BRIAN

 

If there’s one place I never expected Justin and I to be, it’s therapy. What makes it even worse is it’s not even for us, or anyone sitting in this room. Ted, Emmett, Blake, Drew, Justin, and I were called to Deb’s to talk to Alex Wilder.  

 

“Explain to me how Lindsay and Michael get court ordered therapy and we’re the ones sitting with the therapist and not them?” I ask, hoping that someone can answer that.

 

“That’s what I want to know.” Ted grumbles.

 

“Because Deb lied to us and said we were here for dinner.” Emmett tells us.

 

“We should have left when we had the chance.” Blake tells us.

 

“Torture seems to be the only answer.” Drew tells us.

 

“Justin, any guesses?” Blake asks him.

 

“Wake me up when it's my turn to take the blame.” Justin tells him.

 

“Justin, there is no blame here.” Alex tells him.

 

“You haven't been in a room with Michael and Lindsay when I'm around.” Justin tells him.

 

“I'll admit there have been some issues raised about you and Brian.” Alex tells him.

 

“Then why are we here?” Ted asks.

 

“I need some help understanding why every session I’ve had with them seems to revolve around Brian and Justin.” He tells us.

 

“Because Michael and Lindsay haven’t gotten over wanting to replace me in Brian’s life.” Justin tells him.

 

“It’s why Ben left Michael. He got tired of Michael pining for Brian.” Emmett tells Alex.

 

“It’s why Mel moved herself and the kids out of the house with Lindsay.” Ted tells him.

 

“What is the reason they came up with for trying to burn down my loft after keying 'ASSHOLE' on my car and throwing red paint all over it?” I ask Alex.

 

“They should really win dumbasses of the year for staying at the scene to fight about whether Michael keying the car was better than Lindsay throwing paint on it.” Emmett snickers.

 

“How about I let them do it to you then I can laugh with you?” I glare at Emmett.

 

“Brian, they threw a bunch of lit matches on your floor, shit they couldn’t even get burning your loft down right.” Ted snorts.

 

“Gentlemen, can we please talk about why this is happening?” Alex asks us.

 

“Because they put the cray in crazy.” Blake tells him.

 

“Blake you're a counselor, you can't say crazy.” Justin jokes with him.

 

“Dude, I council stoners, they’re usually too stoned to understand English.” Blake and Justin high five.

 

“Can we please talk about my patients?” Alex asks us.

 

“I already told you, they want Brian.” Justin tells him.

 

“Justin they are destroying Brian’s property, that usually happens to the person they want to get rid of.” He tells Justin.

 

“You do know that Michael and Lindsay practically worship Brian, right?” Emmett asks him.

 

“Emmett, if you wanted someone, would you do the things these two have done to Brian?” Alex asks.

 

“I'd be at Brian’s side night and day, the way Justin is.” Emmett smirks at Justin.

 

“It works and that's all that counts.” Justin tells him.

 

“Baby, Brian likes your ass...ets.” Emmett tells him.

 

“Well I like how Brian handles my ass...ets.” Justin tells him.

 

I decided to reward the twat. Pulling him to straddle me, he leans in and kisses me. I grab said assets and grind him to me.

 

“Brian can you please put Justin back in his seat?” Alex asks.

 

“Shut up, we're learning here.” Emmett tells Alex.

 

I look at the clowns staring at my ‘asset’ and put Justin back in his seat.

 

“As I was saying, I doubt they would destroy Brian’s property if they wanted Brian.” Alex tells us.

 

“Then who do they want?” Justin asks him.

 

Alex stares at Justin. “You're fucking kidding right? They hate me.” Justin tells him.   

 

“Justin most of the arguments they are having in therapy are about how Brian doesn’t deserve you.” Alex tells him.

 

“Alex you might want to get your hearing checked, because Michael wants to be the one Brian fucks and so does Lindsay.” Emmett tells him.

 

“Brian did fuck Lindsay, at least once.” Ted tells us.

 

“I was stoned dude.” I tell them.

 

“Yeah, I used to have to get pretty drunk to fuck Sierra.” Drew tells us.

“Can we please stay on topic?” Alex asks us.

 

“You want us to believe Michael and Lindsay want Justin?” I ask him.

 

“Michael told me in a private session that he is in love with Justin. He always was. Brian do you remember when you first met Justin?” Alex asks me.

 

“Yes, Michael and I were on our way to the diner. I had been away for a week with work and when I came back Michael was going on and on about this new busboy at the diner. How he was ‘so hot’ and had such a ‘great ass’. He said he was trying to get up the nerve to ask… Holy shit.”

 

“Yeah. Michael wanted to ask Justin out. Do you remember what happened next?” Alex questioned

 

“Michael and I got to the diner and we sat down. Justin came over and brought us coffee. He and I looked at each other and…” I answered.

 

“... it was like we were hit by lightning, we just stared at each other.” Justin finished.

 

I picked it up from there, “Michael introduced us and we shook hands and it was like fireworks.”

 

“After they finished eating, Brian took Michael to work and came back to the diner. He asked what time I was off and I told him that I would be finished in an hour. He asked what I was doing after that and I told him I was free.” Justin continued.

 

“I told Justin I could change that, and he smiled. I waited for him to finish his shift and we left together. We went for a walk in the park, then we went back to the loft and spent the rest of the day making love. It was like we couldn’t get enough of each other.” I told Alex.

 

Justin took up the next part, “We went to Babylon that night. Michael was standing by the bar smiling when we walked in, until he saw that Brian was holding my hand. When we walked up to him he got really nasty, with both of us.”

 

“I just figured Mikey was pissed because I was with someone else and not him. In my defense, Mikey had never told me the name of his crush, and busboys and waiters come and go all the time at the diner.” I finished.

 

Then Justin asked Alex with a shudder, “What the hell is Lindsay mad about? Surely she didn’t want to go out with me.”

 

“No. Brian, Lindsay feels you're getting in the way of Justin's career. She loves Justin’s art and wants to be the one to ‘discover’ him and she is sure that you will stand in his way instead of letting the two of them go off, travel the world and have fabulous careers.” Alex tells us.

 

We all look at each other and burst out laughing at Alex.

 

“Ted, you better watch out because Ren and Stimpy will want Blake next, since they hate him as much as me.” Justin giggles.

 

“Justin, did Michael ever seem to be trying to come on to you, and if he had what would you have said?” Alex asked

 

“No, I don’t recall him ever seeming like he was interested in me. If he had I would have been polite but I would have turned him down. He’s definitely not my type at all. He’s not a troll or anything but he is not the kind of guy I’m attracted to either.” Justin answered honestly.

 

“Do Michael and Lindsay think that destroying Brian’s property is going to make Justin want anything to do with either of them?” Ted asks Alex.

 

“Apparently it was their reaction to Brian buying Justin a house. They feel Brian is making it so Justin won’t leave him.” Alex tells us.

 

“You’re kidding right? Because I can’t imagine how they are going to react when they find out about last weekend.” Emmett tells us.

 

“What happened last weekend?” Alex asks us.

 

“We went to Vegas.” Justin tells Alex.

 

“Why do you think a trip with friends would upset Lindsay and Michael?” Alex asks Emmett.

 

“We all decided to pull a Britney.” Emmett tells him.

 

“What’s a Britney?” He asks Emmett.

 

“I will not be accused of pulling a Britney.” Justin tells Emmett.

 

“Hello, I’m not the one who danced down the aisle to her song ‘Crazy’.” Emmett tells him.

 

“At least I didn’t pick ‘Toxic’.” Justin tells Emmett.

 

“Hey, it just played next, Ted and I wouldn’t have picked that.” Blake tells us.

 

“That would be Michael and Lindsay’s theme song.” Drew tells us.

 

“If we could get back to my patients, I would appreciate it.” Alex tells us.

 

“At least Ted and I didn't walk down the aisle to the song from the ‘Bodyguard’.” Blake tells us.

 

“What was wrong with ‘I Will Always Love You’?” Emmett asks us.

 

“She was singing it to tell him that she'd love him even though they weren’t going to be together.” Ted tells him.

 

“I thought she was telling him she loves him, please don't tell me they didn’t stay together.” Emmett asks Ted.

 

“Didn’t you watch it?” Justin asks him.

 

“I was upset when someone shot Kevin Costner and stopped the movie. I just assumed that Hollywood would keep them together.” He tells Justin.

 

“Emmett, writers sometimes try to make a statement. They think what they want is important, not what the fans want.” I tell him.

 

“That's just stupid, so she didn’t stay with him?” He asks us.

 

“No. Apparently they loved each other but weren't going to stand in each other's way.” Justin tells him.

 

“I'm never going to watch the end now. I wanted them to be together. “ Emmett tells us.

 

“I would like to get back to the reason you all are here.” Alex tells us.

 

“We thought we were having dinner. Hopefully you plan on feeding us, because I skipped lunch for pasta.” Emmett tells him.

 

“I'm kind of hungry too.” Justin tells him.

 

“Hey, want to go to the Italian restaurant that just opened?” Emmett asks us.

 

“Brian, I need to help your friends. In order to do that I need everyone to talk to me.” Alex tells us.

 

“Tell Ren and Stimpy I don't want either of them.” Justin tells Alex.

 

“Justin it's not that simple, they believe that with Brian out of the way, you'll want them.” He tells Justin.

 

“Sounds like your problem Doc.” Justin tells him.

 

“Unless I can convince both of them that you aren't going to do what they want, Brian is the one with the problem. “ Alex tells us.

 

“Just tell them if they destroy anything else, I'll kick their asses.” I tell him.

 

“Brian, I want to help them.” Alex tells me.

 

“You can't fix stupid Doc.” Drew tells him.

 

“Look, I was hoping that I could schedule a session with Brian and Justin. I think Michael and Lindsay would be more likely to listen with them in the session.” He tells us.

 

“We should all come, it’s bound to end in a fight.” Emmett tells us.

 

“I can see it, Lindsay telling Michael how she only wants what's best for Justin. It would go like this, ‘Michael, Justin needs to reach his potential, and with me he'll travel the world. We could meet famous artists and become each other's muses’.” Ted says in a weird WASPy voice.  

 

“Michael would be singing Justin was his ‘Hero’ in a whiney voice.” Blake tells us.

 

“He'd probably have you wearing superhero undies.” Emmett tells a gagging Justin.

 

“Hey, Lindsay would probably offer up her womb, you know, for the kid you said you wanted. In fact she would probably want to do it the natural way.” Blake tells Justin.

 

“While I love Gus, no way is my child having ‘I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs’ in their DNA. And HELLO, I’m still gay, don’t want pussy.” Justin tells him.

 

“Justin, this is serious. They were talking about kidnapping you, in the waiting room.” Alex tells him.

 

“Yeah, I could see them waiting for Justin and talking loudly enough that everyone in Pittsburgh would know their plan.” Ted tells him.

 

“Obviously they haven't learned not to talk in front of everyone.” I tell him.

 

“Hey, what about that new seafood place?” Emmett asks us.

 

“They have that all you can eat shrimp.” Blake tells Justin.

 

“We should go.” Justin tells me.

 

“Can we please talk about my patients?” Alex asks again.

 

“Why, they're still going to be crazy tomorrow. I'm hungry tonight.” Emmett tells him.

 

The guys get up and decide on seafood tonight. Alex tells us he's coming with us, in hopes they will listen after they eat.

 

“You want us to listen?” Justin asks him.

 

“I want you to help me, help them.” He tells Justin.

 

“Then dinner is on you. We all know you're wasting your time, but if you want to waste our time, you feed us.” Emmett tells him.

 

Alex tells Justin he should ride with him, so he can explain what he needs from Justin.

 

“Not happening Doc, I married my assets, so they ride with me.” I joke.

 

“I just visualized that, it's hot.” Emmett tells me.

 

“It is.” Justin winks at Emmett.

 

“You go, Baby.” Emmett tells him.

 

ALEX

 

These men don’t realize exactly how crazy Lindsay and Michael are becoming. I didn’t tell them about Michael cutting Brian out of pictures of Brian and Michael and putting Justin in Brian’s place. Lindsay wanted to show me the loft she bought and decorated to look like Brian’s loft. Michael told me he wants he and Justin to move into his mother's house, so Justin wouldn't have to do anything but be with him. Every session is them trying to prove to me which one of them is the best for Justin. The fact that Brian and Justin are now married is going to be their worst nightmare.

 

At the restaurant, Justin orders enough to feed everyone for himself. Brian asks for a beer, saying he'll snack off Justin plate.

 

“That’s why I ordered all that. Brian acts like he won’t eat, but he just takes my food.” Justin tells me.

 

“Drew and I would do that but we don't like the same foods.” Emmett tells him.

 

“Ted and I do that, but I'm too hungry to share tonight.” Blake tells us.

 

“If someone had told us why we were really coming over tonight, we'd have just come here.” Ted tells us.

 

“Deb told me you wouldn't come if we told you the truth.” Alex tells us.

 

“Well so far you haven’t given us a good reason to bother with either Michael or Lindsay.” Emmett tells me.

 

“I'm worried that both of them are going to keep causing problems for Brian if I can't get them to see what they're doing.” I tell them.

 

“We should all just go on a honeymoon. We could send them pictures.” Drew tells them.

 

“Then Michael could cut out Brian and insert himself easily next to Justin.” I tell them.

 

“Um that's really creepy, why would you say that?” Justin asks me.

 

“To get you to see how serious this has become. Let me add that Lindsay set up a loft to look like Brian’s loft, in her mind it will make the move easier on you.” I tell him.

 

“Wasn’t there a movie made like that?” Emmett asks them.

 

“Yeah, ‘Single White Female’. Brian if Lindsay dyes her hair brown and starts wearing Armani, watch out.” Blake tells him.

 

“But in that one she tries to seduce the boyfriend of the other girl. Guess that would be Michael.” Ted tells them.

 

“So the moron twins could be planning on getting rid of Brian?” Drew asks me.

 

“I don’t think they would kill Brian, just keep pissing him off.” Emmett tells them.

 

“If I can’t get them to come back to the real world, it's going to get worse. Justin haven't you noticed them around more often? In every session they have to give me a daily journal and you're in every entry.” I ask him.

 

“I see them because I work at the diner three days a week. Then I'm in class the other days. Brian and I spend the weekends out with everyone else, and we see them, but it's not like they accost me.” He tells me.

 

“Lindsay hasn’t been talking to you everyday?” I ask him.

 

“I tend to ignore both of them, because unlike what you've been telling us, they snipe at me.” He tells me.

 

“What kind of things are they saying?” I ask to keep him talking.   

 

“Mostly that Brian is going to get tired of me. I need to start looking at options other than Brian supporting me. Michael likes to tell me, 'Brian doesn’t do love' all the time, and I should look for someone else, someone that will love me. I didn’t think he meant him. Lindsay told me that Brian wouldn’t support my schooling forever, so I need to leave him. They don't say it nicely.” He tells me.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me they were saying those things to you?” Brian asks him.

 

“I honestly don't listen to their crap. It becomes white noise because they say it so much.” I tell him.

 

“Justin, even though they are saying in a nasty way, if you think about what I've already told you. The advice they are giving you is to get Brian out of your life, so they could take over in his place.” I tell him.

 

“You know, the honeymoon idea is starting to sound better and better. We could leave tonight, that way Michael and Lindsay won't have access to their obsession.” Emmett tells them.

 

“Who's going on a honeymoon?” Michael asks us.

 

“Michael, you know you can’t be near Brian.” I warn him.

 

“I didn’t know they were here.” He tells me.

 

“You do now, so you need to go or I have to report it.” I tell him.

 

“I want to know why they're talking about a honeymoon.” He looks at Justin.

 

“You don’t need to know.” Brian tells him.

 

“I want to congratulate the happy couple. At one time Emmett and Ted would have included me, not Brian.” He tells them.

 

“Like I said cray in crazy.” I hear Blake whisper to Brian.

 

“Justin you need to stop being blind, Brian doesn’t want you. That house he bought is just his way of keeping you, like a boy toy.” He sneered.

 

“Michael you need to leave and I'm scheduling a session tomorrow with you and your parole officer.” I tell him.

 

“I'm not doing anything but talking to Emmett. “ He tells me.

 

“Excuse us, I need to talk to Michael.” I tell them.

 

EMMETT

 

“Now about that honeymoon, I want somewhere warm.” I tell them.

 

“Brian and I were thinking Hawaii.” Justin tells me.

 

“Why would you and Brian think of anything?” Michael asks Justin.

 

“Michael, we need to go outside and talk.” Alex tells him.

 

“I want to know why Brian would go on a honeymoon with my… Justin.” Michael tells him.

 

“Because I married Justin.” Brian tells him.

 

“NO!” Lindsay shouts.

 

“I did get a restraining order, right?” Brian asks Alex.

 

“Brian, please let me get them out of here.” Alex tells him.

 

“You have one minute, because that's how long it will take for me to make the call.” I tell him.

 

“Emmett, they need help not another night in jail. I know I can help them.” Alex tells me.

 

“To bad there isn’t a rehab for wishful thinking, Alex could get help for his.” Ted tells us.

 

“At least he could keep Michael and Lindsay company.” Brian tells him.

 

“Michael, Lindsay, it's time to leave, while Brian is being kind enough not to call and have you both taken in.” Alex tells them.

 

“Justin needs to know he has better options.” Lindsay tells him.

 

“We only want what's best for Justin.” Michael tells him.

 

“Go find someone else, because Justin is off limits. You’re both skating on thin ice as it is.” Brian tells them.

 

We watch as Alex finally gets them out the door.

 

“I say we make a run for it.” I tell them.

 

“Just don’t answer your phones if Deb calls.” Brian tells us.

 

“I think we all know better now.” Ted tells him.

 

We all start eating faster so we can leave, I waved for the check fifteen minutes later. I figured Alex was probably trying to make sure they left.

 

“Hey, Brian you might want to call the police.” Drew tells him looking out front.

 

“Why?” He asks turning to see what Drew was looking at.

 

“Because that's Emmett’s new car Lindsay and Michael just smashed the windshield out of. I come with a team to help me dump the bodies.” He tells Brian.

 

“Holy shit, I'm going to kill them.” I snarl.

 

“Guess it's not funny when it happens to you.” Brian smiles at me.

 

“Baby, you're about to have two less stalkers.” I tell him as I head to the door.

 

 

JUSTIN

 

“Are we going to stop him?” Ted asks us.

 

“Why, it's bound to be more entertaining than listening to Alex.” I tell him.

 

“Where is Alex?” Blake asks as we follow Emmett out the door.

 

“Good question.” I tell him.

 

We  all follow Emmett out the door. I start looking for Alex, while Emmett is threatening to kill them both. Brian follows me around the corner to the alley but we don't see Alex anywhere. I shrug and turn around to go see if he was where the others were. We came up to Ted and Blake holding a snarling Emmett. Lindsay and Michael are standing with their backs against the wall as Drew cages them in.

 

“Drew, we can't find Alex.” I yell.

 

“What did you two do with the Doc?” He asks them.

 

“Let us go and we'll let him go.” Michael tells him.

 

“You do get that he's the only one keeping your asses out of jail?” Emmett sneers.

 

“He's keeping Justin away from us.” Lindsay tells us.

 

“Where the fuck did you put him?” Brian asks them.

 

“You'll never find him.” Michael tells him.

 

We hear a thump in the car next to Emmett’s.  Brian and Ted walk over and there is another thump from the trunk. Ted opens the car door and pops the trunk. I walk over when Brian barks out a laugh. There was Alex, shrink wrapped, with a gag in his mouth.

 

“Well Doc still think you can help them?” Brian asks him.

 

At his nod, Brian closes the trunk.”Emmett let the police know the where to find Alex.” Brian tells him as we see the police pull up.

 

“So Hawaii?” Ted asks us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ALEX 

 

A week later I'm sitting in my office with Michael and Lindsay handcuffed to their chairs. I didn't trust them not to try to subdue me again. They were both in custody until this morning when Michael managed to make bail for them.

 

“Do either of you understand how serious this is becoming?” I ask them.

 

“We need to figure out how to get an annulment for Justin.” Lindsay tells Michael.

 

“He’s under Brian’s spell, we need to break that first.” Michael tells her. 

 

“I need you two to answer me.” I tell them. 

 

“We don't want to listen to you anymore. You keep trying to make it seem like Justin is better off without me.” Michael tells me. 

 

“Or me. I only want to help him rise to the top of the art world.” She tells me. 

 

“I'm the only one left to listen to you.” I tell them. 

 

“Maybe we should tell Justin’s mom to talk to him.” Michael tells Lindsay. 

 

“Jen has been really bitchy when I call.” She tells him. 

 

“Lindsay, we talked about you not contacting Jennifer anymore.” I tell her. 

 

“If only Ma hadn't been pissed at us, we could have had her talk to Jen. She and Jen are best friends.” Michael tells her.

 

“It was your idea to stuff Alex in the trunk. I just said to stop him from talking.” She tells him. 

 

“You two are aware I can hear you, aren't you?” I ask them. 

 

“I figured since we brought the kidnapping kit, it could be used to keep Alex subdued.” He tells her. 

 

“You should have knocked him out.” She tells him. 

 

“You really need to remember these sessions are taped.” I tell them. 

 

“I didn’t say kill you, just make you harder to find.” She clarifies.

 

“Lindsay that doesn't sound any better.” I tell her. 

 

“Lindsay, you know I don't like violence.” Michael tells her.

 

“You don’t call what you've done to Brian and Emmett violent?” I ask him. 

 

“We hurt their cars, not them.” Michael tells me. 

 

“We were just a little upset.” Lindsay tells me. 

 

“What would you do if you were more upset?” I ask her.

 

“Alex don't ask stupid questions. We are more upset now.” She tells me. 

 

“Because Brian married Justin?” I ask them. 

 

“No, we expected him to try to keep Justin.” She tells me. 

 

“Then what?” I ask them. 

 

“Now we know that there are more people against us, they should be trying to help us save Justin, not helping Brian keep him.” Michael tells me. 

 

“I'm trying to save you, but until you admit Justin doesn’t want what you do, we aren't going make any progress.” I tell them. 

 

“Justin wants love, it's all we want to give him.” Michael tells me. 

 

“Brian will eventually go back to tricking and hurt Justin.” Lindsay tells me. 

 

“Brian married Justin.” I tell them. 

 

“They were probably drunk and Justin didn't realize what he was doing.” Michael tells Lindsay.

 

“Maybe Mel could help Justin get out of it.” Lindsay tells him. 

 

“She isn’t going to help us.” Michael tells her.

 

“She doesn’t like Brian, so she'd really be fucking Brian, not helping us.” She tells him. 

 

“Don’t your parents have lawyers?” Michael asks her.

 

“Yes, but my mother refuses to help anymore.” She tells him. 

 

“Why, I thought she liked you were no longer with Mel?” Michael asks her.

 

“She didn’t like that we made the news.” She tells him. 

 

“It’s not our fault Drew is famous.” He tells her. 

 

“That’s what I told her.” She tells him. 

 

“Will you two stop acting like you aren’t in therapy.” I tell them. 

 

“You should be helping Justin. He's the one who doesn't realize how unhealthy a relationship with Brian is.” Michael tells me. 

 

“You should get him here, then we could explain to him why he needs us.” Lindsay tells me. 

 

“Then explain it to me so we can talk about why you are both here.” I tell her. 

 

“We aren't telling you anything, you told on us.” Michael tells me. 

 

“You both gave me permission to tell Justin.” I remind them.

 

“We were trying to get you to bring Justin to us. You couldn’t even do that right.” Lindsay tells me. 

 

“What would bringing him here have done?” I ask them. 

 

“It would have gotten him away from Brian’s reach.” Michael tells me. 

 

“Shut up, he doesn't need to know that.” Lindsay tells Michael. 

 

“I didn’t tell him we were going to kidnap Justin after we had locked Alex in the closet.” Michael whispers loudly. 

 

“Again, I'm sitting in front of both of you.” I tell them. 

 

“If we had just gotten to Justin before they took off with him.” Michael tells her. 

 

I just wanted to bang my head on the desk. What will it take to get through to them? 

 

JUSTIN 

 

“Explain how we managed to get stuck with you again?” Brian asks Alex. 

 

“I'm learning it pays to sneak up on you guys.” He tells us. 

 

“If the stalker twins show up, we are going to put you all in a locked dumpster together.” Emmett tells Alex.

 

“I'm not able to get either of them to see reason. They now seem to think you're all responsible for keeping Justin away from them.” Alex tells us. 

 

“Good work Doc.” Ted tells him. 

 

“They are spending sessions plotting together.” Alex tells us. 

 

“In front of you?” Blake asks him. 

 

“Yes, it's like they don’t notice I'm there at times.” He tells us. 

 

“What do you think we can do?” I ask him. 

 

“In the past, how did you get them to listen to you?” Alex asks Brian.

 

“I didn’t care if they were listening or not.” Brian tells him. 

 

“Brian, when we first met they practically hung on every word you said.” Alex tells Brian. 

 

“Because... I... didn't... pay... attention... to... them.” Brian says slowly. 

 

“That won't work for me. It’s my job to listen so I can help them.” Alex  tells him. 

 

“Well following us to Hawaii isn't going to help them either.” I tell him. 

 

“Justin you need more lotion, come here.” Brian tells me. 

 

“Brian, you put any more on him and he could play slip and slide.” Emmett tells him. 

 

“Shut up Emmett, we're waiting for an ass shot.” Ted tells Emmett. 

 

“Excuse me, who's we?” Blake glares at Ted.

 

“Babe, just once, that's all I ask.” Ted tells him. 

 

“Well, I guess we all have our fantasies.” Blake answered

 

“Ted, are you trying to join Michael and Lindsay?” Drew asks him.

 

“At least Justin is the same body type as Blake. Blake can’t even claim the same thing.” Ted growls.

 

“Ted, I didn’t mean I wanted him, just he has a great body.” Blake tells him. 

 

“Thank you.” Brian tells him. 

 

“I was talking about Emmett.” Blake smirks.

 

“Sure you were.” Brian tells him. 

 

“He really was.” Ted tells Brian. 

 

“I get the appeal of both of them.” Drew agrees.

 

“Yeah, but Brian was my fantasy before he opened his mouth the day we meet.” Emmett tells them. 

 

“I think there was a compliment in there somewhere.” I tell Brian. 

 

“It wouldn’t matter, because none of them made my list.” Brian tells me. 

 

“Drew did.” Ted tells us. 

 

“If he bottomed I would have tried, he's eye candy.” Brian tells me. 

 

“Yeah, I've fantasized about all of them once or twice.” I tell him. 

 

“Me too Baby?” Emmett asks me. 

 

“I'm verse, so of course.” I tell him. 

 

“How does that work if you married Brian?” Alex asks me. 

 

“The same as before.” I tell him. 

 

“I thought you were here to ask about Michael and Lindsay, not me or Justin?” Brian asks him. 

 

“I am, but you're all avoiding the discussion.” Alex tells us. 

 

“We are trying to enjoy our vacation, which you weren’t invited too. Why are you still helping them? I sure as hell wouldn’t help people who tied my ass up.” I tell him. 

 

“Wait how could you be here when they have sessions three times a week?” Emmett asks him. 

 

“They are back in jail again.” He tells us. 

 

“My house better be standing.” I growl.

 

“It's fine, they kind of pissed off Mel.” He tells us. 

 

“And?” Emmett asks. 

 

“When she kicked them out of her house, they toilet papered her lawn.” Alex seems to not want to tell us the worst part.

 

“And?” Emmett asks. 

 

“Michael tried to use a blowtorch to write Justin loves Michael on Mel's lawn.” He tells us. 

 

“AND” Brian asks glaring.

 

“Lindsay and him were fighting about how the heart wasn't very artistic. Lindsay tried to get the blowtorch out of Michael’s hand. He was holding it over his head and ended up catching the toilet paper on fire. It would have been okay if they hadn't uses fifty rolls on the tree they set on fire.” Alex tells us.

 

“Are Gus and Jenny okay?” Brian asks him. 

 

“The fire burned down the neighbor's house, who was on vacation. So no one was hurt. At least in the fire.” Alex tells us. 

 

“Why didn’t Mel call us.” Ted asks Alex. 

 

“She probably will as soon as she's released today.” He tells us. 

 

“Is she in the hospital?” Blake asks worried.

 

“No, Carl had to put her in jail.” He tells us. 

 

“What for?” I ask him. 

 

“Michael and Lindsay tried to escape, when the police arrived so Mel jumped on her motorcycle to, as she put it, “knock some sense in them”. Carl is trying to get Mel off the assault with a motor vehicle charge.” He tells us. 

 

“Where were the kids?” Brian asks. 

 

“Her girlfriend had them safe in the house. Mel crashed into them, but wasn't hurt. Michael was wearing a superhero outfit so it was torn but he only had a few scraps. Lindsay would have been fine but when she jumped out of the way some burning toilet paper landed in her hair, she had to get it buzzed. The problem is now they are trying to charge Mel with attempted murder.” He tells us. 

 

“We need to get home. Call Larry and see if he can get Mel out of jail.” I tell Brian. 

 

“I came to see if you'd agree to sit in a session with them.” He tells me. 

 

“Why would I want to help them?” I ask him. 

 

“It's the only way they'll drop the charges on Mel.” He tells me. 

 

“So I sit there, then Mel isn’t going to be charged.” I ask him. 

 

“They told Carl they would drop the charges if you agree. I promise they won't be able to touch Justin.” He tells Brian. 

 

“How can you promise that?” Brian asks him. 

 

“They have to be handcuffed to their chairs in order to get me to agree to treat them.” Alex tells us. 

 

“We are all going, just to see that.” Emmett tells him. 

 

“In the interest of full disclosure, they promise not to kidnap you.” Alex tells me. 

 

 

 

 

BRIAN 

 

All the guys were sitting in Alex’s waiting room when Justin and I arrived. Emmett was carrying a picnic basket.

 

“Are we having lunch?” I ask him. 

 

“I brought snacks, like you do when your going to the movies.” Emmett tells us.  

 

“Hopefully we won’t need lunch.” Ted tells us.

 

“Please, they are most likely going to talk us to death.” Blake tells us and hands Justin an art magazine.

 

“Alex told us that they were going to meet in there before we came in.” Drew tells us.

 

“I want to see Lindsay’s new do.” Emmett tells us.

 

“I want to go home and practice being a loving husband.” Drew tells Emmett and I high five that excellent idea.

 

“Honey, you have that down pat.” Emmett tells Drew.

 

“Never hurts to practice.” I tell Emmett.

 

“I think we should just run before Alex can trap us with the moron twins.” Ted tells us.

 

“Too late.” Blake whispers to us as Alex comes out of the office.

 

“Okay, I got them to agree that you could all come in, but they only want to talk to Justin.” He tells us.

 

“According to you they’ll just talk and we get to be entertained.” Emmett tells him as we walk into the office. 

 

I look at Lindsay and I have to say, she was not made for buzz cuts. They both stare at Justin as he walks in and I grab him and sit him on my lap. If their looks could kill I would be six feet under.

 

“Now Michael and Lindsay, you remember that we agreed that this would be productive, we are not going to talk about what you think, but about why what you're doing is wrong.” Alex tells them.

 

“Couldn’t Justin sit with us?” Michael scowls at me.

 

“Justin is fine where he is.” I tell them both.

 

“He’s not allowed to talk, we agreed.” Lindsay tells Alex.

 

“Can we get on with this? I want to do something other than deal with these two.” Drew tells Alex with his own scowl at them.

 

“Michael, I need you to tell Justin and Brian why what you were doing was wrong.” Alex tells Michael.

 

“We got caught, that’s the only thing that went wrong.” Michael tells Alex.

 

“We wouldn’t have if you would learn to listen to me.” Lindsay tells Michael.

 

“You were the one who wanted to act like throwing paint was artistic, we did that in kindergarten.” Michael tells her.  

 

“I was expressing my feelings, Justin would understand that. We like to show our emotions when we create.” She tells us.

 

“I hate to agree with Michael, but yeah that was kindergarten.” Ted whispers to Justin.

 

“Don’t talk to Justin. You’re keep helping Brian keep him.” Lindsay tells Ted.

 

“Lindsay, we agreed you wouldn’t do anything but talk about why you two are doing all of this.” Alex reprimands her.

 

“No, you talked and spouted shit. Lindsay and I want Justin to see that we are really what’s best for him.” Michael tells Alex.

 

“Justin, think of what we could do if you would get Brian out of your life. I could help inspire you to work towards a rewarding career. We could blow the doors off the art world with me as your muse.” Lindsay tells him.

 

“Wait, you told me that I would get to be with Justin. Where am I in that life?” Michael asks her.

 

“Michael you wouldn’t fit in, you can see Justin, but like Brian, you need to understand that I’m offering him a better life.” She tells him.

 

“You lying bitch. You’ve been telling me that I would get to be with him.” Michael tries to get to her.

 

“Hope the chair doesn’t break.” Blake whispers.

 

“I was trying to let you live with your delusions. Why would he want you? Look at who he wants, you couldn’t compete with Brian. Justin likes beauty and you aren’t it.” Lindsay tells him.

 

“Yeah, the butch look is a real turn on.” Justin whispers to me giggling.

 

“See, Justin is even laughing at the idea you would be something he could be interested in.” Lindsay tells Michael.

 

“He’s probably laughing at the idea of you being his muse. Last I checked he was into dick, not twat.” Michael tells her.

 

“He’s got her there.” Emmett whispers to me and hands Justin a sandwich.

 

“Well it wouldn’t matter, because he’d have to look hard to find yours.” She tells Michael.

 

“Maybe that’s why he never got naked at the gym.” Ted whispers to Emmett.

 

“Jealous that I at least have the right equipment?” Michael asks her.

 

“This isn’t why we’re here, can you two please pay attention and do what we talked about?” Alex seems exasperated.

 

“No, we don’t want to do what you said.” Michael tells him but couldn’t get his arms close enough to cross.

 

“Michael, we need to get Justin to realize that Brian will never be good for him.” Lindsay tells him.

 

“You’re out for yourself, Justin just needs to hear how he and I should be together.” Michael tells her.

 

“Justin, maybe it would help if you told them how you feel about this.” Alex tells Justin, who just took a big bite of his sandwich.

 

Michael and Lindsay smile as he chews and chews then when he finally swallows, they both start expressing concern for him.

 

“Get him a drink.” Lindsay orders Emmett.

 

“Ma could cook for us everyday, you would be able to open the refrigerator and see food, not poppers.” Michael tells him.

 

“Justin, just say no to Brian when he offers you drugs.” Lindsay adds to this crazy conversation.

 

“Alex, maybe we should find out if Brian has started using drugs to alter Justin’s mind.” Michael tells Alex who looks confused. “In my comics that’s how they convince the good guy to do stupid things.” He tells Alex.

 

“Michael, that isn’t real.” Alex tells him.

 

“How else do you explain him staying with Brian?” Michael tells him.

 

“I stay because I love Brian, not you or Lindsay.” Justin speaks up.

 

“Justin you just think you do, if you would just come to my loft, you’d see that what I could offer you is so much better.” Lindsay tells him.

 

“Justin, I could love you in a way that you’ve never been loved.” Michael gives him a pouty look. Maybe that was supposed to be sexy.

 

“I’m staying with him.” Justin tells them as he leans back and kisses me.

 

“No Justin, don’t kiss Brian, he probably has some kind of love potion on his lips that keeps you from seeing that you love me.” Michael starts hopping his chair up and down to move towards us.

 

“Justin, I can give you children and a life.” Lindsay joins in the hopping.

 

“Twenty on Michael getting here first.” Ted whispers to us.

 

Drew and Blake get up and walk around the bouncing duo and turn them around to the Doc. I was disappointed because Lindsay was leading.

 

“If you both don’t do what we came here to do than I’m going to let Justin leave.” Alex tells them.

 

“You’re against us too.” Lindsay tells him.

 

“We want another doctor, you keep helping them.” Michael stick his thumb in our direction.

 

“I’m the only one willing to keep treating you.” He tells them.

 

“I think we should complain to Carl that Alex isn’t helping us.” Lindsay tells Michael.

 

“Carl wants you both in jail.” Alex tells them.

 

“Ma needs to leave Carl, he’s getting in the way of my destiny.” Michael looks at Justin and licks his lips.

 

“He’s mine, not yours.” Lindsay tells him and pushes with her feet to knock Michael’s chair over.

 

“He wouldn’t want you, you're a girl, I’m all man.” Michael yells as they both topple over.

 

“Wonder how they plan to get up.” Emmett holds Drew to keep him from going over to help them.

 

“Do you have a pickle, I kind of want one right now?” Justin asks Emmett.

 

“Of course, I made sure to get everything.” Emmett tells Justin and hands him one.

 

“I could use a drink.” I tell them.

 

“I think we all could.” Justin tells him watching Lindsay and Michael try to get at each other. 

 

“Can you guys help me get them up?” Alex asks as he holds their heads away from each other.

 

“Nope, we decided that as entertaining as this has been, we want to party.” Emmett tells Alex.

 

“I wanted to… FUCK, Michael get your teeth off my hand.” Alex tells Michael as he continues to bite down on Alex’s hand.

 

“Watch out Doc, Lindsay…” I try to warn Alex as she latches on Alex’s leg.

 

“Should we help him?” Blake asks.

 

“Why, he’d just want us to stay.” Justin tells him.

 

“Let’s go while they have him hostage.” Drew tells us.

 

We get up and start leaving the office, I figured the receptionist could get the pitbulls to let Alex go.

 

“You guys can’t leave me like this.” Alex tells us as we close the door.

 

“Hey, you might want to help your boss.” I tell the girl.

 

“Huh.” She stares at me with a smile.

 

Ted snaps his fingers in front of her eyes. “He said you might want to get Alex’s hand and leg out of his patients biting range.” Ted tells her.

 

“What?” She doesn’t seem to look anywhere but at me.

 

“Emmett, you try.” Ted tells him.

 

“She’s in the ‘Kinney Zone’ you just don’t escape that easily.” Justin tell Ted.

 

We hear a yelp and then Michael screaming for Lindsay to catch Justin before Alex escapes. 

 

“Get Justin out of here.” Blake tells Brian.

 

“Like I’m afraid of them.” Justin tells Blake.

 

“Which would you rather to spend the night with, Brian or the police when Brian kills them?” Ted tells Justin.

 

We watch as the door opens but Alex must have gotten out of where they put him because he grabs the backs of their shirts. Michael is still trying to run but is just running in place. Lindsay shows us she’s smarter by turning so Alex loses his grip and runs to get to Justin. Drew stands in her way.

 

“Lindsay, tackle him.” Michael yells.

 

“Yeah, why not try.” Drew rolls his eyes as he stands in front of Justin.

 

“Justin, come with me and I’ll help you get away from Brian.” She begs trying to look around Drew.

 

“Wait, Justin should come with me we could spend all night making love.” Michael tells him.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you two? First you hate my ass. Now you want it?” My drama princess finally shows up.

 

“Justin, I was upset that Brian took you from me. He knew I wanted you. I should have just showed you how much I love you.” Michael tells him.

 

“Justin, I was trying to show you that you could be more than Brian’s toy.” Lindsay tells him.

 

“We should have tied you up.” Michael tells Alex.

 

“You’d still have to get through us.” Blake tells us.

 

“You're just jealous that I don’t want you.” Michael tells Blake.

 

“Doc, I’m with Drew, you can’t cure stupid.” Blake tells Alex.

 

 

 

ALEX 

 

I ended up going to the emergency room because Justin went on and on about human mouths carrying more germs than anything else. Carl showed up while everyone was arguing in my office. Michael and Lindsay were taken in even though I told Carl I didn’t want to press charges. Carl told me it was so I could get the bites taken care of and the rest of the guys could get peace from my attackers.

 

“You know that if you get an infection from those bites you could lose your limbs.” Justin informs me.

 

“Baby, you know if you didn’t insist we all come with Alex we could be drunk right now.” Emmett tells him.

 

“Yeah, but Alex shouldn’t have to be alone at the hospital.” Justin tells them, while Brian rolls his eyes.

 

“Like we don’t know you want to know what happened when we left Alex’s office.” Ted tells Justin.

 

“I’m just trying to figure out how they outsmarted Alex.” Justin tells Ted.

 

“Even I’m curious about that.” Blake looks at me.

 

I honestly don’t want to tell them. Lindsay and Michael have never been what I would call intelligent, but they seem to find ways to keep subduing me. I start rubbing my leg in hopes they’ll stop trying to get an answer out of me.

 

“So Doc, want to tell us why they always seem to be able to lock you up?” Brian smirks.

 

“It wasn’t really a big deal.” I tell them.

 

“I want to get wasted with my man tonight and you need to explain what happened so I can get Baby to come with us.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Lindsay let go of my leg and when I leaned over and was trying to pry my hand out of Michael’s mouth, she got the key to the handcuffs out of my pocket and got herself free. Then she handcuffed me to her chair. She unlocked Michael and he threw the key on the floor when he got free. I grabbed it and ran to stop them.” I tell them.

 

“Why did you put the key in your pocket, wouldn’t have made more sense to put it somewhere they couldn’t reach?” Justin looks at me like he’s questioning my IQ.

 

“How did she know where to find the key?” Blake asks me.

 

“I put it in my pocket on the way out the door, I didn’t want to give them a way to escape while I was getting all of you.” I tell them.

 

“You know Doc, it could be time for you to give up on them.” Drew tells me.

 

“I know if I can just find the right therapy I could help them.” I tell them.

 

“Yes, it’s called a padded cell with three meals.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Emmett if it was one of you, wouldn’t you want them to get better?” I ask him.

 

“Hello, if it was one of us, we’d get away with it. No need for you.” Blake tells me.

 

“I wouldn’t be announcing to everyone in the area what my plans were. It’s how I get away with the things I do.” Justin tells me.

 

“He’s right, most of the time nobody figures out it’s Justin until Emmett tells.” Ted tells me.

 

“Hey, I didn’t mean to tell what Justin did to Chris Hobbs.” Emmett tells us.

 

“At least that was funny and not criminal.” Brian tells us.

 

“I just thought if he wanted to keep caging me in, he deserved to stay where he was.” Justin tells us smiling.

 

“I still don’t get how he didn’t see the glue on the wall.” Ted tells us.

 

“He was too interested in telling me he wasn’t gay, while trying to get as close as possible.” Justin tells us smiling.

 

“Didn’t they have to rip the skin off his hands to get him loose?” Drew asks Justin.

 

“And cut off his clothes when Daphne spread the glue all over the wall and shoved Chris’s body into it.” Justin tells him.

 

“He should join the idiot twins, they could all plot together.” Ted tells them.

 

“Like he would be any smarter than those two, he barely made it out of school.” Justin tells us.

 

“If you had just told me what you were doing I could have given you my formula for glue, they would have had to remove the wall to get him loose.“ Brian tells Justin.

 

“Daphne wanted to help, she felt left out.” Justin tells him.

 

“We need to call her, she’d probably love to help with Lindsay and Michael.” Blake tells them.

 

“They don’t need you guys plotting against them too. It won’t help them, just egg them on.” Alex tells us.

 

“At least it would be fun, so far we’ve been highly entertained, but imagine how much fun it could be to thwart them.” Justin tells Brian excited.

 

“I’m so calling my woman and telling her to get her fanny here, we have plans to make.” Emmett tells Justin and Blake.

 

“Let’s at least make this more than the stupid pet tricks the other two pull.” Blake tells them.

 

“Brian don’t let them do this, I can’t help Michael and Lindsay if they start pulling pranks too.” I beg Brian.

 

“I could stop them, but so far you haven’t done anything but run after us. If it means we see less of you then I’m all for it.” Brian tells me.

 

“I need Cosmos if we are going to plan. Alex, hopefully your hand won’t fall off, but Baby is leaving and calling our favorite princess.” Emmett tells me pulling Justin with him.

 

“I thought I was your favorite princess?” I hear Justin out in the hall.

 

“You are, but Honey we need to give Daphne a title if we want her to help us.” Emmett tells him.

 

“So now you have our men plotting too, great work Doc.” Ted tells me as he runs after them.

 

“At least we know it would work.” Drew tells Ted following them out.

 

“Aren’t you going to tell me anything?” I look at Brian, who’s leaning against the wall.

 

“What’s to say? You’re the one who gets tied up, locked up, and subdued. It would have been hot if I thought it up… you know what Doc, I think I need to get to Justin.” He tells me as he runs out the door.

 

THREE DAYS LATER IN ALEX’S OFFICE

 

“I’m proud of you two, you’ve kept out of trouble for the last three days.” I tell them.

 

“I still think that Ma shouldn’t be able to ground me.” Michael tells us.

 

“I couldn’t believe it when my mother told me that if I step one foot out the front door, she was going to get me some real treatment.” Lindsay complains.

 

“Wait, your parents haven’t let you out of the house?” I ask because I just thought they were trying to stay out of trouble.

 

“I had to sit on the couch where Ma and Carl could see me. They even lock me in my room at night and when they aren’t home. And they added bars to my window.” Michael tells Lindsay.

 

“My mother had alarms put on all the windows and doors. This is the first time I’ve been out of the house. She said she wasn’t going to allow us to embarrass her any more.” Lindsay tells us.

 

“Maybe you two could see that having your parents controlling two adults is rather extreme.” I tell them.

 

“Justin probably wonders why he hasn’t seen me.” Michael tells Lindsay.

 

“I wanted to call him but my mother took my phone.” Lindsay tells Michael.

 

“Wow your mom’s tough, at least I could leave messages at the diner for Justin. I'm trying to get Ma to let me work there.” He tells her.

 

“We should talk her into letting us both work there.” Lindsay tells us, excited.

 

“Neither of you can be there when Justin is, Carl added that condition to Brian’s restraining order.” I tell them, not that they listen to anything I’m saying.

 

“I wonder if we could keep Brian from coming to the diner?” Lindsay asks Michael.

 

“Does the restraining order mean Brian has to stay away from us too?” Michael asks me.

 

“Michael that doesn’t matter, you can’t go near Justin either.” I tell him.

 

“We should go and see if Ma will let us work there.” Michael tells her.

 

“You will not leave this office until we talk about a way to get you both to see that this is getting you nowhere.” I tell them.

 

“I just don’t want to wear the apron. We should tell your mother that we want to give the place more class.” Lindsay tells Michael.

 

My phone buzzes and I figure at least the person on the phone would listen to me.

 

“Hey Doc, how’s it hangin?” Justin asks me.

 

“Is there a reason you're calling in the middle of my session with Michael and Lindsay?” I ask him.

 

“I just thought you should lock the window.” He tells me.

 

“Justin? Hello, are you still there?” I realize he hung up.

 

“Did he want to talk to us?” Michael asks eagerly.

 

“You should have told him we want him here.” Lindsay tells me.

 

I walk to the window and see Justin, Emmett, Blake, and a girl waving at me. I lock the window and see a note. Opening it I read...

 

“So we decided that you should be able to keep them in their seats. Enjoy!”

 

“Is that for me?” Michael asks me and waves at Justin, smiling.

 

“He’s looking at me, not you Michael.” Lindsay tells him.

 

“I’ll prove to you it’s me.” Michael tells her and tries to stand up.

 

“How did you get the chair to get up with you.” Lindsay asks.

 

“Doc the chair is stuck to my pants.” Michael whines.

 

“Why is my chair stuck to my clothes?” Lindsay asks us.

 

I walk over and see they are both glued down. Shaking my head, I walk to the window and open it.

 

“This is the best you could do?” I ask them.

 

“We were rushed for time and Brian’s glue doesn’t shine so we figured it would keep them where they would listen to you.” Justin tells me.

 

“Move Doc.” Michael shoves me away while bent over with the chair still stuck to him.

 

“Michael let me talk to him, he should be with me.” Lindsay tells Michael while trying to shove him out of the way while stuck in the same position.

 

“JUSTIN YOU’RE THE ONE I WANT.” Michael yells at him.

 

“OOH, OOH, OOH, HONEY.” Justin and his gang sing back to Michael.

 

“I don’t get it.” Michael tells us.

 

“JUSTIN, YOU’RE MY MUSE.” Lindsay yells out the window.

 

That stopped Justin’s gang for less than a second. Daphne starts singing to Justin.

 

“Cause all of me, loves all of you, love your curves and all your edges.” She sings while feeling Justin up.

 

“Don’t touch him, he belongs to me.” Michael yells.

 

“Oh can’t you see, you belong to me, how my poor heart aches.” Emmett and Blake belt out.

 

“Why do they keep singing?” Michael asks us.

 

“Go home, boys.” I yell at them.

 

“Hey Doc, I was going to let you figure it out, but you might need someone to unseal your door. So you might want to call someone. Brian said to send him the bill.” Justin tells me as they walk away.

 

Closing the window, I turn and walk to the door and try to open it. It's stuck, so I turn to make a call and I see Lindsay and Michael with their faces plastered to the window watching Justin leave. I sit down and start laughing at the chairs stuck to their asses. Picking up the phone, I dial the one person who could possibly control his husband.

 

“Brian is there anyway for you to get him under control?” I ask him.

 

“I tied him up, but then he blew me until I couldn’t think, so I decided if he needs Michael and Lindsay to inspire him, have at it.” Brian tells me.

 

“They just used the glue. Not very original.” I tell him.

 

“That was just what they did IN your office.” Brian says and then he hangs up.

 

What…?

 

 

 

 

 

ALEX 

 

The phrase ‘be very afraid’ came to mind while I was waiting for the door to be unsealed. Michael and Lindsay were still stuck to their chairs and I fear that I they are going to have to undress to get out of the chairs. I talked to my receptionist and she said everything was normal in the waiting room, and I even had her check my car. Hopefully Brian was kidding about there being more waiting on us.

 

“Alex, can't you see that they are corrupting Justin? He wouldn't do something like this, he’s too sweet.” Michael tells me. 

 

“I bet Emmett and Daphne put him up to this.” Lindsay tells me. 

 

“So now you're talking to me instead of ignoring me?” I ask them.  

 

“We just thought that maybe you could see the kind of influence Brian and the others have on him. This isn’t Justin.” Michael tells me. 

 

“You both realize Justin was in on it, don't you?” I ask them. 

 

“I say we get back at Blake, Emmett, and Daphne for making Justin do this.” Michael tells Lindsay. 

 

“We could stage protest outside Kinnetik. Make signs and everything, get people to rally around us. I mean, there are a lot of guys who would love to make Brian hear what an asshole he was to men, that way Justin sees the kind of man he is.” Lindsay tells Michael.  

 

I lost them again, part of me hopes whatever Justin and his gang think of derails these two. I'm just scared they're after me too.

 

My receptionist buzzes me to tell me that there was a delivery for Michael and Lindsay, with a note that said “wear me”. I can't wait to see what they sent for these two. The door finally is removed and I'm handed two large wrapped boxes with Michael and Lindsay’s names on them.

 

My phone rings and I pick up to find out what is going to happen next.

 

“Alex, we talked to Brian about the glue and he said they can hopefully just take off their clothes to get out of the chairs, unless it got on their skin, then you might have to get goo gone to pry them loose. I put some in their boxes, it kind of stinks and we got a little high smelling it, but it works. I glued some fabric on to wood to make sure, but the fabric got ruined. So we sent them something to wear, since your chairs won't let go of their clothes.” Emmett tells me. 

 

“Tell Brian he's buying the chairs.” I tell him. 

 

“Don’t worry he planned to.” Emmett tells me. 

 

“Please tell me this is all you guys planned to do?” I ask him. 

 

Emmett snorts and hangs up. 

 

“I was informed that the only way to get you out of the chairs was to undress.” I tell them. 

 

“In front of each other?” Michael asks chewing on his lip.

 

“You could turn your chairs.” I suggest.

 

“What are we supposed to wear?” Lindsay asks me. 

 

“I think it's in the boxes.” I tell her and hand it to them.

 

“Doc, you're going to have to undo the handcuffs.” Michael tells me.  

 

“Unless you want to help us out of our clothes.” Lindsay smirks.

 

“I'm going to have the door put back to give you privacy, but as soon as you're dressed let me know. The handcuffs have to go back on. Your escorts won't  take you home without the handcuffs.” I tell them. 

 

I unlock them and leave the room. I ask the maintenance man to put the door up while they change. I'm really starting to believe Brian was just messing with my head. Sitting down between the patients left in the waiting room, I try to think of what could possibly be done to Lindsay and Michael.

 

“Here, we thought you’d like some popcorn.” Emmett tells me putting his magazine down.

 

“I got some sodas.” Daphne tells me putting her magazine down.

 

“Why are you two here?” I ask them.

 

“We wanted to see if it works or not.” Emmett tells me.

 

“To see if what works?” I started to get up.

 

“The outfits.” Daphne tells me smiling.

 

I get up and run to the door. “Lindsay, Michael, are you dressed?” I ask through the door.

 

“I wonder if they used the window?” Daphne asks Emmett.

 

“If they’re smart they will.” Emmett tells her.

 

“Shit, I forgot the windows. Open the door, they have to go home with their escorts.” I tell the maintenance man.

 

I go in the office and see the window open and Michael and Lindsay running down the street.

 

“You bought them costumes?” I ask them.

 

“We were kind of hoping they would pull on the strings that said ‘pull  me’.” Daphne tells me.

 

“Maybe we didn’t put them where they could see them.” Emmett tells me as I try to figure out what the outfits were supposed to be. 

 

“Why does it have stars all over it and a lot of material.” I ask them, I see Michael grab the string hanging off Lindsay’s outfit and his and pull.

 

“Hopefully it works, we didn’t test them. OH SHIT! It works.” Emmett laughs with Daphne.

 

I was afraid to look, but I had to. I see Justin and Brian with all the other guys walk over to what now looks like two inflated bouncing balls. Justin starts rolling Lindsay towards my office and Ted and Brian take turns kicking Michael towards my office. Drew moved Justin out of the way and picks Lindsay up and starts bouncing her up and down the street to me. 

 

“We made it so they’re heads were protected but they could use their feet to keep bouncing.” Daphne tells me as she snacks on popcorn.

 

“And the purpose of this?” I ask them.

 

“We just wanted to see if it would work. Mel wanted something fun for Gus’s birthday party next weekend. I think kids would love to bounce like balls.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Well they’re back. Guess we should go, and plan something for tomorrow.” Emmett tells me as he Daphne walk out of the office.

 

“Wait, how do we get the balls to deflate?” I ask them.

 

“Um, we need to figure that part out. We used heavy latex so the balls wouldn’t pop accidentally, maybe just pop them?” Daphne tells me.

 

“I think we should invite everyone outside and play kickball with them.” Emmett tells Daphne.

 

“We could take them to the park and let kids play with them.” Daphne suggests.

 

“No, I can’t let you guys do that.” I tell them.

 

“Then you better run outside and stop Justin and Blake from bouncing Michael into the road.” Emmett tells me.

 

I look to see Justin and Blake heading towards the road with Michael. Brian and Drew are sitting with Lindsay between them rolling her back and forth. I run out to Brian.

 

“Brian, tell Justin to bring Michael back.” I tell him.

 

“The guy guaranteed that the only way to pop them is to use a sharp object, I wanted to see if we could bounce them really high.” Brian tells me.

 

“Brian, let me out of here.” Lindsay yells.

 

Brian’s answer was to roll her to Emmett. Daphne and Emmett try to lift her to bounce her up and down.

 

“Justin, no fireworks, I’m not sure we won’t set them on fire.” Brian yells.

 

I see Justin glueing fireworks around Michael’s ball. “I was going to see if it would propel him.” Justin yells back.

 

“The glue’s flammable, so bad idea.” He tells Justin.

 

“But now they’re stuck to him.” Justin tells him.

 

“I’ll buy you more.” He tells Justin.

 

“BOUNCE MY PATIENTS BACK AND GO HOME.” I yell at them.

 

“But we wanted to…” Emmett stops talking when I glare at him. “Fine.” He says, sticking out his tongue.

 

“Can’t we at least…” Justin gets interrupted by Brian pulling the lighter out of his hand.

 

“It would have been good.” Justin tells Brian pouting.

 

“I don’t have a problem with maiming them, but do not set them on fire, Carl won’t be thrilled.” Brain tells Justin.

 

“Well we could always just…” Justin looks at me and realizes it’s better to just stop.

 

“Push them to the Doc.” Ted tells them. 

 

Blake and Justin roll Michael towards me and I can hear Michael whining up a storm.

 

“Justin just take me with you and we can do whatever you want.” Michael begs.

 

“I want to roll you into the cars.” Justin mutters.

 

“It would be funny to see if the cars could catapult them.” Blake tells Justin.

 

“Do you see what we’ve been telling you? These assholes are turning Justin against us.” Lindsay yells.

 

“Just you wait, Lindsay and I are going to make you all sorry. Then Justin will see that you guys are losers.” Michael yells.

 

“Justin, light him up.” Brian tells him and throws him the lighter.

 

I try to reach Justin in time but he managed to light the fuse. I watch as the fireworks turn Michael’s ball around and around. The guys watch as Michael hits a tree and starts heading towards the parking lot. Justin and Blake running behind it laughing as Michael spins.

 

“See, it didn’t set him on fire.” Justin yells with glee.

 

“Want to say anything Lindsay?” Brian asks her.

 

“JUSTIN IS MINE.” She screams.

 

“Drew, kick her like the winning goal.” Emmett yells as they chase after Michael.

 

“Drew, please just be happy they got to do this much.” I tell him as Ted and Brian hold me back.

 

Drew smiles and backs up, then runs and kicks Lindsay into the air. She bounces twice then must have hit something because we hear the air coming out. 

 

“Damn, I was hoping that wouldn’t happen. Guys time to go.” Ted yells.

 

“Justin, get Blake to help you kick him back.” Drew yells.

 

“Well Doc, it was fun, but we have plans to make.” Brian tells me as they run to the rest of the guys and get in their cars and peel out.

 

I stood with Michael rolling towards me and Lindsay deflating. How am I going to stop this train wreck?

 

 

ALEX 

 

I honestly thought after being kicked around, the two of them would get that nothing is what they want to believe, but even I'm questioning the logic in continuing therapy after today's session.  I brought them both inside to check if they were okay after being tossed around.

 

“I want to apologize for not getting you two out sooner.” I tell them. 

 

“Lindsay, can you now see that Justin wants me?” Michael tells her. 

 

“No he doesn't.” She tells him. 

 

“He was playing with me, not you.” He tells her. 

 

“He cares too much about me to do what he did to you.” She tells him.

 

“He was smiling at me the whole time. He left you with Brian.”

Michael tells her. 

 

“Justin didn’t care if he set you on fire, that should tell you something.” Lindsay argues.

 

“THEY TURNED YOU BOTH INTO BOUNCING BALLS, DOESN’T THAT TELL YOU TWO ANYTHING?” I yell exasperated. 

 

“Doc maybe you should sit down, you have this vein throbbing on your head.” Michael tells me. 

 

“Do you want to know why Michael?” I ask him. 

 

“Too much caffeine?” Michael asks me. 

 

“No, it’s too much listening to you two tell me that Justin thinks anything but that you two are delusional.” I tell him.

 

I ended the session because I was losing it with them. I decided that it was time to call in the big guns. Justin and his gang of merry makers might not listen to me, but I know who they will listen to.

 

JUSTIN

 

“Why are Mom and Deb here?” I whisper to Emmett.

 

“I don’t know, but I think Alex is involved.” Emmett whispers back.

 

“I think he thinks he can scare us with them.” Blake tells me.

 

“I feel like we’re five again.” Ted whispers to Drew.

 

“Why did you guys answer your phones? We were in the middle of the newest plan.” Brian tells us.  

 

“I was hoping that they would be able to get away the other day. Alex is kind of a downer.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Okay, now for the reason we are here.” Alex tells us.

 

“We came because…” Emmett stops at Alex glaring at him.

 

“I have asked your mothers and Carl to speak to you about what you did. My patients are already in enough trouble without you all seeking to prank us.” He tells us. 

 

“We weren’t after you.” I mumble.

 

“Why not tell your mother and Deb what you did.” He tells me. 

 

“We turned them into bouncing balls.” Emmett bravely tells them.

 

“We made sure they didn’t get hurt, their heads were protected.” I defend us.

 

“Justin you put fireworks around Michael and set him off.” Alex reminds me.

 

“It's not like it set Michael on fire.” Ted tells them, defending Justin.

 

“Doc, I was just kidding when I said the glue was flammable.” Brian tells him smiling.

 

“No he wasn't.” I whisper to Emmett.   

 

“You also glued my door shut and Michael and Lindsay to chairs. Then taunted them outside my office. I can't help them if you continue to play these games.” He tells us. 

 

“Alex, why am I here?” My mom asks him.

 

“I was hoping that you, Carl, and Deb could talk some sense into them.” Alex tells her.

 

“You want me to tell my married, adult son, what?” I love when Mom uses her WASP voice.

 

“That Michael and Lindsay won't get better if these guys keep plotting.” He tells her. 

 

“We keep telling Alex it's a lost cause.” Blake tells her.

 

“Boys, I know Michael and Lindsay have been a pain in the ass, but couldn't you help Alex instead of making it worse?” Mom tells us, rolling her eyes at Alex.

 

“Jen, I know they have been bothering you, but I got them to agree to stop calling you.” Alex tells her.

 

“Mother Taylor is getting bothered too?” Brian  asks him. 

 

“Mostly Lindsay calling to tell me Justin is in danger by being with you. To which I explained was better than her.” Mom tells him. 

 

“So Alex, if you're expecting me to stop them, you bet on the wrong mother.” She tells Alex. 

 

“Deb, if Jen won't help maybe as Michael’s mother you could talk to them.” Alex asks Deb.

 

“I would, but it seems that the only thing that's been accomplished is bars on my windows.” Deb tells him as we hear a thump upstairs.

 

“I just need to find the right therapy for them.” He tells her. 

 

“If being kicked around like a soccer ball didn't tell them anything what will?” Carl whispers to Emmett.

 

“That's what we think too.” I whisper to Carl.

 

“Just don’t do anything I have to arrest you for and I'm fine with it.” Carl whispers to me. 

 

We hear another thump and then glass break. How is he planning to get past the bars on the window?

 

“If swear to god if that boy broke his window, I'm going to beat his ass.” Deb tells us as she gets up to go check on Michael.

 

“Deb, I'll come with you. I still want to talk to all of you, so give me a minute. ” Alex tells us.

 

We all wait for him to get up the stairs. Carl walks over and opens the door to help us escape.

 

“Next time hang up if Alex tries to get you to talk.” Mom tells us as we file out the door.

 

We were almost to the car when we hear Michael screaming my name. I look up to see he has his head out the window stuck between the bars.

 

“He stuck?” Emmett asks us.

 

“Ma, I have to make him see, he should be with me. Ow Ma, I'm stuck, it hurts when you yank.” Michael whines.

 

“Michael, twist your head so we can get you in.” Alex tells him. 

 

“No, I want to…” Michael stops when he’s pulled back into the house.

 

We hear Deb screaming Michael's name and Alex telling him to open the door. 

 

“Let's go before Michael gets out here.” Emmett giggles at Michael escaping.

 

ALEX

 

Carl, Deb and I have been searching for Michael for days and he's managed to stay hidden. Apparently after he knocked us over and locked us in his bedroom, he ran down Carl and out the back door. I found out from Nancy Peterson that he helped Lindsay escape too. I just can't figure out how they manage it. 

 

I came to Woody’s to get a drink because I've never had patients this… fuck, this crazy. I look over at Justin teasing Brian while he shoots pool and wonder why are they obsessed with him. I don’t mean that he isn’t good looking, but he plays off the innocence that people see. Hell, even I thought he was the good one in that relationship. I turn and look down at my drink again. I talk to a couple other doctors to see what they think I'm missing. I have to say, laughing at the antics of this group wasn't what I expected to get from them.

 

 “Still haven't found them?” Emmett asks as him and Brian sit at my table.

 

“Not yet.” I tell him. 

 

“You really need to.” Emmett tells me. 

 

“If you're willing to help maybe we could find them.” I tell him, eager to see if they will.

 

“Not really, it's just we wanted to try out our next thing.” Emmett snickers and gets up to leave.

 

“Brian, this is serious.” I tell him. 

 

“I just want to see if Daphne’s newest idea works, but until we find them we can't do it.” Brian tells me smiling.

 

“Isn’t this a bit childish, even for you?” I ask him. 

 

“I've been having nonstop monkey sex since this started, so game on.” He tells me and walks off.

 

“Could you at least tell me what I have to look forward to?” I ask resigned.

 

“I'll give you a clue.” He tells me. 

 

“Anything is better than waiting to see what your up to.” I beg. 

 

“Michael and Lindsay might think that we went on a cruise.” He tells me. 

 

“WHAT?” I yell.   

 

“Don’t worry Doc, the boat they stole from Lindsay’s parents should have run out of gas. We made sure it would make it out a hundred or so miles.” Brian tells me. 

 

MICHAEL (two days earlier) 

 

“Why did the engine stop?” I ask her. 

 

“I don’t know, I'm not a mechanic.” Lindsay snaps at me.

 

“But the yacht is getting away.” I tell her. 

 

“Then use the part of your DNA that could fix the boat.” She sneers at me.

 

“How do you even know they’re on Drew's yacht?” I ask her. 

 

“I pretended I was a reporter and asked Cynthia if they had plans this weekend. She told me Drew was taking them out on his boat.” She tells me.

 

“I never saw any of them on the yacht, we should have just stayed at the dock and waited. Now we're stuck out here until this thing starts back up.” I tell her. 

 

I look around and all I see is water, nothing but water. I swear the guys who told us the yacht was going this way, were high. I saw them laughing after we jumped on and took off.  

 

“I'm kind of hungry. I hope your parents at least keep food on this boat.” I tell her. 

 

“Instead of whining help me figure out why it stopped.” Lindsay tells me sneering.

 

“All I wanted was a chance to get Justin and show him we were supposed to be together, but no, I get stuck in the middle of the ocean with you.” I tell her. 

 

“Michael, we only went a few miles before the engine stopped, we'll eventually see someone.” She tells me. 

 

“I WANT TO EAT, SO FIGURE IT OUT.” I yell at her and go down to the small kitchen. 

 

I open the fridge and see coconut water, a lot of it but nothing else. Looking around there's a huge pile of bananas sitting on the table with a card.

 

“Lindsay, do your parents like bananas or something?” I ask as she comes in.

 

“I wouldn’t know, but that's a lot of bananas.” She looks at them and grabs the note. I look over her shoulder and read.

 

“Dearest Lindsay and Michael,

 

I hope you didn't chase Drew's crew too far, but we felt that you would interrupting the monkey sex I had planned for Justin this weekend. I didn’t want you to feel left out, so for the monkey in all of us, I bought you enough bananas to hold you over until we told Alex where to find you.

 

ENJOY, 

 

Brian

 

PS Blake came up with making sure you had something to drink. In case you haven't figured it out you're out of gas.”

 

ALEX

 

Carl managed to get out of them where Michael and Lindsay were. Drew let us take his boat to find them. We pulled up to Lindsay and Michael naked sitting on buckets and screaming at each other.

 

“Could you two put some clothes on?” Carl asks them.

 

“We don't have any.” Michael whines.

 

“Why not?” I ask him. 

 

“You tell him.” Michael tells Lindsay. 

 

“I was raised to not talk about things like that.” She tells him. 

 

“Will you two get up and I'll hand you towels to wear,” Carl tells them.     

“We're afraid to.” Michael whispers.

 

“Why, nothing is going to hurt you.” I hope they weren’t scared by this.

 

“It's not that.” Michael tells me. 

 

“Than what?” Carl asks.

 

“We've been…” Lindsay turns red.

 

“Look, I'd like to get home so can one of you tell me what's going on.” Carl snaps at them.

 

“We've been shitting our brains out. Why do you think we're sitting on these buckets.” Michael whines.

 

I look to see coconut water containers littered all over. The wind changes direction and Carl and I have to hold our shirts over our noses. Dear God, I promise never to piss off Brian Fucking Kinney.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ALEX 

 

“You know this is kidnapping?” Justin tells me from the back of the van.

 

“I think Michael and Lindsay got a new member.” Emmett tells him. 

 

“No, cause Alex managed to actually execute the plan.” Blake tells him.

 

“Was what we did that bad?” Daphne asks me.

 

“We left them alone for two whole weeks. That should count for something.” Emmett tells them. 

 

“Only because you stranded them at sea and they spent a week recovering from dehydration.” I mumble as I drive.

 

“I was surprised they drank all twelve cases of coconut water.” Blake giggles.

 

“I swear they should have watched “Castaway” then they would have thought twice about that.” Justin tells him. 

 

“Well if they had bothered to look in the cabinets instead of fighting about the bananas, they would have found the hot cocoa and water we put there.” Emmett tells him. 

 

“Which you laced with ex lax.” I tell him. 

 

“So, did it really smell as bad as the news said?” Daphne snickers.

 

“You just had to call the press.” I tell her. 

 

“Hey, they wanted shots of Drew’s yacht. I didn’t tell them Drew was home, just that Emmett and Drew were planning on an ocean orgy.” Daphne tells me. 

 

“Too bad you got them off the buckets before the news guy got there.” Blake glares like it's my fault.

 

“So where you taking us?” Emmett asks me. 

 

“You'll find out after I stash you guys away.” I tell him. 

 

“Did you really have to handcuff us?” Blake asks me. 

 

“I'm just surprised he managed it.” Justin tells him looking at his hand.

 

“I just jumped in because I saw Baby in the van.” Emmett tells us. 

 

“So want to tell us why we’re being kidnapped?” Daphne asks me.

 

“I've tried reasoning with all of you, but that would take you being able to listen for more than ten seconds. In the last week I've had to call 911 to get Michael and Lindsay out of each prank you pulled, I decided to get even.” I tell them.

 

“It's not our fault they fell in the gorilla cage. They thought they saw Justin in there. Although the guy did look like him from behind. My question is, why they thought Justin was in the exhibit?” Daphne asks me.

 

“Could have been that you let them follow Justin to the zoo. Then according to them, they saw him enter the room next to the cage.” I tell her. 

 

“I was just talking to the guy Brian helped get a degree. I can't help we look alike.” Justin says innocently, like I don't know better.

 

“He just happened to be wearing the outfit you were?” I ask him. 

 

“It was cargos and a T shirt.” Emmett tells me. 

 

“They weren’t hurt, just got some gorilla shit in the face. See even the gorillas can spot crazy.” Daphne tells us. 

 

“Then the next day I'm having to get FedEx to stop them from being shipped to China.” I tell them. 

 

“We didn’t put them in the crate.” Emmett tells me smiling.

 

“I never said I was going to China, just that I thought about it.” Justin tells me. 

 

“Why they believed they would get there in a crate definitely makes us all wonder.” Blake tells me. 

 

“Because apparently someone told everyone at Woody’s that at least FedEx would deliver right to the door.” I tell him. 

 

“All I said was that if I wanted to surprise someone I'd have FedEx deliver me, because they don't lose packages.” Emmett tells us. 

 

“They’re the ones who took it from there.” Justin tells me. 

 

“The next day was on all of you.” I tell them.

 

“Come on, that was funny.” Emmett snickers. 

 

“She said she wanted to be my muse.” Justin tells me. 

 

“Michael begged everyone to let him show Justin he could be his muse.” Daphne tells me. 

 

“We didn’t use Brian’s glue, that should count.” Blake tells me. 

 

“You plastered them to a billboard in the middle of Pittsburgh.” I grumble. 

 

“It wasn’t that bad, they got down.” Emmett tells me. 

 

“After spending the night covered in bird seed and honey and you let a hundred pigeons loose.” I glare at them.   

 

“I’m going to defend that one, they let me do it.” Justin tells me.

 

“You offered to let them spend time with you, of course the idi…” I stop before I say what was about to come out of my mouth.

 

“I made sure to cover their heads and hands.” Blake tells me.

 

“With monkey masks and you glued the hair on their hands.” I tell Mr Helpful.

 

“So, is this like a camping trip?” Daphne asks as we enter the woods.

 

“No, this is me keeping you guys out of my patients therapy after yesterday.” I tell them.

 

“Come on, you have to gives us points for that one. Daphne worked hard on the hamster ball.” Emmett tells me looking around the area.

 

“They ran for miles, we helped keep them fit.” Blake tells me.

 

“I think the kids will love that one at Gus’s birthday party.” Daphne tells him.

 

“If we didn’t have to use a blowtorch to get the thing open it would have been great.” I tell them sarcastically.

 

“Like it’s our fault they ended up in the Pride Parade.” Justin snickers.

 

“We made sure they were dressed.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Michael actually has a decent ass in hot pants, and the bra carried the man boobs well.” Daphne tells me wrinkling her nose in disgust. 

 

“I could have gone without seeing Lindsay in granny panties, but well, we worked with what we had.” Blake tells me.

 

“Don’t worry your heads about anything because by the time you get back to Pittsburgh, I will hopefully have them believing you are the worst thing they could ever want.” I tell Justin as I park in front of the cabin.

 

“Now that’s just mean. I might need to warn you that Brian is going to be pissed when he finds out we aren’t going to have sex tonight.” Justin tells me.

 

“He doesn’t know you’re gone, and that I took you, so I’m not really that worried.” I tell him.

 

“Did I mention that I texted him on the way?” Justin smirks at me.

 

“I took your phone and you’ve been handcuffed.” I smirk back.

 

“Like I couldn’t get out of these, I just left them on so you would keep driving. It was a lovely drive.” He tells me and opens the van door, leaving the handcuffs behind.

 

“Did we forget to mention that Justin and I practiced getting out of handcuffs one night.” Emmett tells me and follows Justin out throwing his cuffs in my lap.

 

“Doc, you really need to work on your plans better.” Blake and Daphne get out and walk to Justin and Emmett.

 

“My plan was to strand you here and get you next week. So have fun.” I tell them and turn to drive off. I laugh because I have all their phones in the box next to me. 

 

I look back to see them laughing about something and my smiles starts to fade. Why do I feel like I’ve just been played by them. Justin’s phone rings and I dread answering this.

 

“So you took Justin and the gang to Vermont?” Brian growls.

 

“I don’t know what your talking about.” I feign innocence.

 

“You do understand that you declared war with them, don’t you?” Brian asks me.

 

“Not you?” I ask hoping he doesn’t kill me.

 

“I would, but a weekend in Vermont sounds good.” Brian tells me.

 

“You expected me to answer Justin’s phone didn’t you?” I ask him.

 

“Since he stole yours, then yes.” He tells me. 

 

I pull over and put down Justin’s phone and search my pockets for mine. That little shit stole my phone. 

 

“Brian, Justin needs to give me my phone back. My patients call that number.” I tell him.

 

“Then they are going to learn what real therapy is.” Brian laughs and hangs up.

 

EMMETT

 

“It’s kind of peaceful here. We need to do something about that.” Daphne tells Justin.

 

“Brian said he was on his way.” Justin looks at Alex’s phone.

 

“Tell him to bring a straight friend.” Daphne tells Justin.

 

“Is this Alex’s cabin or is he renting it?” Blake asks us.

 

“Hold on I’ll find out.” Justin dials and puts it on speaker phone.

 

“Justin, I need you to let me have my phone.” Alex tells him.

 

“We wanted to know if you own this cabin or are you renting it?” Justin asks him.

 

“Look, I own it and I think you could just relax for the weekend. I just need my phone.” He tells Justin.

 

“You should have thought of that before you kidnapped me.” Justin tells him.

 

“Brian said he wanted to spend the weekend, so in a way I did you a favor.” He tells him.

 

“Well don’t worry because we decided to do you one too.” I tell him.

 

“You’ll stay and let me work with Michael and Lindsay.” He tells me.

 

“Now Doc, where would be the fun in that?” Daphne tells him.

 

“Then what?” He asks us.

 

“I’d drive back to Pittsburgh before Lindsay and Michael escape.” She tells him.

 

“How could they escape jail?” He asks us.

 

“Because Brian is bailing them out and told them you kidnapped Justin.” Emmett tells him.

 

“Why would Brian do that?” I ask them.

 

“We were out of ideas until we let you kidnap us. I figured by the time we get back in town we would have a new idea.” Justin tells me.

 

“I hope you have good insurance, because they tend to think of stupid ways to do things. I mean they think you took me from them. I doubt they are going to just toilet paper your yard.” Justin tells me and hangs up.

 

All I wanted was a weekend free of them.     

TEXTING THE INSANITY

 

“So, Brian told us that we have to redecorate on a budget, because you stranded us out here and we let you. I told you he would be mad about missing the sex.”

 

“Emmett wanted to know if you're overly attached to the lamp? It kind of got knocked over when we had a water balloon fight in the house.”

 

“Did you know that raccoons can really hiss when cornered. Don’t worry I have enough in the budget to repair the scratches.”

 

“Did you know that your patients tend to call a lot? I thought therapy was supposed stop codependency.”

 

“Hey, some guy named Ned called and said he was going to jump, but we told him that two stories would only break your leg and who needs that.”

 

“We found the wine in the basement, hope you didn’t like the one with cobwebs all over it.”

 

“Ned decided not to jump, I promised him a VIP pass to Babylon. I really should stop being a drug abuse counselor and just offer to do your job.”

 

“Justin wants cats but Brian said no, so we are going to adopt them and you can have them.”

 

“Sorry we didn’t know it would explode.” 

 

“Hey we talked to some chick named Kelly, she said she’s had problems with depression. Apparently she was really just bored so we told her to help think up something we haven’t done yet.”

 

“Why does a sex addict need curing? It doesn’t sound like such a bad thing.”

 

“Hey, can you give Todd and the dancers directions to this place, we wanted to see if we could have a Babylon night tonight.”

 

“Your mom called, she said that she would come and party with us! How could you put her in a retirement home?”

 

“Sorry about the hot tub, I promise the blue won’t stain.”

 

“Is there some reason you locked the door to your room? Don’t worry Daphne managed to get it open.”

 

“Hey, a guy called and said something about Michael and Lindsay putting a hole in your roof. Maybe you should drive faster.”

 

“Emmett wants to know if you like the color tangerine?”

 

“Never mind, it didn’t look as good when we painted the side of your house.”

 

“Brian loves me, you want to know why? Fireworks.”

 

“Did you like the trees around the house? If so we’ll replace them.”

 

“Todd said that sex addiction is ‘the bomb’. He convinced your patient that you don’t need therapy, just a backroom, or at least that’s what we are calling your bedroom.”

 

“We got hungry so I ordered for the forty people who came. The restaurant in the town said you have an account and authorized us to use it.”

 

“Brian told me to tell you that Carl had the windows to your house boarded up. Michael tried to superhero the window.”

 

“Monkeys do like bananas. I have my own Lindsay and Michael, but cuter.”

 

“Monkeys are a bit unsanitary, sorry about your couch.” 

 

“Brian said that you get to keep my babies, Lindsay was trying to hump his leg and Michael keeps playing with himself.”

 

“Did you know that pot bellied pigs and monkeys don’t like each other?”

 

“Hey, we had to leave your cabin. Apparently monkeys know how to turn on the stove.”

 

“We checked the house. Good news, three patients said they didn't need therapy anymore, they are just going to stick with Todd. Bad news, you need a new kitchen.”

 

“We are going on vacation, so we’ll see you later, your mom is going with her new hubby.”

 

ALEX

 

“Alex you have to work through your anger.” Blake tells me. 

 

“Are you seriously not talking to us?” Emmett asks me. 

 

“Drew and Brian promised to replace everything.” Justin tells me. 

 

“If you think about it, it's really your fault for leaving us in the woods.” Daphne tells me. 

 

“Hey we got you a new dad. Isn't that great?” Emmett asks me. 

 

“Lindsay and Michael seem to really like you.” Justin points at the monkeys perched on the table drinking beer.

 

“At least your cabin is still standing.” Emmett tells me. 

 

“And Todd said he could rebuild your house.  Who knew Todd owned a construction company?” Blake asks. 

 

“I figured he had to have something to do when Babylon was closed.” Brian tells him. 

 

“So see, it's not so bad.” Justin tells me smiling. 

 

“Your mom is having a great time being a cougar.” Daphne tells me. 

 

“You're really not going to talk to us?” Emmett asks.

 

“We honestly thought sex addiction was normal. I mean when could having sex be a bad thing?” Justin asks me. 

 

“You tell Justin anything different and I will make Michael and Lindsay seem sane.” Brian tells me. 

 

The monkeys stop chugging the beer and look at Brian.

 

“Not you.” He tells them.

 

“Have they found the other two?” Ted asks me.

 

“You can't really mean you aren’t going to continue your practice.” Emmett tells me. 

 

“Maybe you could start with patients that can be helped.” Daphne tells me. 

 

“Then again, I get after dealing with Michael and Lindsay why you'd want to swear off crazy people.” Justin tells me. “Not you, babies.” He tells the monkeys who cuddle up to him.

 

“We brought you kittens. Don’t you want Ren and Stimpy?” Emmett holds up the kittens.

 

“You could have Babe, Ted told me he'd get me another one.” Blake tells me cradling the pig.

 

“Hey I'd offer to take your step-dad off Mama Wilder, but he seems to really like older women.” Daphne tells me.   

 

“Will it help if we tell you we got you a present?” Justin asks me.

 

“Will it shut you up if I listen to you?” I ask them all.

 

They all nod smiling. Oh God what could they possibly have left to do?

 

“Okay where’s my present? Remember I am not taking any of the animals you came home with.” I tell them and Emmett holds the kittens next to his face and pouts.

 

“We just thought that since they tied you up all the time. We could deliver them to you the same way.” Justin tells me.

 

“Well almost.” Daphne tells me.

 

“They have to be in my office in the morning, please don’t make that impossible for them.” I beg.

 

I get up and follow them outside. Justin lets Michael climb up and perch on his shoulder. Lindsay tries to climb Brian but runs and jumps in Justin’s arms when Brian glares at her. 

 

“Brian, don’t be mean to our babies.” Justin tells him.

 

“Justin, I told you I’d let you have real ones if you get rid of the shark bait.” Brian tells him staring at the monkeys, while Justin glares at him.

 

“Where are we going?” I ask them.

 

“Well we aren’t going to strand you in the middle of nowhere, so it has to be close by.” Drew growls. I was surprised that Drew was more pissed about Vermont than Brian.

 

“Okay Todd, let them loose.” Justin yells at the top of Babylon.

 

“I look up to see Lindsay and Michael tied up and falling. They get ten feet from the ground and go back up and then down again. I look to see they are attached to giant YoYo’s.

 

“It works.” Daphne says excited.

 

“Hey Daphne, a bunch of guys want to do this, can we just turn them into the ball of string?” Todd yells down.

 

“I want to do it too.” Justin tells Brian and runs into the building.

 

“Baby wait for me.” Emmett chases behind them.

 

“Blake, we need to think of something that doesn’t sound like fun to do ourselves.” She tells him and grabs Blake to go with her.

 

“Drunk enough I’d do it.” Brian watches as they haul a giggling Michael and Lindsay up.

 

“What are they talking about ball of string?” I ask him.

 

“Oh, Daphne wanted to get in the book of records so they been creating a massive ball of string.” Brian tells me and walks away.

 

“Drew what does that have to do with Lindsay and Michael.” I ask him.

 

“They are the center.” Drew tells me.

 

I watch as a ten foot ball of string goes rolling down the road. The babylon dancers are running behind it rolling it. I look up to see Justin and Emmett jumping off the roof giggling as they go up and down and decide tomorrow’s another day but how often do you get to be a human YoYo.

 

ALEX

 

I spent the morning getting ready for Michael and Lindsay to appear. Last night was fun, Justin had to be dragged off from the YoYo. I have to admit that Daphne comes up with some interesting things. I figured that we could have a better session, since I overheard Daphne telling Blake that they were going to work on other fun things to do at Babylon.

 

When Carl walked in with Lindsay and Michael, he told me that he and Deb were going out of town so Michael would be staying with Lindsay’s family. I had to wonder if that was a good idea. Michael was smiling and Lindsay seemed resigned to be here.

 

“We are going to talk about ways to use your time better.” I tell them.

 

“Ma told me I had to apologize for destroying your house, but Lindsay is the one who threw the torch on your magazine .” Michael tells me.

 

“Why would you bring a torch anyway?” I ask him.

 

“I wanted to pretend we were invading your lair.” Michael tells me like I should understand. 

 

“I kept telling him that we could just turn on a light. I didn't pay attention to where I threw it.” She tells me instead of apologizing. 

 

“Hey, on the bright side, Ma is letting us work at the diner when Justin there.” Michael tells me. 

 

“You can't be around Justin.” I need to talk to Deb about this.

 

“I think Justin wanted it.” Michael tells me. 

 

“See, he must be realizing he wants us.” Lindsay tells me. 

 

“Have you two even realized that these pranks aren’t showing you anything but how little Justin wants you?” I ask them.

 

“Hey, last night was fun, too bad Brian is charging to do it now.” Michael complains.

 

“They turned you into a ball of string and let people roll you down the road.” I can't believe they don't see it.

 

“That was Daphne trying to keep her hag position.” Lindsay tells me. 

 

I put my hands over my face, these two can turn everything into Justin being innocent. I feel something grab my hands as see one of the monkeys, I notice Justin got them name tags.

 

“You got a monkey?” Michael asks me. 

 

“They're filthy animals.” Lindsey tells us. 

 

The monkey looks at Lindsay wrinkling her nose at it. I'm trying to figure out how it got here. My office door is cracked open and I see the other monkey climbing up the back of Lindsay’s chair. My phone rings and I already know something is up. 

 

“You should call animal control and have them get these rodents.” Lindsay tells me. 

 

“I think they’re cute.” Michael tells her. 

 

“There probably full of diseases.” She sneers at the one on my desk.

 

The monkey climbs on me and puts her arms around my neck. I can feel her shaking because of Lindsay.

 

“Lindsay, don't scare her.” I tell her. 

 

“She belongs in a zoo.” She sneers. 

 

The other monkey perches on the back of Lindsay’s chair and grabs her hair and yanks hard.

 

“Ow, what the hell.” Lindsay yells as she turns to look and gets a facefull of monkey spit.

 

“Michael, cut it out.” I tell him.     

 

“I'm not doing anything.” Michael tells me. 

 

“Michael get on my desk.” I tell him as he holds on to Lindsay’s hair and stays out of the way as she tries to swat him.

 

“Doc, why do I have to get on the desk?” He asks looking confused.

 

Lindsay tries again to hit the monkey and he jumps on her head and pulls out a few tufts of her hair.

 

“I'm going to kill it.” Lindsay tells me. 

 

“Bad Michael.” I tell him. 

 

“I'm not doing anything.” Michael tells me. 

 

The monkeys start screeching at Lindsay when she reaches up and grabs Michael, throwing him at Michael. My phone keeps ringing and Lindsay monkey picks it up and acts like she talking.

 

“Lindsay hand me the phone.” I tell the monkey, holding out my hand.

 

“I'm not touching anything in the thing’s hand.” Lindsay tells me. 

 

“Not you.” I tell Lindsay then turn to the one with my phone, “Lindsay give it to me.” I say gently to the monkey.

 

“They named that thing Lindsay?” Lindsay asks, horrified.    

 

“Wait, his name is Michael?” Michael asks smiling.

 

“Don't worry baby Daddy's coming.” Is the first thing I hear when I pick up the phone.

 

“You didn’t bring them here?” I ask Justin.

 

“Brian got mad and said that he was taking them to you to cure their codependency. They just wanted to sleep with us.” Justin tells me. 

 

“So this isn't a prank?” I ask him. 

 

“You really think I would do that to my babies?” Justin says sounding offended.

 

“Call Brian and tell him to come back, I don't think they like Lindsay.” I tell him as the monkeys start run after her.

 

“She better not hurt them.” Justin warns me.

 

“You better bring something to clean the shit they are throwing at her.” I tell him.

 

“We’ll pay for what they break.” Justin tells me. 

 

“Not objects Justin.” I tell him. 

 

“She must be scaring them.” Justin tells me. 

 

“Enough that they shit on her purse.” I tell him watching them do it.

 

“I'll be there in a sec.” Justin tells me and hangs up.

 

“Lindsay, stop running and go in the bathroom and clean up.” I tell her. 

 

“Babies, your daddy's coming.” I tell them praying they'll stop.

 

They look at me and climb down holding out their hands.

 

“Michael can you get something to clean them up with?” I ask him. 

 

“Me or him?” Michael asks me. 

 

“You, I need to clean them up.” I tell him. 

 

“Just wanted to clarify since Justin named him for me.” Michael tells me. 

 

“I don’t think it was a compliment Michael.” I tell him. 

 

“You better not have hurt my babies.” Justin tells Lindsay as he comes through the door.

 

I heard a scuffing and run out to see Lindsay trying to drag Justin out off my office. 

 

“Lindsay let him go.” I tell her. 

 

“No, I'm taking him with me.” She tells me as she drags a smirking Justin with her.

 

“Wait, if he goes anywhere it's with me.” Michael runs past me.

 

“I caught him so he's mine.” Lindsay argues as she rushes to the door with Justin, who winks at me.

 

“Brian and Drew have the exits blocked.” Justin tells them. 

 

“Lindsay they could have some trap, we should go up on the roof and down that way.” Michael yells as they run off with Justin.

 

“Michael this isn’t a comic.” I tell him, chasing after them.

 

“I wanted to help you get me away from Brian.” Justin tells them. 

 

“You finally realized you love me.” Michael says excitedly. 

 

“He knows that we'll have a great life, that's what he's saying.” Lindsay tells Michael. 

 

“Tell her it's me.” Michael argues.

 

“Who ever reaches the roof first gets to take me with them.” Justin tells them.   

 

“Justin, whatever is going on in that mind of yours, please stop.” I tell him. 

 

“I'm just offering a romantic surprise.” The little con tells me.

 

“I'm getting there first.” Michael yells as he runs up the stairs. 

 

“I'm going to be the one.” Lindsay yells as she tries to trip Michael. 

 

“Daddy's work is done, come on babies I have treats for you.” Justin holds out his arms. They run and I watch him skip towards the doors.

 

“If you're up for an adventure follow the moron twins.” Daphne tells me sticking her head in the outer door.

 

It occurs to me that Justin wanted them on the roof. Crap, what would be up there. I run up the stairs and through the open door in time to see Lindsay and Michael being carried away in a hot air balloon.

 

“Doc, I think I pulled the ribbon that was holding this on the roof.” Michael yells.

 

“You were just trying to impress Justin.” Lindsay argues. 

 

“Like you weren't by tripping me. Only I landed in here.” He argues.

 

“I was here first. Justin, I was here first don't let Michael lie to you.” She yells at him. 

 

I turn to see Justin untying a rope. I run to grab it as the balloon starts rising.

 

“Justin how are you getting on?” Michael yells at him.

 

“Sorry, but you should have waited for me.” He smiles as they get carried away.

 

“Okay genius how do we get them back?” I ask him. 

 

“Not really sure, ask Kelly, she thought we should send them to the moon, but Nasa didn’t agree.” He tells me whistling as he walks away.

 

“So Doc, think you could help me get my bed back?” Brian asks me looking at a disappearing Lindsay and Michael.

 

“Brian I'm more worried about getting Michael and Lindsay back.” I tell him. 

 

“They'll crash eventually, there's only so much gas in that thing.” Brian tells me.

 

“What if they get killed?” I ask him. 

 

“Daphne assured us they should reach water first, but who knows apparently it depends on the wind. Now about my bed.” He asks me. 

 

MICHAEL 

 

“I can’t believe Justin finally wants me and I'm stuck with you.” I tell her. 

 

“I can’t believe he named a filthy animal after me.” She sneers. 

 

“I wonder if he cuddles Michael dreaming it's me.” I smile at the idea. 

 

“How the hell could you think that's a compliment?” She asks me. 

 

“It is too.” I tell her. 

 

“Whatever.” She tells me and stands up to see where this is taking us.

 

“Maybe Justin is using this to meet us somewhere?” I say excitedly. 

 

“It didn't think of that, but maybe this was the plan so he and I could get away.” Lindsay mumbles. 

 

“Wouldn’t it be romantic to land and run into each other's arms.” I picture him standing there smiling at me.

 

“Only it's me he's waiting for.” She tells me. 

 

“He wants a man, not you.” I argue. 

 

“Then you aren't going to get him, I’ve seen you naked, and you whine like a girl.” She tells me. 

I get up and slap her like my Ma does. Lindsay hauls back and I move in time for her to miss and go over the side. I hear her screaming and see her upside down with her leg caught in the net.

 

“Michael help me.” She screams.

 

“Not until you admit he wants me.” I tell her. 

 

“NEVER.”She yells.

 

“Than I hope you like the view.” I smirk.

 

ALEX

 

I was calling to see if there was any way to rescue my patients. Daphne comes in and sits in front of my desk. 

 

“I'm busy trying to help Michael and Lindsay, so can this wait?” I ask her. 

 

“Yeah about that, I miscalculated a little.” She tells me. 

 

“How big of a miscalculation?” I ask her. 

 

“Well they should end up over water.” She tells me. 

 

“Where?” I ask because she didn't seemed disappointed by it.

 

“You know the water treatment plant?” She asks me. 

 

“The one in town?” I ask her. 

 

“More like West Virginia but yeah.” She tells me.

 

“What about it?” I ask her. 

 

“If they get there they'll be fine.” She tells me. 

 

“And if they don't?” I ask before she gets out the door.

 

“They better hope the trees catch them, but I wonder which is worse. Sewer or tree.” She giggles.

 

I sit at my desk until I hear ‘sewer won’.          

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ALEX 

 

After the air balloon, I sat with a colleague to decide if I was really just wasting Michael and Lindsay’s time. Nothing seems to get through to them. 

 

“Alex you can't help people who aren't willing to see there is a problem.” Diana tells me. 

 

“I just wanted to help them.” I tell her. 

 

“You're dealing with two people who think this Justin can do nothing wrong.” She tells me. 

 

“He could hang them over flowing lava and they'd think it was him either showing them love or wanting to take his art to the next level.” I tell her. 

 

“They both think he wants them?” She asks me.

 

“Lindsay just wants to be with him as he grows as an artist. Michael unfortunately fell in love with Justin. I talked to Justin and he assured me that he wouldn’t have returned their feelings.” I tell her.

 

“What caused all the mischief?” She asks me.  

 

“After Lindsay and Michael attacked me, it’s like they all thought it would be fun. I hate to admit it but most of it has been. I just think the latest one went too far. Justin told them what they wanted to hear.” I tell her.

 

“That he wanted what they did?” She asks me.

 

“To anyone else it would have sounded like he was being sarcastic, but they saw it as him admitting he wanted them.” I tell her.

 

“What did your patients say to all this?” She asks me.

 

“Lindsay was upset about the monkeys and Michael was mad that Justin wasn’t waiting for them.” I tell her.

 

“Did you say monkeys?” She asks me.

 

“Yeah Lindsay and Michael.” I tell her.

 

“What do Lindsay and Michael have to do with it?” She asks me.

 

“The monkeys are named Lindsay and Michael.” I tell her.

 

“Alex, maybe it would be better if I took over for you.” She tells me.

 

I sit there and pretend to think about it. I want her to think I’m struggling with this, because like Emmett suggested, if you want someone to do something you have to make them think they could do it better.

 

“What do you think would help them?” I ask her.

 

“I think with someone they don’t already know, they would be more likely to open up.” She tells me.

 

“You think you could find a therapy that would work for them?” I ask her.

 

“I think that you aren’t really able to help them and I’ve had more experience with obsessive patients.” She tells me.

 

“You could probably write a paper about this case.” I tell her. Like Brian told me, sell it.

 

“Alex, it's about the patient not notoriety.” She tells me. 

 

“I'll have their files sent to you.” I tell her without smiling like a loon.

 

“I just need their police file, I think we need to start over.” She tells me. 

 

“Whatever you need.” I smile and get up.

 

“Don’t worry Alex, MY patients always get better.” She tells me smirking.

 

I walk away trying to hold in the laughter. Diana deserves Michael and Lindsay. I overheard her telling another doctor that she should have taken the case, since I couldn't handle it. I was actually pissed when she told the other doctor that if she had been chosen for the case there would have been progress. 

 

I had ended up drinking with a bitchy Brian. The monkeys took over his side of the bed. I told him to just sleep on Justin’s side. Brian thought about it for a second and told me that would work until he found a way to get rid of the shark bait. Emmett came over to see what we were talking about and I told them about Diana.

 

“Doc, there isn’t a cure to get over Justin, trust me on that.” Brian tells me.

 

“We told you from the beginning that you were wasting your time.” Emmett tells me.

 

“I’m becoming a laughing stock because of all this.” I complain.

 

“Then give it to the bitch who thinks she can do it better.” Brian tells me.

 

“Let her deal with them and us.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Is something wrong?” Justin leans over with his arms around my neck and his chin on my shoulder. 

 

“Baby, another doctor is making fun of Alex. She’s saying that she could cure Michael and Lindsay.” Emmett tells him.

 

“I told Alex to let her have at it.” Brian tells Justin.

 

“Do you like her?” Justin whispers in my ear.

 

“Justin, no flirting.” Brian growls.

 

“I just want to know if he likes her. That way I know if we can play jokes on her.” Justin kisses my head and sits with Brian. Lindsay and Michael come and jump on the table.

 

“No beer Babies.” Justin moves the cup.

 

“Let them drink, then maybe they’ll pass out and I can leave them in the backroom.” Brian tells Justin.

 

“Didn’t the manager of Babylon ask you not to do that again.” Emmett asks Brian.

 

“They just like to pull on things. People need to learn to not leave things hanging out.” Justin tell Emmett.

 

“The first time your babies pull on anything I leave hanging out they’re history.” Drew tells Justin.

 

“You scare them, so you don’t have to worry.” Justin skips over to Drew.

 

“So you finally saw the light.” Drew asks me as Justin and Emmett snicker.

 

“Yes. When they somehow equated being dumped in shit as love, I gave up.” I tell him.

 

“So make her think she wants it, sell it.” Brian tells me.

 

“Always make sure she believes she can do it better.” Emmett tells me.

 

“Let us know when we can start interfering again.” Blake tells me.

 

“I promise to drive the other doctor crazier.” Justin tell me.

 

“We could just let her learn what I did, they aren’t curable.” I offer.

 

“Alex, you know we actually like you don’t you?” Emmett asks me.

 

“I guess I do.” I tell them.

 

“We were being good, truthfully.” Justin tells me.

 

“Yeah, Brian told us we couldn’t do anything really bad.” Daphne tells me as she hands the monkey’s her cup.

 

“So if she thinks she is going to rub it in your face that she can treat Michael and Lindsay then we have to show her she can’t. Babies, not too much.” Justin rolls his eyes at Brian as he pours more in the cup.

 

“Hey you can even help us, your ideas need work, but they were at least thought out.” Ted tells me.

 

“So are you ready to join us in making the other doctor wish she never took this case?” Justin asks me.

 

“Yes, but you have to at least use the glue once.” I smile.

 

PITTSBURGH GAZETTE

 

LOCAL PSYCHIATRIST AND PATIENTS END UP GLUED TO BALL DROPPING IN TIME SQUARE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.