Justin walked after Brian up the stairs of his condo, looking around at the expensive furniture and tastefully decorated place. His attention was drawn suddenly to Brian's ass, when he bent to grab the cat. The kitten had somehow managed to reach the top of the stairs before them, and was purring loudly.

"No, no. You're sleeping in your bed tonight."

Justin stifled a smile at Brian talking to the cat.

"I'll show him to his bed in case he forgot it. Make yourself comfortable," Brian said, going back the way they came.

Brian's bedroom was the only door open. There was a large middle bed seated on a plush carpet, a nightstand on each side, and a large dresser on the far wall.

Justin went to the tall windows, enjoying the view to Central Park at night. His fingers twitched at the majestic landscape, wishing he had the time to paint it.

There will be time for that later, he reminded himself.

"Breathtaking, I know." Brian's voice from right behind him, startled him.

Justin tilted his head to the side, smiling at Brian. "Yes. I've always been fascinated with Central Park for some reason. It's so mystic and romantic and simply gorgeous."

"Did you have time to explore it even a tiny bit?"

"When Daphne was here, but not much. I went for a walk after work a couple of times, but again, I was too tired to enjoy the beauty of it." He especially left out the part when they'd bumped into each other on Christmas.

"Don't worry. We'll make time to see some of it." Brian stroked his fingers through Justin's hair.

Justin could see how nervous Brian was through the reflection in the window. He had rarely seen Brian nervous.

Swallowing his own nerve, Justin turned around slowly, interlacing his fingers with Brian's. He met his wary hazel eyes. "I don't want to go to bed tonight without talking."

"Aren't you tired?"

"I'm beat, but if we postpone this more, we'll never get around to discuss it. Please. Think of it like a bandaid over a fresh bruise. It has to be done, in order for us to get better, to move forward." Justin pleaded.

"All right. Can we at least get comfortable? Do you mind if we talk about this in bed?" Brian asked, tugging Justin toward it.

"Sure. I'm even going to get out of these stuffy clothes." Justin smiled, pulling his tie free from the knot.

When they were down to their underwear, they got under the blanket, backs resting against the headboard.

"Okay…" Brian drawled, angling his body toward Justin.

"So…" Justin lifted a brow. "Where do we start?"

"My trip seems like a good idea?" Brian shrugged.

"I was thinking… Maybe you could tell me a little more from before… From when you were his employee… I want to understand more about what that pseudo-relationship meant," Justin said softly.

"Before I begin, I want to remind you that I'm not good at this...talking. Also, whatever happened, it's all in the past and I regret it like nothing else before," Brian declared seriously.

Justin nodded.

Brian took the silence as a good sign to start his story. "I was fresh out of college. It was my first real job. I was a mass of nerves. Evan was a real ass. He didn't make it easy for me."

"Do bosses ever make it easy for the fresh meat?" Justin snorted, shaking his head.

"It was horrible. I didn't even have my office, or a desk. I worked from a table in the cafeteria. He always mocked my ideas, even when they were amazing and exactly what he was looking for. We used to have these huge fights, that sent everyone in hiding." Brain smiled at the memory. "He got under my skin so easily, I wanted to rip his head off and give him a swift kick in the ass to send him flying from the tall building we were working in."

"Killing the boss so you could take his position? Smart."

Brian grinned, but sombered. "Well, it culminated with a trip to Dallas where Evan had to close the deal with a bank, if I remember correctly." He cleared his throat, staring at his lap. "You have to understand that I've always leaned on being an asshole, but if you ask Mikey, I wasn't like when you met me from the beginning. Bad experiences and life made me close up and refuse any kind of attention from anyone."

"I figured that. I mean, I bet your upbringing had a great deal to do with the man you've become. Though, I sometimes wondered what hardened you like that, what made you fear being attracted to someone," Justin said softly, turning Brian's head to him with a gentle finger under his chin. "Because I could tell you liked me, but you were scared to acknowledge it, let alone show me, nevermind tell me."

"Yeah, well. Part of the blame is on my family, and part of the blame is on Evan. Before I met him, I used to frequent Babylon as much as you know. They were all meaningless fucks. I never cared for the men I was with, not even the ones I allowed to fuck me."

"What? You mean…" Justin's eyes widened.

Brian smirked. "Of course, I took it up the ass. Might I remind you that I was about your age now? I loved sex, not that I don't love it now too, but then I craved it...in every form possible."

"And you stopping to bottom has something to do with...Evan?" Justin spat the name as if it was poison.

"More or less. Let me continue the story, before either of us falls asleep. I told you about the way I was so you'll understand why I tried to make him have fun on our trip. He was this strict, uptight bastard, but I could tell he could be a fun guy too. Might as well enjoy our time there, right? I figured he batted for my team during our plane ride, so I had common ground, at least.

I took him skating. He didn't fall, like I expected, since he was reluctant to do it from lack of previous experience. We had so much fun on the ice ring. It was the kind of fun I usually had with Michael, but I was surprised I could actually make Evan smile and enjoy himself. It was a welcomed feeling, aside from our screaming sessions back in Pittsburgh."

Justin chewed on his lower lips, listening intently, trying to put himself in Brian's shoes and imagine how he must have felt back then. The more he thought of Brian actually enjoying Evan's company, made him sick at the stomach.

"When we went to the conference center, he abandoned me in order to talk business with the managers of the bank. I was left to spread portfolios on the seats and stay out of his way. It hurt like hell. It was my idea he was pitching. I expected to at least be introduced to the men and praised. The more time passed, the angrier I got.

Only when we returned to our hotel room, I followed him in the bathroom, seething. I think he wanted to take a bath. I don't know how it happened. One moment we were shouting at the top of our lungs, the other, we were drenched, tangled up in the bathtub."

"Did you fuck there?" Justin wasn't sure how he found his voice to ask.

Brian's eyes met Justin's, and he nodded. He decided to leave out the details, because it would bring only pain for both of them. "I was stupid to think we had something when we returned home, and I spent the night at his place. He ignored me, and it drove me crazy. He even dared to bring tricks in his office, until I confronted him. It was late at night. We were working on some new campaign. After another monstrous fight, he pushed me to a side door of his office. I was sure he was going to fire me, and that there was a short way to the elevator."

"Yeah, right. Like he'd have lost a valuable man like you. You're a god in the ad world," Justin interjected.

"The door connecting his office with mine had my name on it….and I found out, it had had it for a long time. I went into my new office, slamming the door into his face, satisfied to be away from his annoying self. When I spun around, he was behind me. There was a door leading to the hallway," Brian explained, rolling his eyes. "He decided to give me more false hope by christening my desk. Though, after that...every time we were staying after hours, we always ended up locked in his or my office." Brian paused, searching Justin's eyes.

"And…" Justin drawled.

"And we kept doing this...whatever it was. Late hours at the office, sometimes at his place… I knew he had others on the side, but he always called me when…."

"When the others were busy, or because you were at hand?" Justin finished for him. "I'm starting to understand what you mean by Evan turning you into who you were when we met. When I first saw him, I could see similarities between you two, without even knowing you two were aware of the other's existence."

"The way you behaved when we met, acting like my shadow...I was worse. I made sure to always be available when he needed me. You had some common sense to deny me a few times, I was shameless. I missed dates with Mikey and Lindsay, family dinners at Deb's, nights out with the gang...all because Evan wanted me to drop by."

"Then he left," Justin concluded.

"I was the last to find out. Everyone was walking on eggshells around me all day. Evan was nowhere in sight. Then I found out he was selling the company to Ryder. You know Ryder."

Justin nodded in confirmation, realizing for how long Brian's had worked there.

"I went to his condo, ready to raise hell. He was fucking some guy. I think I scared him away with my screaming. I didn't give a fuck about the guy. When I was alone with Evan, I turned on to him, full of rage and hate. He was leaving the next day to New York. He told me, I could get whatever I wanted from his loft and that I had time to get my own stuff scattered around."

"You had clothes at his house?" Justin gasped, realizing how serious it had been.

"Some, for when we went together at work."

"Let me guess...you were the only one who stayed the night."

"Justin, don't do this. It's not like…. It's nothing like our relationship. I know I cared for you to some extent from the first moment. He didn't. Though...when he left me there in the middle of his condo after his confession, I could tell he actually might have felt something for me."

Justin drew his knees to his chest. "I know what you mean. That's what I thought when I looked at you one last time before I left with Ethan. I wondered if you'd ever felt something for me, because in that moment I doubted everything I knew about you," he said in a small voice.

"I admitted to myself that I loved you when I came to your prom."

Justin smiled, catching Brian's eyes. "It feels like a lifetime ago."

Brian took Justin's hand, squeezing it. "To wrap up this part of our past...let me say that what happened now in Miami…"

Justin froze, having almost forgotten what they were originally talking about.

"Evan came onto me from every direction possible. I kept him at arm's length, reminding him I had a boyfriend who I loved more than my life." He pulled Justin close, rubbing a hand over his shoulder. "After the presentation, I ordered Champagne for myself in my room to celebrate. He brought it, and I have no know how he did it. After more pushing from him and insistent touches and tugs at clothes… Are you sure you want to hear this?"

"No." Justin burrowed closer.

"I caved, because I'm fucking weak. All his pushing and his words reminded me of the past, and I was curious. It felt like the Devil on my shoulder pushed me to sin and give in the temptation, while the Angel on my other shoulder reminded me of my promise to you and that it wasn't worth it to throw our relationship out the window for a meaningless fuck."

"Like always, the Devil won," Justin mumbled.

"You have no idea how sorry I am, Justin. I know you'll never forgive me, or trust me completely again, but this promise I intend to keep. I will never hurt you again."

"You're right. I don't know how I can trust you again, but I know you. I love you so much, and I've missed you like crazy even though it hurt like fuck to even think of you. I'm willing to give this another shot," Justin confessed. "I mean, seriously. I wouldn't have had dinner with you if I didn't give you a second chance."

Brian wrapped both arms around Justin, crushing him to his chest. "Thank you."

Justin placed a hand on Brian's chest, looking up into his eyes. "Please, don't make me regret this. I don't know how to live without you, Brian. I can't just stop loving you. And believe me, I've tried."

"I promise," Brian vowed, cupping Justin's cheek and leaning for a kiss. "I love you, Justin."

"I love you too." Justin's smile lit up his face. "We still have some more to talk about your contract with his company, but I'm going to trust you to keep it professional."

"Don't worry about that. All we do is fight about this new challenge."

Justin burrowed his face into Brian's neck, stifling a yawn. "I guess I'm pretty tired. I've been so busy with this show. I barely slept."

"Then, let's try sleeping."

They lowered on the bed, still holding on to each other.

In the silence that settled, a giggle erupted from Justin's throat, making Brian grunt sleepily.

"I can't believe you aren't trying to fuck me."

"It's not always about sex," Brian said seriously, kissing the top of Justin's head.

"Since when? What have you done with my Brian?"

"Do you seriously want to fuck now?"

"Well, no. I mean, I do, but...I don't." Justin laughed. "That came out wrong."

"I know what you mean," Brian said into Justin's hair. "We'll have time for make-up sex tomorrow. Tonight was reserved for talking and regaining some of your trust."

"Thank you," Justin whispered. He snuggled closer to Brian, resting his cheek against Brian's shoulder. "I should have allowed you to explain yourself from the very first time, but I was blinded by rage and betrayal."

"I understand. I wish we could wipe out what happened, but we can't."

"We've learned a lot from your mistake, and we're going to try and move on. Believe me, if it wasn't you, I wouldn't have given you a second chance. But I know you far too well."

Brian squeezed him tightly. "Love you, Sunshine."