Brian pulled into one of the reserved parking spaces in front of the unique art gallery in downtown Pittsburg. He was not really looking forward to meeting with the artist-in-residence that the gallery owner had hired him to promote. The young artist had made quite a name for himself among critics and art connoisseurs in attendance at the two shows that had thus far showcased his work. As a result, the curator had actually convinced the board of the gallery to create a space on the top floor of the building that would include lodging as well as a studio space that any upcoming artist would find irresistible.

The only stipulation placed on the scholarship they offered to Justin Taylor was that he show his work exclusively at their gallery for the next 3 years, after which he was free to show anywhere he chose. 

They hoped that this would discourage the man from taking off to pursue similar opportunities available in New York, so that they could take advantage of the publicity that would be afforded to them as the catalyst for discovering and honing the young man's incredible talent.

It wasn't that the ad exec had any kind of aversion to art, or artists. In fact, he rather enjoyed being able to show off his considerable art collection in various places around the bathhouse turned office headquarters for the agency he had created from the ground up...a strange venue to be sure, but one that worked for him for a variety of reasons. No, his indifference had more to do with the conversation that he had had with Michael before he left the loft that afternoon.

Brian and Michael had been friends, best friends, since they were 14 years old. Truth be told, he was quite sure that he would not have survived his teen years without the dark haired, boy-next-door with whom he now shared not only his life, but his bed as well. While their coupling could never be described as mind-blowing, it was satisfying in the same way that a favorite old pair of shoes becomes comfortable and familiar. It may not be the sort of thing that you proudly take out and brag about to your friends, or exactly what you pictured when you let your mind ponder the possibilities, but yet you can't imagine parting with it or trying to live without it.

In actuality, that was the very thing that troubled him about their discussion earlier. He thought once again to his reaction when Mikey told him that he still had absolutely no objection to Brian finding adventure and passion with other men, if that fulfilled his sexual longings and made him happy. In fact, he revealed, he had never actually expected monogamy when they decided to extend take their friendship to ‘friends with benefits'. He actually said that! Was that all they were? More importantly, was that enough to keep him content as he looked towards the future? Fuck, he had tossed aside his determination to never be in a relationship, he never wanted to care for anyone enough to be hurt by them. He didn't need this! And now to find that it was all for nothing, that things were not really as they seemed?!?!? Well, it was more than he could take.

 It occurred to him that it said more than anything else about the real state of their relationship, and while he couldn't say that he didn't enjoy the dalliances he had engaged in through the years, Michael's approval left him more than a little distracted and confused - and angry! He was Brian ‘fucking' Kinney, for fuck's sake, he could have anyone he wanted, and the only thing that should be this hard is his dick!

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

Shaking his head to clear it, Brian stepped out of the car and entered the old building where he was to meet young Mr. Taylor. He had read the biography for a second time over breakfast that morning, and reviewing them in his mind, he had to admit that there were several facts within its text that had him intrigued.  First and foremost, the artist was apparently quite the little overachiever.  Graduating 2 years ahead of the rest of his classmates, after taking all advanced placement courses, including mostly pre-college coursework in his ‘senior' year, he successfully challenged quite a few of the first year requirements, and then achieved an impressive 1500 on his SAT's. As a result, he was accepted into PIFA as a sophomore right after graduation, and then was offered a full ride scholarship to pursue his degree in fine arts with a concentration on drawing, painting and conceptual practice. As an ad man, this last area of concentration especially captured his interest. He thought to himself that he would be sure to ask the artist what his purpose was in adding this rather new type of program to his specialized degree goals.

There was very little that  Brian found more impressive than a person who could hold his own intellectually, who knew what he wanted and was willing to work hard, driven to do whatever it takes to reach his goals. Not only impressive, but down-right appealing. It really was a shame that the lad was so very young. Not only was Justin entering his senior year in college at the ripe old age of 18, but he also had been offered not one, but two gallery showings while still in college, a feat that is almost unheard of the serious art world. Despite his preoccupation with thoughts of Michael and their future, Brian was suddenly extremely anxious to see the level of talent and apparent maturity it would take to accomplish all that this young man had undertaken, successfully at that.

The other thing that he certainly wanted to address with his newest client was the information on his ‘coming out'. His biography stated that when he told his parents he was gay, his father issued an ultimatum forcing him to choose between giving up his life's dreams and totally hiding his sexuality identity or being disowned to the point where his father would no longer even acknowledge him as his son.

Brian kicked himself for misplacing the picture that had accompanied the biography, hoping against hope that this Justin Taylor was a troll, or fat, or in some other way thoroughly unattractive. This young

man's story showed courage and strength beyond that which Brian had ever seen, and with Michael encouraging him to gratify his hunger for passion wherever he finds it, he knew that just their age difference alone might not be enough to deter him if he found that Justin was physically attractive as well. Hell, Justin seemed to be not only academically on par with Brian, but indeed appeared to be superior to him in maturity. Brian was sure that he would never have been brave enough to choose the way Justin did, being so comfortable and self-confident in himself that he could chose his dreams over his family, and then share it with the world, not caring what anyone else thought.

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

As he reached the reception desk, Brian told the girl sitting there that he had an appointment with Justin Taylor. He saw her eyes glaze over, wondering if she got high on her lunch break, when she really was thinking to herself that this was probably the most handsome...and sexy...man she had ever met.

She picked up the phone and rang upstairs to page Justin, letting Brian know that the artist would be down in a few minutes. While he waited, Brian walked slowly around the exhibit floor, stopping when he noticed a few pieces by young Taylor that he recognized from the brochure he had been sent. He quickly realized two things. First, the renderings on paper did not do justice to the incredible work that was before him, the richness and choice of color, the uncanny ability he had to make the ordinary seem amazing and anything but ordinary, and the way each piece told a story that the viewer, at least this viewer, could immediately identify, knowing the beginning, middle and end.

The second thing he saw there was that the brochure did not even begin to show all that Justin had to offer. He didn't like surprises, and was not at all thrilled to find that his publicity packet from the gallery only included a few of Justin's canvases, and in fact they had left off some of the most awe provoking pieces that the kid had hanging  there.

As he stared at one particular picture, he was struck by the intensity with which he felt each emotion that was depicted there. It was an abstract painting, full of broad strokes and heavy coloring. He coughed to cover the choke that lodged itself in his throat as he continued to gaze at the canvas, then suddenly he felt rather than heard the young man come up behind him.

"Is there something about this one that reaches down inside you? What does it make you feel?" Justin stood back and watched for the response.

Brian found himself unable to move, the unfamiliar feeling of exploding nerve endings trailing their way up and down his spine. He willed himself to turn around, yet not sure that he could. That voice, he thought, please, don't let it be him! I will not stand here and let him know how much that voice, and this piece, has already affected me. ‘Get a grip, Kinney! You are turning into a fucking lesbian.'

Brian turned around slowly, and then, at precisely the same moment, both men let out a gasp that could be heard anywhere on the small gallery floor, had anyone been there to listen. Brian almost groaned aloud as he realized that not only was this boy most definitely not a troll, but he was quite possibly the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

"Mr. Kinney, I suppose?" Justin almost sighed, unable to take his gaze off the gorgeous brunette, noticing the older man's deep green eyes at the same time as the lips that threatened to take his breath away. He reached out his hand to greet the ad man, planning only to lightly but firmly shake the hand that Brian offered in response, when he was caught completely by surprise as soon as their hands touched. The jolt of electricity that immediately caused him to feel flushed as it travelled through his body, also brought a swift blush to his cheeks as it reached his cock, triggering his pants to tighten. With a swift intake of breath, he let go, turning quickly to hide the growing hard-on that left him both embarrassed and confused. Never had he reacted quite this strongly to any man simply on meeting...and touching... and certainly never with a perfect stranger.  "Please, allow me to show you more on the second floor, and then we can have a seat and get acquainted." Justin said, wondering to himself how he could get through this interview if his dick continued to betray him, showing no more control than a horny teen-ager.

As he followed him up the ornate staircase in the rear of the gallery floor, Brian attempted to regain his composure.  ‘What the fuck was that?' he thought to himself. He had never felt anything like it with any man, and he had been with plenty. It was almost like the blonde had reached right out and stroked his dick, causing it to throb and twitch like a schoolboy.  ‘Get a grip, Kinney', he repeated to himself. As he looked up at the young man leading him up the stairs, however, he had to hold back a moan, as he found himself quite literally at eye level with the most awe inspiring ass that he had ever had the pleasure of ogling.

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As he rounded the corner at the top of the stairs, Brian followed Justin towards the far wall on the rear. He looked up to see that they were approaching a rather ingenious device which held a great many canvases placed side by side, each one hung from a swinging frame allowing anyone interested the opportunity to turn and view them one by one. ‘What a great way to store unhung pieces ', Brian thought to himself, glad for the distraction from the perfect bubble butt that threatened to undo him. Here he was, a successful owner and CEO of his own company, hired by a prestigious art gallery to represent their protégé, and he was reacting like a fucking teenager with no more self-control than a babe just out of diapers.  He had to get a hold of himself, although, truth be told, he would much rather get a hold of that luscious ass. He was not even aware of the smile that had spread across his face, nor the darkening of his normally hazel eyes, as his thoughts once again turned to the things he would love to do to the young man standing a tortuous few feet away from him.

At that moment, Justin turned around, meaning only to invite the brunette to peruse the completed paintings on display there in order to become more familiar with his work. Instead he was struck by the realization that he was not the only one struggling to maintain decorum and keep this interview professional and appropriate. Even if Brian's lust filled eyes did not give away his obvious attraction, it would be rather difficult to miss the rather impressive erection that was now clearly outlined beneath the brunette's dark gray Armani sacks. 

As their eyes met, a crimson flush crept over Justin's otherwise alabaster skin, and in response, Brian's lips rolled inward while his eyes now twinkled with amused embarrassment. Both men were now aware that they were each doing their very best to compose themselves, and continue with the interview without making a complete fool of themselves.

Unable to pay proper attention to the paintings before him, Brian spoke up. "Perhaps we best leave my familiarity with your portfolio for another time. I can have my team take a picture of each piece that you intend to include in our publicity brochure. I'm sure that you are a busy man, as am I, and so I see no reason to take up either of our time with details that can better be left to the photography, art and media departments."

Brian was as surprised as Justin at the sudden harshness in his voice, but enough was enough. He was no saint, to be sure, and had fucked plenty of clients or their representatives as a tension reliever following negotiations or never ending meetings, but never before had his dick caused him to be unable to conduct business completely. He had a reputation to protect, and there was no way he was going to come off as anything other than competent and efficient in his dealings with this young man. 

"Uh, sure," Justin responded as he pointed the way to a cubicle set off to the side of the room. ‘Let's have a seat over here in the office, and we can take care of any questions you have for me, as well as jotting down a preliminary outline of our strategy and timeline so that we are both on the same page as far as how to proceed." The blonde quickly sat down behind the desk just inside the workplace, and motioned for Brian to have a seat on the other side, far enough removed from himself to keep their proximity and errant desires from becoming any more of a problem than they already had.

For the next few hours the men gathered the information they each required, as well as signing the forms and contracts they would need to move forward. From time to time, carefully so as to not get caught, they each stole glances surreptitiously. Neither of them was still quite sure what it was, other than obvious beauty and sex appeal, that was causing them to react the way they were to the other man. Yet neither of them could deny that there was something new going on here, something different than they had ever felt before, something they could neither define nor explain.   

As their meeting came to a close, each man carefully avoided touch of any kind, including the handshake that would have been proper protocol in any other circumstance. ‘Perhaps it's his voice, which is sexy as hell,' Justin thought to himself, ‘or those eyes so full of passion and confidence, or maybe the fact that he listens, truly listens, seeming to hang on to  every word I say,'  while at the same time Brian's mind was occupied with images of plump and pouty lips, pools of the most vibrant blue he had ever seen through which the blonde looked out upon the world, and a smile that could rival the most amazing  glimpse of sunshine that he had ever had the privilege to view.

They exchanged business cards, with Brian agreeing to have his assistant Cynthia call to set up an appointment at Kinnetik for the two men to review the first drafts of the advertising boards and brochure proofs that would be the first step in making the young artist a household name among the artistic community and beyond.

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

As Justin returned to his afternoon task list, determined to put the hot brunette out of his mind completely, Brian flipped open his cell phone as he got into his Corvette to head back to the office. He rolled his eyes as he noticed that there were 5 missed messages from Michael that had all come in during the time he was in the gallery. He thought briefly about simply texting Mikey, telling him that he was still in meetings and that he would be home late, not to bother waiting up, but he thought the better of it and decided it was better to just get it over with and listen to whatever Mikey had to say to him.

He dialed the number, wincing as he heard the familiar voice whining into the phone after only one ring. "Brian, where the fuck are you and why haven't you been answering my calls?" He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, immediately sorry that he had not gone with his original idea.

"First of all, dear," Brian responded sarcastically, "you're not my little wifey, and I don't answer to you or to anyone. " He smacked his hand against his steering wheel hard enough to really hurt, which just pissed him off even more. "And since you don't really give a shit where I stick my dick, then I'm sure you won't mind if I go on a little hunting expedition tonight and find a perky little specimen and fuck his brains out. You might want to find someplace else to lay your head tonight though, unless you want to come back to the loft... and watch."

Brian knew that he was overreacting, but he didn't like Mikey's tone one little bit, and his afternoon with the artist had left him horny as hell. On top of that, the last thing he wanted to do was act like everything was ‘perfect in paradise' and go home and fuck Mikey like all was well. He was pretty sure that would just leave him more frustrated than he was right now.

"Brian, why are you talking to me like that? I know we didn't leave on the best of terms this morning, but I'm your best friend. It's always been us, always will be. You're just a little annoyed with me. Let's meet back at the loft and have some dinner and then we can talk this through. Besides, you never bring tricks back home with you. You'll feel better about things once you calm down."

"Suit yourself. Don't say I didn't warn you." Brian sneered as he hung up the phone, and peeled out into traffic to begin his quest. Some lucky hunk is going to hit the jackpot tonight, and he is going to fuck him so hard that he will still feel him inside when he sits his ass down wherever he needs to tomorrow.

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

Brian walked into Boy Toy, letting his eyes span the room before him as he found his way over to the bar and ordered a double J.B. This place was not one of his usual haunts, but he found himself hungry for a piece of young, blonde ass.  Not the type he was normally attracted to, but then nothing today was normal, was it?

He turned around with his back to the bar, leaning on his elbows behind him, and once again let his eyes roam. He told several interested parties to ‘fuck off', having his sights set on a very specific target tonight. Suddenly, he walked onto the dance floor, crossing it quickly as he approached a mark that would fill the bill quite nicely, handing out one last ‘not interested' as he walked across the room.

As he advanced on his chosen objective, he noticed with delight that there were not one, but two lovely young men, dancing within only a few feet of each other, and both vying for his attention. While Brian and Michael had been friends for what seemed like forever, they had only been sharing a bed for a little over a year. Before that, Brian had quite a reputation as the ‘Stud of Liberty Avenue', with men throwing themselves at him for just a chance for one night in his bed. They knew without asking that there would never be more, he didn't do repeats, and no one was ever allowed to wake up there in the morning.

Nodding at the first, he smiled with a gleam in his eye as the young man drew nearer, dancing against him, causing his breath to quicken and his cock to twitch. With his grin widening, his tongue finding a spot in the crook of his cheek, he nodded at the second, gratified to see him accept his summons as well. Reaching down to whisper in one ear, then the next, he threw his arms around their shoulders, leading them off of the dance floor and out the door. As the reached his car, he was glad that he had chosen the model with a back seat.  "Pick your spots, boys. It's going to be a wild ride tonight. Let's roll!"

Mikey walked up to the door at Babylon, passing those waiting in line and entering with a nod from security. He had thought about asking the doorman if Brian had arrived yet, but didn't really relish the thought of everyone knowing that he and his Brian were at odds. He knew folks already talked behind his back, wondering how he had caught the eye of the great Brian Kinney. Truth be told, while he knew that he and Brian shared something special, and loved each other beyond question, their lovemaking had always felt more like simple convenience...more readily available sex than the burning  passion he imagined when he thought about actually ‘being in love'.

While he would love to know what it could be like to have a partner whose hunger and desire for him could be felt whenever he walked near, what he and his best friend had was comfortable, and he couldn't imagine ever giving it up to go searching for some elusive romantic notion that might not really exist. He had too much to lose. Not only was Brian successful enough that neither man ever had to be concerned about the cost of the lifestyle they enjoyed, but just having everyone know that he was the only one who ever woke up in Brian's bed gave Michael a certain status that he knew without a shadow of a doubt he could never hope to attain on his own. He knew that the handsome brunette's affection for him was real and true, and for someone like him, that would just have to be enough. Besides, Brian was always telling him that queers didn't do the ‘happily ever after kind of crap' that the breeders and munchers of the world seemed to think was the only way to find happiness in this life.

He had been sure that he would find Brian at Woody's, chugging down too many Jim Beam's and needing his old friend to get him home in one piece, the way he always had. He had waited almost an hour before deciding that Brian must have come right to the club. He wondered what state he would find him in. When Brian was angry, his usual method of coping was to drink too much, take too many drugs, and fuck anything that walked, as long as he hadn't had him before.  

As he searched for the brunette among the crowd, he hoped to himself that he wouldn't need to take his quest to the backroom.  That would not only be humiliating, now that everyone knew they were together, but it was guaranteed to make Brian mad all over again. He was really hoping to be able to locate Brian quietly and quickly, without drawing any more attention to them than was necessary, and get him out of there and back to the loft to bed. He would have to wait until morning to try to reason with him, and resolve the issues that had been brewing between them. The risk was just too great if things kept going the way they had been.

He walked around the dance floor and then scanned the bar once again, still not seeing the gorgeous shock of brunette hair that usually stood head and shoulders above the others in the room. He had almost resigned himself to a trip down the hall to find Brian getting his dick sucked, or worse, when he heard his friend Emmett call his name.

"Hey, baby. Where's your handsome better half?" Emmett yelled above the thumpa thumpa of the music.  "If I had that gorgeous guy in my bed, sweetie, I wouldn't let him out of my sight for a second."

"I haven't seen him yet tonight," Michael frowned. "How long have you been here? I was hoping you could tell me where he is." Emmett looked at Michael, curiously. "Well, if he's here, baby, I haven't seen him, and I've been here for a while. Why don't you just call his cell so you can find each other?" Mikey had no choice but to admit to his friend that he and Brian had a fight, and he wasn't sure how Brian would respond if he called him.

"Well, he's not in the backroom honey, I just came from there with an absolutely delicious little thing I found. Maybe he is waiting for you back at the loft." Michael's heart sank. If Brian was still sulking, he could be anywhere. He decided to take Emmett's advice, and head back to the loft to check there before wasting any more time looking for him. If things worked out in his favor, Brian would be home in bed sleeping it off, and he could just slip in next to him without disturbing him, and everything would look better in the morning.

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

Michael pulled the door closed in the loft, and threw his keys on the counter. He was more than a little upset at not having any idea where Brian was, or what shape he would be in when he found him. He started towards the fridge to grab a beer, trying to think where to look next. He had no doubt that Brian would not answer his phone, knowing that his long-time friend would be much too stubborn now to simply pick up, especially when he saw Mikey's name on the caller ID.

He turned towards the platform bedroom area, intending to change his clothes and continue on his way, when he stopped short, unable to believe that what he thought he heard could possibly be true. 

There was no way that Brian would have carried through on his childish threat, no way that he would bring a trick home to their bed, no matter how pissed off he was. As he walked closer though, there was no doubt that what he was hearing was his lover in the throes of passion.

Throwing open the swivel door closest to where he stood, he could not believe his eyes. He let out an ear splitting screech as he entered the room, barely able to contain his rage. "Just what the fuck do you think you're doing, Brian? How could you do this? What the hell were you thinking?" His mouth hung open in wounded indignation watching Brian look up at him with a contented smile, obviously coming down from a very satisfying release. There on the bed with his lover he saw not one...but two, very blonde, very young, very not Brian's type twinks, one with his ass in the air, head thrown back as Brian deftly finger fucked his ass, while the other had his tongue on Brian's cock, eagerly licking up the remains of a what looked like quite a substantial load.

"Close your mouth, Mikey, unless you want to put it to good use and come join us. If not, then just get the fuck out, because we're kind of busy here." Brian snarled with a look in his eyes that the dark haired man could not remember seeing before, at least not directed at him.

This was worse than he had even imagined. He didn't know for sure if he was more hurt, or more scared. They had fights before, and he was used to Brian lashing out when he felt threatened or angry. If nothing else, his childhood had taught him to dish out the hurt before anyone could break through his walls and hurt him. Still, Brian had never done anything like this before. Never had he said the cruel things he was saying, never rubbed his face in the uninhibited fucking that the ‘stud of Liberty Avenue' had always been known for, using it as a weapon to cause as much pain as he could.

He thought back to their conversation this morning. Maybe his encouraging his partner to continue to fuck whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted to was the last straw. Brian had seemed more and more dissatisfied over the past month or so, and Michael shivered as he wondered if he should have paid more attention to what his lover was telling him as they left the loft to begin their day.

Perhaps Brian had finally realized that what he has with Mikey is not enough, that he wants more. Had things changed so much without Mikey even being aware of it. Was it possible that Brian had been growing up right before his eyes, and he had missed it?

If that were true, what the fuck was he going to do? Even knowing that their friendship would stand the test of time, made to last forever, Mikey knew that had it not been for their history growing up leaning on each other for companionship, support and protection, that someone like Brian would never have given him a second glance. His insecurities turned to pure panic as he thought to himself that everyone else knew it, too.

Making a conscious effort not to allow himself to think about what tomorrow would bring, Mikey walked toward the kitchen island and grabbed his keys. Tonight he would toss and turn in his old room across town in the house where he had grown up. He couldn't let himself ponder the possibility that this might be the first of many nights he would spend there once again. He tried not to let his mind slip to the possibility of lonely days and endless nights, of solitude and deprivation - both of material desires as well as physical pleasures.

As he left the loft, he had no idea what tomorrow would bring, and what his life would look like after they talked things through, but he did know that nothing good could possibly come from trying to resolve things tonight.

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

Justin pushed the door closed behind him with his foot, as he entered his apartment and set the bags from his grocery shopping on the counter just inside. His always voracious appetite was on overload, fueled in no small part by the unfulfilled longing that had caught him by surprise just a few hours before. There was no doubt that his encounter with the gorgeous ad man this afternoon had left him hungrier than he could remember being in quite some time, if ever. And if his lust wasn't being fed, than his stomach stepped up to demand attention.

As he began emptying the bags, however, his mind strayed from all the luscious recipes that had been keeping him distracted, and returned to the man who was front and center at the root of his frustration. Did Brian have any idea the effect he had had on the young blonde? It was obvious that the attraction was not completely one-sided. Was it possible that Brian was even half as derailed as he was right now, his dick having spent the last few hours in various - and sometimes downright uncomfortable -stages of hardness. He thought to himself that whatever it was that he had felt, and was still feeling, was like a fire burning out of control, the flames getting stronger and hotter the longer it went on.

He sank down onto the stool behind him, absently stroking himself as the picture of the tall, handsome man came once again to his mind. He tried to imagine what it would be like to gaze into those hazel eyes as the man towered over him, about to take him. He trembled with need as he thought about what it would feel like to grab hold of the brunette locks, overcome with passion and desire, plunging deep into the other man, intent on driving him wild with pleasure. He couldn't remember a time before in his life that he had wanted someone as much as he wanted Brian. Other than a few exceptions, Justin had always been a top, but as he came to the startling realization that he didn't much care who was doing the fucking, as long as the other man was in his bed and in his arms, he suddenly was pulled from his daydreaming by the most intense orgasm he could ever remember having from his own hand, and with all his clothes still on to boot.

As he hit the shower, he wondered once again how he was going to get through the time that he would need to spend with Brian in order to complete the task at hand for his career. He would have to do something, anything, to get himself under control, but as he closed his eyes and tried in vain to get to sleep, he had no idea what that might be.

Meanwhile, across town in his loft, Brian lay, fitful and restless. He could not believe that after several rounds of what most would consider to be really hot sex with two very energetic young tricks, he was still hard and unsatisfied, unable to keep a certain other beautiful young blonde from occupying his thoughts, not even caring that his lover had walked out, and from the way things appeared, their relationship may be fractured beyond repair.

"What am I supposed to tell him this time?" Cynthia asked. She was getting a little tired of fielding Justin Taylor's calls requesting an appointment. Each time Brian would tell her to set something up with Joe from the art department, which apparently did not satisfy the young artist.

Brian had no intention of telling his assistant that he had been avoiding the other man on purpose. There was no fucking way he could ever explain the effect that the young blonde had on him, and more importantly on his cock.

"Tell him that you will have to check with me and call him back." Brian sighed, thinking to himself that he was going to have to give in and see him, but not before he had a plan to keep his raging libido from being obvious to the young artist, as he was sure it had been at the gallery. Brian didn't do needy, and he was not about to start now.

He wondered once again how it was even possible that the blonde had affected him so deeply that he ended up bringing home those two twinks and fucking them into the mattress, not even stopping when Mikey had come home and found them.   While they had been enthusiastic, they weren't even really that good, but his need had been so great by that point that he would try anything to get the blonde artist off his mind.

He forced his thoughts to turn from Justin, instead thinking back to the months since he and Mikey had gone from being best friends, to ‘friends with benefits' or fuck buddies, or whatever you wanted to call it. He knew it had been a bad idea when Michael had talked him into it, telling him that it wouldn't change anything between them, and since they spent so much time together anyway, they might as well get some pleasure out of it as well.

Right from the start it was obvious that while it was often a relief to be able to get off without going out, or doing it himself, there was no insatiable hunger or overwhelming desire when he thought about this man with whom he shared his life. Still, he did love Mikey, with a real and undeniable affection born of a lifetime of taking care of each other, each relying on the other to always be there, no matter what. 

He wondered to himself if it was actually their history, or the increasingly unsatisfying sex that had made this morning's argument so intense. For years it had been Brian protecting Mikey from bullies, and Mikey offering Brian a place to stay, a shoulder to cry on, and even a mom to comfort him whenever his dad decided it was time for someone to get a beat down. He cringed when he let himself remember how often that had actually come to pass.

He never wanted to be in a ‘couple', never had any desire to be in a relationship. His mom and dad had shown him a long time ago that none of that was real, that marriage was a farce folks entered into so they could get laid without anyone looking down their nose at them, and that love was a myth, made up to make people feel better about themselves, not really hiding the hatred and bitterness behind it.

He had let his guard down with Mikey, against his better judgment. He never had any intention of promising him monogamy, he made sure to clarify that right from the start. Still it rattled him to know that Mikey didn't really seem to care. Everything had become so complicated. Somewhere along the line, without even being aware it was happening, Brian had begun to like having someone to come home to, even allowing himself to find comfort in believing that he was worth loving, despite what his old man had told him his whole life.  

So, when Mikey told him that not only did he not expect to be the only one Brian fucked, but that he actually wanted them both to continue tricking, it hit home to Brian that what he really wanted was to be enough - to have someone in his life that not only made him feel like nothing else mattered, but to have that same person so fulfill all of his longings, that he didn't really want anyone else.  He was growing up, and he wanted to believe that someone could care about him, and love him as he is.

Now, on top of this rather startling revelation, he was also trying to deal with whatever the fuck was going on with the blonde he couldn't get out of his mind, as well as his fear that pushing Mikey out of his bed, and out of his loft, would also mean that the man who had come to mean so much to him would also walk out of his life. He couldn't bear to think about a life without Mikey  to lean on, even though he would never admit that to anyone other than the man himself. He knew that the time had come for them to talk.

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

Michael walked into the deli just off of Liberty Ave where Brian had asked him to meet.  He knew this was not going to end well, given the fact that not only did not want to meet at the loft, but he also didn't want any of their friends or family to be there, and so had chosen a place they would not run into anyone they knew.

As he entered and walked over towards the brunette he had loved as long as he could remember, Brian looked up, and smiled a smile that did not quite reach the rest of his face. Michael could see that Brian was nervous as well, and he instantly became even more unsettled.

"Hi Mikey," Brian said quietly, pulling back as the other man tried to place a kiss on his lips. Instead he reached and gave Mikey a chaste kiss on the cheek, causing the dark haired man's stomach to churn once again.

"I think we both know that things cannot continue as they have been," Brian began. "It's mainly my fault. Even though I will always love you, I am not in love with you, and I can't change that. I never should have let you talk me into this arrangement that we have had."

"Arrangement?" Michael whined. "Is that all it was to you? I can't believe that's how you really feel."

"Come on Mikey, don't fucking queen out on me here, you know what I mean. This is not right for either of us. You deserve someone who loves you the way you want to be loved. I could never see that before. All I saw was keeping my dick happy, and little else mattered. But I have come to see that there is more to life, and that neither of us are going to find it tied to each other. "

As tears began to run down Michael's face, Brian continued. "Mikey, you are the only  one I have ever let myself  trust. You took care of me when no one else would, or could, and you let me know that I could always count on you. "

"Yeah, well, it wasn't always easy, but somebody had to do it," Michael sniffed .  Brian reached out to wipe a stray tear from his face as both men smiled sad smiles at each other, realizing that what they had was now over.

"This is not a time to joke Mikey, we have to resolve this before we lose our friendship as well . I think you know that we were never meant to be a couple.  And I know that I can live without fucking you, I'm still Brian Kinney for fuck's sake, and it will be a cold day in hell before I have to worry about not having a line of men just hoping for a nod from me. But I don't want to even think of my life without you in it. You're my best friend, and I don't want to lose that."

"That's fine for you. If I thought this would happen, I never would have lied and told you I didn't care if you tricked. I know your fucked up rules, Brian, and I know who I am. I thought that I had to make you believe that I agreed with your crazy views in life, so that you'd stay. Now I have lost it all anyway. You think I don't know you can have any man you want? I knew I could never compete, so instead I just tried to be what I thought you needed and maybe you would keep me around. I didn't fool myself that you would ever fall in love with me, but what am I supposed to do now, huh? I'll be the laughing stock everywhere I go. Who's gonna' love me now? I'm so afraid to be alone!"

Brian moved his chair closer to this man whose heart he was breaking, and pulled him into an embrace, as he placed his hand firmly behind Michael's neck and squeezed. "There is a guy out there who will be so lucky to have you, and will give you all you ever dreamed about. You did the impossible, Mikey. You took me from a place where I thought that all relationships are bullshit, and that fucking is all that matters, and you taught me that I could love when I never thought I could. You made me see that there is more to life, and now I want that, too.  I want to find someone I can love with my whole heart, who will love me back but not take any of my shit." Brian smirked. "Don't ever sell yourself short, Mikey, If you can do all that you have for me, than there is someone out there much less fucked up than me just waiting for all you have to offer, who won't be quite so much of a challenge."   

Mikey  chuckled slightly, looking up at this man he needed like he needed air, and placing his own arms around his neck in a tender embrace. "I love you Brian!"

Brian gazed into Michael's eyes softly, placing their foreheads together as he said, "Me, too, Mikey, always have, always will."

With that, he kissed Michael, hard, with probably more passion than he ever had. Then, as Mikey stood up and walked slowly out of the deli, turning briefly with eyes still moist with emotion, Brian averted his eyes and quietly whispered, "see ya  Mikey."

He sat there for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, spent and almost unable to find the energy he needed to stand up and move on with his day.

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

Hours later, Brian was alone at his desk, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He had no idea how long he had been sitting there, and truth be told, he couldn't have cared less. The whole scene with Michael this morning had left him emotionally drained, a feeling he was neither used to nor comfortable with, and he had no doubt that any should any of his employees have the misfortune of annoying or disappointing him this afternoon, there would be hell to pay.  So, he had not left his office once since he had returned, and he had left strict instructions with Cynthia that he was not to be disturbed for any reason.

As he considered getting up to pour himself a glass of Jim Beam, he suddenly heard a commotion in the hallway, and stomped towards the noise, ready to rip the head off whoever the hell was causing such an uproar. As his intercom buzzed at the same moment, he began to yell for his assistant, "Cynthia, what the fuck don't you understand about no calls and no interruptions?". 

As he drew closer to the source of the hubbub , he heard Cynthia loudly exclaim, "sir, you can't just  barge in there. " At that moment the door suddenly opened towards hi m, and he froze in place as he came face to face with the last person he could have expected to be entering his office.

"Justin!" he exclaimed, unable to keep the shock from registering on his features. "Why are you here, and more importantly, how the hell did you get past security and gain access to my office?" He could hardly believe that the little twat had the balls, not to mention the ingenuity to stampede his way past Cynthia, find his way to his office, and just help himself to turn the knob and walk right in.

"Well, Mr. Kinney," Justin drew out the name in the most delicious way, it went straight to Brian's cock, and he immediately was aware that all the blood was draining from his face, and heading directly south.

"It seems that getting an appointment with you is downright impossible, not to mention that other little obstacle that is in the way between you, me and a completed media campaign for my art. So, I decided that I had to take matters into my own hands, in a manner of speaking. " The blonde smirked to let Brian know that he was well aware of the innuendo beneath his words as he addressed the older man.

"Oh...and just what obstacle might that be?" Brian asked as he licked his suddenly dry lips, barely able to get the words out. His right eyebrow shot up as he saw Justin walks back towards the door, and then heard the lock in the door fall into place.

"I am very ambitious, Mr. Kinney, and I want my work to make me a very successful man. I believe that you are the man to accomplish that goal." As he spoke, Justin was once again walking towards the astonished brunette. "However," he continued, " I have been walking around with this ache for days, and nothing I do (Justin blushed as the implications of what he was saying began to show clearly on the other mans' face) seems to make it go away.  You, my friend, are probably the sexiest man I have ever had the pleasure to meet, and I know for a fact that you are attracted to me as well - I can quite easily see the mouthwatering evidence of that right in front of me." Justin paused here for dramatic effect, and then with a glint in his eye, continued when all Brian could do was swallow, stare and seat himself on the edge of the desk that he had slowly been backing up to as the other man talked.

"I have no doubt that we are not going to get anything done until that obstacle is removed, and so, if I may suggest, I think I should remove all my clothes, and when I am done, then I will do the same for you.  After that, I thought we would just fuck and get it over with, you know, take the edge off so that we can move past this and get down to more lucrative business and make me a very rich man. "

As Justin uttered the last three words, Brian gasped as the blonde's face broke out into the singularly biggest and brightest smile he had ever seen, and his fingers punctuated each syllable, trailing along the entire length of Brian's cock with delightful abandon.

The brunette could not hold back the moan that escaped his lips as the sensation of that simple gesture threatened to make him lose all control. He simply could not resist this man who was so wantonly stroking him now.  Justin was simply irresistible, having gotten under his skin in a way that no other man ever had. It was like a fever, which, if left untreated, just keeps rising out of control, until delirium takes over, leaving its victim quivering and panting.

As Brian gazed into the bluest eyes he had ever seen, not even aware that the blonde was doing just as he promised by removing every stitch of clothing he had on, he saw the determination, lust, and something else he could not quite identify, and would have to think about much later when he was capable of coherent thought.

He gasped once again as his body responded to two things simultaneously. One, Justin was now most definitely completely unclothed, his hardness pressing onto Brian's now totally engorged manhood, and two, Justin's lips were now directly over his, his tongue swiping along his bottom lip for entrance, and his breath, hot and sweet, burning his own in the most delicious way possible.

Brian opened his mouth to allow him entry, thinking to himself, ‘oh, God, it's never felt like this...is this what I've been missing... is it possible that everything that I have ever believed is wrong...nothing has ever felt this right...this is amazing...can't get enough...'  His thoughts were a  jumbled mess as another moan slipped from between his lips.  He grabbed the back of Justin's  neck and pressed in to deepen the kiss, slipping his own shirt off his shoulders, not even stopping to wonder how and when it had been unbuttoned and fallen open.

Last time...

He gasped once again as his body responded to two things simultaneously. One, Justin was now most definitely completely unclothed, his hardness pressing onto Brian's now totally engorged manhood, and two, Justin's lips were now directly over his, his tongue swiping along his bottom lip for entrance, and his breath, hot and sweet, burning his own in the most delicious way possible.

 Brian opened his mouth to allow him entry, thinking to himself, ‘oh, God, it's never felt like this...is this what I've been missing... is it possible that everything that I have ever believed is wrong...nothing has ever felt this right...this is amazing...can't get enough...'  His thoughts were a  jumbled mess as another moan slipped from between his lips.  He grabbed the back of Justin's  neck and pressed in to deepen the kiss, slipping his own shirt off his shoulders, not even stopping to wonder how and when it had been unbuttoned and fallen open.

Justin's lips never broke from the passionate kiss as he continued to remove the rest of Brian's clothes.  Coming up for air, he took advantage of the break to bend over and slide the sexy man's shoes and socks off, deftly slipping off the last items, the pants and briefs that had pooled around the brunette's ankles.

From just outside the office, Brian could hear Cynthia and Tom from security calling out to him, alarm evident in their voices. "No interruptions," he barely managed to growl. "Everything is fine in here." Even as he spoke, his eyes never swayed from their gaze on the pools of ocean blue that he saw when he looked at this man who had boldly stepped past every hurdle to getting what he wanted,  realizing with a start that at this moment,  what Justin wanted...was him.

He paused for a second to let his mind wander over the past few days when he couldn't get this blonde off his mind, and had to quickly agree that Justin was right, until they could start thinking with their brains, instead of the parts of them that were definitely leading the parade at the moment, that they would not be getting any efficient work done - for Justin, or for anyone else for that matter. He allowed himself to hope that once he sunk himself deeply inside the gorgeous ass he knew was standing before him, that he would be able to focus on the job at hand, and fulfill Justin's faith in him.

He was abruptly startled back to the present by a low moan that he felt more than heard when Justin began nibbling on and around his ear, instinctively finding one of his most sensitive spots.  The next moan he heard most definitely came from his own throat, and he wondered for the first time if once was really going to be enough with this man. ‘Where the fuck did that thought come from?' he wondered to himself, in the next minute losing all ability to put any cohesive thoughts together in his mind.  He became lost in the pleasure that was assaulting his senses at the hands of this artist extraordinaire before him, acknowledging that the young man's talents definitely extended outside the studio.

Justin was every bit as overcome with the sensations overloading his body, as every nerve and pore began to sizzle and spark. His breathing was restricted to short panting gasps, and he wondered if he had ever been this turned on by any man he had encountered.  Ever so slowly, he allowed his tongue to forge a path down Brian's chest, stopping to lick one hardened nipple into his mouth, as he nimbly tweaked the other between his finger and his thumb.  He was encouraged by the mewling sound that he heard from this delectable man before him, the corners of this mouth turning up ever so slightly as he switched places, letting his mouth attack the other aroused nub, stimulating both in order to coerce that wonderful sound from Brian's lips one more time. He knew that it was a noise he could never tire of hearing.

He suddenly wondered if Brian was a top or a bottom, and then knew immediately that it made no difference to him at all. He was the type to give his all to any endeavor, no matter what. As a result, even though he lost his family's love and support in the process, once he came out he thoroughly  embraced all aspects of being a gay man. He knew from what he had been told that he was an attentive and skilled lover, and was equally comfortable in whatever position he allowed himself. That was the true indication of control for him - nothing stopped him as long as it was his own choice.

Hands and lips continuing to explore and discover every inch of each other, the two men slid to the ground, neither one caring that the floor was hard. As Justin landed on top of Brian, their cocks met suddenly, intensifying the heat that was building between them so quickly they each hissed at the contact. Every movement caused their engorged manhood to grind more tortuously against each other, until Justin had to intentionally throw himself to the side in an attempt to abate the pressure just a bit. He was so aroused it was actually painful, and he couldn't remember ever being this hard.

Attempting to distract himself from his own need for release, he turned suddenly and took Brian into his mouth, swallowing him completely in one swift movement.  Brian instantly wondered how long it would take for Cynthia and Tom to be back banging on the door making sure he was ok, as he shouted out in reaction. His body arched so high off the floor that there was an audible thud when he returned to the ground, and then two things happened simultaneously.  

First, Justin realized that feeling this perfect cock throbbing in his throat was doing absolutely nothing but increase the likelihood that he was going to cum, and soon. As the familiar tingle began to creep throughout his body signaling his release was imminent, he wondered to himself how he could possibly endure fucking this man if it could be this intense merely sucking his cock.

Second, Brian wondered to himself how he could possibly survive another day on this earth without having this delightful mouth surrounding his cock, making his body feel all the wonderful things it was feeling this very moment.

Cynthia cringed, and then smiled knowingly, as she heard both men roar out the other's name in simultaneous release. She had been coming to check on the man who had been her boss for years, and had become a treasured friend.  Wanting nothing more than for Brian to find the happiness he could never admit he deserved, for the first time she could remember, she thought that Brian was doing more than just ok.

"Fuck...that was...I don't even think there are words to describe what that was." Brian sighed.  "I have never needed to cum that badly in my whole life! And, that was just the beginning. I am going to fuck you so hard and so long that there is no way for you to move this week without being reminded of today - and how I felt inside you. "

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

Several hours later, Brian smiled as he told himself he would have to give Cynthia a raise. He had fought her tooth and nail when she had bought the pull out version of his office couch, eventually convincing him that he might have use for it when the long days spilled over into the night. Never having fucked in his office before, at the time he couldn't imagine a time when anything would be so urgent that he couldn't make it back to the loft before the need for a bed presented itself.  Now, for the first time, he wondered just how wrong he could be?

His thoughts drifted to the blonde beauty who was nestled against his chest, and his smile deepened as  he recalled the events of the last few hours.  While he had been completely sapped of energy after his  emotional encounter with Mikey, right now he felt like he could bike across America and still have the energy to jog across the finish line.

‘I didn't even have to touch him the first time he came,' Brian thought to himself, amazed. ‘He fucking came just from kissing and blowing me.'  He had been with lots of guys in his time, but could not remember anything ever making him feel this way about a sexual encounter before.  This was satisfying in a way he had never experienced before.

He remembered before thinking that beyond this young blonde's determination and obvious lust, there was something else he was seeing behind those eyes...God...those eyes, he could lose himself in the blueness of them. 

Justin was courageous and resourceful, he had shown that by coming there, finding his way to his office and not letting anything or anyone stand in his way. He was ambitious, with all his talk about the two of them making him a ‘very rich man'.  He was brilliant and talented, that went without saying. And he could keep up with him sexually - hell maybe even outshine him - when it came to those particular talents and prowess. He couldn't think of a single thing this lovely man lying next to him didn't have to offer.

Yet, there was something more...something beyond physical attraction, and respect for his vast and varied achievements.  Something different, something new, and...he suspected, something he was increasingly aware he had been yearning for for some time now.  This man had all the passion and drive it would take to not only be loved by him, but to love him in return...heart, body and soul.

Brian was growing up, and part of that process was admitting to himself that this was what he wanted...more than he ever thought possible.  Someone with whom he could share every aspect of his life, who would accept him as he was, but would not take any of his shit. He had a feeling that Justin could more than hold his own against the man who was the reality behind the ‘stud of Liberty Ave', and he thought once again that he would never be able to get enough of this man who had in one day done what many before had tried to do and failed. Justin Taylor, 18 and unstoppable, had stolen the heart of one Brian Kinney, and life as he knew it would never be quite the same.

For once he was thinking with more than just his dick - and while that thought scared the hell out of him, he had to pull his lips into his signature nervous smile as he felt himself harden just thinking about how great the sex had been, and how much he wanted a repeat performance as soon as possible.

Feeling Brian's newly aroused dick pressing at his crack, Justin roused, and grinned as he turned to greet Brian with a kiss. "Hey, how long have you been awake? We had kind of an ambitious work-out earlier."

"Yes, and one that I am anxious to improve upon." Brian said, grinning as he noticed the disappointed look that came over the blonde's face.  "They say practice makes perfect," he continued, " and as much as I can't imagine it getting any better, I am certainly more than willing to give it a good old college try." Brian told him, tongue in cheek.

Grinning back at him as he realized what Brian was actually saying, Justin responded, "as tempting as that sounds, Mr. Kinney, I don't think that would be a good idea. "

"Oh, and why would that be, Mr. Taylor" Brian replied.

"Because as phenomenal as our little tryst was, and it was delightful,"   Justin answered, " I wouldn't want either of us to lose sight of the fact that a fuck is just a fuck, and that what happened here today was nothing more than more than enjoyable way of getting past  the one thing that had us stymied...'he's hot...what would it be like to fuck him'? Well, now we know, and we can get on with the reason we became acquainted to begin with - the campaign for my collection, without our lust getting in the way."

Brian's smile faded as he heard what Justin had to say. "I don't believe that's all there is to us, Justin. I saw something in your eyes, you want me as badly as I want you. You can deny it all you want, but we could be great together, hell, we are already great together, and not just in bed. Sure, I have never  met anyone who is more my equal in the sex department, you even fucking came without me even touching you." Justin blushed. " But there is something there beyond that Sunshine, because for the first time I have found someone who can rival me not only in the bedroom, but in any room. Justin, I have been waiting for someone who can hold his own no matter what life throws his way, and I believe I have found that in you.  I have a feeling I wouldn't get away with anything with you around, and I love a challenge. Can't we see where this thing...whatever it is between us...has a chance?"

"Sunshine?" Justin asked, one eyebrow raised. "Yes... Sunshine, you twat." Brian laughed. "You light up any room you are in, not only with that megawatt smile of yours, but just being who you are. And I want nothing more than to get to know more about that very subject."

"Brian, who are you kidding? You have your office in an old bath house. Everyone on Liberty Ave has either ‘known' you in the biblical sense, or knows someone who has." Justin said in a voice just slightly tinged with sadness. "You have to understand. My own father disowned me because of...who I am. My mother tried, but wasn't strong enough to fight for me.  I'm not disillusioned, I'm practical. I don't expect anything from those around me, and they in turn don't have the power to hurt me. I live in the moment, and can't afford to allow myself to believe anything more than that. If my own parents didn't love me enough to stay, how can I believe anyone would?"

Brian flinched as Justin's words. How could his own lifestyle come back to slap him in the face. What could he say to convince this man that the past was just that, and that he was ready to move forward and grow beyond it? He averted his gaze from the blue eyes staring at him, daring him to deny anything that he had heard.

"Everyone who knows me knows that I have always put my pleasures first. Brian ‘fucking' Kinney, love ‘em and leave ‘em, that's me. There's just one thing though, Justin, and before I met you, I have to admit it is not a question I would have ever asked myself, far less utter to another living soul."

‘What's that?" Justin probed, more than a little curious.

"What if I want more?"

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

Brian looked up as Justin walked into his office and sat down.  "Cynthia called and told me you had something to show me." the younger man said.

He took the brochure the brunette was holding out to him, a self-satisfied grin on his face.  "The brochure you showed me was completely unacceptable," Brian stated, pleased as he heard the appreciation in Justin's gasp. So, what do you think?"

 "Brian, it's...wonderful. But, how...I mean...I've never seen anything like it." What he saw exceeded anything he could have possibly imagined.

"If you had seen anything like it, then I wouldn't be doing my job, now would I? I've seen your work, and it's alive and it's powerful.  It touches a place deep within you, and as it reaches out towards your soul. Your old brochure didn't say that. So, I fixed that."

"Next, what touches one person isn't necessarily what touches the person next to him, so I fixed that, too. Every single canvas you made available to us is now right here, just waiting to reach the right person...just like the little doggie in the window." Brian laughed, still enjoying himself as he saw the joy on the blonde's face.

" Last, as much as you are the creative genius without whom none of this would be possible, I moved your biography and picture, along with the gallery logo, to the back instead of the inside front cover. When a serious art connoisseur looks at a brochure, the first thing they want to know is ‘what will this collection offer me that is worth handing over my hard earned cash'. Once they have found the one they cannot live without - then they are ready to get to know the one who created it and where they can find it. "

"I can't believe you did this." Justin eyes were still wide open with surprise and delight. "It's perfect." 

He turned the brochure over once more, running his fingers over the single word  PREPARE on the front, and then inside to the rest of the logo...to be touched , along with a hand stretched out, pointer finger extended, seeming to anyone who saw it to be reaching to that secret place deep inside ourselves, so realistic you could almost feel it touch your heart.

Michael poured himself a cup of tea and then sat at the table in the kitchen of his mother's house. He had grown up in this house, it was comfortable and familiar, but he never thought he would be in a position to have to call it home again at this stage in his life.

He tried once again to think back to where and how it had all gone bad. His life was unraveling, everything he had ever wanted was at his fingertips, and now it was all...gone.

He had loved Brian almost from the moment he met him all those years ago. Everyone always laughed at him when he admitted dreaming of growing old with the handsome brunette. No one really took him seriously about anything, not the least of which was spending his golden years rocking side by side on a wrap-around porch attached to a cozy little home the two of them shared.

When Brian had agreed to give it a shot, or at the very least to take what they had...the best friendship anyone could ask for... and bring it to the next level, Michael thought his dreams were all coming true. He tried not to think about the fact that Brian's eyes never glazed over in the throes of passion, that he never saw or heard anything beyond a need for immediate release, no professions of love, no grand gestures of affection.  

While they were together, he had convinced himself that things were as they should be, and now that he could see in the light of day that was not the case, he had no idea what he was going to do.  Apart from the companionship and pleasure that their quasi-relationship offered him, there was also a certain credibility and a definite standard of living that he knew he had no way of replicating on his own. He had never done anything in his life to deserve the kind of respect he got standing beside Brian Kinney, and stocking shelves and running a cash register certainly wasn't going to afford him any of the luxuries he had gotten used to sd Brian Kinney's significant ‘whatever'.

He held his head in his hands, bemoaning his fate, when his cell phone began to play an old Pink Floyd song, "Money", which he recognized as the ringtone he had set for his friend Ted. While they weren't really close in the way that he and Brian were, knowing each other's secrets and sharing a past, he enjoyed Ted's company, and thought that Ted felt much the same.

"Hey, Ted, what's up?" Michael said as he flipped open his phone and hit the call answer button.  - "Oh, I was just checking to see if you and Brian wanted to play a couple of games at Woody's and then head over to Babylon later. It seems like ages since you two have been out of the town."

"Brian and I broke up." He could feel the sharp pain like a knife slicing through his chest, and could barely breathe, as tears welled up in his eyes.  - "Wow, I can't say I ever thought he deserved you, but I hate to hear you hurting like you are. Why don't you come out with me and Em anyway? The last thing you want to do is sit and feel sorry for yourself - that asshole sure won't. Where are you staying anyway?"

"I'm at Ma's house, if you can believe that. A grown man, and here I am living with my mother. Not sure I'd be such good company tonight, Ted. Maybe some other time, huh?"

"Come on, Michael, if that's the way you feel, sitting there being depressed isn't gonna' make things any better. Nothing like a strong drink and the beat of the music to change one's point of view.  At least come out to Woody's for a little bit, even if you don't feel much like dancing tonight. "

"Yeah, I guess you have a point, Ted. I'll meet you guys at Woody's in a little bit."

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

It had been just under a week since Justin had barged into his office and taken what he wanted...what they both wanted...without batting an eyelash, but for the first time in his life Brian found that having fucked the object of his desire into the mattress - repeatedly at that, which was already out of character for the Stud of Liberty Ave -he only wanted the blonde more, if that was possible.  Yet, try as he might, he still had not been able to talk Justin into a repeat of the amazing afternoon (and evening) they had spent giving and taking more pleasure than he could ever remember with any other man.

He let his eyes drop to the charcoal sketch that Justin had given him, a thank you gift in appreciation for the new brochure that Brian had shown him - it really knocked his socks off.  That's not the only thing I'd like to knock off of him, Brian thought.  He couldn't believe how Justin had captured a side of himself that he didn't even know existed. The man looking back at him from the small canvas had his face, his eyes and his smile, but there was something there behind his eyes that he was sure had never been there before.  

Is this really how Justin saw him? He wasn't really sure how he felt about that, couldn't really wrap himself around showing this much of himself to the younger man. Was Justin really aware of the vulnerability he seemed to have drawn there? Was the emotion so obvious to himself in the sketch really there for Justin to see when he looked at him...and if it was...could he handle that?

Even more though, he found himself wondering if Justin was really seeing this soft, sensitive side of himself, then why was he fighting so hard to hold him at arms length? What would it take to convince the man that for the first time he could remember, probably for the first time ever, he was actually hoping to follow his heart and see if maybe they had a chance. Brian wasn't sure if he was capable of loving someone the way he thought Justin deserved to be loved, but God help him, he want to try more than anything he had ever wanted in his life.

What was it that Justin had said? He struggled to think back to their conversation without picturing the young man writhing under him with lust filled eyes only minutes before they talked. Get a grip, Kinney, he thought to himself. How am I gonna' get him to change his mind if even just thinking about him makes me hard and yearning to fuck him until I see that look on his face that he gets right before he comes?'

As suddenly as that thought came to him, he realized what he had to do. "My own parents didn't love me enough to stay," Justin had said. That was it. As lesbionic as it sounded, the way to get Justin to reconsider and let his guard down was not going to be by appealing to his passionate, sensual , sexual nature, even though every fiber of his being wanted nothing more than that. No...the way to persuade Justin not to throw away what they might be able to find with each other was going to be to show him he could trust Brian - with his heart.

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

Cynthia huffed to herself as she called Justin to set up an appointment for the following day.  She had been Brian's assistant long enough to know that there was something more going on here than just a professional meeting. She loved the tall brunette like a brother, and was loyal to him to a fault, but she was more than little miffed by the possibility that her long time friend and boss had actually asked her to call to arrange a date for him and that artist whose account he had been working on.

She wondered to herself if the young man even had any idea what he might be walking into if he accepted the invitation. If her instincts were correct, and she knew Brian better than almost anyone, then even though there were plenty of reasons he might need to consult with Justin that were well within the scope of what could be considered a proper business lunch, the conversation at this meeting would have less to do with the boards that the art department had been ordered to work on ‘until they fuckin' got it right', and much more to do with the fact that the blonde was gorgeous, and sexy...and gay!

Her first clue was the location. Brian often wooed business clients by taking them to high end restaurants in an attempt to impress them, but The Melting Pot was definitely not the kind of place that catered to corporate clientele. She had been trying to get her boyfriend to take her there for weeks, having heard about the mood lighting and fondue for two that was all the rave around the water cooler.

Besides that, she had opened the box that had been delivered just a half hour ago, before placing it on Brian's desk  as soon as she realized that the parcel was from a jeweler and not the office supply house special order that she had been expecting.  The paint brush and palette tie tack that she found when she lifted the lid was beautiful, and extravagant, and so out of character for her boss that it had left her stunned.  Brian never bought gifts for anyone, not even his family. He had always left that task up to her, as annoying as that habit was.

Not to mention Brian had been overbearing, even more so than usual, and irritable, and miserable...she could go on and on, yet ever since he got back from wherever he was yesterday morning (most likely Harris' Fine Jewelry) when he left without telling her where he could be located, he had a determined gleam in his eye that she recognized quite easily, but a softness and gentleness to his demeanor that she did not.

Brian Kinney had a plan, of that she was very, very sure, and she was just as sure that that plan had something to do with Justin Taylor. She smiled to herself as she wondered if it was even remotely possible that her boss, the famous Brian Kinney, had finally met his match. Could ‘the stud of Liberty Ave' actually have gotten turned down by a man barely old enough to be legal? She couldn't imagine anything else that would explain Brian's strange behavior, nor confound and perplex him more.  

She had no idea the changes that had been taking place in her old friend, the silent internal struggle that was slowly forcing him to reveal, to himself at least, that for the first time in his life, he was growing up. He wanted someone to share his life with, someone to come home to, someone to challenge him and...yes...to love him, and that the one he wanted, the one he couldn't get off his mind, was none other than Justin Taylor.

Justin still couldn't get over the way Brian had gathered his works together into the amazing brochure he could not keep from picking up again and again. Brian's talents in advertising were well known, that was why he had chosen him to represent his art portfolio. Yet he could never have expected the man to come up with a showcase for him that not only gave the reader insight into his moods and his emotions the way this one did, but one that actually groups his paintings in a way that one would expect only a person who knows him well would be able to do. How could this man possibly know what he was thinking and feeling as he was creating each piece. It was almost as if Brian could read his mind, although he sincerely hoped that was not the case.

Truth be told, his thoughts had centered around little else but Brian Kinney since he had burst into Brian's office determined to satisfy his hunger for this man once and for all. He had been sure that once he did they would both be able to put the issue behind them and then he could get back to living his life as before without seeing that striking face, that magnificent body, those stunning hazel eyes...

"Ahhhh," he shouted in frustration"... It was obvious it had not worked.

How he wished he could just give in to Brian's advances - it was obvious the man wanted more just as much as he did, if his persistence was any indication. Still, Justin knew that he just couldn't take the chance. Not being with Brian was killing him, but letting his guard down and opening up his heart and then finding Brian with some trick, or just finding that it was all about the sex and that Brian could never love him, no that was something he knew he could not endure. Why start something he knew had no chance of success?

He wondered to himself once again what Brian wanted to meet with him about.  Cynthia's instructions had been rather strange, he thought. Brian wanted him to attend a meeting of some sort, yet she couldn't give him any details. She said he should wear something casual yet fashionable, leaving him to think jeans and a pull over would not suit the situation, yet he had no idea why he felt that way. Strangest of all was that rather than give Justin the address so that he could meet Brian at the meeting place, he was told that Brian would pick him up himself, and would not take no for an answer.  Just what was Mr. Kinney up to?

He had no more time to think about it, as the bell above the door rang, signally that someone had entered the gallery. He had insisted that Brian pick him up here rather than at his apartment, unsure if he would have the will power to resist the sexy, mouthwateringly attractive brunette if he was left completely alone with him. He braced himself for the arguments Brian would no doubt continue to barrage him with, knowing that he had to somehow maintain his position that nothing more could  happen between them beyond  their work to promote and market his collection. He had to keep his mind on business, no matter what the other man did to distract him.

Looking up, he found that all that went right out the window as soon as he laid eyes on the devastatingly handsome man who had entered his domain.  Brian was a vision in Armani, with charcoal grey slacks, and a button down shirt with matching tie in the exact same hue of speckled green that he could remember seeing on his face the moment he felt him lose control and heard him cry out his name as his orgasm overcame him in the heat of passion. The thought went directly to his cock, and left his mouth so dry that he was almost unable to speak.

"Bri...what is all this?" He managed to utter, as he pulled Brian to the side, automatically reaching out to grasp what the brunette was handing him. He looked down and saw that within the tissue paper he now held was a trio of the most beautiful gardenias that he had ever seen. Had he told Brian this was his favorite flower, he thought to himself, as he closed his eyes to enjoy the unique fragrance that was now delighting his senses.

Opening eyes, he noticed a small box nestled within the bouquet, and allowed his eyes to meet those that were looking back at him so intently, his brow lifted slightly in question. "Go ahead and open it, Sunshine," Brian said, his lips pulled under in that adorable way he had when he was being coy. Justin felt his cheeks flush at the term of endearment, and wondered to himself how he had come to be able to distinguish the different faces of this gorgeous man before him in the short time they had spent together. It was as if he had known him all his life, and not just the few weeks since they had first met in this very place where he now stood.

"This is all a little unusual for a business meeting, don't you think?" Justin almost whispered, still unable to completely find his voice.

"Who said anything about a business dinner?" Brian asked as he stepped forward and gathered Justin in his arms. He stared into Justin's eyes intently, closing the gap between them so slowly that Justin was caught completely off guard as their lips met. Brian's hand went behind the younger man's head and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss that turned more and more passionate, leaving both men gasping and needing to come up for air, only to be drawn back once again, unable to get enough of each other.

Justin pulled back abruptly, unable to believe that he had so easily succumbed to Brian's admittedly toe curling kiss, completely upending his resolve to resist this man at all costs. "Open the box, Justin." Brian repeated, his voice so tender and his expression so soft that Justin could barely think.

He pulled off the lid and saw the exquisite gift, unable to believe his eyes. He had never seen anything like it, nor had anyone ever given him a gift so perfect for him.  "I don't understand, Brian. This is more than I can wrap myself around. I don't understand what it is that you want from me? First the brochure, which exceeded even my wildest expectations, and now this?"

"Justin," Brian began. "The brochure came naturally. I'm an ad-man, not an agent, but I know what I like, and I know talent when I see it. You are amazing! Every picture comes alive and tells a story in a way I have never seen before. Brian took a breath, gathering his courage before continuing.

"That sketch you made of me, Justin, it just blew me away! Is that how you really see me? Do you really see inside of me that way when you look into my eyes? If it is then you know deep down that something amazing is happening here. I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone before in my life, and yes, I want nothing more than to sink myself into you again and again, and never let you go."

"It's more than that, though. I've never felt this way with any man before, and can hardly believe it myself. I want to know everything there is to know about you. I want things I have never been aware I would ever contemplate. This gift can't even begin to show how much of an impact you have made on me. I'm not an artist, but I wanted to give you something that could even come close to the amazing gift you gave me with that sketch."

"No matter what you decide,  I don't think that my life will ever be quite the same. You have opened up something inside of me that I barely knew existed. Come out with me, Justin...please don't say no. It's just dinner, what could it hurt? There will be a room full of people so  I'll have to behave." Brian finished, tongue in cheek, with what Justin thought may have been the most adorable look on his face that he had ever seen.  

"Just dinner, huh? " Justin's lips pulled up into that smile that warmed Brian's heart at the same time as it caused his cock to twitch in the confines of his pants. "I have a feeling that with you, nothing will ever be as simple as it seems."

"Table for two for Kinney", Brian stated in the no nonsense tone Justin found that he used with everyone but him. He was still trying to sort through everything that Brian had said to him, and now with this realization allowed himself to wonder for the first time if it could possibly be true. Could Brian really be feeling more than just sexual desire? Was it even remotely possible that he could have with this man all the things he had yearned for as long as he could remember?

"Right this way, Mr. Kinney," the host at the door replied. The man leading them was kind of hot, and Justin found himself watching Brian to see for himself if the brunette was checking out the goods in front of him, surprised to find that for the moment at least, Brian seemed to only have eyes for him. ‘Get a grip, Taylor', Justin said to himself. ‘Just because he can manage to not hunt for his next trick on your very first date, that doesn't mean you won't have to always be watching over your shoulder, sure that you will never be enough to satisfy the stud of Liberty Ave.'

Justin unwittingly let out a sigh, as the host stopped at a remote corner table, bathed in low light and perfect for a private dinner, even among a room full of other patrons.

"Is something wrong?", Brian swiftly asked him. "I can get them to give us another table if you don't like this one."

"No, Brian, this is amazing," having no intention of letting the man in on the thoughts that were going through his mind. "I can't believe that you planned this whole thing, not even knowing if I would say yes."  Brian looked quickly down, unable to make eye contact while he once again poured his heart out to the young man standing before him.

As they slipped into the chairs the host held out for them, one at a time, Brian continued, "Look, Sunshine, I have never done anything like this before, and if anyone I knew could see me right now, they would never believe it.  This is the most ridiculously romantic thing I have ever even thought about doing, and I have never wanted anything more. " He allowed his gaze to shift up to look Justin directly eye to eye.

Reaching out to take the younger man's hand in his, he seemed once again to be able to read Justin's mind as he almost whispered, "I know that I have quite a promiscuous reputation to overcome, and I can't sit here and make you any promises that I will never fuck up. This is all knew to me. All I'm asking, Justin, is that you give me a chance, give us a chance. I think we will both regret it if we don't give this thing between us a try."

One hour later

Brian was absentmindedly holding Justin's hand once again. It seemed like he couldn't resist touching the beguiling man sitting across the table from him. They had settled into conversation as they ate, and lost all track of time. Brian told the artist some things about himself, and had listened attentively as Justin shared more about his life.

Brian even told Justin how he had seen gardenias in more than a few of the paintings in his collection, leading him to believe that this particular flower might have been his favorite. When he heard this, Justin smiled his kilowatt smile, and Brian caressed his palm with his thumb, delighting in knowing that he was the one who had caused that reaction in this man he could not seem to learn enough about.

He wondered briefly if it was wise to show his hand the way he was. He had never left himself so open and vulnerable to any other person before, knowing if you allow yourself to love, then you open yourself up to being hurt as well. His parents had taught him that, but that was a subject he talked about with no one, not even Mikey, who had been there for him through most of it. No reason to start now, the past was the past. No good could come from re-visiting that dark time in his life.

Of course, no one had ever made him feel what he was feeling right now, either. He never really thought it was possible to feel as comfortable as he did talking with Justin. It was almost like he had known him all his life, and an emptiness had been filled that he never really knew was there. He felt a peace settle over him, and even though time was passing so quickly, he found that he didn't want the night to end.

"Well, well. Didn't take you long to move on did it? Mikey's side of the bed is not even cool yet, and you are on to the next conquest. " Brian's head snapped up to see Ted, glaring and angry, standing at the side of their table. He and his date had just left the opera, and just happened to stop at the Melting Pot to see if they had a table open so they could discuss the show they had just seen.

"You have no idea what you've lost, do you? How could you hurt him like that? Do you have any idea how wonderful he is?"

"Why, Teddy my boy," Brian responded sarcastically, unable to contain his anger at having his own date interrupted this way, "if I didn't know better, I might think that despite present company, you might have a teeny tiny crush on little Mikey yourself." Ted's face turned crimson as the flush overcame him, but he did nothing to deny Brian's words. As his date stormed off, throwing his hands in the air in frustration, Ted ran after him, calling out to him, "wait, it's not what it sounded like. Come on, wait up."

"Well, that was uncomfortable," Justin said as Brian's gaze returned to set on the younger man. "I think it's time we called it a night, don't you?"

Brian called the waiter over, handing him his credit card and signing the slip he had left them, adding a very generous tip. Ending this night was the last thing that he wanted, but he could see that Justin was anxious to leave, and didn't want to do or say anything to further ruin the wonderful evening they had spent together.

BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ

As they drove away in silence, Brian looked over at Justin, wondering what was going on in the other man's head. "Justin, will you come back to my loft and let me explain?"

‘What's the point, Brian? I almost made a big mistake, but luckily I found out before it was too late. It's rather obvious that nothing you have said is sincere. I can't believe you would actually lie to me to get your way. You had me believing all that stuff about never considering a relationship before me. It was flattering, I have to admit, and I let myself want it enough to let my guard down. Just...please just take me back to the gallery."

"Not until you hear me out. I know it seems like I lied, but one thing I can promise you, Justin, is that I will never lie to you."

"I think that ship has sailed, don't you? It's bad enough that you are willing to say anything to sway things in your favor, but how can you think I am gullible enough to continue to believe you when I heard the truth with my own ears?  ... I've never done this before, Sunshine. ..this is all new to me...isn't that what you said? Well, I wonder what this Mikey, I just heard about would have to say about that, Mr. Kinney..."

Justin had to stop himself before the tears that were threatening to spill over became obvious to the man before him. He had made enough of a fool of himself, could hear the shaking and emotion in his own voice, but he was not about to let Brian see him cry. He found himself almost hating this person he had never met, this man with whom until recently, Brian had apparently been sharing his bed and his life.  

"Listen to me, Justin, are you listening?" Brian grimaced as he saw the scowl appear on Justin's face. "I know what it sounds like, but I need you to hear me out. I am not taking you anywhere until you give me a chance to clear up what you just heard. I am taking you back to my loft, and after you hear everything I have to say, if you still want to leave, I will take you home."

Justin turned his head away from Brian, staring out the window, crossing his arms in front of him in surrender. He would endure whatever he had to until this night was over, and then he would make sure that he and Brian kept their distance from each other from this point on.

From the driver's seat, Brian could feel the anger... and confusion...and heartbreak...everything he knew that the young man sitting next to him was feeling. His gut ached as if he were feeling all of Justin's emotions himself. How could he explain the history he had with Mikey?  What would it take to make the blonde understand? Just how far was he willing to go?

Could he open up and tell Justin about his childhood with its pain and the fear? Could he share that part of himself that he had kept buried inside for so long? Could he survive splaying himself open like that, acknowledging and reliving the ghosts of the past, in order to prove to this man he wanted so badly that he had not deceived him?

As they enter the loft, Justin can't help but be impressed with the place the brunette calls home. For an artist, how a person decorates a room says a lot about who they are, and the clean lines and minimalist décor that he saw as he looked around told the blonde that Brian likes things simple, no clutter, no muss. He had already witnessed Brian's no nonsense attitude, but became aware that this viewpoint seemed to carry through into every area of his life.

He also noticed that Brian has very expensive tastes. It was obvious that everything was top of the line, from the furniture, through to the artwork, right down to the kitchen appliances. It appeared that this man was used to only the best, and surely was accustomed to getting his way. ‘Sorry to disappoint you Mr Kinney', the blonde thought to himself. ‘You may feel like you're calling all the shots here, but as soon as you have your say, I am out of here no matter what you want.'

"Can I take your coat?" Brian asked him, as he took it off and laid it over his arm. "No, thanks" he responded. "This won't take long enough for that to be necessary." Justin hated being so abrupt, his country club upbringing often left him reacting to people with more manners than was called for, but he knew that he couldn't afford to let his guard down with this man at all. Knowing what he had to do didn't change the fact that he had never been more attracted to any man before in his life, and he was well aware that it would be embarrassingly easy for the handsome man to turn temptation to his favor.

Brian had walked up the few stairs to his raised bedroom, taking off his coat, and slipping off his shoes, pushing open the floor to ceiling room panels that divided the room from the main living area so that he could maintain eye contact with the petite blonde. He didn't know how to start, or where he was going to pull the strength from to open up the wounds he knew he would have to reveal in order to make Justin believe him.

He watched as Justin took a seat on the stool next to the kitchen island, averting his gaze so obviously that Brian could actually feel the loss of contact. "Justin," he began as he walked back into the main living area, startling the younger man.

Justin's eyes darted to meet his own and just as quickly shifted back to the wall in front of him. "Justin," Brian repeated, " I know that you believe that I lied to you. " He heard the blonde let out a huff as he continued.  "Mikey...Michael...is my best friend...has been my best friend since we were 14, and while I love him, and always will, I am not in love with him. We are not, and have never really been in the type of relationship that you are thinking we had."

"I think it's quite obvious that we have much different opinions about what a relationship is Mr. Kinney, Justin observed. "So, why don't you just start with telling me what the two of you are...instead of what you are not."

"Ok," Brian answered, swiping his hand through his hair as he did when he was distressed. He gazed for a few moments into the blue eyes that had so quickly become an oasis for him. He could imagine himself falling under the spell of those gorgeous blue orbs for years to come, and he wasn't sure if he was more afraid of that, or trying to live his life without it.

The brunette took a few steps toward the young man who was causing so many conflicting emotions to rage through his body, and felt his heart lurch as the blonde quickly moved out of his seat and around to the other side of the kitchen island.

"Justin, even though I know that I have a lot to explain, I can't believe that you could possibly be afraid of me. I can't take it if you are." The older man said.

"To be honest, Brian, what scares me the most is how you make me feel, and how little control I seem to have when it comes to resisting you. You know that I made up my mind a long time ago to never let myself be put in a position again where I could care enough about someone to let them remind me that love can't be trusted. I thought the pain my parents caused me when I came out was the worst thing that I could ever feel...until tonight."

"You have to believe me, the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you. Please sit down and let me start at the beginning." Justin found himself walking back to the stool to sit down, unable to squelch his curiosity about what Brian would have to say. There was something in the brunette's eyes that he couldn't quite put his finger on, other than just pure raw sex he saw there whenever he allowed himself to get lost in them.  "Mikey and I are not a couple, Justin. You have to believe me."

"Does he know that, or is he just another casualty of the ‘I want what I want when I want it' Kinney attitude'?"

"Ju...Just...shit." Brian once again absentmindedly ran his fingers through his dark locks. He only stuttered when he was very uncomfortable, something that he avoided at all costs. This was going to be even harder than he thought. " I tried, I actually tried to be what Mikey needed - what he always wanted. I just never could. He deserved that, hell, he deserves more than I could ever hope to give him."

"I met Mikey at school, when a bully was taking his best shot at him, and I wasn't having any of it. I pretty much pommeled the guy, and it ended with his hand slammed in my locker and a few of his bones broken. "

"Two days later, I was running down the street, trying to get away from my old man, who was drunk again and ready to spend a little sparring time with his favorite punching bag...me. Mikey was riding his bike, and told me to hop on. He took me home to his Mom, who took care of my wounds, but more importantly, showed me the first real love and compassion that I had ever known."

‘After that, every time Jack would go on one of his rampages,  and mom would stand by and watch it all with a bottle of booze in one hand and a Bible in the other, it was Mikey and his family that I ran to for shelter. They were the ones who took me to the hospital the few times it got really bad, and they were the ones who always had an extra bed made when I couldn't take it anymore. "

If it wasn't for them, I might not be standing here Justin. They saved my life time and time again, not just physically, but...hell, I don't know how I would have gotten though it without them. So you see, Sunshine, I know first hand all about how painful love can be."

Justin could hear the emotion in Brian's words, hear the pain he was forcing himself to relive. He could see in Brian's eyes that telling him this was almost as hard as what he had endured as a child.

"So when Mikey asked me to give it a shot between us, that no one would ever love me like he did, I felt like I owed it to him to try. And I really did my best to make it work, Justin, I did. "

"What he did make me realize though, is that I like the idea of having someone to come home to at the end of the day, someone to share my life with. When I let myself think about that however, just close my eyes and imagine how it could be, it was never him I pictured waiting for me."

"I never made him any promises to him, and I never lied to him and told him I was feeling anything more than what I just told you. I trust him with my life, he is my family, and he always will be, but I have never been in love with him. That's what I said when I told him that part of our lives is over.  He didn't seem surprised, and we both agreed that trying to make it into something it would never be was not to either of our advantage. "

"Can't you see, I want him to find someone who can love him the way he deserves to be loved, and and..." sheepishly, eyes cast downward, "I want that for myself as well."

"Before I met you, I never thought I was worth loving. My folks sure told me often enough that I wasn't. Marriage was something people endured, and love was something people pretended so they could get laid. I still don't believe I am worth much, but I do know what I want"

"I don't know how to explain what I feel, Justin. I can't explain it, I can't define it, fuck, I've never felt anything like it before in my life.  I love you Justin, and I need nothing more than for you to believe me."  A single tear rolled down his face, as Brian struggled to maintain his composure. He had torn down every wall he had carefully built up through the years, and it was leaving him feeling more exposed than he had ever felt in his life.

He reached out to tenderly cup Justin's face in his hand, running his thumb over the younger man's lips. As he leaned in to gently kiss those lips along the trail his thumb had made, Justin initially put his hands on Brian's chest to push him away, however as soon he touched the man who made his knees weak and his heart pound,  all was lost as he gave in to the passion pouring out between them.

He ripped Brian's shirt off without even taking the time to open the buttons, as he kissed away the tears he couldn't bear to see. His hands moved down to graze across Brian's already hardened cock, causing the brunette to gasp into their kiss as he took no time at all with either  the belt or the zipper. His need to release the aroused member was too powerful to stop. He licked a trail down Brian's chest, pausing  to tease his already sensitive nipples on his way down to claim his prize.

Brian hissed and cried out as Justin took his cock fully into his mouth in one move, reveling in the sensations as the tip of his manhood hit the back of Justin's throat. "Ah, God... Justin...fuck," he moaned as his head flew back and he struggled to hold himself upright. "Bed...now...please...can't wait another minute."

By the time Justin lay back on the mattress and scooted up to watch his lover crawl cat like towards him, both men were completely naked and unable to form any coherent thoughts. Their need was so great that their arms and tongues seemed like they were everywhere at once.

Brian barely had time to grab a condom and prepare his sweet little ass before he heard Justin pant, ‘now Brian, please, can't wait, just do it...I need to feel you inside me...ahhhh, fuck!" Justin's screams went straight to Brian's cock, and it took all the control he could muster not to come just from the sound of it.

The next morning...

Justin woke up next to Brian with no idea what to do with all that he was feeling. What on earth was wrong with him? How could he compromise everything he held dear for just another night of passion?

He could still feel Brian inside of him, and he realized that he would love nothing more than to feel that every single morning for the rest of his life. This man had broken down walls that he had carefully erected to protect himself, and he didn't know how he was going to rebuild them.

He knew though that he wanted the whole package. A one night stand - even two - sure, he was ok with that. However, he was not ok being Brian's fuck buddy, and despite what Brian has said last night, he was sure that the famous Stud of Liberty Ave was not going to be willing to give him any more than that. He was surprised at the twinge of pain that caused him, realizing with a start that despite his efforts, Brian Kinney had gotten into his heart, the one place no one had penetrated before.  

As the other man opened his eyes and smiled over at him, he told him all that was on his mind.

"Justin," Brian replied. "I love you more every time we are together."  He wanted nothing more than to take the blonde again, but mercifully realized quickly that he had to find a way to let this amazing man know that it was so much more than that.  

He knew he could not risk letting Justin think it was all  just about the sex, but...how could he do it? Could he spend more than a few minutes lying here next to him, smelling not only his unique scent but the remnant of their night of lovemaking, and not show him how much he wanted only to be back inside him?

Justin misunderstood the conflict in Brian's eyes as the older man paused to ponder if he could really take a chance that this beautiful man in his bed could love him, could commit to him.

"I don't want to be a contest you win, Brian. The one who challenged you, fun for a while, but then so easily thrown away when you get bored and move on.  I may seem brave and confident to you, but I don't  have the kind of courage it takes to take a chance on love. I choose. That's what I do. I choose when to fuck, who to fuck, and when to walk away. That's how I maintain control. If I give my heart away to you, I lose my balance, and I may never get it back."

Brian placed his hand so gently under Justin's chin and lifted his head until their eyes met. "First of all, you little twat," Brian smiled, " you have ruined me for any other man. Why would I want to fuck anyone else after you? No one could compare.  

"Prepare to be touched," Brian said sweetly, using a line from the brochure as he looked down at his lover tongue in cheek.  Moments later both men were coming up for air, realizing not only that neither one was going to be on time for work today, but that  everything had changed, and their lives would never be the same. "I choose you!" Justin whispered into Brian's ear, and both men smiled.