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Author's Chapter Notes:

Credit for the breakfast picture goes to Meriam...thank you my dear friend xxx

CHAPTER 80 - CONTACT IN BABYLON...AND EATING EGGS IN THE DINER

 

RUTH’S CONDO - SATURDAY MID-MORNING

 

RUTH

 

It is so good to be home! I think as I carry Carlo upstairs. Luckily he’s like his daddy, when he’s out he is out. I put him in his crib and head to the bedroom, where Arno is unpacking. “Feeling better?”

 

“So much.” I reply and sink into his embrace.

 

“How much are you looking forward to tonight?” He manoeuvres us onto the bed.

 

“You really think they are going to turn up?” I look up at him.

 

“Of course they will!” His laugh is hollow. “So what are you going to wear? I want that bitch to be thrown when she sees how gorgeous you look.” I scowl up at him. “Oh come on! You know what I mean! You barely looked seven months when you had Hiccup!”

 

“True.” I yawn and then sigh. “I think the dress code is sleek and sexy....oh and leather or suede.” He starts to laugh. “What?”

 

“With the weight he’s put on, he’s going to look like a futon!”

 

I snort and am just about to kiss him when Hiccup decides to wake up. “Your turn.” I order and with a smack to his butt, he heads to look after his son. I go to my wardrobe and take out the leather catsuit, with tail and a masque with ears. “Ready or not Lindsay, here comes mama!”

 

OUTSIDE BRITIN - EARLY AFTERNOON

 

MICHAEL

 

I am itching to look through the binoculars, but Lindsay is hogging them! “What can you see?”

 

“He’s over the fence and making his way to the front door.”

 

I want to demand that she hands over the binoculars, but I daren’t. She’s only just forgiven me for the post fuck up.

 

“Oh he’s at the front door!” She is smiling. “The door is opening…”

 

AGENT WARD

 

As the door opens, I wink at him and he steps back panicked and slams it hard. I hammer on the door and start shouting for him to let me in. I can see Justin sitting on the floor, laughing his head off with Brian. I post the book through the door and I watch them approach then read the note I had posted on it. I get a thumbs up and head back the way I came.

 

“You get them?” I mutter into my mike.

 

“Yes.” James’s voice comes over. “And even better, we’ve got his dad locked down. If they contact him, we will know about it.”

 

“Great. See you in the office.” I look across at them and give them the thumbs up, keeping as much of my face as I can covered. As expected they are stupid, and with both of them grinning, wave back!

 

BABYLON - LATE EVENING

 

EMMY

 

As I knew she would, Kiki has sent the word out and the place is heaving. “Come here, you!” Brian growls in my ear as he grabs me from behind and kisses my cheek. “This looks incredible and loving the assless chaps! Do not tell Justin where you got them from!”

 

“Too late!” Justin laughs as he joins us and waggles his eyebrows.

 

“Where are they?!” Brian demands, turning him around and heaving a sigh of relief. Then turning him back, he kisses him soundly.

 

“At home and they will remain at home. Only for you.” The look that Brian gives him makes me want to hunt those two idiots down and smack them repeatedly!

 

The club is streaming the videos of the marriages, christenings and adoption ceremony. Everyone is congratulating them and then I spot them, but have to turn away. He looks like an overstuffed sofa and she reminds me of the mother when she dragged it up in Birdcage!

 

“Oh holy fuck!” Lucas gasps as he stares passed them. “She has gone all out!” I turn around and luckily, they have moved off somewhere into the depths of the club.

 

“Good grief!” I gasp as Ruth strides down the stairs and heads towards us, grinning “Ooh girl! Look the hell at you...Halle ain’t got nothin’ on you in that!”

 

“Loving the ears!” Lucas grins.

 

“Check out the tail!” She laughs and turns around to wiggle her butt.

 

“You have got to tell me where you got that from!” Justin comes rushing up, dragging an astounded, but nodding in agreement, Brian with him. “How do you go to the bathroom?” He looks her up and down.

 

“It’s two separate pieces. If you look along the waist there’s an invisible seam. You can get them customised too...like this is. The normal ones are one piece and all that wriggling when you’re desperate for a piss was not going to fly!”

 

“Oh yes, definitely need to know where you got it!” He smirks and then frowns. “Uh Brian, it looks a little odd that the, albeit, ex-Stud of Liberty Avenue is playing such close attention to a woman’s body…”

 

“I’m thinking...yeah, get it customised so instead of the seam being round your waist, it should open at the back and under your butt for easy access and…office now!” He orders and drags him, giggling, away.

 

“So are they here?” She asks.

 

“Oh yes, look out for the bad Birdcage Momma and the Fat Sofa!” Lucas snorts. “You will know them when you see them!”

 

“Oh, bless her!” Ruth giggles as a very nervous Nancy comes in with an equally wary Ronald.

 

“Leave them to us!” I cry out and drag Lucas along with me.

 

NANCY

 

Oh my goodness! So this is a gay nightclub! I’m not sure where to look first or what to do, but luckily, Emmy is heading our way. But when he stops to talk to someone, I catch a flash of bare skin. As he gets to us, I pull him to one side. “Um Emmy darling, I hate to say this but the back of your pants…”

 

“Are supposed to be like that!” He giggles and I blush, determined to keep my eyes above his waist. “Now come to the bar, and I’ll impart some rules. Do not leave your drink unattended, do not ask for directions to the bathroom as with this noise, you will be directed somewhere you don’t want to go and lastly, make sure you stay with one of us at all times, okay?” We both nod. “Right so first things first, libations! Can we have two top shelf brandies, a beer and my usual Cosmo please?!”

 

“Coming right up, Ems! You going to be in the booth?”

 

“Yes! On the 1st floor.”

 

“We’ll send it up. Go on ahead!”

 

“Thank you! Now come on you two and let’s get you seated!”

 

As we follow Emmy, out of the corner of my eye I spot Debs and she’s having a rather animated discussion. “I’ll be right back!” I tell Ronald and Emmy. “I’m going to see what’s happening with Debs!” I point in her direction and they pause to watch me get to her without incident.

 

“...we seriously have these?!” She gasps to a tall 50s siren, who is laughing and showing her something on her phone.

 

“Debs, is everything okay?” I demand.

 

“Oh yes Nancy, its fine! Nancy, this is Kiki; Kiki, this is Nancy! She was showing me our new pancake moulds.”

 

“Oh, may I see?” She turns the phone towards me and my mouth drops open. “We...uh...my, is that what I…?”

 

“Absolutely!” Kiki laughs. “We’re trying to think of a name so it can go on the menu.”

 

“Pan-cocks or eggs a la coq.” I blurt out and then clap my hand over my mouth in mortification. “I’m so sorry! I have no idea where that came from!”

 

“Babylon is an inspirational place! And don’t apologise because it’s perfect!” Debs cackles. “Do we have them straight or just bent?”

 

“Both...but thought I would just show you this one. So Nancy, which is which, you named them so…”

 

“This one is the latter one.” I reply, my cheeks flaming.

 

“And the other one, we use for dessert with squirty cream and detailing…”

 

It takes a few seconds for the meaning of the word detailing to sink in and I burst out laughing. “Can you send that to me? I have to show Ronald. He will never believe me!”

 

“Hey, you beautiful women!” Daphne comes up, grinning. “Ooh, what’s that?” She grabs my phone just as the picture comes through. “Nancy Peterson! You minx! I was sent down to come and get you by your slightly worried husband.”

 

“Oh alright, you two coming?”

 

“I have a few more people to say hello to, we’ll be right up!” Debs replies and she links arms with Kiki, disappearing into the throng.

 

“I never thought I would say this ever, but I’m having such a great time! Shame that Gilly and Jennifer aren’t here…”

 

“No, it isn’t. We want them to go down and they are too wound up to let that happen. I heard about the apartment beatdown!” She laughs. “Shame you didn’t film that!”

 

“No, but I could happily recreate the hair drag the next time I see that supposed woman!” I snarl.

 

“Ronald! You need to calm your lady!”

 

LINDSAY

 

I am absolutely boiling in this wig and hat! My face is red and we’ve yet to see Brian or Justin. “I’m going to the ladies room!” I yell and head to the bathroom. He nods that he has heard me and keeps scanning the room. I push my way through the crowds while keeping hold of my hat and wig and am relieved to get into the relative coolness of the bathroom when I spot Ruth coming out of one of the stalls. I shake my head in disapproval at the thought of a mother-to-be partying in a place like this. When she comes into full view, I gape! Why is she no longer pregnant?! Was she pregnant in the first place?!  As I continue to stare at her, she looks up at me and gives me a friendly smile before adjusting her ears and walking out.

 

I splash some water on my face and then pull some towels out, wet them and apply them to the back of my neck. I freeze when Mel and Leda come in and stand two basins down from me. But they don’t seem to notice me while they chatter and giggle like excitable hens!

 

I make my way out as quickly as I can and head back to Michael. He is glaring at the dance floor so I turn to see what he’s looking at. It’s Brian and Justin, grinding up against each other and kissing passionately as if they are the only two people in the world. “Michael, we have to go!” I hiss and for once, he nods without a word and follows me out.

 

I hail a cab and the journey home is silent.

 

MICHAEL AND LINDSAY’S HOUSE - 40 MINUTES LATER

 

LOUNGE

 

MICHAEL

 

“Did you see them?!” He hisses. “It was as if the Hobbs incident hadn’t happened earlier!”

 

“Michael, it is all about appearances, remember?!” I sigh, crossly. “But we have something else to try and work out right now. I saw Ruth while I was in the restroom. For someone who is supposedly pregnant, she doesn’t look like she is!” He looks me up and down and I bristle. “And what is that look for?!”

 

“So she’s now smaller than you, big deal! You finally have started to put on some weight. I was feeling very alone in this!” He snipes as he sits down and I blench at the creaking sounds his pants are making. Why he had to wear leather is beyond me; I decide to ignore the weight barb.

 

“I think she was never pregnant in the first place and I shall use that as another rod to beat her with. But more importantly, she didn’t recognise me, nor did Mel and Leda, who came in after she left. So we’re safe! And I never thought I would ever say this, but I really could do with not cooking breakfast. So let’s go to the diner.”

 

“Yeah, why not? That will help with the weight you still need to gain!” He sneers before stomping up to his room.

 

“Roll on next weekend and fucking hurry!” I mutter. “After the premiere, I finally get my life back minus one major whining pain in the ass!”

 

DINER - SUNDAY MID-MORNING

 

BRIAN

 

We are in the back booths, recalling the events of last night. It was so good to dance! It certainly woke us up after the quickie we had in the office. “Ruth!” I call out and Emmy winces. “Sorry Emmy Lou, Advil not kicked in yet?” He shakes his head and inhales another glass of water.

 

The next people in are a rather green around the gills looking, Nancy and a fresh as a daisy looking, Ronald. As she slides gingerly into the seat, I frown. “What happened to you, Nancy?”

 

“Jagerbombs. I was warned, but I was curious. I shall listen next time, lesson definitely learned.”

 

“Aww curiosity killed your cat, Ronald?” He snickers at the innuendo.

 

“Not at all, Brian. She’s even more fun when she uses her claws for good.”

 

“OOOO-kayyy, that was scary! Is everyone here?” I ask. “We need to get his beast fed.” I laugh as Justin glares at me when his stomach rumbles again. So I give him a swift kiss and wave Debs and Kiki over. “Ruth, are you ordering for Arno?”

 

“Yeah…” She pauses as the door opens and they come in. We’re unsurprised now as we’re used to seeing them with their new, but not improved in the slightest, looks. “And here he is. Come on babe, we are hungry!” She calls out.

 

It was brief but there was a definite pause by Lindsay as they sat in the next booth down, with their backs to us.

 

“So what time did you guys get home?” Arno asks as he comes to sit next to Ruth.

 

“About two.” Justin replies. “And you guys?”

 

“Same, but didn’t get to bed until about three. Taking off that catsuit was a bitch, forgot to lube the damn thing!”

 

“Okay, so everyone is here now. Orders in...oh wait...we have a new breakfast item. Nancy, if you could do the honours and announce it please?!”

 

“I really couldn’t announce it let alone eat it!” She mumbles against Ronald’s shoulder. “Have pity...Jagerbombs.”

 

“Oh alright. Kiki, get her some more coffee, fresh!”

 

“No problem. And some Advil, right?” Nancy gives a weak thumbs up.

 

“You’d have thought after the third one, she’d have stopped.” Daph giggles. “But no she kept piling it down her throat.

 

“So this breakfast item, what is it?”

 

“Oh eggs a la coq and on the dessert menu, it’s called pan-cocks. Both named by Nancy.” Ruth chuckles. “So come on people, let’s order!”

 

Twenty minutes later, the orders are in and people are starting to return to the land of the living.

 

“So is it true then?” Kiki comes over with the first wave of food.

 

“Is what true?” I ask.

 

“That you’ve given Ruth her rights back?”

 

The diner gets quieter. It’s not a secret that she’s our daughters’ mother, nor that she gave up her rights to them.

 

“No. Although she gave them up, we never filed the papers. So she’s always had them and she always will.” Justin replies beaming.

 

 

“Justin, this is what your breakfast is looking like so far, gonna flip them and serve them done…good?” He nods enthusiastically before resting against my shoulder.

 Eggs a la coq

“So when do we see that gorgeous boy of yours in the flesh, Ruth? I’m sure the pictures don’t do him justice!”

 

“Soon. He’s due his first shots and once he’s had them, then we can take him out.”

 

“Look forward to it.” Kiki smiles and goes back to the counter. I watch quietly as they suddenly stand up and leave.

 

“Think that did it?” I ask Carl, who smiles and nods.

 

LINDSAY

 

She’s had that fucking baby and still has her rights to the damn Caramels! I storm up the street with Michael, panting and wheezing, alongside me. “Can you slow down a minute?!” He bitches.

 

“Taxi!” I shout and when one pulls up, I practically throw him inside. “When we get home, the first thing we do is call Hobbs and get this shit ramped up. I want that gloating bastard batshit fucking crazy immediately!”

 

CAB DRIVER - AN HOUR LATER

 

I drive down Carson Street and then into the garage. I carefully remove the bug and head to the meeting room. “Seriously, those two are dumb as rocks!” I laugh and hand over the recording before heading back to the car. This is the third time I have picked them up and they have not noticed!

 

 

Chapter End Notes:

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