CHAPTER 87 - THE WEDDING PART 2...AND THE AVENUE HAS HAD ENOUGH
BRIAN
I lead him back to the entrance where Debs and Jennifer are waiting for us. “Who goes first?” He whispers and, with a gentle shove, I let him walk ahead. “See you down there!” He calls back and blows me a kiss.
“You betcha!” I grin and then turn back to check on Gus. He is bubbling with excitement as we’ve got a little surprise for Justin. While he knows about the boys having collars, he doesn’t know about them coming down the aisle. “You ready, boys?” I ask and they all look at me as if to say born ready. I wait for Justin to reach the altar and then send them down and it’s the gasp from Emmy that gives it away and he looks back.
“Someone please take a picture of that?!” He begs as Gus, flanked by Rhubarb and Custard, comes down the aisle. In seconds, almost half the wedding party are on the altar, taking pictures...because our boys are looking damn cool! [First Custard and then Rhubarb]
“Only you, Kinney!” Ted calls out.
“Soon to be Taylor-Kinney, if you please!” I shout back. “Can we walk now?!”
“Everyone, please sit!” The reverend orders with a smile on his face and people take their seats.
“Ready, kiddo!” Debs smiles and double checks me. ”Don’t know why I am doing this, as if you’d be less than immaculately perfect for the man of your dreams and heart… Hey! Come back here. Give us a minute!” She shouts down and closes the doors before turning to me again. “What is it?”
“Nothing! Nothing is wrong. I-I didn’t have all of my vows and you gave me the words. Now come on, let me go and say them.” I grin and gently smooth out the creases on her forehead with my thumb. “It’s all good, I promise. And I am not paying for you to have Botox, so stop frowning!”
“Okay, let’s go!” She orders and opens the door. When I look down the aisle, four pairs of concerned eyes look back. My boys start to relax as we walk down towards them. As she hands me off to Ted, Gus looks up at me and when I wink at him, he breaks into his Gussie smile!
“Are we ready?” The reverend asks and I give him my answer by reaching for Justin’s hand.
“Just a second.” Justin stops us. “Mel, if you could please...you’re not the only one that can spring surprises.” He smiles at me. Mel steps out with Ruby and puts her on the floor, then stands behind her. “Come here, Ruby!” Justin calls out; she turns to the voice and the entire island goes quiet...as she starts to crawl towards us!
“Oh Jesus!” I hear Ted sniff.
“Tissues!” Is the only thing I hear from Emmy.
“When did…” I look at a grinning Justin.
“On the boat a few days ago.” He replies, handing me his handkerchief.
“Daddies...look, she’s moving by herself.” Gus whispers in awe. “Can we wait for her to get here?”
“Absolutely.” I reply and another 10 minutes later, our daughter joins us at the altar. When we turn back to the reverend, and he is wiping his eyes.
“I don’t think I can take any more surprises...tell me that this is the last one and I can marry them now?!”
“Yes, this is definitely the last one!” Randy calls out.
“Marvellous! Right, dearly beloved we are gathered here to witness in-” He takes a deep breath and clears his throat. “In the eyes of God and the States of California, New York and Pennsylvania, the marriage of Brian Aiden Kinney to Justin Cole Taylor. Is there anyone here present, who…”
“Wants a knuckleduster sandwich!” Franc stands up and looks around, glaring at every person in attendance.
“No, there’s nobody!” Debs calls out. “Please continue, Rev!”
“Okay, ladies, please sit down. So nobody has a problem with them getting married? Thank goodness, I have seen those things! Justin, will you please turn to Brian and say your vows?”
Clearing his throat, he gives me a beaming smile. “Brian Aiden Kinney, I love you with everything I have. The first time I saw you, my immediate thought was to pour a bucket of ice down my pants…” He giggles and then blushes. “And then when Rhubarb and, especially, Custard gave their approval, I knew. The added bonus of getting to be a father to Gus and Ruby just makes me love you even more. Everything you do makes me proud to love you and to be loved by you. It would be my greatest honour to join our houses, so will you please be my husband?”
“I will.”
“Brian, your vows.”
“Justin Cole Taylor, you are the man of my dreams and of my heart. Every day that I can’t see you, touch you or hear your voice is horrible for me. You accept me in every way possible...faults and all. You don’t let me slide on sh...stuff. You encourage me and listen to me, even when you think I’m wrong. Instead of telling me that my feelings in that moment are invalid, you help me to see the situation from a different perspective. But the most important reason I love you is because you also love our children. You were his Mr Justin first and now I am asking you to be my Mr Taylor-Kinney forever.”
“Yes, yes and triple yes!” He wraps his arms around my neck and I start to lower my head....
“Not yet!” Ted whispers loudly.
“And stop climbing!” Emmy hisses.
Justin lowers his leg and I raise my head; we are both blushing.
The Reverend chuckles, again clearing his throat. “Thank you gentlemen, please answer the following questions. Do you both promise to love, honour and stay true to each other for as long as you both shall live?”
“We do.”
“Do you the congregation witnessing their vows, promise to do everything in your power to help Brian Aiden Kinney and Justin Cole Taylor, uphold their vows in their marriage?”
“We do!” They yell back.
“And do you Gus Marcus Kinney and Ruby Marquess Kinney, give your blessing for the marriage of your daddies to each other?”
Gus looks up at the reverend in surprise. “Of course, we do! What a silly question!”
“Yes, I-I suppose it was.” He replies smiling. “Now Gus, please present your daddy’s ring.”
“Daddy, it’s this one.” He points it out to me and again, I blink back tears.
“Thank you, Sonny Boy.”
“Brian, place the ring on Justin’s finger and repeat after me. With this ring, I pledge my love to you and only you.” I clear my throat hard and repeat the words. “Justin, place the ring on Brian’s finger and repeat after me…”
“With this ring, I...oh sorry!” Justin exclaims embarrassed.
“No, please continue.” He laughs.
“With this ring, I pledge my love to you and only you.”
“For as long as you both shall live?”
“For as long as we both shall live.” We reply.
“Then with the power vested in me in the eyes of God, the congregation and the States of California, New York and Pennsylvania, I pronounce you Brian Aiden and Justin Cole Taylor-Kinney!”
“Thank you!” I shake his hand and everyone goes quiet. “What?”
“Kiss me, you idiot!” Justin giggles, tugging on my arm.
“Oh yeah, that!” I grab him and reminiscent of the Kings of Babylon contest, I dip him to kiss him and then get lost in kissing my husband.
“And we’re going to stand right here until they come up for air or, at least, remember that they are wearing kilts in the traditional way!” Cynthia shouts.
We stand up real quick and behind the backs of Ted, Cyn and Emmy Lou, I take my hand out from under his kilt!
EMMY LOU
“Can we move now?” I call over my shoulder.
“Yep!” Justin replies, chuckling. “I can’t believe you did that!”
“Neither can I. Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to embarrass…”
“You didn’t, but I now need to think of girlie parts for a while!”
“Seriously, need to check the food! Can we go?!” I interrupt them, trying my best not to burst out laughing. They really are incorrigible! Justin is especially unrepentant. He may look like an angel but...
“Yes!” They both reply.
“Great! Now walk ahead of us!” I order and snicker as Brian mutters about bossy caterers while Justin adjusts the back of his kilt.
DEBS’ HOUSE - SAME TIME
MICHAEL
I AM SO EXCITED! I finally got my wedding plans sorted… and it was so easy! Who needs a wedding planner and all that kind of shit! I just went to the Big Q and some comic book stores and got what I needed. And even better, I have been checking online about Kinnetic and just like I should be, I will be set for life. I’ve been giving this marriage thing some thought and to be honest, it’s just not for us. We are both born to roam free! So I decide that I’m going to stay with him for a couple of years and then divorce him on the grounds of, naturally, infidelity because there is no way he will be faithful. Then I will go my own way, leaving their son and nephew to look after them. I have looked after them enough! I start to make my list of rules for our marriage.
I jump as my phone rings and I look at it. It’s the officiant. “Michael Novotny speaking. Well I haven’t got a precise date but...okay, let’s go with the 23rd December! Yes, I know it’s only three days away. Everything is well in hand. Yes, I have the licence! The groom is currently away on business, but has left everything to me. He trusts me that much. Fine, see you then!”
I hang up on him before he can say anything else and head upstairs to check out our outfits...I’m going to be Astro Boy to his Vince Astro...and I have pictures of the characters all around the room downstairs...because some people have no idea who they are!
SEABIRD ISLAND - SAME TIME
FRONT VERANDA
VIC
We’re surrounded by the people that love us! The speeches have been done and now we are waiting for the food to come out, but something is bugging Rodney and me. So we head to find Brian and Justin.
“Guys, quick question.” I interrupt their gentle make-out session. “Why did the reverend mention the states of California and New York during the ceremonies?”
“Ah, that was a Randolph idea. Since you are going to be spending half the year in California, he thought it would be a good idea to get the marriage recognised in the state should one of you die there. Then, at least, there won’t be any problems with the estate.”
“Estate? But we don’t have an estate in...oh no, you’re not serious, Dottie! Rose!” I call out with tears prickling and they come over smiling with Raymond. “You’re not serious?!”
“Yes, we are. Here are the keys. Happy Wedding Day.” Raymond announces before rejoining his parents.
“Now just accept and get over it.” Rose tells us firmly as I holding a sobbing Rodney, tightly.
“Okay people, we’re bringing out the first lot of food, just to tide you over until later. Which are Korean spring onion pancakes, turkey wings and truffle burgers in slider form!” Franc calls out and then she disappears into the kitchen.
I watch Brian’s eyes zero in on the door. “Oh God, I will need to do a thousand laps!” He grumbles and the door opens. The first thing that hits us is the smell. “Make that two thousand!”
BRIAN
I watch Justin really try very hard not to finish the pancake that he’s supposed to be feeding to Ruby, but can’t blame him as it is so good!
“Papa, you’re almost doing a daddy!” Gus calls out in admonishment and my eyes widen!
“What do you mean, Gus?”
“When he thinks you’re not looking at breakfast, he takes your bacon and then drops a piece so he can blame Rhubie.” Everyone looks at me and I curse myself for instilling honesty in my Sonny Boy.
“Oh he does, does he?” Justin smirks
“Yes and when you have the duck pan…”
“Sonny Boy!” I interrupt quickly, knowing he’s going to give away my duck pancake crush...I love it when he does them!
“Yes, daddy?”
“Can you get me another burger please?”
“Yes, daddy. Papa, do you want one too? Or should I make that two for you? And what about the wings? Should I put them in the oven like you do so you can eat them later, Papa?”
I look at a very sheepish looking Justin. “Hmmm…”
He grins and comes over to sit in my lap. “If it helps, you make the best turkey wings ever.”
“And you make the best duck pancakes ever.”
“But you both make the best jamba-thing when you make it together.” Gus smiles as he comes over with a plate, ladened with food.
“Jambalaya.” We both correct him.
WOODY’S - SAME TIME
MICHAEL
I look at a disbelieving Marcel. “You can call him if you want!” I smirk and hand him my phone.
“Oh fuck yeah, I’m going to call him!” He snatches the phone out of my hand and dials the number. “Hey Kinney, its Marcel from Woody’s...uh huh, oh okay. Well he’s in front of me wanting to put up the poster of the big event. Yeah I said poster and I wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted...oh, you do? Okay then. Want to speak to him? Sure, bye.”
“Well?” I lean smugly against the bar, rolling my hand-made poster on it.
“Says to have at it.”
“Thought he might. Put that somewhere nice and prominent and spread the word!” I saunter out of the bar, smiling.
MARCEL
While he was being a smug asshole and before I called Brian, I sent the number to my phone. As the door shuts behind him, I signal Tyrone to stand in front of it so he doesn’t come back in. I take a picture of the poster and shake my head.
“Quiet!” I order and dial the number again, putting it on speaker.
“Hello? Is this Marcel?” A very female voice comes over.
“Yep. That you, Daphne?”
“Uh huh…”
“So want to tell the Avenue just what the fuck is going on? Why does he think he’s actually marrying Kinney? But first, you have got to see this for shit poster he’s knocked up! You should have it now.”
“Oh...oh my god, no!” She whimpers. “Why, just why would…okay, here’s the thing…”
By the time she’s finished explaining, we know exactly what to do! And the first thing we need to do is call the officiant and find a bull!
SEABIRD ISLAND - 40 MINUTES LATER
JUSTIN
I watch my husband... God, he’s my husband...across the room. I have just finished tucking in Gus and Ruby after we read them a story. Despite Gus’s protests that he was not sleepy, he was out like a light after two pages.
He looks over and beckons me closer. When he sweeps me into his arms, all I want to do is stay there and never move.
“Everyone, the main...suckling pig and salads! And for dessert, blackberry delice!” Tyler calls out, having finally managed to wrest catering duties from Franc, who is talking to Raymond and Markus.
“Brian...would you be really upset if we didn’t…”
“No, I wouldn’t. I want to make love to my husband in our home. Besides this fucking kilt is itching my junk something fierce!”
“Oh thank goodness...now let’s go put on some shorts!”
23RD DECEMBER - MORNING
MICHAEL
I look round the diner and can feel the new respect, radiating from them as they know that I am going to be the Stud of Liberty Avenue’s husband as of today! I snap my fingers at one of the twinks that was sitting here before and is now a waiter.
“Coffee. From a fresh pot. Take away, I have a wedding to prepare for.” I demand.
“Of course. One minute.”
True to his word, he was exactly one minute and I take my cup to head back to Ma’s. As I walk down the street, I feel eyes watching me and smirk to myself. The only thing that has pissed me off is that Brian hasn’t rung me back. But I know just how to bring him to heel! As I round the corner of Ma’s street, I stop and stare. There is an enormous limo outside. I run my finger along the side and smile. “This has to be Brian.”
“Michael!” Ma’s voice makes me jump and I drop my damn coffee.
“Ma! What the hell?!” I demand, glaring her.
“Why is there a fucking bull in the lounge?!”
A bull?
“Yes a motherfucking bull!” She yells and grabs my arm, dragging me up the steps. And there, as she said, is a bull, which has been eating my decorations and crapping all over the house!
“How the fuck did it get in?!” I demand.
“I let it in.” I whirl round to face Uncle Vic.
“What the fuck for?!”
“It’s our present to you. A symbolic gesture, if you will. This is us telling you that you are a bull in a china shop, trampling over everything that gets in your way!”
“Get it out of here!” I scream. “And you can get out too! You didn’t want me at your wedding and I don’t want you at mine!”
“What wedding?” I turn around to face the door and stare at Brian, who has Justin at his side.
“What do you mean what wedding?! You know damn full well what fucking wedding!” I turn to Justin. “Sorry Blonde Fat Ass, but Brian has realised where his heart lies and it’s with me!”
“Wow.” Blonde Fat Ass says as he looks round and leads Brian in. “So you’re going to marry my husband in this?”
I stare as people start to come in and they start to laugh and point.
“It would’ve looked better if Uncle Vic hadn’t ruined it with that!” I shout and then pause. “I beg your fucking pardon! What do you mean your husband?!”
“You were there when we made the announcement that we were getting married at the same time as Vic and Rodney. Why is this a surprise to you?”
Why is this a surprise to me?!!
“Brian! You will explain to me what the fuck is going on! And I mean, right fucking now!”
“I don’t have to explain anything to you. I thought I made it clear the last time...seriously, why would this be a good idea? In the highly unlikely event of us ever getting married, why would I get married wearing this? And you’d be wearing that?!” Brian scoffs.
“Brian.” I growl. “Don’t tell me you went through with this...this travesty of a marriage with him?! Because I will tell him what you and I have been talking about!”
“And what’s that exactly?” He replies... but his lips aren’t moving.
“What is going on?”
“I said what’s that exactly?” He repeats, but now he’s looking at the door. So I turn to look where he is looking in surprise.
“What the…” Blonde Ass is gaping. “Who is doing that?!”
“That would be me.” Daphne replies in Brian’s voice. “We wanted to keep this... irritant occupied in a way that would be guaranteed to hold his attention.” She continues in his voice. “So I pretended to be you, Brian, so that he was getting what he thought he deserved. And we did this Michael, so that Brian could get married to the man he loves in peace!”
“This was your fucking idea!” I scream at Blonde Ass and take a step, but don’t look where I’m going and step in a cowpat, landing on my ass. I scramble up and put my hand in another and taking a handful of it, I try to throw it at him but it’s too gloopy!
“Neither of them knew!” Ma spits at me. “This was us! All of us, wanted to teach you what it felt like to be treated like you always treated him. Hurts, doesn’t it?!”
“But I’m your son!” I shout.
“And you’re supposed to be his best friend!” She snarls and grabs my bag then starts to go through it.
“What are you doing?! That’s private!” I try to grab it back, but she’s too quick.
“I know you!” She dumps the contents out and snatches up the document wallet. “Aha...let me see here!”
“Give me that!” I scream and lunge at her, but again, she’s too fucking quick! It doesn’t help that with every step I take, I slip on fucking bull shit!
“So this would be the cost to him for marriage to you, huh? He would have to send Gus and Ruby away!”
The room goes silent.
“Oh, it gets better. Listen to this: He wants an increased share of 10% in the company for every year that they are married. After all, you agreed that without his actions you would not have Kinnetic. If there is infidelity on Brian’s side, as he would remain true to you, in the settlement he also gets the loft…furnished to his taste.”
“How could you do that?” He glares at them all and I smirk...I knew it! I knew he would be steamed at them for tricking me! “Why didn’t you tell us?! I could’ve gotten him to do anything!” Brian starts to laugh. “Whose idea was the bull?”
“That would be me!” Marcel puts his hand up. “And we also cancelled the officiant so you couldn’t have gotten married today anyway, Asshole Boy!”
What?!
“Why have you done this to me?! What have I done to any of you?!” I yell at him.
“Brian gives back to the Avenue! What do you do, apart from coattail and freeload, that is?!” Marcel shouts at me. “For you, as his best friend, to insist that he send his children away is absolutely heinous!”
“They wouldn’t be that far away!” I protest. “They would just be living with Mel, where they should be any fucking way!”
“Come on, let’s go.” Brian sighs and takes Blonde Ass’s hand.
“Wait, Brian! Where are you going? What about me?!” I reach for him, but Marcel steps between us.
“What about you? I told you then and I’m telling you now, I no longer know you!” He says to me.
“Ma, what about you? Do you no longer know me, too?” I turn my tearful face to her.
“Sadly I do Michael, but I will no longer be your prop. Clean this mess up!”
“It’s your fucking house, you clean it up!” I spit back, all thoughts of crying long gone.
“It’s not my house.” She replies with a cold, sly smile.
“What do you mean?” I ask, warily.
“I sold it a couple of weeks back and am moving in with Carl.” She smirks, while I just gape at her.
“Sold it?! Sold it to who?!”
“Someone who likes things very clean! Needless to say, that the bill for the clean up, if you don’t do it yourself, will be very high indeed!” She laughs. “I’m going to miss this place, but I have my memories. Let’s go to Georgie’s, those who are coming now! Marcel, we will see you later!”
“Mar...seriously how the fuck did I miss that?!” Franc grouses and everyone, but me, laughs.
“It’s his middle name and there is a bar called London Soho in Lawrenceville. So technically, it wasn’t a lie.” Raymond laughs and drags a protesting Franc, out.
“JUST A FUCKING MINUTE! WHAT ABOUT ME?!” I bellow at the top of my lungs.
“You clean and you leave. Nobody wants you around here anymore.” Uncle Vic retorts and slowly everyone files out, leaving just myself and Marcel.
“I like things very, very clean!” He snarls and hands me a shovel. But then the door opens again and this time it's Brian and his husband, who come back in.
“How did you think that I would ever agree to any of that?” He sneers. “My children are the most important people in my life and…”
“Hear that Blonde Ass...you’re not as important as his children!” I snark.
“And that’s how it should be. And before you start in on Debs, he said children not man-child!”
I look at the shovel that has a large cowpat in it and a slow smile spreads across my face.
“Want to spend Christmas in jail? Then do what you’re thinking of doing because not only will you miss, but I will have you arrested for attempted assault. And luckily for me, my soon to be father-in-law happens to be a serving police officer.”
I lower the shovel and glare at Brian. “You forget that I know everything about you, Brian. As well as what you did to Stockwell; just wait till I tell Vance about the things you used to do with clients...”
“Go ahead and run to Vance. In fact, make a meeting right now. Cyn is outside and I look forward to hearing about everything I did.”
“What does that mean?” I spit.
“I own VanGuard Advertising. Vance is no longer there; he’s off licking his wounds after I finally booted him off the board. You have nothing on me. You are nobody.” And without another look at me, he takes Blond Ass out of the house.
“I know you, Brian! You will come back to me when you’re sick and tired of his fat ass!!”
“The only person he is sick and tired of AND his flat ass is you! Now clean up my fucking house!”
https://www.foodwine.com/food/kgk/1099/pajon.html
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/truffle-burger-3363430
http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/perrys-turkey-wings-2427799
http://www.geniuskitchen.com/recipe/whole-roast-suckling-pig-462315
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/blackberry_delice_with_29437