Evan arrived at work an hour later than usual, but he had a good excuse. He'd been across the street where Brian had found office space. Evan had given him some of his old contacts of talented people he'd worked with, because he knew Brian would want the best team.

Timmy was pacing in his office when Evan opened the door. He hung his coat, before going to his assistant.

"Why so agitated?"

Timmy started talking about three of his clients at the same time, mixing facts, at how anxious he was after the call he got.

"Slow the fuck down. Sit down. Drink some water." Evan pushed the kid on the sofa, before handing him a bottle of water. "Now start over."

"Okay." Timmy took a shaky breath. "Mr. Hanson called very upset about the way his commercial turned out."

"Shit. He said he liked it," Evan grunted.

"Well...not anymore. Anyway, then I saw an e-mail I might have missed last Friday…" He said in a small voice. "I'm sorry, but you know how hectic it was here on Friday."

"Go on." Evan slumped in his seat behind the desk, preparing for the worst.

"Do you remember applying with that rushed storyboard for the Apple account?"

Evan looked up, his mouth dropping. "No way! They answered back! And you didn't see it on time! Give me a good reason not to fire you, Preston!"

"They want a video chat with you at eleven. In thirty minutes," Timmy whispered, glancing at the clock.

"Video call! We talked about this. I don't do video chats. I don't know how you paid for your college, but video chats are degrading."

Timmy flushed, realizing his mistake. "Video call, yes. Sorry, sir. I mean Mr. Steele."

Evan knuckled his forehead. At least Timmy was dedicated and learned from his mistakes, most of the time.

"Anything they mentioned in that e-mail? Nevermind. Forward it to me and mark it with high priority. Also call Taz and tell him to get his ass in my office. Pronto."

Timmy nodded frantically.

"Are you gone?" Evan barked, seeing the kid still sitting on the sofa. "Is there more?" He added, seeing Timmy's knee bouncing.

"We have a few e-mails from former employees, especially one I know you kicked out of here quite literally."

Evan was surprised everyone had answered him, after asking them if they were interested in a job.

"Forward all these to me as well. I'll look over them after I get Apple, which I should talk with in twenty-five minutes now. So what do you have to do?" Evan checked, to make sure the spaz remembered his requests.

Timmy stood, chewing on his lip. "Forward Apple's e-mail to you and mark it with high priority. Call Taz to your office. And...should I arrange the conference room for your video ch...call? And then forward all these odd e-mails to you."

Evan beamed. "Good. Chop-chop."

Timmy scurried out of his office, leaving Evan to stare after him and ask himself what was in his head when he'd hired Timmy. He was a fresh out of college business graduate, not knowing where to start looking for a job, so after trying and failing to find a good position in different businesses, he'd applied to the assistant job for the CEO of an advertising company. Evan had seen his dedication and seriousness, so he gave him a shot.

It was a good thing Evan had told Timmy to forward him the Apple e-mail, because there was an attached document he had to sign for non-disclosure. He quickly signed it, before replying to the officials.

When Taz arrived into his office, they had a few minutes to work on their speech.

It turned out that the officials from Apple wanted to see what Evan's company could come up with, before choosing between the many ad companies. They had a couple of months to work on it.

As Evan set his best people to work on the new challenge, he realized this was a great opportunity to get Brian to work with him. He was aware Magnetic Steele was too small for Apple, but united with Kinnetik, it might do the trick. He'd wait to proposition Brian until he had an answer back from Apple, but for that he had to make a kick-ass campaign.

He spent the rest of the day exchanging e-mails with Brian regarding his former employees and friends from the ad world. Evan was happy to help his friend build his branch of the company in New York City.

They got along better than Evan could remember they ever did, but they weren't working together and Evan made an effort to not ask Brian if he'd tried patching things up with his hellcat. Every time Justin was brought in discussion one way or another, Brian seemed to close up, and it took a lot of effort to pull him from the dark spot.

In the eve of Brian's trip to Toronto to visit his son for Christmas, Evan convinced him to walk in the park, in a vain attempt to distract his friend from his sorrows. It was only his fault Brian had lost that spark in his eyes, and as devoted as he was to opening Kinnetik and interviewing people every day, it was all about work, without any fun.

Evan was listening to Brian's stories about Gus, encouraging him to talk about his son more, because some light had come in his eyes when he mentioned Gus. Maybe the trip would do him good.

It was going well until Evan saw Brian's hellcat with two other men near a stage. They'd heard some of the concert as they walked aimlessly. Evan noticed Brian's defensive wall surrounding him as he approached Justin and his friends. For some reason, Brian glared daggers at the dark haired guy next to Justin, and Evan couldn't help but wonder if they knew each other.

For a wild second, Evan thought Justin had found someone else, but then that guy took the other man's hand, smiling at Brian. A heated chat between Justin and Brian later, Brian approached him with a small smile.

"Sorry to bail on you, but I'm going with Justin to get a drawing he made for Gus."

"Good luck."

Brian shrugged, leaving with Justin. He watched as Brian wrapped an arm around Justin's shoulders and wondered if they'd made up. It was Christmas after all.

He wouldn't be surprised to hear from Brian that he took Justin with him to Toronto.

"So you're the reason why they broke up?" The dark haired guy said, coming closer.

"Excuse me? Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Justin's friend. Ethan, and this is my boyfriend Warren."

"Whatever." Evan spun on his heels, ready to leave.

"You know something? We aren't that much different. We both knew they were in a relationship when we pursued them, though there's a slight difference. Justin knew when to step back and accept his mistake, besides he had a sound reason to escape from his poisonous relationship with Brian. I gave him everything Brian refused to do or say." Ethan's words stopped Evan, making him frown at the revelations. "As for what Brian did now...when they were in an open relationship, engaged, both of them loving each other, there is no excuse for his behavior. From what I heard, you played a big role in corrupting him."

"What the fuck are you talking about? Yes, I admit, I pushed too hard. I don't do regret, but I deeply regret breaking them up. As for what you just said...you mean that the hellcat cheated on Brian too?"

Ethan snorted. "The hellcat? Does Justin know of his nickname? Anyway, it happened too many years ago. We were nineteen, and Justin was always a romantic. I gave him what Brian wouldn't. Eventually, I stepped wrong and he returned to Brian."

"I see. I don't know why you told me this, but it makes me understand them better."

"Please don't use this against them. I have no idea why I said it, but I guess you had the right to know it. Thinking back, Justin's betrayal was worse than what Brian did now because we kept meeting behind Brian's back until he left him, but they weren't so strong and invested in their relationship. Justin trusted Brian with all his heart, and what Brian did was worse than what we'd done years ago. They weren't committed to each other with expectations from the other. Now they were."

"Well, I appreciate this insight and your confession."

Ethan nodded. "One last piece of advice, try not to interfere. They will end up back together. That's for sure. They're made for each other, but it might take more time than usual. Justin can be too stubborn sometimes and not see the bigger picture."

"A hellcat," Evan snorted. "It was nice chatting."

"Have a nice evening." Ethan steered Warren away from Evan, getting lost in the crowd.

Evan knew that he wouldn't bring this up to Brian, or Justin, for that matter, but it was good to know that Justin wasn't as perfect as Evan once thought.

oOo

Brian disembarked the plane in Toronto with a heavy heart. He'd failed to convince Justin to come along, even for Gus.

The thought of seeing Gus brightened his mood.

He didn't expect to see his son waiting for him in the airport, but the last person he expected to see there waiting for him was Melanie.

"Melanie," Brian greeted.

"You better bundle up, it's blizzard out there."

"Tell me about it. We circled the airport five times before the plane landed."

"While I waited here, trying to stay awake. Thank God for coffee."

In the car, she blasted hot air, rubbing her hands together. "Did you get some sleep?" She asked, eyeing him concerned. Brian looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Some. How's Linz?"

"I left her sleeping. We managed to put Gus to bed around eleven, and when we thought it was over, JR started crying. It was hellish."

Brian knew all about not being able to sleep, but he had his own demons to confront every night.

They stayed quiet for the rest of the journey.

At their house, Melanie showed Brian to the guest bedroom, before going to see if anyone was awake.

Brian took the opportunity to shower and change out of his clothes. When he returned to his room, he found it occupied with Gus jumping on the bed.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"

Brian caught him on time when the little boy bounced off the mattress into his arms. Cuddling him close, Brian forgot about his current problems.

"Hey, Gus. Miss me?"

"Lots and lots."

"We had a pretty nice time on Thanksgiving, huh? Maybe we can find a place like that here too?"

"That would be awesome! I liked that splashing paint game."

Brian smiled, kissing his son's head. "I promise to find a game place like that. If not, maybe we can use your mom's studio?" He could imagine the shock on Lindsay's face if they invaded her personal space.

Gus twisted in Brian's arms, looking around, before meeting his father's eyes. "No Jus?"

Fuck. Brian's heart broke at the sad little face before him. "He couldn't make it. Remember? We talked he's becoming a great artist in New York."

"Oh, yeah." He didn't sound convinced.

"Gus, even though Justin couldn't make it, he sent you something." Placing Gus on the bed, Brian extracted the drawing from his laptop bag. "Here you go. Justin made this for you."

"Wow." Gus stared in awe at the picture of him. "It's me!"

"It's very beautiful. Just like you." Brian smiled, stroking his son's hair.

"I should thank Jus!" Gus looked up expectantly. "Can you please call him?"

"It's really early. He likes to sleep in."

"Later then. We must call him, Daddy. It's my most favorite gift ever." Gus hugged the drawing to his chest.

Brian blinked back the sudden tears in his eyes. He hated himself for hurting Gus with his break-up. Maybe if Lindsay called Justin, he'd be amenable to talk to Gus.

To distract Gus from asking more about Justin, Brian inquired about how he liked it in Canada. The kid had always liked snow and cold, which was odd since neither him, nor Lindsay were fond of winter.

A shadow in the doorway distracted him from Gus's stories.

Brian smiled at Lindsay. "Hi, Linz."

"Mommy! Look what Jus drawed for me."

"Drew," Brian corrected him at the same time as Lindsay.

Gus frowned, looking between his parents. "What about Emmett's friend?"

Brian flopped back on the bed, laughing with tears. Only his kid would be so perceptive.

Lindsay explained to him about the past tense of the word he was trying to use. Gus dismissed her explanation impatiently, showing her the drawing and bouncing all over the place.

"We must, must, must call Jus, Mommy! He drawed….drew...me so pretty!" He averted, using the correct form of the verb. "Please, Mommy."

"What are you feeding him? WASP politeness for lunch? He's too polite." Brian snorted.

"Unlike you, it wasn't hard to teach him these things. He knows that saying 'please' and 'thank you' gets him a special reward."

"I see it runs in the WASP families. Justin used to be the same. I always rewarded him." Brian's attempt at a joke, brought him heartache and a glare from Lindsay.

"Come on, sweetie. Mama made breakfast. After, we'll call Justin. Okay?" She steered Gus out of the guest bedroom.

Brian followed them somberly.

They found Melanie in the process of feeding JR, and Brian was so amused by their faces covered in JR's mashed food that he took a picture and sent it to Michael. He had to see what Melanie was doing to his kid.

For the rest of the day, whenever Lindsay passed Brian, she made sure to brush his arm, his shoulder, his face, compassion evident on her face.

It was late evening, and they were all in the living room catching up when Gus demanded for someone to call Jus, his eyes moving between his dad and his moms.

Lindsay agreed, dialing Justin's number. She kept the phone to her ear until the call connected before handing it to Gus.

The sound settings were pretty loud because Brian who had Gus on his lap could hear Justin.

"Hello? Hello?"

"Hi, Jus!" Gus shouted, grinning widely.

"Gussy?" Brian could hear when Justin's breath hitched.

"Yup! Hi!"

"Hi, Gussy. Merry Christmas!"

Gus beamed. "Merry Christmas, Jus! Thank you for the pretty drawing! I love it. It's the best gift I ever got!"

"I'm glad you like it, kid."

"I miss you, Jus. I wish you came here with Daddy. But Daddy said you were super busy with your painting."

Brian wondered what Justin was going to say to his lie.

"Uh, yeah. It's true. Maybe I'll visit soon. You never know. I miss you too."

"Want to talk to Daddy? I bet you miss him too," Gus said, ignoring the panic in his daddy's eyes.

"Maybe you can put your mommy on the phone? It was very nice hearing your voice."

"Yeah, sure." Gus handed his mom the phone, relaxing in Brian's arms.

Brian couldn't hear what Justin was saying anymore, but he got the gist of the conversation from Lindsay's side. He wished he could have come, but he couldn't since Brian was there. When they were wrapping up the conversation, Gus dived to the other side of the couch, shouting into the phone.

"BYE, JUS!"

Lindsay laughed at whatever Justin told her, then Gus added something that squeezed at Brian's heart.

"I love you too, Jus!"

"We'll talk soon. Remember, we're a call away," Lindsay said, before ending the call.

Gus hugged her around the neck, then went back to sit on Brian's lap, snuggling close. Brian hugged him tightly. For the moment, his son was his only anchor to not break to pieces.

They kept talking for a while, Brian filling them in about how opening Kinnetik in New York was working, while Gus fell asleep. Brian offered to put him to bed.

It took skill to change the slumbering boy into his pajamas, and to Brian's surprise he stayed asleep, but woke up when Brian was about to leave the room.

"Daddy stay!"

"Weren't you sleeping?" Brian joked.

"Stay, please."

"Scoot over." Brian got under the blanket. Gus rolled on top of his daddy, sighing contently.

It surprised Brian to have the small boy on top of him, but he welcomed the feeling. It didn't take long for either of them to fall asleep.

oOo

Christmas was a holiday Brian never enjoyed because he never got into the cheer coming from a dysfunctional family.

Not even when he used to spent it with the Novotnys did he have fun. Justin had somehow convinced him to have a small tree on the counter the previous year, but no other decoration bullshit.

Christmas with Lindsay and Melanie was an experience. There was a huge tree, which he and Gus had spent three hours to decorate, there were lights on the house, which Melanie had hung, there were cookies and mistletoe and carols. It smelled like Christmas, and for the first time in his life, Brian enjoyed the holiday.

He laughed at Gus's cheerfulness over each present he unwrapped, squealing about how much he needed whatever he got. He loved the panda suit Brian got him. He couldn't wait to take the sleigh from his moms to a ride outside. He vowed to drink only from the rainbow cup he got from Emmett. The coloring book from Debbie and Carl worked perfectly with the new crayolas he got from Michael and Ben. Even Ted and Blake got him a present, The Nutcracker on DVD.

Being the polite little kid, Gus insisted to call everyone and thank them.

On the second day of Christmas, Michael and Ben surprised them with a visit. They couldn't stay overnight, but they had to see their honeybun.

While they stayed with JR, Melanie took Gus out on his new sleigh, and Lindsay seized the opportunity to have a talk with Brian.

They went to the park, which was a fifteen minutes away walk.

She was hanging on his arm, watching her steps carefully on the icy paths, unsure how to broach the subject.

Brian cleared his throat, sighing heavily. "Do you remember Evan Steele?"

"The name sounds familiar," she said, surprised he was talking on his own, without being prompted.

"My first boss," Brian explained.

"Right. The guy you thought you loved."

"And remember how he left for New York?"

"That's different from Justin. He didn't leave you.."

Brian jerked them to a stop, shoving his hands in his pockets. "He frequents the bar Justin is working in. He used to harass Justin, trying to get in his pants."

"Small world." Lindsay shrugged. "Wait. You're saying this because…"

"When I surprised him back at the beginning of November with my visit for his show, Evan was there. We haven't seen each other since then, thirteen years ago. We kept seeing each other since he goes to Raging Bull. Then he invited me to that convention in Miami."

"Oh my God!" Lindsay's hand went to her mouth. "Is this headed where I think it is?"

"We fucked. Three times. Four, if a blow job counts for fucking too. I tried resisting him. You have no idea how hard I tried, but somewhere along his insisting...I caved. Because I'm weak and the biggest jerk on Earth."

"Does Justin know?"

"Why do you think we're not speaking anymore?" Brian scoffed, walking away.

Lindsay caught up with him, grabbing his elbow. "But it was a mistake. You weren't thinking straight. I remember how...infatuated you were with this man."

"A mistake happens only once, Linz. I allowed him to fuck me three time."

"He… You… Top…"

Brian rolled his eyes. "Yes. Evan topped me. The problem here is that Justin sensed something was wrong since he saw our interaction at the gallery. So I told him about our past. Then I promised him I wouldn't let Evan get between us. Next thing he knows is me betraying his trust."

"Shit, Brian."

"He'll never forgive me. I lost him forever."

"Don't say this. Please, don't say this. You two…"

"Are over," Brian finished her sentence. "I fucked it up, Wendy. There's no going back."

They continued walking aimlessly in silence for a while.

"Swear to me, you won't repeat what I just told you to anyone," Brian said, swallowing uneasily.

Lindsay scoffed. "I won't even tell Mel. I have a feeling I'm the only one who knows exactly what happened."

"You are," Brian confirmed. "I didn't even tell Mikey. He wouldn't understand. Being judged is the last thing I want right now."

"Oh, but I'm judging you, and I want to punch you for hurting Justin...and yourself. You were so reckless and stupid, but it's all in the past." She snuggled closer, hugging him around the waist. "I'm here if you ever want to talk about this more."

"I don't know if I want to talk about it more. I thought I'd tell you, because you've been in my shoes. You fucked that Sam guy, and had that fallout with Melanie."

"Jeez. Should I be thankful for my own lapse of judgement, because it made you confess in me?"

"Linz, you understand how I feel."

She looked up into his sad hazel eyes. "Well, I hope nothing too dramatic will bring you back together...like our near death experience with Babylon."

"Don't worry. I'm working on a plan."

"And what's the plan?"

"I don't know yet." Brian shrugged, making her laugh.

They returned home in the evening, expecting to find chaos. Lindsay joked that Mel couldn't keep Gus in line, which was a surprise to Brian.

Nothing too dramatic was waiting for them inside the house.

Michael was with JR on the couch, playing. Gus was on the carpet, coloring. Ben was in the kitchen, having banished everyone so he could cook dinner.

"Where's Mel?" Lindsay inquired, amused. Gus must have worn her out on their trip.

Gus was the one to answer, though. "Mama went to buy cocoa to make hot cocoa later. Do you like hot cocoa, Daddy?"

Everyone in the living room, turned to look expectantly at Brian, knowing he was reticent around sweets.

"I love hot cocoa," he declared, lounging next to his son.

Lindsay disappeared into the kitchen to help Ben.

Brian noticed how neat Gus was coloring and that neither design was filled outside the box. He wondered if Justin used to do the same when he was a child, and if Gus would turn out an artist one day.

"Can you not stare? I can't con...cons…" Gus frowned, stumbling over the complicated word.

"Concentrate?" Brian laughed. "Fine. I'll let you draw in peace." After ruffling his hair, he stood up and went to sit next to Michael.

"How's it going? Is Kinnetik ready to take over New York?" Michael asked, keeping his attention on JR. He held her hands as she stood on shaky legs on his lap, smiling at her daddy.

"I have a great office. I'm working on hiring the best people, while my teams from the Pitts work on my first big campaign."

"We barely see Ted. You're keeping him busy."

"He's been amazing. I have no fucking clue what I'm doing, but he's the best."

"And he deserves a break once this whole thing is over."

"Trust me. The reservation for his holiday is a call away. My travel agent can work miracle within a few hours," Brian explained.

"You have a travel agent?" Michael asked, shocked.

"Yeah, he always finds me good hotels and last minute flights. I usually call him when I'm headed out of the state or out of the country."

Michael caught Brian's eye, gauging his feelings, not sure if it was wise to bring up the subject. Brian saw it immediately.

"Don't. We haven't talked," he said, before Michael could get his mouth running.

"He talked to Mom the other day."

"I bet. I shouldn't be surprised Debbie convinced him to give her the new number."

"Oh, that's why the number I have is not working? I wanted to call him yesterday, but the phone is out of service or something."

"Yeah, he changed the number." Brian shrugged. "But I don't want to talk about this. How's Honeycutt?"

Michael gave Brian a dubious look. "You really want to hear about Emmett?"

"Sure."

"Well, I'm sure you two could find common ground if you talked to him. He's immersed himself in party planning to avoid thinking of Drew. Sometimes, we see Drew at Woody's, or even at Babylon. He comes to greet us, but Emmett disappears in the crowd before Drew can reach us."

"I thought he was okay with this," Brian said, frowning. "It seemed he was taking Drew's side when he claimed his boyfriend was seventeen, which is about half of the age he actually he."

"Brian, Drew is new to our life. He's kept himself locked in the closet for years. Emmett pulled him out of there and guided him to our beautiful and bright world. You must understand how difficult it is for both of them."

"Why isn't Emmett telling Drew that he can't see him with others? I bet big bad Drew is actually a big softie. As for Honeycutt...we all know he's in over his head in this."

Michael stared at his best friend, surprised. He hadn't heard him speaking so nice of Emmett before. "Maybe you could talk to him?"

"Let's not push it."

Their attention was diverted from the conversation to JR, who became whiny, and Michael's bouncing seemed to worsen the situation. She kept twisting and turning, but Michael kept her on his lap, bouncing his knees, squeezing her to his chest.

"Did you think that maybe she wants to sit on her own on the couch?" Brian groaned exasperated, not ready for the wails to follow.

Softly, he extracted JR from her daddy, and placed her between them. The meltdown stopped before it could begin. She beamed at Brian. He smiled down at her, tickling her stomach, extracting giggles.

"How did you know what to do?" Michael demanded.

"I've done all this before you." He pointed to Gus. "I kept him a few times at the loft, if you remember. He was perfectly content to sit on the sofa, or on the bed between pillow and watch me, or play with his toys. I seriously don't understand why people do this when the child is ready to cry. Would you rather be shaken when you're about to bawl your eyes out, or when you're tired?"

"It soothes the babies."

"It aggravates them. Lindsay was always surprised that Gus never cried when he was with me, well unless he had one of his meltdowns, being a drama princess for no reason."

They were pulled from the conversation by Gus crawling on Brian's lap. He scowled at his sister for being near his daddy, before snuggling closer.

Melanie, who'd returned earlier, brought over cups of hot cocoa for everyone. Ben and Lindsay joined them in the living room, and they spent a peaceful evening. The normalcy of it, almost made Brian forget about his own depression, but he couldn't enjoy the time in family as much as if he had Justin by his side.

Not long after dinner time, Ben and Michael left, because Michael had his responsibility with the comic book store, and Ben had to grade some papers, so he could enjoy the rest of the break with his husband.

Brian stayed with the girls until a couple days before New Year, when he decided to return to New York.

Gus clung to him, crying crocodile tears about being abandoned and already missing Brian a lot. Brian hugged him tightly, promising to visit more often.

Brian's first stop when he landed in New York was the first open pub. On the forty-five minutes flight he'd realized a new year was coming and Justin still didn't seem amenable to talk to him, let alone think of forgiving him.

So Brian's solution was to drink his sorrows in the cheap booze. He lost track of how many drinks he consumed and what time it was, until the bartender asked if he wanted a cab. Brian rejected his offer, and with the man's help he sorted through the money he had to give him. The numbers and faces on the greens looked the same to Brian.

Brian found himself in front of the pub, sitting on the side of the road with the bottle of JB he'd gotten from the bartender. There was some liquid left on the bottom of the bottle.

It took him a few tries to find his phone in his jacket, before he dialed the first number he saw and the only person around available to help his drunken ass.

After many rings, Evan's groggy voice answered. "Brian? The fuck? You know what time is it?"

"Y'av t'ome get me. I'm s'where near the air'ort."

"Christ. Are you drunk?" Evan groaned.

"A little."

"Try a fucking lot. And can you be more specific? Near the airport, where? Which airport?"

"JFK. A pub with pretty yellow lights."

"Okay. Sit there. I'll come get you."

It started snowing while Brian waited for Evan to arrive, and it wasn't exactly warm, but he didn't seem to feel the cold.

Evan arrived relatively fast considering it was New Year's Eve and seven in the morning. He noticed the pub's lights flicking, and then he saw Brian huddled on the side of the road.

He pulled the car next to Brian, leaning to open the passenger door. The movement startled Brian, who looked up. To Evan's shock, his eyes were red and he looked like he'd been crying.

Evan hurried out of the car to help his friend in a standing position. "What happened? Are you okay?" It didn't seem to be a normal drinking night gone wrong.

Brian shook his arm free, not accepting help, as he stumbled into the car.

Evan shut the door, before getting back behind the wheel. He blasted hot air, keeping the engine on idle.

"Answer me. What the fuck happened?"

Brian turned to look at him, and it was as if he saw him for the first time. "Hey. 'sup?"

"How much did you drink?" Evan demanded.

Brian looked at his now empty bottle of JB, then at Evan, trying to remember the amount of alcohol he'd ingested. He ended up shrugging.

"Did you take Justin to Canada and it went wrong?"

Brian scoffed, turning to look out the window. "Take me home."

"Something must have happened to bring you in this deplorable state," Evan insisted.

"You happened," Brian barked. "I did a lot of thinking in the past few hours. I wish I had never met you. I wish you didn't exist in my life. But you know what's funny? You're the only one I have right now. All my friends are miles away—some in the Pitts and some in Toronto."

Evan watched Brian, worried, as his friend worked on lighting himself a cigarette with shaky fingers and refusing help. Everything had escalated out of control, and it was all his fault.

"Brian, I told you how much I regret what happened in Miami. I'm sorry it all came to this, but I'm here if you need me. I promise to be only your friend if that's what you want."

"You can't be my friend. When I saw you at the gallery last month, I thought we'd become friends and you'd help me with opening Kinnetik here. You are those things, but you also managed to take away from me the only thing that kept me sane." Brian flicked ash in the Coke cup Evan had on the console between the seats, destined for cigarette ash. "You can't be my friend, or the kind of friend I need right now. I can't talk to you about what's driving me crazy."

"Of course you can. That's why I'm here. Like you said, I'm the only one you have in New York. Aside from…" He trailed off.

"And whose fault is it that Justin won't speak to me again? Look, Evan. I appreciate it, but we can't be friends. Just take me home."

"If I was one of your friends from back home, what would you have told me?"

Brian sniffed loudly, swallowing back the tears threatening to spill. "That I feel like the biggest asshole and profiteer on earth for still sticking around the man who ruined my relationship. It's like 'I hate you, but I love you' or 'go away, come back' kind of situation."

"You're following your dream. Despite everything that happened between us, you still need me to help you with Kinnetik. Everyone is acting for their own best interest. I know that you keep me around only to help you with your company, and I don't care. I know that if you had decided to not open a branch here, we'd have never spoken again."

Brian knuckled his forehead. "I'm getting tired of this conversation. Just take me home. I have better booze there."

"Do you want to spend New Year in the ER in an alcoholic coma?"

"If it helps me forget this heartache? Sure."

Evan decided against commenting on the sad confession, simply driving away. During the ride, he could see a few tears rolling down Brian's cheek, and decided it was time to interfere. He couldn't sit back and watch both Brian and Justin be miserable.

He'd seen Justin during his shifts at Raging Bull, and he looked downright depressed, not too far from how Brian looked at the moment.

Evan took Brian to his condo, not taking any argument from Brian's side. He could tell that the side effects from his drinking would show in a few hours.

Like predicted, not too long after Evan installed Brian in his guest room, he heard a commotion, letting him know Brian had run into the bathroom.

"Did you mix drinks too?" Evan scowled, as he helped Brian back to bed.

"I don't know," he slurred, coiling on his side, hugging the pillow to his chest. "I miss Justin."

Evan stared at him, amused. Brian had never struck him as that kind of drunk. He carefully sat next to Brian, squeezing his shoulder. "You should try talking to him. Apologize, and remind him nobody is a saint." Evan decided to keep to himself what he knew about their past, but Justin could give Brian the benefit of the doubt. They'd both cheated on each other at some point.

"I fucked up, Evan. He will never forgive me. I promised him not to fuck you, and...that's what I did. If I put my head to it, I could have denied you. I know my limits."

"But you were curious," Evan whispered.

"Why the fuck do we have feelings? Why the fuck did Justin have to make me feel? I was perfectly fine in my non-feeling world."

"I wouldn't know what you're talking about. I never was in love, but of what I hear it's a wonderful feeling," he said softly.

"It's something sent from Hell to torment me. I fucking hate love. It brings only pain. For the longest time that's the only word I could relate to love, because of my beloved family. Then I made friends, and realized it wasn't about pain. And then...well...I met Justin." Brian glanced up to Evan, a small smile appearing on his lips. "I found a new word to associate with love—Justin. My Sunshine." His smile slipped, tears spilling from his eyes. "Now he's gone...and love is pain again."

Before Evan could find something to say to that confession, he realized Brian had fallen asleep.

A few hours of pondering what was wise to do, he called Ollie to see if Justin worked that night. When he got an affirmative answer, he was out the door in five minutes. It was time to be selfless and repair what he'd broken.