CHAPTER 72 - PAST MEETS THE FUTURE

BRITIN - A MONTH LATER

LOUNGE, EARLY EVENING

BRIAN

We’ve finally had the breakthrough that we’ve been waiting for! We’re staring into the fire; he wanted it on even though it’s quite warm out. “When did you realise?” He takes my hand, spinning my ring.

“You’d whimper in your sleep.” I lift his hair off his neck, sifting through it. It’s getting longer, and kiss him there in an almost non sexual way. “And you’d try to crawl inside my chest, trying to hide.”

“Why not say anything?” He turns his head up and I kiss him gently.

“Same reason you didn't, I guess. We didn't want to go back there…

DR ALEX WINTER’S OFFICE - EARLIER THAT DAY

DR WINTER

“THIS WILL ONLY WORK IF YOU ARE COMPLETELY HONEST!” I shout at them, but yet again they have retreated to their mental corners! “Guys, you have to tell each other about the prom…” Even the word makes them flinch. “You won't have a future if you don't talk about the most important and horrific times of your lives.”

Justin eyes start to fill, but I stop Brian going to comfort him. “No! Brian, it’s time. I told you at the time to let him process the pain. By comforting him, but without processing it, both of you are not healing. You have to know...you must know Brian, right?” He battles with himself before sagging in his chair and nodding. “So ask him the question and then let him answer. As hard as it is, it is also that simple to start the process.”

“When did you remember what happened?” He asks quietly.

“After the bombing.” He whispers. “It just came back so fast that I couldn't deal with it. And then you were dealing with Michael and… So I changed my focus and pushed it deep down.”

He looks across at me and I nod. Immediately, he yanks Justin into his arms and rocks him. “Tell me what you remember…”

“Everything, absolutely everything. It was the first time I saw it.”

“What?”

“That only for me smile you have.” He takes a gasping, shuddering breath. “The pain was so bad, so excruciating, but that was nothing compared to not seeing you in the hospital afterwards. I know she thought she was doing the right thing, but it hurt so much.”

“I saw you every night.” Both mine and Justin’s jaws drop. “I stood outside your room.”

“Why didn't you come in?”

“Too afraid that I would make it worse.” He clears his throat and tightens his hold. “So when did the nightmares restart?”

“After we cancelled the wedding.”

They both look exhausted so I decide to end the session there and then. “This is enough, for now. Go home and I’ll see you next week. This was what was needed. Yes, it was painful but it needed to be done.”

They nod and as I watch them leave, I heave a sigh of relief. “Now for the next part. If they thought this was hard, they’ll soon learn that this was nothing!”

End of flashback

“Want a Beam?” He asks and he pads to get it when I nod. As he resettles in my lap, he sighs heavily. “You were right about it and him.”

“Who and which him?”

“The Pink Posse and having the gun. I put it in his mouth.”

I stiffen and swallow hard. No prizes for guessing who he’s talking about. “How’d you feel?”

“Stupid. I thought I would be empowered. But then all I kept thinking about was him going to go to the cops.” I kiss his neck again and he relaxes. “He never did.”

“Did you ever see Cody again after that?” He shakes his head and I sigh in relief. “Good.”

“Can I ask about your childhood? We’ve never spoken about it.”

“What do you want to know?” I take a measured sip.

“Everything.” He replies turning on his side and putting his hand on my heart inside my shirt.

Now it’s my turn to sigh heavily. But I know this conversation has to happen. Well here goes… “My father wanted me aborted, but mom wouldn’t. So he resented her and she, in turn, resented me.”

MICHAEL AND LINDSAY’S APARTMENT, OHIO - SATURDAY MORNING

LOUNGE

MICHAEL

Lindsay seems to have sunk into some kind of depression over this. What she doesn't see is that Brian just needs to cool off. He was just shocked and hurt when he found out. Yes, it's been a month and nobody has contacted us apart from attorneys, but they will come around. It's us after all; they always do.

“Lindsay, come on! You’ve got to snap out of this! Where is the woman who always fought for everything she ever wanted?”

“You don't understand Michael... they are taking my son away from me. I will have nothing!”

“You have the Caramels.” I point out. “They haven't taken away your right to them, have they?”

“No. But there is the little matter of Ruth being their mother. She will never let me see them! And besides there's a restraining order against us going anywhere near them too, remember?”

“Oh.” I had forgotten that they said all the children. “I bet this is Justin’s doing! He always wanted us gone and now we…”

“Oh yes, this is all Justin’s fault!” She growls, suddenly sitting up. “As loathsome as what you said was, I can sometimes see the merit in it. Brian would be our Brian, not his!”

“Exactly!” I snap. “So what are we going to do about getting him back to us where Brian belongs once and for all?! And the children of course… So what’s the one thing we can do that will guarantee that Brian will return to our sides and ditch the Bitch and Boy Wonder? Once we figure it out, Mel and fucking Ben along with Hunner will be tossed aside quickly as well. They shouldn’t even matter as it is! But then it will be you, me, Gus, JR and the Caramels at Britin, which is the way it should be. You’ll see, Lindsay but first we have to think!”

She gives me a small smile. “I hope so Michael, I really do. Now as for the one thing we have to do...” I listen attentively as the Lindsay I know resurfaces. By the time she’s finished we’re both giddy with anticipation!

DEBS AND CARL’S HOUSE, SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

LOUNGE

CARL

Everyone is so quiet. We’ve barely seen Brian and Justin this last month and we’ve missed them terribly. Gus and Gummy are with Nancy and Ronald this weekend and the Caramels stayed with Ruth and Arno. Testing the nursery, they said. Right...she still looks barely 4 months.

Work on Rage Unleashed has continued in their absence and we are getting pages to read. We are trying not to tease Ronald and Nancy over them not being in the graphic novel...well not yet anyway!

“Room for two more?” We all stare at the door where my sons are standing somewhat nervously. I leap up and pull Brian into my arms while Debs is crushing the life out of Justin.

“Debs! For heaven sake! Other people want a hug too!” Ems shouts and manages to wrestle him out of her grasp. “Baby, oh Baby!” He squeals and plants kisses all over his cheeks before grabbing Brian out of my arms and looking at him fully. “Baby, you need to do the facial thing immediately!”

“Thanks, Honeycutt!” He snaps before grinning and planting a kiss full on his lips!

“Pish posh! I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t want you back to our Stud!” He snorts. “And don’t call me Honeycutt!”

We all burst out laughing and they take their chair. “So, can we ask how it’s been?” Debs asks gently.

“You can. It’s been fucking awful!” Brian admits. “But through talking, we’re getting through it. We’d rather not tell you what we’ve discussed because that is just for us, but we have to tell you something. We don’t want you to say anything until we finish.”

“Okay. You heard them.” Debs looks around sternly and I follow her look with one of my own.

“We went to see Chris Hobbs.” Brian tells us.

You can actually hear people blinking in shock.

“We had a feeling that Dr Winter would suggest that so we took the step ourselves instead of waiting.” Justin adds. “And…”

“Wait. A-are you guys hungry?” Debs asks and we all stare at her in surprise. “I think everyone should be here to hear this. Saves you repeating it. In the meantime…”

“I could eat.” Brian looks bashful and Justin nods.

“Of course, you can. You’re skin and bones and you’re losing your bubble butt!” She gets up and bustles to the kitchen. “Hunner and Ems, with me! Carl, make the calls. By the time everyone gets here, you should be done!”

NINETY MINUTES LATER

The Caramels are upstairs with their brother and sister. Gus has amazingly not been affected by Lindsay’s absence. We’ve just told him that she’s working with Uncle Michael and he accepted it.

“So what’s happening?” Jennifer asks.

“We went to see Chris Hobbs yesterday.” Brian tells her and as her face drops. “As we said before, it was something we needed to do before it was suggested to us…”

Start of flashback

OUTSIDE HOBBS RESIDENCE - SATURDAY EARLY AFTERNOON

BRIAN

“Do I have to frisk you?” I smile at him and he pokes his tongue out at me.

We spent all of last night talking about everything, and when we went to bed after a nice relaxing bath, we slept so peacefully. Honestly, it was weird! When we woke in the morning, we both had the same thought so we called Ruth and Nancy and they took the children as we didn’t know how we would feel afterwards.

“Ready?” I ask, still a little apprehensive but game. After a moment, he nods and we get out of the car.

I knock on the door and it takes him a few minutes to open but when he does, his face drains of all colour. “Oh fuck!” He gasps and tries to shut the door, but I am too quick for him. Instead, I shove hard enough for him to stumble backwards and we make our way inside. “She sent you!” He gibbers and scuttles backwards.

“No we brought ourselves.” I retort. “I want to know why?” He stops scuttling and looks incredulously at me. “Why you did what you did? And none of this bullshit about being provoked; we both know that was just some excuse your old man came up with. You came to the prom wanting to do harm to…”

“Because I wanted him!” He shouts. “And you had him!”

“What?!” Justin and I say at the same time as he sits up, running his hands through his hair.

“I’m a jock, who was more than capable of kicking your ass. Don’t you think I would’ve fought you off in the athletics room if I didn’t want for it to happen?”  Justin is slack-jawed and I can’t think of a thing to say for a few minutes.

“You had the bat…” I point out.

“The bat.  Yeah I took it prom, but not to use it the way I did. I found out what car company you and Daphne were going to be using and me and my buddies were going to batter it… you know, just to scare the fuck out of you two while you were inside. And everything was going to plan, but then...then you showed up!” He turns from me to look solely at Justin. “And I saw it then! You loved him and everything just faded to black when he took you to the dance floor and I was so…”

“Jealous?” I prompt.

“Yeah. So jealous!”

“Of what for fuck sake?!” Justin yells.

“Your bravery. I was dancing with a woman, who left me cold and you were dancing with a guy at prom. Literally, the room faded to black for you two...it was only you two. And when the two of you kissed...I was so angry that…”

“You took a bat to my head.” Justin snarls.

“Yeah. It took a lot of courage…” He huffs a small laugh and I have to haul Justin back against me. Hobbs may believe that he could kick Justin’s ass- then and now- but I know differently.

“What did?!” He yells, struggling in my arms.

“Not to pull the trigger!” And that stops Justin. “With the other guy egging you on, you still didn’t do it. You still kept your integrity no matter what...in spite of a bat, in possession of a gun, you still...” He stands up. “Look, I know it doesn’t mean much but…”

“It means nothing so don’t say it! I will always hate you for what you did, but day by day you matter less. Do yourself a favour, Hobbs. Grow the fuck up and live the life you want, but not here! Because here you will always be trapped in the shadow of being a murderer!”

“I’m not a murderer!” He shouts back.

“Yes, you are! I died for a minute!” Justin screams. “You killed me for one minute!” He takes a breath and then looks up at me and his eyes are clear and bright. “But I came back for him. I came back for Brian.”

End of flashback

We are all shocked. Nobody knew that Justin had died that night. Nobody says a word for a while. Then for an hour, we are all talking quietly just trying to take it on board. I especially feel for Jennifer and Brian. Him because he was there during that terrifying time and her because she wasn’t. I think we all see now what the other two assholes can’t about Brian and Justin; that untouchable thing that binds them and in a way binds us together as well. The more we talk the better we feel as a family. Soon the children are down and our Sunday feels like any normal Sunday.

“Where’s Ruth?” Nancy asks.

“Bathroom.” Arno replies, feeding Harper. “I can’t wait for Hiccup to arrive.” He looks across at Gus reading a story to Gummy. “Have you told him?”

“Not yet.” Justin smiles. “We think it would be best when…”

He’s interrupted by the door knocking hard and I get up to open it. I find two medics outside.

“Excuse me sir, is there a lady in labour here?!” He barks at me and I run up the stairs shouting her name with them swiftly following!

ALLEGHANY HOSPITAL - TWO WEEKS LATER

RUTH’S ROOM

RUTH

I cry as I pack the last of my things. I am so relieved to be going home. I managed to get an infection during labour and had to be kept away from my child, who sailed through their preemie birth. Baba and mom have been here helping Arno and apparently nobody knows what I had, as the first person to find out when I get home...home...is going to be me.

“You ready?” Mom asks and I nod as I resentfully get in the wheelchair. But am thinking of the greater good.

RUTH AND ARNO’S CONDO - AN HOUR LATER

NURSERY

ARNO

As she bursts through the door, she comes to a halt. “Please can I see?!” She begs.

“Say hello to your son!” I grin and she takes him from me.

LOUNGE

GUS

I have my welcome home card from Gummy and I and daddy let me get her some chocolates. I was sad when Ruthie got sick but daddy and papa said that today is a nice thing for me and Gummy, though I don’t understand what.

We’re all here. Well not mommy and Uncle Michael, but I miss them less and less. Arno comes in and he’s smiling and then Ruth comes in with...with...a baby!

“Hiccup?!” I gasp as she sits next to me.

“Yes Gus, this is Hiccup.” Everyone is so quiet and I stare at the baby. “And you are a big brother to a little brother.”

“Oh. What’s his name?” I look at my little brother and he opens his eyes.

“Carlo.” Ruthie tells me.

“Oh, that’s like Ganka’s name!” I look across at Ganka. “You’re pleased, aren’t you Ganka? You have the biggest smile I have ever seen you have! Did you name Carlo after Ganka?”

“Yes. Yes we did.” Ruthie tells me and I am glad.

RUTH

"So Ganka you want to meet him?” Carl nods and I pat the seat next to me. He looks a little wobbly as he closes the short distance, but he sits gently.

“Oh he is just beautiful!” He says sniffing.

“Ready?” He nods and as soon as he is in his arms he’s sobbing.

“Tissues.” Emmy orders and some appear.

“Well go on then introduce hi...your grandson to the family.” Arno demands quietly. “I suggest you start with your soon to be wife!”

For about forty minutes gentle introductions are made, while Gummy has a rough idea that there is a new little thing, the Caramels are too busy concentrating on their now de-socked feet! God I missed this!

“Here you go mommy, he’s all yours.” I take him back with a smile and then chuckle at the tapping Emmy is doing on his pad.

“It is customary to ask the parents about the christening Emmy.”

“Pish posh!” He waves away my words with a smile.

“So how is everything wedding wise going?” I ask as mom takes Carlo and puts him in his bassinet. I understand why but come on, I hardly saw him!

“Don't set your jaw; it’s for the best.” She chides me gently.

“Right, so the weddings and christenings are the weekend before the premiere and all suits are ordered. Food tasting is in two weeks. Then the graphic novel release is two weeks after the premiere, right?” He looks at Brian and Justin and clears his throat hard. “Enough with the pashing!”

“Sorry not sorry!” Brian drawls. “But yeah that's right. We’re doing it in Babylon like last time, but the premiere of the movie is going to be in San Fran.”

“Why there?” Hunner asks.

“Where else would you release a gay movie apart from the gay capital of the world?!”

“True.”

I look at Arno, who is watching Gus watch his brother and then at Brian and Justin, who grin.

“Gus, can you come sit here a minute?” He scrambles up to sit next to me. “Thank you for the card and chocolates. That was very sweet of you.”

“I’m glad you like them. Can I…”

“Hang on Sonny Boy, she’s not finished yet.” Brian calls out.

“Do you remember your blessing ceremony, when you and Gummy got godfathers?” He nods. “Well Hiccup is going to need a godfather and a godmother…”

“He is. Do I get to choose who?!” He bounces excitedly and looks round the room. This kid did not get his whip smart smarts from his, and I use this term very loosely, mother!

“Not exactly. You and Gummy get to be them.”

“Be them?” He repeats. “Wow! Does that mean we have to go shopping in New York again, daddy?”

“Yes Sonny Boy, it does.” Brian replies proudly.

“YAY!!!!” And I swear his enthusiasm is so contagious as we all start cheering with him.