CHAPTER 56 - NAMING CEREMONY...AND THE BOMBSHELL

DINER - SATURDAY AFTERNOON

OFFICE

MICHAEL

This is fucking ridiculous! I turn my back on Kiki as I do up my pants. I look so boring! I have a brown suit on with a cream shirt and tie and the shoes are pinching and rubbing! She rolls her eyes.

“Trust me you have nothing I want to look at!” She looks at her watch. “They will be here in 10 minutes, so dress quicker!” I roll my eyes back at her and start to take my time. “He is prepared to go without you. Just imagine spending all day with me…”

I speed up.

PETERSON RESIDENCE - SAME TIME

LOUNGE

LINDSAY

Sighing, I stare at my reflection. I look like my mother! I have on a twinset and pearls outfit and my hair is piled atop my head in a severe knot. “Can I at least have my hair down? This is giving me a headache.” I wince and rub my temple.

“You’ve been giving us a headache for the last few months. You’ve only got to suffer for the next hour or so. Besides, this style is much more age appropriate than the teeny-bopper, hair-flicking style you favour on a regular basis. At least this way you look like a grown woman, instead of a gallivanting trollop. Yes...much more appropriate indeed and befitting our station.” Mother tells me as she walks around checking me over.  “Hmm, I don’t like the shoes. They jar horribly with the classiness of the outfit. I think a lower heel is called for.”

“Mother please, let me have these shoes?!” I beg and I have never begged my mother for anything!

“What do you think Ronald?” Mother turns to him.

“I think we should get going to the naming ceremony. Let her have the shoes…” I heave a sigh of relief. “But pack the other ones just in case she decides to be Lindsay.”

“Excellent idea, let’s go.” Mother nods and grabs her jacket. “And you’re sitting in the front seat dear. Now let’s go and get your coh...friend and then we’re going to the country club for lunch.”

I am in hell. The Country Club. This is so fucking humiliating!

COUNTRY CLUB - SAME TIME

MICHAEL

I have been kicked four times by Lindsay under the table and again, I adjust the way I’m holding the fork.

“Oh Lindsay, hello!” I look up at the person as she looks through me. “How have you been?”

“Fine thanks, Lynette. Where’s your husband? Which number is it again?”

“He’s fine and as successful as ever. Just off preparing for our trip to France next week. He wants to visit some gallery showing Auerbach’s work. How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, I mean your ex-girlfriend, apologies for the oversight. She was quite a catch, wasn’t she? But...well don’t take this the wrong way but I don’t think you will get anybody of Mel’s calibre with your current look. Such an interesting switcheroo, don’t you think? From earth mother to bulldyke librarian?”

Lindsay doesn't say anything for a minute. “I will get Mel back. This is a…”

“No you won't, dear.” Nancy interrupts. “She’s far too happy with her life the way it is. You know... with you not in it.” She stands and kisses Lynette’s cheek. “Now run along, darling. Will we see you and Gerald for dinner at the weekend?”

“Yes mother. Our flight isn’t scheduled until the following afternoon.” She leans over to kiss Ronald goodbye and in doing so she bumps against Lindsay's head, causing her to wince. She glowers at her retreating back.

“She did that on purpose!” She hisses, rubbing her temple. “Does anyone have Advil?”

“No, now we must be going. The ceremony starts in 40 minutes.” Ronald declares. “Why don’t we go and check at reception?”

“I can do that myself, thank you daddy.” She says and even I can hear her barely suppress the sarcasm.

“You’re the one with the headache, so either sit and suffer or we go together.”

“Fine.” She swallows down whatever else she was going to say and follows her dad.

“Whatever you think is going to happen vis-a-vis Brian, isn't.” Nancy sips her tea. “Nothing will separate them. Clearly you seem to have forgotten one very important thing: Brian doesn't like you anymore…”

“We’re going to the christen…”

“Not by his choice.” She cuts across. “So whatever delusions you have, snap out of them immediately. They’re only going to make you look more the fool than you already do. Ah they're coming back, so let’s go. Oh and one more bit of advice. Do try to remember Michael, that the only person Lindsay thinks of is Lindsay.”

“We look out for each other.” I retort.

“But are you looking in the same direction?”

“You don't know anything about our friendship, Mrs Peterson.”

“Nor do I want to. Now proceed; I’m not getting there late because you are an idiot.”

CHAPEL - 40 MINUTES LATER

MEL

Gus is looking at the door and I hope they’ve not jeopardised this by being themselves. Finally, the door opens and it’s them. What on earth have they come dressed as?! Michael looks like a busboy and Lindsay like her mother. Jesus, her face is pulled so scarily tight! When Debs said they had picked their outfits, I didn't think they would be this mean. They look smart but not them; I will be taking lots of pictures!

Cassia snorts and tries to cover it up as a cough. “Not buying it.” I whisper and then make the mistake of looking at Emmy, who’s just frozen with his mouth agape. He taps Ted, who does a double take.

“Mommy!” Gus cries out and runs to her having taken that minute to look away from the door. “How have you been? Why is your face like that?” He takes her face in his hands and tries to pull it down.

“Gus, sweetheart please don’t do that.” Lindsay winces. “Don’t you look smart?! Did you have a good time at the blessing ceremony?”

“Yes! I married them and…”

“They are already married, darling.” Lindsay interrupts and Michael scoffs.

“I married them again mommy, didn’t I momma?!” He calls back to me as I approach with Gummy.

“Yes, you did in true Taylor-Kinney style!” I laugh and hand her to Michael. “What?” I ask when he looks at her and then me.

“Where did she get this outfit from?”

“Her godfather Justin, of course.” I enjoy his wince of annoyance.

“Hello Nana Nancy! Grandpa Ronald! I’m so pleased you are here!” Gus wiggles out of Lindsay’s arms to say hello properly. “Do you want to look at my watch?!”

“Aren’t you going to say hello to your favourite uncle?” Michael just had to try, didn’t he?

“Hello Uncle Ben!” He calls over his shoulder and Ben frowns. “Uncle Michael said I should say hello to my favourite uncle. That would be you so hi!” Gus answers before turning back to show Nancy and Ronald his watch. “Daddy and papa have the strap for when I’m bigger. It’s on my jacket so I could wear it today.”

“Mel, what did Gus mean when he said he married them again?” Lindsay asks and Michael rolls his eyes.

“Exactly what he said.” I reply, trying not to laugh as the tightness of her hair means that she can’t even twitch in annoyance. She reminds me of a cross between Joyce Wildenstein and the Joker from Batman. Or maybe I should reserve that title for Michael. “He put their official wedding rings on and said the words. You can watch the video if you like. Gummy had a small but very pivotal role” I chuckle as Gummy smacks Michael in the face.

“Brin!” She calls out trying to wriggle out of Michael’s arms.

“No JR, stay with daddy.” Michael tells her, holding her tighter.

“Michael, she’s going to scream the place down…”

“I haven’t seen her in such a long…”

“A week, you saw her last weekend.” I point out. “And you could’ve seen her during the week too if you had bothered to phone and ask. Now we are not going to ruin their special day, because that is what it is. She likes to walk about now that she can, so let her do so.”

“Mel, you’re the one causing a scene.” Michael bites back with a smirk.

“She wants to get down and go to Brian! I’d have thought you’d have some sympathy with her plight!”

“What’s going on?” Blake comes over. “Why is she making that face?”

“She’s not making a face, she’s just…”

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Gummy shrieks at top volume.

“Going to scream the place down like I said.” I clip out. “Oh no, you made her cry, you make it all better!” I order as he has the effrontery to try and hand her over. Instead, I walk back to Cassia.

MICHAEL

Blake is just staring at me. “Michael she wants to be put down to go to Brian. She will keep crying until she gets what she wants. She does take after you in that respect.”

As JR gets louder and louder, the room goes quieter and quieter. “Just let her go!” Lindsay hisses. As soon as I put her down, she stops crying and totters towards Brian, who has yet to come over and greet us.

“I’m going to go say hi to the godfathers…”

“Oh no, you’re not!” Ma tells me, coming over. “You’re coming with me. And remember you’re not leaving our sides until you’re ready to go. Or do you wish to go now and save everyone, including the kids, the grief? Think carefully of your answer Michael because if you go, she goes too!” She jerks her head at Lindsay, who glares at me. I follow Ma back to her seat, cursing beneath my breath.

“Did you have a nice lunch?” She asks, adjusting her dress. “Nancy said you were going to the country club for it.”

“I didn’t enjoy the food, the atmosphere was really stuffy and snobby and Lindsay almost came to blows with her sister.” Then I look around. There are fewer people than I thought there would be. “Where’s Carl?” I ask, not that I care of course.

“He’s the celebrant and…”

“The what?” I frown.

“Celebrant. This is the naming ceremony and…”

“I know that…”

“But what you don’t know is that this is a non-religious ceremony…”

“After all that fuss she made about bringing JR up in the Jewish faith?” I scoff.

“She didn’t make a fuss about that and you well know it! She made a fuss over you not discussing anything and railroading folks as usual!” She raises an eyebrow. “Which you have still not apologised to her for.”

“I don’t think…”

“No, you don’t. Now go on up. Carl’s ready.”

“But I don’t know what I’m doing?”

“Go on up and he’ll tell you.” She asserts.

I get up and wince as yet again my shoes hurt my feet. As Lindsay catches up with me, she sighs. “I can’t wait to take my hair down!”

“I can’t wait to take my shoes off.” I whisper back. “And to have a decent drink after this.”

As we approach Carl, I try to get Brian’s attention but he’s making faces at JR.

“Right, can I have everyone’s attention! This is a non-religious naming ceremony for Gus and Gum...Jenny Rebecca. Mel, can you bring Gus up please. Right the parents on either side of each child. Everyone stand and read the first reading.”

“We don’t have copies of it.” I point out to Mel.

“You don’t need it, we’re being read to.”

To the Parents

We are glad to share the joy of these parents Lindsay and Mel and Brian and Michael

With them we wonder at the miracle of life recreating itself. We promise to uphold them in the task of nurturing their child and dedicate ourselves to building a community in which the possibilities of their child's life may be fully realised. We speak their children's’ names, Gus and Jenny Rebecca honouring in them the rights and dignities of the human person.

“Thank you. Please sit down. No Gus, not you. You have to stand up still…”

“Oh sorry grandpa!”

“No problem son. Now can we have the godfathers? Will the parents step back, please?”

“I don’t under…” Lindsay begins but is cut off by a glare from Mel.

“We will start with Gum...Jenny Rebecca. Who stands for her as her godfathers?”

“I, Brian Taylor-Kinney.”

“I. Justin Taylor-Kinney.”

“I, Theodore Schmidt.”

“Thank you. Who stands for Gus as his godfathers?”

“I, Emmett Honeycutt.”

“I, Benjamin Bruckner.”

“I, Blake Wyzecki.”

“Now can you all repeat after me…”

Gus and Jenny Rebecca today we officially welcome you and name you thusly.

. We wish you long life and much happiness.

May you face all challenges that come to you as a person of integrity,

May you continue to bring great joy to your parents, your grandparents, family, friends, and to all those who come to know you.

May beauty delight you and happiness uplift you,

May wonder fulfil you and love surround you.

May your step be steady and your arm be strong,

May your heart be peaceful and your word be true.

May you seek to learn, may you learn to live.

May you live to love, and may you love - always

They repeat what he says and I can see Boy Wonder starting to tear up. He fucking cries for everything!

“Thank you. I declare these children so named and loved by this family. As do you all.”

Everyone cheers and I look at Lindsay, who looks as perplexed as I am. “Is that it?” I ask Mel.

“We’ve got pictures to take, but that’s it.” Mel replies.

“We thought we would have longer…”

“Their ceremony was always going to be short. Since it’s between their blessing and the formal dinner.” Mel hands me JR. “Okay all grandparents and parents please! Cassia, can you take these for me?”

“With pleasure.” She smiles.

For the next twenty minutes, they take lots of pictures with virtually everyone in the damn place. I am tired, hungry and my feet are killing me and not once has Brian spoken to us.

“Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is ready to be served.” Ruth announces and then Daphne comes over to us.

“Time to go.”

“Oh come on! Can’t we spend some more time with them?” Lindsay looks at Mel and then Brian. “Gus is…”

“Gone.” He retorts. “And so are you.”

“Brian, be fair!” She objects and everyone nearby goes quiet as Brian stops and turns around with a look of fury on his face. “Sorry! All I meant was... can’t we have time a bit more time with them?”

“You can see them tomorrow. You can have them for the day, would that be okay Mel? Ben?”

“Yes that’s fine with me.” Mel replies and Ben nods.

“Then Ta-ta.”

LINDSAY

I hold back my tears of frustration and desperation. “I want to say goodbye to Gus!”

“I’ll send Mother Taylor back with him!” He calls over his shoulder, not breaking his stride. “And Gummy for you Michael!” He adds.

Five minutes later, Jennifer is holding JR and Gus is rushing towards us. “Mommy, we will see you tomorrow! Can we go to the park?!”

“We’ll see sweetheart. Now mommy and Uncle Michael have to go now. So…”

“Bye!” He gives me a quick kiss and is running back the way he came. Jennifer raises an eyebrow but otherwise says nothing. We kiss Gum...JR goodbye and head outside to go home.

RECEPTION ROOM

BRIAN

All my angry thoughts disappear when I see Justin’s face. He has tears shining in his eyes but he’s smiling. “Allergies?” I ask and he nods into my chest. “So what’s got to you?”

He takes my hand and pulls me inside. I’m not one for being rendered speechless but Emmy Lou has done us proud. The green and white theme is perfect and the picture of the streetlight as the backdrop is just right. The addition of the words Here’s where it all started just makes it all the more poignant.

“That picture goes home with us and into your studio.” I whisper to him. “Now do you think you can make it to the table without flooding the room?” I tease and he glares up at me.

“Come-come husbands to your seats. We want to sit down!” Emmy shepherds up to the top table.

When I pull out the seat for him, he gives me such a heart melting smile that I want to drag him off to bed right now! I smirk slightly pleased that he got off when he did because he wouldn’t last long tonight. I fully intend to milk every drop out of him!

“So what do we have for eats?” He asks, wriggling in his seat and reaching for the menu. Eating is his fourth favourite thing to do, after loving me, kissing me and making love to me that is! “Oh wow! Prawn and pork potstickers, jerk duck tacos, tamarind and lemongrass braised oxtail with mint and coriander salad and frozen rainbow yoghurt cake...wait, what about the other cake?”

“Just for us.” I reply and kiss away that heart melting smile.

“Right, ladies and gentlemen! Officially a toast! To Mr and Mr Taylor-Kinney!” Carl booms.

MICHAEL AND LINDSAY’S APARTMENT - AN HOUR LATER

LOUNGE

LINDSAY

The first thing I did the moment I got in the cab was take my hair down and furiously try to get the blood circulating again. I am absolutely livid and Michael moaning about his damn shoes is not helping…

Start of flashback

OUTSIDE HEAVENLY RETREATS - 40 MINUTES EARLIER

LINDSAY

“I wish your parents would hurry up! I want to get these fucking shoes off!” Michael gripes.

“I want to let my hair down so badly but the way they are behaving they might tell on us and tomorrow will be suddenly cancelled. Let’s make nice until we’re home. Ah, they’re just coming. See?” I try to soothe, when I really want to scream at him. “So what are we going to do tomorrow?”

“Don’t know. Suppose we could take them to the park or something.”

“I got some lovely photos. I will email them to you.” Daddy tells us as he leads us to the car. But instead of unlocking the doors, he unlocks the trunk and takes our cases out.

“When did they get there?” I demand.

“While you were in the shower. Whatever we’ve not packed, we’ll drop it round tomorrow. Same goes for you Michael.”

“Where are you going?” I ask as he walks back towards the building.

“To the dinner, of course. Frick and Frack couldn’t make it so we’ve taken their places. Gus insisted.” He looks at his watch. “Your cab should be here in about 5 minutes. Have a good evening.”

“But daddy…!” I splutter but he just keeps walking.

End of flashback

“I bet Ruth or Justin put Gus up to it!” He seethes, rubbing his feet.

“Whether they did or not, my parents should still not have been there without me!” I fume. “Same for you.” I add quickly. “And did you notice, we weren’t given an opportunity to add to the godfathers? It was just who she wanted! Fuck, I need a drink!”

I head to the kitchen and grab a beer for him and a bottle of wine for me with a glass.

“Oh thanks, I need this so badly! Not even a drink were we offered!” He continues to bitch.

“Thank goodness for the lunch, and I mean that just about sincerely!”

“You and your sister really don’t get on, do you?”

“No we don’t. I’ve always remained true to myself and…” I pause and grab the paper and stare hard at the picture. “That can’t be true?!” I gasp.

“What?” He looks across at me.

“Look at this!” I shout and fling the paper in his lap. I sit back with tears coursing down my face.

“The artist Samuel Auerbach had a triumphant return to the Paris art scene with a stunning display of his new pieces. He is pictured here with his daughter Tabitha, aged 14, and his new fiancée, Lavinia who is Tabitha’s birth mother. In a statement he said when asked about his daughter and new fiancée; Tabs was a surprise to me when I found out about her a year ago. Her mother assumed I wouldn’t want to know and my past behaviour didn’t really help. But over the last few months I got to know her and after a minor misstep, I realised how great she is. As she’s not in the business, there is no game playing or subterfuge with her. I’m just happy and she makes me happier than anyone else would. We’re taking things slowly but Tabs is delighted....”

“S-stop reading it! I don’t want to hear it!” I cry, wiping my eyes. “A minor misstep. That’s how he described what we had!” I force myself to stop crying. “Give me the paper please.” He hands it to me silently and I seethe some more as I read the rave reviews.

“Fucking fucker! It should’ve been me there!” I pour myself another drink and Michael wisely says nothing, but I can tell what he’s thinking. Fucking Lynette will be all too happy to give me an accurate accounting of his opening and new family dynamic. Bitch!

RUTH’S APARTMENT - TWO HOURS LATER

LOUNGE

RUTH

They are itching to either go to their room or back downstairs but Jennifer and I called them up here to give them the good news.

“So what was it that couldn’t wait for tomorrow?” Brian demands.

“It’s done.”

“What is?” Justin asks and then looks from me to Jennifer and back again. “Italy? The villa is done?!”

“Yes darlings, it is.” Jennifer grins. “Here are your keys back.” She hands them to him with a flourish.

“Thank you! Thank you for sorting that out for us!”

“You’re welcome and Ruth, if you could do the needful with the paperwork...”

Grinning, I hand Brian the envelope with all the paperwork in it. “See you downstairs. We shall let you celebrate that in your own sweet time, but will be back for you in 5 minutes!”

BRIAN

“I still can’t believe we’ve done it!” I swing him around and then kiss him deeply. “Okay quick read and then we go back downstairs for an hour or so. I think the Beam was put there for drinking.” I nod at the two glasses and he grins. Tearing at the envelope, I read the papers and then freeze.

“What? What is it?” He asks seeing my expression. Wordlessly, I hand it over to him. “Oh my fucking god, she hasn’t! She can’t! Brian!” He hiccups.

“She has and she can. She’s given up her rights to Baby TK, with all her love. And no take backsies.”