June 18, 1959:

The little boy was being taken to the circus for his fifth birthday and he could hardly contain himself. He loved the glitter and sawdust. The sparkling costumes dazzled him and the joyous music made him want to get out of his seat to dance up and down the line of chairs. His mother, a lovely-looking blonde lady who resembled the tow-headed boy to a tee, did her best to calm the youngster down but to no avail. The excitement in the air was too invigorating for the child. He loved it all...the clowns, the lion tamers, the acrobats, the elephants, but nothing on earth more than when the troupe of trapeze artists marched out into the ring. 
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Justin, as his mother called him, came to a dead stop as he watched the three men and single woman climbing ever upward to the top of the tent. One man reached a swing nearly at the end of the netting below them and settled down onto the narrow perch. The other three performers climbed up to a wide pedestal where another swing was tethered waiting for its first rider. The lights dimmed and young Justin's mouth gaped open wide as his eyes drank in the sparkling lights that danced off the performer's costumes from the spotlights that illuminated only them. A gasp of pure pleasure escaped the youth as he watched the first man pull the swing back and then launch himself into outer space. 
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For the next twenty minutes or so young Justin never let his eyes wander from the breathtaking sight of men soaring through the air and flipping head over heels, being caught just in the nick of time by a tightly-muscled man who seemed totally in charge and without an ounce of fear. The rest of the circus was almost anti-climactic for the child. He spent the entire half-hour of the ride home chattering on and on about the flying men on the trapeze. His mother was amused at her son's ramblings...his father indifferent. Justin didn't notice either of them. All he could think of was the colors, the bright lights, and beautiful people he had just seen. The happy memory would have to sustain him for many years to come. It was the last happy moment of his youth. 
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June 18, 1975: 
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Justin Taylor was turning twenty one on this very day, but he felt no special thrill about it. So what if he could drink legally now.....he'd been doing it since his early teens. It had been the one way he could tolerate living with his father. The old man hadn't even noticed his missing liquor from the bottles. He was drunk himself most of the time...not that Justin stayed drunk, but it helped to have a buzz going when his father started picking on him or became downright abusive after coming home from work. The only time Justin had any peace was on the weekends when his father would escape his own unhappy life by spending time with his cronies at a cabin retreat or on a 'business' trip with his latest personal assistant/girlfriend in tow. 
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Justin's mind drifted back to the one birthday that still clung to the edges of his memory. It was one of the few happy memories from his childhood. He had been treated with a trip to the circus by his mother, But every time he remembered how much he loved that day his mind would inevitably drift forward the few days it took before his whole life crashed around him into painful splinters that poked at the very core of his existance. That was the day his mother was killed in a car crash on her way to his school to pick him up from kindergarten class. It was the day that destroyed any future happy memories of his childhood that might have been. Justin would spend the next thirteen years under his father's ever-present dark shadow that kept any bright redeeming lights out of the young boy's life. 
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Justin had prayed for the day he could make his own way in the world. He had worked hard at Summer jobs and after school part-time jobs since early on. His father didn't care one way or the other and made that clear when Justin first asked if he could take a job after school at a local burger joint when he was sixteen. His father never even asked what Justin was doing with his money so he was completely unaware that his son was saving up to attend college at a local art academy. Craig Taylor had simply presumed his only child would attend a business school as he had done and then help his father in the family furniture and appliance business. He had never taken the time to find out if that future even interested the boy. 
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Justin graduated high school only weeks before his eighteenth birthday. He had been extremely relieved to get out of the claustrophobic atmosphere of his upper class private school where the athletes and snobbish cliques dominated every waking moment of the student body's school days. Even the majority of the teachers acted like they were better than other people simply by virtue of their St. James Academy credentials. There was little room for diversity at the school or among its inhabitants and Justin never did fit in with his artistic leanings and independent thinking. He had very few friends throughout the years outside of one young lady that lived right next door named Daphne Chanders. 
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This had been another red flag for many of his classmates. Justin hung around with Daphne but there had never been a hint of a romance between them. Outside of Daphne, Justin never showed an interest in any of the girls. It was like waving a red flag in front of an angry bull. Although Justin had never made any overt moves or uttered any statements that indicated he was interested in boys rather than girls, it became a running joke among the jocks and others that Justin was the token gay boy at St. James. Justin had never denied nor confirmed the rumors, but simply endured the teasing and harrassment with an eye towards the day he could say good-bye forever to the place and all who dwelled there. 
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His father had not even shown up for his graduation ceremony. He had an 'urgent' business appointment out of town that week. He had gotten back just in time to have one final blow-up with his son only a week before Justin's eighteenth birthday. Craig Taylor had simply asked Justin which University he was going to attend. When Justin announced that it would be a small art academy in town Craig let loose a torrent of abusive rhetoric about ungrateful sons who didn't appreciate the hard work a father went through to provide a future legacy for their only child. He ranted on and on with attempts to guilt Justin into accepting his responsibilities for continuing the family tradition of running the business that had been in the family for three generations already. 
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Justin had been implacable in his refusal to bend to his father's wishes. He stood his ground for the first and last time with the man who had been a constant source of misery from his earliest memories. By the end of the day Justin was out of his childhood home and sleeping in the guest room at Daphne's house. A week later he and Daphne found a tiny two-bedroom apartment close to both the University she would attend and the art academy he would attend come Fall. With the help of Daphne's parents, the couple settled in and celebrated Justin's birthday in their new home. It was a sad little affair with Daphne providing a mini cake with the number '18' drawn in sweet icing over the top and two candles stuck in the middle, one in the shape of a one and another in the shape of an eight. Justin blew out his candles and kept his fondest wish a secret so that it might come true some day. 
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That first Summer on his own was a busy one for Justin. He had been accepted by the art academy but his father refused to foot the bill and he couldn't get a scholorship because of his father's earnings. Justin had enough money saved for the first year just as he had planned for some time while working during his teen years, but he still had to be conservative. He didn't want to lean too much on Daphne's parents, so he continued working at the diner job he had gotten a few months earlier which offered him some decent tips on a good day as a waiter/busboy. 
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Once classes started at their different schools, he and Daphne settled into a routine that fit both their schedules and their temperaments. They studied a lot but had little of what could be called a social life. They were too busy, or so they told themselves. Daphne finally found a young man who not only enjoyed her company but didn't resent the young man who lived with her. At the end of his second school year Justin finally met another student who he believed was the answer to his eighteenth birthday wish. He lived the dream for just barely a year. 
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Ethan Gold was a volatile violinist whose family had emigrated to America during the war in Europe. His grandfather had been a renowned violinist throughout Europe and encouraged his grandson to be the best. The two young men met during a small on-campus concert which featured Ethan and their attraction was instantaneous. Ethan's family came from money and within weeks Justin had moved into Ethan's large apartment. Justin had wished for someone who would love him unconditionally and give him the support that he had not gotten at home since his mother's death. He was sure he had found all that in Ethan. He might have continued to live the fantasy he had created in his mind and avoided the warning signals that kept popping up concerning Ethan's possessiveness and controlling behavior but for an incident right around their first anniversary which made it impossible to avoid what was staring him in the face all along. 
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Justin had gotten used to Ethan's jealous nature. At first he had been flattered, telling himself that Ethan loved him so much he just didn't want to share one minute of his boyfriend's time with anyone else. Justin had little in the way of example as to what a healthy relationship between couples was all about. He was just grateful that someone seemed to care about him. He craved it after starving from lack of care for so long. He had learned how to avoid Ethan when he went into one of his less than attractive moods, just as he had done with his father. Somehow he had survived the bad times with Ethan, devouring the good times as if they were all that mattered, even though they were becoming fewer and farther between as the year progressed. A couple of weeks before Justin's twenty-first birthday was the day that woke Justin up and served as the proverbial last straw. 
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Ethan had received the opportunity of a lifetime when he was entered in a musical contest being held in Philadelphia that would lend him a great deal of prestige if he won. He was extremely irritated that Justin had been unable to go with him after his boss refused to give him time off. Ethan never hid the fact that it bothered him that Justin continued to work and pay his own way even though Ethan had wanted to support him and was certainly capable of it, thanks to his family's money. Justin's job was important to him. He still had his fourth and final year at the academy to pay for and not nearly enough money saved up for the classes yet. 
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Ethan had called Justin repeatedly while he was gone for the two days and somehow kept missing him. By the time he arrived home at their apartment he was in a mood far more foul than ever before. He had not done near as well against his competitors as he had expected and Ethan never handled losing well. On top of that he hadn't spoken to his boyfriend once while gone. The second day in Philly he had even picked up a trick to soothe his ruffled feathers...a drooling young fan who liked the way he stroked his bow...and he deflected his guilty conscience onto Justin. He convinced himself that Justin was off cheating with some other guy despite the fact that the blond had never given him any reason not to trust him. It didn't help that he walked into his apartment and found Justin sitting on the couch with a rather striking young man whom Ethan had never met. 
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Somehow Ethan had controlled his raging temper just until Justin escorted the stranger out the door. Justin was about to explain that the young man was a good friend of Daphne's and her boyfriend and the two of them were planning a party to celebrate the couple's recent engagement, but the words died in his throat as Ethan's fist connected to Justin's cheek for the very first time. Justin fell backward and lay sprawled on the lush carpeting in the living room. He was far too deep in shock to respond at first. Ethan had been verbally abusive for some time but Justin was used to that kind of treatment. He had lived with it most of his life. This was different. No one had ever hit him before. Even his own father had not gone that far. 

Justin rubbed at the tender spot where his jawbone ached from the force of the blow. It already felt swollen. It took a moment for Justin to realize that Ethan was pacing back and forth frantically in front of his legs and stopping only long enough to point down at the shocked young man. 
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"Why the fuck did you make me do that? Dammit Justin, you couldn't even stay faithful for two fucking days? I trusted you! I have a shit time trying to please a bunch of snobs with tin ears who prefer the screeching violin of some half-assed newcomer over my practiced work. Then I come home to find you nose to nose on my couch with some piece of shit pick-up! How do you think that makes me feel? I'm sorry I hit you but you provoked me! I at least thought I could trust you if no one else in this world," he ranted, barely taking time to even draw a full breath. 
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Justin continued to sit there on the floor and try to make sense of what had just happened. He couldn't decide how to react. What in the world had made Ethan think he was cheating? Justin's confusion rapidly turned to anger. How dare Ethan think that he had the right to lay a finger on him. In a matter of seconds Justin made up his mind. He rose quickly from the floor and faced Ethan down. 
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"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he shouted into Ethan's red face. "Jack and I were talking and nothing more. If you saw something else you'd better get your eyes examined." 
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He rubbed his jaw carefully again. The sharp pain reminded him he wasn't done yet. 
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"And while we're at it, when did I ever make you believe you could hit me and I would just roll over and take it? Is this your idea of what love is? If it is, then we are speaking different languages. I've put up with a lot of shit from you because I really wanted to believe that you truly loved me, but I know now it is crap. I'm not sure you know how to love anything or anyone as much as yourself! I'm outta here!" 
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With that, Justin headed for the front door. He turned as he reached it. The brief stop released Ethan from his frozen position. He rushed over and grabbed Justin's arm. 
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"Don't leave Justin. I'm really sorry. I just had a really bad time missing you and dealing with those crazy people in Philly. I truly didn't mean to do that," he begged. 
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He reached up for Justin's jaw, but the blond yanked his head back to avoid contact. 
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"Are you going to give me that cliche excuse that it was an accident and it will never happen again, cause if you are...don't bother. You're right if you say that however, because I'll never give you another chance to touch me like that again. Now let go of my arm. I'll get my things later. Good bye Ethan." 
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By now Justin was remarkably calm, at least on the outside. Justin yanked his arm free and opened the apartment door. He stepped out into the hallway. As he walked to the elevator he could hear Ethan behind him. 
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"Where do you think you'll go. You can't afford to live the way I've provided for you. You'll end up in another hole in the wall like you were in before I met you. No one really gives a damn about you except for me. You watch, you'll come crawling back and then I'll have to think about whether I want you or not." 
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That last sentence was barely heard by Justin as the door of the elevator slid silently closed. Shortly after, he ended up on the doorstep of his old apartment. Daphne and her live-in boyfriend, Ricky welcomed him in. Daphne finally felt free to admit that she had never really liked Ethan or the way he treated Justin, but had always kept her mouth shut as long as she thought her old friend was happy with the way things were. Justin promised to find a place of his own quickly but Daph and Ricky wouldn't hear of it, which was why Justin was sitting here in Daph's living room and trying to think of how to celebrate his twenty-first. Daph and Ricky had an earlier-planned visit out of town to visit his folks. The apartment was quiet and lonely. Outside of a birthday call from Daph a couple of hours earlier, Justin didn't feel there was anything special about this day. 
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Justin took another gulp of coffee and perused the morning paper. He flipped open the entertainment section in hopes of finding a good movie to watch. Anything was preferable to sitting around alone and praying that Ethan didn't show up on his doorstep again. The bastard had trouble letting go. He had figured out easily enough that Justin had turned to Daphne and once he knew where his ex was living he made repeated attempts to get Justin to change his mind and return to their apartment. Getting his things out of Ethan's place had even involved the police since the man had tried to keep Justin's few possessions hostage in return for Justin coming home to him. Ethan had been cautious enough, however, to stop just short of actual stalking so that Justin couldn't get a restraining order. Justin was beginning to fear his final year at the academy since he knew Ethan still had one more year there too. He was seriously considering making some big changes in his life and putting some real distance between himself and Ethan. 
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As he browsed the ads for a good movie, Justin noticed a particularly colorful ad that drew his attention. It was for a traveling circus and the ad featured dancing girls on the backs of horses, lions snarling at a colorfully-dressed man with a whip in hand, elephants parading with girls hanging from their trunks, and a troupe of flyers in mid air as they flew from one trapeze swing to another and into the waiting hands of another flyer. The costumes were filled with sparkles and dazzling colors. It was an omen. He had just been thinking about the last time he saw a circus. Why not go again, he asked himself? His life had changed right after that last circus visit. Maybe it would happen again, only this time for the better. Heaven knew life couldn't get much worse. He was at a crossroads and maybe this would be the start of something good. 
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In an instant, Justin made up his mind. He checked the address of the site where the circus tents had been erected. He didn't own a car so he called for a cab. Thirty minutes later Justin was on his way to the circus grounds. The show itself was still a couple of hours away but there were sideshows and rides available. Justin would take this opportunity to relive his last truly happy and innocent memory. After that he would worry about his future. 
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He had no way of knowing that his future was already on the circus grounds and in an explosive argument at that very moment. Justin's fate lay in the strong, slender fingers of a man who was about to make a decision that would change Justin's world all over again, just as his world had changed right after that last circus visit so many years ago. If the tall, sinewy man with the chestnut-brown hair and penetrating hazel eyes had known what was coming, he might have had a different argument with the man who had riled his temper, but he would live and learn. His life would be drastically altered on this day too.

To be continued..............    

The attractive brunet gave the dark-haired shorter man one last look of pure disdain and pushed his way out of the makeshift office he had been standing in. The other man knew better than to pursue his friend when he got like this. Michael Novotny had known Brian Kinney for far too many years to not know when his friend was in no mood to be challenged. He had come into the circus office looking for the boss and found the boss's son instead. Normally Brian would have waited to talk to the boss, Debbie Novotny, but he was far too riled up right now to keep his anger in check. 

Brian Kinney was the star attraction of the Novotny Family Circus, and he carried a lot of clout with the owners. Normally he didn't make a habit of throwing his weight around, but he felt his life and the lives of his troupe were at risk. This was thanks to the new flyer they had hired after the previous guy had been injured in an accidental fall when the net failed to hold at one end. One accident was enough for a season, as far as Brian was concerned. He had come to the office to demand that they fire the new flyer and find a replacement. Michael, who really didn't have the final say anyway, had balked at the idea of trying to find a replacement this late in the season. That was the reason for the loud arguing. Michael's attempts to calm his star aerialist fell on deaf ears, and he watched helplessly as Brian stormed out of the office after not getting the answers he wanted to hear. Michael knew that Brian was too much of a trouper to cancel performing on this night, but he had no way of knowing how the pissed-off trapeze artist would handle the situation.

Brian made his way back to his trailer/dressing room on the other side of the main tent. He passed a number of fellow performers in various states of dress and avoided glancing up at any of them. They knew better than to speak to him when he was obviously distracted. Brian was normally a very happy guy who got along with almost everyone, but he did have a temper when something was bothering him. Something was obviously bothering him now. They let him pass without comment. Brian hurried on. He still had a couple of hours left before the show started and he needed to get ready. Normally he had everything timed perfectly but tonight he needed extra time to meet with his fellow flyers. One of them was in for an unpleasant surprise.

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Brian Kinney hadn't been born to the circus. In fact, he had come from a blue-collar family who stuck their noses up at entertainers of any kind, unless of course it was his father singing loudly and drunkenly at the local bar in town with his father's cronies cheering him on. His mother did all of her singing in church three times a week as she prayed for the lost souls of her husband and rebellious son. Rebellious was the perfect way to describe the maturing and strikingly handsome young brunet. He never felt like he fit in with his family, and that included his older sister who was like a clone of her mother. Brian had been athletic, much to his dad's delight...at least until he discovered that his son preferred gymnastics to football or other contact sports. In Jack Kinney's eyes those were manly sports, and his son's interest in gymnastics was a little too girly for his tastes. When Brian refused to give up his tumbling classes in order to join the school's football team, Jack gave up on his son. 

Over the years Brian discovered he had a natural affinity for acrobatics, especially when they involved being high in the air. His long, lanky and perfectly-toned body was capable of making all kinds of aerial moves flawlessly, and Brian finally felt he fit in somewhere. In no time he was the star gymnast at his school. As Brian entered high school, he discovered something else about himself, something that made him feel even more of an outcast in his own home. 

He had always been extremely attractive to the girls, but had never bothered to give any of them a second look. One day, at the age of fifteen, one of the other gymnastic students caught his eye. The problem was that it was an exchange student of the wrong sex. For the first time in his life Brian found himself thinking of something besides his passion for his artistry on the mat and in the air. He felt an overwhelming desire to touch the young man and feel his touch in return. The boy was from Sweden and as pale as Brian was dark. He had amazing green-gold eyes and the slim, athletic build that Brian had been secretly admiring for some time without hinting at it even to himself. 

One day the young man, Sven Angstrom, took an unexpected spill during a floor routine. His instructor called Brian over to help the young man to the nurse's office since he was tied up with another problem they were having at that moment. Sven's ankle was twisted, but the pain was only severe when he put his full weight on it. Brian threw the young man's arm around his shoulder and helped him to the nearby nurse's office. When they arrived she was absent, and a note stated she would be back shortly. Brian helped Sven into the waiting room and onto the small examining table. As Brian bent down to make it easier for Sven to slide his arm from around Brian's neck, their faces came within inches of each other.

For the first time in Brian's life he felt a sexual spark. To his utter delight, Sven must have felt it too, because suddenly the two boys were in a lip lock. There is no telling how long they might have stayed fused together at the mouth if they hadn't heard the sound of approaching footsteps from the hallway. They pulled apart rapidly, barely able to catch their breaths. Their faces turned a few shades of pink, but the nurse was so distracted by something else that she never noticed a thing. That day was the start of a whole new life for Brian. For almost three months after that he and Sven were inseparable. They practiced together in the gym during school hours and at a local sports arena nearby during the off school hours. Neither Brian's family nor Sven's adopted family ever suspected that not all absences were spent with sports activities, at least the kind of sport that one could indulge in with an audience. 

During their relationship, Brian learned that Sven had already had a previous boyfriend at home in Stockholm. Brian was an avid student of the many things Sven was able to teach him about the fun two boys could have together. Unfortunately for the couple, Sven received news of a medical emergency with his father back home. The family needed him to return, as he was the oldest son. He was Brian's first crush and it hurt to say good bye, but after his young lover left for home Brian threw himself into his athletics and gave little thought to anything else. Within weeks Brian realized that he really didn't miss Sven near as much as he did the games they played. By the time Brian hit seventeen he had discovered that there were plenty of other men out there that he could have just as much fun with. He never did find anyone, however, that he felt like keeping around for very long.

For Brian, his career became his all-consuming passion. It was strictly by accident that he ended up with the 'Novotny Family Circus' over a decade ago. By the time Brian was in his final year of high school, he was given the opportunity to try out for the 1960 Summer Olympics to be held in Rome. He wanted it so badly it was like an aching need inside him, then disaster struck. While practicing on the rings, Brian lost his concentration for that one split second that makes all the difference. He lost his grip as he did a somersault, and fell. Normally he would have been alright when he fell onto the pad but he landed in the worst position possible and he heard, more than felt it, as a bone in his leg cracked. He looked like a pretzel as he lay in pain on the old mat that hadn't absorbed as much of the impact as it should have. 

By the time Brian's leg was healed properly the Olympic teams were chosen, and he graduated without realizing his dream. Brian had moved out from his family home the minute he was able to. He lived temporarily with one of his old coaches while he decided whether to continue training hard for the next Olympic games in '64. When not at the gym, or at his job as a delivery boy for a local pharmacy, Brian could always be found frequenting one of the few gay bars in the city. He never had a problem picking up a trick for the night. It was at one of these late night forays that he met young Michael Novotny. 

Michael was a year older than Brian and lived the life of a tumbling tumbleweed. He was the only child of the owner of one of the small number of family circuses left in America. Most of the small traveling circuses had folded up their tents because of financial troubles caused by America's changing tastes in entertainment. Television and movies were by far the medium of choice for families now, and even the largest traveling circuses were struggling to hold on. The Novotny family had been in the business for five generations and Debbie Novotny, the heir after her husband's death when Michael was only two, refused to give up on the business. 

Michael had not proven to be much of an entertainer, but he was quite good with the business end of the enterprise. He filled in as best he could when one of the clowns or easier acts had a medical problem or other emergency, but for the most part he stayed behind the scenes and helped his mother and uncle to run the business. His Uncle Vic handled all the food services for the members of their circus family and customers. He could make shoe leather taste good. Michael worshiped his uncle, especially when he discovered Uncle Vic fooling around with Bernardo, one of the horse trainers with the circus. Michael had known for several years that he had feelings for men rather than women but had kept it to himself in fear of disappointing the family. Once he discovered his feelings were shared by his uncle, he had someone to confide in at last. It was then that he also discovered that his mother had suspected her son was just like her brother, and life became much easier for the young man after that. 

It was with his mother's blessing that Michael and Vic would seek out any gay bars they could find wherever they were playing. Occasionally there were none to be found, but mostly a spot was always available. So far they had been lucky and never found themselves in a dangerous or compromising position. They looked out for each other. That was why the two men were at 'Buddies', a popular gay bar at their next stop on this year's tour. Brian was there too. Brian had noticed the younger and older men who looked so much alike but hadn't made a move to chat with them at first. The younger man looked to be his age, but wasn't built the way Brian preferred, or with a look that Brian favored. 

Actually there had been no fellow who stood out for Brian on this warm Summer night, so he simply circulated the room in the hopes that a good prospect would step through the doors before the night was over. Eventually Brian ended up sharing a beer at the bar with the young man who introduced himself as Michael. Two hours later Brian realized he felt comfortable with both of the newcomers. Conversation eventually got around to why Brian had never seen the men before, and he found himself fascinated by their tales of life in the circus. Brian had never once considered a career in the entertainment field. His goal had always been to pursue a career as a coach of gymnastics, but suddenly the idea of getting out of his hometown and seeing a lot more of the world, on top of meeting new faces, became quite appealing. When his newfound friend suggested Brian come to the circus grounds for an early dinner the next day so that he could meet the matriarch of the family, Brian decided he had nothing to lose.

That had been the beginning of a devoted friendship. Debbie Novotny took to Brian immediately. There was something bold and daring about the young man that Debbie recognized and admired. She could tell her son had developed his first real crush, even in so short a time. There were a few other gay members of the circus family but not much for her son to choose from, and Debbie had long worried that her son would never find someone to love. When Michael suggested she hire Brian to join the tumbling act, which had just lost one member to retirement before the new Season had begun, Debbie was willing to give Brian a chance to show his stuff. By the end of the day life had changed forever for all concerned. Brian took the job on a lark and left town one week later when the circus pulled up stakes and moved on to its next venue. Brian never even said good bye to his family.

The first year had been a learning curve for young Brian. He became aware of the many differences between performing for entertainment and performing for competitive sports. He was a quick learner and his affable personality made it easy for him to fit in with the other performers. Before long he was an integral part of more than one act involving tumbling and trampolining, but his first love was still off the ground. Brian spent countless hours watching the high wire act and the trapeze artists. After the leader of the trapeze troupe caught him practicing in the air one evening, the much older man took Brian under his wing and spent the next year teaching the younger man all the finer points of trapeze artistry. 

Brian was hooked. He felt an unbelievably strong sense of freedom as he flew in the air, being caught by Antony, the leader of the troupe. By the third year that Brian was with the circus it became apparent that Antony was ready for retirement. Arthritis, the deadliest of all possibilities for a catcher, had set in on the older man's joints and it was becoming less safe for him to perform his duties with the act. The other members of the act had willingly bowed to Antony's decision to let Brian take his place as catcher. Thus it had remained for almost a decade now. 

Brian and Michael's friendship had grown over the years, and it was impossible to miss the open adoration that Michael felt for Brian, but it was also obvious that the feeling wasn't totally mutual. Brian felt a debt of gratitude to Michael and his family for letting him into their world, which was the first time that Brian felt accepted by everyone around him, but he felt a brotherly love for Michael and simply wasn't able to feel anything else. The truth was that Brian had never felt anything even remotely romantic for any man. He wasn't even sure he could feel such a thing as love for anyone. He had seen what love, or at least so-called love, could end up as with a couple, and Brian wanted nothing to do with it. He was simply happy to get his physical needs met whenever and wherever he could, many times with Michael in tow. 

That was the state of affairs with trapeze star Brian Kinney on this day that would change his life forever, but he would not realize it or even face up to it right away. It snuck up on him when he wasn't even looking.

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Brian hurriedly finished slipping on his tights and checking himself in the full-length mirror. Even he was impressed by what he saw. The costume he wore was a vivid purple with electric blue streaks of lightning shot through it. There were gold sparkles down the side of each perfectly-muscled leg and outlining the lightning bolts on the body hugging shirt. Brian patted the impressive bulge inside his athletic cup. He liked the way his costumes always brought out his best features. Obviously the audience, or at least the ladies in the audience, did too. They always swarmed him for autographs after the show while they ignored many of the other performers exiting the tent. If there were any men or boys who were attracted to the aerialist....and Brian knew there had to be on many occasions....he never saw them being so bold.

Now that he was dressed it was time to meet with the other members of his flying troupe. They were two other men and two young ladies. The girls, Lisa and Anna, were sisters who had been with the circus since early childhood. The death of their parents in a car accident when they were in their teens only derailed their career until they were able to graduate from high school and be released from the constraints of the foster home they had been living in. One of the men was an eight year veteran named Robbie. Brian had a great deal of respect for his talent and professionalism. The other, Kip Thompson was new to the troupe, replacing Robbie's uncle after his debilitating accident. Kip came with a few references, but Brian suspected some of them may have been overblown for whatever reason because the kid was careless and prone to ignore good advice. A near accident when he and Lisa were doing a switchover flying sequence in mid air, which wouldn't have happened if Kip hadn't used poor timing in launching himself from the bar, was the last straw. Brian had no intention of flying with the kid again.

Brian completed his look and hurried out of his trailer. All the trailers were parked in the back of the tent, but Brian could hear the musicians tuning up inside and the loud noises of customers and staff at the stands set up throughout the front area of the main tent. He was in a big hurry to meet up with the troupe and pass on his decision, while still leaving time to make a last inspection of the rigging, which was always his custom. He was moving quickly towards the back of the tent with his head down and didn't see the young man right in front of him with his back turned to Brian. Brian's momentum knocked the person down and he stumbled over him, barely missing falling to the ground himself. 

Brian righted himself using his agility and turned around to face the party on the ground, curse words forming at their carelessness for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Before he could utter a word he found himself staring into the startled eyes of the cutest young man he had ever seen. The boy couldn't have been any older than his late teens, and he had the clearest sky-blue eyes Brian had ever seen. Brian instinctively reached down to give the kid a hand up. The young man stared at the hand as if it was a snake about to bite him, but then realized the man who had knocked him over was offering to help. The young man put out his hand and Brian easily pulled the slight figure to his feet. 

"I...I'm sorry," the beautiful blond stammered. "I probably shouldn't be back here, but I'm afraid my curiosity got the better of me and I started exploring. I realized that this area wasn't meant for the patrons and was going back to the front. I didn't mean to get in your way. I really am sorry. I can see you're with the circus. I hope I didn't cause you any problems....."

Brian looked at his costume and laughed for the first time all day. 

"Don't worry about it kid. I've been in far worse collisions than this in my time, but you are right. You don't belong back here. Are you okay? I guess I should have been paying better attention to where I was going, so it is partly my fault."

Brian suddenly realized he was still holding onto the blond's hand. He pulled his hand away and stepped back. 

"Well kid, I've got to get to work. We've got a show to put on you know. I hope you enjoy it."

"Oh I'm sure I will. I've always loved the circus. I look forward to your act, whatever that is."

For some odd reason Brian continued to stand there for several more seconds as if he was reluctant to part from this total stranger, but then he remembered why he was in such a hurry in the first place, which caused this unfortunate collision. He turned away from the blond and began to walk away towards the back entrance to the big tent. He threw parting words over his shoulder.

"If you want to see my act, keep your eyes skyward. That's where you'll find me."

Brian barely caught the kids last words as he reached the tent.

"I will. Thanks."

And then he was gone.

To be continued...........................................

The show had been spectacular. All the lights, the sparkle, and the excitement had given Justin a rush he hadn't felt in a long time. For those brief couple of hours Justin was able to forget how unsettled his life had become....how insecure the future felt. He was dazzled by the fun and excitement he could feel all around him as performers dealt with wild animals, and human beings made their bodies do things he couldn't imagine doing himself. Of all the acts, it was the trapeze artists that enthralled the young artist the most. 

Justin recognized the lead aerialist the moment he saw him walk out with the other members of his troupe. He strode forward with his head held high, his arm raised heavenward, inviting the applause and whistles of the audience. He was simply gorgeous in his shiny purple costume with the blazing trails of bright blue and gold that hugged his taut body like a second skin. Justin, with his artistic eye, could see every muscle and sinew clearly defined through the stretched fabric despite the distance between them. It was a body that Justin already knew to be quite strong since he had been felled by it when they collided outside the tent before the show began. 

Justin could still feel the firm hand that the brunet had offered him in order to help him up from the ground after the collision. He had looked into the man's deep hazel eyes and something sparked inside himself. He had been a bit frightened by the man's gruffness when they first smacked into one another, but as the man's eyes seemed to soften once they were facing each other, Justin relaxed a little. As their eye contact continued for countless seconds, Justin felt a warmth and surprising comfort in the man's company. He had stammered out some inane comments, including an apology for being in the performer's way, but the man no longer seemed in such a hurry or agitated. All of a sudden, however, the brunet seemed to recall why he was in such a hurry in the first place and was soon on his way. Of course this was only after acknowledging that he was indeed part of the circus and inviting Justin to enjoy his performance.

Justin watched breathlessly, while absent-mindedly grabbing a handful of popcorn from the box in his lap, as the trapeze act moved forward to the center of the large ring. A wide net stretched just over their heads waiting to catch an errant flyer. The brunet moved off to the left alone to where a rope hung leading to the catcher's swing high in the air. The troupe also included two beautiful ladies that shot out brilliant sparks of purple and blue as the overhead lights bounced off their beaded costumes. The final member of their troupe was another well-toned man in a costume that matched the brunet's. From a distance Justin couldn't tell a lot about the man, but he moved gracefully, like someone who had been doing this job for many years. All three shimmied up their ropes until they reached the pedestal adjacent to where the brunet was slowly swinging in the air.

For the next twenty minutes or so, Justin drank in the sight of the beautiful people flying back and forth between catcher and pedestal, all the while performing dexterous single, double, and triple flips and crossovers with one another, all to the oohs and aahs of the audience below. Justin was impressed by the sure hands and strength that the catcher displayed in the way he caught each performer at just the precise moment he needed to. The act went off flawlessly. It ended with each performer taking their turn flying through the air and releasing the bar to fall to the net below, where they bounced a couple of times before coming to a stop. The handsome catcher was the last to fly out. He used a rope to gain momentum with his swing and then performed several flips over the bar before somersaulting to the waiting net. After coming to a halt, he righted himself just as he had outside the tent and took giant steps to the edge of the net. He flipped head over hand to land safely on the ground below. 

The audience roared its approval as all four performers lifted their hands together and took their bows, first to one side of the tent and then the other. Justin had a very good seat up close on the bottom row, so he could clearly see the performers from his vantage point. He saw the pride in the catcher's face as the audience clapped and whistled their appreciation. Justin clapped as hard as anyone. The music playing in the background suddenly changed and a group of clowns came running out, which apparently was a cue for the trapeze act to depart. They turned to head for the exit that they had entered earlier, and as they did Justin could have sworn he made eye contact with the catcher again. He told himself he was imagining it, but he was certain the man smiled at him. Wishful thinking, Justin told himself, and turned away as the troupe left through the exit. Justin spent the rest of the evening enjoying the few remaining acts that closed the show, but he never got the image of the flying man on the trapeze out of his head.

******************************************************************

Two days later Justin made a decision that changed his life forever. It all started when he came home from the circus on the night of his birthday. He was disappointed, but not surprised, to find a large bottle of very expensive champagne and a couple of dozen red roses sitting in front of the door to Daphne's apartment, where he was now staying. His head pivoted around as he scanned the hallway, praying he wouldn't set eyes on the one man he knew had left the gifts for him. He didn't even need to check out the fancy looking card attached to the flowers, but he did once he had reassured himself that Ethan was nowhere in sight. Sure enough the gifts were from his ex, and Justin was not happy about it one tiny bit. 

Ethan was still determined to woo Justin back into his life and his bed, and Justin was just as determined to never give the man another chance to abuse him. He finally had a clear picture as to who Ethan really was. He was a man who enjoyed owning things, and what his family money couldn't buy for him he felt he had the right to take. Once he thought he had something....or in Justin's case, someone....he had no intention of letting it...or him...go until he was good and ready. This invasion of Justin's privacy on his birthday was simply one more sign that the man wasn't letting go. Justin felt his anger rising as he kicked the gorgeous blooms away from the door. He would leave them there for some lucky tenant to find. As for the champagne, he brought the bottle inside and promptly opened it in order to pour every last drop down the kitchen sink. It was a shame to waste such an expensive and tasty vintage but he would rather choke to death than drink a drop. 

Justin tossed the bottle into the recyclable trash bin and popped open a can of Dr. Pepper instead. He carried the can to the kitchen table and pulled out his ticket stub for the circus. As he flipped it between his fingers, he sat back and re-lived all the highlights of his birthday night. That included his memory of the handsome flyer, and the way he had held onto his hand after pulling him up from the ground. Justin shook his head and admonished himself for fantasizing the way he was. He reminded himself that he wasn't some high school kid living in a dream world. In the real world, a young man like himself simply didn't stumble into love with a stranger, especially when that stranger was probably as straight as an arrow and living in a world far more glamorous than his own. 

Justin sat back up and reached for the morning paper that was still lying on the table. He decided he would cut out the advertisement that had drawn him to the circus show in the first place and keep it as a momento of his twenty-first birthday celebration. He found the ad right away and perused it, laughing as he remembered some of the clown acts he had watched. It was then that his eyes caught something he had missed the first time he had discovered the ad. In much smaller letters than the rest of the ad was a little 'help wanted' blurb right under the colorful pictures of the acts. Most people wouldn't even notice it. It was very simple and to the point. It simply read....

Help wanted: Jack of all trades, willing to take on any physical tasks but must have people skills too. Must be 18 years of age or older. Willing to work all hours...before, during, and after performances. Must be willing to travel. If interested contact the box office by bringing in your resume during business hours from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. except for weekends, due to matinee shows. 

For a few moments Justin thought about the fun he might have running away with the circus, but then he dismissed the notion as ridiculous. He had a good job right now and he needed to keep it. He still had a long way to go in order to make up the money he needed to pay for another year of art school. He still wasn't sure it was a good idea to go to the same school as Ethan but it didn't matter. Any school he chose to further his education would require more money than he had saved up at this time. Living with Ethan had been a mistake but at least he hadn't had any rent to pay and now he would have expenses that would eat up a lot of his earnings. Of course it was better to be poor and struggling than living with a man who treated him the way Ethan had. Justin tossed the paper aside and went to bed. The notion of working for the circus was discarded, and would have remained so if not for what happened the next night.

Daphne and Ricky were not due back for a few more days, so Justin went to work the next morning and then returned to the empty apartment. There were very little groceries in the house, and so he decided he would make a run to the supermarket to stock up. It was the least he could do for his friends for letting him stay in their home. Justin opened the door and all but collided with the dark figure that had his hand raised in the gesture of preparing to knock on the door. Justin jumped backwards and squeaked out his surprise. Ethan stood there with a wide grin on his face.

"Whoa there Sweetie, where's the fire?" Ethan laughed.

"There is no fire and I've told you before that I don't like you calling me Sweetie. It sounds ridiculous," Justin huffed, doing his best to contain his irritation.

"Why are you here Ethan?" Justin added. "I thought I told you that I wasn't interested in seeing you anymore."

"I know you said that Swe....Justin, but I just had to know what you thought of my little birthday gift to you. I'll bet you thought I'd forgotten your birthday. I was hoping to catch you at home but I guess you went out to celebrate instead." He paused for a moment. "Don't tell me you had to go out alone. Nobody should have to celebrate their big Twenty One all alone. You could have called me and I would have taken you somewhere special, you know."

Justin couldn't believe his ears. What in the hell was it going to take to make this idiot realize that they were through...final...over...finito....kaput...that there was never going to be an Ethan and Justin relationship again. As he mulled over the thought of how to rid himself of Ethan once and for all, it dawned on him that the man was still talking. He tried to focus on what he was saying.

"....and I know that you must have had a little fun there, but Justin, I could have come up with something a lot more interesting than a two-bit circus. Hell, I would have even arranged a flight so that we could go somewhere exciting like New York City. We could have painted the town red."

It suddenly dawned on Justin that Ethan had had him followed, or followed him himself. How else would he have known that he had visited the circus? In that instant Justin felt both angry heat and a chilling cold. He realized he might never be free of this man as long as he stayed in town. He would have to leave his home town and find somewhere that Ethan would never think to look for him. First he had to get rid of the guy tonight. Then he would have to think over his options. He did his best to mellow out his voice. 

"Look Ethan, I've told you I don't like you spending so much money on me, and besides I really wanted to visit the circus because it reminds me of my mother. We both loved going there, and they just happened to be in town at the right time, that's all. I'm sorry, but I am really exhausted. They busted my hump at work today and all I want right now is a good night's sleep. I've got a double shift at work tomorrow. You know I need to work hard to come up with enough money to pay for the next semester at our school.....and before you offer, the answer is no. I don't want you paying for anything, even if it's only a loan. Okay? Look, why don't you let me get a good night's sleep and we can talk more this weekend? Deal?"

Ethan's smile broadened as he listened to what Justin was saying. He trusted in his ability to sway anyone to his way of thinking, and Justin was telling him just what he had been waiting to hear. He was thoroughly convinced that Justin's resolve to keep him out of his life was slowly crumbling. It was enough hope to make him more willing to co-operate. He put his hand around Justin's neck and pulled him in for a quick kiss. Justin would have fought him but instead allowed the kiss...anything to get the man to go away. He watched as Ethan left, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. As Justin closed the door behind his ex he rubbed hard at his mouth trying to erase the taste of Ethan's lips. 

That night, Justin tossed and turned in his bed as he struggled with images of Ethan taking over his life again. When he finally drifted off to sleep he dreamed of elephants parading and tigers snarling inside cages....of beautiful people juggling, riding on horseback and flying through the air. When he woke from his fitful sleep the next morning he knew immediately what he was going to do. He was supposed to be at work by eight but he called in sick. If he failed in his quest he would dearly miss that day's pay, but he needed to take the chance. He dressed hurriedly, after taking care of a few errands, and then snuck out the back of the apartment house after calling a cab and giving them an address two blocks down. If Ethan had someone watching the front of the apartment house they would never see him getting into the cab. Ten minutes later Justin was in the cab and on his way to the circus grounds for the second time...this time with his resume carefully typed out on Daphne's old typewriter. If he got the job he would call his old friend and say goodbye, but she would be the only one who knew where he had disappeared to, and he knew his secret would be safe with her.

To be continued.........................

Justin fidgeted nervously in the seat he had been directed to. The office he had been sent to by a very short guy in clown makeup was actually nothing more than a much smaller side tent to the far larger main tent where the performances were held. The main tent was set up in a large, open field that was normally used as the fairgrounds for special events. The entire back side of the main tent was filled with trucks and trailers, some being used to house humans and others obviously used to house the circus animals. Special areas were set up nearby to keep the larger animals like the elephants. It was open on one side but covered on the other and with a top to protect the animals from poor weather. When Justin was first directed to the office he blushed as he remembered how he had almost been bowled over by the gorgeous trapeze artist just yards from where he was standing. He shook his head and hurried on, hoping that arriving so early would give him a leg up for the job interview.

When Justin first arrived there were already three other guys waiting just inside the office tent. All three of them looked like fugitives from a chain gang. They had hard faces and multiple tattoos. They also had something else Justin didn't possess...really hard bodies with large muscles. If the job required strength, Justin knew he was screwed. He thought seriously of giving up his plan and tucking his tail between his legs before returning home. Maybe some other plan to escape his old life would fall into place. But as he took his seat, Justin forced himself to stop thinking like a quitter. More than anything he wanted this job. Finally after nearly an hour waiting, a hefty woman of indeterminate age with bright red hair entered the tent followed by a dark-haired young man somewhere in his late twenties or early thirties. She eyed the potential candidates for the job opening.

Debbie couldn't miss the disparity between the youngest candidate and the three other guys. The much smaller blond barely looked old enough to drink, let alone hold down a demanding job, but there was something about his face that the circus veteran was attracted to instantly. When the kid looked up at her he had a shaky but beautiful smile that seemed to light up the room. She liked what she saw but she doubted the poor kid could handle the job. She needed someone who could assist in setting up the circus sideshows and stands and be a jack-of-all-trades. That would take some real physical capabilities. She also needed a stand-in who could work the booths when someone was sick or had an emergency. That was a skill this kid could handle. She was certain of that. The customers would love that face and probably visit the booth more than usual.

Well, she decided, she wouldn't know who to hire by just staring at the candidates. She needed to interview them. Her son, Michael was along to share his opinion with her. After all, she only kept the circus going through all the hard times they often suffered as a small independent company for the sake of her son. She wanted badly to leave him this one legacy someday. As a gay man, she knew her son wouldn't fit in just anywhere...not in these times. The Gay Pride movement was taking off thanks to a horrible incident in New York City popularly known as the Stonewall Riots which had occurred almost exactly six years earlier to the day. Yet it was still a homophobic world out there and she wanted her son to have the security of a world he was comfortable in and had known since birth. This was why it was important to include him in every aspect of running the circus. 

Debbie was a hard taskmaster. She expected loyalty from her employees and always got it. One reason for this was her honesty and fair treatment of her people, whether they were part of an act or workers on the sideline. She was also very careful with who she hired. The vast majority of her people were straight but she did not want her son to be forced into hiding who he was so she made sure the people she hired had open attitudes about human diversity, including sexuality. She had made a few mistakes in judgment, but not many. She was an excellent judge of character. Now it was time to get down to business. She had a small desk set up at the back of the tent and she pointed to the beefy guy sitting closest to her and asked him to follow her to the back. 

For the next hour and a half Justin watched as each of the other men stepped to the back of the tent and sat down in front of the small desk that the redhead sat behind. The younger man sat in a seat next to the older woman. It was obvious that she was in charge since she was doing almost all of the talking, although Justin could see the dark-haired guy speaking up once in a while. The space was just large enough to keep Justin from clearly hearing what was being said. The longer he waited for his turn to be interviewed the more nervous he became. No one had come in to join the little group so it looked like he would be the last to be interviewed for now. By the time the redhead shook hands with the last of the three burly applicants and crooked her finger at Justin, he had become convinced he was on a fool's errand. There was no way he would be hired for this job. He felt like kicking himself on the one hand and crying on the other. Well, it was too late to back down now. Justin squared his shoulders and plastered the smile back on his face. Justin took the proffered seat across from the lady. 

"Well young man, shall we begin?" she started out. "I see you have a couple of papers in your hand. Is that your resume?"

Justin nodded and handed over the carefully-typed papers. Debbie took a few minutes to peruse what was written there. Well, she thought to herself, if the papers were honest then this kid wasn't afraid of a little hard work. There was nothing on the sheet that was as physically demanding as being a roustabout with the circus, but this lad had been working a lot for years now. She was surprised to see that the kid was actually twenty-one years old, several years older than she would have guessed. Then she noticed his school records. It was surprising. Why would this kid want to work for the circus when he was so close to finishing up his schooling and getting a degree?

"I see that you have been a student as well as a working man for several years now...let's see now, Justin Taylor," she stated, checking the young man's name. "Is that correct?"

"Yes Ma'am," Justin answered.

"So tell me Justin, have you finished your schooling early? You state that you only have three years at the Arts Academy. Isn't it a four year program?" 

"Yes Ma'am, it is...but I don't have a scholarship and I don't have enough money saved for the final year. I really need a good paying job in order to save up to finish my schooling. But, please...I really need this job and I wasn't planning on working for a short time and then leaving. I'm in no hurry to get back to school. Not yet anyway."

Debbie eyed Justin suspiciously. 

"Did you have some trouble at the school that I should know about?"

"No...oh no, not at all. Uhh, it's kind of personal but I had a relationship with a fellow student that went bad and I was thinking it might be wise if I waited until this person graduated ahead of me before I returned. That would leave me free to earn plenty of money to return after a year or so. And who knows, maybe I'll love the circus so much I'll never want to go back to my old life. I've been in love with the circus since I was just a little kid."

"So your girlfriend is in the same year as you?"

Justin hesitated. He didn't like to lie but he didn't know these people from Adam. If he admitted he had a boyfriend and not a girlfriend it could mean he'd blow any chance of getting the job, even if there was only a slim one at the moment. 

Debbie's gaydar began buzzing. She realized that the young man hadn't been gender specific when mentioning the broken relationship. Now he seemed strangely uncomfortable the second she mentioned a girlfriend. Debbie had seen this behavior many times before, but still she had no proof that this kid was one of her gay boys. Debbie, who was always on the lookout for a special someone for her son looked at Justin with a fresh eye. He was a little young for Michael, but.......hmmm, what were the chances of.....oh crap, she thought to herself, stop matchmaking with a total stranger. If Michael could read her mind right now he'd kill her. 

Justin finally answered. "My ex and I were in the same grade, so the answer is yes. They'll be finished by the time I have enough money saved to return and then I won't have to deal with them ever again."

Debbie again noticed that the young man wasn't being gender specific...as a matter of fact he was being deliberately evasive, if truth be told. Michael hadn't made any comments or asked any questions, so she was on her own with this lad. A glance at Michael's face showed that he really had no interest in the blond. Debbie smiled inwardly. She shouldn't be surprised. Michael had never shown any interest in the kid's body type or looks. He preferred his men older, taller, and stronger looking than the blond. As a matter of fact, he never seemed to go for anyone who didn't look a lot like his favorite person, Brian Kinney. Oh well, she sighed, she wasn't interviewing for a date for Michael. She was looking for an employee. She dragged her concentration back to the anxious young man in front of her.

"Alright Justin, can you tell me what you think you'd be good at in the circus world? We're really looking for a jack-of-all-trades, to be quite honest, and I'm not sure if you can handle the strength requirements?"

"Oh, he can handle them," came a voice from behind Justin's back.

Justin whipped his head around and saw the trapeze artist standing not too far from the back of his chair. He felt a slight flush on his cheeks.

"Brian," both Debbie and Michael exclaimed at the same time. "I didn't notice you coming in," Debbie continued.

"Do you know this kid?" Michael asked suspiciously, butting in to interrupt his mother.

Brian grinned, "We've met...or should I say, we've run into each other before. Trust me Deb, the kid is a lot stronger than he looks. He almost knocked me over the other day," Brian exaggerated. "So, is that why he's here....to go to work for our little circus?"

Brian was looking at Debbie when he asked but Justin spoke up for himself.

"Yes sir, Mr...?"

"Kinney. The name is right on the program. Didn't you read your program, Mr.....?"

"Taylor. Justin Taylor, and yes I read the programs but they aren't very well made. You can hardly tell one performer from another. All the names and acts are so jumbled up. I mean, it's colorful but not very informative."

"Well, well! We have a critic, Ma. And what makes you such an expert?" Michael sneered.

"I'm an art student and I know what is pleasing to the eye and what captures one's attention. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be critical. Mr. Kinney asked me a question and I was trying to give an honest answer."

Michael frowned, but both Debbie and Brian found the young man's response refreshing. They both laughed out loud.

"Mikey, stop being so testy. I'm sure the kid didn't mean to insult your artistic abilities," Debbie laughed. She turned to Justin. "You'll have to forgive my son. He's the one who designed the layout for the program so he's a little defensive about it. I hadn't thought about it before but you do have a point."

Brian stepped in with his two cents worth. "Looks to me like this kid could be good for more than a roustabout, Deb. What better place for an artistic eye than the circus...right?" Maybe he could even set up a booth where he could draw pictures of customers. We've seen those at carnivals and fairs. Why not at the circus too."

"We don't even know if he's any good at drawing faces. Hell, we don't even know if he can draw at all. You're taking his word for it," Michael groused.

"I'm damn good at what I do," Justin proclaimed. "If you'll give me a second I'll prove it."

Justin got up from his seat and went back to the front of the tent where he had dropped the large thin tote he had been carrying. He often carried it with him when he left home and today was no exception. Inside it was an artist's pad and several sharpened pencils. He pulled the pad and a couple of pencils out. He hurried back to the chair he had vacated. He flipped open the pad and started sketching. In less than five minutes he had a rough outline of a face and features. He handed it over to Debbie. 

Debbie could barely believe her eyes. In no time at all the young man had captured Brian beautifully. It still needed work but there was no mistaking who was being sketched. She was greatly impressed. She handed it over to her son who clamped his mouth shut. He couldn't deny the quality of the work, despite his misgivings. Brian pulled it from Michael's grasp. He whistled under his breath. 

"Not bad," he declared. "What do you think, Deb? Am I right, or am I right? If the lad can't handle all the physical stuff, he'd still be an asset to the family. I'm sure we could find plenty of things to help him earn his keep. Don't you agree?"

Debbie took a moment to think it over. The room was totally quiet. Justin looked eager. Michael looked irritated. Brian looked inscrutable. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking or feeling. Debbie finally spoke.

"I think you have a point, Brian. Are you sure you want to leave behind all your friends and family and the school you've been a part of for so long, Justin? We're on the road ten months of the year. You won't be staying in any one place more than two weeks and some places even less than that. It's not all glamour. As a matter of fact, very little of it is glamour, except for the customers. The pay isn't that high, but we do feed you and provide a place for you to sleep so you'll save money that way. It might take more than a year for you to save enough to return to school. Of course you will get a percentage of any profit you make if we set up a booth for you. If you're good, you can earn a decent amount that way. Tonight's our last night in town so we'll be on the road tomorrow. That doesn't give you any time to tie up loose ends."

Justin's face broke into a huge grin.

"That's all the time I need! I just need to go home and gather a few things. I don't have much to worry about gathering. I'll be back before you know it! Thank you! Thank you!" Justin gushed, as he shook Debbie's hand enthusiastically. He was so excited he even grabbed Michael's hand and shook it. Lastly, he did the same for the handsome flyer. His hold lingered for a brief second before mouthing an extra 'thank you' to him. Before anyone could catch their breath, the blond disappeared out the flap of the tent and was gone. Debbie looked at the two men and all three laughed.

"I guess we have a new employee," Debbie declared. "He didn't even ask what his salary would be. Now that's my kind of employee," she laughed.

"Let's just hope he's worth it. I'll bet he doesn't know a damned thing about circus life. He may be more trouble than he's worth," Michael warned.

Brian stared at the flap where the cute blond had just disappeared. 

"Don't worry Mikey....Deb, I'll take him under my wing. I won't let him get into any trouble."

Brian turned around and left the tent, completely forgetting why he had come to the office in the first place. He didn't see the sour look on his best friend's face, but it wouldn't have mattered to Brian. He always did what he wanted whether friends approved or not, and what he wanted was to get to know the cute blond a lot better. If he wasn't gay, then he'd have to settle for friendship, but he had a feeling that this Justin character would be worth knowing no matter what side of the sexual bed he fell on. Brian walked back to his trailer, whistling all the way.

To be continued............................    

It had been an interesting month for Justin, and that was putting it mildly. It all started that day he hurried home from his job interview with Debbie's circus. Looking back on it, he still couldn't believe that he had summoned up the guts to go for it in the first place. Of course, he had nothing to lose. If he didn't get the job he wouldn't be any worse off than he already was. He'd still be stuck in his hometown with an obsessive ex-boyfriend hanging around his neck like a noose waiting to choke the life out of him. He'd also still be stuck with a low-paying job that would barely provide him with enough income to pay his living expenses once he left the safety of Daphne's place while still giving him enough extra to slowly save up for another year at the Arts Academy. He had reasoned that trying out for the job would at least give him a shot at both escape and financial security, not to mention the grand adventure he might have with the new job.

He had woefully underestimated the adventure part of securing the job. It didn't take him more than a few days to figure out that his new job was going to be far more of an adventure than he had contemplated. It started that very first night. Justin had hurried out to his waiting cab and rushed back to Daphne's apartment house, making sure to enter her building from the rear so the stakeout that he was certain Ethan had arranged would not spot him. Justin took very little time in gathering up all his belongings and thrusting them haphazardly into the one suitcase he had left Ethan's place with. When he left Ethan, he left behind all the fancy clothes his ex had bought him. He only took away the things he had bought with his own money or had been gifted to him by his few friends. He wanted nothing to remind him of Ethan. 

Justin was a little more careful about packing up his artist's tote bag that he always took with him whenever he could. It was threadbare since it had been his one indulgence the day he was accepted into the Academy and had seen a lot of use since then, but it was his pride and joy. He made sure he left none of his art supplies behind. He could already picture himself sketching and painting so many wonderfully colorful scenes at the circus. His heart raced at the thought. It raced even faster when he thought of filling out the sketch he had already made of that gorgeous trapeze artist. What did he say his name was? Oh yeah, Brian Kinney. Just thinking of Mr. Kinney seemed to make Justin feel more positive about the future. In his eagerness to get moving, he didn't have enough time to analyze why he felt that way on the first day.

Once Justin finished up his meager packing he took the time to type up a quick letter of explanation for his best friend. He didn't go into a lot of detail but assured her he was doing what was best for them all. He made solemn promises to call her once she was back home and give her all the details as well as keep in close contact with her in the future. He made sure to thank her for all she had done for him and for being the one person he could turn to once he had finally been ready to accept that he had chosen badly for a future mate. With that task completed, he slipped out the back and found the waiting cab a few blocks down from the apartment house. Shortly after, he was again on the fairgrounds where the circus was set up.

By the time Justin got back to the circus grounds the usual chaos behind the tents was in full swing. That night's show would be the last performance in this town and it was a tradition to make it the best one of all. Everyone was either getting in one last practice performance before the real thing or setting booths and concession back into action, preparing food and games for the customers as well as sideshow displays. Justin spotted Brian coming out of one of the larger trailers some distance away. He would know that face and body anywhere. He hurried over to the man, hoping Brian would know where the boss lady was. He needed to know where to store his things and what he could do to help. Brian saw Justin coming towards him rapidly. The young man was almost out of breath by the time he reached Brian. It caused a slow grin to spread across Brian's face.

"Well that didn't take long," Brian stated, looking down at Justin's hand which was only carrying one suitcase while the other hand held on tightly to the strap of his tote bag. "Are you sure you aren't leaving something behind?"

"Anything left behind isn't needed...or wanted," Justin answered cryptically. 

He offered Brian one of his warmest smiles. Brian was struck by how beautiful that smile made the young man's face. It wasn't dark out yet, but if it had been he was sure the smile would have lit up the place like the spotlights under the circus Big Top. His smile was also meant to deflect from the serious tone in his voice when he made that last statement. Brian, however, caught on to it. He felt certain the young man was joining the circus for more than a good way to have fun and earn money at the same time. He reflected back on his own journey into joining the circus. He had wanted to get away from his old life and he suspected that was what young Justin wanted too. He was also wondering if there was a girl or maybe even a boy being left behind. He would dearly love to think it was a boy, but he wasn't about to come right out and ask...at least not until he got to know the kid better.

Justin interrupted his thoughts. "Do you know where I can find the boss? I need to know where I should put my things and see if I can help out tonight."

Brian liked Justin's eagerness. He didn't need to answer the question, however, since they both spotted the redhead coming towards them from the corner of a nearby trailer. Debbie was accompanied by a man of similar age, and her face lit up when she saw her newest employee talking to her star. She made her way over to the couple, the tall man trailing in her wake.

"Justin!" she greeted the blond enthusiastically. "I didn't expect you back for at least a few more hours. I like an employee who is so eager to get things done. I haven't really had the chance to let your new roomies know that you are coming yet. Why don't I take you to their trailer right now and you can get settled in. Once that is done you can meet me back at the office and I'll see what I can find for you to do during the show tonight. After that I can promise you that you'll have plenty to do. We have to strike the tents, take down booths, pack things away, take care of the animals, take care of ourselves, and get on the road to our next destination. We'll be working until late in the night. Are you up for it?" she asked with a grin.

"I'm ready any time you are," Justin promised. "Just point the way."

"Well then," Debbie continued, "follow me. You can come too if you have nothing better to do Brian." 

It was her subtle way of reminding him he had business to take care of, like a short practice session with his team. Brian caught the hint. He watched as the trio headed off in the direction of a cluster of trailers that housed most of the non-performing members of of the company. He continued to watch, his eyes on the retreating back of the cute blond. Justin certainly was a fine figure of a man, especially his well-rounded bubble butt. He was a little surprised when he saw which trailer Debbie stopped at. He knew all the trailers and who lived in them. This one housed a group that Brian particularly liked, mainly because they were all his kind of people. He heard Lisa, one of his girl flyers calling him so he knew he needed to get going. He made a mental note to ask Debbie why she picked that particular trailer for the new employee.

Meanwhile, Justin hurried to keep up with his new boss. She strode purposefully like a woman who always knew where she was going and why. She didn't stop until she reached her destination. She knocked lightly on the door. The trailer was one of the longest ones on the grounds. As she waited for someone to answer she introduced the man with her to young Justin.

"This is my baby Brother, Vic Grassi," she informed Justin. "He's our chief cook and bottle washer and helps to keep everyone in line." She laughed. "Don't let that scare you. Vic is a sweetheart. He only bites when he has to. He's third in command here. You've met the number two man...that's my son Michael. That's all the blood family we have left, but the truth is that we're all family in the company. If you have any troubles or questions you can come to any one of us. You've also met our number one star, and now you'll meet some of your newest and best friends...or I suspect they will be in no time at all."

Just then the door to the trailer opened and a very tall, colorfully-dressed young man popped out the door. He couldn't have been much older than Justin and had a smile every bit as friendly as the one Justin was known for. He stepped down to the ground and hugged the redhead tightly.

"Hey Debbie, what have we got here?" he asked, eyeing the cute stranger up and down and making Justin feel like he was being undressed right then and there.

"Down boy," Debbie laughed. "You be nice and don't scare away our new helper before he even gets settled in. Justin, this rather forward young man is Emmett Honeycutt. He is in charge of the costumes for the company. All that glitz and glamour is a product of his fevered brain."

Just then two other men stepped into the doorway. They poked their heads out to see what was going on. Debbie pointed to them both.

"The two characters hiding behind Emmett are also your new roommates. The studious looking one is our bookkeeper, Ted Schmidt. The one hanging over his shoulder is his partner, Dr. Blake Wyzecki. He takes care of all the mental and physical ills of our people. He's a great ear when you need someone to talk to. Fellows, this is our newest member of the family. His name is Justin Taylor and he'll be our Jack-of-all-trades for the time being until we find his niche. Say hello everyone."

Everyone obeyed. She then went on to explain that there was one more roommate that shared the trailer and that man was Emmett's partner, Drew Boyd who was the head roustabout and responsible for all the other laborers. He was busy at the moment getting his team ready to strike everything once the final show was over and customers had all left. Debbie explained that the trailer had two full bedrooms that the couples shared and a couch that pulled out into a bed for the new guy. Debbie didn't wait for Justin to ask about the arrangement. She explained herself immediately.

"I hope you have no objections to sharing your space with a bunch of gay men. I didn't get the impression that you are a bigoted jerk while talking to you. I am right, am I not?"

Justin was a little taken aback. He wasn't sure whether he should just come right out and admit he was a gay man himself or leave that bit of information alone. Instead he answered without giving away too much.

"No...no. I have absolutely no problem with gay folks or anyone else, for that matter. What a person chooses to do in their private life is their business." He looked at the new roommates. "I'm sure we'll get along fine," he concluded.

Debbie smiled to herself. She was right, and she knew it. Hopefully young Justin would be more comfortable being himself around everyone very soon. She could wait. Sometimes trust took time.

***************************************************************

The next month went by so fast that Justin barely had time to catch his breath. He had felt right at home in the trailer with his new roommates from the very first night. Every one of the guys were really good men and went out of their way to make him feel at home. It was a good thing he had so few belongings since the trailer was quite crowded. He met Emmett's hunky-looking boyfriend that very night while he did his best to help everyone break everything down so the equipment could be loaded on the appropriate trucks. He even helped out with some of the animals. By the time he collapsed onto the pull-out bed he was bone tired and totally exhausted. The next morning, when the sun had barely risen in the sky, the entire caravan pulled out and hit the highway. 

Justin had been shocked when Brian came looking for him while breakfast was being served under the last tent standing. Most of the members of the company were there, but Justin only had eyes for the tall brunet as he approached. He swung his long leg over the picnic table bench that Justin was sitting on and plopped down facing the newbie, giving him a cheerful grin. Quite a few of the others that were finishing up their morning meal noticed Brian's friendliness with the new guy. There were a few winks and smirks along with some surprised looks. They had never seen Brian cozy up to a new employee so fast before, especially one who wasn't really one of the entertainers. They had a busy morning ahead so they didn't take much time wondering what was going on.

"So how did you like your first night with the circus, Justin?" Brian inquired, casually picking up the piece of toast Justin had on the edge of his plate. He had noticed how hard the blond had worked last night.

"I feel like every muscle in my body is strained to its limit and I could use a few hours more sleep, but other than that...it was more fun than I've had in ages. I've got a feeling I'm going to like this job," Justin answered. "By the way, I never really got the chance to thank you properly for helping me to get the job in the first place. Between you and me, I'm not so sure the boss was going to hire me until you vouched for me."

"You don't have to call her the boss, you know. Everyone just calls her Debbie or Miss Debbie. Sometimes we even call her Mother Debbie but she'll bop you on the head for that one," Brian laughed. "I didn't do anything but give her my honest opinion. I think you'll make a good addition to our crew. So tell me, Justin, what do you think of your new roomies?" Brian was eager to hear Justin's answer. It might confirm what he was hoping for. "Debbie likes to pride herself on how well she pairs people up. She's very conscious of who she rooms with whom. Did she do a good job this time around too?"

Justin wasn't sure what Brian was asking, but he gave an honest answer.

"Yeah, she did fine. I like the guys. They're really cool. They were nothing but nice to me. I especially like the one named Emmett. He's kind of out there but I like creative minds. Maybe it's the artist in me." Justin paused for a second, measuring his next thought before speaking, then he plunged ahead. "Only thing is that I feel kind of like a fifth wheel with them. But I guess it's okay since they don't seem to mind."

Brian laughed. He liked what he heard. It was obvious that Justin had no problem with gays. It emboldened him.

"Yeah well, you'll find that our little company is very gay-friendly. Debbie would not have it any other way. She seems to attract the gays to her like bears to honey. I feel right at home with her and the rest of the company and so do a bunch of other guys like me," Brian added, deliberately revealing himself to Justin and putting the ball in his court.

Without thinking, Justin responded, "You're gay too?"

Brian laughed even louder. "Don't look so shocked, kid. You do know that not all gay men look like the sterotype the straight world seems to see us as, don't you?"

"Of course I know that," Justin bristled. Then he decided...what the hell, everyone else is upfront around here. "I don't think I fit the sterotype image either," he declared.

Brian leaned back and looked Justin over from top to bottom. 

"No indeed," he surmised. "As a matter of fact, you are one very masculine...though may I say, beautiful....young man indeed."

Justin blushed a deep pink. He almost choked on the sip of coffee he was about to take. Brian grinned at him.

"Look kiddo, I've got some last minute things to do before we hit the road but I'd love to finish this conversation. Would you like to join me on the road? I have my own car...an old Jeep left over from WWII but in tip top condition. You'll discover I take very good care of my things. Anyway, one of the crew drives the truck pulling my trailer and I usually like to drive alone so I can have some quality time to myself, but I think I'd enjoy making an exception this time around. So what do you say?"

Justin went blank for a few seconds from the unexpected invitation, but quickly found his tongue.

"That, ahh...that sounds fine."

That was how the first full day with the circus began. It only got better from there. Justin was about to experience more adventures during the next month than he had had in all twenty one years of his life up to then. It was only the beginning of a life change that would affect him profoundly and change the course of his life in ways he had never dared to dream of and could only have prayed for as a kid longing for something he couldn't put a name to. Those changes would affect others too, in ways they couldn't have expected as the caravan pulled away from the city.

To be continued.......................

"If only my Mom could see me now."

"What did you say?"

The attractive blond hadn't even realized he was speaking out loud. He glanced over at the handsome brunet sitting next to him. Clear hazel eyes met bright blue ones, and a spark seemed to briefly flare in the balmy air breezing around the two men. It made the Summer morning even warmer as the wind whipped through their hair. 

The Jeep drove down the highway at the very back of the long caravan of circus trucks and trailers. The first half hour on the highway had been one of almost total silence, except for the sounds of music playing on the radio. Justin was beginning to wonder why Brian had even bothered to invite him to ride along, when Brian finally broke the silence. 

"Just out of curiosity, how many circuses have you attended in your day, Justin?"

"Uhhhh," Justin responded. He had been on the verge of napping when he heard Brian speak at last. 

"I said, how many circuses have you attended in your lifetime? It isn't a particularly hard question, is it?"

Justin thought for a second and then answered. 

"I haven't been to the circus since I was little. All I remember is my Mom taking me. I think she took me every year, but I only remember the last time."

Brian caught the strange way that Justin's voice changed as he mentioned his mother. His curiosity was piqued.

"What made it so memorable?" he asked.

"It was for my fifth birthday....but it was the last time she took me," Justin answered slowly.

Without thinking, Brian asked, "Oh, so why is that? You didn't enjoy yourself?"

Justin's tone changed even more. "It was the best time of my life, but she died a few days later. That's why we never went again."

Brian suddenly felt like a total idiot. He realized he should have caught the sadness in the young man's voice when he mentioned his mother. Brian had no love lost for his own mother and hadn't even said good bye to her when he pulled up stakes and left his hometown for good, but he loved Debbie like a mother and knew he would be devastated if she passed away. He could understand why Justin felt such pain, since he had been so young when he lost his mother. He quickly changed the subject.

"I'm sorry to hear that. So have you always known you wanted to be an artist?"

Justin was grateful for the change in direction the conversation was taking.

"Always," he answered proudly. "My dad hated my interest in the Arts, but it didn't matter to me. I knew who I was going to be and nothing that bastard could say was going to change a thing."

"So you and your old man didn't see eye to eye on things? Welcome to the club. My old man was a pathetic drunk who wanted me to be a football jock and make a fortune as a pro so I could support him in his old age."

"But you had other plans, and he couldn't stop you," Justin interrupted. "Sounds like we have something in common."

Brian turned his head away from the road long enough to give Justin a quick once-over, settling on the rather healthy bulge in his pants. 

"I suspect we have more than one thing in common," he remarked, his voice growing slightly husky.

Justin felt a tingle run up and down his spine. He knew a come-on when he heard it, and it had been a long time since anyone so good-looking and agreeable had bothered to give him that kind of attention. It felt good. He had almost forgotten how much he liked the feeling of being wanted, especially by someone he found himself attracted to as well. A minute later he responded to Brian's hint.

"So, does your family know that you prefer men over women?" he asked curiously.

"My family doesn't know a fucking thing about who I am....and that's the way I like it. I haven't spoken to any of them in over a decade. Does your father know the truth?" Brian asked, turning it around on Justin.

"No, and that's the way I like it too. I became an orphan when my Mom died. I literally raised myself. I guess you might say, I have only myself to blame for however I turned out."

Brian grinned. "Doesn't sound...or look....to me like you turned out so bad, kid."

"I told you, I'm not a kid. I just had my twenty-first birthday. Besides I've been on my own for a long time. I'll bet I've been through as much as you have. Have you left behind any broken hearts when you moved on?" Justin added, repaying Brian for getting so personal.

Brian laughed out loud. "I don't do boyfriends, if that's what you're asking....and I doubt if any of my casual pick-ups were broken-hearted when I left town. My turn now...did you leave behind any broken hearts?"

Justin squirmed in his seat. The conversation had begun to hit too close to his sore spot. He did his best to sound casual when he answered Brian's question, but the older man sensed there was more to the story.

"I had one semi-serious relationship, but it's been over for a long time now. I told Debbie about it when she interviewed me. You must have missed that part. I'm sure he won't miss me too much. He has looks and money. I doubt if he'll be alone for long. It was time for us both to move on. I'm ready to see what else is out there."

"Well trust me ki...Justin, there is plenty out there. You just need to know where to look. I'll be happy to be your guide. That is, if you would like a little help. The pickings are lean within the company. Almost all the gays are already paired up, and they are committed to each other...well, for the most part. A few of us have learned how and where to find our fun in different cities we visit during the Season, however, so we can help you find some companionship."

Justin smiled over at Brian. "Thanks, but I'm not really looking for anybody right now. I just want to settle into my new job and drink in the whole experience. I'll let you know when I'm ready for more though."

Brian seemed to think this over before he responded. 

"Does this mean no hanky panky for the two of us?"

"What?" came the shocked reply.

Without any notice, Brian suddenly pulled his Jeep off to the shoulder of the road near a stand of trees. He put the vehicle in 'park', turned off the engine, and turned to Justin.

"I find you very attractive, Justin. Don't worry, I'm not talking about a relationship. I just thought you might enjoy a little fun playing around. Just two guys having a good time kind of thing. If you're not interested, that's not a problem at all. I respect any boundaries you want to enforce."

Justin's mouth fell open as he turned to face Brian. He had been approached before...more than once...but never quite so boldly. The truth was that he rather liked Brian's direct approach. Justin had had enough of hearts and flowers and phony promises of forever love. Quickly, before he could change his mind, Justin leaned forward and placed his hands on Brian's freshly-shaven cheeks. A moment later his lips were glued to Brian's. 

Cars and trucks whizzed past the parked Jeep as the two men inside found themselves kissing with ever-mounting passion. Brian couldn't believe how delicious the young man's lips were. He tasted sweet and Brian enjoyed the sensation of poking his tongue against Justin's pearly white teeth to demand they separate so he could gain entry inside that warm, inviting mouth. The kiss led to more kissing and before either man had the time to think better of it, they were soon groping one another through their tight jeans. 

Oblivious to the danger they were in of being caught by a passing highway patrolman or anyone else, the two men lost themselves in the delicious feeling of having their burgeoning cocks popped out of their pants and being stroked vigorously at the same time mouths were exploring lips, faces, and necks. Both men used their free hand to pull up shirts, exposing naked chests and waiting nipples. Lips moved down until mouths could clamp onto the tiny buds. The men took turns nipping and sucking on the soft buds until they bloomed into hard nubs from the pleasure they were receiving. A few minutes later anyone passing by would have only spotted one figure in the parked Jeep as Brian bent down to engulf Justin's cock in his hot mouth. 

Justin had not once in his life had a sexual experience in a public place, but he couldn't have...or wouldn't have...stopped Brian from sucking him off in this wide open space if his very life had depended on it. It had been a long time since he had felt a connection to anyone. He hadn't been touched since telling Ethan to go to hell and his body had almost forgotten how good it felt. Actually, his mind was beginning to register the fact that it had never felt so good before. Obviously Brian Kinney was skilled at more than just flying through the air on a trapeze. Ethan had always told Justin that no one could give head better than his blond boyfriend, but Justin was pretty sure that Brian could give him a run for his money. 

The feelings that Brian brought out in him made Justin long for it to never end, but of course it had to eventually. Brian masterfully brought Justin to the brink of orgasm a number of times but always slowed down so that the feelings could last. Finally he didn't hold back any longer and he heard the young man above him start to pant harder and harder until he was moaning deep in his throat. Justin's hands roughly pulled at Brian's hair as the feelings intensified and then he suddenly let out a loud gasp and thrust his hips upwards, forcing his juices to flow down Brian's throat. Brian was in no hurry to let Justin go. The blond tasted like the nectar of the gods. He slowly and gently licked and massaged Justin's softening cock with his mouth and tongue until it was clean as a whistle. He sat up and grinned like the kitty who had just brought his prize catch home to his master. 

Justin grabbed Brian's face again and kissed him, his gratitude overflowing. He welcomed the taste of himself on Brian's tongue. More than anything on earth, he wanted to repay the gift he'd just been given. He had never felt more alive. He wrapped his hand around Brian's throbbing cock and re-positioned himself so that he could go down on Brian just as the older man had done to him. This time a passerby would only see the dark hair of a tall man leaning far back behind the wheel of his Jeep as they drove by. Justin proceeded to prove to Brian that he was every bit as talented with his mouth and tongue as Brian was, even if he had less experience by a decade or more. He was a natural, and he soon had Brian writhing in his seat as the young man brought him to the same totally satisfying climax. When Justin's head came up, Brian offered him the same thank you kiss that he had received. 

It took a while for the two men to straighten themselves up. Once shirts were back in place, cocks were tucked safely back into shorts, and pants were zipped back up Brian restarted the Jeep and pulled back into traffic. Things went quiet between the two men again until Justin asked if Brian would be able to catch up with the caravan. He laughed and told Justin not to worry. Even if he didn't catch up, he knew where they were going. He reassured Justin that they wouldn't get lost. Justin said he wasn't worried and then sat back, watching the miles quickly fade away in his rear view mirror. It took almost a half hour but Justin finally spotted the large truck they had been following when they first left the old circus grounds. Once Brian had caught up he lowered his speed by almost twenty miles per hour and fell into a comfortable pace behind the truck. 

It was then that Justin realized how much his life had already changed. He was no longer bound to his old life by anything. His father wouldn't care that he had left town. His ex-boyfriend had no right to know he had left. His best friend would still be his best friend, even from a distance. His school would still be there if and when he decided to finish up his education. The only thing he cared about in his hometown was his mother's grave, but somehow he knew she would approve of his choice to leave. In his heart he was certain that his mother would be happy for him. 

It was then that he said, "If only my Mom could see me now." When Brian asked him to repeat himself, Justin simply explained that he had never been so excited about the future. His enthusiasm was contagious. Brian couldn't remember anyone making him feel so good about things either. As they drove on to their next scheduled town, Justin's first one as a member of the circus family, Brian glanced over at his passenger and smiled. 'I think I'm really going to like this kid', he thought to himself. 

Out loud, Brian responded to Justin's explanation, "I'm glad you're thinking positive about working for the circus Justin. It will make it a lot more fun for you. And you know, I think we're going to be great friends."

The trapeze artist had no idea how prophetic his words would turn out to be.

To be continued...........................

It only took two weeks for Justin to know he had made the best decision of his life the day he decided to run away with the circus. Of course he only used that term jokingly when talking with his new friends or during his several calls to best friend, Daphne. That was exactly how she had referred to his joining the circus company when she got his hastily-typed letter after returning home and then received her first long distance call from Justin. Of course it was simply a matter of him taking on a new job, but there was a grain of truth in the phrase. By leaving home and joining the circus company, he had escaped the misery his life had become. Now he was enjoying every day that passed.

The first week on the job had been rather loosely organized, with Justin helping out all over the place. He literally became the go-to man when anyone had some little chore they needed taken care of that everyone else was too busy to handle. It was an excellent way to get acquainted with the inner workings of circus life. Justin met the entire troupe over this period of time and found nearly all of them to be extremely friendly and thoughtful. When Debbie had called her employees 'a family' she hadn't been kidding. 

Justin was particularly fond of his roommates. Emmett was a real character with an outgoing personality that made Justin smile every time they were together. The guy was obviously deeply in love with the ultra-masculine roustabout that he shared his bed with, but that didn't keep Emmett from being a real flirt. He would have all the roommates in stitches at the end of the day as they sat around the tiny table in their trailer and talked about this guy or that guy that they had spotted in the audience, speculating as to whether he batted for their team or not. Drew, his boyfriend, never seemed a bit bothered by Em's open admiration of other men. He was obviously confident in their relationship. It sometimes brought back unhappy memories of how possessive and insecure Ethan was with Justin, but every time his ex would pop into his head Justin would force the thought out just as quickly. He was not about to let Ethan spoil his newfound contentment. 

Keeping thoughts of Ethan at bay was even easier thanks to one certain circus performer...the beautiful and ultra-sexy trapeze artist, Brian Kinney. Brian had obviously been serious when he told Debbie he would mentor the newest employee. He frequently checked up on Justin and spent a little more time at the trailer Justin lived in than he had done in the past, although it had always been one of his favorite places to relax in his spare time. Folks were also beginning to notice that Brian invited Justin to his private trailer quite a number of times. They took note of it because Brian had never made it a habit to invite folks into his place that often. He liked his privacy, although he certainly wasn't standoffish or actually anti-social as a rule. 

Of course, the rumors began to spread that the two were probably messing with each other all those times that Justin spent in Brian's trailer. Actually they did have a number of sexual encounters, but their friends and co-workers would have been surprised to discover that Brian often had Justin visiting with him just to talk. It was the first time that Brian had found someone he actually enjoyed carrying on a long conversation with. The two men talked about a wide variety of subjects, especially the growing movement of gays and lesbians who were tired of the bigotry they encountered and were beginning to stand up for themselves with Pride Parades and protests throughout the Country. They speculated as to whether men like themselves would ever feel safe in being totally open about themselves no matter where they went. They wondered if people of influence, notoriety, and wealth who remained closeted for whatever reasons they deemed necessary would ever burst open the closet door and stand proudly with their less notable brothers and sisters. 

Brian and Justin also enjoyed talking about the dreams they had for their futures. The conversations included those dreams they had once had that never came true. Justin was surprised to hear that Brian hadn't been raised in the circus...he was such a talented performer. He listened sympathetically to Brian's story of his lost chances for Olympic glory and how meeting Michael had changed the course of his future. Justin had become aware of Michael's feelings for Brian thanks to the gossip of his trailer mates...not that Michael's attitude towards him hadn't been a big clue. He was never openly rude to Justin, but he had not made any attempt to be openly welcoming as most of the others in the circus had done. He was particularly cool to Justin whenever he spotted the young man leaving Brian's trailer after many hours inside. 

Justin didn't really care what Michael thought of his friendship with Brian. He had never had a friend like Brian before and he treasured their relationship. He enjoyed spending time with the older man and matching wits with him. It was just a bonus that they seemed to be very compatible sexually too. Justin was far from ready to admit that having sex with Brian was more than a delightful way to pass the time, but each time they had sex he did find himself feeling more connected to Brian than ever. If anyone had suggested that he might be falling in love, he would have protested with extreme vigor, followed closely by Brian's adamant agreement that they were simply two guys who liked fucking each other. 

The two men seemed to be the only folks with the circus who hadn't noticed how they both sought each other out before, during, and after performances and how they spent a great deal of time with their heads together talking about something or other whenever they weren't on the job. It was during one of those long talks that Brian sat for Justin as the young man painted a portrait of the aerialist in his favorite costume. That was during the second week Justin was with the company. Brian took the painting to Debbie and reminded her of the idea that had come up when hiring Justin concerning setting him up in his own booth to draw sketches of customers. As Debbie stared in awe at the beautiful, yet simple drawing she also thought back to what Justin had said about the less than artistic programs they were now using for the show. Both the programs and the advertising flyers could be improved a great deal by a truly artistic eye. Justin certainly had that eye. 

By the end of Justin's second week, and third city with the circus, he had his own small booth set up in a prime spot to the side of the main tent. During the day when there were no performances, Justin could usually be found visiting with one performer or another and sketching them in costume. His goal was to create a flyer that would please Debbie and convince her even more that she had been right to take a chance on him. During the second half of his first month with the circus, Justin more than proved that he was an asset to the circus. 

He had a small booth that was set up with three sides. He had samples of his work displayed all over the booth with a stool set up in front of the open booth, his artist tools right at hand. As customers arrived early for the show, they would check the rows of displays, games, and souvenirs available. Many of them stopped to check out the vividly colored and beautifully-rendered drawings of the animals and circus performers that the cute young man with the blond hair and brilliant smile had on display. When they saw the reasonable price he had posted to create a drawing of them or a circus act of their choice, quite a number of them accepted the offer and chose a painting already completed or had a sketch made of themselves or a loved one attending the show with them. Justin particularly enjoyed drawing the kids, when they would stay still long enough for him to get a good outline. He never made them pay until he had completed the work, either by the time the show was over or before the circus left town. Remarkably, no one ever stiffed him. He would then turn over the money to Debbie who would add his share to Justin's weekly salary. 

Justin was finding his new job more profitable than he had expected. His savings were slowly, but steadily growing during the rest of the Summer. At this rate, by the time the next school year rolled around a year later he would have all he needed to complete his education. It gave Justin a sense of pride in himself. Not all of his time was spent with work, of course. Several weeks after joining the circus, Justin found himself in a teasing match with Brian who dared him to try and fly through the air. Naturally Justin was reluctant until Brian showed him the safety equipment that was used for training. The safety harnesses looked safe enough and the challenging twinkle in Brian's eye prompted Justin to take the dare. With assurances from Brian that he would take it slow and easy, Justin let Brian begin to train him in how to use the aerial equipment. 

For over a month, Brian spent many hours of his spare time teaching Justin how to fly. Surprisingly, the young man seemed to have a knack for it. He didn't have the skills yet to replace one of the flyers in case one was needed, but he certainly enjoyed learning the new skill. He was always particularly excited to be caught in Brian's strong hands once he had made his first bar release and was plucked from the air by a swinging Brian. He felt completely safe with the skilled trapeze artist.

The other members of Brian's act took an instant liking to Justin. It was while he was hanging around with them that he heard the name of an ex-member of their troupe....Kip Thompson. When Justin asked Brian about the man, he dismissed him as a fool who could have gotten someone seriously hurt if not killed because of his carelessness and overblown ego. He told him that he had actually had the guy fired on the very day he met Justin for the first time. He had heard rumors that Kip had joined another small circus, but he didn't care one way or the other. He wanted the subject dropped and so it was. He didn't bother to mention that Kip had threatened to get even with Brian after Debbie chose not to find any other work for Kip within the company. He decided it was nothing but an empty threat, just like Kip's so-called talent.

After a month and a half, Justin finally completed all the work he had been doing on the advertising flyers and programs for Debbie's circus. The work was amazing. The finished product included renderings of the circus acts that nearly jumped off the pages of the program...they were so unbelievably realistic. The details and information that accompanied the drawings were thorough and exciting. Any customer scanning the program would probably hold on to it tight and keep it for a souvenir for years to come. 

Usually, with the old programs, the clean-up crews would find them all over the circus grounds after a show. They would be swept up and discarded. When Debbie saw Justin's work, she suspected that not nearly as many programs would end up in the trash bins as they had before. The flyers were less detailed but just as dramatic as the programs. They were always put up all over town by an advance scout a week or more before the show arrived in town. They were also submitted to local newspapers for advertising and to draw in more customers. Debbie could hardly wait to have the new flyers printed and posted. If she was right, there was a good chance the new flyers would attract an even larger audience. 

This work and the tidy sum of money that Justin's artist's booth brought in convinced Debbie that hiring Justin had been a really smart move on her part. The fact that her son couldn't seem to warm up to the guy, something no one else had a problem doing, didn't change her mind. She knew what Michael's problem with Justin stemmed from. It was the green-eyed monster and nothing less. Debbie didn't blame Brian. She knew for a fact that Brian never encouraged Mikey's desire for him. She could even understand where her son was coming from. Mikey was a romantic who longed for a serious relationship, but before Brian stepped into the picture he had never found anyone who suited him. It was just his misfortune to fall for someone who only saw him as a friend. Debbie prayed that Michael would find someone of his own...and soon so he could relax around Justin more easily. She had developed a great affection for the always open and friendly young blond.

One month turned into two....two turned into three. Summer was coming to a close. Schools were back in session. The circus would only be on the road for a couple more months and then return to home base for a period of rest and relaxation as well as the chance to work on new changes for the next Season. The weather was turning cooler with the shorter days. Brian and Justin's relationship had matured. The couple spent more and more time together and Brian continued to train Justin in the art of flying. They often went out to local gay clubs together in whatever town they were in, many times with their friends and co-workers in tow. Once in a while one or the other would leave with some stranger, but it was the exception....not the rule.

One day in early September a stranger appeared at Debbie's office. Right away she noticed how extremely good looking the young man was. He had a proposition for Debbie. He explained that his name was Professor Ben Bruckner and that he had taken a sabbatical from his teaching post in order to write a book about the vanishing world of small independent circuses. The book actually covered all the forms of entertainment that were once life savers for hard-working folks who needed a break from their everyday lives. It included traveling shows, vaudeville shows, burlesque shows, and circuses....all the fun things to do that movies and television had and still were slowly killing off. He wanted permission to stay with Deb's circus for a couple of months to get an honest feel for the business and its inhabitants. He would pay for the privilege, of course. Debbie, never one for passing up an honest dollar or free advertising, readily agreed.

The addition of Ben to the traveling company was only one of the changes that Autumn would bring to Debbie's circus. By the time the circus had finished the 1975 tour, there would be changes and adventures of all kinds. Some would be most welcome, some far from that. The wheels were already turning in two different parts of the country that would threaten to create havoc and misery for certain members of Debbie's extended family, not to mention her beloved circus itself. But there would also be some joyous moments that would never be forgotten. In the meantime, the show always went on and just got better every day for the young man who had wisely decided to run away with the circus one day and still didn't regret it for a moment. 

To be continued............................

"Michael, have you seen the good Professor? I've been looking for him everywhere."

Debbie was in a tizzy. A telegram had arrived for Professor Ben and she couldn't find him anywhere she looked. She hated telegrams. She was old enough to remember when a telegram usually meant bad news, such as after the death of a loved one during the war. She had been a teenager during most of WWII, and she still remembered the telegram that told her mother about the death of her father on the battlefield in France. Then there were the countless telegrams that announced the death of a soldier in Vietnam. That war was still very fresh in everyone's memories, having just ended for the Americans. Of course, this telegram could also hold good news, but she wouldn't know unless she passed it on to the one it belonged to. 

Debbie had grown extremely fond of Ben, and she was hoping the telegram had nothing to do with cutting short his stay with the circus. Part of that reason stemmed from the fact that Ben was a wonderfully sweet man. He had the temperament of a Zen Buddhist and got along with everyone, never being intrusive while observing the workings of the busy circus. Another part of her feelings stemmed from her observations of the attraction between Ben and her son. Debbie, who usually had fantastic 'gaydar' perceptions, had not recognized Professor Ben as a gay man at first. He was built like a rugged football player and showed no preferences when talking to either the male or female members of the company. Naturally her favorite gay boys, such as Michael and Emmett, drooled over the remarkably handsome newcomer, but Ben didn't seem to notice the flirting. 

All that changed a few days back when Mikey came strutting into her office with a cocky smile planted on his face. At first he teased his poor mother with hints that he had some big news that would really surprise her. After a couple of questions that only netted her a shaken head, she gave up and threatened to castrate her son if he didn't stop messing with her. Mikey only laughed, knowing his mom would cut off her own arm before hurting him in any way, and then spilled the beans. 

It seemed that he and Ben had been strolling around the circus grounds on this brisk, chilly mid-October night. They had been chatting about various subjects, mostly related to life in the circus, when they realized they had walked away from all the parked trailers and tents. They were at the edges of a large field and all alone. The wind had picked up and was blowing colder than when they had started out. Ben wore a heavy jacket but Michael only had on a thin windbreaker. His much smaller body began to shake as the wind cut through the flimsy material and pricked his skin with frigid air.

Ben noticed Michael's discomfort right away and proceeded to pull off his own jacket to offer to his companion. It was a gallant effort usually reserved for damsels in distress and Michael was impressed. He would have refused, but he was desperate. As Ben started to lay it around Mikey's shoulders, something seemed to spark between them. Without stopping to analyze what he was doing, Mikey stepped up on tip-toes and gave Ben a little kiss right smack dab on his full lips. The moment he pulled away, Michael felt panic. He winced as if waiting for Ben to slug him, but instead the older man drew Mikey into his arms and kissed him back. This time there was no hesitancy. It was the real thing and it made Michael's heart soar. It was all his fantasies rolled up into one. They kissed some more and talked some more. After parting ways Michael was in a hurry to make his announcement to Debbie. He was pretty sure of how she'd react.

He wasn't wrong. Debbie was overjoyed to have someone around who had distracted her son from his hopeless crush on Brian. It was doubly good news that the one who accomplished that feat was someone she completely approved of. Of course word spread like wildfire throughout the circus. By noon the next day everyone knew that the owner's son had found someone he liked in that 'special' way right there within their ranks. The fact that Ben was only temporary didn't matter. The news was certainly welcome by both Brian and Justin. Brian usually ignored Michael's constant longing looks and flirtatious attitude, but he had noticed how cool his old friend was to Justin as a result of his feelings and it bugged the flyer more than he cared to admit. 

In the month or so that Ben had been with the circus, Brian had spent more and more of his time in Justin's company. Much of that time was spent training Justin how to fly and use the trapeze equipment. The young man was improving at a steady pace. Brian was even beginning to wonder if Justin might be up to joining his troupe as a relief flyer during the next Season. He had asked Emmett to make a matching leotard and shirt of his favorite costume for Justin to wear as a joke, but was blown away by how good it looked on the young man when he tried it on. The tights revealed how muscular Justin was for an artist, not to mention how well it displayed his considerable assets below the waist. 

Once Emmett had his moment of pride in his work, and the chance to ooh and aah over how marvelous Justin looked in the outfit, Brian quickly convinced his friend to leave the trailer so that Brian could personally remove the costume from the young man. That was just one of the more and more frequent encounters the two men enjoyed while on the road. Of course, in their minds it was still nothing more than a great friendship with an extra bonus that included some very hot sessions of pleasurable fucking. They wouldn't even acknowledge the fact that Justin was sleeping in his assigned trailer less and less as the Season was coming to a close. They might not acknowledge the subtle change in his sleeping arrangements, but it had become common knowledge with everyone else. Behind their backs the whole company referred to Brian and Justin as a couple or boyfriends, depending on who was gossiping about them at the time. 

As their affair heated up, Debbie watched and prayed that Michael and Ben would enjoy the same fate. That was why the telegram made her so nervous. Ben had indicated that he wanted to stay with the circus all the way back to their home base in Florida and maybe even a bit longer. In the beginning Debbie was happy about their deal because Ben had paid a handsome sum for his upkeep and access to all the members of the company whenever they weren't busy with other things. Now she had a far more important reason for wanting Ben to stay. She knew if he left so soon after he and Michael had connected on a special level, then the chance was that they would never get together for real. It would be one more disappointment in her son's life, and she didn't want that. She was pondering how she would deal with Michael's reaction to losing Ben before they even got started when she realized that her son had answered her question.

"What? I'm sorry Sweetheart, my mind started wandering. I didn't catch what you just said."

"I said, Ben took a cab into town a couple of hours ago. He had some business to take care of. He should be back soon," Michael answered, sounding peeved that he had to repeat himself. Then he brightened a bit. "He asked me to go with him for a lunch date but I had too many things that I needed to get done. I asked for a rain check and he said 'of course'." Michael sounded a lot more cheerful when he recounted that part of his story.

"I'm sorry, dear. Whatever it was you needed to do could have waited I'm sure....but never mind. It's too late now. Do me a favor, will you? When he gets back and you see him, let him know I have something for him, and I need to see him right away."

"Sure Ma, whatever you say."

Michael didn't ask any questions and Debbie didn't feel like telling him about the telegram. She knew her son. Sometimes he could be a drama queen, and he would be even more certain it was bad news than she was. Best to leave it alone, she decided. She had plenty of other things to do to keep herself busy while waiting for Ben to get back. She decided to check on some of the practice sessions her merry band of performers were engaging in before tonight's show. She hurried off to the main tent.

Debbie smiled as she walked around the sawdust-laden floor of her huge tent. She glanced over at the rows of seats ten deep that started at the main opening and encircled the entire outer perimeter, with only a half dozen breaks between seats for other entrances and exits that were put to use by patrons and performers alike. She looked out into the vast expanse of the center of her tent. Her troupe hadn't taken on the three-ring circus aspect of business yet. She still liked the idea of focusing on only one major act at a time. She wanted every troupe to have their moment in the spot light. 

Different groups of performers had taken over separate areas of the floor for practice sessions. She could see the tumblers working hard only yards away from the jugglers. The horses were being put through their paces over to one side of the main arena, while the elephants followed their commands on another side. The wild cats were out at the moment. Their trainer preferred to do his work much earlier in the day when it was more peaceful inside the tent. The female aerialists who danced on the bars in the air were seen twirling as they hung from their perches. A trampoline act was bouncing all over the place. Simon and his wife, her dog trainers, were working with their happy band of perfectly-trained mutts, most of which were dogs they had rescued over the years from shelters. The clowns were practicing their routines over and over in an effort to make their acts seem effortless, so that the customers would never know how much hard work they really put into the controlled chaos of their performances.

Debbie's biggest smile was reserved for her favorite boy. She looked up high into the air so that she could watch Brian and his troupe with their practice swings. She half expected to see the pale, blond head of adorable Justin up there too but only saw the two sisters and veteran Robbie on the perch. Brian was swinging patiently while waiting for the girls to decide which move they would work on next. As Debbie watched, she saw Lisa, the older girl, give Brian a hand signal. He began to swing harder and dropped down with his knees hooked over the bar. Once he was in place and had the right speed, he clapped his hands which signaled Lisa to push off from her perch. A few swings later she let go and was caught perfectly by Brian. In the meantime Anna had taken the abandoned swing and followed her sister's move. A few more swings later and Anna let go at the exact moment Brian released Lisa. Timing was perfect as Lisa caught the abandoned swing and Brian caught Anna. Anna then twisted in the air and Brian let go so that she could join her sister on their swing. The girls returned to the perch. 

No matter how many times she witnessed it, Debbie was still in awe of the gracefulness her trapeze artists possessed. She hadn't failed to notice that Justin seemed to have that same innate sense of timing and gracefulness whenever she observed him practicing with Brian. Either Brian was one hell of a teacher or the young man was simply born with the skill. Either way, they looked good together up there in the air. She knew that Justin's artwork was still his favorite occupation and probably always would be, but she couldn't deny that he had some great skills in other avenues too. From the way that Brian spent all his time with Justin, she suspected he had more than one other skill, but that was none of her business. She didn't butt into the personal lives of her people....not unless it was absolutely necessary.

Debbie was about to go back to her office when she spotted the object of her thoughts sitting on a clown's barrel to the side of the trapeze netting. Justin had his artist's tote bag on his lap and was busily working on something with a large pad and charcoal pencil. She approached and could see that it was a drawing of Brian swinging out with his hands waiting to catch someone. The drawing was nearly complete and she could see the muscular strength in Brian's body and the obvious affection the artist had for his subject. 

"Very nice, Justin," she told the young man.

Justin jumped up, startled. The pad hit the dust. He had been so wrapped up in his drawing, he hadn't been at all aware that anyone else was around, even though the tent was filled with activity. He blushed slightly, as if caught thinking naughty thoughts.

"Tha...ahh, thanks Debbie," he returned. "I can't believe what an inspiration your entire company is for me. I'm getting as much hands-on education in becoming an accomplished artist as I would have received going to school. The only thing I'm missing is the study of art history," he laughed.

"Glad to help Sunshine," Debbie remarked, using a nickname she had picked up somewhere along the line. "You've been as much help to us as we've been for you, I can promise you that. As I told you earlier, our ticket sales have increased by nearly fifteen percent just since we started using your flyers and ad posters. And that doesn't count the fact that the clean-up crew has told me more than once that there are far fewer programs being discarded than ever before. Folks that keep old programs have a tendency to become repeat business. I'm really looking forward to next Season. I'm so glad you'll be with us most of that year. Of course you know you are most welcome to stay longer if you choose to," she added, hinting as strongly as she could.

Justin didn't respond to the hint, but she could see the wheels turning inside his head. She wouldn't be surprised at all if Justin decided to extend his stay with the circus, rather than return to school the following September. She suspected that it would please Brian if he did too. As she pondered the prospect of not losing Justin anytime soon, she heard her name being called. She turned and saw Ben coming towards her. She excused herself so that Justin could return to what he was doing and hurried over to meet Ben. The man was out of breath.

"Hey Debbie, Michael said you wanted to see me. He said you had something for me?"

"Yes, yes I do."

She pulled out the telegram from the back pocket of her overalls and handed it over to Ben. Debbie didn't say anything. She waited for Ben to leave with the envelope in hand, but he just stood there looking as if he was afraid to open it. He noticed that Debbie was staring at him and gave her a sheepish grin. 

"I was expecting this," he said nervously, lifting it up.

"Well I'll leave you alone with it," she promised, starting to move away.

"No...no wait! This will matter to you too. I sent in my preliminary chapters for the book. The publishers were not really sure whether they wanted to buy the book or not. I only have one other published work under my belt, and it wasn't exactly a barn burner. It sold enough to make back their investment with a few bucks for myself but it didn't live up fully to their expectations. They gave me a small advance for this new book, but it was conditional. Basically, there would be no more funds if they didn't like the early work. I have a feeling this is the answer to whether they'll go through with backing the research or drop me like a hot potato."

"Well then, there is only one way to know for sure," she stated. 

Ben nodded. He slowly tore open the envelope and pulled out the yellow sheet with the answer to his future. He read it over quickly, then read it again. Debbie held her breath. If Ben had to go back to work at the University and forget about the book for now, she knew that Michael would be devastated. She also had no desire to see Ben leaving. She had grown fond of him, just as she had so many of her other 'boys'. She held her breath, but began to smile as she noticed the big grin starting to spread over Ben's face. He let out a loud whoop and grabbed Debbie, swinging her around a couple of times before letting her go.

"They loved it!" he whooped. "They are depositing a healthy advance into my account immediately and waiting for more. They said this book should hit home with a ton of nostalgia buffs, not to mention families. Looks like you're stuck with me a bit longer Deb," Ben declared.

That suited Debbie just fine. It had been an amazing Season for the Novotny Family Circus and Debbie couldn't have been more pleased. Accidents, a common problem in the rough and tumble world of the circus, had been few. Employees were happy. Income was up. Most importantly, she had two new fellas that joined the company and were bringing a great deal of joy to her two favorite boys, Brian and Michael. Debbie was eager to see what would happen next. She expected nothing but good times ahead. She was only half right.

To be continued.....................

Brian and his crew took turns swinging high in the air several times before releasing the bar and somersaulting effortlessly to the net below. They each bounced a number of times before regaining their footing and hurrying to the edge of the net where they grabbed hold and flipped over onto the ground. Brian, being the leader, ended their act as the last to fall back to earth. Once all four members of the act were standing together, they clasped hands and raised them before taking their bows. The audience erupted in applause. The aerialists smiled broadly, welcoming the adulation. This was their last performance of the Season and they had hit every mark and maneuver perfectly. Brian looked over at the side entrance where Justin usually stood while waiting for the act to finish. He didn't see him anywhere. 

It wasn't uncommon for Justin to be tied up trying to complete an order for a drawing from a customer who hoped to get the finished work before leaving the circus grounds at the end of the show. It wasn't that difficult to accomplish since the drawings were usually simple pencil sketches and didn't require a lot of time. Occasionally Justin would get a special order from someone wanting an actual painting. At times like that, Justin would make a pencil sketch of what he would complete and then work on the painting during the day. Once a piece was finished he would either deliver it himself if they were still in town or have it delivered. His prices were so reasonable that he never had problems collecting his payments. When Brian didn't see Justin waiting for him, he figured the artist was busy completing a piece for a client. He was disappointed not to see him, but not particularly concerned. He would wait until the finale march around the ring that all the acts closed the show with and then find his 'good friend' for a little finale night celebration.

Brian took his final bow and followed behind his troupe as they hurried from the arena. All the acts were lined up outside the side entrance to the tent and once the musical cue for the final procession filled the night air, they began their traditional march into and around the perimeter of the center ring. The audience erupted into whistles and applause showing their appreciation for a job well done. It always made Brian feel special...all that adulation. Slowly but surely, visitors to the circus began to rise from their seats and hunt for dropped souvenirs and any wayward items their kids may have misplaced. Quarter-full paper cups were surreptitiously slipped further under seats so that they wouldn't have to be carried out. Jackets and coats were slipped on so that the cold air outside wouldn't be too much to handle. 

Once the troupe passed through the side exit, Brian's mind turned to the adulation of only one young man. Not that Justin worshipped at his feet...he was too grounded for that, but he did show signs of awe whenever he watched Brian performing his most dangerous stunts. Brian liked the feeling he got when he knew Justin was watching him. Right now he wanted very much to spend the short amount of time left to them with Justin before things grew hectic again for all the circus employees. Breaking down a circus...even a relatively smaller one like Debbie's...took a lot of time and energy and no one was allowed to sit on their butts unless they were half-dead from some ravaging disease. Within an hour of the last customer car leaving the parking lot, the employees would set to work dismantling everything and getting ready to leave town in the morning.

Brian had the feeling he would find the busy artist at his booth so he headed for the site without stopping to change into his street clothes. As he rounded the side of the tent to get to the main area set up for the booths, he heard raised voices. He instinctively picked up his pace. He spotted the trouble in less than a minute as he got closer to Justin's booth, and his temper rose instantly. A large man with beefy hands and fifty pounds of fat packed on his belly had those hands on Justin's collar and was spitting into the young man's face as he snarled out some drunken gibberish that Brian couldn't quite understand. 

Brian wasn't waiting for an explanation. It took him a split second to reach the two men and grab at the big man's arm in order to swing him around. The man was startled by the sudden interruption and let go of his hold on Justin's shirt. He sputtered out some curse words but Brian pushed him away so hard the man stumbled and fell to the ground. That was when Brian realized a woman with a pinched face, bleach-blonde hair, and huge boobs had been standing right next to the aggressive drunk, watching the whole thing. 

"Get up Earl, for fuck's sake. You gonna let this pansy in the fancy hose push you around," she screamed at her male companion. Her words were even more slurred than the man's.

Earl's face grew red. He started to rise when all of a sudden it became clear they had drawn a crowd, and most of them were circus folks. By the time Earl had regained his footing, he was completely surrounded by members of Brian's 'family'. Even drunk as a skunk, Earl knew when he was outnumbered. Justin stepped in beside Brian to explain what had happened.

"It's alright everyone," he announced while staring right at Brian, "this gentleman just got irritated when his lady friend here didn't like the drawing I made of her and he expected me to give it to him for free. I explained that he didn't have to pay me for my work but that meant he couldn't have the drawing. I'm afraid he didn't agree with me on the subject...." Justin paused for effect while scanning the crowd and then continued, "....but I'm sure he understands now. Am I right, Sir?"

Earl looked around at the faces of muscular roustabouts, performers, and clowns and quickly made a decision. He grabbed his girlfriend's arm and began dragging her away from the scene amidst her very vocal protestations.

"Shut up Elly! You said the drawing was a piece of crap, so why the fuck do you want it anyway? Let's go! I've had enough circus shit to last me a lifetime."

The two moved off as quickly as their stumbling legs could carry them. Brian looked around and thanked his friends for stepping in. He was pretty sure he could take the guy since he was barely sober enough to stand, but it never hurt to have the backing of one's friends. Once everyone had gone about their own business, Brian reached for Justin. He hugged him, then set him back so that he could look the young man over.

"Did he hurt you before I got here?"

Justin smiled. "My hero! And no, he hadn't gotten that far yet but I suspect he was working up to it. I guess I could have just let him have the damned drawing, but it's the principle of the thing. I tried to tell him nicely that he couldn't have it without paying, but that girl of his kept egging him on. I don't think he really cared but, she kept yelling at him. I'm thinking he just wanted me to give it to him to shut her up." Justin let out a laugh.

Brian scowled. It was obvious he didn't find the whole thing amusing at all.

"It's not funny, Justin. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes a visitor will buy one or two beers too many and do something stupid. We have had employees accosted before and seriously hurt. I don't want you trying to handle something like that by yourself again. That's what we have guys like Drew for. You see trouble starting, you call for help. That's what circus people do...we stand by each other."

Brian shuddered when he again pictured in his head the drunk with his hands so close to Justin's throat. Justin saw the reaction and laid his hand on Brian's shoulder. He stepped in closer and put his arms around Brian's waist, burying his face in Brian's chest. Brian pulled Justin's head up to face him. 

"I don't want anything to happen to you. I like having you around," he told Justin as he moved to kiss the blond with no concern over who might spot them. 

"I'll be more careful, Brian. I promise. I like being around you too...and our circus family too. I'm really looking forward to Florida and seeing just how you live...I mean how everyone lives when they are not on the road. It should be quite an education."

"Well I don't know how much of an education it will turn out to be for you, but I promise it won't be boring all the time," Brian declared. He gave a wicked little smile and continued. "I'll tell you what. Why don't you join me in my trailer while I change into street clothes and then we can come back out here to help everyone else get this place ready to move on?"

Justin nodded happily in agreement and followed Brian away from the dwindling crowd.

*****************************************************************

Ethan waited for the door to slam shut behind the frustrated man and then let out a torrent of curses. What did the incompetent jerk expect? He was no better than all three of his predecessors. Four detectives in less than six months and still no sign of Justin. It was as if the man had just been swallowed up by the earth. At least this latest detective had been able to get a tap on Justin's best friend's phone line, but despite frequent calls from Justin to Daphne there had never been enough conversation to zero in on where Justin was. They were too careful in what they said. 

The detective had used the latest equipment and his contacts to be able to narrow down where some of the longer calls were coming from, but it was never the same place. The only thing this detective had been able to accomplish that the others hadn't was proof that Justin wasn't staying put in any one town. He seemed to be bouncing all over the place. Ethan wasn't sure if that was because he was deliberately trying to hide his whereabouts or some other cause that he just hadn't figured out yet. Whatever it was, Ethan had reached his breaking point again. 

Ethan had sent the detective out to the last known city Justin was in but there had been no sign of the missing artist. The man had reported checking out every gay bar and joint he could think of, as well as every art center and/or museum in town. There had been nothing. If Justin was living in that city, he wasn't doing it using his own name. Ethan was totally confused. How the hell was Justin surviving? How was he making enough money to eat and keep a roof over his head? Nothing had surfaced concerning his art work. He wasn't producing any shows anywhere or selling his work in any gallery. The thought entered Ethan's mind that Justin must have latched on to some wealthy patron who was supporting him. His blood turned hot when he pictured Justin selling his body to some old lech in exchange for the good life and anonymity. Well if that was the case, he would need to be rescued and who better than himself to do it? 

Ethan smiled for the first time that day as he imagined Justin's gratitude when he found out that the man he had rejected so cruelly still wanted him and was willing to forgive all and take him back. No more living hand to mouth, or even worse...selling himself to someone who could never love him the way that he did. In the end, Ethan knew that Justin would be his again. He always got what he wanted, and he wanted nothing more than Justin in his bed where he belonged. All he had to do was to find Justin and make him see the truth. He would never quit looking...never!

****************************************************************

Kip closed the book he was reading and sipped at the last dregs of his drink. It was an unusually warm day for early Winter, even for Florida. That was why he decided to sit out by the pool for so long. His girlfriend, or rather the woman who was keeping him in the style he prized so highly, was out shopping. Probably for some nice new trinket for her favorite boy toy, which he would accept gracefully just before banging the living daylights out of the middle-aged widow. 

Kip had come to Florida for a specific purpose that had nothing to do with becoming a gigolo, but he had lucked out while working at the gym to keep money in the bank. Marta had latched onto him as her trainer the very first day he worked there. It had been almost a month and he was now firmly ensconced in her Pool House and her bed. It was a dirty job but someone had to do it, he figured. Besides, being kept by the old girl left him free to pursue more important things such as making plans for the day that the Novotny Family Circus returned to their home base for the Winter. Once he took care of things on that front, he would be free to gather all the money he had saved along with the expensive gifts Marta bestowed on him and move on to greener pastures. He could hardly wait for that day, but then again he was a patient man when he needed to be.

*****************************************************************

As one man was firing his latest detective and another was laying back on his chaise lounge to absorb the sun's rays, two other men were helping each other out of their clothes. As each article of apparel fell to the side, Brian and Justin stopped to kiss each other passionately with tongues dancing together and lips placing soft kisses in delicate spots. Within minutes they dropped to the floor together as Brian took possession of Justin's body. Their lovemaking was finely tuned by now and they anticipated each other's needs until they came together in an explosion of sharp breaths and deep grunts. As they lay entwined on the thick rug in front of the couch, waiting for heartbeats to return to normal so that they could re-dress and join their friends outside, they had no way of knowing that neither one of them was far from the thoughts of two very different men with very different goals. In this case, ignorance was bliss.

To be continued..........................

Justin dived as deeply as he could and used the pool bottom to launch himself up through the water like a hot knife through butter. He burst to the surface in a spray of water that covered Brian's entire head. The older man shook his head, droplets flying from his thick hair. He spluttered from surprise and grabbed for the blond, but lost his grip on Justin's slippery arm. The younger man swam a few feet away and turned back to laugh at his lover while he tread water just out of Brian's reach. He stuck out his tongue like a schoolboy egging on a rival. Brian turned his back as if to ignore the pesky kid, but his shoulders betrayed the suppressed laughter threatening to bubble to the surface. 

The sun was particularly strong on this wintry day in Florida, and even though the temperature of the air was a crisp sixty-eight degrees, the heated water of the apartment complex pool made swimming a comfortable pastime for its residents. A vapor of steam floated over the surface of the water where cool air met warm water, slightly veiling the couple from prying eyes, not that there were many of those. Brian had chosen his Winter residence with care and there were no children allowed so the complex was normally very quiet during the day, the adult residents off at work for the most part. Actually the units were gay friendly, which made the place even more desirable. Several of the other Circus performers also occupied units in the complex. 

To no one's surprise, Brian had asked Justin to move in with him as soon as the Circus caravan arrived at their Winter Quarters. His rationale as to how his only desire was to help the young man out with finances by sharing the expenses of his apartment didn't fool anyone, but no one would have voiced their opinion on the matter. Debbie's son, Michael, probably would have protested quite loudly but he had fallen quite hard for the handsome writer, Ben. He didn't seem quite as interested in sticking his nose into Brian's business as he had in the past. This pleased Brian a great deal, not to mention how happy it made Debbie and Uncle Vic. 

Normally most of their colleagues would be at the large sports center in town where many circus acts continued to practice their routines and prepare new parts to their acts in order to stay fresh in the public's eye, but Christmas was just around the corner so Debbie had given everyone a week off in order to prepare for the holidays or visit with family members outside of their circus lives. Half the acts had already left town. Brian had nowhere to go. He never left at this time of year, or any other time for that matter. Justin, of course, had nowhere he wanted to go either. Staying with Brian was more than satisfactory to him. 

The relationship between Brian and Justin had grown by leaps and bounds. They hadn't been in Florida that long and yet Brian felt strangely as if Justin had been living with him for years. It actually came as quite a surprise to the older man. He had long ago given up the idea of sharing his life in an intimate way with anyone. He told himself over and over that he was quite content as a swinging bachelor with no one around to answer to. Now he found he enjoyed the feeling of walking in the door and knowing that Justin would be there waiting for him. He even enjoyed it more when Justin would accompany him to the sports center where his troupe spent hours practicing. Sometimes Justin would even join in a bit of the practice sessions. When he only came to watch, Brian found himself working even harder just to impress the young man. Brian wasn't ready to admit what was really happening between them, but his actions spoke volumes. 

Today was a perfect example. Brian had hardly ever used the pool at his complex before Justin came into his life, but the young man loved swimming so Brian found himself joining Justin in the water whenever the weather permitted. As they splashed around in the warm water, Brian realized how young at heart he always felt when with Justin. All the jaded thoughts that once crowded his mind during his annual hiatus seemed to disappear. As for Justin, all he could think about was Brian. He was wise enough, despite his youth, to know what had happened to him. He had something to compare this relationship with. He now knew the difference between saying you loved someone and actually feeling it. With Brian, it was real...a little scary...but real, nonetheless.

Brian stood in the water with his back turned. Visions of Justin's naked body  entered his thoughts as he suddenly realized that Justin wasn't coming after him again. He had half hoped the blond would take advantage of his turned back to sneak up on him. He had prepared himself to spring into action and grab Justin before he could get away this time. He cautiously turned around to see where the blond was. He didn't see Justin anywhere. The misty fog hanging over the water obscured some of his vision at a little distance, but there was no sign of Justin. Seconds ticked by and Brian was getting nervous. He was just about to shout Justin's name when he felt hands grabbing onto his waist. 

Brian looked down and saw Justin's pale locks through the clear blue water. Without warning, he felt Justin's mouth clamp over his flaccid cock through the swim trunks he was wearing. Brian almost slid down into the water from the sheer shock of the action under the surface. At the same time, he let out a whoosh of air mixed with the undeniable sound of pleasure. It was hard to understand how Justin could remain underwater for so long. It had to be a full minute since he went under, at the very least. Another fifteen or twenty seconds flashed by in which Justin quickly sucked on Brian through the material. Finally he jumped back up to the surface, the water breaking over his sodden head. He flashed an evil little grin at Brian who responded by grabbing tightly onto Justin's waist and lifting him half out of the water, like one of the acrobats from the Circus. 

Now that Brian had Justin firmly in his grasp, he had no intention of letting go. He lowered the laughing young man back down until they were eye to eye. Brian then swooped in for a deep passionate kiss that went on and on. By the time that Brian finally released Justin, the young man's legs were too weak to hold him up. He slumped against Brian's chest and looked up contentedly into the older man's soulful eyes. 

"You had better not start something you are not willing to finish, my fine young friend," Brian warned Justin. 

"This shouldn't be a problem for me, old man," Justin teased back. "I'm quite capable of finishing anything I start. That is if you'll stop kissing me like that. I'm afraid I get a little weak in the knees when you do that and I might not be able to walk back up to your apartment."

"Our apartment," Brian corrected, sending a shiver of delight through Justin's heart. "And speaking of the apartment...I think I've had enough sunshine and water for one afternoon. But don't let me stop you from getting your exercise. You can stay and swim around as long as you like."

Brian started to pull away and turn towards the metal steps leading out of the pool when Justin restrained him. He turned back to face the young man.

"If you think you are going to leave me here alone where anything could happen without a lifeguard on duty, you are sadly mistaken, Brian Kinney. If you are getting out, I guess I'll just have to leave all this fun behind and join you instead."

Brian could hear the eagerness behind the sad-faced mask Justin tried to put on as he spoke. 

"Then let's go," Brian ordered, "before I change my mind and decide to pay you back for trying to drown me."

The lovers quickly moved to the steps and made fast work of towelling off and hurrying back to their shared apartment. The door had barely closed behind them when their sopping wet swim trunks lay at their feet and they were in a tight clinch, kissing deeply and repeatedly as their bodies warmed up inside and out. Before long, they were stretched out on the thick carpeting with Justin's leg high in the air as Brian pounded into him sideways with all the vigor his lust for the young man brought out in him. They were face to face, touching each other in the many spots they had come to discover caused maximum pleasure for one another. Eventually the room was filled with the sounds of their building excitement until they both came at almost the same moment and shouted out their reaction for all the world to hear, if the world had been listening.

They lay there fully spent and wrapped in each other's arms until a slight chill made goose bumps appear, dappling their skin. Brian pulled the soft multi-colored coverlet off the couch where it laid waiting for those nights when they would fall asleep while watching a television sitcom or detective series. Brian still mourned the loss of his favorite genre, the classic Western, and wouldn't have watched TV as often if Justin hadn't enjoyed it so much. He wrapped the blanket around them and they remained right where they were. In a few minutes, the exertion from the swimming and extra-curricular activity lulled them into a short nap. 

An hour later, the couple woke and took a hot shower together to ease the discomfort of their bodies from lying on the floor for so long and to clean off the chlorine from the pool. Justin fixed a quick snack and they settled down at the kitchen table. As they sipped on the strong coffee Brian had brewed, they began to talk about their plans. Brian was particularly proud of Justin because of the offer he had recently received from a small, but very popular gallery in town. 

Somehow, word had spread among the Circus community, which included quite a number of different organizations, about the young artist who was bringing in quite a tidy income for the Novotny Family Circus through his drawings and paintings being sold to customers visiting the show. That led to a visit from the uncle of one of the performers from a rival Circus. The man owned a small art gallery that specialized in undiscovered young talent. A new show was being held right after the New Year and he wanted to take a peek at the work of this young man who, it was rumored, had increased the revenue of his Circus just from his advertising graphics, not to mention his artistic works. Once Justin showed off some of his pieces that he had not sold, the older man quickly asked Justin to submit some of his pieces for the new show.

Justin had been hesitant at first. He knew he had talent, but his work was untrained and he wasn't certain he was ready for a genuine art show. It was more like playing when he drew his pictures to sell at the Circus. Even the work he had done for Debbie to advertise the shows and the acts had been more like a favor than something he thought of as an artist's work. When Brian sensed Justin's hesitation, he stepped in to reassure Justin that he was as talented an artist as any man on the planet. Brian's faith in him carried the day for Justin and he finally acquiesced. As they sat at the table on this December afternoon, they talked about the ordinary things that couples would when comfortable with each other. Brian described some of the new moves he was considering for his act and Justin talked about the subjects for his upcoming artwork for the show. Pride in one another enfolded them in comforting arms. Nothing could mar their sense of security in each other.

*******************************************************************************

Miles away from where Brian and Justin were discussing their plans for the immediate future on this mild Winter day, another man was freezing his ass off waiting in his vehicle for his latest detective to show up. This guy was his fifth detective, but he had high hopes for this one. He had called Ethan earlier sounding very excited about something. Ethan had ordered him to come right over to the apartment to pass on what he had discovered, but the man had errands to run. He had offered to stop by later that afternoon, but Ethan was in a hurry. He agreed to meet the guy at a park half-way between their two locations. Ethan didn't appreciate being put out in such a way, but if the news was worth it, he would be forgiving. 

Ethan was just about to turn the car engine on again in order to run the heater once more when he spotted the detective's car through an open spot on the snow-covered windows. He welcomed the heat as it filled the interior of the car. He waited for the man to park his car and run skittering over to Ethan's vehicle. The older man slid into the seat beside Ethan and blew into his hands, trying to warm them up. He was extremely skinny and looked as if a strong gust of wind would blow him away. He wrapped his jacket tighter around his chest and turned to Ethan with a self-satisfied smirk on his pinched face. 

"Well?" Ethan asked, not wasting time on civility.

"Well, Mr. Gold, I think I've found your friend."

He paused for dramatic effect, prompting Ethan to lose his temper.

"For fuck's sake, quit dragging it out. Did you find Taylor or not?"

The detective's head snapped up. It was obvious that his client wasn't a man who liked to play games. He decided to get right to the point...a good idea given his client's attitude. 

"If this guy is the same Justin Taylor, then yes, I've found him. From what I was able to gather from an associate, he fits the general description you gave me. It's really too bad that you told me you destroyed all the photos you had of him, but my associate is willing to try and get a photo of the guy for you to check out. He's going to have it sent to me by UPS."

"So, where the hell is he and how did you find him?"

"He's in a small town near Tampa in Hillsborough County, Florida. I had been keeping a close watch on art showings for up and coming young artists and found a story on this one place that has an annual show. It listed the artists for the new show and one of the names was Justin Taylor. It could be a coincidence but that's when I had another detective I know from the area check it out. He obtained the description of the young man from the Director of the gallery the showing will be held in and it fit the info you gave me. So, I presume you want him to get a photo of the young man?"

Ethan's voice shook with excitement. What the fuck did he think he wanted? This was the first bit of good news in half a year. He forced himself to remain as calm as possible when he answered the moron.

"Of course I want a picture....just to make sure we have the right guy, but how many blond boys with artistic talent named Justin Taylor could there be out there? Florida, you say? What the hell is in Florida, besides too much sun and oranges?" 

"I don't know, Sir, but once you've confirmed his identity from the photo, I'll go down there myself and check it out. The showing is in less than three weeks, so I'll have time to get some answers if I ask the right questions. It will look innocent enough. This young man wants attention for his work or he wouldn't have agreed to be a part of the show. I'll just act like an interested art critic or connoisseur."

Ethan smiled for the first time. There was something almost feral about the way his face changed when he contemplated finally coming face to face with Justin again and showing him that he couldn't hide from the one man who loved him enough to search everywhere for him. Maybe then he would stop fighting the inevitability of their relationship. The detective felt a chill that had nothing to do with the small snowstorm outside. He wondered what his client was thinking that made him look so strange. Well, it wasn't any of his business. He was getting paid quite a lot of money to find a young man, not ask why. 

Once the detective slipped out of his car and hustled as fast as his long legs could take him to his own vehicle, Ethan put his car into 'drive' and pulled away from the curb. As he drove himself back to his apartment through the gray-white snow-filled streets, he smiled again. Almost....he was almost within reach of his goal. In less than a month, he expected to be lying next to Justin and making the stubborn young man his once again. He knew that Justin would be grateful once he accepted his fate. Soon he would be a happy man again...both of them would.

To be continued....................

Brian tilted his head a little to the left and smiled to himself. Justin had done a remarkable job of capturing his likeness on canvas. He had even caught the varied nuances in the kind of eye contact Brian was known for when he looked at someone...a direct look that revealed whatever mood he was in with clear honesty. It was quite obvious to even the most casual observer that the model was looking at someone he felt great affection for as the artist painted his portrait. Brian continued to stare at the painting, which had him laying completely naked on his side in a bed and about to take a bite from an apple in his hand as he stared out from the canvas at some unseen person. He was so absorbed in his image and his memories of the many hours he spent posing for Justin, that he didn't hear approaching footsteps until it was too late.

"I've seen you naked quite a few times and I think Justin may have exaggerated just a little bit," came a voice behind his shoulder.

Brian whirled around and found himself facing at least a dozen of his friends and co-workers from the Company. Michael was at the head of the crowd with Ben on one side and Debbie and Vic on the other. Mikey had a crooked grin on his face which took some of the sting out of his comment, but Brian wasn't concerned about it anyway. He knew what he had to offer and had never been insecure in that department. He glanced around at the group which included the members of his troupe, Justin's former trailer mates, and several others from the show. They all had big smiles on their faces. Brian was proud of them for coming en masse to support one of their own, which Justin had certainly become since joining the circus more than six months earlier. 

"Envy is very unbecoming, Mikey," Brian laughed.

"Hummphhh," retorted Michael.

Ben leaned over and gave Michael a little peck while wrapping his strong arm around his lover's shoulder. 

"Don't worry, Michael. I love you just the way you are."

This caused a huge snort from half the crowd, including Debbie, which brought about a sharp reddening of Michael's face. He was about to splutter out some comeback when Justin walked up behind Brian with the owner of the gallery in tow. He was far too happy to notice, or care, what was going on among his friends. He could hardly wait to tell Brian his big news. Justin interrupted the exchange between the two men by tapping Brian on the shoulder to get his attention. When Brian turned back around to see that it was his boyfriend who had tapped him, he immediately broke into a wide grin.

"You certainly did a good job of bringing out all my best features," he announced modestly to the artist. "So, how is the show turning out?" he asked the owner of the gallery. "Is our boy here as big a hit as we expected?"

The owner slapped Justin on the back and announced that he was more than satisfied with the responses Justin's work was receiving. He waved his hand at the large crowd of buyers, gawkers, and press that filled the multiple rooms of the gallery. Most were still peering at the various paintings by at least a half dozen young artists who were featured in the show, even though the show was nearly over. 

"I've gotten three times as many inquiries into Justin's work than the others so far," the owner informed the group who had gathered around the young man. "He's a natural-born artist with a true gift. I predict he'll go far in the Art World with just the right help. I've already told him that I would be proud to display more of his work in the future and sell pieces for him. Then I can brag about giving him his start when he becomes as famous as Warhol or O'Keeffe."

"Does this mean you might want to stay in town once we hit the road again for our next tour, Justin? We would certainly miss your bright smile if you decided to leave us," Debbie asked with genuine concern in her voice.

The smile fell from Justin's face. He hadn't even thought about not going with the Company when they set off in a month or so. The idea of not being with Brian while he was on the road traveling was the furthest thing from his mind, as well as unthinkable. Last Summer he would have jumped at the chance to settle down far from his old life and make a living as a real artist, but he had other priorities now. Last Summer he had no thought of finding real love for the first time. He wasn't about to give that up. He looked at Brian's face to see his reaction to Deb's question. His face had closed off just enough to make it hard to gauge his reaction. He looked back at Debbie. She was waiting for an answer.

"Are you kidding me, Deb?" 

He waved his arm at the half a dozen paintings on the wall that belonged to him. They were all paintings involved with the circus except for the one distinct one of Brian.

"Where do you think I get all my ideas from? If I left the circus, wherever would I find a more colorful and exciting inspiration for my best work?"

"Not to mention his favorite model," Emmett muttered under his breath, flashing a toothy grin.

Justin noticed the smile returning to Brian's face when he spoke. It pleased him. 

"Well, I'd better see to our customers. We'll be closing the doors in less than a half hour and we don't want to neglect any future buyers now, do we?" remarked the owner.

He slapped Justin on the back again and moved off, heading for a large group who were talking excitedly about some of the work they had seen. Justin's friends gathered even closer around the young man and chimed in with their congratulations on the successful showing of his work. A few of them expressed their pleasure that he wasn't thinking about leaving the Company just yet. Debbie gave him a tight hug and promised he wouldn't regret staying with them a bit longer. He accepted all the praise with a humble attitude and waited until the last of his friends had stepped away before turning his attention back to Brian.

"So, are you proud of me too?"

Brian didn't answer right away. He leaned against a small table set up with a tray of drinks that was next to Justin's artwork and stared at the young man who had become so important to him. He hadn't said it out loud, but he knew in his heart that it would have been a blow to him if Justin had answered that he wanted to stay in town. As a matter of fact, he had been enjoying his time with Justin so much he hadn't even considered the possibility of the young man not being with him. Now he had to admit that the thought was a little scary. He had come to rely on Justin for companionship and affection, something that he had never thought he would need to make his life worthwhile in the past.

The seconds ticked by and Justin was beginning to get nervous. Had he misread the look on Brian's face when it came up about him not going on the next tour? He had let himself believe that Brian hated the idea by the look on his face when he said he was staying with the Circus, but now he wasn't saying anything. He couldn't take the uncertainty any longer.

"What's wrong, Brian?"

Brian pulled Justin close to him and stopped any more words with a deep kiss. He let his lips linger for some time, tasting the sweetness of Justin's mouth. He let his lover loose finally and held Justin at arm's length.

"There's nothing wrong, Sunshine. And yes, I'm extremely proud of you. I'm just wondering why you don't want to stay here and continue to paint in a quiet environment, without the stresses of working the circus. I mean you can paint anything. I've seen that. You don't need the circus to be inspired."

"No, but I need the people that matter to me to inspire me....and Brian, you inspire me the most. Don't you know that? You're my muse. I don't think....no, I know I could never find another muse that would make me feel as if I could do anything like you do. Not in this town, or anywhere else. But I won't burden you with my presence if you are getting tired of me," he added with some fear. 

Brian pulled Justin back into his arms. 

"You little idiot! Of course I want you with me. I just don't want you making sacrifices for me. You're just getting started, and I want you to have everything you want out of life. I don't want to stand in your way."

"And what if everything I want in life includes being with someone I can love with my whole heart, and that I believe loves me the same way?"

Brian paused for a second and then said, "Then I want you to have that too."

The two kissed again, this time with even more warmth. Anyone with half a brain could see that there was something special going on between the two men. That included the skinny man with graying hair and a pinched face standing yards away, watching every move between the blond artist and his friends. He carried his ID, which recognized him as a licensed private investigator, but to the owner of the gallery he was just another interested customer. The fact that he had so many questions about the young artist, Justin Taylor, didn't cause any red flags to fly. A large number of the customers and browsers in the gallery on this night were asking about him too.

Brian and Justin never even noticed the skinny man in the ill-fitting business suit. He was a complete stranger. Only Justin would have been unhappy to know that the two of them knew someone in common. There was, however, someone else at the gallery that would have been recognizable to the other half of the couple. His name was Kip and he had been keeping a close watch on the goings-on of his former employer and her employees. A little snooping and the usual gossip among circus folks had given Kip a wealth of knowledge about the newcomer to the Novotny Family Circus and his special relationship with the star trapeze artist. 

Once Kip heard about Brian's boyfriend, and the kid's work as an artist, Kip's mind began to swirl with ideas of how to pay Brian back for messing up his career. After Brian had gotten him fired, he hadn't stopped there. The word had leaked out about Kip's less than professional behavior, and he hadn't been able to get a decent job with any other circus since. He placed all the blame on Brian Kinney. When he found out about the showing of the boyfriend's work at the gallery, Kip had no problem persuading Marta, his meal ticket, to enjoy a night out at the gallery. The much older woman fancied herself an art expert. She loved the idea of showing off with her handsome, younger stud in tow. 

Kip made it a point to avoid Brian and the others from the Circus who had shown up to show their support, but he really didn't care if they saw him or not. Tonight was not the night for payback. Kip was, if nothing else, a very patient man. He would have to plan his moves carefully. He had no intention of letting himself get caught doing something rash or stupid. When he was through, Brian Kinney would know what it felt like to lose everything. That was what was important.

As their old lives swirled around them, threatening to blow their happiness out of the water at any moment, Brian and Justin basked in the glow of success and contentment with each other. All they could see was a bright future in which neither man would ever have to be alone again. That was enough to send them out when the showing ended for the night with a huge smile on their faces and an eagerness to get home so that they could celebrate Justin's triumph in their own special way. For Brian and Justin, ignorance was bliss...and they reveled in it.

To be continued....................    

Justin stood on the platform and tried hard to get a grip on his nerves. He was a lot better at flying in the air than he had been months ago, but it still didn't come naturally to him. The only time he felt really comfortable was the second that Brian's strong hands grasped his in mid-air and held on tight. Somehow he knew that Brian would never let him go, not even with the safety rope keeping him from plunging downward unexpectedly. The two had made a deal some time ago that Brian would co-operate by modelling for Justin and in exchange Justin would let Brian teach him how to fly. Justin had actually gotten fairly good at it despite his nerves, but they had never practiced anything too complicated. 

The troupe was about to hit the road again. Their short vacation hiatus from travelling was rapidly coming to a close. A part of Justin was excited. He would go anywhere with Brian. He also enjoyed the adventure of seeing new places and new faces every week. He loved selling the drawings at his little booth on the Midway. He did have dreams of being a recognized artist someday, but he was not in that big of a hurry. He was barely into his twenties and felt he had plenty of time to be a big shot in the Art World later on. Being Brian's partner and spending time with his Circus family was more than enough for the time being. Justin had ambitions, but he had never cared that much about money or status. 

Brian's crew only had a couple of weeks left to fine tune their new routines and hone their old ones to perfection before the Circus was scheduled for their first gig of the new Season. They had spent the entire day working hard when Brian had finally declared that he was satisfied and let them head home. That was when Justin arrived to pick Brian up. Brian had left him his car in the morning so the young man could keep a couple of appointments he had made with clients who had loved his work at the art exhibit weeks earlier. As soon as he waved good-bye to the last of Brian's fellow performers who were passing him as they left the huge gym that housed the training equipment, he was swept up into Brian's arms and warmly welcomed.

Justin excitedly told Brian about the two new commissions he had received from clients. One was from an elderly couple who had their first date at the circus when they were still in their teens. They had a nostalgic feel for the circus and asked Justin to incorporate it into the theme of their painting, leaving it up to him to decide how he would go about it. The other was a rather tense-looking older man who simply claimed he liked the way Justin captured animals. He asked for a jungle-like painting using lions, tigers, and elephants. He flashed a lot of money, just as the older couple had, so Justin agreed to get it done. Neither of the patrons was in a hurry, so it seemed a sweet deal. Brian felt that familiar surge of pride that Justin often brought out in him. 

It didn't take much persuasion outside of a few hot kisses for Brian to talk Justin into a few more practice moves on the trapeze. Now he found himself looking out across the distance at Brian masterfully swinging upside down from his perch and waiting for Justin to launch himself into thin air. Justin took a deep gulp of air and grabbed the bar with his free hand. As he looked out towards his target, he sent up a quick prayer that he would not miss letting go at the right moment this time and waited for the swing to finish its forward move before moving backwards again. His body flew forward and then back. He then arched his body in order to provide the momentum needed to fling himself forward again with more force. He repeated the motion a second time and on the third forward swing he launched himself into the air after releasing the bar. He did a single flip and then stretched his hands out in front of him. 

He felt, more than saw, the impact as Brian's strong hands grasped a firm hold of his wrists and hands and held tight. They both continued swinging backwards and then began to move forward together. Brian pulled Justin upwards, the well-developed muscles in his arms straining. He brought Justin's face up to meet his and surprised Justin by placing a fast, hard kiss on Justin's mouth. Their swinging motion became shorter and shorter as Brian repeated the kiss several times. Once the swinging had slowed considerably, Brian instructed Justin to let go, telling him he would meet him on the net. Justin gave Brian a bewitching smile and did as he was told. He fell to the netting, his safety harness making it a smooth descent. 

Once Justin reached the netting, he unbuckled the harness and moved from the center of the netting so that Brian could make his drop safely. Brian couldn't resist showing off for his young lover. He performed several flips over his bar before releasing and dropping to earth. He wasn't wearing the same harness as Justin so he fell much quicker and bounced twice before coming to a full stop on his feet. He ran across the netting to the edge where Justin waited with eyes wide. Even though he had watched Brian countless times before, he was still in awe of the man's physical prowess and skills. Sometimes he still couldn't believe that this magnificent creature was his to love and admire. 

Once Brian reached Justin, he lowered himself to the netting beside his lover. Normally the two of them would have grabbed the edge of the netting and flipped over it to reach the ground but Brian had other ideas. The entire gym seemed to be totally deserted now. There was not a soul in sight. Brian couldn't let the opportunity pass. He had never even considered making love to someone on the net. But here he was, all alone with the one man who made his heart race just with his smiles. He would be a fool to pass up the opportunity. The cleaning crew wasn't expected for hours and no one else had permission to use the gym while Debbie's circus performers were in town. 

Without saying a word, Brian pulled Justin away from the edge of the net and down into his arms. He began kissing Justin with far more passion than he had risked using while in the air. He forced Justin's lips to part with his persuasive tongue. In no time at all Justin was gasping for air and feeling his heart beating wildly inside his chest. The blood was pumping, racing to every extremity, causing tingles all over. Brian continued his assault on Justin's mouth until his lips began moving all over the young man's face and neck. His lips and tongue tasted the sweet flesh of Justin's upper torso while his hand traveled down to the burgeoning bulge in the middle of the tights Justin had changed into before climbing the ladder to the platform above. 

Brian played with the bulge, feeling it growing against his palm. Justin couldn't control the soft moans that began to escape from him as he felt the exquisite torture of Brian touching him in his most sensitive spots. Suddenly Brian sat up on his knees, the thick netting barely moving with him. He crouched above Justin and then grabbed the young man's tights at the waist-band. He pulled the tights down just enough to expose the beautiful package that was begging for release. Brian bent down again and clamped his mouth over the weeping cock that was now standing at full attention. 

It didn't take Brian long to bring Justin to full climax. The blond let out a deep moan of pure pleasure as Brian worked his skillful magic on his young lover. Brian gulped down his reward and then gave Justin a Cheshire grin of pride. He knew he had more than satisfied Justin. He fell over onto his side.

"My turn," he announced.

Justin didn't need to hear it repeated. It would be his pleasure to return the favor. He yanked his tights back up and watched as Brian lowered his just enough. Time passed as Justin proved that he was just as skilled in this arena as Brian was. He would never be the aerialist that Brian was, any more than Brian would ever be the painter that he was, but this was one thing they were equals in. They both were expert at pleasing their man, especially when it was accompanied by so much love. Once Brian reached his climax, the two lay side by side for a while and basked in the afterglow of satisfaction. Life couldn't be better. They expected it to be this good for a very long time. As they lay there, gathering the energy to get down and go home, they wondered what kind of adventures awaited them on the road this coming Season. There would be quite a few, but only time would tell how they would feel about them.

*****************************************************************

Kip checked out the ad in the paper for the first engagement scheduled for the Novotny Family Circus. It wasn't far from their home base and would give Kip the chance to leave Marta for a short time without her getting too nosy about where he was going. He had finally decided what he would do to pay Kinney back for messing up his life. The bastard had robbed him of his future career and it was time to take something important away from Kinney. His original thought was to hurt the man personally...to fix it so that Kinney could never fly again just as the man had done to him by having him blacklisted within the circus community. Now he had a better plan. 

Kip had been surprised to see how much Kinney had changed since he had left the company. The old Brian had no vulnerable weak spot where another human being was concerned. He got along really well with everyone, but no one was that special to him. It left no one for Kip to strike out at in order to hurt Kinney. Apparently all that changed when the blond kid entered the picture. It was very clear to Kip that Brian Kinney had fallen in love with someone at last. Too bad for this Justin Taylor kid...he had picked the wrong man to fall for. Kip now knew that there was someone who mattered to Kinney and it would devastate him if he was hurt, especially by something he had done. 

Kip had been spying on Brian ever since the troupe had arrived in town. Once he learned about Taylor, he had kept a watchful eye on him too whenever possible. Luckily for him, Kip had all the time he needed to do his undercover work thanks to Marta's generous support. The one thing that he learned which was most valuable to him was that Kinney loved showing off his talent by including the Taylor kid in high-flying lessons. 

That very training was the key to paying the man back. If he could manage it, Kip had every intention of creating a little accident for Taylor that would be blamed on Kinney. He had started hiding in the gym used for practice sessions in order to scope things out, including the evening that he spied Kinney and Taylor going at it right out in the open while still nestled inside the trapeze netting. It was more proof that the blond was the way to strike at Kinney. Now that he knew what he was going to do, all he needed was the perfect opportunity to do it. That was why he was following the circus when they left town. If he was lucky, he would get the job done at the first stop and be back with Marta within days. Soon he would have enough funds to dump the old girl and really start a new life. He could hardly wait to put his plan into motion.

*****************************************************************

The old detective handed over the copious notes he had taken of his time in Florida. He could see the change in demeanor that washed over his client as he perused the information he was reading. The experienced detective knew enough about human nature to recognize when his client got to the part of the notes that detailed one event in the relationship between Justin Taylor, his client's target, and the older man he was living with. A bright-red stain appeared on both cheeks of his client as he read the words that confirmed the close bond between Taylor and Brian Kinney, the trapeze artist. 

A choking sound escaped Ethan's throat. This was even worse than he had anticipated. Once he had received the photo of Justin from his detective's pal in Florida, he knew he needed to find out more about what Justin had been up to since leaving Pittsburgh. He sent his man to Florida to scout out the situation. The news had not been good from the very beginning. The reports he got back, especially after Justin's art showing at the gallery which his detective had attended, were full of crazy talk about Justin and some guy whom he was obviously involved with. Ethan had gone into a rage, slamming the phone down after that conversation with the detective. The image of some older man hanging all over his Justin was almost too much to bear.

Ethan had forced himself to remain in control until he could get a more in-depth report on this new man in Justin's life. Apparently the guy was some kind of star of a travelling circus and Justin worked for the same circus as an artist in the Midway. It was demeaning for his 'boyfriend' to be doing something so trivial when he had all this talent just waiting to be discovered. Ethan was certain that Justin would see the error of his ways once he realized that he could use Ethan's wealth and connections to further his career as a real artist and not some petty sketch artist in a fifth-rate circus. But first he needed to find out just how serious the relationship had become between Justin and this man on the flying trapeze.

Eventually the detective reported back that the circus was about to end their hiatus in Florida and begin to tour again. Ethan ordered the detective back home with a final report. In addition, he had the man commission a painting from Justin as a client so that he would have an excuse to keep in touch with the artist while he was travelling. Ethan gave the detective a sizable chunk of change to pay for the painting, thus ensuring that Justin would take on the commission. Once Ethan saw the final report, he was furious. Not only was Justin playing around with this Brian Kinney character, he was also living with him. Ethan had hoped at first that they were simply good friends, but one report of an observation the detective made of the two of them inside a work-out gym the circus used for practice sessions dispelled that theory instantly. The report was cut and dried without any fancy language, but the image it brought to mind for Ethan was almost more than he could take. There was no longer any way to deny that his Justin and this Brian were lovers.

Well, that would have to change. Ethan Gold wasn't giving up on Justin. The man belonged to him, not some third-rate flyer in sparkly tights with nothing to offer someone who was going places. It looked like Ethan was going to the Circus, but he intended to bring home more than a balloon and souvenir booklet.

To be continued.....................

Emmett put the finishing touches on Brian's newest costume and draped it over the chair. He got up to grab a beer from the small fridge of their trailer. Drew, his boyfriend stepped out of their bedroom and made his way forward so he could join Emmett. Anticipating Drew's wishes, Emmett turned back to the fridge and grabbed a second bottle. He handed it over to Drew who thanked him with a sloppy kiss. This was their second week back on the road and they had plenty to accomplish in order to fine-tune all the problems that inevitably popped up during their first week of performances. They would be moving out and heading for their second booking in just a few hours.

For Emmett, most of the work that needed to be done consisted of fixing the usual costume malfunctions and repairing torn or damaged costumes. All the costumes had their own special truck that contained every piece of wardrobe. Emmett usually did most of his work in the specially-equipped truck, but when they were moving he always kept the most important pieces in his private trailer. The royal red and silver suit he was working on now was a particular favorite of his because of the way it hugged every inch of Brian's body. It looked just as good on the rest of the flyers, but Emmett had a soft spot for Brian. Some of the sequin work on the shirt had been damaged during the act and that was why he was hard at work on it now. 

Drew hurriedly gulped down the last drops of his beer. He had taken a brief break, but it was time for him to get back to the job of closing everything down and making sure all of it was packed away properly for the journey. There was little left to do. The tents had been struck and all the booths broken down and stored away in their own truck. He was glad he didn't need to deal with the animals. Some of them had been more restless than usual lately and had given their handlers a few problems. They kept acting like something was spooking them. Drew didn't mind the extremely hard labor that came with the job of roustabout but he wasn't so fond of the task of cleaning up after the animals. Of course, one of the perks of being the head roustabout was the right to assign some of the less pleasant tasks to others. Naturally that included mucking up after the menagerie.

Drew gave Emmett a quick peck on his sweaty forehead and headed for the door to the trailer. He was just about to push it open when the door was pulled from the outside. Ted, their roommate stepped through the door. He had closed up the books in Debbie's makeshift office trailer for this leg of their tour and made his way back to his own trailer to see if he could connect with his own boyfriend, Doc Blake. Neither of them had any more duties for the night and he was hoping he could talk Blake into making one last quick trip into town. Ted loved his job ever since he had answered the ad for an accountant almost fifteen years earlier. He had just been fired from his old job when his boss found out he was gay. It was perfectly legal because there were no protections in the law to prevent discrimination against gays. He did miss staying in one place, however. He liked going into town even more than most of the troupe because he could pretend he belonged there for just a little while. Blake understood and usually went along with him to keep him company.

Ted was disappointed when Emmett informed him that he had no idea where Blake was, but Drew interrupted in order to let Ted know that he had seen the good Doc taking care of a minor mishap involving the trapeze rigging. Ted's furrowed brow indicated his concern. Emmett was ticked off that Drew hadn't mentioned it when he first came into the trailer. Drew immediately calmed both men down by letting them know that nobody was hurt badly except for a couple of bruises on Anna, one of Brian's flyers. Apparently she had climbed the rigging that led to her perch so that she could get in a little practice with Robbie catching her. The two had formed a close bond and loved working together, using any excuse to spend more time with each other. 

Drew hurriedly apologized for failing to mention it, thinking that small mishaps were nothing new within the circus, and ran out the door to complete his job. Ted settled down next to Emmett and the two chatted while Emmett worked on another costume that needed tweaking. Both men were surprised to hear about the accident. Brian was a stickler for keeping all the trapeze equipment in perfect working order, checking everything out for himself even after the riggers had done their job. The two men finally decided that even the 'great' Brian Kinney was only human. They were just glad that no one was hurt badly. 

************************************************************

Brian's head fell back onto the cushion of his sofa, and he let out a loud whoosh of air from his lungs which he had been holding in tightly as his body reacted to the building orgasm Justin was stimulating for him. Justin's blond head moved rapidly in a piston-like manner as he ran his lips up and down Brian's turgid cock, using his tongue to tease the thick vein on the underside. He could feel Brian's body tensing up for the big moment through his mouth and his hands, which rested on Brian's muscular thighs. This had become almost a ritual experience after every show, and it still had its place even though they had lots to do before moving on to their next destination. It didn't bother Justin one bit that it was Brian's turn tonight. He was more than happy to be either giver or receiver. Besides, he knew he'd get his turn once they arrived where they were going. Brian always played fair when it came to lovemaking.

Justin rose to join him on the sofa once Brian had his moment of extreme pleasure. Brian wrapped his arm around Justin and pulled him even closer. The two men kissed deeply, their tongues seeking out one another. Justin laid his head against Brian's chest and listened to the comforting beat of his lover's heart. It was still pumping hard from his exertion, but Justin could feel it calming down. He sighed with a deep sense of contentment. Life simply couldn't get better than this. He had a job that he loved to perform, people he loved being around, and Brian. What more could a young man want? Somehow he just knew his Mom would have been happy for him. He knew his father would be outraged, but that didn't matter one tiny bit. He was happier than he ever thought he could be.

"Penny for your thoughts," Brian interrupted.

Justin looked up into Brian's gorgeous eyes. 

"I'm not sure they're worth that much," he laughed.

"Don't sell yourself short, Sunshine. Your thoughts are worth a fortune to anyone who cares about you."

"And you?" Justin asked.

"Me, most of all," Brian declared with pride. "Haven't you figured out yet that I care about you more than anything else in the world?"

Justin's chest swelled with emotion. It wasn't that Brian hadn't already stated his feelings and certainly proven how much he loved him, but every time he heard it again he felt a renewed sense of pride. He had heard enough from the others in the company to know that Brian wasn't the type to speak casually about such things. He had a reputation for never having more than one-night stands before now, so Justin knew that Brian's commitment to him was genuine and heartfelt. 

Justin hardly ever thought of Ethan any more. He was a mistake from the past, but the man suddenly popped into his head. He reminded himself how lucky he was to have found someone who only had his best interest at heart. Brian would have willingly stepped back and let Justin go if he had wanted to remain in Florida to pursue his career. Brian only wanted Justin to be happy and successful. Ethan would have had a fit and done whatever it took to keep his lover locked away and close at hand. Brian would never hold Justin back in any way. Brian never showed jealousy when Justin commented on some good-looking guy. He felt secure in Justin's feelings for him. It was just one of the ways that Justin knew how fortunate he was to be rid of Ethan. As long as he had Brian, he need never worry about men like Ethan messing up his life again. With that thought, Justin dismissed Ethan from his brain and snuggled even closer to Brian.

The two men sat in comfortable silence together for long minutes. They were just about to get up so they could finish the task at hand of preparing to move on when they heard the knock on their trailer door. Brian threw on his pants and answered the door. It was Lisa, Anna's sister, and she was clearly upset. She had come to let Brian know about Anna's accident. Brian was well aware of the blossoming relationship between Robbie and Anna. He knew they often flew together when they had time. It reminded him of the closeness he felt with Justin when they were teaming in the air. He didn't mind them using the trapeze for themselves if he didn't need it to spend time with Justin. It just bothered him that something like this could happen on his watch. He always felt responsible for the equipment and his team. 

Brian left Justin to take care of securing the trailer while he made his way quickly to the main tent. The roustabouts were striking the tent. The trapeze equipment had already been lowered and prepared for packing. Brian had wanted to see for himself what had gone wrong but he would have to wait until they reached their new destination. He talked with Doc Blake and Robbie and was reassured that the fall hadn't been too serious. A few scrapes and bruises was all Anna sported....no broken bones or necks. Brian was clearly relieved. As he slowly walked back to his trailer, he wondered what could have gone wrong. The rigging had been very secure during the show. He made a mental note to triple check all the hooks and braces as soon as he possibly could.

************************************************************

Kip kicked himself mentally. Why did Brian and his boyfriend have to hurry off to their trailer right after the show? They usually waited until the tent had emptied of guests and then they would indulge in a little practice flying before enjoying the rest of their evening. Of course, this time the entire circus was being taken down for their move to the next venue. Kip had foolishly not taken that into consideration when he used his disguise to mess with the rigging. He had felt lucky when no one recognized him as he hung around spying on the movements of his enemies. It hadn't been easy to find a good time to screw with the rigging since there always seemed to be someone around. He had spent almost two weeks waiting for his break and naturally it came on the wrong day. 

When the final parade through the grounds of the tent had ended and all the visitors had left for home, Brian and Justin went straight to their trailer. Kip had made the mistake of thinking they would probably come back and get in a few practice swings after they had finished whatever they were doing. The opportunity to slip in and jack with the rigging had finally come when all the riggers and roustabouts had gone outside the tent to start tearing things down. Kip moved with agility and speed like the athlete he was. In a matter of minutes he had tinkered with the safety loop for the rope leading to the flyer's perch. Then all he had to do was hide in the shadow of the bleachers to see the results of his handiwork. 

Kip had been royally pissed when Robbie and Anna showed up instead of Brian and Justin. He had looked forward to seeing Brian's boyfriend take a tumble, which he suspected would really hurt his royal majesty, Brian Kinney. Instead, he was forced to stand by and watch Anna, a gal he had no beef with, as she made her climb and fell after getting less than half way up. The thick sawdust and expert way of landing had kept her from sustaining serious injuries. It also didn't hurt that the rigging let go much quicker than Kip had expected it to. Once he saw the fall, he hurried away from the scene, his heart pounding in his chest from fear of being caught. He quickly made his way back to the cheap motel he had been staying at and checked out. He knew where the next venue was and he needed to get there first. Besides which, he wanted to put as many miles between himself and the accident as he could.

************************************************************

Ethan crouched behind the tiger's cage and watched as he saw his Justin being dragged off to the trapeze artist's trailer.  It wasn't the first time he had concealed himself in order to spy on Justin, unable to stop the two men from being alone together.  He was lucky that his immense wealth made it possible for him to bribe two of the roustabouts into turning a blind eye whenever he was around. He had caught a plane to the city the circus was appearing in a week earlier and every night he had hung around after the show to see what he could find out about Justin and his crazy life with the circus. It hadn't been easy for him. He wasn't used to sneaking around himself to get information. He could have had his detective do the dirty work for him, but his curiosity about the relationship between his boyfriend and this Brian Kinney was too much for him. He had to see for himself. 

He was constantly on edge as he disturbed the animals by using them as shields from prying eyes. He had even been caught a couple of times by different trainers who questioned him about why he was in a restricted area for visitors to the circus. He had used his quick wit to talk himself out of trouble both times but he knew his number would be up sooner or later. He would soon have to confront Justin whether he knew everything he wanted to or not. His particular goal was to get Justin alone. This would be extremely difficult. During the performances, Justin had his own booth and the flyer was too busy to be with him but there were always plenty of other folks around. When the show was over, the two seemed to be inseparable. Ethan told himself he wasn't afraid to confront Justin with the flyer around, but the truth was that he wanted a one-on-one with Justin. He was certain he could make the young man see the light if he could get him away from the bad influences of the Circus and its' trapeze artist. 

All he needed was the right time and place to achieve his goal. It hadn't happened in this town, but there was always tomorrow. Ethan went back to his five-star hotel and checked out. He would follow the Circus to the next town. Maybe there, he would finally get the chance to get Justin alone and make the man his again. Then they would both be happy. He was certain of that.

To be continued...................    

The music soared as Brian successfully caught first Lisa, then her sister who changed places with her in mid-air. Each girl then launched herself off her swing and onto the one Robbie was riding. All three completed their turn and landed simultaneously on the platform. It was their final move. They waved to the audience, earning thunderous applause. 

Outside the massive tent, Justin could hear the reaction from his booth. He smiled his pleasure, knowing the ovation was announcing the end of the show and that Brian would soon be joining him. Within five minutes, the final parade around the perimeter of the sawdust-filled interior would begin with Brian and his troupe taking up the first position. The animals would then be put up for the night and the circus lights would dim. Justin had become quite comfortable with the routine. It seldom varied. A well-run circus succeeded by working like a well-oiled machine. There was always an occasional drunk who had purchased a bit too much beer, but usually circus visitors were a happy lot. 

Justin had sketched a decent number of portraits and pictures during the two hours before the show actually began and even had a couple of requests from stragglers who didn't stay for the entire show. However, there was nobody expected to pick up any completed works so Justin decided to go ahead and start closing up his booth a little early. Few people visited the booths after the show if it was one of the late night ones on a Sunday. They needed to get home for a good night's sleep before work the next day. 

Justin had just finished putting away his charcoals when he heard a disturbance coming from around the corner of the booth. He figured it was probably a drunk being taken care of by one of the roustabouts, but was completely thrown by what he saw as three figures emerged from the darkness. He instantly recognized two of the men. Drew and one of his assistants came into view with a man dangling between them by his arms as they forcibly moved him along towards Debbie's office tent. That wouldn't have bothered him. It was the fact that he also recognized the captive man that sent his brain into panic mode. It was Ethan, of all people.

Ethan....how the hell had he found him so far from home? And what had he been doing to receive such curt attention? Justin's mind scurried in a dozen different directions, trying to decide whether to hide or tell his friends that he knew the guy who was struggling to get loose from them. Before he could make up his mind which was the most prudent move, the choice was made for him. Ethan yanked one arm free from the smaller of the two hulking men and whirled around far enough to spot Justin as he stood staring at the whole scene playing out in front of him.

"Justin!" Ethan shouted. "Tell these Neanderthals that you know me. They seem to think I'm some kind of nefarious person who was planning to do their circus harm."

Both men turned, surprised to see their very own Justin standing there, looking a little green around the gills. Whoever the guy was that they had caught skulking around in areas of the grounds that had clearly been marked as off-limits to visitors, he obviously knew Justin...and by the looks of it, Justin knew him. They got a better grip on their prisoner and dragged him over to where Justin stood, clearly uncomfortable.

"Justin, do you know this guy? We caught him hiding out in an off-limits area out back." Drew asked without preamble.

It took a moment for Justin to gather his thoughts. He was still reeling from the shock. He knew that Ethan had resources aplenty to locate him, but he had obviously misjudged Ethan's determination to have his own way when he wanted something...or someone. He looked up at his friend, Drew, and began to answer the man nervously.

"He's right, Drew. I do know this guy, but I can't speak for what he was up to being where he didn't belong. He's an....ahhh....old acquaintance from Pittsburgh."

Ethan was clearly irritated that Justin had used such a dismissive tone about him, as if they were nothing more than casual friends from the past.

"What were you going to do with him?" Justin asked, praying it would be something like kicking him off the grounds and barring him from ever returning.

"We were going to take him to Debbie's office to see what she wanted to do with this trespasser, but if you'll vouch for him I guess that will be good enough to let him off with a warning," Drew answered.

That was not what Justin wanted to hear, but he couldn't think of a good reason to tell them to continue with their original plans without telling them more of his history with Ethan. That, he didn't want to do. So instead, Justin promised to make sure that Ethan knew he wasn't welcome to go poking around just anywhere on Circus grounds and the two men freed his arms. Drew was hesitant to leave, sensing something wasn't quite right between the stranger and Justin, but since his young friend didn't speak up and complain about anything in particular he knew it wasn't any of his business. He indicated that his employee should join him and the two men moved off.

"Thanks, Sweetheart. I was sure those two goons were going to rip my arms right out of their sockets."

Justin gave Ethan a withering look. 

"Don't call me 'Sweetheart', Ethan. I'm not your 'Sweetheart' and never will be. How the hell did you find me? I told you a long time ago that I didn't want to see you anymore and I meant it."

Ethan did his best to look contrite, not carrying it off very well. 

"I know what you said, Swe..., Justin but you were still a little mad at me at the time. People in love quarrel all the time, but that's what gives making up its spice. I knew that deep down you hadn't forgotten the beautiful thing we had together and that sooner or later you'd come back to me. I just wanted to make it easier on you by coming to you first. You know, to show that there are no hard feelings. You have no idea how much money it took to find you. Who would have ever thought that a talented brain like yours would have gone with the oldest cliche in the book....running away with the circus?" Ethan let out a little snort. "I guess you were just trying to re-live your childhood. I remember you telling me that you didn't have much of one while growing up."

Justin stood with his mouth agape. Did this idiot even hear what he was saying? Justin knew he had made himself perfectly clear when he broke up with Ethan a long time ago. He had left no doubt that he considered their relationship dead and buried. He knew Ethan hadn't been willing to let go when they were living so close together in the same town, but this was ridiculous. He was even surprised that Ethan mentioned his childhood since he could tell that the man seldom listened to anything he said when they were together....certainly not in the way that Brian paid attention to him.

Thinking of Brian brought panic rushing in. He had not really been that forthcoming with Brian about all the details of his past. He had avoided a lot of the pertinent information about his failed relationship with Ethan. It wasn't that he was afraid of Brian's reaction to his having been in a committed relationship before they got together. He didn't get the impression that Brian really cared about such things. It was that he was ashamed to admit how foolish and naive he had been. He craved Brian's respect as if it was his life-blood. His mind ran from corner to corner in search of a way to avoid having his ex meeting the man he loved. Before he could settle on an answer to his dilemma, the question was taken out of his hands.

Apparently time had passed quicker than Justin realized, because he heard Brian's voice calling out to him. He knew that tone. It was one of concern. He had had the same tone in his voice the time Justin made a mistake as he let go of his swing and dropped too soon to the netting. He almost missed the center of the net which could have caused him a lot of pain if he had hit the heavier edges. Brian saw it happen from his perch above and shouted Justin's name in that exact same worried tone of voice. He didn't want Brian coming over to him, but he knew he had to respond or Brian would get even more agitated.

"I'm over here, Brian," he called out. 

Brian came from around the corner of the stand and stopped short. Drew had just told him that Justin was with some guy he knew, but he hadn't expected to see Justin standing there so tense that it looked like he would scream if he was touched. Whoever the guy was, Justin didn't seem happy to have him there.

"Justin, Drew said you met some guy you knew from before."

Justin just stood there. His frantic thoughts were so scattered he couldn't think straight. Brian walked over to stand beside him and laid an arm over his shoulder. He turned to the stranger who seemed no happier to see him than Justin was, based on the scowl he threw Brian's way. The two men locked eyes and Brian was surprised at the venom he saw in the dark-haired man's gaze. He drew Justin a little closer, instinctively protecting his lover from the wild-eyed stranger, although he had no idea why he should feel the need. He waited for Justin to say something.

Justin's tongue finally loosened. Emboldened within the safety of Brian's arm, he quickly decided that sticking to the truth was his best bet. After all, he had already told Brian that he had left behind one ex-boyfriend on the day he had driven away from his hometown in Brian's Jeep, although he hadn't given Brian any details. It was time to prove his trust in Brian. 

"Brian, this is Ethan Gold. I mentioned him to you when you gave me a ride that day we left Pittsburgh. Do you remember?"

Brian did indeed remember that ride, but more for something else than any mention Justin may have made of some guy named Ethan Gold. It had been the start of what they shared with each other now. Ethan quickly pulled a mask over his face to disguise his true feelings by flashing a toothy grin at Brian as Justin announced who he was. He stepped forth with his hand outstretched. Brian didn't bother taking it. He wasn't fooled by the grin.

"I remember that ride quite well," he answered, hoping Justin would know what he was referring to. "I don't remember you mentioning an 'Ethan Gold', but you did say that you hadn't left anything behind unfinished when you joined our Circus...that is if my memory serves me right."

The venom snuck back into Ethan's dark eyes. 

"Well now, Mr......?"

"Kinney. Brian Kinney."

"Mr. Kinney. I guess Justin was still a little ticked off at me at the time. I mean, the last time we spoke he had indicated that he was willing to forgive and forget our little spat. However, I guess the lure of adventure was too much for him. Justin had just had his twenty-first birthday and he probably was afraid life was passing him by. I offered to pay his way for some travel and good times, but Justin is rather independent and didn't want to take advantage of me. I guess it is just one of the many things I love about him."

"Well, first of all, Mr. Gold, twenty one is hardly over the hill. I doubt if that was the driving force in his leaving Pittsburgh. From all the long talks we've had together at home (emphasizing the word home), I'd say it was more of a case of Justin looking for a fresh start after a big disappointment in his old life."

Brian looked down at Justin. "Did I get that right, Sunshine?" Brian asked sweetly.

Justin was amazed. Brian had zeroed in on the situation right on target and was handling it perfectly. Once again, he felt a swelling of pride in his man. 

"Exactly, Brian," Justin responded, smiling up into Brian's warm eyes.

Ethan was sharp enough to catch the meaning behind Brian's words. He stepped back. This time he didn't try to hide his anger.

"I get the picture, Mr. Kinney. You managed to worm your way into Justin's life when he was vulnerable after I made a stupid mistake. But I can assure you that what Justin and I had together was the real thing and sooner or later he is going to tire of all the empty glitter and nomadic lifestyle you're offering him. When he does, he'll know where to come for security and a real future. I can promise you that I'll be waiting with open arms and you'll be nothing but a distant memory of his wild and reckless youth."

Justin had heard enough. He shrugged Brian's arm off his shoulder and stepped between the two men. 

"That's quite enough, Ethan. I don't want to hear another word from your fucking mouth. What the hell do you think I am...some silly little kid who doesn't even know his own mind? I didn't leave you because we had a 'little spat' as you seem to insist on remembering it. I left you because you hit me."

Brian's body turned cold with fury. He felt an overwhelming urge to push Justin out of the way and wrap his hands around Ethan's scrawny neck. He resisted it because Justin clearly wasn't through with his ex-boyfriend and Brian knew he needed to get it all out. Ethan had raised his hand in protest, but Justin kept on, barely taking a breath.

"Don't bother trying to twist the truth around. I was there...remember? You came home from your trip and started accusing me of cheating on you when you knew damn well that it isn't in my character to do that. Then you hit me. It took me a while, but I finally figured out that the chances are you were the one cheating. It doesn't really matter whether you were or not. I was sick and tired of the way you had been treating me for a long time before that happened anyway. It just took you knocking some sense into me for me to wake up and see what a loser you are."

"You don't mean that," Ethan protested.

Justin sighed deeply. "I feel sorry for you Ethan. You have such a huge ego that you can't even admit to yourself when you've lost...and make no mistake, you've lost me forever. The sooner you recognize that fact, the sooner you can go on with your life. I found everything I ever wanted on my 'little adventure' with the Circus, including a man who knows how to treat someone they love with respect. You're a long way from being the man that Brian is and I have no intention of trading in the real thing for your illusion of love. I suggest you go back home and reorganize your priorities before you waste any more time and money on a hopeless pursuit."

Both of the men facing Ethan could see him slowly shrinking inside himself. This was not what he had expected at all. He had known that he would have to humble himself a bit to get a stubborn Justin to see the light, but this man was nothing like the kid he had called his own for a year. This Justin had developed a strong backbone somewhere along the way. It was crystal clear that this Justin didn't need anything from him.

Ethan had been afraid that he would have to deal with the trapeze artist while talking Justin into coming home. This Justin didn't need anyone talking for or protecting him. Justin Taylor was a man who could speak for himself and wasn't afraid to say what he meant. Somewhat reluctantly, Ethan had to admit that this Justin wasn't the kid he had fallen for and he really didn't belong to him anymore. Ethan needed someone who was more malleable....a description that didn't fit Justin Taylor anymore. Finally facing the inevitable, he now needed to save face as best he could.

"Okay, Justin, I get your point. You don't have to take a hammer and hit me over the head. You've obviously gotten everything from me that you wanted and now you're ready to move on to your next meal ticket (completely reversing all his earlier statements about Justin's independence and desire not to take advantage of him)."

He directed himself to Brian. "And as for you, Mr. Kinney, you can have him. He'll only break your heart like he did mine with false accusations once he's done with you. You two probably deserve each other. I'd offer you good luck, but I'm not feeling that magnanimous. But believe me, you'll need it." 

Turning back to Justin, "Good-bye, Justin. Oh, by the way, one of those commissions you got for a painting while in Florida....well, that was my man who gave it to you for me. You can keep it for yourself to remember me by. I don't think I'll be collecting any Taylor originals in the future."

With those last words, Ethan turned on his heel and walked out of Justin's life for good. Relief washed over Justin like a warm Spring breeze after a chilly Winter. He couldn't believe it was truly over. He hadn't really been afraid of Ethan, but he didn't like knowing the obsessed man was still out there possibly looking for him. He could sense that Ethan had meant what he said. Justin had finally gotten through to the man. He stepped closer to Brian and looked up at him. He wasn't sure how Brian would react now that they were alone. Brian didn't waste any time showing how he felt about what had just gone down between the three of them. He took Justin into his arms and hugged him tightly. 

"I'm so proud of you, Justin."

"I guess I should tell you the whole story about Ethan and me," Justin began.

Brian interrupted him. "You don't have to tell me a damned thing. I got the picture just fine. I repeat, I'm proud of you. I know a bully when I see one and you stood up to him beautifully. There is nothing a bully hates worse than someone who won't crumble when they demand to get their way. I doubt we'll ever have to deal with that brat again. You put him in his place and he'll stay there. I don't want to ever hear his name or see his ugly face again."

"Ethan, who?" Justin laughed.

Brian bent down and captured Justin's lips. They kissed deeply, love warming them at the very core of their being. Love had made Justin strong. Love had killed off one of the threats to their future happiness. 

One down....one to go!

To be continued.........................

The chatter was almost deafening inside the large tent used to feed everyone during meals. The tent was also the gathering spot when the entire cast and crew were called together for a meeting regarding subjects that had to be shared with all of them. Today was one of those meeting days. The reason for the meeting could be plainly heard outside, despite all the noise inside the tent. The sides of the tent had been lowered to protect the inhabitants within. The weather outside was nastier than most of them had ever seen before. It was a rare occasion for the Circus to shut down and not perform a scheduled program, but discretion and safety was the better part of valor this time around. 

Modern weather forecasting techniques of the mid-seventies, such as the first satellite launched into orbit to track hurricanes, went a long way in preventing such disastrous events but people were still caught off-guard sometimes. This was one of those times. They were set up in a coastal South Carolina County only a few miles from the Atlantic Ocean and a storm of hurricane proportions was rapidly moving in. The citizens had been warned to batten down the hatches and only a fool would have ventured out to attend anything, no matter how special the event was. Debbie's Circus had already completed three of the scheduled ten performances, but she knew it was time to move on, preferably much further inland. 

Debbie called the meeting to make sure that everyone was on the same page and aware of what they needed to do to protect themselves and the entire company. Most everyone already suspected what was coming. Debbie made a valiant effort to calm the noise down so she could be heard above the howling wind outside. Only those closest to her knew what she was trying to do. Seeking to help, Brian jumped onto one of the wooden tables and let out a loud whistle, followed by a loud bang on the prop drum he had grabbed from around the neck of one of the clowns standing next to him. The noise suddenly hushed to a whisper. Only the sound of the gale-force winds outside the tent could be heard now. Brian cleared his throat and looked down on the milling crowd. 

"Listen up," he ordered, "the boss lady has something to say. Debbie....," Brian reached down to help the redhead step up on the seat and onto the table, with a little push from behind by her brother, Vic.

Debbie peered out over the large gathering. These people were her family and she loved them dearly. Their safety and well-being were always a priority with the feisty, old girl. The equipment, costumes, and animals of her circus were vital to everyone's future, but the people had to be safe too. Looking down at them, she knew she could count on each and every one of them to do their part in getting the work done for them to move to safety quickly. With as few words as possible, since time was running out to get to safer ground, she gave out the instructions her company would need, including where they should head as soon as everything was ready to go. As soon as she was certain that everyone was fully informed, she dismissed the group and waited for Brian to help her back down to the ground. 

Debbie was immediately surrounded by her closest and dearest, including Brian, Justin, her son, Ben, and Vic. They took a moment to reassure her that all would be well and they'd be back on schedule in no time before heading off to take care of their duties. Each one gave her a warm kiss on the cheek and then hurried away. They didn't have time to dawdle or discuss their fears. With all the confusion going on, no one noticed the extra guy who hung as far back from the center of activity as he could. Kip had found the perfect disguise in the baggy pants the clean-up crew wore. This had been topped off with a grey wig and moustache that easily covered up the strapping, young man behind the mask. He even stooped a little to make himself look older and harmless. It wasn't unusual for the glorified janitor workers to be recruited from townsfolk on occasion so the stranger wasn't that noticeable. Only the malevolent look in his eyes as Brian and Justin passed by on their way out would have exposed Kip for the man he truly was. But no one noticed...they had other things on their minds. 

In no time at all, the entire grounds where the circus had been set up was abuzz with activity. The animals were the first to be taken care of. Their skittishness increased as the winds grew stronger. By the time they were secure, the first droplets of rain began. Everyone worked together like a well-oiled machine, protecting sensitive equipment by storing it carefully and finally taking down the last tent where the meeting had been held. While Debbie's people were going about their business in a 'constructive' way so that no harm would come to anything or anyone, one man was busy trying to decide the best way to be 'destructive' in a way that would hurt most. Kip had been totally unsuccessful in creating an 'accident' that could be blamed on his arch enemy, Brian Kinney. Even his plans to hurt Brian by taking away the one person he obviously cared most about, the blond boytoy he had taken under his wing, had failed miserably. All he had managed to do was cause slight injuries to someone else. As a janitor in disguise, he simply hadn't been able to do much harm. 

Time was running out for him. His meal ticket back in Florida, Marta, was getting restless with no man in her bed. Kip knew it wouldn't be long before she replaced him with another of the many hunks looking for a free ride. If he didn't get back soon he would lose the support she offered and his chance to strike out on his own with a pile of her money to back him up. The chaos that the coming storm was causing was his best chance to sabotage something...but what? As Kip watched the first of the massive trucks pulling out for their journey inland, a light bulb finally went off in his head. If he couldn't hurt Brian through the circus, why not just hurt Brian himself. That would dispose of his hated ex-boss at the same time as it would injure the circus itself with the loss of their star attraction. Two birds with one stone...why hadn't he thought of that before? He had been going at it all wrong, trying to be too complicated when the answer was simple. 

The streets and highways would be more dangerous than usual, thanks to the weather...not to mention the fact that there would be heavy traffic with so many folks wanting to escape the coming danger. Anyone whose vehicle wasn't in good shape would be in serious trouble if an emergency came up. With the image of Brian trying valiantly to control that stupid old Jeep he was so proud of, Kip hurried off to where the personal vehicles of the cast and crew were located. He quickly found Brian's Jeep. Kip pulled out his pocket knife and swivelled his head around in order to check for any nearby onlookers. The coast was clear. He dropped to the ground and slithered under the engine of the vehicle. He found the hose carrying the brake fluid. He made a slice that was just enough to let some fluid start to escape without losing the entire supply at once. They needed to be on the road before they discovered the trouble they were in. He slid back out and jumped up. There was still no one around. Kip was feeling quite satisfied with himself. With any luck, Brian Kinney would be in the ground or permanently crippled for the rest of his life before he knew what had hit him. Kip sauntered away with his head thrown back, catching raindrops on his tongue and smirking with pleasure.

Meanwhile, after pitching in to help with a lot of the grunt work getting things ready for travel, Brian and Justin had just finished securing their own trailer. They stood together at the door of their trailer, glancing around one last time to make sure everything looked secure. Usually they could pack up and take care of things at their leisure. This was the first emergency move Justin had ever experienced and Brian hadn't lived through that many of them either. Before opening the door, Brian pulled Justin into his arms and gave his lover a deep, loving kiss. A minute later he stepped back.

"Are you nervous, Sunshine? I know this is your first time having to deal with the less pleasant aspects of road life. We are always at the mercy of Mother Nature, you know."

Justin laid his hand on Brian's cheek. "Are you kidding? I have you to protect me from any bad-ass Mother....or father." 

Justin leaned in for another kiss. "Now, no more of that," he laughed. "I don't think Debbie would be too happy if we fall too far behind the others because we were too busy necking in the trailer."

"Riiiight!" Brian agreed, playfully swatting Justin on the rump. 

Brian opened the door and was hit by large splashes of rainwater. The rain had picked up considerably in the fifteen minutes or so that they had been inside the trailer. It was definitely time to get moving. Most of the caravan was already on their way or just pulling out by the time the two men made a mad dash for the Jeep. Debbie watched from under her umbrella as she saw her two favorite employees splashing through the soaked grass to their vehicle. Like the Captain of a ship, she was always the last to leave any of the locations where the circus was set up. She leaned against her car and surveyed the area all around, which was rapidly emptying of trucks, trailers, and cars. She recognized all but one of the cars so she knew who the stragglers were. She watched as Brian and Justin pulled away and headed for the main road. 

She was about to take refuge in her own Volkswagen van when she heard cursing so loud it carried even over the sound of the whistling wind. She turned around and saw that the noise was coming from the unknown vehicle she had spotted earlier. A man, bundled in a gray raincoat, was kicking the tire with all his strength and cussing up a storm. Even though she wasn't sure who it was and the guy was at least thrity-five to forty yards away, Debbie had to see what was up and if she could help. She saw Michael and Ben approaching the van, tucked together under a king-sized umbrella. She called to them to join her and also caught the attention of two of her huskier roustabouts. The five of them sprinted over to where the fella was bent down examining his tire. 

The threesome was within feet of the man when he suddenly stood up and looked in their direction. Debbie locked eyes with the man and instantly recognized her one-time employee, Kip, despite his dishevelled disguise. At that same moment, Kip saw the recognition in Debbie's face. Panicking, he turned around and began running. He had nowhere to run...no tents to hide behind and few cars left to shield him. He ran for a nearby restroom set up in the park for visitors. He had been eager to get out of the area now that he had completed his mission, but hadn't counted on his cheap rental car having a flat tire and someone forgetting to put a spare in the trunk. Sadly for him, his misfortune combined with his odd reaction to being discovered, aroused Debbie's curiosity even more than it normally would have. She immediately suspected that the young man wasn't simply paying a visit to an old employer...at least not for innocent reasons. Why else would he have run off like that, unless he was up to something nefarious? Debbie didn't hesitate. She asked the men to go after Kip and politely invite him back to his stranded vehicle where she would be waiting with some questions. The men hurried off.

Kip had quickly entered the women's side of the dual restroom and tried to hide himself in one of the stalls, sliding the rusty lock closed behind himself. He stepped onto the commode to hide his legs and feet, squatting down so he couldn't be seen from the top. He heard the men as they entered the restroom where a line of four stalls stood against a concrete wall. Kip held his breath, praying that they would quit looking quickly. No such luck. Within a minute he saw the wooden door shaking as someone tried to open it. He held his breath even tighter. Without warning, the door was kicked in. It bounced off Kip's body as it was flung into him, nearly dislodging him from the commode. A burly roustabout charged in and grabbed Kip by his shirt. He pulled the protesting man out of the stall where he was now surrounded by four men, three of which he recognized. 

While the two roustabouts held onto Kip's arms, Michael yanked the gray wig, and facial hair off Kip's head. It was then that Michael saw what his mother had caught. Sure enough, this guy was Kip. Michael knew the man had a grudge against his mother's circus and hadn't left on the best of terms. He knew that she had reason to be concerned that Kip had come back, especially during such a stressful time. With Kip protesting the entire way, he was escorted back to face his old boss. He stood in front of her, completely defiant. Debbie watched him carefully, looking for a clue as to what he had been up to. She couldn't guess. Despite the growing storm and their need to move to safety, Debbie had the feeling she needed to find out more before they moved on. Her instincts were screaming...trouble!

"It's been a while, Kip. I'm just curious, why did you come for a visit now...and why do it in disguise? Is there something you need to tell me?"

"You'd better let me go, old lady," Kip sneered. "You can't hold me against my will. You could go to jail for this. I have every right to be here. It's a public park."

Debbie remained calm. "True...true. But I wonder what the cops would say if they knew about your history with us and something untoward happened to any of our equipment or people." A thought suddenly occurred to Debbie. "Such as recently when the trapeze rigging failed and one of our flyers was almost seriously injured. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I just came to see how my old friends were doing since I was in the area. No law against that."

"If I remember correctly, you didn't have any old friends with my company...only an enemy or two. I presume you weren't here to look up Brian."

At the mention of Brian's name, something changed in Kip. The defiant look in his eyes changed subtly to one of malice...and something else. It was something akin to glee. It chilled Debbie. She stepped in closer and got right in Kip's face.

"So that's it. You came to do Brian harm. Well young man, you'd better hope that nothing happens to Brian because if it does you'll answer to me."

Debbie wasn't about to let Kip go until she made sure everything was alright and that Kip hadn't had any time to launch any vendettas. She ordered her men to tie Kip's hands behind him and take him with them as they left. They would all meet back up at the new location. Before the men marched off with Kip between them, Debbie got in his face once more. The man was screaming that they would be sorry.

"Oh shut up, will you? We're not kidnapping you. We're taking you to safety since you can't get your car on the road. Once we get where we are going and make sure you haven't been tinkering with things you shouldn't, we'll be happy to let you get on your way."

She watched as the three men left and then joined Michael and Ben as they all headed back to their own car. They were soon joining up as the long circus caravan moved on to the safety of their new destination. Kip rode in the back seat of the car just in front of Debbie's van. He was wedged tightly between the burly men who had captured him. His emotions played out on his face. One moment he felt fear that he would have to pay dearly if and when Brian Kinney's Jeep crashed, the next he felt exhilaration that no one knew what was coming except for him. However this played out, he felt like a winner. If his sabotage worked, the man he hated more than anyone would be gone. If he was lucky, they wouldn't be able to prove that he tampered with anything....at least not in a court of law. If the plan failed, they would have to let him go and he could always try again later. 

As they drove on through the heavy rains that were now pouring down from above, not one of the folks in the mile-long caravan knew what was about to happen. Before the evening was over, they would.

To be continued.....

Brian cursed under his breath. Justin could feel the tension inside the Jeep, thick as the river of rain that poured mercilessly all around them. It made it almost impossible to see more than a foot in front of them. The situation had gone from bad to worse since leaving the park grounds and the entire caravan was delayed by the dangerous storms and heavy traffic. No one dared to move at more than a snail's pace for fear of running off the road, or even worse...into the vehicle in front of them. If they hadn't been afraid of being caught in the hurricane winds that were rapidly approaching, the troupe would have pulled off the side of the road and waited the whole thing out. The fear was that the winds would be strong enough to lift even the heaviest vehicles up and toss them around like so many matchsticks. The animals, equipment, and people could be seriously injured or even killed. They had to remain on the road and pray for a break.

Brian and Justin had been on the road for nearly an hour and only advanced ten miles at most. It was then that Brian's foot began to feel sponginess in his brake pedal as he stepped on it for the hundredth time since pulling out. It didn't panic him at first. He figured it was partly his imagination due to the stress. They had moved forward another quarter mile when Brian saw he was too close to the car in front of him. He tapped his brakes again. There it was...that same sponginess. Now he knew it wasn't his imagination. Something was wrong with his brakes. Brian grabbed his CB radio and clicked the button on.

"Breaker, breaker...this is Top Flyer, calling Mama Bear. Come in Mama Bear. Over."

After a moment of static chatter, the couple could hear the familiar voice of Debbie calling back.

"Mama Bear here. What's up, Top Flyer? Over."

"I've got a problem here. Something is wrong with my braking system. They feel like they're about to give out. I need to pull out and check them. How far away are you? Over."

"We're about twenty minutes behind you, Top Flyer. Go ahead and pull over and we'll be on the lookout for you. Over."

"Will do, Mama Bear. Over and out."

As soon as Debbie clicked her CB off she felt a chill. Brian was always super careful with his Jeep. It was his pride and joy and he took excellent care of it. Strange that it would have such a major failure on the very day that Kip was caught lurking about. Debbie thought about calling Brian back to let him know about Kip and that the fool was safely under their control now but she didn't want to distract him. Besides, that knowledge wasn't going to do Brian and Justin any good at this moment. She would tell him once they caught up with the Jeep. She stared out the front window at the gray sheets of rain slicing down at them and cursed the weather.

*************************************************************

"What's wrong, Brian?" Justin asked anxiously. He had heard what Brian said about the braking system but was completely unaware that there had been a problem.

"I'm not sure, Sunshine. But every time I step on the brakes, they feel even looser than before. There's definitely something not right. I don't want to take a chance on needing them and having them give out entirely."

Justin nodded his agreement and waited for Brian to pull over to the side of the road. Brian could barely see in front of him, but there had been a slight break in the intensity of the downpour and he was hoping for one of those so he could safely maneuver the Jeep to the gravel on the side of the highway. Every muscle in his body was tensed, waiting for that break. They were barely driving under ten miles an hour and had only gotten a few yards further on when Brian saw a lessening of the dense rain through his windshield. He could just make out the vehicle in front of him, much closer than he had thought it was. Now was the time to pull over and park the car on the shoulder of the four-lane highway. 

Brian tapped gently on his brakes as he began swerving to the right. He felt alarm when they went down almost to the floor board before barely catching hold, but this wasn't the time to panic. Before he could move more than a couple of feet further the sheet of rain suddenly thickened again, obscuring his vision once more. He already knew there were no vehicles on the side of the road thanks to the brief glance he had gotten before turning out of traffic, so he decided to use his best judgement and continue to move over. What he didn't know, and couldn't see was that the vehicle in front of him had used their brakes for whatever reason and was now directly in front of him. Brian's front fender collided with the back fender of the vehicle he had been following.

The collision caught Brian off-guard, even though it was low-impact and normally would have done minimal damage. The impact was just enough to wrench control of the wheel from Brian's grasp. The rain-slick road was dangerous enough, but the front passenger tire hit the gravel at just that instant. The combination was too much for the large Jeep. It began to slowly turn like a ballerina in pirouette. Once the other tires were caught up in the gravel too, the Jeep began to twirl around even faster. Brian had not been able to see that the road dipped down dramatically from the other side of the gravel. With no warning, the circular path the Jeep was taking suddenly became a flip-over...end over end as the vehicle went deeper and deeper into the ravine along the highway. 

Brian had struggled mightily to control the Jeep when it first started twirling like a mad merry-go-round, but when it started to flip over he knew he had lost the battle. His first instinct was to grab hold of Justin and pull him as close to his body as possible to soften any blows the young man would suffer from the turmoil inside the vehicle. The two men tried to hold tight to each other but gravity had its way and they were torn apart. Justin went flying into the back seat and against the sides over and over. Brian's body suffered the same, but in the front of the vehicle. Somewhere during the fourth or fifth turn, Justin was knocked unconscious. Finally, dozens of feet below street level, the vehicle came to rest upside down with its wheels spinning as if they were in a race. The top of the Jeep was crushed. Only the sound of the steadily-pouring rain could be heard. The rest was total quiet.

************************************************************

Debbie continued to stare out the side of her window. It had been just over twenty minutes since she had spoken to Brian and she was convinced she should have seen his Jeep by now. The rain had let up in the last ten minutes, but only enough to improve visibility a little. She was about to use her CB to call Brian for the second time and find out if everything was alright when she saw a familiar car off to the side of the road. It belonged to one of her employees and their family. Instinct told her she should stop, so she ordered Michael to pull the van over. The car with Kip in it kept moving. No one inside the vehicle noticed the slowly-spreading smirk planted on their 'prisoner's' face as they passed by the scene. Debbie's van pulled up directly behind the other car. She grabbed her umbrella and quickly joined her employee's wife and his two youngest sons who were standing on the shoulder of the road, staring down into the ravine below them. As she approached, she could see the worry on their faces.

"What's going on, Milly?" she questioned.

"We're not sure yet," Milly responded. Tony and the boys went down to find out what is happening. We were forced to hit our brakes when we had a break in the rain and saw we were too close to the truck in front of us and the next thing we know, we're being hit from behind. We weren't hit that hard, but when Tony tried to see what happened to the other car, all he could see was something moving off to the side of the road. Then the rain got too thick to see anymore. Tony had to stop to see if he could help, but by the time we got out and checked, the other car had disappeared from sight. There's a deep ravine on the side of the road so we figure it ended up down there. The boys have gone down to see if they can help whoever was in that car."

"Could you tell who it was?" Debbie asked anxiously, a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Milly shook her head. "It happened so fast and the rain made it impossible to see details. I'm not sure who pulled out right after us either."

Debbie's blood ran cold. She had a strong feeling as to who it might have been. She was joined by Michael and Ben. She quickly asked them to go down and see if they could help Tony. Without a word, the two men began to carefully pick their way down the steep embankment. They hadn't gone far when they saw the wrecked vehicle. It was barely recognizable, but Michael knew it was Brian's Jeep. Michael could feel his heart skip a beat. He slid down the soaked grass faster, desperate to make sure his best friend was okay. Ben was right behind him. In seconds all five men were circled around the fallen Jeep...Michael, Ben, Tony, and his two eldest sons. Tony and his boys had been trying to reach and extract an unconscious Justin from the wreckage with no success. Brian was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Brian?" Michael yelled above the sound of the lessening rain.

Tony stopped what he was doing long enough to shrug his shoulders. "We haven't seen him. He must have been thrown out. Justin is wedged into the back seat. Maybe we'd have better luck if we could flip this thing over."

Ben instantly volunteered to help while Michael began checking all around the crash site. With every second that he couldn't find Brian, his fears grew. There was a cluster of bushes a number of yards to the left so Michael headed for them. He had gotten within feet of the thick bushes when he heard a deep moan. He hurried towards the sound. Suddenly he saw the splayed-out form of his dearest friend lying on the ground, just in front of the bushes. Michael ran towards Brian and fell to one knee. He carefully lifted Brian's head. Brian let out a groan as his head came up. There was a gash over his eye that ran up into his hairline. It seeped blood down his face which was quickly washed away by the rain. Red stains could be seen on Brian's shirt, but it was impossible to tell how bad it was thanks to all the rainwater. Brian was beginning to come to. He grabbed onto Michael's arm.

"Justin! Where's Justin?" he croaked out. 

Michael pried Brian's hand free and laid his head back down gently. 

"Relax, Brian. I'm sure he'll be fine. The others are helping him. We couldn't find you at first. Thank God you're alive. Where do you hurt?"

"I'm fine," Brian told his friend, shakily. "I need to take care of Justin."

Brian tried to rise, but was hit with a sharp pain in his back. He let out a deep groan. 

Stop it," Michael ordered. "You don't know what is hurt yet. If you move, you could do permanent damage to something. I don't want to leave you but I've got to get help. Ma's up at the top just waiting to know what is going on. She'll call for help. Now don't move. I mean it. Justin will be fine, I'm sure. You know he wouldn't want you to risk serious damage. Promise you'll stay still?"

Brian nodded reluctantly. Michael hurried back to the Jeep. By the time he got there, the men had flipped it over and had carefully moved the unconscious Justin to the grass. A cursory look had shown no open wounds or blood, and the young man was definitely breathing. Michael told them to wait with Justin and asked Ben to go to Brian and keep an eye on him while he hurriedly returned to Debbie. The walk back up was slippery, but Michael made good time. As soon as he reached a fearful Debbie, he told her what they had found. Debbie forced herself to remain calm as she rushed back to her van and placed an emergency call over the CB. All they could do now was wait. Debbie left Milly to watch for the ambulance and highway patrol while she followed Michael back down the slope to where her two favorite boys were. 

Time dragged by painfully as they waited for help to arrive. The weather and traffic made it a slow endeavor. At least twenty more minutes dragged by. The rain seemed to be slacking off, as if Mother Nature was taking mercy on the soaked victims below. Finally, the sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. Soon the hillside was swarming with rescue workers, wrecker employees, and patrolmen. EMT's went right to work on the still unconscious blond while others checked out Brian. As soon as they had a neck brace in place and had checked his vitals they strapped him onto a gurney that would be used to lift him back up the ravine. As they passed by the Jeep, Brian could see they were still working on Justin. His heart sank. Why was he still unconscious? Brian couldn't feel relief that they had been rescued...not until he knew that Justin was going to be alright.

*************************************************************

Brian opened his eyes reluctantly. His head still hurt like a motherfucker, but doctor's news just before giving him that delightful pain shot that knocked him out for the third or fourth time since arriving at the hospital had all been good...at least for him. He looked over at the other bed in the room. He could see Justin laying there, so peacefully still. Brian had asked that they give them both the same room. Actually, he had demanded it...refusing to co-operate with doctors or nurses until they agreed. Justin had slipped into a coma, but the doctors found little else wrong with him. He had bruises over a large part of his body, but no broken bones. He had a concussion, which explained the coma, but thankfully there had been no swelling of the brain. As the doctor said, it was now simply a waiting game. Despite the reassurances, Brian longed to see those beautiful blue peepers gazing at him. It couldn't happen soon enough. It was already the second day since the accident.

Brian was about to ring for the nurse when he heard the hospital door swinging open. Debbie entered with an arm full of flowers and balloons. She had a huge smile on her face, but it slipped slightly when she noticed that Justin's eyes were still closed. She hurried over to Brian's bed and greeted him with a peck on his bandaged head. 

"He still hasn't opened those beautiful eyes?" she asked anxiously, setting her armload of greetings down. 

Brian shook his head. Debbie could see how unhappy Brian was. 

"I talked to your doctor. Told him I was your Mom. He said that you'll be sore for a couple of weeks, but that you were lucky to have been thrown out into the soft grass. It may have saved you from more serious injuries. I explained what you do for a living and he tells me that he doesn't see any reason why you can't fly again with the proper care and a few weeks off. Oh Gawd, Brian," she paused, shuddering. "It could have been so much worse. If the weather had been better, you could have been driving a lot faster when your brakes acted up."

"I told you, Deb. It wasn't my brakes that caused the accident. I didn't see the car in front of me stopping so I hit it. That's what caused me to lose control."

Debbie frowned. She hadn't told Brian the whole story yet. She didn't want him to be distracted from healing and she suspected he would have tried to leave the hospital and get at Kip if he knew what she had suspected and the cops had just confirmed for her this morning. Debbie had talked to the cops and told them all about Kip, and what Brian had said about his brakes just before the accident. They took him into custody, pending an investigation and discovered the slit brake line almost immediately. After finding Kip's knife on him, which he had never gotten the chance to dispose of before Debbie's men tied him up, they charged him with attempted murder. Traces of brake fluid were still on the handle and blade of the knife. It looked like Kip wouldn't be going back to Florida any time soon. 

"Brian, Honey, I have something to tell you but I don't want you to overreact."

Brian looked at Debbie quizzically. He waited while she chose her words carefully. 

"Deb?" he almost shouted, losing patience. "Will you just spit it out? What is bothering you so bad that you're afraid to tell me?"

"It's about the 'accident'. The truth is....well dammit Brian, it wasn't your fault at all. And it wasn't an accident either. Your brake lines had been cut. Someone wanted you to lose control of the Jeep and crash."

Brian's eyes became narrow slits. Debbie could see rage starting to build behind those hazel eyes. It was enough to make a weaker person run and hide. Debbie stood her ground and prepared herself for Brian's response.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Are you talking sabotage? Who the hell...." Brian's loud voice trailed off. A thought occurred to him. "Do they know who is responsible? It wasn't that piece of shit that's been stalking Justin, was it? If it is, and he hurt Justin, he won't have to worry about going to jail. He'll be buried under it when I'm done with him!"

Debbie quickly laid a calming hand on Brian's chest. It didn't work. She could see that Brian was still out for blood. 

"No, it wasn't that guy. The bastard doesn't even know Justin. You were the target, Brian."

"What are you talking about? Just tell me who it is."

"Kip. It was Kip, your old flying partner. Apparently he's been holding a grudge all this time for you getting him fired. He claims you ruined his life and blackballed him so he couldn't find another job with anyone else. He's already under arrest. It's a long story and I won't bore you with the whole thing right now. Just know that he won't be causing any more trouble for quite a while. Right now your only job is to get well and wait for our Sunshine to do the same."

Brian was about to respond to Debbie's revelations when he heard a soft moan nearby. He turned his head and saw movement from the other bed. Debbie saw it at the same time. She quickly rushed around Brian's bed and moved to the side where Justin had been laying as still as a statue, only now there was slight movement happening. Before she could say a thing, Brian was right beside her. She moved back, giving Brian room. He leaned in close and watched as Justin's eyes began fluttering. His hand began moving at the same time. Brian grabbed Justin's hand and held it tight, bringing it up to his lips. He kissed the pale fingertips, and then placed a soft kiss on Justin's forehead. As he pulled away, he saw that Justin's eyes were fully open.

Brian had never felt anything so warm and wonderful. Justin's sky-blue eyes were clear, even if a little unfocused. Brian continued staring into them, having no desire to lose contact even for a second. He held on to Justin's hand and watched as the young man slowly regained his senses. Justin felt safe as long as he was staring into Brian's beautiful face. Finally, Justin was awake enough to speak.

"Brian?" he whispered, his voice catching.

"I'm right here, Sunshine. You're going to be fine. The docs promised me. All we needed was for you to wake up."

"Wake up? How long have I been out?" Justin whispered again.

"A couple of days, but all your pieces are still together and in good shape. Your brain needed a chance to heal, so it decided to take a long nap, that's all. Have to admit you gave me a scare, but....oh shit, Justin, I've never been so scared. I don't know what I would have done if you had taken much longer to open those gorgeous blue eyes of yours!"

Justin reached up and caressed Brian's cheek. He felt the stubble there and then it dawned on him that Brian was wearing a hospital gown too.

"Are you alright, Brian?" he asked, pointing to Brian's garb.

"Don't you worry about me. All my pieces are in good working order too. I wouldn't let them kick me out until I knew you were going to be fine, that's all."

Brian bent down and placed his lips softly, tenderly on Justin's. He kissed his lover slowly, gently. Debbie watched from the corner. There was a lot to tell the young man and more for Brian to hear, but now wasn't the time. It could wait. Brian and Justin needed a few minutes alone. She would find their doctor and report Justin's happy re-emergence into the world. Then she would let the rest of her circus 'family' know the good news. 

Brian and Justin didn't even notice when Debbie stepped out the door, closing it quietly behind her. They couldn't stop kissing and staring into each other's eyes. That was all that mattered at this very moment. They were both alive, still in one piece, and best of all...together.

To be continued........................    

June 18, 2000:

"Hey good lookin', what's a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?"

"It's my birthday, and I was promised a good time at the circus. I get to go every year for my birthday, but this one is special. It's also a very special Anniversary," the fair-haired man stated, grinning from ear to ear.

"And how old are you today?" asked the tall brunet with the silver running through his hair like streaks of lightning.

"It's not really polite asking a man his age but I'm forty-six, if you must know . But what's really special about today is that it's my twenty-fifth Anniversary."

"That's a big one. What kind of Anniversary are you celebrating, if I may be so bold as to ask?"

"It's the Anniversary of the day I met the love of my life. Wouldn't you call that special?"

"I most emphatically would," the older man declared.

Brian and Justin let out a hearty laugh simultaneously and hugged tightly, Justin raising his lips for the expected kiss Brian always gave him whether they were in public or not. Visitors to the Circus swirled all around them in the big stadium that always hosted such shows nowadays. Neither man paid any attention to them. They were far too lost in each other. They only broke apart when they heard a stadium employee calling out to the crowd, offering to sell Circus programs. Brian raised his hand to get the kid's attention and then purchased a program for Justin to add to his growing collection. He flipped through the colorful pages.

"Not quite as beautiful as the ones you used to create for Debbie," he declared, handing the thick booklet over to his partner with another kiss.

A little over two hours later they left the stadium hand in hand and found their car, a beautiful forest-green 'Vette that was Brian's newest toy. They had a long drive home. The huge Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus show was held in New York City, so the fellas left their comfy country house in Virginia to make the trip. It was now a family tradition to never miss the Circus on Justin's birthday, and had been that way since the year they met. Of course, a number of those early years had been spent as members of Debbie Novotny's Circus. It wasn't until the mid-eighties that all that changed. Little by little, all the smaller family owned circuses had been gobbled up by the huge conglomerate of Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey. Debbie had finally given in to the pressure caused by a lack of visitors that the smaller Circuses pulled in. She had sold her assets and closed down, but only after securing jobs for every single one of her people who still wanted to stay in the business. 

Debbie ended up trying retirement, but it didn't last. She eventually bought a diner in Florida with her brother Vic, who was the chief cook. Her son Michael left the Circus to be with his beloved Professor when he returned to his teaching post in the East. Ben had completed his book and it was successful enough to provide a very comfortable nest egg for the couple. The two men bought a house together and settled in for a pleasant domestic life. Michael purchased a memorabilia store using the money his Mother sent him when she sold the assets and rights to her Circus, having divided the funds three ways for Michael, Vic, and herself. Emmett opened a clothing shop in Greenwich Village with the generous severance package Debbie gave him. Drew joined him and returned to his youthful roots as a star football player in college. He earned his teaching license and took up coaching at a local school. Ted worked briefly as an accountant for the large corporation that had swallowed up Debbie's Circus, but quit to go to work for Brian when he decided not to continue on as a flyer with the newly-merged Company. Instead, Brian opened a training center of his own with Justin's encouragement, having been reminded of what a skilled teacher he had shown himself to be. The business, aptly named Britin's Sports Center, had grown and become wildly successful. It began branching out so that there were now a dozen locations in the sixteen years since the first one opened. 

Justin had found his own happiness over the years doing the one thing he did best and enjoyed most. His reputation followed him during his later Circus days so that when Debbie closed down, he already had a growing clientele of buyers for his artworks. By the time he and Brian had settled down in a home of their own, Justin was bringing in enough to ensure them of a very comfortable retirement someday in the distant future. Life had been very good to all the old friends from their Circus days. Debbie still threw a huge Reunion Party every year for the whole troupe and the couple were looking forward to the next one coming up in a couple of months. They missed the excitement of being a part of their old circus 'family' but they knew that Debbie would never let the memories die out in the same way her business had.

One memory that Brian refused to let die was the day he met Justin for the first time. He honored that day every year with a visit to the Circus no matter how near or far they had to travel to get to a performance. Of course, this one was more important than the others because it was their Silver Anniversary. As they drove down the highway on their way home, Justin's hand lay warmly on Brian's thigh. He looked out his side window at the beautiful scenery they passed through and his mind drifted back...back to the amazing day that was the start of his present life. How could he have known then that the beautiful man in the bright purple, blue, and gold costume who accidentally knocked him to the ground would end up being the very air he breathed...the reason his heart beat every day? It had been their destiny...that Justin knew beyond a doubt. 

Brian and Justin had had their ups and downs like all couples, but they always worked out things together. They never let a disagreement fester until it could poison their relationship. The biggest bone of contention had been Justin's strong urge to be a parent. Brian had been perfectly content with just the two of them as family, but Justin was nothing if not persistent. It took almost a decade for Justin to finally wear Brian's resolve down. It helped that they had become friends with a lesbian couple named Melanie and Lindsay when one of the two, who was a corporate lawyer, was hired to handle Brian's business affairs and her partner turned out to be an art teacher. What started out as a casual friendship, grew over the years. When the girls turned to the boys for a sperm donation so that they could have a child, Brian saw an opportunity to give Justin his greatest wish at last. He agreed to help the girls only if one of them would serve as a surrogate Mom so that Justin could have his child to raise. Everyone agreed and a year later both women gave birth to children within a few weeks of each other. 

Brian and Justin's sperm had been mixed so there was no way to know who fathered which child without tests. No one cared. Both babies, a girl and a boy, were wanted by all four adults. The women decided to raise the girl who had been named Jenny Rebecca. The boy baby was put into Justin's arms and became the son of Brian and Justin. He was given the name of Gus, although no one could explain why. As the years went by, the two couples stayed closely in each other's lives and shared their love for the kids. In a few years, JR and Gus would graduate from high school and leave their doting parents. Justin reflected on what the future might bring for Brian and himself as they got closer to home. They finally saw the lights ahead that outlined the long drive up to their estate. Gus was still away at Summer Camp so the house was dark except for a single light in the front hallway that their maid always left on when she left for home, aware that they would be out after dark.

Brian pulled up to the front door of the house and parked. He pulled Justin closer to him. The couple kissed, their lips melding perfectly together. When Brian released Justin, he turned to get out of the car. Brian restrained him. Justin turned and gave Brian a questioning look. Brian grinned like a little boy who knew a big secret.

"What's up Bri? I don't know about you but that was a long drive and I'm not that young anymore. Our nice big bed is calling to me.'

Brian smiled and raised an eyebrow in that endearing way he had that always melted Justin's heart.

"The bed can wait," Brian declared.

"What? Who are you and what have you done to my boyfriend?"

"Now that is what I want to talk to you about," Brian answered. 

Justin looked puzzled.

"That word, boyfriend. We are a hell of a lot more than boyfriends after twenty-five years together, wouldn't you agree?"

"Of course we are," Justin responded, still sounding puzzled. "But what can we do about it? We've already gotten all our affairs in order legally to protect Gus and ourselves as much as we can in this State. We certainly can't marry anywhere in the United States, at least not yet. Hopefully that will change someday, but who knows when?" 

"All that's true, Sunshine, but I'm not willing to wait for our fellow citizens to get around to giving us our equal rights. Almost everyone we know has gone through a committment ceremony of one kind or another and I think it's about time we jumped on that same bandwagon. Don't you? Even that old weasly ex-boyfriend of yours has done it at least three times according to the fan magazines. All that fame as a top concert violinist has made his private life fodder for the gossip columns. If he can do it repeatedly, don't you think we should have the right to indulge ourselves just once?"

"But I'm confused, Brian. I never bothered you about wanting that kind of committment because you always said that it was a meaningless heterosexual ritual that didn't prove a thing. I agree with you, that going through a ceremony doesn't prove your love for someone. You prove you love me every single day just by standing by me and showing you care about me in every way that counts. I try to do the same thing for you so you'll always know how important you are to me and how much I love you too. Why this sudden urge to make a public declaration?"

"It isn't so sudden. I've been thinking about it for some time, but then I decided...what better Anniversary gift can I give to the only man I will ever love this way than to declare my feelings in front of the whole world and give him the chance to do the same. Of course it all depends on whether you want to make such a declaration for all to see. I may be presuming too much here," Brian closed, with his tongue planted firmly in his cheek and a wicked grin on his face.

Before Justin could answer, Brian reached over Justin and opened the glove box. He immediately pulled out a small velvet-covered box. He sat back and handed the box over to Justin, who stared at it in wonderment. 

"Well don't just stare at it. Open it," Brian ordered.

Justin's fingers began to shake. When Michael and Ben...then Ted and Blake...then Emmett and Drew each went through their committment ceremonies some years back, Justin had longed to ask Brian to do the same. It wasn't envy of the other couples. It was the fact that they had the courage to tell the whole world how they felt about each other, whether it was a legal marriage or not. He knew that he and Brian had a relationship that was just as devoted, but Brian had more than once made it clear that he didn't believe in marriage. A committment ceremony was practically the same thing in their GLBT world...at least it would be until America woke up and recognized the inequality of the laws for their fellow citizens and allowed them legal marriages too. In the meantime, Justin kept his feelings to himself and counted himself lucky that he felt totally secure in his relationship with Brian no matter what name it went under. Now, after twenty-five years his secret wish was coming true. 

Justin slowly opened the box. The hinges squeaked slightly as the top popped open. Inside, Justin saw two white-gold bands, one slightly smaller than the other. He carefully lifted the smaller one out. The band was very simple with no stones to mar its smooth shiny surface. His eye caught something in the inside of the ring. He looked carefully and saw that Brian had had the ring inscribed. It read, in tiny letters...For my other half, I love you Justin. Justin lifted out the larger one. It was inscribed...For my other half, I love you Brian. 

"I might have been a little presumptuous by engraving my own ring with your thoughts. You can have it changed if you want," Brian said, interrupting Justin's thoughts. He looked up at Brian, tears dancing at the corners of his eyes. 

"I wouldn't change a thing. You know my heart better than anyone on this earth," Justin choked out. 

Justin threw his arms around Brian and hugged him as tightly as he could in the confines of the sports car. They kissed deeply, sweetly, tenderly. Twenty-five years, and the passion was just as strong as that first time their lips had met...oddly enough, that was also in a vehicle, the old Jeep that Brian still owned and had been retired to the large family garage. The kiss finally ended and they decided quickly to take their celebration somewhere more comfortable. After all, Justin teased, they weren't as limber as they had been twenty-five years ago. That earned him a smack on his behind as he exited the car, but they soon settled into their king-sized bed and proved that the fire hadn't dimmed one tiny bit over the years. 

**************************************************************

The ceremony had been beautiful. Nothing else would have been acceptable for Brian. He and Justin stood in front of the lay preacher who made her reputation joining gay and lesbian couples. She had even performed the ceremony for Mel and Lindsay right after the children were born. The two men scanned the room which was draped in sweet-smelling flowers that Justin had chosen himself. There they were...all their friends and family gathered to witness how far their love had taken them. Debbie sniffled next to Carl and Vic. Emmett sniffled next to Drew. Ted sniffled next to Blake. Daphne sniffled next to her husband, Ricky. Michael beamed with pride as his own love, Ben lay his arm around his shoulder. Mel and Lindsay sat in their chairs next to a sniffling JR and a proud Gus. There were no blood relatives in the room except for the children, but 'family' was there. Many of the other members of their Circus family had been able to come and also many of their current friends and clients. 

The large room was packed. There was no sign of the nasty ghosts from the past. Ethan Gold was off in Europe playing in another large concert hall and could have cared less what was happening with his ex-boyfriend. He had wisely stayed out of their lives since that day outside the Circus tent when Justin had finally gotten through his thick skull and made him realize what a hopeless pursuit it was in trying to get him back. As for pathetic Kip Thompson, he had been killed during his third year of a fifteen-year sentence for attempted murder. Apparently his arrogance had gotten the better of him and he had challenged the wrong man. Challenges were often answered swiftly and painfully in prison. The homemade shank did its deadly job and Kip was never a concern again. 

Today was not a day to think about the storms of the past. Today was all light and joy. As the couple declared their lifelong committment to each other and the preacher told them to kiss, the room burst into applause. Brian and Justin closed their eyes as they kissed. The sound of applause brought back the thrill of Brian flying through the air and Justin putting all his trust in him as he launched himself out from the trapeze bar, only to be caught up by Brian's strong capable hands. Brian would always be there for Justin, and Justin would always trust him. Together, they would conquer all fears. They would live out their destinies...together.

The End