BRIAN

I didn’t ask Justin anything, and didn’t even listen to the session. Just handed everything to the lawyer to do with what she thought she should. She told me the only thing the judge needed to hear was Lindsay threatening Justin. I left it alone, because he told me to.

I was walking out of work, thinking a pizza was sounding like the best idea in the world. I just had to make sure to get Hannah something she would eat. Normally I’m with Hannah, there is nothing all that fantastic about bread, but well, this baby seems to think all my years of working out weren’t important when it wanted food. I was walking by a restaurant and the smell was so overpowering that I turned to try to find a place to throw up.

Michael stood there blocking the alley, and well, the baby seemed to think Michael needed a little something extra. I think I vomited breakfast and lunch, and maybe a late night snack that I had thought was a good idea. Michael stood there staring at me, shaking out his shirt.

“Brian, it’s obvious that Justin doesn’t take care of you.” He tells me.

“Fuck.” Was all I got out before puking in his hair. “This baby is going to be the death of me.” I tell him, hailing a cab and leaving him staring at me.

I got home before I realized what I had said to him. I walked in the house and went upstairs to shower the ick off me. Justin came in to let me know dinner was ready.

“I threw up on Michael.” I tell him.

“Where did you see him?” Justin asks.

“He was following me from work. I thought I’d get a pizza, and didn’t get past the Indian restaurant. He made the mistake of thinking we needed to talk. Baby decided to give him a show.” I tell him, getting out.

“How are you today my little hero?” Justin asks, as he kisses my belly.

And as usual I stood at attention, and Justin kissed that too, before taking me in his mouth. He massaged my balls while sucking the head and running his tongue along the vein under my cock, I leaned back as he continued to swallow my length and thrust his fingers into me, rubbing my prostate. I came, and used the wall to keep standing. Justin got up and kissed me before walking out.

“You don’t want?” I ask him.

“Later, when there aren't two children downstairs waiting for Dad to have dinner with them. Plus, I thought you deserved that for what you did to Michael.” He tells me, laughing all the way down the stairs.

MICHAEL

I couldn’t move, he really couldn't have said what he did. A woman came out of the restaurant and yelled for me to go somewhere else. Didn't she get that my world just crashed? I left when she came back with a broom, like she planned to sweep me away. I started walking until I got to the house Miles told me Emmett lives in. I needed someone to tell me it was wrong. Brian would never let anyone… God I can’t even say it.

“Michael?” Emmett’s partner asks, wrinkling his nose at me.

“Is Emmett here?” I ask.

“No, he’s with your mother, trying to find you. It's time for you to go home. I honestly don't understand why you think Emmett would want to talk to you.” He tells me.

“I need him to tell me it's not true.” I tell him, lost.

“Look, could you hose off or something. I'll bring you a towel and something to put on, before we talk about anything.” He tells me, pointing to the backyard.

I went and got cleaned, trying to pretend what Brian said was wrong, but the evidence was on me and the ground. Charles came out and handed me stuff to change into.

“We can talk out here, because I'm doing more than Emmett would like, by letting you in our yard.” He tells me.

“We used to be friends, but…”

“No Michael, you were never a friend to anyone. They at one time thought you were a friend, but realized you don't understand friendship.” He interrupts me.

“I took Emmett in when he needed a place to stay.” I argue.

“Then tossed him aside for being a friend to the guy who got everything you wanted. Sorry, but letting him be your roommate who paid half the rent, doesn’t sound like anything but you needed someone to help you out.” He tells me.

“If he hadn't run off with Justin, we'd still be friends.” I tell him.

“Justin seems to be the answer for everything you feel is wrong with your life. Maybe instead of blaming Justin for going on with his life, see that your faults lie in you.” He tells me.

“They all flock around him. He's nothing but an interloper.” I tell him.

“Michael where do you come up with Justin being the interloper? He left and made a life for himself, he didn’t come around trying to make people think he belonged where he didn’t, or get involved in things that have nothing to do with him. The people who flock to him, want him in their lives. I did question the whole Brian situation, but it was because I didn’t know or understand what made him special in Justin’s eyes. I also didn’t get involved because it was Justin and Brian’s lives to live. You seem to think you know all the answers, and when no one agrees, you go out of your way to be the interloper.” He tells me.

“Justin got to you too. I planned to make Hannah welcome in my life, because she was Brian’s.” I tell him.

“Why would you think you were welcome in Hannah’s world? And before you bring up Gus, that won't happen either. Why aren't you getting that none of them want or trust you in their lives. How many doors need to slam in your face before you realize you threw it all away years ago?” He asks.

“Brian thinks he has to be with Justin. I only wanted to show him he didn’t owe Justin anything. He never wanted Justin, but no one gets that.” I tell him.

“I think you need to hear some facts, not what you and Lindsay seem to have made up. Brian came back, he didn’t do it to see you, but to find Justin. He never forgot, what was it you like to call Justin? “The twink who wouldn’t leave?” For Brian, it was the man he never forgot. When they met again, Justin didn’t leap into his arms, because you and your faction made it clear that Brian wanted you. Which left Brian having to show Justin that none of you had a clue to what Brian Kinney wants, which is Justin Taylor. Not because of Hannah, but because he loves Justin.  Brian wanted marriage and talked Justin into it, with the promise that all the things that cause problems for them, would not rear their ugly heads. Yet rear they do, and think there's still some part of Brian that belongs to only them. He moved his family away, and yet you still think it's just responsibility to Brian. What will it take for you to see that whatever you want won't happen, and let them be?” He asks.

“Brian hated what Justin represents.” I tell him.

“Yet you seem to want to give Brian what he already has with Justin. Why do you think because it's you, he'd think it was better?” He asks.

“Brian promised me those things.” I tell him.

“So you really don't believe Brian hates it, just that it should be you who gets it? Lindsay seems to believe the same thing. Why is it Justin’s fault that Brian didn’t want what you and Lindsay wanted?” He asks.

“Lindsay was never getting anything from Brian. We all knew that, she’s just pissed that Justin once again became the center of attention. Brian really shouldn’t be taking Gus from her.” I tell him, not liking what he’s saying. He makes me sound like Lindsay.

“All I can see is that you're headed to the padded cell next to Lindsay if you don’t get your life in order, and start living for more than your fantasy that Brian wanted anything from you. He’s moved on, and doesn’t want you or Lindsay in the life he’s creating with Justin.” He tells me.

“I love how you think you know Lindsay, Brian, or me. Brian came to us when he needed friends, and he loved us. He never once told Justin he loved them.” I tell him.

“For Brian saying it to you and Lindsay became meaningless. I think he didn’t say it to Justin because it didn’t encompass all he feels about Justin. Anyone can say they love you, but it doesn’t mean they really do. For Brian, it was in everything he did to get Justin to believe in him again. He didn’t believe it was over for them, and did what it took to get Justin to see it wasn’t impossible that Brian loved him. Brian showed it by wanting Justin to have the things that Brian wasn’t sure he could give him. I would say that Justin not waiting around for Brian to take care of him, probably showed Brian that Justin wasn’t going to let him waltz in and out of his life. If he wanted a life with Justin, he had to show that what happened in the past wouldn’t happen in their future. Brian couldn’t let people like you or Lindsay near Justin, because you’re poison to him and Justin.” He tells me.

“We told the truth, Justin didn’t like hearing it.” I tell him.

“Michael here’s the truth, Brian doesn’t love you and he isn’t going to. Coming here just shows him why he doesn’t need you in his life. You didn’t come to wish him well, but to try to destroy anything in Brian’s life that didn’t include you.” Emmett tells me, standing with Ma.

“I kept talking so you could get here, but it’s not like anything seems to get through to your son.” Charles tells Ma.

“Michael it’s time to go home, run your shop, and live the lonely life you built for yourself.” Ma tells me.

“Not until someone tells me it’s a lie.” I tell them.

“What’s a lie, that Brian will suddenly wake up and realize you were the one for him?” Emmett sneers at me.

“He said… the… the… baby... “ I stopped, because I couldn’t say it.

“If they want you to know anything they’ll tell you. Go home, I like the life I built without your disapproval.” Emmett tells me, walking into his home slamming the door.

“Son, it’s time you and I stopped believing that we know anything. Staying here will only show you how little you knew Brian.” She tells me.

“Staying here only means watching from the outside, while all the people you thought of as friends go on being happy without you.” Charles tells me.

“He’ll come back to me.” I tell him, stomping past Ma.

I know it, I refuse to believe anything else. I don’t care if I have to wait until we’re two queens living in Palm Springs, it will happen. Ma followed behind me.

“Michael, is that really what you want to be, the only queen living in Palm Springs one day? Why not go out and find someone who wants to join you there.” She tells me.

“I’m not letting you drag me back like a child.” I tell her.

“I only came to tell you that if you don’t come back, I’m going to unlock your shop and put a free sign on the windows. How are you planning on supporting yourself when the store is empty? I really think you need to think about the unholy alliance you have with the Peterson twits. Carl already told me the DA only needs to know you’re still involved, to put your ass in jail too.” She tells me leaving for a cab.