CHAPTER 17 - RENDERED SPEECHLESS

CAR JOURNEY TO NEW YORK

BRIAN

Yes! I get to drive! Ruth is on navigation duties and Justin is in the back stretched out working on our return journey. This car drives like a dream.  

“Hey Justin, you got the route worked out?”  He nods slowly at Ruth’s question then hands over his iPad and she starts to put it in the satnav. “You want the wedding suite at Heavenly and I assume that you will be placating a highly pissed off but excitable Daph so she needs a room right?”

“Oh yes!” Justin laughs. “This pays her back for Paris!”  I catch his eye and he winks at me.  

“And of course we have to buy our wedding outfits. We’ve got the rings at home but we want to get something to remember this auspicious occasion. We’re going to get matching watches, what do you want?”

Ruth looks up from inputting before shaking her head. “Nothing, honestly. You being happy is all I want...actually no, I know what I want!  Them removed from the account!”

“Done!” We laugh and I can’t help the snort when Justin does his happy dance!

BEN & HUNTER’S HOUSE

KITCHEN

HUNTER

It’s now or never. “Dad, can I ask you a question?” He nods looking at me carefully.  “Are you and Michael definitely over? As in he’s never coming back?”

“Definitely.”

“So can we redecorate? I know this sounds bratty but I want him gone from here in every way.”  

He looks surprised and then smiles. “Hunter, it’s your house. You want to redecorate then that’s what we do. It might take some time, so why not start from the top down.”

“So why don't you take that off?”  I point at his hand and for a second there’s a flicker of sadness before he slides it off his finger.  “You got a guy before and you’ll get another one who is much better.” He huffs a quiet breath. “You will! You just have to believe yourself worthy and you are!”

He stands and gives me a hug. “Thank you son.” He whispers and I swallow my tears hating that guy so much!

DEBS & CARL’S HOUSE - EARLY EVENING

MICHAEL’S OLD ROOM

CARL

“Ouch for fuck sake!” Debs grouses as yet again she bangs her knee on the box as she tries to navigate her way across to close the window. “I have had enough of this! First thing I’m doing tomorrow is calling to get him to come and move this shit out of here. It's been here long enough!”

“Who and what are you talking about?”  I help her to get across to the door.

“Michael, these are his, those damn toys!”  She’s about to go downstairs when she stops.  “Do you think Brian and Justin know about them?”

I sigh.  “I think you should at least tell Ted and call Ben to see if they have the same storage issue.”

She bites her lip, but then nods and pulls out her phone. “Ben, it’s Debs. Has Michael got any toys in your place? He does. Hunter’s doing what?  No stop him!  Ben, stop him and call Carl back!  I need to call Ted!”

Fifteen minutes later, Ben calls me back. Luckily, Hunter hadn't got far. Debs is pacing with impatience, waiting for Ted to call her back as he was at a client dinner. An hour later, she is trying not to call Michael and rip his head off!

“You’ve done the right thing, no matter what he's going to say.  Debs, if these and the stuff at Ben’s are accounted for then it's not your problem. And if not, then again, it’s not your problem. Brian is not stupid. He would’ve made sure that he has his business head on, friend or no friend. And it is a business arrangement, which Michael has mostly benefited from.”

“What the fuck am I going to do with that boy?!”  She grumbles.

“Stop treating him like one.” I tell her gently.  “He’s a grown man with responsibilities. This is one of them so let him deal with the consequences of his actions.”

HEAVENLY RETREATS - THURSDAY LATE MORNING

BRIAN & JUSTIN’S SUITE

DAPH

Extermination, no evisceration, will be happening the moment I get within reaching distance of those two friends of Brian’s!  Ruth is looking at me with amusement.  

“So you are all caught up on what’s been happening. I’m disappointed, I expected a much fiercer reaction.”

I crack my knuckles. “I’m saving it for when I see them. They need to feel exactly how happy I am up close and personal!”

The door opens and a grinning Brian and Justin come in. I scream and leap into Brian’s arms and he almost buckles.  “I see Paris has agreed with you. Is there a bit more junk in your trunk?!”

“Oh yes definitely! And where are my treats?!”  Justin demands.

“Do you want to eat it or wear it?”  I threaten.

“Well he can wear it and then I can eat it. See it’s a win-win.”  Justin leers.

The door knocks and Ruth goes to open it.  “Just put it over there for me doll.  Can you bring the Kobe and Waygu platter with the lobster hush puppies and fries, and a salad, up as soon as it is ready, for 4. Daph, you’re okay with lobster, right?”

“Uh yeah.”  I look confused at Justin, who just shrugs and waits for the champagne to be opened. When the guy goes, I look at all three of them. “Okay, what’s going on?  You’ve ordered some high end stuff.”  Brian and Justin look at each other, their smiles getting bigger and bigger. “Rapidly losing what is left of good humour!  If you don’t tell me right…”

“We’re married. As of now, we’ve been married for 78 minutes.”  

I sit down very slowly.  “Say that again.”

“Married... Brian and I are married. Now don’t get upset and start throwing things. But someone wisely told us that our wedding is about us.  So we just did it and fuck what the Pittsburgh posse wants to say.” I look at Brian and he just nods. “No fooling Daph. He’s mine now and forever!”

I bawl like a baby and that sets off Ruth. “I’m so h-happy!” I snivel when I’ve managed to compose myself a bit better.

“We see that.” Brian laughs, handing me another tissue and then hands one to Ruth.  

Soon we are tucking into the wedding brunch. I still can’t fucking believe it! “Wait! When are you going to tell them all?”

“Obviously, we need to tell Mother Taylor first.”  Brian winces a bit.  “And to be honest, apart from her, we weren’t going to. But we don’t want certain people to use it as a cudgel to metaphorically beat us with, and by us I mean Justin.” Brian remarks with his trademark sneer.  “Sunday should be so much fun!”

“Oh it will be for me.” Ruth looks smugly at him and he frowns. “Because I get to drive this baby home!”

“Can we swap please; can we swap?!”  Brian begs. I have never seen him beg. “It’s a new Atalanta, how can you do that to me?!”

“Nah, this is my personal baby and the only person that fucks in that is me!”

“Brian, let me see!” Justin demands before whistling. “Can we at least kiss in it at the blessing?”

“Sure but no tongues!”  She giggles.

JENNIFER TAYLOR’S CONDO - EARLY AFTERNOON

JENNIFER

I’m waiting for Carl to drop Debbie off so we can have a chat. Seems that Italian Mother’s Guilt has hit big time and she’s regretting telling Ted what she told him. But like Carl said in either scenario, it is not her fault. And besides, this is my son and her second son he’s attempting to deceive!

I see Carl’s car drive up he waves as she gets out and I open the door to her. “Hey, no cast!” She winks conspiratorially at me as she comes in.

“Yes it is a relief to be able to use both hands again. Go on through to the lounge.  Methinks this chat calls for something stronger than tea or coffee.”

”Oh yeah.” She makes herself comfortable while I pour us a brandy each. “He’s already been on the phone bitching about Saturday.”

“But he’s not even gone out yet!” I sigh in exasperation. “You know what this is, don’t you?”

“Jealousy. Instead of cancelling the wedding making them drift apart, Brian and Justin are closer than ever. Now that his relationship with Ben is ending, he’s got nobody to play with.” She takes another sip of brandy.  “You’ve heard all that they’ve tried to do, haven’t you?”

“Oh yes and that reminds me. I need to speak to Mel.  I’ve heard something very interesting.  Help yourself to more brandy.” I dial Mel’s office number and Debs looks surprised.  “Mel and Justin have always got on. Ah Mel, it’s Jennifer.  I’m fine.  Listen, I won’t keep you but I’ve heard on the WASP network that you and Lindsay are no more because she left you as she’s no longer a lesbian.  Of course, it was Lynette! She was crowing that her parents are so delighted that both their beautiful daughters are on the straight and narrow path. No, that’s word for word. So what you do with that information is entirely up to you.”

Debs finally composes herself. “Oh thanks Jen.  I needed that!”

RED CAPE COMICS - FRIDAY MORNING

HUMPHREY, THE AUDITOR

I can see Ted getting more and more annoyed. And I don’t blame him. The inventory that was at the other residences weren’t on the spreadsheet, so it looks like he tried to hide them. Ted is going to revise the offer to take these into account and he’s decided that all inventory is going to be at another location.  All trust is now gone. He’s going to sell the shop quickly and give him the money for that but the inventory is going to go to a specialist auction and sold at a later date. However, there will be a reduction in his share to reflect the attempted duplicity.  Ted is looking forward to Brian and Justin!

MEL’S HOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON

MEL

So she’s no longer a lesbian, is she?! We split up at her instigation, did we?! I look around our, I mean my bedroom and smile.  Well in that case, she can have her personal effects back! I grab the first box and the bitchy bulldyke side of me wants to just fling it in the box but that’s exactly what she would do. She would want me to know how much I pissed her off. Well, I refuse to give Lindsay that power! So I take my time, meticulously folding it and making sure that she has no complaints. Once I do one wardrobe, I tackle the other and I can feel my mood lightening. This calls for wine!  

I have a nice glass of merlot in hand when I start on the art supplies. I can’t stop chuckling over the fact that she won’t be using them any time soon, if at all. There’ll be nobody in the Pittsburgh area that will hire her after Sidney gets the word out about her behaviour.  

I put my glass down and check my watch. I should be hearing from Ted soon.

Now that I have packed up everything for her, I move onto Gus’s room and open his toy cupboard. I now have the cleaning bug!  Rolling up my sleeves, I take out the numerous toys he has accumulated over the years and go stock still. Behind the toys are boxes of shoes, some handbags, and a load of clothes mostly with tags on. Some were bought in the last six months! No wonder she never wanted me sort out the toy cupboard.  A thankless task she called it and since you work so hard, let me do it; I remember her simpering tone all too well!

I’m about to call her to get an explanation, when Ted calls, the money is in. Shame that!

In fury, I stomp to the kitchen for some sharp scissors. Once I pile everything on the bed, I grab my calculator. I have no idea how long she’s stored these for but she’s spent almost $30,000 just on herself!  I want to scream but suddenly I have a better idea! I call Jennifer and she’s free. I tell her to bring Debs! After that, I call a removal van company and book it for early Monday morning. Then I put in a call to a locksmith for tomorrow morning, after they have taken the kids, of course!

MEL’S HOUSE - SATURDAY MORNING

MICHAEL

“I don’t understand why we can’t take her car though. It already had the seats in it!” I watch impatiently as Ben and Mel put the seats in his car. “You’re eating into our…”

“Because Ben’s car is bigger Michael.” Mel interrupts. “Now stop complaining and pack the picnic and buggy in the boot that way you can go the moment they are secured.  Lindsay, can you stop that? Gus is fine. I’ve dressed him for a day in the park before!  There, now you’re all set.” Mel smiles brightly.  “I’ll just get JR and you guys can go.”

Soon both children are strapped in and we’re off. “Where are we going?” I ask snippily. “I presume you have somewhere in mind since you suggested the picnic and sucked up to Justin with the park idea.”

“Twin Lakes Park. It’s about 40 minutes from here. It’s a great place to think and very kid friendly.”  He replies, without taking his eyes of the road. “Now, l’ve just got to pick up someone and then we will be on our way.”

When he stops to pick up Emmett, I’m incredulous. “Why are you coming?” I demand.

“I’m not coming on mommy and daddies’ day. I have a meeting in the area and Ben agreed to give me a lift.  Hey Gussy!”  

“Auntie Emmy Lou, hello!” Gus calls back, waving at him.  

“Lambskin, why do you call Ems that?” Lindsay asks. That’s what I’d like to know!

“Because he likes me to. Auntie Emmy Lou is funny.”

“Oh yes, he’s hilarious!”  I mutter to myself.

TWIN LAKES PARK

BEN

I have been relegated to the role of chauffeur. I’ve not been given an opportunity to hold JR and frankly, I’m getting sick of it. As Gus is looking very bored I grab the ball and take his hand.  “I’m just going to take Gus for a bit of a kick about. We’re just going to be over there.”

Michael waves us away as he continues to play with JR. Lindsay just nods, adjusting her sunglasses. Good to see she’s focusing on the bigger picture!  

I give Gus a piggyback and soon we’re involved in a rousing game of football with some other kids that were there. Gus has made a few new friends it seems, with some moms pressing their details into my hand for playdates some from dads too!

We decide to head back when I hear familiar barking and then someone shouts. “Coming your way!” I turn around just in time to be attacked by Frack!  

“Hey girl! How lovely to see you!”

“Uncle Ben, who’s that?” Gus asks shyly.

“This is Frack. She’s a very friendly and special dog that I know.  Isn’t she pretty?”

“Yes. Look there’s another one!” Gus grins as Frick comes bounding over.

“Ben, what on earth do you think you are doing?!” Michael shouts, storming towards us.

“Petting the dog Michael, what does it look like I’m doing?” I glare at him. “Let’s not make an unnecessary scene…”

“Unnecessary…! You don’t even know this animal and…”

“Hey dad!” Hunter shouts across to me and Michael’s not the only one surprised.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were meeting friends?” I give him a one shouldered hug. “Gus? Do you know who this is?”  I ask pointing at Hunter.

Michael rolls his eyes.  “Of course he…”

“Hunner.”

“Close little dude. It’s Hun-ter.” He hunkers down. “You having a good time with my dad?”  Gus nods enthusiastically.  

“Excuse me, Hunter!” Michael snaps. “But can you take those animals away from my son...I mean…”

“Wow Michael. Just wow.” Hunter snickers before turning to me. “Aren’t you glad you took it off now?”

“Yes, yes I am.” I reply. “Want to go play some more football, Gus?”

“Can I play with them instead? They tickle!”  He giggles.

“Hey Ben!  It is Ben, isn’t it?” I look up and the guy looks vaguely familiar but I’m not sure where I have seen him before. “You found him jogging and I picked him and you up.”

It takes me a few seconds to remember and smile.  “Ah yes!  I never did get your name.”

“Xavier.  Is he your kid?” He asks.

“No he isn’t.”  Michael snaps. “Come on Gus, we’ve got to go and eat now.” He takes his hand and Gus looks a little sad to be leaving us. “Whenever you’re ready to join us Ben, we’ll be waiting!”  

“Bye doggies! Bye Hunner!” Gus calls back as Michael leads him away.

“So you ready?”  Xavier asks me.

“Oh yeah, he’s more than ready!” Hunter laughs and runs off before I can cuff him round the head.

“Is that so?”

“Maybe.” I reply and we jog to catch up with my errant and embarrassing son!

Five missed calls later, I make my way back to them.  

“You’re back then.” Lindsay snipes, looking harassed as Gus is looking bored and starting to grumble. Michael is struggling to change JR’s nappy.

“Michael, take her to the baby changing unit over there; don’t change her out here! And Lindsay, I was gone for 45 minutes tops. Before that, I was playing with Gus while you were basking!” I bridle. “I take it you’re ready to go back now?”

“Yes.  We…”

“Mommy, we can’t go back! I want to pet the doggies!”  Gus cries, his eyes filling with tears.

“No Lambskin, you’ve just got clean. Now come on we’re going home to momma!”

OUTSIDE MEL’S HOUSE

LINDSAY

“Mel! Where are you? We’re outside, of course! I am respecting your wishes and not using my key! What do you mean, what are we doing back already? Six...I thought you said before six!” I look at Michael and he’s nodding in agreement. “Well can’t you come back?  Fine, well enjoy your day!”  

“Guys I have to go, I’ve got…”

“A date?! I notice you’ve taken your ring off!”  Michael snaps.

“Do you want a lift to where you need to be or not?”  He retorts.

“Yes Ben, that’s very kind of you.” I soothe, glaring at Michael. “Perhaps you could drop us off at Debs so that…”

“Ma would love to see them. Come on, let’s just go!”  Michael declares and goes to put JR back in the car when Ben stops him.  

“No, I’m not taking you there.” He asserts and then looks at his watch. “Make up your mind where you want to be dropped off.”

“Could you drop us off at my parents place? It’s near the…”

“That’s almost back the way we came!” He sighs crossly.

“Aww... shame you’ll have to reschedule your date, won’t you?” Michael really needs to shut up!

“I don’t know what to suggest.” I lament and hope that JR will go into a crying jag.

“Phoning Mel before leaving and not when you get back to her house would have been a sensible thing to do, for a start.” Ben bridles. I go to speak but he places a call instead.  “One minute, hey there it’s Ben, can you send the standard car round to Mel’s house, baby carrier and toddler with a booster seat, oh and a buggy.  How long?  Great thanks. Oh and it’s a cash fare.”

“A cab is on its way.” Ben tells us.  

“Uncle Ben, are you going now?”

“Yes Gus, I’ve got to go home now. So be a good boy for them and I’ll see you soon.”

“Tomorrow? Will I see you tomorrow at grandma and Uncle Carl’s?”  

“Yes, you will.”

“Goody because daddy and Jussin are back too.  Bye Uncle Ben.”

“Bye Gus.”

“Ben…”  I begin.

“Save it! You’ve not let me anywhere near JR today. In fact, you’ve treated me like the hired help! Well guess what... I quit! I’m going to speak to Mel about seeing JR, either on my own or I’ll share the day with her. There is no way I’m doing this with you two again!”

CAR JOURNEY BACK FROM NEW YORK - EARLY SUNDAY MORNING

JUSTIN

“Don’t stop, don’t you dare fucking stop!” I cry as Brian pounds into me. We’re face to face and I’m almost hitting my head on the door as I jolt forward with the force of his thrusts.  “Never stop, please!”

“I won’t! I. Will. Never. Stop!” He grabs me round the waist and pulls me tight to his pistoning hips and I almost go cross eyed as he hits my sweet spot hard and sharp.  “Fuck, you feel so good... as good as the first night!”  He growls. “Now it will only be me! Oh fuck Justin!”  

“Oh so...yes!”  I shout and spurt between our bellies, copious amounts dripping onto the insisted upon blanket. “Fuck! Keep fucking me!  Keep fucking me!”

“Anything for you. My husband. Any...oh shit fuck! Christ!” I feel like hot lava is pumping inside me, my thighs are trembling and I’m clawing at his ass and back. “Mark me! Show the world I’m yours!” He groans before he starts to thrust again but this time it’s slower, gentler, we slow down to rocking and languorously kissing. “Mine and only mine.”  He says between kisses.  

“Yours and only yours.” I gasp before the force of my orgasm hits me again and I black out.

An hour later, we both start to come round.  “Brian?” I mumble into his hair. “We need to find a shower; we can’t stay like this!”

“Mmm but I'm in my hot happy place.” He mumbles back and rolls his hips.

“Unnn! Brian! Come on…”

“That’s what I’m trying to do!” He snickers before lifting his head. “But you’re right, we are a mess.  Ruth is going to kill us if we get anything on the car.”

Slowly we peel ourselves apart and put on our sweats before driving to the hotel that Ruth had thought to book for us at each fuck stop.  I love that woman!

DEBS & CARL’S HOUSE - EARLY SUNDAY AFTERNOON

MEL

Everyone is glaring at Lindsay and Michael. I have told everyone how they behaved to Ben and nobody is happy. I dread to think what Brian is going to say, but I am looking forward to it!

But it’s Lindsay’s expression that is making me bite my cheeks! To say it was hilarious on Saturday is an understatement.

Start of flashback

MEL’S HOUSE - FRIDAY EVENING

MEL

Thirty minutes after the call, they’re here. I give them a glass of champagne each and lead them upstairs.  

“So here is what Lindsay deemed the support money was to be used for.” Like me, they are astonished at the amount she’s squirrelled away. “So ladies...take your pick!”

“You’re not serious?!” Debs gasps. “Some of this stuff is really expensive!”

“Yes, only the best for Lindsay. And yes, I’m absolutely serious. But you can’t have that tote; it’s mine.  Now come on, you know you want to…” I cajole.

Within minutes, we descended like vultures on carrion. What we didn’t take, we decided since it was late night shopping, Debs would stay with the kids, and we would take what we could back. I left it to Jennifer explain how she had simply forgot that she had them. Out of the 12 pieces, we got credit notes or refunds.  There is a beautiful suede coat but we couldn’t get a refund or credit note, but then Jennifer turned to me and said to leave it with her. So the only thing left of her support shopping is the boxes!

I said that we had to each wear a piece for dinner on Sunday and watch her squirm and seethe, knowing there is nothing she can do about it. Jennifer decides on a beautiful navy bias cut dress. Why Lindsay thought she could get away with this, I have no idea. It would have looked ludicrous on her. Debs took a few bags, one of which she’s going to leave it on the side so she can see it. As for me, I decided on the velvet and suede bomber jacket.

“So that’s Sunday sorted. What are we going to wear for lunch tomorrow? The country club has a strict dress code.” Jennifer grins evilly.

The next morning, I take the keys and tip the guy heavily for putting the original casing back on the front of the lock. I meet Debs and Jennifer at Eleven instead and took great pleasure of hiding in the bathroom when they came home early. But when I heard what Ben said before he left I was incensed... and made it my mission to tell everyone all about it!

End of flashback

DEBS

Jen had come in with a massive box and I looked at Mel but she just shook her head. “Mel, can you make sure I don’t forget to give this to Brian or Justin when they’re leaving?”

“Um sure, what’s in it?” She asks.

“This!” She opens the box with a flourish and inside is the coat from Friday and Lindsay’s eyes almost pop out of her head in fury.

“Who’s it for?” She asks.

“Ruth, I think it would be perfect on her, not only is a great cut but she would look so cool!”

“I agree absolutely!” Mel smirks and helps her put it back in the box.

I have to leave!  So I head to the kitchen and am unsurprised when Lindsay follows. “Debs, what a beautiful bag.  Where did you get it from?”

“A charity shop Jen knows. Amazing things in there. She got some choice pieces, including that coat and the jacket that Mel’s wearing.  As much as Jen liked it looks better on Mel than it did on her. That’s what I like about Jen, she knows what works for her and sticks with it. She dresses for the shape she is, not what she hopes to be.” I stick my face in the pot so that explains why my eyes are running.  “Ooh, peppery!” I sniff and reach for tissues to dab my eyes.

“And where is this charity shop?” She asks.  

“You’d need to speak to Jen. Like I said, she came with a shitload of stuff! I got a couple of bags.”

“Ooh look!  Big Bad and Baby are here!”  Ems calls out.

And now the shit really kicks off!

INSIDE THE CAR

BRIAN

I look down at my watch, my wedding watch, and reach for Justin’s hand. “Whose ass do we kick first?” I stroke his knuckles.

“Why do they insist on making life so difficult for everyone, including themselves?” He sighs crossly. “I mean, there’s mendacity and jealousy but come on!”  

“Because we, yes I’m including myself in this, have always let Michael…”

“What did we agree on about them when we’re alone?” He glares at me, eyes dancing.

“Of course, my mistake. Cinders and Crumpled have always been allowed to have their own way and…” I lean over to kiss him, my hole twitching as our tongues dance. At one fuck stop, he rimmed and fingered me for an hour. “As I said before, that shit stops now.”

“Mmm. Thank God for Daph and Ruth…”

“Yeah.”  

I laugh at the memory of how they reacted when we said how we were going to break the news to Jennifer. I don’t think I have ever seen two women look so scandalised at the thought that we were just going to call her and tell her. “We have modern technology. You will FaceTime now or Daph will keep your iPad and I will delete everything in the satnav!  We didn’t want to take the chance she was kidding!

“Shall we sit here a little longer? He must have gotten to fixed on door stare stage now and she’s most likely ready to unleash Gus?” Justin laughs bitterly.

“Um no, let’s get this done and then you can fuck me all over the loft.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen him leave a car so fast!

JUSTIN

“Get out of the car already!” I yell as I resist the temptation to slam the car door. As he gets out and comes around to my side, he drapes his arm across my shoulders.  “I think we should let Ted deal with Michael.”

“Me too. Let me text him quickly.”

We didn’t get to knock as the door is pulled open by Carl. “Thank God.” He mutters as he lets us in. “I was almost going to get my gun!”

“Daddy! Jussin!” Gus yells, running towards us. Brian scoops him up and he peppers kisses all over his face. “Now Jussin!”  He leans across to me and I take him from Brian.

“Gussy kisses!  Perfect!  Did you have a good time yesterday?”  I adjust him on my hip.

“Uncle Ben and I played football and I met some doggies; they were pretty!”

“Dogs?” Brian frowns.

“What did I say…”  Crumpled begins.

“Frick and Frack.” Ben interrupts. “They were with Hunter. We went to Twin Lakes Park.”

“Really? It’s supposed to be beautiful over there.” Brian tickles Gus. “Did you like the park Gus?” He nods. “Good, we’ll go again then. Is it time to eat? I’m starving.”

They are sulking, actually sulking, because he hasn’t said anything to them!  

“So how was New York? Did you get everything you needed accomplished?” Cinders, I mean Lindsay, asks.

“Absolutely.”  I reply coolly.

“Daddy, can I sit with you and Jussin?”  

“Of course Sonny Boy. You can sit between us. Mel, can you pass me his plate and stuff please?”

We eat with the usual bantering. Gus’s stream of chatter helps to calm us both down. After he eats, the combination of food and excitement starts to get to him and Brian takes him upstairs to bed. Mel follows with JR. They aren’t up there long.

Mom help Debs clear the table. She told me how she had to rally Debs to stop her from falling into old habits. I’m glad that they are friends again.

When Bri and Mel come back downstairs, I can see it in both of them. Ass-kicking time! It takes everything in me not to do my best impression of Em by squealing and clapping. I remind myself that I have to play this cool the way Brian’s partner… I mean husband should be.

“More wine?”  Carl asks and pours for those who want it.

“So what have you guys been up to?” Brian smiles around the table. “And by you guys, I mean you specifically, Emmy Lou?”

“Me? What about me?” He smiles...Okay what’s happening there?

“Sorry, not just you. You and Hunter.”

“I was asked a question, provided an answer and ensured that the objet d’affection was in the right place. Hunter did the rest.” He laughs. “Seriously, you are so oblivious!  Shameful for a gay man!”

“You set me up?!”  Ben gasps. “I’m…”

“Did it feel like a setup?”  Emmy Lou tilts his head, grinning

“No.”

“Then there’s your answer. It’s divine intervention. I’m divine and had to intervene! Otherwise, I wouldn’t worthy of being a gay man’s fairy godmother, now would I?” He smiles smugly.  

“Emmy Lou!” I laugh and then laugh harder at the highly fucked off expression on Crumple’s face. “So what else has been happening?” I ask, finally getting myself under control.  

“Why are you asking questions like you’ve not been around for ages?” He demands.

“We went to New York on Wednesday and got back this morning. So yeah, in your world, I guess that’s ages.” I snark.

“Wednesday?” Lindsay echoes. “Why weren’t we told?”

“And what business is it of yours? The children weren’t with them.” Mom is gimlet eyed.

“Supposing there was an emergency?” Michael glares at her.

“A procedure has been put in place between them and Mel to cover emergencies where the children, who again weren't with them, are concerned. But as a matter of interest, what constitutes an adult emergency for you, Michael? Is an emergency letting yourself into their loft to ask if Brian wants to go shoot some pool? But when finding them, in your mind, in flagrante delicto, you make it your mission to horn in on their vibe?”

“Horn in on their vibe?” Lindsay scoffs. “Are you trying to be trendy, Jennifer?”

“Are you trying to be straight, Lindsay?” Mom bites back. “After all, you ended things with Mel, didn’t you? Because you are no longer a lesbian…” Mom flicks her hair. “Well that’s what Lynette has been saying around the country club. The suitors will be queuing up.”

“Lynette is clearly mistaken! I don’t know where she got that misinformation from.”

“Your mother, who according to Lynette, said you told her. You must have said something to be back home. I mean, your problems with your parents and their acceptance of your sexuality, are well known around the club and the surrounding environs.”

Go mom!

“As I said, Lynette is mistaken!”

“Michael, are you happy with the figure with regards to the selling of the store and the apartment?” Ted asks. “If so, can you sign the agreement so that I can accept the offer?”

“Offer? You’ve had an offer? Why didn’t you tell me?” Michael snipes.

“Because not all parties were present and now they are.” He replies.

“Yes I am. This should help to pay support towards JR.” He looks at Debs, no doubt for praise, which is not forthcoming.

“Great, I have another copy. As discussed on the phone, we’re going to sell the toys separately, as we want a quick sale on the real estate. If you can double check it and sign, then I will arrange for an immediate transfer of the money.”

He reads through the paperwork and then signs. “Thank you. Give me two minutes and then check your account.”

“Money’s there. Mel, about the support. Now I…”

“Michael, our business is not concluded.” Ted states. “Now with regards to the inventory, please can you check the spreadsheet as we are sending them all to a specialist auction house…”

“What’s the difference?” He asks, taking the spreadsheet from him.

“We’ve had some offers on some pieces and with your extensive knowledge of the collectibles market, we want to be sure we’re getting the right price. Back page.”

The arrogant expression falls from his face as he reads the back page. “Ted…”

“Yes, is there a problem?”  

“These weren’t on the original spreadsheet. They aren’t mine. You need to take them off! I was holding them for… for a friend.”

“They’re not yours? So that would be why they were here and at Ben’s? In that case, you need to give me the owner’s name so that I can send them to him.”

“What do you mean send them to him?  Where are they?!”

“Secure location. Name and address, please?”

“I can’t remember off the top of my head. I need to…”

“Come up with a slightly more convincing lie?” Ted interjects. “You have had these with Ben and Debs for years, so the holding it for a friend is not going to work. As a consequence of your actions, as per the agreement, all monies received in respect to these toys will now be split 80/20, in favour of Kinney-Taylor Enterprises.”

He whirls to face Ben. “Why did you give them to them?!”  

“Because I told him to.” Debs retorts. “I got sick and tired of clambering over your boxes in the room. The funny thing is that Hunter was bringing them to you but I called him back because I wanted to make sure that Brian and Justin knew about them.”

“You fucking did this?!” He rails at her.

“Hey, watch your mouth!” Carl spits out. “And the person that did this is you! By lying yet again!”

He is silent for a few minutes. “How about I buy these particular pieces back from you?”

Silence.

“No. All pieces will be sent to auction.” Ted replies, after getting the nod from Brian. “And besides, they’ve been evaluated and you wouldn’t be able to afford them and pay support for JR too.”

“You do remember JR, don’t you?” Mel’s voice drips with sarcasm. “Your daughter.”

“I want to discuss this with Brian and only Brian!”

“No.” Ted retorts. “I am representing Kinney-Taylor Enterprises in this transaction. So you have to deal with me or not at all.”

“If I tear this up, then the transaction is null and void.” Michael sneers, focusing his ire on Ted instead of me for once.  

“What does…”

“For the love of fuck!” Debs explodes. “They’re gone!  Accept it and move on!  Your daughter is supposed to be your focus, so fucking focus!”

We all look at Debs in astonishment.  

“But…” Michael begins to whine.

“One more, just one more word on this and I will make what Jen did feel like a tickle!” Debs hisses back. For a minute or two, he stares at her with an expression of disbelief and resentment. “Want me to smack that look off your face?!”

“Please say yes, just so I can hold you down.” Blake begs.

“Let’s move on from this!” Carl orders.

“Yes let’s.” Mel is trying not to laugh. I have to admit this shit is better than my mom’s old soap operas from back in the day. “So Ben and I have been talking and we’ve agreed to share my times with the kids, instead of him going with the two of you after yesterday’s debacle. And…”

“No! He doesn’t get to see JR without me!” Michael regains his whine.

“Or Gus without me.” Lindsay pipes up.

“Ben was the only one that engaged Gus in anything yesterday. He couldn’t stop talking about the football and the dogs. Lindsay on a bright sunny day, you had him sitting on a mat bored out of his mind. And Michael, considering the bank account Ben setup for JR, he has more than earned his right to be with her without you.”

“Bank account?” Debs looks at Ben. “What bank account?”

“It’s not much. Only a hundred a month, but…”

“Stop.” Debs gets up and walks over to him. “Stand.” She orders and he does so. Then he finds himself pulled into a tearful vice like hug. “I’m so sorry!” She weeps. “For everything, so sorry!”

Ben looks helplessly around the table and between them, Ems and Carl manages to wrestle Debs off him. Mom goes with her to get her cleaned up.

“How long has he been paying that?” Michael asks, his voice laced with resentment.  

“It’s down to Ben to tell you but let’s just say, you have a lot of catching up to do.” Mel retorts then she turns to Lindsay. “Now, how do you propose to pay your portion of the child support?”

“My portion?” She blenches. “I’m Gus’s birth mother remember?!”

“You no longer reside in the same home. Remember, that was your choice? Therefore, you have to contribute to his welfare.”

“I don’t have a job!” She snarls, glaring malevolently at me.

“Which is your fault! So to remedy the situation, get off that flat ass and find one!” Mom berates her.

“How dare you speak to me like that?!” Lindsay hisses.

“How dare you try to ruin my son’s relationship?!” Mom hisses back.

“Everyone be quiet!” Emmy Lou orders. “And you two sit down.” He scratches the back of his head thoughtfully before looking at me, then Brian and then at me again.

Please Emmy please!

EMMY LOU

Well I’ll be damned! They’ve only gone and done it! I look at Baby and wink and he almost sags in relief. Not my news to tell!

“So, are we done with the fighting?” I look round the table and the protagonists nod, some of them reluctantly. “Good. Now that piece of loveliness, where did you get it? Have you been spoiling yourselves?”

“What are you babbling about?” Michael gripes.

“The car.” I keep a lid on my retort because I suspect my Ruthie’s influence. “It’s gorgeous.”

“No, sadly. It’s not mine. I’ve just borrowed it from Ruth.” Brian sighs. “I’m working on making that permanent though.”

“Oh you are, are you?” Justin turns to him. “You don’t have a chance in hell of that happening.”

“If Brian wants something badly enough, he’ll get it.” Michael brags.

“Nice of you to finally see the light.” Justin drawls.

“Oh very good!” I giggle.

It takes Teddy no time at all to get it and he starts to laugh.

“What’s so fucking funny?” Michael demands.

“Think about what you just said. You know, about Brian wanting something badly enough to get it?” I pause and wink again at Justin. “Would you say that it applies to every area of his life?”

It takes a few moments for Michael to catch up. “Just because he wants it, that doesn’t make it the right choice!” He’s as angry as, my Aunt Lula would say, a snake that bit its own tongue!

“But it’s his choice. So that makes the choice right.”  I decree.

“So why did you need to go New York so early?” Lindsay interrupts, smoothly. “Was there a problem with Brown Athletics?”

“Because we wanted to.” Justin replies shortly. “And yes, Mel was aware of it.” Two sets of eyes look accusingly at her. “It was a lovely drive.”  

“Drive!” I exclaim. “You drove to New York. Why?”

“And back.”

“That’s great but again, why?” I prompt and Justin gets it as I’m about to explode. He looks at Brian.

“We got married and had a mini honeymoon.” Brian kisses Justin’s hand. “And after some deep, deep persuasion, he’s agreed to our surname being Taylor-Kinney. So Ted you need to sort that out for us.”

Mel is the first person to speak. “Married? You got married?”

“Yes. But fear not Emmy Lou; you can cater the blessing still.” Brian answers.  

I’m blubbering too much to do anything but nod.

“To everyone getting what they deserve, that was your toast on Saturday. This is what you meant, wasn’t it?” Mel asks looking at Jennifer, who nods and dabs her eyes. “When did you guys get spliced?”

“Thursday morning. We got lucky. There was a cancellation so we went for it.”

“Guys, I am so happy for you!” Ben exclaims, getting up to shake their hands.

“Happy enough to be an usher? Along with Hunner?” Justin asks. The joke about Hunter’s name still has me giggling. “Daph is going to be my best woman.”

He looks stunned. “Us?! Are you... absolutely! It would be an honour! Let me call him and tell him!” He runs to the back garden and I feel sure that Hunter could hear him, without the phone!  He comes in grinning. “Hunter says fuck yeah!”

“So Ted that leaves you and Carl being my ushers.” Brian looks adorably uncertain.

Teddy just nods and Carl just stares. “Me? You want me to be an usher?” He stammers.

“Yeah. You’ve been good to my mom and to me. So what do you say?”

“Yes son.  I say yes.” He manages to choke out.

“So you really going to make me ask?” He asks Debs quietly.

“Oh!” She starts to sob. “Kiddo…yes. Yes.”

“Brian, will we be going to the same place for lunch? Like last time?”  Michael asks.

“No. Because you’re not going to be my best man. Like Justin, I’m picking my true best friend and that’s Ruth. And before you ask Lindsay, no you’re not involved either. We only want people who are supportive of our marriage involved in our blessing ceremony.”

Lindsay’s jaw drops and Michael just stares at him.

“And now that Justin has full parental rights, a word of warning. Don't try to keep Gus away from the ceremony. I will not be happy.” Brian’s tone is lethal. “Justin is my husband, the love of my life and Gus’s stepfather...you fuck with him then you fuck with us.”

Nobody says a word!