Brian's POV:
Perfect, just perfect! First, I have to calm Mikey down and convince him he'll make a great Dad and I come here to the back room, for a little tension relief, and I see HIM! So what the fuck did I do to deserve this?
But damn, he looks good. Looks like he needed a little tension relief too. Not that I'm surprised. He looked stressed at the diner this afternoon. Looks like his romance with the Fiddler finally played its last note.
I could have told him to avoid the crap that Ian's kind like to throw out but he needed to learn for himself. Shit, he'll thank me some day.
Now why the hell did I say that? Who even says there will be a some day? We can be friendly, but that's enough for me. Him too, I'm sure! I've given him all I can... taught him what he needs to know to be the best homosexual he can be... that's enough. I've given him my expertise and now it's time for the baby bird to fly on his own.
Yeah right, Kinney. You might fool the others but at least be man enough to be honest with yourself. The little shit might have gotten a little guidance from you but you're no Professor Higgens. The kid was a natural from day one. He hasn't needed your help in a long time. Hell, he taught you a thing or two. But we won't think about that.
Goddamn it! Why does he have to still look so fucking hot! That bald eagle he's servicing probably doesn't even realize how lucky he is. Justin's the best... I can attest to that. Damn, I love looking at him when he doesn't know I'm watching!
Shit! He's seen me. God, look at those eyes. A man could drown in those pools. I could drown in them if I wasn't careful. Yeah, that's me... careful. That's why he never could touch my heart. Oh, that's a good one, Kinney! Why does he make me feel this way? Why don't I just look away? He knows I'm staring at him.
Stop it you idiot! Okay, so I'll look away.
So why did I just look back again? And he's still staring at me. Why the fuck does he look like he still wants me? He already made it clear that I'm not enough for him. Go away little boy!! Nothing for you here. And I sure don't need anything you're offering. I'm still young and good looking enough that I can have anyone in this dump I want. See this trick sucking my cock right now? Can you see, Sunshine? I didn't even have to crook my little finger. He came to me in an instant.
Okay, that nothing you're pounding your beautiful cock into probably came to you just as quick, but he can have you. I already have and I'm NEVER doing repeats again. NEVER!
Then why the fuck am I standing here, staring into those eyes... eyes that tell everything about you... and wish I was close enough to touch those lips. Goddamn those lips. They're so full and soft and pliant. And they have the sweetest taste. And.... Damn, Kinney, get a grip! You sound like one of the munchers. Why don't you just get your balls cut off?
So, kid, you're looking at me like maybe you'd like another go round with me after all. Keep dreaming, kid, if it's true. I don't do repeats. I made an exception with you cause you're cute. Oh
, shit, Kinney! That's a load of crap and you know it. Plenty of good looking meat around here. He's cute, sure, but he's a hell of a lot more than that. Justin's got balls, he fucks better than anyone I've ever known, and he's fucking smart too. I mean he's smart about too many things to count. And he's got more talent in his little finger than all the men I know thrown together. Okay, Kinney, let's face it. He has something else that no one else does. The kid really loved me. You know you drove him away on purpose. I saw his face that night at the Rage party. He went away ‘cause I made him. I tested him and he had had enough. But he didn't really want to go. He kept trying to get me to stop him and I wouldn't give an inch. Why?
Because you think he deserves better than you. That's it. But I want him! That's the truth. I want him to stop looking at me with those puppy dog eyes that bore into me and get his perfect bubble butt over here. I'll tell this pathetic excuse in front of me to go away and I'll make Justin forget all these last months like they never happened!
You know it ain't going to happen, right Kinney! It's a lost cause. You'll get back to who you really are and Justin will eventually find someone else and maybe this time the guy will fit better. You want him to be happy, right? Just let this poor jerk finish you off and you can go home and wait for tomorrow. There's plenty of good times ahead for you, Sonnyboy, and I'm sure Justin will be fine too.
Justin's POV:
Oh, shit! I knew he was here. I saw him when I came in, up on the catwalk talking to Michael. That's why I came to the back room, so I could avoid him. He was such a smart ass at the diner today. Leave it to him to notice that I had the same clothes on I was wearing the night before. He's such a shit, but you have to admit, he's observant. Nothing gets past the Kinney nose. He was probably just waiting for me to fall on my face with Ethan. Aw, c'mon Taylor. You know that's bullshit. Brian has never wanted anything but the best for you. The truth is, he just wants you to be happy. The bastard just doesn't know how to express himself so he backs you into a corner until you have to do what HE thinks is best for you.
Of course you know that you didn't come back here to avoid him, don't you, kid? You knew damn good and well that he'd come back here sooner or later. And you hoped it'd be sooner, didn't you? You WANTED him to see you. You WANT him to know that the Ethan debacle is over. You want him to want you again and this little show you're putting on is strictly for his benefit. God, look at the man. Look at those eyes. If the man was any sexier it'd be illegal.
But you blew it, Taylor. You got impatient and you blew it... and not in a positive life-affirming way either. You know Brian has too much pride to take you back now. Mikey may have pissed you off that day at the diner, but he was right. You spat at everything Brian gave you, especially himself, and you don't have a chance in hell of getting him back. You're just another piece of discarded meat to him now. But if that's true, why does he keep looking at you like that
? I mean, he's looking AT you, not through you. He looks hungry too... like he wants to eat you up. God, Brian! Come get me! Oh, sure, now you are dreaming... wishful thinking there, Sunshine! Geez, remember when he called you a piece of blond boy ass and then called you Sunshine? If he had wanted you so bad why did he say something so hurtful and use that tone when he said Sunshine. Nothing had ever hurt the way that did and he knew it would. Does that sound like someone who still wants you? But there IS something there in his eyes. I can see it. I can feel it. Maybe it's just a reflection of what you want, Taylor. Maybe you're seeing your own longing in his eyes like a mirror. The man never lied to you about who he was, but that wasn't enough. You wanted all the fucking flowers and pretty words to go with the actions. That wasn't Brian. You knew that. You knew him better than anyone, better than folks who had known him ten times longer than you, but you ignored what you knew so you could expect more from him.
Maybe you don't deserve him back.
I don't give a shit! I'm good for him. He knows it deep in his heart and so do I. Fucking this trick in front of me is like drinking water. I need the release, it's a necessity, but there is no flavor. Brian is all flavor... and color and smells and life! Why was I willing to settle for the crumbs I got with Ethan when I had a feast with Brian? Can I just put it down to immaturity... my youth? No excuses
, Justin! You know that's Brian mantra. He'd be ashamed of you for even trying to make them. But, damn it, I've learned my lesson. Am I supposed to pay the rest of my life for a mistake? Aren't we supposed to be cut a break when we're young? Shit, I don't think I can take the way he's looking at me much longer. I want to drop this trick like a bad memory and go over there, tell that jerk who's servicing him to get lost, and drop to my knees. I want to show him I'm sorry and that I'll never make this mistake again. I want to taste him again... feel him again. I want to connect with him the way I used to... the way I never will be able to with anyone else.
Whoa, he looked away for a second. He's sick of the sight of me. I knew it!
But no! He's looking at me again. Those eyes, that mouth. He has the most delicious mouth I've ever known. It's soft and loving one minute and rough and demanding the next. He tastes so damned good. Just one more taste, Brian, please! Oh, shit! I've got to stop this. You'll never have Brian again. Just finish up with what you're doing and get out of here. Go back to your lonely room with Daphne and bury yourself. ‘Cause, kiddo, you ain't going to be living with Brian ever again. He's done with you. All you can do is wish him well and watch his back, if he'll let you. At least we'll stay friends. That's going to have to be enough. There's always tomorrow. Who knows what it holds in store for me. Maybe Daphne will have some good advice on how to work through this Brian problem. I can always hope.
The End (but not for long).
