my sessions so that I can concentrate on you, is that okay?” He actually asks me, not my mom.

 

“Sure, but the only issue we have is my mom thinks I’m confused. I know I’m gay.” I tell him. I don’t want to waste a lot of time on this.

 

“Mrs. Taylor, is Justin’s sexuality a problem?” I like how he put my mom on the spot.

 

“I love my son, but I don’t think he knows his sexuality at seventeen. I think someone gave him the idea.” She tells Alex.

 

“Mrs. Taylor, a person’s sexuality is decided almost at birth, by the time Justin was six, he probably exhibited signs that he wasn’t going to be straight. By seventeen, he is no longer confused, but ready to start exploring his world.” He tells her.

 

“Justin also left home to move in with his… boyfriend. I don’t think he’s ready for that level of commitment.” She tells him. I can see her point, when I was seventeen, I wasn’t ready, but neither was Brian.

 

“Justin do you feel pressured to stay with your boyfriend?” Alex asks me.

 

“No, I would have left sooner, but I had things I needed to happen.” I tell him.

 

“What needed to happen?” Alex asks me.

 

“I meant that I was going to school and you know I wanted my parents to accept me.” Alex really listens, shit I need to be careful around him.

 

“I don’t even know where he’s staying.” Mom tells Alex. Hey, I’m sitting right here Mom.

 

“Is there a reason you don’t want your mother to know where you're staying?” Alex asks me.

 

“Let's see, my dad is a homophobe. My boyfriend is older and doesn’t need my father trying to fuck with him. My mom is going to spend all her time trying to make Brian feel like shit for corrupting me. Then Brian is going to have deal with my family, who I can’t convince that I’m gay. You tell me if you want them to know where I am.” I tell Alex.

 

“Mrs. Taylor, if your husband has problems with gay people, having a gay son is only going to make it worse.” He tells her. Maybe she’ll listen to him.

 

“He’s our son, I know Craig will have a hard time accepting that Justin might be gay, but we love Justin and we’ll get through this, as a family.” She tells him.

 

“It doesn’t work like that mom. Dad isn’t going suddenly run out to march at Pride. He’s going to put conditions on my life. I won’t live like that.” I tell her.

 

“Mrs. Taylor, you came here today to see if we could help Justin. I can’t help you if you aren’t willing to listen to him. He is telling you he’s gay and you're still trying to act like he isn’t. Unless you can admit to yourself that he is gay, we are only going to talk in circles.” Alex tells her.

 

“I want my son to come home. I can’t keep lying to Craig, he thinks Justin is at his best friend’s house.” Mom starts crying.

 

“Why haven’t you told him why Justin left?” He asks her.

 

“I don’t want to cause problems.” She tells him.

 

“I think you don’t want to see that Dad isn’t going to be smiling and accepting. You can’t admit that he isn’t going to love me the same. I know it and I don’t have to pay a therapist to tell me that.” I tell her.

 

“I want to add, that if you're lying to your husband, it’s as good as admitting that this isn’t going to be something he can accept.” Alex tells her.

 

Mom tells him she needs to think about all this and wanted to set another appointment. I told her have fun talking to Alex, I don’t need to talk about it anymore. She tried to get me to let her drop me off, but I told her to go home and take care of Molly. I waited till she was gone and asked Alex if I could use the phone to call my ride. I called Brian and told him to pick me up at Alex’s office. Brian told me he needed an address because he’d never been to Alex’s office. I hand the phone to Alex.

 

“Could you tell Brian how to get here?” I ask him.

 

“Yes.” He tells me. “Hello, I’m located in the building next to the Pittsburgh Medical.” He tells Brian and hangs up.

 

“Thanks, I’ll wait outside.” I tell him.

 

“You were my last appointment, how about I walk you out. You can explain how you got Brian Kinney to commit to someone.” He seems surprised but I guess he would be. Brian wasn’t big on the commitment thing at this point.

 

“He took one look at my ass. You gotta admit it’s stellar.” I flirt with Alex. He’s kind of cute. Poor Alex looked and then shook his head.

 

We wait for Brian to show and I can tell Alex wants to ask a hundred questions. Luck was on my side because Brian pulled up before Alex could ask. I hop in the new Jeep, hopefully Brian didn’t take out the window of the showroom.

 

“Interesting day I’ve had.” Alex tells Brian.

 

“Well if we didn’t make it interesting, what would you have to talk about at Woody’s?” Brian asks him.

 

“Brian, if Brad Pitt picked Justin up, I’d be less surprised than I am now.” He tells Brian.

 

“Brad can wait for Angie, Justin is mine.” Brian tells him.

 

“Brian, his wife is Jennifer Aniston.” Alex tells him.

 

“Jennifer, Angie, they’re women’s names, I don’t keep up with that shit. Good seeing you, but my little twat and I have an appointment.” Brian tells him. Brian pulls away from the curb.

 

“Did you kill the window?” I ask him.

 

“No, the asshole wasn’t there. I also didn’t take Lindsey and Gus this time. Kind of ruined it for me.” He tells me.

 

“You can still fuck with your parents.” I tell him.

 

“Yeah, there is that. Pop is dying and I think I’ll just let him find out the way he does. Mom was still around the whole time, I’ll wait till Dad’s funeral and bring you with me.” Brian tells me.

 

“Man, I was hoping you could take Michael. He would kiss up to your mother. I would most likely explain purgatory to her.” I tell him.

 

“What’s that like, Purgatory?” He asks me.

 

“It’s like sitting on a train that goes nowhere for centuries, while the people there try to explain why they deserve to get off.” Justin tells me.

 

“So it’s a bunch of people whining because they think they lived a good life? Hope Mikey likes it there.” Brian jokes. 

 

As we pull up, we both groan. Guess Michael ran to Lindsay, you know, to talk some sense into Brian. Why does Lindsay look like utter shit?

 

“What the hell is wrong with Lindsey?” I ask Brian.

 

“She isn’t bathing or doing anything, according to Mel.” Brian tells me.

 

“Can we make her take a shower before she sits near us?” I ask him.

 

“How about we just pull away and go to Deb’s?” He tells me.

 

“They’ll just follow us.” I tell him.

 

“Not if what Mel told me was true. Deb ripped into them when we left the other night.” He tells me.

 

“You didn’t tell me that.” I tell him.

 

“You got naked, sorry but it didn’t seem very important at that moment.” He tells me.

 

“How about I take the Jeep and get some dinner, while you deal with your besties.” I tell him.

 

“We’re partners, if I have to deal with them, so do you.” He tells me. 

 

“I can always run away to Deb’s.” I warn him.

 

“You could stay and see what Marty wants, he just walked up too. All we need is Ted and Emmett and we can have a party.” Brian tells me. I see Marilyn, well Marty, standing next to Michael and Lindsay. 

 

“I think Marilyn is still pissed about me threatening to out her.” I tell him.

 

“That’s what you get, Mr 1500 on your SAT’s, instead of trying to smooth your way in, you bulldoze people.” He tells me. 

 

Michael knocks on Brian’s window. I can see Brian debating whether or not to just put the Jeep back in drive. He looks out the window and sees Emmett and Ted walking up, with Mel. Mel is carrying Gus and that makes Brian’s decision easier. 

 

“Take Ted with you and get enough food to feed the masses.” I grab his face and kiss him. I can take forever getting food.

 

“That doesn’t mean leave me here all night with them. You get food and drive back.” He tells me, he knows me too well. At least that gets me an hour free of the whole ordeal.

 

BRIAN

 

I get out of the Jeep and see Justin slip over into the driver’s seat. The twat was too happy not to have to deal with everyone.

 

“Ted, go with Justin. He’s getting some food.” I tell Ted. He starts to say something but I give him the ‘don’t fuck with me’ look. Ted walks over and hops in. Justin practically peels out, I look longly at my disappearing Jeep.

 

“He’ll be back in forty minutes, let’s get this over with.” Marty tells me.

 

“Not a word until we are in the loft. Anyone says anything and they leave.” I tell the group. I walk over to Mel and grab Gus’s carrier. Mel looked like she needed a hand.

 

“You okay?” I ask her quietly, leading her away from the others.

 

“No, I’m not. I’m done is what I am.” She tells me.

 

“Do you need any help?” I ask her.

 

“I can handle it, I did something that isn’t going to sit well with Lindsay.” She tells me.

 

“If you want to keep your relationship, don’t tell her about Mary Ann.” I tell her. Mel looks surprised at that.

 

“I haven’t done anything yet, but I want to.” She tells me.

 

“Make sure it’s right for you, I’ll take care of Gus.” I reassure her.

 

“So you and Mel can talk but we can’t.” Michael whines.

 

“You can go, I’m talking to the mother of my son.” I tell him. Michael shuts up.

 

I lead everyone inside and catch a whiff of Lindsay. Jesus when was the last time she bathed. I run and grab a towel. 

 

“Don’t sit on my furniture, you fucking stink Lindsay.” I tell her. 

 

“Brian we need to talk. Michael told me you moved the kid in here.” Lindsay tells me.

 

“Why is that your problem or your business?” Mel snaps at her.

 

I take Gus and put him on the bed. Glad he’s sleeping through this. Emmett comes in and tells me he’ll stay in here with the baby. I grab the coward and drag him with me. 

 

“What did I do in this life to deserve this? Can someone answer that?” Emmett seems to be talking to himself or maybe the divine fates.

 

“You accepted the key to my loft.” I tell him.

 

“You gave Emmett a key.” Michael yells.

 

“Shut the fuck up, Gus is sleeping you asshole.” Mel yells back. That was helpful. I walk back in to check if Gus is okay. Marty tells me Gus is going to sleep through this, nice to have a psychic here. I wanted to ask if I could sleep through it too.

 

“Nope, they're your friends.” He answers my thoughts.

 

“Brian, you need to send Justin home to his parents. You could get in trouble for letting a seventeen year old live with you.” Lindsay tells me.

 

“He won’t because Justin’s parents aren’t going to do anything that would bring embarrassment to them. They are like your parent’s Lindsay, they pretend the problems don’t exist.” Marty tells her.

 

“Brian is too old for that kid.” Michael tells everyone.

 

“Justin is a highly intelligent young man. He will never sit on his ass and wait for someone to take care of him. Just look at the sketches in that book. That young man is going to be famous one day.” Marty tells them.

 

Lindsay picks up the sketch pad and starts flipping through it. I wasn’t there when she looked through it the first time. I came later when she started really looking at them. She wasn’t able to hide her jealousy, but she tried to make it to look as if she was thrilled at his capabilities. I look and can see the differences that all the years make to the more recent drawings.

 

“If this is what Justin is doing at seventeen, he needs to go to New York and show his work there.” Lindsay comments absently. I see red, she didn’t just say that to me.

 

“If you're so fucking interested in the center of the art world, I’ll fucking buy you a ticket and you can pray the plane doesn’t crash and ruin your loved one's life.” I tell her.

 

“Calm down, she was just saying Justin’s talented.” Marty was holding me back from killing the bitch.

 

“Mel we should see if he wants to enter some drawings at the GLC art show.” Lindsay tells Mel. She acts like I didn’t just bitch at her.

 

“Do what you want Lindsay. Unless you stop this crazy shit, I won’t be home to care.” Mel tells her.

 

“Mel, it’s postpartum. The doctor told you that.” She tell Mel.

 

“I don’t care what you want to call it. You need to take a bath and start taking care of Gus.” I tell her.

 

“Brian, Lindsay and I feel you need to think about what you're doing with the kid.” Michael tells me.

 

“He meets David soon, just let it go.” Marty whispers.

 

“Michael, how about you worry about your promotion and leave Brian to worry about Justin.” Ted tells him. Justin walks in with Ted, and crap what the hell did Justin order.

 

“I got your noodles, you know the ones with zero good stuff.” Justin tells me. At least it wasn’t his usual carb fest. “I got Michael and I chicken and biscuits.” He adds.

 

“Where’d you get it?” Michael asks him. These two and food.

 

“Where do you think, the colonel.” Justin tells Michael. Michael runs and grabs a leg, guess he forgot why he came here.

 

“Justin, this gentleman showed us your drawings. We have an art show at the GLC, you should let me show your work.” Lindsay tells him.

 

“Sure, if you want to.” He tells her. Why is he letting her do this? “Maybe we should invite my mom. It could help her with the gay thing.” Justin tells me. He means Deb explaining it to her would.

 

“Is your mom giving you a hard time? My mom was practically screaming she’s a proud mom to a gay son.” Michael tells him. How does Michael go from hating Justin to being nice to him?

 

“She still thinks I’m just experimenting.” Justin tells him. 

 

Justin grabs two forks and pours the gravy over all the biscuits. He and Michael sit down and start eating together. I still want to grab the fork and put it in Michael hand correctly. It’s sad to see Justin eating like a good little WASP and Michael acting like the fork is a shovel.

 

“Maybe your mom could talk to Ma.” Michael offers.

 

I turn to look at Lindsay and she is staring at Justin’s work. Guess they aren’t interested in telling me how to live my life anymore. I walk into my bedroom to change and smile at Gus looking around the room. Marty walks in.

 

“They're all going to leave in a minute. We have to decide if you want Emmett to know.” He tells me.

 

“Why Emmett? Ted and Mel are both out there too.” I ask him.

 

“Emmett is more open minded than the other two. By being told, he will understand why you’ve suddenly changed.” He tells me.

 

“Let’s wait till the others go.” I tell him. I pick Gus up and take him to the living room. Marty brings the carrier. 

 

“Brian, I need to get Gus home and clean up. We can talk later?” She asks me.

 

“Only if I have to.” I tell her.

 

“I’d better go too, I have to put a display up early tomorrow. I’ll see if Ma will talk to your mom.” Michael tells Justin.

 

Ted goes with them and we are finally alone, except for Emmett and Marty.

 

“What were you going to tell me?” Emmett asks us. “Marty why aren’t you Marilyn?” 

 

“I had to rush to get here before Brian ran Michael and Lindsay over with his new Jeep.” Marty kids. I hope he’s kidding, would I have really done that?

 

“It was road rage.” He tells me.

 

“Emmett, sit down, it’s a long story.” Justin tells Emmett.

 

Marty and Justin take turns explaining it to Emmett. He sits and listens, I wait to see if he believes any of it.

 

“That explains so much. Justin, were you and I like, great friends?” That’s all Emmett is concerned about?

 

“You are probably one of my best friends other than Daphne.” Justin tells him.

 

Emmett is beaming at Justin.

JUSTIN

 

Emmett was more interested in what our life was like than anything about himself. Marty seemed okay with Emmett knowing things as long as we didn’t tell Emmett anything that affected his future.

 

“What’s changed?” Emmett asked us.

 

“What hasn’t changed? These two seem to take knowing the future as a license to change whatever they want.” Marty complains.

 

“We only wanted to spend the weekend together without everyone telling us we are making a mistake.” I tell Marty.

 

“That would have been wonderful if your friends fates didn’t change with your changes.” He tells me.

 

“Were we supposed to try to remember forty years worth of shit?” Brian asks Marty.

 

“Not exactly, but it’s not like you two couldn’t remember generally what happened.” He tells Brian.

 

“You and Vic want us to get it right. Well nothing went right in the other life. We spent more time breaking up and getting back together than anything else. We also listened to all the ‘helpful advice’ of our friends. Maybe it’s time we start trying to do what we want.” I tell Marty.

 

“Vic knows about this?” Emmett asks.

 

“Not this Vic, the one in Heaven.” Brian tells Emmett.

 

“Wait, there are two of Vic?” Emmett asks us.

 

“No there’s only one. Vic dies and seems to spend all his time in Heaven doling out advice.” Brian tells him.

 

“God, that sucks. You know when we all die?” Emmett tells Brian.

 

“No, just three of you. And not you, you outlive me.” I tell him.

 

“We were still friends in the future?” Emmett asks Brian.

 

“You, Ted, and Mel became my core group, the other two pissed me off. I still talked to Michael but Lindsay and I no longer talked.” Brian tells Emmett.

 

“I’m trying to imagine a world where you and I are friends.” Emmett tells him.

 

“You didn’t try to offer me advice, you just came and sat with me at night. You were able to let me grieve without having to talk it to death.” Brian tells him.

 

“Can we talk about how to try and get things back to normal?” Marty interrupts them.

 

“You can talk, Justin and I agree that we need to allow free will to guide us.” Brian tells him.

 

“I had to stop you from killing Justin a second time, maybe a little less free will and be willing to turn right when I tell you.” Marty tells us.

 

“So where are you supposed to be right now?” Emmett asks us.

 

“I’m supposed to act like an asshole and string Justin along. Justin is supposed to stalk my ass, while I pretend that it didn’t thrill me he was after me. You were supposed to meet a hustler, who you thought was a potential boyfriend and bring him to Mel and Lindsay’s party. Then Michael and Ted lie to you and tell you the guy, who only speaks Japanese, is saying he loves you. What he was actually doing is asking for payment. We then go to Babylon, where the twat steals my tricks and I steal him back from them, we fuck ourselves silly and I go back to pushing and pulling him around for the next five years. Ted was supposed to take GHB with Blake the night he met him and end up in a coma, I did get to fuck the nurse though, that was fun. Ted woke up to it. I always said he liked to watch.” Brian tells him.

 

“So Ted isn’t going to do that, right?” Emmett makes sure, he really loved Ted.

 

“It was erased from existence.” Marty tells Emmett.

 

“So you two don’t let Lindsay convince Brian to send Justin to New York and everything is fine.” Emmett simplifies it for us.

 

“It would be, but these two changed things that has the future is going in different directions with each change. Instead of Justin’s mother taking him to see a psychiatrist who shouldn’t be practicing, she took him to see Alex Wilder. Justin’s dad doesn’t find out and start terrorizing Brian. Justin moved in months ahead of schedule. Every time I see a timeline emerge, it splits off in a different direction. The direction they need to go in is hazy.” Marty tells us.

 

“Kira is still there, we didn’t screw that up?” Brian asks Marty. He wants to know that we didn’t ruin that.

 

“She is so far, but if you two don’t stop messing with things, she could stay where she is.” Marty tells us.

 

“Okay, who’s Kira?” Emmett asks us. I look at Marty for permission. He nods at me.

 

“She will someday be our daughter.” I tell Emmett.

 

“You and Brian are going to have a kid?” Emmett asks me.

 

“If they don’t fuck it all up.” Marty tells us.

 

“Wait a second, why are you trying so hard to make us follow your path?” I ask him. Marty sits silent for the first time. What isn’t he telling me? “What the hell are you doing Marty?” I ask him.

 

“I found out something, and if you two don’t listen, it’s going change someone in the group’s life.” He tells us.

 

“Why don’t you explain it to us Marty, use little words so we all get it. I’m am not going to continue to be held hostage to your whims.” Brian tells him.

 

“Don’t accuse me of trying to manipulate you. Hunter is on the line. He ends up going home with the cop, while Ben and Michael try convince him to straighten out his life. He couldn’t resist the money. He ends up in an abandoned warehouse, nobody ever finds out what happened to him.” Marty tells us.

 

“I thought Rikert only killed that kid by accident?” Justin asks.

 

“He did, but Hunter is a mouthy shit. He threatened to tell everyone about Rikert liking little boys, Rikert did the thing that worked the first time.” Marty tells us.

 

“Michael actually tried to help a hustler?” Emmett asks in disbelief.

 

“He adopts the kid.” Brian tells Emmett.

 

“We are talking about Michael Novotny right?” Emmett asks him.

 

“He changes when he meets Ben.” Justin tells Emmett.

 

“Not all that much, he wanted to act like he was better than everyone, because Ben was so smart. It’s like a rerun of David, Michael suddenly thinks he’s too good for all of us. He shits on us and then we all forgive him, without Michael having to apologize to anyone for acting like a shit. It happens over and over with me having to take the fucking blame for Michael being a jackass. He would have left that kid to die, if Ben hadn’t made him help.” Brian’s voice raised as he was talking.

 

“Why are you so angry? You let your best friend get away with the shit he pulled too.” I tell him.

 

“I forgave him for something he said that makes me an asshole. I’m angry now that I did it.” Brian tells me.

 

“It doesn’t matter anymore, you are going to change it so he couldn’t say it.” Marty tells him.

 

“Look, as much fun as this has been, unless you have any more dire warnings, I’d like to fuck Justin before morning.” Brian tells them.

 

“Meet at the diner in the morning?” Emmett asks Brian.

 

“We’ll be there, hopefully Michael will be too busy playing the concerned friend to remember he hates Justin.” Brian tells Emmett.

 

BRIAN

 

Fuck why does Marty want it to be our responsibility to keep everyone safe? I can’t let Hunter die like that, he ended up being the only one who could get Michael to see reason. Not that that is my only reason, I genuinely like the kid, he was abused, but instead of pissing and whining he took control of his life. 

 

“Justin, we aren’t going to let anyone tell us what to do.” I tell him.

 

“I can’t let Hunter get killed, Brian.” Justin tells me.

 

“I’m not saying that, I’m just saying that we live our life and try to keep everyone on track.” I tell him.

 

“Doesn’t Michael meet David soon?” Justin asks me.

 

“I think so, just not sure exactly when it happens.” I tell him.

 

“I only have one thing to say about David and Michael.” He tells me.

 

“What?” I ask him.

 

“We bring the cheese to the boring as hell slideshow.” Justin smiles at me. Yeah, that shit Michael served really sucked.

 

 

 

 

BRIAN

 

We got up in the morning and headed to the diner, Justin wanted a lumberjack special. I almost hope he has to fight his weight later in life. We walked in to Deb commenting,

 

“I’ve been trying to call you all weekend. Couldn’t get your dick out of Sunshine’s ass long enough to answer the phone?” Deb smiles and pinches Justin’s cheeks.

 

“Hey Deb, we’ve been dealing with your son and Lindsay the last two days.” Justin tells her.

 

“Sweetie, they come with Brian.” She tells him.

 

“Not if I have anything to say about it. I will not put Justin through the shit those two spew all over everyone.” I tell her.

 

“Just be prepared for them to fight you on it. I told them all this shit is going to stop.” Deb tells us.

 

“Maybe we’ll get lucky and Mikey will find a date.” I tell her.

 

“From your lips to God’s ears, maybe then he’ll quit chasing after you.” Deb tells us.

 

“I need to feed Sunshine or he’ll go to school hungry.” I tell her.

 

“Have a seat, one lumberjack special coming up. You want your usual?” She ask me.

 

“How did you know I wanted a lumberjack Deb?” Justin asks her.

 

“You’re with Brian, he tends to suck all the energy out of his tricks.” She tells Justin. 

 

“Deb, Justin isn’t a trick.” I tell her.

 

“Didn’t say he was, I just know what a night with you does to a guy. They all end up here and eat like they haven’t had food in days.” Deb tells me. 

 

I drag a giggling Justin to a booth and he gets up and goes to get the coffee. Can take the kid out of the diner but can’t take the diner out of the kid.

 

“Sunshine, I’ll do that.” She tells him.

 

“I don’t mind, you're going to have your hands full in a couple minutes.” He tells her.

 

“You need a job?” She tells him as he wanders around taking care of everyone. 

 

“I probably will, because my parents aren’t going to support me soon.” He tells her.

 

“Come by after school and I’ll get you started.” She tells him.

 

Justin finally puts down the coffee and sits with me. “Why are you trying to get a job?” I ask him.

 

“I’m going to contribute as much as I can.” He tells me.

 

“Justin, I never minded taking care of you.” I tell him.

 

“I don’t want everyone accusing me of sponging off of you.” He tells me.

 

“Why do you care what they think?” He never seem to care before.

 

“It’s just one more strike against me, I won’t let Michael accuse me of using you for your money.” He tells me.

 

“I’m not going to take your money.” I tell him. I want him to concentrate on school. Maybe he can graduate this time.

 

“Then put it in an account to stop Stockwell. It should be at least ten thousand of the hundred thousand you're going to spend.” Justin tells me.

 

“Who’s Stockwell?” Ted asks as he and Blake sit down. 

 

Guess Ted is keeping Blake around. I hope he enjoys trying to clean up the mess that is Blake right now. 

 

“Just some prick.” I tell them.

 

“Hey guys.” Emmett tells us as he scoots me over.

 

“Emmett, this is Blake.” Ted introduces them.

 

“Sweetie, you really need to lay off the crystal.” Emmett tells Blake.

 

“Emmett, what the hell?” Ted asks him.

 

“I’m trying to get help, Ted and I talked about it.” Blake tells Emmett.

 

“Where’s Michael?” I ask Emmett.

 

“He went to work, he told me it’s going to be a late night. Inventory I think.” Emmett tells us.

 

“Here you go boys, I’ll get yours in a sec, Emmett.” Deb tells us.

 

I look at the door and see Jen walking in. Guess it’s time to meet the parents. I nudge Justin. He looks at his mother and waits as she tries to get to the table. Poor Jen isn’t used to this scene.

 

“Justin, can we talk?” She asks him. Justin climbs over me and gets out of the booth.

 

“Who’s that?” Deb asks us.

 

“Justin’s mother.” I tell her. Jen looks at me and I can see her trying to place me.

 

“If you want to talk Mom, let’s go outside.” Justin tells her.

 

Justin turns and walks out the door, his mother stands there for a second, then turns to catch Justin.

 

JUSTIN

 

I almost wanted to ask how she found me, but she probably came in here to see if anyone had seen me. I want her to be the mom she became, but it’s going to take her time. I also don’t want to be the jackass I was to her. I want to try to make this easier on her.

 

“Justin, you need to come home. We need to talk as a family.” She tells me.

 

“I’ll come home, but when Dad does what I already told you he would, don’t expect me to come back. Mom, I love you, I just want you to know that.” I tell her.

 

“Justin I love you too.” She tells me. I let her hug me.

 

“Mom, maybe it would help you to talk to someone who went through this.” I whisper in her ear.

 

“Who would I talk to, nobody would admit to it in our circle.” She tells me.

 

“Deb, the waitress in the diner, her son Michael is gay.” I tell her.

 

“I don’t know if it will help.” She squeezes me tighter.

 

“You could come to the art show at the GLC, someone wants to hang my art in the show.” I offer her. I can’t help it, she tried so hard to keep our family from falling apart. I want to try to make this easier for her.

 

“Mom, just tell Dad. It’s going to get ugly, and just be happy that I’m not going to say anything that is going to make it worse.” I tell her.

 

“Justin, you want me to wrap up your breakfast?” Deb comes out and asks.

 

“Yes, but come and meet my mom. Mom this is Deb, the woman I was telling you about.” I tell my mom.

 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Deb tells her.

 

“Justin told me you have a son that’s…” Mom still can’t say it.

 

“Is gay, yes. Sweetheart if you don’t say it, it doesn’t make it any less true.” Deb always knew how to throw it in your face.

 

“I don’t care, he’s my son and I love him, no matter what.” Mom tells me. I smile because she proved that later.

 

“Love him and you’ll never lose him. If you ever need to talk, I’m here. Sunshine, I’ll get your food packed up. Let your mother take you to school. I’ll make sure Brian understands.” Deb tells me.

 

“Is Brian your…” Mom is trying.

 

“Yes, but maybe you could meet him when it won’t freak you out.” I tell her.

 

“I hope he’s not that man you were sitting with, he’s too old for you.” She tells me. I wanted to ask her about stud boy Tucker, but right now she won’t have a clue what I’m talking about. 

 

“He’s not that old.” I tell her.

 

“You know what, I think you're right, I’m not ready for that yet.” She tells me.

 

I wait for Deb to bring my food, Mom keeps staring at Brian, I look at him. If I was her, would I have been able to get past his age? I really can’t say I could, shit this sucks. Brian comes outside, he wasn’t going to hide, it went against everything he believes in.

 

“Mrs. Taylor, I wanted to introduce myself, Brian Kinney.” Brian says, extending his hand to my mom.What is Brian up to?

 

“Jennifer, if you're going to be in my son’s life, it’s Jennifer. You fucking hurt my son and I’ll make sure you regret it.” Mom tells Brian, shaking his hand.

 

“I love your son, if that helps at all.” Brian tells her.

 

“I’ll reserve judgement on that. I think it would be better not to mention your boyfriend to your father.” Mom tells me.

 

“I’m not going to talk to him.” I tell her.

 

“Justin’s going to be late for school, and I have to get to work.” Brian leans over and pecks me on the lips. He’s being awfully reserved for Brian.

 

“I loved your mother, she accepted me.” He whispers to me.

 

“Jennifer, maybe we could have dinner one night?” Brian offers.

 

“Let’s hope my husband takes this conversation well, but I’ll take you up on that.” She tells him.

 

I get my breakfast from Brian and drag my mother to the car. She keeps looking at him.

 

“I swear I’ve seen him somewhere.” She tells me.

 

“He lives here, so you most likely have.” I tell her. 

 

“Justin, I don’t know if I can approve of you dating a grown man.” She tells me.

 

“I turn eighteen soon, so it won’t matter if you approve or not.” I tell her.

 

“How long have you known this man?” She asks me.

 

“A while, but we just recently started a relationship.” I would love to tell her a century or two, but I doubt she’d believe me.

 

“I don’t understand what he would see in a child…” Mom stops then says, “I can’t not judge him for this.” 

 

“You're my mom, you’ll never really approve of anyone. He takes care of me, does that help?” I ask her.

 

We arrive in front of the school. One of the assholes yells faggot at me. Mom jumped out of the car and wanted him to repeat what he just said. The guy rolls his eyes and walks into the school.

 

“Are you being bullied?” She asks me.

 

“Mom, it’s been going on for years. I’m almost done, then I won’t have to put up with this anymore.” I tell her.

 

“I should talk to your principal.” She tells me.

 

“They are all homophobic assholes Mom, it won’t help.” I tell her.

 

“Justin.” She wants to do something.

 

“Trust me, I can deal with this. Go home and wait for Dad. Call me if you need me.” I tell her. 

 

She gets back in the car and I can tell she wants to go into the school, but nothing got better, so it was just a useless exercise. She pulls away and I hope she isn’t too disappointed when Craig acts like I predicted.

 

 

JUSTIN

 

You’ll never guess what happened. My dad is okay with me being gay. He also thinks that Brian will make a great son-in-law one day. If you believe even one word of that, you live in a dream world. Dad wanted Mom to tell him where I was so he could drag me off to military school. Guess some things are always going to stay the same. Well, except that my mom is trying.

 

I dragged Daphne with me to meet the munchers this time, instead of sending her home. I always wondered what her first impression of them would be like. Unfortunately for us, Mel wasn’t being her happy, shiny self. She barely looked up from the brief she was reading and only answered if we spoke directly to her. Lindsay was talking up my sketches being in the art show. She seemed to just ignore the fact that Mel wouldn’t acknowledge her. Daphne asked if we could go hang with Emmett.

 

Michael met David, but until David shows up at the Big Q, we are stuck with Michael. Brian told me, Michael shows up tonight wearing twink clothes, I have to see this. Michael has actually been really nice, unless Brian touches me at all. Emmett wants to know what’s different every time we get together. So far we are following the last time, well except that Brian and I live together and he isn’t pushing me away. 

 

He did end up meeting the old perv, the one who wanted Brian to fuck him for his account. Brian  took him to Babylon, then the guy tried to get Brian to meet him at his hotel. Brian told him he could meet him at Babylon, but he wouldn’t mix business with pleasure. Marv ended up going into the backroom and telling Brian that he needed to tell Ryder he didn’t get the account. Brian told me the guy never planned on giving him the account anyway. Emmett was telling me that he could never be interested in an old guy. I wanted to tell him about George, who ended up being someone Emmett really loved. 

 

Marilyn told Brian that he at least needs to show up and meet David. Brian told her he’d bring David a thank you gift for getting Michael to leave him alone. Marilyn looked at Brian.

 

“Do you know why Michael stayed with David in the beginning don’t you?” She asked him.

 

“Because someone actually asked Michael to go steady.” Brian tells her.

 

“No, because you were jealous. Michael was able to watch you get upset over him with someone else.” She tells Brian.

 

“I wasn’t jealous, I just knew David was an asshole.” Brian tells her.

 

“Without meeting him?” She asks him.

 

“Just listening to Michael, David was looking for a wife. Looking back, Michael fit the bill. At the time, I didn’t see the things I do now.” Brian tells her.

 

“Just go do the things you did. They’ll have the relationship. You’ll get to have some peace and quiet.” She tells him.

 

“Was Michael like this with you in the beginning, Justin. One minute petty and jealous and the next nice?” Brian asks me.

 

“Yes, if it didn’t involve you, we were fine. It was just any suggestion that you and I were more than fuckbuddies and he turned into a dick.” I tell him.

 

“When did it change?” Brian asks me.

 

“In the early years anytime Michael wanted me to do something for him. Later we learn to accept our roles in your life.” I tell Brian.

 

Brian took Marilyn suggestion as, “Go be a dick to David and all would go well”. 

 

BRIAN

 

Lindsay showed up and tried to invite me to dinner with her and Mel. She thinks Mel and I need to spend time together, since we were going to parent Gus. She tries to convince me that eating chicken marinated in garlic was to die for, I told her I’d be there. Figured I’d set her up for the disappointment of me not showing, so she would quit trying to pit me against Mel. I could go see Gus later.

 

I waited for Michael to show up in the eighties reject outfit, for his first date with David. Michael always wanted to hide his sexuality, yet he traveled across town looking like a big nelly bottom. I grab the outfit and wait for him to knock, I just love that he and Lindsay have to knock now. He should get here soon, Justin wanted to see the outfit that they put Michael in, so he stayed to see it. Finally Michael knocks on the door. I open it and it’s really just as funny as the last time. Justin snorts and then tells me he’ll see me at Babylon. The twat looked one more time and we both start laughing. I push Justin out the door and attend to my child.

 

“Oh shut up.” Michael tells us both.

 

“Who did this to you? Let me guess, Emmett de la Renta.” I always loved saying that. We purposely didn’t tell Emmett not to dress Michael.

 

“I should have just worn jeans, but Emmett said ‘no you can’t go on a date like that’.” Michael tells me.

 

“You got a date, Mikey has a date.” I tell him.

 

“I think I’m going to cancel.” He whines to me.

 

“Why? Go try to see if you have anything to work with.” I tell him. Is Michael stuck in rewind? I changed my words but he just keeps saying his.

 

“I shouldn’t have said yes.” He tells me.

 

“Why, are you going to live your entire life hiding?” I tell him. He tells me David was old. Shit maybe I should just stay silent, he is going to keep up the same conversation. 

 

I get him dressed and it was like dressing a kid. He complained the sleeves were too long and I had to fold them for him. I finally get him out the door and go to meet Justin at Babylon. I was watching Justin dance with Emmett and Ted, when I see Marv licking a twinks tonsils. I tell Marv he should call his wife, she was looking for him. I hate that he put his dick before his kid, he most likely won’t call her.

 

I walk down the stairs and grab Justin, I wanted to go see Gus. Justin and I arrive at Lindsay’s door, she tried to keep us out, but in the end let us in. I layed there with Justin and Gus, Lindsay stood there staring at us. She didn’t seem happy that I brought Justin with me.

 

“Brian can we talk in the kitchen.” She orders me.

 

“Sure.” I tell her. I hand Gus to Justin, “Hold our son” I whisper in his ear. Lindsay walks us to the kitchen and shuts the door.

 

“You didn’t show up for dinner, and when you finally do show up you bring Justin with you. I want you to spend time with Mel. You two need to figure out how to parent Gus together.” She tells me. Last time she offered me dinner, guess I’ll have to pick up something for Justin on the way home.

 

“Lately Mel and I have been doing fine. If you want to solve your problems with Mel, maybe you should have asked me to watch Gus so you two could spend some time alone together.” I tell her.

 

“Mel and I are fine. It’s you two trying to prove who I love more that is causing all the problems.” She tells me.

 

“That isn’t the impression I was left with when she and I talked.” I tell her.

 

“You and Mel talking, that will be the day.” She tells me.

 

“Mel and I figured out that instead of letting you play us against each other, we’d talk to each other.” I tell her.

 

“I don’t do that, I’m probably the only reason you can see Gus.” She tells me.

 

“I’m still legally Gus’s father, you couldn’t stop me if you wanted to.” I tell her.

 

“You really think anybody would give you the right to see Gus. You're fucking a seventeen year old kid, your life is a series of tricks, and you take practically anything you can get your hands on.” She tells me. Wendy is showing her true colors.

 

“Temper, temper. Why are you upset? Is it because Mel and I aren’t fighting over you?” I ask her.

 

“Brian, I was hoping you would come to your senses about Justin. He needs to meet someone closer to his age.” She tells me.

 

“Wait, could you answer my questions about me and Mel?” I ask her. 

 

“Look, I’m going to bed. You can bring Gus to bed and lock up.” Lindsay tells me. She walks off, without ever answering my question. 

 

I walk back to the living room to see Mel sitting with Justin.

 

“Did we wake you?” I ask her.

 

“No, I’ve been sitting upstairs all night, to avoid Lindsay. I came down to see why she took Gus from the crib.” She tells me.

 

“Have you decided anything?” I ask her.

 

“I’m trying to salvage my relationship. Up until this weekend, I thought we were doing fine. I could blame you and Lindsay would defend you. Now it’s like we are changing places. When you didn’t show tonight, I had to calm her down. She sat at the table trying to convince me you wouldn’t skip out on her. I told her that inviting you and not Justin was rude. She wasn’t happy about me saying that.” Mel tells me.

 

“She still thinks that I’m going to change my mind about Justin.” I tell Mel.

 

“Brian, honestly we all think that.” Mel tells me.

 

“I hope you are willing to eat your words when Justin is still here. We’re going to go home, I really don’t want to enter the muncher sanctuary to put Gus to bed.” I tell her.

 

 

I take Gus and give him a kiss and hand him to Mel. Justin leans down and kisses Gus’s head, then surprises Mel and pecks her on the lips.

 

“Don’t compromise yourself for something called love.” He tells her.

 

I get Justin out the door, before he helps Mel pack her bags. 

 

“You know Mel became a great mother to Gus. I’d like her to still be around.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, I love Mel. If I was into women, I would have chased her.” Justin tells me. 

 

“I like Mel, but there is no way I would have wanted to fuck her.” I tell Justin.

 

“Of course not, it would be like fucking yourself.” Twat answers.

 

“I’d fuck me, just not Mel.” I shiver.

 

“Brian if there were two of you, no one in the world would be safe. You and your twin would be too busy trying to out trick each other.” Justin tells me.

 

“Like you don’t dream about the possibility.” I tell him. 

 

“You know, you really should talk to someone about your confidence problem.” Justin tells me.

 

“You should talk to someone about the fact that you’re a twat.” I tell him.

 

We get to the loft and I still can’t shake of the idea of Justin and Melanie, so not going to happen. I think about it for a second.

 

“Justin, don’t let them talk you into a baby.” I tell him. 

 

“That is only something you and Michael could get talked into. I would rather raise my kid.” He tells me.

 

“Hey, you love our kids.” I point out.

 

“Jenny and Gus are the only good thing that came out of that mess.” Justin tells me.

 

“Why does that make Michael and me less smart than you?” I ask him.

 

“I would have had it written in stone the day they took my baby makers, that I had rights to my kid. You two morons spent more time being jerked around. Learn to push at the right time and the results change.” Justin tells me.

 

“Think about that Justin, how did she know to push at the right time?” I ask him.

“Are we talking about Gus?” He asks me.

 

“No, New York.” I tell him.

 

“You changed, she didn’t like it. When she talks to you, she always gets you to think you're being unreasonable. She gives suggestions and then when that doesn’t work she hit me with you. You wouldn’t let me give up the possibility, if you thought it was best.” Justin tells me.

 

“I just don’t see anything she gained.” I tell him.

 

“I don’t know, it hasn’t happened so we can’t tie her to a chair and make her tell us why.” Justin tells me.

 

“How does Ethan know anything?” I ask him.

 

“Fuck, we need to find Marilyn, Ethan is harmless. Unlike Lindsay, if he knew the future, Ethan would fuck with us, but in the end he would try to achieve fame earlier.” Justin tells me.

 

I don’t tell Justin I went looking for the fucker. He seems to have vanished into thin air. 

BRIAN

 

Justin and I were laying around the loft, he had the GLC show tonight. Michael whined about not getting laid at the comic shop and I made him go talk to David. I wanted to be able get Michael into high society, the place none of us were invited to. So far it’s going to plan. Michael got laid and suddenly David isn’t some old dude he took pity on. We should see them tonight at the show. Emmett was a little pissed that we didn’t tell him about the whole outfit, he spent a lot of time on it. I asked if he was trying to keep Michael single. 

 

Justin talked to his mother and she wanted to come to the show. He made sure Daddy Dearest wasn’t coming. She told him she wasn’t ready to give him a heart attack yet. Lindsay wanted Justin to spend the day with her, Justin told her he was coming with Daphne to hang the sketches but otherwise consider him busy.

 

 Marilyn has been hiding from us, Justin told me we could find him after the show tonight. Then he said “Marilyn you better be available”, into the air.

 

Ted and Blake are still going strong, I guess a crystal queen would be better than smelly Roger. Emmett was happy that he didn’t have to relive that memory. Justin told Emmett that we should all go to ‘See the Light’. Emmett and Justin were talking about it, I swear they are children.

 

 Justin leans over and kisses me when there is a knock on the door. 

 

“It’s Daphne, we’ll be at the GLC most of the afternoon.” Justin tells me.

 

“Don’t let her run off with any lesbians.” I tell him.

 

“She just wanted to do something cool.” Justin tells me.

 

“I’m going to find old Marilyn and tie her to a chair if I have to. It seems interesting that she isn’t anywhere.” I tell him.

 

“You don’t get to hide from Michael tonight.” Justin tells me.

 

“I don’t want to hit on David. Can’t we just get someone else to do it?” I whine my best Mikey whine.

 

“Sure, pick anyone you want, but you have to deal with your best friend after.” Justin tells me.

 

“You know, you could have held me when you said that.” I tell him.

 

“When did you grow a twat?” He asks me.

 

“In 2025 I think, you wouldn’t know because you weren’t there.” I joke with him. Justin told me to stop dwelling on the past/future as if we were going to relive it. We started joking around about what was going on during those times. 

 

Justin answers the loft door and Daphne walks in. I forgot she was there, she only knocked once, unlike the other two, who will pound on the door like I’m senile and will forget to answer if they stop. Justin told her he’d be back in a minute and runs to the bathroom.

 

“Hey beautiful, going to take a walk on the wildside?” I ask her.

 

“Yeah, the fact is though that if I see a hot guy, it’s a waste of time for me to look.” She tells me.

 

“Hey some of the guys swing both ways.” I tell her.

 

“You ever swing both ways?” Daphne smirked at me.

 

“In college, and I still haven’t gotten the supposed lesbian to stop wanting my dick.” I tell her.

 

“Learn anything from that?” Daphne asks me.

 

“Yeah, don’t get drunk and stoned until I am sure who is in the bed.” I tell her.

 

“Oh please, you told Lindsey it was fun.” Justin comes out of the bathroom. 

 

“It was fine, it was after that it became a pain in the ass. Lindsey started planning my life with her.” I tell Justin.

 

“When did that happen Brian?” Justin asks me.

 

“The next morning.” I tell him.

 

“I’ve never heard that before.” Justin tells me.

 

“Justin, you’ve been together a couple weeks, Brian probably hasn’t told you a lot of things.” Daphne tells Justin.

 

“Yeah, I guess.” Justin walks up to me and kisses me goodbye. He and Daphne head to the GLC.

 

“Marilyn, if you can hear this, you better not make me find you.” I say out loud in the loft. I smile as the phone rings.

 

“I look after other people too. Not everything is about you two.” Marilyn tells me.

 

“I could care less if a fat exec thinks he looks good in a speedo, you agreed to help us.” I tell her.

 

“I am helping, there are just some things that defy explanation. You and Justin can’t seem to stick to anything. I know you're trying to get out of seeing David and Michael.” She tells me.

 

“I’ll go, but you have to talk.” I tell her.

 

“What do you want me to say, her timing was perfect because you were changing. Think about her comment, you were being tamed. She wanted you to continue to live the way you were. Did she set out to split you two up, yes, okay. Not because of you, but so Justin could accomplish what she never could.” Marilyn tells me.

 

“So what the hell is with all the warnings? Like Emmett said, Justin doesn’t get on the fucking plane.” I tell her.

 

“Duh, I swear you two are dense, we obviously keep Justin off the plane.. That’s not the issue. The issue is someone changed your life.” Marilyn tells me.

 

“Hey you seen Ethan lately?” I ask her.

 

“Don’t worry about him, he got sent home without his memory. He’ll show up, but he doesn’t get foreknowledge this time. He got in trouble for trying to interfere with you.” She tells me.

 

“You're not very helpful, hey, there is something you might be able to help with.” I tell her.

 

“Wasn’t she always possessive?” Marilyn asks me.

 

“Sometimes, it calmed down after she meet Mel. Although, the two of them are headed for trouble.” I tell her.

 

“Brian, when weren’t they?” She has a point.

 

“Another don’t worry about?” I ask her.

 

“Um, yes?” Marilyn tells me.

 

“What the fuck is going to happen now?” I ask her.

 

“You remember they break up soon, right?” she asks me.

 

“So what doom and gloom are you going to spread now?” I ask her.

 

“Nothing, you’re just about to get rid of Michael. I don’t want to be blamed for the fact that Lindsay is going to start hanging around more.” She tells me.

 

“What is it, I get rid of one whiny bitch and I get to deal with the other?” I really wasn’t asking.

 

“Quit bitching and go deal with Michael.” She tells me.

 

“You do know she has been extra bitchy lately?” I tell her.

 

“You're the one who changed her. If you had let her think it was her idea, she would have supported you two.” She tells me.

 

“You know what, I have a plan, later.” I hang up. I need to call Justin.

 

JUSTIN

 

Lindsay and Mel were here when I got to the GLC . I grabbed Mel and asked her to help me and Daphne. Lindsay tried to get involved in helping us, but Mel just looked at her. I guess they are still going at it. Mel and Daphne went with the other girl to get a drink, I think Lindsay was waiting for it.

 

“Justin, can we talk?” She asks me.

 

“Talk away Lindsay.” I tell her.

 

“I wanted to have a private conversation.” She tells me.

 

I get up and follow her to an empty room. She sits down and offers me a seat, like it’s her house. I sit across from her, instead of next to her like she wanted.

 

“I was hoping you would interact with more of the younger guys here.” She tells me.

 

“Why? I doubt they want to trick with Brian and I.” I tell her. 

 

“You should tell Brian you don’t want that, and that he needs to spend more time with Gus. Lately he hasn’t visited like I expected. He is the one who wants to be a father, it’s time he fulfills the role. Don’t you agree?” She tells me.

 

“It’s not really my business Lindsay.” I tell her. She really thinks I’m going to get sucked into Lindsay’s version of right and wrong.

 

“My son is being neglected by his father because he is spending all his time with you.” She tells me. 

 

“I thought you and Mel wanted it like that.” I tell her.

 

“I was fine with it, until Brian started playing the dad card to ruin our lives. Mel and I aren’t doing well, because Brian wants to keep bringing up his rights.” She tells me.

 

“I swear, it’s like you have split personalities, one minute you're up Brian’s ass and then it's Mel’s twat. Make up your fucking mind.” I don’t know why I can’t control my anger at her.

 

“Who do you think you are to question an adult relationship?” She keeps looking down her nose at me, I’ll show her what a real WASP IS capable of.

 

“The only adult in this room. I mean you if can’t get me to agree to something, your next move is Brian. If that doesn’t work you work Mel up, until she acts like a bitch. You don’t think I can see below the surface, although with you it’s shallow. You learned to hide your cunty actions with smiles.” I tell her.

 

“I have never tried to hurt your relationship, I have supported you and Brian. I can’t help that neither of you two could keep your dicks in your pants. I can’t help that when I give you advice you act like you know better.” She starts getting louder.

 

“You really love playing us don’t you? What’s wrong Lindsay, don’t have an article to get rid of me with.” I taunt her.

 

“Why the fuck were you still able to have it all? I get stuck in Canada, where my life stagnated. You didn’t take a fucking opportunity of a lifetime, yet you still succeeded. How was that fucking fair?” she snaps at me.

 

“YOU BITCH!” I yell at her. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MARILYN

 

Like I would let a fat exec wear speedos, I was painting my nails when Justin yelled at me. I could hide longer if I want. When Brian called out though, I knew that if I didn’t answer he’d find me. There are only so many places I could go on Liberty Avenue.  Of course, all it would take was Brian turning on the charm and everyone would tell him where I am. I tell Brian enough to hopefully help him calm Lindsay down. Vic and I didn’t want them to find out the truth. Justin mad is something I can handle, because Justin will see reason. Brian will make my life a complete hell, and he never forgets you fucked with him.

 

I just finished my first hand and was about to start the next one, when I see Lindsay and Justin walking into a room together. Hmmm, that wasn’t supposed to happen. I listen to the conversation and Justin starts getting angrier at Lindsay. I was trying to figure out what they were fighting about when Justin brings up the article. I waited for Lindsay to ask him what he was talking about but I think Justin triggered her memory. I had to get there before she was able to tell him what she did. Brian and Justin aren’t going to forgive Vic and Deb for this.

 

I wish I could change clothes but at the rate Justin is going, he might choke Lindsay to death before we can stop him.

 

BRIAN

 

I was driving to get Justin some food before I have to go act like a jealous friend at Woody’s. I called to see if Daphne wanted anything, Daphne answered Justin’s phone. 

 

“Hey Brian, I accidently took Justin’s phone when I went to get a drink.” Daphne tells me.

 

“You decided to see if pussy was for you?” I joke with her.

 

“At least I could have gotten some. I’m about to enter the building that your loverboy is in, you still want to talk to Justin when I get there?” She asks me.

 

“Tell Loverboy, I’m bringing him some fatty bad food for him, you want anything?”  I ask her.

 

“Hold on a minute, something is going on in one of the rooms.” Daphne tells me. I can hear yelling but it’s muted. I hear Daphne ask if that was Justin. Mel tells her yes, but the other person yelling was Lindsay. I call for Daphne to pick up the phone, and tell me what’s going on. She ask me to wait a second, she is trying to hear why they are yelling at each other.

 

“Brian, you need to get over here, Justin and Lindsay are starting to scream at each other in the other room, everyone is trying to get them to open the door.” Daphne tells me.

 

“I can be there in five minutes, but stay on and tell me if you can figure out what their yelling about.” What the hell, I know she’s been a bitch lately but usually Justin ignores her.

 

“Something about an article and then I don’t understand Lindsay’s screeching. Shit, Justin just called her a bitch.” Daphne tells me.

 

“Can you get in the room and keep Justin from killing her?” I ask Daphne. The only article that would cause Justin to turn into a shrew is the one that cunt showed me.

 

“We’re trying, some chick named Tannis is looking for the key.” Daphne tells me.

 

“I’m almost there, see if you can get Justin to the door.” I tell her. I pull up to the door and park there, fuck the ticket. “Daphne, I’m running in the front.” I tell her as I hang up.

 

I can hear them screaming at each other from the front door. Justin is using language even I could blush at, fuck, what else is going to happen. I pass the group just standing around staring at the door, the fucking idiots think gawking is going to get the door open. Tannis is standing there with a key but seems to be in shock. I wanted to tell the cunt that even gay people curse, but from the sounds in that room, Lindsay might be a step away from Justin turning into Rage. I push Tannis out of the way and yell to Justin to open the door. When they get louder, I started slamming against the door to get in. The door finally opens and the two of them stopped yelling and stared at me. I slam the door shut and lean back on it. 

 

“Somebody in this room want to tell me why you two are screaming like banshees?” I ask them both. Lindsay turned away and refused to utter a sound. She thinks I’m going to let her get away with this.

 

“How about the fact that the goddamned cunt over there was so unhappy in her own life that she fucking ruined everything for us.” Justin yells.

 

“You want to explain that to me Lindsay, because if it’s what I think this is about, you won’t leave this room” I tell her. 

 

Someone knocks on the door and I hear Marilyn asking to come in. 

 

“Fuck you Marilyn, you knew.” Justin yells at her. 

 

“I didn’t know, I promise that I didn’t.” She yells through the door.

 

“You know what Marilyn, how about I explain to Brian what I just found out about Lindsay. Can you promise you don’t fucking know now?” Justin tells Marilyn.

 

I stood up straight and opened the door. Marilyn has some explaining to do. Marilyn looked like a cross between Marty and Marilyn, guess she couldn’t change, trying to get here on time. Too bad she about a minute too late.

 

“Look, I knew Lindsay had some of her future in her head but I never thought she could get it to come out.” She tells us. I yank her in and lean on the door to keep the gossip mongers out.

 

“Did you know that she was pissed that I didn’t go to New York but was still successful? Did you know that she wanted to prove something, by putting me on the fucking plane? Maybe you could finally tell me the fucking truth sometime before my next life, because I am owed some fucking answers.” Justin tells Marilyn. Marilyn was about to say something but Vic appears.

 

“Lindsay convinced me and Deb to help her come back in hopes that she and Mel stayed together. In the future, Lindsay and Mel split for good when they move. Not the future you remember Brian, the one that you and Justin should have had. She ended up go back to Sam, when all of you were too busy for her. She ends up losing everything including Gus. Gus ends up leaving to live with you and Justin, because she was too busy trying get you to be like the Brian she knew. She ended up dying of an overdose. She was in purgatory, Deb wanted to see Lindsay, so I took her there. Lindsay talked us into letting her go back to try to correct the things she did wrong. She tried to change everything, starting with Brian and her relationship, she thought Brian might be willing to give her a chance if she got pregnant at college. I was able to stop that. She still wanted Justin and you to meet, but she wanted to be more involved in Justin’s life.  When it came time for Mel to get pregnant, she wanted you to be the father Brian, but Lindsay tried to talk Mel into Justin. She didn’t want Michael being JR’s dad. Justin didn’t go to New York in her future, so she took the article to you this time, she didn’t the last time. She was able to change what she thought were mistakes. She spent years making sure you trusted her Brian, she kept you and Michael dependent on each other, because she knew Justin and you had problems because of that, and Justin turned to her and Mel when that happened. It made it easier to get Justin to listen to her all those years. When we allowed you to come back it was with the same kind of knowledge she had. She had years to work on Brian and turn him into the man he became, by giving you the knowledge of what your friends were like and allowing that Brian was coming back and would see his friends differently, I felt it leveled the playing field. We couldn’t stop her once she got to relive her life, Big Guy was pissed that we did it. He told me that it was time for Deb and I to see what happens when you meddle in someone’s life. Brian when you died he let us send you back because he wanted you to have a chance to live the correct life. Lindsay wasn’t supposed to remember any of it.” Vic tells me.

 

“You didn’t think that was important to tell us.” Marilyn looks pissed.

 

“No, I thought Brian wouldn’t hold the future against them.” Vic tells us.

 

“Is that why you keep coming to me, so I would stay friends with people who treat me like an object?” I ask him.

 

“I was trying to help Brian, it was Deb and me who helped her go back.” Vic tells us.

 

“You let this selfish, self serving cunt fuck with my life, and am I supposed to thank you for your help this time?” I ask Vic.

 

“The Big Guy already gave Deb and I this speech. I don’t need it from you too.” Vic tells me.

 

“You know what Vic, I honestly don’t give a shit what you need. You and Deb let Lindsay come back and fuck up my life. Deb always acted like I owed your family for everything you did, was that the price for your kindness? Vic, no matter what everyone called me, they never called me stupid. This has Deb written all over it.” I ask him.

 

“Deb thought she was helping Lindsay. You know how she feels about mothers.” Vic tells us.

 

“I guess since Brian and I are fathers, we didn’t count? Lindsay knew that we were still together and that we would have a child. Yet she decided that my life wasn’t what she wanted it to be. All because your sister thinks she knows what’s best for everyone. I think I feel sorry for Michael, Deb made him into the needy, whining shit he is.” Justin tells him.

 

“Justin, Deb believed Lindsay wanted to straighten out her life with Gus.” Vic tells him

 

“Excuse the fuck out of me for not being understanding, I lost my fucking child and my life with Brian.” Justin tells Vic.

 

“I loved Kira, I thought you would go and succeed and I would get to be a part of that world. Nobody told me that the plane crashed.” Lindsay blurted out.

 

“Lindsay, if you hadn’t lied to us, we wouldn’t be here now. I should have tried to help you make better decisions.” Vic tells Lindsay.

 

“Are you kidding me, Lindsay wanted you to let her come back and you didn’t bother to see what she did?.” Justin tells Vic.

 

“I thought I was helping. I thought you would go to New York and find success, not that the plane would crash.” She tells me.

 

“Hold on, has she known all along, that she is the fucking cause of my life fucking up.” I cut in.

 

“I don’t know when Lindsay remembered anything.” Vic tells me.

 

“Do you think either of us will believe a word from you Vic. Lindsay why don’t you tell us, how you seem to suddenly remember things.” I look to Lindsay.

 

“When Justin brought up the article today.” She tells me.

 

“Can you keep her from remembering anymore?” I ask Vic.

 

“But Brian…” She tries and I cut her off.

 

“I won’t help her any longer, she’s the reason I spend the next forty years alone.” I tell Vic.

 

“Brian, she is going to retain her memories, just like Justin will. She can’t do anymore harm as long as you and Justin do what you’re supposed too.” Vic tells me.

 

“Only one problem Vic, Justin and I won’t play by rules anymore. Once you lied to us, you don’t get the chance to do it again.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, I’m sorry this happened, but you get to live your life, can’t that be enough?” Vic tells me.

 

“Sorry is bullshit, Vic. I hope you enjoy the memories Justin and I are about to create. You get to feel the changes too, don’t you?” I tell him.

 

“Brian don’t do this.” Vic tells him.

 

“Mel can bring Gus to visit, but you are no longer welcome in our lives. If Mel comes to her senses, I’ll help her take Gus away from you. My life might give a judge pause but Mel will come out smelling like roses. You should have taken care of Mel, instead of trying to fuck with my life.” I tell her.

 

“Peter, I made a mistake. I never meant for what happened to happen.” Lindsay pleads with me.

 

“Justin, please I thought I was helping.” She turns to him.

 

“You want to help Lindsay?” Justin asks her.

 

“Anything, just ask me.” She begs Justin.

 

“Here's what you can do. See the door Brian is leaning on? Walk out it. Don’t call, don’t show up anywhere we are and don’t think there is anything you could do that would help anyone. It would take thinking of someone other than yourself and you’ve shown time and again that you aren’t capable of that.” Justin tells her.

 

“Vic, I don’t want the help of someone who caused my pain. I hope Kira can forgive you and Deb for this, but you know she’s Brian’s daughter.” Justin tells him.

 

I walk over to Justin and take his hand, it’s time we do this our way.

VIC

 

“Lindsay, why did you lie to them?” I ask her. 

 

“The same reason you did, self protection.” She tells me. 

 

“Now you’re out in the cold. They are no longer going to play your game.” I tell her. 

 

“You think you scored any points today? How do you think Brian and Justin are going to feel when they find out you were only helping to save Deb from purgatory?” She tells me.

 

“I wasn’t trying to ruin their lives, that’s all on you.” I tell her.

 

“No, I can keep acting like I didn’t know all along, you can’t pretend, since you were running around telling them you knew the future.” She tells me.

 

“I could tell them the truth and let the chips fall where they may.” I warn her.

 

“You could, but do you think Brian would forgive you using him and Justin to save Deb from her own stupidity?” She smiles at me, she knows she has us.

 

“Deb was never supposed to be there, if you hadn’t lied to us…” 

 

Lindsay interrupts me. “I didn’t lie, I wanted my life to go the way it should have. Why did I have to suffer, when Brian could have helped me?” She tells me.

 

“You did it all on your own, Lindsay. I should never have let Deb see you. You were able to make her believe it was about Gus, when all this was about, was you.” I tell her.

 

“Please, Deb thinks she knows better than anyone. I’m not the one who told God nothing I could do would change Justin and Brian’s life. If she had just shut the fuck up, you wouldn’t be stuck having to try to make them screw up to prove that Deb was right, and get her out of trouble.” She tells me.

 

“Do you know how much I wish you were never allowed to meet any of us?” I tell her.

 

“About as much as I wished you and Deb had been hit by a bus, so Brian could have left your family behind.” She tells me.

 

“I don’t care what you do, I’m going to tell them you were here the whole time. Why couldn’t you leave them alone? You had a third chance to change your life, and you're still trying to get the future you want. If you love Kira, let this go and try to repair your life.” I beg her.

 

“You really think I care about some brat Justin used to try and replace Gus with.” She tells me.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I ask her. This isn’t the woman who was always helping Justin.

 

“I’m Lindsay Peterson, the only woman Brian loves. I want my chance to be the one in the spotlight. I can become everything Justin is, don’t you see? Justin only made it because Brian helped him. I was forced to work and take care of Gus. If I’d had the time Justin had, I could have created masterpieces.” She is delusional.

 

“Justin has talent Lindsay, he didn’t sit around waiting for someone to take care of him. That man worked his ass off for everything he’s ever gotten.” I try to get her to see she’s wrong.

 

“I want my turn to have the excitement, too bad you can’t stop me.” She smirks.

 

JUSTIN

 

I walked out of the room with Lindsay and Vic in it and agree with Brian. We are going to make our own life. Daphne is standing in the main room, with my mom. I wanted to get out of here but I don’t want my mom to think anything is wrong. Brian lets go of my hand and walks over to my mom.

 

“Jen, why don’t you look around and then we can go out to dinner. That way we can talk and you can ask what you need to know. Who better to explain gay life than someone who’s gay?” Brian tells her.

 

“Justin wanted me to talk to Deb, we could invite her too.” Jen tells him. Deb is standing with Emmett, she smiles at the idea.

 

“Deb raised a son who is still hiding his sexuality. She hasn’t been able to get him to come out of the closet, I doubt that she has anything useful to tell you. Well, she’ll likely tell you I’ll hurt Justin, because she always knows everything.” Brian tells Jen. Deb starts to frown.

 

“Brian, I helped raise you too.” Deb tells him.

 

“And you never let me forget that you did. I mean, I have to take care of your family, in order to thank you for not allowing my dad to beat the shit out of me everyday. You know what Jen, I only got the crap knocked out of me once a week after I met Deb and her family. Deb constantly wants me to take care of her family, I get to take the blame when her son gets in trouble.”

 

I need to stop Brian, I’m mad too, but unlike the two in the other room, Deb didn’t do anything yet.

 

“Mom, this time it should just be you, Brian and me. That way you and Brian can talk to each other.” I tell my mom.

 

“Justin don’t forget Daphne and Emmett, they are probably the only friends you really have.” Brian tells me.

 

“Brian, what’s going on? I’ve always treated you like a son.” Deb tells Brian.

 

“So, you blame Michael when I get myself into shit. I mean if I was arrested for shitting on a cop, and Michael was there, you’d tell Michael that he should have protected me?” Brian asks her.

 

“Brian, you were trouble from the day Michael met you. Michael never did anything wrong before that.” She tells us. 

 

This is the woman who defended us to the rest of the gang.

 

“So Michael, isn’t capable of doing anything wrong?” Brian asks her.

 

“Yes, he can be wrong, but he doesn’t intentionally do it, you do.” Deb tells him.

 

“Deb, Michael is a grown man, don’t you think it’s time for him to take responsibility for his life?” Emmett tells her. Poor Emmett is trying to figure out what’s going on.

 

“Michael was wrong, trying to get in the middle of Justin and Brian, I called him on it. I’m not going to stand here and listen to Brian act like Michael was always the one doing things.” Deb tells us.

 

“You know, I think Brian is right, I should spend time alone with them. I can’t get to know him if I don’t try.” Mom tells us. She was trying to be the peacemaker.

 

“I think Brian is right Deb, Jen needs to get to know Brian, without everyone offering an opinion.” Emmett adds.

 

“I thought we were going to come to an art show. Why are you trying to leave?” Deb asks us.

 

“Lindsay, quite simply, is being a bitch, I don’t want Mother Taylor to have to listen to her all night.” Brian tells Deb.

 

“I’ll go and talk to her. She just needs someone to talk to.” Deb tells us.

 

“You are always so helpful Deb.” Brian tells her.

 

I get Mom to agree to look and then we can go. Brian tells Mel he wants the drawing of him and leaves her with the money for it. I see Marilyn standing behind Emmett, I still don’t know what to believe. I know one thing, Lindsay is a lying bitch. She can tell me whatever she wants, the first clue I had that she knew was that she brought up things she did in the future. That was before I commented on the article, Lindsay needs to remember, the devil is in the details. 

 

MARILYN

 

“Brian, can I meet you and Justin somewhere tonight?” I ask him.

 

“Only if you can bring the truth, all of it, do you really think Justin and I believe you didn’t know?” He asks me.

 

“I didn’t know all of it, I swear, but I promise to fill you in on what I do know.” She tells me.

 

“Be at the loft at nine.” He tells me and walks away.

 

I think it’s time for Vic and I to talk. I thought we were helping them but suddenly it’s like there was some other agenda. I walk into the room he and Lindsay were in. Lindsay seems to have disappeared but I see Vic. He is going to explain why he lied to me.

 

“You ready to tell me the truth? because I have always prided myself on the fact that I use my ability without ill intentions.” I tell him.

 

“Yes, you always have. It was Deb and me that tried to change things. Deb is in serious trouble Marty.” He tells me.

 

“Which one, the one up with you or here?” I am going to make him spell it out.

 

“The one who decided that she knew better than God. When we were told what our meddling caused, Deb didn’t know that Brian and Justin had lived the other life together. She told everyone that even if Lindsay hadn’t interfered, that Brian and Justin wouldn’t make it. She said that we shouldn’t be blamed because Brian was the one who made the mistake. She was sent to purgatory, and will stay there unless she is proven right.” Vic tells me.

 

“Let me get this straight, because right now, I want to believe you wouldn’t have tried to screw them over. You have been trying to make them follow the timeline that leads Justin to the plane? Tell me I’m wrong Vic, because you made me believe you were trying to help them.” I yell at him.

 

“I wish I could, I love Brian and Justin, but she’s my sister. I have to help her.” Vic tells me.

 

“All she has to do is admit she doesn’t know what’s best for everyone.” I tell him.

 

“She insists she’s right, and that Lindsay was just confused.” Vic tells me.

 

“Then just like Brian can’t help Michael, you need to let your sister deal with the consequences of her actions. I will not be a pawn, trying to save your sister from her own folly.” I tell him

 

I watch a sad Vic disappear. I think Brian and Justin have the right to the truth. I just hope I don’t end up on the shit list that is starting to get longer.

 

KIRA

 

I was walking around picking flowers in the field, I wanted to see my Dad. It gets lonely up here without them. I watch Gus’s mom and Daddy fight. I wish I could go down there and kick her. I was going to follow Daddy and Dad, but when Vic asked about Lindsay lying, I stayed and listened. I would have hyperventilated but I can’t.

 

“Hello sweetie.” Vic smiles at me, as he appears in front of me..

 

“Hello traitor.” I tell him. I turn and run away from the person who lied to us. 

 

 

BRIAN

 

I tried to get over my anger at Deb, but it’s hard when you can see your life from the outside. I always allowed her and Michael to get away with anything, because they took care of me at one time. After dinner, we dropped Jen off and headed to the loft, I was reevaluating most of my life.

 

“Deep thoughts.” Justin tells me. 

 

“Yeah without the deep throat, not really much fun.” I tell Justin who snorts at me.

 

“We can change that.” He tells me, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

“Maybe after Marilyn graces us with her presence.” I tell him.

 

“Yeah, then Marilyn can explain to both of us why everyone is lying. Lindsay didn’t just get her memories back.” Justin tells me.

 

“Did I miss something?” I ask Justin.

 

“Let’s just say little Wendy wasn’t as careful as she thought. She mentioned supporting our relationship, which hasn’t happened in this life.” Justin tells me.

 

“I also want to know why Ethan could get his memories erased, but not Lindsay.” I tell him.

 

“What did I miss?” Justin asks me.

 

“Marilyn told me that they sent Ethan back to where he was supposed to be, without any memories. Stands to reason, if they could take Ethan’s, they could take Lindsay’s too.” I tell him.

 

“I guess the truth is in short supply lately.” Justin tells me.

 

We pulled up to the loft and I see Michael standing there. I never did go to see him tonight, not that I care anymore. I hope he just wants to tell me all about the wonderful Dr. David. One thing needs to go right.

 

“Hey Michael, how was your date with the yummy doctor.” Justin asks him.

 

“It was fine, he’s kind of stuffy.” Michael complains. Oh hell no, I need Michael to run after David.

 

“Michael, he’s probably trying to get to know you.” I tell him, I let a little envy slide out.

 

“It’s just when I mentioned hanging out with you guys, he was fine with the art show, but didn’t think we needed to hang out with a bunch of guys at a club.” He tells us.

 

“Michael he’s most likely wanting to spend time with you. That means he probably thinks you're hot.” Justin was able to say that with a straight face. Wow he’s good.

 

“You think so?” Michael asks us.

 

“It’s how I was, I mean am. I want to have time to get to know Brian.” Justin tells Michael.

 

“Sure, Whatever. Hey, why were you so shitty to Ma and what is going on with Lindsay and Justin?” Michael asks us. I watched him scowl at Justin when Justin mentioned him and me.

 

“I just wanted a chance to for Justin’s mother to form her own opinion of me, without Deb telling her I’m the Devil.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, she would have only told Justin’s mother the truth.” Michael tells me.

 

“The truth according to Deb.” I snap at him.

 

“My mom is still a little uncomfortable with everything and you know your mother can be a lot to put on someone like my mother.” Justin tells Michael.

 

“Yeah, you know she asked David if he gave it to me. It was really embarrassing.” Michael tells us.

 

“That’s why I thought it would be better to let Mom have a casual dinner with Brian.” Justin tells Michael.

 

“Why were you yelling at Lindsay? She tried to tell everyone it was you being upset at her critiquing your work. I would have believed her, but your work sold out at the show. David said that no one would criticize your work. He wants to meet you, he was amazed when I told him how young you are, and said that your art was really developed.” Michael tells Justin.

 

“We could all go out one night.” Justin suggests. 

 

“We could also let Michael and David to get to know each other, before they hang around us.” I tell Mr Helpful.

 

“I was going to see if you wanted to get a drink.” Michael tells me.

 

“I have some things to do, sorry maybe you could go hang out with David.” I suggest.

 

“I was with him all night, I thought I could hang out with you. I’m sure Justin can go hang out with his friends.” Michael tells us.

 

“You should go tell your mom how much you love the fact that she was screeching to David about your sex life in front of everyone at the GLC.” Emmett tells him, as he and Marilyn walk up.

 

“David already asked me to say something to her about it, but you know Ma will get pissy that anyone tries to tell her what she can say.” Michael tells Emmett.

 

“Michael it would be better to get it out of the way, think about what would happen if she saw you and David out with David’s friends.” Justin tells him.

 

“You know what, I think I need to talk to her. Brian want to go out tomorrow? We can have a night with the GANG.” Michael tells me. 

 

“If you show up at Babylon, Justin and I will see you there. Feel free to invite whatever gang you want.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, if you want to spend any time together we need to plan it. I’m seeing someone now and I won’t always be available just because you want me too.” He tells me.

 

I could answer that in so many different ways. I stand there and wonder why Michael seems to think that only he is in a relationship. Let’s face it, Michael is about to become a raging asshole to all of Liberty Avenue. I think this time Justin and I are going to stay out of it. Michael treated his mother like she wasn’t fit to wipe his shoes and Justin smoothed it over with her. With no one to stand behind Deb, she might get a fucking clue about the person she raised. 

 

“I seem to have the same problem. Justin demands a lot of time.” I tell him.

 

“You need to make sure he doesn’t think he can depend on you. He is going to think you and him are more than you are.” Michael tells me, but says it loud enough for Justin to get the message.

 

Justin starts laughing at Michael. “Michael is it hard to live in your head?” Justin asks him.

 

“What are you talking about now?” Michael snaps at Justin.

 

“I just wanted to know how you manage to walk straight, since you change directions so often. Brian tells you over and over he and I are in a relationship, yet you spend every second trying to convince not just him, but everyone, that it couldn’t happen. It’s like there is this part of your head that fights off the villain called ‘Brian and Justin’. Then you're suddenly trying to help me with my mom, and we are able to carry on a conversation that doesn’t include you trying to wipe me out of existence.” Justin tells him. 

 

“I know my best friend, and he isn’t going to change for you. I was just trying to help you.” Michael tells me.

 

“Save it for your family and new boyfriend.” I tell him.

 

“Brian..” Michael starts to whine.

 

“Michael go talk to your mother, she isn’t going to stop unless you tell her.” Emmett tells him.

 

Michael rolls his eyes and turns to leave and go see Deb. “Brian can you give me a ride?” Michael asks me.

 

“Emmett take him to Deb’s.” I throw the keys to him.

 

“I could just run over and come back.” Persistence isn’t going to win.

 

“I planned on fucking Justin all over the loft, up to you if you want to watch.” I see Michael scowl.

 

Emmett ushers Michael into the Jeep. He shuts Michael in and turns to us. “Do not talk till I get back.” He warns us. We watch them get in the Jeep and drive off. 

 

“Before you say anything, are you going to clear this shit up or heap more on our heads?” I ask him.

 

“I’m here to tell the truth for the first time.” He tells me.

 

“Interesting that you couldn’t do that from the beginning.” Justin tells her.

 

“I didn’t know I was being used.” She tells us.

 

“How could a psychic as good as you, not know. You seem to want us to believe you know everything.” Justin tells her.

 

“Look can we go in and I promise no more lies and no more hints. I think we have all done enough to fuck up your life.” Marilyn tells us.

 

I think we can finally get some answers this time. 

JUSTIN

 

Marilyn follows us into the loft and walks over to the answering machine. Brian and I watch as she erases all the messages. What is she doing?

 

“Nothing on here is worth the time it took for them to record it.” She tells us.

 

“Are you trying to stop us from hearing something?” Brian tells her.

 

“Yes, the people you consider family. Deb wants an apology for the way you talked to her tonight. The next several messages were from her wanting to remind you of all the things she did for you. I didn’t think you had the patience to listen to the long list. The next couple were from Lindsay, telling you that with the foreknowledge you both have you need to work together. I doubted that would improve your mood. Vic called and wanted to talk to you about what happened with Deb. I got rid of those because Vic is on my shit list. Emmett called to tell you he should be here in a minute. He is actually walking up the stairs now.” She tells Brian. Emmett knocks on the door.

 

“Emmett, you have a key.” Brian reminds him.

 

“I just wanted to make sure if you and Justin really were fucking on every surface, that I was courteous enough to knock.” He tells Brian.

 

“Could you teach that to Deb, she once walked in on an orgy.” Brian tells Emmett.

 

“You will not distract me with that juicy bit of gossip.” Emmett tells Brian. 

 

“Promise you’ll tell me about it later?” Emmett begs Brian.

 

“Can we get on with what you suddenly feel we have a right to know about our lives.” Brian tells Marilyn, while ignoring Emmett.

 

“I need to ask Emmett something first.” She tells us.

 

“Ask, but I’ve been holding back all my questions about tonight. If I don’t get some answers soon I’m going to blow up like the confetti at Babylon.” Emmett tells her.

 

“Right this minute you can hold on to the belief that the people you know are essentially good people. Do you understand what I’m telling you?” She waits for Emmett to answer.

 

“Yes, but nothing could be that bad.” Emmett tells her.

 

“If you stay and hear this, first you need to understand none of this is happening here, but in a different future. A second in Heaven time, moves differently. ” She tells him.

 

“Wait, when did I die? Am I up there and seeing this?” Emmett asks her.

 

“A long time from now, and no, because you're still alive right now. In this timeline the only people who can be in both places are people who died before Brian.” She tells Emmett.

 

“In other words, once she tells us, you can’t unknow it. She just wanted to stall for time, by telling you a long winded explanation.” Brian glares at Marilyn.

 

“I was also trying to protect Emmett. He is about to have an illusion about people he loves, shattered. I refuse to let him hear this without letting him make the decision if he can deal with that. There have been too many half truths and outright lies going on. People trying to move you and Brian like chess pieces to get the future they want.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“I’m willing to hear you, but understand no matter what you say, I will form my own opinions.” Emmett tells Marilyn.

 

“Brian, Lindsay didn’t just figure it out, she was brought back again knowing everything from the moment you met her.” Marilyn looks at Brian to see how he’s going to take that.

 

“Justin guessed she’s been here longer than she told us tonight. How was she able to know for that long. Before you answer, why was Ethan’s memory erased but Lindsay can’t have the same done to her?” Brian asks her.

 

“I really don’t want to be the one to tell you, but if I don’t, I doubt the others will. When Deb released Lindsay to make up for her mistakes. Deb was sure Lindsay couldn’t change anything that was supposed to happen in Brian’s life. When Lindsay proceeded to wipe the correct future from existence, Deb and Vic were brought before God himself. God wanted to know why Deb did it. Deb told him that Lindsay deserved to have a chance to be in Gus’s life. She felt that the future that had Lindsay dying of an overdose was the wrong one, that the Lindsay she knows was a loving mother. Deb told everyone listening that she knew Brian, and Lindsay couldn’t change what Brian did to screw up his own life, so Deb wasn’t at fault for what Lindsay ultimately did. One of the angels told Deb that by disrupting your timeline, she ruined the life you would have had. Deb told everyone that if Justin had stayed, you and Justin would have broken up anyway, so she felt she didn’t change all that much. Deb was aware that you and Justin stayed together, but in her mind you would have eventually broken up and Justin would have run away from you. So when she was told that Lindsay changed your fate, her answer was that she knew you better than anyone, and you would have still have ended up alone either way. Needless to say, Deb got in trouble for telling everyone they were wrong. God decided to reset the timeline, with all the players, only God wanted Brian and Justin to have the same knowledge that Lindsay was given. He told Deb they could watch how it plays out. He allowed Lindsay to come just as early as Deb sent her, but wanted Brian to come back later, so as he put it, Brian didn’t have to wait three decades to see Justin. Just so you know, Vic didn’t tell me all that, I snuck passed his barrier, while he was confessing to me.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“What does this have to do with Vic?” Brian asks Marilyn.

 

“Nothing, it comes down to Vic trying to save his sister.” Marilyn tells Brian.

 

 “What do they gain by this?” Justin asks Marilyn.

 

“Before I answer, please know I didn’t know this part. I wouldn’t have agreed to help if I did.” She tells us.

 

“Sounds more like your trying to save your ass. ‘You didn’t know’, seems to be the excuse we get when no one wants to tell the truth.” Brian snarls at her.

 

“I never looked past the explanation, I didn’t try to read Vic’s thoughts until now. He was always a good man, why would I not believe him?” She looked directly at Brian.

 

“So what was he really trying to do?” Brian asks her.

 

“Save Deb, she is in purgatory.” Marilyn whispers to us.

 

“When?” Justin asks her.

 

“It was maybe a week or so after Lindsay died.” She tells me.

 

“When Brian and I were in our timeline?” I ask her.

 

“You and Lindsay were never there at the same time, you wouldn’t have been. Deb sent Lindsay back and you died as the result. Deb didn’t die in either timeline until you or Lindsay were already there.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“I think with fifteen to twenty cosmos, this conversations would make more sense.” Emmett tells us.

 

“In a nutshell, in the correct timeline, I never died. Lindsay eventually OD’s. Deb, who dies later gets to Heaven and convinces Vic to let her go see Lindsay. Lindsay is sent back, changed everything and that results in me dying in a plane crash. When I end up in Heaven, no Lindsay or Deb yet because I died before them. Got that?” I ask Emmett.

 

“Unfortunately yes, because I have a feeling I know what Marilyn is trying so hard not to tell us. Excuse me but I need to get something.” Emmett grabs the Beam, unscrews the lid and chugs till half is gone. “This shit tastes like gasoline, okay hit us with the really bad part Marilyn.” Emmett tells her.

 

“In order for Deb to be allowed out of Purgatory, she has to be right. It’s a lesson they wanted to teach her, that she doesn’t know everything. That is what Vic has been up to, trying to make sure Deb get’s out.” Marilyn tells us.

 

I watch Brian, he sits down next to Emmett and grabs the bottle. He tips it and doesn’t stop until it’s gone. I watch as he rolls his lips and stares at the floor shaking his head. Like he’s trying to unhear that the people he loves, were sacrificing him and his happiness to save themselves. He finally seems to come to a decision.

 

“In order for Vic to save Deb, he has to take Justin from me, or was trying to get us to leave each other?” Brian asks her.

 

“You two break up and never see each other again. If that happens Justin is taken back.” Marilyn tells Brian.

 

“You can’t be serious.” Emmett seems to plead that it isn’t the truth.

 

“They didn’t choose that, it was a consequence for thinking she knew better than anyone else.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“Yeah that makes it so much better.” Brian tells her.

 

“And Vic was doing all this knowing what would happen?” Emmett asks her. Marilyn nods but seems to not be able to talk.

 

“Why not, they let me sacrifice my life for Michael. Deb might love us like sons, but none of us are. In the end the only thing she cares about is her family, not us. Vic was raised by her, think of the shit she did to Vic before he died. He couldn’t have a life if she wasn’t invited. She spent all her time telling everyone how she wiped his ass for him. She belittles all of us, but it’s just Deb being Deb, so we all coddle her and try to make her world better. Vic was trained to believe he owed it to Deb to fix things.” Brian tells us. He’s almost too calm.

 

“Brian, neither Vic or Deb that are here know what’s going on. You're going to punish the people who didn’t do any of this yet.” Marilyn tells him.

 

“That was my first thought, hurt them the way I’m being hurt, but I think with Justin and Emmett’s help I have a better idea.” Brian tells her.

 

“Brian what are you thinking?” Marilyn tells him.

 

“Can’t you tell me?” Brian smirks at her.

 

“No, you're drunk and your thoughts are all over the place.” She tells him.

 

“If you hear or see my thoughts, butt out Marilyn. Until I know we can trust you, I don’t want your help.” Brian tells her.

 

“Justin, can’t you talk to him. I came here to tell you the truth. Vic lied to me too.” She tells him.

 

“You really think I can stop Brian, I will definitely help him. I think it’s time for everyone to be allowed to make their own lives. If they worried about themselves and not what they wanted Brian to do, we wouldn’t be here now. Brian and I get some of the blame, we agreed that I would go to New York. Would we have agreed without Lindsay using her knowledge of our lives? Obviously not, because I stayed with him in one of the futures. We’re all level now, so out go all the rules.” I tell her.

 

“Justin, ready to open Kinnetik?” Brian asks me.

 

“Brian, it’s too soon.” Marilyn tries on Brian.

 

“We’ll see won’t we?” Brian tells her.

 

BRIAN

 

I walked to the door and opened it for Marilyn. She needs to prove to me that she isn’t fucking me and Justin, without lube. She walks towards the door and stops but must have realized now wasn’t the time. I slam the door and grab another bottle. Opening the seal, I take a long drink and hand it to an already smashed Emmett. Emmett takes a swig and hands it to Justin. Justin hands it to me and walks to get a beer.

 

“I think I need to stay sober, you or Emmett might decided to do something stupid, I need to be able to stop you.” Justin tells us.

 

“I have a fan, Wonser boy.” Emmett slurs.

 

“What’s your plan, Emmett.” I ask him. I almost fall on my ass trying to stand up.

 

“Jussy and you itch everyone out and then we play the lottery or something and go buy an I, I mean aisle, no I meant a Island. Yeah, that’s it.” Emmett smiles right before he passes out on the couch.

 

“So Jussy, want to buy an island?” I ask him.

 

“No, but I want to know what’s going on in that head of yours.” He tells me.

 

“It’s time to turn our friends into adults. I’m no longer going to stand silently by when they blame me. If I don’t clean up their mistakes, then they see the results without us smoothing it over.” I tell him.

 

“What do you mean by that? Please tell me that when Michael breaks up with David, you are going to tell Deb it’s not your problem.” Justin waits for me to answer.

 

“When Vic complains that Deb won’t leave him and Rodney alone, I’ll tell Vic to grow a set of balls bigger than his sister’s.” Brian tells me.

 

“You won’t let her shit on you at the funeral? You should know that she told Vic to fuck off for not letting her practically live in his new life. Then never apologized for it.” Justin the shit stirrer.

 

“We get to raise the Queers.” I laugh at the thought. 

 

“I think we better get the Queen a blanket.” Justin says, motioning toward Emmett. “Then you can at the least fuck me in the shower, on the vanity and in our bed.” Justin tells me.

 

“Hum, just don’t make me jealous, I haven’t gotten laid lately. And you still need to tell me about the orgy.” Emmett mumbles at us.

 

“Use the pillows like earplugs, I plan to make Justin scream tonight.” Brian tells Emmett.

 

 

EMMETT 

 

What is with all the disco music at Babylon? It’s not seventies night, I would have dressed for it. I look around for Ted, but don’t see anyone I recognize. Walking up to the bar, not even the bartender is someone I recognize. Where the hell is everyone?

 

“You new here?” I ask him. 

 

“Been here forever, what's your poison?” He asks me. 

 

“Cosmo, and have you seen Ted or Brian?” I ask him. 

 

“A lot of people here with those names.” He tells me. 

 

“I’m talking about Brian Kinney, only one of those.” I tell him. 

 

“I saw him once before…” He gets interrupted by a sexy as hell man. 

 

“Want to dance?” The new guy asks me.

 

“Sure sugar, lead the way. I'm Emmett, hopefully you'll get to know that name well tonight.” I tell him. 

 

“Ben, let's shake your groove thing.” Ben tells me. Man this guy can dance.

 

“Are you new to Pittsburgh, because there is no way I would have missed seeing you?” I ask him. I cop a feel, love his muscles. 

 

“We haven't met yet.” He tells me. He starts laughing and tries to stop my hands.

 

“Yeah I know. How much do you work out?” I keep trying feeling him up.

 

“Emmett, I need you to pay attention. We are going to meet some day soon, but right now I’m here to warn you about something. Vic is going to try to get you to help them.” Ben tells me.

 

“Wait, why is Vic coming to Babylon?” I ask Ben.

 

“He brought you here to try to get your help. I can’t let him do this, Brian and Justin don’t deserve to be sacrificed for Deb’s mistake. I have to go, but remember, what I just told you.” Ben turns and disappears, not walks into the crowd but disappears, like, poof he’s gone. Toto we aren’t in Kansas anymore. 

 

“Emmett, how’s my favorite Queen?” Vic yells from the bar.

 

I walk back and start to notice my surroundings changing, instead of hot men, there are tired looking people around me of all ages. As I walk by they try to stop me to talk to me. One guy grabs me.

 

“I need someone to listen to me. I lived a God fearing life, I condemned anyone who didn’t live by the Bible. I don’t deserve this, I should be in Heaven not this faggot club.” He tells me.

 

“Or maybe you should apologize for not loving your fellow man.” I tell him and yank my arm away.

 

“I only made the baby sick so people would pay attention to me. I loved my child, I should be allowed to be with him.” I hear someone yell.

 

“If my wife and son had been obedient, I wouldn’t have had to teach them lessons. I was the law in my house, I shouldn’t be punished because they had to be taught their place.” A big brute yells.

 

“Emmett, come with me. We don’t belong here.” Vic appears at my side. He walks to a door, I really don't want to go to the backroom with Vic. He motions me to follow him through the door. When we go through, we are at Deb’s house.

 

“I want you to see something before we talk.” He tells me.

 

I turn and watch as Deb opens her front door to a teen who looks like he was used as a punching bag. She sighs and brings him in. She takes him with her to the kitchen to get a wash cloth and the first aid kit. I watch as Deb sits the kid down and starts cleaning him up. The kid is silent but I can see him wince, when she cleans him up. 

 

“What happened tonight?” She asks him.

 

“He got drunk, same thing that always happens before he decides to kick the shit out of me, Deb.” Jesus, that kid is a young Brian. 

 

He always played the abuse off, but this isn't being slapped. What kind of concerned mother just cleans it up and doesn’t try to stop it?

 

“Brian, next time run to your room and hide. If you could learn to keep your mouth shut, he wouldn’t do this to you. You staying here tonight?” She asks Brian.

 

Yeah, because having your ass kicked repeatedly is your fault. I hope Vic doesn’t think he just earned sympathy points with this.

 

“I can go home, after he passes out.” Brian tells her.

 

“Sweetheart, just stay here tonight. I’ll call your mom and tell her you're helping Michael with homework. Michael could use your help.” Deb tells him.

 

“Thanks Deb.” Brian tells her. He gets up and limps out of the room.

 

All Deb does is clean up the mess like it never happened. Seems like what she always did when Michael caused problems. 

 

The house changes and Brian is coming through the front door. “Hey Deb, I brought some groceries.” Brian tells her.

 

“Brian, it’s not your job to take care of me. You can come home without having to bring things.” Deb smiles at Brian.

 

“I got a raise at work and wanted to celebrate it.” Brian tells her.

 

“In that case, let me get started on dinner. You better call Michael, he’ll want to celebrate with us. He needs to hear some good news, they didn’t give him the promotion. You should cheer him up by saying you wanted to celebrate what a great friend he is to you.” Deb tells Brian.

 

Brian is only important if it helps Michael? Is Vic even listening to this? Brian can't have any attention unless it makes Michael happy? Why does Vic think this will help me side with them?

 

“Sure Deb.” Brian tells her.  

 

Everything disappears again and we are standing on Liberty Avenue. Only no one is around. 

 

“Let’s take a walk.” Vic suggest.

 

“How about you just tell me why we just played ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ starring Deb.” I tell him.

 

“I wanted you to see what Deb’s been going through being around those people in Purgatory and remind you how generous she is.” Vic tells her.

 

“And the point of this?” I ask Vic. Because all I saw was Deb wanting Brian to take care of Michael. 

 

“Do you think she deserved to be in Purgatory, with homophobes, child killers and people who tortured their families? Deb has always taken care of people, it's not right that she is suffering.” Vic tells  me.

 

“No, but are those people there because like Deb, they can’t admit to their mistakes, or because neither Heaven or Hell wants them?” I ask him.

 

“I’m just trying to get you to see that Deb deserves a chance to be with me. She loved you boys and took you in. She deserves your support for being the mother none of your moms were.” Vic tells me. Vic would have made a great televangelist. They're all fakes and liars. I'll play along, if I can help Brian and Justin. 

 

“What do you need me to do?” I ask Vic. 

 

“I can’t go near Brian and Justin any longer. I wanted you to help me get them to see they don’t have to be together this time. Remind Brian and Justin of all the times Deb was there for them. They can do it all again in the next life.” Vic tells me.

 

“Vic, before I tell you my answer, can you tell me what happened to the man who would have taken care of us and why Brian needs to listen to you?” I tell him.

 

“I’m still here, I’m just trying to help Deb. Brian will still get to be with Justin again.” He tells me. It's like listening to Michael’s reasoning.

 

“Hey Vic, why didn’t Justin know Deb was in purgatory?” I need to ask anything that can help them.

 

“I went to get her, she was put straight back in Purgatory when she died in the new future. I made sure Justin was busy with Carl and Ben, so he didn’t know where Deb went. When he did see her, we didn’t tell him she couldn’t leave, we just let him think she wanted to try to help everyone. It was easy, Justin believes everything he’s told.” Vic tells me. Who the fuck is this? This isn't the Vic I know.

 

“I see, so you spent all your time protecting your sister. Let Justin and Brian believe you were the wonderful gay father they loved, but the reality is you're willing to fuck them over because Deb can’t admit she didn’t know everything. I should have walked out of the loft before Marilyn told me anything, but I was convinced that you and Deb would walk through fire to save one of us. When the truth is Brian Fucking Kinney was right, he’s the sacrificial lamb to the Novotny-Grassi family. If you haven’t figured it out yet Vic, the answer is no. I won’t let them be shit on by you. Does Deb even know what you’ve been doing?” I ask him.

 

“Deb told me to stay out of it, she wants to be able to say she was right without anybody helping her.” Vic tells me.

 

“Hey Vic pull my finger. That was some really great storytelling you just did. Here is a Kinney answer for you, grow a pair of balls and tell your sister she’s an idiot if she can’t just tell everyone she was wrong. Is it that fucking important to be right? You two are fucking with people’s lives.” I tell him.

 

“Emmett think about what Deb has done for you.” He tries on me.

 

“Other than acting like she can shout out of her mouth whatever comes into her head and feed us. I don’t see what makes her better than Brian and Justin. This conversation is over, nothing you say is going to change my mind.” I tell him.

 

“You know Vic, this is why you're no longer allowed to talk to Brian or Justin. Emmett you need to look harder at Vic.” Why is everyone so beautiful? Man my ass is still going south, and these people look great. Well not Vic, but this chick could make me think twice about being gay.

 

“You could still be born, Brian knows how to accomplish that.” He tells the woman.

 

“My father could also have the man he loves in his life. You and your family along with Lindsay, are on the edge of Hell. Keep trying to fuck with my family and your going to tip right in. I’ll be the bitch waving as you fall into the flames.” The woman tells Vic.

 

I watch as the woman transforms into a little girl, she smiles a smile that I’ve seen on Justin.

 

“Hello, Auntie Em. I wanted to see you, sorry to interrupt the traitor. I just want you to know you and your husband were the best people I ever knew.” She tells me.

 

“Kira?” I ask her. She nods and smiles again.

 

“How the hell does Brian’s genes produce such beautiful kids?” I was just speaking to the air really, but damn it this girl is going to have Brian buying a shotgun one day.

 

“Your kids are just as beautiful Auntie Em. Lula makes men weep as she walks by, and TJ makes me happy to be a woman.” She tells me.

 

“I don’t have kids. Wait, I get married and have kids?” I ask her.

 

“If he and Deb don’t fuck it up you will, with a man that will make you cream your jeans.” She tells me.

 

“Could you at least change to a woman when you say that, it’s kind of gross coming out of a child’s mouth.” I tell her.

 

“Sorry, here age is just a number, we are all adults but we get to play.Right Vic, it's all fun and games.” She tells me.

 

“You aren’t supposed to tell people their futures, Kira.” Vic admonishes her.

 

“I got permission to tell Emmett, can you and Deb say the same.” The grown Kira quirks her eyebrow. The Kinney is strong in this one.

 

“Auntie Em, it’s time for you to go, Daddy is trying to wake you up. Tell Marilyn to look into the future after Dad goes, it will make more sense.” She leans over and kisses my cheek.

 

I want to hug her but instead I start falling.

 

“Emmett wake up, you told me you had to work today.” Justin tells me.

 

I open my eyes and glad I don’t have a hangover. “I wanted you to have a good day.” I hear in my head. That girl is going to be a handful. I jump up and start grabbing my things, I don’t need to be late. My life will eventually get better and I want to bask in the knowledge. I’m opening the door, but I need to talk to Justin and Brian later.

 

“When you get out of school come to Torso? I have to tell you about my night.” I tell a confused Justin.

 

“What, you whacked off to all the noise Justin was making last night?” Brian asks me.

 

“Nope, I was too busy listening to your daughter deliver a Kinney special to Vic. Mark me down in your schedule, we are going to make sure you two make it. Lula and TJ need me. Remind me to teach you how to shoot a shotgun. Call Marilyn, I need to ask her something.” I tell them. I close the door and run out into the new morning. I think it’s time to assure our futures.

 

 

BRIAN

 

I get Justin to agree to wait for me to go see Emmett. Whatever happened last night, seems to have excited Emmett. I call to see where Emmett is, because he doesn’t normally work till closing.

 

“Emmett before we drive all over Pittsburgh, tell me where you are.” I tell him.

 

“I was trying to think of a place that we could brainstorm without people showing up. Michael and Lindsay have been all over the place today. I would say the loft but we’ll get invaded. I also need to see if we can include Ted, he might be able to help me concentrate on all the things that were going on.” Emmett tells me.

 

“You could have called and told us not to head to Torso.” I tell him.

 

“I wanted to meet there, but like I said, everyone is trying to talk to me. I finally thought about my tour last night and I need to ask Justin a lot of questions. You willing to let Ted come, and maybe Mel?” He asks me.

 

“Are you trying to say you blabbed and they now are worried about your sanity?” I ask him.

 

“Um, it wasn’t my fault. Do you know how much shit was thrown at me last night? I had to talk to someone. I just sort of mentioned to Ted that I wanted him to hear a dream I had. Then Mel showed up and we were throwing around ideas. I could have not queened out when they told me to stop worrying about a dream, but this is important.” He tells me.

 

“Just bring them to the loft, if anyone else tries to get in, I’ll kick them out.” I tell Emmett.

 

“Actually, Marilyn came by too and she said it would probably be better if we go to her house.” Emmett could have just said that.

 

“Where the hell does she live?” I ask him. I sometimes wonder how Emmett gets dressed in the morning.

 

“She said to pick us up at Woody’s and we’ll leave from there.” Emmett couldn’t have just said Woody’s.

 

“I’m flustered Brian, give a girl a break.” Emmett snaps at me. I hang up and turn around and head towards Woody’s.

 

“What’s going on?” Justin asks me.

 

“Emmett apparently had to tell Ted and Mel about his dream and now they seem to be worried that Emmett has lost it. Now we get to see where Marilyn lives.” I tell him.

 

“Don’t worry Brian, you’ll like her place. She is as much of a queen about style as you.” Justin tells me. He seems distracted.

 

“Want to tell me what you're thinking about?” I ask him.

 

“You're going to think it’s stupid.” He tells me.

 

“Remember who was my best friend all my life, nothing you could say could sound as stupid as he does sometimes.” I tell him to try and get a laugh.

 

“I have SATs on Saturday. I really want to do better than the first time.” Justin tells me.

 

“You do realize your scores were off the charts. Even if you scored the same, you're still a genius.” I tell him.

 

“It’s just that if I score the same, it’s like I never learned any more. I told you it was stupid.” Justin tells me.

 

“I want you to go to college and get that piece of paper. You let it go before and I know it bothered you.” I tell him.

 

“It was just hard to go and listen to people tell me how to improve my craft. They never went further than teaching. Makes listening to them seem redundant.” He tells me.

 

“Justin, you're going to show them how it’s done. It’s probably going to be hard on them to see a student who could teach them. You spent so much time trying to do what they asked, instead, show them who you are this time.” I tell him.

 

“I want to start a comic but not Rage. Michael spent too much time asking me to bleed my life onto a page. I did it, but I think it caused a lot of our problems. It kept me angry about what happened to me. You have to wonder why he wanted me to be bashed in a comic.” Justin tells me.

 

“I never thought of it like that. Michael came up with it?” I ask him. I never asked him why he wanted to draw that shit.

 

“We were in the shop and he acted like he didn’t want to do it. He even asked if I could handle my personal life being out for everyone to see. At the time, we were both trying to pretend I was okay, so I thought being able to draw it would be cathartic.” Justin tells me.

 

“I always thought you suggested it.” I tell him.

 

“I wasn’t telling him no, but afterwards it made me feel worse. Instead of rescuing myself, you and Michael did.” Justin tells me.

 

We pull up and I have to wonder how they are all going to fit in my Jeep. I roll down my window.

 

“Unless people are going to sit on each other’s laps we are going to need another car.” I tell them.

 

“Ted and Mel are going to follow us, we are going past your loft, two buildings down.” Emmett tells us. He and Marilyn crawl in and I watch a worried Ted and Mel head to Ted’s car.

 

“Do we tell them?” Emmett asks Marilyn.

 

“What’s left to tell? You practically shouted at them that it was real. By the way Justin, 1560.” Marilyn tells Emmett and a smirking Justin.

 

“I didn’t mean to, they just kept acting like I needed to stop pretending like it was important.” Emmett tells us.

 

“Or you could have shut up.” Marilyn tells him.

 

“Let’s not talk about someone blabbing, when up till last night you were on the dark side.” Emmett tells him.

 

“I say we tell them. If they don’t believe us, who the fuck cares.” I tell them.

 

“Brian, we have to be careful.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“Yeah, because by playing it by everyone’s rules, I only had to die.” Justin glares at Marilyn.

 

“Just pull into the garage of the building, I don’t need the besties showing up at my apartment.” Marilyn tells me as we get to his building.

 

“So this is why you could show up at a moment's notice.” I tell her. We are neighbors.

 

“I just like the floor plan of my apartment, I wasn’t trying to chase the Stud and the Dud.” She tells me.

 

“Are you calling me a Dud?” Justin looks offended.

 

“Hello, who was he around till just recently?” Marilyn points out to Justin. Justin nods and smiles.

 

We get out and wait for Ted and Mel to park. I could almost feel bad for Emmett, but you know he could have just waited and talked to us. Marilyn leads us to the elevator and we file in. I pull Justin to me, because Ted is staring at his ass. I get him to stop with a glare. We file out on the third floor and enter the apartment, it wasn’t what I expected.

 

“I might be a drag queen but I have taste.” Marilyn tells me.

 

Yes he does, the whole apartment is done in gray and white. I walk over and inspect the furniture, I have to say, it gives me ideas for a new loft design. The sofas are dark gray but Justin would love it because they are comfortable but still modern in design. I could bend Justin over the back of the sofa, it’s the perfect height for us.

 

“That is exactly why I bought it Brian, we can look at the granite counter tops and the lighting later. Emmett can you tell me why you're convinced something is wrong?” Marilyn asks him.

 

“I really think we need to talk to Emmett about the difference between dreams and reality.” Ted tells us. Mel puts her arms around Emmett, like you would your senile grandmother.

 

“Ted, Blake is still on Crystal, the vial you found isn’t from a long time ago. Blake is going to run away from the rehab you put him in and you won’t see him again for years.” Justin tells him.

 

“Mel, fucking Mary Ann isn’t going to change the fact that you and Lindsay have problems. It only gives you a way out from Lindsay treating you like you weren’t more important than me.” I tell her.

 

“I just found the vial. How did you know?” Ted tells us.

 

“I was supposed to meet Mary Ann for a drink tonight. I wasn’t going to do anything.” Mel tells us.

 

“Emmett isn’t crazy, he is telling you the truth, just like Brian and Justin just did.” Marilyn tells them.

 

“We are supposed to believe that God wants gay men together and raising a kid?” Mel asks us.

 

“He let you and the she bitch have a kid.” Emmett tells her. 

 

“Can you just let Emmett talk and I promise to let you kids commit him, if you don’t believe him.” I tell the two.

 

“Justin, if someone was in purgatory, could they hide it from you?” Emmett asks Justin.

 

“No, it’s like the land of eternal whine, they all spend their time telling everyone they deserve to go to Heaven, but the catch is they have to tell the truth about why they believe it. Like I told Brian, it’s like a train that just keeps heading nowhere.” Justin tells him.

 

“Vic couldn’t make you think Deb was just visiting?” Emmett asks.

 

“No, because you can stand at the edge and watch, but if you go in it’s like ‘The Hotel California’, you don’t get to leave, because you were stupid enough to go there.” Justin tells us.

 

“Deb talking to Lindsay, was that something she could do, from where the edge was?” Emmett asks him.

 

“You could do that, but you would hear the truth and their excuses. Unless you go in they are like broken records.” Justin tells him.

 

“Do you think Deb would have entered there?” What is with all of these questions.

 

“Sure, she would think she could just walk in anywhere, like the orgy I had. I was fucking this guy and I have Deb standing there watching. Instead of, I don’t know, waiting outside, she almost took a seat on the bed. It took me a hour to get hard again.” I tell Emmett.

 

“We can get back to that later, and we will. I just need to understand the whole thing that went on. I was at Babylon but with people from Purgatory.” Emmett tells us.

 

“That isn’t possible, you wouldn’t have been allowed to leave Emmett. Unless an Archangel let you.” Justin tells him.

 

“I think your daughter got me out of there.” Emmett tells us.

 

“How is Kira? I miss her so much.” Justin asks Emmett.

 

“I will say she is definitely Brian’s kid, that girl didn’t give Vic any sympathy at all.” Emmett seems proud of my daughter.

 

“She doesn’t pull punches, but she’s becomes someone we all are proud of.” Justin tells us. I want to hear about her.

 

“Marilyn you're up now, we'll talk more later Justin. When you went to talk to Vic, did you listen to the conversation that continued in the room with Lindsay and him?” Emmett asks her.

 

“It was like Vic was trying to make himself innocent and Lindsay the one who fooled them. It was almost bleeding heart.” Marilyn tells him.

 

“You said you checked on his thoughts?” Emmett asks her.

 

“It’s hard to get beyond a ghost’s barrier. They aren’t really here anymore. I just listened in to the thoughts behind the words.” She tells him.

 

“Anything strange about the conversation?” Emmett really needs to get to the point.

 

“He called me Marty, but he usually did if I was dressed like that. It just bothered me that Vic would do any of this.” Marilyn tells him.

 

“Marilyn, Kira told me to look at Vic hard. What does that mean?” He asks her.

 

“Tell me what else she said.” Marilyn tells him.

 

“She was really harsh with him. She called him Vic but it sounded like she was playing him. It’s what you do Brian, when you try to convince someone to listen to you.” Emmett tells me.

 

“I don’t get what you mean.” I ask him.

 

“You normally only do it when your pissed, but you talk to someone like they’re a child. Then you hit them with the truth, but you leave it up to them to figure it out. She was saying all sorts of strange things. First she walks up as this totally hot chick and then she turns into a child to talk to me. You two need to keep that girl from saying things only a grown woman should know.” Emmett tells us.

 

“Emmett, let's focus, what else was she saying to you.” I tell him. We’ll be here all night if we don’t get Emmett to focus.

 

“Okay, she said something about in Heaven age is just a number and everyone is an adult but they can play. She looked at Vic and said something about fun and games. I swear that girl is all Kinney, she even said Vic’s name like a joke.” Emmett tells us.

 

“I’m going to butt in because, well, I just decided to join the crazy. Emmett was it like she was changing forms to show you something?” Ted asks him. Welcome to the nut house Ted.

 

“Other than the fact that Brian and Justin’s gene pool is amazing, I don’t know.” Emmett explains.

 

“What else happened?” Marilyn asks Emmett.

 

“She forced me to leave, I just walked into the dream but it’s like she threw me out. It was like falling from the sky. She told me to let Justin wake me up. Oh and then she was so you Brian, when Vic tries to tell her she could still be born, she went all badass on him. Telling him she would wave as the family and Lindsay tipped into hell. She told him she’d be the bitch waving as he fell. You do realize that if she’s born we are going to have try to weed some of the Kinney out. I mean your kid is like seeing you all over again.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Emmett, tell them about the whole seeing Brian and Deb interact.” Mel tells him. 

 

“Oh yeah, wait who is Ben? I know you mentioned the guy before, but I wasn’t paying attention.” Emmett asks us.

 

“He’s the future husband of Michael.” I tell him.

 

“Are you serious, how does Michael get that guy?” Emmett is incredulous.

 

“He’s HIV positive, you are still phobic about that.” I tell him.

 

“I could get over it. He’s fucking hot, scorching. I was feeling him…” Emmett gets cut off by Marilyn.

 

“What did Ben say to you? You can drool later.” Marilyn asks him.

 

“Can’t you do like a mind meld or something? It would cut out the extra Emmett likes to add.” Please tell me she can do this, at the rate we’re going we are going to be here long enough to have Kira.

 

“Brian, unlike you, Emmett thinks in circles. It would take me almost as much time to piece it together as it would to just let him talk.” Marilyn tells me. I can agree with her on that.

 

“He told me that he wasn’t going to let them fuck with you. He didn’t stay around and stop Vic, he just went poof. It wasn’t till then that I realized I wasn’t in Babylon. I was all excited cause I thought I was going to get laid, then he like… fine, focus. Vic yelled at me about being his favorite queen, which was really sweet. Then I get people trying to justify why they shouldn’t be there. One dick tried to say it was okay he was a homophobe... I know, Vic tells me he wants us to get out of there because we don’t belong there and wants me to go through a door. It was like going to the backroom and sorry Vic and I going to the backroom was... Moving on, you can stop glaring Kinney. So we go and do a whole look at what Deb has done for Brian, but in both instances it ends with Deb making Brian do something for Michael. Brian they are kind of assholes, I mean you show up the way you did and Deb asks you to do Michael’s homework? You get a promotion and she wants you to forget about that and cheer up Michael. I never paid attention to the way Deb seems to make you feel like you owe it to them.” Emmett tells us.

 

“There was one other thing, Kira called Vic a traitor, but I thought it was because of what they were trying to do. Vic was talking so unlike himself, he was channeling his inner Michael. Who the fuck tells a kid that it’s okay your dad won’t be with you. Then trying to make it okay by saying they could live their next life together. It was strange. OH OH OH, I just remembered this part. Kira told me to tell Marilyn to look past Brian’s death, something would make more sense. Does that make sense?” Emmett winds down. I was willing to lay one on Ted if it stopped Emmett.

 

“She wanted me to look at what happened after Brian died?” Marilyn asks Emmett.

 

“That’s what it sounded like.” Emmett tells her.

 

“What happened after I died?” I ask.

 

“I don’t know, you were brought back and I was trying to worry about now. I can try to see if I can see it, but it’s a split in time now. I have to go to another room, you guys are all thinking too loud. Mel no matter how insane it sounds, it’s true.” Marilyn tells us and walks to a door down the hall. We watch as she goes in and closes the door.

 

“I’m going to ask, feel free to mind fuck me Brian. You and Justin came back to relive your life?” Ted asks me.

 

“Yes, next.” I want to keep it simple, after Emmett’s long explanation.

 

“You know what happens to us?” Ted asks.

 

“In the time I lived, yes. You become CFO and eventually partner with me and Gus at Kinnetik. I depend on you and you proved your worth. I trusted you with everything. Oh, and the whole ‘Crystal makes me better’ thing, that was not your best idea. Emmett and you dating made me want to barf.” I tell him. 

 

“I date Teddy? Why the hell would we want to do that? We aren’t even each other’s types. Ted likes twinks like Baby over there. I like someone who can manhandle me.” Emmett shares with the class.

 

“Yeah, like I said, not something I want to see again.” I tell them.

 

“What happened to you and Justin?” Mel asks me.

 

“We go through five years of playing at a relationship. I ask him to marry me, we cancel the wedding so Justin can pursue a career in New York. Lindsay convinced me not to hold Justin back with by marrying him. His plane crashes and I spend forty years alone. You and I became friends, because you love this twat as much as I do.” I tell her.

 

“Any other questions get directed at the Psychic. Marilyn tends to get all doom and gloom if she thinks we are telling too much.” I tell her.

 

Emmett was about to say something when we hear a very unladylike Marilyn.

 

“Those three bitches, you just wait. I’m going to make them wish they didn’t fuck with me.” Marilyn yells at us.

 

“Could you say that in English for the people who can’t read minds?” I ask her.

 

“Vic, you know, reliable Vic. The person who would give you shirt off his back to help anyone?” She doesn’t seem to want an answer. “Change the V to M and add KEY what do you get? I’ll tell you, your best friend.” Marilyn tells me. 

 

“Mickey?” I ask her. 

 

“Fucking drop the C, if it makes it any better.” She tells me. 

JUSTIN 

 

“What does Michael have to do with this?” I ask Marilyn.

 

“At first not a lot, he is as clueless as ever. After Brian dies he can’t seem to get over it. The only person willing to listen to him was Lindsay. You need to remember that Lindsay caused all this to begin with. Instead of trying to help Michael through it, she kept telling him that if Brian and Justin hadn’t met he would probably have been in Justin’s place in Brian’s life. She told Michael if he hadn’t run off after other men, Brian would have eventually given into his feelings. You know how Michael was, he finally had someone tell him what he always believed was the reason he didn’t get his fairy tale with Brian. Michael started believing it, and when he died a couple weeks later, he ended up in Heaven, but when he tried to find you Brian, he was told by Vic that you chose to return and try to be with Justin. That was not the fantasy he wanted, and Vic didn’t seem sympathetic to Michael. Michael wanted to find his mother, she would understand him. Vic had to tell him the truth. That Deb got in trouble for hurting Justin’s life. Remember, Michael always blamed Justin for everything, so it was just one more thing that Justin took from him. He convinced Vic to let him see his mom, then Michael guilted Vic into staying in Purgatory with Deb, because he owed it to his sister. Which makes me want to slap Vic, but he loves Deb. Then Michael played fun and games, just like Kira was hinting to you Emmett.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“I would have known the difference between Vic and Michael.” I tell him.

 

“Would you? Were you always together up there after you delivered Brian back?” Marilyn asks me.

 

“No, I wanted to spend time with Kira, we aren’t going to see each other for years. In fact, Vic convinced me I needed to do that for Kira.” I tell her.

 

“Was he happy to let you spend time with Brian?” Ted cuts in.

 

“He actually acted like it was a chore to have to keep doing me favors, but I was allowed to come back that night, our first night together.” I tell them.

 

“What did he say when you went back?” Marilyn asks me. 

 

“He was kind of pissy because I told Brian things. That little fucking weasel.” I tell everyone.

 

“Why isn’t Michael in Purgatory? From the way it sounds he would have fit right in.” Mel asks us.

 

“Michael never really did anything, think about it. Other than chasing Brian, he lived a boring life. He would have been able to apologize and would have been forgiven by all of you. No real reason to keep him out.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“I don’t understand, what would make the two of them try to change things? Neither Lindsay nor Michael was never going to get Brian. Lindsay because of the lack of a penis, and in a way Michael for the same reason.” Mel tells us.

 

“They are part of the ‘Cult of Kinney’.” Ted tells us.

 

“What are you talking about Teddy?” Emmett look confused.

 

“Think about a cult, you go there because they show you a life where you're wanted. Everything is wonderful and you feel included for the first time. Cult followers are people who were looking for acceptance from anyone. They join and do all kinds of stupid things because the leader asks it of them. Michael was a lonely comic geek who got beat up and no one wanted to talk to. He meets Brian who was popular and they had one thing in common, they were gay. Michael and Brian had a secret that made Michael special because at the time, only he knew. As you and Michael grow up Brian, you protected him and like a good little follower, he took care of you. In fact the only time Michael ever gave you shit was when you chose a trick over him.” Ted tells us.

 

“Using your theory, Lindsay's family barely noticed her, Lynette was the one they showed off. They made sure Lindsay knew if she wanted to them to be proud, Lynette was the example to follow. She meets you and you become Peter to her Wendy. Your own special club, only she was invited. You let her feel special, she’s the only woman you had sex with and you were always there for her. Hell you let her have the cult’s leader’s baby, in her mind she should have been by your side not Justin.” Mel tells us.

 

“Somehow this ends up Brian’s fault?” I ask them.

 

“No, Brian didn’t encourage them to think that way. He was protecting his friends. He can’t help how they took it.” Ted tells us.

 

“Explain what this has to do with what’s going on?” Brian asks Marilyn.

 

“Michael here doesn’t know. I need to start with that. Deb is in Purgatory, that was true, along with the reason. Vic did try to help her, but in the end told her she needed to help herself. He couldn’t keep trying to save his sister. Michael guilted Vic until he finally went to stay with Deb. Vic wouldn’t have helped them, and Deb isn’t going to have Michael do something that would hurt her baby. Don’t get me wrong, if she can get out she will, but not at the cost of you two. When she was told that was the only way out, she told them she would stay in purgatory. She isn’t there to prove she's right but to accept her punishment.  She wasn’t happy when Vic joined her, but we can save them. All it takes is getting her to let Michael deal with his own problems, like any other adult. She is hoping we can stop this Michael from becoming the future Michael. Michael can’t come here because, he is, as your daughter put it, on the tip of hell. One wrong move and he won’t be a problem for you. Lindsay was sent here so she is staying out of hell, until she dies. She isn’t going back to Purgatory.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“What does she want? Sorry, but I’m not going to play her games.” Brian tells us.

 

“She thinks the only reason she never achieved anything in life is because she wasn’t with Brian.” Mel tells us.

 

“How do you know that?” Brian asks Mel.

 

“It makes the most sense, Justin had everything her greedy heart wanted. The man, the career, and eventually a child. Gus was no longer her way to show the world Brian would have only picked her to be the mother of his child. You wouldn’t run after them anymore, you had a life she wanted, right.” Mel tells him.

 

“Unless it involved Gus, I didn’t talk to Lindsay. Michael agreed with Lindsay all the time, I had other people in my life, I didn’t need the two of them anymore. That happened in the life Lindsay changed? I don’t remember the other future.” Brian tells her.

 

“You didn’t have time for them in that one either,” Marilyn tells us.

 

“You know what Justin, it wasn’t stupid, you know that you have to keep learning to improve something. Otherwise you just score the same score each life.” Brian tells me.

 

“Excuse me but I get 1560 on my SATs this time.” I can’t help it, it’s too great. 

 

“Wait, you score that high?” Ted asks me.

 

“No, my first score was 1500. I wanted to do better this time. I think with everything you experience you should be able to take the knowledge and improve yourself.” I tell him.

 

“Now I understand why I loved you.” Mel tells me. I run and hug the sister of my heart.

 

“Is that good? I never took the test. My family didn’t pay for anything that we couldn’t eat.” Emmett asks.

 

“I doubt anyone in this room scored higher on it.” Mel tells him.

 

 I squeeze her tighter. I look at Brian and he is suddenly looking everywhere but me. “What was your score?” I ask him. I never did ask him.

 

“Not that good.” He’s such a liar.

 

“How good was it Mr. Kinney?” I ask him.

 

“Why does it matter?” Brian tells us.

 

“1510.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“Holy shit, why didn’t you tell me. You made such a big deal about my score, even used it to question my intelligence when I made shitty decisions.” I tell him.

 

“If I told you, you would have thrown it back in my face for the same reasons. I liked that I could use it.” Brian smirks.

 

“So the idiot twosome are both trying to repeat history, and somehow think it will change.” Emmett asks.

 

“Change only happens when you work for it. Those two couldn’t change if they tried, it would require us to do it for them.” Brian tells us.

 

“What does Deb have to do with this? You said three bitches.” I ask Marilyn.

 

“Not Deb, think of some other person who wouldn’t be thrilled with her life.” Marilyn asks us.

 

“My mom?” Brian asks. We know she’s in Purgatory.

 

“No, she is afraid to mention you, because she thinks you stop her from getting to Heaven finally. Really think hard about it Brian, who hates you for getting out of the cycle of the Kinney family?” Marilyn asks.

 

“Claire. Shit, unless she wants something I don’t even see her. Lindsay and Michael hate her.” Brian tells us.

 

“They are letting Claire help them.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“What does Claire get out of this?” I ask.

 

“She thinks that Lindsay is going to help her get out of Hell. Claire killed herself, no forgiveness for that.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“I didn’t know Claire killed herself.” I look at Brian.

 

“It was after, I paid for the funeral, just didn’t attend.” Brian shrugged.

 

“Why would Claire believe Lindsay?” Mel wanted to know.

 

“You did when she told you she wanted you to be Gus’s mom.” Emmett tells her.

 

“You were the best mother he could have had, no matter what shit he pulled, you were there for him and JR. Brian tells Mel. 

 

Shit JR, what happens to her?” Brian asks Marilyn.

 

“That depends on how we play out the next few years.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“Justin and I tow the line and everything is happily ever after, fuck that.” Brian tells him.

 

“No, I think it’s time we grow up the Queers, starting with the person who taught everyone to take care of her baby.” Marilyn tells us.

 

BRIAN

 

“Please tell me Deb and Vic are innocent.” Emmett begs Marilyn. I know I want that too.

 

“She did everything but she’s in Purgatory for trying to excuse her behavior. She wasn't willing to play out the future, if she was right you lose each other. They told her she had to or stay in Purgatory. Deb told them to go ahead and send her, because she would lose either way. Vic, being self sacrificing, wanted to comfort his sister, not fuck with you guys.” Marilyn seemed relieved about that.

 

“Hey, that means Emmett and I can go to ‘See the Light’.” Justin tells us.

 

“Justin, really that is all you can think about?” I ask him.

 

“Come on Brian, I think we should use it as a group project. Mel want to be my lesbian date?” Justin waggles his eyebrows.

 

“What are you talking about?” She asks Justin.

 

“Emmett thinks he got HIV in a couple months when he finds out he didn’t, he turns away fine ass men and runs to this group called ‘See the Light’. They’re all gay people who think if you just fuck your way through it with the opposite sex you’ll suddenly become straight.” Justin tells her.

 

“You think this is what you need to be doing? We have other problems.” I tell Justin.

 

“Michael and Lindsay are a pain in the ass. Your sister Claire isn’t worth the tissue to wipe my ass with. So far the only thing that Lindsay has gotten out of all of this repeat and rewind is you are never going to give her what she wants. We can’t change anything for her, why waste the time. Mel on the other hand, doesn’t have to waste years being shit on by Lindsay. Michael can learn, so we help him realize he has to make his own way in the world, no one is going to pick up after him anymore.” Justin tells us.

 

“So I don’t get Ben?” Emmett pouts.

 

“No, you get an Ironman.” I tell him.

 

“JUSTIN!” Marilyn shouts.

 

“What? I didn’t tell him which one.” Justin always looks so innocent. 

 

“I marry a football player? Um, aren’t they all like redneck assholes?” Emmett asks us.

 

 

 

 

 

MARILYN

 

“Is that everything we need to know?” Brian asks me.

 

“It catches us up to the present. Here is the new set of problems; Blake, and that Mel is about to get busy with Mary Ann, way ahead of schedule.” I tell them.

 

“It is what it is. We work with what we’re given and move on.” Justin tells me.

 

“Things aren’t going to run the way we remember. Little problem, Michael didn’t get his best friend trying to interfere with his and David’s relationship. And since Brian has developed Emmett’s habit of telling everything he knows, everyone in this room knows things they shouldn’t.” I tell them.

 

“It saves time, Michael is going to break up with David either way, what difference does it make?” Brian asks me.

 

“Well, it’s just that you let Michael go to make his own decisions about David.” I tell him.

 

“No, I pushed him to get the life that Deb wanted for him. I’ve already done that, by not trying to act like I was jealous.” Brian reasons.

 

“You get them back together, otherwise Michael wouldn’t have bothered.” I tell them.

 

“So we have the fucking party, why are you trying to make this harder?” Brian asks me.

 

“Okay, that would work.” I tell him.

 

“At least this time I don’t have to listen to everyone tell me I’m an asshole for helping Deb.” He tells Justin.

 

“Catch us up to that.” Emmett insists on it.

 

“Deb shows up at the loft and tells me that I need to let Michael have a life. She tells me he broke up with David because I kept stringing him along. Part of it was true, I didn’t like the way David treated Michael like a trophy. He got a younger man, and was showing off. So when Deb told me to do something, I did.” Brian tells them.

 

“Yeah, you outed him to Tracy, who thinks Michael would be a good future husband. Had everyone pissed because you hurt Mikey. It took everything I had not to tell Deb the next morning what a selfish bitch she was, for having you ostracized for Michael.” Justin tells Brian.

 

“Were we really bad about it?” Emmett asks.

 

“All of you acted like Brian should have kissed Michael’s ass for forgiveness. Yes, you were that bad. I ended up taking Brian’s present to Michael and telling him why Brian did it. I wanted Brian to have Michael, if he wanted him.” Justin tells Emmett.

 

“You would have let Brian go, if he wanted Michael?” Emmett asks.

 

“The twat took a bat to the head to save Daphne, Mel and Lindsay. So yes he would have, because he can’t be selfish like the rest of us.” Brian tells them.

 

“Wait, what do you mean a bat to the head?” Mel asks.

 

“I get bashed at my prom, by a fellow student. I end up in a coma.” Justin tells them.

 

“He did it to save the people Brian mentioned. He was given the choice before he started his new life. Justin didn’t feel what happens to him was as bad as what happened to the others. He told them to let him be bashed.” I  tell them.

 

“You let yourself be hurt to save Lindsay and me?” Mel asks.

 

“I was going to survive. You weren’t, it was an easy choice for me to make.” Justin tells them.

 

“Justin, that is a big thing. You saved a person who would push you into oncoming traffic, if she get’s what she wants.” Emmett tells him.

 

“It makes me a better person, I won’t be like her just to get back at her.” Justin tells us.

 

“I don’t want you in a coma.” Emmett grabs Justin and pulls him in his lap.

 

“He won’t be. And do you have to molest him?” Brian yanks Justin to him. Emmett smiles at a jealous Brian.

 

“We figured out that we keep Daphne with us and get Chris to the garage. We wanted to try to get him in trouble, but since we don’t know where he’ll end up, the garage is the safest place to put him.” Justin tells us.

 

“If Ted and I wait there to keep him from doing anything, it will be even better.” Emmett tells us.

 

“Brian is there with me.” Justin tells them.

 

“Why is Brian with you?” Mel asks him.

 

“I wanted him to come to my prom. I still want that.” Justin tells them.

 

“Brian has to do it Mel, it’s the first time Brian shows Justin his feelings.” I tell Mel. 

 

BRIAN

 

“I still don’t remember that.” Justin tells me.

 

“I was trying and after what Chris Hobbs did, I thought it was my fault so I pulled away.” I tell him.

 

“Yeah, you did. I almost killed my room, because you didn’t want to see me.” He tells me.

 

“Brian, you need to tell him.” Marilyn tells me.

 

“Tell me what? It was okay that he didn’t show up at the hospital. He was hurting too, and no one helped him.” Justin acts like it was okay, but I know it wasn’t.

 

“Tell him. He deserves to know.” Marilyn keeps insisting.

 

“I was at the hospital every night. I would leave Babylon and stay there till I had to go to work.” I tell him.

 

“Why didn’t you come in?” Justin asks me.

 

“You were almost killed because I showed up at your prom. I deserved to have to watch you and not touch you. I know, it wasn’t my fault but everyone acted like it was.” I tell him. It’s not so hard now that I know why it happened.

 

“How the fuck am I supposed to go home to Lindsay?” Mel blurts out.

 

“We're going to take a page from Justin’s book, do it for our son. I have to do something that I didn’t want to do, but your the best mother Gus could have. He needs you, so remember that is your reason.” I tell her.

 

“Brian, you can’t do it.” Justin tells me.

 

“I need Mel to have the leverage to keep Gus. Unless I make her Gus’s legal mother, Lindsay can keep Gus from her too.” I tell Justin.

 

“Brian, I can stay long enough to get you and I legal rights. You don’t have to give up everything.” Mel tells him.

 

“Why, you hated the idea of me being in Gus’s life.” I tell her.

 

“I didn’t see the reason I was against you. I was in love with Lindsay and I felt like a consolation prize, when you came around. I now know I was, but instead of blaming her, I took it out on you. I thought Lindsay couldn’t love me the way I wanted because you wouldn’t leave us alone. Like Deb said, I was a coward, I let Lindsay do whatever she wanted just to make her happy. That is my fault not yours.” Mel tells him.

 

“I did the same thing, Brian was the reason Michael didn’t love me.” Ted tells us.

 

“Okay lesbians, enough blaming yourselves, time to figure out how to solve everything.” I tell them.

 

“Marilyn what about my Dad?” Justin asks her.

 

“He finds out who Brian is, but we aren’t going to see him till you two hang out at Babylon.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“So no car crash? Cause I like my new Jeep.” I do, it’s grown on me.

 

“No, he is still trying to convince Jen to cut Justin out of their lives.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“Michael hasn’t broken up with David yet has he?” Justin asks her.

 

“He is trying to decide if he wants to go on vacation with him or not.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“If he does?” I ask.

 

“Michael gets back on schedule, he does everything we remember. If not you need to find a way to throw a party sooner.” Marilyn tells me. 

 

“Emmett that is your job, convince him to go.” I tell Emmett.

 

“He doesn’t listen to me.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Make it sound like I don’t like it.” I tell him.

 

“That would work.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Not to sound whiny, but do I get to do anything or am I just old reliable Ted?” Ted asks.

 

“You and I need to work on starting a company. Take Blake to rehab and we’ll get you two to meet later, without you becoming a ‘Crystal Queen’.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, Stockwell.” Marilyn mentions.

 

“You think I’m not going to take care of him when the time comes?” I tell her.

 

“You can’t save Jason Kemp, I know you want to Justin.” She tells Justin .

 

“Why not, we know what happens to him.” Justin argues.

 

“He left Heaven to start a wonderful life and you’ll interfere with that.” Marilyn tells him.

 

“Okay, I don’t like it, but I’ll leave it alone.” Justin tells her.

 

“I guess it’s time to make up with Deb, shit this is going to suck.” I tell them.

 

“At least you don’t have to go to school everyday.” Justin tells me.

 

“Or work in retail.” Emmett adds.

 

“Sit at a desk in a closet size room, man I never thought of how that symbolized the world’s view of gay men.” Ted tells us.

 

“What, I have an awesome job.” Mel tells us as we all look at her.

 

“You never seem to win a case or even get one to go to court.” Justin tells her.

 

“Do you really think I could have made partner if I didn’t win something?” Mel asks him.

 

“How am I supposed to know. I just know you didn’t seem to do anything but bitch about how being a lesbian and a woman hurt your career.” Justin tells her.

 

“It did, can’t sugar coat the truth. If she had been a man, do you think her partner would have pulled the same shit. Mel might have been pregnant at the time but she didn’t deserve to not be told about what they were doing.” I tell him.

 

“I was pregnant? I can’t get pregnant, Brian. That is why Lindsay had the baby.” Mel tells me.

 

“Brian.” Marilyn warns me. Fuck em.

 

“You were able to solve your endometriosis, you and Michael have a daughter.” I tell her.

 

“Why Michael, I mean Ted would be my first choice.” Mel smiles at Ted.

 

“That was when Emmett and Ted were being idiots and dating, it didn’t make Ted look like a good candidate, or Emmett for that matter. You didn’t want me, and Justin was only nineteen so you thought he was too young. You choose Michael, but you need too. JR is the daughter of my heart.” I want her to be here.

 

“Marilyn, are we going to have JR, or is it impossible now?” Justin asks her.

 

“JR is the child that will be born if Mel and Michael have a baby. That is all you're getting, I don’t like the way you're playing with fate.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“Don’t give me that shit, you didn’t seem to mind when you knew I was being fucked over by what Lindsay did. So either give us the fucking answers, or know the future is on your head.” Justin turns into the WASP I know.

 

“Fine, Mel suggest to Deb that you want to eventually have a kid, and you think Michael would be a good father. Michael will donate and you can freeze it until you use it in two years.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“We all need to go, I have to put in my notice at work. Ted you need to start arranging the loans, and when we get them, quit your job. You're about to become my right hand. Emmett deal with Michael. Justin go score higher, so you can crow about it. Mel, can you work the contracts with Ted?” I give instructions.

 

“Yeah, just send them to my house. I won’t have to charge you that way.” She tells me.

 

“No, you are going to charge me. It makes it so you can’t talk to Lindsay about it. She is going to try to find out anything. You won’t tip her off, if it’s confidentiality.” I tell her.

 

“You're right, but we need to get Gus straightened out, because I don’t want to be around her anymore.” Mel tells me. 

 

“Then invite me over to sign what we need. Let’s see how Lindsay likes the change.” I tell her.

 

“Can we come too, please, please? I promise to be good.” Emmett asks us.

 

“Brunch? She can’t act up in front of everyone.” Mel suggest.

 

“I promise not to fuck the priest.” I tell them.

 

“You better be ready to tell me that story.” Emmett tells me.

 

“I kind of thought that was hot, you sure we can’t do that?” Justin asks me.

 

“It’s a year early, so sure after you graduate we can go to the baths.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, you trick with Justin?” Ted asks.

 

“We haven’t yet, which is weird, because Justin is like the energizer bunny. Marilyn, you have some explaining on why that hasn’t been going on?” I ask her.

 

“Nothing I did. You aren’t twenty-nine, your sev...your mindset is older. Unlike a club boy trying to prove everyone wants him. You want to prove to Justin he was the one.” Marilyn tells me.

 

“I was the one, a trick didn’t make me think I was less to Brian.” Justin tells us.

 

“Then tell him what causes it. It will save time.” Marilyn tells Justin.

 

“Michael was always more important. Every Time Michael needed you, you ran out the door. Vermont was a good example, if you had promised Michael, I know you would have found a way to do it. You threw Michael a party but couldn’t even bother to get me a card. I didn’t need a party, but fuck, was it so hard to fold a piece of paper and write Happy Birthday on it? Instead of trying to keep me you had to save face in front of a bunch of queers in Babylon. I had to help Michael with the comic because you wanted me too. Even though he told me to get out of your lives, I left and you made me feel selfish for not helping Michael. Then you run around pretending not to give a shit anymore, and I believed it. It doesn’t excuse what I did, it’s just the reasoning I had at the time. We got back together and yet if Michael or Lindsay needed you you ran to the rescue. I don’t even think you ever knew, I put a gun in Hobbs mouth and that caused me to realize the Pink Posse was just as bad as Hobbs. I go to Hollywood and you didn’t seem to give a shit I was gone. You give me this half ass invitation back into your loft, I think you knew I couldn’t come home yet. When the bombing happened, you found me but took off the minute someone told you about Michael. I stayed at your club and helped get people out, then you suddenly tell me you love me out loud. It just seemed like I was always going to play second fiddle to the ‘Brian and Michael Show’. You didn’t cause me to feel that way, it was just what I thought, so please don’t get upset about this. I wouldn’t talk to you about it, because l didn’t know how.” Justin tells me.

 

“Michael was more important at first, we just met. I was waiting for you to leave me, so I tried not to hold on too tight. Vermont is us not talking, if I had told you I was going to lose my job, I worried how you would view me. Your birthday, I can’t and won’t make excuses for that, I wasn’t willing to show you I cared. I wanted you to be able to afford things, without the comic you weren’t going to be able to afford things. I didn’t find out until I punched him that he told you to go away. I could keep going on, but I loved you most of our life, and I promise not to do those things to you.” I tell him.

 

“You punch Michael?” Ted asks Brian.

 

“He opened his mouth and said something I should have never forgiven him for.” I don’t ever want Justin to know.

 

“Wow, are we going to see that?” Emmett ask Marilyn.

 

“Yes you are.” Marilyn tells me.

 

“I thought without the bashing, he wouldn’t have a reason to do it.” I tell her.

 

“You’ll see when it happens, but trust me everyone is going to be happy you did it.” Marilyn tells me.  

 

“I know what he said Brian, people overheard him. I just didn’t care what he said. Michael has foot in mouth disease, he thinks he’s helping, but he ends up saying fucked up shit.” Justin tells me. 

 

“I never wanted you to know I let him get away with it.” I tell him.

 

“Brian I left you for another man, you had the right to be bitter about it. Anyone else would have been bad mouthing me all over town, you didn’t. Don’t give Michael that much importance, he feeds off of it.” Justin tells me.

 

“I think I need to take you home and show you who was important to me.” I tell him.

 

“I know, but I don’t mind you showing me.” Justin tells me.

 

“God, can I please get laid. I’ve been a good boy, but for some reason I can’t get laid.” Emmett talks to the ceiling.

 

“I know what you mean, I got hard when Justin used that come hither voice.” Ted tells Emmett.

 

“Men, I’m going to watch some girl on girl. I have to get that picture out of my head.” Mel tells us.

 

“Everyone at the diner in the morning?” I ask them.

 

“Michael and Lindsay will show.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Let’s play then.” I tell them.

 

BRIAN 

 

I needed to show Justin he was mine, that no matter what anybody thinks, he will always be the one. When we walked into the loft, I closed the door and pushed him against it. I needed to feel the connection we shared, I needed him to feel it. Justin started tearing at my clothes, this wasn’t going to be gentle, this was us. Two people who can’t stand being separated by anything. I took his shirt off, to feel his skin joining to mine. If I could fuse us together, I would have. This man is my other half, we were born to find each other.

 

We slowly back up to the cushions on the floor and I keep him standing so I can unwrap him. As I lower his pants and underwear, I lick every inch of skin I can reach. I make him watch as I kneel and wrap my mouth around his stone hard cock and swallow him entirely. Justin’s moan and the fingers he glides around my face are more erotic to me than the actual fucking. Justin and I make love with our minds and our bodies. I increase the suction to get him to cum. I feel him shivering and want him to give me his essence. I pull back until I'm able to use my tongue to lap around the nerve endings that will make him cum for me. He looks into my eyes and knows what I want. I taste him as he cums and want to give him all of me. As he finishes I bring him down to straddle my lap. Justin reaches between us to undo my zipper. Instead of taking off my pants, he slides his hand in and pulls my cock out. I lay back and let him take the lube and condom out of my wallet. Justin rips open the condom and slides it on. He pours the lube over the condom and then onto my fingers. I slide my hand under is balls and work my fingers into him. He starts riding my fingers to get us ready. I wait until I feel him accepting all three fingers easily before I remove them and sit back up. Lifting his hips, he allows my cock entrance. I lean so we can look into each other's eyes as Justin begins to ride me. We never look away from each other as our pace quickens. I thrust hard to elicit moans from both of us and can feel we are both ready to explode. Justin’s breathing becomes more rapid and I move my hips just right to give him what he needs to cum. I start to piston, holding his hips to keep the momentum I need. I feel my climax start and know the wetness I feel is him joining me. I stay inside him, so we can be one for as long as possible. When it's time to end this, I lift Justin so we can go shower, but I wrap my arms around him from behind so we can stay one.

 

After the shower, Justin and I fall into bed. Justin wraps his arms around his pillow and falls asleep. I lay there watching him sleep and I thank anyone who made it possible for me to hear him breathing, while he lays next to me.

 

I think about tonight and I want to say something about all the things Justin said. I know we were an example of ‘how to fuck up over and over’, in the other life. The truth isn't pretty. I spent so much time worrying about aging that I went out of my way to hurt him. I let people like Michael and Lindsay constantly remind him that I wouldn’t give him what he wanted. What really bothers me is Justin was right, if I had promised Michael, I'd have done what I said I would. Not because Michael meant more, but because I never expected Justin to stay. I never believed anyone could really love the messed up person I was. Michael stayed around taking my crumbs and invading my life and I rewarded him for it. Justin stayed and expected me to become a better person. He wasn’t going to be another Michael in my life. Justin loved me enough to want me to have what I wanted, and I punished him for it. I made him jump through hoops to prove to me that he was going to stay. Then when he was willing to commit to me, I made him think that my loving him would be a sacrifice to my beliefs. If Justin had lived, I know he would have forced me to decide if I was going to play the aging club boy or become the man he knew I was. I know that is why the tricking has been nonexistent. I don’t know if I can watch him with other guys anymore. I know I want to do the things we enjoyed, but I lived to be seventy-seven and my life no longer needed those things. I think we need to decide what we can handle, because people touching him makes me postal. I also don’t want to deny him what he wants. It’s what made it so hard to keep him the first time he left.

 

The real reason is, Justin loves so completely, he doesn't hold back. Justin gives everything to the people he loves, understanding and acceptance. He doesn’t take the easy way out. Michael always made it sound like Justin used me and threw it away when he found something better. Only Justin and I know the truth, something he never used to make me feel like a shit. Justin tried so hard to stay, but when the person you love is holding the door open, and practically shoving you through it, it makes it hard to stay. Justin never really left me, unlike Michael who wrote me off if I didn’t fit into his world. Justin was always there to take care of me, and I never knew he did it. It wasn’t about credit, it was about making sure I was okay. The guy who could have let me burn, ran out and saved me. My best friend offers me food and tells me I should have been more careful. Deciding who got my loyalties should have been a no brainer, but as Michael says, I’m Brian Fucking Kinney. I forgive Michael for telling me Justin should have died, but run around making sure Justin never knows I cared. I’ll admit it, I was scared of what Justin made me feel, people didn’t love me like Justin did.

 

With each person I added to my life, there was always something I had to do for the love they told me they had for me. I felt like Deb loved me because I took care of Michael. I always had to take care of Michael to have Deb’s approval. I became a good man if Michael was happy, and an asshole if I didn’t kiss his ass to Deb’s approval. 

 

Michael was this lonely confused kid, that latched on to anybody willing to befriend him. I made the mistake of thinking we were brothers. Michael wanted something I couldn’t give him. Michael loved someone who I made him believe I was, and he never looked beyond that. Ted was right, unless I follow Michael’s rules, Michael would pull away from me. Michael did to me what I did to Justin. I ran to try to make up with a person who would leave me on the side of the road if I didn’t live up to his expectations. Now I see that at the time I tried to keep anyone who would stay with me. 

 

Lindsay, I can’t call it love, it’s like she covets me. I'm everything her family wants, on the outside. If I had been straight, I don’t think Lindsay would have dabbled in being a lesbian, she would have found a way to get me to marry her. I know if I had told her we could be together, no one would have been able to stop her. She’d have me tied up in so many knots that I wouldn’t be able to escape without bleeding for it.

 

Vic is probably one of the few that loved a kid who needed it. I know it's the reason I haven't been to see him. Like Marilyn said, shattered illusions. I know I felt the the tension leave me, with the knowledge that Vic didn’t disappoint me.

 

With these shining examples, when a seventeen year old kid professed his love, I threw it in his face for the next five years. I made him prove to me he would be there, while I shit all over him for it. When he left me for the fiddler, I felt I was justified in my assumption. Justin constantly takes full blame for what happened, I never had to hear it was my fault we imploded, he took the brunt of the blame and just let me have the leftovers. Justin didn’t see that I crept around him, hiding my hurt at him leaving. I reverted back to being Brian Fucking Kinney, only I didn’t like who I was as much. I had to get high just to pretend I was happy. I was looking in crowds for the high I felt by just having him in my life. I hated that I was constantly looking for something to keep him in my life, be it a blond hustler, or my excuses to get Justin to come around. The fact that I could only come up with a poster, just shows how desperate I became. I let Justin keep believing, I used him, not that even being in the same room allowed me to breathe. Just him standing next to me was like finding my home. How do you tell someone you love that you were afraid of loving him, because you didn't think you could survive if he left you. 

 

“You don’t need to tell me anything, Brian. We loved each other enough to keep trying. If I had lived we would have done the things we were going to do. The separation wouldn’t have mattered.” Justin tells me.

 

“You're my home.” I finally figure out what to say.

 

EMMETT

 

It’s hard to escape your own roommate. I thought he was with David, but no, he was sitting on my bed scowling at me. I tried to go to bed and ignore his pouting but when Michael wants something no one gets any peace until he decides it’s time. 

 

“Where did you and Ted go? I looked everywhere tonight. I finally got out of someone that you, Ted, and Mel left Woody’s together, but no one seemed to know where you went.” Michael sits there and acts like I owe him an explanation. Before tonight I would have given him what he wanted.

 

“We hung out.” I tell him.

 

“You couldn’t have called me and invited me?” He whines.

 

“You were supposed to be out with David. I don’t usually want to hang out with my friends when I start a relationship.” I tell him.

 

“So this is punishment because you can’t find a boyfriend?” He spits out.

 

“You want to know something, I don’t have to be at your beck and call. I have a life and sometimes it doesn’t include you. You know, like I wasn’t included on your date.” I point out.

 

“Emmett, your problem is that you date losers. You're never going to find anyone if you spend all your time chasing kids. Look at Ted, he is dating a Crystal Queen, because he can’t get a date with someone worth his time. You could change the way you dress and act and men would want you. Would it really hurt you to wear something that doesn’t scream ‘queen’?” The dating expert tells me.

 

“No more than it would hurt you to stop wearing kid superhero shirts and last centuries jeans.” I tell him. He is not going to tell me how to dress and act.

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, it’s just, like Ted, people take one look at him and instead of giving him a chance, they think Ted is an unattractive boring guy. Guys look at you and think you're a flaming queen, they don’t want to risk being judged for going out with you. None of which is true, they miss out on the great guy you are.” He tells me. Was that supposed to be a compliment? 

 

I wait for him to say the same about Ted being a great guy. He looks like I should be thanking him for telling me this information.

 

“Not that I don’t appreciate the backhanded compliment, but is there some reason you think you're an expert?” I asked the asshole.

 

“Well look at the guy who wants to date me, and compare him to the rest of the guys you all date or in Brian’s case adopt-a-trick.” Michael tells me. Oh, now I get it. Michael knows we left with Brian.

 

“I happen to like Justin, he seems to think my flame should burn bright. Since you seem embarrassed to introduce me to David, I don’t know if I want to know him.” I tell the fucker.

 

“I just don’t think he would be thrilled with my choice of friends.” Michael tells me.

 

“Maybe you should consider moving out, I wouldn’t want David to have to suffer my presence. You know, I don’t think anything you could say would dig you out of the hole you just dug yourself into, so could you get off my bed and I’ll change into something you wouldn’t be ashamed to see me sleep in. You could wear something besides the same shit you wear all day to bed.” I couldn’t hold it back. Michael, my friend, is telling me, not to be me.

 

“Emmett, I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just upset that everyone seems to be doing things without me lately.” Michael tells me. Justin’s right, fucked up shit just flies out of Michael’s mouth.

 

“Why don’t you go to your room and grow a fucking clue at the shit you just said to me.” I tell him.

 

I watch him walk out of the room and I walk over to the door. 

 

“You don’t need to worry about my love life Michael. I spent the entire evening with two people who would travel through Heaven and Hell for each other. And watching that kind of love makes your new relationship look really shallow.” I slam my door in his face and lock it.  

 

 

BRIAN 

 

Justin and I arrive early, I wanted a chance to talk to Deb alone. She stood at the counter and glared at me, which means I have to kiss her ass for forgiveness. I almost did it, but I promised myself no more groveling to the Novotny clan. I lead Justin to a booth and decided to let Deb come to me. 

 

“Brian let me handle this, Deb will be less bitchy with me.”Justin tells me.

 

“I wasn’t going to make a big issue out of this, I just refuse to let her use me going to her as a power play.” I tell him.

 

“You do realize we’re dealing with Deb. Everything is a power play. I just think she would listen to me. She doesn’t know any weak points about me, so she can’t use them.” Justin tells me.

 

“Just don’t make it worse.” I tell him. Deb walks over to us and I can see she is waiting for me to make the first move. 

 

“Morning Sunshine, I see you’re still with Asshole.” Deb expects me to apologize after that greeting? Justin starts looking around the diner. The twat gets up and looks behind him, at the counter and then all the other tables.

 

“What are you looking for Sunshine?” Deb asks him.

 

“The person you called asshole.” Justin gives her a confused look.

 

“You're sitting next to him.” She tells him. 

 

“You mean Brian, because when you say asshole, you imply a broad range of people. Yes, I'm still with Brian, if that was to whom you were referring. Wait, is that what the ‘A’ in your name stands for? I thought you told me it was for Aiden. It’s what Brian told my mom, or did you not want to offend her ears, with such a rudely unfortunate name? If Asshole is your middle name, then I can promise you my mom wouldn't use it, she would respect you not wanting to be called by it. If it isn’t, then why can’t Deb get your name right? She must not love you the way she told my mom, or she would use your name. Unless you call everyone else other names, like the one you gave me.” Justin watches a confused Deb, but continues. “What's Michael’s pet name? If you don’t have one Deb, I thought of a few. Needy, self absorbed, whining, foot in mouth, dick head, but we probably should shorten it to something like Captain Shithead, easier to say. Since I was raised as a WASP, we tend to just say he’s SPECIAL and leave out all the insults. What was your question again?” Justin smiling through the whole thing made it harder for Deb to say anything. 

 

“Brian needs to apologize for the way he acted. He should have come to me, not walked to the booth.” Deb looks so confused. “I don’t appreciate you insulting Michael.” She glares at Justin. 

 

“Before he does, can I ask you what wonderful enlightened things you were planning on telling my mom? That way Brian can also apologize for thinking it would go something like, ‘The asshole is too selfish give your son what he wants’. Because if that's what you were going to say, Brian should get an apology for all the years he gave in to your son and you.” Justin tells her. 

 

“Sunshine, if you knew Brian the way I did…” Justin cuts her off.

 

“Here’s the thing Deb, what I know is that you seem to think cleaning up a few scrapes and bruises gives you the right to pass judgement on anything Brian does. I always thought if you profess to love someone like a son, you want the best for them and try to help them. That the way you treat them is the same. I always hated the way the other parents in my parents circle always treated one child like they walked on water, and expected the other kids to do everything for the ‘SPECIAL CHILD’. You wouldn’t be that kind of parent, everyone is saying how you love them all equally. To me, it makes you super mom, that you wouldn't do something so petty. I would be so disappointed in myself for thinking you weren’t like the crappy parents I’ve been raised around.” Justin tells her. 

 

“I do love Brian like my own.” Deb defends herself.

 

“Then show it, and understand that meeting my mother wouldn’t be easy for Brian. He wanted to be able to show her he wasn't an evil asshole, someone who stole her son, but a man who loves me. Having you there, telling her he fucks all of Pittsburgh, might not sound very encouraging to a woman that still has trouble saying I’m gay. Give Brian the leeway you give to your son. You wouldn’t walk up to Michael with someone new and tell the guy you hope your son is getting some. I mean, how embarrassing would that be for Michael? Not to mention it doesn’t make a great impression of you.” Justin is really laying it on thick.

 

“Sunshine, don't mistake fucking for love. Brian has only ever told my Michael he loves him.” Deb tells him. 

 

“Wow, I get to be the only other person he’s told that to. Aww Brian, I love you too. It means so much to me that you don't toss it out like other people do. It becomes meaningless when people say it, yet treat the words so carelessly. Don’t you agree Deb?” Justin asks her.

 

Deb just stands there, I think that Justin has just rendered her speechless. I really need to stop him before he gives Deb her whole history of mistakes. I was just having too much fun watching my genius at work.

 

“Brian, I know I would have probably said some of the things that Justin just mentioned. I just don’t want his mother to think…” Deb stopped and I could see her trying to word it to sound less like I’m a selfish man who will screw over Justin.

 

“Deb, can we just say neither of us were on our best behavior and let it go. Before you answer, you need to know, I love Justin. I’m not playing at this, he means more than anything in my life to me. The only person who will come first before Justin is Gus. I won’t sit back and have Jen think I’m going to hurt him.” I tell her. 

 

“Oh Brian, you really told him.” She starts crying.

 

“Yes, I told him. I love the twat.” I tell her.

 

“Sunshine, I hope you know I was only looking out for both of you. Let me get your order before I flood the place.” Deb wipes her eyes and waits for us to order.

 

“I think I’ll have four eggs, bacon, toast and a large orange Juice. Wait, can I get hashbrowns with chili… no gravy, and pancakes.” Justin tells her. I can only stare at him.

 

“Oatmeal, Brian?” Deb asks me.

 

“I almost want to take Justin to the hospital and get his cholesterol tested. I think I’ll have two egg whites and toast.” I tell her.

 

“Brian, he’s still growing. You should be thrilled, he could be growing where you want him to.” Deb smirks at me.

 

“He’s grown well in that area.” I smirk back.

 

“Lucky you, I’ll go get my sons some food.” Deb tells us and walks to the window.

 

“I just realized neither of us had to apologize. How did that happen?” I ask him.

 

“Genius power, we talk so much and say so little, that by the time you realize we have just said something over and over in a different way, you give up. Which you know, Mr 1510.” Justin tells me. I will never get to use his score against him again. Wait, he’s going to score higher, I just have to wait then.

 

Justin and I look at the door when the bell rings and see a very bright Emmett coming in with Ted. I know Emmett likes to show his flame, but did he have to flick the lighter up to blowtorch?

 

“Um, what do you think pissed Emmett off?” Justin asks me.

 

“He always dresses like that.” I tell Justin. 

 

“I have never, in all the years of knowing Emmett seen him in hot pink shorts and a neon yellow top. I really want to steal your sunglasses.” Justin tells me.

 

Emmett turns and waves to Deb. No Emmett, just no. We are too old for our asses to hang out of shorts. Justin is right, something pissed off our Queen. I watch as he sashays over to us. He is putting a little too much sway in it, if there were lamps on the tables, he’d be knocking them off. At least we won’t have to ask, Emmett is bound to tell us.

 

“Morning Baby, Brian, don’t you just love my new outfit?” He asks us.

 

You know when even Deb is looking at Emmett’s outfit and thinks it’s out there, it’s out there. Deb walks over just in time to hear the rest of Emmett's speech.

 

“I mean I guess the reason men don’t ask me out is because I don’t dress like Michael, and I tend to flame to much. I mean he told me I’m a great guy but men don’t want to be embarrassed to date a girl like me.” Emmett says. I see Michael entering and heading to us. If he knew what was going on he would run for the hills.

 

“At least I’m not boring like Ted, who only dated Blake because he’s desperate enough to take anyone. According to you Michael, Ted and I aren’t as lucky as you. I mean you were able to finally find a date at almost thirty that Brian didn’t have to arrange. Too bad Brian is so busy with, what did you call Justin? Oh I remember ‘Adopt a Trick’. I should thank you for your advice, I mean you’ve been dating someone all of what, two dates? Hell you even got upset because David didn’t want to fuck you on the first date. Was it the guy you fucked in the…” I cut him off before he says something in front of my salvation. David walked up behind Michael.

 

“Emmett, you know Michael. He reads something or does something new and suddenly he wants to help all of us.” I tell everyone.

 

“Maybe David and I should sit by the door. Emmett, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.” Michael tells Emmett.

 

“Michael, it doesn’t excuse your words.” Deb tells him.

 

“Emmett just took it wrong.” He tells his mother.

 

“Why don’t you take David to the other side of the diner. I wouldn’t want you to have to explain to him why you’re friends with us.” Emmett tells him. 

 

“Emmett, come on. You know I wasn’t saying I believe that.” Michael tells him.

 

“Do yourself a favor Michael, don’t say something if you're going to put your foot in it.” Ted tells him.

 

“What is this, pick on Michael day? I was hoping to introduce you to David. David, I’d like you to meet the guys Brian, Emmett and Ted. Guys, David.” Michael is so clueless.

 

We all just stare at them, I figure David is smart enough to know we aren’t thrilled with Michael.

 

“It’s nice to meet you. I didn’t catch your name.” David looks at Justin.

 

“Justin, Sunshine and Baby, if you're Emmett.” Justin tells him. 

 

“He’s just the kid hanging around Brian.” Michael tells David.

 

“Actually David, Justin is Brian’s live-in partner. Michael just can’t stand that Justin won Brian’s heart.” Emmett wasn’t going to let Michael off.

 

“When you're ready to forgive me, David and I will be over by the door.” Michael informs Emmett.

 

“I would have had to have heard a real apology, not the oops, I didn’t mean it.” Emmett put a little whine in it.

 

Maybe I should just let my friends do all the talking, less shit for me to deal with. Mel comes in and walks around Michael, completely ignoring him.

 

“Mel, maybe you should sit with us, these guys are cranky.” Michael tells her.

 

“I just came in to invite all you guys to Brunch on Sunday. I wanted to celebrate Justin selling out at the GLC and finishing his SATs.” Mel tells us.

 

“That would be great, I could bring David. You could have a welcome party for David. Hopefully everyone will be in a better mood.” Michael walks away. David shrugs and follows him.

 

“Let me go take care of my son, Emmett, he shouldn’t talk to you like that. I’m sorry he did that to you.” Deb tells us.

 

“Deb, you shouldn’t be the one apologizing. If Michael digs a hole, he needs to dig himself out without you trying to make it easier for him to get away with being an asshole.” Mel tells her.

 

“He’s my son…” Mel cuts her off.

 

“I hope one day that if he grows up, he will be willing to be my child’s father. I just don’t think someone who can’t take responsibility for his actions would be a good father.” Mel tells her.

 

“You want Michael to do what Brian did?” Deb asks her.

 

“I think having you in my child’s life would make up for my family not caring. Michael would be a great father if he just learned to think about how what he says sounds. I want my child to understand that you’re responsible for your actions, and with Michael constantly having everyone smoothing his path, he wouldn’t be able teach our child to stand on it’s own feet.” I get why Mel is a lawyer now.

 

“You keep Michael in mind, I’ll make sure you want him when you're ready.” Deb runs off to Michael’s table. 

 

“Interesting way to get sperm Mel. I got the ‘great genes and immortality’ speech. Deb gets you want her to be a grandmother. Like she is going to pass that up.” I tell her.

 

“Would you have fallen for that?” She asked me.

 

“You win that one. Are we going to turn this into a David party, you know, instead of anything to do with Justin?” I ask her.

 

“Noticed that did you? I wonder what he’ll think when we tell everyone you and I signed these papers.” Mel hands me a folder.

 

“Working fast Mel.” I tell her.

 

“After you sign everything, we need to have these filed today, but it won’t be official till Monday morning. My partner is rushing it through a judge he knows. Can you get your lawyer to look these over today?” Mel must have stayed up all night to get this done.

 

“I’ll get him to look it over today, and have it sent to you by lunch.” I tell her.

 

“I had to keep the smile off my face as I got her to sign it. She didn’t even bother to read it, or ask me what it was.” Mel tells me.

 

“You sure it will stand up?” I don’t want to do this and find out Lindsay will still have a stranglehold on us.

 

“Ignorance isn’t an excuse. After staying up all night with one of the other lawyers, Kelly, to get this done. She wanted to come over and watch Lindsay sign it. Kelly told me it keeps Lindsay from trying to say she didn’t sign it in front of a notary.” Mel tells me.

 

“You got someone to agree to do this?” Ted asks her.

 

“Kelly doesn’t like Lindsay. I told Kelly about not wanting Brian as the father. Kelly asked me if it was me, would I pick someone Lindsay didn’t like to father my child. She thought it was a shitty thing to do to someone you are supposed to love. When I called to tell her what I want to do, she was on board with it.” Mel tells us.

 

“What is the real plan at Brunch?” Emmett asks her.

 

“I told her what I told you. I just thought we would mention that Brian, Lindsay and I wanted to co-parent Gus, so we signed to make Brian and I legal guardians to Gus. Lindsay can’t sue Brian because he is the actual father, who has already paid child support. She can try to remove me. I made sure to include the cost of your policy for Gus as child support. Just so you know.” Mel tells me.

 

“What does that mean?” Justin asks her.

 

“That Brian paying two thousand a month on the life insurance policy, is taken out of any child support he is expected to pay. Lindsay implied that Brian was supporting Gus in that way. Lindsay can’t recoup that money unless she pays the payments. So either way Brian doesn’t have to pay Lindsay any support because two thousand is more than Brian would be expected to pay.” Mel tells us.

 

“Mel, I want Gus provided for, I won’t let him suffer because of Lindsay.” I tell her.

 

“Brian, I can handle that for you. As your accountant, she will need to go through me for anything she can’t prove directly affects Gus.” Ted tells me.

 

“That is the reason you become my right hand, Ted.” I tell him. Ted looks down at the table.

 

“Ted, look at me. You need to stop that voice in your head that believes you’re less than you are. Blake isn’t ready for you yet, but the first chance he gets he is always running to you. He did that because you're worth it. Unlike Michael who treats relationships as a way to pass time in hopes that I’ll wake up and suddenly want him. Blake took a step back to become a man you would be proud of. Blake wouldn’t have done that if he thought you were settling for him.” I tell him.

 

“Take Pride Teddy, it’s who we are.” Emmett tells him.

 

“Just don’t wave a flag and say ‘Happy Pride’.” I tell him. Justin laughs and leans across the table and kisses Ted. Ted doesn’t need to smile that much, or start looking at Justin like that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JUSTIN 
Brian realized after we left the diner that Emmett wasn’t going to be able to convince Michael to do anything, if we couldn’t get him to calm down. We both tried to get Emmett to understand that Michael going with David would get him out of everyone’s hair for a weekend, Emmett just flounced away. Brian told Ted to get Emmett to meet us at Woody’s tonight, he figured if Emmett was still pissed we’d know by how outrageously he dressed. Emmett walked into Woody’s wearing skin tight jeans and a shirt that read, “Team Flaming Queen.” So, no on Emmett calming down. I attempted to reason with him.
“If Michael stays home instead of going, you're going to have to listen to him piss and whine all weekend.” I tell Emmett. Praying that would make Emmett want to do everything in his power to get rid of Michael. 
“So he gets rewarded for being a shit. I thought the plan was to make him grow the hell up.” Emmett tells us. 
“You’re looking at this the wrong way. We get a Michael free weekend.”  I tell him. 
“I'd rather let him sit at home, because he can’t make his own decisions.” Emmett tells us. 
“Look at it this way Justin, Emmett is the one who has to deal with him. You and I can go out of town, I think it's time to let the cargo’s go, I’ll take you clothes shopping.” Brian tells me. 
“I think I hate you, you'd leave me to deal with him? Justin looks scrumptious in those pants.” Emmett tells Brian. I stick out my tongue at Brian. 
“You're the one letting Michael stay Emmett, why are you letting this get to you?” Ted asks, looking at my ass. I jump on Brian’s lap so he doesn't kill Ted.
“Michael has never treated me like… well, like he is treating Justin. You put up with him acting like this for five years Baby, how did you do it?” Emmett asks me.
“Michael had ups and downs with me. If Brian didn’t pay attention to me, everything was great. Part of me wants to thank Brian for never defending me to Michael. It would have made him worse.” I tell everyone. Brian turns me to look at him.
“Justin, I knew you could take care of yourself. You wouldn’t have let Michael get the best of you.” Brian tells me. I kiss him, because when he’s right, he deserves a reward.
“Did you ever have to defend Justin to Michael?” Ted asks Brian. Brian stares me in the eye and answers. 
“Not really, Justin tends to ignore people if they act like assholes. He could talk circles around Michael. It’s what made it so hard for Michael to fuck with him. Michael can’t find a way to insult Justin, because Justin would just say something back that one of us would have to explain to him.” Brian tells us.
“If he asks me, I’ll try to sound like he would be an idiot to turn it down.” Emmett relents.
I get up and sit back in my chair. Brian is no longer glaring at Ted. I really need to teach Ted how to look without being so obvious.    Brian gets up and grabs two cue sticks and throws one to Emmett. I think he was tired of talking this to death. He and Emmett started a game and seem to be attracting a lot of lookers. One guy stood next to Emmett and was talking him up. 
“I don’t get why he’s so pissed about this, it’s not like Michael doesn’t do this shit all the time.” I tell Ted.
“He’s never done it to Emmett. You seem to be the only person who had to deal with him the first time around, or is it the second? It’s still confusing.” Ted tells me.
“Michael is never nasty on purpose, he’s like a five year old who doesn’t want to share when it comes to me. With you guys, the norm for him was Brian defending him, Emmett being positive and you keeping him from overreacting.” I tell him.
“None of us are doing that, so Michael doles out shitty advice?” Ted asks me.
I was about to say Michael’s advice would have been doled out anyway, but the man himself came in. I watched as he beelined to Brian. Most people would have a clue that no one wanted them around, but Michael is, as always, clueless.
“Brian, I’ve been looking all over for you.” Michael yells across the bar.
“Why?” Brian asks.
“David wanted to go away this weekend. I think we should stay here. I told him that with Mel and Lindsay having a party this weekend, it would give him an opportunity to meet everyone. He told me he could meet them later, but wanted a weekend with just us. I don’t know if I want to go, I mean I could stay here and we could finally have some time to hang out. Maybe I should just tell him I don’t think it’s working out for us.” Michael tells him.
“How could you tell that after only two dates?” Ted asks him.
“It’s just I don’t really fit in with him, he wants to wine and dine me. He keeps mentioning things like weekend getaways and trips to other countries. I’d rather hang out with you guys. Don’t even get me started on his take on my comic collection.” Michael tells us.
BRIAN
It’s like he needs me to tell him what to do, so when it doesn’t work out he has a finger to point at someone other than himself. I’ll take the pointing just so that I only have to deal with Lindsay. Justin can only take so much shit, before he rethinks going postal on Michael’s ass.
“In other words, you want Brian to tell you what to do?” Ted asks him. I stand there and wait to see where Ted is going to go with this.
“It’s just, well David wants to get serious. I mean what if we go out for a while and it doesn’t work out, then it’s like I wasted my time on a guy who isn’t the one. Brian can usually tell me if I should do something.” Michael tells us.
“What do you base your reasoning on? Justin is Brian’s first boyfriend. I would think he would tell you to go for it, like he did with Justin. ” Ted tells him.
“You can’t know you love someone you just met, it takes time to know that. Just because Brian is thinking with his dick, doesn’t mean I have to. I could be dating David and thinking he was the one, and the one could have been there all along and I missed it.” Michael tells us.
“So if ‘the one’ shows up, dump David.” Emmett rolls his eyes. 
“I just think that people are jumping into relationships and they don’t see what everyone else sees. You know, that they aren’t suited to each other.” Michael tells me. 
I look at Michael, who should never try to make a point, and wonder if he thinks that was subtle, at all. 
“Why, do you care that other people see David being a doctor, and it might make them think you're less suited to him?” I ask him. 
“I wasn’t talking... Brian at least David is settled in life. David is looking at long term, not the thrill of the moment.” Michael answers, but I could tell he didn’t expect me to use him as his example. 
“Why are you on the fence about it? It’s just a weekend in the country. He’s not proposing to you.” I tell him.
“What about Mel and Lindsay’s party? I should be there, you're all going.” Michael tells us.
“Tell David you want to come back for it. It’s on Sunday, not the whole weekend.” Ted tells him. Ted needs to shut up.
“Should I even bother? You guys don’t seem to like him. You all just stared at him this morning, not one of you even said anything. I was hoping my best friend would at least want to meet the guy who is taking up my time.” Michael tells me.
“Why do I need to talk to David?” I ask him.
“It would be nice for David to get to know you, I told him all about you.” Michael tells me.
“Michael, the point of getting to know someone is to talk about you, not Brian.” Ted tells him.
“He was talking about his marriage and son. I told him about Brian and I growing up.” Michael tells us.
“What about your mom and Vic?” Ted asks him.
“He already met my mom.” Michael tells us.
“Well now that he’s met Brian, so you can stop talking about him.” Emmett puts in.
“I think I’m going to tell him it’s too soon.” Michael tells us. 
I see Justin lay his head on the table. I want to bang mine on the table. How the fuck did Michael even manage to get married. Oh yeah, I told him to. I even threw the wedding. Justin looks up and smiles, I hope he has a way to get Michael to go.
“I hope you have fun in town this weekend.” Justin tells Michael.
“We’ll just go out, like always. You could invite your little girlfriend over to play.” Michael tells him. Michael pointed at me and him, so Justin understood Michael wasn’t inviting him.
“Brian wanted to try another weekend together, out of town. So it will just be you.” Justin tells him. 
“You're taking him somewhere again? We could have planned a weekend with the guys and me and David. Why didn’t you at least tell me before you made plans.” Michael tells me. 
I love that he keeps trying to make a point of Justin not being invited. I think it's time for me to explain it.
“Most likely because the plans were for my boyfriend, Michael. It has nothing to do with you. I would think that you're old enough to make a decision without us. If you need advice go to your mother, she would love to tell you how to run your life.” I tell him.
“I just wanted to get your opinion on it. You know I need you to help me. It’s a big thing, going away together. I could end up with David and then we wouldn’t see each other as much.” Michael tells me.
“Yes, going away together is a big thing, as you put it. Justin and I used it to define our relationship, without anyone helping. Do you see me running to you when I want to do something with Justin?” I ask a scowling Michael.
“I doubt you need any advice on whether to put Justin on his knees or back.” Michael foot in mouth Novotny strikes again. Fuck trying to be nice about it. 
“Well you would know, bottom boy.” Emmett snaps at him. Stopping me from doing it.
“Like Justin knows anything that Brian didn’t teach him.” Michael snaps back. Can you say cat fight?
Before Emmett has a chance to bring out the claws, Justin gets up from the table and walks in front of Michael and over to me. I love that I’m going to get outed to freak out Michael, but I won’t deny that Justin gets privileges, when he wants them. 
“You know what my favorite position is Michael?” He looks at Michael.
“Ass in the air. Like a good little twink.” Michael smirks at him.
“That one is good too, but I love when Brian lays back and spreads his legs so I can rim him loose, I usually have to work on his ass for a while, he’s really tight because he doesn’t bottom for anyone but me. By the time he’s open enough I’m so hard that I have to be careful when I stick my dick in. It drives Brian crazy when I slowly push through and then I make sure to pull all the way out, angling it so that I can rub those lovely nerve endings that have him cumming like a fountain. I usually like to lick his nipples to get all of Brian hard while I fuck him. I love the fact that right after he cums he can turn me over and fuck me through his orgasm and eventually mine too. It makes for a long night, but shit, I’m still young enough to keep going.” Justin reaches up and kisses me.
When I look up I see Michael standing there in shock, waiting for me to deny it. “Maybe we should try that again tonight.” I tell Justin, smiling at Michael who is standing there at a loss for words. 
“I can be late for school tomorrow, why not.” Justin tells me.
“Brian, there is no way you… you always top… He’s making that up right?...I have to go.” Michael can’t seem to believe it.
We watch Michael run out of the bar, I turn to Emmett and Ted. The shits get on their knees and start bowing to Justin.
“Emmett and I are going to start the Cult of Justin. He must truly be the one who will lead bottoms everywhere to the top.” Ted the smart ass says. They both get up and start laughing.
“Baby, you can really tell a story.” Emmett tells Justin.
“He also just described most of our nights.” I tell them. 
“Wait, you mean… Justin really?” Emmett stares at him.

TED

 

In the end, all we needed to do to get rid of Michael was let the gay grapevine talk at the diner, and have a mother who isn’t willing to let ‘baby Mikey’ get away with shit, hear it. Poor Michael got his head torn off for telling Justin he was only good on his knees. Understand that the gay grapevine is like the game ‘Secrets’. You tell one gay man the reason your fingernail is purple is because you hit it with a hammer hanging a picture. He tells the next three a variation of that story, adding a little flare because your story sucked. By morning and the fifty or so times it was retold, it comes out as you have been secretly crossdressing and plan on making a debut at a club, dressed as Cher. A guy from Woody’s told Emmett and I that after finding out that Justin was not only being fucked by Kinney repeatedly, but was also fucking Kinney, his buddies and him whispered a new story around in hopes to join Justin’s cult. Emmett and I got front row seats to Michael being treated to a ‘Brian special’ from Deb, without knowing the gossip. Deb didn't even let him in the door of the diner before she started in on him.

 

“Normally, I would think what I heard is something Brian said, but now I'm left thinking you're really the one I should have blamed all those times instead of your best friend for starting shit with people. I'm ashamed of you, how could you say such a nasty thing to my Sunshine? That kid has been nothing but nice to you.” Deb yells at Michael. 

 

“I didn't say anything to the kid.” Michael still clueless to the gossip.

 

“So you didn't say Justin belongs on his knees?” Deb was practically spitting fire at Michael.

 

“I didn’t say it like that.” Michael tells her. 

 

“How many ways are there to say something like that MICHAEL?” Deb asks him.  

 

“Brian said he and Justin were defining their relationship, which is a joke. I said something about the only thing Brian needed to define was whether he wanted Justin on his knees or back.” Michael defends himself.

 

“How is that any better? Do you think treating my Sunshine like a whore is okay? ” Deb asks him. 

 

“It wasn’t like that Ma, someone misunderstood what I was saying.” He tells her. 

 

“I don’t think they did. You just admitted to saying it. Are you now going to somehow try to make it out to be Brian fault?” Deb tells him. 

 

“I was just trying to tell Brian about David wanting me to go out of town for the weekend.” Michael tells her.

 

“Why do you think Brian cares about what David wants to do?” Deb asks him.

 

“I just wanted to know if I should do it.” Michael tells her.

 

“Oh, so you wanted Brian to tell you what to do. Why are you asking Brian? He isn’t the one fucking David, you are, so if you want to go, you go. It still doesn’t explain the way you talked to Sunshine. He deserves an apology for the way you talked to him. You better find a way to do it, because if I find out that you tried to worm your way out of it, you’ll deal with me.” She tells him.

 

“I didn’t even say anything to him.” Michael tells her.

 

“What did you do, broadcast it to everyone at Woody’s? Are you trying to upset that sweet kid? It’s not going to change the fact that Brian is in love with Sunshine. You are dating a doctor and you still can’t let go of Brian. Michael, Brian loves that kid, you're never going to be the one for him. Don’t run around trying to ruin this for Brian.” She tells him.

 

“Brian doesn’t do …” Michael can’t even finish before Deb takes over.

 

“Obviously he does, Michael. He is living with Sunshine. They spend all their time together. Brian has already met his mother. Do they need to get a ring and have a ceremony, before you stop acting like a jealous ex?” Deb tells him.

 

“I don’t care what bullshit Justin is spreading around, Brian will not commit to him.” Michael tells her.

 

“Maybe you need to tell that to Brian, since he’s the one who told me, not Sunshine. It came out of your best friend’s mouth, and since we know, if nothing else, Brian is honest, it’s time for you to believe it. Go with David and stop running after Brian.” Deb tells him.

 

“If that’s what you think, I’m going to go eat somewhere else. I don’t want to sit here and be lectured to by my mother. You should have at least asked me what was said before you started yelling at me.” Michael pouts.

 

Michael waited for his mother to feel bad for him. Deb started going through her pockets and came out with a ten dollar bill.

 

“Here, so you can pay for it. Wait here’s five, for the tip. Don’t stiff the waitress just because you don’t pay for anything here.” Deb tells him.

 

Michael looks at the money and I think it dawned on him that his mother was practically shoving him out the door. Emmett and I held back the laughter until Michael tried to slam out the door. Unfortunately for Michael, the door doesn’t slam, so he when he tried to yank it, he lost his grip and ended up in a puddle of muddy water.

 

After Michael had left, Justin and Brian came in to pick up Justin’s to-go order. I guess they stayed up extra late again, lucky bastards. Deb walked over to Justin and smothered him in a hug. Brian sat with us, wanting to know what that was about. Emmett told Brian about Justin replacing Michael in Deb’s eyes.

 

Justin finally got away from Deb and ran to get the keys to the Jeep to get to school. Brian was putting in his notice tomorrow morning, he told Ryder he was scouting today and wouldn’t be in. Brian told me to wait until we hear from the bank before I do the same.  Brian and I were going to the bank to start working on loans for his new firm. I talked to a friend of mine at the bank and he told me that all Brian needed was a client list and the bank would be more than willing to help him. Brian told me we were going to start scouting locations after going to the bank, he had started the list the minute he came back to now. Emmett was off so he wanted to go see the places with us. Emmett told Justin to skip school and come. Justin told Emmett that looking at empty buildings were not his idea of fun. 

 

We were walking out of the diner and Brian told me to give him a minute. We stood outside and listened as Brian called Justin’s mother.

 

“Hey Jen, it’s Brian. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me and my friends to look for an office building?” He asks her.

 

“It’s just I think that you would know what to look for, Justin told me you go to a lot of business dinners with Craig. I thought you could help me decide if the buildings we look at are up to par with what you’ve seen. Great, we're going to the bank, so if you want to meet us at Liberty Trust in an hour, we can go from there.” Brian smiles and thanks her. 

 

“Hanging with the in-laws Brian?” Emmett asks him.

 

“Jen becomes a kickass real estate agent, she is the one that found my first Kinnetik.” Brian tells us. We get in the car and Brian seems like he is looking forward to spending time with Jen.

 

“You like Justin’s mom?” Emmett asks.

 

“I love that woman. She turned out to be one of the best mothers I’ve ever met.” Brian tells him.

 

“It’s just she seems to be having a hard time with this.” I tell him.

 

“She loves Justin, it’s just right now she is trying to save a twenty year marriage and keep her family together. Craig isn’t going to win, because he treats his marriage the way he treated Justin. Jen wouldn’t stand behind Craig when he threw Justin out. Craig saw it as her not towing the line in the marriage. So just like he did to Justin, he told Jen she could either straighten out her thinking or he wouldn’t stayed married to her. Jen walked away, she didn’t even try to take Craig to the cleaners. I respect her for standing on her own two feet. She accepted me into her life, warts and all. If I can help her get out from under Craig, I will.” Brian tells us.

 

“Maybe that’s where Justin gets it from.” I tell him.

 

We get to the bank and meet with my guy, who tells us, if everything checks out with the list of clients Brian brought us, we would most likely be approved tonight. 

 

“Good thing I talked to all the clients, they were on board last month.” Brian tells me.

 

“You were planning this from the beginning?” I ask him.

 

“Ted, I put Vanguard out of business. By the time I died, Kinnetik was global, so this time I know what not to do.” He tells me.

 

“I was with you for all this?” I still have a hard time seeing Brian and I in business together.

 

“You became a partner and worked with Gus when I retired. I would have lost everything if you hadn’t been there to hold me up. I need that Ted with me now, or we are going to fail at this.” He tells me.

 

“Brian Kinney doesn’t fail. I guess it’s time for me to do what you said and not listen to the voice in my head.” I tell him.

 

I suddenly want to be the person he describes to me. I can feel my spine straightening and I hold my head up. I see a good looking guy walk by and give him the Kinney smirk or at least what I hope looks like it. The guy smile back at me and I realize it’s about confidence, not looks. Brian and I wait in the lobby with Emmett for Jen. We see her walking in and as we start towards her I feel someone put something in my hand. I turn to see the guy I was smiling at.

 

“Call me.” He whispers in my ear.

 

BRIAN

 

I wanted to get Jen to look with me, the baths are still open, but I think it’s time for a new look. I just feel like, without her helping, I’ll end up in some place that I hate. Ted needs to be in the right head space or I’ll end up having to manage Ted too. I like Blake but he isn’t going to be ready for Ted right now. Ted and I are going to be busting our asses to get this company off the ground and I don’t need Ted dealing with all Blake's problems. I see Jen and we go out to meet her. 

 

“Brian, I’m not sure what help I can be, but I’ll try.” Jen tells me.

 

“I just need you to look at the buildings and tell me what you think.” I tell her.

 

“Do you want me to follow you?” She asks me.

 

“We could ride together, I’m Emmett. I just want you to know we love Justin. Not the way Brian does, but like a brother.” Emmett explains to her.

 

“How is he? Brian you need to tell him to call me, just so I know he doesn’t need anything.” Jen tells me.

 

“I’ll get him to call, but I promise, if he needs something I’ll make sure he has it.” I tell her.

 

“Brian, Craig and I should be helping out.” Jen tells me.

 

“Jen, I’m just trying to make this easier on you and Molly. Ted can tell you, I can afford to feed your son, and I pray get him out of those pants.” I tell her.

 

I had this idea, when I was still waiting for Justin to come. I want Emmett to start his business sooner. I had been trying to find a way to incorporate Emmett’s business into Kinnetik. During the time I ran Kinnetik, I used Emmett for everything from business lunches to launch parties, but with Emmett’s business taking off, it became harder to for us to be able to find an opening in his schedule. I don’t want to depend on subpar businesses to do events, when Emmett was a master at it. It’s the reason I brought Emmett with me, I need to get him to consider working with us.

 

We spent the next three hours looking around and I just didn’t feel it. Jen wrote off most of them because she told me that if I want to make an impression, four walls and a carpet weren’t going to do it. We went to get some lunch at a deli in the area and Jen started calling her friend who helped her get in the real estate business. I don’t hate Barbara, but I never could get her to understand that I was gay. Barbara told Jen to bring us to building she had on her books. 

 

As soon as we pulled up, I knew this was the one. Barbara handed Jen the keys and told her to drop them off. I was thrilled not to have to hang out with the divorcee. The building was two stories and at one time going to be large restaurant. The owner got in trouble for tax evasion. We toured the kitchen and the dining room, I watch Emmett’s eyes light up. The top floor was walled in with glass so it was like a separate building. I could put the art department to the right with the floor to ceiling windows, it gives them the light they need to create. If we partitioned off the left side, I could have a conference room and office attached to each other. 

 

“You could replace the glass with frosted glass and that would make it more private.” Jen tells me.

 

“We could turn the downstairs into offices, reception could be right as you walk in. It’s a large building, for a restaurant.” Ted tells me.

 

“The owner, Cal, wanted to turn it into the premiere dining spot. His family owned the building and gave it to him. It started out as a large warehouse. Cal is a friend of Craig’s. Cal wanted the restaurant to have private areas for business to have meeting in so instead of making the dining room one big room he wanted to make separate areas for the businesses. Looking at the top floor, you can see it’s as large as the overall restaurant. All the renovations were done just last year, but it never opened because he was caught for tax evasion and they seized this as an asset. No one needs a restaurant this size, in this economy.” Jen tells us. 

 

“What would we do with the kitchen?” Ted asks me.

 

“Section it off, offer it to someone who wants to start a party planning business. If we renovate this right, the side that leads to the kitchen could be a separate business that pays rent to us.” I suggest, hoping to clue Emmett in.

 

“You want to buy it?” Jen asks me.

 

“I want to lease with the option to buy it if everything goes to plan.” I tell her.

 

“Let me talk to Barbara, she told me they want to off load this building.” Jen tells me. 

 

“Give her Ted’s number, he’s the one who know’s what budget we are looking at.” I tell her.

 

I leave him and Jen to talk, and drag Emmett with me. He didn’t figure out why I wanted the kitchen. 

 

“Emmett, do you want to know what you did in the future?” I ask him.

 

“No.” That was all, no long winded speech, just no.

 

“Why not?” I ask him.

 

“I don’t want to hear that all I was, was a househusband to a football player.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Emmett you were a party planner, you started out with Vic as your partner. You become the guy to go to for parties and event planning. If you're willing to sign on with me, I’ll be a silent partner, when you can buy me out, you’ll own it. The only condition I have is that you’re going to have to make my events priority.” I tell him.

 

“I don’t know how to run a business.” He tells me.

 

“Ted and I will be here to help you.” I tell him.

 

“What if Vic doesn’t want to do this?” Emmett asks me.

 

“Vic wants to do something, he’s bored out of his mind and about to lose his benefits. You would be giving him an opportunity to do what he loves to do.” I tell him.

 

“You’ll help me talk to Vic?” Emmett tells me.

 

I got him. It was the look in his eyes, Emmett could see the possibilities. It’s how I know when I’m going to win an account.

 

 

 

 

JUSTIN

 

I guess Michael left early on Friday morning to go with David. Emmett said that Michael packed his bags right after Deb reamed his ass. He left a note on Emmett’s bedroom door, saying that he was going to stay with David until Emmett and his mother calmed down. It went on to say that he wasn’t insulting Emmett or Ted, it’s just that they were taking his words the wrong way. Brian told them to just be happy we don’t have to listen to him for two days.

 

Mom called and told me after helping Brian with his search for a building, she wanted to get her real estate license. I teased Brian that he was crushing on my mom. Brian told me that my mom and he were always close with each other. It just took her finally seeing that we loved each other for her to get over our age difference. I asked him when that was, because it was like one day they started hanging out together. Brian told me it was when we attended Vic’s funeral, he knew their relationship changed because she called him to make sure he was going with us. Brian reminded me that up until that point she never called him directly, she always called me. 

 

Brian dropped me off at school, and was on his way to tell Ryder he was done, thank God he never signed a noncompetition clause. He told me at the time Ryder didn't think he needed one.

 

School was just as shitty as I remember, I just stopped trying to make a point that they shouldn’t hold me being gay against me. I only have a couple of months left and this place would be ancient history for me. When Daphne and I started the gay straight alliance, I realized Brian was right, we were just something the Senator was using for a news bite. The school was able to shut the club down because no one wanted to take over for us after we graduated. I wanted to make a difference, but St James took years before they were forced to allow another club. If I had been a junior, Daphne and I would have had time to really make a difference, now I can see we were idealist. I want to help people, but the world isn’t ready yet. Brian told me to wait for college and work through the system this time, not against it. 

 

The other thing that I’m trying to figure out is, why is Chris everywhere I go? He never bothered me until after I gave him a hand job. I decided not to do that one again, because the idea of touching that asshole made my skin crawl. 

 

Daphne and I were sitting on the wall talking to each other when a football smacks me in the chest, and who is standing there, Chris. I drop the ball in Daphne’s lap, she can throw it back to the asshole. She smacks him in the head with it. I suggest going to the Library because it’s starting to creep me out, Chris being everywhere I am. Daphne and I were sitting in the library gossiping and I look up and fucking Chris is sitting at the next table. I ask Daphne why he seems to be everywhere we are. Daphne tells me Chris has been doing it all year and I never paid attention.

 

“How could I miss someone his size running around me all the time?” I whisper to her.

 

“He is normally just around, he’s never been this obvious before.” Daphne whispers back.

 

“What does he do?” I ask her.

 

“Nothing, he just seems to watch you.” She tells me.

 

I should've noticed, I had a crush on the asshole. I don’t like the fact that he is deviating from the past I know. I stop acting like I don’t see him and look straight at him. Chris sits there for a second and then he gets up and leaves the library. What the hell is going on? This better not be another jackass who was sent back to right something.

 

I walk out of school and motherfucker, he’s standing next to my locker. I’m not running away, if he wants to fuck with me, he does it to my face, not behind my back.

 

“Hey, you’re the faggot right?” Chris asks, loud enough for everyone to hear. He smirks at me.

 

“Yes, I am.” I tell him. Smiling right back.

 

I hear snickers in the hall and Chris stands there not sure what to say, I guess he expected me to deny it. I wait to see if he's going to say anything else, but he slams his fist in my locker and walks off. Daphne glares at the gawkers.

 

“Is there some reason you want to look at Justin?” She asks them.

 

I guess with nothing for them to see everyone starts to walk off. I walk to my locker to put my stuff away. I hear someone clear their throat. Turning, I see a kid from the junior class standing there. I wait for whatever insult the guy wants to hurl at me. When he continues to stand there and not say anything, I decide to find out what he wants.

 

“Can I help you?” I ask him. 

 

“How did you know?” He asks me. 

 

“That I was gay?” I ask him. He nods his head. 

 

“I was never really interested in girls. It's not rocket science, if you look at a guy and you're interested, you’re gay. If you look at a girl and don’t start trying to undress her in your head, you're most likely gay.” I tell him. I don’t get how you don’t know.

 

“What if you're not sure?” He asks me. 

 

“Are you interested in someone?” I ask him. 

 

“I think so, but I think he's dating someone.” He tells me. 

 

“Ask him, the worst that can happen is they say no.” I tell him. 

 

“I don’t know if I have the nerve to ask him. I mean I’ve never met him, just seen him around here. How did you ask someone?” He asks me. 

 

“I didn’t, I met the guy I’m with by going out to Liberty Avenue. We saw each other and spent the night together. I’ve been with him ever since.” I tell him. 

 

“Is it the guy who drops you off every morning?” He asks me.

 

“Yes.” I tell him.

 

“You and him are serious?” God I hope he isn’t interested in me.

 

“Very, I live with him.” I tell the guy.

 

“He’s really hot, I was hoping you and him were just friends.” He tells me.

 

“Brian is Justin’s boyfriend.” Daphne tells him.

 

“I guess there’s no point in asking him out then.” He tells me. 

 

“You could, but he’d just blow you off.” I can’t wait to tell Brian he’s every gay teen’s fantasy.

 

“I’m Mark, maybe I could talk to you once in awhile. My sister told me that I needed to be sure about this, because my parents will blow a gasket.” Mark tells me.

 

“I’m Justin, just make sure, your sister is right. Don’t tell them unless you’re sure.” I tell him.

 

“I’m actually really sure, it just felt like I was the only one, well until you just outed yourself.” He tells me.

 

“It’s not like I can hide it. I come here every morning with Brian and he picks me up. I arrived here with him and made out with him at the bottom of the steps at school. So if someone hasn’t figured it out, they aren’t paying attention. If you need someone to talk to, call me, but I can’t tell you anything that is going to make this easier. I will tell you I was lucky, the guy I’m with wanted to be more than a one night stand, most people don’t get as lucky.” I tell him.

 

“We go to Liberty Diner, if you want I can take you there. It’s probably the gayest place, other than the club Justin goes to, that I can take you.” Daphne, faghag to all us gay boys tell him.

 

Mark tells her he’ll think about it. I guess I wasn’t the only one, at the time it felt like it. It’s strange to know that others were here with me and we never met. Hopefully, I can help him not become a statistic.

 

I run out of the school and head for Brian’s Jeep. Chris is standing there staring at Brian. Brian stares back at him. I get in the car and look to see Chris glaring at Brian.

 

“Was he always around and we didn’t see him?” Brian asks me.

 

“According to Daphne, he has been. I wasn’t paying attention to him last time. I never knew if it was the hand job, me taunting him, or just that Chris is a sociopath.” I tell Brian,

 

“I don’t like the way he’s watching you.” Brian tells me.

 

“He was looking at you.” I tell him.

 

“Until you came outside, he was staring at you.” Brian tells me.

 

“Maybe Marilyn knows what’s up with him.” I tell Brian.

 

BRIAN

 

I watch the shithead looking at Justin, I never met Chris till that night outside Woody’s. Here’s a question, why was he walking around the gay district that night? It never made sense that he was there, unless it was to ramp him up to attack Justin. That better not be why he was there. 

 

“Guess what?” Justin tells me.

 

“What, twat?” I ask him.

 

“A junior wanted to ask you out.” Justin teases me.

 

“That’s so high school, wait, you are in high school again. Sucks to be you.” I tell him.

 

“Well, after Chris asked if I was a faggot in the hall and I told him yes, this kid Mark starts asking how I knew I was gay. Then tells me he is crushing on my steady.” Justin tells me.

 

“What is it with you kids? Do I look like a guy who runs after teenagers?” I should have shut my mouth.

 

“I don’t know, how old am I?” The twat smirks.

 

“Let’s see, you’re sixty one, so apparently I’m into old men.” I tell him.

 

“If you look at it that way, I guess I’m into dead men, so there.” He smirks.

 

“Back up, Chris confronted you?” I ask him.

 

“After being everywhere I was today. It was like he was daring me to tell him I wasn’t gay.” He tells me.

 

“What did he do?” I don’t like this at all.

 

“Slammed his fist on my locker and left. It was tame, for him.” He tells me.

 

“He’s not jumping you in the locker room or fucking with you like the last time?” I ask him.

 

“It will probably start now, I gave him that hand job right after meeting you. He didn’t get in trouble this time so no cleaning out the supply closet in the gym. I also won’t touch that asshole.” Justin tells me.

 

I was silent the rest of the way. We changed things, so now Chris isn’t scared of Justin outing him. Does that make him less likely to go after Justin? Marilyn better be able to tell us what is going on.

 

I pull up to the loft and see her standing there waiting for us. Vic and Emmett are talking to her. I guess we’ll have to wait to talk about it.

 

“Brian, Emmett told me you and he wanted to talk to me.” Vic tells me.

 

“Why don’t you and Vic go upstairs, we’ll be there in a minute.” I tell Emmett.

 

Emmett and Vic go in and we wait until I hear the elevator.

 

“He wasn’t sent back.” Marilyn tells Justin.

 

“Then what the hell is he doing?” Justin asks her.

 

“Justin, a straight guy isn’t going to let another guy jerk him off, unless he’s confused. Chris blames you for making him think he could be gay. It’s what leads to the bashing, you were out and proud. He confused the fact that he came in your hand with you trying to make him gay. It ate at him that you were living without a care in the world while he was doubting himself.” She tells Justin.

 

“I get bashed because the asshole couldn’t figure out who he was?” Justin snaps.

 

“Yes, it’s not logical Justin. Nothing you do will change him, and nothing you did caused what happened. A guy like him is going to hurt someone, because he gets off on it.” I tell him.

 

“I agree with Brian. He is still coming to the garage that night, but the future keeps splintering. One shows him trying to get you, in that one, Emmett manages to stop him before he can do anything. Another one has him sitting in his car, he watches you leave, but after that it’s hazy. It’s like he was undecided about what to do. I’m worried about that one because you and Brian continue on just fine. Everyone ends up fine along with you. The question I have is what happens when he makes up his mind.” She tells Justin.

 

“But in both Justin is fine?” I have to know.

 

“You both leave with Daphne, and like I said, nothing else happens to you.” She tells us.

 

“Well then, go play savior to someone else, we apparently are fine.” I tell her.

 

Marilyn tells us if she figures out why it’s constantly changing for Chris she’ll let us know. We have a while before that shit comes down on us. 

 

Justin and I go up to the loft to meet with Vic and Emmett. Justin tells me to try to boost Vic’s confidence in his cooking. I forgot that Vic hadn’t done anything for years and was letting Deb cook. Emmett told me that he would talk to Vic before they came over so we could just talk about how they could start their business. I walk to the chair by the sofa and grab Justin to sit with me.

 

“Long time no see. I felt like you were avoiding me.” Vic tells me.

 

“I wanted time with Justin, I avoided everyone.” I tell Vic.

 

“Good, I felt like I was losing a son when you disappeared.” Vic tells me. I felt like I’d lost my father when I thought he betrayed me, but he doesn’t know that. I can’t say it to him.

 

“Vic doesn’t think he can be any help.” Emmett tells us.

 

“I haven’t cooked anything other than small things in years. I don’t know if I can still do it.” Vic tells us.

 

“Vic, you don’t forget that skill.” Emmett tells him.

 

“My hands are no longer steady, and you have to understand, I made things from scratch. I don’t have recipes for them. I just knew to add a little of this and a little of that. I can’t even remember how I did it anymore.” Vic tells us.

 

“Vic, you look good for a dead guy.” Justin tells him.

 

“Justin, what the hell?” Emmett asks.

 

“I’m just saying, he should just buy a coffin and let us have his funeral. He seems to think that the only thing left for him is to die.” Shit, what is Justin doing?

 

“I’m not waiting to die.” Vic snaps at him.

 

“Yes you are. Instead of taking this opportunity to do something with your life, you’re making excuses for being scared to try.” Justin tells him.

 

“It’s easy for you to say. Your young and healthy.” Vic tells him.

 

“What I am is an artist, just like you. I know that even if I had to paint with my mouth, I’d do it. I’d do it Vic, because it’s something inside me that is screaming to get out. I need to see how what is in my head translates on a canvas. I need to be able to point to it and tell myself that I was right, that in my small way I added beauty to the world. Cooking is your canvas, if you can’t cook, how are you controlling your muse screaming at you?” Justin asks him.

 

“You know Brian, you’re going to have to get a hold of Justin, he goes for the jugular.” Vic tells me.

 

“I just don’t see the point in taking all those pills if you’ve already stopped living.” Justin tells him with a shrug.

 

“Emmett, I think you and I need to go home. I have some recipes to start writing down.” Vic gets up and heads to the door. Emmett hangs back to talk to Justin and I.

 

“The whole way here he was walking like a ninety year old man, telling me that he couldn’t do it. I gave him my whole speech about how he has so much to give and Justin just tells him to go and die and now he needs to write down his recipes. How does that work?” Emmett asks us.

 

“He did this when Mel and Lindsay were going to have a wedding. Deb told him exactly that when he was complaining he couldn’t make the cake and dropping things all over the place. I just tried to be nicer than telling him to fucking go ahead and die already. Apparently it’s how she gets him to fight for things.” Justin tells us.

 

 

BRIAN    

 

I dropped Justin off at the school for his SAT’s. He was practically bouncing in his seat. I’ll never get how scoring higher on a test is more exciting to him than a new outfit. I guess it’s my lot in life to love and live with a man who thinks clothes are just another paint rag. I headed to the diner to meet with Ted, he was nervous about walking away from a job he’d had since college. 

 

For the first time in years, Deb wasn’t at the counter. Emmett told me that Vic was cooking up a storm last night and Deb was worried about him overdoing it. Deb has to have something to worry about. I grabbed a paper and ordered my usual. Ted called to tell me he was on his way, I figured I could just enjoy the silence while I wait. When someone slides into the booth, I look up expecting Ted, but I got Lindsay instead.

 

“We need to talk.” She tells me.

 

I look around like Justin did, behind her and around me. She starts looking to see what I was looking at.

 

“What are you looking for?” She asks me.

 

“Gus, because that is the only thing you have that I ever want to hear or see.” I tell her and start reading again.

 

“Brian, you can’t just ignore me for the rest of our lives.” She tells me.

 

“Of course I can, just watch me.” I tell her.

 

“I was trying to help Justin, what happened wasn’t my fault.” She tells me.

 

“Between you and Michael, you need to get that tattooed on your heads. Get this through your head, it was your fault, and acting like it wasn’t doesn't change anything you did. I’m all out of sympathy for ‘poor Lindsay’, who was so jealous of Justin that she spent her life trying to erase him. Look at what happened before I died, Gus and Alex kept you away from Sunny. Gus didn’t want you poisoning his child the way you tried to do to him. The fact that in both lives you still managed to fuck up should have made you realize it’s not going to matter what you do, your life isn’t going to change. In order for change to happen, you can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results. I have a child that I haven’t met, because since you couldn’t find a way to make your life better, you took mine. You took Justin and Kira out of my life, and didn’t give a shit that you did it. It’s all ‘it was a mistake’ or ‘I didn’t mean it’, as the excuse doesn’t make it all better. So listen to me, I mean it when I say you're no longer welcome in my life, Mel can talk to me if it’s about Gus.” I tell her.

 

“You think you know all the answers, I didn’t do this alone. Your surrogate mother and father were involved in it too. I don’t see you holding it against them.” She tells me.

 

“Unlike you, they haven’t done anything yet. I don’t see taking something they do later out on them now. What I don’t get is why you couldn’t let me live my life. I let you take Gus away, I supported him and you, and I never once asked for anything but to see my son. I guess that you thought that if Justin was gone, I’d suddenly ‘See The Light’ and want you.” I tell her.

 

“I love you, Brian. I was your closest friend. You were changing into someone I didn’t recognize.” She tells me.

 

“You want to know what I was able to see when I came back? I saw the real you. The woman who claimed to be a lesbian but the first chance you got you leaped into bed with me. A woman who claims to love people, but uses that love like a weapon to keep us in line. Mel had to play the jealous wife and I was the person she needed to fear, because one indication I wanted you to leave her, you made her think you would. I sat up and thought about the people who tell me they love me and do you know what I came up with? None of you really did, because instead of wanting me to change for the better, you were trying to keep me the drugged out, drunk club boy, who would overlook that you're a manipulative bitch. If you cared about me you would have done what you told Deb you wanted to do, make up to our son for being a shitty mother. Instead you ran around trying to change the past, because you didn’t get to have the career Justin had. You don’t have the talent in your whole body that he has in his pinky finger. There is nothing that keeping me to yourself would do to change your lack of talent. If somewhere in the fucked up logic you are using to justify your actions, you were thinking I was ever going to want more than the friendship, you need fucking help. I want you to listen to me and take my words as if they came from God himself. I’m a GAY MAN in love with another GAY MAN, nowhere in that scenario does it include a confused lesbian with mommy issues. If you need a dick that bad, go find Sam, he fell for your shit more than once. Now, unless Gus needs something, don’t come find me or Justin, we don’t fucking care. After tomorrow, I’m going to get on with living my life without your help, you tend to kill people. Do yourself a favor and let Mel contact me, because putting you on the plane in Justin’s place is starting to sound better and better.” I tell her.

 

“Did I come at a bad time?” Ted looks at us.

 

“No perfect, Lindsay is going home to take care of the son she wanted so badly.” I tell her.

 

“You're right, I have so many things to get ready for the party. Mel and I are so excited to celebrate a milestone with Justin. Are you bringing Blake with you?” She transforms into a caring woman, for Ted. Unfortunately for her, Ted knows about her.

 

“I took Blake to rehab, he needs to get his life on track if we are ever going to make a go at it. Emmett and I will be there tomorrow for Mel and Justin.” Ted tells her.

 

“Ted, I hope you would be there for me too.” Lindsay stands there like she is waiting for us to say something. When she realizes that we aren’t, she smiles her fake smile at Ted and turns to  walk out the diner door. I alway thought I would be unhappy losing her in my life, but she couldn’t accept me for who I am, Justin’s lover and partner. It makes me understand why Justin isn’t upset anymore about Craig, he knows that Craig can’t accept him for who he is, so he stopped caring.

 

DAVID

 

I spent the first day at the country house having to listen to Michael ranting and upset that Brian let Justin top, why he seems to think it’s his business is beyond me. I had hoped a walk in the woods would get Michael to concentrate on why we came here, to spend time together. Instead it was a long litany of Brian and Justin.

 

“I can’t believe the kid was telling everyone he topped Brian.” Michael tells me.

 

“Is there some reason you care what they do, or are upset about it? Can we talk about something else?” I ask him.

 

“Brian is the ultimate top, he isn’t going to let a kid top him. I told the kid that Brian isn’t going to change for him. Instead of leaving Brian alone, he’s now living with him.” He tells me.

 

“Michael, why are you involving yourself in someone else’s relationship? I thought this was a weekend about us?” I ask him. He just continues on as if I didn’t say anything.

 

“Brian’s isn't in a relationship. I don't care what anyone thinks, I know my best friend. Even if he is saying this kid is the one, like Ma claims. There is no way my best friend would change who he is. Look at his life, he can have anyone, and everyone wants him. Why would he want to settle down with the twink.  I just don’t understand why he thinks Justin is the one. Brian and I will alway be best friends, no one is supposed to come between us. Justin just needs to see that he isn’t going to get what he wants from Brian. It’s just lately, Brian isn’t being Brian. We go from always being with each other, to him acting like I'm bothering him all the time. He even changed the code and key to his loft, now I have to knock to enter his loft. I think fourteen years of friendship should overrule anyone else in our lives. I’m not going to stand back and watch Brian replace me with Justin…” Michael keeps talking and walks off.

 

I stood and watched him walk away, because he didn’t even realize he said that Brian’s boyfriend, was taking his place. If Brian is Michael’s best friend, then Justin being Brian’s boyfriend isn’t taking Michael’s place. I look to see he’s disappeared down the path we were walking. I don’t think he even noticed I wasn’t there anymore. I was trying to wrap my head around him comparing being friends with Brian, to Justin’s role in Brian’s life. If I am hearing him correctly, Brian will come before anyone in Michael’s life. I really wanted to see where Michael and I could lead, but I’m not going to be a placeholder for Brian Kinney. Although Michael doesn’t seem to realize that Brian isn’t using Justin as a placeholder for Michael. I don’t think Michael and I are going to work out, unless he changes the way he thinks. My first clue should have been Michael constantly trying to include Brian on our dates. I would like to have a conversation that isn’t about Brian, just once, but dating Michael guarantees I'll hear ‘Brian’ every other sentence.  

 

I waited to see if he ever figured out I wasn’t with him. Ten minutes went by before I hear Michael screaming. I run toward the screaming, but as I get closer I don’t hear him anymore. I keep looking for him, and get to the end of the pathway. I wanted to show Michael the small waterfall and pool at the bottom of the drop off. I had all these plans to make love to him in the forest and then come here and go skinny dipping. Instead it was Michael pouting about everyone taking Justin's side in some conversation at Woody’s. I look around the path, but don’t see him anywhere.

 

“Michael, yell if you can hear me.” I yell out. I hear a faint David underneath me. I look down to see Michael in the pool at the bottom. I wonder if he was so busy ranting he didn’t see the path ended. At least it was only a ten foot drop.

 

“Are you okay?” I yell at him.

 

“Where the hell did you go? I could have been killed.” Michael yells at  me.

 

“Michael it’s a ten foot drop, and the pool isn’t even very deep, you wouldn’t have been killed. Why didn’t you look where you were going?” I ask him.

 

“I ran into a bush and a bunch of bees started swarming around me. I was trying to get away from them, when I fell over that cliff. WHICH WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU STAYED WITH ME.” He screams at me.

 

“Just get out the water Michael. I’ll be there in a minute.” I tell him as I walk down to the water.

 

“I think I got bit by the fucking bees, it hurts to come out of the water.” He screeches.

 

“You can’t stay in there, just get out so we can treat the stings.” I almost want to let him stay there. 

 

“FINE, I'LL GET OUT. I SHOULD HAVE NEVER COME. THIS WHOLE IDEA IS STUPID. THERE IS NOTHING TO DO BUT STARE AT TREES. WE COULD HAVE GONE OUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND HAD A GOOD TIME, BUT NO, I GET STUCK OUT HERE AND ALMOST GET KILLED FALLING OFF THAT CLIFF.” Michael screams.

 

“Would you shut the hell up, I mean it. One more word and I'm going to leave you here.” Did I really think Michael was a good prospect?

 

I get to the water and see Michael sitting on a bunch of vines, pouting. It’s like seeing Hank at five years old and upset. He has his arms crossed and his lips screwed up in a pout. I watch as he flops down and starts rubbing his body on the pile of vines he was sitting on.

 

“It itches everywhere, I think one bit my ass.” He tells me.

 

“Michael stop rubbing your skin on the leaves and get up.” I tell him.

 

“I was just using it to scratch my back.” He tells me.

 

“Keep using the Poison Ivy and you’ll be scratching everywhere.” I tell him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRIAN

 

I picked up a happy Justin from his SAT’s. I was taking him and Daphne out to lunch to celebrate. Daphne was picking up Mark and meeting us at the diner. She was thrilled to have another young gay man to show around. I just hope the kid finds someone to obsess over other than me. Justin is the only one I want.

 

“Mom wants to come to the party tomorrow.” Justin tells me.

 

“You think it’s a good idea? I’m not sure how Lindsay is going to react to Mel and I undermining her.” I tell him.

 

“It can’t be any worse than the women in Mom’s circle trying to get back at the cheating husband.” Justin tells me.

 

My phone rings, I look at the display and I throw it to Justin, after the shit with Lindsay, I’m just not in the mood for Michael.

 

“Hello Michael. ...Brian’s driving and asked me to answer. ...Well you're just going to have to talk to me.” Justin puts the phone down and turns to me. “Michael said it’s urgent, and wants you to talk to him.” I shake my head no. “He doesn’t want to talk to you right now. ...Whatever Michael, tell me and I’ll tell him and see if he wants to talk to you.” Justin rolls his eyes and switches the phone to his other ear. I grab his free hand and let him feel what’s waiting if he gets Micheal off the phone.

 

I pull over, stop the car and push my seat back. Justin needs to get off that phone, without me having to talk to Michael. 

 

“What did the doctor say? I doubt it’s life threatening.” Justin leans in and kisses my neck and starts unbuttoning my pants.

 

“Right, give me a second.” Justin tells Michael and puts the phone on the dashboard. 

 

He leans over and is licking around my crown. I wait for him to swallow me. Jesus, I love Justin’s mouth. Justin starts massaging my cock with his tongue. Hmmm, yesss. 

 

 

MICHAEL(and what he hears)

 

“Hmm, yesss?” I can barely hear him, the connection must be bad.

 

“Brian, I thought you would want to know, I’m at the hospital. I fucking hate nature, I got swarmed by bees and fell off a cliff. I could have been killed. David told me to stop acting like a baby.” I tell him.

 

“Jesus… OOH FUCK… um yes… Fucking A... .” He seems shocked.

 

“I know, he could at least have felt bad for acting like a jackass. He told me to stop acting like it was so bad, I almost fell to my death.” I yell through the phone. I hate the way the connection is in the country.

 

“Yeah… God yes…don’t stop… ummm…” Brian tells me.

 

“See you understand. He told me that if I need to complain to call someone who would listen. I called my best friend.” I tell him.

 

“OOH… Yeah… that’s exactly what I want.” Brian tells me.

 

“I knew that you would, so I called. I’m coming home tonight and thought you might want to come over to my apartment and see me.” I tell him.

 

“Shit… I’m... cumming… right… fucking… now.” Brian yells. I knew he cared about me.

 

“Brian I’m still in out of town, but I’m so glad you want to see me. I’ll call you when I get home, we can spend time with just each other. I think David is going to break up with me.” I tell him.

 

“Come here.” Brian said it so sweetly.

 

“You want me to come to the loft?” I ask him. 

 

“Want me to take care of you?” Brian asks.

 

“Of course, it would be nice to have someone look after me.” I tell him.

 

“Why not?” I hear Brian say.

 

“I SAID YES.” I yell in the phone.

 

“Come on, no one will see.” He tells me.

 

“Brian, I said yes, why does it matter if anybody sees?” I ask him.

 

“I want to take care of you.” Brian tells me. I wonder if he is finally ready to be with me.

 

“I want to take care of you too, I have to go, the doctor is coming. I’ll make David drop me off at the loft. I miss you so much.” I tell him.

 

“Later?” He questions me.

 

“Anytime, I can’t believe it. I have to go, I love you Brian.” I tell him and hang up.

 

 

JUSTIN

 

Brian wanted to take care of me but we needed to get to the diner. I whispered in his ear that  Daphne was waiting.

 

“Why did we pull over again?” Brian looks so confused.

 

“So I could blow you.” I tell him.

 

Brian gets back into his seat and starts the Jeep. As he pulls out his phone slides off the dashboard and I remember Michael. I check to see if he’s still on, oh well, guess he hung up. We pull up to the diner to Daphne starring with a raised eyebrow.

 

“You know, I had to go pick up Mark, you two were supposed to just head here. Care to explain how I beat you here?” She asks me.

 

“Do you really want an explanation? It involves exchanging bodily fluids.” I tell her.

 

“No, well maybe, you know what, just keep it to yourself. I’m jealous enough as it is.” Daphne tells me.

 

“How about we eat so I can take your best friend home and exchange some more.” Brian tells Daphne.

 

“Brian, when aren’t you two trying to exchange things?” She tells us.

 

“Daphne, Justin better be willing when I’m using a walker.” Brain tells her.

 

“Only Justin could find his soulmate on his first try.” Daphne tells us. 

 

 

BEN

 

I sat with Kira as she was watching her fathers. It must be hard to be able to see them, but not be with them. Justin wanted us to help Kira after he left, he told me that he didn’t want her to get lonely. Carl and I tried to get her to do anything. She just wanted to talk about Brian. I just about choked, it was like listening to Michael all those years.

 

I distracted her when Brian and Justin were in the Jeep, there are some things she doesn't need to see. When we looked back they were pulling up to the diner.

 

“I wasn’t around when they first met, but they were always looking at each other.” I tell her. 

 

“They were?” She asked looking at me.

 

“They couldn’t not be together, even when they broke up.” I tell her. 

 

“Daddy wouldn’t let me see that.” She tells me.

 

“I don’t think he wanted you to know that they weren’t always together.” I tell her.

 

“I just don’t understand why people keep trying to break them up.” She tells me.

 

“I think that it was because they couldn’t be happy, and Brian being happy without them scared them.” I tell her.

 

“Is that why Michael pretended to be Vic?” She asks me.

 

“Michael believed the wrong person.” I tell her.

 

“Why are you defending him?” She asks me.

 

“I’m not, I promise. I loved Michael, but it was like there was this hole in Michael, one that only Brian could fill. I tried to be that for him, but he couldn’t let go of your father.” I tell her.

 

“You never had my father, it was always going to be Daddy.” She tells Michael. 

 

“No, he didn’t.” I stare at my husband.

 

“Ben, I…” Michael stops talking.

 

“Don’t Michael, nothing you say will change what you're doing.” I tell him.

 

“Can I at least tell you I was wrong. I got here and found out about Ma, and it was like Justin ruining my life again.” Michael tells us.

 

“What is with you? Why are you trying to blame my dad for other people making their own mistakes?” Kira asks him.

 

“Your dad always got what he wanted, it was hard to watch.” Michael tells her.

 

“Then close your eyes.” Kira glares. She runs away until we see her disappear.

 

“You want to know what was hard for me to watch, Michael? It was hard to watch you telling Brian that it was your chance to be with him, three days after my funeral. It was hard to watch you practically crawl in the coffin with Brian. You couldn’t even live for Jenny, you just let go, because Brian wasn’t there. Did you ever really love me?” I ask him. 

 

“Ben, you were the best man I knew. Of course, I loved you.” Michael tells me.

 

“I’m not so sure, if I was, wouldn’t you be happy to be with me again? Instead, you’re trying to change your past so we wouldn’t be together. That’s what you’re doing, whether you admit to it or not. I don’t want to hear it, whatever excuse you're thinking up. You need to stop what you’re doing because in the end, those two will never love anyone else. Nothing you or Lindsay think up will change that, no matter what the result, they wait for each other. While you and Lindsey keep each other company in hell.” I tell him.

 

“Brian was supposed to be with me. We always said we would grow old together. You left me and I didn’t know how to be alone.” Michael tells me.

 

“I have a theory Michael, the reason you were never going to have Brian was because Brian couldn’t respect a man who kissed his ass. You didn’t want him to change because he would have left you behind to stay a child. It worked for years, until Brian met someone who wouldn’t let him get away with being forever fourteen with you. You always thought Brian liked Justin’s youth, but I watched, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. You need to watch what they were like when we weren’t there to see it, it’s eye opening Michael. It wasn’t all sex, drugs and tricks, they cared about each other. Justin didn’t do things to get Brian’s attention, he did them because he wanted to make sure Brian was happy, and Brian did the same for Justin. I have a feeling if you had been the one who proved Brian’s nephew was lying, you would have made sure to tell the whole world. So that Brian would have owed you for helping him. Just how fucking selfish are you? Did I even know you? ” I leave him before I hear his answer.

 

 

MICHAEL

 

I stood in the nothingness that Ben left behind. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry for everything I did since dying. I don’t know how to get out of this. Uncle Vic walked into Purgatory and I was sure they would come out, but they are still there. Lindsay told me they could get out, but they haven’t. I hid from Ben because I knew he was going to find out what I was doing. I need help, but everyone is turning away from me. 

 

“You want help?” Carl asks me.

 

“I don’t know how to fix any of this Carl.” I tell him.

 

“Go to your mother and let Vic come out of Purgatory to help Brian and Justin. Vic volunteered to go in your place to Purgatory, he hoped that you would remember Ben, the man you married, and forget this shit you and Lindsay are trying to do. For once in your life, sacrifice yourself for your family. If Brian and Justin succeed, this life won’t exist. Which means this whole mess will no longer have happened.” Carl tells me.

 

“How do I do it?” I ask him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRIAN 

 

Justin thinks it's hilarious that Mark was tripping over his tongue every time I talked. I just want Daphne to take the kid home, I owe Justin some private time. Unfortunately, we're stuck babysitting the youngen. 

 

“Daph, you want to come tomorrow?” I ask her.  

 

“I planned to, Justin said it was to celebrate him selling out at the GLC.” She tells me. 

 

“I just wanted to have you there for Justin’s mom.” I tell her.

 

“Bri...an, I  was… um wondering… if you like… um have any advice about exploring my… um sexuality.” Mark really needs to learn to spit it out.

 

“Don’t run off with someone just because they offer. No drugs, if you don’t know a person enough to trust them. Always, no matter what anybody tells you, use a condom.” I tell the kid.

 

“So you and Justin use condoms?” He asks me.

 

“Yes. Not because we don’t trust each other, but because I was with other people, before Justin.” I tell him.

 

“We aren’t sure we’re ready for monogamy.” Justin tells him.

 

“So you guys still sleep with other people?” Mark asks excitedly.

 

“No, but until I have an all clear in six months, we aren’t taking chances.” I tell Mark and a surprised Justin.

 

“We need to talk.” Justin tells me.

 

I know we need to talk but up until the kid asked me that question, I hadn’t made up my mind. I don’t want to play russian roulette with our lives. We’ve had enough of other people doing that for us. I nod at him.

 

“Maybe you could take Mark here to hang out with Emmett.” I tell Daphne.

 

“Emmett will answer anything, so you can find out what you want to know.” Justin tells him.

 

“You’ll love Emmett, Mark. He is always happy and really sweet.” Daphne tells Mark.

 

“Give him a call, I think he’s at Deb’s with Vic. Vic is trying some recipes for their new business.” Justin tells Daphne.

 

“You need to go meet Deb, she is like the den mother to all gay boys.” Daphne tells Mark.

 

“Do you think they would mind us coming over?” What a good little WASP Mark is.

 

“Not at all, she loves company.  She will probably embarrass you when she talks, but she means well.” I tell the kid.

 

Daphne tells us she’ll pick up Jen and bring her tomorrow. She leans over me to kiss Justin good-bye. I pucker up, just to see her blush. Instead she kisses me too, then grabs the kid, who looks like he would have liked to join in the love fest, and drags him to the car.

 

“What do you want to do tonight?” Justin asks me.

 

“We could go to Babylon, or I could take you to the new Kinnetik. I was thinking that we haven’t christened my new place yet.” I tell him.

 

“Before we christen anything, you want to explain the earlier comment?” Justin asks me. 

 

“Can we talk somewhere else, because no matter what we think, the gay grapevine would know.” I tell him. Justin looks around and see the wait staff pretending to clean near our table.

 

“They already heard some of it.” Justin reminds me.

 

“And that is all they need to hear, it’s going to be all over the place soon.” I tell him.

 

“You were really serious?” He asks me.

 

I get up and leave the money with a tip for a way to interested Kiki. Justin takes the hint and slides out, so we can go. Before the door even closes, I hear Kiki yell, “Kinney wants to stop tricking, I think the sky is falling and the planets are changing alignment.”

 

Justin shakes his head and walks to the Jeep. I think Justin and I are going to spend the night making sure the entire Kinnetik building isn’t left untouched.

 

“We need to get supplies, I want a night where no one can find us.” I tell him.

 

“Is there really anywhere that is possible?” Justin asks me.

 

“Kinnetik, your mom gave me the keys, I haven’t returned them yet.” I tell Justin.

 

“You and me in a building no one can find us at, I think that is probably the most romantic thing you could ever do.” Justin smiles.

 

“You and me naked the rest of the day is the hottest thing we could do. Did I mention it has a kitchen, and lots of counter space?” I smirk at him.

 

MICHAEL

 

I was so ready to get out of the hospital, I wanted to see Brian face to face. It was going to be hard to contain my excitement on the ride back to Pittsburgh. David acted like he couldn’t wait to drop me off.

 

“I can bring your things to your apartment, after I drop you off.” David tells me.

 

“Are you still coming to the party tomorrow?” I ask him. I feel bad that by tomorrow he is going to see Brian and I together.

 

“I was still planning on it.” David tells me.

 

“You could just bring my bag there.” I tell him. 

 

“I was going to pick you up and take you, so it would be easier to just bring it to your apartment.” David tells me.

 

Maybe I can tell Brian to let me talk to David tomorrow? I know it’s going to be shocking when Brian and I show up at the party together. This way we can break it to David and Justin alone. Justin will probably not even want a party, then I could tell everyone we could celebrate Brian and I. 

 

“You're right, I’ll wait for you to come over. Can you drop me off at Brian’s loft? He was worried about me and I want him to know I’m okay.” I tell him.

 

“I would have thought you would want your mother to know that.” David seems a little testy.

 

“Ma would turn it into a big deal.” I tell him.

 

“Couldn’t have a Novotny making a big deal out of nothing.” He tells me.

 

“I know, she would have me in bed for the next month.” I tell him.

 

David turns to look at me for a second and I don’t understand why he is looking at me like that. He turns back to the road and turns up the radio. I leaned back and decided to sleep, I need all the energy I have for Brian tonight.

 

I was shaken awake, and looked around to see we were at the loft. David popped the trunk and didn’t even get out to help me. 

 

“Can you get your bag? I’ll see you tomorrow.” Was all he said.

 

“I guess so, I’ll call you.” I tell him.

 

As soon as I closed the trunk, David pulled out and left me on the sidewalk. I don’t get why he is acting so angry. I’ll worry about that tomorrow, it’s not like we were seeing each other that long. I walk to the buzzer and my hands were shaking, Brian was waiting for me. I buzzed and waited, but no one answered. I buzzed him a couple more times and was starting to worry that he wasn’t there. Maybe he was running late, I walk to the garage and don’t see his Jeep. Where the hell is he? Calling his number, all I got was sent straight to voicemail.

 

“Brian, I’m here at the loft. Can you call me back?” I tell him. I walked back to the front and sat on the stairs, it hurt because of the bee stings, so I got the ring out to sit on. This is why I needed a key. I could have been sitting on the sofa instead of the hard sidewalk. I keep trying Brian but his phone is off. After twenty minutes, I called Ted, because Emmett might still be pissy.

 

“Ted, hey it’s Michael. Have you seen Brian?” I ask him. I start itching all over.

 

“We had breakfast together, to talk about Kinnetik. Other than that, I don’t keep his schedule.” Ted tells me.

 

“I talked to him earlier and he said to come to the loft.” I explain to Ted, so he knows Brian wanted to see me.

 

“Like I just said, if you had listened, I haven’t got a clue where he is.” Ted tells me.

 

“Could you call him and find out where he is?” I asks, as I rub my shoulder on the side of the building.

 

“No, if you want to bother Brian, do it yourself.” Ted tells me and hangs up.

 

I wish he would get over being mad. If Emmett had keep his mouth shut, Ted wouldn’t have heard what I said. I grab my bag and take the pills the doctor prescribed me and leaned on the side of the building. I must have fallen asleep because when I open my eyes it’s day time. I call Brian’s phone again, because he owes me an answer about why he isn’t here.

 

 My back feels like it’s on fire, I start rubbing my back on the building and my arms are starting to itch too. I get his fucking voicemail again. “Brian I waited all night, where the hell are you?” I yell into the phone. 

“Um, dude you need to move along, this isn’t a homeless shelter.” A guy tells me.

 

“I was waiting for Brian Kinney.” I tell the guy.

 

“I don’t care who you’re waiting for, just get out of the doorway. I don’t want to catch what you’ve got.” The guy tells me.

 

“What?” I ask him.

 

“Your neck, and it looks like your arms are covered in welts. It looks like the side of your face is starting to get them.” The guy tells me and walks around me into the building. I should have caught the door, but I looked at my arms and see what looks like chicken pox all over my arms. I feel my neck and face and can feel it too. The doctor said something about the poison ivy but I wasn’t really listening to him. I run to the nearest place with a bathroom, so I can look in the mirror. 

 

I see these red rashes with blisters all over my neck and up the side of my face. 

 

BRIAN

 

I wake up to Justin sitting with his sketchbook and drawing something. I look at him, and can tell he likes what he’s drawing, because he has a small smile on his face. I lean over the top and look to see a beautiful little girl running around in a field of daisies.

 

“What made you draw that?” It’s not his usual.

 

“It’s for you to see your daughter. I realized that I could give you this, until you get to meet her.” He tells me.

 

“Paint it, I want to see everything.” I can’t stop looking at her.

 

“That’s my plan, but I wanted you to have this so she becomes less abstract.” He tells me.

 

“She’s beautiful.” I tell him.

 

“You couldn’t have made a child that wasn’t beautiful.” Justin tells me.

 

“Did you ever want one that was really yours?” I ask him.

 

“Gus and Kira are mine. I don’t need to provide the sperm for a child to be mine. Speaking of sperm, want to tell me about yesterday? Don’t try to distract me with sex this time.” Justin tells me.

 

“Justin, I don’t really need the tricks, my reasons for doing it aren't important to me anymore. If you still do, I’ll find a way to deal with it.” I tell him. I thought I could still do the tricking, but I’m not in the same mindset I was when we met the first time.

 

“I never really cared one way or the other. Once in awhile wouldn’t have bothered me. If you want it to just be us then I’m good with that. We wait until your next test and if you still want to be just us, then we do it.” He tells me.

 

“Do we need to talk this to death?” I ask him.

 

“No, I’m not your best friend, I get it.” He tells me.

 

“What did Mikey want yesterday?” I ask him. I just remembered he called.

 

“He fell off a cliff or hill, into water and something about woods, ivy and bees. I was distracted by a hot guy.” Justin tells me.

 

“Want me to distract you some more?” I pull him to me.

 

“Umm, I would, but we have to go, Mom and Daphne are supposed to be at the loft in an hour. How about we try to find a place at the munchers.” Justin offers.

 

“How about we get the fuck out of there after we surprise my baby mama?” I ask him.

 

Justin gets up and starts grabbing stuff so we can get out of here. I pick up my phone and realize it must've died last night. 

 

“Remind me to grab my charger, my phone is dead.” I tell Justin.

 

We lock up and head to the Jeep. Justin told me we needed to get something to eat, because lesbian vegan wasn’t on his favorite list. We grab some drive through and get to the loft as Jen and Daphne pull up. Jen smiles at Justin as he stuffs his face.

 

“Justin we are just about to go to your party. Don’t ruin your appetite.” Jen tells him.

 

“Mom, lesbians don’t like meat.” Justin tells her. Daphne and I start giggling like school girls.

 

“Justin, you can go without meat for one meal.” She tells him.

 

“Mom, if there isn’t any meat, it’s like getting you’re only getting side dishes.” He tells her.

 

“Tofu is just as good.” She tells him.

 

“I like the real thing, I’m not going to pretend a substitute is just as good.” Justin tells her.

 

I stand there with Daphne and want to tell her maybe that’s what is wrong with Lindsay, she could have the real thing and the substitute couldn’t satisfy her either. We stop laughing long enough to follow them up the stairs.

 

Daphne suggests we take separate cars so she and Jen can head home after. I figured if things get crazy it would help to have a way to get Jen out of there. We all head to the cars to see Michael standing next to my Jeep. 

 

“What the hell is with the bandages, is he trying to get sympathy?” Daphne asks.

 

“Oh my, is he alright?” Jen asks. 

 

“Brian, he’s has gunk seeping out. With my allergies I can’t get near him.” Justin tells me. 

 

I see what Justin is talking about, his hand is covered in blisters. “Go with Daphne, I'll deal with Michael.” I tell him.  

 

I yank Justin back to me before he leaves and get a kiss before I have to deal with Mikey. I look to see Michael scowling at me. I wait until Justin leaves to talk to Michael.

 

“Hey, I have to get to the party, did you need something?” I ask him. I keep my distance, I didn’t want to catch anything that could hurt Justin.

 

“I thought you wanted to see me last night.” He tells me.

 

“Weren’t you with David?” I ask him.

 

“I’m talking about when we talked yesterday. You told me to come to the loft.” He tells me.

 

“I didn’t talk to you yesterday.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, I’m not going to let you pretend that you didn’t say what you said yesterday.” He tells me. 

 

“I don’t know what your talking about.” I tell him. I know I never talked to him.

 

“You finally admitted you wanted what I want.” He starts walking to me. I back up.

 

“What did you want that you think I want too?” I ask him. It’s like speaking in codes.

 

“A relationship.” He tells me.

 

“You knew that, I’ve been telling you since I met Justin that I want him and I to be together.” I tell Michael.

 

“What about me?” Michael looks like he’s about to cry.

 

“I thought you and David were using the getaway to determine if you two wanted a relationship.” I tell him.

 

“You don’t care that I was hurt, or that David treated it like it wasn’t that bad?” Michael whines.

 

What the hell is this about? He starts reaching for me.

 

“I’m glad you're not hurt, but I need you to not touch me, Justin has allergies. What the hell is the crap leaking all over your hands?” Whatever it is, his skin is splitting and oozing.

 

“I laid in poison ivy, it’s not contagious. Can we talk about us?” He asks me.

 

“How do you lay in poison ivy? And yes Michael, it is contagious, if I touch the open sores I can get it too.” I tell him.

 

“BRIAN, I LOVE YOU. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW TO TELL JUSTIN AND DAVID.” Michael yells at me.

 

“Tell them what? That you haven’t outgrown a fucking crush. Michael get over it, and find someone who is going to love you, in a way I can’t. If you don’t, you're going to miss out on what I feel when I’m with Justin. I have to go. You should have a doctor look at you.” I tell him and get in my Jeep.

 

MICHAEL

 

I can’t believe he said that, I thought he wanted more. Oh God, I ruined things with David for Brian. I need to get home and see if I can make it up to David. I grabbed a cab, the guy looked like he didn’t want me to ride in the cab. 

 

“It’s poison ivy, just fucking drive.” I tell the guy.

 

We pulled up and the guy didn’t even wait for his money before pulling away. David is standing there at the door. 

 

“David, hey sorry to keep you waiting.” I tell him.

 

“The rashes started?” He could have told me.

 

“I’ve been itching everywhere.” I tell him.

 

“Did you take the oatmeal bath, it helps.” He tells me.

 

“I was afraid to get in the water.” I tell him.

 

“Let’s go in and I’ll take care of you.” He tells me. I hope I didn’t ruin things with him, I need someone to take care of me.

 

MEL

 

Lindsay acted like we were entertaining the president. She brought out her best dishes and cooked close to a dozen different foods. I just wish it looked like something anyone would eat. I stood with Gus in my arms and watch Martha Stewart.

 

“Lindsay, we only have about twelve people coming here, why did you cook for thirty or forty people?” I ask her.

 

“I invited all our friends and my parents agreed to come. I'm sure people will take some of it.” She tells me. I doubt the guys want sauce and noodles.

 

“It’s just a small get together, why did you turn this into a huge event? Your parents don't even know Justin.” I’m so confused.

 

“I just wanted it to be more than just about Justin.” She snaps at me.

 

“What else are you going to make this about?” I ask her.

 

“How about the fact that I had a baby, and that Brian is a father. Can we celebrate that, since he didn’t even show up for the last party?” She asks me.

 

I didn’t know what to say, she was acting unstable. The doorbell rang and I hurried to the door, to get Gus away from her.  Emmett and Deb were standing with dishes in their hands.

 

“Hey, Vic has been cooking up a storm, so we thought we would bring some of it with us. My hips can only stand so much food.” Deb tells me.

 

“Come in, want to trade.” I tell Deb. I know that Deb will protect Gus if Lindsay goes nuts.

 

“I would love to practice, maybe someday it’ll be Michael’s. Not that there is anything wrong with you, handsome.” Deb coos to Gus.

 

“Lead the way, Vic is behind me with more food.” Emmett tells me.

 

I take Emmett in the kitchen and Lindsay looks at the food we’re putting on the table.

 

“It’s sweet you guys wanted to help, but I wanted to do all the cooking, my parents expect a certain level of cuisine.” She tells Emmett.

 

 

“I doubt they’re going to complain about Crab puffs, spinach souffle and cheese tarts topped with fresh fruit.” Emmett tells her.

 

Emmett starts taking the tops off the platters and they were beautiful. Vic comes in and lays a large platter in the middle of the table.

 

“I made seafood and beef skewers with lime and cilantro glaze, the dip is peanut sauce.” Vic tells us.

 

“Lindsay what did you make?” Emmett asks her.

 

“I was hoping to keep to vegan, I made pigs in a blanket with tofu sausage, pasta salad, a vegetable platter, vegan cheese and crackers, and the vegan Lasagna and vegan meatballs with a sweet and sour sauce.” Lindsay tells them.

 

“Do your parents only like vegan?” Emmett asks her.

 

“No, I just wanted to show off my cooking.” She tells him.

 

“We can keep this in the kitchen and tell the guys the real food is in here.” Vic says as he walks out to get more food.

 

“What does he mean by that?” She glares at Emmett.

 

“What he means is that your finger foods are great if you are planning to only feed the vegans of your group.” Emmett tells her.

 

Lindsay suddenly switches from superbitch to Martha Stewart again. 

 

“I’m just nervous, my parents are coming and I wanted everything perfect, Vic’s right we can use these dishes when I run out.” She tells him. 

 

“Your parents wanted to meet Justin?” Vic asks her.

 

“I just thought Justin wouldn’t mind not having everything about him. We haven't even had everyone celebrate Gus.” She tells us.

 

“Didn’t you have a party for that already?” Deb asks as she walks in with Gus.

 

“Not everyone was here, Brian was too busy with Justin to worry about his son.” She points out.  

 

I had to get out of there before I asked why it should have mattered, because it was supposed to be us, not Brian, having a child. I also know it was never about me, it was her wanting a life with Brian. 

 

“I'm going to change Gus, and let people in.” I muttered.

 

Emmett follows me out of the kitchen. “Don’t let her get to you.” Emmett tells me. Ted walks over to us, and hugs me.

 

“I'm trying, but it hurts that I wasted my life on her.” I tell them.

 

“After today, you control how you want to live it. Don’t waste anymore time, Find what Justin and Brian have, I plan to.” Ted tells me. 

 

“You already know there is someone at the end of your wait, Ted. I feel like I’m spinning with nowhere to go.” I tell him. 

 

“Let me take this big guy and you and Ted go talk.” Emmett tells me. I hand him Gus and walk out the door. I take Ted to the side of the house so we don’t have an audience.

 

“It’s taken everything I have not to scream. I’ve been pretending I don’t hate the woman I planned on spending my life with Ted.” I tell him.

 

“Just a little longer and you can walk away. You could have said fuck it, and left when you found out. Gus must mean a lot to you, that you didn’t.” Ted tells me.

 

“He’s the only reason I stayed Ted. He’s my son.” I tell him.

 

“And that is why I trust you.” Brian tells me. Justin walks over to me and I let him hold me.

 

“Mel, we are going to get through this.” Justin whispers in my ear.

 

“I know, it’s just listening to her putting down Vic’s food, and trying to make everything about her, brings out the bitch in me.” I tell him.

 

“Use it Mel, let it out, it’s time. Let’s go in and finish this.” Brian tells us.

 

I let go of Justin and realize that I might have had to deal with Lindsay, but he and Brian lost everything because of her. Yet they are still standing here and helping me, instead of crying about not knowing what to do. It makes what I’ve been dealing with less important. Brian told me to stop thinking about myself and remember this is about our son. It’s time to grow back my spine and teach Lindsay what it feels like when someone screws with your future.

 

BRIAN

 

Now that we have Mel back in the game, I want to get this over with. We start back in the house, and end up walking in with Nancy and Ron Peterson. I look at Mel, she shakes her head. Justin runs in the door, he never liked Lindsay’s parents.

 

“Brian, Lindsay wanted us to be here to celebrate that you and she had a son.” Nancy tells me.

 

“You mean Mel, Lindsay and my son?” I ask her.

 

“Well of course, but you know without you, Lindsay wouldn’t have given us a grandchild.” She snubs Mel.

 

“Without Mel, I wouldn’t have done it.” I tell the bitch.

 

She smiles a fake smile and walks in ahead of us.

 

“Mother, I see you and Brian were talking, I'm glad you welcomed my mother Brian.” Lindsay acts like it's our house.

 

“We were all walking in together. I was telling him about you inviting us to meet your son.” Nancy tells her. Before Lindsay can say anything Deb yells.

 

“So are we going to fucking celebrate my Sunshine?” Deb yells out. I love Deb.

 

“Lindsay, something smells wonderful.” Nancy says trying to recover from Deb’s yell.

 

“I made a vegan menu.” Lindsay tells her.

 

“It smells like seafood.” She tells Lindsay.

 

“Oh, well Vic, that’s Debbie’s brother, brought some food he was experimenting with.” Lindsay tell us.

 

“Sunshine come over here.” Deb tells him. Justin pops the rest of what he is eating in his mouth and walks over.

 

“You need to meet the guest of honor, Sunshine. We are so proud of him, he sold out his art at the GLC.” She tells Nancy.

 

“GLC?” Nancy asks.

 

“Gay and Lesbian center.” Jen tells her.

 

“Why are you displaying your work there?” Nancy asks Justin.

 

“My son is gay. He wanted to display his work in a place where people not only appreciated his work but accepted him.” Jen tells Nancy. 

 

“Good for you Jen.” Deb tells her.

 

“How are you dealing with Lindsay being a lesbian.” Deb asks Nancy.

 

“How about you introduce me to my grandson, Lindsay.” Nancy tries to get as far away from answering that as she can.

 

“You wanted to see Gussy?” Emmett comes in with Gus.

 

“Who?” Nancy asks.

 

“Your grandson, you know the one your daughter had.” Deb tells her.

 

“I’m just surprised at his name. Did you pick it Mel? Lindsay you should have gotten Brian to agree to a more refined name.” Nancy says ‘Mel’ like you would say ‘shit’.

 

“No, I wanted Abraham, but was told on good authority that he wouldn’t survive a day in school with that name.” Mel tells her and smiles at Justin.

 

“Brian, you should have talked to Lindsay, between the two of you, you could have come up with a better name.” Nancy ignores Mel.

 

“Justin’s teddy bear was named Gus. You dragged that bear everywhere.” Jen says, trying to relieve the tension between mother and daughter.

 

“Nancy, you seem to think Lindsay wanted us to play Mommy and Daddy to Gussy. Lindsay wanted to play Mommy and Mommy. My job was shooting into a cup.” I tell her. I love pissing this woman off. Pissing Lindsay off is a bonus.

 

“Lindsay, I think your father and I are going to go. I’ll speak to you about this later.” She tells Lindsay.

 

We all watch as Nancy rushes out the door. Ron shrugs and follows his wife.

 

“Why did you have to run my parents off.” Lindsay spits at me and Mel.

 

“Why were they even here Lindsay? This was supposed to be a party with friends, suddenly you invite your parents, who act like they don’t know you muff dive.” Mel tells her. 

 

“Brian, I think Daphne, Justin and I will wait in the kitchen.” Jen tells me.

 

Everyone but Ted, Emmett, Mel, Lindsay and I head to the kitchen. At least we can do this without  having to worry about the others hearing.

 

“Brian, you need to start respecting my parents in Gus’s life. I haven’t made a lot of conditions, but if you continue to bully my family, you won’t get to see Gus as much.” Lindsay tells me.

 

“I’ll see him whenever I want.” I tell her.

 

“I think Mel was right, you're too selfish to think of Gus. I think until you show you can be responsible and respect Mel’s place in Gus’s life, you shouldn’t come to see Gus.” Lindsay really thinks sweet talking Mel will work.

 

“I don’t need your permission, Mel and I went ahead and got a custody agreement filed. I get my son, and I don’t need to kiss your ass to see him.” I tell her.

 

“What is he talking about Mel?” She asks Mel.

 

“He’s talking about the custody agreement you signed the other day, when Kelly came over for breakfast.” She tells Lindsay.

 

“I don’t care what you had me sign, I didn’t know what it was. No one is going to hold me responsible for whatever agreement you and Brian cooked up.” She tells us.

 

“You watched it being notarized, by another lawyer. Makes it legal, no matter what you think.” Mel tells her.

 

“You think you won, I’ll take him out of the country and you’ll never see him again.” Lindsay tells me.

 

“You go near an airport and I’ll have you for kidnapping. Unless Mel and I agree you can’t take him anywhere.” I tell her.

 

“Mel are you going to stand there and let Brian do this?” Did she not hear that Mel and I did this together.

 

“Yes, Lindsay, because after today, I’m done with you. Gus is the only thing I want to remember you by.” Mel tells her.

 

Lindsay stares at all of us, and I can see the minute she realizes that we all know what she was doing.

 

“You all know?” She says to us. We nod at her. I watch her shoulders slump and she looks at me and Mel one last time and leaves the house. We all waited for her to come back but she never did. Could it be that easy? Emmett walks to the door and looks to see if she was outside but didn’t see her. My phone rings.

 

“She’s left to lick her wounds. She can’t manipulate you if you all know.” Marilyn tells me.

 

“Is she coming back?” I ask her.

 

“Not for a long time, so go eat some fucking food.” Marilyn tells me.  

 

“You guys going to come and eat some of this fucking food, or stand there all day?” Deb asks us. Suddenly, I’m actually hungry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

TED

 

I quit my job, without any notice, because I believe Brian is going to make Kinnetik into one of the top firms in the business. Mel told me she would have been scared shitless doing what I did, but if Brian delivers, it was the smartest thing I ever did. I decided to have faith in a man who only ever succeeded in life. 

 

I was always jealous of Brian because it seemed like everything came so easy for him. Guys throw themselves at him, and he was a success at a great job. It was worse when I found out he and Justin were connected through every life. How lucky can you get to have the love of your life born to find you? 

 

What I never considered is that he works his ass off; for the body men lust over, and the job he is successful at. I also never thought about how much he cares about the people in his life. Instead of just setting himself up, he is running his ass off for all of us. I know I’ve never had to work this hard before.

 

 

So here I am in a vacant building watching Brian bring his company to life. He got Cynthia to follow him, which says a lot. Cynthia knows the Brian we've never seen, the businessman. I noticed that in the short time we worked together, he looks at what's more important to the business. We weren't decorating his office first, he wanted the actual parts of the business that were important ready, before an office for him to sit in was even thought about

 

“I want the art department set to go, without them here, I can’t deliver. Ted and I can make do with a couple tables and computers for now.” He tells Cynthia. He’s right, we aren't having to create the visuals. 

 

“Murph gave me a list of must haves, if we expect him to start working next week.” Cynthia tells us. 

 

That’s the other thing, people are following Brian into the unknown. He has applications coming in from all over the place. I'm in awe of the trust people have with putting their futures in Brian’s hands.

 

“Ted, I want those items in house. We can worry about renovations after they’re set up.” Brian tells me. 

 

“I had an idea about the renovations.” I tell him. Shit, I'm actually nervous about what Brian is going to think of my idea. I’ve heard Brian when you say something stupid, he tells you what he really thinks.

 

“Spit it out.” He tells me. Please don’t let him think I'm an idiot.

 

“Understand this is a combination of watching Justin when he comes here and listening to you complain all these years.” I tell him.

 

“Some time this year, Ted.” Brian tells me.

 

“Instead of enclosing the space for the art department, leave it open air, let clients see the art being created. Clients like to know your artists are good, but if they can meet the people who are going to sell their product, that gives it a personal feel. Watching Justin paint I noticed he seems to enjoy working in an area where natural lighting is always available. These people are artists too, you shut them in a room and their creative side is in an enclosed space, nothing to fire their senses. Justin seems to need to look around when he working, like he needs stimulus. It also makes it so you don’t have to go through a door to see what everyone is doing. It’s something you always complained about, having to walk in and seeing everyone scramble to do the things that they should have been working on, but we're able to slack off, because they had so much privacy. This way, not only you, but Cynthia are able to see what they are doing, without it seeming like you're watching.” I wait for him to shoot me down.

 

“Basically, clear the area and add the desks and equipment?” Brian asks me.

 

“It’s not me trying to be cheap, it’s just, look at where Justin put an easel.” I tell him. “It’s where he doesn’t have to move as the sun changes position.”

 

“What about adding a skylight overhead? With that, and the open air suggestion, they won’t feel like we put them in a box.” Cynthia tells us.

 

“Good idea, Ted. Get with Murph and make sure he thinks it will work for him.” Brian tells me. That was all, no telling me I need to stick to the numbers.

 

“Ted, Justin is about to turn eighteen, I need him on payroll so he keeps medical coverage.” Brian tells me.

 

“His parents can cover him until he gets out of college.” I tell him.

 

“His father is going to drop Justin out of his life, so I doubt he cares if Justin is covered.” Brian tells me.

 

“What title do you want to give him?” Cynthia asks.

 

“Just have him as one of the artists, Murph will have to make the decision on how much he uses Justin. I just don’t want him slinging burgers at the diner.” Brian tells her.

 

I respect that about Brian, he didn’t just put Justin in charge of a department. I doubt Justin would have taken the job, he seems like the kind of person who wants to earn what he gets.

 

“Ted, did Emmett and Vic go see about a business loan? I want to have their area done, so Kinnetik clients don’t have to see the kitchen renovations.” Brian tells me.

 

“With you signing that they already have a guaranteed client base, they were given the loan as soon as the paperwork was filled out. Vic didn’t want to remodel to much, he said the kitchen was brand new.” I tell him.

 

“They need to have an area where they can display their offerings. I want them to be able to buy me out within a year. We are going to have clients coming in within a week, and if they have to walk by HoneyGrass, I want them to like what they are seeing. It could get them clients outside of Kinnetik. Tell Emmett to get with Justin to create pamphlets with the services they are going to provide, it’s something the clients can look at while waiting for appointments. We can put them on the reception desk.” Brian tells me.

 

“I’ll handle talking to Emmett. Ted, I need to know what kind of furniture you want for your office.” Cynthia tells him. 

 

“A desk, chair and computer. I’m an accountant, we tend to be in the back of the building.” I tell her.

 

“Ted, you’re not an accountant, you’re CFO. You do understand that you're not going to hide in your office?” Brian asks me.

 

“I thought you just wanted me to do the numbers.” It’s all I ever did.

 

“You're going to be in all my meetings, and be the person the clients see to arrange for additional services. Which reminds me, go to an actual tailor, you are not representing me in a suit an undertaker wears.” He tells me.

 

I suddenly realize Brian wasn’t using me to keep his company out of the red. He was grooming me to work in the business. Clearing my throat, I tell him, “I’ll go this afternoon.”

 

JUSTIN

 

Brian tried to convince me to get a car, but I never had one. I told him the reason I never bothered was because, I like to people watch. The real reason was because I knew Brian would have bought one for me, instead of letting me do it on my own. Brian and I had problems with me wanting to do things for myself, I know it’s because everyone expected Brian to handle their problems. I didn’t want to be another person using him, even if he didn’t see it that way. I did take the Jeep today because with Lindsay MIA, Mel needed us to help with Gus. 

 

Brian was going to be at Kinnetik until late tonight and I told him with homework and Gus, it was easier for me to be at the loft. He didn’t fight me too much, but I think it’s because we tend to distract each other, and right now he has to put all his concentration on Kinnetik. 

 

Going to the daycare, I run in to pick up Gus. Brian wasn’t thrilled with him having to stay in the place but with everyone’s schedule, it was the only option right now. Mel and Brian are going to start looking for a nanny, because Brian doesn’t like that all the kids trade colds and diseases with each other.

 

Gus was napping when someone buzzed the loft, so I hurried to let them in and keep him from waking up. I checked on Gus, then went to see who it was. Crap, I guess it was time for Jack to tell Brian about the cancer. I never actually meet Jack, so this is my first time dealing with the asshole.

 

“Can I help you?” I ask him.

 

“I’m looking for my son, Brian.” He tells me.

 

“He’s working, did you want to leave a message?” I ask him.

 

“Is he coming back soon?” He asks me.

 

“I’m not sure what time he’s coming home. If you want to wait, you can come in, but his son is sleeping so don’t make too much noise.” Brian was going to tell his dad about Gus. I’d hoped the shock of hearing about would kill the bastard. To bad, he’s still breathing.

 

“Brian has a son? Why didn’t he tell me or the warden?” Jack asks me.

 

“Do you or your wife even care? I got the impression the only thing he was good for was giving you money and listening to your wife bitch about all the sacrifices she made staying with you.” I just can’t be nice to someone who beat Brian.

 

“Who the fuck are you?” He asks me.

 

“His name is Justin, he’s my partner. If you say or do one thing to piss him off, you can fucking leave.” Brian tells him. 

 

“I came over to tell you I’m dying and I have to find out you’re a fucking faggot?” He yells at Brian and wakes Gus up.

 

“You keep your goddamn voice down. My son isn’t going to be raised thinking that yelling and having your ass beat is normal.” Brian tells him. Brian comes to get Gus and smiles at him to calm Gus.

 

“Where is his mother?” He asks Brian.

 

“She ran off the minute she realized I wasn’t going to be trapped because she spit out my kid.” Brian tells his father.

 

“In my day you knocked them up, you married them.” He tells me.

 

“Look how well that went. No, I think my son is going to grow up knowing I want him.” Brian tells him.

 

“So you and that kid are going to raise the boy? Hope he doesn’t turn into a faggot.” Jack is trying to see Gus.

 

“If he does, be glad you’ll already be dead and don’t have to worry about it. You’re dying, and your son’s a faggot, life is just one big disappointment isn’t it?” Brain sneers at him.

 

“You should be the one dying, instead of me.” Jack turns to go out the door and great, Craig is standing there.

 

“Hi Dad, want to meet your future? Jack Kinney, meet another father who hates his queer son. You want to tell me I should be dead too Dad? It seems to be what all you homophobic assholes believe. Maybe you two should go out for a drink, you can try to convince yourselves that if Jack had beaten Brian more he would have been straight. I mean breaking his arm and ribs didn’t work. Dad, you can get tips on how to treat your gay son.” I tell him.

 

“Justin, I wanted to talk to you.” My Dad tells me.

 

“I’m still gay, will always be gay. It’s not going to change, so why not go hang out with Jack so he can give you tips on how to hate your kid for being born. Then you can tell him how my being gay is such an inconvenience to your plans for me to be a breeder, like you. I'm  going to be too busy being happy without you in my life.” I tell him. 

 

“I don’t hate you.” Craig tells me.

 

“You don’t love me if my being gay is the reason you cut me off.” I tell him.

 

“You could come home…” Craig starts to say, but Brian cuts him off,

 

“If he never mentions he’s gay, and changes who he is to suit you, right?” Brian asks him.

 

“Dad, just pretend I died, it’s what I plan to do about you. Jack is doing it for Brian, guess he’s really taking one for his son.” I hurt, I thought I was over this.

 

“Just get the fuck out, tell the warden to call me when you kick the bucket, I’ll pay for everything as usual. Craig don't come here again, you're not welcome.” Brian tells Jack and Craig.

 

I walk over to get Gus, I need to hold him. I need to know that Gus is loved, even if my father can’t love me. I hear Brian slam the door, and just want to curl in bed with him and Gus. I don't want to talk about Craig. I just need to feel Brian’s unconditional love for me and Gus. Brian climbs on the bed and holds me and Gus. I finally start to feel better, but I need him to hear something from me.

 

“You know all those times you thought you were a shitty father?” I look in his eyes. “You were wrong, because it wouldn’t have mattered to you what Gus turned out to be, you love without limits. It's why I would walk thru fire for you.” 

 

“That’s how I love you.” Brian tells me.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRIAN

 

It’s funny how the people who pass through your life and were barely a footnote keep coming back. I was sitting at the table with Ted, we were looking through resumes, because I don’t want to be the only one bringing in the clients, when Kip comes through the door and I hear him ask Cynthia about his resume. I look at one of my dumber ideas and wonder what the hell I was thinking at the time. Shit, Ted’s better looking when he isn’t even trying, than Kip dressed up for an interview. 

 

“Ted, don’t go anywhere. This is the guy who I fucked at work, and when I didn’t advance his career, he tried to sue me.” I tell Ted.

 

“Brian, do you have time for an interview? Kip from Ryder wanted to see if you could squeeze him in.” Cynthia asks me. 

 

“Was he on the list?” I ask her.

 

“No, he just thought you might be interested, if you have time to see him.” Cynthia tells me. I wasn't really interested the first time.

 

“Send him up.” I tell her. I have no intention of hiring the asshole, but if he wants to do a song and dance, I’ll let him.

 

I watch him walk up the stairs to us, he seems to still be under the impression that being gay was all he needed. He smiles at me and licks his lip, I raised an eyebrow. I turn to see if Justin noticed Kip yet. Justin wasn’t looking in our direction but if the smirk was an indication, he heard who was here. Kip walks over to the table and starts to sit in the chair next to me.

 

“Sorry, but that seat is taken.” Justin tells him and slides into the seat.

 

“Oh, it just seemed so informal here.” He tells Justin.

 

“We're still renovating, grab a chair on the other side of the table.” Ted tells Kipster.

 

“So Chip, what brought you here without an appointment?” I ask the shithead.

 

“It’s Kip, and I wanted to offer you the chance to hire me. I feel that I’m ready for an executive position, I have fresh ideas and am willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.” He tells me, smiling while trying to nonchalantly look me over.

 

“Give me an example of what you mean when you say ‘whatever it takes’.” I tell him. Sleeping his way to the top isn’t going to cut it. I wonder if he had plans to impress me, instead of seducing me.

 

“Like I said I have fresh ideas and think clients will respond to them.” He tells me.

 

“Like what fresh ideas? Give me an example.” I ask him. 

 

“If I had a product, my ideas would be innovative.” He tells me.

 

“I'm glad you learned big words in school, but that’s not really an answer. Let me help you, if I was to give you a pharmaceutical drug like the ones for HIV, how would you sell it to the client.” I ask him. 

 

“I would show the people taking the drugs being able to do things like climb mountains and still have a phenomenal life.” He tells me. That’s what I thought too, but because I actually listen to the people who take the drugs, I found out that just being able to live longer was more than enough.

 

“I wanted a fresh idea, your giving me the same commercials we see on TV for every other drug on the market. I thought you were offering fresh ideas?” I tell him. 

 

“I would focus on the guy everyone wants to be.” He tells me. 

 

“Popularity is wonderful, but we're talking about life saving drugs, not a contest to see if we can get up a mountain. It’s like the commercial where we see a smiling guy with his wife, and all because he took Viagra. What I don’t see is why a guy really takes the drug. I’m not selling to the old biddy in the commercial, but the guy who wants to prove to the bitch on the side that he can still get it up.” I tell Kip.

 

“But a company doesn’t want to tell people ‘here take this when you want to cheat’. People would get offended.” Kip tells me.

 

“It would be talked about, and the guy who wants the drug for his twenty year old girlfriend, would be the first in line. One of the reasons I'm a success is because I tell them what will sell the drug, not what will keep people who don't buy it, happy. Remember, if the company knew what to do, I’d be flipping burgers at the golden arches, not opening my own company.” I tell him.

 

“I was really hoping we could talk in private. I’m sure you’ll be happy to have me work for you if I could see you alone. I know what it takes to get ahead.” He tells me. It didn’t work the first time, thanks to the smiling twat beside me.

 

“What it takes, is going after the client even when they tell you they aren’t interested, and showing them what they will be passing up, by going with a subpar agency. Telling the client that with you, they are going to see their market share rise, even if the commercial doesn’t conform to other’s beliefs. ‘I have fresh ideas’, is what you tell a potential boss when you want to start in the mailroom. You want me to hire you, but what are you offering other than your belief in a skill you haven’t proven? How many clients have you courted and won?” I ask him.

 

“I haven’t actually been given the opportunity to talk to a client.” He isn’t so confident anymore.

 

“Then why would you think you could start at the top?” Justin asks him.

 

“Brian, is it necessary to have this kid here?” He ignores Justin and speaks directly to me.

 

“First it’s Mr Kinney, unless Brian tells you differently. Second, I work here, unlike you.” Justin tells him.

 

“Justin is an artist in my art department. He is also part owner of the company.” I tell the fucker.

 

“And it only cost a dollar.” Justin tells Kip.

 

“Why don’t you answer Justin’s question, why would someone start you at the top? You bring nothing to the table but words, that, without even one client, isn’t screaming executive.” I tell him. 

 

“I wanted to offer you a chance to hire me, because one day you might have to win clients from me.” Kip tells me. It’s the first right thing he said so far.

 

“When that day comes, I will welcome the competition. But right now I’m hiring people who have proof they can bring in the business, not the hope that they can.” I tell him.

 

“I’ll stick with Ryder than, at least he already has clients and business.” Kip tells me.

 

“Seventy percent of which I brought in, yes, I know. Tell Marty I’ve already got forty percent coming here and plan on taking the rest in the next few months. That is, if you actually talk to Marty. If you need a job, I might have an opening in the mailroom.” I smirk at him. He gets up and walks swiftly out the door.

 

“I still don’t get it?” Justin tells me.

 

“Don’t get what?” Ted asks Justin.

 

“The guy can’t give even a half decent blow job, and sorry, but I just about threw up when I kissed him. What were you thinking Brian?” Justin asks me.

 

“I thought I wanted to fuck, and he was willing. Definitely not my best idea.” I tell him.

 

“You screwed that guy and he blew Justin?” Ted asks.

 

“In another life.” I tell Ted.

 

We all resume what we were doing before the interruption. We promised Deb that we would all come to dinner tonight and I wanted to get everything done today. Justin came along to finish the painting he was working on. I promised not to look until he was done, it was a painting of Kira.

 

DEBBIE

 

Michael wanted me to have a dinner so he could bring David. He told me that he wanted the gang to come. Vic told me Michael wanted to show off David. I was just thrilled he was seeing someone. Michael called and told me he wanted Vic to cook, David was used to less rich food. I didn't do what I wanted and tell him to tell David if my cooking didn't suit him, to kiss my ass. I wanted this to work for Michael. 

 

Everyone started arriving. Emmett was pulling out the table, when my son shows up.

 

“I came early to make sure we use the good dishes. I want David to be impressed.” Michael tells me. 

 

“What good dishes?” I ask him. 

 

“Use the ones you bought in Italy.” The shit tells me. 

 

“Those were decorative, Michael.” Emmett tells him.

 

“They're better than the mismatched set we always use.” He tells us. 

 

“Decorative, meaning for decoration, not to use. The plates can contain chemicals that aren't good to put food on.” Emmett tells him.

 

“I'll go buy something that at least matches. Jesus Ma, couldn't you have at least thought of that.” He tells me,  as he storms out.

 

“What the hell was that about?” Vic asks me. 

 

“Michael being a dick, maybe we should tell him if David can't eat off a clean plate, to fuck off.” Emmett tells us. 

 

“I have a better idea, Vic hand me the red pepper, I'm making puttanesca. Hope David doesn’t choke on the spice.” I tell them.

 

JUSTIN 

 

Deb was cooking up a storm when Brian and I arrive. Everyone is standing in the living room watching her.

 

“Don’t eat the puttanesca, she made it for Michael and David.” Emmett tells me. 

 

“I really like her puttanesca.” I tell him. 

 

“Michael practically ordered her to let Vic cook, then came here and was pissed when we were using the everyday dishes. He left, telling Deb he was going to buy matching ones since she should have thought of that.” He tells me. 

 

Definitely no puttanesca tonight. We wait around for the guest of honor to arrive. 

 

MICHAEL 

 

I can’t believe Ma, I told her I wanted to impress David. He’s been lukewarm since we got back from the country. I was hoping he would see I was willing to be with him. He told me he felt we were moving too fast, and he wanted to be sure of me, before his son came.

 

I don't understand, he pursued me at first. Now he acts like I need to prove to him I'm worth his time. I had to beg him to come tonight. If Ma had just understood that David needs to see I'm a great catch, I wouldn’t be spending money on fucking dishes that match. I just hope when he arrives she doesn't say anything embarrassing in front of him.

 

I finally get back to the house and I’m glad David isn’t here yet. I want to make sure no one says anything I don’t want David to hear. 

 

“Michael is back.” Uncle Vic tells everyone. 

 

I look around to see everyone but Lindsay here. Brian has Justin in his lap. I think it’s time for me to lay the ground rules.

 

“I would like for my boyfriend to see that the people in my life aren’t low class. David is used to people who can talk about something other that what positions they like. I would like for everyone to be on their best behavior tonight, respect my boyfriend.” I tell them.

 

“Why are we even here than?” Emmett asks Michael.

 

“I wanted my friends to welcome the new man in my life. I would do the same for all of you.” I tell them.

 

“Justin, did Michael give you a warm welcome?” Mel asks him. The little shit just snorts.

 

“I’m trying to have a serious relationship. Unlike some people in this room, I like a little maturity in men.” I tell them.

 

“Justin, sorry if I’m not mature enough for you.” Brain tells Justin.

 

“Don’t worry, what you lack in maturity you make up for with a big dick.” Justin tells him.

 

“This is what I want to avoid. David isn’t going to find it funny that Justin talks like that.” I tell them.

 

“Maybe you should call David and tell him if he thinks we are too low class for him, to eat somewhere else.” Ma tells me.

 

“Ma, I thought you would be thrilled that I found someone. Why aren’t you helping me to impress David?” I ask her.

 

“I don’t know Mr Trump, maybe it’s because my son is acting like he wasn’t raised in my house. It could be because you’ve been rude to me since you asked me to host a dinner in my house. Where the only fucking thing you did was buy some fucking plates.” Ma tells me.

 

“It’s not like I asked you to do anything but welcome David.” I tell her.

 

“You're right, apparently my cooking isn’t up to your high standards. The friends you wanted to invite aren’t going to know how to act around the millionaire club. Why didn’t you tell me it was going to be a dinner where we should all have sticks up our asses to make you happy?” Ma tells me.

 

“Did I come at a bad time?” Fuck, I hope David didn’t hear that.

 

EMMETT

 

Michael should know that when you piss off Mama Bear, the baby bears were going to fuck you up.

 

“No of course not, we were just trying to make sure everything was perfect. We wanted to give you a night you won’t forget.” I tell him.

 

“Let’s get to the table, I’ve been cooking up all of Michael’s favorites.” Deb tell David. 

 

“Michael wanted me to cook, but you haven’t had a good Italian meal if Deb hasn’t cooked for you.” Vic tells David.

 

“I was looking forward to some home cooked food. I told Michael I hadn’t had real Italian food in a long time.” David tells us.

 

“Well, I made the Puttanesca for Michael but you should try my homemade spaghetti, I make the noodles and sauce from scratch.” Deb tells David. Guess David isn’t going to get the puttanesca of fire.

 

“I’m sure I’ll love whatever you cook.” David tells her.

 

“I made a lot, my Sunshine loves my cooking. Michael you need to wash the dishes you bought if you want to use them. The rest of us will use any old plate.” Deb tells him.

 

“Just hand me one of the ones on the table, if your cooking is as good as it smells, I don’t want to wait.” David tells her. 

 

We all sit down, including a pouting Michael. Deb hands Michael a prepared plate of food and his fork. I want to laugh at Michael, who worried about a dish but thinks the shovel technique is okay. We all wait for Michael to eat the giant bite off his fork. I swear it’s like he is making us wait. Finally he shoves it in is mouth and his cheeks puff out from the large bite and he starts chewing. We all start eating and wait for him to react to the pepper.

 

“Ma, why didn’t you make some for David… Holy fucking shit… water I...cough… cough...Ma I’m dying. My mouth...is... fuck… why did you make it…. Water please, someone…” Michael sputters out the words. I didn’t think Michael could turn so red. David seems amused by this, maybe we could like Dr David.

 

“What’s wrong Michael, I made it extra spicy, just for you.” Deb smiles at her son.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRIAN

 

Vic got up to help Michael, Deb had zero sympathy for her son. We were all trying to keep a straight face, you know, to impress David for Michael. David sat through the whole ‘death by fire’, more amused by Michael than trying to control everything around Michael.  

 

“David, Michael said you were from Portland.” Ted threw out to start a conversation.

 

“Yes, I moved here after my divorce, I wanted a start somewhere people didn’t know my wife and me.” David tells us.

 

“You picked the Pitts?” I asked. I would have picked California.

 

“I was offered a practice here, with clients. I didn’t want to start completely over. So what does everyone else do?” He asks us.

 

“I’m a family rights lawyer.” Mel tells David.

 

“Vic and I are starting an events planning company. Brian offered to help us start the business. It’s been really exciting.” Emmett tells him.

 

“You’ll have to give me your card, a lot of my friends would be interested in your services.” Dr Helpful tells Emmett. Where is the jackass?

 

“I’ll give them to Michael, once we get them. Justin is working on a pamphlet with me and Vic. Maybe you could pass those around too.” Emmett tells David.

 

“Do that, I have a few events coming up, maybe we could talk about you throwing them.” He tells Emmett.

 

Michael was watching us from the sink, he wasn't happy that David didn’t help him. I watched him scowl as David continued to ignore him.

 

“Justin, I wanted to tell you, I thought you were really talented. I was surprised by how young you are.” David tells him. Wow, Michael really didn't like that.

 

“My Sunshine creates masterpieces, his mother told me that Justin was drawing the minute he could hold a crayon.” Deb tells David.

 

“Have you started looking into colleges?” He asks Justin. Why is he acting like he wants to know us?

 

“PIFA was an idea, but I think that I want to dual major in business. I want to do what Brian is doing and someday own a gallery. I was thinking about writing and drawing a graphic novel, but I’ve been busy with finishing high school, and helping Brian with Gus and Kinnetik.” Justin tells David.

 

“Brian, don’t you work at Ryder?” David asks me.

 

“I’m branching out with my own firm. I’m tired of working for a firm that is scared to really sell the product. I like the idea of being my own boss.” I tell the alien David.

 

“Brian, what are you thinking? You should have talked to me before you just threw away your future. Ryder would have made you partner. How could you risk your future like that, or was it Justin’s idea? Why are you doing something that risky?” Michael asks me. 

 

“Everything is a risk, but I wanted to venture out. Ted and I already have clients lined up. I just think playing it safe in a job you barely tolerate is a waste of time.” I tell him. 

 

“You talked Ted into this? Jesus Brian, how could you not only flush your career down the toilet, but also screw up Ted’s? It's one thing to talk Emmett and Uncle Vic into a potentially stupid business, neither of them has anything to lose. Ted had a good job, and now he’s dependent on you. Next you'll tell me Justin works for you as your personal boytoy. At least then you could hire his ass out when you need money.” Michael tells me. 

 

“MICHAEL CHARLES NOVOTNY, YOU BETTER FUCKING APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE AT THIS TABLE. EVERY ONE OF THEM HAVE BEEN BUSTING THEIR ASSES TO ACHIEVE THEIR GOALS AND YOU ACT LIKE THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH WANTING TO BETTER THEMSELVES AND THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN INFORMED FIRST.” Mama Bear yells at him.

 

“What they’re doing is ruining their lives.” Michael tells us. 

 

“It sounds more like they're not willing to sit back and play it safe.” David tells him.

 

“You don’t understand, Brian is letting them risk their futures, on him. One thing Brian has always said was not to depend on him, if he fails to live up to the things he tells you, you're the one that gets left behind. While he wanders off and acts like he never promised you anything, Justin should realize that he is eventually going to be left behind too, and get out while he still can.” Michael tells us.

 

“What are you talking about Michael? We are starting businesses. What does that have to do with Justin and Brian’s relationship?” Vic asks him.

 

“Brian seems to think that he can say things and then ignore them when he has to face them. I just think that you're risking your futures on someone who can’t even admit to his feelings.” Michael tells us.

 

“Michael, when has Brian ever not delivered on a promise?” Justin asks him.

 

“Why don’t you mind your own business? I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to the adults in the room. Brian seems to think because he got some blond boy ass, he can lie to people and make them think they have a future, when he is just going to walk away and leave you all in the dust.” Michael tells everyone.

 

“Maybe I should go, this seems like a conversation you and your family should have in private.” David tells Michael.

 

“I think that Brian and Justin should go, so we could talk some sense into the rest of them.” Michael tells David.

 

“I think that if you don’t want me coming over there and kicking your ass, you’ll shut the fuck up.” I tell him.

 

“Is the truth too hard for you to listen to?” Michael sneers at me.

 

“No, listening to you act superior to everyone, when you can’t even get the balls to say fuck the Big Q and being in the closet at work, makes you giving advice sound like a child.” I tell him.

 

“Not everyone can screw their way to the top, some of us have to actually work. I hope Justin likes sharing you with everyone.” Michael sneers at Justin.

 

“You mean like you? Aren’t you the one who couldn’t do your job, and Justin almost got hurt because ‘little Mikey’ didn’t have a good day?” I ask him.

 

“Why do you always make it about Justin? Just once, could you think of other people, we used to be friends, but the minute you meet this kid, it’s like I no longer had a place in your life.” He tells me.

 

“Michael, you are seeing David. Brian can have a life too.” Deb tells him.

 

“You really believe that Justin is the one who Brian would change for? Trust me, Brian isn’t going to change, he might think he is, but he isn’t capable of commitment. He leads people on and then throws them out when they expect to much from him.” Michael tells us.

 

“That sounds more like you.” Justin tells him.

 

“You don’t fucking know enough to say that to me. You're barely out of fucking diapers and you think that the one man no one could have would really want you.” Michael tells Justin. 

 

“Don’t you mean the one man you can’t have Michael?” Ted asks him.

 

“I wouldn’t waste my time trying to cage Brian. I have someone better, right David?” Michael turns to David.

 

“Can we have this conversation in private Michael?” David asks him.

 

“I want my family to hear what a real relationship is like, not Brian and adopt a trick.” Michael tells David.

 

“I really think we should at least talk outside.” David tells Michael. I guess I have to get them back together, I was hoping to not have to do it.

 

“No, just tell us what you want to say.” Michael tells him.

 

“I’m sorry to do this in front of you, but Michael doesn’t seem to understand tact. Michael, I just don’t feel that you would be a good person to have around my friends and my son. Look at the way you treat Justin, because he has someone you obviously want. Right now, I don’t see a future with you, unless you get over this thing with Brian.” David tells him.

 

 It was nice to meet all of you, but I think it’s best I go.” David tells us.

 

“David you can’t mean that, I’m sorry that my friends and family can’t behave better, but don’t hold it against me.” Michael tells him.

 

“Michael, your friends and family were great. You're the one who caused a scene and insulted all the people in this room. I want someone who knows when to mind his own business. Which you don’t seem capable of doing.” David tells him. 

 

“I shouldn’t have trusted you guys to make a good impression.” Michael tells us.

 

“Deb, I really enjoyed the food. Thank you for allowing me to come tonight.” David tells her. Ignoring Michael. 

 

“Your welcome anytime, sorry about my son.” She tells him.

 

“Emmett, make sure to get me those pamphlets. I’ll make sure to pass them around for you.” David tells him.

 

“Brian, if you are looking for a smaller account come to my practice and we can talk.” David seems to be making the rounds.

 

David grabs his jacket and hurries out the door. This is going to be harder than convincing Michael to take David back. 

 

“Look what you guys did.” Michael whines at us.

 

“Now that your ex boyfriend is gone, can you explain to me why you attacked Justin and Brian?” Deb asks Michael.

 

“I was just telling the truth, Brian isn’t going to give them what they want.” He tells her.

 

“What do they want Michael?” I ask him.

 

“How about when you say something you stick to it? You know, like when you talked to me when I called from the hospital.” Michael tells me.

 

“Michael, you talked to me, not Brian.” Justin tells him.

 

“I’m talking about when you handed Brian the phone, JUSTIN.” Michael tells him.

 

“Um, I never gave Brian the phone, MICHAEL.” Justin tells me.

 

“Yes you did. He and I talked.” Michael tells him.

 

“Michael, I threw the phone on the dashboard, I think you were listening to us talking to each other.” Justin tells him. 

 

“”You must of gotten out of the car, because I only talked to Brian.” Michael tells him.

 

“Not that I remember. When Brian started the Jeep, I remembered you were still on the phone, but when I checked you had hung up.”Justin tells me.

 

“Well he told me he was coming to see me right fucking now, then told me to come to the loft and asked to take care of me. I doubt he would say that in front of you.” Michael tells Justin.

 

“Actually, I think you were listening to me tell Justin that I was cumming, with a ‘U’, not coming to see you.” I tell Mikey.

 

“Brian, why don’t you just tell everyone what you said to me. Let’s see how much faith they have when they find out you blew me off after making me think…” Michael stops before he tells everyone that I wanted him.

 

“I was getting blown Michael. You weren’t even a thought in my head.” I tell him.

 

“I ruined things with David because I thought…” Michael gets interrupted by Deb.

 

“Instead of seeing where things could lead with David, you ran after your fantasy. That’s on you, Michael. How many ways do we all have to tell you, Brian loves Justin, before you live your life?” Deb asks him.

 

“Brian doesn’t do love.” Michael tells us.

 

“I do if it’s Justin. Let me say it for the hundredth time, I am in love with Justin, not you. I plan to spend my life with him, not you. I plan to keep people who will hurt him, which includes you, out of our life. It’s time for you to decide if you can accept the TRUTH, because if you ever talk about Justin or to Justin, like that again, I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. ” I tell him.

 

“Justin and I are going to go home, so that we can be there when our son comes over in the morning. Deb, deal with your son.” I tell her. 

 

“I think Teddy and I are going too.” Emmett tells her.

 

“Gus needs to get to bed, so I’m going to leave too.” Mel tells them.

 

“I think I’ll go to my room, it’s been interesting.” Vic tells us.

 

Deb looked like she was about to chew Michael’s ass, and none of us wanted to get caught in the crossfire.

 

JUSTIN

 

We all escaped to the loft, Brian told Mel to just let us keep Gus and she could have a night off. Emmett wanted to take her to dyke night at Babylon. 

 

“It’s time to dust off your parts and show the women out there what they’re missing.” Emmett tells her.

 

“Do we really have to go to dyke night?” Ted asks them.

 

“Ted, it’s not like you can find a date on any other night.” Brian tells him.

 

“With you no longer taking every male in the place, I figure my chances may improve.” Ted tells him.

 

“Hey, before you go, what did you think of David?” Brian asks them.

 

“Seems okay, not someone I would hang out with all the time, but not someone I would ignore.” Emmett tells Brian.

 

“He’s the kind of guy I would be looking for.” Ted tells me.

 

“Hello, dyke, I don’t look at men.” Mel tells Brian.

 

“I mean, you idiots, does he seem like an asshole to you?” Brian tells them.

 

“No, he seemed likable.” Emmett tells him.

 

“He was a dick the last time.” He tells them.

 

“To you Brian, but you need to remember what you were like with him.” I tell him.

 

“I wasn’t nice, but even when he and Michael finally got together, he still wanted me out of Michael’s life. Not that I would mind now.” He tells me.

 

“Imagine you’re David, and you get to meet your potential boyfriend’s best friend. Instead of you welcoming him to the group, you hit on him. Then you get Michael to chase you, in front of him. Then Michael breaks up with him, because you don’t like him. How much of an asshole would you be to you?” I tell him.

 

“Okay, but he even talked to you. I don’t think he said anything to you in the time Michael was with him.” He points out.

 

“What would he have to talk to me about? I wasn’t really around him except at the party, and the boring ass slideshow.” I tell him.

 

“So you think he was jealous of me and Michael, and now, since I’m not doing anything but pushing Mikey away, there is no reason to be jealous?” I ask him.

 

“Makes a lot of sense to me Brian.” Ted tells us.

 

“One problem guys, how do we get David interested in Michael? They are supposed to move to Portland together. If the David we watched run for the door tonight, doesn’t change his mind, Michael doesn’t leave.” I tell them.

 

“Shit, I hate when Marilyn is right.” I tell them.

JUSTIN

 

I was leaving school when my father pulled up. I was going to ignore him, but call it stupidity, I was calling it curiosity. 

 

“Was there something you wanted?” I ask him

 

“Can we at least talk, get in and we’ll get something to eat?” He says to me. I don’t like how he’s acting.

 

“We can talk here, or I can meet you someplace.” I tell him.

 

“Justin do you have to make this harder? I just want to talk to you, I'm concerned about you.” He tells me.

 

“Like I said Dad, we can talk right here or you can meet me somewhere, like the mall.” I tell him.

 

“Justin get in the car.” He tells me. 

 

He really thinks I’m going to go with him? I don’t trust my father, he showed me over and over that he wasn’t going to turn back into the father that loved me.

 

“I’m not getting in the car. If you want to talk to me, you can do it right here, where I can scream for help.” I tell him.

 

Instead of leaving, Dad parks the car and gets out, walking towards me. What the hell is he up to?

 

“You’re still underage, I’m still your father. When I tell you to get in the car, you get in the car.” He tells me as he grabs for my arm, but I stepped back before he could touch me.

 

“What do you want, don’t come any closer.” I tell him when he tries to grab me again.

 

“I’m trying to help you. I talked to a friend and they told me that there is a place you can go, to help you get over this nonsense.” He tells me.

 

“Dad, I’m gay. It’s not something I need to ‘get over’, it’s who I am. If you think sending me to conversation therapy is going to change that, you’re out of your fucking mind.” I tell him.

 

Dad looks behind me and nods to some guys. They start walking towards me, I notice a van following them. Good luck catching me, I turn and run towards the school. The guys chasing me are trying to look inconspicuous, but they just look like out of shape old guys chasing me. Daphne was coming out of the building when I got up the stairs.

 

 

“Justin, who the hell are you running from?” Daphne asks as I pass her by.

 

“Dad wants me to go to a conversion camp. The idiots chasing me are trying to get me in the van.” I yell and keep going.

 

“Are you kidding me? Mark I need your help.” She yells.

 

DAPHNE

 

If these assholes think they are touching my best friend, they’d better think again. I swear only Craig would think up something this stupid. I wait until they are headed up the stairs and start hurling my books at the fuckers. Mark didn’t even question it, he started throwing his books at the guys. The guys try to dodge the books, but Mark apparently has a good throwing arm. I was running out of things to throw when I see a book fly past my head. I turn to see some kids from the art club Justin was in, coming to help me. The guys were almost up the stairs when a math book hit one guy in the face, he lost his footing and ended up landing on top of me. One of the teachers came outside to see what was going on.

 

“Ms. Roker, this guy is touching me in inappropriate places, and the other guy tried to get Justin in a van.” I tell her. I had to put the guy’s hand on my boob, you know, to make it believable.

 

“He told me that he wanted me and Justin to do bad things.” Mark adds pointing at the other guy. Mark is turning out to be best friend material.

 

“Excuse me, but you need to back away from my students, I’m calling the police.” She tells the guy who didn’t move his hand. I am so going to take ten showers.

 

“He’s still fondling me.” I point out and finally the fucker moves his hand.

 

“Ma’am, we have permission from Justin’s father to take him with us.” The other guy tells her.

 

“Ms. Roker, the guy told me that he wanted to touch where my parents said adults shouldn’t.” Some guy behind me tells her. Justin should buy the art club a present. 

 

Ms. Roker tells us to stay behind her as she calls the police. The creepy guys suddenly didn’t want to convince her to let them have Justin anymore, and take off. Ms. Roker asked Mark to get the license plate number. We gave her the plate number. Hopefully they will have to explain to the police why they were here.

 

 I see Craig standing there pissed. Well I’m pissed too, I had to let the perv feel me up because Craig wanted to send Justin to a prison camp. Jen is behind Craig, I hope she didn’t agree with this.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I yell at him.

 

“I’m trying to protect my son.” He tells me.

 

“So am I, from his narrow minded asshole of a father.” I tell him.

 

JEN

 

I was in the mood for some junk food today and wanted to spend time with Justin. I notice Craig standing at the bottom of stairs with school books all around him. Getting out of the car, I hear Daphne yelling at Craig. What is Craig trying to protect Justin from?

 

“By sending him to a place that tortures kids, because making Justin have sex with hookers is really going to change something.” Daphne yells loudly.

 

“What is she talking about Craig?” I ask my husband.

 

“I’m doing what you are too weak to do, I’m getting Justin some help.” Craig yells at me.

 

“Justin doesn’t need help, what is Daphne talking about?” I ask him.

 

“Dad thought I should go to one of the conversion camps, Mom.” Justin tells me as he walks out of the school.

 

“Please tell me you weren’t serious about that place, Craig. They hurt kids there. I told you what I was told about those places. ” I tell him.

 

“They just help the kids go down the right path. If you had been any kind of a mother you would have stopped Justin from moving in with that child molester.” He tells me.

 

“If you had been any kind of a father, you would have noticed Justin wasn’t around and asked where your son was before I had to tell you.” I tell him.

 

“I have to support this family, I assumed that you were making sure our kids weren’t doing stupid things. Don’t accuse me of not paying attention, when you lied about where Justin was.” He tells me.

 

“I lied because my son told me you wouldn’t stand by him. He was right, since you are trying to throw him out of our lives. I lied because I am always going to protect my children from anyone who wants to harm them, including you.” I tell him.

 

“You either stand with me or we’re through Jen.” He tells me.

 

“Well then I guess we’re through, because I will kill you before I let you send Justin anywhere.” I tell him. 

 

“Find a good lawyer Jen, because I refuse to support you if you stand by Justin.” He tells me.

 

“I’ll see you in court then, because my children mean more to me than a man who turns his back on us.” I tell him. 

 

Craig turns and walks away from me. I just don’t have it in me to care, he tried to hurt my son.

 

“Mom, I’m sorry.” Justin runs to me and wraps his arms around me. 

 

“Justin, it’s okay. I’m sorry for your father.” I tell him.

 

“Mrs Taylor, you were awesome. I’m glad Justin has you for a mom.” Daphne tells me.

 

I know  my marriage is going down the drain, but if he can’t love our children, I don’t want him around. It reminds me of the guy I saw in the mall, the one who told me I was more then my marriage. Wait, that’s where I remember Brian from.

 

EMMETT

 

It’s really bad when, instead of facing my roommate, I hide until he leaves for work. I think it’s time to look for a new place. 

 

When I came home this afternoon, Michael was sitting on the sofa waiting for me.

 

“Emmett, why is everyone suddenly siding with Brian?” Michael asks me.

 

“No one is siding with anyone. Why are you acting like an asshole?” I ask him.

 

“I’m not acting like an asshole, I just wanted to have a dinner with my friends and family. I wanted to have the guy in my life meet everyone.Then, when I hear what Brian convinced you guys to do, I was trying to keep you from making a mistake. Even David acts like I was the one causing everything, I wasn’t trying to ruin the night.” He tells me.

 

“Everything was going fine, until you started insulting everyone.” I tell him. 

 

“I was trying to get everyone to see they shouldn’t sacrifice their futures. Brian isn’t who I was worried about, he always comes out on top. If this company fails, he’ll be able to get another job, but Ted could lose everything, and Brian isn’t going to be there to help him.” He tells me.

 

“And since Vic and I are total losers anyway, it’s okay that we are following Brian?” I ask him.

 

“That’s not what I meant at all. You could always get your job back at Torso, and Uncle Vic was just staying home. Ted had a real job, and now he’s pining all his hopes on Brian.” He tells me.

 

“Michael, do yourself a favor and don’t try to make anything better, you fuck it up worse when you explain things.” I tell him.

 

“I just wanted one night to be about me, but instead, Ma tries to kill me, and all of you go on and on about yourselves. David was being polite asking about you, and you practically shove your business down his throat. Justin talks like he has all these plans, when being Brian’s fuck toy is all he seems to want. So instead of paying attention to me, David’s stuck listening to you guys.” He complains.

 

“Are you done?” I ask him.

 

“No, but you obviously want to say something.” Michael tells me. 

 

“I do, I really, really do. I want you to listen to me, pretend I'm Brian offering you his dick, because I want you to pay attention. Can you do that?” I ask him. 

 

“I hope it's an apology for last night.” He tells me. 

 

“Nope, that's something you need to do, for being a colossal asshole last night. I want to say, as a soon to be former friend, that your helpful advice and constant foot in mouth syndrome, is losing you the only people who would put up with you. Between you and Lindsay, it’s a contest as to which one of you are the winner for the asshole of the year award. I can no longer support someone who shits all over us, and instead of apologizing and meaning it, you excuse it by saying you ‘didn't mean it’ or my favorite ‘everyone misunderstood you’. Instead of grabbing David and seeing where it could lead, you chase Brian around. We are all working towards rewarding futures and you shit all over it, and call it concern. You wanted us to support you last night, but when we tried, by answering DAVID'S QUESTIONS, you rudely start in on everyone. What I want to know is, what has Justin ever done to YOU? Other than fall in love with Brian.” I ask him. 

 

“He’s a kid, he thinks Brian is going to give him what he wants, but you and I know what Brian is like. I was trying to save him from spending years chasing Brian and having to find out he is never going to get what he wants.” He tells me. 

 

“You want to know the sad part of that? You can’t acknowledge that it's not Justin who won't get what he wants, it’s you. Michael, it's time to grow up. We aren’t twenty somethings anymore, you're just about to turn thirty, but are still stuck in your fourteen year old mindset. Brian is growing up, and is going to leave you behind. If you don’t realize it yet, he wants to make a life with Justin, not you. I'm going to probably end our friendship by saying this, but I can’t continue to watch you blame everyone, instead of looking to see that you are the problem. I think you need to find a way to stop loving Brian as more than a friend. Love is supposed to be wanting the other person's happiness, not trying to ruin it.” I tell him. 

 

“I've... loved him… all my life, why can’t he…” Michael wipes the tears from his eyes.

 

“He can’t because he doesn't.” I tell him 

 

“I want him to, don't you see, he never even tried. If he…”

 

I stop him, because I can't listen to Michael’s reasoning. 

 

“It’s good to want things, but if you stay in the land of want, that's all you'll ever have. I want a lot of things too, but if I sit on a sofa and spin my wheels, hoping but not trying, I'll never have anything, just like you.” I tell him. 

 

“What am I supposed to do?” He asks me. 

 

“That is your problem Michael, stop trying to get us to tell you. Start making your own decisions. It’s part of growing up.” I tell him. 

 

“Isn’t offering advice, part of being a friend,?” He asks me. 

 

“It’s also standing back, so people can succeed or fail. It’s not demeaning their decisions and life, because it doesn't make YOU happy.” I tell him. I wonder if he is even listening to me. 

 

“I have to go, and I think it’s time for me to look for a new place. I think I stayed too long already, any longer and we might not be friends anymore.” I tell him. 

 

“Emmett, how can you say that?” Michael asks me. 

 

“I don’t like the person your becoming.” I tell him. 

 

“Well, I don’t like that my friends seem to be turning their backs on me. I’ve been there for all of you, listened to you cry over men, let you move in with me and it's like everyone forgets what I did.” Michael tells me. 

 

“How could we forget? You remind us all the fucking time.” I'm done.

 

BRIAN 

 

Marilyn was waiting for me, when Ted and I got back from meeting Eyeconics.

 

“Turn on your phone.” She tells me. Shit I forgot.

 

“Something going on?” I ask her. 

 

“Craig tried to ship Justin off to conversation therapy, came armed with two assholes, who were going to shove him in a van, and take off to parts unknown.” She calmly tells me.

 

“Is he all right?” Ted asks her.

 

“Thanks to Daphne and some books.” She tells us. 

 

“Ted, I'll be back.” I tell him, turning to go to be with Justin. 

 

“Stay here, Justin is on his way, with Jen.” She tells us. 

 

I don’t want to wait, I want to kill Craig.

 

“That’s why you need to stay here. Jen just kicked the asshole to the curb. Justin is fine, calm down.” She tells me. 

 

I hear Daphne first.

 

“I couldn’t believe it when the other kids started throwing books. I was starting to worry when I ran out.” Daphne tells Justin. 

 

“Why were you throwing them?” He asks her.

 

“It was in my hand.” She tells him. 

 

I yank Justin to me and pull him into my arms. “Are you alright?” I ask him. 

 

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting it.” He whispers to me.

 

“I couldn’t believe it. Craig talked to me about it, and I told him no. Deb told me about those places, how could Craig think I wouldn't fight him?” Jen tells me. 

 

“Are we going to have to hide Justin?” I ask Marilyn. 

 

“No, Craig thinks threatening to divorce Jen will get her to throw Justin out of their lives. When they divorce, he decides Justin isn’t his problem anymore.” She tells me. 

 

“How do you know Craig told me he wanted a divorce?” Jen asks Marilyn. Good question Jen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRIAN

 

I wait to see what Marilyn is going to tell Jen. I don’t think Mother Taylor needs to know everything.

 

“Are you planning on going back to a man who would try to send your son to one of those places?” She tell her.

 

“No, but…” Marilyn interrupts her.

 

“Well the only other option is divorce.” Marilyn tells her.

 

“Jen, make sure to get a good lawyer. Craig isn’t going to want to help you.” I tell her.

 

“Mom, make sure that Dad has to put money away for Molly’s college.” Justin tells her.

 

“Honey, he wouldn’t refuse to support you and Molly.” She still hasn’t grasped what Craig is like.

 

“Don’t worry about me, Brian and I worked out college. Dad is going to try to make it hard for you to support Molly.” Justin tells her.

 

“Justin, we put aside money for you and Molly to go to college. We started putting money aside when you were born, it’s in an account in your names, with me and your father on them.” She tells us. What happened to those accounts? Justin never saw a dime.

 

“Jen, you're on the accounts?” I ask her.

 

“Yes, both Craig and I, until the kids reach eighteen.” She tells me.

 

“Can you withdraw from the accounts, without penalty?” Ted asks her.

 

“They were just regular savings accounts. I put in my inheritance from my grandfather. Craig put money in there regularly. It’s not huge, but would have seen Justin through Dartmouth.” Jen tells us.

 

“Jen, get the money out of those accounts right away. Craig could do it, and leave nothing for Justin and Molly.” I tell her. I never could figure out how such responsible parents never thought to save for their kids futures. 

 

“Do you really think he would take the money?” Jen asks me.

 

“Mom, Dad isn’t going to be happy when you don’t go home and play the obedient wife.” Justin tells her.

 

“I could go ahead and put the money in an account for you, Justin.” She tells me.

 

“Jen, I already put aside money for Justin. Use the money in his account to get you and Molly out from under Craig.” I tell her. 

 

“It’s for Justin, I wouldn’t feel right taking it.” She tells me.

 

“Mom, I don’t want you to have to worry about how you're going to take care of Molly. Take the money, I’m working for Brian and we worked out a schedule so that I’m paying for my college. I don’t plan on going to Dartmouth, so it’s not going to be as expensive.” Justin tells her.

 

“Oh God, I’m about to end my marriage.” It must have really just hit her.

 

“You are about to end a farce. You should never have let Dad turn you into a housewife. You were always saying you wanted a career. With the money from my account you could go and get a Real Estate License, like you want.” Justin tells her.

 

“Should I go and get the money out now?” She asks me.

 

“Take Ted with you, he can help keep you from doing something that will alert Craig.” I tell her.

 

Ted grabs his things and ushers Jen out the door. Daphne was sitting in a chair spinning around. When Jen walked out, she stopped and looked directly at Marilyn.

 

“So how did you know Craig threatened Jen with a divorce?” She asks Marilyn.

 

“It’s what someone like him would do.” Marilyn starts to look warily at Daphne.

 

“If you knew him, I’d say you were right, but since you don’t…, try again and this time make it more convincing.” Daphne tells her.

 

“Justin and Marilyn talked about parents who can’t accept their children.” I try, but this girl’s IQ and Justin’s are the same.

 

“Brian, do I look stupid? You do understand that if Justin had a confidant other than me, he would have told me about it. Since I’ve never heard of you Marilyn, I doubt Justin confided in you.” She tells us.

 

“Jesus, I should have been watching you. You could run the world one day.” Marilyn tells Daphne.

 

“I could, but I’ll leave that up to the fakes and liars, I want to do something to help people. Want to tell me why you are predicting Craig is going to leave Justin alone. How about you tell me Brian, why you looked surprised when Jen mentioned Justin’s college fund? Justin, how come you are suddenly giving your mother advice on how to get out of her marriage without losing her shirt? Brian, you practically told her that Craig is going fuck her over. Unlike Jen, I’m not worried about my marriage, or Craig trying to fuck over Justin, so I heard you, even if she didn’t.” Daphne questions us all.

 

I look to Justin. I’m not even going to try to outsmart her, she’d have me for lunch. He shrugs. 

 

“Brian and I came back from another future to relive our life.” Justin tells her. 

 

“Yeah, pull my other finger. I’m going to get home, come up with something better. Later.” She walks out of the building. 

 

I turn and ask Justin, “Why didn’t she ask you anything?” Everybody else has.

 

“She’s a scientist, they only believe in what they can prove. Plus, she doesn't care, as long as I'm okay.” Justin tells me.

 

“She will eventually question it, but in her case she doesn’t need the whole truth to defend her best friend. Let her live her life the way she is going to.” Marilyn tells us.

 

“Well, now that we got all that out of the way, care to tell me why you didn’t warn us about Craig?” I glare at her.

 

“Jen needed to see Craig wasn’t going to love her son. Justin was fine.” She tells me.

 

“Only because I don’t trust the bastard.” Justin tells her.

 

“If there was a chance you were going to be hurt, I wouldn’t have left you and Brian in the dark.” She tells us.

 

“I don’t fucking care if he was okay, you tell us shit like this. It never happened the last time.” I tell her.

 

“Craig was scared to touch Justin after he crashed into your Jeep and tried to beat the shit out of you in front of half of Babylon. Now that there is nothing to keep him from possible jail or a lawsuit, he had time to think up other ideas. Do you honestly think he could only come up with military school?” She tells us.

 

“Any other crazy ideas he has, you don’t hold back, for any reason.” I tell her.

 

“Um, not that Craig isn’t important, but what about Michael?” Justin asks her.

 

“Brian throw the party. With Emmett moving out, Michael is going to need someone to take care of him. David is going to come, because he hasn’t given up completely on having a twink to take care of his home. Just don’t turn the party into Astroland and Michael will show David he should take a chance on him.” She tells us.

 

“David doesn’t seem tolerant of Michael’s tantrums.” Justin tells her.

 

“David was married to a debutant, he sees Michael as something to mold. His only reservation is that Michael is in love with Brian. Let David see Michael willing to do anything for him and off to Portland he goes.” She tells us.

 

TED

 

Jen is still in shock about everything that happened today. Justin told me that his father tried to make it his fault the marriage ended, but Jen is blaming Craig.

 

“Do you think I was naive to believe that you love your kids no matter what?” She asks me in the car.

 

“No. If I had children, I would hope my partner could love them no matter what.” I tell her.

 

“I can’t even say I’m surprised any longer, Justin told me what Craig was going to do. I didn’t want to believe that the man I married could be such a jackass. Oh sorry, I shouldn’t have been so crass.” She blushes.

 

“Jen, if you're going to hang out with us, get used to hearing all sorts of shit.” I tell her.

 

“I think I got the idea at the party. Has Lindsay returned?” She asks me.

 

“No, Lindsay runs away when people don’t kiss her ass.” I tell her.

 

“What about Gus? He’s not even six months yet, wasn’t she breast feeding him?” This is what I get for talking to women.

 

“I’m not sure, maybe talk to Mel? Right now, Brian isn’t happy that Gus is in daycare.” I tell her.

 

“I don’t blame him, Gus loses bonding time by staying with strangers. Do you think they would let me help them? I could take night courses and Mel and Brian could keep Molly in exchange.” She asks me.

 

“Talk to them, I think they would love someone in the family helping.” I tell her. 

 

We pull up to the bank and I tell Jen we are going to pull out all but a hundred dollars in each account. I want there to be money left, because the bank has to contact Craig if we close the accounts. I was glad she banked at Brian’s bank, it makes doing this easier. I see Elaine, my personal banker, and steer Jen to her.

 

“Ted, it’s great to see you. I heard about you starting a new business. Congratulations.” She tells me.

 

“Thanks, it’s been an exciting new experience. Actually, we are here because Jen needs to change some accounts, her husband is divorcing her and she wants to safeguard her children’s college funds.” I tell Elaine.

 

“If we close the accounts, we have to contact your husband.” Elaine tells Jen.

 

“Ted suggested leaving money in the account, but moving most of it into a new account.” Jen tells her.

 

“Elaine, her husband is going to try to take her to the cleaners. We want her to be able to support herself, and for her kids to be able to go to college, without them having to struggle.” I tell her.

 

“Are you on all the accounts your husband has?” She asks Jen.

 

“I should be.” She tells Elaine.

 

“How bad do you want to screw your husband?” Oh God, I forgot Elaine’s ex left her high and dry.

 

“I just want my children taken care of.” Jen tells her.

 

“Honey, take care of yourself too. He can leave you barely able to take care of yourself, unless you strike first.” She tells Jen.

 

“Elaine, we wanted to leave a hundred in each account and put the rest in an account with only Jen’s name on it.” I tell her. 

 

“We can leave five dollars, it’s all the account requires.” She tells us after looking at the account information.

 

“Jen, why did you and Craig put the money in regular savings accounts?” I don’t get it, the interest isn't that great.

 

“Craig wanted to be able to access the money if we ran into problems. Truthfully, I wasn’t really worried about it when we started Justin’s account, we were happy.” She tells me.

 

“Honey, the time to worry is while you're still happy.” She tells me. 

 

“Ted, would you be willing to oversee the accounts?” Jen asks me. 

 

“I could offer you advice.” I tell her. I mean, she really doesn’t know me.

 

“I want the money out of Craig’s reach, if I put you on the account with Justin and I having access, he couldn’t try to recoup it, could he?” She asks me.

 

“If it’s in my name, no, because it is no longer your money. Jen, I’ll do it if you want, but that’s a lot of faith to put in someone you don’t know. I could run off with the money.” I tell her.

 

“Brian is trusting you with his future, you must have done something to get that kind of faith.” She tells me. I never thought of it that way.

 

“If we're going to do this, you are going to learn how to invest, I want you to know what’s happening and why we are doing things. You aren’t going to take a backseat in your life any more than I am in mine.” I tell her.

 

“Deal.” She tells me.

 

JUSTIN

 

Emmett was at the end of his rope with Michael. He wanted to see if Ted would let him stay at his place. Ted was still helping my mom, so I figure Emmett and I could go do something, because Brian wasn’t handling the kidnapping attempt well.

 

“Emmett, why don't we let Brian work and go do something.” I tell him. 

 

“Baby, it's too early to dance our troubles away.” He tells me.

 

I think it’s time for Emmett to meet his future.

 

“I wanted to go look at Carnegie, they are having a career day. I wanted to look at the school Andy Warhol went too.” I tell him. 

 

“No messing with Ben.” Brian tells me. 

 

“We can look at the eye candy, if he ends up with Michael it's such a waste of hotness.” Emmett tells him. 

 

“Just don’t do anything that is going to change too much, Justin’s kidnapping attempt worries me.” Brian tells him. 

 

“WHAT? Who tried to steal our baby?” Great, thanks Brian.

 

“He’s MY baby, remember that. And I’ll let Justin explain that to you, have fun now..” I’ll get him for this.

 

“Start talking, because I need to know.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Let’s go and I’ll tell you on the way.” I scowl at a smirking Brian. At least he isn’t pissed enough to go after my sperm donor.

 

EMMETT

 

You know, when Baby has an idea, it’s definitely worth doing. We were standing next to the football field watching some seriously fine asses.

 

“Not that I don’t appreciate the view, but why are we here? I thought you wanted to look at the art school here.” I ask him.

 

“Like I didn’t already do that. I wanted you to see your Ironman.” Justin tells me.

 

“Which one is my future honey?” I ask him.

 

“The quarterback, Drew Boyd.” Justin tells me.

 

“You mean the one kissing the blonde bimbo?” I ask him.

 

“Yes, but he doesn’t think he’s gay, just that he likes a little ass on the side, you know, gay ass.” Justin tells me.

 

“I put up with this?” I ask him.

 

“You eventually tell him to shit or get off the pot, he gets off the pot. It’s still years, according to Brian, before you two get your shit together. I wasn’t here for that.” Justin tells me.

 

I sometimes forget that Justin didn’t live to see what happened.

 

“Well, you're going to be this time, maybe it will work out differently.” I tell him. 

 

“Enjoying the view?” We hear from behind us.

 

“Shit.” Justin says silently, as Ben walks over to us.

 

“We were just touring the campus.” I tell Ben.

 

“Are you interested in going here?” He asks Justin.

 

“It’s one of the colleges I’m considering.” Justin tells him.

 

“No PIFA. Being an artist, I think it’s a good bet.” I tell Justin.

 

“You're an artist, you know Andy Warhol went to this school.” Ben tells us. Way to campaign for students.

 

“What do you do here?” I ask, even though we know.

 

“I teach gay studies. If you have time I could show you around, my name is Ben Bruckner.” He tells us.

 

“Justin Taylor and Emmett Honeycutt at your service.” I tell him.

 

“We were about to go, maybe some other time?” Justin tells him.

 

“How about I give you my number? We could meet and discuss your future, maybe I can convince you to give the college a try.” Ben smiles a little too much at Justin.

 

 “I’ll talk to my boyfriend about it, and if Brian thinks it’s a good idea, we’ll call.” Justin couldn’t make it any plainer.

 

“Do that, I think you’ll be happy to choose Carnegie.” Ben took the hint and starts walking toward other people.

 

“Was he hitting on you?” I ask Justin.

 

“It sure felt like it, but Ben was always so boring, great to look at, but well, he wasn’t Brian.” Justin tells me.

 

“How the hell did Michael manage to land him?” I really want to know.

 

“It’s the mystery of the ages, I never got it.” He tells me.

 

“All that hotness wasted on the whiny bastard.” I say, shaking my head. I guess I’m still pissy about Michael.

 

Justin nodded and turned back to look at the football field. I was still watching Ben walk away, damn the man is fine. 

 

“Emmett, look out.” Justin tells me.

 

I turn in time to catch a football. I’m so glad the rednecks taught me something in Hazelhurst. I was standing there with the ball still in my hand.

 

“Look Baby, I caught it.” I tell him 

 

“Yeah, but look who’s coming to get it.” Justin tells me. Holy shit, I get THIS later.

 

“Hey, can we get the ball back?” Drew Boyd asks me.

 

“Oh, yeah, here you go.” I toss him the ball.

 

He looks me up and down and gives me a look I remember from my hometown. I watch as he walks away and starts making out with the barbie. 

 

“Emmett, he isn’t going to be with you for a few more years, remember that, before you flame out right here on the football field.” Justin tells me.

 

“Well, I hope he plans to work for it, because I’m not going to make it easy this time.” I tell Justin.

 

“Good, because I don’t want you to have to deal with his indecision. You let him get away with anything.” Justin tells me.

 

I don’t care what Marilyn says, Justin and Brian are right, following the same path leads to the same results. I don’t want to waste time on bad decisions.