CHAPTER 6 – PITCHING AND BITCHING
DAY 8 – MORNING
MICHAEL’S SUITE
MICHAEL
I didn’t think it was possible to crap so much but at least the rash is gone so it was worth it. I grab my card and double check my face…yes back to my best. As I let myself out, I run into Ethan.
“What are you doing on these floors? I heard you were removed? I sneer.
“Being removed from looking after these floors doesn’t mean banned. I am allowed around all of the ship you know. Now excuse me, I have other duties to attend to.”
I watch him stalk to the lift and wait. There is no way I’m sharing anything with him!
ETHAN
Shit and double shit! If he didn’t come out then, I could’ve snuck to Brian’s suite and left my note. Too late now.
MICHAEL
I head to Brian’s suite and knock and knock. Nothing. I press my ear to the door and can’t hear anything. I start to knock again when Mel comes down the corridor.
“Morning Michael, we’re on the beach deck. Forgot my camera. Going ahead or going to wait?”
Beach deck?
“I’ll wait.” I reply. When she comes out again, I notice she’s in her sports gear. “Are you sure you should be exercising in your condition?” I ask as we virtually jog along.
“Who’s the one wheezing Michael?” She asks as we hit the deck.
BEACH DECK
What greets me has me thinking bad thoughts! The expanse of flesh is amazing! After about 20 minutes of watching and walking, I relocate Mel.
“Where’s everyone else?” I ask as she does a stretch.
“Breakfast.” She replies.
“Breakfast? You said we were on the beach deck.”
“Yes we; Leda and I. She’s runs the club.”
I glare at her and stomp off to the restaurant.
SEABIRD RESTAURANT – 20 MINUTES LATER
I find everyone at our allotted table but we seem to have acquired a couple more people.
“Morning, everyone.” I say and sit down.
“Hey Mikey, how you feeling? You look a lot bet…no Gus, don’t eat that! It’s chilli.”
“I’m fine thanks. We have new people with us I see.”
“Oh sorry sweetheart! This is Carl and this is Rodney.” Ma introduces us and then goes back to speaking to Carl, without asking how I feel!
“Where’s Emmett? Do you know, Brian?”
“With Franc sorting out the menu for tomorrow.” Uncle Vic replies. “I’m so looking forward to it.”
“Menu? Tomorrow? Can someone tell me what’s going on?” I demand. “I’ve been in bed sick, remember?”
“We’re going for a beach BBQ while the manlier ones among us, fish.” Carl smiles at me, which I ignore. “I’d love to go but it’s hard work out there.”
Emmett’s arrival stops me from replying. “Sweeties! Menu is sorted, but I need daddy approval from you though, Brian. Oh, hello Michael, how are you feeling? You’re still looking a bit red in patches.”
“No I’m not!” I retort.
“Actually sweetheart, you are.” Ma contradicts me but when I look to Brian for support, he’s still reading the fucking menu!
“Menu’s good. Not sure how beef short ribs are going to work with little hands though.” He tells Emmett, obviously ignoring my narrowed eyes.
“She said she’d make his extra short.” Emmett laughs, then takes the menu and goes back to wherever he was.
I signal Tyler to order my food when a tall woman literally glides over.
“Good morning Kinney party. I’m Veronique Charles-Prince, who is Mr Kinney?”
“That would be me.” Brian stands up but she waves him back.
“I’m here on behalf of my husband Rupert, who owns the company. May I sit?”
I wonder what other free stuff is coming our way; I’m so glad I did this! Now, if I could just spend some actual uninterrupted time with Brian without the family, friends or fucking cats, all my efforts to make this trip happen will be worth it.
“Of course.” Brian waves her into Emmett’s seat.
She clears her throat. “This is a bit of a liberty and I will understand if you say no, since you are on holiday after all. But Franc sent me your card and I did a bit of research on you. I like what I found. And having spoken to my husband, who’s in Norway for the next 10 days. We’d like you to do a pitch to the board when he returns. The VanGuard rolling contract is up for renewal soon and…”
“Are you serious?!” Brian gasps and she smiles.
“Absolutely. The Seabird advertising is tired and not reaching the right market. From what I’ve seen of your work, you’d be perfect. You just need to convince my husband and his son.”
“I…” Brian begins.
“Before you respond, take the time over the weekend to think about it. Let me know your decision on Monday.”
“Okay, Monday it is.” Brian is still stunned.
“Thank you Mr Kinney and…”
“Brian.”
“Brian, thank you. By the way, I hope you take your loss with good grace. She’s a kick ass fisherwoman. Learned from the best. Good day to you all.”
“You’re not going to take this job are you?” I ask, stage-whispering once she’s out of earshot, but loud enough so the whole table can hear and provide me with backup. I’ll be fucking damned if Brian takes this job!
“I don’t know…”
“What about Gus? He wants to spend time with his daddy?” I point out, pouring on the guilt. I know what it’s like when he’s in the middle of a pitch. Having to share time with someone who is going to be my stepson is one thing; sharing it with work while on holiday is unacceptable!
“Hi guys.” Mel sits next to me. “What’s got the gobsmacked look on your face Brian?”
Aha an ally!
“The wife of the owner of Seabird has asked him to pitch in 10 days.” Ma tells her, beaming for some reason. “And he’s got till Monday to make a decision.”
“Wow! You going to do it? It would…” Mel begins but I interrupt. I want her to know that I agree with her reasoning for not allowing Brian to do this. I knew I could count on her to put a stop to this shit!
“That’s what I was saying. Doing this would eat into his time with Gus.”
“I wasn’t going to say that.” Mel glares at me. “What I was trying to say before I was rudely interrupted was that this would be a huge fu…feather in your cap against Vance, Brian.”
Wait. What?!
“If you decide to go for it or not, we’ll support you. It’s not as if Gus is with you all day. He’s got club and everything else. As long as you have a hard stop timewise, it will be fine.”
“What will be fine? Ooh squeeze up, people!” Emmett demands.
Mel catches Emmett up and he stares at Brian for a bit. “Well doing it gets my vote!”
“Okay, why?” Brian asks grinning.
“I’ll be your talent spotter of course!” He cackles and Brian just shakes his head.
“Now come-come people, Diamonds awaits!”
“Diamonds? What’s Diamonds?” I ask as Tyler puts my food down.
“Clothing store. We need to be BBQ pitch perfect.” He replies as everyone starts to get up. “Trust me, we’ll still be down there by the time you finish. Everyone ahead of me. Toodles Michael!”
I stab my egg hard then start to eat quickly. Once I finish, I head to Diamonds but the layout is so confusing…oh wait! Is that a comic book store?!
DIAMONDS CLOTHING STORE – 30 MINUTES LATER
EMMETT
I love shopping! But even better, I love shopping with unlimited expenses! As long as it goes through Brian’s suite card, then it’s fine. However, I’ve spoken to the family and we’re not telling Michael that. But today, it’s unavoidable.
Diamonds is a wonderful place! It has both mid and high end clothes and accessories.
“Kinney Party?” Somebody asks.
“Yes, this is us.” I reply and shake his hand. “But the person you need to speak to is that tall drink of water over there. One minute...Brian a moment!”
Brian comes over and The Shopkeep eyes him carefully. “Oh I know exactly where you are going to be. But first things first…” He shuts and locks the door. “Eyl, my name is Eyl and you have the store to yourselves for 2 hours. Is there anyone else coming?”
“Yeah but he shouldn’t be long.” I reply.
“Okay let’s begin. You are being kitted out for a beach BBQ, correct?” He turns to me and I nod. “Right, you and I are going to have our work cut out for us. I suspect we have a stubborn man over there.”
“You have no idea!” I chuckle.
“I’m not stubborn. I just like what I like and nothing else.” Brian protests, almost crossing his arms.
“We’ll leave him till last. He might be worn out by the end.” Eyl queries.
“If there’s one thing that I never tire of it’s shopping.” Brian smirks.
“Daddy, what’s the other thing?” Gus looks up at him.
“Yes daddy, do tell your son what the other thing is?” Mel snickers.
“Dancing, Sonny Boy. Dancing.”
“Both horizontal and vertical.” Debs chuckles.
“Oh you’re bad. Now let’s shop!” Eyl laughs.
COSMIC COMICS – AN HOUR LATER
MICHAEL
I have a stack of stuff in front of me and the cashier is ringing them through. I can’t wait to get them back to my store.
“Do you know where Diamonds is?” I ask the cashier.
“Yeah. We’re on the 3rd level and they are on the 6th. You can’t miss it.”
“I’ve been all over and managed to miss it.” I grumble and he just looks me up and down.
“Well just stay on this side of the ship and go up three floors and there you are. Shines bright does the Diamond.” He chuckles and I look blankly at him. “That will be $65.80 cash or credit.”
“Actually I’m part of the winning Kinney party, can you charge it to that?” I reach for the bag of the comics and toys but he puts his hand on top and shakes his head.
“Not without Mr Kinney being present. We would need him and the card.” His smiles sympathetically at me before clearing his throat. “We can keep these for you until Mr Kinney is with you. Now if you could excuse me, I need to serve this customer.”
I glare at him and reach for my phone. “I won’t be one minute.” I head out of the store but there’s no fucking signal. It takes a good five minutes for me to find a WiFi spot.
DIAMONDS CLOTHING STORE
EYL
Okay, he really wasn’t kidding about not wearing what he doesn’t want to wear! This is perfect for him. He won’t even consider holding it up against himself to see!
“There’s lime green!” He reiterates backing away from me. “No…”
“But the majority of the shirt is brown. The chartreuse is a very small part of it.”
“Again no. Let’s…”
“Oh that’s a pretty shirt daddy.” Gus comes back from getting changed and looks at the shirt with a smile. “I like that.”
“Really, Sonny Boy?” Brian looks at it again. “What do you like about it?”
“It’s the same colour as your hair and I love the colour of your hair.” He touches the shirt against his face. “And it feels nice, all slippy and soft.”
He looks at the shirt again and then sighs. “Okay give it to me, I’ll try it on. Sonny Boy, can you look after my phone?”
He hands it to him and I watch Gus carefully tuck it into the front of Leather Bear’s dungarees and smile. He’s so adorable!
BRIAN
Oh fuck! I love this shirt! It would be perfect with the D&G suit I saw. “Uh Eyl…”
“I got both the D&G and the Gucci suits for you.” He calls out, handing them through the curtain.
“Daddy, did you like the shirt too?” Gus asks.
“Yes I did Sonny Boy, well chosen.” I poke my head out and Eyl only smirks a little and I roll my eyes at him. “Now can you go with Eyl to get a couple of ties that go with the shirt please?”
“Oh yes!” He holds his hand up to Eyl and they walk away.
MICHAEL
“Brian, it’s me again! Can you call me back when you get this third message?”
After another 15 minutes of silence, I’m fuming that he’s not called me back. I really want the things today as I don’t believe he’s going to keep them for me. I try Brian again.
DIAMOND CLOTHING STORE
MEL
“Brian, we’re done. So we’re heading for something to eat. Gus you want to come with us?”
“No Momma. I want to stay with daddy. As I now have to sort out his socks. But can you take Leather Bear with you?” I nod and carefully pick him up and put him in the basket.
“Sure honey. We’ll be at Lilah’s.” I smile at Gus sitting on the floor sorting through a pile of socks and ties.
“Okay we’ll be another half an hour tops!” Brian calls out.
“Uh Brian, I’ve found this.” Emmett comes in with a tank. “And these jeans will look perfect, don’t you think Eyl?”
“Perfect and I have the perfect belt. One minute!”
Brian sticks out a hand and takes them in. “Make that 45! Emmett, does that come in blue?”
“I saw a blue but I’m not sure about it, too wishy washy I think. But there’s a lovely olive green, not lime… olive.”
“Brian, that’s too long for Gus to go without food. He ate early.” I object.
“Honey she’s right.” Emmett agrees. “Tell you what, I’ll bring Gus along once he’s done with the ties and socks, okay? I’m beginning to get a little peckish. But I want to see that top on him first.”
“Okay thanks Em. Gus, did you hear that?” He looks up, nods and smiles before going to back to making sure his daddy has the right socks.
COSMIC COMICS
MICHAEL
There’s a different cashier when I return. “Hi I’m here to collect that.” I point at my shopping bag.
“Ah Mr Kinney, can I have your card please?”
“No I’m not Mr Kinney. Is it possible for you put it on my room bill?” I hand him my swipe card.
“Unfortunately not, because your room is registered under Mr Kinney, I would need his card.”
I grind my teeth in frustration before handing my credit card over.
“There you go sir. Enjoy!”
“Thanks.” I grind out. “Diamonds is on the 6th level, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Have a nice day.”
I just stalk out and go to find Brian!
DIAMONDS CLOTHING STORE
BRIAN
I look at the sea of bags on the trolley and the smirk on Eyl’s face. “Okay you were right about the shirt. And the belt. And virtually everything else.” I smile at him and he chuckles.
“Oh honey, you have no idea how many come in like you did but go out with a brand new wardrobe. But you... now you were a tough one. Thank goodness for Gus.”
“So what happens about paying for this?” I pick up a pair of sunglasses.
“All expenses paid, remember?” He grins at me and exchanges the sunglasses and after I try them on, I put them in one of the bags.
“I insist on giving you commission on this. No I mean it.” I hand over my credit card and smile at the face that Vance will make when that other bill slides across his desk!
“Right all done. Now you go enjoy the rest of your day. Thank you, you really didn’t have to.”
“Yes I did.” I smile at him. “Bye.”
“Oh just in case Gus forgets to tell you, your phone is in the front of Leather Bear.”
“Thanks.”
I head out and realise that we’ve been there for almost three hours. He definitely earned it. I start to head to Lilah’s when I hear my name being called.
“Brian!” I turn round and wait for Michael to catch up with me.
“Hey Mike…”
“Where have you been?! I’ve been calling for ages!”
“I just heard you call so that’s not ages. And, as you knew, we were in Diamond Clothing Store; we never left. You found a comic book store, I see.” I shake my head. Only he could be on a luxury cruise and find a comic book store!
“Huh? Oh yeah. Why didn’t you call back?”
“I didn’t have my phone. You hungry?” He’s starting to sound worse than Gus during a very rare, but impressive, queen out.
“What do you mean you didn’t have your phone?” He demands and I come to a halt. It takes him a few steps to realise I’m not next to him. “Brian?” He asks, coming back.
“I don’t answer to you Michael. But since you demanded an explanation like a spoilt child, I will tell you. But know this is the last time I do. First it was on silent. Secondly, I was with Gus and he had my phone. He put it with Leather Bear and Leather Bear is with Mel. If you were so desperate for me, you should’ve come to Diamonds. Now come on, let’s go to Lilah’s and eat.”
LILAH’S
MICHAEL
Okay, I’m almost running to keep up with him. He seems annoyed but I don’t see why. It was me that was left out.
When we get to the table Leda and Justin, who is sitting next to Gus, are there too. As well as Rodney and Carl but there’s no Ted.
“Daddy, come sit next to me!” Gus waves at him and people get up so they can let him in. I go to follow Brian but am blocked.
Before I can say anything, Franc comes over. “Hey everyone! Looking forward to tomorrow?” She looks round the table. “Where’s Ted?”
“Hyperventilating about how much he spent so he’s gone to lie down for a bit.” Ma laughs.
“He spent but this is all expenses paid.” She frowns and then smirks. “So he had to go to the medical unit, did he?”
“Oh yeah.” Mel laughs.
“But he’s coming tomorrow right?” She asks and Mel nods. “And coincidentally Blake is off tomorrow.”
“Hmm how odd.” Ma snickers.
What the hell are the talking about?
“So before we go to the grounds, we’ll pick up the lobster pots…” She starts to do a headcount. “I reckon three should be enough for the corn dogs. That way Mel can have some. Carl, you look like you know how to cook a corn dog. Can I leave that with you?”
“I’m not sure how to take that but yes.” He laughs.
“In the best possible way.” She grins and looks to the corner of the room. “Tyler. They’re all here!”
“Thanks Franc!” Tyler smiles as he comes over.
“Right, I’m going…oh hell no!”
We all turn around and watch Ethan approach the table. “No Mr Gold. Go away. That is a direct order.”
“It’s okay Franc. I want to hear what he has to say.” Brian glowers at him.
“Mr Kinney, I’m so sorry that I made that…”
“You should’ve been paying more attention.” I point out.
“Are you kidding me right now?” Uncle Vic demands. “If you…”
“Vic. Leave it.” Ma interrupts. “If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have known about the band policy.”
“You’re so sorry that you haven’t come to apologise for almost 24 hours. Something as serious as that demands an instant apology.” Brian snaps. “So no Ian, I don’t accept your apology. Now let us dine in peace.”
He slinks off with his tail between his legs and I smile at Brian. “Well said.”
He looks up at me before putting his drink down. “But if you had listened to Gus in the first place, we would’ve known where he had gone. But Debs is right your laziness saved the day.”
“And that reminds me. Justin, can you tell him about the button? I was so steamed, I forgot. So my apologies for that. Look guys, I gotta go back to the bar. See you guys tomorrow. Did you remember to buy a couple of tents or did you just stay in Diamonds the entire time?”
There are some embarrassed looks.
“Don’t worry, I’ll sort it. He’s like a vortex, keeps sucking you in. See ya tomorrow.”
CARL
“She said something about a button?”
“Oh yes.” Justin stops scowling at the retreating back of Ethan. “Gus, can you roll your sleeve up for me?” He does so. “You see the red button right?”
“Yes, Miss Franc told me to press it once, stay where I am and someone will come find me. I remembered.”
“Well done Gus. But there’s another button. See this one on the side?” Gus nods. “Show daddy and momma. This is the immediate button. It sets the alarms off…oh wait. Franc?! Can we do a test?”
“Sure!”
“Ladies and gentlemen, we will be doing an immediate test, this is a just test. I repeat this is a test. Please remain calm.”
She gives him the thumbs up.
“Now press this button.”
The alarm immediately comes on and the doors clang shut. “Gus Kinney needs urgent assistance. He is in Lilah’s Bar on the 2nd floor. Repeat Gus Kinney needs urgent assistance. He is in Lilah’s Bar on the 2nd floor.”
“Thank you ladies and gentlemen. The test is over.” Franc nods and goes back to work.
“Christ!” Brian exclaims. “That’s impressive! So this band is unique to Gus?”
“Yeah. Each band for each kid. Franc is amazing. So smart.” Justin grins at Franc, who’s chatting away. “We don’t have that many kids on the ships so it works well for us.”
“Can you imagine that across schools?” I ask Mel, sitting back and looking at Franc with a newfound respect.
“That would be awesome. And reassuring to many parents, especially those in custody cases.” Mel drums her fingers. “What’s the range on that?”
“That’s the other thing, it’s not very far. So far only ship wide. But they kick back in when we get back on shore and in the compounds. They also work there.”
“Compounds? What compounds?” I ask frowning.
“Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it sounds. On every island there is an estate owned by Seabird, but they’re big…so that’s why we say compound. Not everyone wants to walk round the islands so they can stay on the compound instead.”
“This guy has some serious money.” Debs sighs. “And honey, you’d be a fool to pass this pitch up.” She tells Brian. I see her son’s scowl deepen because of her suggestion.
“Hi guys.” Ted joins us looking very pleased with himself. “What’s occurring?”
“We’re pitching to Seabird in 10 days.” Brian tells him.
MICHAEL
Oh for fuck sake!