TED

I came to Pittsburgh to help Cynthia, and so Brandon could hang out with Kevin and Jason, who missed him not being around. I told Brandon we could meet at Woody's after I was done. He wanted to celebrate with his friends before we went back.

No surprise, Michael was there, drowning his life in a bottle. I could have been him, if Brandon hadn’t come into my life. I would have waited for Blake and the relationship I wanted us to have, not realizing there was someone who could give me what Blake couldn’t. Unlike Michael, I could go on and have the life I dreamed of with someone else. I'll always love Blake, but it's not going to be the way I love Brandon and the love we have for each other. Michael couldn’t let go of the idea of Brian long enough to see what else was out there.

“I told you he'd get bored with you. He could have anyone, and you think he wanted you.” Michael smirks as he slurs his words.

I was confused, then Michael tilted his head at a group of guys playing pool. Brandon wasn't there. Then I saw Blake kissing the man in his life, and showing off a ring. Why did Michael think that mattered to me, other than being happy for Blake?

“How does it feel to have the man who should have been yours, planning a life without you?” Michael asks.

“He didn’t BELONG to me Michael, he's free to be as happy as I am with Brandon.” I tell him.

“You’re full of shit if you expect me to believe that. You spent years wanting him, and he leaves you for someone who didn't stand by him the way you did. You can't sit there and act like it doesn't tear you apart that he’s giving someone else your life.” He tells me.

“He didn’t owe me his life and happiness just because at one time we supported each other. We parted as friends, and that includes me not seeing his happiness as anything but what I wanted for him. It didn’t have to be him, just like for him, it didn't have to me, for either of us. That's something you never understood.” I tell him, ready to leave this stupid idea and conversation he seems to think makes a difference to me.

“You need to listen to me, you are going to ruin Brandon’s life.” He tells me.

“You think you know all about it, because you ruined every relationship you could have had?” I ask.

“I didn’t love you.” He says, like he thinks it's about him.

“I didn’t really love you either, but why bring that up?” I ask.

“Because maybe I was the reason you and Blake didn’t work. If you tried again you'd have the man you wanted.” He tells me.

“I'm confused, are you talking about you or Blake?” I ask.

“Blake. I'll never want you. You need to want what you can have.” He tells me, as if any of this makes sense in his head.

“I have the man I want, and who wants me, so you’re not making any sense.” I tell him.

“Ted. I thought that was you.” Blake says, coming over and hugging me. “I got engaged.” He tells me, excited.

“I hope he makes you as happy as Brandon makes me.” I tell him.

“He does. But without you being in my life I might have let him go. Thank you for being in my life and telling me not to give up on love.” He tells me, kissing my cheek before running back to his fiance.

“He'll figure it out one day.” Michael mumbles.

“What? Not that it matters.” I tell him.

“He's settling for someone. He’ll end up trapped in a relationship, with kids, wishing for the person he really loves, and unhappy because of the life he's stuck in. You'll end up seeing Brandon for who he is and being miserable because you didn’t listen to me.” He tells me.

“I’ll have Emmett teach me the praise Jesus, that Ted didn’t listen to your advice. Ted, why not go say hi to my friends, they want to congratulate us on the wedding.” Brandon tells me, kissing me in a way that only makes me want us to be somewhere alone.

BRANDON

Kevin told me that Michael was spending all his time getting drunk and doling out advice on how everyone was screwing up their lives. Jason and Kevin had gotten to the point where they stopped feeling sorry for Michael and just stayed away from him. When we walked in, Blake was kissing Ted on the cheek before running back to his group of friends. I can’t say I enjoyed watching it, but I also know that Ted loves me, not Blake. I told my friends to get a table while I got Ted away from Michael. It bothers Ted that Michael is constantly screwing up and I know he wishes there was some way to get Michael to see it.

I heard what Michael was saying, and I wasn’t thrilled he made it sound like I’m going to fuck up with Ted. Michael doesn’t see that Ted holds my heart and always will. I let Ted leave us alone before explaining to Michael what I think of his advice.

“Why do you think you know anything about me or Ted?” I ask.

“I know the man you are, and Ted will never be enough to keep you.” He tells me.

“Just like you know Brian, and that Justin isn’t enough for him? Why do you change the facts, because all it’s getting you the seat at this bar, getting drunk by yourself.” I tell him.

“I know Brian in a way Justin never will. I know he loves me and thinks he’s doing the right thing because Justin fucked him over again.” He tells me.

“What are you talking about now?” I ask.

“Justin trapped Brian again, when I was willing to be there for Brian and the children. Now he’s stuck having a kid because of Justin.” He rants, swallowing his drink in one go.

“Brian wants anything that links him to Justin, because he loves Justin, the way I love Ted. You sitting here trying to make it false in your head, isn’t going to change it. He didn’t want you Michael, and all the tricking wasn’t about him not wanting Justin. I tried to be nice about the bullshit you spew, but you started spewing it about my life with Ted, that’s where I get off the ‘Mikey Train to misery’. If you want to pretend there was anything you could have done to get Brian, go ahead and do it. But do not ever think you have the right to act like you were more to me than a guy who I let hang out when no one wanted to hang out with you. You don’t know the first thing about me or Brian if you think being the ultimate top was really all that should be important. All we were doing was waiting for the men who would complete our lives to appear. I’m going to say this because maybe hearing it from me will make a difference in your mind. Guys don’t spend years being your friend when you give them the green light that they could have you. If Brian had really wanted you, he would have done something about it before he met Justin. It’s time for you to see what your life got you, which isn’t Brian being in trouble for helping the people who want to own Brian, for not giving them what they want, the way you can’t get what you want. He’s not going to love you. I’m not with Ted for any reason other than he’s everything I could want in life.” I tell him.

“You aren’t the guy Ted wants, that would be the twink celebrating his engagement near the pool tables. You really think Ted isn’t settling for you when the man he loved for years found someone else.” He tells me.

“I know at one time Blake was important to Ted, but it’s not the same as the relationship I have with Ted. You keep losing, but you just have to try don’t you?” I ask.

“I need Brian to be what he promised me.” He tells me.

“He would have been your friend, but you made it impossible for him when you hurt the only person he loved. Of course you’ll never see it, because in little Mikey’s head it would mean that you might have been wrong about the trick who wouldn’t leave, and that it was really the best friend who didn’t get it. Have a shitty life, because that’s all you’ll have while the rest of us live the way we want to.” I tell him, leaving him to drown his life.

I started to go to Ted, then turned to thank the man who loved him enough to give him to me. Blake looked up smiling, and got up to hug me. I wished him a good life and got the same back, with a warning that I better give Ted the best life he could ever want. It was not hard to understand why Ted could love Blake, who only wanted everything for Ted. I walked to Ted, but looked over at Michael, who I could tell was confused at what he saw. He would be, because he thought the people in his life couldn’t be happy if he wasn’t.

BRIAN

Emmett and Justin were in the kitchen sampling cake for the wedding. Ted and Brandon had to go to Pittsburgh so Ted could work with the accountants on how he wanted the paperwork done before it reached him. I sat with Hannah, who didn’t get the whole cake thing. It was something Justin told me we needed to figure out before her next birthday.

“It’s too sweet.” Hannah said licking the piece Emmett handed her.

“It’s good.” Gus tells her, grabbing another piece.

“You’ll eat anything.” Hannah tells him pushing her piece to him.

“You make it too much work to eat.” Gus teases her.

“Daddy used to get it, but now he’s as bad as you.” She tells him, picking up her soccer ball to go outside.

“She’s picky.” Gus tells us. “Hey, wait for me, I want to play.” Gus tells Hannah, grabbing cake and running after her.

“I love your kids, but they really make me glad Charles and I aren’t having any.” Emmett tells us.

“You guys really don’t plan to? You seem to love having the kids around.” Justin comments.

“Maybe I’ll change my mind, but there are also other kids who we could help without having babies. We were talking about fostering kids someday. We’re just past the age where having kids of our own would be easy. I couldn’t do it at forty, no offence Brian.” He tells me.

“I’m not forty yet.” I grumble.

“Are you guys going to find out if it’s a boy or girl?” Emmett asks, changing the subject when I glare at him.

I look over at Justin who pretends to be reading what’s in the cake. The twat kept a secret from Emmett? We went to find out when the shit with Craig came up, because Justin at least wanted to tell Craig if it was a boy or girl, in case he couldn’t make it to the birth. I also wanted to talk to Justin, because Craig wasn’t doing well and I know Justin wanted to be with his father as much as he could until Craig was gone. I couldn’t hate the man anymore, because he worked to be the father Justin loved as a child. He made sure Gus and Hannah knew he loved them, and I couldn’t stay angry when my children loved the man.

Summer was coming and we could stay in Pittsburgh for it. I planned to work, but not as much as I usually did, because I was more tired than I’ve ever been. I had Jen look into a house we could rent, in case Justin wanted to be there with Craig. Craig and I knew it was time to tell Justin that traveling was too much for him. I didn’t look forward to that conversation, because it was going to hurt both Justin and Molly. I promised Craig I’d let him tell Justin, and we agreed that after Ted’s wedding was the best time. Craig didn’t want a cloud over Justin on a happy occasion for everyone. I respected him for wanting to keep Justin happy as long as possible before he was told devastating news. The idea about staying in Pittsburgh was my way of giving Justin time enjoy having his father before he lost him again. Only this time it would be worse, because Justin had the father he loved back, or maybe it would have been worse either way, because as much as I hated Jack, it still hurt when he left my life.

“Wait, you know?” Emmett asks a fidgeting Justin.

“I want to wait to tell my Dad... if we have to.” Justin tells him.

“He’ll make it to see the baby, where do you think you got your determination from?” I ask Justin, not promising, because as much as I want to, it’s not something I can control.

“I love you.” Justin tells me, sticking a triple chocolate cake in front of me.