"If you ask me, it wasn't worth it. You might as well have left him lying there..."

Brian's body responded almost with a will of its own. There was no time to put any rational thought into it. His tightly clenched fist connected with the face of the man who had been his best friend since they were 14, and nothing on this earth could have stopped it.

If only Mike had just shut the fuck up. Why did he have to keep saying those awful things about Justin? Was he really oblivious to how much pain those words would cause Brian? Had he not sat with him throughout the hours and days after Justin was bashed while Brian sat devastated, waiting to see if the fates might smile on them all and the young  twink currently fighting for his life, the one who had somehow slipped through all his defenses, might somehow pull through?

His head was spinning as his brain acknowledged all the outraged responses surrounding him.

"Shit Brian, what the fuck..."

"Fucking animal hit my kid."

Then, from Justin, "Brian, why the fuck did you just hit Michael?"

And last, and possibly the hardest one to handle at the time..."Justin, don't fucking go running after him. Doesn't this show you that he's not worth it? Let's just go home." It was this last comment from Ethan that sent him over the top."

"Here's one for you..." Brian screamed above all the voices, the adrenaline in his body making his face contort in a way that would have appalled him had he been aware, "What the fuck is wrong with all of you? Did no one hear what he said? Go on Michael, tell them all what I just heard. See if they still want to hold your hand and tell you how wrong it was for me to want nothing more than to knock your fucking lights out."

Michael lay silently on the ground, his head being cradled in Debbie's lap, while she continued to look at Brian like she thought he was nothing short of a monster.

"What's the matter Mikey? Huh? Not so brave now that our loving family might hear the shit that just came out of your mouth. Maybe they won't be so quick to say - ‘aww poor wil Mikey ‘- what did big bad Brian do to him now, huh? Go ahead, Ma,' Brian said to Debbie  with a sarcastic venom in his tone that she had never heard him direct at her before, despite the intense moments they had shared throughout the years, "ask your perfect son what he just said to me."

Debbie stared at Brian, and then looked down at Michael, still vigorously rubbing his cheek and obstinately holding his tongue. "Come on, baby, tell us all what you said so we can kick this asshole out on his ass and get you some ice for your face before it swells."

Still Michael said nothing, even as he watched his lover Ben making a beeline for Brian in what he was sure would be a retaliatory blow for his friend should he manage to reach him. He couldn't bring himself to echo what he had said. He doubted that most of the people in the group surrounding him would blame him once they found out what he had said to Brian, after all , he was just trying to be supportive. Still, he could not repeat it with Justin standing there looking him right in the eye.

"He's not going to talk Brian, so why don't you just stop with the fucking drama and tell us all what Michael said that you thought was so awful it would justify your unacceptable behavior, ok? He really needs to get someone to look at that eye before it is too swollen for them to make sure there is no damage" Justin said compassionately. He wasn't sure if he felt more sorry for Michael or Brian at the moment.

"You, too, with the bleeding heart, Sunshine?  I wonder if any of you will still feel that way once you know that our pal Michael over there was just telling me that I should have left Justin lying there bleeding the night of the prom. Huh? Anyone feeling particularly sympathetic now? I need to get the fuck out of here. After all, isn't leaving the easy way out when things go wrong?" Brian's voice choked as he bit back a sob, brushing off the hand that Justin had placed so gently on his arm. He was sure that if he didn't get the fuck out of there right this minute he would make an even bigger fool of himself than he had already done.

Justin froze, tears pooling in his eyes at the same time as a collective gasp arose all around him, and he watched unable to move as Brian turned on his heel and simply walked away, leaving his Corvette parked in the driveway.

For the first time in her life, Debbie was ashamed of her beloved son. With tears running down her face, she slapped Michael on the back of the head, and then simply rose to her feet and walked toward the house.

Everyone else now scattered, not having any idea what to say to Justin, and suddenly having no interest in consoling Michael. Even Ben couldn't look his boyfriend in the eye, and just walked inside to make sure Debbie was ok.

"I had no idea that you hated me that much, Michael." Justin's tears were now making a trail down his face as well. "I'll make arrangements to sell you my share of Rage if you want it, if not..." Justin found that suddenly he just didn't care anymore.

Michael had gotten to his feet, and took one step closer to Justin, then thought the better of it. "Justin, it's not like that. I was just trying to be a supportive friend, knowing how humiliated he was when you left him standing there at the party. I just don't understand how you could come here with...him...after all you've done? "

" Get the fuck away from me, Michael. I can't even stand to look at you right now. I don't have to answer to you, that's between me and Brian, but to know you could even say he would be better off if I had died that night... " He felt Ethan's arms wrap around him from behind, and suddenly couldn't tolerate his touch either. He wiggled out of the embrace and started to walk away in the direction he had seen Brian go just minutes before.

Ethan followed after him, calling out his name, with no response. Quickly narrowing the gap between them, he grabbed the blonde firmly by the shoulder and spun him around. "Justin, where are you going? You can't seriously expect me to believe that you are going after him? If you do this, Justin, we're through."

"Ethan, we were through before we began. I love you, and I know you love me. But let's not fool ourselves. Neither of us is truly in love with the other, and while I don't want to hurt you, I just can't bear the thought of sacrificing what I have with Brian for even one more day, that is if he will take me back."

"Take you back? You can't be serious, Justin. Why would you even consider it? He'll never be what you need! You need I love yous and picnics on the floor and flowers..." he stopped, grabbing onto Justin's hand and holding it up, and commitment."  

"No, Ethan, I thought I needed all those things. Turns out I was wrong. Oh, I appreciate you being willing to give me those things, but what I really need is to be there to dry his tears, even when he doesn't want me to. I need to be held by him when no one else on earth knows that I am having a nightmare on panic attack, and he does and knows exactly what I need to get me through it. And what I need is that feeling that I get when I am near him, the one that takes my breath away, and makes my heart beat so strongly in my chest that I can actually feel it in my toes. Those are the things that I need. I lost sight of that for a while, but today he made me remember. "

"No one in my life has ever stood up for me the way he did today. He was willing to give up all that was most important to him, his friendship with Mikey, his family, even his reputation as a cold, unfeeling asshole." Justin smiled. "No, no one has ever done anything like that for me. Not my father, not my friends, not even you when they asked you to pretend I was your cousin. He has been doing that as long as I can remember, I just didn't see it until today. He is the only person in my world who puts me first, and it's time that I did the same for him."

Ethan looked at Justin with a sudden sad awareness in his eyes. He knew that he had lost, and there was no more point to argue. "I wanted to be what you needed, Justin. I guess even more, it was great for my ego to have what the famous Brian Kinney had and lost. I just never realized until today that the one thing I would never have is your heart. It will always belong to him, won't it?"

"Yes, now all I have to do is convince him that he fucking deserves it. Not only that, but that it doesn't make him any less ‘who he is' to accept that I love him, and to admit that he loves me in return. At least now I know that I will move heaven and earth to do just that. Somehow what happened today has given me back the determination and Brian-intuition that I lost after the bashing. Nothing can stop me now. " He gave Ethan an affectionate yet innocent hug, and a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for being so understanding.  We'll be by to pick up my things some time this week."       

Justin walked away with a renewed confidence, and a lightness in his step that he hadn't had for longer than he could remember. He knew exactly where he would find Brian.  There was a deli down the street, and a Starbucks just beyond that, two places they both loved to go to grab a quick bite to eat. The lot in between them had a small garden with a walking path going through it. At the upper curve was a little bench where Justin and Brian would sit while they waited for their order on days where the weather allowed. It was also where Justin would find Brian when he had something on his mind and just needed time alone to think. While he would never admit it, Justin knew that the bench held a special hold for Brian - it was ‘their place' - and that is where he would find him today.

He walked towards the park, deep in thought. The weather was beautiful. The sun was shining brightly, the temperature warm yet not uncomfortably hot. It would have been a perfect day for Mel and Linds to celebrate the anniversary of the day they got together, and he briefly thought how sad it was that their day had been ruined. Still, he couldn't focus on that. He had much more important things to consider.

He found Brian exactly where he thought he would, and walked up and sat down by the brunette's side. Brian looked over at him, eyebrow raised, and with absolutely no emotion in his voice, said, "what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend? He might not understand."

"Oh, he understands perfectly, and so do I. We talked it over and agreed that the heart must have what the heart wants."

"No idea what the fuck you are talking about, but that's nothing new." Brian's eyes remained downturned with sadness. "I wasn't going to go to the muncher's little soiree at all. Should have stuck to it. Guess I won't be invited to any parties by any of the family for quite some time, if ever. Fuck. All this self pity will make my dick soft. Gotta' go Sunshine. "

Brian got up and took a step to leave, but Justin reached and entwined their hands together, causing Brian to stop and turn around in annoyance.

"Justin, what the fuck do you want from me? I can't do this right now." He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying his best to keep his emotions in check. It wouldn't do to let his guard down and allow Justin to see how much he was hurting. "Tomorrow we can pretend to be friends again, and you can tell me all about your little reunification with the fiddler, and I can pretend that I fucking want to hear it, but right now I have to go. I'm sure we both have better things to do than to sit here and rehash this absolutely fucking marvelous day. "

"Brian," Justin said patiently, but firmly. "Listen to me, are you listening?" Brian looked into his eyes and couldn't help himself as grinned that adorable little tongue in cheek smile he got when he was sincerely amused. " You didn't let me finish. Ethan and I talked, and he now knows that my heart is the one thing that he can never have. We broke up."

"As fascinating as I know you think I should find your little lovers's quarrel...wait...what did you say? I thought that Ian was everything that you always wanted. He even gave you matching rings to prove it." He picked up Justin's hand and dropped it just as quickly, as if it was on fire. "Where's the ring Justin? "

"That's what I've been trying to tell you. I gave him the ring back. I will always love him, the way you will always love...well you know. " Justin found himself unable to even say the other man's name at the moment.

Seeing the pain briefly flit across Brian's face, he quickly moved on. "Brian, this is mostly my fault, or at least I am responsible for what led to it.  You see, after the bashing, I lost my ability to read you. I forgot that you show how you feel by the things you do. I thought I had to hear the words in order to know you love me. Then when you bought me that fucking hooker for my birthday, I was hurt.  I let myself believe that I could be happy without you. And I believed you when you said you would be quite alright without me. You always told me that we were free to fuck whoever we wanted, then, at the Rage party, you looked like you were having quite a great time fucking your alter-ego. I thought it was a message to me that you wouldn't even miss having me in your bed as long as you got your needs  met elsewhere. "

"Now, I know that was exactly what you wanted me to think, so that I would go, even if that wasn't what you wanted. You thought you were holding me back. "      

Brian blurted out what was running through his head, before the filter in his brain could catch up with his mouth.  He was more than a trick Justin, you snuck around behind my back,  lying about where you were going. You kept going back for more, and I needed to know if you would leave."                    

Justin had guessed this to be true, yet he was still startled to hear Brian say it. "So you fucked that guy just to get me to leave?"

"Worked like a charm. You couldn't wait to try out your other options, and that's where you should be now. Once you find what you want Justin, you should never look back." Brian angrily responded. Fuck, he didn't know if he had the strength to send the blonde to the fiddler a second time.

"You're right Brian - I was so selfish, and was only thinking of myself. I thought Ethan could give me what I needed, and it never even occurred to me how any of this might make you feel. On top of that I was wrong about what I needed. He stood up and pulled Brian into a tight embrace. This is what I need Brian. I don't needs words, or showy gifts, or even monogamy. I don't need anything except this feeling of being safe in your arms. No one has ever given me what you do. You are willing to sacrifice anything if it means giving me what you think I need. The truth is, you are all I need.  You complete me, and I will never be whole without you."

"That's bullshit, Justin. Romantic bullshit better left to the breeders who convince themselves they need someone to complete them, it's a load of crap. I told you that when we met, and you proved  I was right  when you left. I don't need you, you don't need me, fucking is fun no matter who is doing who, and life goes on. "

"No, Brian. You were wrong. I made a mistake. I won't do it again, because you are more important than anything to me. We belong together, and no matter how long it takes, I am going to show you that is true. In fact, I believe that you already know it is true. No one you have ever been with makes you feel the way I do. Admit it. If not to me, then at least admit it to yourself. " Justin turned Brian so that he couldn't be seen from the street, and reached down and cupped his hand around Brian's cock and balls, finding the other man already hard, much to his delight. "Tell me, Brian. Tell me that anyone else has ever made you feel like you do when I touch you."

"All that proves is that your hot, and still have the best ass I have ever seen, and any fag worth his Babylon card would get hard thinking about sinking his dick into it. Add to that the fact that I already know how it feels to be with you, and of course I am going to react. You are just as hard as I am right now, yet you could get off just as easily with the fiddlers stick up your ass as you could when I fuck you. "

"Wrong again, Mr. Kinney. No one but you has ever had the pleasure." Justin smiled when he saw the shocked look on Brian's face. "That's right. Even when we thought we were right for each other, I would never let him top me. That's really the only thing Ethan and I ever fought about. Guess it didn't sit right with him to know that he could never have that part of me when you had. Guess we both should have realized from the start that meant more than just my ass. Even when we weren't together, it seemed like cheating, and I just couldn't do it. "

Justin pulled Brian into a kiss that very quickly became intense and so full of lust and need that neither knew if they would ever be able to breath again. Brian pulled away first, and looking into the blue eyes of the man who held his heart every bit as much as Justin spoke about, said, "You have no idea how thrilled I am to hear that Justin. Your ass is mine...And if you ever tell a soul I said that I will turn you into a soprano for life. And while you are under a sworn oath of secrecy, let me also tell you that I missed you...God how I missed this...missed us."

Justin gazed into the hazel eyes that held his very soul, and smiled so big that Brian thought he might come in his pants with absolutely no stimulation just looking at it. "Take me home, Brian."

"Home, Sunshine. And just where it that?"

"Wherever you are , Brian. For the rest of our lives, wherever you are will be home."

The two men turned and walked hand in hand, matching smiles on their faces, matching warmth in their hearts, and matching joy in their souls. Yes, the weather was fine, and it truly had turned out to be a glorious summer day.