Close to Home

+ Eight +

Justin sat silently in the passenger seat as Brian drove them back to the loft. He wasn't sure what to say and he didn't want to piss Brian off. He had made a decision when he saw Brian and Gus together. He thought maybe tonight was the time to act on it.

"I … I'm glad you talked me into going tonight," Brian said rather reluctantly. He wanted Justin to know that he appreciated what the young man had done.

"You talked yourself into it," Justin said with a little sideways grin.

"Not without some strategic prodding from you."

"Maybe," Justin agreed with a bigger grin. "Gus is a cute little guy."

"Yeah. Who would have thought, me a parent?"

"I bet you make a great father."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Brian said with a shake of his head.

"Why not?"

"Long, family tradition."

"Your father wasn't a good father?"

"I'd say he ranks somewhere between Attila the Hun and Beelzebub."

"Jesus, how can anyone be that bad?"

"The Kinneys have it down to a fine art."

"Well I don't believe you'll be like that. I could tell as soon as I saw you holding Gus."

"Tell what?"

"That you loved him. You held him so gently and when he touched your nose…"

Brian felt his eyes well up at the memory of that moment. He cleared his throat trying to regain control. "What about your father?" Brian asked hoping to change the subject.

"Hmpff," Justin replied.

"What does that mean?"

"He's an asshole."

"Welcome to the club," Brian said with a rueful grin.

"I don't think he's as bad as yours though," Justin replied.

"So what did he do?"

"He was great until I came out to him."

"That will usually do it."

"He told me he expected me to go to Dartmouth and marry an appropriate girl and never mention my unseemly urges again."

"Hm, unseemly urges. I haven't heard that one before."

"What did your father call it?"

"My father doesn't know."

"Really?"

"Really! The old fuck never wanted me in his life, so he has no say in mine. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing."

"What about your mother?"

"Christ, she'd be worse. Have me burning in Hell two seconds after she found out."

"They sound … awful."

"They are awful," Brian said softly. He rarely thought about them anymore. He didn't want to now either. "What about your mother?"

"She's been great. She never gave up on me or turned away. She helped me however she could. Her father, my grandfather, put me through PIFA. My own father wouldn't give me a fucking cent."

"You're lucky to have her."

"I know."

They had arrived at the building on Tremont. Brian drove around the back and parked the van in his spot. They made their way into the building. It was almost dawn.

While they waited for the elevator Brian said, "Justin, you can go home. I … I won't do anything." They both understood what he was referring to. "Besides, somebody stole all my pills." Brian looked up at Justin with that crooked smile that could melt anyone's heart.

"I told Cynthia that I'd stay till she arrived."

"I know but that was in different circumstances … yesterday."

"I'm coming up with you," Justin stated making it clear there was to be no further discussion of the matter.

Brian sighed. He didn't need a babysitter. He wanted Justin to stay but not as his warden. They rode the elevator to the top. Brian unlocked the door and turned to face Justin.

"You should go home," Brian repeated.

"I don't want to." Blue eyes stared into hazel ones. Justin did his best to convey exactly what he meant. He didn't think Brian was getting it, or else he was simply refusing to get it. He leaned over and kissed Brian gently on the lips. Maybe that would clarify his message. "I want to stay … with you."

Brian felt that glimmer of hope again. Could he trust it this time? Did he dare? He pulled back the loft door and wheeled inside. He turned his chair to face Justin who stayed on the other side of the threshold waiting for the invitation he wanted.

"How do you even know I can get it up?" Brian asked pointedly, his innate sarcasm rising to the surface. He wanted Justin to understand the situation he was buying into.

"I'm an artist. I'm very observant. I've seen the tent in your pants. Besides, I'd have to be dead not to feel the wood under my butt when you gave me that chair ride the other night, or was that last night. Geez, so much has happened."

Brian snorted. "I'm pretty observant too." They both knew what he was talking about.

"So do I come in?" Justin asked.

"It's your call," Brian stated. Justin would have to decide for himself. Brian wouldn't stoop to asking.

"Oh no you don't," Justin said. "You have a role in this too. Don't pretend that I have to make all the decisions. Do you want me to come in?"

Brian knew that he was really asking if Brian wanted him. He was about to tell him to go home again when he heard a strangled, "Yes." He almost looked around to see who had said it, when he realized it had come as a growl wrenched from somewhere deep inside him.

Justin stepped across the threshold and into something he wanted and needed and that scared him, but it was something he had to do as surely as he had to take his next breath. He sat down on Brian's lap and wrapped his arms around the man's neck. He turned so he could look into Brian's eyes. He saw longing and need … and fear. He wanted to erase that fear, make it unnecessary and forgotten.

The kiss began slowly and softly. He felt Brian respond but still hold back. His tongue pressed against Brian's lips asking for admittance. He held his breath understanding on some deep level how hard this was for Brian, the level of trust that was required to go ahead with what they were going to do. He pressed his lips harder against Brian's and felt them yield to the pressure and to him. He was in. His tongue dueled with Brian's, tasting and exploring. The kiss went on and on as Brian's tongue battled back and demanded entrance to Justin's mouth. Finally they had to break apart or die from lack of oxygen. Death might have been preferable to separation.

"That was some fucking kiss!" Brian breathed.

"Yeah."

"More," Brian groaned and captured Justin's mouth again.

The next time they came up for air they were both hard and panting. Justin nuzzled against Brian's neck.

"I want you in me," he whispered afraid to look at Brian in case he was turned down.

He felt a growl rumble up from Brian's chest. Arms folded tighter around him and his lips were crushed in another kiss. That was the reaction he had been looking for.

Suddenly he felt Brian shove him off his lap. He stood up abruptly. "What the fuck?" he stammered.

"Lock the fucking door," Brian ordered his eyes dark with lust.

Justin beamed a smile when he realized why Brian had pushed him away. "Yes, sir."

Brian went over to the desk while Justin locked the door. He pulled out a condom and tube of lube and set them on top of the desk.

"Where?" Justin asked. Brian shrugged. "How about right here?"

Justin walked towards Brian knowing that he held both their fates in his hands. He leaned down and kissed Brian. He felt Brian's hands move under his T-shirt and lift it up. He broke the kiss as the shirt came over his head. He felt Brian's hands surround his breasts and pull at each nipple. He groaned at the sensation. He reached for Brian's wifebeater and pulled it off. He immediately began working on the buttons of Brian's jeans. He could tell by the bulge that Brian was already hard. He was too, so hard it hurt, but in a positive life-affirming way. He shucked off Brian's shoes and socks in a flash. Brian planted his hands on the sides of his wheelchair seat. He lifted himself up raising his hips so his jeans and underwear could be pulled down by Justin. They disappeared quickly as Justin tossed them aside.

Brian's cock stood red and proud. Justin's hand instinctively went around it and he felt it jump in response. He smiled at Brian and leaned down to give him another kiss. Brian grabbed Justin's jeans, unzipped them and pushed them down to his knees. Justin quickly stepped out of them toeing off his shoes and socks with them. He stood naked in front of Brian.

Brian felt his heart pound. He ached to possess this beautiful man. He knew this wasn't going to be just another fuck. That's what the hustlers were for. His eyes surveyed the young man standing in all his glory. His breath caught in his throat as Justin stepped towards him. Justin spread his legs straddling the wheelchair and settled into Brian's lap. Their cocks collided with a delicious force. Brian would have to thank Trey for getting him this new chair without arms.

Justin wound his arms around Brian's neck and found the soft, inviting mouth once again. The kiss was deep and promised so much. They wanted each other physically but they both knew something more profound was happening. Justin bucked against Brian their cocks rubbing against each other. They moaned into the continuing kiss.

Brian clasped the slender body against him, crushing their dicks between them. His hands roamed along Justin's back as they kissed. Gradually his hands worked their way down to cup the soft, but firm, buttocks. Justin moaned into Brian's mouth. Brian's fingers passes over Justin's hole and he felt the blond jump in expectation. He reached behind him and grabbed the lube. He squirted some onto his hand as Justin watched, his blue eyes almost sapphire color with lust. Brian lubed around Justin's hole making sure he got plenty on his finger. He kissed Justin's lips as his finger began to probe. Justin gasped as the finger pierced the first ring of muscle.

"It's been a while," Justin gasped as Brian stretched and worked at loosening the pucker.

Gradually Justin began to move up and down fucking himself on the finger. Brian added another finger and Justin moaned throwing his head back and accepting the invasion. The look of pure ecstasy on the young man's face almost made Brian cum. It was time for more.

"Stand up," he ordered.

Justin rose up stepping back from the wheelchair and its occupant. Brian grabbed the condom and ripped it open with his teeth. He handed it to Justin who rolled it along Brian's cock. Brian squirted some lube on it and spread it over the surface with his palm. He gave his cock a couple of tugs before holding it upright in front of him.

"Ready?" he asked.

Justin nodded and straddled him once again. He lowered himself until he felt the cock head press against his pucker. He slowly lowered himself onto it, feeling it breach the muscle and enter him. He grimaced at the size but after a moment to adjust he sat down on Brian's lap taking all of Brian's length inside him. He stayed still staring into Brian's eyes and relishing the feeling of being filled and complete.

Brian groaned as Justin sat down. The young man was so tight. Brian's dick throbbed at the warmth and constriction and feeling of completeness. He looked into Justin's eyes and saw such trust and openness there.

"I have you right where I want you," Justin whispered, his mouth against Brian's ear.

Brian snorted. His hands on Justin's hips he lifted the young man up. Justin's toes touched the floor and he pushed up as well until he felt just the head of Brian's cock inside. He sat down taking it all in again. Brian groaned. Justin raised up repeating the previous movements. This time they both moaned as he sat down. Justin lifted again constricting his anal muscles around the throbbing cock. Brian moaned loudly and opened his eyes. Justin smiled at him. He began to increase the speed of his up and down movements. He needed more and so did Brian.

Justin leaned in kissing Brian once again. He bounced in the man's lap tightening and loosening his grip on the steel rod up his ass. He was driving himself crazy with the friction and heat and contact. Brian was having trouble hanging on too if his moans were any indication.

The chair bounced across the floor as their coupling became more frantic.

"Ouch," Brian grimaced.

"What?" Justin asked afraid he'd hurt Brian somehow.

"I forgot to set the brake on the chair and it just rammed into the corner of the desk."

"Fix it!" Justin ordered beginning to move even more quickly up and down Brian's length.

Brian jammed on the brake as Justin wrapped his legs around Brian and the chair. His up and down movements were becoming frantic as he pushed them both closer to orgasm.

"Oh God, Brian! I'm close," he yelled.

"Me too," Brian gasped.

Justin continued to pump his hips over Brian. The chair skidded some more even with the brake on. Brian could hear items rattling around on the desk behind him as Justin's movements shook the furniture and them right to their souls. Justin chewed on Brian's lips between gasps for air. His arms clutched Brian's neck. His cock jabbed at Brian's stomach with each thrust. His heart pounded. His lungs screamed for more air.

"Now!" he yelled as he shot his load between them.

Brian felt Justin's hole contract around his cock. The heat and friction had driven him close to insanity. This drove him over the edge. He filled the condom as he moaned, "Justin, Justin, Justin."

Justin slumped down exhausted. He had done most of the work but it had been so worth it. His head rested against the side of Brian's neck as he tried to breathe. It had been a while for him, but he knew it had never been like this, never before and maybe never again. He smiled to himself in complete satisfaction.

Brian could swear that Justin was smiling. He could feel the muscles in the man's face curling up into a smile against his neck. He knew he was smiling too. He had never felt anything like this since the accident. Hell, he wasn't sure he'd ever felt this. His softening dick was still up the blond's ass. His arms still encircled the slim frame and he held Justin close, afraid to release him. He didn't want this to be over.

Justin shifted a bit. His leg was going to cramp if he didn't move. He heard Brian groan as Justin lifted up. Brian's dick slid out and they both felt the loss.

"Oh fuck, Justin," Brian whispered.

"I had to move," Justin apologized.

"That was…amazing."

"Fantastic."

"Fabulous."

"Extraordinary."

"My brain is too fried to think of any more adjectives. But that was … grrrrrrrrreat!" Brian said into Justin's ear.

Justin giggled. The sound and warm breath tickled. "You sound like Tony the Tiger." He stood up deciding he better move while he still could.

"How do you know Tony?" Brian asked cleaning himself up and getting rid of the condom.

"Love Frosted Flakes."

"I should have known. That must be where you get that bubble butt," Brian observed as Justin bent over to pick up some of the clothes that would be in the way of the wheelchair.

Justin turned towards him, a strange look passing over his face. He shook his head and turned to throw the rest of the clothes on the sofa. "It's daylight, but I'm beat," Justin said slowly.

"Neither of us got much sleep last night."

"I could use a shower," Justin said.

"Me too, and then a couple of hours shuteye."

"I … I should go home, take a shower and get some clean clothes," Justin said. He wondered if Brian wanted to get rid of him now that they had had sex.

"You don't have to," Brian said. That sounded hopeful.

"I think I better, but I could come back later," Justin said with a smile. Suddenly his face clouded over. "Shit! I have a meeting at ten and then a shitload of stuff to get organized later in the day. I better go." He started pulling on his jeans.

"If you have to," Brian said with a touch of sadness.

"I have to. I'm not sure when I'll get back to the apartment. It's going to be hectic the next couple of days."

"I see," Brian said hurt by the sudden change in Justin and his need to go home. Before they got to the loft he couldn't get rid of the blond. Now it seemed he couldn't wait to get out of there and didn't know when he'd be back. Brian wondered if their fuck hadn't been quite as good as Justin had said.

Justin gathered the rest of his clothes. He moved to the loft door. "Sorry I have to run. I'll call you." The door slid shut behind him.

Brian wondered when Justin would call - tonight, tomorrow, next week, never. Maybe he had just made another colossal mistake.